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THE BEDFORDROW CONSPIRACY ..........................................................................................................1

William Makepeace Thackeray...............................................................................................................1

I. Of the loves of Mr. Perkins and Miss Gorgon, and of the two great factions in the town of Oldborough.

A story of Charles de Bernard furnished the plot of "The BedfordRow Conspiracy."

"My dear John," cried Lucy, with a very wise look indeed, "it must and shall be so. As for Doughty Street,

with our means, a house is out of the question. We must keep three servants, and Aunt Biggs says the taxes

"I have seen a sweet place at Chelsea," remarked John: "Paradise Row, No. 17,gardengreenhousefifty

"What! that I may be left alone all day, and you spend a fortune in driving backward and forward in those

horrid breakneck cabs? My darling, I should die theredie of fright, I know I should. Did you not say

yourself that the road was not as yet lighted, and that the place swarmed with publichouses and dreadful

"My daarling," said John, with tremendous fondness, clutching Miss Lucy suddenly round the waist, and

rapping the hand of that young person violently against his waistcoat,"My daarling, don't say such things,

even in a joke. If I objected to the chambers, it is only because you, my love, with your birth and connections,

ought to have a house of your own. The chambers are quite large enough and certainly quite good enough for

me." And so, after some more sweet parley on the part of these young people, it was agreed that they should

take up their abode, when married, in a part of the House number One hundred and something, Bedford Row.

It will be necessary to explain to the reader that John was no other than John Perkins, Esquire, of the Middle

Temple, barristeratlaw, and that Miss Lucy was the daughter of the late Captain Gorgon, and Marianne

Biggs, his wife. The Captain being of noble connections, younger son of a baronet, cousin to Lord X,

and related to the Y family, had angered all his relatives by marrying a very silly pretty young woman,

who kept a ladies'school at Canterbury. She had six hundred pounds to her fortune, which the Captain laid

out in the purchase of a sweet travellingcarriage and dressingcase for himself; and going abroad with his

lady, spent several years in the principal prisons of Europe, in one of which he died. His wife and daughter

were meantime supported by the contributions of Mrs. Jemima Biggs, who still kept the ladies'school.

At last a dear old relativesuch a one as one reads of in romancesdied and left seven thousand pounds

apiece to the two sisters, whereupon the elder gave up schooling and retired to London; and the younger

managed to live with some comfort and decency at Brussels, upon two hundred and ten pounds per annum.

Mrs. Gorgon never touched a shilling of her capital, for the very good reason that it was placed entirely out of

her reach; so that when she died, her daughter found herself in possession of a sum of money that is not

Her aunt the baronet's lady, and her aunt the exschoolmistress, both wrote very pressing invitations to her,

and she resided with each for six months after her arrival in England. Now, for a second time, she had come

to Mrs. Biggs, Caroline Place, Mecklenburgh Square. It was under the roof of that respectable old lady that

Having thus described the circumstances of Miss Gorgon's life, let us pass for a moment from that young

lady, and lift up the veil of mystery which envelopes the deeds and character of Perkins.

Perkins, too, was an orphan; and he and his Lucy, of summer evenings, when Sol descending lingered fondly

yet about the minarets of the Foundling, and gilded the grassplots of Mecklenburgh SquarePerkins, I say,

and Lucy would often sit together in the summerhouse of that pleasureground, and muse upon the strange

coincidences of their life. Lucy was motherless and fatherless; so too was Perkins. If Perkins was brotherless

and sisterless, was not Lucy likewise an only child? Perkins was twentythree: his age and Lucy's united,

amounted to fortysix; and it was to be remarked, as a fact still more extraordinary, that while Lucy's

relatives were AUNTS, John's were UNCLES. Mysterious spirit of love! let us treat thee with respect and

whisper not too many of thy secrets. The fact is, John and Lucy were a pair of fools (as every young couple

OUGHT to be who have hearts that are worth a farthing), and were ready to find coincidences, sympathies,

hidden gushes of feeling, mystic unions of the soul, and what not, in every single circumstance that occurred

from the rising of the sun to the going down thereof, and in the intervals. Bedford Row, where Perkins lived,

is not very far from Mecklenburgh Square; and John used to say that he felt a comfort that his house and

Further comment is needless. A more honest, simple, clever, warmhearted, soft, whimsical, romantical,

highspirited young fellow than John Perkins did not exist. When his father, Doctor Perkins, died, this, his

only son, was placed under the care of John Perkins, Esquire, of the house of Perkins, Scully, and Perkins,

those celebrated attorneys in the trading town of Oldborough, which the second partner, William Pitt Scully,

All John's fortune was the house in Bedford Row, which, at his father's death, was let out into chambers, and

brought in a clear hundred a year. Under his uncle's roof at Oldborough, where he lived with thirteen

redhaired male and female cousins, he was only charged fifty pounds for board, clothes, and pocketmoney,

and the remainder of his rents was carefully put by for him until his majority. When he approached that

periodwhen he came to belong to two spoutingclubs at Oldborough, among the young merchants and

lawyers'clerksto blow the flute nicely, and play a good game at billiardsto have written one or two

smart things in the Oldborough Sentinelto be fond of smoking (in which act he was discovered by his

fainting aunt at three o'clock one morning)in one word, when John Perkins arrived at manhood, he

discovered that he was quite unfit to be an attorney, that he detested all the ways of his uncle's stern, dull,

vulgar, regular, redheaded family, and he vowed that he would go to London and make his fortune. Thither

he went, his aunt and cousins, who were all "serious," vowing that he was a lost boy; and when his history

opens, John had been two years in the metropolis, inhabiting his own garrets; and a very nice compact set of

apartments, looking into the backgarden, at this moment falling vacant, the prudent Lucy Gorgon had

visited them, and vowed that she and her John should there commence housekeeping.

All these explanations are tedious, but necessary; and furthermore, it must be said, that as John's uncle's

partner was the Liberal member for Oldborough, so Lucy's uncle was its Ministerial representative.

This gentleman, the brother of the deceased Captain Gorgon, lived at the paternal mansion of Gorgon Castle,

He, too, like his younger brother, had married a lady beneath his own rank in life; having espoused the

daughter and heiress of Mr. Hicks, the great brewer at Oldborough, who held numerous mortgages on the

Gorgon property, all of which he yielded up, together with his daughter Juliana, to the care of the baronet.

What Lady Gorgon was in character, this history will show. In person, if she may be compared to any vulgar

animal, one of her father's heavy, healthy, broadflanked, Romannosed white drayhorses might, to the

poetic mind, appear to resemble her. At twenty she was a splendid creature, and though not at her full growth,

yet remarkable for strength and sinew; at fortyfive she was as fine a woman as any in His Majesty's

dominions. Five feet seven in height, thirteen stone, her own teeth and hair, she looked as if she were the

mother of a regiment of Grenadier Guards. She had three daughters of her own size, and at length, ten years

after the birth of the last of the young ladies, a sonone sonGeorge Augustus Frederick Grimsby Gorgon,

the godson of a royal duke, whose steady officer in waiting Sir George had been for many years.

It is needless to say, after entering so largely into a description of Lady Gorgon, that her husband was a little

shrivelled wizenfaced creature, eight inches shorter than her Ladyship. This is the way of the world, as

every single reader of this book must have remarked; for frolic love delights to join giants and pigmies of

different sexes in the bonds of matrimony. When you saw her Ladyship in flamecoloured satin and

gorgeous toque and feathers, entering the drawingroom, as footmen along the stairs shouted melodiously,

"Sir George and Lady Gorgon," you beheld in her company a small withered old gentleman, with powder and

large royal household buttons, who tripped at her elbow as a little weaklegged colt does at the side of a stout

The little General had been present at about a hundred and twenty pitched battles on Hounslow Heath and

Wormwood Scrubs, but had never drawn his sword against an enemy. As might be expected, therefore, his

talk and tenue were outrageously military. He had the whole Army List by heartthat is, as far as the

fieldofficers: all below them he scorned. A bugle at Gorgon Castle always sounded at breakfast, and dinner:

a gun announced sunset. He clung to his pigtail for many years after the army had forsaken that ornament,

and could never be brought to think much of the Peninsular men for giving it up. When he spoke of the Duke,

he used to call him "MY LORD WELLINGTONI RECOLLECT HIM AS CAPTAIN WELLESLEY." He

swore fearfully in conversation, was most regular at church, and regularly read to his family and domestics

the morning and evening prayer; he bullied his daughters, seemed to bully his wife, who led him whither she

chose; gave grand entertainments, and never asked a friend by chance; had splendid liveries, and starved his

people; and was as dull, stingy, pompous, insolent, cringing, illtempered a little creature as ever was known.

With such qualities you may fancy that he was generally admired in society and by his country. So he was:

and I never knew a man so endowed whose way through life was not safewho had fewer pangs of

consciencemore positive enjoymentsmore respect shown to himmore favours granted to him, than

Her Ladyship was just suited to him, and they did in reality admire each other hugely. Previously to her

marriage with the baronet, many lovepassages had passed between her and William Pitt Scully, Esquire, the

attorney; and there was especially one story, a propos of certain syllabubs and SallyLunn cakes, which

seemed to show that matters had gone very far. Be this as it may, no sooner did the General (Major Gorgon

he was then) cast an eye on her, than Scully's five years' fabric of love was instantly dashed to the ground.

She cut him pitilessly, cut Sally Scully, his sister, her dearest friend and confidante, and bestowed her big

person upon the little aidedecamp at the end of a fortnight's wooing. In the course of time their mutual

fathers died; the Gorgon estates were unencumbered: patron of both the seats in the borough of Oldborough,

and occupant of one, Sir George Grimsby Gorgon, Baronet, was a personage of no small importance.

