Title: The Ayrshire Legatees
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Author: John Galt
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The Ayrshire Legatees
John Galt
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Table of Contents
The Ayrshire Legatees ........................................................................................................................................1
John Galt..................................................................................................................................................1
CHAPTER ITHE DEPARTURE........................................................................................................1
CHAPTER IITHE VOYAGE.............................................................................................................5
CHAPTER IIITHE LEGACY .............................................................................................................8
CHAPTER IVTHE TOWN ...............................................................................................................11
CHAPTER VTHE ROYAL FUNERAL ...........................................................................................19
CHAPTER VIPHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION.............................................................................27
CHAPTER VIIDISCOVERIES AND REBELLIONS.....................................................................36
CHAPTER VIIITHE QUEEN'S TRIAL ...........................................................................................43
CHAPTER IXTHE MARRIAGE.....................................................................................................51
CHAPTER XTHE RETURN............................................................................................................58
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The Ayrshire Legatees
John Galt
CHAPTER ITHE DEPARTURE
CHAPTER IITHE VOYAGE
CHAPTER IIITHE LEGACY
CHAPTER IVTHE TOWN
CHAPTER VTHE ROYAL FUNERAL
CHAPTER VIPHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION
CHAPTER VIIDISCOVERIES AND REBELLIONS
CHAPTER VIIITHE QUEEN'S TRIAL
CHAPTER IXTHE MARRIAGE
CHAPTER XTHE RETURN
CHAPTER ITHE DEPARTURE
On New Year's day Dr. Pringle received a letter from India, informing him that his cousin, Colonel Armour,
had died at Hydrabad, and left him his residuary legatee. The same post brought other letters on the same
subject from the agent of the deceased in London, by which it was evident to the whole family that no time
should be lost in looking after their interests in the hands of such brief and abrupt correspondents. "To say the
least of it," as the Doctor himself sedately remarked, "considering the greatness of the forthcoming property,
Messieurs Richard Argent and Company, of New Broad Street, might have given a notion as to the
particulars of the residue." It was therefore determined that, as soon as the requisite arrangements could be
made, the Doctor and Mrs. Pringle should set out for the metropolis, to obtain a speedy settlement with the
agents, and, as Rachel had now, to use an expression of her mother's, "a prospect before her," that she also
should accompany them: Andrew, who had just been called to the Bar, and who had come to the manse to
spend a few days after attaining that distinction, modestly suggested, that, considering the various
professional points which might be involved in the objects of his father's journey, and considering also the
retired life which his father had led in the rural village of Garnock, it might be of importance to have the
advantage of legal advice.
Mrs. Pringle interrupted this harangue, by saying, "We see what you would be at, Andrew; ye're just wanting
to come with us, and on this occasion I'm no for making stepbairns, so we'll a' gang thegither."
The Doctor had been for many years the incumbent of Garnock, which is pleasantly situated between Irvine
and Kilwinning, and, on account of the benevolence of his disposition, was much beloved by his parishioners.
Some of the pawkie among them used indeed to say, in answer to the godly of Kilmarnock, and other
admirers of the late great John Russel, of that formerly orthodox town, by whom Dr. Pringle's powers as a
preacher were held in no particular estimation,"He kens our pu'pit's frail, and spar'st to save outlay to the
heritors." As for Mrs. Pringle, there is not such another minister's wife, both for economy and management,
within the jurisdiction of the Synod of Glasgow and Ayr, and to this fact the following letter to Miss Mally
Glencairn, a maiden lady residing in the Kirkgate of Irvine, a street that has been likened unto the Kingdom
of Heaven, where there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage, will abundantly testify.
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LETTER I
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally GlencairnGARNOCK MANSE.
Dear Miss MallyThe Doctor has had extraordinar news from India and London, where we are all going, as
soon as me and Rachel can get ourselves in order, so I beg you will go to Bailie Delap's shop, and get
swatches of his best black bombaseen, and crape, and muslin, and bring them over to the manse the morn's
morning. If you cannot come yourself, and the day should be wat, send Nanny Eydent, the mantua maker,
with them; you'll be sure to send Nanny, onyhow, and I requeesht that, on this okasion, ye'll get the very best
the Bailie has, and I'll tell you all about it when you come. You will get, likewise, swatches of mourning
print, with the lowest prices. I'll no be so particular about them, as they are for the servan lasses, and there's
no need, for all the greatness of God's gifts, that we should be wasterful. Let Mrs. Glibbans know, that the
Doctor's second cousin, the colonel, that was in the East Indies, is no more;I am sure she will sympatheese
with our loss on this melancholy okasion. Tell her, as I'll no be out till our mournings are made, I would take
it kind if she would come over and eate a bit of dinner on Sunday. The Doctor will no preach himself, but
there's to be an excellent young man, an acquaintance of Andrew's, that has the repute of being both sound
and hellaquaint. But no more at present, and looking for you and Nanny Eydent, with the swatches,I am,
dear Miss Mally, your sinsare friend,
JANET PRINGLE.
The Doctor being of opinion that, until they had something in hand from the legacy, they should walk in the
paths of moderation, it was resolved to proceed by the coach from Irvine to Greenock, there embark in a
steamboat for Glasgow, and, crossing the country to Edinburgh, take their passage at Leith in one of the
smacks for London. But we must let the parties speak for themselves.
LETTER II
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella TodGREENOCK.
My Dear IsabellaI know not why the dejection with which I parted from you still hangs upon my heart,
and grows heavier as I am drawn farther and farther away. The uncertainty of the futurethe dangers of the
seaall combine to sadden my too sensitive spirit. Still, however, I will exert myself, and try to give you
some account of our momentous journey.
The morning on which we bade farewell for a timealas! it was to me as if for ever, to my native shades of
Garnockthe weather was cold, bleak, and boisterous, and the waves came rolling in majestic fury towards
the shore, when we arrived at the Tontine Inn of Ardrossan. What a monument has the late Earl of Eglinton
left there of his public spirit! It should embalm his memory in the hearts of future ages, as I doubt not but in
time Ardrossan will become a grand emporium; but the people of Saltcoats, a sordid race, complain that it
will be their ruin; and the Paisley subscribers to his lordship's canal grow pale when they think of profit.
The road, after leaving Ardrossan, lies along the shore. The blast came dark from the waters, and the clouds
lay piled in every form of grandeur on the lofty peaks of Arran. The view on the right hand is limited to the
foot of a range of abrupt mean hills, and on the left it meets the seaas we were obliged to keep the glasses
up, our drive for several miles was objectless and dreary. When we had ascended a hill, leaving Kilbride on
the left, we passed under the walls of an ancient tower. What delightful ideas are associated with the sight of
such venerable remains of antiquity!
Leaving that lofty relic of our warlike ancestors, we descended again towards the shore. On the one side lay
the Cumbra Islands, and Bute, dear to departed royalty. Afar beyond them, in the hoary magnificence of
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nature, rise the mountains of Argyllshire; the cairns, as my brother says, of a former world. On the other side
of the road, we saw the cloistered ruins of the religious house of Southenan, a nunnery in those days of
romantic adventure, when to live was to enjoy a poetical element. In such a sweet sequestered retreat, how
much more pleasing to the soul it would have been, for you and I, like two captive birds in one cage, to have
sung away our hours in innocence, than for me to be thus torn from you by fate, and all on account of that
mercenary legacy, perchance the spoils of some unfortunate Hindoo Rajah!
At Largs we halted to change horses, and saw the barrows of those who fell in the great battle. We then
continued our journey along the foot of stupendous precipices; and high, sublime, and darkened with the
shadow of antiquity, we saw, upon its lofty station, the ancient Castle of Skelmorlie, where the Montgomeries
of other days held their gorgeous banquets, and that brave knight who fell at ChevyChace came pricking
forth on his milkwhite steed, as Sir Walter Scott would have described him. But the age of chivalry is past,
and the glory of Europe departed for ever!
When we crossed the stream that divides the counties of Ayr and Renfrew, we beheld, in all the apart and
consequentiality of pride, the house of Kelly overlooking the social villas of Wemyss Bay. My brother
compared it to a sugar hogshead, and them to cottonbags; for the lofty thane of Kelly is but a West India
planter, and the inhabitants of the villas on the shore are Glasgow manufacturers.
To this succeeded a dull drive of about two miles, and then at once we entered the pretty village of Inverkip.
A slight snowshower had given to the landscape a sort of copperplate effect, but still the forms of things,
though but sketched, as it were, with China ink, were calculated to produce interesting impressions. After
ascending, by a gentle acclivity, into a picturesque and romantic pass, we entered a spacious valley, and, in
the course of little more than half an hour, reached this town; the largest, the most populous, and the most
superb that I have yet seen. But what are all its warehouses, ships, and smell of tar, and other odoriferous
circumstances of fishery and the sea, compared with the green swelling hills, the fragrant beanfields, and the
peaceful groves of my native Garnock!
The people of this town are a very busy and clever race, but much given to litigation. My brother says, that
they are the greatest benefactors to the Outer House, and that their lawsuits are the most amusing and
profitable before the courts, being less for the purpose of determining what is right than what is lawful. The
chambermaid of the inn where we lodge pointed out to me, on the opposite side of the street, a magnificent
edifice erected for balls; but the subscribers have resolved not to allow any dancing till it is determined by the
Court of Session to whom the seats and chairs belong, as they were brought from another house where the
assemblies were formerly held. I have heard a lawsuit compared to a country dance, in which, after a great
bustle and regular confusion, the parties stand still, all tired, just on the spot where they began; but this is the
first time that the judges of the land have been called on to decide when a dance may begin.
We arrived too late for the steamboat, and are obliged to wait till Monday morning; but tomorrow we shall
go to church, where I expect to see what sort of creatures the beaux are. The Greenock ladies have a great
name for beauty, but those that I have seen are perfect frights. Such of the gentlemen as I have observed
passing the windows of the inn may do, but I declare the ladies have nothing of which any woman ought to
be proud. Had we known that we ran a risk of not getting a steamboat, my mother would have provided an
introductory letter or two from some of her Irvine friends; but here we are almost entire strangers: my father,
however, is acquainted with one of the magistrates, and has gone to see him. I hope he will be civil enough to
ask us to his house, for an inn is a shocking place to live in, and my mother is terrified at the expense. My
brother, however, has great confidence in our prospects, and orders and directs with a high hand. But my
paper is full, and I am compelled to conclude with scarcely room to say how affectionately I am yours,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
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LETTER III
The Rev. Dr Pringle to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and Session Clerk, GarnockEDINBURGH.
Dear SirWe have got this length through many difficulties, both in the travel by land to, and by sea and
land from Greenock, where we were obligated, by reason of no conveyance, to stop the Sabbath, but not
without edification; for we went to hear Dr. Drystour in the forenoon, who had a most weighty sermon on the
tenth chapter of Nehemiah. He is surely a great orthodox divine, but rather costive in his delivery. In the
afternoon we heard a correct moral lecture on good works, in another church, from Dr. Eastlighta plain
man, with a genteel congregation. The same night we took supper with a wealthy family, where we had much
pleasant communion together, although the bringing in of the toddybowl after supper is a fashion that has a
tendency to lengthen the sederunt to unseasonable hours.
On the following morning, by the break of day, we took shipping in the steamboat for Glasgow. I had
misgivings about the engine, which is really a thing of great docility; but saving my concern for the boiler,
we all found the place surprising comfortable. The day was bleak and cold; but we had a good fire in a carron
grate in the middle of the floor, and books to read, so that both body and mind are therein provided for.
Among the books, I fell in with a History of the Rebellion, anent the hand that an English gentleman of the
name of Waverley had in it. I was grieved that I had not time to read it through, for it was wonderful
interesting, and far more particular, in many points, than any other account of that affair I have yet met with;
but it's no so friendly to Protestant principles as I could have wished. However, if I get my legacy well
settled, I will buy the book, and lend it to you on my return, please God, to the manse.
We were put on shore at Glasgow by breakfasttime, and there we tarried all day, as I had a power of
attorney to get from Miss Jenny Macbride, my cousin, to whom the colonel left the thousand pound legacy.
Miss Jenny thought the legacy should have been more, and made some obstacle to signing the power; but
both her lawyer and Andrew Pringle, my son, convinced her, that, as it was specified in the testament, she
could not help it by standing out; so at long and last Miss Jenny was persuaded to put her name to the paper.
Next day we all four got into a fly coach, and, without damage or detriment, reached this city in good time for
dinner in Macgregor's hotel, a remarkable decent inn, next door to one Mr. Blackwood, a civil and discreet
man in the bookselling line.
Really the changes in Edinburgh since I was here, thirty years ago, are not to be told. I am confounded; for
although I have both heard and read of the New Town in the Edinburgh Advertiser, and the Scots Magazine, I
had no notion of what has come to pass. It's surprising to think wherein the decay of the nation is; for at
Greenock I saw nothing but shipping and building; at Glasgow, streets spreading as if they were one of the
branches of cottonspinning; and here, the houses grown up as if they were sown in the seedtime with the
corn, by a drillmachine, or dibbled in rigs and furrows like beans and potatoes.
Tomorrow, God willing, we embark in a smack at Leith, so that you will not hear from me again till it
please Him to take us in the hollow of His hand to London. In the meantime, I have only to add, that, when
the Session meets, I wish you would speak to the elders, particularly to Mr. Craig, no to be overly hard on
that poor donsie thing, Meg Milliken, about her bairn; and tell Tam Glen, the father o't, from me, that it
would have been a sore heart to that pious woman, his mother, had she been living, to have witnessed such a
thing; and therefore I hope and trust, he will yet confess a fault, and own Meg for his wife, though she is but
something of a tawpie. However, you need not diminish her to Tam. I hope Mr. Snodgrass will give as much
satisfaction to the parish as can reasonably be expected in my absence; and I remain, dear sir, your friend and
pastor,
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ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
Mr. Micklewham received the Doctor's letter about an hour before the Session met on the case of Tam Glen
and Meg Milliken, and took it with him to the sessionhouse, to read it to the elders before going into the
investigation. Such a long and particular letter from the Doctor was, as they all justly remarked, kind and
dutiful to his people, and a great pleasure to them.
Mr. Daff observed, "Truly the Doctor's a vera funny man, and wonderfu' jocose about the toddybowl." But
Mr. Craig said, that "sic a thing on the Lord's night gi'es me no pleasure; and I am for setting my face against
Waverley's History of the Rebellion, whilk I hae heard spoken of among the ungodly, both at Kilwinning and
Dalry; and if it has no respect to Protestant principles, I doubt it's but another dose o' the radical poison in a
new guise." Mr. Icenor, however, thought that "the observe on the great Doctor Drystour was very edifying;
and that they should see about getting him to help at the summer Occasion." {1}
While they were thus reviewing, in their way, the first epistle of the Doctor, the betherel came in to say that
Meg and Tam were at the door. "Oh, man," said Mr. Daff, slyly, "ye shouldna hae left them at the door by
themselves." Mr. Craig looked at him austerely, and muttered something about the growing immorality of
this backsliding age; but before the smoke of his indignation had kindled into eloquence, the delinquents
were admitted. However, as we have nothing to do with the business, we shall leave them to their own
deliberations.
CHAPTER IITHE VOYAGE
On the fourteenth day after the departure of the family from the manse, the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass, who
was appointed to officiate during the absence of the Doctor, received the following letter from his old chum,
Mr. Andrew Pringle. It would appear that the young advocate is not so solid in the head as some of his elder
brethren at the Bar; and therefore many of his flights and observations must be taken with an allowance on
the score of his youth.
LETTER IV
Andrew Pringle, Esq., Advocate, to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass LONDON.
My Dear FriendWe have at last reached London, after a stormy passage of seven days. The
accommodation in the smacks looks extremely inviting in port, and in fine weather, I doubt not, is
comfortable, even at sea; but in February, and in such visitations of the powers of the air as we have endured,
a balloon must be a far better vehicle than all the vessels that have been constructed for passengers since the
time of Noah. In the first place, the waves of the atmosphere cannot be so dangerous as those of the ocean,
being but "thin air"; and I am sure they are not so disagreeable; then the speed of the balloon is so much
greater,and it would puzzle Professor Leslie to demonstrate that its motions are more unsteady; besides,
who ever heard of seasickness in a balloon? the consideration of which alone would, to any reasonable
person actually suffering under the pains of that calamity, be deemed more than an equivalent for all the little
fractional difference of danger between the two modes of travelling. I shall henceforth regard it as a fine
characteristic trait of our national prudence, that, in their journies to France and Flanders, the Scottish witches
always went by air on broomsticks and benweeds, instead of venturing by water in sieves, like those of
England. But the English are under the influence of a maritime genius.
When we had got as far up the Thames as Gravesend, the wind and tide came against us, so that the vessel
was obliged to anchor, and I availed myself of the circumstance, to induce the family to disembark and go to
London by LAND; and I esteem it a fortunate circumstance that we did so, the day, for the season, being
uncommonly fine. After we had taken some refreshment, I procured places in a stagecoach for my mother
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and sister, and, with the Doctor, mounted myself on the outside. My father's oldfashioned notions boggled a
little at first to this arrangement, which he thought somewhat derogatory to his ministerial dignity; but his
scruples were in the end overruled.
The country in this season is, of course, seen to disadvantage, but still it exhibits beauty enough to convince
us what England must be when in leaf. The old gentleman's admiration of the increasing signs of what he
called civilisation, as we approached London, became quite eloquent; but the first view of the city from
Blackheath (which, by the bye, is a fine common, surrounded with villas and handsome houses) overpowered
his faculties, and I shall never forget the impression it made on myself. The sun was declined towards the
horizon; vast masses of dark lowhung clouds were mingled with the smoky canopy, and the dome of St.
Paul's, like the enormous idol of some terrible deity, throned amidst the smoke of sacrifices and
magnificence, darkness, and mystery, presented altogether an object of vast sublimity. I felt touched with
reverence, as if I was indeed approaching the city of THE HUMAN POWERS.
The distant view of Edinburgh is picturesque and romantic, but it affects a lower class of our associations. It
is, compared to that of London, what the poem of the Seasons is with respect to Paradise Lostthe
castellated descriptions of Walter Scott to the Darkness of Byronthe Sabbath of Grahame to the Robbers of
Schiller. In the approach to Edinburgh, leisure and cheerfulness are on the road; large spaces of rural and
pastoral nature are spread openly around, and mountains, and seas, and headlands, and vessels passing
beyond them, going like those that die, we know not whither, while the sun is bright on their sails, and hope
with them; but, in coming to this Babylon, there is an eager haste and a hurrying on from all quarters, towards
that stupendous pile of gloom, through which no eye can penetrate; an unceasing sound, like the enginery of
an earthquake at work, rolls from the heart of that profound and indefinable obscuritysometimes a faint
and yellow beam of the sun strikes here and there on the vast expanse of edifices; and churches, and holy
asylums, are dimly seen lifting up their countless steeples and spires, like so many lightning rods to avert the
wrath of Heaven.
The entrance to Edinburgh also awakens feelings of a more pleasing character. The rugged veteran aspect of
the Old Town is agreeably contrasted with the bright smooth forehead of the New, and there is not such an
overwhelming torrent of animal life, as to make you pause before venturing to stem it; the noises are not so
deafening, and the occasional sound of a balladsinger, or a Highland piper, varies and enriches the discords;
but here, a multitudinous assemblage of harsh alarms, of selfish contentions, and of furious carriages, driven
by a fierce and insolent race, shatter the very hearing, till you partake of the activity with which all seem as
much possessed as if a general apprehension prevailed, that the great clock of Time would strike the
doomhour before their tasks were done. But I must stop, for the postman with his bell, like the betherel of
some ancient "borough's town" summoning to a burial, is in the street, and warns me to conclude.
Yours, ANDREW PRINGLE.
LETTER V
The Rev. Dr. Pringle to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and Session Clerk, Garnock
LONDON, 49 NORFOLK STREET, STRAND.
Dear SirOn the first Sunday forthcoming after the receiving hereof, you will not fail to recollect in the
remembering prayer, that we return thanks for our safe arrival in London, after a dangerous voyage. Well,
indeed, is it ordained that we should pray for those who go down to the sea in ships, and do business on the
great deep; for what me and mine have come through is unspeakable, and the hand of Providence was visibly
manifested.
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On the day of our embarkation at Leith, a fair wind took us onward at a blithe rate for some time; but in the
course of that night the bridle of the tempest was slackened, and the curb of the billows loosened, and the
ship reeled to and fro like a drunken man, and no one could stand therein. My wife and daughter lay at the
point of death; Andrew Pringle, my son, also was prostrated with the grievous affliction; and the very soul
within me was as if it would have been cast out of the body.
On the following day the storm abated, and the wind blew favourable; but towards the heel of the evening it
again came vehement, and there was no help unto our distress. About midnight, however, it pleased HIM,
whose breath is the tempest, to be more sparing with the whip of His displeasure on our poor bark, as she
hirpled on in her toilsome journey through the waters; and I was enabled, through His strength, to lift my
head from the pillow of sickness, and ascend the deck, where I thought of Noah looking out of the window in
the ark, upon the face of the desolate flood, and of Peter walking on the sea; and I said to myself, it matters
not where we are, for we can be in no place where Jehovah is not there likewise, whether it be on the waves
of the ocean, or the mountain tops, or in the valley and shadow of death.
The third day the wind came contrary, and in the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, we were also sorely
buffeted; but on the night of the sixth we entered the mouth of the river Thames, and on the morning of the
seventh day of our departure, we cast anchor near a town called Gravesend, where, to our exceeding great
joy, it pleased Him, in whom alone there is salvation, to allow us once more to put our foot on the dry land.
When we had partaken of a repast, the first blessed with the blessing of an appetite, from the day of our
leaving our native land, we got two vacancies in a stagecoach for my wife and daughter; but with Andrew
Pringle, my son, I was obligated to mount aloft on the outside. I had some scruple of conscience about this,
for I was afraid of my decorum. I met, however, with nothing but the height of discretion from the other
outside passengers, although I jealoused that one of them was a light woman. Really I had no notion that the
English were so civilised; they were so well bred, and the very duddiest of them spoke such a fine style of
language, that when I looked around on the country, I thought myself in the land of Canaan. But it's
extraordinary what a power of drink the coachmen drink, stopping and going into every changehouse, and
yet behaving themselves with the greatest sobriety. And then they are all so well dressed, which is no doubt
owing to the poor rates. I am thinking, however, that for all they cry against them, the poor rates are but a
small evil, since they keep the poor folk in such food and raiment, and out of the temptations to thievery;
indeed, such a thing as a common beggar is not to be seen in this land, excepting here and there a sorner or a
ne'erdoweel.
When we had got to the outskirts of London, I began to be ashamed of the sin of high places, and would
gladly have got into the inside of the coach, for fear of anybody knowing me; but although the multitude of
bygoers was like the kirk scailing at the Sacrament, I saw not a kent face, nor one that took the least notice
of my situation. At last we got to an inn, called The White Horse, FetterLane, where we hired a hackney to
take us to the lodgings provided for us here in Norfolk Street, by Mr. Pawkie, the Scotch solicitor, a friend of
Andrew Pringle, my son. Now it was that we began to experience the sharpers of London; for it seems that
there are divers Norfolk Streets. Ours was in the Strand (mind that when you direct), not very far from
FetterLane; but the hackney driver took us away to one afar off, and when we knocked at the number we
thought was ours, we found ourselves at a house that should not be told. I was so mortified, that I did not
know what to say; and when Andrew Pringle, my son, rebuked the man for the mistake, he only gave a
cunning laugh, and said we should have told him whatna Norfolk Street we wanted. Andrew stormed at
thisbut I discerned it was all owing to our own inexperience, and put an end to the contention, by telling
the man to take us to Norfolk Street in the Strand, which was the direction we had got. But when we got to
the door, the coachman was so extortionate, that another hobbleshaw arose. Mrs. Pringle had been told that,
in such disputes, the best way of getting redress was to take the number of the coach; but, in trying to do so,
we found it fastened on, and I thought the hackneyman would have gone by himself with laughter. Andrew,
who had not observed what we were doing, when he saw us trying to take off the number, went like one
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demented, and paid the man, I cannot tell what, to get us out, and into the house, for fear we should have been
mobbit.
I have not yet seen the colonel's agents, so can say nothing as to the business of our coming; for, landing at
Gravesend, we did not bring our trunks with us, and Andrew has gone to the wharf this morning to get them,
and, until we get them, we can go nowhere, which is the occasion of my writing so soon, knowing also how
you and the whole parish would be anxious to hear what had become of us; and I remain, dear sir, your friend
and pastor,
ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
On Saturday evening, Saunders Dickie, the Irvine postman, suspecting that this letter was from the Doctor,
went with it himself, on his own feet, to Mr. Micklewham, although the distance is more than two miles, but
Saunders, in addition to the customary TWAL PENNIES on the postage, had a dram for his pains. The next
morning being wet, Mr. Micklewham had not an opportunity of telling any of the parishioners in the
churchyard of the Doctor's safe arrival, so that when he read out the request to return thanks (for he was not
only schoolmaster and sessionclerk, but also precentor), there was a murmur of pleasure diffused
throughout the congregation, and the greatest curiosity was excited to know what the dangers were, from
which their worthy pastor and his whole family had so thankfully escaped in their voyage to London; so that,
when the service was over, the elders adjourned to the sessionhouse to hear the letter read; and many of the
heads of families, and other respectable parishioners, were admitted to the honours of the sitting, who all
sympathised, with the greatest sincerity, in the sufferings which their minister and his family had endured.
Mr. Daff, however, was justly chided by Mr. Craig, for rubbing his hands, and giving a sort of sniggering
laugh, at the Doctor's sitting on high with a light woman. But even Mr. Snodgrass was seen to smile at the
incident of taking the number off the coach, the meaning of which none but himself seemed to understand.
When the epistle had been thus duly read, Mr. Micklewham promised, for the satisfaction of some of the
congregation, that he would get two or three copies made by the best writers in his school, to be handed about
the parish, and Mr. Icenor remarked, that truly it was a thing to be held in remembrance, for he had not heard
of greater tribulation by the waters since the shipwreck of the Apostle Paul.
CHAPTER IIITHE LEGACY
Soon after the receipt of the letters which we had the pleasure of communicating in the foregoing chapter, the
following was received from Mrs. Pringle, and the intelligence it contains is so interesting and important, that
we hasten to lay it before our readers:
LETTER VI
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally GlencairnLONDON.
My Dear Miss MallyYou must not expect no particulars from me of our journey; but as Rachel is writing
all the calamities that befell us to Bell Tod, you will, no doubt, hear of them. But all is nothing to my losses. I
bought from the first hand, Mr. Treddles the manufacturer, two pieces of muslin, at Glasgow, such a thing not
being to be had on any reasonable terms here, where they get all their fine muslins from Glasgow and
Paisley; and in the same bocks with them I packit a small crock of our ain excellent poudered butter, with a
delap cheese, for I was told that such commodities are not to be had genuine in London. I likewise had in it a
pot of marmlet, which Miss Jenny Macbride gave me at Glasgow, assuring me that it was not only dentice,
but a curiosity among the English, and my best new bumbeseen goun in peper. Howsomever, in the nailing of
the bocks, which I did carefully with my oun hands, one of the nails gaed in ajee, and broke the pot of
marmlet, which, by the jolting of the ship, ruined the muslin, rottened the peper round the goun, which the
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CHAPTER IIITHE LEGACY 8
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shivers cut into more than twenty great holes. Over and above all, the crock with the butter was, no one can
tell how, crackit, and the pickle lecking out, and mixing with the seerip of the marmlet, spoilt the cheese. In
short, at the object I beheld, when the bocks was opened, I could have ta'en to the greeting; but I behaved
with more composity on the occasion, than the Doctor thought it was in the power of nature to do.
Howsomever, till I get a new goun and other things, I am obliged to be a prisoner; and as the Doctor does not
like to go to the countinghouse of the agents without me, I know not what is yet to be the consequence of
our journey. But it would need to be something; for we pay four guineas and a half a week for our dry
lodgings, which is at a degree more than the Doctor's whole stipend. As yet, for the cause of these
misfortunes, I can give you no account of London; but there is, as everybody kens, little thrift in their
housekeeping. We just buy our tea by the quarter a pound, and our loaf sugar, broken in a peper bag, by the
pound, which would be a disgrace to a decent family in Scotland; and when we order dinner, we get no more
than just serves, so that we have no cold meat if a stranger were coming by chance, which makes an unco
bare house. The servan lasses I cannot abide; they dress better at their wark than ever I did on an ordinaire
weekday at the manse; and this very morning I saw madam, the kitchen lass, mounted on a pair of pattens,
washing the plain stenes before the door; na, for that matter, a bare foot is not to be seen within the four walls
of London, at the least I have na seen no such thing.
