Title:   Volpone

Subject:  

Author:   Ben Jonson

Keywords:  

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PDF Version:   1.2



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Volpone

Ben Jonson



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Table of Contents

Volpone................................................................................................................................................................1

Ben Jonson ...............................................................................................................................................1

Act 1 .........................................................................................................................................................1

Scene 1.1 ..................................................................................................................................................1

Scene 1.2 ..................................................................................................................................................4

Scene 1.3 ..................................................................................................................................................9

Scene 1.4 ................................................................................................................................................14

Scene 1.5 ................................................................................................................................................26

Act 2 .......................................................................................................................................................34

Scene 2.1 ................................................................................................................................................34

Scene 2.2 ................................................................................................................................................40

Scene 2.3 ................................................................................................................................................47

Scene 2.4 ................................................................................................................................................48

Scene 2.5 ................................................................................................................................................50

Scene 2.6 ................................................................................................................................................52

Scene 2.7 ................................................................................................................................................56

Act 3 .......................................................................................................................................................57

Scene 3.1 ................................................................................................................................................57

Scene 3.2 ................................................................................................................................................58

Scene 3.3 ................................................................................................................................................61

Scene 3.4 ................................................................................................................................................62

Scene 3.5 ................................................................................................................................................68

Scene 3.6 ................................................................................................................................................70

Scene 3.7 ................................................................................................................................................70

Scene 3.8 ................................................................................................................................................80

Scene 3.9 ................................................................................................................................................82

Act 4 .......................................................................................................................................................86

Scene 4.1 ................................................................................................................................................86

Scene 4.2 ................................................................................................................................................93

Scene 4.3 ................................................................................................................................................97

Scene 4.4 ................................................................................................................................................99

Scene 4.5 ..............................................................................................................................................100

Scene 4.6 ..............................................................................................................................................109

Act 5 .....................................................................................................................................................117

Scene 5.1 ..............................................................................................................................................117

Scene 5.2 ..............................................................................................................................................117

Scene 5.3 ..............................................................................................................................................124

Scene 5.4 ..............................................................................................................................................131

Scene 5.5 ..............................................................................................................................................137

Scene 5.6 ..............................................................................................................................................138

Scene 5.7 ..............................................................................................................................................140

Scene 5.8 ..............................................................................................................................................142

Scene 5.9 ..............................................................................................................................................143

Scene 5.10 ............................................................................................................................................144

Scene 5.11 ............................................................................................................................................149

Scene 5.12 ............................................................................................................................................150


Volpone

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Volpone

Ben Jonson

Oxford Text Archive, Oxford University Computing Services, 13 Banbury Road, Oxford OX2 6NN;

archive@ox.ac.uk

Availability:

Freely available for noncommercial use provided that this header is included in its entirety with any copy

distributed

Act I 

Act II 

Act III 

Act IV 

Act V  

Volpone

by

Ben Jonson

Prepared from 1607 Quarto (STC 14783) by Hugh Craig, D of English, U of Newcastle. OTA A1433A

Act 1

Scene 1.1

A

Good morning to the Day; and, next, my Gold: 

Open the shrine, that I may see my Saint. 

Hayle the worlds soule, and mine. More glad then is 

The teeming earth, to see the longdfor Sunne 

Peepe through the hornes of the Cælestiall Ram, 

Am I, to view thy splendor, darkening his: 

That lying here, amongst my other hoordes, 

Shew'st like a flame, by night; or like the Day 

Strooke out of Chaos, when all darkenes fled 

Unto the center. O thou Son of Sol, 

(But brighter then thy father) let me kisse, 

With adoration, thee, and euery relique 

Of sacred treasure, in this blessed roome. 

Well did wise Poets, by thy glorious name, 

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Title that age, which they would have the best; 

Thou being the best of things: and far transcending 

All stile of ioy, in children, parents, friends, 

Or any other waking dreame on earth. 

Thy lookes when they to Venus did ascribe, 

They should have given her twenty thousand Cupids; 

Such are thy beauties, and our loves. Deare Saint, 

Riches, the dombe God, that giu'st all men tongues; 

That canst do naught, and yet mak'st men do all things; 

The price of soules; euen hell, with thee to boote, 

Is made worth heauen. Thou art vertue, fame, 

Honor, and all things else. Who can get thee 

He shall be noble, valiant, honest, wise,  

B

And what he will Sir. Riches are in fortune 

A greater good, then wisedome is in nature. 

A

True, my beloved Mosca. Yet, I glory 

More in the cunning purchasse of my wealth, 

Then in the glad possession; since I gaine 

No cowmon way: I vse no trade, no venter; 

I wound no earth with plowshares; fat no beasts 

To feede the Shambles; have no mills for iron, 

Oyle, corne, or men, to grinde them into poulder; 

I blow no subtill glasse; expose no shipps 

To threatnings of the furrowfaced sea; 

I turne no moneys, in the publike banke; 

Nor vsure priuate. 

B

No Sir, nor deuoure 

Soft prodigalls. You shall have some will swallow 

A melting heire, as glibly, as your Dutch 

Will pills of butter, and ne're purge for it; 

Teare forth the fathers of poore families 

Out of their beds, and coffin them aliue, 

In some kinde, clasping prison, where their bones 

May be forthcomming, when the flesh is rotten: 

But your sweet nature doth abhorre these courses; 

You loath, the widdowes, or the orphans teares 

Should washe your pauements; or their pityous cries 

Ring in your roofes: and beate the ayre, for vengeance. 

A

Right, Mosca, I do loath it. 


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B

And besides, Sir, 

You are not like a thresher, that doth stand 

With a huge flaile, watching a heape of corne, 

And, hungry, dares not taste the smallest graine, 

But feedes on mallowes, and such bitter herbes; 

Nor like the merchant, who hath fill'd his vaults 

With Romagnia, and rich Candian wines, 

Yet drinks the lees of Lombards vineger: 

You will not lie in straw, whilst mothes, and wormes 

Feed on your sumptuous hangings, and soft bedds. 

You know the vse of riches, and dare give, now, 

From that bright heape, to me, your poore obseruer, 

Or to your Dwarfe, or your Hermaphrodite, 

Your Eunuch, or what other housholdtrifle 

Your pleasure allowes maint'nance. 

A

Hold thee, Mosca, 

Take of my hand; thou strik'st on truth, in all: 

And they are enuious, terme thee Parasite. 

Call forth my Dwarfe, my Eunuch, and my Foole, 

And let them make me sport. What should I do, 

But cocker up my Genius, and liue free 

To all delights, my fortune calls me too? 

I have no wife, no parent, childe, allye, 

To give my substance too; but whome I make, 

Must be my heyre: and this makes men obserue me, 

This drawes new clients, dayly, to my house, 

Women, and men, of euery sexe, and age, 

That bring me presents, send me plate, coyne, iewels, 

With hope, that when I die, (which they expect 

Each greedy minute) it shall then returne 

Tenfold upon them; whilst some, couetous 

Aboue the rest, seeke to engrosse me, whole, 

And counterworke, the one, unto the other, 

Contend in gifts, as they would seeme, in love: 

All which I suffer, playing with their hopes, 

And am content to coyne them into profit, 

To looke upon their kindnesse, and take more, 

And looke on that; still, bearing them in hand, 

Letting the cherry knock against their lips, 

K

And, drawe it, by their mouths, and back againe. How now! 


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Scene 1.2

K

Now roome, for fresh Gamsters, who do will you to know, 

They do bring you neither Play, nor Vniuersity Show; 

And therefore do intreat you, that whatsoeuer they reherse, 

May not fare a whit the worse, for the false pase of the verse. 

If you wonder at this, you will wonder more, ere we passe, 

For know, here is inclos'd the Soule of Pithagoras, 

That Iugler divine, as hereafter shall follow; 

Which Soule (fast, and loose, sir) came first from Apollo, 

And was breath'd into A Ethalides; Mercurius his son, 

Where it had the gift to remember all that euer was done. 

From thence it fled forth, and made quicke transmigration 

To goldylockt Euphorbus, who was kill'd, in good fashion, 

At the seege of old Troy, by the Cuckold of Sparta. 

Hermotimus was next (I finde it, in my Charta') 

To whom it did passe, where no sooner it was missing, 

But with one Pirrhus, of Delos, it learn'd to go a fishing: 

And thence, did it enter the Sophist of Greece. 