He was, it scarcely need to be said, a Tory; and this was the reason why William Pitt Scully, Esquire, of the

firm of Perkins and Scully, deserted those principles in which he had been bred and christened; deserted that

church which he had frequented, for he could not bear to see Sir George and my Lady flaunting in their grand

pew;deserted, I say, the church, adopted the conventicle, and became one of the most zealous and eloquent

supporters that Freedom has known in our time. Scully, of the house of Scully and Perkins, was a dangerous

enemy. In five years from that marriage, which snatched from the jilted solicitor his heart's young affections,

Sir George Gorgon found that he must actually spend seven hundred pounds to keep his two seats. At the

next election, a Liberal was set up against his man, and actually ran him hard; and finally, at the end of

eighteen years, the rejected Scullythe mean attorneywas actually the FIRST Member for Oldborough,

The agony of that day cannot be imaginedthe dreadful curses of Sir George, who saw fifteen hundred a

year robbed from under his very nosethe religious resignation of my Ladythe hideous

windowsmashing that took place at the "Gorgon Arms," and the discomfiture of the pelted Mayor and

Corporation. The very next Sunday, Scully was reconciled to the church (or attended it in the morning, and

the meeting twice in the afternoon), and as Doctor Snorter uttered the prayer for the High Court of

Parliament, his eye, the eye of his whole partyturned towards Lady Gorgon and Sir George in a most

unholy triumph. Sir George (who always stood during prayers, like a military man) fairly sank down among

the hassocks, and Lady Gorgon was heard to sob as audibly as ever did little beadlebelaboured urchin.

Scully, when at Oldborough, came from that day forth to church. "What," said he, "was it to him? were we

not all brethren?" Old Perkins, however, kept religiously to the Squaretoes congregation. In fact, to tell the

truth, this subject had been debated between the partners, who saw the advantage of courting both the

Establishment and the Dissentersa manoeuvre which, I need not say, is repeated in almost every country

town in England, where a solicitor's house has this kind of power and connection.

Three months after this election came the races at Oldborough, and the raceball. Gorgon was so infuriated

by his defeat, that he gave "the Gorgon cup and cover," a matter of fifteen pounds. Scully, "although

anxious," as he wrote from town, "anxious beyond measure to preserve the breed of horses for which our

beloved country has ever been famous, could attend no such sports as these, which but too often degenerated

into vice." It was voted a shabby excuse. Lady Gorgon was radiant in her barouche and four, and gladly

became the patroness of the ball that was to ensue; and which all the gentry and townspeople, Tory and Whig,

were in the custom of attending. The ball took place on the last day of the races. On that day, the walls of the

markethouse, the principal public buildings, and the "Gorgon Arms Hotel" itself, were plastered with the

"Letter from our distinguished representative, William P. Scully, Esquire, etc., etc.

"MY DEAR HEELTAP,You know my opinion about horseracing, and though I blame neither you nor any

brother Englishman who enjoys that manly sport, you will, I am sure, appreciate the conscientious motives

which induce me not to appear among my friends and constituents on the festival of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th

instant. If _I_, however, cannot allow my name to appear among your list of stewards, ONE at least of the

representatives of Oldborough has no such scruples. Sir George Gorgon is among you: and though I differ

from that honourable Baronet on more than ONE VITAL POINT, I am glad to think that he is with you. A

gentleman, a soldier, a man of property in the county, how can he be better employed than in forwarding the

"Had I no such scruples as those to which I have just alluded, I must still have refrained from coming among

you. Your great Oldborough commondrainage and inclosure bill comes on tomorrow, and I shall be AT

MY POST. I am sure, if Sir George Gorgon were here, he and I should on this occasion vote side by side, and

that party strife would be forgotten in the object of our common interestOUR DEAR NATIVE TOWN.

"There is, however, another occasion at hand, in which I shall be proud to meet him. Your ball is on the night

of the 6th. Party forgottenbrotherly unioninnocent mirthbeauty, OUR DEAR TOWN'S BEAUTY,

our daughters in the joy of their expanding loveliness, our matrons in the exquisite contemplation of their

children's bliss can you, can I, can Whig or Tory, can any Briton be indifferent to a scene like this, or

refuse to join in this heartstirring festival? If there BE such let them pardon meI, for one, my dear

Heeltap, will be among you on Friday nightay, and hereby invite all pretty Tory Misses, who are in want

"I am here in the very midst of good things, you know, and we old folks like A SUPPER after a dance. Please

to accept a brace of bucks and a turtle, which come herewith. My worthy colleague, who was so liberal last

year of his soup to the poor, will not, I trust, refuse to taste a little of Alderman Birch's'tis offered on my

"P.S.Of course this letter is STRICTLY PRIVATE. Say that the venison, etc. came from a

This amazing letter was published, in defiance of Mr. Scully's injunctions, by the enthusiastic Heeltap, who

said, bluntly, in a preface, "that he saw no reason why Mr. Scully should be ashamed of his action, and he, for

The allusion about the Gorgon soup was killing: thirteen paupers in Oldborough had, it was confidently

asserted, died of it. Lady Gorgon, on the reading of this letter, was struck completely dumb; Sir George

Gorgon was wild. Ten dozen of champagne was he obliged to send down to the "Gorgon Arms," to be added

At nine o'clock, he in general's uniform; his wife in blue satin and diamonds; his daughters in blue crape and

white roses; his niece, Lucy Gorgon, in white muslin; his son, George Augustus Frederick Grimsby Gorgon,

in a blue velvet jacket, sugarloaf buttons, and nankeens, entered the north door of the ballroom, to much

At that very same moment, and from the south door, issued William Pitt Scully, Esquire, M.P., and his staff.

Mr. Scully had a brandnew blue coat and brass buttons, buff waistcoat, white kerseymere tights, pumps with

"This wool," said he to a friend, "was grown on Oldborough sheep, this cloth was spun in Oldborough looms,

these buttons were cast in an Oldborough manufactory, these shoes were made by an Oldborough tradesman,

Could anything resist a man like this? John Perkins, who had come down as one of Scully's aidesdecamp,

in a fit of generous enthusiasm, leaped on a whisttable, flung up a pockethandkerchief, and

Heeltap, who was generally drunk, fairly burst into tears, and the grave tradesmen and Whig gentry, who had

dined with the Member at his inn, and accompanied him thence to the "Gorgon Arms," lifted their deep

voices and shouted "Hear!" "Good!" "Bravo!" "Noble!" "Scully for ever!" "God bless him!" and "Hurrah!"

The scene was tumultuously affecting; and when young Perkins sprang down from the table and came

blushing up to the Member, that gentleman said, "Thank you, Jack! THANK you, my boy! THANK you," in

a way which made Perkins think that his supreme cup of bliss was quaffed; that he had but to die: for that life

had no other such joy in store for him. Scully was Perkins's Napoleonhe yielded himself up to the attorney,

Whilst this scene was going on under one chandelier of the ballroom, beneath the other scarlet little General

Gorgon, sumptuous Lady Gorgon, the daughters and niece Gorgons, were standing surrounded by their Tory

court, who affected to sneer and titter at the Whig demonstrations which were taking place.

"What a howwid thmell of whithkey!" lisped Cornet Fitch, of the Dragoons, to Miss Lucy, confidentially.

"WHICH is Scully?" said Lady Gorgon, lifting her glass gravely (she was at that very moment thinking of the

syllabubs). "Is it that tipsy man in the green coat, or that vulgar creature in the blue one?"

"Law, my Lady," said the Mayoress, "have you forgotten him? Why, that's him in blue and buff."

"And a monthous fine man, too," said Cornet Fitch. "I wish we had him in our twoophe'th thix feet thwee,

"And heavens! Mamma," shrieked the three Gorgons in a breath, "see, one creature is on the whisttable. Oh,

Lady Gorgon darted at her an angry look, and was about to say something very contemptuous, when, at that

instant, John Perkins's shout taking effect, Master George Augustus Frederick Grimsby Gorgon, not knowing

"Hear! good! bravo!" exclaimed he; "Scully for ever! Hurraaaay!" and fell skipping about like the Whigs

"Silence, you brute you!" groaned Lady Gorgon; and seizing him by the shirtfrill and coatcollar, carried

him away to his nurse, who, with many other maids of the Whig and Tory parties, stood giggling and peeping

Fancy how all these small incidents augmented the heap of Lady Gorgon's anger and injuries! She was a dull

phlegmatic woman for the most part, and contented herself generally with merely despising her neighbours;

but oh! what a fine active hatred raged in her bosom for victorious Scully! At this moment Mr. Perkins had

finished shaking hands with his NapoleonNapoleon seemed bent upon some tremendous enterprise. He

"She's a fine woman," said Scully, thoughtfully; he was still holding the hand of Perkins. And then, after a

"She's a DEUCED fine woman!" burst out again the tender solicitor. "I WILL go. Springer, tell the fiddlers to

Springer scuttled across the room, and gave the leader of the band a knowing nod. Suddenly, "God save the

King" ceased, and "Sir Roger de Coverley" began. The rival forces eyed each other; Mr. Scully, accompanied

by his friend, came forward, looking very red, and fumbling two large kid gloves.

"HE'S GOING TO ASK ME TO DANCE," hissed out Lady Gorgon, with a dreadful intuition, and she drew

"D it, madam, THEN DANCE with him!" said the General. "Don't you see that the scoundrel is carrying

it all his own way! him! and him! and him!" (All of which dashes the reader may fill

"Madam!" exclaimed the Liberal Member for Oldborough, "in a moment like thisI saythat isthat on

the present occasionyour Ladyshipunaccustomed as I ampooh, pshaWILL your Ladyship give me

the distinguished honour and pleasure of going down the countrydance with your Ladyship?"

