Title: The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion and Other Stories
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Author: Thomas Hardy
Keywords: The Three Strangers and The Thieves Who Couldn't Stop Sneezing
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The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion and Other Stories
Thomas Hardy
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Table of Contents
The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion and Other Stories ................................................................1
Thomas Hardy ..........................................................................................................................................1
The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion and Other Stories
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The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion and
Other Stories
Thomas Hardy
The Melancholy Hussar of the German Legion
The Three Strangers
The Thieves Who Couldn't Stop Sneezing
I
HERE stretch the downs, high and breezy and green, absolutely unchanged since those eventful days. A
plough has never disturbed the turf, and the sod that was uppermost then is uppermost now. Here stood the
camp; here are distinct traces of the banks thrown up for the horses of the cavalry, and spots where the
middenheaps lay are still to be observed. At night, when I walk across the lonely place, it is impossible to
avoid hearing, amid the scourings of the wind over the grassbents and thistles, the old trumpet and bugle
calls, the rattle of the halters; to help seeing rows of spectral tents and the impedimenta of the soldiery. From
within the canvases come guttural syllables of foreign tongues, and broken songs of the fatherland; for they
were mainly regiments of the King's German Legion that slept round the tentpoles hereabout at that time.
It was nearly ninety years ago. The British uniform of the period, with its immense epaulettes, queer
cockedhat, breeches, gaiters, ponderous cartridgebox, buckled shoes, and what not, would look strange and
barbarous now. Ideas have changed; invention has followed invention. Soldiers were monumental objects
then. A divinity still hedged kings here and there; and war was considered a glorious thing.
Secluded old manorhouses and hamlets lie in the ravines and hollows among these hills, where a stranger
had hardly ever been seen till the King chose to take the baths yearly at the seaside wateringplace a few
miles to the south; as a consequence of which battalions descended in a cloud upon the open country around.
Is it necessary to add that the echoes of many characteristic tales, dating from that picturesque time, still
linger about here in more or less fragmentary form, to be caught by the attentive ear? Some of them I have
repeated; most of them I have forgotten; one I have never repeated, and assuredly can never forget.
Phyllis told me the story with her own lips. She was then an old lady of seventyfive, and her auditor a lad of
fifteen. She enjoined silence as to her share in the incident, till she should be "dead, buried and forgotten."
Her life was prolonged twelve years after the day of her narration, and she has now been dead nearly twenty.
The oblivion which in her modesty and humility she courted for herself has only partially fallen on her, with
the unfortunate result of inflicting an injustice upon her memory; since such fragments of her story as got
abroad at the time, and have been kept alive ever since, are precisely those which are most unfavourable to
her character.
It all began with the arrival of the York Hussars, one of the foreign regiments above alluded to. Before that
day scarcely a soul had been seen near her father's house for weeks. When a noise like the brushing skirt of a
visitor was heard on the doorstep, it proved to be a scudding leaf; when a carriage seemed to be nearing the
door, it was her father grinding his sickle on the stone in the garden for his favourite relaxation of trimming
the boxtree borders to the plots. A sound like luggage thrown down from the coach was a gun far away at
sea; and what looked like a tall man by the gate at dusk was a yew bush cut into a quaint and attenuated
shape. There is no such solitude in country places now as there was in those old days.
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Yet all the while King George and his court were at his favourite seaside resort, not more than five miles
off.
The daughter's seclusion was great, but beyond the seclusion of the girl lay the seclusion of the father. If her
social condition was twilight, his was darkness. Yet he enjoyed his darkness, while her twilight oppressed
her. Dr. Grove had been a professional man whose taste for lonely meditation over metaphysical questions
had diminished his practice till it no longer paid him to keep it going; after which he had relinquished it and
hired at a nominal rent the small, dilapidated, half farm half manorhouse of this obscure inland nook, to
make a sufficiency of an income which in a town would have been inadequate for their maintenance. He
stayed in his garden the greater part of the day, growing more and more irritable with the lapse of time, and
the increasing perception that he had wasted his life in the pursuit of illusions. He saw his friends less and
less frequently. Phyllis became so shy that if she met a stranger anywhere in her short rambles she felt
ashamed at his gaze, walked awkwardly, and blushed to her shoulders.
Yet Phyllis was discovered even here by an admirer, and her hand most unexpectedly asked in marriage.
The King, as aforesaid, was at the neighbouring town, where he had taken up his abode at Gloucester Lodge;
and his presence in the town naturally brought many county people thither. Among these idlers many of
whom professed to have connections and interests with the Court was one Humphrey Gould, a bachelor; a
personage neither young nor old; neither goodlooking nor positively plain. Too steadygoing to be "a buck"
(as fast and unmarried men were then called), he was an approximately fashionable man of a mild type. This
bachelor of thirty found his way to the village on the down; beheld Phyllis; made her father's acquaintance in
order to make hers; and by some means or other she sufficiently inflamed his heart to lead him in that
direction almost daily; till he became engaged to marry her.
As he was of an old local family, some of whose members were held in respect in the county, Phyllis, in
bringing him to her feet, had accomplished what was considered a brilliant move for one in her constrained
position. How she had done it was not quite known to Phyllis herself. In those days unequal marriages were
regarded rather as a violation of the laws of nature than as a mere infringement of convention, the more
modern view, and hence when Phyllis, of the wateringplace bourgeoisie, was chosen by such a gentlemanly
fellow, it was as if she were going to be taken to heaven, though perhaps the uninformed would have seen no
great difference in the respective positions of the pair, the said Gould being as poor as a crow.
This pecuniary condition was his excuse probably a true one for postponing their union, and as the
winter drew nearer, and the King departed for the season, Mr. Humphrey Gould set out for Bath, promising to
return to Phyllis in a few weeks. The winter arrived, the date of his promise passed, yet Gould postponed his
coming, on the ground that he could not very easily leave his father in the city of their sojourn, the elder
having no other relative near him. Phyllis, though lonely in the extreme, was content. The man who had
asked her in marriage was a desirable husband for her in many ways; her father highly approved of his suit;
but this neglect of her was awkward, if not painful, for Phyllis. Love him in the true sense of the word she
assured me she never did, but she had a genuine regard for him; admired a certain methodical and dogged
way in which he sometimes took his pleasure; valued his knowledge of what the Court was doing, had done,
or was about to do; and she was not without a feeling of pride that he had chose her when he might have
exercised a more ambitious choice.
But he did not come; and the spring developed. His letters were regular though formal; and it is not to be
wondered that the uncertainty of her position, linked with the fact that there was not much passion in her
thoughts of Humphrey, bred an indescribable dreariness in the heart of Phyllis Grove. The spring was soon
summer, and the summer brought the King; but still no Humphrey Gould. All this while the engagement by
letter was maintained intact.
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At this point of time a golden radiance flashed in upon the lives of people here, and charged all youthful
thought with emotional interest. This radiance was the aforesaid York Hussars.
II
The present generation has probably but a very dim notion of the celebrated York Hussars of ninety years
ago. They were one of the regiments of the King's German Legion, and (though they somewhat degenerated
later on) their brilliant uniform, their splendid horses, and above all, their foreign air and mustachios (rare
appendages then), drew crowds of admirers of both sexes wherever they went. These with other regiments
had come to encamp on the downs and pastures, because of the presence of the King in the neighbouring
town.
The spot was high and airy, and the view extensive, commanding Portland the Isle of Slingers in front,
and reaching to St. Aldhelm's Head eastward, and almost to the Start on the west.
Phyllis, though not precisely a girl of the village, was as interested as any of them in this military investment.
Her father's home stood somewhat apart, and on the highest point of ground to which the lane ascended, so
that it was almost level with the top of the church tower in the lower part of the parish. Immediately from the
outside of the gardenwall the grass spread away to a great distance, and it was crossed by a path which came
close to the wall. Ever since her childhood it had been Phyllis's pleasure to clamber up this fence and sit on
the top a feat not so difficult as it may seem, the walls in this district being built of rubble, without mortar,
so that there were plenty of crevices for small toes.
She was sitting up here one day, listlessly surveying the pasture without, when her attention was arrested by a
solitary figure walking along the path. It was one of the renowned German Hussars, and he moved onward
with his eyes on the ground, and with the manner of one who wished to escape company. His head would
probably have been bent like his eyes but for his stiff neckgear. On nearer view she perceived that his face
was marked with deep sadness. Without observing her, he advanced by the footpath till it brought him almost
immediately under the wall.
Phyllis was much surprised to see a fine, tall soldier in such a mood as this. Her theory of the military, and of
the York Hussars in particular (derived entirely from hearsay, for she had never talked to a soldier in her life),
was that their hearts were as gay as their accoutrements.
At this moment the Hussar lifted his eyes and noticed her on her perch, the white muslin neckerchief which
covered her shoulders and neck where left bare by her low gown, and her white raiment in general, showing
conspicuously in the bright sunlight of this summer day. He blushed a little at the suddenness of the
encounter, and without halting a moment from his pace passed on.
All that day the foreigner's face haunted Phyllis; its aspect was so striking, so handsome, and his eyes were so
blue, and sad, and abstracted. It was perhaps only natural that on some following day at the same hour she
should look over that wall again, and wait till he had passed a second time. On this occasion he was reading a
letter, and at the sight of her his manner was that of one who had half expected or hoped to discover her. He
almost stopped, smiled, and made a courteous salute. The end of the meeting was that they exchanged a few
words. She asked him what he was reading, and he readily informed her that he was reperusing letters from
his mother in Germany; he did not get them often, he said, and was forced to read the old ones a great many
times. This was all that passed at the present interview, but others of the same kind followed.
Phyllis used to say this his English, though not good, was quite intelligible to her, so that their acquaintance
was never hindered by difficulties of speech. Whenever the subject became too delicate, subtle, or tender, for
such words of English as were at his command, the eyes no doubt helped out the tongue, and though this
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was later on the lips helped out the eyes. In short this acquaintance unguardedly made, and rash enough
on her part, developed and ripened. Like Desdemona, she pitied him, and learnt his history.
His name was Matthäus Tina, and Saarbrück his native town, where his mother was still living. His age was
twentytwo, and he had already risen to the grade of corporal, though he had not long been in the army.
Phyllis used to assert that no such refined or welleducated young man could have been found in the ranks of
the purely English regiments, some of these foreign soldiers having rather the graceful manner and presence
of our native officers than of our rank and file.