From Pithagore, she went into a beautifull peece, 

Hight Aspasia, the Meretrix; and the next tosse of her 

Was, againe, of a Whore, she became a Philosopher, 

Crates the Cynick: (as it selfe doth relate it) 

Since, Kings, Knights, and Beggars, Knaues, Lords and Fooles gat it, 

Besides, Oxe, and Asse, cammel, Mule, Goat, and Brock, 

In all which it hath spoke, as in the Coblers Cock. 

But I come not here, to discourse of that matter, 

Or his One, Two, or Three, or his greath Oath, by Quater, 

His Musicks, his Trigon, his golden Thigh, 

Or his telling how Elements shift: but I 

Would aske, how of late, thou best suffered translation, 

And shifted thy coat, in these dayes of Reformation? 

V

Like one of the Reformed, a Foole, as you see, 

Counting all old Doctrine heresie: 

K

But not on thine own forbid meates hast thou venter'd? 

V

On fish, when first, a Carthusian I enter'd. 

K


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Page No 7


Why, then thy dogmaticall Silence hath left thee? 

V

Of that an obstreperous Lawyer bereft me. 

K

O wonderfull change! when Sir Lawyer forsooke thee, 

For Pithagore's sake, what body then tooke thee? 

V

A good dull Moyle. 

K

And how?: by that meanes, 

Thou wert brought to allow of the eating of Beanes? 

V

Yes. 

K

But, from the Moyle, into whome didst thou passe? 

V

Into a very strange Beast, by some Writers cal'd an Asse; 

By others, a precise, pure, illuminate Brother, 

Of those deuoure flesh, and sometimes one an other: 

And will drop you forth a libell, or a sanctified lie, 

Betwixt euery spooneful of a Natiuity Pie. 

K

Now quit thee, for Heauen, of that profane nation; 

And gently, report thy next transmigration. 

V

To the same that I am. 

K

A Creature of delight? 

And (what is more then a Foole) an Hermaphrodite? 

Now 'pray thee, sweete Soule, in all thy variation, 

Which Body wouldst thou choose, to take up thy station? 


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Page No 8


V

Troth, this I am in, euen here would I tarry. 

K

Because here, the delight of each Sexe thou canst varie? 

V

Alas, those pleasures be stale, and forsaken; 

No, it is your Foole, wherewith I am so taken, 

The onely one Creature, that I can call blessed: 

For all other formes I have prou'd most distressed. 

K

Spoke true, as thou wert in Pithagoras still. 

This learned opinion we celebrate will, 

Fellow Eunuch (as behooues us) with all our wit, and arte, 

To dignifie that, whereof our selues are so great, and special a part. 

A

Now very, very pretty: Mosca, this 

Was thy inuention? 

B

If it please my Patron, 

Not else. 

A

It doth good Mosca. 

B

Then it was Sir 

V

Fooles, they are the onely Nation 

Worth mens enuy, or admiration; 

Free from care, or sorrowtaking, 

Themselues, and others merry making: 

All they speake, or do, is sterling. 

Your Foole, he is your great mans dearling, 

And your Ladies sport, and pleasure; 

Tongue, and Bable are his treasure. 


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Page No 9


His very face begetteth laughter, 

And he speakes truth, free from slaughter; 

He is the grace of euery feast, 

And, sometimes, the cheefest guest: 

Hath his trencher, and his stoole, 

When wit shall waite upon the Foole: 

O, who would not be 

He, he, he? 

A

Who is that? away, looke Mosca. 

B

Foole, be gon, 

It is Signior Voltore, the Aduocate, 

I know him, by his knock. 

A

Fetch me my gowne, 

My furres, and nightcaps; say, my couch is changing: 

And let him intertaine himselfe, a while, 

Within in the gallery. Now, now, my clients 

Beginne their visitation; Vulture, Kite, 

Rauen, and gorCrowe, all my birds of prey, 

That think me turning carcasse, now they come: 

I am not for them yet. How now? the newes? 

B

A peece of plate, Sir. 

A

Of what bignesse? 

B

Huge, 

Massie, and antique, with your name inscrib'd, 

And armes ingrauen. 

A

Good, And not a Foxe 

Stretch'd on the earth, with fine delusiue sleights, 

Mocking a gaping Crow? ha, Mosca? 


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Page No 10


B

Sharpe, Sir. 

A

Give me my furres. Why dost thou laugh so, man? 

B

I cannot choose, Sir, when I apprehend 

What thoughts he has (within) now, as he walks: 

That this might be the last gift, he should give; 

That this would fetch you; if you died to day, 

And gaue him all, what he should be to morrow; 

What large returne would come of all his venters; 

How he should worship'd be, and reuerenc'd; 

Ride, with his furres, and footecloths; waited on 

By heards of Fooles, and clients; have cleare way 

Made for his moyle, as letter'd as himselfe; 

Be cald the great, and learned Aduocate: 

And then concludes, there is nought impossible. 

A

Yes, to be learned, Mosca; 

B

O no: rich 

Implies it. Hood an asse, with reuerend purple, 

So you can hide his two ambitious eares, 

And, he shall passe for a cathedrall Doctor. 

A

My caps, my caps, good Mosca, fetch him in. 

B

Stay, Sir, your ointment for your eyes. 

A

That is true; 

Dispatch, dispatch: I long to have possession 

Of my new present. 

B

That, and thousands more, 

I hope, to see you lord of. 


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Page No 11


A

Thankes, kind Mosca. 

B

And that, when I am lost in blended dust, 

And hundred such, as I am, in succession  

A

Nay, that were too much, Mosca. 

B

You shall liue, 

Still, to delude these Harpyeis. 

A

Louing Mosca, 

It is well, my pillow now, and let him enter. 

Now, my fain'd Cough, my Pthisick, and my Goute, 

My Apoplexie, Palsie, and Catarrhe, 

Helpe, with your forced functions, this my posture, 

Wherein, this three yeare, I have milk'd their hopes. 

He comes, I heare him (vh, vh, vh, vh) o. 

Scene 1.3

B

You still are, what you were, Sir. Onely you 

(Of all the rest) are he, commands his love: 

And you do wisely to preserue it, thus, 

With early visitation, and kinde notes 

Of your good meaning to him, which, I know, 

Cannot but come most gratefull. Patron, Sir. 

Here is Signior Voltore is come  

A

What say you? 

B

Sir Signior Voltore is come, this morning, 

To visit you. 


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Page No 12


A

I thanke him. 

B

And hath brought 

A peece of antique plate, bought of S t Marke, 

With which he here presents you. 

A

He is welcome. 

Pray him, to come more often. 

B

Yes. 

E

What saies he? 

B

He thankes you, and desires you see him often. 

A

Mosca. 

B

My Patron? 

A

Bring him neare, where is he? 

I long to feele his hand. 

B

The plate is here Sir. 

E

How fare you Sir? 

A

I thanke you, Signior Voltore. 


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Page No 13


Where is the plate? mine eyes are bad. 

E

I am sorry, 

To see you still thus weake. 

B

That he is not weaker. 

A

You are too munificent. 

E

No Sir. would to heauen, 

I could as well give health to you, as that plate. 

A

You give Sir what you can. I thanke you. Your love 

Hath tast in this, and shall not be vnanswer'd. 

I pray you see me often. 

E

Yes, I shall Sir. 

A

Be not far from me. 

B

Do you obserue that Sir? 

A

Hearken unto me, still. It will concerne you. 

B

You are a happy man Sir, know your good. 

A

I cannot now last long. 


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Page No 14


B

You are his heyre Sir. 

E

Am I? 

A

I feele me going, (vh,vh,vh,vh.) 

I am sayling to my port, (vh,vh,vh,vh?) 

And I am glad, I am so neere my haven. 

B

Alas, kinde gentleman, well, we must all go. 

E

But, Mosca. 

B

Age will conquer. 

E

'Pray thee heare me. 

Am I inscrib'd his heire, for certain? 

B

Are you? 

I do beseech you Sir you will vouchsafe 

To write me, in your family. All my hopes, 

Depend upon your worship; I am lost, 

Except the rising Sunne do shine on me. 

E

It shall both shine, and warme thee, Mosca. 

B

Sir. 