An immense heave of her Ladyship's ample chest was perceptible. Yards of blond lace, which might be

compared to a foam of the sea, were agitated at the same moment, and by the same mighty emotion. The river

of diamonds which flowed round her Ladyship's neck, seemed to swell and to shine more than ever. The tall

plumes on her ambrosial head bowed down beneath the storm. In other words, Lady Gorgon, in a furious

rage, which she was compelled to restrain, trembled, drew up, and bowing majestically, said,

"Sir, I shall have much pleasure." With this, she extended her hand. Scully, trembling, thrust forward one of

his huge kidgloves, and led her to the head of the countrydance. John Perkinswho I presume had been

drinking pretty freely, so as to have forgotten his ordinary bashfulnesslooked at the three Gorgons in blue,

then at the pretty smiling one in white, and stepping up to her, without the smallest hesitation, asked her if

The young lady smilingly agreed. The great example of Scully and Lady Gorgon was followed by all dancing

men and women. Political enmities were forgotten. Whig voters invited Tory voters' wives to the dance. The

daughters of Reform accepted the hands of the sons of Conservatism. The reconciliation of the Romans and

Sabines was not more touching than this sweet fusion. Whackwhack! Springer clapped his hands; and the

fiddlers adroitly obeying the cheerful signal, began playing "Sir Roger de Coverley" louder than ever.

I do not know by what extraordinary charm (nescio qua praeter solitum, etc.), but young Perkins, who all his

life had hated countrydances, was delighted with this one, and skipped and laughed, poussetting, crossing,

downthemiddling, with his merry little partner, till every one of the bettermost sort of the thirtynine

couples had dropped panting away, and till the youngest Miss Gorgon, coming up to his partner, said in a

loud hissing scornful whisper, "Lucy, Mamma thinks you have danced quite enough with thisthis person."

And Lucy, blushing, starting back, and looking at Perkins in a very melancholy way, made him a little

curtsey, and went off to the Gorgonian party with her cousin. Perkins was too frightened to lead her back to

her placetoo frightened at first, and then too angry. "Person!" said he: his soul swelled with a desperate

He found that gentleman in the solitary tearoom, pacing up and down before the observant landlady and

handmaidens of the "Gorgon Arms," wiping his brows, gnawing his fingershis ears looming over his stiff

white shirtcollar as red as fire. Once more the great man seized John Perkins's hand as the latter came up.

"What's the matter?Why, that womanthat infernal, haughty, straitlaced, coldblooded brewer's

daughter! I loved that woman, sirI KISSED that woman, sir, twenty years ago: we were all but engaged,

sir: we've walked for hours and hours, sirus and the governessI've got a lock of her hair, sir, among my

papers now; and tonight, would you believe it?as soon as she got to the bottom of the set, away she

wentnot one word would she speak to me all the way down: and when I wanted to lead her to her place,

and asked her if she would have a glass of negus, 'Sir,' says she, 'I have done my duty; I bear no malice: but I

consider you a traitor to Sir George Gorgon's familya traitor and an upstart! I consider your speaking to me

as a piece of insolent vulgarity, and beg you will leave me to myself!' There's her speech, sir. Twenty people

heard it, and all of her Tory set too. I'll tell you what, Jack: at the next election I'll put YOU up. Oh that

woman! that woman! and to think that I love her still!" Here Mr. Scully paused, and fiercely consoled

The fact is, that Lady Gorgon's passion had completely got the better of her reason. Her Ladyship was

naturally cold, and artificially extremely squeamish; and when this great redfaced enemy of hers looked

tenderly at her through his red little eyes, and squeezed her hand and attempted to renew old acquaintance,

she felt such an intolerable disgust at his triumph, at his familiarity, and at the remembrance of her own

former liking for him, that she gave utterance to the speech above correctly reported. The Tories were

delighted with her spirit, and Cornet Fitch, with much glee, told the story to the General; but that officer, who

was at whist with some of his friends, flung down his cards, and coming up to his lady, said briefly,

"I will NOT stay here to be bearded by that disgusting man!Mr. Fitch, call my people.Henrietta, bring

Miss Lucy from that linendraper with whom she is dancing. I will not stay, General, once for all."

Henrietta ranshe hated her cousin: Cornet Fitch was departing. "Stop, Fitch," said Sir George, seizing him

by the arm. "You are a fool, Lady Gorgon," said he, "and I repeat ita fool! This fellow Scully is

carrying all before him: he has talked with everybody, laughed with everybodyand you, with your infernal

airsa brewer's daughter, by , must sit like a queen and not speak to a soul! You've lost me one seat

of my borough, with your infernal pridefifteen hundred a year, by Jove!and you think you will bully me

out of another. No, madam, you SHALL stay, and stay supper too;and the girls shall dance with every

Her Ladyship saw that it was necessary to submit; and Mr. Springer, the master of the ceremonies, was

called, and requested to point out some eligible partners for the young ladies. One went off with a Whig

auctioneer; another figured in a quadrille with a very Liberal apothecary; and the third, Miss Henrietta,

"Hallo you, sir!" roared the little General to John Perkins, who was passing by. John turned round and faced

"You were dancing with my niece just nowshow us your skill now, and dance with one of my daughters.

"My name," said John, with marked and majestic emphasis, "is PERKINS." And he looked towards Lucy,

"Mr. Perkins regrets, madam," said John, making a bow to Miss Henrietta, "that he is not able to dance this

evening. I am this moment obliged to look to the supper; but you will find, no doubt, some other PERSON

"Calm yourself, dearest George," said Lady Gorgon, clinging fondly to him. Fitch twiddled his moustaches.

Miss Henrietta Gorgon stared with open mouth. The silks of the surrounding dowagers rustledthe

"I will follow you, sir, wherever you please; and you may hear of me whenever you like," said Mr. Perkins,

bowing and retiring. He heard little Lucy sobbing in a corner. He was lost at oncelost in love; he felt as if

The supper came; but as that meal cost five shillings a head, General Gorgon dismissed the four spinsters of

his family homewards in the carriage, and so saved himself a pound. This added to Jack Perkins's wrath; he

had hoped to have seen Miss Lucy once more. He was a steward, and, in the General's teeth, would have done

his duty. He was thinking how he would have helped her to the most delicate chickenwings and

blancmanges, how he WOULD have made her take champagne. Under the noses of indignant aunt and uncle,

Out of place as Mr. Scully's present was, and though Lady Gorgon and her party sneered at the vulgar notion

of venison and turtle for supper, all the world at Oldborough ate very greedily of those two substantial dishes;

and the Mayor's wife became from that day forth a mortal enemy of the Gorgons: for, sitting near her

Ladyship, who refused the proffered soup and meat, the Mayoress thought herself obliged to follow this

disagreeable example. She sent away the plate of turtle with a sigh, saying, however, to the baronet's lady, "I

"And what if he didn't, Biddy?" said his Honour the Mayor; "a good thing's a good thing, and here goes!"

wherewith he plunged his spoon into the savoury mess. The Mayoress, as we have said, dared not; but she

The pride, in fact, and insolence of the Gorgon party rendered every person in the room hostile to them; so

soon as, gorged with meat, they began to find that courage which Britons invariably derive from their

victuals. The show of the Gorgon plate seemed to offend the people. The Gorgon champagne was a long

time, too, in making its appearance. Arrive, however, it did. The people were waiting for it; the young ladies,

not accustomed to that drink, declined pledging their admirers until it was produced; the men, too, despised

the bucellas and sherry, and were looking continually towards the door. At last, Mr. Rincer, the landlord, Mr.

Hock, Sir George's butler, and sundry others entered the room. Bang! went the corksfizz the foamy liquor

sparkled into all sorts of glasses that were held out for its reception. Mr. Hock helped Sir George and his

party, who drank with great gusto; the wine which was administered to the persons immediately around Mr.

Scully was likewise pronounced to be good. But Mr. Perkins, who had taken his seat among the humbler

individuals, and in the very middle of the table, observed that all these persons, after drinking, made to each

other very wry and ominous faces, and whispered much. He tasted his wine: it was a villanous compound of

sugar, vitriol, sodawater, and green gooseberries. At this moment a great clatter of forks was made by the

"Landlord," said Mr. Perkins, starting up (the rogue, where did his impudence come from?) "have you any

"Silence! down!" roared the Tories, the ladies looking aghast. "Silence, sit down you!" shrieked the

"I beg your pardon, General," said young John Perkins; "but where COULD you have bought this

champagne? My worthy friend I know is going to propose the ladies; let us at any rate drink such a toast in

good wine." ("Hear, hear!") "Drink her Ladyship's health in THIS stuff? I declare to goodness I would sooner

No pen can describe the uproar which arose: the anguish of the Gorgonitesthe shrieks, jeers, cheers, ironic

cries of "Swipes!" etc., which proceeded from the less genteel but more enthusiastic Scullyites.

"This vulgarity is too much," said Lady Gorgon, rising; and Mrs. Mayoress and the ladies of the party did so

The General, two squires, the clergyman, the Gorgon apothecary and attorney, with their respective ladies,

followed her: they were plainly beaten from the field. Such of the Tories as dared remained, and in inglorious

"Gentlemen and ladies," hiccupped Mr. Heeltap, "I'll give you a toast. 'Champagne to our

realhicfriends,' no, 'Real champagne to our friends,' andhicpooh! 'Champagne to our friends, and

The Scully faction on this day bore the victory away, and if the polite reader has been shocked by certain

vulgarities on the part of Mr. Scully and his friends, he must remember imprimis that Oldborough was an

inconsiderable placethat the inhabitants thereof were chiefly tradespeople, not of refined habitsthat Mr.