In the way of marketing, things are very good here, and considering, not dear; but all is sold by the licht
weight, only the fish are awful; half a guinea for a cod's head, and no bigger than the drouds the cadgers bring
from Ayr, at a shilling and eighteenpence apiece.
Tell Miss Nanny Eydent that I have seen none of the fashions as yet; but we are going to the burial of the auld
king next week, and I'll write her a particular account how the leddies are dressed; but everybody is in deep
mourning. Howsomever I have seen but little, and that only in a manner from the window; but I could not
miss the opportunity of a frank that Andrew has got, and as he's waiting for the pen, you must excuse haste.
From your sincere friend,
JANET PRINGLE.
LETTER VII
Andrew Pringle, Esq., to the Rev. Charles SnodgrassLONDON.
My Dear FriendIt will give you pleasure to hear that my father is likely to get his business speedily settled
without any equivocation; and that all those prudential considerations which brought us to London were but
the phantasms of our own inexperience. I use the plural, for I really share in the shame of having called in
question the high character of the agents: it ought to have been warrantry enough that everything would be
fairly adjusted. But I must give you some account of what has taken place, to illustrate our provincialism, and
to give you some idea of the way of doing business in London.
After having recovered from the effects, and repaired some of the accidents of our voyage, we yesterday
morning sallied forth, the Doctor, my mother, and your humble servant, in a hackney coach, to Broad Street,
where the agents have their countinghouse, and were ushered into a room among other legatees or clients,
waiting for an audience of Mr. Argent, the principal of the house.
I know not how it is, that the little personal peculiarities, so amusing to strangers, should be painful when we
see them in those whom we love and esteem; but I own to you, that there was a something in the demeanour
of the old folks on this occasion, that would have been exceedingly diverting to me, had my filial reverence
been less sincere for them.
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CHAPTER IIITHE LEGACY 9
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The establishment of Messrs. Argent and Company is of vast extent, and has in it something even of a public
magnitude; the number of the clerks, the assiduity of all, and the order that obviously prevails throughout,
give at the first sight, an impression that bespeaks respect for the stability and integrity of the concern. When
we had been seated about ten minutes, and my father's name taken to Mr. Argent, an answer was brought,
that he would see us as soon as possible; but we were obliged to wait at least half an hour more. Upon our
being at last admitted, Mr. Argent received us standing, and in an easy gentlemanly manner said to my father,
"You are the residuary legatee of the late Colonel Armour. I am sorry that you did not apprise me of this visit,
that I might have been prepared to give the information you naturally desire; but if you will call here
tomorrow at 12 o'clock, I shall then be able to satisfy you on the subject. Your lady, I presume?" he added,
turning to my mother; "Mrs. Argent will have the honour of waiting on you; may I therefore beg the favour of
your address?" Fortunately I was provided with cards, and having given him one, we found ourselves
constrained, as it were, to take our leave. The whole interview did not last two minutes, and I never was less
satisfied with myself. The Doctor and my mother were in the greatest anguish; and when we were again
seated in the coach, loudly expressed their apprehensions. They were convinced that some stratagem was
meditated; they feared that their journey to London would prove as little satisfactory as that of the
Wrongheads, and that they had been throwing away good money in building castles in the air.
It had been previously arranged, that we were to return for my sister, and afterwards visit some of the sights;
but the clouded visages of her father and mother darkened the very spirit of Rachel, and she largely shared in
their fears. This, however, was not the gravest part of the business; for, instead of going to St. Paul's and the
Tower, as we had intended, my mother declared, that not one farthing would they spend more till they were
satisfied that the expenses already incurred were likely to be reimbursed; and a Chancery suit, with all the
horrors of wig and gown, floated in spectral haziness before their imagination.
We sat down to a frugal meal, and although the remainder of a bottle of wine, saved from the preceding day,
hardly afforded a glass apiece, the Doctor absolutely prohibited me from opening another.
This morning, faithful to the hour, we were again in Broad Street, with hearts knit up into the most
peremptory courage; and, on being announced, were immediately admitted to Mr. Argent. He received us
with the same ease as in the first interview, and, after requesting us to be seated (which, by the way, he did
not do yesterday, a circumstance that was ominously remarked), he began to talk on indifferent matters. I
could see that a question, big with law and fortune, was gathering in the breasts both of the Doctor and my
mother, and that they were in a state far from that of the blessed. But one of the clerks, before they had time
to express their indignant suspicions, entered with a paper, and Mr. Argent, having glanced it over, said to the
Doctor"I congratulate you, sir, on the amount of the colonel's fortune. I was not indeed aware before that
he had died so rich. He has left about 120,000 pounds; seventyfive thousand of which is in the five per
cents; the remainder in India bonds and other securities. The legacies appear to be inconsiderable, so that the
residue to you, after paying them and the expenses of Doctors' Commons, will exceed a hundred thousand
pounds."
My father turned his eyes upwards in thankfulness. "But," continued Mr. Argent, "before the property can be
transferred, it will be necessary for you to provide about four thousand pounds to pay the duty and other
requisite expenses." This was a thunderclap. "Where can I get such a sum?" exclaimed my father, in a tone of
pathetic simplicity. Mr. Argent smiled and said, "We shall manage that for you"; and having in the same
moment pulled a bell, a fine young man entered, whom he introduced to us as his son, and desired him to
explain what steps it was necessary for the Doctor to take. We accordingly followed Mr. Charles Argent to
his own room.
Thus, in less time than I have been in writing it, were we put in possession of all the information we required,
and found those whom we feared might be interested to withhold the settlement, alert and prompt to assist us.
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Mr. Charles Argent is naturally more familiar than his father. He has a little dash of pleasantry in his manner,
with a shrewd good humoured fashionable air, that renders him soon an agreeable acquaintance. He entered
with singular felicity at once into the character of the Doctor and my mother, and waggishly drolled, as if he
did not understand them, in order, I could perceive, to draw out the simplicity of their apprehensions. He
quite won the old lady's economical heart, by offering to frank her letters, for he is in Parliament. "You have
probably," said he slyly, "friends in the country, to whom you may be desirous of communicating the result
of your journey to London; send your letters to me, and I will forward them, and any that you expect may
also come under cover to my address, for postage is very expensive."
As we were taking our leave, after being fully instructed in all the preliminary steps to be taken before the
transfers of the funded property can be made, he asked me, in a friendly manner, to dine with him this
evening, and I never accepted an invitation with more pleasure. I consider his acquaintance a most agreeable
acquisition, and not one of the least of those advantages which this new opulence has put it in my power to
attain. The incidents, indeed, of this day, have been all highly gratifying, and the new and brighter phase in
which I have seen the mercantile character, as it is connected with the greatness and glory of my countryis
in itself equivalent to an accession of useful knowledge. I can no longer wonder at the vast power which the
British Government wielded during the late war, when I reflect that the method and promptitude of the house
of Messrs. Argent and Company is common to all the great commercial concerns from which the statesmen
derived, as from so many reservoirs, those immense pecuniary supplies, which enabled them to beggar all the
resources of a political despotism, the most unbounded, both in power and principle, of any tyranny that ever
existed so long.Yours, etc., ANDREW PRINGLE.
CHAPTER IVTHE TOWN
There was a great teadrinking held in the Kirkgate of Irvine, at the house of Miss Mally Glencairn; and at
that assemblage of rank, beauty, and fashion, among other delicacies of the season, several newcomehome
Clyde skippers, roaring from Greenock and Port Glasgow, were served upbut nothing contributed more
to the entertainment of the evening than a proposal, on the part of Miss Mally, that those present who had
received letters from the Pringles should read them for the benefit of the company. This was, no doubt, a
preconcerted scheme between her and Miss Isabella Tod, to hear what Mr. Andrew Pringle had said to his
friend Mr. Snodgrass, and likewise what the Doctor himself had indited to Mr. Micklewham; some rumour
having spread of the wonderful escapes and adventures of the family in their journey and voyage to London.
Had there not been some prethought of this kind, it was not indeed probable, that both the helper and
sessionclerk of Garnock could have been there together, in a party, where it was an understood thing, that
not only Whist and Catch Honours were to be played, but even obstreperous Birky itself, for the diversion of
such of the company as were not used to gambling games. It was in consequence of what took place at this
Irvine route, that we were originally led to think of collecting the letters.
LETTER VIII
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella TodLONDON.
My Dear BellIt was my heartfelt intention to keep a regular journal of all our proceedings, from the sad
day on which I bade a long adieu to my native shadesand I persevered with a constancy becoming our dear
and youthful friendship, in writing down everything that I saw, either rare or beautiful, till the hour of our
departure from Leith. In that faithful register of my feelings and reflections as a traveller, I described our
embarkation at Greenock, on board the steamboat,our sailing past PortGlasgow, an insignificant town,
with a steeple;the stupendous rock of Dumbarton Castle, that Gibraltar of antiquity;our landing at
Glasgow;my astonishment at the magnificence of that opulent metropolis of the muslin manufacturers; my
brother's remark, that the punchbowls on the roofs of the Infirmary, the Museum, and the Trades Hall, were
emblematic of the universal estimation in which that celebrated mixture is held by all ranks and
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CHAPTER IVTHE TOWN 11
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degreeslearned, commercial, and even medical, of the inhabitants;our arrival at Edinburghmy
emotion on beholding the Castle, and the visionary lake which may be nightly seen from the windows of
Princes Street, between the Old and New Town, reflecting the lights of the lofty city beyondwith a
thousand other delightful and romantic circumstances, which render it no longer surprising that the Edinburgh
folk should be, as they think themselves, the most accomplished people in the world. But, alas! from the
moment I placed my foot on board that cruel vessel, of which the very idea is anguish, all thoughts were
swallowed up in sufferingswallowed, did I say? Ah, my dear Bell, it was the odious reversebut
imagination alone can do justice to the subject. Not, however, to dwell on what is past, during the whole time
of our passage from Leith, I was unable to think, far less to write; and, although there was a handsome young
Hussar officer also a passenger, I could not even listen to the elegant compliments which he seemed disposed
to offer by way of consolation, when he had got the better of his own sickness. Neither love nor valour can
withstand the influence of that seademon. The interruption thus occasioned to my observations made me
destroy my journal, and I have now to write to you only about Londononly about London! What an
expression for this human universe, as my brother calls it, as if my weak feminine pen were equal to the
stupendous theme!
But, before entering on the subject, let me first satisfy the anxiety of your faithful bosom with respect to my
father's legacy. All the accounts, I am happy to tell you, are likely to be amicably settled; but the exact
amount is not known as yet, only I can see, by my brother's manner, that it is not less than we expected, and
my mother speaks about sending me to a boardingschool to learn accomplishments. Nothing, however, is to
be done until something is actually in hand. But what does it all avail to me? Here am I, a solitary being in
the midst of this wilderness of mankind, far from your sympathising affection, with the dismal prospect
before me of going a second time to school, and without the prospect of enjoying, with my own sweet
companions, that light and bounding gaiety we were wont to share, in skipping from tomb to tomb in the
breezy churchyard of Irvine, like butterflies in spring flying from flower to flower, as a Wordsworth or a
Wilson would express it.
We have got elegant lodgings at present in Norfolk Street, but my brother is trying, with all his address, to get
us removed to a more fashionable part of the town, which, if the accounts were once settled, I think will take
place; and he proposes to hire a carriage for a whole month. Indeed, he has given hints about the saving that
might be made by buying one of our own; but my mother shakes her head, and says, "Andrew, dinna be
carri't." From all which it is very plain, though they don't allow me to know their secrets, that the legacy is
worth the coming for. But to return to the lodgings; we have what is called a first and second floor, a
drawingroom, and three handsome bedchambers. The drawingroom is very elegant; and the carpet is the
exact same pattern of the one in the dress drawingroom of Eglintoun Castle. Our landlady is indeed a lady,
and I am surprised how she should think of letting lodgings, for she dresses better, and wears finer lace, than
ever I saw in Irvine. But I am interrupted.
I now resume my pen. We have just had a call from Mrs. and Miss Argent, the wife and daughter of the
colonel's man of business. They seem great people, and came in their own chariot, with two grand footmen
behind; but they are pleasant and easy, and the object of their visit was to invite us to a family dinner
tomorrow, Sunday. I hope we may become better acquainted; but the two livery servants make such a
difference in our degrees, that I fear this is a vain expectation. Miss Argent was, however, very frank, and
told me that she was herself only just come to London for the first time since she was a child, having been for
the last seven years at a school in the country. I shall, however, be better able to say more about her in my
next letter. Do not, however, be afraid that she shall ever supplant you in my heart. No, my dear friend,
companion of my days of innocence,that can never be. But this call from such persons of fashion looks as
if the legacy had given us some consideration; so that I think my father and mother may as well let me know
at once what my prospects are, that I might show you how disinterestedly and truly I am, my dear Bell, yours,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
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When Miss Isabella Tod had read the letter, there was a solemn pause for some timeall present knew
something, more or less, of the fair writer; but a carriage, a carpet like the best at Eglintoun, a Hussar officer,
and two footmen in livery, were phantoms of such high import, that no one could distinctly express the
feelings with which the intelligence affected them. It was, however, unanimously agreed, that the Doctor's
legacy had every symptom of being equal to what it was at first expected to be, namely, twenty thousand
pounds;a sum which, by some occult or recondite moral influence of the Lottery, is the common
maximum, in popular estimation, of any extraordinary and indefinite windfall of fortune. Miss Becky
Glibbans, from the purest motives of charity, devoutly wished that poor Rachel might be able to carry her full
cup with a steady hand; and the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, that so commendable an expression might not lose its
edifying effect by any lighter talk, requested Mr. Micklewham to read his letter from the Doctor.
LETTER IX
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk of GarnockLONDON.
Dear SirI have written by the post that will take this to hand, a letter to Banker My, at Irvine, concerning
some small matters of money that I may stand in need of his opinion anent; and as there is a prospect now of
a settlement of the legacy business, I wish you to take a step over to the banker, and he will give you ten
pounds, which you will administer to the poor, by putting a twentyshilling note in the plate on Sunday, as a
public testimony from me of thankfulness for the hope that is before us; the other nine pounds you will
quietly, and in your own canny way, divide after the following manner, letting none of the partakers thereof
know from what other hand than the Lord's the help comes, for, indeed, from whom but HIS does any good
befall us!
You will give to auld Mizy Eccles ten shillings. She's a careful creature, and it will go as far with her thrift as
twenty will do with Effy Hopkirk; so you will give Effy twenty. Mrs. Binnacle, who lost her husband, the
sailor, last winter, is, I am sure, with her two sickly bairns, very ill off; I would therefore like if you will lend
her a note, and ye may put halfacrown in the hand of each of the poor weans for a playock, for she's a
proud spirit, and will bear much before she complain. Thomas Dowy has been long unable to do a turn of
work, so you may give him a note too. I promised that donsie body, Willy Shachle, the betherel, that when I
got my legacy, he should get a guinea, which would be more to him than if the colonel had died at home, and
he had had the howking of his grave; you may therefore, in the meantime, give Willy a crown, and be sure to
warn him well no to get fou with it, for I'll be very angry if he does. But what in this matter will need all your
skill, is the giving of the remaining five pounds to auld Miss Betty Peerie; being a gentlewoman both by
blood and education, she's a very slimmer affair to handle in a doing of this kind. But I am persuaded she's in
as great necessity as many that seem far poorer, especially since the muslin flowering has gone so down. Her
bits of brats are sairly worn, though she keeps out an apparition of gentility. Now, for all this trouble, I will
give you an account of what we have been doing since my last.
When we had gotten ourselves made up in order, we went, with Andrew Pringle, my son, to the
countinghouse, and had a satisfactory vista of the residue; but it will be some time before things can be
settledindeed, I fear, not for months to comeso that I have been thinking, if the parish was pleased with
Mr. Snodgrass, it might be my duty to my people to give up to him my stipend, and let him be appointed not
only helper, but successor likewise. It would not be right of me to give the manse, both because he's a young
and inexperienced man, and cannot, in the course of nature, have got into the way of visiting the sickbeds of
the frail, which is the main part of a pastor's duty, and likewise, because I wish to die, as I have lived, among
my people. But, when all's settled, I will know better what to do.
When we had got an inkling from Mr. Argent of what the colonel has left,and I do assure you, that money
is not to be got, even in the way of legacy, without anxiety,Mrs. Pringle and I consulted together, and
resolved, that it was our first duty, as a token of our gratitude to the Giver of all Good, to make our first
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outlay to the poor. So, without saying a word either to Rachel, or to Andrew Pringle, my son, knowing that
there was a daily worship in the Church of England, we slipped out of the house by ourselves, and, hiring a
hackney conveyance, told the driver thereof to drive us to the high church of St. Paul's. This was out of no
respect to the pomp and pride of prelacy, but to Him before whom both pope and presbyter are equal, as they
are seen through the merits of Christ Jesus. We had taken a gold guinea in our hand, but there was no broad at
the door; and, instead of a venerable elder, lending sanctity to his office by reason of his age, such as we see
in the effectual institutions of our own national churchthe door was kept by a young man, much more like
a writer's whippersnapperclerk, than one qualified to fill that station, which good King David would have
preferred to dwelling in tents of sin. However, we were not come to spy the nakedness of the land, so we
went up the outside stairs, and I asked at him for the plate; "Plate!" says he; "why, it's on the altar!" I should
have known thisthe custom of old being to lay the offerings on the altar, but I had forgot; such is the force,
you see, of habit, that the Church of England is not so well reformed and purged as ours is from the
abominations of the leaven of idolatry. We were then stepping forward, when he said to me, as sharply as if I
was going to take an advantage, "You must pay here." "Very well, wherever it is customary," said I, in a
meek manner, and gave him the guinea. Mrs. Pringle did the same. "I cannot give you change," cried he, with
as little decorum as if we had been paying at a playhouse. "It makes no odds," said I; "keep it all."
Whereupon he was so converted by the mammon of iniquity, that he could not be civil enough, he
thoughtbut conducted us in, and showed us the marble monuments, and the French colours that were taken
in the war, till the time of worshipnothing could surpass his discretion.
At last the organ began to sound, and we went into the place of worship; but oh, Mr. Micklewham, yon is a
thin kirk. There was not a hearer forby Mrs. Pringle and me, saving and excepting the relics of popery that
assisted at the service. What was said, I must, however, in verity confess, was not far from the point. But it's
still a comfort to see that prelatical usurpations are on the downfall; no wonder that there is no broad at the
door to receive the collection for the poor, when no congregation entereth in. You may, therefore, tell Mr.
Craig, and it will gladden his heart to hear the tidings, that the great Babylonian madam is now, indeed, but a
very little cutty.
On our return home to our lodgings, we found Andrew Pringle, my son, and Rachel, in great consternation
about our absence. When we told them that we had been at worship, I saw they were both deeply affected;
and I was pleased with my children, the more so, as you know I have had my doubts that Andrew Pringle's
principles have not been strengthened by the reading of the Edinburgh Review. Nothing more passed at that
time, for we were disturbed by a Captain Sabre that came up with us in the smack, calling to see how we
were after our journey; and as he was a civil wellbred young man, which I marvel at, considering he's a
Hussar dragoon, we took a coach, and went to see the lions, as he said; but, instead of taking us to the Tower
of London, as I expected, he ordered the man to drive us round the town. In our way through the city he
showed us the Temple Bar, where Lord Kilmarnock's head was placed after the Rebellion, and pointed out
the Bank of England and Royal Exchange. He said the steeple of the Exchange was taken down shortly
agoand that the late improvements at the Bank were very grand. I remembered having read in the
Edinburgh Advertiser, some years past, that there was a great deal said in Parliament about the state of the
Exchange, and the condition of the Bank, which I could never thoroughly understand. And, no doubt, the
taking own of an old building, and the building up of a new one so near together, must, in such a crowded
city as this, be not only a great detriment to business, but dangerous to the community at large.
After we had driven about for more than two hours, and neither seen lions nor any other curiosity, but only
the outside of houses, we returned home, where we found a copperplate card left by Mr. Argent, the colonel's
agent, with the name of his private dwellinghouse. Both me and Mrs. Pringle were confounded at the sight
of this thing, and could not but think that it prognosticated no good; for we had seen the gentleman himself in
the forenoon. Andrew Pringle, my son, could give no satisfactory reason for such an extraordinary
manifestation of anxiety to see us; so that, after sitting on thorns at our dinner, I thought that we should see to
the bottom of the business. Accordingly, a hackney was summoned to the door, and me and Andrew Pringle,
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Page No 17
my son, got into it, and told the man to drive to second in the street where Mr. Argent lived, and which was
the number of his house. The man got up, and away we went; but, after he had driven an awful time, and
stopping and inquiring at different places, he said there was no such house as Second's in the street;
whereupon Andrew Pringle, my son, asked him what he meant, and the man said that he supposed it was one
Second's Hotel, or Coffee house, that we wanted. Now, only think of the craftiness of the ne'erdaweel; it
was with some difficulty that I could get him to understand, that second was just as good as number two; for
Andrew Pringle, my son, would not interfere, but lay back in the coach, and was like to split his sides at my
confabulating with the hackney man. At long and length we got to the house, and were admitted to Mr.
Argent, who was sitting by himself in his library reading, with a plate of oranges, and two decanters with
wine before him. I explained to him, as well as I could, my surprise and anxiety at seeing his card, at which
he smiled, and said, it was merely a sort of practice that had come into fashion of late years, and that,
although we had been at his countinghouse in the morning, he considered it requisite that he should call on
his return from the city. I made the best excuse I could for the mistake; and the servant having placed glasses
on the table, we were invited to take wine. But I was grieved to think that so respectable a man should have
had the bottles before him by himself, the more especially as he said his wife and daughters had gone to a
party, and that he did not much like such sort of things. But for all that, we found him a wonderful
conversible man; and Andrew Pringle, my son, having read all the new books put out at Edinburgh, could
speak with him on any subject. In the course of conversation they touched upon politick economy, and
Andrew Pringle, my son, in speaking about cash in the Bank of England, told him what I had said concerning
the alterations of the Royal Exchange steeple, with which Mr. Argent seemed greatly pleased, and jocosely
proposed as a toast,"May the country never suffer more from the alterations in the Exchange, than the
taking down of the steeple." But as Mrs. Pringle is wanting to send a bit line under the same frank to her
cousin, Miss Mally Glencairn, I must draw to a conclusion, assuring you, that I am, dear sir, your sincere
friend and pastor,
ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
The impression which this letter made on the auditors of Mr. Micklewham was highly favourable to the
Doctorall bore testimony to his benevolence and piety; and Mrs. Glibbans expressed, in very loquacious
terms, her satisfaction at the neglect to which prelacy was consigned. The only person who seemed to be
affected by other than the most sedate feelings on the occasion was the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, who was
observed to smile in a very unbecoming manner at some parts of the Doctor's account of his reception at St.
Paul's. Indeed, it was apparently with the utmost difficulty that the young clergyman could restrain himself
from giving liberty to his risible faculties. It is really surprising how differently the same thing affects
different people. "The Doctor and Mrs. Pringle giving a guinea at the door of St. Paul's for the poor need not
make folk laugh," said Mrs. Glibbans; "for is it not written, that whosoever giveth to the poor lendeth to the
Lord?" "True, my dear madam," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "but the Lord to whom our friends in this case gave
their money is the Lord Bishop of London; all the collection made at the doors of St. Paul's Cathedral is, I
understand, a perquisite of the Bishop's." In this the reverend gentleman was not very correctly informed, for,
in the first place, it is not a collection, but an exaction; and, in the second place, it is only sanctioned by the
Bishop, who allows the inferior clergy to share the gains among themselves. Mrs. Glibbans, however, on
hearing his explanation, exclaimed, "Gude be about us!" and pushing back her chair with a bounce, streaking
down her gown at the same time with both her hands, added, "No wonder that a judgment is upon the land,
when we hear of moneychangers in the temple." Miss Mally Glencairn, to appease her gathering wrath and
holy indignation, said facetiously, "Na, na, Mrs. Glibbans, ye forget, there was nae changing of money there.
The man took the whole guineas. But not to make a controversy on the subject, Mr. Snodgrass will now let us
hear what Andrew Pringle, 'my son,' has said to him": And the reverend gentleman read the following letter
with due circumspection, and in his best manner:
LETTER X
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Page No 18
Andrew Pringle, Esq., to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass
My Dear FriendI have heard it alleged, as the observation of a great traveller, that the manners of the
higher classes of society throughout Christendom are so much alike, that national peculiarities among them
are scarcely perceptible. This is not correct; the differences between those of London and Edinburgh are to
me very striking. It is not that they talk and perform the little etiquettes of social intercourse differently; for,
in these respects, they are apparently as similar as it is possible for imitation to make them; but the difference
to which I refer is an indescribable something, which can only be compared to peculiarities of accent. They
both speak the same language; perhaps in classical purity of phraseology the fashionable Scotchman is even
superior to the Englishman; but there is a flatness of tone in his accenta lack of what the musicians call
expression, which gives a local and provincial effect to his conversation, however, in other respects, learned
and intelligent. It is so with his manners; he conducts himself with equal ease, selfpossession, and
discernment, but the flavour of the metropolitan style is wanting.
I have been led to make these remarks by what I noticed in the guests whom I met on Friday at young
Argent's. It was a small party, only five strangers; but they seemed to be all particular friends of our host, and
yet none of them appeared to be on any terms of intimacy with each other. In Edinburgh, such a party would
have been at first a little cold; each of the guests would there have paused to estimate the characters of the
several strangers before committing himself with any topic of conversation. But here, the circumstance of
being brought together by a mutual friend, produced at once the purest gentlemanly confidence; each, as it
were, took it for granted, that the persons whom he had come among were men of education and
goodbreeding, and, without deeming it at all necessary that he should know something of their respective
political and philosophical principles, before venturing to speak on such subjects, discussed frankly, and as
things unconnected with party feelings, incidental occurrences which, in Edinburgh, would have been
avoided as calculated to awaken animosities.
But the most remarkable feature of the company, small as it was, consisted of the difference in the condition
and character of the guests. In Edinburgh the landlord, with the scrupulous care of a herald or genealogist,
would, for a party, previously unacquainted with each other, have chosen his guests as nearly as possible
from the same rank of life; the London host had paid no respect to any such considerationall the strangers
were as dissimilar in fortune, profession, connections, and politics, as any four men in the class of gentlemen
could well be. I never spent a more delightful evening.
The ablest, the most eloquent, and the most elegant man present, without question, was the son of a saddler.
No expense had been spared on his education. His father, proud of his talents, had intended him for a seat in
Parliament; but Mr. T himself prefers the easy enjoyments of private life, and has kept himself aloof from
politics and parties. Were I to form an estimate of his qualifications to excel in public speaking, by the
clearness and beautiful propriety of his colloquial language, I should conclude that he was still destined to
perform a distinguished part. But he is content with the liberty of a private station, as a spectator only, and,
perhaps, in that he shows his wisdom; for undoubtedly such men are not cordially received among hereditary
statesmen, unless they evince a certain suppleness of principle, such as we have seen in the conduct of more
than one political adventurer.
The next in point of effect was young C G. He evidently languished under the influence of indisposition,
which, while it added to the natural gentleness of his manners, diminished the impression his
accomplishments would otherwise have made. I was greatly struck with the modesty with which he offered
his opinions, and could scarcely credit that he was the same individual whose eloquence in Parliament is by
many compared even to Mr. Canning's, and whose firmness of principle is so universally acknowledged, that
no one ever suspects him of being liable to change. You may have heard of his poem "On the Restoration of
Learning in the East," the most magnificent prize essay that the English Universities have produced for many
years. The passage in which he describes the talents, the researches, and learning of Sir William Jones, is
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worthy of the imagination of Burke; and yet, with all this oriental splendour of fancy, he has the reputation of
being a patient and methodical man of business. He looks, however, much more like a poet or a student, than
an orator and a statesman; and were statesmen the sort of personages which the spirit of the age attempts to
represent them, I, for one, should lament that a young man, possessed of so many amiable qualities, all so
tinted with the bright lights of a fine enthusiasm, should ever have been removed from the moonlighted
groves and peaceful cloisters of Magdalen College, to the lampsmelling passages and factious debates of St.