I am a man, that have not done your love 

All the worst offices here I weare your keys, 

See all your coffers, and your caskets lockt, 

Keepe the poore inuentorie of your iewels, 

Your plate, and moneyes, am your Steward Sir. 

Husband your goods here. 


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Page No 15


E

But am I sole heyre? 

B

Without a partner Sir confirmde this morning; 

The waxe is warme yet, and the inke scarse dry 

Upon the parchment: 

E

Happy, happy me! 

By what good chance, sweete Mosca? 

B

Your desert Sir; 

I know no second cause. 

E

Thy modesty 

Is loath to know it; well, we shall requite it. 

B

He euer lik'd your course Sir. That first tooke him. 

I, oft, have heard him say, how he admir'd 

Men of your large profession, that could speake 

To euery cause, and things mere contraries, 

Till they were hearse againe, yet all be Law; 

That, with most quicke agility, could turne, 

And returne; make knots, and vndoe them; 

Give forked councell; take prouoking gold 

On eyther hand, and put it up: These men, 

He knewe, would thriue, with their humility. 

And (for his part) he thought, he should be blest 

To have his heyre of such a suffering spirit, 

So wise, so graue, of so perplex'd a tongue, 

And loud withall, that would not wag, nor scarce 

Lie still, without a fee; when euery word 

Your worship but lets fall, is a Cecchine. 

Who is that? One knockes, I would not have you seen Sir. 

And yet  pretend you came, and went in hast; 

I will fashion an excuse. And, gentle Sir, 

When you do come to swim, in golden lard, 

Up to the armes, in honey, that your chin 

Is borne up stiffe, with fatnesse of the flood, 

Think on your vassall; but remember me: 


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Page No 16


I have not beene your worst of clients. 

E

Mosca  

B

When will you have your inuentory brought, Sir 

Or see a coppy of the Will? Anone, 

I will bring them to you Sir. Away, be gon, 

Put businesse in your face. 

A

Excellent Mosca! 

Come hither, let me kisse thee. 

B

Keepe you still Sir. 

Here is Corbaccio. 

A

Set the plate away, 

The Vulture is gone, and the old Rauen is come. 

Scene 1.4

B

Betake you, to your silence, and your sleepe: 

Stand there, and multiply. Now, shall we see 

A wretch, who is (indeed) more impotent, 

Then this can fayne to be; yet hopes to hop 

Ouer his graue. Signior Corbaccio, 

You are very welcome, Sir. 

D

How does your Patron? 

B

Troth as he did, Sir, no amends. 

D

What? mendes he? 


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Page No 17


B

No, Sir: he is rather worse. 

D

That is well. Where is he? 

B

Upon his couch Sir, newly fall'n a sleepe. 

D

Does he sleepe well? 

B

No winke, Sir, all this night, 

Nor yesterday, but slumbers. 

D

Good. He should take 

Some counsell of Physitians: I have brought him 

An Opiate here, from mine own Doctor  

B

He will not heare of drugs. 

D

Why? I my selfe 

Stood by while it was made; saw all the ingredients: 

And know, it cannot but most gently worke. 

My life for his, it is but to make him sleepe. 

A

Aye, his last sleepe, if he would take it. 

B

Sir. 

He has no faith in Physick: 

D

'Say you? 'say you? 


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Page No 18


B

He has no faith in Physick: He does think 

Most of your Doctors are the greater danger, 

And worse disease, to escape. I often have 

Heard him protest, that your Physitian 

Should neuer be his heyre. 

D

Not I his heyre? 

B

Not your Physitian, Sir. 

D

O, no, no, no, 

I do not meane it. 

B

No Sir, nor their fees 

He cannot brooke: He sayes, they flea a man, 

Before they kill him. 

D

Right, I conceiue you. 

B

And then, they do it by experiment; 

For which the Law not onely doth absolue them, 

But giues them great reward: And, he is loath 

To hire his death, so. 

D

It is true, they kill, 

With as much licence, as a Iudge. 

B

Nay more; 

For he but kills, Sir, where the Law condemnes, 

And these can kill him, too; 


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Page No 19


D

Aye, or me: 

Or any man. How does his Apoplexe? 

Is that strong on him, still? 

B

Most violent. 

His speech is broken, and his eyes are set, 

His face drawne longer, then it was wont  

D

How? how? 

Stronger, then he was wont? 

B

No, Sir: his face 

Drawne longer, then it was wont. 

D

O, good. 

B

His mouth 

Is euer gaping, and his eyelids hang. 

D

Good. 

B

A freezing numnesse stiffens all his ioynts, 

And makes the colour of his flesh like lead. 

D

It is good. 

B

His pulse beats slow, and dull. 

D

Good symptomes, still. 


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Page No 20


B

And, from his braine  

D

Ha? how? not from his braine? 

B

Yes, Sir, and from his braine  

D

I conceiue you, good. 

B

Flowes a cold sweat, with a continuall rhewme, 

Forth the resolued corners of his eyes. 

D

Is it possible? yet I am better, ha! 

How does he, with the swimming of his head? 

B

O, Sir it is past the Scotomy; he, now, 

Hath lost his feeling, and hath left to snort: 

You hardly can perceiue him, that he breaths. 

D

Excellent, excellent, sure I shall outlast him: 

This makes me yong againe, a score of yeares. 

B

I was a coming for you, Sir. 

D

Has he made his Will? 

What has he giu'n me? 

B

No, Sir. 


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Page No 21


D

Nothing? ha? 

B

He has not made his Will, Sir. 

D

O, o, o. 

But what did Voltore, the Lawyer, here? 

B

He smelt a carcasse Sir, when he but heard 

My maister was about his Testament; 

As I did vrge him to it, for your good  

D

He came unto him, did he? I thought so. 

B

Yes, and presented him this peece of plate. 

D

To be his heire? 

B

I do not know Sir. 

D

True, 

I know it too. 

B

By your own scale, Sir. 

D

Well, 

I shall preuent him, yet. See Mosca, looke, 

Here, I have brought a bag of bright Cecchines, 

Will quite weigh downe his plate. 


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Page No 22


B

Yea marry, Sir. 

This is true Physick, this your sacred Medicine, 

No talke of Opiates, to this great Elixir. 

D

It is Aurum palpabile, if not potabile. 

B

It shall be minister'd to him, in his boule? 

D

Aye, do, do, do. 

B

Most blessed Cordiall, 

This will recouer him. 

D

Yes, do, do, do. 

B

I think, it were not best, Sir. 

D

What? 

B

To recouer him. 

D

O, no, no, no; by no meanes. 

B

Why, Sir. this 

Will work some strange effect if he but feele it. 

D

It is true, therefore forbeare; I will take my venter: 

Give me it againe. 


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Page No 23


B

At no hand, pardon me; 

You shall not do your selfe that wrong Sir I 

Will so aduise you, you shall have it all. 

D

How? 

B

All Sir it is your right, your own; no man 

Can claime a part: it is yours, without a riuall, 

Decre'd by destiny. 

D

How? how, good Mosca? 

B

I will tell you Sir. This fit he shall recouer; 

D

I do conceiue you. 

B

And, on first aduantage 

Of his gain'd sense, will I reimportune him 

Unto the making of his Testament: 

And shew him this. 

D

Good, good. 

B

It is better yet, 

If you will heare, Sir. 

D

Yes, with all my heart. 

B


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Page No 24


Now, would I councell you, make home with speed; 

There, frame a Will; whereto you shall inscribe 

My maister your sole heyre. 

D

And disinherit 

My son? 

B

O Sir, the better: for that colour 

Shall make it much more taking. 

D

O, but colour? 

B

This Will Sir, you shall send it unto me. 

Now, when I come to inforce (as I will do) 

Your cares, your watchings, and your many prayers, 

Your more then many gifts, your this dayes present, 

And last, produce your Will; where (without thought, 

Or least regard, unto your proper issue, 

A son so braue, and highly meriting) 

The streame of your diuerted love hath throwne you 

Upon my maister, and made him your heyre: 

He cannot be so stupide, or stone dead, 

But, out of conscience, and mere gratitude  

D

He must pronounce me, his? 

B

It is true. 

D

This plot 

Did I think on before. 

B

I do beleeue it. 

D


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Page No 25


Do you not beleeue it? 

B

Yes Sir. 

D

Mine own proiect. 

B

Which when he hath done, Sir. 

D

Publish'd me his heire? 

