Title: The City Heiress
Subject:
Author: Aphra Behn
Keywords:
Creator:
PDF Version: 1.2
Page No 1
The City Heiress
Aphra Behn
Page No 2
Table of Contents
The City Heiress ..................................................................................................................................................1
Aphra Behn..............................................................................................................................................1
To the Right Honourable Henry Earl of Arundel, and Lord Mowbray. ..............................................1
THE CITY HEIRESS; or, Sir Timothy Treatall. PROLOGUE, Written by Mr. Otway,
Spoken by Mrs. Barry. ...........................................................................................................................2
DRAMATIS PERSONAE. ......................................................................................................................3
Section "men"..........................................................................................................................................3
Section men ..............................................................................................................................................3
MEN. .......................................................................................................................................................3
Section "women".....................................................................................................................................3
Section women .........................................................................................................................................3
WOMEN. .................................................................................................................................................4
Act 1 .........................................................................................................................................................4
Scene 1 .....................................................................................................................................................4
Act 2 .......................................................................................................................................................30
Scene 1 ...................................................................................................................................................30
Scene 2 ...................................................................................................................................................43
Scene 3 ...................................................................................................................................................52
Act 3 .......................................................................................................................................................65
Scene 1 ...................................................................................................................................................65
SONG. ....................................................................................................................................................88
Act 4 .......................................................................................................................................................97
Scene 1 ...................................................................................................................................................97
SONG. ....................................................................................................................................................99
Scene 2 .................................................................................................................................................109
Act 5 .....................................................................................................................................................125
Scene 1 .................................................................................................................................................126
Scene 2 .................................................................................................................................................136
Scene 3 .................................................................................................................................................139
Scene 4 .................................................................................................................................................143
Scene 5 .................................................................................................................................................148
EPILOGUE. Written by a Person of Quality: Spoken by Mrs. Boteler. ..........................................162
The City Heiress
i
Page No 3
The City Heiress
Aphra Behn
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
The City Heiress
or, Sir Timothy Treatall
To the Right Honourable
Henry Earl of Arundel, and Lord Mowbray.
MY LORD,
'Tis long that I have with great impatience waited some opportunity to declare my infinite Respect to your
Lordship, coming, I may say, into the World with a Veneration for your Illustrious Family, and being brought
up with continual Praises of the Renowned Actions of your glorious Ancestors, both in War and Peace, so
famous over the Christian World for their Vertue, Piety, and Learning, their elevated Birth, and greatness of
Courage, and of whom all our English History are full of the Wonders of the Lives: A Family of so Ancient
Nobility, and from whom so many Heroes have proceeded to bless and serve their King and Country, that all
Ages and all Nations mention 'em even with Adoration: My self have been in this our Age an Eye and
Earwitness, with what Transports of Joy, with what unusual Respect and Ceremony, above what we pay to
Mankind, the very Name of the Great Howards of Norfolk and Arundel, have been celebrated on Foreign
Shores! And when any one of your Illustrious Family have pass'd the Streets, the People throng'd to praise
and bless him as soon as his Name has been made known to the glad Croud. This I have seen with a Joy that
became a true English heart, (who truly venerate its brave Countrymen) and joyn'd my dutiful Respects and
Praises with the most devout; but never had the happiness yet of any opportunity to express particularly that
Admiration I have and ever had for your Lordship and your Great Family. Still, I say, I did admire you, still I
wish'd and pray'd for you; 'twas all I cou'd or durst: But, as my Esteem for your Lordship daily increased with
my Judgment, so nothing cou'd bring it to a more absolute height and perfection, than to observe in these
troublesome times, this Age of Lying, Peaching, and Swearing with what noble Prudence, what steadiness of
Mind, what Loyalty and Conduct you have evaded the Snare, that 'twas to be fear'd was laid for all the Good,
the Brave, and Loyal, for all that truly lov'd our best of Kings and this distracted Country. A thousand times I
have wept for fear that Impudence and Malice wou'd extend so far as to stain your Noble and everLoyal
Family with its unavoidable Imputatious; and as often for joy, to see how undauntedly both the Illustrions
Duke your Father, and your Self, stem'd the raging Torrent that threatned, with yours, the ruin of the King
and Kingdom; all which had not power to shake your Constancy or Loyalty: for which, may Heaven and
Earth reward and bless you; the noble Examples to thousands of failing hearts, who from so great a President
of Loyalty, became confirm'd. May Heaven and Earth bless you for your pious and resolute bravery of Mind,
and Heroick honesty, when you cry'd, Not Guilty; that you durst, like your great self, speak Conscientious
Truths in a Juncto so vitious, when Truth and Innocence was criminal: and I doubt not but the Soul of that
great Sufferer bows down from Heaven in gratitude for that noble service done it. All these and a thousand
marks you give of daily growing Greatness; every day produces to those like me, curious to learn the story of
The City Heiress 1
Page No 4
your Life and Actions, something that even adds a Lustre to your great Name, which one wou'd think cou'd
be made no more splendid: some new Goodness, some new act of Loyalty or Courage, comes out to cheer the
World and those that admire you. Nor wou'd I be the last of those that dayly congratulate and celebrate your
rising Glory; nor durst I any other way approach you with it, but this humble one, which carries some Excuse
along with it.
Proud of the opportunity then, I most humbly beg your Lordships' patronage of a Comedy, which has nothing
to defend it, but the Honour it begs, and nothing to deserve that Honour, but its being in every part true Tory!
Loyal allover! except one Knave, which I hope no body will take to himself; or if he do, I must e'en say with
Hamlet, Then let the strucken Deer go weep
It has the luck to be well received in the Town; which (not for my Vanity) pleases me, but that thereby I find
Honesty begins to come in fashion again, when Loyalty is approv'd, and Whigism becomes a Jest where'er 'tis
met with. And, no doubt on't, so long as the Royal Cause has such Patrons as your Lordship, such vigorous
and noble Supporters, his Majesty will be great, secure and quiet, the Nation flourishing and happy, and
seditious Fools and Knaves that have so long disturb'd the Peace and Tranquility of the World, will become
the business and sport of Comedy, and at last the scorn of that Rabble that fondly and blindly worshipt 'em;
and whom nothing can so well convince as plain Demonstration, which is ever more powerful and prevailent
than Precept, or even Preaching it self. If this have edifi'd effectual, 'tis all I wish; and that your Lordship will
be pleas'd to accept the humble Offering, is all I beg, and the greatest Glory I care shou'd be done, MY
LORD,
Your Lordship's most Humble
and most Obedient Servant,
A. BEHN.
THE CITY HEIRESS;
or, Sir Timothy Treatall.
PROLOGUE,
Written by Mr. Otway, Spoken by Mrs. Barry.
HOW vain have prov'd the Labours of the Stage,
In striving to reclaim a vitious Age!
Poets may write the Mischief to impeach, )
You care as little what the Poets teach, )
As you regard at Church what Parsons preach. )
But where such Follies, and such Vices reign,
What honest Pen has Patience to refrain?
At Church, in Pews, ye most devoutly snore;
And here, got dully drunk, ye come to roar:
Ye go to Church to glout, and ogle there,
And come to meet more leud convenient here.
With equal Zeal ye honour either Place, )
And run so very evenly your Race, )
Y' improve in Wit just as you do in Grace. )
It must be so, some Doe6mon has possest
Our Land, and we have never since been blest.
Y' have seen it all, or heard of its Renown, )
In Reverend Shape it stalk'd about the Town, )
Six Yeomen tall attending on its Frown. )
Sometimes with humble Note and zealous Lore, )
'Twou'd play the Apostolick Function o'er: )
The City Heiress
THE CITY HEIRESS; or, Sir Timothy Treatall. PROLOGUE, Written by Mr. Otway, Spoken by Mrs. Barry. 2
Page No 5
But, Heaven have mercy on us when it swore. )
Whene'er it swore, to prove the Oaths were true,
Out of its much at random Halters flew
Round some unwary Neck, by Magick thrown,
Though still the cunning Devil sav'd its own:
For when the Inchantment could no longer last,
The subtle Pug most dextrously uncas'd,
Left awful Form for one more seeming pious, )
And in a moment vary'd to defy us; )
From silken Doctor homespun Ananias:)
Left the leud Court, and did in City fix, )
Where still, by its old Arts, it plays new Tricks, )
And fills the Heads of Fools with Politicks. )
This Doe6mon lately drew in many a Guest,
To part with zealous Guinea for no Feast.
Who, but the most incorrigible Fops,
For ever doom'd in dismal Cells, call'd Shops,
To cheat and damn themselves to get their Livings,
Wou'd lay sweet Money out in ShamThanksgivings?
ShamPlots you may have paid for o'er and o'er;
But who e'er paid for a ShamTreat before?
Had you not better sent your Offerings all
Hither to us, than Sequestrators Hall?
I being your Steward, Justice had been done ye;
I cou'd have entertain'd you worth your Money.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE.
Section "men"
Section men
MEN.
Sir Timothy Treatall, an old seditious Knight, ) that keeps open House for Commonwealths ) Mr. Nokes.
men and true blue Protestants, Uncle to T. ) Wilding, ) Tom Wilding, a Tory, his discarded Nephew, Mr.
Betterton. Sir Anthony Meriwill, an old Tory Knight of ) Devonshire, ) Mr. Lee. Sir Charles Meriwill, his
Nephew, a Tory also, ) in love with L. Galliard, and Friend to ) Mr. Williams. Wilding, ) Dresswell, a
young Gentleman, Friend to ) Wilding, ) Mr. Bowman. Foppington, a Hangeron on Wilding, Mr. Jevon.
Jervice, Man to Sir Timothy. Laboir, Man to Tom Wilding. Boy, Page to Lady Galliard. Boy, Page to
Diana. Guests, Footmen, Musick, &c.
Section "women"
Section women
The City Heiress
DRAMATIS PERSONAE. 3
Page No 6
WOMEN.
Lady Galliard, a rich CityWidow, in love with ) Wilding, ) Mrs. Barry. Charlot, The CityHeiress, in
love with Wilding, Mrs. Butler. Diana, Mistress to Wilding, and kept by him, Mrs. Corror. Mrs. Clacket, a
City Baud and Puritan, Mrs. Norice. Mrs. Closet, Woman to Lady Galliard, Mrs. Lee. Mrs. Sensure, Sir
Timothy's Housekeeper. Betty, Maid to Diana. Maid at Charlot's lodging.
SCENE, Within the Walls of London.
Act 1
Scene 1
The Street.
Enter Sir Timothy Treatall, follow'd by Tom Wilding bare, Sir Charles Meriwill, Foppington, and
Footman with a Cloke.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Trouble me no more: for I am resolv'd, deaf and obdurate, d'ye see, and so forth.
Tom Wilding
I beseech ye, Uncle, hear me.
Sir Timothy Treatall
No.
Tom Wilding
Dear Uncle
Sir Timothy Treatall
No.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 4
Page No 7
You will be mortify'd
Sir Timothy Treatall
No.
Tom Wilding
At least hear me out, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
No, I have heard you out too often, Sir, till you have talkt me out of many a fair Thousand; have had ye out of
all the Bayliffs, Serjeants, and Constables Clutches about Town, Sir; have brought you out of all the
Surgeons, Apothecaries, and pocky Doctors Hands, that ever pretended to cure incurable Diseases; and have
crost ye out of the Books of all the Mercers, Silkmen, Exchangemen, Taylors, Shoemakers, and
Sempstresses; with all the rest of the unconscionable Citytribe of the long Bill, that had but Faith enough to
trust, and thought me Fool enough to pay.
Sir Charles Meriwill
But, Sir, consider, he's your own Flesh and Blood.
Sir Timothy Treatall
That's more than I'll swear.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Your only Heir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
That's more than you or any of his wise Associates can tell, Sir.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 5
Page No 8
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why his wise Associates? Have you any Exception to the Company he keeps? This reflects on me and young
Dresswell, Sir, Men both of Birth and Fortune.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why, good Sir Charles Meriwill, let me tell you, since you'll have it out, That you and young Dresswell are
able to debauch, destroy, and confound all the young imitating Fops in Town.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How, Sir!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Nay, never huff, Sir; for I have six thousand Pound a Year, and value no Man: Neither do I speak so much for
your particular, as for the Company you keep, such Tarmagant Tories as these, To Fop.
who are the very Vermin of a young Heir, and for one tickling give him a thousand bites.
Foppington
Death! meaning me, Sir?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, you, Sir. Nay, never stare, Sir; I fear you not; No Man's hectoring signifies this in the City, but the
Constables: no body dares be saucy here, except it be in the King's name.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Sir, I confess he was to blame.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Sir Charles, thanks to Heaven, you may be leud, you have a plentiful Estate, may whore, drink, game, and
play the Devil: your Uncle, Sir Anthony Meriwill, intends to give you all his Estate too. But for such Sparks
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 6
Page No 9
as this, and my Fop in Fashion here, why, with what Face, Conscience, or Religion, can they be leud and
vitious, keep their Wenches, Coaches, rich Liveries, and so forth, who live upon Charity, and the Sins of the
Nation?
Sir Charles Meriwill
If he hath youthful Vices, he has Virtues too.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, he had, but I know not, you have bewitch'd him amongst ye. weeping.
Before he fell to Toryism, he was a sober, civil Youth, and had some Religion in him, wou'd read ye Prayers
Night and Morning with a laudable Voice, and cry Amen to 'em; 'twou'd have done one's Heart good to have
heard him wore decent Clothes, was drunk but on Sundays and Holidays; and then I had Hopes of him.
Still weeping.
Tom Wilding
Ay, Heaven forgive me.
Sir Charles Meriwill
But, Sir, he's now become a new Man, is casting off all his Women, is drunk not above five or six times a
week, swears not above once in a quarter of an Hour, nor has not gam'd this two Days
Sir Timothy Treatall
'Twas because the Devil was in's Pocket then.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Begins to take up at Coffeehouses, talks gravely in the City, speaks scandalously of the Government, and
rails most abominably against the Pope and the French King.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, ay, this shall not wheedle me out of one English Guinea; and so I told him yesterday.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 7
Page No 10
Tom Wilding
You did so, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes; by a good Token you were witty upon me, and swore I lov'd and honoured the King no where but on his
Coin.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Is it possible, Sir.
Tom Wilding
God forgive me, Sir; I confess I was a little overtaken.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, so it shou'd seem: for he mistook his own Chamber, and went to bed to my Maid's.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How! to bed to your Maid's! Sure, Sir, 'tis scandal on him.
Sir Timothy Treatall
No, no, he makes his brags on't, Sir. Oh, that crying Sin of Boasting! Well fare, I say, the Days of old Oliver;
he by a wholesom Act made it death to boast; so that then a Man might whore his Heart out, and no body the
wiser.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Right, Sir, and then the Men pass'd for sober religious Persons, and the Women for as demure Saints
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 8
Page No 11
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, then there was no scandal; but now they do not only boast what they do, but what they do not.
Tom Wilding
I'll take care that fault shall be mended, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, so will I, if Poverty has any Feats of Mortification; and so farewel to you, Sir. Going.
Tom Wilding
Stay, Sir, are you resolv'd to be so cruel then, and ruin all my Fortunes now depending?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Most religiously
Tom Wilding
You are?
Sir Timothy Treatall
I am.
Tom Wilding
Death, I'll rob.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 9
Page No 12
Do and be hang'd.
Tom Wilding
Nay, I'll turn Papist.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Do and be damn'd.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Bless me, Sir, what a Scandal would that be to the Family of the Treatalls!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hum! I had rather indeed he turn'd Turk or Jew, for his own sake; but as for scandalizing me, I defy it: My
Integrity has been known ever since Forty one; I bought three Thousand a year in Bishops Lands, as 'tis well
known, and lost it at the King's return; for which I'm honour'd by the City. But for his farther Satisfaction,
Consolation, and Destruction, know, That I Sir Timothy Treatall, Knight and Alderman, do think my self
young enough to marry, d'ye see, and will wipe your Nose with a Son and Heir of my own begetting, and so
forth. Going away.
Tom Wilding
Death! marry!
Sir Charles Meriwill
Patience, dear Tom, or thou't spoil all.
Tom Wilding
Damn him, I've lost all Patience, and can dissemble no longer, though I lose all Very good, Sir; harkye, I
hope she's young and handsome; or if she be not, amongst the numerous lustystomacht Whigs that daily
nose your publick Dinners, some may be found, that either for Money, Charity, or Gratitude, may requite
your Treats. You keep open House to all the Party, not for Mirth, Generosity or good Nature, but for
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 10
Page No 13
Roguery. You cram the Brethren, the pious CityGluttons, with good Cheer, good Wine, and Rebellion in
abundance, gormandizing all Comers and Goers, of all Sexes, Sorts, Opinions and Religions, young
halfwitted Fops, hotheaded Fools, and Malecontents: You guttle and fawn on all, and all in hopes of
debauching the King's Liegepeople into Commonwealthsmen; and rather than lose a Convert, you'll pimp
for him. These are your nightly Debauches Nay, rather than you shall want it, I'll cuckold you my self in
pure Revenge.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How! Cuckold his own natural Uncle!
Sir Charles Meriwill
Oh, he cannot be so profane.
Tom Wilding
Profane! why he deny'd but now the having any share in me; and therefore 'tis lawful. I am to live by my
Wits, you say, and your old rich goodnatur'd Cuckold is as sure a Revenue to a handsome young Cadet, as a
thousand Pound a Year. Your tolerable Face and Shape is an Estate in the City, and a better Bank than your
Six per Cent. at any time.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well, Sir, since Nature has funisht you so well, you need but up and ride, show and be rich; and so your
Servant, witty Mr. Wilding. Goes out. He looks after him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Whilst I am labouring another's good, I quite neglect my own. This cursed, proud, disdainful Lady Galliard,
is ever in my Head; she's now at Church, I'm sure, not for Devotion, but to shew her Charms, and throw her
Darts amongst the gazing Croud; and grows more vain by Conquest. I'm near the Church, and must step in,
though it cost me a new Wound. Wild. stands pausing.
Tom Wilding
I am resolv'd Well, dear Charles, let's sup together to night, and contrive some way to be reveng'd of this
wicked Uncle of mine. I must leave thee now, for I have an Assignation here at Church.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 11
Page No 14
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hah! at Church!
Tom Wilding
Ay, Charles, with the dearest SheSaint, and I hope Sinner.
Sir Charles Meriwill
What, at Church? Pox, I shall be discover'd now in my Amours. That's an odd place for LoveIntrigues.
Tom Wilding
Oh, I am to pass for a sober, discreet Person to the Relations; but for my Mistress, she's made of no such
sanctify'd Materials; she is a Widow, Charles, young, rich, and beautiful.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hah! if this shou'd prove my Widow, now. Aside.
Tom Wilding
And though at her own dispose, yet is much govern'd by Honour, and a rigid Mother, who is ever preaching
to her against the Vices of Youth, and t'other end of the Town Sparks; dreads nothing so much as her
Daughter's marrying a villanous Tory. So the young one is forc'd to dissemble Religion, the best Mask to hide
a kind Mistress in.
Sir Charles Meriwill
This must be my Lady Galliard. Aside.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 12
Page No 15
There is at present some ill understanding between us; some damn'd Honourable Fop lays siege to her, which
has made me ill received; and I having a new Intrigue elsewhere, return her cold Disdain, but now and then
she crosses my Heart too violently to resist her. In one of these hot Fits I now am, and must find some
occasion to speak to her.
Sir Charles Meriwill
By Heaven, it must be she I am studying now, amongst all our SheAcquaintance, who this shou'd be.
Tom Wilding
Oh, this is of Quality to be conceal'd; but the dearest loveliest Hypocrite, white as Lillies, smooth as Rushes,
and plump as Grapes after a Shower, haughty her Mein, her Eyes full of Disdain, and yet bewitching sweet;
but when she loves soft, witty, wanton, all that charms a Soul, and but for now and then a fit of Honour, Oh,
damn the Nonsense! wou'd be all my own.
Sir Charles Meriwill
'Tis she, by Heaven! Aside.
Methinks this Widow shou'd prove a good Income to you, as things now stand between you and your Uncle.
Tom Wilding
Ah, Charles, but I am otherways dispos'd of. There is the most charming pretty thing in nature fallen in love
with this Person of mine, a rich CityHeiress, Charles, and I have her in possession.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How can you love two at once? I've been as wild and as extravagant, as Youth and Wealth cou'd render me;
but ne'er arrived to that degree of Leudness, to deal my Heart about: my Hours I might, but Love shou'd be
intire.
Tom Wilding
Ah, Charles, two such bewitching Faces wou'd give thy Heart the lye: But Love divides us, and I must
into Church. Adieu till Night. Exit.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 13
Page No 16
Sir Charles Meriwill
And I must follow, to resolve my Heart in what it dreads to learn. Here, my Cloke. Takes his Cloke from his
Man, and puts it on.
Hah, Church is done! See, they are coming forth! Enter People cross the Stage, as from Church; amongst
'em Sir Anthony Meriwill, follow'd by Sir Timothy Treatall.
Hah, my Uncle! He must not see me here. Throws his Cloke over his Face.
Sir Timothy Treatall
What my old Friend and Acquaintance, Sir Anthony Meriwill!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Sir Timothy Treatall!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why, how long have you been in Town, Sir?
Sir Anthony Meriwill
About three days, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Three days, and never came to dine with me! 'tis unpardonable! What, you keep close to the Church, I see:
You are for the Surplice still, old Orthodox you; the Times cannot mend you, I see.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
No, nor shall they mar me, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
They are discoursing; I'll pass by. Aside.