Stephen's Chapel. Mr. G certainly belongs to that high class of gifted men who, to the honour of the age,
have redeemed the literary character from the charge of unfitness for the concerns of public business; and he
has shown that talents for affairs of state, connected with literary predilections, are not limited to mere
reviewers, as some of your old classfellows would have the world to believe. When I contrast the quiet
unobtrusive development of Mr. G's character with that bustling and obstreperous elbowing into notice of
some of those to whom the Edinburgh Review owes half its fame, and compare the pure and steady lustre of
his elevation, to the rocketlike aberrations and perturbed blaze of their still uncertain course, I cannot but
think that we have overrated, if not their ability, at least their wisdom in the management of public affairs.
The third of the party was a little Yorkshire baronet. He was formerly in Parliament, but left it, as he says, on
account of its irregularities, and the bad hours it kept. He is a Whig, I understand, in politics, and indeed one
might guess as much by looking at him; for I have always remarked, that your Whigs have something odd
and particular about them. On making the same sort of remark to Argent, who, by the way, is a high
ministerial man, he observed, the thing was not to be wondered at, considering that the Whigs are exceptions
to the generality of mankind, which naturally accounts for their being always in the minority. Mr. T, the
saddler's son, who overheard us, said slyly, "That it might be so; but if it be true that the wise are few
compared to the multitude of the foolish, things would be better managed by the minority than as they are at
present."
The fourth guest was a stockbroker, a shrewd compound, with all charity be it spoken, of knavery and
humour. He is by profession an epicure, but I suspect his accomplishments in that capacity are not very well
founded; I would almost say, judging by the evident traces of craft and dissimulation in his physiognomy,
that they have been assumed as part of the means of getting into good company, to drive the more earnest
trade of moneymaking. Argent evidently understood his true character, though he treated him with jocular
familiarity. I thought it a fine example of the intellectual tact and superiority of T, that he seemed to view
him with dislike and contempt. But I must not give you my reasons for so thinking, as you set no value on my
own particular philosophy; besides, my paper tells me, that I have only room left to say, that it would be
difficult in Edinburgh to bring such a party together; and yet they affect there to have a metropolitan
character. In saying this, I mean only with reference to manners; the methods of behaviour in each of the
company were precisely similarthere was no eccentricity, but only that distinct and decided individuality
which nature gives, and which no acquired habits can change. Each, however, was the representative of a
class; and Edinburgh has no classes exactly of the same kind as those to which they belonged.Yours truly,
ANDREW PRINGLE.
Just as Mr. Snodgrass concluded the last sentence, one of the Clyde skippers, who had fallen asleep, gave
such an extravagant snore, followed by a groan, that it set the whole company alaughing, and interrupted the
critical strictures which would otherwise have been made on Mr. Andrew Pringle's epistle. "Damn it," said
he, "I thought myself in a fog, and could not tell whether the land ahead was Plada or the Lady Isle." Some of
the company thought the observation not inapplicable to what they had been hearing.
Miss Isabella Tod then begged that Miss Mally, their hostess, would favour the company with Mrs. Pringle's
communication. To this request that considerate maiden ornament of the Kirkgate deemed it necessary, by
way of preface to the letter, to say, "Ye a' ken that Mrs. Pringle's a managing woman, and ye maunna expect
any metaphysical philosophy from her." In the meantime, having taken the letter from her pocket, and placed
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her spectacles on that functionary of the face which was destined to wear spectacles, she began as follows:
LETTER XI
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn
My Dear Miss MallyWe have been at the countinghouse, and gotten a sort of a satisfaction; what the
upshot may be, I canna take it upon myself to prognosticate; but when the waur comes to the worst, I think
that baith Rachel and Andrew will have a nest egg, and the Doctor and me may sleep sound on their account,
if the nation doesna break, as the arglebarglers in the House of Parliament have been threatening: for all the
cornal's fortune is sunk at present in the pesents. Howsomever, it's our notion, when the legacies are paid off,
to lift the money out of the funds, and place it at good interest on hairetable securitie. But ye will hear aften
from us, before things come to that, for the delays, and the goings, and the comings in this town of London
are past all expreshon.
As yet, we have been to see no fairlies, except going in a coach from one part of the toun to another; but the
Doctor and me was at the hekirk of Saint Paul's for a purpose that I need not tell you, as it was adoing with
the right hand what the left should not know. I couldna say that I had there great pleasure, for the preacher
was very cauldrife, and read every word, and then there was such a beggary of popish prelacy, that it was
compassionate to a Christian to see.
We are to dine at Mr. Argent's, the cornal's hadgint, on Sunday, and me and Rachel have been getting
something for the okasion. Our landlady, Mrs. Sharkly, has recommended us to ane of the most fashionable
millinders in London, who keeps a grand shop in Cranburn Alla, and she has brought us arteecles to look at;
but I was surprised they were not finer, for I thought them of a very inferior quality, which she said was
because they were not made for no costomer, but for the public.
The Argents seem as if they would be discreet people, which, to us who are here in the jaws of jeopardy,
would be a great confortfor I am no overly satisfeet with many things. What would ye think of buying
coals by the stimpert, for anything that I know, and then setting up the poker afore the ribs, instead of
blowing with the bellies to make the fire burn? I was of a pinion that the Englishers were naturally masterful;
but I can ashure you this is no the case at alland I am beginning to think that the way of leeving from hand
to mouth is great frugality, when ye consider that all is left in the logive hands of uncercumseezed servans.
But what gives me the most concern at this time is one Captain Sabre of the Dragoon Hozars, who come up
in the smak with us from Leith, and is looking more after our Rachel than I could wish, now that she might
set her cap to another sort of object. But he's of a respectit family, and the young lad himself is no to be
despisid; howsomever, I never likit officirmen of any description, and yet the thing that makes me look
down on the captain is all owing to the cornal, who was an officer of the native poors of India, where the pay
must indeed have been extraordinar, for who ever heard either of a cornal, or any officer whomsoever,
making a hundred thousand pounds in our regiments? no that I say the cornal has left so meikle to us.
Tell Mrs. Glibbans that I have not heard of no sound preacher as yet in Londonthe want of which is no
doubt the great cause of the crying sins of the place. What would she think to hear of newspapers selling by
tout of horn on the Lord's day? and on the Sabbath night, the changehouses are more throng than on the
Saturday! I am told, but as yet I cannot say that I have seen the evil myself with my own eyes, that in the
summer time there are tea gardens, where the tradesmen go to smoke their pipes of tobacco, and to entertain
their wives and children, which can be nothing less than a bringing of them to an untimely end. But you will
be surprised to hear, that no such thing as whusky is to be had in the publichouses, where they drink only a
dead sort of beer; and that a bottle of true jennyinn London porter is rarely to be seen in the whole townall
kinds of piple getting their porter in pewter cans, and a laddie calls for in the morning to take away what has
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been yoused over night. But what I most miss is the want of creem. The milk here is just skimm, and I doot
not, likewise well wateredas for the water, a drink of clear wholesome good water is not within the bounds
of London; and truly, now may I say, that I have learnt what the blessing of a cup of cold water is.
Tell Miss Nanny Eydent, that the day of the burial is now settled, when we are going to Windsor Castle to see
the precessonand that, by the end of the wick, she may expect the fashions from me, with all the
particulars. Till then, I am, my dear Miss Mally, your friend and wellwisher,
JANET PRINGLE.
NOTO BENY.Give my kind compliments to Mrs. Glibbans, and let her know, that I will, after Sunday,
give her an account of the state of the Gospel in London.
Miss Mally paused when she had read the letter, and it was unanimously agreed, that Mrs. Pringle gave a
more full account of London than either father, son, or daughter.
By this time the night was far advanced, and Mrs. Glibbans was rising to go away, apprehensive, as she
observed, that they were going to bring "the carts" into the room. Upon Miss Mally, however, assuring her
that no such transgression was meditated, but that she intended to treat them with a bit nice Highland mutton
ham, and eggs, of her own laying, that worthy pillar of the Relief Kirk consented to remain.
It was past eleven o'clock when the party broke up; Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Micklewham walked home
together, and as they were crossing the Red Burn Bridge, at the entrance of Eglintoun Wood,a place well
noted from ancient times for preternatural appearances, Mr. Micklewham declared that he thought he heard
something purring among the bushes; upon which Mr. Snodgrass made a jocose observation, stating, that it
could be nothing but the effect of Lord North's strong ale in his head; and we should add, by way of
explanation, that the Lord North here spoken of was Willy Grieve, celebrated in Irvine for the strength and
flavour of his brewing, and that, in addition to a plentiful supply of his best, Miss Mally had entertained them
with tamarind punch, constituting a natural cause adequate to produce all the preternatural purring that
terrified the dominie.
CHAPTER VTHE ROYAL FUNERAL
Tam Glen having, in consequence of the exhortations of Mr. Micklewham, and the earnest entreaties of Mr.
Daff, backed by the pious animadversions of the rigidly righteous Mr. Craig, confessed a fault, and
acknowledged an irregular marriage with Meg Milliken, their child was admitted to church privileges. But
before the day of baptism, Mr. Daff, who thought Tam had given but sullen symptoms of penitence, said, to
put him in better humour with his fate, "Noo, Tam, since ye hae beguiled us of the infare, we maun mak up
for't at the christening; so I'll speak to Mr. Snodgrass to bid the Doctor's friens and acquaintance to the ploy,
that we may get as meikle amang us as will pay for the bairn's baptismal frock."
Mr. Craig, who was present, and who never lost an opportunity of testifying, as he said, his "discountenance
of the crying iniquity," remonstrated with Mr. Daff on the unchristian nature of the proposal, stigmatising it
with good emphasis "as a sinful nourishing of carnality in his day and generation." Mr. Micklewham,
however, interfered, and said, "It was a matter of weight and concernment, and therefore it behoves you to
consult Mr. Snodgrass on the fitness of the thing. For if the thing itself is not fit and proper, it cannot expect
his countenance; and, on that account, before we reckon on his compliance with what Mr. Daff has
propounded, we should first learn whether he approves of it at all." Whereupon the two elders and the
sessionclerk adjourned to the manse, in which Mr. Snodgrass, during the absence of the incumbent, had
taken up his abode.
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CHAPTER VTHE ROYAL FUNERAL 19
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The heads of the previous conversation were recapitulated by Mr. Micklewham, with as much brevity as was
consistent with perspicuity; and the matter being duly digested by Mr. Snodgrass, that orthodox young
manas Mrs. Glibbans denominated him, on hearing him for the first timedeclared that the notion of a
paychristening was a benevolent and kind thought: "For, is not the order to increase and multiply one of the
first commands in the Scriptures of truth?" said Mr. Snodgrass, addressing himself to Mr. Craig. "Surely,
then, when children are brought into the world, a great law of our nature has been fulfilled, and there is cause
for rejoicing and gladness! And is it not an obligation imposed upon all Christians, to welcome the stranger,
and to feed the hungry, and to clothe the naked; and what greater stranger can there be than a helpless babe?
Who more in need of sustenance than the infant, that knows not the way even to its mother's bosom? And
whom shall we clothe, if we do not the wailing innocent, that the hand of Providence places in poverty and
nakedness before us, to try, as it were, the depth of our Christian principles, and to awaken the sympathy of
our humane feelings?"
Mr. Craig replied, "It's a' very true and sound what Mr. Snodgrass has observed; but Tam Glen's wean is
neither a stranger, nor hungry, nor naked, but a sturdy brat, that has been rinning its lane for mair than sax
weeks." "Ah!" said Mr. Snodgrass familiarly, "I fear, Mr. Craig, ye're a Malthusian in your heart." The
sanctimonious elder was thunderstruck at the word. Of many a various shade and modification of
sectarianism he had heard, but the Malthusian heresy was new to his ears, and awful to his conscience, and he
begged Mr. Snodgrass to tell him in what it chiefly consisted, protesting his innocence of that, and of every
erroneous doctrine.
Mr. Snodgrass happened to regard the opinions of Malthus on Population as equally contrary to religion and
nature, and not at all founded in truth. "It is evident, that the reproductive principle in the earth and
vegetables, and all things and animals which constitute the means of subsistence, is much more vigorous than
in man. It may be therefore affirmed, that the multiplication of the means of subsistence is an effect of the
multiplication of population, for the one is augmented in quantity, by the skill and care of the other," said Mr.
Snodgrass, seizing with avidity this opportunity of stating what he thought on the subject, although his
auditors were but the sessionclerk, and two elders of a country parish. We cannot pursue the train of his
argument, but we should do injustice to the philosophy of Malthus, if we suppressed the observation which
Mr. Daff made at the conclusion. "Gude safe's!" said the goodnatured elder, "if it's true that we breed faster
than the Lord provides for us, we maun drown the poor folks' weans like kittlings." "Na, na!" exclaimed Mr.
Craig, "ye're a' out, neighbour; I see now the utility of churchcensures." "True!" said Mr. Micklewham; "and
the ordination of the stool of repentance, the horrors of which, in the opinion of the fifteen Lords at
Edinburgh, palliated childmurder, is doubtless a Malthusian institution." But Mr. Snodgrass put an end to
the controversy, by fixing a day for the christening, and telling he would do his best to procure a good
collection, according to the benevolent suggestion of Mr. Daff. To this cause we are indebted for the next
series of the Pringle correspondence; for, on the day appointed, Miss Mally Glencairn, Miss Isabella Tod,
Mrs. Glibbans and her daughter Becky, with Miss Nanny Eydent, together with other friends of the minister's
family, dined at the manse, and the conversation being chiefly about the concerns of the family, the letters
were produced and read.
LETTER XII
Andrew Pringle, Esq., to the Rev. Charles SnodgrassWINDSOR, CASTLEINN.
My Dear FriendI have all my life been strangely susceptible of pleasing impressions from public
spectacles where great crowds are assembled. This, perhaps, you will say, is but another way of confessing,
that, like the common vulgar, I am fond of sights and shows. It may be so, but it is not from the pageants that
I derive my enjoyment. A multitude, in fact, is to me as it were a strain of music, which, with an irresistible
and magical influence, calls up from the unknown abyss of the feelings new combinations of fancy, which,
though vague and obscure, as those nebulae of light that astronomers have supposed to be the rudiments of
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unformed stars, afterwards become distinct and brilliant acquisitions. In a crowd, I am like the somnambulist
in the highest degree of the luminous crisis, when it is said a new world is unfolded to his contemplation,
wherein all things have an intimate affinity with the state of man, and yet bear no resemblance to the objects
that address themselves to his corporeal faculties. This delightful experience, as it may be called, I have
enjoyed this evening, to an exquisite degree, at the funeral of the king; but, although the whole succession of
incidents is indelibly imprinted on my recollection, I am still so much affected by the emotion excited, as to
be incapable of conveying to you any intelligible description of what I saw. It was indeed a scene witnessed
through the medium of the feelings, and the effect partakes of the nature of a dream.
I was within the walls of an ancient castle,
"So old as if they had for ever stood, So strong as if they would for ever stand,"
and it was almost midnight. The towers, like the vast spectres of departed ages, raised their embattled heads
to the skies, monumental witnesses of the strength and antiquity of a great monarchy. A prodigious multitude
filled the courts of that venerable edifice, surrounding on all sides a dark embossed structure, the
sarcophagus, as it seemed to me at the moment, of the heroism of chivalry.
"A change came o'er the spirit of my dream," and I beheld the scene suddenly illuminated, and the blaze of
torches, the glimmering of arms, and warriors and horses, while a mosaic of human faces covered like a
pavement the courts. A deep low under sound pealed from a distance; in the same moment, a trumpet
answered with a single mournful note from the stateliest and darkest portion of the fabric, and it was
whispered in every ear, "It is coming." Then an awful cadence of solemn music, that affected the heart like
silence, was heard at intervals, and a numerous retinue of grave and venerable men,
"The fathers of their time, Those mighty master spirits, that withstood The fall of monarchies, and high
upheld Their country's standard, glorious in the storm,"
passed slowly before me, bearing the emblems and trophies of a king. They were as a series of great historical
events, and I beheld behind them, following and followed, an awful and indistinct image, like the vision of
Job. It moved on, and I could not discern the form thereof, but there were honours and heraldries, and sorrow,
and silence, and I heard the stir of a profound homage performing within the breasts of all the witnesses. But
I must not indulge myself farther on this subject. I cannot hope to excite in you the emotions with which I
was so profoundly affected. In the visible objects of the funeral of George the Third there was but little
magnificence; all its sublimity was derived from the trains of thought and currents of feeling, which the sight
of so many illustrious characters, surrounded by circumstances associated with the greatness and antiquity of
the kingdom, was necessarily calculated to call forth. In this respect, however, it was perhaps the sublimest
spectacle ever witnessed in this island; and I am sure, that I cannot live so long as ever again to behold
another, that will equally interest me to the same depth and extent. Yours, ANDREW PRINGLE.
We should ill perform the part of faithful historians, did we omit to record the sentiments expressed by the
company on this occasion. Mrs. Glibbans, whose knowledge of the points of orthodoxy had not their equal in
the three adjacent parishes, roundly declared, that Mr. Andrew Pringle's letter was nothing but a peesemeal of
clishmaclavers; that there was no sense in it; and that it was just like the writer, a canary idiot, a touch here
and a touch there, without anything in the shape of cordiality or satisfaction.
Miss Isabella Tod answered this objection with that sweetness of manner and virgin diffidence, which so well
becomes a youthful member of the establishment, controverting the dogmas of a stoop of the Relief
persuasion, by saying, that she thought Mr. Andrew had shown a fine sensibility. "What is sensibility without
judgment," cried her adversary, "but a thrashing in the water, and a raising of bells? Couldna the fallow,
without a' his parleyvoos, have said, that such and such was the case, and that the Lord giveth and the Lord
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CHAPTER VTHE ROYAL FUNERAL 21
Page No 24
taketh away?but his clouds, and his spectres, and his visions of Job!Oh, an he could but think like
Job!Oh, an he would but think like the patient man!and was obliged to claut his flesh with a bit of a
broken crock, we might have some hope of repentance unto life. But Andrew Pringle, he's a gone dick; I
never had comfort or expectation of the freethinker, since I heard that he was infected with the blue and
yellow calamity of the Edinburgh Review; in which, I am credibly told, it is set forth, that women have nae
souls, but only a gut, and a gaw, and a gizzard, like a pigeondove, or a ravencrow, or any other outcast and
abominated quadruped."
Here Miss Mally Glencairn interposed her effectual mediation, and said, "It is very true that Andrew deals in
the diplomatics of obscurity; but it's well known that he has a nerve for genius, and that, in his own way, he
kens the loan from the crown of the causeway, as well as the duck does the midden from the adle dib." To
this proverb, which we never heard before, a learned friend, whom we consulted on the subject, has enabled
us to state, that middens were formerly of great magnitude, and often of no less antiquity in the west of
Scotland; in so much, that the Trongate of Glasgow owes all its spacious grandeur to them. It being within
the recollection of persons yet living, that the said magnificent street was at one time an open road, or
highway, leading to the Trone, or market cross, with thatched houses on each side, such as may still be seen
in the pure and immaculate royal borough of Rutherglen; and that before each house stood a luxuriant
midden, by the removal of which, in the progress of modern degeneracy, the stately architecture of Argyle
Street was formed. But not to insist at too great a length on such topics of antiquarian lore, we shall now
insert Dr. Pringle's account of the funeral, and which, patly enough, follows our digression concerning the
middens and magnificence of Glasgow, as it contains an authentic anecdote of a manufacturer from that city,
drinking champaign at the king's dirgie.
LETTER XIII
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk of GarnockLONDON.
Dear SirI have received your letter, and it is a great pleasure to me to hear that my people were all so much
concerned at our distress in the Leith smack; but what gave me the most contentment was the repentance of
Tam Glen. I hope, poor fellow, he will prove a good husband; but I have my doubts; for the wife has really
but a small share of common sense, and no married man can do well unless his wife will let him. I am,
however, not overly pleased with Mr. Craig on the occasion, for he should have considered frail human
nature, and accepted of poor Tam's confession of a fault, and allowed the bairn to be baptized without any
more ado. I think honest Mr. Daff has acted like himself, and I trust and hope there will be a great gathering
at the christening, and, that my mite may not be wanting, you will slip in a guinea note when the dish goes
round, but in such a manner, that it may not be jealoused from whose hand it comes.
Since my last letter, we have been very thrang in the way of seeing the curiosities of London; but I must go
on regular, and tell you all, which, I think, it is my duty to do, that you may let my people know. First, then,
we have been at Windsor Castle, to see the king lying in state, and, afterwards, his interment; and sorry am I
to say, it was not a sight that could satisfy any godly mind on such an occasion. We went in a coach of our
own, by ourselves, and found the town of Windsor like a cried fair. We were then directed to the Castle gate,
where a terrible crowd was gathered together; and we had not been long in that crowd, till a pocketpicker, as
I thought, cutted off the tail of my coat, with my pocketbook in my pocket, which I never missed at the
time. But it seems the coat tail was found, and a policeman got it, and held it up on the end of his stick, and
cried, whose pocket is this? showing the book that was therein in his hand. I was confounded to see my
pocketbook there, and could scarcely believe my own eyes; but Mrs. Pringle knew it at the first glance, and
said, "It's my gudeman's"; at the which, there was a great shout of derision among the multitude, and we
would baith have then been glad to disown the pocketbook, but it was returned to us, I may almost say,
against our will; but the scorners, when they saw our confusion, behaved with great civility towards us, so
that we got into the Castleyard with no other damage than the loss of the flap of my coat tail.
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Being in the Castleyard, we followed the crowd into another gate, and up a stair, and saw the king lying in
state, which was a very dismal sightand I thought of Solomon in all his glory, when I saw the coffin, and
the mutes, and the mourners; and reflecting on the long infirmity of mind of the good old king, I said to
myself, in the words of the book of Job, "Doth not their excellency which is in them go away? they die even
without wisdom!'
When we had seen the sight, we came out of the Castle, and went to an inn to get a chack of dinner; but there
was such a crowd, that no restingplace could for a time be found for us. Gentle and semple were there, all
mingled, and no respect of persons; only there was, at a table nigh unto ours, a fat Glasgow manufacturer,
who ordered a bottle of champaign wine, and did all he could in the drinking of it by himself, to show that he
was a man in welldoing circumstances. While he was talking over his wine, a great peer of the realm, with a
star on his breast, came into the room, and ordered a glass of brandy and water; and I could see, when he saw
the Glasgow manufacturer drinking champaign wine on that occasion, that he greatly marvelled thereat.
When we had taken our dinner, we went out to walk and see the town of Windsor; but there was such a mob
of coaches going and coming, and men and horses, that we left the streets, and went to inspect the king's
policy, which is of great compass, but in a careless order, though it costs a world of money to keep it up.
Afterwards, we went back to the inns, to get tea for Mrs. Pringle and her daughter, while Andrew Pringle, my
son, was seeing if he could get tickets to buy, to let us into the inside of the Castle, to see the burialbut he
came back without luck, and I went out myself, being more experienced in the world, and I saw a gentleman's
servant with a ticket in his hand, and I asked him to sell it to me, which the man did with thankfulness, for
five shillings, although the price was said to be golden guineas. But as this ticket admitted only one person, it
was hard to say what should be done with it when I got back to my family. However, as by this time we were
all very much fatigued, I gave it to Andrew Pringle, my son, and Mrs. Pringle, and her daughter Rachel,
agreed to bide with me in the inns.
Andrew Pringle, my son, having got the ticket, left us sitting, when shortly after in came a nobleman, high in
the cabinet, as I think he must have been, and he having politely asked leave to take his tea at our table,
because of the great throng in the house, we fell into a conversation together, and he, understanding thereby
that I was a minister of the Church of Scotland, said he thought he could help us into a place to see the
funeral; so, after he had drank his tea, he took us with him, and got us into the Castleyard, where we had an
excellent place, near to the Glasgow manufacturer that drank the champaign. The drink by this time,
however, had got into that poor man's head, and he talked so loud, and so little to the purpose, that the
soldiers who were guarding were obliged to make him hold his peace, at which he was not a little nettled, and
told the soldiers that he had himself been a soldier, and served the king without pay, having been a volunteer
officer. But this had no more effect than to make the soldiers laugh at him, which was not a decent thing at
the interment of their master, our most gracious Sovereign that was.
However, in this situation we saw all; and I can assure you it was a very edifying sight; and the people
demeaned themselves with so much propriety, that there was no need for any guards at all; indeed, for that
matter, of the two, the guards, who had eaten the king's bread, were the only ones there, saving and excepting
the Glasgow manufacturer, that manifested an irreverent spirit towards the royal obsequies. But they are men
familiar with the king of terrors on the field of battle, and it was not to be expected that their hearts would be
daunted like those of others by a doing of a civil character.
When all was over, we returned to the inns, to get our chaise, to go back to London that night, for beds were
not to be had for love or money at Windsor, and we reached our temporary home in Norfolk Street about four
o'clock in the morning, well satisfied with what we had seen,but all the meantime I had forgotten the loss
of the flap of my coat, which caused no little sport when I came to recollect what a pookit like body I must
have been, walking about in the king's policy like a peacock without my tail. But I must conclude, for Mrs.
Pringle has a letter to put in the frank for Miss Nanny Eydent, which you will send to her by one of your
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scholars, as it contains information that may be serviceable to Miss Nanny in her business, both as a
mantuamaker and a superintendent of the genteeler sort of burials at Irvine and our vicinity. So that this is
all from your friend and pastor,
ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
"I think," said Miss Isabella Tod, as Mr. Micklewham finished the reading of the Doctor's epistle, "that my
friend Rachel might have given me some account of the ceremony; but Captain Sabre seems to have been a
much more interesting object to her than the pride and pomp to her brother, or even the Glasgow
manufacturer to her father." In saying these words, the young lady took the following letter from her pocket,
and was on the point of beginning to read it, when Miss Becky Glibbans exclaimed, "I had aye my fears that
Rachel was but lightheaded, and I'll no be surprised to hear more about her and the dragoon or a's done."
Mr. Snodgrass looked at Becky, as if he had been afflicted at the moment with unpleasant ideas; and perhaps
he would have rebuked the spitefulness of her insinuations, had not her mother sharply snubbed the
uncongenial maiden, in terms at least as pungent as any which the reverend gentleman would have employed.
"I'm sure," replied Miss Becky, pertly, "I meant no ill; but if Rachel Pringle can write about nothing but this
Captain Sabre, she might as well let it alone, and her letter canna be worth the hearing." "Upon that," said the
clergyman, "we can form a judgment when we have heard it, and I beg that Miss Isabella may
proceed,"which she did accordingly.
LETTER XIV
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella TodLONDON.
My Dear BellI take up my pen with a feeling of disappointment such as I never felt before. Yesterday was
the day appointed for the funeral of the good old king, and it was agreed that we should go to Windsor, to
pour the tribute of our tears upon the royal hearse. Captain Sabre promised to go with us, as he is well
acquainted with the town, and the interesting objects around the Castle, so dear to chivalry, and embalmed by
the genius of Shakespeare and many a minor bard, and I promised myself a day of unclouded felicitybut
the captain was ordered to be on duty,and the crowd was so rude and riotous, that I had no enjoyment
whatever; but, pining with chagrin at the little respect paid by the rabble to the virtues of the departed
monarch, I would fainly have retired into some solemn and sequestered grove, and breathed my sorrows to
the listening waste. Nor was the loss of the captain, to explain and illuminate the different baronial
circumstances around the Castle, the only thing I had to regret in this evermemorable excursionmy tender
and affectionate mother was so desirous to see everything in the most particular manner, in order that she
might give an account of the funeral to Nanny Eydent, that she had no mercy either upon me or my father, but
obliged us to go with her to the most difficult and inaccessible places. How vain was all this meritorious
assiduity! for of what avail can the ceremonies of a royal funeral be to Miss Nanny, at Irvine, where kings
never die, and where, if they did, it is not at all probable that Miss Nanny would be employed to direct their
solemn obsequies? As for my brother, he was so entranced with his own enthusiasm, that he paid but little
attention to us, which made me the more sensible of the want we suffered from the absence of Captain Sabre.
In a word, my dear Bell, never did I pass a more unsatisfactory day, and I wish it blotted for ever from my
remembrance. Let it therefore be consigned to the abysses of oblivion, while I recall the more pleasing
incidents that have happened since I wrote you last.
On Sunday, according to invitation, as I told you, we dined with the Argentsand were entertained by them
in a style at once most splendid, and on the most easy footing. I shall not attempt to describe the consumable
materials of the table, but call your attention, my dear friend, to the intellectual portion of the entertainment, a
subject much more congenial to your delicate and refined character.