B

And you so certaine, to suruiue him. 

D

Aye. 

B

Beeing so lusty a man. 

D

It is true. 

B

Yes Sir. 

D

I thought on that too. See, how he should be 

The very organ, to expresse my thoughts! 

B

You have not onely done your selfe a good, 

D

But multiplied it on my son? 


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Page No 26


B

It is right, Sir. 

D

Still, my inuention. 

B

'Lasse Sir, heauen knowes, 

It hath beene all my study, all my care, 

(I even grow grey withall) how to worke things  

D

I do conceiue, sweet Mosca. 

B

You are he, 

For whom I labour, here. 

D

Aye, do, do, do: 

I will straight about it. 

B

Rooke go with you, Rauen. 

D

I know thee honest. 

B

You do lie, Sir. 

D

And  

B

Your knowledge is no better then your eares, Sir. 

D

I do not doubt, to be a father to thee. 


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Page No 27


B

Nor I, to gull my brother of his blessing. 

D

I may have my youth restor'd to me, why not? 

B

Your worship is a precious asse. 

D

What sayest thou? 

B

I do desire your worship, to make hast, Sir. 

D

It is done, it is done, I go. 

A

O, I shall burst; 

Let out my sides, let out my sides  

B

Containe 

Your fluxe of laughter, Sir; you know, this hope 

Is such a baite, it couers any hooke. 

A

O, but thy working, and thy placing it! 

I cannot hold; good rascall, let me kisse thee: 

I neuer knew thee, in so rare a humor. 

B

Alas Sir, I but do, as I am taught; 

Follow your graue instructions; give them words; 

Powre oyle into their eares: and send them hence. 

A

It is true, it is true. What a rare punishment 


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Page No 28


Is auarice, to it selfe? 

B

Aye, with our help, Sir. 

A

So many cares, so many maladies, 

So many feares attending on old age, 

Yea, death so often call'd on, as no wish 

Can be more frequent with them, their limbes faint, 

Their senses dull, their seeing, hearing, going 

All dead before them; yea, their very teeth, 

Their instruments of eating, failing them: 

Yet this is reckon'd life! Nay, here was one; 

Is now gone home, that wishes to liue longer! 

Feeles not his gout, nor palsy, faines himselfe 

Yonger, by scores of yeares, flatters his age, 

With confident bellying it, hopes he may 

With charmes, like A Eson, have his youth restor'd, 

And with these thoughts so battens, as if Fate 

Would be as easily cheated on, as he, 

And all turnes ayre! Who is that, there, now? a third? 

B

Close, to your couch againe: I heare his voice. 

It is Coruino, our spruce merchant. 

A

Dead. 

B

Another bout, Sir, with your eyes. Who is there? 

Scene 1.5

B

Signior Coruino! come most wisht for! O, 

How happy were you, if you knew it, now! 

C

Why? what? wherein? 


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Page No 29


B

The tardie houre is come, Sir. 

C

He is not dead? 

B

Not dead, Sir, but as good; 

He knowes no man. 

C

How shall I do then? 

B

Why sir? 

C

I have brought him, here, a Pearle. 

B

Perhaps, he has 

So much remembrance left, as to know you, Sir; 

He still calls on you, nothing but your name 

Is in his mouth: Is your Pearle orient, Sir? 

C

Venice was neuer owner of the like. 

A

Signior Coruino. 

B

Hearke. 

A

Signior 

Coruino. 

B

He calls you, step and give it him. He is here, Sir,


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Page No 30


And he has brought you a rich Pearle. 

C

How do you 

Sir? 

Tell him, it doubles the twelfe Caract. 

B

Sir, 

He cannot vnderstand, his hearing is gone; 

And yet it comforts him, to see you  

C

Say, 

I have a Diamant for him, too. 

B

Best shew it Sir, 

Put it into his hand; it is onely there 

He apprehends: He has his feeling, yet. 

See, how he graspes it! 

C

'Lasse, good gentleman! 

How pittifull the sight is! 

B

Tut, forget Sir. 

The weeping of an heyre should still be laughter, 

Vnder a visor. 

C

Why? am I his heyre? 

B

Sir, I am sworne, I may not shew the Will, 

Till he be dead: But, here has beene Corbaccio, 

Here has beene Voltore, here were others too, 

I cannot nomber them, they were so many, 

All gaping here for legacyes; but I, 

Taking the vantage of his naming you, 

(Signior Coruino, Signior Coruino,) tooke 

Paper, and pen, and ynke, and there I ask'd him, 


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Page No 31


Whom he would have his heyre? Coruino: Who 

Should be executor, Coruino: And, 

To any question, he was silent too, 

I still interpreted the noddes, he made, 

(Though weakenesse) for consent: and sent home the others, 

Nothing bequeath'd them, but to crie, and curse. 

C

O, my deare Mosca. Does he not perceiue us? 

B

No more then a blinde harper. He knowes no man, 

No face of friend, nor name of any seruant, 

Who it was that fed him last, or gaue him drinke: 

Not those, he hath begotten, or brought up 

Can he remember. 

C

Has he children? 

B

Bastards, 

Some dozen, or more, that he begot on beggars, 

Gipseys, and Iewes, and Blackmoores, when he was drunke. 

Knew you not that Sir? it is the common fable. 

The Dwarfe, the Foole, the Eunuch are all his; 

He is the true father of his familie, 

In all, saue me: but he has giu'n them nothing. 

C

That is well, that is well. Art sure he does not heare us? 

B

Sure Sir? why looke you, credit your own sense. 

The Poxe approch, and adde to your diseases, 

If it would send you hence the sooner, Sir. 

For, your incontinence, it hath deseru'd it 

Throughly, and throughly, and the Plague to boot. 

(You may come neere, Sir) Would you would once close 

Those filthy eyes of yours, that flowe with slime, 

Like two frogpits; and those same hanging cheekes, 

Couer'd with hide, in steede of skinne: (nay helpe, Sir) 

That looke like frozen dishclouts, set on end. 


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Page No 32


C

Or, like an old smoak'd wall, on which the raine 

Ran downe in streakes. 

B

Excellent, Sir, speake out; 

You may be lowder yet: A Culuering, 

Discharged in his eare would hardly bore it. 

C

His nose is like a common sewre, still running; 

B

It is good: and, what his mouth? 

C

A very draught. 

B

O stop it up  

C

By no meanes; 

B

'Pray you let me. 

Faith, I could stifle him, rarely, with a pillow, 

As well, as any woman, that should keepe him. 

C

Do as you will, but I will be gone. 

B

Be so; 

It is your presence makes him last so long. 

C

I pray you, vse no violence. 

B


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Page No 33


No, Sir? why? 

Why should you be thus scrupulous? 'pray you, Sir. 

C

Nay, at your discretion. 

B

Well, good Sir, be gone. 

C

I will not trouble him now, to take my Pearle? 

B

Puh, nor your Diamant. What a needelesse care 

Is this afflicts you? Is not all, here yours? 

Am not I here? whom you have made? your creature? 

That owe my beeing to you? 

C

Gratefull Mosca: 

Thou art my friend, my fellow, my companion, 

My partner, and shalt share in all my fortunes. 

B

Excepting one. 

C

What is that? 

B

Your gallant wife, Sir. 

Now, is he gone; we had no other meanes, 

To shoote him hence, but this. 

A

My diuine Mosca! 

Thou hast to day outgone thy selfe. Who is there? 

I will be troubled with no more. Prepare 

Me musicke, dances, banquets, all delights; 

The Turke is not more sensual, in his pleasures, 

Then will Volpone. Let me see, a Pearle? 

A Diamant? Plat? Cecchines? good mornings purchase; 


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Page No 34


Why this is better then rob Churches, yet: 

Or fat, by eating (once a mon'th) a man. 

Who is it? 

B

The beauteous Lady Wouldbee, Sir. 

Wife, to the English Knight, Sir Politique Wouldbee, 

(This is the stile, Sir, is directed me) 

Hath sent to know, how you have slept to night, 

And if you would be visited. 

A

Not, now. 

Some three houres, hence  

B

I told the Squire, so much. 

A

When I am high with mirth, and wine; then, then. 

'Fore heauen, I wonder at the desperate valure 

Of the bold English, that they dare let loose 

Their wiues, to all encounters! 