Scully himself had only for three months mingled among the aristocracy that his young friend Perkins was

violently angryand finally, and to conclude, that the proud vulgarity of the great Sir George Gorgon and

his family was infinitely more odious and contemptible than the mean vulgarity of the Scullyites and their

Immediately after this event, Mr. Scully and his young friend Perkins returned to town; the latter to his

garrets in Bedford Row the former to his apartments on the first floor of the same house. He lived here to

superintend his legal business: his London agents, Messrs. Higgs, Biggs, and Blatherwick, occupying the

ground floor; the junior partner, Mr. Gustavus Blatherwick, the second flat of the house. Scully made no

secret of his profession or residence: he was an attorney, and proud of it; he was the grandson of a labourer,

and thanked God for it; he had made his fortune by his own honest labour, and why should he be ashamed of

And now, having explained at full length who the several heroes and heroines of this history were, and how

they conducted themselves in the country, let us describe their behaviour in London, and the great events

You must know that Mr. Perkins bore away the tenderest recollections of the young lady with whom he had

danced at the Oldborough ball, and, having taken particular care to find out where she dwelt when in the

metropolis, managed soon to become acquainted with Aunt Biggs, and made himself so amiable to that lady,

that she begged he would pass all his disengaged evenings at her lodgings in Caroline Place. Mrs. Biggs was

perfectly aware that the young gentleman did not come for her bohea and muffins, so much as for the sweeter

conversation of her niece, Miss Gorgon; but seeing that these two young people were of an age when ideas of

love and marriage will spring up, do what you will; seeing that her niece had a fortune, and Mr. Perkins had

the prospect of a place, and was moreover a very amiable and welldisposed young fellow, she thought her

niece could not do better than marry him; and Miss Gorgon thought so too. Now the public will be able to

understand the meaning of that important conversation which is recorded at the very commencement of this

Lady Gorgon and her family were likewise in town; but, when in the metropolis, they never took notice of

their relative, Miss Lucy: the idea of acknowledging an exschoolmistress living in Mecklenburgh Square

being much too preposterous for a person of my Lady Gorgon's breeding and fashion. She did not, therefore,

know of the progress which sly Perkins was making all this while; for Lucy Gorgon did not think it was at all

necessary to inform her Ladyship how deeply she was smitten by the wicked young gentleman who had made

The intimacy of these young persons had, in fact, become so close, that on a certain sunshiny Sunday in

December, after having accompanied Aunt Biggs to church, they had pursued their walk as far as that

rendezvous of lovers, the Regent's Park, and were talking of their coming marriage, with much confidential

Miss Lucy was ever and anon feeding those interesting animals with buns, to perform which act of charity

she had clambered up on the parapet which surrounds their den. Mr. Perkins was below; and Miss Lucy,

having distributed her buns, was on the point of following,but whether from timidity, or whether from a

desire to do young Perkins an essential service, I know not: however, she found herself quite unwilling to

Whereupon John stepped up, put one hand round Lucy's waist; and as one of hers gently fell upon his

Hoop! jump she did, and so excessively active and clever was Mr. John Perkins, that he jumped Miss Lucy

And a footman, poodle, and French governess: who had all been for two or three minutes listening to the

"I'm hanged if it arn't Lucy! How do, Lucy?" uttered Lady, the Misses, and Master Gorgon in a breath.

Lucy came forward, bending down her ambrosial curls, and blushing, as a modest young woman should: for,

in truth, the scrape was very awkward. And as for John Perkins, he made a start, and then a step forwards,

and then two backwards, and then began laying hands upon his black satin stockin short, the sun did not

"Miss Lucy Gorgon, is your auntis Mrs. Briggs here?" said Lady Gorgon, drawing herself up with much

"Biggs or Briggs, madam, it is not of the slightest consequence. I presume that persons in my rank of life are

not expected to know everybody's name in Magdeburg Square?" (Lady Gorgon had a house in Baker Street,

and a dismal house it was.) "NOT here," continued she, rightly interpreting Lucy's silence, "NOT here?and

may I ask how long is it that young ladies have been allowed to walk abroad without chaperons, and toto

To this questionand indeed it was rather difficult to answerMiss Gorgon had no reply. There were the

six grey eyes of her cousins glowering at her; there was George Augustus Frederick examining her with an

air of extreme wonder, Mademoiselle the governess turning her looks demurely away, and awful Lady

Gorgon glancing fiercely at her in front. Not mentioning the footman and poodle, what could a poor modest

timid girl plead before such an inquisition, especially when she was clearly guilty? Add to this, that as Lady

Gorgon, that majestic woman, always remarkable for her size and insolence of demeanour, had planted

herself in the middle of the path, and spoke at the extreme pitch of her voice, many persons walking in the

neighbourhood had heard her Ladyship's speech and stopped, and seemed disposed to await the rejoinder.

"For Heaven's sake, Aunt, don't draw a crowd around us," said Lucy, who, indeed, was glad of the only

escape that lay in her power. "I will tell you of theof the circumstances ofof my engagement with this

gentlemanwith Mr. Perkins," added she, in a softer toneso soft that the 'ERKINS was quite inaudible.

"A Mr. What? An engagement without consulting your guardians!" screamed her Ladyship. "This must be

looked to! Jerningham, call round my carriage. Mademoiselle, you will have the goodness to walk home with

Master Gorgon, and carry him, if you please, where there is wet; and, girls, as the day is fine, you will do

likewise. Jerningham, you will attend the young ladies. Miss Gorgon, I will thank you to follow me

immediately." And so saying, and looking at the crowd with ineffable scorn, and at Mr. Perkins not at all, the

lady bustled away forwards, the files of Gorgon daughters and governess closing round and enveloping poor

Lucy, who found herself carried forward against her will, and in a minute seated in her aunt's coach, along

Her case was bad enough, but what was it to Perkins's? Fancy his blank surprise and rage at having his love

thus suddenly ravished from him, and his delicious teteatete interrupted. He managed, in an inconceivably

short space of time, to conjure up halfamillion obstacles to his union. What should he do? he would rush

He could find no vehicle in the Regent's Park, and was in consequence obliged to make his journey on foot.

Of course, he nearly killed himself with running, and ran so quick, that he was just in time to see the two

ladies step out of Lady Gorgon's carriage at her own house, and to hear Jerningham's fellowfootman roar to

the Gorgonian coachman, "Halfpast seven!" at which hour we are, to this day, convinced that Lady Gorgon

was going out to dine. Mr. Jerningham's associate having banged to the door, with an insolent look towards

Perkins, who was prying in with the most suspicious and indecent curiosity, retired, exclaiming, "That chap

has a hi to our greatcoats, I reckon!" and left John Perkins to pace the street and be miserable.

John Perkins then walked resolutely up and down dismal Baker Street, determined on an eclaircissement. He

was for some time occupied in thinking how it was that the Gorgons were not at church, they who made such

a parade of piety; and John Perkins smiled as he passed the chapel, and saw that two CHARITY SERMONS

were to be preached that dayand therefore it was that General Gorgon read prayers to his family at home in

Perkins, at last, saw that little General, in blue frockcoat and spotless buff gloves, saunter scowling home;

and half an hour before his arrival had witnessed the entrance of Jerningham, and the three gaunt Miss

Gorgons, poodle, sonandheir, and French governess, protected by him, into Sir George's mansion.

"Can she be going to stay all night?" mused poor John, after being on the watch for three hours: when

presently, to his inexpressible delight, he saw a very dirty hackneycoach clatter up to the Gorgon door, out

of which first issued the ruby plush breeches and stalwart calves of Mr. Jerningham; these were followed by

Again the door opened: a lady came out, nor was she followed by the footman, who crossed his legs at the

doorpost and allowed her to mount the jingling vehicle as best she might. Mr. Jerningham had witnessed the

scene in the Park Gardens, had listened to the altercation through the library keyhole, and had been mighty

sulky at being ordered to call a coach for this young woman. He did not therefore deign to assist her to

But there was ONE who did! Perkins was by the side of his Lucy: he had seen her start back and cry, "La,

John!"had felt her squeeze his armhad mounted with her into the coach, and then shouted with a voice

But Mr. Jerningham would have been much more surprised and puzzled if he had waited one minute longer,

and seen this Mr. Perkins, who had so gallantly escaladed the hackneycoach, step out of it with the most

The fact is, he had found poor Lucy sobbing fit to break her heart, and instead of consoling her, as he

expected, he only seemed to irritate her further: for she said, "Mr. PerkinsI begI insist, that you leave

the carriage." And when Perkins made some movement (which, not being in the vehicle at the time, we have

never been able to comprehend), she suddenly sprang from the backseat and began pulling at a large piece

of cord which communicated with the wrist of the gentleman driving; and, screaming to him at the top of her

Perkins descended, and on being asked, "Vere ham I to drive the young 'oman, sir?" I am sorry to say

muttered something like an oath, and uttered the abovementioned words, "Caroline Place, Mecklenburgh

Square," in a tone which I should be inclined to describe as both dogged and sheepishvery different from

Poor Lucy, in the course of those fatal three hours which had passed while Mr. Perkins was pacing up and

down Baker Street, had received a lecture which lasted exactly one hundred and eighty minutesfrom her

aunt first, then from her uncle, whom we have seen marching homewards, and often from both together.