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Mrs. Argent is a lady of considerable personal magnitude, of an open and affable disposition. In this respect,
indeed, she bears a striking resemblance to her nephew, Captain Sabre, with whose relationship to her we
were unacquainted before that day. She received us as friends in whom she felt a peculiar interest; for when
she heard that my mother had got her dress and mine from Cranbury Alley, she expressed the greatest
astonishment, and told us, that it was not at all a place where persons of fashion could expect to be properly
served. Nor can I disguise the fact, that the flounced and gorgeous garniture of our dresses was in shocking
contrast to the amiable simplicity of hers and the fair Arabella, her daughter, a charming girl, who,
notwithstanding the fashionable splendour in which she has been educated, displays a delightful sprightliness
of manner, that, I have some notion, has not been altogether lost on the heart of my brother.
When we returned upstairs to the drawingroom, after dinner, Miss Arabella took her harp, and was on the
point of favouring us with a Mozart; but her mother, recollecting that we were Presbyterians, thought it might
not be agreeable, and she desisted, which I was sinful enough to regret; but my mother was so evidently
alarmed at the idea of playing on the harp on a Sunday night, that I suppressed my own wishes, in filial
veneration for those of that respected parent. Indeed, fortunate it was that the music was not performed; for,
when we returned home, my father remarked with great solemnity, that such a way of passing the Lord's
night as we had passed it, would have been a great sin in Scotland.
Captain Sabre, who called on us next morning, was so delighted when he understood that we were acquainted
with his aunt, that he lamented he had not happened to know it before, as he would, in that case, have met us
there. He is indeed very attentive, but I assure you that I feel no particular interest about him; for although he
is certainly a very handsome young man, he is not such a genius as my brother, and has no literary
partialities. But literary accomplishments are, you know, foreign to the military profession, and if the captain
has not distinguished himself by cutting up authors in the reviews, he has acquired an honourable medal, by
overcoming the enemies of the civilised world at Waterloo.
Tonight the playhouses open again, and we are going to the Oratorio, and the captain goes with us, a
circumstance which I am the more pleased at, as we are strangers, and he will tell us the names of the
performers. My father made some scruple of consenting to be of the party; but when he heard that an Oratorio
was a concert of sacred music, he thought it would be only a sinless deviation if he did, so he goes likewise.
The captain, therefore, takes an early dinner with us at five o'clock. Alas! to what changes am I doomed,
that was the tea hour at the manse of Garnock. Oh, when shall I revisit the primitive simplicities of my
native scenes again! But neither time nor distance, my dear Bell, can change the affection with which I
subscribe myself, ever affectionately, yours,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
At the conclusion of this letter, the countenance of Mrs. Glibbans was evidently so darkened, that it daunted
the company, like an eclipse of the sun, when all nature is saddened. "What think you, Mr. Snodgrass," said
that spiritstricken lady,"what think you of this dining on the Lord's day,this playing on the harp; the
carnal Mozarting of that ungodly family, with whom the corrupt human nature of our friends has been
chambering?" Mr. Snodgrass was at some loss for an answer, and hesitated, but Miss Mally Glencairn
relieved him from his embarrassment, by remarking, that "the harp was a holy instrument," which somewhat
troubled the settled orthodoxy of Mrs. Glibbans's visage. "Had it been an organ," said Mr. Snodgrass, dryly,
"there might have been, perhaps, more reason to doubt; but, as Miss Mally justly remarks, the harp has been
used from the days of King David in the performances of sacred music, together with the psalter, the timbrel,
the sackbut, and the cymbal." The wrath of the polemical Deborah of the ReliefKirk was somewhat
appeased by this explanation, and she inquired in a more diffident tone, whether a Mozart was not a metrical
paraphrase of the song of Moses after the overthrow of the Egyptians in the Red Sea; "in which case, I must
own," she observed, "that the sin and guilt of the thing is less grievous in the sight of HIM before whom all
the actions of men are abominations." Miss Isabella Tod, availing herself of this break in the conversation,
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turned round to Miss Nanny Eydent, and begged that she would read her letter from Mrs. Pringle. We should
do injustice, however, to honest worth and patient industry were we, in thus introducing Miss Nanny to our
readers, not to give them some account of her lowly and virtuous character.
Miss Nanny was the eldest of three sisters, the daughters of a shipmaster, who was lost at sea when they were
very young; and his all having perished with him, they were indeed, as their mother said, the children of
Poverty and Sorrow. By the help of a little credit, the widow contrived, in a small shop, to eke out her days
till Nanny was able to assist her. It was the intention of the poor woman to take up a girl's school for reading
and knitting, and Nanny was destined to instruct the pupils in that higher branch of accomplishmentthe
different stitches of the sampler. But about the time that Nanny was advancing to the requisite degree of
perfection in chainsteek and pieholesindeed had made some progress in the Lord's prayer between two
yew treestambouring was introduced at Irvine, and Nanny was sent to acquire a competent knowledge of
that classic art, honoured by the fair hands of the beautiful Helen and the chaste and domestic Andromache.
In this she instructed her sisters; and such was the fruit of their application and constant industry, that her
mother abandoned the design of keeping school, and continued to ply her little huxtry in more easy
circumstances. The fluctuations of trade in time taught them that it would not be wise to trust to the loom, and
accordingly Nanny was at some pains to learn mantuamaking; and it was fortunate that she did sofor the
tambouring gradually went out of fashion, and the flowering which followed suited less the infirm
constitution of poor Nanny. The making of gowns for ordinary occasions led to the making of mournings,
and the making of mournings naturally often caused Nanny to be called in at deaths, which, in process of
time, promoted her to have the management of burials; and in this line of business she has now a large
proportion of the genteelest in Irvine and its vicinity; and in all her various engagements her behaviour has
been as blameless and obliging as her assiduity has been uniform; insomuch, that the numerous ladies to
whom she is known take a particular pleasure in supplying her with the newest patterns, and earliest
information, respecting the varieties and changes of fashions; and to the influence of the same good feelings
in the breast of Mrs. Pringle, Nanny was indebted for the following letter. How far the information which it
contains may be deemed exactly suitable to the circumstances in which Miss Nanny's lot is cast, our readers
may judge for themselves; but we are happy to state, that it has proved of no small advantage to her: for since
it has been known that she had received a full, true, and particular account, of all manner of London fashions,
from so managing and notable a woman as the minister's wife of Garnock, her consideration has been so
augmented in the opinion of the neighbouring gentlewomen, that she is not only consulted as to funerals, but
is often called in to assist in the decoration and arrangement of weddingdinners, and other occasions of
sumptuous banqueting; by which she is enabled, during the suspension of the flowering trade, to earn a lowly
but a respected livelihood.
LETTER XV
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Nanny Eydent, Mantuamaker, Seagate Head, IrvineLONDON.
Dear Miss NannyMiss Mally Glencairn would tell you all how it happent that I was disabled, by our
misfortunes in the ship, from riting to you konserning the London fashons as I promist; for I wantit to be
partikylor, and to say nothing but what I saw with my own eyes, that it might be servisable to you in your
biznessso now I will begin with the old king's burial, as you have sometimes okashon to lend a helping
hand in that way at Irvine, and nothing could be more genteeler of the kind than a royal obsakew for a patron;
but no living sole can give a distink account of this matter, for you know the old king was the father of his
piple, and the croud was so great. Howsomever we got into our oun hired shaze at daylight; and when we
were let out at the castel yett of Windsor, we went into the mob, and by and by we got within the castel walls,
when great was the lamentation for the purdition of shawls and shoos, and the Doctor's coat pouch was clippit
off by a pocket picker. We then ran to a wicketgate, and up an old timberstair with a rope ravel, and then
we got to a great pentit chamber called King George's Hall: After that we were allowt to go into another room
full of guns and guards, that told us all to be silent: so then we all went like sawlies, holding our tongues in an
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awful manner, into a dysmal room hung with black cloth, and lighted with dum waxcandles in silver
skonses, and men in a row all in mulancholic posters. At length and at last we came to the coffin; but
although I was as partikylar as possoble, I could see nothing that I would recommend. As for the interment,
there was nothing but evendown wastriewaxcandles blowing away in the wind, and flunkies as fou as
pipers, and an unreverent mob that scarsely could demean themselves with decency as the body was going
by; only the Duke of York, who carrit the head, had on no hat, which I think was the newest identical thing in
the affair: but really there was nothing that could be recommended. Howsomever I understood that there was
no draigie, which was a saving; for the bread and wine for such a multitude would have been a destruction to
a lord's living: and this is the only point that the fashon set in the king's feunoral may be follot in Irvine.
Since the burial, we have been to see the play, where the leddies were all in deep murning; but excepting that
some had black gum floors on their heads, I saw leetil for admirationonly that bugles, I can ashure you,
are not worn at all this season; and surely this murning must be a vast detrimint to biznessfor where there
is no verietie, there can be but leetil to do in your line. But one thing I should not forget, and that is, that in
the vera best houses, after tea and coffee after dinner, a cordial dram is handed about; but likewise I could
observe, that the fruit is not set on with the cheese, as in our part of the country, but comes, after the cloth is
drawn, with the wine; and no such a thing as a punchbowl is to be heard of within the four walls of London.
Howsomever, what I principally notised was, that the tea and coffee is not made by the lady of the house, but
out of the room, and brought in without sugar or milk, on servors, every one helping himself, and only plain
flimsy loaf and butter is servedno such thing as shortbread, seedcake, bun, marmlet, or jeelly to be seen,
which is an okonomical plan, and well worthy of adaptation in ginteel families with narrow incomes, in
Irvine or elsewhere.
But when I tell you what I am now going to say, you will not be surprizt at the great wealth in London. I paid
for a bumbeseen gown, not a bit better than the one that was made by you that the sore calamity befell, and
no so fine neither, more than three times the price; so you see, Miss Nanny, if you were going to pouse your
fortune, you could not do better than pack up your ends and your awls and come to London. But ye're far
better at homefor this is not a town for any creditable young woman like you, to live in by herself, and I
am wearying to be back, though it's hard to say when the Doctor will get his counts settlet. I wish you,
howsomever, to mind the patches for the bedcover that I was going to patch, for a licht afternoon seam, as
the murning for the king will no be so general with you, and the spring fashons will be coming on to help my
gatheringso no more at present from your friend and well wisher, JANET PRINGLE.
CHAPTER VIPHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION
On Sunday morning, before going to church, Mr. Micklewham called at the manse, and said that he wished
particularly to speak to Mr. Snodgrass. Upon being admitted, he found the young helper engaged at breakfast,
with a book lying on his table, very like a volume of a new novel called Ivanhoe, in its appearance, but of
course it must have been sermons done up in that manner to attract fashionable readers. As soon, however, as
Mr. Snodgrass saw his visitor, he hastily removed the book, and put it into the tabledrawer.
The precentor having taken a seat at the opposite side of the fire, began somewhat diffidently to mention, that
he had received a letter from the Doctor, that made him at a loss whether or not he ought to read it to the
elders, as usual, after worship, and therefore was desirous of consulting Mr. Snodgrass on the subject, for it
recorded, among other things, that the Doctor had been at the playhouse, and Mr. Micklewham was quite sure
that Mr. Craig would be neither to bind nor to hold when he heard that, although the transgression was
certainly mollified by the nature of the performance. As the clergyman, however, could offer no opinion until
he saw the letter, the precentor took it out of his pocket, and Mr. Snodgrass found the contents as follows:
LETTER XVI
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Page No 30
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk, GarnockLONDON.
Dear SirYou will recollect that, about twenty years ago, there was a great sound throughout all the West
that a playhouse in Glasgow had been converted into a tabernacle of religion. I remember it was glad tidings
to our ears in the parish of Garnock; and that Mr. Craig, who had just been ta'en on for an elder that fall, was
for having a thanksgivingday on the account thereof, holding it to be a signal manifestation of a new birth in
the ofoldgodly town of Glasgow, which had become slack in the way of welldoing, and the church
therein lukewarm, like that of Laodicea. It was then said, as I well remember, that when the Tabernacle was
opened, there had not been seen, since the Kaimslang wark, such a congregation as was there assembled,
which was a great proof that it's the matter handled, and not the place, that maketh pure; so that when you and
the elders hear that I have been at the theatre of Drury Lane, in London, you must not think that I was there to
see a carnal stage play, whether tragical or comical, or that I would so far demean myself and my cloth, as to
be a witness to the chambering and wantonness of ne'erduweel playactors. No, Mr. Micklewham, what I
went to see was an Oratorio, a most edifying exercise of psalmody and prayer, under the management of a
pious gentleman, of the name of Sir George Smart, who is, as I am informed, at the greatest pains to instruct
the exhibitioners, they being, for the most part, before they get into his hands, poor uncultivated creatures,
from Italy, France, and Germany, and other atheistical and popish countries.
They first sung a hymn together very decently, and really with as much civilised harmony as could be
expected from novices; indeed so well, that I thought them almost as melodious as your own singing class of
the trades lads from Kilwinning. Then there was one Mr. Braham, a Jewish proselyte, that was set forth to
show us a specimen of his proficiency. In the praying part, what he said was no objectionable as to the
matter; but he drawled in his manner to such a pitch, that I thought he would have broken out into an
evendown song, as I sometimes think of yourself when you spin out the last word in reading out the line in a
warm summer afternoon. In the hymn by himself, he did better; he was, however, sometimes like to lose the
tune, but the people gave him great encouragement when he got back again. Upon the whole, I had no notion
that there was any such Christianity in practice among the Londoners, and I am happy to tell you, that the
house was very well filled, and the congregation wonderful attentive. No doubt that excellent man, Mr. W,
has a hand in these public strainings after grace, but he was not there that night; for I have seen him; and
surely at the sight I could not but say to myself, that it's beyond the compass of the understanding of man to
see what great things Providence worketh with small means, for Mr. W is a small creature. When I beheld
his diminutive stature, and thought of what he had achieved for the poor negroes and others in the house of
bondage, I said to myself, that here the hand of Wisdom is visible, for the load of perishable mortality is laid
lightly on his spirit, by which it is enabled to clap its wings and crow so crously on the dunghill top of this
world; yea even in the House of Parliament.
I was taken last Thursday morning to breakfast with him his house at Kensington, by an East India man, who
is likewise surely a great saint. It was a hearthealing meeting of many of the godly, which he holds weekly
in the season; and we had such a warsle of the spirit among us that the like cannot be told. I was called upon
to pray, and a worthy gentleman said, when I was done, that he never had met with more apostolic
simplicityindeed, I could see with the tail of my eye, while I was praying, that the chief saint himself was
listening with a curious pleasant satisfaction.
As for our doings here anent the legacy, things are going forward in the regular manner; but the expense is
terrible, and I have been obliged to take up money on account; but, as it was freely given by the agents, I am
in hopes all will end well; for, considering that we are but strangers to them, they would not have assisted us
in this matter had they not been sure of the means of payment in their own hands.
The people of London are surprising kind to us; we need not, if we thought proper ourselves, eat a dinner in
our own lodgings; but it would ill become me, at my time of life, and with the character for sobriety that I
have maintained, to show an example in my latter days of riotous living; therefore, Mrs. Pringle, and her
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CHAPTER VIPHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION 28
Page No 31
daughter, and me, have made a point of going nowhere three times in the week; but as for Andrew Pringle,
my son, he has forgathered with some acquaintance, and I fancy we will be obliged to let him take the length
of his tether for a while. But not altogether without a curb neither, for the agent's son, young Mr. Argent, had
almost persuaded him to become a member of Parliament, which he said he could get him made, for more
than a thousand pounds less than the common price the state of the new king's health having lowered the
commodity of seats. But this I would by no means hear of; he is not yet come to years of discretion enough to
sit in council; and, moreover, he has not been tried; and no man, till he has out of doors shown something of
what he is, should be entitled to power and honour within. Mrs. Pringle, however, thought he might do as
well as young Dunure; but Andrew Pringle, my son, has not the solidity of head that Mr. Kdy has, and is
over free and outspoken, and cannot take such pains to make his little go a great way, like that wellbehaved
young gentleman. But you will be grieved to hear that Mr. Kdy is in opposition to the government; and truly
I am at a loss to understand how a man of Whig principles can be an adversary to the House of Hanover. But
I never meddled much in politick affairs, except at this time, when I prohibited Andrew Pringle, my son, from
offering to be a member of Parliament, notwithstanding the great bargain that he would have had of the place.
And since we are on public concerns, I should tell you, that I was minded to send you a newspaper at the
secondhand, every day when we were done with it. But when we came to inquire, we found that we could
get the newspaper for a shilling a week every morning but Sunday, to our breakfast, which was so much
cheaper than buying a whole paper, that Mrs. Pringle thought it would be a great extravagance; and, indeed,
when I came to think of the loss of time a newspaper every day would occasion to my people, I considered it
would be very wrong of me to send you any at all. For I do think that honest folks in a faroff country parish
should not make or meddle with the things that pertain to government,the more especially, as it is well
known, that there is as much falsehood as truth in newspapers, and they have not the means of testing their
statements. Not, however, that I am an advocate for passive obedience; God forbid. On the contrary, if ever
the time should come, in my day, of a saintslaying tyrant attempting to bind the burden of prelatic
abominations on our backs, such a blast of the gospel trumpet would be heard in Garnock, as it does not
become me to say, but I leave it to you and others, who have experienced my capacity as a soldier of the
word so long, to think what it would then be. Meanwhile, I remain, my dear sir, your friend and pastor, Z.
PRINGLE.
When Mr. Snodgrass had perused this epistle, he paused some time, seemingly in doubt, and then he said to
Mr. Micklewham, that, considering the view which the Doctor had taken of the matter, and that he had not
gone to the playhouse for the motives which usually take bad people to such places, he thought there could be
no possible harm in reading the letter to the elders, and that Mr. Craig, so far from being displeased, would
doubtless be exceedingly rejoiced to learn that the playhouses of London were occasionally so well employed
as on the night when the Doctor was there.
Mr. Micklewham then inquired if Mr. Snodgrass had heard from Mr. Andrew, and was answered in the
affirmative; but the letter was not read. Why it was withheld our readers must guess for themselves; but we
have been fortunate enough to obtain the following copy.
LETTER XVII
Andrew Pringle, Esq., to the Rev. Mr. Charles SnodgrassLONDON.
My Dear FriendAs the season advances, London gradually unfolds, like Nature, all the variety of her
powers and pleasures. By the Argents we have been introduced effectually into society, and have now only to
choose our acquaintance among those whom we like best. I should employ another word than choose, for I
am convinced that there is no choice in the matter. In his friendships and affections, man is subject to some
inscrutable moral law, similar in its effects to what the chemists call affinity. While under the blind influence
of this sympathy, we, forsooth, suppose ourselves free agents! But a truce with philosophy.
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The amount of the legacy is now ascertained. The stock, however, in which a great part of the money is
vested being shut, the transfer to my father cannot be made for some time; and till this is done, my mother
cannot be persuaded that we have yet got anything to trust toan unfortunate notion which renders her very
unhappy. The old gentleman himself takes no interest now in the business. He has got his mind at ease by the
payment of all the legacies; and having fallen in with some of the members of that political junto, the Saints,
who are worldly enough to link, as often as they can, into their association, the powerful by wealth or talent,
his whole time is occupied in assisting to promote their humbug; and he has absolutely taken it into his head,
that the attention he receives from them for his subscriptions is on account of his eloquence as a preacher, and
that hitherto he has been altogether in an error with respect to his own abilities. The effect of this is
abundantly amusing; but the source of it is very evident. Like most people who pass a sequestered life, he had
formed an exaggerated opinion of public characters; and on seeing them in reality so little superior to the
generality of mankind, he imagines that he was all the time nearer to their level than he had ventured to
suppose; and the discovery has placed him on the happiest terms with himself. It is impossible that I can
respect his manifold excellent qualities and goodness of heart more than I do; but there is an innocency in this
simplicity, which, while it often compels me to smile, makes me feel towards him a degree of tenderness,
somewhat too familiar for that filial reverence that is due from a son.
Perhaps, however, you will think me scarcely less under the influence of a similar delusion when I tell you,
that I have been somehow or other drawn also into an association, not indeed so public or potent as that of the
Saints, but equally persevering in the objects for which it has been formed. The drift of the Saints, as far as I
can comprehend the matter, is to procure the advancement to political power of men distinguished for the
purity of their lives, and the integrity of their conduct; and in that way, I presume, they expect to effect the
accomplishment of that blessed epoch, the Millennium, when the Saints are to rule the whole earth. I do not
mean to say that this is their decided and determined object; I only infer, that it is the necessary tendency of
their proceedings; and I say it with all possible respect and sincerity, that, as a public party, the Saints are not
only perhaps the most powerful, but the party which, at present, best deserves power.
The association, however, with which I have happened to become connected, is of a very different
description. Their object is, to pass through life with as much pleasure as they can obtain, without doing
anything unbecoming the rank of gentlemen, and the character of men of honour. We do not assemble such
numerous meetings as the Saints, the Whigs, or the Radicals, nor are our speeches delivered with so much
vehemence. We even, I think, tacitly exclude oratory. In a word, our meetings seldom exceed the perfect
number of the muses; and our object on these occasions is not so much to deliberate on plans of prospective
benefits to mankind, as to enjoy the present time for ourselves, under the temperate inspiration of a
wellcooked dinner, flavoured with elegant wine, and just so much of mind as suits the fleeting topics of the
day. T, whom I formerly mentioned, introduced me to this delightful society. The members consist of about
fifty gentlemen, who dine occasionally at each other's houses; the company being chiefly selected from the
brotherhood, if that term can be applied to a circle of acquaintance, who, without any formal institution of
rules, have gradually acquired a consistency that approximates to organisation. But the universe of this vast
city contains a plurality of systems; and the one into which I have been attracted may be described as that of
the idle intellects. In general society, the members of our party are looked up to as men of taste and
refinement, and are received with a degree of deference that bears some resemblance to the respect paid to the
hereditary endowment of rank. They consist either of young men who have acquired distinction at college, or
gentlemen of fortune who have a relish for intellectual pleasures, free from the acerbities of politics, or the
dull formalities which so many of the pious think essential to their religious pretensions. The wealthy furnish
the entertainments, which are always in a superior style, and the ingredient of birth is not requisite in the
qualifications of a member, although some jealousy is entertained of professional men, and not a little of
merchants. T, to whom I am also indebted for this view of that circle of which he is the brightest ornament,
gives a felicitous explanation of the reason. He says, professional men, who are worth anything at all, are
always ambitious, and endeavour to make their acquaintance subservient to their own advancement; while
merchants are liable to such casualties, that their friends are constantly exposed to the risk of being obliged to
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sink them below their wonted equality, by granting them favours in times of difficulty, or, what is worse, by
refusing to grant them.
I am much indebted to you for the introduction to your friend G. He is one of us; or rather, he moves in an
eccentric sphere of his own, which crosses, I believe, almost all the orbits of all the classed and classifiable
systems of London. I found him exactly what you described; and we were on the frankest footing of old
friends in the course of the first quarter of an hour. He did me the honour to fancy that I belonged, as a matter
of course, to some one of the literary fraternities of Edinburgh, and that I would be curious to see the
associations of the learned here. What he said respecting them was highly characteristic of the man. "They
are," said he, "the dullest things possible. On my return from abroad, I visited them all, expecting to find
something of that easy disengaged mind which constitutes the charm of those of France and Italy. But in
London, among those who have a character to keep up, there is such a vigilant circumspection, that I should
as soon expect to find nature in the ballets of the Operahouse, as genius at the established haunts of authors,
artists, and men of science. Bankes gives, I suppose officially, a public breakfast weekly, and opens his house
for conversations on the Sundays. I found at his breakfasts, tea and coffee, with hot rolls, and men of
celebrity afraid to speak. At the conversations, there was something even worse. A few plausible talking
fellows created a buzz in the room, and the merits of some paltry nicknack of mechanism or science was
discussed. The party consisted undoubtedly of the most eminent men of their respective lines in the world;
but they were each and all so apprehensive of having their ideas purloined, that they took the most guarded
care never to speak of anything that they deemed of the slightest consequence, or to hazard an opinion that
might be called in question. The man who either wishes to augment his knowledge, or to pass his time
agreeably, will never expose himself to a repetition of the fastidious exhibitions of engineers and artists who
have their talents at market. But such things are among the curiosities of London; and if you have any
inclination to undergo the initiating mortification of being treated as a young man who may be likely to
interfere with their professional interests, I can easily get you introduced."
I do not know whether to ascribe these strictures of your friend to humour or misanthropy; but they were said
without bitterness; indeed so much as matters of course, that, at the moment, I could not but feel persuaded
they were just. I spoke of them to T, who says, that undoubtedly G's account of the exhibitions is true in
substance, but that it is his own sharpsightedness which causes him to see them so offensively; for that
ninetynine out of the hundred in the world would deem an evening spent at the conversations of Sir Joseph
Bankes a very high intellectual treat.
G has invited me to dinner, and I expect some amusement; for T, who is acquainted with him, says, that it
is his fault to employ his mind too much on all occasions; and that, in all probability, there will be something,
either in the fare or the company, that I shall remember as long as I live. However, you shall hear all about it
in my next.Yours,
ANDREW PRINGLE.
On the same Sunday on which Mr. Micklewham consulted Mr. Snodgrass as to the propriety of reading the
Doctor's letter to the elders, the following epistle reached the postoffice of Irvine, and was delivered by
Saunders Dickie himself, at the door of Mrs. Glibbans to her servan lassie, who, as her mistress had gone to
the Relief Church, told him, that he would have to come for the postage the morn's morning. "Oh," said
Saunders, "there's naething to pay but my ain trouble, for it's frankit; but aiblins the mistress will gie me a bit
drappie, and so I'll come betimes i' the morning."
LETTER XVIII
Mrs. Pringle to Mrs. GlibbansLONDON.
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My Dear Mrs. GlibbansThe breking up of the old Parlament has been the cause why I did not right you
before, it having taken it out of my poor to get a frank for my letter till yesterday; and I do ashure you, that I
was most extraordinar uneasy at the great delay, wishing much to let you know the decayt state of the Gospel
in thir perts, which is the pleasure of your life to study by day, and meditate on in the watches of the night.
There is no want of going to church, and, if that was a sign of grease and peese in the kingdom of Christ, the
toun of London might hold a high head in the tabernacles of the faithful and true witnesses. But saving Dr.
Nichol of SwalloStreet, and Dr. Manuel of LondonWall, there is nothing sound in the way of preaching
here; and when I tell you that Mr. John Gant, your friend, and some other flealugged fallows, have set up a
Heelon congregation, and got a young man to preach Erse to the English, ye maun think in what a state sinful
souls are left in London. But what I have been the most consarned about is the state of the dead. I am no
meaning those who are dead in trespasses and sins, but the true dead. Ye will hardly think, that they are
buried in a popishlike manner, with prayers, and white gowns, and ministers, and spadefuls of yerd cast
upon them, and laid in vauts, like kists of orangers in a grocery sellerand I am told that, after a time, they
are taken out when the vaut is shurfeeted, and their bones brunt, if they are no made into lampblack by a
secret warkwhich is a clean proof to me that a right doctrine cannot be established in this landthere
being so little respec shone to the dead.
The worst point, howsomever, of all is, what is done with the prayersand I have heard you say, that
although there was nothing more to objec to the wonderful Doctor Chammers of Glasgou, that his reading of
his sermons was testimony against him in the great controversy of sound doctrine; but what will you say to
reading of prayers, and no only reading of prayers, but printed prayers, as if the contreet heart of the sinner
had no more to say to the Lord in the hour of fasting and humiliation, than what a bishop can indite, and a
bookseller make profit o'. "Verily," as I may say, in a word of scripter, I doobt if the glad tidings of
salvation have yet been preeched in this land of London; but the ministers have good stipends, and where the
ground is well manured, it may in time bring forth fruit meet for repentance.
There is another thing that behoves me to mention, and that is, that an elder is not to be seen in the churches
of London, which is a sore signal that the piple are left to themselves; and in what state the morality can be,
you may guess with an eye of pity. But on the Sabbath nights, there is such a going and coming, that it's more
like a cried fair than the Lord's nightall sorts of poor people, instead of meditating on their bygane toil and
misery of the week, making the Sunday their own day, as if they had not a greater Master to serve on that
day, than the earthly man whom they served in the weekdays. It is, howsomever, past the poor of nature to
tell you of the sinfulness of London; and you may we think what is to be the end of all things, when I ashure
you, that there is a newspaper sold every Sabbath morning, and read by those that never look at their Bibles.