She by degrees learnt from her foreign friend a circumstance about himself and his comrades which Phyllis
would least have expected of the York Hussars. So far from being as gay as its uniform, the regiment was
pervaded by a dreadful melancholy, a chronic homesickness, which depressed many of the men to such an
extent that they could hardly attend to their drill. The worst sufferers were the younger soldiers who had not
been over here long. They hated England and English life; they took no interest whatever in King George and
his island kingdom, and they only wished to be out of it and never see it any more. Their bodies were here,
but their hearts and minds were always far away in their dear fatherland, of which brave men and stoical
as they were in many ways they would speak with tears in their eyes. One of the worst of the sufferers
from the homewoe, as he called it in his own tongue, was Matthäus Tina, whose dreamy musing nature felt
the gloom of exile still more intensely from the fact that he had left a lonely mother at home with nobody to
cheer her.
Though Phyllis, touched by all this, and interested in his history, did not disdain her soldier's acquaintance,
she declined (according to her own account, at least) to permit the young man to overstep the line of mere
friendship for a long while as long, indeed, as she considered herself likely to become the possession of
another; though it is probable that she lost her heart to Matthäus before she was herself aware. The stone wall
of necessity made anything like intimacy difficult; and he had never ventured to come, or to ask to come,
inside the garden, so that all their conversation had been overtly conducted across this boundary.
III
But news reached the village from a friend of Phyllis's father concerning Mr. Humphrey Gould, her
remarkably cool and patient betrothed. This gentleman had been heard to say in Bath that he considered his
overtures to Miss Phyllis Grove to have reached only the stage of a halfunderstanding; and in view of his
enforced absence on his father's account, who was too great an invalid now to attend to his affairs, he thought
it best that there should be no definite promise as yet on either side. He was not sure, indeed, that he might
not cast his eyes elsewhere.
This account though only a piece of hearsay, and as such entitled to no absolute credit tallied so well
with the infrequency of his letters and their lack of warmth, that Phyllis did not doubt its truth for one
moment; and from that hour she felt herself free to bestow her heart as she should choose. Not so her father;
he declared the whole story to be a fabrication. He had known Mr. Gould's family from his boyhood; and if
there was one proverb which expressed the matrimonial aspect of that family well, it was "Love me little,
love me long." Humphrey was an honourable man, who would not think of treating his engagement so
lightly. "Do you wait in patience," he said; "all will be right enough in time."
From these words Phyllis at first imagined that her father was in correspondence with Mr. Gould; and her
heart sank within her; for in spite of her original intentions she had been relieved to hear that her engagement
had come to nothing. But she presently learnt that her father had heard no more of Humphrey Gould than she
herself had done; while he would not write and address her affianced directly on the subject, lest it should be
deemed an imputation on that bachelor's honour.
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"You want an excuse for encouraging one or other of those foreign fellows to flatter you with his unmeaning
attentions," her father exclaimed, his mood having of late been a very unkind one towards her. "I see more
than I say. Don't you ever set foot outside that gardenfence without my permission. If you want to see the
camp I'll take you myself some Sunday afternoon."
Phyllis had not the smallest intention of disobeying him with her actions, but she assumed herself to be
independent with respect to her feelings. She no longer checked her fancy for the Hussar, though she was far
from regarding him as her lover in the serious sense in which an Englishman might have been regarded as
such. The young foreign soldier was almost an ideal being to her, with none of the appurtenances of an
ordinary housedweller; one who had descended she knew not whence, and would disappear she knew not
whither; the subject of a fascinating dream no more.
They met continually now mostly at dusk during the brief interval between the going down of the sun
and the minute at which the last trumpetcall summoned him to his tent. Perhaps her manner had become less
restrained latterly; at any rate that of the Hussar was so; he had grown more tender every day, and at parting
after these hurried interviews she reached down her hand from the top of the wall that he might press it. One
evening he held it such a while that she exclaimed, "The wall is white, and somebody in the field may see
your shape against it!"
He lingered so long that night that it was with the greatest difficulty that he could run across the intervening
stretch of ground and enter the camp in time. On the next occasion of his awaiting her she did not appear in
her usual place at the usual hour. His disappointment was unspeakably keen; he remained staring blankly at
the spot, like a man in a trance. The trumpets and tattoo sounded, and still he did not go.
She had been delayed purely by an accident. When she arrived she was anxious because of the lateness of the
hour, having heard as well as he the sounds denoting the closing of the camp. She implored him to leave
immediately.
"No," he said gloomily. "I shall not go in yet the moment you come I have thought of your coming all
day."
"But you may be disgraced at being after time?"
"I don't mind that. I should have disappeared from the world some time ago if it had not been for two persons
my beloved, here, and my mother in Saarbrück. I hate the army. I care more for a minute of your company
than for all the promotion in the world."
Thus he stayed and talked to her, and told her interesting details of his native place, and incidents of his
childhood, till she was in a simmer of distress at his recklessness in remaining. It was only because she
insisted on bidding him goodnight and leaving the wall that he returned to his quarters.
The next time that she saw him he was without the stripes that had adorned his sleeve. He had been broken to
the level of private for his lateness that night; and as Phyllis considered herself to be the cause of his disgrace
her sorrow was great. But the position was now reversed; it was his turn to cheer her.
"Don't grieve, meine Liebliche!" he said. "I have got a remedy for whatever comes. First, even supposing I
regain my stripes, would your father allow you to marry a noncommissioned officer in the York Hussars?"
She flushed. This practical step had not been in her mind in relation to such an unrealistic person as he was;
and a moment's reflection was enough for it. "My father would not certainly would not," she answered
unflinchingly. "It cannot be thought of! My dear friend, please do forget me: I fear I am ruining you and your
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prospects!"
"Not at all!" said he. "You are giving this country of yours just sufficient interest to me to make me care to
keep alive in it. If my dear land were here also, and my old parent, with you, I could be happy as I am, and
would do my best as a soldier. But it is not so. And now listen. This is my plan. That you go with me to my
own country, and be my wife there, and live there with my mother and me. I am not a Hanoverian, as you
know, though I entered the army as such; my country is by the Saar, and is at peace with France, and if I were
once in it I should be free."
"But how get there?" she asked. Phyllis had been rather amazed than shocked at his proposition. Her position
in her father's house was growing irksome and painful in the extreme; his parental affection seemed to be
quite dried up. She was not a native of the village, like all the joyous girls around her; and in some way
Matthäus Tina had infected her with his own passionate longing for his country, and mother, and home.
"But how?" she repeated, finding that he did not answer. "Will you buy your discharge?"
"Ah, no," he said. "That's impossible in these times. No; I came here against my will; why should I not
escape? Now is the time, as we shall soon be striking camp, and I might see you no more. This is my scheme.
I will ask you to meet me on the highway two miles off, on some calm night next week that may be
appointed. There will be nothing unbecoming in it, or to cause you shame; you will not fly alone with me, for
I will bring with me my devoted young friend Christoph, an Alsatian, who has lately joined the regiment, and
who has agreed to assist in this enterprise. We shall have come from yonder harbour, where we shall have
examined the boats, and found one suited to our purpose. Christoph has already a chart of the Channel, and
we will then go to the harbour, and at midnight cut the boat from her moorings, and row away round the point
out of sight; and by the next morning we are on the coast of France, near Cherbourg. The rest is easy, for I
have saved money for the land journey, and can get a change of clothes. I will write to my mother, who will
meet us on the way."
He added details in reply to her inquiries, which left no doubt in Phyllis's mind of the feasibility of the
undertaking. But its magnitude almost appalled her; and it is questionable if she would ever have gone further
in the wild adventure if, on entering the house that night, her father had not accosted her in the most
significant terms.
"How about the York Hussars?" he said.
"They are still at the camp; but they are soon going away, I believe."
"It is useless for you at attempt to cloak your actions in that way. You have been meeting one of those
fellows; you have been seen walking with him foreign barbarians, not much better than the French
themselves! I have made up my mind don't speak a word till I have done, please! I have made up my
mind that you shall stay here no longer while they are on the spot. You shall go to your aunt's."
It was useless for her to protest that she had never taken a walk with any soldier or man under the sun except
himself. Her protestations were feeble, too, for though he was not literally correct in his assertion, he was
virtually only half in error.
The house of her father's sister was a prison to Phyllis. She had quite recently undergone experience of its
gloom; and when her father went on to direct her to pack what would be necessary for her to take, her heart
died within her. In after years she never attempted to excuse her conduct during this week of agitation; but
the result of her selfcommuning was that she decided to join in the scheme of her lover and his friend, and
fly to the country which he had coloured with such lovely hues in her imagination. She always said that the
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one feature in his proposal which overcame her hesitation was the obvious purity and straightforwardness of
his intentions. He showed himself to be so virtuous and kind; he treated her with a respect to which she had
never before been accustomed; and she was braced to the obvious risks of the voyage by her confidence in
him.
IV
It was on a soft, dark evening of the following week that they engaged in the adventure. Tina was to meet her
at a point in the highway at which the lane to the village branched off. Christoph was to go ahead of them to
the harbour where the boat lay, row it round the Nothe or Lookout as it was called in those days and
pick them up on the other side of the promontory, which they were to reach by crossing the harbourbridge
on foot, and climbing over the Lookout hill.
As soon as her father had ascended to his room she left the house, and, bundle in hand, proceeded at a trot
along the lane. At such an hour not a soul was afoot anywhere in the village, and she reached the junction of
the lane with the highway unobserved. Here she took up her position in the obscurity formed by the angle of a
fence, whence she could discern every one who approached along the turnpikeroad, without being herself
seen.
She had not remained thus waiting for her lover longer than a minute though from the tension of her
nerves the lapse of even that short time was trying when, instead of the expected footsteps, the
stagecoach could be heard descending the hill. She knew that Tina would not show himself till the road was
clear, and waited impatiently for the coach to pass. Nearing the corner where she was it slackened speed, and,
instead of going by as usual, drew up within a few yards of her. A passenger alighted, and she heard his
voice. It was Humphrey Gould's.
He had brought a friend with him, and luggage. The luggage was deposited on the grass, and the coach went
on its route to the royal wateringplace.
"I wonder where that young man is with the horse and trap?" said her former admirer to his companion. "I
hope we shan't have to wait here long. I told him halfpast nine o'clock precisely."
"Have you got her present safe?"
"Phyllis's? O, yes. It is in this trunk. I hope it will please her."