Ex. Sir Charles.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 14
Page No 17
Sir Anthony Meriwill
As I take it, you came from Church too.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, needs must when the Devil drives. I go to save my Bacon, as they say, once a Month, and that too after
the Porridge is serv'd up.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Those that made it, Sir, are wiser than we. For my part, I love good wholesom Doctrine, that teaches
Obedience to the King and Superiors, without railing at the Government, and quoting Scripture for Sedition,
Mutiny and Rebellion. Why here was a jolly Fellow this Morning made a notable Sermon. By George, our
CountryVicars are mere Scholars to your Gentlemen TownParsons! Hah, how he handled the Text, and
run Divisions upon't! 'twould make a Man sin with moderation, to hear how he claw'd away the Vices of the
Town, Whoring, Drinking, and Conventicling, with the rest of the deadly number.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Good lack! an he were so good at Whoring and Drinking, you'd best carry your Nephew, Sir Charles
Meriwill, to Church; he wants a little documentizing that way.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hum! you keep your old wont still; a Man can begin no Discourse to you, be it of Prester John, but you still
conclude with my Nephew.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Good Lord! Sir Anthony, you need not be so purty; what I say, is the Discourse of the whole City, how
lavishly you let him live, and give ill Examples to all young Heirs.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City! The City's a grumbling, lying, dissatisfy'd City, and no wise or honest Man regards what it says. Do
you, or any of the City, stand bound to his Scrivener or Taylor? He spends what I allow him, Sir, his own;
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 15
Page No 18
and you're a Fool, or Knave, chuse ye whether, to concern your self.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Good lack! I speak but what wiser Men discourse.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Wiser Men! wiser Coxcombs. What, they wou'd have me train my Nephew up, a hopeful Youth, to keep a
Merchant's Book, or send him to chop Logick in an University, and have him returned an arrant learned Ass,
to simper, and look demure, and start at Oaths and Wenches, whilst I fell his Woods, and grant Leases: And
lastly, to make good what I have cozen'd him of, force him to marry Mrs. Crump, the illfavour'd Daughter
of some Right Worshipful. A Pox of all of such Guardians!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Do, countenance Sin and Expences, do.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
What Sin, what Expences? He wears good Clothes, why, Tradesmen get the more by him; he keeps his
Coach, 'tis for his Ease; a Mistress, 'tis for his Pleasure; he games, 'tis for his Diversion: And where's the
harm of this? is there ought else you can accuse him with?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, a Pox upon him, he's my Rival too. Aside.
Why then I'll tell you, Sir, he loves a Lady.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
If that be a Sin, Heaven help the Wicked!
Sir Timothy Treatall
But I mean honourably
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 16
Page No 19
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Honourably! why do you know any Infirmity in him, why he shou'd not marry? Angrily.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Not I, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Not you, Sir? why then you're an Ass, Sir But is this Lady young and handsom?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, and rich too, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
No matter for Money, so she love the Boy.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Love him! No, Sir, she neither does, nor shall love him.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
How, Sir, nor shall love him! By George, but she shall, and lie with him too, if I please, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, Sir! lie with a rich CityWidow, and a Lady, and to be married to a fine Reverend old Gentleman
within a day or two?
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 17
Page No 20
Sir Anthony Meriwill
His Name, Sir, his Name; I'll dispatch him presently. Offers to draw.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, Sir, dispatch him! Your Servant, Sir. Offers to go.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hold, Sir! by this abrupt departure, I fancy you the Boy's Rival: Come, draw. Draws.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, draw, Sir!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Ay, draw, Sir; not my Nephew have the Widow!
Sir Timothy Treatall
With all my Soul, Sir; I love and honour your Nephew. I his Rival! alas, Sir, I'm not so fond of Cuckoldom.
Pray, Sir, let me see you and Sir Charles at my House, I may serve him in this business; and so I take my
leave, Sir Draw quotha! Pox upon him for an old Toryrory. Aside.
Exit.
Enter as from Church, L. Galliard, Closet, and Footman: Wilding passes carelessly by her, Sir Charles
Meriwill following, wrapt up in his Cloke.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Who's here? Charles muffled in a Cloke peering after a Woman? My own Boy to a Hair! She's handsom too.
I'll step aside; for I must see the meaning on't. Goes aside.
Lady Galliard
Bless me! how unconcern'd he pass'd!
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 18
Page No 21
Mrs. Closet
He bow'd low, Madam.
Lady Galliard
But 'twas in such a fashion, as exprest Indifferency, much worse than Hate from Wilding.
Mrs. Closet
Your Ladyship has us'd him ill of late; yet i your Ladyship please, I'll call him back.
Lady Galliard
I'll die first Hah, he's going! Yet now I think on't I have a Toy of his, which to express my scorn, I'll give
him back now this Ring.
Mrs. Closet
Shall I carry it, Madam?
Lady Galliard
You'll not express Disdain enough in the Delivery; and you may call him back. Clos. goes to Wild.
Sir Charles Meriwill
By Heaven, she's fond of him. Aside.
Tom Wilding
Oh, Mrs. Closet! is it you? Madam, your Servant: By this Disdain, I fear your Woman, Madam, has
mistaken her Man. Wou'd your Ladyship speak with me?
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 19
Page No 22
Lady Galliard
Yes. But what? the God of Love instruct me. Aside.
Tom Wilding
Command me quickly, Madam; for I have business.
Lady Galliard
Nay, then I cannot be discreet in Love. Aside.
Your business once was Love, nor had no idle hours
To throw away on any other thought;
You lov'd, as if you had no other Faculties,
As if you'd meant to gain eternal Bliss,
By that Devotion only: And see how now you're chang'd.
Tom Wilding
Not I, by Heaven; 'tis you are only chang'd.
I thought you'd lov'd me too, curse on the dull mistake!
But when I beg'd to reap the mighty Joy
That mutual Love affords,
You turn'd me off from Honour,
That Nothing, fram'd by some old sullen Maid,
That wanted Charms to kindle Flames when young.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
By George, he's i'th' right. Aside.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Death! can she hear this Language? Aside.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 20
Page No 23
How dare you name this to me any more?
Have you forgot my Fortune, and my Youth,
My Quality, and Fame?
Tom Wilding
No, by Heaven, all these increase my Flame.
Lady Galliard
Perhaps they might, but yet I wonder where
You got the boldness to approach me with it.
Tom Wilding
Faith, Madam, from your own encouragement.
Lady Galliard
From mine! Heavens, what Contempt is this?
Tom Wilding
When first I paid my Vows, (good Heaven forgive me)
They were for Honour all;
But wiser you, thanks to your Mother's care too,
Knowing my Fortune an uncertain hope,
My Life of Scandal, and my leud Opinion,
Forbad me wish that way; 'twas kindly urg'd;
You cou'd not then forbid my Passion too,
Nor did I ever from your Lips or Eyes
Receive the cruel Sentence of my Death.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Gad, a fine Fellow this!
Lady Galliard
To save my Life, I wou'd not marry thee.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 21
Page No 24
Tom Wilding
That's kindly said.
But to save mine, thou't do a kinder thing;
I know thou wo't.
Lady Galliard
What, yield my Honour up!
And after find it sacrific'd anew,
And made the scorn of a triumphing Wife!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Gad, she's i'th' right too! a noble Girl I'll warrant her.
Lady Galliard
But you disdain to satisfy these fears;
And like a proud and haughty Conqueror,
Demand the Town, without the least Conditions.
Sir Charles Meriwill
By Heaven, she yields apace. Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Pox on't, wou'd I had ne'er seen her; now I have Legions of small Cupids at Hotcockles in my Heart.
Tom Wilding
Now I am pausing on that word Conditions.
Thou say'st thou wou't not have me marry thee;
That is, as if I lov'd thee for thy Eyes
And put 'em out to hate thee;
Or like our Stagesmitten Youth, who fall in Love with a
Woman for acting finely, and by taking her off the Stage,
deprive her of the only Charm she had,
Then leave her to ill Luck.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 22
Page No 25
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Gad
, he's i'th' right again too! a rare Fellow!
Tom Wilding
For, Widow, know, hadst thou more Beauty,
yet not all of 'em were half so great a Charm as they not
being mine.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hum! how will he make that out now?
Tom Wilding
The stealths of Love, the midnight kind Admittance,
The gloomy Bed, the soft breath'd murmuring Passion;
Ah, who can guess at Joys thus snatch'd by parcels?
The difficulty makes us always wishing,
Whilst on thy part, Fear makes still some resistance;
And every Blessing seems a kind of Rape.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
H'as don't! A Divine Fellow that; just of my Religion. I am studying now whether I was never acquainted
with his Mother. L. Gal. walks away. Wild. follows.
Lady Galliard
Tempt me no more! what dull unwary Flame
Possest me all this while! Confusion on thee, In Rage.
And all the Charms that dwell upon thy Tongue.
Diseases ruin that bewitching Form,
That with the soft feign'd Vows debaucht my Heart.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Heavens! can I yet endure! Aside.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 23
Page No 26
Lady Galliard
By all that's good, I'll marry instantly;
Marry, and save my last Stake, Honour, yet,
Or thou wilt rook me out of all at last.
Tom Wilding
Marry! thou canst not do a better thing;
There are a thousand Matrimonial Fops,
Fine Fools of Fortune,
Goodnatur'd Blockheads too, and that's a wonder.
Lady Galliard
That will be manag'd by a Man of Wit.
Tom Wilding
Right.
Lady Galliard
I have an eye upon a Friend of yours.
Tom Wilding
A Friend of mine! then he must be my Cuckold.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Very fine! can I endure yet more? Aside.
Lady Galliard
Perhaps it is your Uncle.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 24
Page No 27
Tom Wilding
Hah, my Uncle! Sir Charles makes up to 'em.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hah, my Charles! why, well said, Charles, he bore up briskly to her.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Ah, Madam, may I presume to tell you
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Ah, Pox, that was stark naught! he begins like a Foreman o'th' Shop, to his Master's Daughter.
Tom Wilding
How, Charles Meriwill acquainted with my Widow!
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why do you wear that scorn upon your Face?
I've nought but honest meaning in my Passion,
Whilst him you favour so profanes your Beauties,
In scorn of Marriage and Religious Rites,
Attempts the ruin of your sacred Honour.
Lady Galliard
Hah, Wilding boast my Love! Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The Devil take him, my Nephew's quite spoil'd! Why, what a Pox has he to do with Honour now?
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 25
Page No 28
Lady Galliard
Pray leave me, Sir.
Tom Wilding
Damn it, since he knows all, I'll boldly own my flame.
You take a liberty I never gave you, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How, this from thee! nay, then I must take more.
And ask you where you borrow'd that Brutality,
T' approach that Lady with your saucy Passion.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Gad, well done, Charles! here must be sport anon.
Tom Wilding
I will not answer every idle Question.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Death, you dare not.
Tom Wilding
How, dare not!
Sir Charles Meriwill
No, dare not; for if you did
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 26
Page No 29
Tom Wilding
What durst you, if I did?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Death, cut your Throat, Sir. Taking hold on him roughly.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hold, hold, let him have fair play, and then curse him that parts ye. Taking 'em asunder, they draw.
Lady Galliard
Hold, I command ye, hold!
Sir Charles Meriwill
There rest my Sword to all Eternity. Lays his Sword at her Feet.
Lady Galliard
Now I conjure ye both, by all your Honour,
If you were e'er acquainted with that Virtue,
To see my Face no more,
Who durst dispute your Interest in me thus,
As for a common Mistress, in your Drink. She goes out, and all but Wild. Sir Anth. and Sir Char. who
stands sadly looking after her.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A Heavenly Girl! Well, now she's gone, by George, I am for disputing your Title to her by dint of Sword.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I wo'not fight.
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 27
Page No 30
Tom Wilding
Another time will decide it, Sir. Wild. goes out.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
After your whining Prologue, Sir, who the Devil would have expected such a Farce? Come, Charles, take
up thy sword, Charles; and d'ye hear forget me this Woman.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Forget her, Sir! there never was a thing so excellent!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
You lye, Sirrah, you lye, there's a thousand
As fair, as young, and kinder by this day.
We'll into th' Country, Charles, where every Grove
Affords us rustick Beauties,
That know no Pride nor Painting,
And that will take it and be thankful, Charles;
Fine wholesom Girls that fall like ruddy Fruit,
Fit for the gathering, Charles.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Oh, Sir, I cannot relish the coarse Fare.
But what's all this, Sir, to my present Passion?
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Passion, Sir! you shall have no Passion, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
No Passion, Sir! shall I have Life and Breath?
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 28
Page No 31
It may be not, Sirrah, if it be my will and pleasure.
Why how now! saucy Boys be their own Carvers?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Sir, I am all Obedience. Bowing and sighing.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Obedience! Was ever such a Blockhead! why then, if I command it, you will not love this Woman?
Sir Charles Meriwill
No, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
No, Sir! But I say, Yes, Sir, love her me; and love her me like a Man too, or I'll renounce ye, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I've try'd all ways to win upon her Heart, Presented, writ, watcht, fought, pray'd, kneel'd, and wept.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Why, there's it now; I thought so: kneel'd and wept! a Pox upon thee I took thee for a prettier Fellow
You shou'd have huft and bluster'd at her door,
Been very impudent and saucy, Sir,
Leud, ruffling, mad; courted at all hours and seasons;
Let her not rest, nor eat, nor sleep, nor visit.
Believe me, Charles, Women love Importunity.
Watch her close, watch her like a Witch, Boy,
Till she confess the Devil in her, Love.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I cannot, Sir,
Her Eyes strike such an awe into my Soul
The City Heiress
WOMEN. 29
Page No 32
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Strike such a Fiddlestick. Sirrah, I say, do't; what, you can towse a Wench as handsomely You can be
leud enough upon occasion. I know not the Lady, nor her Fortune; but I'm resolv'd thou shalt have her, with
practising a little Courtship of my Mode. Come
Come, my Boy Charles, since thou must needs be doing,
I'll shew thee how to go a Widowwooing.
Act 2
Scene 1
A Room.
Enter Charlot, Foppington, and Clacket.
Charlot
Enough, I've heard enough of Wilding's Vices, to know I am undone. Weeps.
Galliard his Mistress too? I never saw her, but I have heard her fam'd for Beauty, Wit, and Fortune: That
Rival may be dangerous.
Foppington
Yes, Madam, the fair, the young, the witty Lady Galliard, even in the height of his Love to you; nay, even
whilst his Uncle courts her for a Wife, he designs himself for a Gallant.
Charlot
Wondrous Inconstancy and Impudence!
Mrs. Clacket
Nay, Madam, you may rely upon Mr. Foppington's Information; therefore if you respect your Reputation,
retreat in time.
Charlot
The City Heiress
Act 2 30
Page No 33
Reputation! that I forfeited when I ran away with your Friend, Mr. Wilding.
Mrs. Clacket
Ah, that ever I shou'd live to see Weeps
the sole Daughter and Heir of Sir Nicholas Gettall, ran away with one of the leudest Heathens about Town!
Charlot
How, your Friend, Mr. Wilding, a Heathen; and with you too, Mrs. Clacket! that Friend, Mr. Wilding, who
thought none so worthy as Mrs. Clacket, to trust with so great a Secret as his flight with me; he a Heathen!
Mrs. Clacket
Ay, and a poor Heathen too, Madam. 'Slife, if you must marry a Man to buy him Breeches, marry an honest
Man, a Religious Man, a Man that bears a Conscience, and will do a Woman some Reason Why, here's
Mr. Foppington, Madam; here's a Shape, here's a Face, a Back as strait as an Arrow, I'll warrant.
Charlot
How! buy him Breeches! Has Wilding then no Fortune?
Foppington
Yes, Faith, Madam, pretty well; so, so, as the Dice run; and now and then he lights upon a Squire, or so, and
between fair and foul Play, he makes a shift to pick a pretty Livelihood up.
Charlot
How! does his Uncle allow him no present Maintenance?
Foppington
No, nor future Hopes neither: Therefore, Madam, I hope you will see the Difference between him and a Man
of Parts, that adores you. Smiling and bowing.
The City Heiress
Act 2 31
Page No 34
Charlot
If I find all this true you tell me, I shall know how to value my self and those that love me. This may be
yet a Rascal. Enter Maid.
Maid
Mistress, Mr. Wilding's below. Exit.
Foppington
Below! Oh, Heaven, Madam, do not expose me to his Fury, for being too zealous in your Service. In great
Disorder.
Charlot
I will not let him know you told any thing, Sir.
Foppington
Death! to be seen here, would expose my Life. To Clacket.
Mrs. Clacket
Here, here, step out upon the Staircase, and slip into my Chamber. Going out, returns in fright.
Foppington
Owns, he's here; lock the Door fast; let him not enter.
Mrs. Clacket
Oh, Heavens, I have not the Key! hold it, hold it fast, sweet, sweet Mr. Foppington. Oh, should there be
Murder done, what a Scandal wou'd that be to the House of a true Protestant! Knocks.
The City Heiress
Act 2 32
Page No 35
Charlot
Heavens! what will he say or think, to see me shut in with a Man?
Mrs. Clacket
Oh, I'll say you're sick, asleep, or out of Humour.
Charlot
I'd give the World to see him. Knocks.
Tom Wilding
Without.
Charlot, Charlot! am I deny'd an entrance? By Heaven, I'll break the Door. Knocks again; Fop. still
holding it.
Foppington
Oh, I'm a dead Man, dear Clacket! Knocking still.
Mrs. Clacket
Oh, hold, Sir, Mrs. Charlot is very sick.
Tom Wilding
How, sick, and I kept from her!
Mrs. Clacket
She begs you'll come again an Hour hence.
The City Heiress
Act 2 33
Page No 36
Tom Wilding
Delay'd! by Heaven, I will have entrance.
Foppington
Ruin'd! undone! for if he do not kill me, he may starve me.
Mrs. Clacket
Oh, he will not break in upon us! Hold, Sir, hold a little; Mrs. Charlot is just just shifting her self, Sir;
you will not be so uncivil as to press in, I hope, at such a Time.
Charlot
I have a fine time on't, between ye, to have him think I am stripping my self before Mr. Foppington Let
go, or I'll call out and tell him all. Wild. breaks open the Door and rushes in: Fop. stands close up at the
entrance till he is past him, then venturing to slip out, finds Wild. has made fast the Door: so he is
forc'd to return again and stand close up behind Wild. with signs of Fear.
Tom Wilding
How now, Charlot, what means this new Unkindness? what, not a Word?
Charlot
There is so little Musick in my Voice, you do not care to hear it: you have been better entertain'd, I find,
mightily employ'd, no doubt.
Tom Wilding
Yes, faith, and so I have, Charlot: damn'd Business, that Enemy to Love, has made me rude.
Charlot
The City Heiress
Act 2 34
Page No 37
Or that other Enemy to Love, damn'd Wenching.
Tom Wilding
Wenching! how ill hast thou tim'd thy Jealousy! What Banker, that to morrow is to pay a mighty Sum, wou'd
venture out his Stock to day in little Parcels, and lose his Credit by it?
Charlot
You wou'd, perfidious as you are, though all your Fortune, all your future Health, depended on that Credit.
Angry.
Tom Wilding
So, hark ye, Mrs. Clacket, you have been prating I find in my Absence, giving me a handsom Character to
Charlot You hate any good thing shou'd go by your own Nose. Aside to Clacket.
Mrs. Clacket
By my Nose, Mr. Wilding! I defy you: I'd have you to know, I scorn any good thing shou'd go by my Nose in
an uncivil way.
Tom Wilding
I believe so.
Mrs. Clacket
Have I been the Confident to all your Secrets this three years, in Sickness and in Health, for richer, for
poorer; conceal'd the Nature of your wicked Diseases, under the honest Name of Surfeits; call'd your filthy
Surgeons, Mr. Doctor, to keep up your Reputation; civilly receiv'd your t'other end of the Town young
Relations at all Hours
Tom Wilding
High!
The City Heiress
Act 2 35
Page No 38
Mrs. Clacket
Been up with you, and down with you early and late, by Night and by Day; let you in at all Hours, drunk and
sober, single and double; and civilly withdrawn, and modestly shut the Door after me?
Tom Wilding
What! The Storm's up, and the Devil cannot lay it.
Mrs. Clacket
And I am thus rewarded for my Pains! Weeps.
Tom Wilding
So Tempests are allay'd by Showers of Rain.
Mrs. Clacket
That I shou'd be charg'd with speaking ill of you, so honest, so civil a Gentleman
Charlot
No, I have better Witness of your Falshood.
Foppington
Hah, 'Sdeath, she'll name me!
Tom Wilding
What mean you, my Charlot? Do you not think I love you?
The City Heiress
Act 2 36
Page No 39
Charlot
Go ask my Lady Galliard, she keeps the best Account of all your Sighs and Vows, And robs me of my
dearest softer Hours. Kindly to him.
Mrs. Clacket
You cannot hold from being kind to him. Aside.
Tom Wilding
Galliard! How came she by that Secret of my Life? Aside.
Why, ay, 'tis true, I am there sometimes about an Arbitration, about a Suit in Law, about my Uncle.
Charlot
Ay, that Uncle too You swore to me you were your Uncle's Heir; But you perhaps may chance to get him
one, If the Lady prove not cruel.
Tom Wilding
Death and the Devil, what Rascal has been prating to her! Aside.
Charlot
Whilst I am reserv'd for a dead Lift, if Fortune prove unkind, or wicked Uncles refractory: Yet I cou'd love
you though you were a Slave, In a soft Tone to him.
And I were Queen of all the Universe.
Mrs. Clacket
Ay, there you spoil'd all again you forgot your self.
Charlot
And all the World when he looks kindly on me. But I'll take Courage and be very angry. Aside.
Nor do your Perjuries rest here; you're equally as false to Galliard, as to me; false for a little Mistress of the
The City Heiress
Act 2 37
Page No 40
Town, whom you've set up in spite to Quality. Angry.
Mrs. Clacket
So, that was home and handsom.
Tom Wilding
What damn'd Informer does she keep in pension?
Charlot
And can you think my Fortune and my Youth Merits no better Treatment? Angry.
How cou'd you have the Heart to use me so? Soft to him.
I fall insensibly to Love and Fondness. Aside.
Tom Wilding
Ah, my dear Charlot! you who know my Heart, can you believe me false?
Charlot
In every Syllable, in every Look;
Your Vows, your Sighs, and Eyes, all counterfeit.
You said you lov'd me, where was then your Truth?
You swore you were to be your Uncle's Heir;
Where was your Confidence of me the while.
To think my Generosity so scanted,
To love you for your Fortune?
How every Look betrays my yielding Heart! Aside.
No, since Men are grown so cunning in their
Trade of Love, the necessary Vice I'll practise too,
And chaffer with LoveMerchants for my Heart.