Our landlady asked us if we would take one; but I thought the Doctor would have fired the house, and you
know it is not a small thing that kindles his passion. In short, London is not a place to come to hear the
tidings of salvation preeched,no that I mean to deny that there is not herine more than five righteous
persons in it, and I trust the cornal's hagent is one; for if he is not, we are undone, having been obligated to
take on already more than a hundred pounds of debt, to the account of our living, and the legacy yet in the
dead thraws. But as I mean this for a spiritual letter, I will say no more about the root of all evil, as it is called
in the words of truth and holiness; so referring you to what I have told Miss Mally Glencairn about the legacy
and other things nearest my heart, I remain, my dear Mrs. Glibbans, your fellou Christian and sinner, JANET
PRINGLE.
Mrs. Glibbans received this letter between the preachings, and it was observed by all her acquaintance during
the afternoon service, that she was a laden woman. Instead of standing up at the prayers, as her wont was, she
kept her seat, sitting with downcast eyes, and ever and anon her left hand, which was laid over her book on
the readingboard of the pew, was raised and allowed to drop with a particular moral emphasis, bespeaking
the mournful cogitations of her spirit. On leaving the church, somebody whispered to the minister, that surely
Mrs. Glibbans had heard some sore news; upon which that meek, mild, and modest good soul hastened
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towards her, and inquired, with more than his usual kindness, How she was? Her answer was brief and
mysterious; and she shook her head in such a manner that showed him all was not right. "Have you heard
lately of your friends the Pringles?" said he, in his sedate manner"when do they think of leaving London?'
"I wish they may ever get out o't," was the agitated reply of the afflicted lady.
"I am very sorry to hear you say so," responded the minister. "I thought all was in a fair way to an issue of the
settlement. I'm very sorry to hear this."
"Oh, sir," said the mourner, "don't think that I am grieved for them and their legacyfilthy lucreno, sir;
but I have had a letter that has made my hair stand on end. Be none surprised if you hear of the earth opening,
and London swallowed up, and a voice crying in the wilderness, 'Woe, woe.'"
The gentle priest was much surprised by this information; it was evident that Mrs. Glibbans had received a
terrible account of the wickedness of London; and that the weight upon her pious spirit was owing to that
cause. He, therefore, accompanied her home, and administered all the consolation he was able to give;
assuring her, that it was in the power of Omnipotence to convert the stony heart into one of flesh and
tenderness, and to raise the British metropolis out of the miry clay, and place it on a hill, as a city that could
not be hid; which Mrs. Glibbans was so thankful to hear, that, as soon as he had left her, she took her tea in a
satisfactory frame of mind, and went the same night to Miss Mally Glencairn to hear what Mrs. Pringle had
said to her. No visit ever happened more opportunely; for just as Mrs. Glibbans knocked at the door, Miss
Isabella Tod made her appearance. She had also received a letter from Rachel, in which it will be seen that
reference was made likewise to Mrs. Pringle's epistle to Miss Mally.
LETTER XIX
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella TodLONDON.
My Dear BellHow delusive are the flatteries of fortune! The wealth that has been showered upon us,
beyond all our hopes, has brought no pleasure to my heart, and I pour my unavailing sighs for your absence,
when I would communicate the cause of my unhappiness. Captain Sabre has been most assiduous in his
attentions, and I must confess to your sympathising bosom, that I do begin to find that he has an interest in
mine. But my mother will not listen to his proposals, nor allow me to give him any encouragement, till the
fatal legacy is settled. What can be her motive for this, I am unable to divine; for the captain's fortune is far
beyond what I could ever have expected without the legacy, and equal to all I could hope for with it. If,
therefore, there is any doubt of the legacy being paid, she should allow me to accept him; and if there is none,
what can I do better? In the meantime, we are going about seeing the sights; but the general mourning is a
great drawback on the splendour of gaiety. It ends, however, next Sunday; and then the ladies, like the spring
flowers, will be all in full blossom. I was with the Argents at the opera on Saturday last, and it far surpassed
my ideas of grandeur. But the singing was not goodI never could make out the end or the beginning of a
song, and it was drowned with the violins; the scenery, however, was lovely; but I must not say a word about
the dancers, only that the females behaved in a manner so shocking, that I could scarcely believe it was
possible for the delicacy of our sex to do. They are, however, all foreigners, who are, you know, naturally of
a licentious character, especially the French women.
We have taken an elegant house in Baker Street, where we go on Monday next, and our own new carriage is
to be home in the course of the week. All this, which has been done by the advice of Mrs. Argent, gives my
mother great uneasiness, in case anything should yet happen to the legacy. My brother, however, who knows
the law better than her, only laughs at her fears, and my father has found such a wonderful deal to do in
religion here, that he is quite delighted, and is busy from morning to night in writing letters, and giving
charitable donations. I am soon to be no less busy, but in another manner. Mrs. Argent has advised us to get
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in accomplished masters for me, so that, as soon as we are removed into our own local habitation, I am to
begin with drawing and music, and the foreign languages. I am not, however, to learn much of the piano;
Mrs. A. thinks it would take up more time than I can now afford; but I am to be cultivated in my singing, and
she is to try if the master that taught Miss Stephens has an hour to spareand to use her influence to
persuade him to give it to me, although he only receives pupils for perfectioning, except they belong to
families of distinction.
My brother had a hankering to be made a member of Parliament, and got Mr. Charles Argent to speak to my
father about it, but neither he nor my mother would hear of such a thing, which I was very sorry for, as it
would have been so convenient to me for getting franks; and I wonder my mother did not think of that, as she
grudges nothing so much as the price of postage. But nothing do I grudge so little, especially when it is a
letter from you. Why do you not write me oftener, and tell me what is saying about us, particularly by that
spiteful toad, Becky Glibbans, who never could hear of any good happening to her acquaintance, without
being as angry as if it was obtained at her own expense?
I do not like Miss Argent so well on acquaintance as I did at first; not that she is not a very fine lassie, but she
gives herself such airs at the harp and pianobecause she can play every sort of music at the first sight, and
sing, by looking at the notes, any song, although she never heard it, which may be very well in a playactor,
or a governess, that has to win her bread by music; but I think the education of a modest young lady might
have been better conducted.
Through the civility of the Argents, we have been introduced to a great number of families, and been much
invited; but all the parties are so ceremonious, that I am never at my ease, which my brother says is owing to
my rustic education, which I cannot understand; for, although the people are finer dressed, and the dinners
and rooms grander than what I have seen, either at Irvine or Kilmarnock, the company are no wiser; and I
have not met with a single literary character among them. And what are ladies and gentlemen without mind,
but a welldressed mob! It is to mind alone that I am at all disposed to pay the homage of diffidence.
The acquaintance of the Argents are all of the first circle, and we have got an invitation to a route from the
Countess of Jy, in consequence of meeting her with them. She is a charming woman, and I anticipate great
pleasure. Miss Argent says, however, she is ignorant and presuming; but how is it possible that she can be so,
as she was an earl's daughter, and bred up for distinction? Miss Argent may be presuming, but a countess is
necessarily above that, at least it would only become a duchess or marchioness to say so. This, however, is
not the only occasion in which I have seen the detractive disposition of that young lady, who, with all her
simplicity of manners and great accomplishments, is, you will perceive, just like ourselves, rustic as she
doubtless thinks our breeding has been.
I have observed that nobody in London inquires about who another is; and that in company everyone is
treated on an equality, unless when there is some remarkable personal peculiarity, so that one really knows
nothing of those whom one meets. But my paper is full, and I must not take another sheet, as my mother has a
letter to send in the same frank to Miss Mally Glencairn. Believe me, ever affectionately yours, RACHEL
PRINGLE.
The three ladies knew not very well what to make of this letter. They thought there was a change in Rachel's
ideas, and that it was not for the better; and Miss Isabella expressed, with a sentiment of sincere sorrow, that
the acquisition of fortune seemed to have brought out some unamiable traits in her character, which, perhaps,
had she not been exposed to the companions and temptations of the great world, would have slumbered,
unfelt by herself, and unknown to her friends.
Mrs. Glibbans declared, that it was a waking of original sin, which the iniquity of London was bringing forth,
as the heat of summer causes the rosin and sap to issue from the bark of the tree. In the meantime, Miss Mally
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had opened her letter, of which we subjoin a copy.
LETTER XX
Mrs Pringle to Miss Mally GlencairnLONDON.
Dear Miss MallyI greatly stand in need of your advise and counsel at this time. The Doctor's affair comes
on at a fearful slow rate, and the money goes like snow off a dyke. It is not to be told what has been paid for
legacyduty, and no legacy yet in hand; and we have been obligated to lift a whole hundred pounds out of the
residue, and what that is to be the Lord only knows. But Miss Jenny Macbride, she has got her thousand
pound, all in one bank bill, sent to her; Thomas Bowie, the doctor in Ayr, he has got his five hundred pounds;
and auld Nanse Sorrel, that was nurse to the cornal, she has got the first year of her twenty pounds a year; but
we have gotten nothing, and I jealouse, that if things go on at this rate, there will be nothing to get; and what
will become of us then, after all the trubble and outlay that we have been pot too by this coming to London?
Howsomever, this is the black side of the story; for Mr. Charles Argent, in a jocose way, proposed to get
Andrew made a Parliament member for three thousand pounds, which he said was cheap; and surely he
would not have thought of such a thing, had he not known that Andrew would have the money to pay for't;
and, over and above this, Mrs. Argent has been recommending Captain Sabre to me for Rachel, and she says
he is a stated gentleman, with two thousand pounds rental, and her nephew; and surely she would not think
Rachel a match for him, unless she had an inkling from her gudeman of what Rachel's to get. But I have told
her that we would think of nothing of the sort till the counts war settled, which she may tell to her gudeman,
and if he approves the match, it will make him hasten on the settlement, for really I am growing tired of this
London, whar I am just like a fish out of the water. The Englishers are sae obstinate in their own way, that I
can get them to do nothing like Christians; and, what is most provoking of all, their ways are very good when
you know them; but they have no instink to teach a body how to learn them. Just this very morning, I told the
lass to get a jiggot of mutton for the morn's dinner, and she said there was not such a thing to be had in
London, and threeppit it till I couldna stand her; and, had it not been that Mr. Argent's French servan' man
happened to come with a cart, inviting us to a ball, and who understood what a jiggot was, I might have
reasoned till the day of doom without redress. As for the Doctor, I declare he's like an enchantit person, for he
has falling in with a party of the elect here, as he says, and they have a kilfud yoking every Thursday at the
house of Mr. W, where the Doctor has been, and was asked to pray, and did it with great effec, which has
made him so up in the buckle, that he does nothing but go to Bible soceeyetis, and mishonary meetings, and
cherity sarmons, which cost a poor of money.
But what consarns me more than all is, that the temptations of this vanity fair have turnt the head of Andrew,
and he has bought two horses, with an English manservan', which you know is an eating moth. But how he
payt for them, and whar he is to keep them, is past the compass of my understanding. In short, if the legacy
does not cast up soon, I see nothing left for us but to leave the world as a legacy to you all, for my heart will
be brokenand I often wish that the cornel hadna made us his residees, but only given us a clean scorn, like
Miss Jenny Macbride, although it had been no more; for, my dear Miss Mally, it does not doo for a woman of
my time of life to be taken out of her element, and, instead of looking after her family with a thrifty eye, to be
sitting dressed all day seeing the money fleeing like sclate stanes. But what I have to tell is worse than all
this; we have been persuaded to take a furnisht house, where we go on Monday; and we are to pay for it, for
three months, no less than a hundred and fifty pounds, which is more than the half of the Doctor's whole
stipend is, when the meal is twenty pence the peck; and we are to have three servan' lassies, besides
Andrew's man, and the coachman that we have hired altogether for ourselves, having been persuaded to trist a
new carriage of our own by the Argents, which I trust the Argents will find money to pay for; and masters are
to come in to teach Rachel the fasionable accomplishments, Mrs. Argent thinking she was rather old now to
be sent to a boardingschool. But what I am to get to do for so many vorashous servants, is dreadful to think,
there being no such thing as a wheel within the four walls of London; and, if there was, the Englishers no
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nothing about spinning. In short, Miss Mally, I am driven dimentit, and I wish I could get the Doctor to come
home with me to our manse, and leave all to Andrew and Rachel, with kurators; but, as I said, he's as mickle
bye himself as onybody, and says that his candle has been hidden under a bushel at Garnock more than thirty
years, which looks as if the poor man was fey; howsomever, he's happy in his delooshon, for if he was
afflictit with that forethought and wisdom that I have, I know not what would be the upshot of all this
calamity. But we maun hope for the best; and, happen what will, I am, dear Miss Mally, your sincere friend,
JANET PRINGLE.
Miss Mally sighed as she concluded, and said, "Riches do not always bring happiness, and poor Mrs. Pringle
would have been far better looking after her cows and her butter, and keeping her lassies at their wark, than
with all this galravitching and grandeur." "Ah!" added Mrs. Glibbans, "she's now a testifyer to the
truthshe's now a testifyer; happy it will be for her if she's enabled to make a sanctified use of the
dispensation."
CHAPTER VIIDISCOVERIES AND REBELLIONS
One evening as Mr. Snodgrass was taking a solitary walk towards Irvine, for the purpose of calling on Miss
Mally Glencairn, to inquire what had been her latest accounts from their mutual friends in London, and to
read to her a letter, which he had received two days before, from Mr. Andrew Pringle, he met, near Eglintoun
Gates, that pious woman, Mrs. Glibbans, coming to Garnock, brimful of some most extraordinary
intelligence. The air was raw and humid, and the ways were deep and foul; she was, however, protected
without, and tempered within, against the dangers of both. Over her venerable satin mantle, lined with
catskin, she wore a scarlet duffle Bath cloak, with which she was wont to attend the tent sermons of the
Kilwinning and Dreghorn preachings in cold and inclement weather. Her black silk petticoat was pinned up,
that it might not receive injury from the nimble paddling of her short steps in the mire; and she carried her
best shoes and stockings in a handkerchief to be changed at the manse, and had fortified her feet for the road
in coarse worsted hose, and thick plainsoled leather shoes.
Mr. Snodgrass proposed to turn back with her, but she would not permit him. "No, sir," said she, "what I am
about you cannot meddle in. You are here but a strangercome today, and gane tomorrow; and it does
not pertain to you to sift into the doings that have been done before your time. Oh dear; but this is a sad
thing nothing like it since the silencing of M'Auly of Greenock. What will the worthy Doctor say when he
hears tell o't? Had it fa'n out with that neighering body, James Daff, I wouldna hae car't a snuff of tobacco,
but wi' Mr. Craig, a man so gifted wi' the power of the Spirit, as I hae often had a delightful experience! Ay,
ay, Mr. Snodgrass, take heed lest ye fall; we maun all lay it to heart; but I hope the trooper is still within the
jurisdiction of church censures. She shouldna be spairt. Nae doubt, the fault lies with her, and it is that I am
going to search; yea, as with a lighted candle."
Mr. Snodgrass expressed his inability to understand to what Mrs. Glibbans alluded, and a very long and
interesting disclosure took place, the substance of which may be gathered from the following letter; the
immediate and instigating cause of the lady's journey to Garnock being the alarming intelligence which she
had that day received of Mr. Craig's servantdamsel Betty having, by the style and title of Mrs. Craig, sent
for Nanse Swaddle, the midwife, to come to her in her own case, which seemed to Mrs. Glibbans nothing
short of a miracle, Betty having, the very Sunday before, helped the kettle when she drank tea with Mr. Craig,
and sat at the room door, on a buffetstool brought from the kitchen, while he performed family worship, to
the great solace and edification of his visitor.
LETTER XXI
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk, Garnock
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Dear SirI have received your letter of the 24th, which has given me a great surprise to hear, that Mr. Craig
was married as far back as Christmas, to his own servant lass Betty, and me to know nothing of it, nor you
neither, until it was time to be speaking to the midwife. To be sure, Mr. Craig, who is an elder, and a very
rigid man, in his animadversions on the immoralities that come before the session, must have had his own
good reasons for keeping his marriage so long a secret. Tell him, however, from me, that I wish both him and
Mrs. Craig much joy and felicity; but he should be milder for the future on the thoughtlessness of youth and
headstrong passions. Not that I insinuate that there has been any occasion in the conduct of such a godly man
to cause a suspicion; but it's wonderful how he was married in December, and I cannot say that I am
altogether so proud to hear it as I am at all times of the welldoing of my people. Really the way that Mr.
Daff has comported himself in this matter is greatly to his credit; and I doubt if the thing had happened with
him, that Mr. Craig would have sifted with a sharp eye how he came to be married in December, and without
bridal and banquet. For my part, I could not have thought it of Mr. Craig, but it's done now, and the less we
say about it the better; so I think with Mr. Daff, that it must be looked over; but when I return, I will speak
both to the husband and wife, and not without letting them have an inkling of what I think about their being
married in December, which was a great shame, even if there was no sin in it. But I will say no more; for
truly, Mr. Micklewham, the longer we live in this world, and the farther we go, and the better we know
ourselves, the less reason have we to think slightingly of our neighbours; but the more to convince our hearts
and understandings, that we are all prone to evil, and desperately wicked. For where does hypocrisy not
abound? and I have had my own experience here, that what a man is to the world, and to his own heart, is a
very different thing.
In my last letter, I gave you a pleasing notification of the growth, as I thought, of spirituality in this Babylon
of deceitfulness, thinking that you and my people would be gladdened with the tidings of the repute and
estimation in which your minister was held, and I have dealt largely in the way of public charity. But I doubt
that I have been governed by a spirit of ostentation, and not with that lowlymindedness, without which all
almsgiving is but a serving of the altars of Belzebub; for the chastening hand has been laid upon me, but with
the kindness and pity which a tender father hath for his dear children.
I was requested by those who come so cordially to me with their subscription papers, for schools and
suffering worth, to preach a sermon to get a collection. I have no occasion to tell you, that when I exert
myself, what effect I can produce; and I never made so great an exertion before, which in itself was a proof
that it was with the two bladders, pomp and vanity, that I had committed myself to swim on the uncertain
waters of London; for surely my best exertions were due to my people. But when the Sabbath came upon
which I was to hold forth, how were my hopes withered, and my expectations frustrated. Oh, Mr.
Micklewham, what an inattentive congregation was yonder! many slumbered and slept, and I sowed the
words of truth and holiness in vain upon their barren and stoney hearts. There is no true grace among some
that I shall not name, for I saw them whispering and smiling like the scorners, and altogether heedless unto
the precious things of my discourse, which could not have been the case had they been sincere in their
professions, for I never preached more to my own satisfaction on any occasion whatsoeverand, when I
return to my own parish, you shall hear what I said, as I will preach the same sermon over again, for I am not
going now to print it, as I did once think of doing, and to have dedicated it to Mr. W.
We are going about in an easy way, seeing what is to be seen in the shape of curiosities; but the whole town
is in a state of ferment with the election of members to Parliament. I have been to see't, both in the Guildhall
and at Covent Garden, and it's a frightful thing to see how the Radicals roar like bulls of Bashan, and put
down the speakers in behalf of the government. I hope no harm will come of yon, but I must say, that I prefer
our own quiet canny Scotch way at Irvine. Well do I remember, for it happened in the year I was licensed,
that the town council, the Lord Eglinton that was shot being then provost, took in the late Thomas Bowet to
be a counsellor; and Thomas, not being versed in election matters, yet minding to please his lordship (for,
like the rest of the council, he had always a proper veneration for those in power), he, as I was saying,
consulted Joseph Boyd the weaver, who was then Dean of Guild, as to the way of voting; whereupon Joseph,
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who was a discreet man, said to him, "Ye'll just say as I say, and I'll say what Bailie Shaw says, for he will do
what my lord bids him"; which was as peaceful a way of sending up a member to Parliament as could well be
devised.
But you know that politics are far from my handthey belong to the temporalities of the community; and the
ministers of peace and goodwill to man should neither make nor meddle with them. I wish, however, that
these tumultuous elections were well over, for they have had an effect on the per cents, where our bit legacy
is funded; and it would terrify you to hear what we have thereby already lost. We have not, however, lost so
much but that I can spare a little to the poor among my people; so you will, in the dry weather, after the
seedtime, hire twothree thackers to mend the thack on the roofs of such of the cottars' houses as stand in
need of mending, and banker My will pay the expense; and I beg you to go to him on receipt hereof, for he
has a line for yourself, which you will be sure to accept as a testimony from me for the great trouble that my
absence from the parish has given to you among my people, and I am, dear sir, your friend and pastor, Z.
PRINGLE.
As Mrs. Glibbans would not permit Mr. Snodgrass to return with her to the manse, he pursued his journey
alone to the Kirkgate of Irvine, where he found Miss Mally Glencairn on the eve of sitting down to her
solitary tea. On seeing her visitor enter, after the first compliments on the state of health and weather were
over, she expressed her hopes that he had not drank tea; and, on receiving a negative, which she did not quite
expect, as she thought he had been perhaps invited by some of her neighbours, she put in an additional
spoonful on his account; and brought from her corner cupboard with the glass door, an ancient French
picklebottle, in which she had preserved, since the great teadrinking formerly mentioned, the remainder of
the two ounces of carvey, the best, Mrs. Nanse bought for that memorable occasion. A short conversation
then took place relative to the Pringles; and, while the tea was masking, for Miss Mally said it took a long
time to draw, she read to him the following letter:
LETTER XXII
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn
My Dear Miss MallyTrully, it may be said, that the croun of England is upon the downfal, and surely we
are all seething in the pot of revolution, for the scum is mounting uppermost. Last week, no farther gone than
on Mononday, we came to our new house heer in Baker Street, but it's nather to be bakit nor brewt what I hav
sin syne suffert. You no my way, and that I like a been house, but no wastrie, and so I needna tell yoo, that
we hav had good diners; to be sure, there was not a meerakle left to fill five baskets every day, but an
abundance, with a proper kitchen of breed, to fill the bellies of four dumasticks. Howsomever, lo and behold,
what was clecking downstairs. On Saturday morning, as we were sitting at our breakfast, the Doctor reading
the newspapers, who shoud corn intil the room but Andrew's grum, follo't by the rest, to give us warning that
they were all going to quat our sairvice, becas they were starvit. I thocht that I would hav fentit cauld deed,
but the Doctor, who is a consiederat man, inquairt what made them starve, and then there was such an
opprobrious cry about cold meet and bare bones, and no beer. It was an evendoun resurectiona rebellion
waur than the fortyfive. In short, Miss Mally, to make a leettle of a lang tail, they would have a hot joint day
and day about, and a tree of yill to stand on the gauntress for their draw and drink, with a cock and a pail; and
we were obligated to evacuate to their terms, and to let them go to their wark with flying colors; so you see
how dangerous it is to live among this piple, and their noshans of liberty.
You will see by the newspapers that ther's a lection going on for parliament. It maks my corruption to rise to
hear of such doings, and if I was a government as I'm but a woman, I woud put them doon with the strong
hand, just to be revenged on the proud stomaks of these het and fou English.
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We have gotten our money in the pesents put into our name; but I have had no peese since, for they have
fallen in price three eight parts, which is very near a half, and if they go at this rate, where will all our legacy
soon be? I have no goo of the pesents; so we are on the lookout for a landed estate, being a shure thing.
Captain Saber is still sneking after Rachel, and if she were awee perfited in her accomplugments, it's no
saying what might happen, for he's a fine lad, but she's o'er young to be the heed of a family. Howsomever,
the Lord's will maun be done, and if there is to be a match, she'll no have to fight for gentility with a straitent
circumstance.
As for Andrew, I wish he was weel settlt, and we have our hopes that he's beginning to draw up with Miss
Argent, who will have, no doobt, a great fortune, and is a treasure of a creeture in herself, being just as simple
as a lamb; but, to be sure, she has had every advantage of edication, being brought up in a most fashonible
boardingschool.
I hope you have got the box I sent by the smak, and that you like the patron of the goon. So no more at
present, but remains, dear Miss Mally, your sinsaire friend,
JANET PRINGLE.
"The box," said Miss Mally, "that Mrs. Pringle speaks about came last night. It contains a very handsome
present to me and to Miss Bell Tod. The gift to me is from Mrs. P. herself, and Miss Bell's from Rachel; but
that ettercap, Becky Glibbans, is flying through the town like a spunky, mislikening the one and misca'ing the
other: everybody, however, kens that it's only spite that gars her speak. It's a great pity that she cou'dna be
brought to a sense of religion like her mother, who, in her younger days, they say, wasna to seek at a
clashing."
Mr. Snodgrass expressed his surprise at this account of the faults of that exemplary lady's youth; but he
thought of her holy anxiety to sift into the circumstances of Betty, the elder's servant, becoming in one day
Mrs. Craig, and the same afternoon sending for the midwife, and he prudently made no other comment; for
the characters of all preachers were in her hands, and he had the good fortune to stand high in her favour, as a
young man of great promise. In order, therefore, to avoid any discussion respecting moral merits, he read the
following letter from Andrew Pringle:
LETTER XXIII
Andrew Pringle, Esq., to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass
My Dear FriendLondon undoubtedly affords the best and the worst specimens of the British character; but
there is a certain townish something about the inhabitants in general, of which I find it extremely difficult to
convey any idea. Compared with the English of the country, there is apparently very little difference between
them; but still there is a difference, and of no small importance in a moral point of view. The country
peculiarity is like the bloom of the plumb, or the down of the peach, which the fingers of infancy cannot
touch without injuring; but this felt but not describable quality of the town character, is as the varnish which
brings out more vividly the colours of a picture, and which may be freely and even rudely handled. The
women, for example, although as chaste in principle as those of any other community, possess none of that
innocent untempted simplicity, which is more than half the grace of virtue; many of them, and even young
ones too, "in the first freshness of their virgin beauty," speak of the conduct and vocation of "the erring sisters
of the sex," in a manner that often amazes me, and has, in more than one instance, excited unpleasant feelings
towards the fair satirists. This moral taint, for I can consider it as nothing less, I have heard defended, but
only by men who are supposed to have had a large experience of the world, and who, perhaps, on that
account, are not the best judges of female delicacy. "Every woman," as Pope says, "may be at heart a rake";
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but it is for the interests of the domestic affections, which are the very elements of virtue, to cherish the
notion, that women, as they are physically more delicate than men, are also so morally.
But the absence of delicacy, the bloom of virtue, is not peculiar to the females, it is characteristic of all the
varieties of the metropolitan mind. The artifices of the medical quacks are things of universal ridicule; but the
sin, though in a less gross form, pervades the whole of that sinister system by which much of the superiority
of this vast metropolis is supported. The state of the periodical press, that great organ of political
instructionthe unruly tongue of liberty, strikingly confirms the justice of this misanthropic remark.
G had the kindness, by way of a treat to me, to collect, the other day, at dinner, some of the most eminent
editors of the London journals. I found them men of talent, certainly, and much more men of the world, than
"the cloistered student from his paling lamp"; but I was astonished to find it considered, tacitly, as a sort of
maxim among them, that an intermediate party was not bound by any obligation of honour to withhold,
farther than his own discretion suggested, any information of which he was the accidental depositary,
whatever the consequences might be to his informant, or to those affected by the communication. In a word,
they seemed all to care less about what might be true than what would produce effect, and that effect for their
own particular advantage. It is impossible to deny, that if interest is made the criterion by which the
confidences of social intercourse are to be respected, the persons who admit this doctrine will have but little
respect for the use of names, or deem it any reprehensible delinquency to suppress truth, or to blazon
falsehood. In a word, man in London is not quite so good a creature as he is out of it. The rivalry of interests
is here too intense; it impairs the affections, and occasions speculations both in morals and politics, which, I
much suspect, it would puzzle a casuist to prove blameless. Can anything, for example, be more offensive to
the calm spectator, than the elections which are now going on? Is it possible that this country, so much
smaller in geographical extent than France, and so inferior in natural resources, restricted too by those ties
and obligations which were thrown off as fetters by that country during the late war, could have attained, in
despite of her, such a lofty preeminencebecome the foremost of all the worldhad it not been governed
in a manner congenial to the spirit of the people, and with great practical wisdom? It is absurd to assert, that
there are no corruptions in the various modifications by which the affairs of the British empire are
administered; but it would be difficult to show, that, in the present state of morals and interests among
mankind, corruption is not a necessary evil. I do not mean necessary, as evolved from those morals and
interests, but necessary to the management of political trusts. I am afraid, however, to insist on this, as the
natural integrity of your own heart, and the dignity of your vocation, will alike induce you to condemn it as
Machiavellian. It is, however, an observation forced on me by what I have seen here.