"Of course it will. What woman would not be pleased with such a handsome peaceoffering?"
"Well she deserves it. I've treated her rather badly. But she has been in my mind these last two days much
more than I should care to confess to everybody. Ah, well; I'll say no more about that. It cannot be that she is
so bad as they make out. I am quite sure that a girl of her good wit would know better than to get entangled
with any of those Hanoverian soldiers. I won't believe it of her, and there's an end on't."
More words in the same strain were casually dropped as the two men waited; words which revealed to her, as
by a sudden illumination, the enormity of her conduct. The conversation was at length cut off by the arrival of
the man with the vehicle. The luggage was placed in it, and they mounted, and were driven on in the direction
from which she had just come.
Phyllis was so consciousstricken that she was at first inclined to follow them; but a moment's reflection led
her to feel that it would only be a bare justice to Matthäus to wait till he arrived, and explain candidly that she
had changed her mind difficult as the struggle would be when she stood face to face with him. She bitterly
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reproached herself for having believed reports which represented Humphrey Gould as false to his
engagement, when, from what she now heard from his own lips, she gathered that he had been living full of
trust in her. But she knew well enough who had won her love. Without him her life seemed a dreary prospect,
yet the more she looked at his proposal the more she feared to accept it so wild as it was, so vague, so
venturesome. She had promised Humphrey Gould, and it was only his assumed faithlessness which had led
her to retreat that promise as nought. His solicitude in bringing her these gifts touched her; her promise must
be kept, and esteem must take the place of love. She would preserve her selfrespect. She would stay at
home, and marry him, and suffer.
Phyllis had thus braced herself to an exceptional fortitude when, a few minutes later, the outline of Matthäus
Tina appeared behind a fieldgate, over which he lightly leapt as she stepped forward. There was no evading
it, he pressed her to his breast.
"It is the first and last time!" she wildly thought as she stood encircled by his arms.
How Phyllis got through the terrible ordeal of that night she could never clearly recollect. She always
attributed her success in carrying out her resolve to her lover's honour, for as soon as she declared to him in
feeble words that she had changed her mind, and felt that she could not, dared not, fly with him, he forbore to
urge her, grieved as he was at her decision. Unscrupulous pressure on his part, seeing how romantically she
had become attached to him, would no doubt have turned the balance in his favour. But he did nothing to
tempt her unduly or unfairly.
On her side, fearing for his safety, she begged him to remain. This, he declared, could not be. "I cannot break
faith with my friend," said he. Had he stood alone he would have abandoned his plan. But Christoph, with the
boat and compass and chart, was waiting on the shore; the tide would soon turn; his mother had been warned
of his coming; go he must.
Many precious minutes were lost while he tarried, unable to tear himself away, Phyllis held to her resolve,
though it cost her many a bitter pang. At last they parted, and he went down the hill. Before his footsteps had
quite died away she felt a desire to behold at least his outline once more, and running noiselessly after him
regained view of his diminishing figure. For one moment she was sufficiently excited to be on the point of
rushing forward and linking her fate with his. But she could not. The courage which at the critical instant
failed Cleopatra of Egypt could scarcely be expected of Phyllis Grove.
A dark shape, similar to his own, joined him in the highway. It was Christoph, his friend. She could see no
more; they had hastened on in the direction of the town and harbour, four miles ahead. With a feeling akin to
despair she turned and slowly pursued her way homeward.
Tattoo sounded in the camp; but there was no camp for her now. It was as dead as the camp of the Assyrians
after the passage of the Destroying Angel.
She noiselessly entered the house, seeing nobody, and went to bed. Grief, which kept her awake at first,
ultimately wrapped her in a heavy sleep. The next morning her father met her at the foot of the stairs.
"Mr. Gould has come!" he said triumphantly.
Humphrey was staying at the inn, and had already called to inquire for her. He had brought her a present of a
very handsome lookingglass in a frame of repoussé silverwork, which her father held in his hand. He had
promised to call again in the course of an hour, to ask Phyllis to walk with him.
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Pretty mirrors were rarer in countryhouses at that day than they are now, and the one before her won
Phyllis's admiration. She looked into it, saw how heavy her eyes were, and endeavoured to brighten them.
She was in that wretched state of mind which leads a woman to move mechanically onward in what she
conceives to be her allotted path. Mr. Humphrey had, in his undemonstrative way, been adhering all along to
the old understanding; it was for her to do the same, and to say not a word of her own lapse. She put on her
bonnet and tippet, and when he arrived at the hour named she was at the door awaiting him.
V
Phyllis thanked him for his beautiful gift; but the talking was soon entirely on Humphrey's side as they
walked along. He told her of the latest movements of the world of fashion a subject which she willingly
discussed to the exclusion of anything more personal and his measured language helped to still her
disquieted heart and brain. Had not her own sadness been what it was she must have observed his
embarrassment. At last he abruptly changed the subject.
"I am glad you are pleased with my little present," he said. "The truth is that I brought it to propitiate 'ee, and
to get you to help me out of a mighty difficulty."
It was inconceivable to Phyllis that this independent bachelor whom she admired in some respects
could have a difficulty.
"Phyllis I'll tell you my secret at once; for I have a monstrous secret to confide before I can ask your
counsel. The case is, then, that I am married: yes, I have privately married a dear young belle; and if you
knew her, and I hope you will, you would say everything in her praise. But she is not quite the one that my
father would have chose for me you know the paternal idea as well as I and I have kept it secret. There
will be a terrible noise, no doubt; but I think that with your help I may get over it. If you would only do me
this good turn when I have told my father, I mean say that you never could have married me, you
know, or something of that sort 'pon my life it will help to smooth the way vastly. I am so anxious to win
him round to my point of view, and not to cause any estrangement."
What Phyllis replied she scarcely knew, or how she counselled him as to his unexpected situation. Yet the
relief that his announcement brought her was perceptible. To have confided her trouble in return was what
her aching heart longed to do; and had Humphrey been a woman she would instantly have poured out her
tale. But to him she feared to confess; and there was a real reason for silence, till a sufficient time had elapsed
to allow her lover and his comrade to get out of harm's way.
As soon as she reached home again she sought a solitary place, and spent the time in half regretting that she
had not gone away, and in dreaming over the meetings with Matthäus Tina from their beginning to their end.
In his own country, amongst his own countrywomen, he would possible soon forget her, even to her very
name.
Her listlessness was such that she did not go out of the house for several days. There came a morning which
broke in fog and mist, behind which the dawn could be discerned in greenish grey; and the outlines of the
tents, and the rows of horses at the ropes. The smoke from the canteen fires drooped heavily.
The spot at the bottom of the garden where she had been accustomed to climb the wall to meet Matthäus, was
the only inch of English ground in which she took any interest; and in spite of the disagreeable haze
prevailing she walked out there till she reached the wellknown corner. Every blade of grass was weighted
with little liquid globes, and slugs and snails had crept out upon the plots. She could hear the usual faint
noises from the camp, and in the other direction the trot of farmers on the road to the town, for it was
marketday. She observed that her frequent visits to this corner had quite trodden down the grass in the angle
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of the wall, and left marks of garden soil on the steppingstones by which she had mounted to look over the
top. Seldom having gone there till dusk, she had not considered that her traces might be visible by day.
Perhaps it was these which had revealed her trysts to her father.
While she paused in melancholy regard, she fancied that the customary sounds from the tents were changing
their character. Indifferent as Phyllis was to camp doings now, she mounted by the steps to the old place.
What she beheld at first awed and perplexed her; then she stood rigid, her fingers hooked to the wall, her eyes
staring out of her head, and her face as if hardened to stone.
On the open green stretching before her all the regiments in the camp were drawn up in line, in the midfront
of which two empty coffins lay on the ground. The unwonted sounds which she had noticed came from an
advancing procession. It consisted of the band of the York Hussars playing a dead march; next two soldiers of
that regiment in a mourning coach, guarded on each side, and accompanied by two priests. Behind came a
crowd of rustics who had been attracted by the event. The melancholy procession marched along the front of
the line, returned to the centre, and halted beside the coffins, where the two condemned men were
blindfolded, and each placed kneeling on his coffin; a few minutes' pause was now given, while they prayed.
A firingparty of twentyfour men stood ready with levelled carbines. The commanding officer, who had his
sword drawn, waved it through some cuts of the swordexercise till he reached the downward stroke, whereat
the firing party discharged their volley. The two victims fell, one upon his face across his coffin, the other
backwards.
As the volley resounded there arose a shriek from the wall of Dr. Grove's garden, and some one fell down
inside; but nobody among the spectators without noticed it at the time. The two executed Hussars were
Matthäus Tina and his friend Christoph. The soldiers on guard placed the bodies in the coffins almost
instantly; but the colonel of the regiment, an Englishman, rode up and exclaimed in a stern voice: "Turn them
out as an example to the men!"
The coffins were lifted endwise, and the dead Germans flung out upon their faces on the grass. Then all the
regiments wheeled in sections, and marched past the spot in slow time. When the survey was over the corpses
were again coffined, and borne away.
Meanwhile Dr. Grove, attracted by the noise of the volley, had rushed out into his garden, where he saw his
wretched daughter lying motionless against the wall. She was taken indoors, but it was long before she
recovered consciousness; and for weeks they despaired of her reason.
It transpired that the luckless deserters from the York Hussars had cut the boat from her moorings in the
adjacent harbour, according to their plan, and, with two other comrades who were smarting under
illtreatment from their colonel, had sailed in safety across the Channel. But mistaking their bearings they
steered into Jersey, thinking that island the French coast. Here they were perceived to be deserters, and
delivered up to the authorities. Matthäus and Christoph interceded for the other two at the courtmartial,
saying that it was entirely by the former's representations that these were induced to go. Their sentence was
accordingly commuted to flogging, the death punishment being reserved for their leaders.
The visitor to the wellknown old Georgian wateringplace, who may care to ramble to the neighbouring
village under the hills, and examine the register of burials, will there find two entries in these words:
"Matth: Tina (Corpl.) in His Majesty's Regmt. of York Hussars, and Shot for Desertion, was
Buried June 30th, 1801, aged 22 years. Born in the town of Sarrbruk, Germany.
"Christoph Bless, belonging to His Majesty's Regmt. of York Hussars, who was Shot for
Desertion, was Buried June 30th, 1801, aged 22 years. Born at Lothaargen, Alsatia."