B

Sir, this Knight 

Had not his name for nothing, he is politique, 

And knowes, how ere his wife affect strange ayres, 

She hath not yet the face, to be dishonest. 

But had she Signior Coruino's wiues face  

A

Has she so rare a face? 

B

O Sir, the wonder, 

The blazing Starre of Italy; a wench 

Of the first yeare, a beauty, ripe, as haruest! 

Whose skinne is whiter then a Swan, all ouer! 

Then siluer, snow, or lillies! a soft lip, 

Would tempt you to eternity of kissing! 

And flesh, that melteth, in the touch, to bloud! 

Bright as your gold, and lovely, as your gold! 


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Page No 35


A

Why had not I knowne this, before? 

B

Alas, 

Sir. 

My selfe, but yesterday, discouer'd it. 

A

How might I see her? 

B

O, not possible; 

She is kept as warily, as is your gold: 

Neuer does come abroad, neuer takes ayre, 

But at a windore. All her lookes are sweet, 

As the first grapes, or cherries; and are watch'd 

As neare, as they are. 

A

I must see her  

B

Sir. 

There is a guard, of ten spies thick, upon her; 

All his whole houshold: each of which is set 

Upon his fellow, and have all their charge, 

When he goes out, when he comes in, examin'd. 

A

I will go see her, though but at her windore. 

B

In some disguise, then? 

A

That is true, I must 

Maintaine mine own shape, still, the same: we will think. 


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Page No 36


Act 2

Scene 2.1

F

Sir, to a wise man, all the world is his foile. 

It is not Italy, nor France, nor Europe, 

That must bound me, if my Fates call me forth. 

Yet, I protest, it is no salt desire 

Of seeing Countries, shifting a Religion, 

Nor any disaffection to the State 

Where I was bred, (and, unto which I owe 

My dearest plots) hath brought me out; much lesse, 

That idle, antique, stale, greyheaded proiect 

Of knowing mens mindes, and manners, with Vlisses: 

But, a peculiar humour of my wiues, 

Layd for this height of Venice, to obserue, 

To quote, to learne the language, and so forth  

I hope you trauell, Sir, with licence? 

G

Yes. 

F

I dare the safelier conuerse  How long, Sir, 

Since you left England? 

G

Seauen weekes. 

F

So lately! 

You have not beene with my Lord Ambassador? 

G

Not yet, Sir. 

F

'Pray you, what newes, Sir, vents our climate? 

I heard, last night, a most strange thing reported 

By some of my Lords followers, and I long 

To heare, how it will be seconded! 


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Page No 37


G

What was it, Sir? 

F

Marry, Sir, of a Rauen, that should build 

In a ship royall of the Kings. 

G

This fellow 

Does he gull me, trow? or is gull'd? your name Sir? 

F

My name is Politique Wouldbee. 

G

O, that speaks him. 

A Knight, Sir? 

F

A poore Knight, Sir. 

G

Your Lady 

Lies here, in Venice, for intelligence 

Of tires, and fashions, and behauiour, 

Among the Curtizans? the fine Lady Wouldbe? 

F

Yes; Sir; the spider, and the bee, oft times, 

Suck from one flower. 

G

Good Sir Politique! 

I crie you mercy; I have heard much of you: 

It is true, Sir, of your Rauen. 

F

On your knowledge? 


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Page No 38


G

Yes, and your Lions whelping, in the Tower. 

F

Another whelpe? 

G

Another, Sir. 

F

Now heauen! 

What prodigies be these? The Fires at Berwike! 

And the new Starre! these things concurring, strange! 

And full of omen! Saw you those Meteors? 

G

I did Sir. 

F

Fearefull! Pray you Sir, confirme me, 

Were there three Porcpisces seene, aboue the Bridge, 

As they give out? 

G

Sixe, and a Sturgeon, Sir. 

F

I am astonish'd. 

G

Nay sir, be not so; 

I will tell you a greater prodigie, then these  

F

What should these things portend! 

G

The very day 

(Let me be sure) that I put forth from London, 

There was a Whale discouer'd, in the riuer, 

As high as Woollwich, that had waited there 


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Page No 39


(Few know how many moneths) for the subuersion 

Of the StodeFleete. 

F

Is it possible? Beleeue it, 

It was either sent from Spaine, or the Archduke, 

Spinola's Whale, upon my life, my credit; 

Will they not leaue these proiects? Worthy Sir, 

Some other newes. 

G

Faith, Stone, the Foole, is dead; 

And they do lack a tauerneFoole, extremely. 

F

Is Mass' Stone dead? 

G

He is dead Sir; why? I hope 

You thought him not immortall? O this Knight 

(Were he well knowne) would be a precious thing 

To fit our English Stage: He that should write 

But such a fellow, should be thought to faine 

Extremely, if not maliciously. 

F

Stone dead? 

G

Dead. Lord! how deepely Sir you apprehend it? 

He was no kinsman to you? 

F

That I know of. 

Well! that same fellow was an vnknowne Foole. 

G

And yet you know him, it seemes? 

F

I did so. Sir, 

I knew him one of the most dangerous heads 


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Page No 40


Liuing within the State, and so I held him. 

G

Indeed Sir? 

F

While he liu'd, in action. 

He has receiu'd weekely intelligence, 

Upon my knowledge, out of the Low Countries, 

(For all parts of the world) in cabages; 

And those dispens'd, againe, to Ambassadors, 

In oranges, muskmelons, apricocks, 

Limons, pomecitrons, and such like: sometimes, 

In Colchesteroysters, and your Selseycockles. 

G

You make me wonder! 

F

Sir. upon my knowledge. 

Nay, I, have obseru'd him, at your publique Ordinary, 

Take his aduertisement, from a Traueller 

(A conceald Statesman) in a trencher of meate; 

And, instantly, before the meale was done, 

Conuay an answer in a toothpick. 

G

Strange! 

How could this be, Sir? 

F

Why, the meate was cut 

So like his character, and so layd, as he 

Must easily read the cipher. 

G

I have heard, he could not read, Sir. 

F

So, it was giuen out, 

(In pollitie,) by those, that did imploy him: 

But he could read, and had your languages, 

And to it, as sound a noddle  


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Page No 41


G

I have heard, Sir, 

That your Babiouns were spies; and that they were 

A kinde of subtle Nation, neare to China: 

F

Aye, aye, your Mamuluchi. Faith, they had 

Their hand in a French plot, or two; but they 

Were so extremely giuen to women, as 

They made discouery of all: Yet I 

Had my aduises here (on wensday last) 

From one of their own coat, they were return'd, 

Made their relations (as the fashion is) 

And now stand faire, for fresh imployment. 

G

'Hart! 

This Sir Poll: will be ignorant of nothing. 

It seemes Sir, you know all? 

F

Not all Sir. But, 

I have some generall notions; I do love 

To note, and to obserue: Though I liue out, 

Free from the actiue torrent, yet I would marke 

The currents, and the passages of things, 

For mine own priuate vse; and know the ebbes, 

And flowes of State. 

G

Beleeueit, Sir, I hold 

My selfe, in no small tie, unto my fortunes, 

For casting me thus luckely, upon you; 

Whose knowledge (if your bounty equall it) 

May do me great assistance, in instruction 

For my behauiour, and my bearing, which 

Is yet so rude, and raw  

F

Why? came you forth 

Empty of rules, for trauayle? 

G


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Page No 42


Faith, I had 

Some common ones, from out that vulgar Grammar, 

Which he, that cri'd Italian to me, taught me. 

F

Why, this it is, that spoiles all our braue blouds, 

Trusting our hopefull gentry unto Pedants, 

Fellowes of outside, and mere barke. You seeme 

To be a gentleman, of ingenuous race  

I not professe it, but my fate hath beene 

To be, where I have been consulted with, 

In this high kinde, touching some great mens sons, 

Persons of bloud, and honor  

G

Who be these, Sir? 

Scene 2.2

B

Vnder that windore, there it must be. The same: 

F

Fellowes, to mount a banke! Did your instructer 

In the deare Tongues, neuer discourse to you 

Of the Italian Montebankes? 

G

Yes, Sir. 

F

Why, 

Here shall you see one. 

G

They are Quacksaluers, 

Fellowes, that liue by venting oyles, and drugs? 

F

Was that the character he gaue you of them? 


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Page No 43


G

As I remember. 

F

Pittie his ignorance. 