It would be invidious, perhaps, to criticise the different candidates for the representation of London and
Westminster very severely. I think it must be granted, that they are as sincere in their professions as their
opponents, which at least bleaches away much of that turpitude of which their political conduct is accused by
those who are of a different way of thinking. But it is quite evident, at least to me, that no government could
exist a week, managed with that subjection to public opinion to which Sir Francis Burdett and Mr. Hobhouse
apparently submit; and it is no less certain, that no government ought to exist a single day that would act in
complete defiance of public opinion.
I was surprised to find Sir Francis Burdett an uncommonly mild and gentlemanlylooking man. I had
pictured somehow to my imagination a dark and morose character; but, on the contrary, in his appearance,
deportment, and manner of speaking, he is eminently qualified to attract popular applause. His style of
speaking is not particularly oratorical, but he has the art of saying bitter things in a sweet way. In his
language, however, although pungent, and sometimes even eloquent, he is singularly incorrect. He cannot
utter a sequence of three sentences without violating common grammar in the most atrocious way; and his
tropes and figures are so distorted, hashed, and brokensuch a patchwork of different patterns, that you are
bewildered if you attempt to make them out; but the earnestness of his manner, and a certain fitness of
character, in his observations a kind of Shaksperian pithiness, redeem all this. Besides, his manifold blunders
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of syntax do not offend the taste of those audiences where he is heard with the most approbation.
Hobhouse speaks more correctly, but he lacks in the conciliatory advantages of personal appearance; and his
physiognomy, though indicating considerable strength of mind, is not so prepossessing. He is evidently a man
of more education than his friend, that is, of more reading, perhaps also of more various observation, but he
has less genius. His tact is coarser, and though he speaks with more vehemence, he seldomer touches the
sensibilities of his auditors. He may have observed mankind in general more extensively than Sir Francis, but
he is far less acquainted with the feelings and associations of the English mind. There is also a wariness about
him, which I do not like so well as the imprudent ingenuousness of the baronet. He seems to me to have a
cause in handHobhouse versus Existing Circumstancesand that he considers the multitude as the jurors,
on whose decision his advancement in life depends. But in this I may be uncharitable. I should, however,
think more highly of his sincerity as a patriot, if his stake in the country were greater; and yet I doubt, if his
stake were greater, if he is that sort of man who would have cultivated popularity in Westminster. He seems
to me to have qualified himself for Parliament as others do for the bar, and that he will probably be
considered in the House for some time merely as a political adventurer. But if he has the talent and prudence
requisite to ensure distinction in the line of his profession, the mediocrity of his original condition will reflect
honour on his success, should he hereafter acquire influence and consideration as a statesman. Of his literary
talents I know you do not think very highly, nor am I inclined to rank the powers of his mind much beyond
those of any common welleducated English gentleman. But it will soon be ascertained whether his
pretensions to represent Westminster be justified by a sense of conscious superiority, or only prompted by
that ambition which overleaps itself.
Of Wood, who was twice Lord Mayor, I know not what to say. There is a queer and wily cast in his pale
countenance, that puzzles me exceedingly. In common parlance I would call him an empty vain creature; but
when I look at that indescribable spirit, which indicates a strange and outoftheway manner of thinking, I
humbly confess that he is no common man. He is evidently a person of no intellectual accomplishments; he
has neither the language nor the deportment of a gentleman, in the usual understanding of the term; and yet
there is something that I would almost call genius about him. It is not cunning, it is not wisdom, it is far from
being prudence, and yet it is something as wary as prudence, as effectual as wisdom, and not less sinister than
cunning. I would call it intuitive skill, a sort of instinct, by which he is enabled to attain his ends in defiance
of a capacity naturally narrow, a judgment that topples with vanity, and an address at once mean and
repulsive. To call him a great man, in any possible approximation of the word, would be ridiculous; that he is
a good one, will be denied by those who envy his success, or hate his politics; but nothing, save the blindness
of fanaticism, can call in question his possession of a rare and singular species of ability, let it be exerted in
what cause it may. But my paper is full, and I have only room to subscribe myself, faithfully, yours, A.
PRINGLE.
"It appears to us," said Mr. Snodgrass, as he folded up the letter to return it to his pocket, "that the Londoners,
with all their advantages of information, are neither purer nor better than their fellowsubjects in the
country." "As to their betterness," replied Miss Mally, "I have a notion that they are far waur; and I hope you
do not think that earthly knowledge of any sort has a tendency to make mankind, or womankind either, any
better; for was not Solomon, who had more of it than any other man, a type and testification, that knowledge
without grace is but vanity?" The young clergyman was somewhat startled at this application of a remark on
which he laid no particular stress, and was thankful in his heart that Mrs. Glibbans was not present. He was
not aware that Miss Mally had an orthodox corn, or bunyan, that could as little bear a touch from the
royneslippers of philosophy, as the inflamed gout of polemical controversy, which had gumfiated every
mental joint and member of that zealous prop of the Relief Kirk. This was indeed the tender point of Miss
Mally's character; for she was left unplucked on the stalk of single blessedness, owing entirely to a
conversation on this very subject with the only lover she ever had, Mr. Dalgliesh, formerly helper in the
neighbouring parish of Dintonknow. He happened incidentally to observe, that education was requisite to
promote the interests of religion. But Miss Mally, on that occasion, jocularly maintained, that education had
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only a tendency to promote the sale of books. This, Mr. Dalgliesh thought, was a sneer at himself, he having
some time before unfortunately published a short tract, entitled, "The moral union of our temporal and eternal
interests considered, with respect to the establishment of parochial seminaries," and which fell stillborn
from the press. He therefore retorted with some acrimony, until, from less to more, Miss Mally ordered him
to keep his distance; upon which he bounced out of the room, and they were never afterwards on speaking
terms. Saving, however, and excepting this particular dogma, Miss Mally was on all other topics as liberal
and beneficent as could be expected from a maiden lady, who was obliged to eke out her stinted income with
a nimble needle and a closeclipping economy. The conversation with Mr. Snodgrass was not, however,
lengthened into acrimony; for immediately after the remark which we have noticed, she proposed that they
should call on Miss Isabella Tod to see Rachel's letter; indeed, this was rendered necessary by the state of the
fire, for after boiling the kettle she had allowed it to fall low. It was her nightly practice after tea to take her
evening seam, in a friendly way, to some of her neighbours' houses, by which she saved both coal and candle,
while she acquired the news of the day, and was occasionally invited to stay supper.
On their arrival at Mrs. Tod's, Miss Isabella understood the purport of their visit, and immediately produced
her letter, receiving, at the same time, a perusal of Mr. Andrew Pringle's. Mrs. Pringle's to Miss Mally she
had previously seen.
LETTER XXIV
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod
My Dear BellSince my last, we have undergone great changes and vicissitudes. Last week we removed to
our present house, which is exceedingly handsome and elegantly furnished; and on Saturday there was an
insurrection of the servants, on account of my mother not allowing them to have their dinners served up at the
usual hour for servants at other genteel houses. We have also had the legacy in the funds transferred to my
father, and only now wait the settling of the final accounts, which will yet take some time. On the day that the
transfer took place, my mother made me a present of a twenty pound note, to lay out in any way I thought fit,
and in so doing, I could not but think of you; I have, therefore, in a box which she is sending to Miss Mally
Glencairn, sent you an evening dress from Mrs. Bean's, one of the most fashionable and tasteful dressmakers
in town, which I hope you will wear with pleasure for my sake. I have got one exactly like it, so that when
you see yourself in the glass, you will behold in what state I appeared at Lady 's route.
Ah! my dear Bell, how much are our expectations disappointed! How often have we, with admiration and
longing wonder, read the descriptions in the newspapers of the fashionable parties in this great metropolis,
and thought of the Grecian lamps, the ottomans, the promenades, the ornamented floors, the cut glass, the
coup d'oeil, and the tout ensemble. "Alas!" as Young the poet says, "the things unseen do not deceive us." I
have seen more beauty at an Irvine ball, than all the fashionable world could bring to market at my Lady 's
emporium for the disposal of young ladies, for indeed I can consider it as nothing else.
I went with the Argents. The hall door was open, and filled with the servants in their state liveries; but
although the door was open, the porter, as each carriage came up, rung a peal upon the knocker, to announce
to all the square the successive arrival of the guests. We were shown upstairs to the drawingrooms. They
were very well, but neither so grand nor so great as I expected. As for the company, it was a suffocating
crowd of fat elderly gentlewomen, and misses that stood in need of all the charms of their fortunes. One thing
I could noticefor the press was so great, little could be seenit was, that the old ladies wore rouge. The
white satin sleeve of my dress was entirely ruined by coming in contact with a little round, dumpling
duchess's cheekas vulgar a body as could well be. She seemed to me to have spent all her days behind a
counter, smirking thankfulness to bawbee customers.
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When we had been shown in the drawingrooms to the men for some time, we then adjourned to the lower
apartments, where the refreshments were set out. This, I suppose, is arranged to afford an opportunity to the
beaux to be civil to the belles, and thereby to scrape acquaintance with those whom they approve, by assisting
them to the delicacies. Altogether, it was a very dull welldressed affair, and yet I ought to have been in good
spirits, for Sir Marmaduke Towler, a great Yorkshire baronet, was most particular in his attentions to me;
indeed so much so, that I saw it made poor Sabre very uneasy. I do not know why it should, for I have given
him no positive encouragement to hope for anything; not that I have the least idea that the baronet's attentions
were more than commonplace politeness, but he has since called. I cannot, however, say that my vanity is at
all flattered by this circumstance. At the same time, there surely could be no harm in Sir Marmaduke making
me an offer, for you know I am not bound to accept it. Besides, my father does not like him, and my mother
thinks he's a fortune hunter; but I cannot conceive how that may be, for, on the contrary, he is said to be
rather extravagant.
Before we return to Scotland, it is intended that we shall visit some of the wateringplaces; and, perhaps, if
Andrew can manage it with my father, we may even take a trip to Paris. The Doctor himself is not averse to
it, but my mother is afraid that a new war may break out, and that we may be detained prisoners. This
fantastical fear we shall, however, try to overcome. But I am interrupted. Sir Marmaduke is in the
drawingroom, and I am summoned.Yours truly,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
When Mr. Snodgrass had read this letter, he paused for a moment, and then said dryly, in handing it to Miss
Isabella, "Miss Pringle is improving in the ways of the world."
The evening by this time was far advanced, and the young clergyman was not desirous to renew the
conversation; he therefore almost immediately took his leave, and walked sedately towards Garnock,
debating with himself as he went along, whether Dr. Pringle's family were likely to be benefited by their
legacy. But he had scarcely passed the minister's carse, when he met with Mrs. Glibbans returning. "Mr.
Snodgrass! Mr. Snodgrass!" cried that ardent matron from her side of the road to the other where he was
walking, and he obeyed her call; "yon's no sic a black story as I thought. Mrs. Craig is to be sure far gane! but
they were married in December; and it was only because she was his servan' lass that the worthy man didna
like to own her at first for his wife. It would have been dreadful had the matter been jealoused at the first. She
gaed to Glasgow to see an auntie that she has there, and he gaed in to fetch her out, and it was then the
marriage was made up, which I was glad to hear; for, oh, Mr. Snodgrass, it would have been an awfu'
judgment had a man like Mr. Craig turn't out no better than a Tam Pain or a Major Weir. But a's for the best;
and Him that has the power of salvation can blot out all our iniquities. So good nightye'll have a lang
walk."
CHAPTER VIIITHE QUEEN'S TRIAL
As the spring advanced, the beauty of the country around Garnock was gradually unfolded; the blossom was
unclosed, while the church was embraced within the foliage of more umbrageous boughs. The schoolboys
from the adjacent villages were, on the Saturday afternoons, frequently seen angling along the banks of the
Lugton, which ran clearer beneath the churchyard wall, and the hedge of the minister's glebe; and the
evenings were so much lengthened, that the occasional visitors at the manse could prolong their walk after
tea. These, however, were less numerous than when the family were at home; but still Mr. Snodgrass, when
the weather was fine, had no reason to deplore the loneliness of his bachelor's court.
It happened that, one fair and sunny afternoon, Miss Mally Glencairn and Miss Isabella Tod came to the
manse. Mrs. Glibbans and her daughter Becky were the same day paying their first ceremonious visit, as the
matron called it, to Mr. and Mrs. Craig, with whom the whole party were invited to take tea; and, for lack of
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more amusing chitchat, the Reverend young gentleman read to them the last letter which he had received
from Mr. Andrew Pringle. It was conjured naturally enough out of his pocket, by an observation of Miss
Mally's "Nothing surprises me," said that amiable maiden lady, "so much as the health and goodhumour of
the commonality. It is a joyous refutation of the opinion, that the comfort and happiness of this life depends
on the wealth of worldly possessions."
"It is so," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "and I do often wonder, when I see the blithe and hearty children of the
cottars, frolicking in the abundance of health and hilarity, where the means come from to enable their poor
industrious parents to supply their wants."
"How can you wonder at ony sic things, Mr. Snodgrass? Do they not come from on high," said Mrs.
Glibbans, "whence cometh every good and perfect gift? Is there not the flowers of the field, which neither
card nor spin, and yet Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these?"
"I was not speaking in a spiritual sense," interrupted the other, "but merely made the remark, as introductory
to a letter which I have received from Mr. Andrew Pringle, respecting some of the ways of living in London."
Mrs. Craig, who had been so recently translated from the kitchen to the parlour, pricked up her ears at this,
not doubting that the letter would contain something very grand and wonderful, and exclaimed, "Gude safe's,
let's hear'tI'm unco fond to ken about London, and the king and the queen; but I believe they are baith dead
noo."
Miss Becky Glibbans gave a satirical keckle at this, and showed her superior learning, by explaining to Mrs.
Craig the unbroken nature of the kingly office. Mr. Snodgrass then read as follows:
LETTER XXV
Andrew Pringle, Esq,, to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass
My Dear FriendYou are not aware of the task you impose, when you request me to send you some account
of the general way of living in London. Unless you come here, and actually experience yourself what I would
call the London ache, it is impossible to supply you with any adequate idea of the necessity that exists in this
wilderness of mankind, to seek refuge in society, without being over fastidious with respect to the intellectual
qualifications of your occasional associates. In a remote desart, the solitary traveller is subject to
apprehensions of danger; but still he is the most important thing "within the circle of that lonely waste"; and
the sense of his own dignity enables him to sustain the shock of considerable hazard with spirit and fortitude.
But, in London, the feeling of self importance is totally lost and suppressed in the bosom of a stranger. A
painful conviction of insignificanceof nothingness, I may sayis sunk upon his heart, and murmured in
his ear by the million, who divide with him that consequence which he unconsciously before supposed he
possessed in a general estimate of the world. While elbowing my way through the unknown multitude that
flows between Charing Cross and the Royal Exchange, this mortifying sense of my own insignificance has
often come upon me with the energy of a pang; and I have thought, that, after all we can say of any man, the
effect of the greatest influence of an individual on society at large, is but as that of a pebble thrown into the
sea. Mathematically speaking, the undulations which the pebble causes, continue until the whole mass of the
ocean has been disturbed to the bottom of its most secret depths and farthest shores; and, perhaps, with equal
truth it may be affirmed, that the sentiments of the man of genius are also infinitely propagated; but how soon
is the physical impression of the one lost to every sensible perception, and the moral impulse of the other
swallowed up from all practical effect.
But though London, in the general, may be justly compared to the vast and restless ocean, or to any other
thing that is either sublime, incomprehensible, or affecting, it loses all its influence over the solemn
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associations of the mind when it is examined in its details. For example, living on the town, as it is slangishly
called, the most friendless and isolated condition possible, is yet fraught with an amazing diversity of
enjoyment. Thousands of gentlemen, who have survived the relish of active fashionable pursuits, pass their
life in that state without tasting the delight of one new sensation. They rise in the morning merely because
Nature will not allow them to remain longer in bed. They begin the day without motive or purpose, and close
it after having performed the same unvaried round as the most thoroughbred domestic animal that ever dwelt
in manse or manorhouse. If you ask them at three o'clock where they are to dine, they cannot tell you; but
about the wonted dinnerhour, batches of these forlorn bachelors find themselves diurnally congregated, as if
by instinct, around a cozy table in some snug coffeehouse, where, after inspecting the contents of the bill of
fare, they discuss the news of the day, reserving the scandal, by way of dessert, for their wine. Day after day
their respective political opinions give rise to keen encounters, but without producing the slightest shade of
change in any of their old ingrained and particular sentiments.
Some of their haunts, I mean those frequented by the elderly race, are shabby enough in their appearance and
circumstances, except perhaps in the quality of the wine. Everything in them is regulated by an ancient and
precise economy, and you perceive, at the first glance, that all is calculated on the principle of the house
giving as much for the money as it can possibly afford, without infringing those little etiquettes which
persons of gentlemanly habits regard as essentials. At half price the junior members of these unorganised or
natural clubs retire to the theatres, while the elder brethren mend their potations till it is time to go home. This
seems a very comfortless way of life, but I have no doubt it is the preferred result of a long experience of the
world, and that the parties, upon the whole, find it superior, according to their early formed habits of
dissipation and gaiety, to the sedate but not more regular course of a domestic circle.
The chief pleasure, however, of living on the town, consists in accidentally falling in with persons whom it
might be otherwise difficult to meet in private life. I have several times enjoyed this. The other day I fell in
with an old gentleman, evidently a man of some consequence, for he came to the coffeehouse in his own
carriage. It happened that we were the only guests, and he proposed that we should therefore dine together. In
the course of conversation it came out, that he had been familiarly acquainted with Garrick, and had
frequented the Literary Club in the days of Johnson and Goldsmith. In his youth, I conceive, he must have
been an amusing companion; for his fancy was exceedingly lively, and his manners altogether afforded a very
favourable specimen of the old, the gentlemanly school. At an appointed hour his carriage came for him, and
we parted, perhaps never to meet again.
Such agreeable incidents, however, are not common, as the frequenters of the coffeehouses are, I think,
usually taciturn characters, and averse to conversation. I may, however, be myself in fault. Our countrymen in
general, whatever may be their address in improving acquaintance to the promotion of their own interests,
have not the best way, in the first instance, of introducing themselves. A raw Scotchman, contrasted with a
sharp Londoner, is very inadroit and awkward, be his talents what they may; and I suspect, that even the most
brilliant of your old classfellows have, in their professional visits to this metropolis, had some experience of
what I mean.
ANDREW PRINGLE.
When Mr. Snodgrass paused, and was folding up the letter, Mrs. Craig, bending with her hands on her knees,
said, emphatically, "Noo, sir, what think you of that?" He was not, however, quite prepared to give an answer
to a question so abruptly propounded, nor indeed did he exactly understand to what particular the lady
referred. "For my part," she resumed, recovering her previous posture"for my part, it's a very caldrife way
of life to dine every day on coffee; broth and beef would put mair smeddum in the men; they're just a whin
auld fogies that Mr. Andrew describes, an' no wurth a single woman's pains." "Wheesht, wheesht, mistress,"
cried Mr. Craig; "ye mauna let your tongue rin awa with your sense in that gait." "It has but a light load," said
Miss Becky, whispering Isabella Tod. In this juncture, Mr. Micklewham happened to come in, and Mrs.
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Craig, on seeing him, cried out, "I hope, Mr. Micklewham, ye have brought the Doctor's letter. He's such a
funny man! and touches off the Londoners to the nines."
"He's a good man," said Mrs. Glibbans, in a tone calculated to repress the forwardness of Mrs. Craig; but
Miss Mally Glencairn having, in the meanwhile, taken from her pocket an epistle which she had received the
preceding day from Mrs. Pringle, Mr. Snodgrass silenced all controversy on that score by requesting her to
proceed with the reading. "She's a clever woman, Mrs. Pringle," said Mrs. Craig, who was resolved to cut a
figure in the conversation in her own house. "She's a discreet woman, and may be as godly, too, as some that
make mair wark about the elect." Whether Mrs. Glibbans thought this had any allusion to herself is not
susceptible of legal proof; but she turned round and looked at their "most kind hostess" with a sneer that
might almost merit the appellation of a snort. Mrs. Craig, however, pacified her, by proposing, "that, before
hearing the letter, they should take a dram of wine, or pree her cherry bounce"adding, "our maister likes a
been house, and ye a' ken that we are providing for a handling." The wine was accordingly served, and, in due
time, Miss Mally Glencairn edified and instructed the party with the contents of Mrs. Pringle's letter.
LETTER XXVI
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn
Dear Miss MallyYou will have heard, by the peppers, of the gret hobbleshow heer aboot the queen's
coming over contrary to the will of the nation; and, that the king and parlement are so angry with her, that
they are going to put her away by giving to her a bill of divorce. The Doctor, who has been searchin the
Scriptures on the okashon, says this is not in their poor, although she was found guilty of the fact; but I tell
him, that as the king and parlement of old took upon them to change our religion, I do not see how they will
be hampered now by the word of God.
You may well wonder that I have no ritten to you about the king, and what he is like, but we have never got a
sight of him at all, whilk is a gret shame, paying so dear as we do for a king, who shurely should be a publik
man. But, we have seen her majesty, who stays not far from our house heer in Baker Street, in dry lodgings,
which, I am creditably informed, she is obligated to pay for by the week, for nobody will trust her; so you see
what it is, Miss Mally, to have a light character. Poor woman, they say she might have been going from door
to door, with a staff and a meal pock, but for ane Mr. Wood, who is a baillie of London, that has ta'en her by
the hand. She's a woman advanced in life, with a short neck, and a pentit face; housomever, that, I suppose,
she canno help, being a queen, and obligated to set the fashons to the court, where it is necessar to hide their
faces with pent, our Andrew says, that their looks may not betray themthere being no shurer thing than a
false hearted courtier.
But what concerns me the most, in all this, is, that there will be no coronashon till the queen is put out of the
wayand nobody can take upon them to say when that will be, as the law is so dootful and endlesswhich
I am verra sorry for, as it was my intent to rite Miss Nanny Eydent a true account of the coronashon, in case
there had been any partiklars that might be servisable to her in her bisness.
The Doctor and me, by ourselves, since we have been settlt, go about at our convenience, and have seen far
mae farlies than baith Andrew and Rachel, with all the acquaintance they have forgathert withbut you no
old heeds canno be expectit on young shouthers, and they have not had the experience of the world that we
have had.
The lamps in the streets here are lighted with gauze, and not with crusies, like those that have lately been put
up in your toun; and it is brought in pips aneath the ground from the manufactors, which the Doctor and me
have been to seean awful placeand they say as fey to a spark as poother, which made us glad to get out
o't when we heard so;and we have been to see a brewhouse, where they mak the London porter, but it is a
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sight not to be told. In it we saw a barrel, whilk the Doctor said was by gauging bigger than the Irvine muckle
kirk, and a masking fat, like a barn for mugnited. But all thae were as nothing to a curiosity of a
steamingine, that minches minch collops as natural as lifeand stuffs the sosogees itself, in a manner past
the poor of nature to consiv. They have, to be shure, in London, many things to help workfor in our
kitchen there is a smokingjack to roast the meat, that gangs of its oun free will, and the brisker the fire, the
faster it runs; but a potatoebeetle is not to be had within the four walls of London, which is a great want in a
house; Mrs. Argent never hard of sic a thing.
Me and the Doctor have likewise been in the Houses of Parliament, and the Doctor since has been again to
heer the argolbargoling aboot the queen. But, cepting the king's throne, which is all gold and velvet, with a
croun on the top, and stars all round, there was nothing worth the looking at in them baith. Howsomever, I sat
in the king's seat, and in the preses chair of the House of Commons, which, you no, is something for me to
say; and we have been to see the printing of books, where the very smallest dividual syllib is taken up by
itself and made into words by the hand, so as to be quite confounding how it could ever read sense. But there
is ane piece of industry and froughgalaty I should not forget, whilk is wives going about with whirlbarrows,
selling horses' flesh to the cats and dogs by weight, and the cats and dogs know them very well by their
voices. In short, Miss Mally, there is nothing heer that the hand is not turnt to; and there is, I can see, a better
order and method really among the Londoners than among our Scotch folks, notwithstanding their advantages
of edicashion, but my pepper will hold no more at present, from your true friend,
JANET PRINGLE.
There was a considerable diversity of opinion among the commentators on this epistle. Mrs. Craig was the
first who broke silence, and displayed a great deal of erudition on the minchcollopengine, and the
potatoebeetle, in which she was interrupted by the indignant Mrs. Glibbans, who exclaimed, "I am surprised
to hear you, Mrs. Craig, speak of sic baubles, when the word of God's in danger of being controverted by an
Act of Parliament. But, Mr. Snodgrass, dinna ye think that this painting of the queen's face is a Jezebitical
testification against her?" Mr. Snodgrass replied, with an unwonted sobriety of manner, and with an emphasis
that showed he intended to make some impression on his auditors"It is impossible to judge correctly of
strangers by measuring them according to our own notions of propriety. It has certainly long been a practice
in courts to disfigure the beauty of the human countenance with paint; but what, in itself, may have been
originally assumed for a mask or disguise, may, by usage, have grown into a very harmless custom. I am not,
therefore, disposed to attach any criminal importance to the circumstance of her majesty wearing paint. Her
late majesty did so herself." "I do not say it was criminal," said Mrs. Glibbans; "I only meant it was sinful,
and I think it is." The accent of authority in which this was said, prevented Mr. Snodgrass from offering any
reply; and, a brief pause ensuing, Miss Molly Glencairn observed, that it was a surprising thing how the
Doctor and Mrs. Pringle managed their matters so well. "Ay," said Mrs. Craig, "but we a' ken what a manager
the mistress isshe's the bee that mak's the hincyshe does not gang bizzing aboot, like a thriftless wasp,
through her neighbours' houses." "I tell you, Betty, my dear," cried Mr. Craig, "that you shouldna make
comparisonswhat's past is ganeand Mrs. Glibbans and you maun now be friends." "They're a' friends to
me that's no faes, and am very glad to see Mrs. Glibbans sociable in my house; but she needna hae made sae
light of me when she was here before." And, in saying this, the amiable hostess burst into a loud sob of
sorrow, which induced Mr. Snodgrass to beg Mr. Micklewham to read the Doctor's letter, by which a happy
stop was put to the further manifestation of the grudge which Mrs. Craig harboured against Mrs. Glibbans for
the lecture she had received, on what the latter called "the incarnated effect of a more than Potipharian
claught o' the godly Mr. Craig."
LETTER XXVII
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk of Garnock
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Dear SirI had a great satisfaction in hearing that Mr. Snodgrass, in my place, prays for the queen on the
Lord's Day, which liberty, to do in our national church, is a thing to be upholden with a fearless spirit, even
with the spirit of martyrdom, that we may not bow down in Scotland to the prelatic Baal of an order in
Council, whereof the Archbishop of Canterbury, that is cousingerman to the Pope of Rome, is art and part.
Verily, the sending forth of that order to the General Assembly was treachery to the solemn oath of the new
king, whereby he took the vows upon him, conform to the Articles of the Union, to maintain the Church of
Scotland as by law established, so that for the Archbishop of Canterbury to meddle therein was a shooting out
of the horns of aggressive domination.
I think it is right of me to testify thus much, through you, to the Session, that the elders may stand on their
posts to bar all such breaking in of the Episcopalian boar into our corner of the vineyard.
Anent the queen's case and condition, I say nothing; for be she guilty, or be she innocent, we all know that
she was born in sin, and brought forth in iniquityprone to evil, as the sparks fly upwardsand desperately
wicked, like you and me, or any other poor Christian sinner, which is reason enough to make us think of her
in the remembering prayer.
Since she came over, there has been a wonderful work doing here; and it is thought that the crown will be
taken off her head by a strong handling of the Parliament; and really, when I think of the bishops sitting high
in the peerage, like owls and rooks in the bartisans of an old tower, I have my fears that they can bode her no
good. I have seen them in the House of Lords, clothed in their idolatrous robes; and when I looked at them so
proudly placed at the right hand of the king's throne, and on the side of the powerful, egging on, as I saw one
of them doing in a whisper, the Lord Liverpool, before he rose to speak against the queen, the blood ran cold
in my veins, and I thought of their woeful persecutions of our national church, and prayed inwardly that I
might be keepit in the humility of a zealous presbyter, and that the corruption of the frail human nature within
me might never be tempted by the pampered whoredoms of prelacy.