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Their graves were dug at the back of the little church, near the wall. There is no memorial to mark the spot,
but Phyllis pointed it out to me. While she lived she used to keep their mounds neat; but now they are
overgrown with nettles, and sunk nearly flat. The older villagers, however, who know of the episode from
their parents, still recollect the place where the soldiers lie. Phyllis lies near.
THE THREE STRANGERS
AMONG the few features of agricultural England which retain an appearance but little modified by the
lapse of centuries, may be reckoned the high, grassy and furzy downs, coombs, or eweleases, as they are
indifferently called, that fill a large area of certain counties in the south and southwest. If any mark of
human occupation is met with hereon, it usually takes the form of the solitary cottage of some shepherd.
Fifty years ago such a lonely cottage stood on such a down, and may possibly be standing there now. In spite
of its loneliness, however, the spot, by actual measurement, was not more than five miles from a
countytown. Yet that affected it little. Five miles of irregular upland, during the long inimical seasons, with
their sleets, snows, rains, and mists, afford withdrawing space enough to isolate a Timon or a
Nebuchadnezzar; much less, in fair weather, to please that less repellent tribe, the poets, philosophers, artists,
and others who 'conceive and meditate of pleasant things.'
Some old earthen camp or barrow, some clump of trees, at least some starved fragment of ancient hedge is
usually taken advantage of in the erection of these forlorn dwellings. But, in the present case, such a kind of
shelter had been disregarded. Higher Crowstairs, as the house was called, stood quite detached and
undefended. The only reason for its precise situation seemed to be the crossing of two footpaths at right
angles hard by, which may have crossed there and thus for a good five hundred years. Hence the house was
exposed to the elements on all sides. But, though the wind up here blew unmistakably when it did blow, and
the rain hit hard whenever it fell, the various weathers of the winter season were not quite so formidable on
the coomb as they were imagined to be by dwellers on low ground. The raw rimes were not so pernicious as
in the hollows, and the frosts were scarcely so severe. When the shepherd and his family who tenanted the
house were pitied for their sufferings from the exposure, they said that upon the whole they were less
inconvenienced by 'wuzzes and flames' (hoarses and phlegms) than when they had lived by the stream of a
snug neighbouring valley.
The night of March 28, 182, was precisely one of the nights that were wont to call forth these expressions of
commiseration. The level rainstorm smote walls, slopes, and hedges like the clothyard shafts of Senlac and
Crecy. Such sheep and outdoor animals as had no shelter stood with their buttocks to the winds; while the
tails of little birds trying to roost on some scraggy thorn were blown insideout like umbrellas. The
gableend of the cottage was stained with wet, and the eavesdroppings flapped against the wall. Yet never
was commiseration for the shepherd more misplaced. For that cheerful rustic was entertaining a large party in
glorification of the christening of his second girl.
The guests had arrived before the rain began to fall, and they were all now assembled in the chief or living
room of the dwelling. A glance into the apartment at eight o'clock on this eventful evening would have
resulted in the opinion that it was as cosy and comfortable a nook as could be wished for in boisterous
weather. The calling of its inhabitant was proclaimed by a number of highlypolished sheepcrooks without
stems that were hung ornamentally over the fireplace, the curl of each shining crook varying from the
antiquated type engraved in the patriarchal pictures of old family Bibles to the most approved fashion of the
last local sheepfair. The room was lighted by halfadozen candles, having wicks only a trifle smaller than
the grease which enveloped them, in candlesticks that were never used but at highdays, holydays, and
family feasts. The lights were scattered about the room, two of them standing on the chimneypiece. This
position of candles was in itself significant. Candles on the chimneypiece always meant a party.
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On the hearth, in front of a backbrand to give substance, blazed a fire of thorns, that crackled 'like the
laughter of the fool.'
Nineteen persons were gathered here. Of these, five women, wearing gowns of various bright hues, sat in
chairs along the wall; girls shy and not shy filled the windowbench; four men, including Charley Jake the
hedgecarpenter, Elijah New the parishclerk, and John Pitcher, a neighbouring dairyman, the shepherd's
fatherinlaw, lolled in the settle; a young man and maid, who were blushing over tentative pourparlers on a
lifecompanionship, sat beneath the cornercupboard; and an elderly engaged man of fifty or upward moved
restlessly about from spots where his betrothed was not to the spot where she was. Enjoyment was pretty
general, and so much the more prevailed in being unhampered by conventional restrictions. Absolute
confidence in each other's good opinion begat perfect ease, while the finishing stroke of manner, amounting
to a truly princely serenity, was lent to the majority by the absence of any expression or trait denoting that
they wished to get on in the world, enlarge their minds, or do any eclipsing thing whateverwhich
nowadays so generally nips the bloom and bonhomie of all except the two extremes of the social scale.
Shepherd Fennel had married well, his wife being a dairyman's daughter from a vale at a distance, who
brought fifty guineas in her pocketand kept them there, till they should be required for ministering to the
needs of a coming family. This frugal woman had been somewhat exercised as to the character that should be
given to the gathering. A sitstill party had its advantages; but an undisturbed position of ease in chairs and
settles was apt to lead on the men to such an unconscionable deal of toping that they would sometimes fairly
drink the house dry. A dancingparty was the alternative; but this, while avoiding the foregoing objection on
the score of good drink, had a counterbalancing disadvantage in the matter of good victuals, the ravenous
appetites engendered by the exercise causing immense havoc in the buttery. Shepherdess Fennel fell back
upon the intermediate plan of mingling short dances with short periods of talk and singing, so as to hinder
any ungovernable rage in either. But this scheme was entirely confined to her own gentle mind: the shepherd
himself was in the mood to exhibit the most reckless phases of hospitality.
The fiddler was a boy of those parts, about twelve years of age, who had a wonderful dexterity in jigs and
reels, though his fingers were so small and short as to necessitate a constant shifting for the high notes, from
which he scrambled back to the first position with sounds not of unmixed purity of tone. At seven the shrill
tweedledee of this youngster had begun, accompanied by a booming groundbass from Elijah New, the
parishclerk, who had thoughtfully brought with him his favourite musical instrument, the serpent. Dancing
was instantaneous, Mrs. Fennel privately enjoining the players on no account to let the dance exceed the
length of a quarter of an hour.
But Elijah and the boy, in the excitement of their position, quite forgot the injunction. Moreover, Oliver
Giles, a man of seventeen, one of the dancers, who was enamoured of his partner, a fair girl of thirtythree
rolling years, had recklessly handed a new crownpiece to the musicians, as a bribe to keep going as long as
they had muscle and wind. Mrs. Fennel, seeing the steam begin to generate on the countenances of her guests,
crossed over and touched the fiddler's elbow and put her hand on the serpent's mouth. But they took no
notice, and fearing she might lose her character of genial hostess if she were to interfere too markedly, she
retired and sat down helpless. And so the dance whizzed on with cumulative fury, the performers moving in
their planetlike courses, direct and retrograde, from apogee to perigee, till the hand of the wellkicked clock
at the bottom of the room had travelled over the circumference of an hour.
While these cheerful events were in course of enactment within Fennel's pastoral dwelling, an incident having
considerable bearing on the party had occurred in the gloomy night without. Mrs. Fennel's concern about the
growing fierceness of the dance corresponded in point of time with the ascent of a human figure to the
solitary hill of Higher Crowstairs from the direction of the distant town. This personage strode on through the
rain without a pause, following the littleworn path which, further on in its course, skirted the shepherd's
cottage.
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It was nearly the time of full moon, and on this account, though the sky was lined with a uniform sheet of
dripping cloud, ordinary objects out of doors were readily visible. The sad wan light revealed the lonely
pedestrian to be a man of supple frame; his gait suggested that he had somewhat passed the period of perfect
and instinctive agility, though not so far as to be otherwise than rapid of motion when occasion required. At a
rough guess, he might have been about forty years of age. He appeared tall, but a recruiting sergeant, or other
person accustomed to the judging of men's heights by the eye, would have discerned that this was chiefly
owing to his gauntness, and that he was not more than fivefeeteight or nine.
Notwithstanding the regularity of his tread, there was caution in it, as in that of one who mentally feels his
way; and despite the fact that it was not a black coat nor a dark garment of any sort that he wore, there was
something about him which suggested that he naturally belonged to the blackcoated tribes of men. His
clothes were of fustian, and his boots hobnailed, yet in his progress he showed not the mudaccustomed
bearing of hobnailed and fustianed peasantry.
By the time that he had arrived abreast of the shepherd's premises the rain came down, or rather came along,
with yet more determined violence. The outskirts of the little settlement partially broke the force of wind and
rain, and this induced him to stand still. The most salient of the shepherd's domestic erections was an empty
sty at the forward corner of his hedgeless garden, for in these latitudes the principle of masking the homelier
features of your establishment by a conventional frontage was unknown. The traveller's eye was attracted to
this small building by the pallid shine of the wet slates that covered it. He turned aside, and, finding it empty,
stood under the pentroof for shelter.
While he stood, the boom of the serpent within the adjacent house, and the lesser strains of the fiddler,
reached the spot as an accompaniment to the surging hiss of the flying rain on the sod, its louder beating on
the cabbageleaves of the garden, on the eight or ten beehives just discernible by the path, and its dripping
from the eaves into a row of buckets and pans that had been placed under the walls of the cottage. For at
Higher Crowstairs, as at all such elevated domiciles, the grand difficulty of housekeeping was an
insufficiency of water; and a casual rainfall was utilized by turning out, as catchers, every utensil that the
house contained. Some queer stories might be told of the contrivances for economy in suds and dishwaters
that are absolutely necessitated in upland habitations during the droughts of summer. But at this season there
were no such exigencies; a mere acceptance of what the skies bestowed was sufficient for an abundant store.
At last the notes of the serpent ceased and the house was silent. This cessation of activity aroused the solitary
pedestrian from the reverie into which he had lapsed, and, emerging from the shed, with an apparently new
intention, he walked up the path to the housedoor. Arrived here, his first act was to kneel down on a large
stone beside the row of vessels, and to drink a copious draught from one of them. Having quenched his thirst
he rose and lifted his hand to knock, but paused with his eye upon the panel. Since the dark surface of the
wood revealed absolutely nothing, it was evident that he must be mentally looking through the door, as if he
wished to measure thereby all the possibilities that a house of this sort might include, and how they might
bear upon the question of his entry.