They are the onelyknowing men of Europe, 

Great, generall Schollers, excellent Phisitians, 

Most admir'd Statesmen, profest Fauorites, 

And cabinetCouncellors, to the greatest Princes: 

The onely Languag'dmen, of all the world. 

G

And, I have heard, they are most lewd impostors; 

Made all of termes, and shreds; no lesse beliers 

Of greatmens fauors, then their own vile med'cines; 

Which they will vtter upon monstrous othes: 

Selling that drug, for two pence, ere they part, 

Which they have valew'd at twelue crownes, before. 

F

Sir, calumnies are answer'd best with silence; 

Your selfe shall iudge. Who is it mounts, my friends? 

B

Scoto of Mantua, Sir. 

F

Is it he? nay, then 

I will proudly promise, Sir, you shall behold 

Another man, then has beene phant'sied to you. 

I wonder, yet, that he should mount his banke 

Here, in this nooke, that has beene wont to appeare 

In face of the Piazza! Here, he comes 

A

Mount Zany, 

X

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow. 

F

See how the people follow him! he is a man 

May write 10000. Crownes, in Banke, here. Note,


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Page No 44


Marke but his gesture; I do vse to obserue 

The state he keepes, in getting up! 

G

It is worth it, Sir. 

A

Most noble Gent: and my worthy Patrons, it may seeme strange, that I, your Scoto Mantuano, who was euer

wont to fixe my Banke in face of the publike Piazza, neare the shelter of the portico, to the Procuratia, should,

now (after eight months absence, from this illustrous Citty of Venice) humbly retire my selfe, into an obscure

nooke of the Piazza;

F

Did not I, now, obiect the same? 

G

Peace, Sir. 

A

Let me tel you: I am not (as your Lombard Prouerbe sayth) cold on my feete, or content to part with my

commodities at a cheaper rate, then I accustomed; looke not for it. Nor, that the calumnious reports of that

impudent detractor, and shame to our profession, (Alessandro Buttone, I meane) who gaue out, in publike, I

was condemn'd a'Sforzato to the Galleys, for poysoning the Cardinall Bemboos  Cooke, hath at all

attached, much lesse deiected me. No, no, worthie Gent: (to tell you true) I cannot indure, to see the rable of

these ground Ciarlitani, that spread their clokes on the pauement, as if they meant to do feates of actiuitie, and

then come in, lamely, with their mouldy tales out of Boccacio, like stale Tabarine, the Fabulist: some of them

discoursing their trauells, and of their tedious captiuity in the Turkes Galleyes, when indeed (were the truth

knowne) they were the Christians Galleyes, where very temperately, they eate bread, and drunke water, as a

wholesome pennance (enioyn'd them by their Confessors) for base pilferies.

F

Note but his bearing, and contempt of these. 

A

These turdyfacynastypatielousiefarticall rogues, with one poore groatsworth of vnprepar'd antimony,

finely wrapt up in seuerall 'Scartoccios, are able, very well, to kill their twenty a weeke, and play; yet these

meagre steru'd spirits, who have halfe stopt the organs of their mindes with earthy oppilations, want not their

fauourers among your shriuel'd, salladeating Artizans: who are ouerioy'd, that they may have their

halfeperth of Physick, though it purge them into another world, makes no matter.


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F

Excellent! have you heard better Language, Sir? 

A

Well, let them go. And Gentlemen, honourable Gentlemen, know, that for this time, our Banque, being thus

remou'd from the clamours of the Canaglia, shall be the Scene of pleasure, and delight; For I have nothing to

sell, little or nothing to sell:

F

I told you, Sir; his ende. 

G

You did so, Sir. 

A

I protest, I, and my sixe seruants, are not able to make of this pretious liquor, so fast, as it is fetch'd away

from my lodging, by Gentlemen of your Citty; strangers of the Terraferma; worshipful Merchants; aye, and

Senators too: who, euer since my arriuall, have detained me to their vses, by their splendidous liberalities.

And worthily. For what auayles your rich man to have his magazines stuft with Moscadelli, or the purest

grape, when his Physitians prescribe him (on paine of death) to drinke nothing but water, cocted with

Aniseseeds? O health! health! the blessing of the rich, the riches of the poore! who can buy thee at too deare

a rate, since there is no enioying this world, without thee? Be not then so sparing of your purses, honorable

Gentlemen, as to abridge the naturall course of life 

G

You see his ende? 

F

Aye, is it good? 

A

For, when a humide Fluxe, or Catarrhe, by the mutability of ayre, falls from your head, into an arme or

shouilder, or any other part; take you a Duckat, or your Cecchine of gold, and applie to the place affected:

see, what good effect it can worke. No, no, it is this blessed Vnguento, this rare Extraction, that hath onely

power to disperse all malignant humors, that proceede, either of hot, cold, moist or windy causes 


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G

I would he had put in dry too. 

F

'pray you, obserue. 

A

To fortifie the most indigest, and crude stomacke, aye, were it of one, that (through extreame weakenesse)

vomited bloud, applying onely a warme napkin to the place, after the vnction, and fricace; For the Vertigine,

in the head, putting but a drop into your nostrills, likewise, behind the eares; a most soueraigne, and

approoued remedy. The Mallcaduco, Crampes, Convulsions, Paralysies, Epilepsies, Tremorcordia,

retiredNerues, ill Vapours of the spleene, Stoppings of the Liuer, the Stone, the Strangury, Hernia ventosa,

Iliaca passio; stops a Disenteria, immediatly; easeth the torsion of the small guts: and cures Melancolia

hypocondriaca, being taken and applyed, according to my printed Receipt. For, this is the Physitian, this the

medicine; this councells, this cures; this giues the direction, this works the effect: and (in summe) both

together may be term'd an abstract of the theorick, and practick in the A Esculapian Art. It will cost you eight

Crownes. And, Zan Fritada, 'pray thee sing a verse, extempore, in honour of it.

F

How do you like him, Sir? 

G

Most strangely, I! 

F

Is not his language rare? 

G

But Alchimy, 

I neuer heard the like: or Broughtons bookes. 

A

Had old Hippocrates, or Galen, 

(That to their bookes put med'cines all in) 

But knowne this secret, they had neuer 

(Of which they will be guilty euer) 

Beene murderers of so much paper, 

Or wasted many a hurtlesse taper: 

No Indian drug had ere beene famed, 

Tabacco, Sassafras not named; 


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Ne yet, of Guacum one small stick, Sir, 

Nor Raymund Lullies greate Elixir. 

Ne, had beene knowne the danish Gonswart. 

Or Paracelsus, with his longsword. 

G

All this, yet, will not do, eight Crownes is high. 

A

No more; Gentlemen, if I had but time to discourse to you the miraculous effects of this my oyle, surnamed

oglio del Scoto, with the countlesse catalogue of those I have cured of the aforesayd, and many more

diseases, the Pattents and Priuiledges of all the Princes, and Commonwealthes of Christendome, or but the

depositions of those that appear'd on my part, before the Signiry of the Sanita', and most learned Colledge of

Physitians; where I was authorized, upon notice taken of the admirable vertues of my medicaments, and mine

own excellency, in matter of rare, and vnknowne secrets, not onely to disperse them publiquely in this

famous Citty, but in all the Territories, that happely ioy vnder the gouernment of the most pious and

magnificent States of Italy. But may some other gallant fellow say, O, there be diuers, that make profession to

have as good, and as experimented receipts, as yours: Indeed, very many have assay'd, like Apes, in imitation

of that, which is really, and essentially in me, to make of this oyle; bestow'd great cost in furnaces, stilles,

alembekes, continuall fires, and preparation of the ingredients, as indeede there goes to it sixe hundred

seuerall Simples, beside, some quantity of humane fat, for the conglutination, which we buy of the

Anatomistes; But, when these Practitioners come to the last decoction, blow, blow, puff, puff, and all flies in

fumo: ha, ha, ha. Poore wretches! I rather pitty their folly, and indiscretion, then their losse of time, and

money; for those may be recouer'd by industry: but to be a Foole borne is a disease incurable. For my selfe, I

alwaies from my youth have indeauor'd to get the rarest secrets, and booke them; eyther in exchange, or for

money; I spared nor cost, nor labour, where anything was worthy to be learned. And Gentlemen, honourable

Gentlemen, I will vndertake (by vertue of Chymicall Art) out of the honourable hat, that couers your head, to

extract the foure Elements; that is to say, the Fire, Ayre, Water, and Earth, and returne you your felt, without

burne, or staine. For, whilst others have beene at the balloo, I have beene at my booke: and am now past the

craggy pathes of study, and come to the flowrie plaines of honour, and reputation.