Make it appear you are your Uncle's Heir,
I'll marry ye to morrow.
Of all thy Cheats, that was the most unkind,
Because you thought to conquer by that Lye.
To night I'll be resolv'd.
The City Heiress
Act 2 38
Page No 41
Tom Wilding
Hum! to night!
Charlot
To night, or I will think you love me for my Fortune;
Which if you find elsewhere to more advantage,
I may unpitied die and I shou'd die
If you should prove untrue. Tenderly to him.
Mrs. Clacket
There you've dasht all again.
Tom Wilding
I'm resolv'd to keep my Credit with her
Here's my Hand;
This Night, Charlot, I'll let you see the Writings.
But how? a Pox on him that knows for Thomas. Aside.
Charlot
Hah! that Hand without the Ring! Nay, never study for a handsom Lye.
Tom Wilding
Ring? Oh, ay, I left it in my Dressingroom this Morning.
Charlot
See how thou hast inur'd thy Tongue to falshood!
Did you not send it to a certain Creature
They call Diana,
From off that Hand that plighted Faith to me?
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Act 2 39
Page No 42
By Heaven, 'tis Witchcraft all;
Unless this Villain Foppington betray me.
Those sort of Rascals would do any thing
For ready Meat and Wine I'll kill the Fool hah, here! Turns quick, and sees him behind him.
Foppington
Here, Lord! Lord!
Where were thy Eyes, dear Wilding?
Tom Wilding
Where they have spy'd a Rascal.
Where was this Property conceal'd?
Foppington
Conceal'd! What dost thou mean, dear Tom? Why, I stood as plain as the Nose on thy Face, mun.
Tom Wilding
But 'tis the ungrateful Quality of all your sort to make such base returns.
How got this Rogue Admittance, and when in,
The Impudence to tell his treacherous Lyes?
Foppington
Admittance! why thou art stark mad: Did not I come in with you, that is, follow'd you?
Tom Wilding
Whither?
Foppington
Why, into the House, up stairs, stood behind you when you swore you wou'd come in, and follow'd you in!
The City Heiress
Act 2 40
Page No 43
Tom Wilding
All this, and I not see!
Foppington
Oh, Love's blind; but this Lady saw me, Mrs. Clacket saw me Admittance quotha!
Tom Wilding
Why did you not speak?
Foppington
Speak! I was so amaz'd at what I heard, the villanous Scandals laid on you by some pickthank Rogue or
other, I had no Power.
Tom Wilding
Ay, thou know'st how I am wrong'd.
Foppington
Oh, most damnably, Sir!
Tom Wilding
Abuse me to my Mistress too!
Foppington
Oh, Villains! Dogs!
Charlot
The City Heiress
Act 2 41
Page No 44
Do you think thy have wrong'd him, Sir? for I'll believe you.
Foppington
Do I think, Madam? Ay, I think him a Son of a Whore that said it; and I'll cut his Throat.
Mrs. Clacket
Well, this Impudence is a heavenly Virtue.
Tom Wilding
You see now, Madam, how Innocence may suffer.
Charlot
In spite of all thy villanous dissembling, I must believe, and love thee for my quiet.
Tom Wilding
That's kind; and if before to morrow I do not shew you I deserve your Heart, kill me at once by quitting me
Farewel I know where both my Uncle's Will and other Writings lie, by which he made me Heir to his
whole Estate.
My Craft will be in catching; which if past,
Her Love secures me the kind Wench at last. Aside.
Goes out with Fop.
Mrs. Clacket
What if he should not chance to keep his Word now?
Charlot
How, if he shou'd not! by all that's good, if he shou'd not, I am resolv'd to marry him however. We two may
make a pretty Shift with three thousand Pound a year; yet I wou'd fain be resolv'd how Affairs stand between
the old Gentleman and him. I wou'd give the World to see that Widow too, that Lady Galliard.
The City Heiress
Act 2 42
Page No 45
Mrs. Clacket
If you're bent upon 't, I'll tell you what we'll do, Madam; There's every Day mighty Feasting here at his
Uncle's hard by, and you shall disguise your self as well as you can, and so go for a Niece of mine I have
coming out of Scotland; there you will not fail of seeing my Lady Galliard, though, I doubt, not Mr.
Wilding, who is of late discarded.
Charlot
Enough; I am resolv'd upon this Design; let's in and practise the northern Dialect.
Ex. both.
Scene 2
The Street.
Enter Wilding and Foppington.
Tom Wilding
But then Diana took the Ring at last?
Foppington
Greedily, but rail'd, and swore, and ranted at your late Unkindness, and wou'd not be appeas'd.
Enter Dresswell.
Tom Wilding
Dresswell, I was just going to see for thee.
Dresswell
I'm glad, dear Tom, I'm here to serve thee.
Tom Wilding
And now I've found thee, thou must along with me.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 43
Page No 46
Dresswell
Whither? but I'll not ask, but obey.
Tom Wilding
To a kind Sinner, Frank.
Dresswell
Pox on 'em all; prithee turn out those petty Tyrants of thy Heart, and fit it for a Monarch, Love, dear Wilding,
of which thou never knew'st the Pleasure yet, or not above a day.
Tom Wilding
Not knew the Pleasure! Death, the very Essence, the first Draughts of Love. Ah, how pleasant 'tis to drink
when a Man's a dry!
The rest is all but dully sipping on.
Dresswell
And yet this Diana, for thither thou art going, thou hast been constant to this three or four Years.
Tom Wilding
A constant Keeper thou mean'st; which is indeed enough to get the Scandal of a Coxcomb: But I know not,
those sort of Baggages have a kind of Fascination so inticing and faith, after the Fatigues of formal Visits
to a Man's dull Relations, or what's as bad, to Women of Quality; after the busy Afflictions of the Day, and
the Debauches of the tedious Night, I tell thee, Frank, a Man's best Retirement is with a soft kind Wench.
But to say Truth, I have a farther Design in my Visit now. Thou know'st how I stand past hope of Grace,
excommunicated the Kindness of my Uncle.
Dresswell
True.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 44
Page No 47
Tom Wilding
My leud Debauches, and being o'th' wrong Party, as he calls it, is now become an irreconcilable Quarrel, so
that I having many and hopeful Intrigues now depending, especially those of my charming Widow, and my
CityHeiress, which can by no means be carried on without that damn'd necessary call'd ready Mony; I have
stretcht my Credit, as all young Heirs do, till 'tis quite broke. New Liveries, Coaches, and Clothes must be
had, they must, my Friend.
Dresswell
Why do'st thou not in this Extremity clap up a Match with my Lady Galliard? or this young Heiress you
speak of?
Tom Wilding
But Marriage, Frank, is such a Bugbear! And this old Uncle of mine may one day be gathered together, and
sleep with his Fathers, and then I shall have six thousand Pound a Year, and the wide World before me; and
who the Devil cou'd relish these Blessings with the clog of a Wife behind him? But till then, Money must
be had, I say.
Foppington
Ay, but how, Sir?
Tom Wilding
Why, from the old Fountain, Jack, my Uncle; he has himself decreed it: He tells me I must live upon my
Wits, and will, Frank.
Foppington
Gad
, I'm impatient to know how.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 2 45
Page No 48
I believe thee, for thou art out at Elbows; and when I thrive, you show it i'th' Pit, behind the Scenes, and at
Coffeehouses. Thy Breeches give a better account of my Fortune, than Lilly with all his Schemes and Stars.
Foppington
I own I thrive by your influence, Sir.
Dresswell
Well, but to your Project, Friend, to which I'll set a helping Hand, a Heart, a Sword, and Fortune.
Tom Wilding
You make good what my Soul conceives of you. Let's to Diana then, and there I'll tell thee all. Going out,
they meet Diana, who enters with her Maid Betty, and Boy, looks angrily.
Diana, I was just going to thy Lodgings!
Diana
Oh, las, you are too much taken up with your rich CityHeiress.
Tom Wilding
That's no cause of quarrel between you and I, Diana: you were wont to be as impatient for my marrying, as I
for the Death of my Uncle; for your rich Wife ever obliges her Husband's Mistress; and Women of your sort,
Diana, ever thrive better by Adultery than Fornication.
Diana
Do, try to appease the easy Fool with these fine Expectations No, I have been too often flatter'd with the
hopes of your marrying a rich Wife, and then I was to have a Settlement; but instead of that, things go
backward with me, my Coach is vanish'd, my Servants dwindled into one necessary Woman and a Boy,
which to save Charges, is too small for any Service; my twenty Guineas a Week, into forty Shillings; a
hopeful Reformation!
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 2 46
Page No 49
Patience, Diana, things will mend in time.
Diana
When, I wonder? Summer's come, yet I am still in my embroider'd Manteau, when I'm drest, lin'd with
Velvet; 'twould give one a Fever but to look at me: yet still I am flamm'd off with hopes of a rich Wife,
whose Fortune I am to lavish. But I see you have neither Conscience nor Religion in you; I wonder what a
Devil will become of your Soul for thus deluding me! Weeps.
Tom Wilding
By Heaven, I love thee!
Diana
Love me! what if you do? how far will that go at the Exchange for Point? Will the Mercer take it for current
Coin? But 'tis no matter, I must love a Wit with a Pox, when I might have had so many Fools of Fortune:
but the Devil take me, if you deceive me any longer. Weeping.
Tom Wilding
You'll keep your word, no doubt, now you have sworn.
Diana
So I will. I never go abroad, but I gain new Conquests. Happy's the Man that can approach nearest the
Sidebox where I sit at a Play, to look at me; but if I deign to smile on him, Lord, how the overjoy'd Creature
returns it with a Bow low as the very Benches; Then rising, shakes his Ears, looks round with Pride, to see
who took notice how much he was in favour with charming Mrs. Dy.
Tom Wilding
No more, come, let's be Friends, Diana; for you and I must manage an Uncle of mine.
Diana
Damn your Projects, I'll have none of 'em.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 47
Page No 50
Tom Wilding
Here, here's the best softner of a Woman's Heart; 'tis Gold, two hundred Pieces: Go, lay it out, till you shame
Quality into plain Silk and Fringe.
Diana
Lord, you have the strangest power of persuasion! Nay, if you buy my Peace, I can afford a Pennyworth.
Tom Wilding
So thou canst of anything about thee.
Diana
Well, your Project, my dear Tommy?
Tom Wilding
Thus then Thou, dear Frank, shalt to my Uncle, tell him, that Sir Nicholas Gettall, as he knows, being
dead, and having left, as he knows too, one only Daughter his whole Executrix, Mrs. Charlot, I have by my
civil and modest Behaviour, so won upon her Heart, that two Nights since she left her Father's
Countryhouse at Lusum in Kent, in spite of all her strict Guards, and run away with me.
Dresswell
How, wilt thou tell him of it, then?
Tom Wilding
Hear me That I have hitherto secur'd her at a Friend's House here in the City; but diligent search being
now made, dare trust her there no longer: and make it my humble Request by you, my Friend, (who are only
privy to this Secret) that he wou'd give me leave to bring her home to his House, whose very Authority will
defend her from being sought for there.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 48
Page No 51
Dresswell
Ay, Sir, but what will come of this, I say?
Tom Wilding
Why, a Settlement; you know he has already made me Heir to all he has, after his decease: but for being a
wicked Tory, as he calls me, he has after the Writings were made, sign'd, and seal'd, refus'd to give 'em in
trust. Now when he sees I have made my self Master of so vast a Fortune, he will immediately surrender; that
reconciles all again.
Dresswell
Very likely; but wo't thou trust him with the Woman, Thomas.
Tom Wilding
No, here's Diana, who, as I shall bedizen, shall pass for as substantial an Alderman's Heiress as ever fell into
wicked Hands. He never knew the right Charlot, nor indeed has any body ever seen her but an old Aunt and
Nurse, she was so kept up And there, Diana, thou shalt have a good opportunity to lye, dissemble, and jilt
in abundance, to keep thy hand in ure. Prithee, dear Dresswell, haste with the News to him.
Dresswell
Faith, I like this well enough; this Project may take, and I'll about it. Goes out.
Tom Wilding
Go, get ye home, and trick and betauder your self up like a right CityLady, rich, but illfashion'd; on with
all your Jewels, but not a Patch, ye Gypsy, nor no Spanish Paint d'ye hear.
Diana
I'll warrant you for my part.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 2 49
Page No 52
Then before the old Gentleman, you must behave your self very soberly, simple, and demure, and look as
prew as at a Conventicle; and take heed you drink not off your Glass at Table, nor rant, nor swear: one Oath
confounds our Plot, and betrays thee to be an arrant Drab.
Diana
Doubt not my Art of Dissimulation.
Tom Wilding
Go, haste and dress Ex. Dian. Bet. and Boy.
Enter Lady Gall. and Closet, above in the Balcony; Wild. going out, sees them, stops, and reads a Paper.
Tom Wilding
Hah, who's yonder? the Widow! a Pox upon't, now have I not power to stir; she has a damn'd hank upon my
Heart, and nothing but right down lying with her will dissolve the Charm. She has forbid me seeing her, and
therefore I am sure will the sooner take notice of me. Reads.
Mrs. Closet
What will you put on to night, Madam? you know you are to sup at Sir Timothy Treatall's.
Lady Galliard
Time enough for that; prithee let's take a turn in this Balcony, this CityGarden, where we walk to take the
fresh Air of the Seacoal Smoak. Did the Footman go back, as I ordered him, to see how Wilding and Sir
Charles parted?
Mrs. Closet
He did, Madam, and nothing cou'd provoke Sir Charles to fight after your Ladyship's strict Commands.
Well, I'll swear he's the sweetest natur'd Gentleman has all the advantages of Nature and Fortune: I
wonder what Exception your Ladyship has to him.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
Scene 2 50
Page No 53
Some small Exception to his whining Humour; but I think my chiefest dislike is, because my Relations wish
it a Match between us. It is not hate to him, but natural contradiction. Hah, is not that Wilding yonder? he's
reading of a Letter sure.
Tom Wilding
So, she sees me. Now for an Art to make her lure me up: for though I have a greater mind than she, it shall be
all her own; the Match she told me of this Morning with my Uncle, sticks plaguily upon my Stomach; I must
break the Neck on't, or break the Widow's Heart, that's certain. If I advance towards the Door now, she
frowningly retires; if I pass on, 'tis likely she may call me. Advances.
Lady Galliard
I think he's passing on,
Without so much as looking towards the Window.
Mrs. Closet
He's glad of the excuse of being forbidden.
Lady Galliard
But, Closet, know'st thou not he has abus'd my Fame,
And does he think to pass thus unupbraided?
Is there no Art to make him look this way?
No Trick Prithee feign to laugh. Clos. laughs.
Tom Wilding
So, I shall not answer to that Call.
Lady Galliard
He's going! Ah, Closet, my Fan! Lets fall her Fan just as he passes by; he takes it up, and looks up.
Cry mercy, Sir, I am sorry I must trouble you to bring it.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 2 51
Page No 54
Faith, so am I; and you may spare my Pains, and send your Woman for't, I'm in haste.
Lady Galliard
Then the quickest way will be to bring it. Goes out of the Balcony with Closet.
Tom Wilding
I knew I should be drawn in one way or other.
Scene 3
Changes to a Chamber.
Enter L. Galliard, Wilding, Closet. To them Wilding, delivers the Fan, and is retiring.
Lady Galliard
Stay, I hear you're wondrous free of your Tongue, when 'tis let loose on me.
Tom Wilding
Who, I, Widow? I think of no such trifles.
Lady Galliard
Such Railers never think when they're abusive; but something you have said, a Lye so infamous!
Tom Wilding
A Lye, and infamous of you! impossible! What was it that I call'd you, Wise or Honest?
Lady Galliard
How can you accuse me with the want of either?
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 3 52
Page No 55
Yes, of both: Had you a grain of Honesty, or intended ever to be thought so, wou'd you have the impudence
to marry an old Coxcomb, a Fellow that will not so much as serve you for a Cloke, he is so visibly and
undeniably impotent?
Lady Galliard
Your Uncle you mean.
Tom Wilding
I do, who has not known the Joy of Fornication this thirty Year, and now the Devil and you have put it into
his Head to marry, forsooth. Oh, the Felicity of the WeddingNight!
Lady Galliard
Which you, with all your railing Rhetorick, shall not have power to hinder.
Tom Wilding
Not if you can help it; for I perceive you are resolved to be a leud incorrigible Sinner, and marry'st this
seditious doting Fool my Uncle, only to hang him out for the sign of the Cuckold, to give notice where
Beauty is to be purchas'd, for fear otherwise we should mistake, and think thee honest.
Lady Galliard
So much for my want of Honesty; my Wit is the part of the Text you are to handle next.
Tom Wilding
Let the World judge of that by this one Action: This Marriage undisputably robs you both of your Reputation
and Pleasure. Marry an old Fool, because he's rich! when so many handsome proper younger Brothers wou'd
be glad of you.
Lady Galliard
Of which hopeful number your self are one.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 53
Page No 56
Tom Wilding
Who, I! Bear witness, Closet; take notice I'm upon my Marriage, Widow, and such a Scandal on my
Reputation might ruin me; therefore have a care what you say.
Lady Galliard
Ha, ha, ha, Marriage! Yes, I hear you give it out, you are to be married to me: for which Defamation, if I be
not reveng'd, hang me.
Tom Wilding
Yes, you are reveng'd; I had the fame of vanquishing where'er I laid my Seige, till I knew thee, hardhearted
thee; had the honest Reputation of lying with the Magistrates Wives, when their Reverend Husbands were
employ'd in the necessary Affairs of the Nation, seditiously petitioning: and then I was esteemed; but now
they look on me as a monstrous thing, that makes honourable Love to you. Oh, hideous, a Husband Lover! so
that now I may protest, and swear, and lye my Heart out, I find neither Credit nor Kindness; but when I beg
for either, my Lady Galliard's thrown in my Dish: Then they laugh aloud, and cry, who wou'd think it of
gay, of fine Mr. Wilding? Thus the City Shewits are let loose upon me, and all for you, sweet Widow: but I
am resolv'd I will redeem my Reputation again, if never seeing you, nor writing to you more, will do it. And
so farewel, faithless and scandalous honest Woman.
Lady Galliard
Stay, Tyrant.
Tom Wilding
I am engag'd.
Lady Galliard
You are not.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 3 54
Page No 57
I am, and am resolv'd to lose no more time on a peevish Woman, who values her Honour above her Lover.
He goes out.
Lady Galliard
Go, this is the noblest way of losing thee.
Mrs. Closet
Must I not call him back?
Lady Galliard
No, if any honest Lover come, admit him; I will forget this Devil. Fetch me some Jewels; the Company to
night at Sir Timothy's may divert me. She sits down before her Glass.
Enter Boy.
Boy
Madam, one, Sir Anthony Meriwill, wou'd speak with your Ladyship.
Lady Galliard
Admit him; sure 'tis Sir Charles his Uncle; if he come to treat a Match with me for his Nephew, he takes me
in a critical Minute. Wou'd hebut leave his whining, I might love him, if 'twere but in Revenge. Enter
Sir Anthony Meriwill and Sir Charles.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
So, I have tutor'd the young Rogue, I hope he'll learn in time. Good Day to your Ladyship; Charles putting
him forward
my Nephew here, Madam Sirrah notwithstanding your Ladyship's Commands Look how he stands
now, being a mad young Rascal! Gad, he wou'd wait on your Ladyship A Devil on him, see if he'll
budge now For he's a brisk Lover, Madam, when he once begins. A Pox on him, he'll spoil all yet.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
Scene 3 55
Page No 58
Please you sit, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Madam, I beg your Pardon for my Rudeness.
Lady Galliard
Still whining? Dressing her self carelesly.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
D'ye hear that, Sirrah? oh, damn it, beg Pardon! the Rogue's quite out of's part.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Madam, I fear my Visit is unseasonable.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Unseasonable! damn'd Rogue, unseasonable to a Widow? Quite out.
Lady Galliard
There are indeed some Ladies that wou'd be angry at an untimely Visit, before they've put on their best Faces,
but I am none of those that wou'd be fair in spite of Nature, Sir Put on this Jewel here. To Clos.
Sir Charles Meriwill
That Beauty needs no Ornament, Heaven has been too bountiful.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Heaven! Oh Lord, Heaven! a puritanical Rogue, he courts her like her Chaplain. Aside, vext.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 56
Page No 59
Lady Galliard
You are still so full of University Complements
Sir Anthony Meriwill
D'ye hear that, Sirrah? Ay, so he is, indeed, Madam To her like a Man, ye Knave. Aside to him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Ah, Madam, I am come
Sir Anthony Meriwill
To shew your self a Coxcomb.
Lady Galliard
To tire me with Discourses of your Passion Fie, how this Curl fits! Looking in the Glass.
Sir Charles Meriwill
No, you shall hear no more of that ungrateful Subject.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Son of a Whore, hear no more of Love, damn'd Rogue! Madam, by George, he lyes; he does come to speak
of Love, and make Love, and to do Love, and all for Love Not come to speak of Love, with a Pox! Owns,
Sir, behave your self like a Man; be impudent, be saucy, forward, bold, touzing, and leud, d'ye hear, or I'll
beat thee before her: why, what a Pox! Aside to him, he minds it not.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Finding my Hopes quite lost in your unequal Favours to young Wilding, I'm quitting of the Town.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 57
Page No 60
Lady Galliard
You will do well to do so lay by that Necklace, I'll wear Pearl to day. To Clos.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Confounded Blockhead! by George, he lyes again, Madam. A Dog, I'll disinherit him. Aside.
He quit the Town, Madam! no, not whilst your Ladyship is in it, to my Knowledge. He'll live in the Town,
nay, in the Street where you live; nay, in the House; nay, in the very Bed, by George; I've heard him a
thousand times swear it. Swear it now, Sirrah: look, look, how he stands now! Why, dear Charles, good Boy,
swear a little, ruffle her, and swear, damn it, she shall have none but thee. Aside to him.
Why, you little think, Madam, that this Nephew of mine is one of the maddest Fellows in all Devonshire.