In his indecision he turned and surveyed the scene around. Not a soul was anywhere visible. The gardenpath
stretched downward from his feet, gleaming like the track of a snail the roof of the little well (mostly dry), the
wellcover, the top rail of the gardengate, were varnished with the same dull liquid glaze; while, far away in
the vale, a faint whiteness of more than usual extent showed that the rivers were high in the meads. Beyond
all this winked a few bleared lamplights through the beating dropslights that denoted the situation of the
countytown from which he had appeared to come. The absence of all notes of life in that direction seemed
to clinch his intentions, and he knocked at the door.
Within, a desultory chat had taken the place of movement and musical sound. The hedgecarpenter was
suggesting a song to the company, which nobody just then was inclined to undertake, so that the knock
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afforded a not unwelcome diversion.
'Walk in!' said the shepherd promptly.
The latch clicked upward, and out of the night our pedestrian appeared upon the doormat. The shepherd
arose, snuffed two of the nearest candles, and turned to look at him.
Their light disclosed that the stranger was dark in complexion and not unprepossessing as to feature. His hat,
which for a moment he did not remove, hung low over his eyes, without concealing that they were large,
open, and determined, moving with a flash rather than a glance round the room. He seemed pleased with his
survey, and, baring his shaggy head, said, in a rich deep voice, 'The rain is so heavy, friends, that I ask leave
to come in and rest awhile.'
'To be sure, stranger,' said the shepherd. 'And faith, you've been lucky in choosing your time, for we are
having a bit of a fling for a glad causethough, to be sure, a man could hardly wish that glad cause to
happen more than once a year.'
'Nor less,' spoke up a woman. 'For 'tis best to get your family over and done with, as soon as you can, so as to
be all the earlier out of the fag o't.'
'And what may be this glad cause?' asked the stranger.
'A birth and christening,' said the shepherd.
The stranger hoped his host might not be made unhappy either by too many or too few of such episodes, and
being invited by a gesture to a pull at the mug, he readily acquiesced. His manner, which, before entering,
had been so dubious, was now altogether that of a careless and candid man.
'Late to be traipsing athwart this coombhey?' said the engaged man of fifty.
'Late it is, master, as you say.I'll take a seat in the chimneycorner, if you have nothing to urge against it,
ma'am; for I am a little moist on the side that was next the rain.'
Mrs. Shepherd Fennel assented, and made room for the selfinvited comer, who, having got completely
inside the chimneycorner, stretched out his legs and his arms with the expansiveness of a person quite at
home.
'Yes, I am rather cracked in the vamp,' he said freely, seeing that the eyes of the shepherd's wife fell upon his
boots, 'and I am not well fitted either. I have had some rough times lately, and have been forced to pick up
what I can get in the way of wearing, but I must find a suit better fit for workingdays when I reach home.'
'One of hereabouts?' she inquired.
'Not quite thatfurther up the country.'
'I thought so. And so be I; and by your tongue you come from my neighbourhood.'
'But you would hardly have heard of me,' he said quickly. 'My time would be long before yours, ma'am, you
see.'
This testimony to the youthfulness of his hostess had the effect of stopping her crossexamination.
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'There is only one thing more wanted to make me happy,' continued the newcomer. 'And that is a little
baccy, which I am sorry to say I am out of.'
'I'll fill your pipe,' said the shepherd.
'I must ask you to lend me a pipe likewise.'
'A smoker, and no pipe about 'ee?'
'I have dropped it somewhere on the road.'
The shepherd filled and handed him a new clay pipe, saying, as he did so, 'Hand me your baccyboxI'll fill
that too, now I am about it.'
The man went through the movement of searching his pockets.
'Lost that too? ' said his entertainer, with some surprise.
'I am afraid so,' said the man with some confusion. 'Give it to me in a screw of paper.' Lighting his pipe at the
candle with a suction that drew the whole flame into the bowl, he resettled himself in the corner and bent his
looks upon the faint steam from his damp legs, as if he wished to say no more.
Meanwhile the general body of guests had been taking little notice of this visitor by reason of an absorbing
discussion in which they were engaged with the band about a tune for the next dance. The matter being
settled, they were about to stand up when an interruption came in the shape of another knock at the door.
At sound of the same the man in the chimneycorner took up the poker and began stirring the brands as if
doing it thoroughly were the one aim of his existence; and a second time the shepherd said, 'Walk in!' In a
moment another man stood upon the strawwoven doormat. He too was a stranger.
This individual was one of a type radically different from the first. There was more of the commonplace in
his manner, and a certain jovial cosmopolitanism sat upon his features. He was several years older than the
first arrival, his hair being slightly frosted, his eyebrows bristly, and his whiskers cut back from his cheeks.
His face was rather full and flabby, and yet it was not altogether a face without power. A few grogblossoms
marked the neighbourhood of his nose. He flung back his long drab greatcoat, revealing that beneath it he
wore a suit of cindergray shade throughout, large heavy seals, of some metal or other that would take a
polish, dangling from his fob as his only personal ornament. Shaking the waterdrops from his lowcrowned
glazed hat, he said, 'I must ask for a few minutes' shelter, comrades, or I shall be wetted to my skin before I
get to Casterbridge.'
'Make yourself at home, master,' said the shepherd, perhaps a trifle less heartily than on the first occasion.
Not that Fennel had the least tinge of niggardliness in his composition; but the room was far from large, spare
chairs were not numerous, and damp companions were not altogether desirable at close quarters for the
women and girls in their brightcoloured gowns.
However, the second comer, after taking off his greatcoat, and hanging his hat on a nail in one of the
ceilingbeams as if he had been specially invited to put it there, advanced and sat down at the table. This had
been pushed so closely into the chimneycorner, to give all available room to the dancers, that its inner edge
grazed the elbow of the man who had ensconced himself by the fire; and thus the two strangers were brought
into close companionship. They nodded to each other by way of breaking the ice of unacquaintance, and the
first stranger handed his neighbour the family muga huge vessel of brown ware, having its upper edge
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worn away like a threshold by the rub of whole generations of thirsty lips that had gone the way of all flesh,
and bearing the following inscription burnt upon its rotund side in yellow letters:
THERE IS NO FUN UNTILL i CUM.
The other man, nothing loth, raised the mug to his lips, and drank on, and on, and ontill a curious blueness
overspread the countenance of the shepherd's wife, who had regarded with no little surprise the first stranger's
free offer to the second of what did not belong to him to dispense.
'I knew it!' said the toper to the shepherd with much satisfaction. 'When I walked up your garden before
coming in, and saw the hives all of a row, I said to myself, "Where there's bees there's honey, and where
there's honey there's mead." But mead of such a truly comfortable sort as this I really didn't expect to meet in
my older days.' He took yet another pull at the mug, till it assumed an ominous elevation.
'Glad you enjoy it!' I said the shepherd warmly.
'It is goodish mead,' assented Mrs. Fennel, with an absence of enthusiasm which seemed to say that it was
possible to buy praise for one's cellar at too heavy a price. 'It is trouble enough to makeand really I hardly
think we shall make any more. For honey sells well, and we ourselves can make shift with a drop o' small
mead and metheglin for common use from the combwashings.'
'O, but you'll never have the heart!' reproachfully cried the stranger in cindergray, after taking up the mug a
third time and setting it down empty. 'I love mead, when 'tis old like this, as I love to go to church o' Sundays,
or to relieve the needy any day of the week.'
'Ha, ha, ha!' said the man in the chimneycorner, who, in spite of the taciturnity induced by the pipe of
tobacco, could not or would not refrain from this slight testimony to his comrade's humour.
Now the old mead of those days, brewed of the purest firstyear or maiden honey, four pounds to the
gallonwith its due complement of white of eggs, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, mace, rosemary, yeast, and
processes of working, bottling, and cellaringtasted remarkably strong; but it did not taste so strong as it
actually was. Hence, presently, the stranger in cindergray at the table, moved by its creeping influence,
unbuttoned his waistcoat, threw himself back in his chair, spread his legs, and made his presence felt in
various ways.
'Well, well, as I say,' he resumed, 'I am going to Casterbridge, and to Casterbridge I must go. I should have
been almost there by this time; but the rain drove me into your dwelling, and I'm not sorry for it.'
'You don't live in Casterbridge?' said the shepherd.
'Not as yet; though I shortly mean to move there.'
'Going to set up in trade, perhaps?'
'No, no,' said the shepherd's wife. 'It is easy to see that the gentleman is rich, and don't want to work at
anything.'
The cindergray stranger paused, as if to consider whether he would accept that definition of himself. He
presently rejected it by answering, 'Rich is not quite the word for me, dame. I do work, and I must work. And
even if I only get to Casterbridge by midnight I must begin work there at eight tomorrow morning. Yes, het
or wet, blow or snow, famine or sword, my day's work tomorrow must be done.'
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'Poor man! Then, in spite o' seeming, you be worse off than we?' replied the shepherd's wife.
''Tis the nature of my trade, men and maidens. 'Tis the nature of my trade more than my poverty.... But really
and truly I must up and off, or I shan't get a lodging in the town.' However, the speaker did not move, and
directly added, 'There's time for one more draught of friendship before I go; and I'd perform it at once if the
mug were not dry.'
'Here's a mug o' small,' said Mrs. Fennel. 'Small, we call it, though to be sure 'tis only the first wash o' the
combs.'
'No,' said the stranger disdainfully. 'I won't spoil your first kindness by partaking o' your second.'
'Certainly not,' broke in Fennel. 'We don't increase and multiply every day, and I'll fill the mug again.' He
went away to the dark place under the stairs where the barrel stood. The shepherdess followed him.
'Why should you do this? ' she said reproachfully, as soon as they were alone. 'He's emptied it once, though it
held enough for ten people; and now he's not contented wi' the small, but must needs call for more o' the
strong! And a stranger unbeknown to any of us. For my part, I don't like the look o' the man at all.'
'But he's in the house, my honey; and 'tis a wet night, and a christening. Daze it, what's a cup of mead more or
less? There'll be plenty more next beeburning.'
'Very wellthis time, then,' she answered, looking wistfully at the barrel. 'But what is the man's calling, and
where is he one of, that he should come in and join us like this?'
'I don't know. I'll ask him again.'
The catastrophe of having the mug drained dry at one pull by the stranger in cindergray was effectually
guarded against this time by Mrs. Fennel. She poured out his allowance in a small cup, keeping the large one
at a discreet distance from him. When he had tossed off his portion the shepherd renewed his inquiry about
the stranger's occupation.