Saving the Lord Chancellor, all the other temporal peers were just as they had come in from the crown of the
causewaynone of them having a judicial garment, which was a shame; and as for the Chancellor's long
robe, it was not so good as my own gown; but he is said to be a very narrow man. What he spoke, however,
was no doubt sound law; yet I could observe he has a bad custom of taking the name of God in vain, which I
wonder at, considering he has such a kittle conscience, which, on less occasions, causes him often to shed
tears.
Mrs. Pringle and me, by ourselves, had a fine quiet canny sight of the queen, out of the window of a pastry
baxter's shop, opposite to where her majesty stays. She seems to be a plump and jocose little woman; gleg,
blithe, and throwgaun for her years, and on an easy footing with the lower orderscoming to the window
when they call for her, and becking to them, which is very civil of her, and gets them to take her part against
the government.
The baxter in whose shop we saw this told us that her majesty said, on being invited to take her dinner at an
inn on the road from Dover, that she would be content with a muttonchop at the King's Arms in London,
{2} which shows that she is a lady of a very hamely disposition. Mrs. Pringle thought her not big enough for
a queen; but we cannot expect every one to be like that bright accidental star, Queen Elizabeth, whose effigy
we have seen preserved in armour in the Tower of London, and in wax in Westminster Abbey, where they
have a livinglike likeness of Lord Nelson, in the very identical regimentals that he was killed in. They are
both wonderful places, but it costs a power of money to get through them, and all the folk about them think of
nothing but money; for when I inquired, with a reverent spirit, seeing around me the tombs of great and
famous men, the mighty and wise of their day, what department it was of the Abbey"It's the eighteenpence
department," said an uncircumcised Philistine, with as little respect as if we had been treading the courts of
the darling Dagon.
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Our concerns here are now drawing to a close; but before we return, we are going for a short time to a town
on the seaside, which they call Brighton. We had a notion of taking a trip to Paris, but that we must leave to
Andrew Pringle, my son, and his sister Rachel, if the bit lassie could get a decent gudeman, which maybe will
cast up for her before we leave London. Nothing, however, is settled as yet upon that head, so I can say no
more at present anent the same.
Since the affair of the sermon, I have withdrawn myself from trafficking so much as I did in the missionary
and charitable ploys that are so in vogue with the pious here, which will be all the better for my own people,
as I will keep for them what I was giving to the unknown; and it is my design to write a book on almsgiving,
to show in what manner that Christian duty may be best fulfilled, which I doubt not will have the effect of
opening the eyes of many in London to the true nature of the thing by which I was myself beguiled in this
Vanity Fair, like a bird ensnared by the fowler.
I was concerned to hear of poor Mr. Witherspoon's accident, in falling from his horse in coming from the
Dalmailing occasion. How thankful he must be, that the Lord made his head of a durability to withstand the
shock, which might otherwise have fractured his skull. What you say about the promise of the braird gives
me pleasure on account of the poor; but what will be done with the farmers and their high rents, if the harvest
turn out so abundant? Great reason have I to be thankful that the legacy has put me out of the reverence of my
stipend; for when the meal was cheap, I own to you that I felt my carnality grudging the horn of abundance
that the Lord was then pouring into the lap of the earth. In short, Mr. Micklewham, I doubt it is o'er true with
us all, that the less we are tempted, the better we are; so with my sincere prayers that you may be delivered
from all evil, and led out of the paths of temptation, whether it is on the highway, or on the footpaths, or
beneath the hedges, I remain, dear sir, your friend and pastor, ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
"The Doctor," said Mrs. Glibbans, as the schoolmaster concluded, "is there like himselfa true orthodox
Christian, standing up for the word, and overflowing with charity even for the sinner. But, Mr. Snodgrass, I
did not ken before that the bishops had a hand in the making of the Acts of the Parliament; I think, Mr.
Snodgrass, if that be the case, there should be some doubt in Scotland about obeying them. However that may
be, sure am I that the queen, though she was a perfect Deliah, has nothing to fear from them; for have we not
read in the Book of Martyrs, and other church histories, of their concubines and indulgences, in the papist
times, to all manner of carnal iniquity? But if she be that noghty woman that they say" "Gude safe's," cried
Mrs. Craig, "if she be a noghty woman, awa' wi' her, awa' wi' herwha kens the cantrips she may play us?"
Here Miss Mally Glencairn interposed, and informed Mrs. Craig, that a noghty woman was not, as she
seemed to think, a witch wife. "I am sure," said Miss Becky Glibbans, "that Mrs. Craig might have known
that." "Oh, ye're a spiteful deevil," whispered Miss Mally, with a smile to her; and turning in the same
moment to Miss Isabella Tod, begged her to read Miss Pringle's lettera motion which Mr. Snodgrass
seconded chiefly to abridge the conversation, during which, though he wore a serene countenance, he often
suffered much.
LETTER XXVIII
Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod
My Dear BellI am much obliged by your kind expressions for my little present. I hope soon to send you
something better, and gloves at the same time; for Sabre has been brought to the point by an alarm for the
Yorkshire baronet that I mentioned, as showing symptoms of the tender passion for my fortune. The friends
on both sides being satisfied with the match, it will take place as soon as some preliminary arrangements are
made. When we are settled, I hope your mother will allow you to come and spend some time with us at our
countryseat in Berkshire; and I shall be happy to repay all the expenses of your journey, as a jaunt to
England is what your mother would, I know, never consent to pay for.
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It is proposed that, immediately after the ceremony, we shall set out for France, accompanied by my brother,
where we are to be soon after joined at Paris by some of the Argents, who, I can see, think Andrew worth the
catching for Miss. My father and mother will then return to Scotland; but whether the Doctor will continue to
keep his parish, or give it up to Mr. Snodgrass, will depend greatly on the circumstances in which he finds his
parishioners. This is all the domestic intelligence I have got to give, but its importance will make up for other
deficiencies.
As to the continuance of our discoveries in London, I know not well what to say. Every day brings something
new, but we lose the sense of novelty. Were a fire in the same street where we live, it would no longer alarm
me. A few nights ago, as we were sitting in the parlour after supper, the noise of an engine passing startled us
all; we ran to the windowsthere was haste and torches, and the sound of other engines, and all the horrors
of a conflagration reddening the skies. My father sent out the footboy to inquire where it was; and when the
boy came back, he made us laugh, by snapping his fingers, and saying the fire was not worth so much
although, upon further inquiry, we learnt that the house in which it originated was burnt to the ground. You
see, therefore, how the bustle of this great world hardens the sensibilities, but I trust its influence will never
extend to my heart.
The principal topic of conversation at present is about the queen. The Argents, who are our main instructors
in the proprieties of London life, say that it would be very vulgar in me to go to look at her, which I am sorry
for, as I wish above all things to see a personage so illustrious by birth, and renowned by misfortune. The
Doctor and my mother, who are less scrupulous, and who, in consequence, somehow, by themselves, contrive
to see, and get into places that are inaccessible to all gentility, have had a full view of her majesty. My father
has since become her declared partisan, and my mother too has acquired a leaning likewise towards her side
of the question; but neither of them will permit the subject to be spoken of before me, as they consider it
detrimental to good morals. I, however, read the newspapers.
What my brother thinks of her majesty's case is not easy to divine; but Sabre is convinced of the queen's guilt,
upon some private and authentic information which a friend of his, who has returned from Italy, heard when
travelling in that country. This information he has not, however, repeated to me, so that it must be very bad.
We shall know all when the trial comes on. In the meantime, his majesty, who has lived in dignified
retirement since he came to the throne, has taken up his abode, with rural felicity, in a cottage in Windsor
Forest; where he now, contemning all the pomp and follies of his youth, and this metropolis, passes his days
amidst his cabbages, like Dioclesian, with innocence and tranquillity, far from the intrigues of courtiers, and
insensible to the murmuring waves of the fluctuating populace, that set in with so strong a current towards
"the mobled queen," as the divine Shakespeare has so beautifully expressed it.
You ask me about Vauxhall Gardens;I have not seen themthey are no longer in fashionthe theatres
are quite vulgareven the opera house has sunk into a secondrate place of resort. Almack's balls, the
Argylerooms, and the Philharmonic concerts, are the only public entertainments frequented by people of
fashion; and this high superiority they owe entirely to the difficulty of gaining admission. London, as my
brother says, is too rich, and grown too luxurious, to have any exclusive place of fashionable resort, where
price alone is the obstacle. Hence, the institution of these select aristocratic assemblies. The Philharmonic
concerts, however, are rather professional than fashionable entertainments; but everybody is fond of music,
and, therefore, everybody, that can be called anybody, is anxious to get tickets to them; and this anxiety has
given them a degree of eclat, which I am persuaded the performance would never have excited had the tickets
been purchasable at any price. The great thing here is, either to be somebody, or to be patronised by a person
that is a somebody; without this, though you were as rich as Croesus, your golden chariots, like the comets of
a season, blazing and amazing, would speedily roll away into the obscurity from which they came, and be
remembered no more.
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At first when we came here, and when the amount of our legacy was first promulgated, we were in a terrible
flutter. Andrew became a man of fashion, with all the haste that tailors, and horses, and dinners, could make
him. My father, honest man, was equally inspired with lofty ideas, and began a career that promised a liberal
benefaction of good things to the poorand my mother was almost distracted with calculations about laying
out the money to the best advantage, and the sum she would allow to be spent. I alone preserved my natural
equanimity; and foreseeing the necessity of new accomplishments to suit my altered circumstances, applied
myself to the instructions of my masters, with an assiduity that won their applause. The advantages of this I
now experiencemy brother is sobered from his champaign fumesmy father has found out that charity
begins at homeand my mother, though her establishment is enlarged, finds her happiness, notwithstanding
the legacy, still lies within the little circle of her household cares. Thus, my dear Bell, have I proved the
sweets of a true philosophy; and, unseduced by the blandishments of rank, rejected Sir Marmaduke Towler,
and accepted the humbler but more disinterested swain, Captain Sabre, who requests me to send you his
compliments, not altogether content that you should occupy so much of the bosom of your affectionate
RACHEL PRINGLE.
"Rachel had ay a gude roose of hersel'," said Becky Glibbans, as Miss Isabella concluded. In the same
moment, Mr. Snodgrass took his leave, saying to Mr. Micklewham, that he had something particular to
mention to him. "What can it be about?" inquired Mrs. Glibbans at Mr. Craig, as soon as the helper and
schoolmaster had left the room: "Do you think it can be concerning the Doctor's resignation of the parish in
his favour?" "I'm sure," interposed Mrs. Craig, before her husband could reply, "it winna be wi' my gudewill
that he shall come in upon usa pridefu' wight, whose saft words, and a' his politeness, are but lipdeep; na,
na, Mrs. Glibbans, we maun hae another on the leet forbye him."
"And wha would ye put on the leet noo, Mrs. Craig, you that's sic a judge?" said Mrs. Glibbans, with the most
ineffable consequentiality.
"I'll be for young Mr. Dirlton, who is baith a sappy preacher of the word, and a substantial hand at every kind
of civility."
"Young Dirlton!young Deevilton!" cried the orthodox Deborah of Irvine; "a fallow that knows no more of
a gospel dispensation than I do of the Arian heresy, which I hold in utter abomination. No, Mrs. Craig, you
have a godly man for your husbanda sound and true follower; tread ye in his footsteps, and no try to set up
yoursel' on points of doctrine. But it's time, Miss Mally, that we were taking the road; Becky and Miss
Isabella, make yourselves ready. Noo, Mrs. Craig, ye'll no be a stranger; you see I have no been lang of
coming to give you my countenance; but, my leddy, ca' canny, it's no easy to carry a fu' cup; ye hae gotten a
great gift in your gudeman. Mr. Craig, I wish you a goodnight; I would fain have stopped for your evening
exercise, but Miss Mally was beginning, I saw, to wearyso goodnight; and, Mrs. Craig, ye'll take tent of
what I have saidit's for your gude." So exeunt Mrs. Glibbans, Miss Mally, and the two young ladies. "Her
bark's waur than her bite," said Mrs. Craig, as she returned to her husband, who felt already some of the ourie
symptoms of a henpecked destiny.
CHAPTER IXTHE MARRIAGE
Mr. Snodgrass was obliged to walk into Irvine one evening, to get rid of a raging tooth, which had tormented
him for more than a week. The operation was so delicately and cleverly performed by the surgeon to whom
he appliedone of those young medical gentlemen, who, after having been educated for the army or navy,
are obliged, in this weak piping time of peace, to glean what practice they can amid their native shadesthat
the amiable divine found himself in a condition to call on Miss Isabella Tod.
During this visit, Saunders Dickie, the postman, brought a London letter to the door, for Miss Isabella; and
Mr. Snodgrass having desired the servant to inquire if there were any for him, had the good fortune to get the
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following from Mr. Andrew Pringle:
LETTER XXIX
Andrew Pringle Esq., to the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass
My Dear FriendI never receive a letter from you without experiencing a strong emotion of regret, that
talents like yours should be wilfully consigned to the sequestered vegetation of a country pastor's life. But we
have so often discussed this point, that I shall only offend your delicacy if I now revert to it more particularly.
I cannot, however, but remark, that although a private station may be the happiest, a public is the proper
sphere of virtue and talent, so clear, superior, and decided as yours. I say this with the more confidence, as I
have really, from your letter, obtained a better conception of the queen's case, than from all that I have been
able to read and hear upon the subject in London. The rule you lay down is excellent. Public safety is
certainly the only principle which can justify mankind in agreeing to observe and enforce penal statutes; and,
therefore, I think with you, that unless it could be proved in a very simple manner, that it was requisite for the
public safety to institute proceedings against the queenher sins or indiscretions should have been allowed
to remain in the obscurity of her private circle.
I have attended the trial several times. For a judicial proceeding, it seems to me too longand for a
legislative, too technical. Brougham, it is allowed, has displayed even greater talent than was expected; but he
is too sharp; he seems to me more anxious to gain a triumph, than to establish truth. I do not like the tone of
his proceedings, while I cannot sufficiently admire his dexterity. The style of Denman is more lofty, and
impressed with stronger lineaments of sincerity. As for their opponents, I really cannot endure the
AttorneyGeneral as an orator; his whole mind consists, as it were, of a number of little hands and
clawseach of which holds some scrap or portion of his subject; but you might as well expect to get an idea
of the form and character of a tree, by looking at the fallen leaves, the fruit, the seeds, and the blossoms, as
anything like a comprehensive view of a subject, from an intellect so constituted as that of Sir Robert Gifford.
He is a man of application, but of meagre abilities, and seems never to have read a book of travels in his life.
The SolicitorGeneral is somewhat better; but he is one of those who think a certain artificial gravity
requisite to professional consequence; and which renders him somewhat obtuse in the tact of propriety.
Within the bar, the talent is superior to what it is without; and I have been often delighted with the amazing
fineness, if I may use the expression, with which the Chancellor discriminates the shades of difference in the
various points on which he is called to deliver his opinion. I consider his mind as a curiosity of no ordinary
kind. It deceives itself by its own acuteness. The edge is too sharp; and, instead of cutting straight through, it
often diverges alarming his conscience with the dread of doing wrong. This singular subtlety has the effect
of impairing the reverence which the endowments and high professional accomplishments of this great man
are otherwise calculated to inspire. His eloquence is not effectiveit touches no feeling nor affects any
passion; but still it affords wonderful displays of a lucid intellect. I can compare it to nothing but a pencil of
sunshine; in which, although one sees countless motes flickering and fluctuating, it yet illuminates, and
steadily brings into the most satisfactory distinctness, every object on which it directly falls.
Lord Erskine is a character of another class, and whatever difference of opinion may exist with respect to
their professional abilities and attainments, it will be allowed by those who contend that Eldon is the better
lawyerthat Erskine is the greater genius. Nature herself, with a constellation in her hand, playfully
illuminates his path to the temple of reasonable justice; while Precedence with her guidebook, and Study
with a lantern, cautiously show the road in which the Chancellor warily plods his weary way to that of legal
Equity. The sedateness of Eldon is so remarkable, that it is difficult to conceive that he was ever young; but
Erskine cannot grow old; his spirit is still glowing and flushed with the enthusiasm of youth. When
impassioned, his voice acquires a singularly elevated and pathetic accent; and I can easily conceive the
irresistible effect he must have had on the minds of a jury, when he was in the vigour of his physical powers,
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and the case required appeals of tenderness or generosity. As a parliamentary orator, Earl Grey is
undoubtedly his superior; but there is something much less popular and conciliating in his manner. His
eloquence is heard to most advantage when he is contemptuous; and he is then certainly dignified, ardent, and
emphatic; but it is apt, I should think, to impress those who hear him, for the first time, with an idea that he is
a very supercilious personage, and this unfavourable impression is liable to be strengthened by the elegant
aristocratic languor of his appearance.
I think that you once told me you had some knowledge of the Marquis of Lansdowne, when he was Lord
Henry Petty. I can hardly hope that, after an interval of so many years, you will recognise him in the
following sketch: His appearance is much more that of a Whig than Lord Greystout and sturdybut still
withal gentlemanly; and there is a pleasing simplicity, with somewhat of goodnature, in the expression of
his countenance, that renders him, in a quiescent state, the more agreeable character of the two. He speaks
exceedingly wellclear, methodical, and argumentative; but his eloquence, like himself, is not so graceful as
it is upon the whole manly; and there is a little tendency to verbosity in his language, as there is to corpulency
in his figure; but nothing turgid, while it is entirely free from affectation. The character of respectable is very
legibly impressed, in everything about the mind and manner of his lordship. I should, now that I have seen
and heard him, be astonished to hear such a man represented as capable of being factious.
I should say something about Lord Liverpool, not only on account of his rank as a minister, but also on
account of the talents which have qualified him for that high situation. The greatest objection that I have to
him as a speaker, is owing to the loudness of his voicein other respects, what he does say is well digested.
But I do not think that he embraces his subject with so much power and comprehension as some of his
opponents; and he has evidently less actual experience of the world. This may doubtless be attributed to his
having been almost constantly in office since he came into public life; than which nothing is more
detrimental to the unfolding of natural ability, while it induces a sort of artificial talent, connected with forms
and technicalities, which, though useful in business, is but of minor consequence in a comparative estimate of
moral and intellectual qualities. I am told that in his manner he resembles Mr. Pitt; be this, however, as it
may, he is evidently a speaker, formed more by habit and imitation, than one whom nature prompts to be
eloquent. He lacks that occasional accent of passion, the melody of oratory; and I doubt if, on any occasion,
he could at all approximate to that magnificent intrepidity which was admired as one of the noblest
characteristics of his master's style.
But all the display of learning and eloquence, and intellectual power and majesty of the House of Lords,
shrinks into insignificance when compared with the moral attitude which the people have taken on this
occasion. You know how much I have ever admired the attributes of the English national characterthat
boundless generosity, which can only be compared to the impartial benevolence of the sunshine that heroic
magnanimity, which makes the hand ever ready to succour a fallen foe; and that sublime courage, which rises
with the energy of a conflagration roused by a tempest, at every insult or menace of an enemy. The
compassionate interest taken by the populace in the future condition of the queen is worthy of this
extraordinary people. There may be many among them actuated by what is called the radical spirit; but
malignity alone would dare to ascribe the bravery of their compassion to a less noble feeling than that which
has placed the kingdom so proudly in the van of all modern nations. There may be an amiable delusion, as
my Lord Castlereagh has said, in the popular sentiments with respect to the queen. Upon that, as upon her
case, I offer no opinion. It is enough for me to have seen, with the admiration of a worshipper, the manner in
which the multitude have espoused her cause.
But my paper is filled, and I must conclude. I should, however, mention that my sister's marriage is appointed
to take place to morrow, and that I accompany the happy pair to France.Yours truly, ANDREW
PRINGLE.
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Page No 56
"This is a dry letter," said Mr. Snodgrass, and he handed it to Miss Isabella, who, in exchange, presented the
one which she had herself at the same time received; but just as Mr. Snodgrass was on the point of reading it,
Miss Becky Glibbans was announced. "How lucky this is," exclaimed Miss Becky, "to find you both
thegither! Now you maun tell me all the particulars; for Miss Mally Glencairn is no in, and her letter lies
unopened. I am just gasping to hear how Rachel conducted herself at being married in the kirk before all the
folkmarried to the hussar captain, too, after all! who would have thought it?"
"How, have you heard of the marriage already?" said Miss Isabella. "Oh, it's in the newspapers," replied the
amiable inquisitant, "Like ony tailor or weaver'sa' weddings maun nowadays gang into the papers. The
whole toun, by this time, has got it; and I wouldna wonder if Rachel Pringle's marriage ding the queen's
divorce out of folk's heads for the next nine days to come. But only to think of her being married in a public
kirk. Surely her father would never submit to hae't done by a bishop? And then to put it in the London paper,
as if Rachel Pringle had been somebody of distinction. Perhaps it might have been more to the purpose,
considering what dragoon officers are, if she had got the doited Doctor, her father, to publish the intended
marriage in the papers beforehand."
"Haud that condumacious tongue of yours," cried a voice, panting with haste as the door opened, and Mrs.
Glibbans entered. "Becky, will you never devawl wi' your backbiting. I wonder frae whom the misleart lassie
takes a' this passion of clashing."
The authority of her parent's tongue silenced Miss Becky, and Mrs. Glibbans having seated herself,
continued,"Is it your opinion, Mr. Snodgrass, that this marriage can hold good, contracted, as I am told it is
mentioned in the papers to hae been, at the horns of the altar of Episcopalian apostacy?"
"I can set you right as to that," said Miss Isabella. "Rachel mentions, that, after returning from the church, the
Doctor himself performed the ceremony anew, according to the Presbyterian usage." "I am glad to heart, very
glad indeed," said Mrs. Glibbans. "It would have been a judgmentlike thing, had a bairn of Dr. Pringle's
than whom, although there may be abler, there is not a sounder man in a' the West of Scotlandbeen
sacrificed to Moloch, like the victims of prelatic idolatry."
At this juncture, Miss Mally Glencairn was announced: she entered, holding a letter from Mrs. Pringle in her
hand, with the seal unbroken. Having heard of the marriage from an acquaintance in the street, she had
hurried home, in the wellfounded expectation of hearing from her friend and wellwisher, and taking up the
letter, which she found on her table, came with all speed to Miss Isabella Tod to commune with her on the
tidings.
Never was any confluence of visitors more remarkable than on this occasion. Before Miss Mally had well
explained the cause of her abrupt intrusion, Mr. Micklewham made his appearance. He had come to Irvine to
be measured for a new coat, and meeting by accident with Saunders Dickie, got the Doctor's letter from him,
which, after reading, he thought he could do no less than call at Mrs. Tod's, to let Miss Isabella know the
change which had taken place in the condition of her friend.
Thus were all the correspondents of the Pringles assembled, by the merest chance, like the dramatis personae
at the end of a play. After a little harmless bantering, it was agreed that Miss Mally should read her
communication firstas all the others were previously acquainted with the contents of their respective
letters, and Miss Mally read as follows:
LETTER XXX
Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn
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CHAPTER IXTHE MARRIAGE 54
Page No 57
Dear Miss MallyI hav a cro to pik with you conserning yoor comishon aboot the partickels for your
friends. You can hav no noshon what the Doctor and me suffert on the head of the flooring shrubs. We took
your Nota Beny as it was spilt, and went from shop to shop enquirin in a most partiklar manner for "a
Gardner's Bell, or the least of all flowering plants"; but sorrow a gardner in the whole tot here in London ever
had heard of sic a thing; so we gave the porshoot up in despare. Howsomever, one of Andrew's
acquaintancea decent lad, who is only son to a saddler in a been way, that keeps his own carriage, and his
son a coryikel, happent to call, and the Doctor told him what ill socsess we had in our serch for the gardner's
bell; upon which he sought a sight of your yepissle, and read it as a thing that was just wonderful for its
whorsogroffie; and then he sayid, that looking at the prinsipol of your spilling, he thought we should reed, "a
gardner's bill, or a list of all flooring plants"; whilk being no doot your intent, I have proqurt the same, and it
is included heerin. But, Miss Mally, I would advize you to be more exac in your inditing, that no sic
torbolashon may hippen on a future okashon.
What I hav to say for the present is, that you will, by a smak, get a bocks of kumoddities, whilk you will
destraboot as derekit on every on of them, and you will before have resievit by the post offis, an account of
what has been don. I need say no forther at this time, knowin your discreshon and prooduns, septs that our
Rachel and Captain Sabor will, if it pleese the Lord, be off to Parish, by way of Bryton, as man and wife, the
morn's morning. What her father the Doctor gives for tocher, what is settlt on her for jontor, I will tell you all
aboot when we meet; for it's our dishire noo to lose no tim in retorning to the manse, this being the last of our
diplomaticals in London, where we have found the Argents a most discrit family, payin to the last farding the
Cornal's legacy, and most seevil, and well bred to us.
As I am naterally gretly okypt with this matteromoneal afair, you cannot expect ony news; but the queen is
going on with a dreadful rat, by which the pesents hav falen more than a whole entirr pesent. I wish our fonds
were well oot of them, and in yird and stane, which is a constansie. But what is to become of the poor donsie
woman, no one can expound. Some think she will be pot in the Toor of London, and her head chappit off;
others think she will raise sic a stramash, that she will send the whole government into the air, like peelings
of ingons, by a gunpoother plot. But it's my opinion, and I have weighed the matter well in my understanding,
that she will hav to fight with sword in hand, be she ill, or be she good. How els can she hop to get the better
of more than two hundred lords, as the Doctor, who has seen them, tells me, with princes of the blood royal,
and the prelatic bishops, whom, I need not tell you, are the worst of all.
But the thing I grudge most, is to be so long in Lundon, and no to see the king. Is it not a hard thing to come
to London, and no to see the king? I am not pleesed with him, I assure you, becose he does not set himself out
to public view, like ony other curiosity, but stays in his palis, they say, like one of the anshent wooden images
of idolatry, the which is a great peety, he beeing, as I am told, a beautiful man, and more the gentleman than
all the coortiers of his court.
The Doctor has been minting to me that there is an address from Irvine to the queen; and he, being so near a
neighbour to your toun, has been thinking to pay his respecs with it, to see her near at hand. But I will say
nothing; he may take his own way in matters of gospel and spiritualety; yet I have my scroopols of
conshence, how this may not turn out a rebellyon against the king; and I would hav him to sift and see who
are at the address, before he pits his han to it. For, if it's a radikol job, as I jealoos it is, what will the Doctor
then say? who is an orthodox man, as the world nose.
In the maitre of our dumesticks, no new axsident has cast up; but I have seen such a wonder as could not have
been forethocht. Having a washin, I went down to see how the lassies were doing; but judge of my feelings,
when I saw them triomphing on the top of pattons, standing upright before the boyns on chairs, rubbin the
clothes to juggins between their hands, above the sapples, with their gouns and stays on, and roundcared
mutches. What would you think of such a miracle at the washinghouse in the Goffields, or the
Gallowsknows of Irvine? The cook, howsomever, has shown me a way to make rice puddings without
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eggs, by putting in a bit of shoohet, which is as goodand this you will tell Miss Nanny Eydent; likewise,
that the most fashionable way of boiling green pis, is to pit a blade of spearmint in the pot, which gives a fine
flavour. But this is a long letter, and my pepper is done; so no more, but remains your friend and
wellwisher, JANET PRINGLE.
"A great legacy, and her dochtir married, in ae journey to London, is doing business," said Mrs. Glibbans,
with a sigh, as she looked to her only get, Miss Becky; "but the Lord's will is to be done in a' thing;sooner
or later something of the same kind will come, I trust, to all our families." "Ay," replied Miss Mally
Glencairn, "marriage is like deathit's what we are a' to come to."
"I have my doubts of that," said Miss Becky with a sneer. "Ye have been lang spair't from it, Miss Mally."
"Ye're a spiteful puddock; and if the men hae the e'en and lugs they used to hae, gude pity him whose lot is
cast with thine, Becky Glibbans," replied the elderly maiden ornament of the Kirkgate, somewhat tartly.
Here Mr. Snodgrass interposed, and said, he would read to them the letter which Miss Isabella had received
from the bride; and without waiting for their concurrence, opened and read as follows:
LETTER XXXI
Mrs. Sabre to Miss Isabella Tod
My Dearest BellRachel Pringle is no more! My heart flutters as I write the fatal words. This morning, at
nine o'clock precisely, she was conducted in bridal array to the new church of Marylebone; and there, with
ring and book, sacrificed to the Minotaur, Matrimony, who devours so many of our bravest youths and fairest
maidens.