F

I do assure you, Sir, that is his ayme. 

A

But, to our price. 

G

And that withall, Sir Poll. 

A


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You all know (honourable Gentlemen) I neuer valew'd this ampulla, or violl, at lesse then eight Crownes, but

for this time, I am content, to be depriu'd of it for sixe; sixe Crownes is the price; and lesse, in curtesie, I

know you cannot offer me; take it, or leaue it, howsoeuer, both it, and I am at your seruice. I aske you not, as

the valew of the thing, for then I should demand of you a thousand Crownes, so the Cardinalls Montalto,

Fernese, the great Duke of Tuscany, my Gossip, with diuers other Princes have giuen me; but I despise

money: only to shew my affection to you, honorable Gentlemen, and your illustrous State here, I have

neglected the messages of these Princes, mine own offices, fram'd my iourney hither, onely to present you

with the fruicts of my trauells. Tune your voyces once more, to the touch of your instruments, and give the

honorable assembly some delightfull recreation.

G

What monstrous, and most painefull circumstance 

Is here, to get some three, or foure Gazets? 

Some threepence, in the whole, for that it will come to 

A

You that would last long, list to my song, 

Make no more coyle, but buy of this oyle. 

Would you be euer faire? and yong? 

Stout of teeth? and strong of tongue? 

Tart of palat? quick of eare? 

Sharpe of sight? of nostrill cleare? 

Moist of hand? and light of foot? 

(Or I will come neerer to it) 

Would you liue free from all diseases? 

Do the act, your mistres pleases; 

Yet fright all aches from your bones? 

Here is a med'cine, for the nones. 

Well, I am in a humor (at this time) to make a present of the small quantity my coffer containes: to the rich, in

courtesie, and to the poore, for Gods sake. Wherefore, now marke; I ask'd you sixe Crownes, and sixe

Crownes, at other times, you have payd me; you shall not give me sixe Crownes, nor fiue, nor foure, nor

three, nor two, nor one; nor halfe a Duckat; no, nor a Muccinigo: six pence it will cost you, or sixe hundred

pound  expect no lower price, for by the banner of my front, I will not bate a bagatine, that I will have,

onely, a pledge of your loves, to carry something from amongst you, to shew, I am not contemn'd by you.

Therefore, now, tosse your handkerchiefes, chearefully, chearefully; and be aduertised, that the first heroique

spirit, that deignes to grace me, with a handkerchiefe, I will give it a little remembrance of something, beside,

shall please it better, then if I had presented it with a double Pistolet.

G

Will you be that heroique Sparke, Sir Pol? 

O see! the windore has preuented you. 

A


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Lady, I kisse your bounty; and, for this timely grace, you have done your poore Scoto of Mantua, I will

returne you, ouer and aboue my oyle, a secret, of that high, and inestimable nature, shall make you for euer

enamour'd on that minute, wherein your eye first descended on so meane, yet not altogether to be despis'd an

obiect. Here is a Poulder, conceal'd in this paper, of which, if I should speake to the worth, nine thousand

volumes were but as one page, that page as a line, that line as a word; so short is this Pilgrimage of man

(which some call Life) to the expressing of it: would I reflect on the price? why, the whole World were but as

an Empire, that Empire as a Prouince, that Prouince as a Banke, that Banke as a priuate Purse, to the purchase

of it. I will, onely, tell you; it is the Poulder, that made Venus a Goddesse (giuen her by Apollo) that kept her

perpetually yong, clear'd her wrincles, firm'd her gumnmes, fill'd her skinne, colour'd her hayre; From her,

deriu'd to Helen, and at the sack of Troy (vnfortunately) lost: Till now, in this our age, it was as happily

recouer'd, by a studious Antiquary, out of some ruines of Asia, who sent a moyetie of it, to the Court of

France (but much sophistcated) wherewith the Ladyes there, now, colour their hayre. The rest (at this present)

remaines with me; extracted, to a Quint essence: so that, where euer it but touches, in youth it perpetually

preserues, in age restores the complexion; seats your teeth, did they dance like Virginall iacks, firme as a

wall; makes them white, as Iuory, that were black, as 

Scene 2.3

C

Bloud of the deuill, and my shame! come downe, here; 

Come downe: No house but mine to make your Scene? 

Signior Flaminio, will you downe, Sir? downe? 

What is my wife your Franciscina? Sir? 

No windores on the whole Piazza, here, 

To make your properties, but mine? but mine? 

Hart! ere to morrow, I shall be new christen'd, 

And cald the Pantalone di Besogniosi, 

About the towne. 

G

What should this meane, Sir Poll? 

F

Some trick of State, beleeue it. I will home. 

G

It may be some designe on you: 

F

I know not. 

I will stand upon my gard. 

G

It is your best, Sir. 


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F

This three weekes, all my aduises, all my letters 

They have beene intercepted. 

G

Indeed, Sir? 

Best have a care. 

F

Nay so I will. 

G

This Knight, 

I may not loose him, for my mirth, till night. 

Scene 2.4

A

O I am wounded. 

B

Where, Sir? 

A

Not without; 

Those blowes were nothing: I could beare them euer. 

But angry Cupid, boulting from her eyes, 

Hath shot himselfe into me, like a flame; 

Where, now, he flings about his burning heat, 

As in a furnace, some ambitious fire, 

Whose vent is stopt. The fight is all within me. 

I cannot liue, except thou helpe me, Mosca; 

My liuer melts, and I, without the hope 

Of some soft ayre, from her refreshing breath, 

Am but a heape of cinders. 

B

'Lasse, good Sir, 

Would you had neuer seene her. 


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A

Nay, would thou 

Hadst neuer told me of her. 

B

Sir it is true; 

I do confesse, I was vnfortunate, 

And you vnhappy: but I am bound in conscience. 

No lesse then duety, to effect my best 

To your release of torment, and I will, Sir. 

A

Deare Mosca, shall I hope? 

B

Sir, more then deare, 

I will not bidd you to dispaire of ought, 

Within a humane compasse. 

A

O, there spoke 

My better Angell. Mosca, take my keyes, 

Gold, plate, and iewells, all is at thy deuotion; 

Employ them, how thou wilt; nay, coyne me, too: 

So thou, in this, but crowne my longings. Mosca? 

B

Vse but your patience. 

A

So I have. 

B

I doubt not 

But bring successe to your desires. 

A

Nay, then, 

I not repent me of my late disguise. 

B

If you can horne him, Sir, you neede not. 


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A

True: 

Besides, I neuer meant him for my heyre. 

Is not the colour of my beards. and eyebrowes, 

To make me knowne? 

B

No iot. 

A

I did it well. 

B

So well, would I could follow you in mine, 

With halfe the happinesse; and, yet, I would 

Escape your Epilogue. 

A

But, were they gull'd 

With a beleefe, that I was Scoto? 

B

Sir, 

Scoto himselfe could hardly have distinguish'd; 

I have not time to flatter you, we will part: 

And, as I prosper, so applaud my art. 

Scene 2.5

C

Death of mine honour, with the citties Foole? 

A iugling, toothdrawing, prating Montebanke? 

And, at a publique windore? where whilst he, 

With his strain'd action, and his dole of faces, 

To his drugLecture drawes your itching eares, 

A crewe of old, vnmari'd, noted lechers, 

Stood leering up, like Satyres; and you smile, 

Most graciously? and fanne you fauours forth, 

To give your hote Spectators satisfaction? 

What; was your Montebanke their call? their whistle? 

Or were you 'enamour'd on his copper rings? 

His saffron iewell, with the toadestone in it? 


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Or his imbroydred sute, with the copestitch, 

Made of a hersecloath? or his old tiltfeather? 

Or his starch'd beard? well; you shall have him, yes. 

He shall come home, and minister unto you 

The fricace, for the Mother. Or, let me see, 

I think, you had rather mount? would you not mount? 

Why, if you will mount, you may; yes truely, you may: 

And so, you may be seene, downe to the foote. 