The latter did not immediately reply, and the man in the chimneycorner, with sudden demonstrativeness,
said, 'Anybody may know my tradeI'm a wheelwright.'
'A very good trade for these parts,' said the shepherd.
'And anybody may know mineif they've the sense to find it out,' said the stranger in cindergray.
'You may generally tell what a man is by his claws,' observed the hedgecarpenter, looking at his own hands.
'My fingers be as full of thorns as an old pincushion is of pins.'
The hands of the man in the chimneycorner instinctively sought the shade, and he gazed into the fire as he
resumed his pipe. The man at the table took up the hedgecarpenter's remark, and added smartly, 'True; but
the oddity of my trade is that, instead of setting a mark upon me, it sets a mark upon my customers.'
No observation being offered by anybody in elucidation of this enigma, the shepherd's wife once more called
for a song. The same obstacles presented themselves as at the former timeone had no voice, another had
forgotten the first verse. The stranger at the table, whose soul had now risen to a good working temperature,
relieved the difficulty by exclaiming that, to start the company, he would sing himself. Thrusting one thumb
into the armhole of his waistcoat, he waved the other hand in the air, and, with an extemporizing gaze at the
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shining sheepcrooks above the mantelpiece, began:
'O my trade it is the rarest one, Simple shepherds all My trade is a sight to see; For my customers I tie,
and take them up on high, And waft 'em to a far countree!'
The room was silent when he had finished the versewith one exception, that of the man in the
chimneycorner, who, at the singer's word, 'Chorus!' joined him in a deep bass voice of musical relish
'And waft 'em to a far countree!'
Oliver Giles, John Pitcher the dairyman, the parishclerk, the engaged man of fifty, the row of young women
against the wall, seemed lost in thought not of the gayest kind. The shepherd looked meditatively on the
ground, the shepherdess gazed keenly at the singer, and with some suspicion; she was doubting whether this
stranger were merely singing an old song from recollection, or was composing one there and then for the
occasion. All were as perplexed at the obscure revelation as the guests at Belshazzar's Feast, except the man
in the chimneycorner, who quietly said, 'Second verse, stranger,' and smoked on.
The singer thoroughly moistened himself from his lips inwards, and went on with the next stanza as
requested:
'My tools are but common ones, Simple shepherds all My tools are no sight to see: A little hempen string,
and a post whereon to swing Are implements enough for me!'
Shepherd Fennel glanced round. There was no longer any doubt that the stranger was answering his question
rhythmically. The guests one and all started back with suppressed exclamations. The young woman engaged
to the man of fifty fainted halfway, and would have proceeded, but finding him wanting in alacrity for
catching her she sat down trembling.
'O, he's the !' whispered the people in the background, mentioning the name of an ominous public
officer. 'He's come to do it! 'Tis to be at Casterbridge jail tomorrowthe man for sheepstealingthe poor
clockmaker we heard of, who used to live away at Shottsford and had no work to doTimothy Summers,
whose family were astarving, and so he went out of Shottsford by the highroad, and took a sheep in open
daylight, defying the farmer and the farmer's wife and the farmer's lad, and every man jack among 'em. He'
(and they nodded towards the stranger of the deadly trade) 'is come from up the country to do it because
there's not enough to do in his own countytown, and he's got the place here now our own county man's dead;
he's going to live in the same cottage under the prison wall.'
The stranger in cindergray took no notice of this whispered string of observations, but again wetted his lips.
Seeing that his friend in the chimneycorner was the only one who reciprocated his joviality in any way, he
held out his cup towards that appreciative comrade, who also held out his own. They clinked together, the
eyes of the rest of the room hanging upon the singer's actions. He parted his lips for the third verse; but at that
moment another knock was audible upon the door. This time the knock was faint and hesitating.
The company seemed scared; the shepherd looked with consternation towards the entrance, and it was with
some effort that he resisted his alarmed wife's deprecatory glance, and uttered for the third time the
welcoming words, 'Walk in!'
The door was gently opened, and another man stood upon the mat. He, like those who had preceded him, was
a stranger. This time it was a short, small personage, of fair complexion, and dressed in a decent suit of dark
clothes.
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'Can you tell me the way to?' he began: when, gazing round the room to observe the nature of the
company amongst whom he had fallen, his eyes lighted on the stranger in cindergray. It was just at the
instant when the latter, who had thrown his mind into his song with such a will that he scarcely heeded the
interruption, silenced all whispers and inquiries by bursting into his third verse:
'Tomorrow is my working day, Simple shepherds all Tomorrow is a working day for me: For the
farmer's sheep is slain, and the lad who did it ta'en, And on his soul may God ha' mercy!'
The stranger in the chimneycorner, waving cups with the singer so heartily that his mead splashed over on
the hearth, repeated in his bass voice as before:
'And on his soul may God ha' mercy!'
All this time the third stranger had been standing in the doorway. Finding now that he did not come forward
or go on speaking, the guests particularly regarded him. They noticed to their surprise that he stood before
them the picture of abject terrorhis knees trembling, his hand shaking so violently that the doorlatch by
which he supported himself rattled audibly: his white lips were parted, and his eyes fixed on the merry officer
of justice in the middle of the room. A moment more and he had turned, closed the door, and fled.
'What a man can it be?' said the shepherd.
The rest, between the awfulness of their late discovery and the odd conduct of this third visitor, looked as if
they knew not what to think, and said nothing. Instinctively they withdrew further and further from the grim
gentleman in their midst, whom some of them seemed to take for the Prince of Darkness himself, till they
formed a remote circle, an empty space of floor being left between them and him
'... circulus, cujus centrum diabolus.'
The room was so silentthough there were more than twenty people in itthat nothing could be heard but
the patter of the rain against the windowshutters, accompanied by the occasional hiss of a stray drop that fell
down the chimney into the fire, and the steady puffing of the man in the corner, who had now resumed his
pipe of long clay.
The stillness was unexpectedly broken. The distant sound of a gun reverberated through the airapparently
from the direction of the countytown.
'Be jiggered!' cried the stranger who had sung the song, jumping up.
"What does that mean?' asked several.
"A prisoner has escaped from the jailthat's what it means.'
All listened. The sound was repeated, and none of them spoke but the man in the chimneycorner, who said
quietly, 'I've often been told that in this county they fire a gun at such times; but I never heard it till now.'
'I wonder if it is my man?' murmured the personage in cindergray.
'Surely it is!' said the shepherd involuntarily. 'And surely we've zeed him! That little man who looked in at
the door by now, and quivered like a leaf when he zeed ye and heard your song!'
'His teeth chattered, and the breath went out of his body,' said the dairyman.
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'And his heart seemed to sink within him like a stone,' said Oliver Giles.
'And he bolted as if he'd been shot at,' said the hedgecarpenter.
'Truehis teeth chattered, and his heart seemed to sink; and he bolted as if he'd been shot at,' slowly
summed up the man in the chimneycorner.
'I didn't notice it,' remarked the hangman.
'We were all awondering what made him run off in such a fright,' faltered one of the women against the
wall, 'and now 'tis explained!'
The firing of the alarmgun went on at intervals, low and sullenly, and their suspicions became a certainty.
The sinister gentleman in cindergray roused himself. 'Is there a constable here?' he asked, in thick tones. 'If
so, let him step forward.'
The engaged man of fifty stepped quavering out from the wall, his betrothed beginning to sob on the back of
the chair.
'You are a sworn constable?'
'I be, sir.'
'Then, pursue the criminal at once, with assistance, and bring him back here. He can't have gone far.'
'I will sir, I willwhen I've got my staff. I'll go home and get it, and come sharp here, and start in a body.'
'Staff!never mind your staff; the man'll be gone!'
'But I can't do nothing without my staffcan I, William, and John, and Charles Jake? No; for there's the
king's royal crown a painted on en in yaller and gold, and the lion and the unicorn, so as when I raise en up
and hit my prisoner, 'tis made a lawful blow thereby. I wouldn't 'tempt to take up a man without my
staffno, not I. If I hadn't the law to gie me courage, why, instead o' my taking up him he might take up me!'
'Now, I'm a king's man myself, and can give you authority enough for this,' said the formidable officer in
gray. 'Now then, all of ye, be ready. Have ye any lanterns?'
'Yeshave ye any lanterns?I demand it!' said the constable.
'And the rest of you ablebodied'
'Ablebodied menyesthe rest of ye!' said the constable.
'Have you some good stout staves and pitchforks'
'Staves and pitchforksin the name o' the law! And take 'em in yer hands and go in quest, and do as we in
authority tell ye!'
Thus aroused, the men prepared to give chase. The evidence was, indeed, though circumstantial, so
convincing, that but little argument was needed to show the shepherd's guests that after what they had seen it
would look very much like connivance if they did not instantly pursue the unhappy third stranger, who could
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not as yet have gone more than a few hundred yards over such uneven country.
A shepherd is always well provided with lanterns; and, lighting these hastily, and with hurdlestaves in their
hands, they poured out of the door, taking a direction along the crest of the hill, away from the town, the rain
having fortunately a little abated.
Disturbed by the noise, or possibly by unpleasant dreams of her baptism, the child who had been christened
began to cry heartbrokenly in the room overhead. These notes of grief came down through the chinks of the
floor to the ears of the women below, who jumped up one by one, and seemed glad of the excuse to ascend
and comfort the baby, for the incidents of the last halfhour greatly oppressed them. Thus in the space of two
or three minutes the room on the groundfloor was deserted quite.
But it was not for long. Hardly had the sound of footsteps died away when a man returned round the corner of
the house from the direction the pursuers had taken. Peeping in at the door, and seeing nobody there, he
entered leisurely. It was the stranger of the chimneycorner, who had gone out with the rest. The motive of
his return was shown by his helping himself to a cut piece of skimmercake that lay on a ledge beside where
he had sat, and which he had apparently forgotten to take with him. He also poured out half a cup more mead
from the quantity that remained, ravenously eating and drinking these as he stood. He had not finished when
another figure came in just as quietlyhis friend in cindergray.
'Oyou here?' said the latter, smiling. 'I thought you had gone to help in the capture.' And this speaker also
revealed the object of his return by looking solicitously round for the fascinating mug of old mead.
'And I thought you had gone,' said the other, continuing his skimmercake with some effort.