My mind is too agitated to allow me to describe the scene. The office of handmaid to the victim, which, in
our young simplicity, we had fondly thought one of us would perform for the other, was gracefully sustained
by Miss Argent.
On returning from church to my father's residence in Baker Street, where we breakfasted, he declared himself
not satisfied with the formalities of the English ritual, and obliged us to undergo a second ceremony from
himself, according to the wonted forms of the Scottish Church. All the advantages and pleasures of which,
my dear Bell, I hope you will soon enjoy.
But I have no time to enter into particulars. The captain and his lady, by themselves, in their own carriage, set
off for Brighton in the course of less than an hour. On Friday they are to be followed by a large party of their
friends and relations; and, after spending a few days in that emporium of saltwater pleasures, they embark,
accompanied with their beloved brother, Mr. Andrew Pringle, for Paris; where they are afterwards to be
joined by the Argents. It is our intention to remain about a month in the French capital; whether we shall
extend our tour, will depend on subsequent circumstances: in the meantime, however, you will hear
frequently from me.
My mother, who has a thousand times during these important transactions wished for the assistance of Nanny
Eydent, transmits to Miss Mally Glencairn a box containing all the requisite bridal recognisances for our
Irvine friends. I need not say that the best is for the faithful companion of my happiest years. As I had made a
vow in my heart that Becky Glibbans should never wear gloves for my marriage, I was averse to sending her
any at all, but my mother insisted that no exceptions should be made. I secretly took care, however, to mark a
pair for her, so much too large, that I am sure she will never put them on. The asp will be not a little vexed at
the disappointment. Adieu for a time, and believe that, although your affectionate Rachel Pringle be gone that
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way in which she hopes you will soon follow, one not less sincerely attached to you, though it be the first
time she has so subscribed herself, remains in RACHEL SABRE.
Before the ladies had time to say a word on the subject, the prudent young clergyman called immediately on
Mr. Micklewham to read the letter which he had received from the Doctor; and which the worthy dominie did
without delay, in that rich and full voice with which he is accustomed to teach his scholars elocution by
example.
LETTER XXXII
The Rev. Z. Pringle, D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and SessionClerk, GarnockLONDON.
Dear SirI have been much longer of replying to your letter of the 3rd of last month, than I ought in civility
to have been, but really time, in this town of London, runs at a fast rate, and the day passes before the dark's
done. What with Mrs. Pringle and her daughter's concernments, anent the marriage to Captain Sabre, and the
trouble I felt myself obliged to take in the queen's affair, I assure you, Mr. Micklewham, that it's no to be
expressed how I have been occupied for the last four weeks. But all things must come to a conclusion in this
world. Rachel Pringle is married, and the queen's weary trial is brought to an endupon the subject and
motion of the same, I offer no opinion, for I made it a point never to read the evidence, being resolved to
stand by THE WORD from the first, which is clearly and plainly written in the queen's favour, and it does not
do in a case of conscience to stand on trifles; putting, therefore, out of consideration the fact libelled, and
looking both at the head and the tail of the proceeding, I was of a firm persuasion, that all the sculduddery of
the business might have been well spared from the eye of the public, which is of itself sufficiently prone to
keek and kook, in every possible way, for a glimpse of a black story; and, therefore, I thought it my duty to
stand up in all places against the trafficking that was attempted with a divine institution. And I think, when
my people read how their prelatic enemies, the bishops (the heavens defend the poor Church of Scotland
from being subjected to the weight of their paws), have been visited with a constipation of the understanding
on that point, it must to them be a great satisfaction to know how clear and collected their minister was on
this fundamental of society. For it has turned out, as I said to Mrs. Pringle, as well as others, it would do, that
a sense of grace and religion would be manifested in some quarter before all was done, by which the devices
for an unsanctified repudiation or divorce would be set at nought.
As often as I could, deeming it my duty as a minister of the word and gospel, I got into the House of Lords,
and heard the trial; and I cannot think how ever it was expected that justice could be done yonder; for
although no man could be more attentive than I was, every time I came away I was more confounded than
when I went; and when the trial was done, it seemed to me just to be clearing up for a proper beginningall
which is a proof that there was a foul conspiracy. Indeed, when I saw Duke Hamilton's daughter coming out
of the coach with the queen, I never could think after, that a lady of her degree would have countenanced the
queen had the matter laid to her charge been as it was said. Not but in any circumstance it behoved a lady of
that ancient and royal blood, to be seen beside the queen in such a great historical case as a trial.
I hope, in the part I have taken, my people will be satisfied; but whether they are satisfied or not, my own
conscience is content with me. I was in the House of Lords when her majesty came down for the last time,
and saw her handed up the stairs by the usher of the blackrod, a little stumpy man, wonderful particular
about the rules of the House, insomuch that he was almost angry with me for stopping at the stairhead. The
afflicted woman was then in great spirits, and I saw no symptoms of the swelled legs that Lord Lauderdale,
that jooking man, spoke about, for she skippit up the steps like a lassie. But my heart was wae for her when
all was over, for she came out like an astonished creature, with a wild steadfast look, and a sort of something
in the face that was as if the rational spirit had fled away; and she went down to her coach as if she had
submitted to be led to a doleful destiny. Then the shouting of the people began, and I saw and shouted too in
spite of my decorum, which I marvel at sometimes, thinking it could be nothing less than an involuntary
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testification of the spirit within me.
Anent the marriage of Rachel Pringle, it may be needful in me to state, for the satisfaction of my people, that
although by stress of law we were obligated to conform to the practice of the Episcopalians, by taking out a
bishop's license, and going to their church, and vowing, in a pagan fashion, before their altars, which are an
abomination to the Lord; yet, when the young folk came home, I made them stand up, and be married again
before me, according to all regular marriages in our national Church. For this I had two reasons: first, to
satisfy myself that there had been a true and real marriage; and, secondly, to remove the doubt of the former
ceremony being sufficient; for marriage being of divine appointment, and the English form and ritual being a
thing established by Act of Parliament, which is of human ordination, I was not sure that marriage performed
according to a human enactment could be a fulfilment of a divine ordinance. I therefore hope that my people
will approve what I have done; and in order that there may be a sympathising with me, you will go over to
Banker My, and get what he will give you, as ordered by me, and distribute it among the poorest of the
parish, according to the best of your discretion, my long absence having taken from me the power of
judgment in a matter of this sort. I wish indeed for the glad sympathy of my people, for I think that our
Saviour turning water into wine at the wedding, was an example set that we should rejoice and be merry at
the fulfilment of one of the great obligations imposed on us as social creatures; and I have ever regarded the
unhonoured treatment of a marriage occasion as a thing of evil bodement, betokening heavy hearts and light
purses to the lot of the bride and bridegroom. You will hear more from me by and by; in the meantime, all I
can say is, that when we have taken our leave of the young folks, who are going to France, it is Mrs. Pringle's
intent, as well as mine, to turn our horses' heads northward, and make our way with what speed we can, for
our own quiet home, among you. So no more at present from your friend and pastor,
Z. PRINGLE.
Mrs. Tod, the mother of Miss Isabella, a respectable widow lady, who had quiescently joined the company,
proposed that they should now drink health, happiness, and all manner of prosperity, to the young couple; and
that nothing might be wanting to secure the favourable auspices of good omens to the toast, she desired Miss
Isabella to draw fresh bottles of white and red. When all manner of felicity was duly wished in wine to the
captain and his lady, the party rose to seek their respective homes. But a bustle at the streetdoor occasioned
a pause. Mrs. Tod inquired the matter; and three or four voices at once replied, that an express had come from
Garnock for Nanse Swaddle the midwife, Mrs. Craig being taken with her pains. "Mr. Snodgrass," said Mrs.
Glibbans, instantly and emphatically, "ye maun let me go with you, and we can spiritualise on the road; for I
hae promis't Mrs. Craig to be wi' her at the crying, to see the upshotso I hope you will come awa."
It would be impossible in us to suppose, that Mr. Snodgrass had any objections to spiritualise with Mrs.
Glibbans on the road between Irvine and Garnock; but, notwithstanding her urgency, he excused himself
from going with her; however, he recommended her to the special care and protection of Mr. Micklewham,
who was at that time on his legs to return home. "Oh! Mr. Snodgrass," said the lady, looking slyly, as she
adjusted her cloak, at him and Miss Isabella, "there will be marrying and giving in marriage till the day of
judgment." And with these oracular words she took her departure.
CHAPTER XTHE RETURN
On Friday, Miss Mally Glencairn received a brief note from Mrs. Pringle, informing her, that she and the
Doctor would reach the manse, "God willing," in time for tea on Saturday; and begging her, therefore, to go
over from Irvine, and see that the house was in order for their reception. This note was written from Glasgow,
where they had arrived, in their own carriage, from Carlisle on the preceding day, after encountering, as Mrs.
Pringle said, "more hardships and extorshoning than all the dangers of the sea which they met with in the
smack of Leith that took them to London."
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As soon as Miss Mally received this intelligence, she went to Miss Isabella Tod, and requested her company
for the next day to Garnock, where they arrived betimes to dine with Mr. Snodgrass. Mrs. Glibbans and her
daughter Becky were then on a consolatory visit to Mr. Craig. We mentioned in the last chapter, that the
crying of Mrs. Craig had come on; and that Mrs. Glibbans, according to promise, and with the most anxious
solicitude, had gone to wait the upshot. The upshot was most melancholy,Mrs. Craig was soon no
more;she was taken, as Mrs. Glibbans observed on the occasion, from the earthly arms of her husband, to
the spiritual bosom of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, which was far better. But the baby survived; so that, what
with getting a nurse, and the burial, and all the work and handling that a birth and death in one house at the
same time causes, Mr. Craig declared, that he could not do without Mrs. Glibbans; and she, with all that
Christianity by which she was so zealously distinguished, sent for Miss Becky, and took up her abode with
him till it would please Him, without whom there is no comfort, to wipe the eyes of the pious elder. In a
word, she staid so long, that a rumour began to spread that Mr. Craig would need a wife to look after his
bairn; and that Mrs. Glibbans was destined to supply the desideratum.
Mr. Snodgrass, after enjoying his dinner society with Miss Mally and Miss Isabella, thought it necessary to
dispatch a courier, in the shape of a barefooted servant lass, to Mr. Micklewham, to inform the elders that the
Doctor was expected home in time for tea, leaving it to their discretion either to greet his safe return at the
manse, or in any other form or manner that would be most agreeable to themselves. These important news
were soon diffused through the clachan. Mr. Micklewham dismissed his school an hour before the wonted
time, and there was a universal interest and curiosity excited, to see the Doctor coming home in his own
coach. All the boys of Garnock assembled at the braehead which commands an extensive view of the
Kilmarnock road, the only one from Glasgow that runs through the parish; the wives with their sucklings
were seated on the large stones at their respective doorcheeks; while their cats were calmly reclining on the
window soles. The lassie weans, like clustering bees, were mounted on the carts that stood before Thomas
Birlpenny the vintner's door, churming with anticipated delight; the old men took their stations on the dike
that incloses the side of the vintner's kailyard, and "a batch of wabster lads," with green aprons and thin
yellow faces, planted themselves at the gable of the malt kiln, where they were wont, when trade was better,
to play at the handball; but, poor fellows, since the trade fell off, they have had no heart for the game, and
the vintner's halfmutchkin stoups glitter in empty splendour unrequired on the shelf below the brazen sconce
above the bracepiece, amidst the idle pewter pepperboxes, the bright copper teakettle, the coffeepot that
has never been in use, and lids of saucepans that have survived their principals,the wonted ornaments of
every trig changehouse kitchen.
The season was far advanced; but the sun shone at his setting with a glorious composure, and the birds in the
hedges and on the boughs were again gladdened into song. The leaves had fallen thickly, and the
stubblefields were bare, but Autumn, in a manycoloured tartan plaid, was seen still walking with matronly
composure in the woodlands, along the brow of the neighbouring hills.
About halfpast four o'clock, a movement was seen among the callans at the braehead, and a shout
announced that a carriage was in sight. It was answered by a murmuring response of satisfaction from the
whole village. In the course of a few minutes the carriage reached the turnpikeit was of the darkest green
and the gravest fashion, a large trunk, covered with Russian matting, and fastened on with cords, prevented
from chafing it by knots of straw rope, occupied the front,behind, other two were fixed in the same
manner, the lesser of course uppermost; and deep beyond a pile of light bundles and bandboxes, that occupied
a large portion of the interior, the blithe faces of the Doctor and Mrs. Pringle were discovered. The boys
huzzaed, the Doctor flung them pennypieces, and the mistress baubees.
As the carriage drove along, the old men on the dike stood up and reverently took off their hats and bonnets.
The weaver lads gazed with a melancholy smile; the lassies on the carts clapped their hands with joy; the
women on both sides of the street acknowledged the recognising nods; while all the village dogs, surprised by
the sound of chariot wheels, came baying and barking forth, and sent off the cats that were so doucely sitting
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on the window soles, clambering and scampering over the roofs in terror of their lives.
When the carriage reached the manse door, Mr. Snodgrass, the two ladies, with Mr. Micklewham, and all the
elders except Mr. Craig, were there ready to receive the travellers. But over this joy of welcoming we must
draw a veil; for the first thing that the Doctor did, on entering the parlour and before sitting down, was to
return thanks for his safe restoration to his home and people.
The carriage was then unloaded, and as package, bale, box, and bundle were successively brought in, Miss
Mally Glencairn expressed her admiration at the great capacity of the chaise. "Ay," said Mrs. Pringle, "but
you know not what we have suffert for't in coming through among the English taverns on the road; some of
them would not take us forward when there was a hill to pass, unless we would take four horses, and every
one after another reviled us for having no mercy in loading the carriage like a waggon,and then the drivers
were so gleg and impudent, that it was worse than martyrdom to come with them. Had the Doctor taken my
advice, he would have brought our own civil London coachman, whom we hired with his own horses by the
job; but he said it behoved us to gi'e our ain fish guts to our ain seamaws, and that he designed to fee
Thomas Birlpenny's hostler for our coachman, being a lad of the parish. This obliged us to post it from
London; but, oh! Miss Mally, what an outlay it has been!"
The Doctor, in the meantime, had entered into conversation with the gentlemen, and was inquiring, in the
most particular manner, respecting all his parishioners, and expressing his surprise that Mr. Craig had not
been at the manse with the rest of the elders. "It does not look well," said the Doctor. Mr. Daff, however,
offered the best apology for his absence that could be made. "He has had a gentle dispensation, sirMrs.
Craig has won awa' out of this sinful world, poor woman, she had a large experience o't; but the bairns to the
fore, and Mrs. Glibbans, that has such a cast of grace, has ta'en charge of the house since before the
interment. It's thought, considering what's by gane, Mr. Craig may do waur than make her mistress, and I
hope, sir, your exhortation will no be wanting to egg the honest man to think o't seriously."
Mr. Snodgrass, before delivering the household keys, ordered two bottles of wine, with glasses and biscuit, to
be set upon the table, while Mrs. Pringle produced from a paper package, that had helped to stuff one of the
pockets of the carriage, a piece of rich plumcake, brought all the way from a confectioner's in Cockspur
Street, London, not only for the purpose of being eaten, but, as she said, to let Miss Nanny Eydent pree, in
order to direct the Irvine bakers how to bake others like it.
Tea was then brought in; and, as it was making, the Doctor talked aside to the elders, while Mrs. Pringle
recounted to Miss Mally and Miss Isabella the different incidents of her adventures subsequent to the
marriage of Miss Rachel.
"The young folk," said she, "having gone to Brighton, we followed them in a few days, for we were told it
was a curiosity, and that the king has a palace there, just a warld's wonder! and, truly, Miss Mally, it is
certainly not like a house for a creature of this world, but for some Grand Turk or Chinaman. The Doctor
said, it put him in mind of Miss Jenny Macbride's sideboard in the Stockwell of Glasgow; where all the
pepperboxes, poories, and teapots, punch bowls, and chinacandlesticks of her progenitors are set out for a
show, that tells her visitors, they are but seldom put to use. As for the town of Brighton, it's what I would call
a gawky piece of London. I could see nothing in it but a wheen idlers, hearing twa lads, at night, crying,
"Five, six, seven for a shilling," in the booksellers' shops, with a playactor lady singing in a corner, because
her voice would not do for the players' stage. Therefore, having seen the Captain and Mrs. Sabre off to
France, we came home to London; but it's not to be told what we had to pay at the hotel where we staid in
Brighton. Howsomever, having come back to London, we settled our counts,and, buying a few necessars,
we prepared for Scotland,and here we are. But travelling has surely a fine effect in enlarging the
understanding; for both the Doctor and me thought, as we came along, that everything had a smaller and
poorer look than when we went away; and I dinna think this room is just what it used to be. What think ye o't,
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Miss Isabella? How would ye like to spend your days in't?"
Miss Isabella reddened at this question; but Mrs. Pringle, who was as prudent as she was observant, affecting
not to notice this, turned round to Miss Mally Glencairn, and said softly in her ear, "Rachel was Bell's
confidante, and has told us all about what's going on between her and Mr. Snodgrass. We have agreed no to
stand in their way, as soon as the Doctor can get a mailing or two to secure his money upon."
Meantime, the Doctor received from the elders a very satisfactory account of all that had happened among his
people, both in and out of the Session, during his absence; and he was vastly pleased to find there had been
no inordinate increase of wickedness; at the same time, he was grieved for the condition in which the poor
weavers still continued, saying, that among other things of which he had been of late meditating, was the
setting up of a lending bank in the parish for the labouring classes, where, when they were out of work, "bits
of loans for a houserent, or a brat of claes, or sic like, might be granted, to be repaid when trade grew better,
and thereby take away the objection that an honest pride had to receiving help from the Session."
Then some lighter general conversation ensued, in which the Doctor gave his worthy counsellors a very
jocose description of many of the lesser sort of adventures which he had met with; and the ladies having
retired to inspect the great bargains that Mrs. Pringle had got, and the splendid additions she had made to her
wardrobe, out of what she denominated the dividends of the present portion of the legacy, the Doctor ordered
in the second biggest toddybowl, the guardevine with the old rum, and told the lassie to see if the tea kettle
was still boiling. "Ye maun drink our welcome hame," said he to the elders; "it would nae otherwise be
canny. But I'm sorry Mr. Craig has nae come." At these words the door opened, and the absent elder entered,
with a long face and a deep sigh. "Ha!" cried Mr. Daff, "this is very droll. Speak of the Evil One, and he'll
appear";which words dinted on the heart of Mr. Craig, who thought his marriage in December had been
the subject of their discourse. The Doctor, however, went up and shook him cordially by the hand, and said,
"Now I take this very kind, Mr. Craig; for I could not have expected you, considering ye have got, as I am
told, your jo in the house"; at which words the Doctor winked paukily to Mr. Daff, who rubbed his hands
with fainness, and gave a goodhumoured sort of keckling laugh. This facetious stroke of policy was a great
relief to the afflicted elder, for he saw by it that the Doctor did not mean to trouble him with any inquiries
respecting his deceased wife; and, in consequence, he put on a blither face, and really affected to have
forgotten her already more than he had done in sincerity.
Thus the night passed in decent temperance and a happy decorum; insomuch, that the elders when they went
away, either by the influence of the toddybowl, or the Doctor's funny stories about the Englishers, declared
that he was an excellent man, and, being none lifted up, was worthy of his rich legacy.
At supper, the party, besides the minister and Mrs. Pringle, consisted of the two Irvine ladies, and Mr.
Snodgrass. Miss Becky Glibbans came in when it was about half over, to express her mother's sorrow at not
being able to call that night, "Mr. Craig's bairn having taken an ill turn." The truth, however, was, that the
worthy elder had been rendered somewhat tozy by the minister's toddy, and wanted an opportunity to inform
the old lady of the joke that had been played upon him by the Doctor calling her his jo, and to see how she
would relish it. So by a little address Miss Becky was sent out of the way, with the excuse we have noticed; at
the same time, as the night was rather sharp, it is not to be supposed that she would have been the bearer of
any such message, had her own curiosity not enticed her.
During supper the conversation was very lively. Many "pickant jokes," as Miss Becky described them, were
cracked by the Doctor; but, soon after the table was cleared, he touched Mr. Snodgrass on the arm, and,
taking up one of the candles, went with him to his study, where he then told him, that Rachel Pringle, now
Mrs. Sabre, had informed him of a way in which he could do him a service. "I understand, sir," said the
Doctor, "that you have a notion of Miss Bell Tod, but that until ye get a kirk there can be no marriage. But the
auld horse may die waiting for the new grass; and, therefore, as the Lord has put it in my power to do a good
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action both to you and my people,whom I am glad to hear you have pleased so well,if it can be brought
about that you could be made helper and successor, I'll no object to give up to you the whole stipend, and, by
and by, maybe the manse to the bargain. But that is if you marry Miss Bell; for it was a promise that Rachel
gar't me make to her on her wedding morning. Ye know she was a forcasting lassie, and, I have reason to
believe, has said nothing anent this to Miss Bell herself; so that if you have no partiality for Miss Bell, things
will just rest on their own footing; but if you have a notion, it must be a satisfaction to you to know this, as it
will be a pleasure to me to carry it as soon as possible into effect."
Mr. Snodgrass was a good deal agitated; he was taken by surprise, and without words the Doctor might have
guessed his sentiments; he, however, frankly confessed that he did entertain a very high opinion of Miss Bell,
but that he was not sure if a country parish would exactly suit him. "Never mind that," said the Doctor; "if it
does not fit at first, you will get used to it; and if a better casts up, it will be no obstacle."
The two gentlemen then rejoined the ladies, and, after a short conversation, Miss Becky Glibbans was
admonished to depart, by the servants bringing in the Bibles for the worship of the evening. This was usually
performed before supper, but, owing to the bowl being on the table, and the company jocose, it had been
postponed till all the guests who were not to sleep in the house had departed.
The Sunday morning was fine and bright for the season; the hoarfrost, till about an hour after sunrise, lay
white on the grass and tombstones in the churchyard; but before the bell rung for the congregation to
assemble, it was exhaled away, and a freshness, that was only known to be autumnal by the fallen and yellow
leaves that strewed the churchway path from the ash and plane trees in the avenue, encouraged the spirits to
sympathise with the universal cheerfulness of all nature.
The return of the Doctor had been bruited through the parish with so much expedition, that, when the bell
rung for public worship, none of those who were in the practice of stopping in the churchyard to talk about
the weather were so ignorant as not to have heard of this important fact. In consequence, before the time at
which the Doctor was wont to come from the backgate which opened from the manse garden into the
churchyard, a great majority of his people were assembled to receive him.
At the last jingle of the bell, the backgate was usually opened, and the Doctor was wont to come forth as
punctually as a cuckoo of a clock at the striking of the hour; but a deviation was observed on this occasion.
Formerly, Mrs. Pringle and the rest of the family came first, and a few minutes were allowed to elapse before
the Doctor, laden with grace, made his appearance. But at this time, either because it had been settled that Mr.
Snodgrass was to officiate, or for some other reason, there was a breach in the observance of this
timehonoured custom.
As the ringing of the bell ceased, the gate unclosed, and the Doctor came forth. He was of that easy sort of
featherbed corpulency of form that betokens goodnature, and had none of that smooth, red, wellfilled
protuberancy, which indicates a choleric humour and a testy temper. He was in fact what Mrs. Glibbans
denominated "a man of a gausy external." And some little change had taken place during his absence in his
visible equipage. His stockings, which were wont to be of worsted, had undergone a translation into silk; his
waist coat, insteadof the venerable Presbyterian flapcovers to the pockets, which were of Johnsonian
magnitude, was become plainhis coat in all times singlebreasted, with no collar, still, however,
maintained its ancient characteristics; instead, however, of the former bright black cast horn, the buttons were
covered with cloth. But the chief alteration was discernible in the furniture of the head. He had exchanged the
simplicity of his own respectable grey hairs for the cauliflower hoariness of a PARRISH {3} wig, on which
he wore a broadbrimmed hat, turned up a little at each side behind, in a portentous manner, indicatory of
Episcopalian predilections. This, however, was not justified by any alteration in his principles, being merely
an innocent variation of fashion, the natural result of a Doctor of Divinity buying a hat and wig in London.
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The moment that the Doctor made his appearance, his greeting and salutation was quite delightful; it was that
of a father returned to his children, and a king to his people.
Almost immediately after the Doctor, Mrs. Pringle, followed by Miss Mally Glencairn and Miss Isabella Tod,
also debouched from the gate, and the assembled females remarked, with no less instinct, the transmutation
which she had undergone. She was dressed in a dark blue cloth pelisse, trimmed with a dyed fur, which, as
she told Miss Mally, "looked quite as well as sable, without costing a third of the money." A most matronly
muff, that, without being of sable, was of an excellent quality, contained her hands; and a very large Leghorn
straw bonnet, decorated richly, but far from excess, with a most substantial band and bow of a broad crimson
satin ribbon around her head.
If the Doctor was gratified to see his people so gladly thronging around him, Mrs. Pringle had no less
pleasure also in her thrice welcome reception. It was an understood thing, that she had been mainly
instrumental in enabling the minister to get his great Indian legacy; and in whatever estimation she may have
been previously held for her economy and management, she was now looked up to as a personage skilled in
the law, and particularly versed in testamentary erudition. Accordingly, in the customary testimonials of
homage with which she was saluted in her passage to the church door, there was evidently a sentiment of
veneration mingled, such as had never been evinced before, and which was neither unobserved nor
unappreciated by that acute and perspicacious lady.
The Doctor himself did not preach, but sat in the minister's pew till Mr. Snodgrass had concluded an eloquent
and truly an affecting sermon; at the end of which, the Doctor rose and went up into the pulpit, where he
publicly returned thanks for the favours and blessings he had obtained during his absence, and for the safety
in which he had been restored, after many dangers and tribulations, to the affections of his parishioners.
Such were the principal circumstances that marked the return of the family. In the course of the week after,
the estate of Moneypennies being for sale, it was bought for the Doctor as a great bargain. It was not,
however, on account of the advantageous nature of the purchase that our friend valued this acquisition, but
entirely because it was situated in his own parish, and part of the lands marching with the Glebe.
The previous owner of Moneypennies had built an elegant house on the estate, to which Mrs. Pringle is at
present actively preparing to remove from the manse; and it is understood, that, as Mr. Snodgrass was last
week declared helper, and successor to the Doctor, his marriage with Miss Isabella Tod will take place with
all convenient expedition. There is also reason to believe, that, as soon as decorum will permit, any scruple
which Mrs. Glibbans had to a second marriage is now removed, and that she will soon again grace the happy
circle of wives by the name of Mrs. Craig. Indeed, we are assured that Miss Nanny Eydent is actually at this
time employed in making up her wedding garments; for, last week, that worthy and respectable young person
was known to have visited Bailie Delap's shop, at a very early hour in the morning, and to have priced many
things of a bridal character, besides getting swatches; after which she was seen to go to Mrs. Glibbans's
house, where she remained a very considerable time, and to return straight therefrom to the shop, and
purchase divers of the articles which she had priced and inspected; all of which constitute sufficient grounds
for the general opinion in Irvine, that the union of Mr. Craig with Mrs. Glibbans is a happy event drawing
near to consummation.
Footnotes:
{1} The administration of the Sacrament.
{2} The honest Doctor's version of this bon mot of her majesty is not quite correct; her expression was, "I
mean to take a chop at the King's Head when I get to London."
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{3} See the Edinburgh Review, for an account of our old friend, Dr. Parr's wig, and Spital Sermon.
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Bookmarks
1. Table of Contents, page = 3
2. The Ayrshire Legatees, page = 4
3. John Galt, page = 4
4. CHAPTER I--THE DEPARTURE, page = 4
5. CHAPTER II--THE VOYAGE, page = 8
6. CHAPTER III--THE LEGACY, page = 11
7. CHAPTER IV--THE TOWN, page = 14
8. CHAPTER V--THE ROYAL FUNERAL, page = 22
9. CHAPTER VI--PHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION, page = 30
10. CHAPTER VII--DISCOVERIES AND REBELLIONS, page = 39
11. CHAPTER VIII--THE QUEEN'S TRIAL, page = 46
12. CHAPTER IX--THE MARRIAGE, page = 54
13. CHAPTER X--THE RETURN, page = 61