Lady Galliard
Wou'd I cou'd see't, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
See't! look ye there, ye Rogue Why, 'tis all his Fault, Madam. He's seldom sober; then he has a dozen
Wenches in pay, that he may with the more Authority break their Windows. There's never a Maid within
forty Miles of MeriwillHall to work a Miracle on, but all are Mothers. He's a hopeful Youth, I'll say that for
him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How I have lov'd you, my Despairs shall witness: for I will die to purchase your Content. She rises.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Die, a damn'd Rogue! Ay, ay, I'll disinherit him: A Dog, die, with a Pox! No, he'll be hang'd first, Madam.
Sir Charles Meriwill
And sure you'll pity me when I'm dead.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 58
Page No 61
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A curse on him; pity, with a Pox. I'll give him ne'er a Souse.
Lady Galliard
Give me that Essencebottle. To Clos.
Sir Charles Meriwill
But for a Recompence of all my Sufferings
Lady Galliard
Sprinkle my Handkerchief with Tuberose. To Clos.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I beg a Favour you'd afford a Stranger.
Lady Galliard
Sooner, perhaps. What Jewel's that? To Clos.
Mrs. Closet
One Sir Charles Meriwill
Lady Galliard
Sent, and you receiv'd without my Order! No wonder that he looks so scurvily. Give him the Trifle back to
mend his Humour.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 59
Page No 62
Sir Anthony Meriwill
I thank you, Madam, for that Reprimand. Look in that Glass, Sir, and admire that sneaking Coxcomb's
Countenance of yours: a pox on him, he's past Grace, lost, gone: not a Souse, not a Groat; good b'ye to you,
Sir. Madam, I beg your Pardon; the next time I come a wooing, it shall be for my self, Madam, and I have
something that will justify it too; but as for this Fellow, if your Ladyship have e'er a small Page at leisure, I
desire he may have Order to kick him down Stairs. A damn'd Rogue, to be civil now, when he shou'd have
behav'd himself handsomely! Not an Acre, not a Shilling buy Sir Softhead. Going out meets Wild. and
returns.
Hah, who have we here, hum, the fine mad Fellow? so, so, he'll swinge him, I hope; I'll stay to have the
pleasure of seeing it done. Enter Wilding, brushes by Sir Charles.
Tom Wilding
I was sure 'twas Meriwill's Coach at Door. Aside.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hah, Wilding!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Ay, now, Sir, here's one will waken ye, Sir. To Sir Char.
Tom Wilding
How now, Widow, you are always giving Audience to Lovers, I see.
Sir Charles Meriwill
You're very free, Sir.
Tom Wilding
I am always so in the Widow's Lodgings, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 3 60
Page No 63
A rare Fellow!
Sir Charles Meriwill
You will not do't elsewhere?
Tom Wilding
Not with so much Authority.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
An admirable Fellow! I must be acquainted with him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Is this the Respect you pay Women of her Quality?
Tom Wilding
The Widow knows I stand not much upon Ceremonies.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Gad, he shall be my Heir. Aside still.
Lady Galliard
Pardon him, Sir, this is his Cambridge Breeding.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Ay, so 'tis, so 'tis, that two Years there quite spoil'd him.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 61
Page No 64
Lady Galliard
Sir, if you've any further Business with me, speak it; if not, I'm going forth.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Madam, in short
Sir Anthony Meriwill
In short to a Widow, in short! quite lost.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I find you treat me ill for my Respect; And when I court you next, I will forget how very much I love you.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Sir, I shall be proud of your farther Acquaintance; for I like, love, and honour you. To Wild.
Tom Wilding
I'll study to deserve it, Sir.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Madam, your Servant. A damn'd sneaking Dog, to be civil and modest with a Pox! Ex. Sir Char. and
Sir Anth.
Lady Galliard
See if my Coach be ready. Ex. Clos.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 62
Page No 65
Tom Wilding
Whether are you janting now?
Lady Galliard
Where you dare not wait on me, to your Uncle's to Supper.
Tom Wilding
That Uncle of mine pimps for all the Sparks of his Party;
There they all meet and bargain without Scandal:
Fops of all sorts and sizes you may chuse,
Whigland offers not such another Market. Enter Closet.
Mrs. Closet
Madam, here's Sir Timothy Treatall come to wait on your Ladyship to Supper.
Tom Wilding
My Uncle! Oh, damn him, he was born to be my Plague: notDisinheriting me had not been so great a
Disappointment; and if he sees me here, I ruin all the Plots I've laid for him. Ha, he's here. Enter Sir Tim.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, my Nephew Thomas here!
Tom Wilding
Madam, I find you can be cruel too, Knowing my Uncle has abandon'd me.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How now, Sir, what's your Business here?
The City Heiress
Scene 3 63
Page No 66
Tom Wilding
I came to beg a Favour of my Lady Galliard, Sir, knowing her Power and Quality here in the City.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How a Favour of my Lady Galliard! The Rogue said indeed he would cuckold me. Aside.
Why, Sir, I thought you had been taken up with your rich Heiress?
Tom Wilding
That was my Business now, Sir: Having in my possession the Daughter and Heir of Sir Nicholas Gettall, I
would have made use of the Authority of my Lady Galliard's House to have secur'd her, till I got things in
order for our Marriage; but my Lady, to put me off, cries I have an Uncle.
Lady Galliard
A well contrived Lye. Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well, I have heard of your good Fortune; and however a Reprobate thou hast been, I'll not shew my self so
undutiful an Uncle, as not to give the Gentlewoman a little Houseroom: I heard indeed she was gone a week
ago, And, Sir, my House is at your Service.
Tom Wilding
I humbly thank you, Sir. Madam, your Servant. A pox upon him and his Association. Goes out.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Come, Madam, my Coach waits below.
Exit.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 64
Page No 67
Act 3
Scene 1
A Room.
Enter Sir Timothy Treatall, and Jervice.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Here, take my Sword, Jervice. What have you inquir'd, as I directed you, concerning the rich Heiress, Sir
Nicholas Getall's Daughter?
Jervice
Alas, Sir, inquir'd! why, 'tis all the CityNews that she's run away with one of the maddest Tories about
Town.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Good Lord! Ay, ay, 'tis so; the plaguy Rogue my Nephew has got her. That Heaven shou'd drop such
Blessings in the Mouths of the wicked! Well, Jervice, what Company have we in the House, Jervice?
Jervice
Why truly, Sir, a fine deal, considering there's no Parliament.
Sir Timothy Treatall
What Lords have we, Jervice?
Jervice
Lords, Sir, truly none.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
Act 3 65
Page No 68
None! what, ne'er a Lord! some mishap will befall me, some dire mischance! Ne'er a Lord! ominous,
ominous! our Party dwindles daily. What, nor Earl, nor Marquess, nor Duke, nor ne'er a Lord! Hum, my
Wine will lie most villanously upon my Hands to Night. Jervice, what, have we store of Knights and
Gentlemen?
Jervice
I know not what Gentlemen there be, Sir; but there are Knights, Citizens, their Wives and Daughters.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Make us thankful for that; our Meat will not lie upon our Hands then, Jervice: I'll say that for our little
Londoners, they are as tall Fellows at a wellcharg'd Board as any in Christendom.
Jervice
Then, Sir, there's NonconformistParsons.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Nay, then we shall have a clear Board; for your true Protestant Appetite in a LayElder, does a Man's Table
Credit.
Jervice
Then, Sir, there's Country Justices and GrandJuryMen.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well enough, well enough, Jervice. Enter Mrs. Sensure.
Mrs. Sensure
An't like your Worship, Mr. Wilding is come in with a Lady richly drest in Jewels, mask'd, in his Hand, and
will not be deny'd speaking with your Worship.
The City Heiress
Act 3 66
Page No 69
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hah, rich in Jewels! this must be she. My Sword again, Jervice. Bring 'em up, Sensure. Prithee how
do I look to Night, Jervice? Setting himself.
Jervice
Oh, most methodically, Sir. Enter Wild, with Diana, and Betty.
Tom Wilding
Sir, I have brought into your kind protection the richest Jewel all London can afford, fair Mrs. Charlot
Gettall.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Bless us, she's ravishing fair! Lady, I had the honour of being intimate with your worthy Father. I think he
has been dead
Diana
If he catechize me much on that point, I shall spoil all. Aside.
Alas, Sir, name him not; for if you do, weeping.
I'm sure I cannot answer you one Question.
Tom Wilding
For Heaven sake, Sir, name not her Father to her; the bare remembrance of him kills her. Aside to him.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, poor Soul! Lady, I beg your Pardon. How softhearted she is! I am in love; I find already a kind of
tickling of I know not what, run frisking through my Veins. Aside.
Betty
The City Heiress
Act 3 67
Page No 70
Ay, Sir, the good Alderman has been dead this twelvemonth just, and has left his Daughter here, my
Mistress, three thousand Pound a Year. Weeping.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Three thousand Pound a Year! Yes, yes, I am in love. Aside.
Betty
Besides Money, Plate, and Jewels.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I'll marry her out of hand, Aside.
Alas, I cou'd even weep too; but 'tis in vain. Well, Nephew, you may be gone now; for 'tis not necessary you
shou'd be seen here, d'ye see. Pushing him out.
Tom Wilding
You see, Sir, now, what Heaven has done for me; and you have often told me, Sir, when that was kind you
wou'd be so. Those Writings, Sir, by which you were so good to make me Heir to all your Estate, you said
you wou'd put into my possession, whene'er I made it appear to you I could live without 'em, or bring you a
Wife of Fortune home.
Sir Timothy Treatall
And I will keep my word; 'tis time enough. Putting him out.
Tom Wilding
I have, 'tis true, been wicked; but I shall now turn from my evil ways, establish my self in the religious City,
and enter into the Association. There want but these same Writings, Sir, and your good Character of me.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Thou shalt have both, all in good time, Man: Go, go thy ways, and I'll warrant thee for a good Character, go.
The City Heiress
Act 3 68
Page No 71
Tom Wilding
Ay, Sir, but the Writings, because I told her, Sir, I was your Heir; nay, forc'd to swear too, before she wou'd
believe me.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, alas! how shreudly thou wert put to't!
Tom Wilding
I told her too, you'd buy a Patent for me; for nothing woos a CityFortune like the hopes of a Ladyship.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I'm glad of that; that I can settle on her presently. Aside.
Tom Wilding
You may please to hint something to her of my godly Life and Conversation; that I frequent Conventicles,
and am drunk no where but at your true Protestant Consults and Clubs, and the like.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Nay, if these will please her, I have her for certain. Aside.
Go, go, fear not my good word.
Tom Wilding
But the Writings, Sir
Sir Timothy Treatall
Am I a Jew, a Turk? Thou shalt have any thing, now I find thee a Lad of Parts, and one that can provide so
well for thy Uncle. Aside.
The City Heiress
Act 3 69
Page No 72
Puts him out, and addresses himself to the Lady.
Tom Wilding
Wou'd they were hang'd that trust you, that have but the art of Legerdemain, and can open the JapanCabinet
in your Bedchamber, where I know those Writings are kept. Death, what a disappointment's here! I wou'd
ha' sworn this Sham had past upon him. Aside.
But, Sir, shall I not have the Writings now?
Sir Timothy Treatall
What, not gone yet! for shame, away; canst thou distrust thy own natural Uncle? Fie, away, Tom, away.
Tom Wilding
A Plague upon your damn'd Dissimulation, that never failing Badge of all your Party, there's always mischief
at the bottom on't; I know ye all; and Fortune be the Word. When next I see you, Uncle, it shall cost you
dearer. Exit.
Enter Jervice.
Jervice
An't please your Worship, Supper's almost over, and you are askt for.
Sir Timothy Treatall
They know I never sup; I shall come time enough to bid 'em welcome. Exit Jer.
Diana
I keep you, Sir, from Supper, and better Company.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Lady, Were I a Glutton, I cou'd be satisfy'd With feeding on those two bright starry Eyes.
The City Heiress
Act 3 70
Page No 73
Diana
You are a Courtier, Sir; we CityMaids do seldom hear such Language; in which you shew your kindness to
your Nephew, more than your thoughts of what my Beauty merits.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Lord, Lord, how innocent she is! Aside.
My nephew, Madam? yes, yes, I cannot chuse but be wondrous kind upon his score.
Diana
Nay, he has often told me, you were the best of Uncles, and he deserves your goodness, so hopeful a young
Gentleman.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Wou'd I cou'd see't. Aside.
Diana
So modest.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, ask my Maids. Aside.
Diana
So civil.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, to my Neighbours Wives. Aside.
But so, Madam, I find by this high Commendation of my Nephew, your Ladyship has a very slender opinion
The City Heiress
Act 3 71
Page No 74
of your devoted Servant the while: or else, Madam, with this not disagreeable Face and Shape of mine, six
thousand Pound a year, and other Virtues and Commodities that shall be nameless, I see no reason why I
shou'd not beget an Heir of my own Body, had I the helping hand of a certain victorious Person in the World,
that shall be nameless. Bowing and smirking.
Diana
Meaning me, I am sure; if I shou'd marry him now, and disappoint my dear Inconstant with an Heir of his
own begetting, 'twou'd be a most wicked Revenge for past Kindnesses. Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I know your Ladyship is studying now who this victorious Person shou'd be, whom I dare not name: but let it
suffice, she is, Madam, within a Mile of an Oak.
Diana
No, Sir, I was considering, if what you say be true,
How unadvisedly I have lov'd your Nephew,
Who swore to me he was to be your Heir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
My Heir, Madam! am I so visibly old to be so desperate?
No, I'm in my years of desires and discretion,
And I have thoughts, durst I but utter 'em;
But modestly say, Mum
Diana
I took him for the hopefullest Gentleman
Sir Timothy Treatall
Let him hope on, so will I; and yet, Madam, in consideration of your Love to him, and because he is my
Nephew, young, handsome, witty, and so forth, I am content to be so much a Parent to him, as if Heaven
please, to see him fairly hang'd.
The City Heiress
Act 3 72
Page No 75
Diana
How, Sir! In amaze.
Sir Timothy Treatall
He has deserv'd it, Madam: First, for lampooning the Reverend City with its noble Government, with the
Right Honourable Gownmen; libelling some for Feasting, and some for Fasting, some for Cuckolds, and
some for Cuckoldmakers; charging us with all the seven deadly Sins, the Sins of our Forefathers, adding
seven score more to the number; the Sins of FortyOne reviv'd again in EightyOne, with Additions and
Amendments; for which, though the Writings were drawn, by which I made him my whole Executor, I will
disinherit him. Secondly, Madam, he deserves hanging for seducing, and most feloniously bearing away a
young CityHeiress.
Diana
Undone, undone! Oh, with what Face can I return again!
What Man of Wealth or Reputation, now
Will think me worth the owning! Feigns to weep.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Yes, yes, Madam, there are honest, discreet, religious, and true Protestant Knights in the City, that wou'd be
proud to dignify and distinguish so worthy a Gentlewoman. Bowing and smiling.
Betty
Look to your hits, and take fortune by the forelock, Madam. Aside.
Alas, Madam, no Knight, and poor too!
Sir Timothy Treatall
As a Tory Poet.
Betty
Well, Madam, take Comfort; if the worst come to the worst, you have Estate enough for both.
The City Heiress
Act 3 73
Page No 76
Diana
Ay, Betty, were he but honest, Betty. Weeping.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Honest! I think he will not steal; but for his Body, the Lord have mercy upon't, for he has none.
Diana
'Tis evident, I am betray'd, abus'd;
H'as lookt and sigh'd, and talkt away my Heart;
H'as sworn, and vow'd, and flatter'd me to ruin. Weeping.
Sir Timothy Treatall
A small fault with him; he has flatter'd and sworn me out of many a fair Thousand: why, he has no more
Conscience than a Politician, nor no more Truth than a Narrative (under the Rose).
Diana
Is there no Truth nor Honesty i'th' World?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Troth, very little, and that lies all i'th' City amongst us sober Magistrates.
Diana
Were I a Man, how wou'd I be reveng'd!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Your Ladyship might do it better as you are were I worthy to advise you.
The City Heiress
Act 3 74
Page No 77
Diana
Name it.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why, by marrying your Ladyship's most assur'd Friend, and most humble Servant, Timothy Treatall of
London, Alderman. Bowing.
Betty
Ay, this is something, Mistress; here's Reason.
Diana
But I have given my Faith and Troth to Wilding, Betty.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Faith and Troth! We stand upon neither Faith nor Troth in the City, Lady. I have known an Heiress married
and bedded, and yet with the Advice of the wiser Magistrates, has been unmarried and consummated anew
with another, so it stands with our Interest: 'tis Law by Magna Charta. Nay, had you married my ungracious
Nephew, we might by this our Magna Charta have hang'd him for a Rape.
Diana
What, though he had my Consent?
Sir Timothy Treatall
That's nothing, he had not ours.
Diana
Then shou'd I marry you by stealth, the Danger wou'd be the same.
The City Heiress
Act 3 75
Page No 78
Sir Timothy Treatall
No, no, Madam, we never accuse one another; 'tis the poor Rogues, the Tory Rascals we always hang. Let
'em accuse me if they please; alas, I come off handsmooth with Ignoramus. Enter Jervice.
Jervice
Sir, there's such a calling for your Worship! They are all very merry, the Glasses go briskly about.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Go, go, I'll come when all the Healths are past; I love no Healths.
Jervice
They are all over, Sir, and the Ladies are for dancing; so they are all adjourning from the Diningroom hither,
as more commodious for that Exercise. I think they're coming, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hah, coming! Call Sensure to wait on the Lady to her Apartment. Enter Sensure.
And, Madam, I do most heartily recommend my most humble Address to your most judicious Consideration,
hoping you will most vigorously, and with all your might, maintain the Rights and Privileges of the
Honourable City; and not suffer the Force or Persuasion of any Arbitrary Lover whatsoever, to subvert their
antient and Fundamental Laws, by seducing and forcibly bearing away so rich and so illustrious a Lady: and,
Madam, we will unaminously stand by you with our Lives and Fortunes. This I learnt from a Speech at
the Election of a Burgess. Aside.
Leads her to the Door; She goes out with Betty and Sensure.
Enter Musick playing, Sir Anthony Meriwill dancing with a Lady in his Hand, Sir Charles with
Lady Galliard, several other Women and Men.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
singing.
Philander was a jolly Swain,
And lov'd by ev'ry Lass;
Whom when he met along the Plain,
He laid upon the Grass.
The City Heiress
Act 3 76
Page No 79
And here he kist, and there he play'd
With this and then the t'other,
Till every wanton smiling Maid
At last became a Mother.
And to her Swain, and to her Swain,
The Nymph begins to yield;
Ruffle, and breathe, then to't again,
Thou'rt Master of the Field.
Clapping Sir Charles Meriwill on the back.
Sir Charles Meriwill
And if I keep it not, say I'm a Coward, Uncle.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
More Wine there, Boys, I'll keep the Humour up. Enter Bottles and Glasses.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How! young Meriwill so close to the Widow Madam Addressing himself to her, Sir Char. puts him
by.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Sir Timothy, why, what a Pox dost thou bring that damn'd Puritanical, Schismatical, Fanatical,
SmallbeerFace of thine into good Company? Give him a full Glass to the Widow's Health.
Sir Timothy Treatall
O lack, Sir Charles, no Healths for me, I pray.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hark ye, leave that cozening, canting, sanctify'd Sneer of yours, and drink ye me like a sober loyal
Magistrate, all those Healths you are behind, from his sacred Majesty, whom God long preserve, with the rest
of the Royal Family, even down to this wicked Widow, whom Heaven soon convert from her leud designs
upon my Body. Pulling Sir Tim. to kneel.
The City Heiress
Act 3 77
Page No 80
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A rare Boy! he shall have all my Estate.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, the Widow a leud design upon his Body! Nay, then I am jealous. Aside.
Lady Galliard
I a leud design upon your Body; for what, I wonder?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why, for villanous Matrimony.
Lady Galliard
Who, I?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Who, you! yes, you.
Why are those Eyes drest in inviting Love?
Those soft bewitching Smiles, those rising Breasts,
And all those Charms that make you so adorable,
Is't not to draw Fools into Matrimony?
Sir Anthony Meriwill
How's that, how's that! Charles at his Adorables and Charms! He must have t'other Health, he'll fall to his old
Dogtrot again else. Come, come, every man his Glass; Sir Timothy, you are six behind: Come, come,
Charles, name 'em all. Each take a Glass, and force Sir Tim. on his knees.
Sir Charles Meriwill
The City Heiress
Act 3 78
Page No 81
Not bate ye an Ace, Sir. Come, his Majesty's Health, and Confusion to his Enemies. They go to force his
Mouth open to drink.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hold, Sir, hold, if I must drink, I must; but this is very arbitrary, methinks. Drinks.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
And now, Sir, to the Royal Duke of Albany. Musick, play a Scotch Jig. Music plays, they drink.
Sir Timothy Treatall
This is mere Tyranny. Enter Jervice.
Jervice
Sir, there is alighted at the Gate a Person of Quality, as appears by his Train, who give him the Title of a
Lord.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, a strange Lord! Conduct him up with Ceremony, Jervice 'Ods so, he's here! Enter Wilding in
disguise, Dresswell, and Footmen and Pages.
Tom Wilding
Sir, by your Reverend Aspect, you shou'd be the renown'd Mester de Hotel.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Mater de Otell! I have not the Honour to know any of that Name, I am call'd Sir Timothy Treatall.
Bowing.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Act 3 79
Page No 82
The same, Sir; I have been bred abroad, and thought all Persons of Quality had spoke French.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Not City Persons of Quality, my Lord.
Tom Wilding
I'm glad on't, Sir; for 'tis a Nation I hate, as indeed I do all Monarchies.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hum! hate Monarchy! Your Lordship is most welcome. Bows.
Tom Wilding
Unless Elective Monarchies, which so resemble a Commonwealth.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Right, my Lord; where every Man may hope to take his turn Your Lordship is most singularly welcome.
Bows low.
Tom Wilding
And though I am a Stranger to your Person, I am not to your Fame, amongst the sober Party of the
Amsterdamians, all the French Hugonots throughout Geneva; even to Hungary and Poland, Fame's
Trumpet sounds your Praise, making the Pope to fear, the rest admire you.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
I'm much oblig'd to the renowned Mobile.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Act 3 80
Page No 83
So you will say, when you shall hear my Embassy. The Polanders by me salute you, Sir, and have in this
next new Election prick'd ye down for their succeeding King.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, my Lord, prick'd me down for a King! Why, this is wonderful! Prick'd me, unworthy me down for a
King! How cou'd I merit this amazing Glory!