'Well, on second thoughts, I felt there were enough without me,' said the first confidentially, 'and such a night
as it is, too. Besides, 'tis the business o' the Government to take care of its criminalsnot mine.'
'True; so it is. And I felt as you did, that there were enough without me.'
'I don't want to break my limbs running over the humps and hollows of this wild country.'
'Nor I neither, between you and me.'
'These shepherdpeople are used to itsimpleminded souls, you know, stirred up to anything in a moment.
They'll have him ready for me before the morning, and no trouble to me at all.'
'They'll have him, and we shall have saved ourselves all labour in the matter.'
'True, true. Well, my way is to Casterbridge; and 'tis as much as my legs will do to take me that far. Going the
same way?'
'No, I am sorry to say! I have to get home over there' (he nodded indefinitely to the right), 'and I feel as you
do, that it is quite enough for my legs to do before bedtime.'
The other had by this time finished the mead in the mug, after which, shaking hands heartily at the door, and
wishing each other well, they went their several ways.
In the meantime the company of pursuers had reached the end of the hog'sback elevation which dominated
this part of the down. They had decided on no particular plan of action; and, finding that the man of the
baleful trade was no longer in their company, they seemed quite unable to form any such plan now. They
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descended in all directions down the hill, and straightway several of the party fell into the snare set by Nature
for all misguided midnight ramblers over this part of the cretaceous formation. The 'lanchets,' or flint slopes,
which belted the escarpment at intervals of a dozen yards, took the less cautious ones unawares, and losing
their footing on the rubbly steep they slid sharply downwards, the lanterns rolling from their hands to the
bottom, and there lying on their sides till the horn was scorched through.
When they had again gathered themselves together, the shepherd, as the man who knew the country best,
took the lead, and guided them round these treacherous inclines. The lanterns, which seemed rather to dazzle
their eyes and warn the fugitive than to assist them in the exploration, were extinguished, due silence was
observed; and in this more rational order they plunged into the vale. It was a grassy, briery, moist defile,
affording some shelter to any person who had sought it; but the party perambulated it in vain, and ascended
on the other side. Here they wandered apart, and after an interval closed together again to report progress. At
the second time of closing in they found themselves near a lonely ash, the single tree on this part of the
coomb, probably sown there by a passing bird some fifty years before. And here, standing a little to one side
of the trunk, as motionless as the trunk itself, appeared the man they were in quest of, his outline being well
defined against the sky beyond. The band noiselessly drew up and faced him.
'Your money or your life!' said the constable sternly to the still figure.
'No, no,' whispered John Pitcher. ''Tisn't our side ought to say that. That's the doctrine of vagabonds like him,
and we be on the side of the law.'
'Well, well,' replied the constable impatiently; 'I must say something, mustn't I? and if you had all the weight
o' this undertaking upon your mind, perhaps you'd say the wrong thing too!Prisoner at the bar, surrender,
in the name of the Fatherthe Crown, I mane!'
The man under the tree seemed now to notice them for the first time, and, giving them no opportunity
whatever for exhibiting their courage, he strolled slowly towards them. He was, indeed, the little man, the
third stranger; but his trepidation had in a great measure gone.
'Well, travellers,' he said, 'did I hear ye speak to me?'
'You did: you've got to come and be our prisoner at once!' said the constable. 'We arrest 'ee on the charge of
not biding in Casterbridge jail in a decent proper manner to be hung tomorrow morning. Neighbours, do
your duty, and seize the culpet!'
On hearing the charge, the man seemed enlightened, and, saying not another word, resigned himself with
preternatural civility to the searchparty, who, with their staves in their hands, surrounded him on all sides,
and marched him back towards the shepherd's cottage.
It was eleven o'clock by the time they arrived. The light shining from the open door, a sound of men's voices
within, proclaimed to them as they approached the house that some new events had arisen in their absence.
On entering they discovered the shepherd's living room to be invaded by two officers from Casterbridge jail,
and a wellknown magistrate who lived at the nearest countryseat, intelligence of the escape having become
generally circulated.
'Gentlemen,' said the constable, 'I have brought back your mannot without risk and danger; but every one
must do his duty! He is inside this circle of ablebodied persons, who have lent me useful aid, considering
their ignorance of Crown work. Men, bring forward your prisoner!' And the third stranger was led to the
light.
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'Who is this?' said one of the officials.
'The man,' said the constable.
'Certainly not,' said the turnkey; and the first corroborated his statement.
'But how can it be otherwise?' asked the constable. 'or why was he so terrified at sight o' the singing
instrument of the law who sat there?' Here he related the strange behaviour of the third stranger on entering
the house during the hangman's song.
'Can't understand it,' said the officer coolly. 'All I know is that it is not the condemned man. He's quite a
different character from this one; a gauntish fellow, with dark hair and eyes, rather goodlooking, and with a
musical bass voice that if you heard it once you'd never mistake as long as you lived.'
'Why, souls'twas the man in the chimneycorner!'
'Heywhat?' said the magistrate, coming forward after inquiring particulars from the shepherd in the
background. 'Haven't you got the man after all?'
'Well, sir,' said the constable, 'he's the man we were in search of, that's true; and yet he's not the man we were
in search of. For the man we were in search of was not the man we wanted, sir, if you understand my
everyday way; for 'twas the man in the chimneycorner!'
'A pretty kettle of fish altogether!' said the magistrate. 'You had better start for the other man at once.'
The prisoner now spoke for the first time. The mention of the man in the chimneycorner seemed to have
moved him as nothing else could do. 'Sir,' he said, stepping forward to the magistrate, 'take no more trouble
about me. The time is come when I may as well speak. I have done nothing; my crime is that the condemned
man is my brother. Early this afternoon I left home at Shottsford to tramp it all the way to Casterbridge jail to
bid him farewell. I was benighted, and called here to rest and ask the way. When I opened the door I saw
before me the very man, my brother, that I thought to see in the condemned cell at Casterbridge. He was in
this chimneycorner; and jammed close to him, so that he could not have got out if he had tried, was the
executioner who'd come to take his life, singing a song about it and not knowing that it was his victim who
was close by, joining in to save appearances. My brother looked a glance of agony at me, and I knew he
meant, "Don't reveal what you see; my life depends on it." I was so terrorstruck that I could hardly stand,
and, not knowing what I did, I turned and hurried away.'
The narrator's manner and tone had the stamp of truth, and his story made a great impression on all around.
'And do you know where your brother is at the present time?' asked the magistrate.
'I do not. I have never seen him since I closed this door.'
'I can testify to that, for we've been between ye ever since,' said the constable.
'Where does he think to fly to?what is his occupation?'
'He's a watchandclockmaker, sir.'
''A said 'a was a wheelwrighta wicked rogue,' said the constable.
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'The wheels of clocks and watches he meant, no doubt,' said Shepherd Fennel. 'I thought his hands were
palish for's trade.'
'Well, it appears to me that nothing can be gained by retaining this poor man in custody,' said the magistrate;
'your business lies with the other, unquestionably.'
And so the little man was released offhand; but he looked nothing the less sad on that account, it being
beyond the power of magistrate or constable to raze out the written troubles in his brain, for they concerned
another whom he regarded with more solicitude than himself. When this was done, and the man had gone his
way, the night was found to be so far advanced that it was deemed useless to renew the search before the next
morning.
Next day, accordingly, the quest for the clever sheepstealer became general and keen, to all appearance at
least. But the intended punishment was cruelly disproportioned to the transgression, and the sympathy of a
great many countryfolk in that district was strongly on the side of the fugitive. Moreover, his marvellous
coolness and daring in hobandnobbing with the hangman, under the unprecedented circumstances of the
shepherd's party, won their admiration. So that it may be questioned if all those who ostensibly made
themselves so busy in exploring woods and fields and lanes were quite so thorough when it came to the
private examination of their own lofts and outhouses. Stories were afloat of a mysterious figure being
occasionally seen in some old overgrown trackway or other, remote from turnpike roads; but when a search
was instituted in any of these suspected quarters nobody was found. Thus the days and weeks passed without
tidings.
In brief, the bassvoiced man of the chimneycorner was never recaptured. Some said that he went across the
sea, others that he did not, but buried himself in the depths of a populous city. At any rate, the gentleman in
cindergray never did his morning's work at Casterbridge, nor met anywhere at all, for business purposes, the
genial comrade with whom he had passed an hour of relaxation in the lonely house on the coomb.
The grass has long been green on the graves of Shepherd Fennel and his frugal wife; the guests who made up
the christening party have mainly followed their entertainers to the tomb; the baby in whose honour they all
had met is a matron in the sere and yellow leaf. But the arrival of the three strangers at the shepherd's that
night, and the details connected therewith, is a story as well known as ever in the country about Higher
Crowstairs.
The Thieves Who Couldn't Stop Sneezing
Many years ago, when oaktrees now past their prime were about as large as elderly gentlemen's
walkingsticks, there lived in Wessex a yeoman's son, whose name was Hubert. He was about fourteen years
of age, and was as remarkable for his candour and lightness of heart as for his physical courage, of which,
indeed, he was a little vain.
One cold Christmas Eve his father, having no other help at hand, sent him on an important errand to a small
town several miles from home. He travelled on horseback, and was detained by the business till a late hour of
the evening. At last, however, it was completed; he returned to the inn, the horse was saddled, and he started
on his way. His journey homeward lay through the Vale of Blackmore, a fertile but somewhat lonely district,
with heavy clay roads and crooked lanes. In those days, too, a great part of it was thickly wooded.
It must have been about nine o'clock when, riding along amid the overhanging trees upon his stoutlegged
cob Jerry, and singing a Christmas carol, to be in harmony with the season, Hubert fancied that he heard a
noise among the boughs. This recalled to his mind that the spot he was traversing bore an evil name. Men had
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been waylaid there. He looked at Jerry, and wished he had been of any other colour than light grey; for on
this account the docile animal's form was visible even here in the dense shade. "What do I care?" he said
aloud, after a few minutes of reflection. "Jerry's legs are too nimble to allow any highwayman to come near
me."
"Ha! ha! indeed," was said in a deep voice; and the next moment a man darted from the thicket on his right
hand, another man from the thicket on his left hand, and another from a treetrunk a few yards ahead.
Hubert's bridle was seized, he was pulled from his horse, and although he struck out with all his might, as a
brave boy would naturally do, he was overpowered. His arms were tied behind him, his legs bound tightly
together, and he was thrown into the ditch. The robbers, whose faces he could now dimly perceive to be
artificially blackened, at once departed, leading off the horse.