Sir George Gorgon and his lady poured out such a flood of advice and abuse against the poor girl, that she

came away from the interview quite timid and cowering; and when she saw John Perkins (the sly rogue! how

well he thought he had managed the trick!) she shrank from him as if he had been a demon of wickedness,

ordered him out of the carriage, and went home by herself, convinced that she had committed some

While, then, her coach jingled away to Caroline Place, Perkins, once more alone, bent his steps in the same

direction. A desperate, heartstricken man, he passed by the beloved's door, saw lights in the front

drawingroom, felt probably that she was there; but he could not go in. Moodily he paced down Doughty

Street, and turning abruptly into Bedford Row, rushed into his own chambers, where Mrs. Snooks, the

A cheerful fire blazed in his garret, and Mrs. Snooks had prepared for him the favourite bladebone he loved

(blest fourdays' dinner for a bachelorroast, cold, hashed, grilled bladebone, the fourth being better than

the first); but although he usually did rejoice in this mealordinarily, indeed, grumbling that there was not

enough to satisfy himhe, on this occasion, after two mouthfuls, flung down his knife and fork, and buried

"Snooks," said he at last, very moodily, "remove this d mutton, give me my writing things, and some

This was done without much alarm: for you must know that Perkins used to dabble in poetry, and ordinarily

"Snooks, put on your bonnet," said he, "and carry thisYOU KNOW WHERE!" he added, in a hollow,

heartbreaking tone of voice, that affected poor Snooks almost to tears. She went, however, with the note,

"Lucy! Lucy! my soul's lovewhat, what has happened? I am writing this"(a gulp of

brandyandwater)"in a state bordering on distractionmadnessinsanity"(another). "Why did you send

me out of the coach in that cruel cruel way? Write to me a word, a line tell me, tell me, I may come to

youand leave me not in this agonising condition; your faithful"(glogglogglogthe whole glass)

Well, this missive was despatched by Mrs. Snooks, and Perkins, in a fearful state of excitement, haggard,

When at length, after about an absence of forty years, as it seemed to him, the old lady returned with a large

packet, Perkins seized it with a trembling hand, and was yet more frightened to see the handwriting of Mrs. or

"MY DEAR MR. PERKINS," she began"Although I am not your soul's adored, I performed her part for

once, since I have read your letter, as I told her. You need not be very much alarmed, although Lucy is at this

moment in bed and unwell: for the poor girl has had a sad scene at her grand uncle's house in Baker Street,

and came home very much affected. Rest, however, will restore her, for she is not one of your nervous sort;

and I hope when you come in the morning, you will see her as blooming as she was when you went out

"See what Sir George Gorgon says of us all! You won't challenge him, I know, as he is to be your uncle, and

"Goodnight, my dear John. Do not go QUITE distracted before morning; and believe me your loving aunt,

"MAJORGENERAL SIR GEORGE GORGON has heard with the utmost disgust and surprise of the

"The MajorGeneral cannot conceal his indignation at the share which Miss Biggs has taken in this

"Sir George Gorgon puts an absolute veto upon all further communication between his niece and the

lowborn adventurer who has been admitted into her society, and begs to say that Lieutenant Fitch, of the

"It is the MajorGeneral's wish, that on the 28th Miss Gorgon should be ready to come to his house, in Baker

Street, where she will be more safe from impertinent intrusions than she has been in Mucklebury Square.

When poor John Perkins read this epistle, blank rage and wonder filled his soul, at the audacity of the little

General, who thus, without the smallest title in the world, pretended to dispose of the hand and fortune of his

niece. The fact is, that Sir George had such a transcendent notion of his own dignity and station, that it never

for a moment entered his head that his niece, or anybody else connected with him, should take a single step in

life without previously receiving his orders; and Mr. Fitch, a baronet's son, having expressed an admiration of

Lucy, Sir George had determined that his suit should be accepted, and really considered Lucy's preference of

John Perkins determined on the death of Fitch as the very least reparation that should satisfy him; and vowed

too that some of the General's blood should be shed for the words which he had dared to utter.

We have said that William Pitt Scully, Esquire, M.P., occupied the first floor of Mr. Perkins's house in

Bedford Row: and the reader is further to be informed that an immense friendship had sprung up between

these two gentlemen. The fact is, that poor John was very much flattered by Scully's notice, and began in a

very short time to fancy himself a political personage; for he had made several of Scully's speeches, written

more than one letter from him to his constituents, and, in a word, acted as his gratis clerk. At least a guinea a

week did Mr. Perkins save to the pockets of Mr. Scully, and with hearty good will too, for he adored the great

William Pitt, and believed every word that dropped from the pompous lips of that gentleman.

Well, after having discussed Sir George Gorgon's letter, poor Perkins, in the utmost fury of mind that his

darling should be slandered so, feeling a desire for fresh air, determined to descend to the garden and smoke a

cigar in that rural quiet spot. The night was very calm. The moonbeams slept softly upon the herbage of

Gray's Inn gardens, and bathed with silver splendour Theobald's Row. A million of little frisky twinkling

stars attended their queen, who looked with bland round face upon their gambols, as they peeped in and out

from the azure heavens. Along Gray's Inn wall a lazy row of cabs stood listlessly, for who would call a cab

on such a night? Meanwhile their drivers, at the alehouse near, smoked the short pipe or quaffed the foaming

beer. Perhaps from Gray's Inn Lane some broken sounds of Irish revelry might rise. Issuing perhaps from

Raymond Buildings gate, six lawyers' clerks might whoop a tipsy songor the loud watchman yell the

passing hour; but beyond this all was silence; and young Perkins, as he sat in the summerhouse at the bottom

of the garden, and contemplated the peaceful heaven, felt some influences of it entering into his soul, and

Presently, he was aware there was someone else pacing the garden. Who could it be?Not Blatherwick, for

he passed the Sabbath with his grandmamma at Clapham; not Scully surely, for he always went to Bethesda

Chapel, and to a select prayermeeting afterwards. Alas! it WAS Scully; for though that gentleman SAID

that he went to chapel, we have it for a fact that he did not always keep his promise, and was at this moment

employed in rehearsing an extempore speech, which he proposed to deliver at St. Stephen's.

"Had I, sir," spouted he, with folded arms, slowly pacing to and fro"Had I, sir, entertained the smallest

possible intention of addressing the House on the present occasionhum, on the present occasionI would

have endeavoured to prepare myself in a way that should have at least shown my sense of the greatness of the

subject before the House's consideration, and the nature of the distinguished audience I have the honour to

address. I am, sir, a plain manborn of the peoplemyself one of the people, having won, thank Heaven,

an honourable fortune and position by my own honest labour; and standing here as I do"

Here Mr. Scully (it may be said that he never made a speech without bragging about himself: and an excellent

plan it is, for people cannot help believing you at last)here, I say, Mr. Scully, who had one arm raised, felt

himself suddenly tipped on the shoulder, and heard a voice saying, "Your money or your life!"

The honourable gentleman twirled round as if he had been shot; the papers on which a great part of this

impromptu was written dropped from his lifted hand, and some of them were actually borne on the air into

"It's only I," said Perkins, with rather a forced laugh, when he saw the effect that his wit had produced.

"Only you! And pray what the devwhat right have you toto come upon a man of my rank in that way,

and disturb me in the midst of very important meditations?" asked Mr. Scully, beginning to grow fierce.

"I want your advice," said Perkins, "on a matter of the very greatest importance to me. You know my idea of

"Marry!" said Scully; "I thought you had given up that silly scheme. And how, pray, do you intend to live?"

"Why, my intended has a couple of hundreds a year, and my clerkship in the Tape and SealingWax Office

"ClerkshipTape and SealingWax OfficeGovernment sinecure!Why, good heavens! John Perkins,

"It is a very small salary, certainly," said John, who had a decent notion of his own merits; "but consider, six

months vacation, two hours in the day, and those spent over the newspapers. After all, it's"

"After all it's a swindle," roared out Mr. Scully"a swindle upon the country; an infamous tax upon the

people, who starve that you may fatten in idleness. But take this clerkship in the Tape and SealingWax

Office," continued the patriot, his bosom heaving with noble indignation, and his eye flashing the purest

fire,"TAKE this clerkship, John Perkins, and sanction tyranny, by becoming one of its agents; sanction

dishonesty by sharing in its plunderdo this, BUT never more be friend of mine. Had I a child," said the

patriot, clasping his hands and raising his eyes to heaven, "I would rather see him dead, sirdead, dead at

my feet, than the servant of a Government which all honest men despise." And here, giving a searching

glance at Perkins, Mr. Scully began tramping up and down the garden in a perfect fury.

"Good heavens!" exclaimed the timid John Perkins"don't say SO. My dear Mr. Scully, I'm not the

dishonest character you suppose me to beI never looked at the matter in this light. I'llI'll consider of it.

I'll tell Crampton that I will give up the place; but for Heaven's sake, don't let me forfeit YOUR friendship,

Mr. Scully pressed his hand, and said nothing; and though their interview lasted a full halfhour longer,

during which they paced up and down the gravel walk, we shall not breathe a single syllable of their

The next morning, after an interview with Miss Lucy, John Perkins, Esquire, was seen to issue from Mrs.

Biggs's house, looking particularly pale, melancholy, and thoughtful; and he did not stop until he reached a

certain door in Downing Street, where was the office of a certain great Minister, and the offices of the clerks

The head of them was Mr. Josiah Crampton, who has now to be introduced to the public. He was a little old

gentleman, some sixty years of age, maternal uncle to John Perkins; a bachelor, who had been about

After waiting four hours in an anteroom, where a number of Irishmen, some newspaper editors, many

pompouslooking political personages asking for the "first lord," a few sauntering clerks, and numbers of

swift active messengers passed to and fro;after waiting for four hours, making drawings on the

blottingbook, and reading the Morning Post for that day week, Mr. Perkins was informed that he might go

He found a little hard old gentleman seated at a table covered with every variety of sealingwax,

blottingpaper, envelopes, despatchboxes, green tapers, etc. etc. An immense fire was blazing in the grate,

an immense sheetalmanack hung over that, a screen, three or four chairs, and a faded Turkey carpet, formed

the rest of the furniture of this remarkable roomwhich I have described thus particularly, because in the

course of a long official life, I have remarked that such is the invariable decoration of political rooms.