Tom Wilding
They know, he that can be so great a Patriot to his Native Country, where but a private Person, what must he
be when Power is on his side?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, my Lord, my Country, my bleeding Country! there's the stop to all my rising Greatness. Shall I be so
ungrateful to disappoint this big expecting Nation? defeat the sober Party, and my Neighbours, for any Polish
Crown? But yet, my Lord, I will consider on't: Mean time my House is yours.
Tom Wilding
I've brought you, Sir, the Measure of the Crown: Ha, it fits you to a Hair. Pulls out a Ribband, measures his
Head.
You were by Heav'n and Nature fram'd that Monarch.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Hah, at it again! Sir Charles making sober Love.
Come, we grow dull, Charles; where stands the Glass? What, balk my Lady Galliard's Health! They go to
drink.
Tom Wilding
Hah, Galliard and so sweet on Meriwill! Aside.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
Act 3 81
Page No 84
If it be your business, Sir, to drink, I'll withdraw.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Gad, and I'll withdraw with you, Widow. Hark ye, Lady Galliard, I am damnably afraid you cannot bear
Liquor well, you are so forward to leave good Company and a Bottle.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well, Gentlemen, since I have done what I never do, to oblige you, I hope you will not refuse a Health of my
Denomination.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
We scorn to be so uncivil. All take the Glasses.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why then here's a conceal'd Health that shall be nameless, to his Grace the King of Poland.
Sir Charles Meriwill
King of Poland! Lord, Lord, how your Thoughts ramble!
Sir Timothy Treatall
Not so far as you imagine; I know what I say, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Away with it. Drink all.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Act 3 82
Page No 85
I see, Sir, you still keep up that English Hospitality that so renowned our Ancestors in History. Looking on
L. Gal.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, my Lord, my noble Guests are my Wife and Children.
Tom Wilding
Are you not married, then? Death, she smiles on him. Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I had a Wife, but rest her Soul, she's dead; and I have no Plague left now but an ungracious Nephew,
perverted with ill Customs, Tantivy Opinions, and CourtNotions.
Tom Wilding
Cannot your pious Examples convert him? By Heaven, she's fond of him! Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, I have try'd all ways, fair and foul; nay, had settled t'other Day my whole Estate upon him, and just as I
had sign'd the Writings, out comes me a damn'd Libel, call'd, A Warning to all good Christians against the
CityMagistrates; and I doubt he had a Hand in Absalom and Achitophel, a Rogue. But some of our sober
Party have claw'd him home, i' faith, and given him Rhyme for his Reason.
Tom Wilding
Most visibly in Love! Oh, Sir, Nature, Laws, and Religion plead for so near a Kinsman.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Laws and Religion! Alas, my Lord, he deserves not the Name of a Patriot, who does not for the publick
Good, defy all Laws and Religion.
The City Heiress
Act 3 83
Page No 86
Tom Wilding
Death, I must interrupt 'em Sir, pray what Lady's that. Wild. salutes her.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I beseech your Lordship know her, 'tis my Lady Galliard; the rest are all my Friends and Neighbours, true
Protestants all Well, my Lord, how do you like my Method of doing the business of the Nation, and
carrying on the Cause with Wine, Women, and so forth?
Tom Wilding
High Feeding and smart Drinking, gains more to the Party, than your smart Preaching.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Your Lordship has hit it right: a rare Man this!
Tom Wilding
But come, Sir, leave serious Affairs, and oblige these fair ones. Addresses himself to Galliard, Sir Charles
puts him by.
Enter Charlot disguised, Clacket and Foppington.
Charlot
Heavens, Clacket, yonder's my False one, and that my lovely Rival. Pointing to Wild. and L. Gal.
Enter Diana and Sensure mask'd, and Betty.
Diana
Dear Mrs. Sensure, this Favour has oblig'd me.
Mrs. Sensure
The City Heiress
Act 3 84
Page No 87
I hope you'll not discover it to his Worship, Madam.
Tom Wilding
By her Mien, this shou'd be handsome Goes to Diana.
Madam, I hope you have not made a Resolution to deny me the Honour of your Hand.
Diana
Ha, Wilding! Love can discover thee through all Disguise.
Tom Wilding
Hah, Diana! wou'd 'twere Felony to wear a Vizard. Gad, I'd rather meet it on the King's Highway, with Stand
and Deliver, than thus encounter it on the Face of an old Mistress; and the Cheat were more excusable But
how Talks aside with her.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Nay, never frown nor chide: For thus do I intend to shew my Authority, till I have made thee only fit for me.
Tom Wilding
Is't so, my precious Uncle? Are you so great a Devil in Hypocrisy? Thus had I been serv'd, had I brought him
the right Woman. Aside.
Diana
But do not think, dear Tommy, I wou'd have serv'd thee so; married thy Uncle, and have cozen'd thee of thy
Birthright But see, we're observ'd. Charlot listening behind him all this while.
Charlot
By all that's good 'tis he! that Voice is his! He going from Dian. turns upon Charlot, and looks.
The City Heiress
Act 3 85
Page No 88
Tom Wilding
Hah, what pretty Creature's this, that has so much of Charlot in her Face? But sure she durst not venture; 'tis
not her Dress nor Mien. Dear pretty Stranger, I must dance with you.
Charlot
Gued deed, and see ye shall, Sir, gen you please. Though I's not dance, Sir, I's tell ya that noo.
Tom Wilding
Nor I, so we're well matcht. By Heaven, she's wondrous like her.
Charlot
By th' Mass not so kind, Sir: 'Twere gued that ene of us shou'd dance to guid the other weel.
Tom Wilding
How young, how innocent and free she is! And wou'd you, fair one, be guided by me?
Charlot
In any thing that gued is.
Tom Wilding
I love you extremely, and wou'd teach you to love.
Charlot
Ah, wele aday! Sighs and smiles.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Act 3 86
Page No 89
A thing I know you do not understand.
Charlot
Gued faith, and ya're i'th' right, Sir; yet 'tis a thing I's often hear ya gay men talk of.
Tom Wilding
Yes, and no doubt have been told those pretty Eyes inspired it.
Charlot
Gued deed, and so I have! Ya men make sa mickle ado about ens Eyes, ways me, I's ene tir'd with sicklike
Complements.
Tom Wilding
Ah, if you give us wounds, we must complain.
Charlot
Ye may ene keep out a harms way then.
Tom Wilding
Oh, we cannot; or if we cou'd, we wou'd not.
Charlot
Marry, and I's have ene a Song tol that tune, Sir.
Tom Wilding
Dear Creature, let me beg it.
The City Heiress
Act 3 87
Page No 90
Charlot
Gued faith, ya shall not, Sir, I's sing without entreaty.
SONG.
Ah, Jenny, gen your Eyes do kill,
You'll let me tell my Pain;
Gued Faith, I lov'd against my Will,
But wad not break my Chain.
I ence was call'd a bonny Lad,
Till that fair Face of yours
Betray'd the Freedom ence I had,
And ad my bleether Howers.
But noo ways me like Winter looks,
My gloomy showering Eyne,
And on the Banks of shaded Brooks
I pass my wearied time.
I call the Stream that gleedeth on,
To witness if it see,
On all the flowry Brink along,
A Swain so true as Iee.
Tom Wilding
This very Swain am I, so true and so forlorn, unless ye pity me. This is an excellency Charlot wants, at
least I never heard her sing. Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Why, Charles, where stands the Woman, Charles? Fop. comes up to Charlot.
Tom Wilding
I must speak to Galliard, though all my Fortunes depend on the Discovery of my self. Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Come, come, a cooling Glass about.
The City Heiress
SONG. 88
Page No 91
Tom Wilding
Dear Dresswell, entertain Charles Meriwill a little, whilst I speak to Galliard. The Men go all to the
drinking Table.
By Heaven, I die, I languish for a Word!
Madam, I hope you have not made a Vow
To speak with none but that young Cavalier.
They say, the Freedom English Ladies use,
Is, as their Beauty, great.
Lady Galliard
Sir, we are none of those of so nice and delicate a Virtue, as Conversation can corrupt; we live in a cold
Climate.
Tom Wilding
And think you're not so apt to be in Love,
As where the Sun shines oftner.
But you too much partake of the Inconstancy of this your fickle Climate. Maliciously to her.
One day all Sunshine, and th' encourag'd Lover
Decks himself up in glittering Robes of Hope;
And in the midst of all their boasted Finery
Comes a dark Cloud across his Mistress' Brow,
Dashes the Fool, and spoils the gaudy Show. L. Gal. observing him nearly.
Lady Galliard
Hah, do I not know that railing Tongue of yours?
Tom Wilding
'Tis from your Guilt, not Judgment then.
I was resolv'd to be to night a Witness
Of that sworn Love you flatter'd me so often with.
By Heaven, I saw you playing with my Rival,
Sigh'd, and lookt Babies in his gloating Eyes.
When is the Assignation? When the Hours?
For he's impatient as the raging Sea,
Loose as the Winds, and amorous as the Sun,
That kisses all the Beauties of the Spring.
The City Heiress
SONG. 89
Page No 92
Lady Galliard
I take him for a sober Person, Sir.
Tom Wilding
Have I been the Companion of his Riots
In all the leud course of our early Youth,
Where like unwearied Bees we gather'd Flowers?
But no kind Blossom could oblige our stay,
We rifled and were gone.
Lady Galliard
Your Virtues I perceive are pretty equal;
Only his Love's the honester o'th' two.
Tom Wilding
Honester! that is, he wou'd owe his good Fortune to the Parson of the Parish;
And I would be oblig'd to you alone.
He wou'd have a Licence to boast he lies with you,
And I wou'd do't with Modesty and Silence:
For Virtue's but a Name kept free from Scandal,
Which the most base of Women best preserve,
Since Jilting and Hypocrisy cheat the World best.
But we both love, and who shall blab the Secret? In a soft Tone.
Lady Galliard
Oh, why were all the Charms of speaking given
To that false Tongue that makes no better use of 'em?
I'll hear no more of your inchanting Reasons.
Tom Wilding
You must.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
SONG. 90
Page No 93
I will not.
Tom Wilding
Indeed you must.
Lady Galliard
By all the Powers above
Tom Wilding
By all the Powers of Love you'll break your Oath,
Unless you swear this Night to let me see you.
Lady Galliard
This Night.
Tom Wilding
This very Night.
Lady Galliard
I'd die first At what Hour? First turns away, then sighs and looks on him.
Tom Wilding
Oh, name it; and if I fail With Joy.
Lady Galliard
I wou'd not for the World
Tom Wilding
That I shou'd fail!
The City Heiress
SONG. 91
Page No 94
Lady Galliard
Not name the guilty Hour.
Tom Wilding
Then I through eager haste shall come too soon,
And do your Honour wrong.
Lady Galliard
My Honour! Oh, that Word!
Tom Wilding
Which the Devil was in me for naming. Aside.
At Twelve.
Lady Galliard
My Women and my Servants then are up.
Tom Wilding
At One, or Two.
Lady Galliard
So late! 'twill be so quickly Day!
Tom Wilding
Ay, so it will;
That half our Business will be left unfinisht.
Lady Galliard
Hah, what do you mean? what Business?
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 92
Page No 95
A thousand tender things I have to say;
A thousand Vows of my eternal Love;
And now and then we'll kiss and
Lady Galliard
Be extremely honest.
Tom Wilding
As you can wish.
Lady Galliard
Rather as I command: for should he know my wish, I were undone. Aside.
Tom Wilding
The Sign
Lady Galliard
Oh, press me not yet you may come at Midnight under my ChamberWindow. Sir Char. sees 'em so
close, comes to 'em.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hold, Sir, hold! Whilst I am listning to the Relation of your French Fortifications, Outworks, and
Counterscarps, I perceive the Enemy in my Quarters My Lord, by your leave. Puts him by, growing
drunk.
Charlot
Persuade me not; I burst with Jealousy. Wild. turns, sees Clacket.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 93
Page No 96
Death and the Devil, Clacket! then 'tis Charlot, and I'm discover'd to her.
Charlot
Say, are you not a false dissembling thing? To Wild. in anger.
Tom Wilding
What, my little Northern Lass translated into English!
This 'tis to practise Art in spite of Nature.
Alas, thy Vertue, Youth, and Innocence,
Were never made for Cunning,
I found ye out through all your forc'd disguise.
Charlot
Hah, did you know me then?
Tom Wilding
At the first glance, and found you knew me too,
And talkt to yonder Lady in revenge,
Whom my Uncle would have me marry. But to avoid
all Discourses of that nature, I came to Night in this
Disguise you see, to be conceal'd from her; that's all.
Charlot
And is that all, on Honour? Is it, Dear?
Tom Wilding
What, no Belief, no Faith in villanous Women?
Charlot
Yes, when I see the Writings.
The City Heiress
SONG. 94
Page No 97
Tom Wilding
Go home, I die if you shou'd be discover'd:
And credit me, I'll bring you all you ask.
Clacket, you and I must have an old Reckoning about this Night's Jant of yours. Aside to Clacket.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well, my Lord, how do you like our English Beauties?
Tom Wilding
Extremely, Sir; and was pressing this young Lady to give us a Song. Here is an Italian Song in two Parts.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I never saw this Lady before: pray who may she be, Neighbour? To Clacket.
Mrs. Clacket
A Niece of mine, newly come out of Scotland, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Nay, then she dances by nature. Gentlemen and Ladies, please you to sit, here's a young Neighbour of mine
will honour us with a Dance. They all sit; Charl. and Fop. dance.
So, so; very well, very well. Gentlemen and Ladies, I am for Liberty of Conscience, and Moderation. There's
a Banquet waits the Ladies, and my Cellars are open to the Men; but for my self, I must retire; first waiting
on your Lordship to shew you your Apartment, then leave you to cher entire: and to morrow, my Lord, you
and I will settle the Nation, and will resolve on what return we will make to the noble Polanders. Exeunt all
but Wild. Dres. and Fop. Sir Charles leading out Lady Galliard.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Well said, Charles, thou leav'st her not till she's thy own, Boy And Philander was a jolly Swain, &c. Exit
singing.
The City Heiress
SONG. 95
Page No 98
Tom Wilding
All things succeed above my Wish, dear Frank;
Fortune is kind; and more, Galliard is so;
This night crowns all my Wishes.
Laboir, are all things ready for our purpose? To his Footman.
Laboir
Dark Lanthorns, Pistols, Habits and Vizards, Sir.
Foppington
I have provided Portmantles to carry off the Treasure.
Dresswell
I perceive you are resolv'd to make a thorowstitch Robbery on't.
Foppington
Faith, if it lie in our way, Sir, we had as good venture a Caper under the TripleTree for one as well as
t'other.
Tom Wilding
We must consider on't. 'Tis now just struck eleven; within this Hour is the dear Assignation with Galliard.
Dresswell
What, whether our Affairs be finish'd or not?
Tom Wilding
'Tis but at next Door; I shall return time enough for that trivial Business.
The City Heiress
SONG. 96
Page No 99
Dresswell
A trivial Business of some six thousand pound a year?
Tom Wilding
Trivial to a Woman, Frank: no more; do you make as if you went to bed. Laboir, do you feign to be
drunk, and lie on the Halltable: and when I give the sign, let me softly in.
Dresswell
Death, Sir, will you venture at such a time?
Tom Wilding
My Life and future Hope I am resolv'd.
Let Politicians plot, let Rogues go on
In the old beaten Path of Forty one;
Let City Knaves delight in Mutiny,
The Rabble bow to old Presbytery;
Let petty States be to confusion hurl'd,
Give me but Woman, I'll despise the World.
Exeunt.
Act 4
Scene 1
A DressingRoom.
Lady Galliard is discover'd in an undress at her Table, Glass and Toilette, Closet attending: As soon as
the Scene draws off she rises from the Table as disturbed and out of Humour.
Lady Galliard
Come, leave your everlasting Chambermaid's Chat, your dull Road of Slandering by rote, and lay that Paint
aside. Thou art fuller of false News, than an unlicens'd Mercury.
Mrs. Closet
The City Heiress
Act 4 97
Page No 100
I have good Proof, Madam, of what I say.
Lady Galliard
Proof of a thing impossible! Away.
Mrs. Closet
Is it a thing so impossible, Madam, that a Man of Mr. Wilding's Parts and Person should get a CityHeiress?
Such a bonne Mien, and such a pleasant Wit!
Lady Galliard
Hold thy fluent Tattle, thou hast Tongue
Enough to talk an OysterWoman deaf:
I say it cannot be.
What means the panting of my troubled Heart!
Oh, my presaging Fears! shou'd what she says prove true,
How wretched and how lost a thing am I! Aside.
Mrs. Closet
Your Honour may say your Pleasure; but I hope
I have not liv'd to these Years to be impertinent No,
Madam, I am none of those that run up and down the
Town a Storyhunting, and a Lyecatching, and
Lady Galliard
Eternal Rattle, peace
Mrs. Charlot Gettall go away with Wilding!
A Man of Wilding's extravagant Life
Get a Fortune in the City!
Thou mightst as well have told me, a Holderforth were married to a Nun:
There are not two such Contraries in Nature,
'Tis flam, 'tis foolery, 'tis most impossible.
Mrs. Closet
I beg your Ladyship's Pardon, if my Discourse offend you; but all the World knows Mrs. Clacket to be a
person
The City Heiress
Act 4 98
Page No 101
Lady Galliard
Who is a most devout Baud, a precise Procurer;
A Saint in the Spirit, and Whore in the Flesh;
A Doer of the Devil's Work in God's Name.
Is she your Informer? nay, then the Lye's undoubted
I say once more, adone with your idle TittleTattle,
And to divert me, bid Betty sing the Song which Wilding made
To his last Mistress; we may judge by that,
What little Haunts, and what low Game he follows.
This is not like the Description of a rich Citizen's Daughter
and Heir, but some common Hackney of the Suburbs.
Mrs. Closet
I have heard him often swear she was a Gentlewoman, and liv'd with her Friends.
Lady Galliard
Like enough, there are many of these Gentlewomen who live with their Friends, as rank Prostitutes, as errant
Jilts, as those who make open profession of the Trade almost as mercenary But come, the Song.
Enter Betty.
SONG.
In Phillis all vile Jilts are met,
Foolish, uncertain, false, Coquette.
Love is her constant welcome Guest,
And still the newest pleases best.
Quickly she likes, then leaves as soon;
Her Life on Woman's a Lampoon.
Yet for the Plague of human Race,
This Devil has an Angel's Face;
Such Youth, such Sweetness in her Look,
Who can be Man, and not be took?
What former Love, what Wit, what Art,
Can save a poor inclining Heart?
In vain a thousand Times an hour
Reason rebels against her Power.
In vain I rail, I curse her charms;
One Look my feeble Rage disarms.
There is Inchantment in her Eyes;
Who sees 'em, can no more be wise.
Enter Wilding, who runs to embrace L. Gal.
The City Heiress
SONG. 99
Page No 102
Tom Wilding
Twelve was the lucky Minute when we met:
Most charming of your Sex, and wisest of all Widows,
My Life, my Soul, my Heaven to come, and here!
Now I have liv'd to purpose, since at last Oh, killing Joy!
Come, let me fold you, press you in my Arms,
And kiss you Thanks for this dear happy Night.
Lady Galliard
You may spare your Thanks, Sir, for those that will deserve 'em; I shall give you no occasion for 'em.
Tom Wilding
Nay, no scruples now, dearest of Dears, no more, 'Tis most unseasonable
I bring a Heart full fraight with eager Hopes,
Opprest with a vast Load of longing Love;
Let me unlade me in that soft white Bosom,
That Storehouse of rich Joys and lasting Pleasures,
And lay me down as on a Bed of Lillies. She breaks from him.
Lady Galliard
You're wondrous full of Love and Rapture, Sir; but certainly you mistake the Person you address 'em to.
Tom Wilding
Why, are you not my Lady Galliard, that very Lady Galliard, who, if one may take her Word for't, loves
Wilding? Am I not come hither by your own Appointment; and can I have any other Business here at this
time of night, but Love, and Rapture, and
Lady Galliard
Scandalous and vain! by my Appointment, and for so leud a purpose; guard me, ye good Angels.
If after an Affront so gross as this,
I ever suffer you to see me more,
Then think me what your Carriage calls me,
An impudent, an open Prostitute,
The City Heiress
SONG. 100
Page No 103
Lost to all sense of Virtue, or of Honour.
Tom Wilding
What can this mean? Aside.
Oh, now I understand the Mystery. Looking on Closet.
Her Woman's here, that troublesome piece of Train. I must remove her. Hark ye, Mrs. Closet, I had forgot
to tell you, as I came up I heard a Kinsman of yours very earnest with the Servants below, and in great haste
to speak with you.
Mrs. Closet
A Kinsman! that's very likely indeed, and at this time of night.
Tom Wilding
Yes, a very near Kinsman, he said he was your Father's own Mother's Uncle's Sister's Son; what d'ye call
him?
Mrs. Closet
Ay, what d'ye call him indeed? I shou'd be glad to hear his Name. Alas, Sir, I have no near Relation living
that I know of, the more's my Misfortune, poor helpless Orphan that I am. Weeps.
Tom Wilding
Nay, but Mrs. Closet, pray take me right, This Countryman of yours, as I was saying
Lady Galliard
Chang'd already from a Kinsman to a Countryman! a plain Contrivance to get my Woman out of the Room.
Closet, as you value my Service, stir not from hence.
Tom Wilding
This Countryman of yours, I say, being left Executor by your Father's last Will and Testament, is come
Dull Waitingwoman, I wou'd be alone with your Lady; know your Cue and retire.
The City Heiress
SONG. 101
Page No 104
Mrs. Closet
How, Sir!
Tom Wilding
Learn, I say, to understand Reason when you hear it. Leave us awhile; Love is not a Game for three to play
at. Gives her Mony.