As soon as Hubert had a little recovered himself, he found that by great exertion he was able to extricate his
legs from the cord; but, in spite of every endeavour, his arms remained bound as fast as before. All, therefore,
that he could do was to rise to his feet and proceed on his way with his arms behind him, and trust to chance
for getting them unfastened. He knew that it would be impossible to reach home on foot that night, and in
such a condition; but he walked on. Owing to the confusion which this attack caused in his brain, he lost his
way, and would have been inclined to lie down and rest till morning among the dead leaves had he not known
the danger of sleeping without wrappers in a frost so severe. So he wandered further onwards, his arms wrung
and numbed by the cord which pinioned him, and his heart aching for the loss of poor Jerry, who never had
been known to kick, or bite, or show a single vicious habit. He was not a little glad when he discerned
through the trees a distant light. Towards this he made his way, and presently found himself in front of a large
mansion with flanking wings, gables, and towers, the battlements and chimneys showing their shapes against
the stars.
All was silent; but the door stood wide open, it being from this door that the light shone which had attracted
him. On entering he found himself in a vast apartment arranged as a dininghall, and brilliantly illuminated.
The walls were covered with a great deal of dark wainscoting, formed into moulded panels, carvings,
closetdoors, and the usual fittings of a house of that kind. But what drew his attention most was the large
table in the midst of the hall, upon which was spread a sumptuous supper, as yet untouched. Chairs were
placed around, and it appeared as if something had occurred to interrupt the meal just at the time when all
were ready to begin.
Even had Hubert been so inclined, he could not have eaten in his helpless state, unless by dipping his mouth
into the dishes, like a pig or cow. He wished first to obtain assistance; and was about to penetrate further into
the house for that purpose when he heard hasty footsteps in the porch and the words, "Be quick!" uttered in
the deep voice which had reached him when he was dragged from the horse. There was only just time for him
to dart under the table before three men entered the dininghall. Peeping from beneath the hanging edges of
the tablecloth, he perceived that their faces, too, were blackened, which at once removed any remaining
doubts he may have felt that these were the same thieves.
"Now, then," said the firstthe man with the deep voice"let us hide ourselves. They will all be back again
in a minute. That was a good trick to get them out of the houseeh?"
"Yes. You well imitated the cries of a man in distress," said the second.
"Excellently," said the third.
"But they will soon find out that it was a false alarm. Come, where shall we hide? It must be some place we
can stay in for two or three hours, till all are in bed and asleep. Ah! I have it. Come this way! I have learnt
that the further closet is not opened once in a twelvemonth; it will serve our purpose exactly."
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The speaker advanced into a corridor which led from the hall. Creeping a little farther forward, Hubert could
discern that the closet stood at the end, facing the dininghall. The thieves entered it, and closed the door.
Hardly breathing, Hubert glided forward, to learn a little more of their intention, if possible; and, coming
close, he could hear the robbers whispering about the different rooms where the jewels, plate, and other
valuables of the house were kept, which they plainly meant to steal.
They had not been long in hiding when a gay chattering of ladies and gentlemen was audible on the terrace
without. Hubert felt that it would not do to be caught prowling about the house, unless he wished to be taken
for a robber himself; and he slipped softly back to the hall, out at the door, and stood in a dark corner of the
porch, where he could see everything without being himself seen. In a moment or two a whole troop of
personages came gliding past him into the house. There were an elderly gentleman and lady, eight or nine
young ladies, as many young men, besides halfadozen menservants and maids. The mansion had
apparently been quite emptied of its occupants.
"Now, children and young people, we will resume our meal," said the old gentleman. "What the noise could
have been I cannot understand. I never felt so certain in my life that there was a person being murdered
outside my door."
Then the ladies began saying how frightened they had been, and how they had expected an adventure, and
how it had ended in nothing after all.
"Wait a while," said Hubert to himself. "You'll have adventure enough byandby, ladies."
It appeared that the young men and women were married sons and daughters of the old couple, who had
come that day to spend Christmas with their parents.
The door was then closed, Hubert being left outside in the porch.
He thought this a proper moment for asking their assistance; and, since he was unable to knock with his
hands, began boldly to kick the door.
"Hullo! What disturbance are you making here?" said a footman who opened it; and, seizing Hubert by the
shoulder, he pulled him into the dininghall. "Here's a strange boy I have found making a noise in the porch,
Sir Simon."
Everybody turned.
"Bring him forward," said Sir Simon, the old gentleman before mentioned. "What were you doing there, my
boy?"
"Why, his arms are tied!" said one of the ladies.
"Poor fellow!" said another.
Hubert at once began to explain that he had been waylaid on his journey home, robbed of his horse, and
mercilessly left in this condition by the thieves.
"Only to think of it!" exclaimed Sir Simon.
"That's a likely story," said one of the gentlemanguests, incredulously.
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"Doubtful, hey?" asked Sir Simon.
"Perhaps he's a robber himself," suggested a lady.
"There is a curiously wild wicked look about him, certainly, now that I examine him closely," said the old
mother.
Hubert blushed with shame; and, instead of continuing his story, and relating that robbers were concealed in
the house, he doggedly held his tongue, and half resolved to let them find out their danger for themselves.
"Well, untie him," said Sir Simon. "Come, since it is Christmas Eve, we'll treat him well. Here, my lad; sit
down in that empty seat at the bottom of the table, and make as good a meal as you can. When you have had
your fill we will listen to more particulars of your story."
The feast then proceeded; and Hubert, now at liberty, was not at all sorry to join in. The more they eat and
drank the merrier did the company become; the wine flowed freely, the logs flared up the chimney, the ladies
laughed at the gentlemen's stories; in short, all went as noisily and as happily as a Christmas gathering in old
times possibly could do.
Hubert, in spite of his hurt feelings at their doubts of his honesty, could not help being warmed both in mind
and in body by the good cheer, the scene, and the example of hilarity set by his neighbours. At last he
laughed as heartily at their stories and repartees as the old Baronet, Sir Simon, himself. When the meal was
almost over one of the sons, who had drunk a little too much wine, after the manner of men in that century,
said to Hubert, "Well, my boy, how are you? Can you take a pinch of snuff?" He held out one of the
snuffboxes which were then becoming common among young and old throughout the country.
"Thank you," said Hubert, accepting a pinch.
"Tell the ladies who you are, what you are made of, and what you can do," the young man continued,
slapping Hubert upon the shoulder.
"Certainly," said our hero, drawing himself up, and thinking it best to put a bold face on the matter. "I am a
travelling magician."
"Indeed!"
"What shall we hear next?"
"Can you call up spirits from the vasty deep, young wizard?"
"I can conjure up a tempest in a cupboard," Hubert replied.
"Haha!" said the old Baronet, pleasantly rubbing his hands. "We must see this performance. Girls, don't go
away: here's something to be seen."
"Not dangerous, I hope?" said the old lady.
Hubert rose from the table. "Hand me your snuffbox, please," he said to the young man who had made free
with him. "And now," he continued, "without the least noise, follow me. If any of you speak it will break the
spell."
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They promised obedience. He entered the corridor, and, taking off his shoes, went on tiptoe to the closet door,
the guests advancing in a silent group at a little distance behind him. Hubert next placed a stool in front of the
door, and, by standing upon it, was tall enough to reach to the top. He then, just as noiselessly, poured all the
snuff from the box along the upper edge of the door, and, with a few short puffs of breath, blew the snuff
through the chink into the interior of the closet. He held up his finger to the assembly, that they might be
silent.
"Dear me, what's that?" said the old lady, after a minute or two had elapsed.
A suppressed sneeze had come from inside the closet.
Hubert held up his finger again.
"How very singular," whispered Sir Simon. "This is most interesting."
Hubert took advantage of the moment to gently slide the bolt of the closet door into its place. "More snuff,"
he said, calmly.
"More snuff," said Sir Simon. Two or three gentlemen passed their boxes, and the contents were blown in at
the top of the closet. Another sneeze, not quite so well suppressed as the first, was heard: then another, which
seemed to say that it would not be suppressed under any circumstances whatever at length there arose a
perfect storm of sneezes.
"Excellent, excellent for one so young!" said Sir Simon. "I am much interested in this trick of throwing the
voicecalled, I believe, ventriloquism."
"More snuff," said Hubert
"More snuff," said Sir Simon. Sir Simon's man brought a large jar of the best scented Scotch.
Hubert once more charged the upper chink of the closet, and blew the snuff into the interior, as before. Again
he charged, and again, emptying the whole contents of the jar. The tumult of sneezes became really
extraordinary to listen tothere was no cessation. It was like wind, rain, and sea battling in a hurricane.
"I believe there are men inside, and that it is no trick at all!" exclaimed Sir Simon, the truth flashing on him.
"There are," said Hubert. "They are come to rob the house; and they are the same who stole my horse."
The sneezes changed to spasmodic groans. One of the thieves, hearing Hubert's voice, cried, "Oh! mercy!
mercy! let us out of this!"
"Where's my horse? said Hubert.
"Tied to the tree in the hollow behind Short's Gibbet. Mercy! mercy! let us out, or we shall die of
suffocation!"
All the Christmas guests now perceived that this was no longer sport, but serious earnest. Guns and cudgels
were procured; all the menservants were called in, and arranged in position outside the closet. At a signal
Hubert withdrew the bolt, and stood on the defensive. But the three robbers, far from attacking them, were
found crouching in the corner, gasping for breath. They made no resistance; and, being pinioned, were placed
in an outhouse till the morning.
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Hubert now gave the remainder of his story to the assembled company, and was profusely thanked for the
services he had rendered. Sir Simon pressed him to stay over the night, and accept the use of the best
bedroom the house afforded, which had been occupied by Queen Elizabeth and King Charles successively
when on their visits to this part of the country. But Hubert declined, being anxious to find his horse Jerry, and
to test the truth of the robbers' statements concerning him.
Several of the guests accompanied Hubert to the spot behind the gibbet, alluded to by the thieves as where
Jerry was hidden. When they reached the knoll and looked over, behold! there the horse stood, uninjured, and
quite unconcerned. At sight of Hubert he neighed joyfully; and nothing could exceed Hubert's gladness at
finding him. He mounted, wished his friends "Goodnight!" and cantered off in the direction they pointed out
as his nearest way, reaching home safely about four o'clock in the morning.
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