"Well, John," said the little hard old gentleman, pointing to an armchair, "I'm told you've been here since

"I had important business," answered Mr. Perkins, stoutly; and as his uncle looked up with a comical

expression of wonder, John began in a solemn tone to deliver a little speech which he had composed, and

"Sir," said Mr. Perkins, "you have known for some time past the nature of my political opinions, and the

intimacy which I have had the honour to form with onewith some of the leading members of the Liberal

party." (A grin from Mr. Crampton.) "When first, by your kindness, I was promised the clerkship in the Tape

and SealingWax Office, my opinions were not formed as they are now; and having taken the advice of the

gentlemen with whom I act,"(an enormous grin)"the advice, I say, of the gentlemen with whom I act,

and the counsel likewise of my own conscience, I am compelled, with the deepest grief, to say, my dear

"That youwhat, sir?" exclaimed little Mr. Crampton, bouncing off his chair. "You don't mean to say that

"I do decline the place," said Perkins, whose blood rose at the word "fool." "As a man of honour, I cannot

"Not take it! and how are you to live? On the rent of that house of yours? For, by gad, sir, if you give up the

"It cannot be helped," said Mr. Perkins, looking as much like a martyr as he possibly could, and thinking

himself a very fine fellow. "I have talents, sir, which I hope to cultivate; and am member of a profession by

"Profession, talents, offices of the State! Are you mad, John Perkins, that you come to me with such

insufferable twaddle as this? Why, do you think if you HAD been capable of rising at the bar, I would have

taken so much trouble about getting you a place? No, sir; you are too fond of pleasure, and bed, and

teaparties, and smalltalk, and reading novels, and playing the flute, and writing sonnets. You would no

more rise at the bar than my messenger, sir. It was because I knew your dispositionthat hopeless, careless,

irresolute goodhumour of yoursthat I had determined to keep you out of danger, by placing you in a snug

shelter, where the storms of the world would not come near you. You must have principles forsooth! and you

must marry Miss Gorgon, of course: and by the time you have gone ten circuits, and had six children, you

will have eaten up every shilling of your wife's fortune, and be as briefless as you are now. Who the deuce

Mr. Perkins's ears tingled as these hard words saluted them; and he scarcely knew whether he ought to knock

his uncle down, or fall at his feet and say, "Uncle, I have been a, fool, and I know it." The fact is, that in his

interview with Miss Gorgon and her aunt in the morning, when he came to tell them of the resolution he had

formed to give up the place, both the ladies and John himself had agreed, with a thousand rapturous tears and

exclamations, that he was one of the noblest young men that ever lived, had acted as became himself, and

might with perfect propriety give up the place, his talents being so prodigious that no power on earth could

hinder him from being Lord Chancellor. Indeed, John and Lucy had always thought the clerkship quite

beneath him, and were not a little glad, perhaps, at finding a pretext for decently refusing it. But as Perkins

was a young gentleman whose candour was such that he was always swayed by the opinions of the last

speaker, he did begin to feel now the truth of his uncle's statements, however disagreeable they might be.

"I think I know the cause of your patriotism. Has not William Pitt Scully, Esquire, had something to do with

Mr. Perkins COULD not turn any redder than he was, but confessed with deep humiliation that "he HAD

Mr. Crampton smileddrew a letter from a heap before him, and tearing off the signature, handed over the

"Hawksby has sounded Scully: we can have him any day we want him. He talks very big at present, and says

he would not take anything under a. . . This is absurd. He has a Yorkshire nephew coming up to town, and

wants a place for him. There is one vacant in the Tape Office, he says: have you not a promise of it?"

"I can'tI can't believe it," said John; "this, sir, is some weak invention of the enemy. Scully is the most

"Mr. Scully is a gentleman in a very fair way to make a fortune," answered Mr. Crampton. "Look you,

Johnit is just as well for your sake that I should give you the news a few weeks before the papers, for I

don't want you to be ruined, if I can help it, as I don't wish to have you on my hands. We know all the

particulars of Scully's history. He was a Tory attorney at Oldborough; he was jilted by the present Lady

Gorgon, turned Radical, and fought Sir George in his own borough. Sir George would have had the peerage

he is dying for, had he not lost that second seat (bytheby, my Lady will be here in five minutes), and

Scully is now quite firm there. Well, my dear lad, we have bought your incorruptible Scully. Look

"'THE EARL OF MANTRAP'S GRAND DINNER.'A Dukefour Lords'Mr. Scully, and Sir George

"My dear John," said Mr. Crampton, jingling his watchseals very complacently, "I am letting you into

fearful secrets. The great common end of party is to buy your opponentsthe great statesman buys them for

Here the attendant genius of Mr. Crampton made his appearance, and whispered something, to which the

"John," said Mr. Crampton, with a very queer smile, "you can't stay in this room while Lady Gorgon is with

me; but there is a little clerk's room behind the screen there, where you can wait until I call you."

John retired, and as he closed the door of communication, strange to say, little Mr. Crampton sprang up and

Mr. Crampton then, remembering that he wanted a map in the next room, sprang into it, left the door half

open in coming out, and was in time to receive Her Ladyship with smiling face as she, ushered by Mr.

In issuing from and leaving open the door of the inner room, Mr. Crampton had bestowed upon Mr. Perkins a

look so peculiarly arch, that even he, simple as he was, began to imagine that some mystery was about to be

cleared up, or some mighty matter to be discussed. Presently he heard the wellknown voice of Lady Gorgon

in conversation with his uncle. What could their talk be about? Mr. Perkins was dying to know, andshall

Her Ladyship, that Juno of a woman, if she had not borrowed Venus's girdle to render herself irresistible, at

least had adopted a tender, coaxing, wheedling, frisky tone, quite different from her ordinary dignified style

of conversation. She called Mr. Crampton a naughty man, for neglecting his old friends, vowed that Sir

George was quite hurt at his not coming to dinenor fixing a day when he would comeand added, with a

most engaging ogle, that she had three fine girls at home, who would perhaps make an evening pass

"Madam," said he, with much gravity, "the daughters of such a mother must be charming; but I, who have

Both parties here heaved tremendous sighs and affected to be wonderfully unhappy about something.

"I wish," after a pause, said Lady Gorgon"I wish, dear Mr. Crampton, you would not use that odious title

"Because it makes me think of another title that ought to have been mineours (I speak for dear Sir George's

and my darling boy's sake, Heaven knows, not mine). What a sad disappointment it has been to my husband,

that after all his services, all the promises he has had, they have never given him his peerage. As for me, you

"For you, my dear madam, I know quite well that you care for no such bauble as a coronet, except in so far as

it may confer honour upon those most dear to youexcellent wife and noble mother as you are. Heigho!

Here there was another pause, and if Mr. Perkins could have seen what was taking place behind the screen, he

would have beheld little Mr. Crampton looking into Lady Gorgon's face, with as lovesick a Romeogaze as

he could possibly counterfeit; while her Ladyship, blushing somewhat and turning her own grey gogglers up

to heaven, received all his words for gospel, and sat fancying herself to be the best, most meritorious, and

"You men are terrible flatterers," continued she; "but you say right: for myself I value not these empty

distinctions. I am growing old, Mr. Crampton,yes, indeed, I am, although you smile so

incredulously,and let me add, that MY thoughts are fixed upon HIGHER things than earthly crowns. But

tell me, you who are all in all with Lord Bagwig, are we never to have our peerage? His Majesty, I know, is

not averse; the services of dear Sir George to a member of His Majesty's august family, I know, have been

appreciated in the highest quarter. Ever since the peace we have had a promise. Four hundred pounds has Sir

George spent at the Heralds' Office (I myself am of one of the most ancient families in the kingdom, Mr.

Crampton), and the poor dear man's health is really ruined by the anxious sickening feeling of hope so long

"My dear Lady Gorgon," said he, "will you let me be frank with you, and will you promise solemnly that

"Well, then, since the truth you must know, you yourselves have been in part the cause of the delay of which

you complain. You gave us two votes five years ago; you now only give us one. If Sir George were to go up

to the Peers, we should lose even that one vote; and would it be common sense in us to incur such a loss? Mr.

Scully, the Liberal, would return another Member of his own way of thinking; and as for the Lords, we have,

"Oh, that horrid man!" said Lady Gorgon, cursing Mr. Scully in her heart, and beginning to play a rapid tattoo

with her feet, "that miscreant, that traitor, thatthat attorney has been our ruin."

"Horrid man, if you please, but give me leave to tell you that the horrid man is not the sole cause of your

ruinif ruin you will call it. I am sorry to say that I do candidly think Ministers believe that Sir George

Gorgon has lost his influence in Oldborough as much through his own fault as through Mr. Scully's

"Our own fault! Good heavens! Have we not done everythingeverything that persons of our station in the

county could do, to keep those misguided men? Have we not remonstrated, threatened, taken away our

custom from the Mayor, established a Conservative apothecaryin fact, done all that gentlemen could do?

But these are such times, Mr. Crampton: the spirit of revolution is abroad, and the great families of England

This was Sir George Gorgon's speech always after dinner, and was delivered by his lady with a great deal of

stateliness. Somewhat, perhaps, to her annoyance, Mr. Crampton only smiled, shook his head, and said

"Nonsense, my dear Lady Gorgonpardon the phrase, but I am a plain old man, and call things by their

names. Now, will you let me whisper in your ear one word of truth? You have tried all sorts of

remonstrances, and exerted yourself to maintain your influence in every way, except the right one, and that

"Conciliation. We know your situation in the borough. Mr. Scully's whole history, and, pardon me for saying

Lady Gorgon's ears and cheeks now assumed the hottest hue of crimson. She thought of her former passages

with Scully, and of the days whenbut never mind when: for she suffered her veil to fall, and buried her

head in the folds of her handkerchief. Vain folds! The wily little Mr. Crampton could see all that passed

"Yes, madam, we know the absurd hopes that were formed by a certain attorney twenty years since. We

"With the governesswe were always with the governess!" shrieked out Lady Gorgon, clasping her hands.

"With the governess, of course," said Mr. Crampton, firmly. "Do you suppose that any man dare breathe a

syllable against your spotless reputation? Never, my dear madam; but what I would urge is this you have

"He never would have robbed you of your rights if you had been more kind to him. You should be gentle,

"Think what made him a traitor, Lady Gorgon; look in your glass, and say if there be not some excuse for

him? Think of the feelings of the man who saw beauty such as yoursI am a plain man and must

speakvirtue such as yours, in the possession of a rival. By heavens, madam, I think he was RIGHT to hate

Sir George Gorgon! Would you have him allow such a prize to be ravished from him without a pang on his

"He was, I believe, very much attached to me," said Lady Gorgon, quite delighted; "but you must be aware

that a young man of his station in life could not look up to a person of my rank."