Mrs. Closet
I must own to all the World, you have convinc'd me; I ask a thousand Pardons for my Dulness. Well, I'll be
gone, I'll run; you're a most powerful Person, the very Spirit of Persuasion I'll steal out You have such
a taking way with you But I forgot my self. Well, your most obedient Servant; whenever you've occasion,
Sir, be pleas'd to use me freely.
Tom Wilding
Nay, dear Impertinence, no more Complements, you see I'm busy now; prithee be gone, you see I am busy.
Mrs. Closet
I'm all Obedience to you, Sir Your most obedient
Lady Galliard
Whither are you fisking and giggiting now?
Mrs. Closet
Madam, I am going down, and will return immediately, immediately. Exit Clos.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 102
Page No 105
So, she's gone; Heaven and broad Gold be prais'd for the Deliverance. And now, dear Widow, let's lose no
more precious time; we have fool'd away too much already.
Lady Galliard
This to me!
Tom Wilding
To you, yes, to whom else should it be? unless being sensible you have not Discretion enough to manage
your own Affairs your self, you resolve like other Widows, with all you're Worth to buy a Governour,
commonly call'd a Husband. I took ye to be wiser; but if that be your Design I shall do my best to serve you
though to deal freely with you
Lady Galliard
Trouble not your self, Sir, to make Excuses; I'm not so fond of the Offer to take you at your Word. Marry
you! a Rakeshame, who have not Esteem enough for the Sex to believe your Mother honest without
Money or Credit, without Land either in present or prospect; and half a dozen hungry Vices, like so many
bauling Brats at your Back, perpetually craving, and more chargeable to keep than twice the number of
Children. Besides, I think you are provided for; are you not married to Mrs. Charlot Gettall?
Tom Wilding
Married to her! Do I know her, you shou'd rather ask. What Fool has forg'd this unlikely Lye? but suppose
'twere true, cou'd you be jealous of a Woman I marry? Do you take me for such an Ass, to suspect I shall love
my own Wife? On the other side, I have a great Charge of Vices, as you well observe, and I must not be so
barbarous to let 'em starve. Every body in this Age takes care to provide for their Vices, though they send
their Children a begging; I shou'd be worse than an Infidel to neglect them. No, I must marry some stiff
aukward thing or other with an ugly Face, and a handsom Estate, that's certain: but whoever is ordain'd to
make my Fortune, 'tis you only can make me happy Come, do it then.
Lady Galliard
I never will.
Tom Wilding
Unkindly said, you must.
The City Heiress
SONG. 103
Page No 106
Lady Galliard
Unreasonable Man! because you see
I have unusual Regards for you,
Pleasure to hear, and Trouble to deny you;
A fatal yielding in my Nature toward you,
Love bends my Soul that way
A Weakness I ne'er felt for any other;
And wou'd you be so base? and cou'd you have the Heart
To take th' advantage on't to ruin me,
To make me infamous, despis'd, loath'd, pointed at?
Tom Wilding
You reason false,
According to the strictest Rules of Honour,
Beauty should still be the Reward of Love,
Not the vile Merchandize of Fortune,
Or the cheap Drug of a ChurchCeremony.
She's only infamous, who to her Bed
For Interest takes some nauseous Clown she hates:
And though a Jointure or a Vow in publick
Be her Price, that makes her but the dearer Whore.
Lady Galliard
I understand not these new Morals.
Tom Wilding
Have Patience I say, 'tis clear:
All the Desires of mutual Love are virtuous.
Can Heav'n or Man be angry that you please
Your self, and me, when it does wrong to none?
Why rave you then on things that ne'er can be?
Besides, are we not alone, and private? who can know it?
Lady Galliard
Heaven will know 't; and I that, that's enough:
But when you are weary of me, first your Friend,
Then his, then all the World.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 104
Page No 107
Think not that time will ever come.
Lady Galliard
Oh, it must, it will.
Tom Wilding
Or if it should, could I be such a Villain
Ah cruel! if you love me as you say,
You wou'd not thus distrust me.
Lady Galliard
You do me wrong, I love you more than e'er
my Tongue,
Or all the Actions of my Life can tell you so well
Your very Faults, how gross soe'er to me,
Have something pleasing in 'em. To me you're all
That Man can praise, or Woman can desire;
All Charm without, and all Desert within.
But yet my Virtue is more lovely still;
That is a Price too high to pay for you;
The Love of Angels may be bought too dear,
If we bestow on them what's kept for Heaven.
Tom Wilding
Hell and the Devil! I'll hear no more
Of this religious Stuff, this godly Nonsense.
Death, Madam, do you bring me into your Chamber to
preach Virtue to me?
Lady Galliard
I bring you hither! how can you say it?
I suffer'd you indeed to come, but not
For the base end you fancy'd, but to take
A last Leave of you. Let my Heart break with Love,
I cannot be that wretched thing you'd have me;
Believe I still shall have a Kindness for you,
Always your Friend, your Mistress now no more.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 105
Page No 108
Cozen'd, abus'd, she loves some other Man!
Dull Blockhead, not to find it out before! Aside.
Well, Madam, may I at last believe
This is your fix'd and final Resolution?
And does your Tongue now truly speak your Heart,
That has so long bely'd it?
Lady Galliard
It does.
Tom Wilding
I'm glad on't. Good Night; and when I visit you again,
May you again thus fool me. Offers to go.
Lady Galliard
Stay but a Moment.
Tom Wilding
For what? to praise your Nightdress, or make
Court to your little Dog? No, no, Madam, send for Mr.
Flamfull, and Mr. Flutterbuz, Mr. Lapfool and Mr.
Loveall; they'll do it better, and are more at leisure.
Lady Galliard
Hear me a little: You know I both despise, and hate those civil Coxcombs, as much as I esteem and love you.
But why will you be gone so soon? and why are ye so cruel to urge me thus to part either with your good
Opinion or your Kindness? I wou'd fain keep 'em both. In a soft Tone.
Tom Wilding
Then keep your Word, Madam.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
SONG. 106
Page No 109
My Word! and have I promis'd then to be
A Whore? A Whore! Oh, let me think of that!
A Man's Convenience, his leisure Hours, his Bed of Ease,
To loll and tumble on at idle times;
The Slave, the Hackney of his lawless Lust!
A loath'd Extinguisher of filthy Flames,
Made use of, and thrown by Oh, infamous!
Tom Wilding
Come, come, you love me not, I see it plain;
That makes your Scruples; that, that's the Reason
You start at Words, and turn away from Shadows.
Already some pert Fop, some Ribbon Fool,
Some dancing Coxcomb, has supplanted me
In that unsteady treacherous Woman's Heart of yours.
Lady Galliard
Believe it if you will. Yes, let me be false, unjust, ungrateful, any thing but a Whore
Tom Wilding
Oh, Sex on purpose form'd to plague Mankind!
All that you are, and all you do's a Lye.
False are your Faces, false your floating Hearts;
False are your Quarrels, false your Reconcilements:
Enemies without Reason, and dear without Kindness;
Your Friendship's false, but much more false your Love;
Your damn'd deceitful Love is all o'er false.
Lady Galliard
False rather are the Joys you are so fond of.
Be wise, and cease, Sir, to pursue 'em farther.
Tom Wilding
No, them I can never quit, but you most easily:
A Woman changeable and false as you.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
SONG. 107
Page No 110
Said you most easily? Oh, inhuman!
Your cruel Words have wak'd a dismal Thought;
I feel 'em cold and heavy at my Heart,
And Weakness steals upon my Soul apace;
I find I must be miserable
I wou'd not be thought false. In a soft Tone, coming near him.
Tom Wilding
Nor wou'd I think you so; give me not Cause.
Lady Galliard
What Heart can bear distrust from what it loves?
Or who can always her own Wish deny? Aside.
My Reason's weary of the unequal Strife;
And Love and Nature will at last o'ercome.
Do you not then believe I love you? To him in a soft Tone.
Tom Wilding
How can I, while you still remain unkind?
Lady Galliard
How shall I speak my guilty Thoughts?
I have not Power to part with you; conceal my Shame, I doubt
I cannot, I fear I wou'd not any more deny you.
Tom Wilding
Oh heavenly Sound! Oh charming Creature!
Speak that word again, agen, agen! for ever let me hear it.
Lady Galliard
But did you not indeed? and will you never, never love Mrs. Charlot, never?
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
SONG. 108
Page No 111
Never, never.
Lady Galliard
Turn your Face away, and give me leave
To hide my rising Blushes: I cannot look on you, As this last Speech is speaking, she sinks into his Arms
by degrees.
But you must undo me if you will
Since I no other way my Truth can prove,
You shall see I love.
Pity my Weakness, and admire my Love.
Tom Wilding
All Heaven is mine, I have it in my Arms,
Nor can ill Fortune reach me any more.
Fate, I defy thee, and dull World, adieu.
In Love's kind Fever let me ever lie,
Drunk with Desire, and raving mad with Joy.
Exeunt into the Bedchamber, Wild. leading her with his Arms about her.
Scene 2
Changes. Another Room in Lady Galliard's House.
Enter Sir Charles Meriwill and Sir Anthony, Sir Charles drunk.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A Dog, a Rogue, to leave her!
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why, look ye, Uncle, what wou'd you have a Man do? I brought her to her Coach
Sir Anthony Meriwill
To her Coach! to her Coach! Did not I put her into your Hand, follow'd you out, wink'd, smil'd and nodded;
cry'd 'bye Charles, 'bye Rogue; which was as much as to say, Go home with her, Charles, home to her
Chamber, Charles; nay, as much as to say, Home to her Bed, Charles; nay, as much as to say Hum, hum,
a Rogue, a Dog, and yet to be modest too! That I shou'd bring thee up with no more Fear of God before thy
Eyes!
The City Heiress
Scene 2 109
Page No 112
Sir Charles Meriwill
Nay, dear Uncle, don't break my Heart now! Why, I did proffer, and press, and swear, and ly'd, and but a
pox on her, she has the damn'dst wheedling way with her, as dear Charles, nay prithee, fie, 'tis late, to
morrow, my Honour, which if you lov'd you wou'd preserve; and such obliging Reasons.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Reasons! Reason! a Lover, and talk of Reason! You lye, Sirrah, you lye. Leave a Woman for Reason, when
you were so finely drunk too, a Rascal!
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why look ye, d'ye see, Uncle, I durst not trust my self alone with her in this pickle, lest I shou'd ha' fallen foul
on her.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Why, there's it; 'tis that you shou'd have done; I am mistaken if she be not one of those Ladies that love to be
ravisht of a Kindness. Why, your willing Rape is all the Fashion, Charles.
Sir Charles Meriwill
But hark ye, Uncle.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Why, how now, Jacksauce, what, capitulate?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why, do but hear me, Uncle; Lord, you're so hasty! Why, look ye, I am as ready, d'ye see, as any Man on
these Occasions.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 2 110
Page No 113
Are you so, Sir? and I'll make you willing, or try Toledo with you, Sir Why, what, I shall have you
whining when you are sober again, traversing your Chamber with Arms across, railing on Love and Women,
and at last defeated, turn whipping Tom, to revenge your self on the whole Sex.
Sir Charles Meriwill
My dear Uncle, come kiss me and be friends; I will be rul'd. Kisses him.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A most admirable goodnatur'd Boy this! Aside.
Well then, dear Charles, know, I have brought thee now hither to the Widow's House, with a Resolution to
have thee order matters so, as before thou quitst her, she shall be thy own, Boy.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Gad, Uncle, thou'rt a Cherubin! Introduce me, d'ye see, and if I do not so woo the Widow, and so do the
Widow, that e'er morning she shall be content to take me for better for worse Renounce me! Egad, I'll
make her know the Lord God from Tom Bell, before I have done with her. Nay, backt by my noble Uncle, I'll
venture on her, had she all Cupid's Arrows, Venus's Beauty, and Messalina's Fire, d'ye see.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A sweet Boy, a very sweet Boy! Hum, thou art damnable handsome to Night, Charles Ay, thou wilt do't;
I see a kind of resistless Leudness about thee, a most triumphant Impudence, loose and wanton. Stands
looking on him.
Enter Closet.
Mrs. Closet
Heavens, Gentlemen, what makes you here at this time of Night?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Where's your Lady?
Mrs. Closet
The City Heiress
Scene 2 111
Page No 114
Softly, dear Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why, is she asleep? Come, come, I'll wake her. Offers to force in as to the Bedchamber.
Mrs. Closet
Hold, hold, Sir; No, no, she's a little busy, Sir.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I'll have no Business done to Night, Sweetheart.
Mrs. Closet
Hold, hold, I beseech you, Sir, her Mother's with her; For Heaven's sake, Sir, be gone.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I'll not budge.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
No, not a Foot.
Mrs. Closet
The City you know, Sir, is so censorious
Sir Charles Meriwill
Damn the City.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 112
Page No 115
Sir Anthony Meriwill
All the Whigs, Charles, all the Whigs.
Sir Charles Meriwill
In short, I am resolv'd, d'ye see, to go to the Widow's Chamber.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Harkye, Mrs. Closet, I thought I had entirely engag'd you this Evening.
Mrs. Closet
I am perfectly yours, Sir; but how it happens so, her Mother being there Yet if you wou'd withdraw for
half an hour, into my Chamber, till she were gone
Sir Anthony Meriwill
This is the Reason, Charles. Here, here's two Pieces to buy thee a Gorget. Gives her Money.
Sir Charles Meriwill
And here's my two, because thou art industrious. Gives her Money, and they go out with her.
Enter Lady Galliard in rage, held by Wilding.
Lady Galliard
What have I done? Ah, whither shall I fly? Weeps.
Tom Wilding
Why all these Tears? Ah, why this cruel Passion?
The City Heiress
Scene 2 113
Page No 116
Lady Galliard
Undone, undone! Unhand me, false, forsworn;
Be gone, and let me rage till I am dead.
What shou'd I do with guilty Life about me?
Tom Wilding
Why, where's the harm of what we two have done?
Lady Galliard
Ah, leave me
Leave me alone to sigh to flying Winds,
That the Infection may be borne aloft,
And reach no human Ear.
Tom Wilding
Cease, lovely Charmer, cease to wound me more.
Lady Galliard
Shall I survive this Shame? No, if I do,
Eternal Blushes dwell upon my Cheeks,
To tell the World my Crime.
Mischief and Hell, what Devil did possess me?
Tom Wilding
It was no Devil, but a Deity;
A little gay wing'd God, harmless and innocent,
Young as Desire, wanton as Summerbreezes,
Soft as thy Smiles, resistless as thy Eyes.
Lady Galliard
Ah, what malicious God,
Sworn Enemy to feeble Womankind,
Taught thee the Art of Conquest with thy Tongue?
Thy false deluding Eyes were surely made
Of Stars that rule our Sex's Destiny:
And all thy Charms were by Inchantment wrought,
That first undo the heedless Gazers on,
Then shew their natural Deformity.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 114
Page No 117
Tom Wilding
Ah, my Galliard, am I grown ugly then?
Has my increase of Passion lessen'd yours? In a soft Tone.
Lady Galliard
Peace, Tempter, Peace, who artfully betrayest me,
And then upbraidest the Wretchedness thou'st made.
Ah, Fool, eternal Fool! to know my Danger,
Yet venture on so evident a Ruin.
Tom Wilding
Say, what one Grace is faded?
Is not thy Face as fair, thy Eyes as killing?
By Heaven, much more! This charming change of Looks
Raises my Flame, and makes me wish t'invoke
The harmless God again. Embraces her.
Lady Galliard
By Heaven, not all thy Art
Shall draw me to the tempting Sin again.
Tom Wilding
Oh, I must, or die.
Lady Galliard
By all the Powers, by
Tom Wilding
Oh, do not swear, lest Love shou'd take it ill
That Honour shou'd pretend to give him Laws,
And make an Oath more powerful than his Godhead.
Say that you will half a long Hour hence
The City Heiress
Scene 2 115
Page No 118
Lady Galliard
Hah!
Tom Wilding
Or say a tedious Hour.
Lady Galliard
Death, never
Tom Wilding
Or if you promise me then to morrow.
Lady Galliard
No, hear my Vows.
Tom Wilding
Hold, see me die; if you resolve 'em fatal to my
Love, by Heaven I'll do't. Lays his Hand on his Sword.
Lady Galliard
Ah, what
Tom Wilding
Revoke that fatal Never then.
Lady Galliard
I dare not.
Tom Wilding
Oh, say you will.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 116
Page No 119
Lady Galliard
Alas, I dare not utter it.
Tom Wilding
Let's in, and thou shalt whisper it into my Bosom;
Or sighing, look it to me with thy Eyes.
Lady Galliard
Ah, Wilding Sighs.
Tom Wilding
It toucht my Soul! Repeat that Sigh again.
Lady Galliard
Ah, I confess I am but feeble Woman. Leans on him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Good Mistress Keepdoor, stand by: for I must enter. Sir Char. without.
Lady Galliard
Hah, young Meriwill's Voice!
Mrs. Closet
Pray, Sir Charles, let me go and give my Lady notice. She enters and goes to Wild.
For Heaven's sake, Sir, withdraw, or my Lady's Honour's lost.
Tom Wilding
What will you have me do? To Galliard.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 117
Page No 120
Lady Galliard
Be gone, or you will ruin me for ever. In disorder.
Tom Wilding
Nay, then I will obey.
Lady Galliard
Here, down the backstairs As you have Honour, go and cherish mine. Pulling him. He goes out.
He's gone, and now nethinks the shivering Fit of Honour is return'd. Enter Sir Charles, rudely
pushing Closet aside with Sir Anthony.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Deny'd an entrance! nay, then there is a
Rival in the Case, or so; and I'm resolv'd to discover the
Hellish Plot, d'ye see. Just as he enters drunk at one Door, Wild. returns at the other.
Lady Galliard
Ha, Wilding return'd! Shield me, ye Shades of Night. Puts out the Candles, and goes to Wild.
Tom Wilding
The BackStairs Door is lockt.
Lady Galliard
Oh, I am lost! curse on this fatal Night! Art thou resolv'd on my undoing every way.
Mrs. Closet
Nay, now we're by dark, let me alone to guide you, Sir. To Wild.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 118
Page No 121
Sir Charles Meriwill
What, what, all in darkness? Do you make Love like Cats, by Starlight? Reeling about.
Lady Galliard
Ah, he knows he's here! Oh, what a pain is Guilt! Aside.
Tom Wilding
I wou'd not be surpriz'd. As Closet takes him to lead him out, he takes out his Sword, and by dark pushes
by Sir Charles, and almost overthrows Sir Anth. at which they both draw, whilst he goes out with Closet.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hah, Gad, 'twas a Spark! What, vanisht! hah
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Nay, nay, Sir, I am for ye.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Are you so, Sir? and I am for the Widow, Sir, and Just as they are passing at each other, Closet enters
with a Candle.
Hah, why, what have we here? my nown Flesh and Blood? Embracing his Uncle.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Cry mercy, Sir! Pray, how fell we out?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Out, Sir! Prithee where's my Rival? where's the Spark, the Gad, I took thee for an errant Rival: Where is
he? Searching about.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 119
Page No 122
Lady Galliard
Whom seek ye, Sir, a Man, and in my Lodgings? Angrily.
Mrs. Closet
A Man! Merciful, what will this scandalous lying World come to? Here's no Man.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Away, I say, thou damn'd Domestick Intelligence, that comest out every half hour with some fresh Sham
No Man! What, 'twas an Appointment only, hum, which I shall now make bold to unappoint, render
null, void, and of none effect. And if I find him here, Searches about.
I shall very civilly and accidentally, as it were, being in perfect friendship with him pray, mark that run
him through the Lungs.
Lady Galliard
Oh, what a Coward's Guilt! what mean you, Sir?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Mean? why I am obstinately bent to ravish thee, thou hypocritical Widow, make thee mine by force, that so I
have no obligation to thee, and consequently use thee scurvily with a good Conscience.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A most delicate Boy! I'll warrant him as leud as the best of 'em, God grant him Life and Health. Aside.
Lady Galliard
'Tis late, and I entreat your absence, Sir: These are my Hours of Prayer, which this unseasonable Visit has
disturb'd.
Sir Charles Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 2 120
Page No 123
Prayer! No more of that, Sweetheart; for let me tell you, your Prayers are heard. A Widow of your Youth and
Complexion can be praying for nothing so late, but a good Husband; and see, Heaven has sent him just in the
crit critical minute, to supply your Occasions.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
A Wag, an arch Wag; he'll learn to make Lampoons presently. I'll not give Sixpence from him, though to the
poor of the Parish.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Come, Widow, let's to Bed. Pulls her, she is angry.
Lady Galliard
Hold, Sir, you drive the Jest too far; And I am in no humour now for Mirth.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Jest: Gad, ye lye, I was never in more earnest in all my Life.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
He's in a heavenly humour, thanks to good Wine, good Counsel, and good Company. Getting nearer the
Door still.
Lady Galliard
What mean you, Sir? what can my Woman think to see me treated thus?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Well thought on! Nay, we'll do things decently, d'ye see Therefore, thou sometimes necessary Utensil,
withdraw. Gives her to Sir Anth.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 121
Page No 124
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Ay, ay, let me alone to teach her her Duty. Pushes her out, and goes out.
Lady Galliard
Stay, Closet, I command ye. What have you seen in me shou'd move you to this rudeness? To Sir Char.
Sir Charles Meriwill
No frowning; for by this dear Night, 'tis Charity, care of your Reputation, Widow; and therefore I am resolv'd
no body shall lie with you but my self. You have dangerous Wasps buzzing about your Hive, Widow
mark that She flings from him.
Nay, no parting but upon terms, which, in short, d'ye see, are these: Down on your Knees, and swear me
heartily, as Gad shall judge your Soul, d'ye see, to marry me to morrow.
Lady Galliard
To morrow! Oh, I have urgent business then.
Sir Charles Meriwill
So have I. Nay, Gad, an you be for the nearest way to the Wood, the sober discreet way of loving, I am sorry
for ye, look ye. He begins to undress.
Lady Galliard
Hold, Sir, what mean you?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Only to go to Bed, that's all. Still undressing.
