SCHOOL PHUN:
VOLUME TWO NOTE: the previous file,
school phun, was primarily composed by The Locksmith, and so, unlike this
one, is not a part of my ongoing Pranks series. However, this is the first
Pranks file for which I recruited help. Now, enough bullshit, on with the
file.
- Are you tired of hearing your principal's
poofy-sounding faggot voice on the loudspeaker every morning? Well, here
is the solution: Cut the wire running down the wall to the speaker. You
will usually have to stand on something to reach it. Use an X-acto knife,
so the cut will not be noticeable and the custodian will spend forever
looking for a short or something.
- To get a NIFTY little magnifying
glass, just rip off the lens of a projector in your school. You will have
to unscrew it from a tubular casing which you should put back when you
are done, but keep the lens and wait for the next film show - they do not
normally check to see if the thing is there before they show it, because
teachers are stupid.
- In a previous file I suggested you
Krazy Glue a barbell to its bench or rack. Now, I want you to Krazy Glue
all the pulleys and tracks, etc. of all the machines in your school's weight
room stuck. Leave some in the lifted position so if they come around with
Solvent, as soon as the Krazy Glue cannot hold the weight up any longer,
******** K R A A A A A S H ! ! ! ********
- In a previous file I suggested you
load up a hi-res porno graphics screen into a store's computer on display.
You were to write a program that waited awhile so you could get out, and
then it would display the screen. This also works at school, but there
it is better: you can do it on ALL the machines that are not in use, and
it gets your fellow students howling their heads off and the teacher(s)
REALLY pissed!
- Another variation on that trick is
to erase all that stupid Word Processing or Logo software, and replace
it with a "slideshow" program that shows a diskfull of hi-res, hard-core
porno graphics. This is good to do after school if the teacher goes out
to the office or to the back room to screw Ms. Slutsky, coz all the other
students will get a good laugh out of it before anything is done. Make
sure you are alone or that there are no narks in the room before you actually
do this, though.
- A quicker way to fry a keyboard than
banging the keys, is to RANDOMLY pour Krazy Glue in between 'em, so that
the Krazy Glue sticks the keys so they can't be pressed. New Keyboard Time!
- Another neat way to fry school computers:
Get a dead disk. Take the disk part out of the jacket, throw it away. Cut
a five-inch circle of 220-grit sandpaper or emery cloth so that it has
the same shape as a floppy disk's disk. Place this in the jacket of the
dead disk, and put it in a drive, and boot up! No more read/write head
in about 5 secs. If you cannot find 220 grit or finer paper, it may not
turn inside the jacket, so just cut the thing out and put it in the drive
as-is. Coarser grit will fuck the head quicker. Also, if you do use a jacket,
do not do the trick yourself: Put a label on the jacket and put the "death
disk" in a sleeve and leave it by a school machine. The next guy to come
along will put the disk in out of curiosity and fry the head. Put the name
of someone you hate on the label, so they get blamed.
- One thing that some people at my
school loved to do was wait until some asshole's metal shop project was
nearly done, and then on a day when the asshole was not in school, they
would turn on the forge and throw the project into tne fire, only to be
melted down. Another popular metal-shop prank was to grind projects or
critical project parts down to POWDER. Still another was to pour water
on the projects of enemies, and then take a welding torch to it, not hot
enough to melt or even glow, you understand, but just so the project would
get a nice thick healthy coating of RUST.
- Just before the teacher that gave
you an F comes into the room, place several drops of Krazy Glue on his
seat. Do this to narks, sucks, and other goofs, too.
- Use techniques described in other
files to open the lockers of other students. Have fun randomly switching
lo ks and locker contents. Steal a few valuables and throw away/rip up/burn
a few textbooks too.
- Leave a note in your least favorite
teacher's slot at the office, telling him what a dick he is. Use as many
4-letter words as possible, and make it sound a bit like a blackmail note,
but do not mention any specifics or he may figure you out. Do this daily,
but make sure you are not noticed. Do not leave hand-written notes.
- Roll up a few Penthouse centerfolds
with those big roll-up maps. Do this to projection screens, too. - Go to
a dance at school. Armed only with a few tubes of Krazy Glue, strategically
place drops of Krazy Glue on the gym floor so milling dancers get their
shoes stuck to the floor. Also Krazy Glue canned music equipment to the
stage, to itself, to its operator(s), etc. The Music Company will never
want to do your school again, but you never liked that top-40, prep horse-shit
they played anyhow. - The one thing I have seen that gets the most reaction
at school is to puke in the cafeteria. The food always sucks there, but
it's usually not bad enough to make you puke, so do this: Outside the cafeteria,
you and a friend (it's more convincing when 2 do it at once) eat SO MUCH
LUNCH that you are both about to ralph. Now, go into the cafeteria and
order a lot of food, and eat it until you throw up. You will honestly be
able to say it was the food, and may get the rest of the day off! You will
also make everyone in the cafeteria swear never to eat there again.
- Write "for a good time call.." on
the can wall, and include your principal's phone number.
- Running out of paper for your printer?
Don't pay department store prices; rip off a few inches (thick) from the
computer room!
- In the can throw all the paper towels
into the garbage, along with the soap. Try to flush all the toilet paper
down the toilet. You won't be able to; it will back up the toilet and water
and shit will spill all over the floor. It is best to take a BIG shit in
the toilet first. - Do not flush the toilet when you shit.
- Krazy Glue the door of the school
bus(es) shut. Do other car tricks and Krazy Glue tricks to it as well.
Well, that looks like another file for now. Stay tuned for PRANKS 6!