"Surely not: it was monstrous pride and arrogance in Mr. Scully. But que voulezvous? Such is the world's

way. Scully could not help loving youwho that knows you can? I am a plain man, and say what I think. He

loves you still. Why make an enemy of him, who would at a word be at your feet? Dearest Lady Gorgon,

listen to me. Sir George Gorgon and Mr. Scully have already mettheir meeting was our contrivance. It is

for our interest, for yours, that they should be friends. If there were two Ministerial Members for Oldborough,

do you think your husband's peerage would be less secure? I am not at liberty to tell you all I know on this

And after a little more conversation, which was carried on by Mr. Crampton in the same tender way, this

important interview closed, and Lady Gorgon, folding her shawl round her, threaded certain mysterious

"I hope you have not been listening, you rogue?" said Mr. Crampton to his nephew, who blushed most

absurdly by way of answer. "You would have heard great State secrets, if you had dared to do so. That

woman is perpetually here, and if peerages are to be had for the asking, she ought to have been a duchess by

this time. I would not have admitted her but for a reason that I have. Go you now and ponder upon what you

have heard and seen. Be on good terms with Scully, and, above all, speak not a word concerning our

interviewno, not a word even to your mistress. By the way, I presume, sir, you will recall your

The bewildered Perkins was about to stammer out a speech, when his uncle, cutting it short, pushed him

At the period when the important events occurred which have been recorded here, parties ran very high, and a

mighty struggle for the vacant Speakership was about to come on. The Right Honourable Robert Pincher was

the Ministerial candidate, and Sir Charles Macabaw was patronised by the Opposition. The two Members for

Oldborough of course took different sides, the baronet being of the Pincher faction, while Mr. William Pitt

It was Mr. Scully's intention to deliver an impromptu speech upon the occasion of the election, and he and his

faithful Perkins prepared it between them: for the latter gentleman had wisely kept his uncle's counsel and his

own and Mr. Scully was quite ignorant of the conspiracy that was brooding. Indeed, so artfully had that

young Machiavel of a Perkins conducted himself, that when asked by his patron whether he had given up his

place in the Tape and Sealing Wax Office, he replied that "he HAD tendered his resignation," but did not say

"You were right, my boy, quite right," said Mr. Scully. "A man of uncompromising principles should make

no compromise." And herewith he sat down and wrote off a couple of letters, one to Mr. Hawksby, telling

him that the place in the SealingWax Office was, as he had reason to know, vacant; and the other to his

nephew, stating that it was to be his. "Under the rose, my dear Bob," added Mr. Scully, "it will cost you five

It is needless to state that the affair was to be conducted "with the strictest secresy and honour," and that the

While, however, the great Pincher and Macabaw question was yet undecided, an event occurred to Mr.

Scully, which had a great influence upon his afterlife. A second grand banquet was given at the Earl of

Mantrap's: Lady Mantrap requested him to conduct Lady Gorgon to dinner; and the latter, with a charming

timidity, and a gracious melancholy look into his face (after which her veined eyelids veiled her azure eyes),

put her hand into the trembling one of Mr. Scully and said as much as looks could say, "Forgive and forget."

Down went Scully to dinner. There were dukes on his right hand and earls on his left; there were but two

persons without title in the midst of that glittering assemblage; the very servants looked like noblemen. The

cook had done wonders; the wines were cool and rich, and Lady Gorgon was splendid! What attention did

everybody pay to her and to him! Why WOULD she go on gazing into his face with that tender imploring

look? In other words, Scully, after partaking of soup and fish (he, during their discussion, had been thinking

over all the former loveandhate passages between himself and Lady Gorgon), turned very red, and began

"Were you not at the opera on Tuesday?" began he, assuming at once the airs of a man of fashion. "I thought

"Opera, Mr. Scully?" (pronouncing the word "Scully" with the utmost softness). "Ah, no! we seldom go, and

yet too often. For serious persons the enchantments of that place are too dangerous. I am so nervousso

delicate; the smallest trifle so agitates, depresses, or irritates me, that I dare not yield myself up to the

excitement of music. I am too passionately attached to it; and, shall I tell you? it has such a strange influence

upon me, that the smallest false note almost drives me to distraction, and for that very reason I hardly ever go

"Egad," thought Scully, "I recollect when she would dance down a matter of fiveandforty couple, and

She continued: "Don't you recollect, I do, withoh, what regret! that day at Oldborough raceball, when I

behaved with such sad rudeness to you? You will scarcely believe me, and yet I assure you 'tis the fact, the

music had made me almost mad. Do let me ask your pardon for my conduct. I was not myself. Oh, Mr.

Scully! I am no worldly woman; I know my duties, and I feel my wrongs. Nights and days have I lain awake

weeping and thinking of that unhappy day that I should ever speak so to an old friend; for we WERE old

Scully did not speak; but his eyes were bursting out of his head, and his face was the exact colour of a

"That I should ever forget myself and you so! How I have been longing for this opportunity to ask you to

forgive me! I asked Lady Mantrap, when I heard you were to be here, to invite me to her party. Come, I know

you will forgive meyour eyes say you will. You used to look so in old days, and forgive me my caprices

Her eyes filled with tears; and poor Scully's hand caused such a rattling and trembling of the glass and the

decanter that the Duke of Doldrumwho had been, during the course of this whispered sentimentality,

describing a famous run with the Queen's hounds at the top of his voicestopped at the jingling of the glass,

and his tale was lost for ever. Scully hastily drank his wine, and Lady Gorgon turned round to her next

neighbour, a little gentleman in black, between whom and herself certain conscious looks passed.

Lady Gorgon said, "Pooh, for shame!" The little gentleman was no other than Josiah Crampton, Esquire, that

eminent financier, and he was now going through the curious calculation before mentioned, by which you

BUY A MAN FOR NOTHING. He intended to pay the very same price for Sir George Gorgon, too; but there

While Mr. Crampton was conducting this intrigue, which was to bring a new recruit to the Ministerial ranks,

his mighty spirit condescended to ponder upon subjects of infinitely less importance, and to arrange plans for

the welfare of his nephew and the young woman to whom he had made a present of his heart. These young

persons, as we said before, had arranged to live in Mr. Perkins's own house in Bedford Row. It was of a

peculiar construction, and might more properly be called a house and a half: for a snug little tenement of four

chambers protruded from the back of the house into the garden. These rooms communicated with the

drawingrooms occupied by Mr. Scully; and Perkins, who acted as his friend and secretary, used frequently

to sit in the one nearest the Member's study, in order that he might be close at hand to confer with that great

man. The rooms had a private entrance too, were newly decorated, and in them the young couple proposed to

live; the kitchen and garrets being theirs likewise. What more could they need? We are obliged to be

particular in describing these apartments, for extraordinary events occurred therein.

To say the truth, until the present period Mr. Crampton had taken no great interest in his nephew's marriage,

or, indeed, in the young man himself. The old gentleman was of a saturnine turn, and inclined to undervalue

the qualities of Mr. Perkins, which were idleness, simplicity, enthusiasm, and easy goodnature.

"Such fellows never do anything in the world," he would say, and for such he had accordingly the most

profound contempt. But when, after John Perkins's repeated entreaties, he had been induced to make the

acquaintance of Miss Gorgon, he became instantly charmed with her, and warmly espoused her cause against

At his suggestion she wrote back to decline Sir George Gorgon's peremptory invitation, and hinted at the

same time that she had attained an age and a position which enabled her to be the mistress of her own actions.

To this letter there came an answer from Lady Gorgon which we shall not copy, but which simply stated that

Miss Lucy Gorgon's conduct was unchristian, ungrateful, unladylike, and immodest; that the Gorgon family

disowned her for the future, and left her at liberty to form whatever base connections she pleased.

"A pretty world this," said Mr. Crampton, in a great rage, when the letter was shown to him. "This same

fellow, Scully, dissuades my nephew from taking a place, because Scully wants it for himself. This prude of a

Lady Gorgon cries out shame, and disowns an innocent amiable girl: she a heartless jilt herself once, and a

heartless flirt now. The Pharisees, the Pharisees! And to call mine a base family, too!"

Now, Lady Gorgon did not in the least know Mr. Crampton's connection with Mr. Perkins, or she would have

been much more guarded in her language; but whether she knew it or not, the old gentleman felt a huge

"That's right, Uncle! SHALL I call Gorgon out?" said the impetuous young Perkins, who was all for blood.

"John, you are a fool," said his uncle. "You shall have a better revenge: you shall be married from Sir George

Gorgon's house, and you shall see Mr. William Pitt Scully sold for nothing." This to the veteran diplomatist

It was very soon to take place: and, as has been the case ever since the world began, woman, lovely woman

was to be the cause of Scully's fall. The tender scene at Lord Mantrap's was followed by many others equally

sentimental. Sir George Gorgon called upon his colleague the very next day, and brought with him a card

from Lady Gorgon inviting Mr. Scully to dinner. The attorney eagerly accepted the invitation, was received

in Baker Street by the whole amiable family with much respectful cordiality, and was pressed to repeat his

visits as country neighbours should. More than once did he call, and somehow always at the hour when Sir

George was away at his club, or riding in the Park, or elsewhere engaged. Sir George Gorgon was very old,

very feeble, very much shattered in constitution. Lady Gorgon used to impart her fears to Mr. Scully every

time he called there, and the sympathising attorney used to console her as best he might. Sir George's country

agent neglected the propertyhis lady consulted Mr. Scully concerning it. He knew to a fraction how large

her jointure was; how she was to have Gorgon Castle for her life; and how, in the event of the young

baronet's death (he, too, was a sickly poor boy), the chief part of the estates, bought by her money, would be

"What a pity these odious politics prevent me from having you for our agent," would Lady Gorgon say; and

indeed Scully thought it was a pity too. Ambitious Scully! what wild notions filled his brain. He used to take

leave of Lady Gorgon and ruminate upon these things; and when he was gone, Sir George and her Ladyship

"If we can but commit himif we can but make him vote for Pincher," said the General, "my peerage is

The point had been urged upon Mr. Scully repeatedly and adroitly. "Is not Pincher a more experienced man

than Macabaw?" would Sir George say to his guest over their wine. Scully allowed it. "Can't you vote for him

on personal grounds, and say so in the House?" Scully wished he couldhow he wished he could! Every

time the General coughed, Scully saw his friend's desperate situation more and more, and thought how

pleasant it would be to be lord of Gorgon Castle. "Knowing my property," cried Sir George, "as you do, and

with your talents and integrity, what a comfort it would be could I leave you as guardian to my boy! But these

cursed politics prevent it, my dear fellow. Why WILL you be a Radical?" And Scully cursed politics too.