Lady Galliard
Hold, hold, or I'll call out.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 122
Page No 125
Sir Charles Meriwill
Ay, do, call up a Jury of your Female Neighbours, they'll be for me, d'ye see, bring in the Bill Ignoramus,
though I am no very true blue Protestant neither; therefore dispatch, or
Lady Galliard
Hold, are you mad? I cannot promise you to night.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Well, well, I'll be content with Performance then to night, and trust you for your Promise till to morrow.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
peeping.
Ah, Rogue! by George, he outdoes my Expectations of him.
Lady Galliard
What Imposition's this! I'll call for help.
Sir Charles Meriwill
You need not, you'll do my business better alone. Pulls her.
Lady Galliard
What shall I do? how shall I send him hence? Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
He shall ne'er drink small Beer more, that's positive; I'll burn all's Books too, they have help'd to spoil him;
and sick or well, sound or unsound, Drinking shall be his Diet, and Whoring his Study. Aside, peeping
unseen.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 123
Page No 126
Sir Charles Meriwill
Come, come, no pausing; your Promise, or I'll to Bed. Offers to pull off his Breeches, having pulled off
almost all the rest of his Clothes.
Lady Galliard
What shall I do? here is no Witness near: And to be rid of him I'll promise him; he'll have forgot it in his
sober Passion. Aside.
Hold, I do swear I will He fumbling to undo his Breeches.
Sir Charles Meriwill
What?
Lady Galliard
Marry you.
Sir Charles Meriwill
When?
Lady Galliard
Nay, that's too much Hold, hold, I will to morrow Now you are satisfy'd, you will withdraw? Enter
Sir Ant. and Closet.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Charles, Joy, Charles, give you Joy, here's two substantial Witnesses.
Mrs. Closet
I deny it, Sir; I heard no such thing.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 124
Page No 127
Sir Anthony Meriwill
What, what, Mrs. Closet, a Waitingwoman of Honour, and flinch from her Evidence! Gad, I'll damn thy
Soul if thou dar'st swear what thou say'st.
Lady Galliard
How, upon the Catch, Sir! am I betray'd?
Base and unkind, is this your humble Love?
Is all your whining come to this, false Man?
By Heaven, I'll be reveng'd. She goes out in a Rage with Closet.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Nay, Gad, you're caught, struggle and flounder as you please, Sweetheart, you'll but intangle more; let me
alone to tickle your Gills, i'faith. Looking after her.
Uncle, get ye home about your Business; I hope you'll give me the good morrow, as becomes me I say
no more, a Word to the Wise
Sir Anthony Meriwill
By George, thou'rt a brave Fellow; why, I did not think it had been in thee, Man. Well, adieu; I'll give thee
such a good morrow, Charles the Devil's in him! 'Bye, Charles a plaguy Rogue! 'night, Boy
a divine Youth!
Going and returning, as not able to leave him. Exit.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Gad, I'll not leave her now, till she is mine;
Then keep her so by constant Consummation.
Let Man o' God do his, I'll do my Part,
In spite of all her Fickleness and Art;
There's one sure way to fix a Widow's Heart.
Exit.
Act 5
The City Heiress
Act 5 125
Page No 128
Scene 1
Sir Timothy's House.
Enter Dresswell, Foppington, Laboir, and five or six more disguised with Vizards and dark Lanthorns.
Foppington
Not yet! a plague of this damn'd Widow: The Devil ow'd him an unlucky Cast, and has thrown it him to
night. Enter Wild. in Rapture and Joy.
Hah, dear Tom, art thou come?
Tom Wilding
I saw how at her length she lay! I saw her rising Bosom bare!
Foppington
A Pox of her rising Bosom! My dear, let's dress and about our Business.
Tom Wilding
Her loose thin Robes, through which appear A Shape design'd for Love and Play!
Dresswell
Sheart, Sir, is this a time for Rapture? 'tis almost day.
Tom Wilding
Ah, Frank, such a dear Night! Dress. A Pox of Nights, Sir, think of this and the Day to come: which I
perceive you were too well employ'd to remember.
Tom Wilding
The Day to come!
Death, who cou'd be so dull in such dear Joys,
To think of Time to come, or ought beyond 'em!
The City Heiress
Scene 1 126
Page No 129
And had I not been interrupted by Charles Meriwill, who, getting drunk, had Courage enough to venture on
an untimely Visit, I'd had no more power of returning, than committing Treason: But that conjugal Lover,
who will needs be my Cuckold, made me then give him way, that he might give it me another time, and so
unseen I got off. But come my Disguise. Dresses.
Dresswell
All's still and hush, as if Nature meant to favour our Design.
Tom Wilding
'Tis well: and hark ye, my Friends, I'll prescribe ye no Bounds, nor Moderation; for I have consider'd, if we
modestly take nothing but the Writings, 'twill be easy to suspect the Thief.
Foppington
Right; and since 'tis for the securing our Necks, 'tis lawful Prize Sirrah, leave the Portmantle here. Exeunt
as into the House.
After a small time, Enter Jervice undres'd, crying out, pursu'd by some of the Thieves.
Jervice
Murder, Murder! Thieves, Murder! Enter Wilding with his Sword drawn.
Tom Wilding
A plague upon his Throat; set a Gag in's Mouth and bind him, though he be my Uncle's chief Pimp so
They bind and gag him.
Enter Dresswell, and Laboir.
Dresswell
Well, we have bound all within hearing in their Beds, e'er they cou'd alarm their Fellows by crying out.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 1 127
Page No 130
'Tis well; come, follow me, like a kind MidnightGhost, I will conduct ye to the rich buried Heaps this
Door leads to my Uncle's Apartment; I know each secret Nook conscious of Treasure. All go in,
leaving Jervice bound on the Stage.
Enter Sensure running half undress'd, as from Sir Timothy's Chamber, with his VelvetCoat on her
Shoulders.
Mrs. Sensure
Help, help! Murder! Murder! Dres. Lab. and others pursue her.
Dresswell
What have we here, a Female bolted from Mr. Alderman's Bed? Holding a Lanthorn to his Face.
Mrs. Sensure
Ah, mercy, Sir, alas, I am a Virgin.
Dresswell
A Virgin! Gad and that may be, for any great Miracles the old Gentleman can do.
Mrs. Sensure
Do! alas, Sir, I am none of the Wicked.
Dresswell
That's well The sanctify'd Jilt professes Innocence, yet has the Badge of her Occupation about her Neck.
Pulls off the Coat.
Mrs. Sensure
Ah, Misfortune, I have mistook his Worship's Coat for my Gown. A little Book drops out of her Bosom.
The City Heiress
Scene 1 128
Page No 131
Dresswell
What have we here? A Sermon preacht by Richard Baxter, Divine. Gad a mercy, Sweetheart, thou art a
hopeful Member of the true Protestant Cause.
Mrs. Sensure
Alack, how the Saints may be scandaliz'd! I went but to tuck his Worship up.
Dresswell
And comment upon the Text a little, which I suppose may be, increase and multiply Here, gag, and bind
her. Exit Dres.
Mrs. Sensure
Hold, hold, I am with Child!
Laboir
Then you'll go near to miscarry of a Babe of Grace. Enter Wild. Fop. and others, leading iu Sir Timothy in
his Nightgown and NightCap.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Gentlemen, why, Gentlemen, I beseech you use a Conscience in what you do, and have a feeling in what you
go about Pity my Age.
Tom Wilding
Damn'd beggarly Conscience, and needless Pity
Sir Timothy Treatall
Oh, fearful But, Gentlemen, what is't you design? is it a general Massacre, pray? or am I the only Person
aim'd at as a Sacrifice for the Nation? I know, and all the World knows, how many Plots have been laid
against my self, both by Men, Women, and Children, the diabolical Emissaries of the Pope.
The City Heiress
Scene 1 129
Page No 132
Tom Wilding
How, Sirrah! Fiercely, he starts.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Nay, Gentlemen, not but I love and honour his Holiness with all my Soul; and if his Grace did but know what
I've done for him, d'ye see
Foppington
You done for the Pope, Sirrah! Why, what have you done for the Pope?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why, Sir, an't like ye, I have done you very great Service, very great Service; for I have been, d'ye see, in a
small Tryal I had, the cause and occasion of invalidating the Evidence to that degree, that I suppose no Jury
in Christendom will ever have the Impudence to believe 'em hereafter, shou'd they swear against his
Holiness and all the Conclave of Cardinals.
Tom Wilding
And yet you plot on still, cabal, treat, and keep open Debauch, for all the RenegadoTories and old
Commonwealthsmen to carry on the good Cause.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, what signifies that! You know, Gentlemen, that I have such a strange and natural Agility in turning I
shall whip about yet, and leave 'em all in the Lurch.
Tom Wilding
'Tis very likely; but at this time we shall not take your Word for that.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
Scene 1 130
Page No 133
Bloodyminded Men, are you resolv'd to assassinate me then?
Tom Wilding
You trifle, Sir, and know our Business better, than to think we come to take your Life, which wou'd not
advantage a Dog, much less any Party or Person Come, come, your Keys, your Keys.
Foppington
Ay, ay, discover, discover your Money, Sir, your ready
Sir Timothy Treatall
Money, Sir, good lack, is that all? Smiling on 'em.
Why, what a Beast was I, not knowing of your coming, to put out all my Money last Week to Alderman
Drawtooth? Alack, alack, what shift shall I make now to accommodate you? But if you please to come
again to morrow
Foppington
A shamming Rogue; the right Sneer and Grin of a dissembling Whig. Come, come, deliver, Sir; we are for no
Rhetorick but ready Money. Aloud and threatning.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hold, I beseech you, Gentlemen, not so loud; for there is a Lord, a most considerable Person, and a Stranger,
honours my House to night; I wou'd not for the world his Lordship shou'd be disturb'd.
Tom Wilding
Take no care for him, he's fast bound and all his Retinue.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, bound! my Lord bound, and all his People! Undone, undone, disgrac'd! What will the Polanders say,
that I shou'd expose their Embassador to this Disrespect and Affront?
The City Heiress
Scene 1 131
Page No 134
Tom Wilding
Bind him, and take away his Keys. They bind him hand and foot, and take his Keys out of his Bosom. Ex.
all.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, ay, what you please, Gentlemen, since my Lord's bound Oh, what Recompence can I make for so
unhospitable Use? I am a most unfortunate Magistrate: hah, who's there, Jervice? Alas, art thou here too?
What, canst not speak? but 'tis no matter and I were dumb too; for what Speech or Harangue will serve to beg
my Pardon of my Lord? And then my Heiress, Jervice, ay, my rich Heiress, why, she'll be ravisht: Oh
Heavens, ravisht! The young Rogues will have no Mercy, Jervice; nay, perhaps as thou say'st, they'll carry
her away. Oh, that thought! Gad, I rather the CityCharter were lost. Enter some with Bags of Money.
Why, Gentlemen, rob like Christians, Gentlemen.
Foppington
What, do you mutter, Dog?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Not in the least, Sir, not in the least; only a Conscience, Sir, in all things does well Barbarous Rogues.
They go out all again.
Here's your arbitrary Power, Jervice; here's the Rule of the Sword now for you: These are your Tory Rogues,
your tantivy Roysters; but we shall cry quits with you, Rascals, ere long; and if we do come to our old Trade
of Plunder and Sequestration, we shall so handle ye we'll spare neither Prince, Peer, nor Prelate. Oh, I
long to have a slice at your fat Churchmen, your CrapeGownorums. Enter Wild. Dresswell, Laboir, and
the rest, with more Bags.
Tom Wilding
A Prize, a Prize, my Lads, in ready Guineas; Contribution, my beloved.
Dresswell
Nay, then 'tis lawful Prize, in spite of Ignoramus and all his Tribe What hast thou here? To Fop. who
enters with a Bag full of Papers.
The City Heiress
Scene 1 132
Page No 135
Foppington
A whole Bag of Knavery, damn'd Sedition, Libels, Treason, Successions, Rights and Privileges, with a
newfashion'd Oath of Abjuration, call'd the Association. Ah, Rogue, what will you say when these shall
be made publick?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Say, Sir? why, I'll deny it, Sir; for what Jury will believe so wise a Magistrate as I cou'd communicate such
Secrets to such as you? I'll say you forg'd 'em, and put 'em in or print every one of 'em, and own 'em, as
long as they were writ and publisht in London, Sir. Come, come, the World is not so bad yet, but a Man may
speak Treason within the Walls of London, thanks be to God, and honest conscientious JuryMen. And as
for the Money, Gentlemen, take notice you rob the Party.
Tom Wilding
Come, come, carry off the Booty, and prithee remove that Rubbish of the Nation out of the way Your
servant, Sir. So, away with it to Dresswell's Lodgings, his Coach is at the Door ready to receive it. They
carry off Sir Timothy, and others take up the Bags, and go out with 'em.
Dresswell
Well, you are sure you have all you came for?
Tom Wilding
All's safe, my Lads, the Writings all
Foppington
Come, let's away then.
Tom Wilding
Away? what meanest thou? is there not a Lord to be found bound in his Bed, and all his People? Come,
come, dispatch, and each Man bind his Fellow.
The City Heiress
Scene 1 133
Page No 136
Foppington
We had better follow the Baggage, Captain.
Tom Wilding
No, we have not done so ill, but we dare shew our Faces. Come, come, to binding.
Foppington
And who shall bind the last Man?
Tom Wilding
Honest Laboir, d'ye hear, Sirrah? you get drunk and lay in your Clothes under the HallTable; d'ye hear me?
Look to't, ye Rascal, and carry things discreetly, or you'll be hang'd, that's certain. Ex. Wild. and Dres.
Foppington
So, now will I i'th' Morning to Charlot, and give her such a Character of her Love, as if she have
Resentment, makes her mine. Exit Fop.
Sir Timothy Treatall
calls within.
Ho, Jenkins, Roger, Simon! where are these Rogues? none left alive to come to my Assistance? So ho, ho,
ho, ho! Rascals, Sluggards, Drones! so ho, ho, ho!
Laboir
So, now's my Cue and stay, I am not yet sober. Puts himself into a drunken Posture.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Dogs, Rogues, none hear me? Fire, fire, fire!
The City Heiress
Scene 1 134
Page No 137
Laboir
Water, water, I say; for I am damnable dry.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hah, who's there?
Laboir
What doleful Voice is that?
Sir Timothy Treatall
What art thou, Friend or Foe? In a doleful Tone.
Laboir
Very direful why, what the Devil art thou?
Sir Timothy Treatall
If thou'rt a Friend, approach, approach the wretched.
Laboir
Wretched! What art thou, Ghost, Hobgoblin, or walking Spirit? Reeling in with a Lanthorn in's Hand.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Oh, neither, neither, but mere Mortal, Sir Timothy Treatall, robb'd and bound. Coming out led by Laboir.
Laboir
The City Heiress
Scene 1 135
Page No 138
How, our generous Host!
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, one of my Lord's Servants! Alas, alas, how cam'st thou to escape?
Laboir
E'en by miracle, Sir; by being drunk, and falling asleep under the HallTable with your Worship's Dog Tory,
till just now a Dream of Smallbeer wak'd me: and crawling from my Kennel to secure the black Jack, I
stumbled upon this Lanthorn, which I took for one, till I found a Candle in't, which helps me to serve your
Worhsip. Goes to unbind his Hands.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hold, hold, I say; for I scorn to be so uncivil to be unbound before his Lordship: therefore run, Friend, to his
Honour's Chamber, for he, alas, is confined too.
Laboir
What, and leave his worthy Friend in distress? by no means, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Well then, come, let's to my Lord, whom if I be not asham'd to look in the Face, I am an errant Sarazen.
Exit Sir Tim. and Lab.
Scene 2
Changes to Wilding's Chamber. He is discover'd sitting in a Chair bound, his Valet bound by him; to
them Sir Timothy and Laboir.
Tom Wilding
Peace, Sirrah, for sure I hear some coming Villains, Rogues! I care not for my self, but for the good pious
Alderman. Sir Tim. as listening.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 136
Page No 139
Sir Timothy Treatall
Wonderful Goodness, for me! Alas, my Lord, this sight will break my Heart. Weeps.
Tom Wilding
Sir Timothy safe! nay, then I do forgive 'em.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, my Lord, I've heard of your rigid Fate.
Tom Wilding
It is my Custom, Sir, to pray an Hour or two in my Chamber, before I go to Bed; and having pray'd that
drousy Slave asleep, the Thieves broke in upon us unawares, I having laid my Sword aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Oh, Heavens, at his Prayers! damn'd Ruffians, and wou'd they not stay till you had said your Prayers?
Tom Wilding
By no Persuasion Can you not guess who they shou'd be, Sir?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Oh, some damn'd Toryrory Rogues, you may be sure, to rob a Man at his Prayers! why, what will this
World come to?
Tom Wilding
Let us not talk, Sir, but pursue 'em. Offering to go.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
Scene 2 137
Page No 140
Pursue 'em! alas, they're past our reach by this time.
Tom Wilding
Oh, Sir, they are nearer than you imagine: some that know each Corner of your House, I'll warrant.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Think ye so, my Lord? ay, this comes of keeping open House; which makes so many shut up their Doors at
Dinnertime. Enter Dresswell.
Dresswell
Good Morrow, Gentlemen! what, was the Devil broke loose to night?
Sir Timothy Treatall
Only some of his Imps, Sir, saucy Varlets, insupportable Rascals But well, my Lord, now I have seen your
Lordship at liberty, I'll leave you to your rest, and go see what Harm this night's Work has done.
Tom Wilding
I have a little Business, Sir, and will take this time to dispatch it in; my Servants shall to Bed, though 'tis
already day I'll wait on you at Dinner.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Your time; my House and all I have is yours; and so I take my Leave of your Lordship. Ex. Sir Tim.
Tom Wilding
Now for my angry Maid, the young Charlot;
'Twill be a Task to soften her to Peace;
She is all new and gay, young as the Morn,
Blushing as tender RoseBuds on their Stalks,
Pregnant with Sweets, for the next Sun to ravish.
Come, thou shalt along with me, I'll trust thy Friendship.
The City Heiress
Scene 2 138
Page No 141
Exeunt.
Scene 3
Changes to Diana's Chamber. She is discover'd dressing, with Betty.
Diana
Methinks I'm up as early as if I had a mind to what I'm going to do, marry this rich old Coxcomb.
Betty
And you do well to lose no time.
Diana
Ah, Betty, and cou'd thy Prudence prefer an old Husband, because rich, before so young, so handsom, and so
soft a Lover as Wilding?
Betty
I know not that, Madam; but I verily believe the way to keep your young Lover, is to marry this old one: for
what Youth and Beauty cannot purchase, Money and Quality may.
Diana
Ay, but to be oblig'd to lie with such a Beast; ay, there's the Devil, Betty. Ah, when I find the difference of
their Embraces,
The soft dear Arms of Wilding round my Neck.
From those cold feeble ones of this old Dotard;
When I shall meet, instead of Tom's warm kisses,
A hollow Pair of thin blue wither'd Lips,
Trembling with Palsy, stinking with Disease,
By Age and Nature barricado'd up
With a kind Nose and Chin;
What Fancy or what Thought can make my Hours supportable?
Betty
The City Heiress
Scene 3 139
Page No 142
What? why six thousand Pounds a Year, Mistress. He'll quickly die, and leave you rich, and then do what you
please.
Diana
Die! no, he's too temperate Sure these Whigs, Betty, believe there's no Heaven, they take such care to live
so long in this World No, he'll outlive me. Sighs.
Betty
In Grace a God he may be hang'd first, Mistress Ha, one knocks, and I believe 'tis he. She goes to open
the Door.
Diana
I cannot bring my Heart to like this Business;
One sight of my dear Tom wou'd turn the Scale.
Betty
Who's there? Enter Sir Tim. joyful; Dian. walks away.
Sir Timothy Treatall
'Tis I, impatient I, who with the Sun have welcom'd in the Day;
This happy Day to be inroll'd
In Rubrick Letters and in Gold.
Hum, I am profoundly eloquent this Morning. Aside.
Fair Excellence, I approach Going toward her.
Diana
Like Physick in a Morning next one's Heart; Aside.
Which, though it be necessary, is most filthy loathsom. Going from him.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 140
Page No 143
Sir Timothy Treatall
What, do you turn away, bright Sun of Beauty?
Hum, I'm much upon the Suns and Days this Morning.
Diana
It will not down. Turning on him, looks on him, and turns away.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Alas, ye Gods, am I despis'd and scorn'd?
Did I for this ponder upon the Question,
Whether I should be King or Alderman? Heroickly.
Diana
If I must marry him, give him Patience to endure the Cuckolding, good Heaven. Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Heaven! did she name Heaven, Betty?
Betty
I think she did, Sir.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I do not like that: What need has she to think of Heaven upon her Weddingday?
Diana
Marriage is a sort of Hanging, Sir; and I was only making a short Prayer before Execution.
The City Heiress
Scene 3 141
Page No 144
Sir Timothy Treatall
Oh, is that all? Come, come, we'll let that alone till we're abed, that we have nothing else to do. Takes her
Hand.
Diana
Not much, I dare swear.
Sir Timothy Treatall
And let us, Fair one, haste; the Parson stays; besides, that heap of Scandal may prevent us I mean, my
Nephew.
Diana
A Pox upon him now for naming Wilding. Weeps.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, weep at naming my ungracious Nephew? Nay, then I am provok'd Look on this Head, this wise and
Reverend Head; I'd have ye know, it has been taken measure on to fit it to a Crown, d'ye see.
Diana
A Halter rather. Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Ay, and it fits it too: and am I slighted, I that shall receive BilletDoux from Infanta's? 'tis most uncivil and
impolitick.
Diana
I hope he's mad, and then I reign alone. Aside.
Pardon me, Sir, that parting Tear I shed indeed at naming Wilding,
The City Heiress
Scene 3 142
Page No 145
Of whom my foolish Heart has now ta'en leave,
And from this Moment is intirely yours.
Gives him her Hand, they go out followed by Betty.
Scene 4
Changes to a Street.
Enter Charlot, led by Foppington, follow'd by Mrs. Clacket.
Charlot
Stay, my Heart misgives me, I shall be undone. Ah, whither was I going? Pulls her Hand from Fop.
Foppington
Do, stay till the News arrives that he is married to her that had his Company to night, my Lady Galliard.
Charlot
Oh! Take heed lest you sin doubly, Sir.
Foppington
By Heaven, 'tis true, he past the Night with her.
Charlot
All night! what cou'd they find to do?
Mrs. Clacket
A very proper Question; I'll warrant you they were not idle, Madam.
Charlot
Oh, no; they lookt and lov'd and vow'd and lov'd, and swore eternal Friendship Haste, haste, and lead me
to the Church, the Altar; I'll put it past my Power to love him more.
The City Heiress
Scene 4 143
Page No 146
Foppington
Oh, how you charm me! Takes her by the Hand.
Charlot
Yet what art thou? a Stranger to my Heart. Wherefore, ah why, on what occasion shou'd I?
Mrs. Clacket
Acquaintance, 'tis enough, I know him, Madam, and I hope my Word will be taken for a greater matter in the
City: In troth you're beholden to the Gentleman for marrying you, your Reputation's gone.
Charlot
How, am I not honest then?
Mrs. Clacket
Marry, Heaven forbid! But who that knows you have been a single Hour in Wilding's Hands, wou'd not
swear you have lost your Maidenhead? And back again I'm sure you dare not go unmarried; that wou'd be a
fine History to be sung to your eternal Fame in a Ballad.
Foppington
Right; and you see Wilding has left you for the Widow, to whom perhaps you'll shortly hear he's married.
Charlot
Oh, you trifle, Sir; lead on. They going out, meet Sir Anthony with Musick: they return.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Come, come, Gentlemen, this is the House, and this the Window belonging to my Lady's Bedchamber:
Come, come, let's have some neat, soft, brisk, languishing, sprightly Air now.
The City Heiress
Scene 4 144
Page No 147
Foppington
Old Meriwill how shall I pass by him! Stand by.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
So, here's Company too; 'tis very well Not have the Boy? I'll warrant this does the Business Come,
come, screw up your Chitterling. They play.
Hold, hold a little Good morrow, my Lady Galliard. Give your Ladyship Joy.
Charlot
What do I hear, my Lady Galliard joy'd?
Foppington
How, married her already?
Charlot
Oh, yes, he has. Lovely and false, hast thou deceiv'd my Faith?
Mrs. Clacket
Oh, Heavens, Mr. Foppington, she faints. ah me! They hold her, Musick plays.
Enter Wilding and Dresswell, disguis'd as before.
Tom Wilding
Ah, Musick at Galliard's Door!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Good morrow, Sir Charles Meriwill: give your Worship and your fair Lady Joy.
The City Heiress
Scene 4 145
Page No 148
Tom Wilding
Hah, Meriwill married the Widow!
Dresswell
No matter; prithee advance, and mind thy own Affairs.
Tom Wilding
Advance, and not inquire the meaning on't!
Bid me not eat, when Appetite invites me;
Not draw, when branded with the Name of Coward;
Nor love, when Youth and Beauty meet my Eyes
Hah! Sees Sir Charles come into the Balcony undrest.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Good morrow, Uncle. Gentlemen, I thank ye: Here, drink the King's Health, with my Royal Master's the
Duke. Gives 'em Money.
Tom Wilding
Heaven bless your Honour, and your virtuous Bride.
Foppington
Wilding! undone. Shelters Charlot, that she may not see Wilding.
Tom Wilding
Death and the Devil, Meriwill above!
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 4 146
Page No 149
Ah, the Boy's Rival here! By George, here may be breathing this Morning No matter, here's two to two;
come, Gentlemen, you must in. Thrusts the Musick in, and goes in.
Dresswell
Is't not what you expected? nay, what you wisht?
Tom Wilding
What then? it comes too suddenly upon me
E'er my last Kiss was cold upon her Lips,
Before the pantings of her Breast were laid,
Rais'd by her Joys with me; Oh, damn'd deluding Woman!
Dresswell
Be wise, and do not ruin where you love.
Tom Wilding
Nay, if thou com'st to reasoning, thou hast lost me. Breaks from him, and runs in.
Charlot
I say 'twas Wilding's Voice, and I will follow it.
Foppington
How, Madam, wou'd you after him?
Charlot
Nay, force me not; by Heaven, I'll cry a Rape,
Unless you let me go Not after him!
Yes, to the infernal Shades Unhand me, Sir.
Foppington
How, Madam, have you then design'd my Ruin?
The City Heiress
Scene 4 147
Page No 150
Charlot
Oh, trust me, Sir, I am a Maid of Honour. Runs in after Wild.
Mrs. Clacket
So; a Murrain of your Projects, we're all undone now: For my part I'll e'en after her, and deny to have any
hand in the Business. Goes in.
Foppington
Damn all ill Luck, was ever Man thus Fortunebit, that he shou'd cross my Hopes just in the nick? But shall I
lose her thus? No, Gad, I'll after her; and come the worst, I have an Impudence shall outface a
Middlesex Jury, and outswear a Discoverer.
Goes in.
Scene 5
Changes to a Chamber.
Enter Lady Galliard, pursued by Sir Charles, and Footman.
Lady Galliard
Sirrah, run to my Lord Mayor's, and require some of his Officers to assist me instantly; and d'ye hear, Rascal,
bar up my Doors, and let none of his mad Crew enter. To the Footman who is going.
Sir Charles Meriwill
William, you may stay, William.
Lady Galliard
I say, obey me, Sirrah.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Sirrah, I say know your Lord and Master.
The City Heiress
Scene 5 148
Page No 151
William
I shall, Sir. Goes out.
Lady Galliard
Was ever Woman teaz'd thus? pursue me not.
Sir Charles Meriwill
You are mistaken, I'm disobedient grown,
Since we became one Family; and when
I've us'd you thus a Week or two, you will
Grow weary of this peevish fooling.
Lady Galliard
Malicious thing, I wo'not, I am resolv'd I'll tire thee out merely in spite, to have the better of thee.
Sir Charles Meriwill
I'm as resolv'd as you, and do your worst,
For I'm resolv'd never to quit thy House.
Lady Galliard
But, Malice, there are Officers i'th' City, that will not see me us'd thus, and will be here anon.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Magistrates! why, they shall be welcome, if they be honest and loyal; if not, they may be hang'd in Heaven's
good time.
Lady Galliard
Are you resolv'd to be thus obstinate?
Fully resolv'd to make this way your Conquest?
The City Heiress
Scene 5 149
Page No 152
Sir Charles Meriwill
Most certainly, I'll keep you honest to your Word, my Dear I've Witness
Lady Galliard
You will?
Sir Charles Meriwill
You'll find it so.
Lady Galliard
Then know, if thou darest marry me, I will so plague thee, be so reveng'd for all those Tricks thou hast play'd
me Dost thou not dread the Vengeance Wives can take?
Sir Charles Meriwill
Not at all: I'll trust thy Stock of Beauty with thy Wit.
Lady Galliard
Death, I will cuckold thee.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Why, then I shall be free o'th' Reverend City.
Lady Galliard
Then I will game without cessation, till I've undone thee.
The City Heiress
Scene 5 150
Page No 153
Sir Charles Meriwill
Do, that all the Fops of empty Heads and Pockets may know where to be sure of a Cully; and may they rook
ye till ye lose, and fret, and chafe, and rail those youthful Eyes to sinking; watch your fair Face to pale and
withered Leanness.
Lady Galliard
Then I will never let thee bed with me, but when I please.
Sir Charles Meriwill
For that, see who'll petition first, and then I'll change for new ones every Night. Enter William.
William
Madam, here's Mr. Wilding at the Door, and will not be deny'd seeing you.
Lady Galliard
Hah, Wilding! Oh, my eternal Shame! now thou hast done thy worst.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Now for a Struggle 'twixt your Love and Honour!
Yes, here's the Bar to all my Happiness,
You wou'd be left to the wide World and Love,
To Infamy, to Scandal, and to Wilding;
But I have too much Honour in my Passion,
To let you loose to ruin: Consider and be wise.
Lady Galliard
Oh, he has toucht my Heart too sensibly. Aside.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 5 151
Page No 154
within.
As far as good Manners goes I'm yours;
But when you press indecently to Ladies Chambers, civil
Questions ought to askt, I take it, Sir.
Lady Galliard
To find him here, will make him mad with
Jealousy, and in the Fit he'll utter all he knows: Oh,
Guilt, what art thou! Aside.
Enter Sir Anth. Wild. and Dres.
Dresswell
Prithee, dear Wilding, moderate thy Passion.
Tom Wilding
By Heaven, I will; she shall not have the Pleasure to see I am concern'd Morrow, Widow; you are early
up, you mean to thrive, I see, you're like a Mill that grinds with every Wind.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Hah, Wilding, this that past last Night at Sir Timothy's for a Man of Quality? Oh, give him way,
Wilding's my Friend, my Dear, and now I'm sure I have the Advantage of him in my Love. I can forgive a
hasty Word or two.
Tom Wilding
I thank thee, Charles what, you are married then?
Lady Galliard
I hope you've no Exception to my Choice. Scornfully.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 5 152
Page No 155
False Woman, dost thou glory in thy Perfidy? To her aside angrily.
Yes, Faith, I've many Exceptions to him Aloud.
Had you lov'd me, you'd pitcht upon a Blockhead,
Some spruce gay Fool of Fortune, and no more,
Who would have taken so much Care of his own illfavour'd Person,
He shou'd have had no time to have minded yours,
But left it to the Care of some fond longing Lover.
Lady Galliard
Death, he will tell him all! aside.
Oh, you are merry, Sir.
Tom Wilding
No, but thou art wondrous false,
False as the Love and Joys you feign'd last Night. In a soft Tone aside to her.
Lady Galliard
Oh, Sir, be tender of those treacherous Minutes. Softly to him.
If this be all you have to say to me Walking away, and speaking loud.
Tom Wilding
Faith, Madam, you have us'd me scurvily,
To marry, and not give me notice. Aloud.
Curse on thee, did I only blow the Fire
To warm another Lover? To her softly aside.
Lady Galliard
Perjur'd was't not by your Advice I married?
Oh, where was then your Love? Softly to him aside.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 5 153
Page No 156
So soon did I advise?
Didst thou invite me to the Feast of Love,
To snatch away my Joys as soon as tasted?
Ah, where was then you Modesty and Sense of Honour? Aside to her in a low Tone.
Lady Galliard
Ay, where indeed, when you so quickly vanquisht? Soft.
But you, I find, are come prepared to rail. Aloud.
Tom Wilding
No, 'twas with thee to make my last Effort against your scorn. Shews her the Writings.
And this I hop'd, when all my Vows and Love,
When all my Languishments cou'd nought avail,
Had made ye mine for ever. Aloud.
Enter Sir Anthony, pulling in Sir Tim. and Diana.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Morrow, Charles; Morrow to your Ladyship: Charles, bid Sir Timothy welcome; I met him luckily at the
Door, and am resolv'd none of my Friends shall pass this joyful Day without giving thee Joy, Charles, and
drinking my Lady's Health.
Tom Wilding
Hah, my Uncle here so early? Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
What, has your Ladyship serv'd me so? How finely I had been mump'd now, if I had not took Heart of Grace,
and shew'd your Ladyship Trick for Trick? for I have been this Morning about some such Business of Life
too, Gentlemen: I am married to this fair Lady, the Daughter and Heiress of Sir Nicholas Gettall, Knight
and Alderman.
Tom Wilding
The City Heiress
Scene 5 154
Page No 157
Ha, married to Diana! How fickle is the Faith of common Women! Aside.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hum, who's here, my Lord? What, I see your Lordship has found the way already to the fair Ladies; but I
hope your Lordship will do my Weddingdinner the Honour to grace it with your Presence.
Tom Wilding
I shall not fail, Sir. A Pox upon him, he'll discover all. Aside.
Lady Galliard
I must own, Sir Timothy, you have made the better Choice.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I cou'd not help my Destiny; Marriages are made in Heaven, you know. Enter Charlot weeping, and Clacket.
Charlot
Stand off, and let me loose as are my Griefs,
Which can no more be bounded: Oh, let me face
The perjur'd, false, forsworn!
Lady Galliard
Fair Creature, who is't that you seek with so much Sorrow?
Charlot
Thou, thou fatally fair Inchantress. Weeps.
Wild. Charlot! Nay, then I am discover'd.
Lady Galliard
The City Heiress
Scene 5 155
Page No 158
Alas, what wou'dst thou?
Charlot
That which I cannot have, thy faithless Husband.
Be Judge, ye everlasting Powers of Love,
Whether he more belongs to her or me.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
How, my Nephew claim'd! Why, how now, Sirrah, have you been dabling here?
Sir Charles Meriwill
By Heaven, I know her not. Hark ye, Widow, this is some Trick of yours, and 'twas well laid: and Gad,
she's so pretty, I cou'd find in my Heart to take her at her word.
Lady Galliard
Vile Man, this will not pass your Falshood off.
Sure, 'tis some Art to make me jealous of him,
To find how much I value him.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Death, I'll have the Forgery out; Tell me, thou pretty weeping Hypocrite, who was it set thee on to lay a
Claim to me?
Charlot
To you! Alas, who are you? for till this moment I never saw your Face.
Lady Galliard
Mad as the Seas when all the Winds are raging.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
Scene 5 156
Page No 159
Ay, ay, Madam, stark mad! Poor Soul Neighbour, pray let her lie i'th' dark, d'ye hear.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How came you, pretty one, to lose your Wits thus?
Charlot
With loving, Sir, strongly, with too much loving. Will you not let me see the lovely false one? To L. Gal.
For I am told you have his Heart in keeping.
Lady Galliard
Who is he? pray describe him.
Charlot
A thing just like a Man, or rather Angel!
He speaks, and looks, and loves, like any God!
All fine and gay, all manly, and all sweet:
And when he swears he loves, you wou'd swear too
That all his Oaths were true.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
Who is she? some one who knows her and is wiser, speak you, Mistress. To Clacket.
Mrs. Clacket
Since I must speak, there comes the Man of Mischief:
'Tis you, I mean, for all your Leering, Sir. To Wild.
Tom Wilding
So.
The City Heiress
Scene 5 157
Page No 160
Sir Timothy Treatall
What, my Lord?
Mrs. Clacket
I never knew your Nephew was a Lord:
Has his Honour made him forget his Honesty? Charl. runs, and catches him in her Arms.
Charlot
I have thee, and I'll die thus grasping thee;
Thou art my own, no Power shall take thee from me.
Tom Wilding
Never; thou truest of thy Sex, and dearest,
Thou soft, thou kind, thou constant Sufferer,
This moment end thy Fears; for I am thine.
Charlot
May I believe thou art not married then?
Tom Wilding
How can I, when I'm yours?
How cou'd I, when I love thee more than Life?
Now, Madam, I am reveng'd on all your Scorn, To L. Gal.
And, Uncle, all your Cruelty.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Why, what, are you indeed my Nephew Thomas?
Tom Wilding
I am Tom Wilding, Sir, that once bore some such Title, till you discarded me, and left me to live upon my
Wits.
The City Heiress
Scene 5 158
Page No 161
Sir Timothy Treatall
What, and are you no Polish Embassador then incognito?
Tom Wilding
No, Sir, nor you no King Elect, but must e'en remain as you were ever, Sir, a most seditious pestilent old
Knave; one that deludes the Rabble with your Politicks, then leaves 'em to be hang'd, as they deserve, for silly
mutinous Rebels.
Sir Timothy Treatall
I'll peach the Rogue, and then he'll be hang'd in course, because he's a Tory. One comfort is, I have cozen'd
him of his rich Heiress; for I'm married, Sir, to Mrs. Charlot.
Tom Wilding
Rather Diana, Sir; I wish you Joy: See here's Charlot. I was not such a Fool to trust such Blessings with the
Wicked.
Sir Charles Meriwill
How, Mrs. Dy Ladyfi'd! This is an excellent way of disposing an old castoff Mistress.
Sir Timothy Treatall
How, have I married a Strumpet then?
Diana
You give your Nephew's Mistress, Sir, too coarse a Name. 'Tis true, I lov'd him, only him, and was true to
him.
Sir Timothy Treatall
The City Heiress
Scene 5 159
Page No 162
Undone, undone! I shall ne'er make GuildhallSpeech more: but he shall hang for't, if there be e'er a Witness
to be had between this and Salamanca for Money.
Tom Wilding
Do your worst, Sir; Witnesses are out of fashion now, Sir, thanks to your Ignoramus Juries.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Then I'm resolv'd to disinherit him.
Tom Wilding
See, Sir, that's past your Skill too, thanks to my last Night's Ingenuity; they're shews him the Writings.
sign'd, seal'd, and deliver'd in the presence of, &c.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Bear Witness, 'twas he that rob'd me last night.
Sir Anthony Meriwill
We bear witness, Sir, we know of no such matter we. I thank you for that, Sir; wou'd you make Witnesses of
Gentlemen?
Sir Timothy Treatall
No matter for that, I'll have him hang'd, nay, drawn and quarter'd.
Tom Wilding
What, for obeying your Commands, and living on my Wits?
Sir Anthony Meriwill
The City Heiress
Scene 5 160
Page No 163
Nay, then 'tis a clear Case, you can neither hang him or blame him.
Tom Wilding
I'll propose fairly now; if you'll be generous and pardon all, I'll render your Estate back during Life, and put
the Writings in Sir Anthony Meriwill's and Sir Charles his Hands
I have a Fortune here that will maintain me,
Without so much as wishing for your Death.
All.
This is but Reason.
Sir Charles Meriwill
With this Proviso, that he makes not use on't to promote any Mischief to the King and Government.
All. Good and Just. Sir Tim. pauses.
Sir Timothy Treatall
Hum, I'd as good quietly agree to't, as lose my Credit by making a Noise. Well, Tom, I pardon all, and
will be Friends. Gives him his Hand.
Sir Charles Meriwill
See, my dear Creature, even this hard old Man is mollify'd at last into good Nature; yet you'll still be cruel.
Lady Galliard
No, your unwearied Love at last has vanquisht me. Here, be as happy as a Wife can make ye One last look
more, and then be gone, fond Love. Sighing and looking on Wilding, giving Sir Charles her Hand.
Sir Charles Meriwill
Come, Sir, you must receive Diana too; she is a cheerful witty Girl, and handsome, one that will be a
Comfort to your Age, and bring no Scandal home. Live peaceably, and do not trouble your decrepid Age with
Business of State.
The City Heiress
Scene 5 161
Page No 164
Let all things in their own due Order move,
Let Cæsar be the Kingdom's Care and Love;
Let the hotheaded Mutineers petition,
And meddle in the Rights of just Succession:
But may all honest Hearts as one agree
To bless the King, and Royal Albany.
Exeunt.
EPILOGUE.
Written by a Person of Quality: Spoken by Mrs. Boteler.
My Plot, I fear, will take but with a few,
A rich young Heiress to her first Lover true!
'Tis damn'd unnatural, and past enduring,
Against the fundamental Laws of Whoring.
Marrying's the Mask, which Modesty assures,
Helps to get new, and covers old Amours;
And Husband sounds so dull to a TownBride,
Ye nowadays condemn him e'er he's try'd;
E'er in his Office he's confirm'd Possessor,
Like Trincaloes you chuse him a Successor,
In the gay Spring of Love, when free from Doubts,
With early Shoots his Velvet Forehead sprouts,
Like a poor Parson bound to hard Indentures,
You make him pay his Firstfruits e'er he enters.
But for short Carnivals of stoln good Cheer,
You're after forc'd to keep Lent all the Year;
Till brought at last to a starving Nun's Condition,
You break into our Quarters for Provision;
Invade Fopcorner with your glaring Beauties,
And 'tice our Loyal Subjects from their Duties.
Pray, Ladies, leave that Province to our Care; )
A Fool is the Feesimple of a Player, )
In which we Women claim a double share. )
In other things the Men are Rulers made;
But catching W.s is our proper Trade.
If by StageFops they a poor Living get, )
We can grow rich, thanks to our MotherWit, )
By the more natural Blockheads of the Pit. )
Take then the Wits, and all their useless Prattles;
But as for Fools, they are our Goods and Chattels.
Return, Ingrates, to your first Haunt the Stage;
We taught your Youth, and help'd your feeble Age.
What is't you see in Quality we want? )
What can they give you which we cannot grant? )
We have their Pride, their Frolicks, and their Paint. )
We feel the same Youth dancing in our Blood;
Our Dress as gay All underneath as good.
Most Men have found us hitherto more true, )
And if we're not abus'd by some of you, )
The City Heiress
EPILOGUE. Written by a Person of Quality: Spoken by Mrs. Boteler. 162
Page No 165
We're full as fair perhaps as wholesom too. )
But if at best our hopeful Sport and Trade is,
And nothing now will serve you but great Ladies;
May question'd Marriages your Fortune be,
And Lawyers drain your Pockets more than we:
May Judges puzzle a clear Case with Laws,
And Musquetoon at last decide the Cause.
The City Heiress
EPILOGUE. Written by a Person of Quality: Spoken by Mrs. Boteler. 163
Bookmarks
1. Table of Contents, page = 3
2. The City Heiress, page = 4
3. Aphra Behn, page = 4
4. To the Right Honourable Henry Earl of Arundel, and Lord Mowbray. , page = 4
5. THE CITY HEIRESS; or, Sir Timothy Treat-all. PROLOGUE, Written by Mr. Otway, Spoken by Mrs. Barry. , page = 5
6. DRAMATIS PERSONAE., page = 6
7. Section "men", page = 6
8. Section men, page = 6
9. MEN. , page = 6
10. Section "women", page = 6
11. Section women, page = 6
12. WOMEN., page = 7
13. Act 1, page = 7
14. Scene 1, page = 7
15. Act 2, page = 33
16. Scene 1, page = 33
17. Scene 2, page = 46
18. Scene 3, page = 55
19. Act 3, page = 68
20. Scene 1, page = 68
21. SONG., page = 91
22. Act 4, page = 100
23. Scene 1, page = 100
24. SONG., page = 102
25. Scene 2, page = 112
26. Act 5, page = 128
27. Scene 1, page = 129
28. Scene 2, page = 139
29. Scene 3, page = 142
30. Scene 4, page = 146
31. Scene 5, page = 151
32. EPILOGUE. Written by a Person of Quality: Spoken by Mrs. Boteler. , page = 165