"Hang the lowbred rogue," added Sir George, when William Pitt Scully left the house: "he will do

"My dear General," said Lady Gorgon, sidling up to him and patting him on his old yellow cheek"My dear

Tomorrow arrived. It was a remarkably fine day, and in the forenoon Mr. Perkins gave his accustomed

knock at Scully's study, which was only separated from his own sittingroom by a double door. John had

wisely followed his uncle's advice, and was on the best terms with the honourable Member.

"Here are a few sentences," said he, "which I think may suit your purpose. Great public servicesundeniable

merityears of integritycause of reform, and Macabaw for ever!" He put down the paper. It was, in fact, a

"Hush," said Scully, rather surlily; for he was thinking how disagreeable it was to support Macabaw; and

besides, there were clerks in the room, whom the thoughtless Perkins had not at first perceived. As soon as

that gentleman saw them, "You are busy, I see," continued he in a lower tone. "I came to say that I must be

off duty today, for I am engaged to take a walk with some ladies of my acquaintance."

So saying, the lighthearted young man placed his hat unceremoniously on his head, and went off through his

own door, humming a song. He was in such high spirits that he did not even think of closing the doors of

"Ladies, forsooth," thought he; "I know who they are. This precious girl that he is fooling with, for one, I

suppose." He was right: Perkins was off on the wings of love, to see Miss Lucy; and she and Aunt Biggs and

Uncle Crampton had promised this very day to come and look at the apartments which Mrs. John Perkins was

"Poor devil," so continued Mr. Scully's meditations, "it is almost too bad to do him out of his place; but my

Bob wants it, and John's girl has, I hear, seven thousand pounds. His uncle will get him another place before

all that money is spent." And herewith Mr. Scully began conning the speech which Perkins had made for him.

He had not read it more than six times,in truth, he was getting it by heart,when his head clerk came to

him from the front room, bearing a card: a footman had brought it, who said his lady was waiting below.

Lady Gorgon's name was on the card! To seize his hat and rush downstairs was, with Mr. Scully, the work of

"Mr. Scully," said she, popping her head out of window and smiling in a most engaging way, "I want to speak

to you, on something very particular INDEED"and she held him out her hand. Scully pressed it most

tenderly: he hoped all heads in Bedford Row were at the windows to see him. "I can't ask you into the

carriage, for you see the governess is with me, and I want to talk secrets to you."

"Shall I go and make a little promenade?" said mademoiselle, innocently. And her mistress hated her for that

Mr. Scully was only too happy. My Lady descended and walked upstairs, leaning on the happy solicitor's

arm. But how should he manage? The front room was consecrated to clerks; there were clerks too, as illluck

would have it, in his private room. "Perkins is out for the day," thought Scully; "I will take her into his room."

And into Perkins's room he took heray, and he shut the double doors after him too, and trembled as he

"What a charming little study," said Lady Gorgon, seating herself. And indeed it was very pretty: for Perkins

had furnished it beautifully, and laid out a neat tray with cakes, a cold fowl, and sherry, to entertain his party

withal. "And do you bachelors always live so well?" continued she, pointing to the little cold collation.

Mr. Scully looked rather blank when he saw it, and a dreadful suspicion crossed his soul; but there was no

need to trouble Lady Gorgon with explanations: therefore, at once, and with much presence of mind, he asked

her to partake of his bachelor's fare (she would refuse Mr. Scully nothing that day). A pretty sight would it

have been for young Perkins to see strangers so unceremoniously devouring his feast. She drankMr. Scully

drankand so emboldened was he by the draught that he actually seated himself by the side of Lady

Her Ladyship had of course something to say to him. She was a pious woman, and had suddenly conceived a

violent wish for building a chapel of ease at Oldborough, to which she entreated him to subscribe. She

enlarged upon the benefits that the town would derive from it, spoke of Sundayschools, sweet spiritual

"I will subscribe a hundred pounds," said Scully, at the end of her Ladyship's harangue: "would I not do

"Thank you, thank you, dear Mr. Scully," said the enthusiastic woman. (How the "dear" went burning

through his soul!) "Ah!" added she, "if you WOULD but do anything for meif you, who are so eminently,

so truly distinguished, in a religious point of view, would but see the truth in politics too; and if I could see

your name among those of the true patriot party in this empire, how blestoh! how blest should I be! Poor

Sir George often says he should go to his grave happy, could he but see you the guardian of his boy; and I,

your old friend (for we WERE friends, William), how have I wept to think of you as one of those who are

bringing our monarchy to ruin. Do, do promise me this too!" And she took his hand and pressed it between

The heart of William Pitt Scully, during this speech, was thumping up and down with a frightful velocity and

strength. His old love, the agency of the Gorgon propertythe dear widowfive thousand a year cleara

thousand delicious hopes rushed madly through his brain, and almost took away his reason. And there she

"Juliana!" shrieked he, "don't take away your hand! My lovemy only love!speak but those blessed

when the door opened, and in walked Mr. Crampton, leading Mrs. Biggs, who could hardly contain herself

for laughing, and Mr. John Perkins, who was squeezing the arm of Miss Lucy. They had heard every word of

For at the very moment when Lady Gorgon had stopped at Mr. Scully's door, the four abovenamed

Lucy cried out that it was her aunt's carriage, and they all saw Mr. Scully come out, bareheaded, in the

sunshine, and my Lady descend, and the pair go into the house. They meanwhile entered by Mr. Perkins's

own private door, and had been occupied in examining the delightful rooms on the groundfloor, which were

to be his diningroom and libraryfrom which they ascended a stair to visit the other two rooms, which

were to form Mrs. John Perkins's drawingroom and bedroom. Now whether it was that they trod softly, or

that the stairs were covered with a grand new carpet and drugget, as was the case, or that the party within

were too much occupied in themselves to heed any outward disturbances, I know not; but Lucy, who was

advancing with John (he was saying something about one of the apartments, the rogue!)Lucy started and

whispered, "There is somebody in the rooms!" and at that instant began the speech already reported,

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, DEAR MR. SCULLY," etc. etc., which was delivered by Lady Gorgon in a

full clear voice; for, to do her Ladyship justice, SHE had not one single grain of love for Mr. Scully, and

Then began the impassioned rejoinder, to which the four listened on the landingplace; and then the little

"William," as narrated above: at which juncture Mr. Crampton thought proper to rattle at the door, and, after

"William" had had time to bounce off his knees, and was on a chair at the other end of the room.

"What, Lady Gorgon!" said Mr. Crampton, with excellent surprise, "how delighted I am to see you! Always, I

see employed in works of charity" (the chapelofease paper was on her knees), "and on such an occasion,

too,it is really the most wonderful coincidence! My dear madam, here is a silly fellow, a nephew of mine,

"They heard every word," whispered Mr. Crampton eagerly. "Come forward, Mr. Perkins, and show

yourself." Mr. Perkins made a genteel bow. "Miss Lucy, please to shake hands with your aunt; and this, my

dear madam, is Mrs. Biggs, of Mecklenburgh Square, who, if she were not too old, might marry a gentleman

in the Treasury, who is your very humble servant." And with this gallant speech, old Mr. Crampton began

As for William Pitt Scully, he had disappeared, evaporated, in the most absurd sneaking way imaginable.

Lady Gorgon made good her retreat presently, with much dignity, her countenance undismayed, and her face

About five days afterwards, that memorable contest took place in the House of Commons, in which the

partisans of Mr. Macabaw were so very nearly getting him the Speakership. On the day that the report of the

debate appeared in the Times, there appeared also an announcement in the Gazette as follows:

"The King has been pleased to appoint John Perkins, Esquire, to be DeputySubcomptroller of His Majesty's

Mr. Crampton showed this to his nephew with great glee, and was chuckling to think how Mr. William Pitt

Scully would be annoyed, who had expected the place, when Perkins burst out laughing and said, "By

heavens, here is my own speech! Scully has spoken every word of it; he has only put in Mr. Pincher's name in

"He is ours now," responded his uncle, "and I told you WE WOULD HAVE HIM FOR NOTHING. I told

you, too, that you should be married from Sir George Gorgon's, and here is proof of it."

It was a letter from Lady Gorgon, in which she said that, "had she known Mr. Perkins to be a nephew of her

friend Mr. Crampton, she never for a moment would have opposed his marriage with her niece, and she had

written that morning to her dear Lucy, begging that the marriage breakfast should take place in Baker Street."

"It shall be in Mecklenburgh Square," said John Perkins stoutly; and in Mecklenburgh Square it was.

William Pitt Scully, Esquire, was, as Mr. Crampton said, hugely annoyed at the loss of the place for his

nephew. He had still, however, his hopes to look forward to, but these were unluckily dashed by the coming

in of the Whigs. As for Sir George Gorgon, when he came to ask about his peerage, Hawksby told him that

they could not afford to lose him in the Commons, for a Liberal Member would infallibly fill his place.

And now that the Tories are out and the Whigs are in, strange to say a Liberal does fill his place. This Liberal

is no other than Sir George Gorgon himself, who is still longing to be a lord, and his lady is still devout and

intriguing. So that the Members for Oldborough have changed sides, and taunt each other with apostasy, and

hate each other cordially. Mr. Crampton still chuckles over the manner in which he tricked them both, and

talks of those five minutes during which he stood on the landingplace, and hatched and executed his