Get you a citterne, Lady Vanity, 

And be a Dealer, with the Vertuous Man; 

Make on: I will but protest myselfe a cuckold, 

And saue your dowry. I am a Dutchman, I; 

For, if you thought me an Italian, 

You would be damn'd, ere you did this, you Whore: 

Thou wouldst tremble, to imagine, that the murder 

Of father, mother, brother, all thy race, 

Should follow, as the subiect of my iustice. 

I

Good Sir, have pacience. 

C

What couldst thou propose 

Lesse to thy selfe, then, in this heate of wrath, 

And stung with my dishonour, I should strike 

This steele unto thee, with as many stabs, 

As thou wert gaz'd upon with goatish eyes? 

I

Alas Sir, be appeas'd; I could not think 

My beeing at the windore should more, now, 

Moue your impatience, then at other times: 

C

No? not to seeke, and entertaine a parlee; 

With a knowne knaue? before a multitude? 

You were an Actor, with your handkercheife; 

Which he, most sweetly, kist in the receipt, 

And might (no doubt) returne it, with a letter, 

And point the place, where you might meete: your sisters, 

Your mothers, or your aunts might serue the turne. 

I

Why, deare Sir, when do I make these excuses? 

Or euer stirre, abroad, but to the Church? 

And that, so seldome  


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C

Well, it shall be lesse; 

And thy restraint, before, was liberty, 

To what I now decree: And therefore, marke me. 

First, I will have this baudy light damn'd up; 

And, till it be done, some two, or three yards of, 

I will chalke a line: ore which, if thou but (chance 

To) set thy desp'rate foote; more hell, more horror, 

More wilde, remorcelesse rage shall seize on thee, 

Then on a Coniurer, that had heedlesse left, 

His Circles saftie, ere his Deuill was layd. 

Then, here is a lock, which I will hang upon thee; 

And, now I think of it, I will keepe thee backwards; 

Thy lodging shall be backwards; thy walkes backwards; 

Thy prospectall be backwards; and no pleasure, 

That thou shalt know, but backwards: Nay, since you force 

My honest nature, know, it is your own 

Being too open, makes me vse you thus. 

Since you will not containe your subtill nostrills 

In a sweete roome, but, they must snuffe the ayre 

Of ranke, and sweaty passengers  One knocks. 

Away, and be not seene, paine of thy life; 

Not looke toward the windore: if thou dost  

(Nay stay, heare this) let me not prosper, Whore, 

But I will make thee an Anatomy, 

Dissect thee mine own selfe, and read a lecture 

Upon thee, to the citty, and in publique. 

Away. Who is there? 

V

It is Signior Mosca, Sir. 

Scene 2.6

C

Let him come in, his master is dead: There is yet 

Some good, to helpe the bad. My Mosca, welcome; 

I gesse your newes. 

B

I feare, you cannot, Sir. 

C

Is it not his death? 


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B

Rather, the contrary. 

C

Not his recouery? 

B

Yes, Sir, 

C

I am curst, 

I am bewitch'd, my crosses meete to vexe me. 

How? how? how? how? 

B

Why, Sir, with Scoto's oyle; 

Corbaccio, and Voltore brought of it, 

Whilst I was busy in an inner roome  

C

Death! that damn'd Mountebanke; but, for the Law, 

Now, I could kill the raskall: it cannot be, 

His oyle should have that vertue. Have not I 

Knowne him a common rogue, come fidling in 

To the Osteria, with a tumbling whore, 

And, when he has done all his forc'd tricks, beene glad 

Of a poore spoonefull of ded wine, with flies in it? 

It cannot be. All his ingredients 

Are a sheepes gall, a rosted bitches marrow, 

Some fewe sod earewigs pounded caterpillers, 

A little capons grease, and fasting spitle: 

I know hem, to a dram. 

B

I know not, Sir, 

But some of it, there they pour'd into his eares, 

Some in his nostrills, and recouer'd him; 

Applying but the fricace. 

C

Pox on that fricace. 


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B

And since to seeme the more officious, 

And flatt'ring of his health, there, they have had 

(At extreme fees) the Colledge of Physitians 

Consulting on him how they might restore him; 

Where, one would have a cataplasme of spices, 

Another a flead Ape clapt to his brest, 

A third would have it a Dog, a fourth an oyle 

With wilde Cates skinnes: At last, they all resolu'd 

That, to preserue him, was no other meanes, 

But some yong woman must be streight sought out, 

Lusty, and ful if iuice, to sleepe by him; 

And, to this seruice (most vnhappily, 

And most vnwillingly) am I now imploy'd, 

Which, here, I thought to preacquaint you with, 

For your aduise, since it concernes you most, 

Because, I would not do that thing might crosse 

Your ends, on whome I have my whole dependance, Sir: 

Yet if I do it not, they may delate 

My slacknesse to my Patron, worke me out 

Of his opinion; and there, all your hopes, 

Venters, or whatsoeuer, are all frustrate. 

I do but tell you, Sir. Besides, they are all 

Now striuing, who shall first present him. Therefore  

I could intreate you, breefly, conclude somewhat: 

Preuent them if you can. 

C

Death to my hopes! 

This is my villanous fortune! best to hire 

Some common Curtezan? 

B

Aye, I thought on that, Sir. 

But they are all so subtle, full of art, 

And age againe, doting, and flexible, 

So as  I cannot tell  we may perchance 

Light on a queane, may cheate us all. 

C

It is true. 

B

No, no: it must be one, that has no tricks, Sir, 

Some simple thing, a creature, made unto it; 

Some wench you may command. Have you no kinswoman? 


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Gods son  Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, Sir. 

One of the Doctors offer'd, there, his daughter. 

C

How! 

B

Yes, Signior Lupo, the Physitian, 

C

His daughter? 

B

And a virgin, Sir. Why? Alasse 

He knowes the state of his body, what it is; 

That naught can warme his bloud Sir, but a feuer; 

Nor any incantation raise his spirit: 

A long forgetfullnesse hath seiz'd that part. 

Besides, Sir, who shall know it? some one, or two. 

C

I pray thee give me leaue: If any man 

But I had had this luck  The thing in it selfe, 

I know, is nothing  Wherefore should not I 

As well command my bloud, and my affections, 

As this dull Doctor? In the point of honor, 

The cases are all one, of wife, and daughter. 

B

I heare him comming. 

C

She shall do it: it is done. 

Slight, if this Doctor that is not engag'd, 

Vnlesse it be for his councell (which is nothing) 

Offer his daughter, what should I, that am 

So deepely in? I will preuent him, wretch! 

Couetous wretch! Mosca, I have determin'd. 

B

How Sir? 


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C

We will make all sure. The party, you wot of, 

Shall be mine own wife, Mosca. 

B

Sir. The thing, 

(But that I would not seeme to councell you) 

I should have motion'd to you at the first: 

And, make your count, you have cut all their throtes. 

Why! it is directly taking a possession! 

And, in his next fit, we may let him go. 

It is but to pul the pillow, from his head, 

And he is thratled: it had beene done, before, 

But for your scrupulous doubts. 

C

Aye, a plague on it, 

My conscience fooles my wit. Well, I will be briefe, 

And so be thou, least they should be before us: 

Go home, prepare him, tell him, with what zeale, 

And willingnesse, I do it: sweare it was, 

On the first hearing, (as thou mayst do, truely) 

Mine own free motion. 

B

Sir, I warrant you, 

I will so possesse him with it, that the rest 

Of his steru'd clients shall be banisht, all; 

And onely you receiu'd. But come not, Sir, 

Vntill I send, for I have something, else 

To ripen, for your good (you must not know it) 

C

But do not you forget to send, now. 

B

Feare not. 

Scene 2.7

C

Where are you, wife? my Celia? wife? what, blubbering? 

Come, drye those teares. I think, thou thought'st me in earnest? 

Ha? by this light, I talk'd so but to trie thee. 


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Page No 59


Me thinkes, the lightnesse of the occasion 

Should have confirm'd thee. Come, I am not iealous: 

I

No? 

C

Faith, I am not I, nor neuer was: 

It is a poore, vnprofitable humor. 

Do not I know, if women have a will, 

They will do against all the watches, of the world? 

And that the feircest spies, are tam'd with gold? 

Tut, I am confident in thee thou shalt see it: 

And see, I will give thee cause too, to beleeue it. 

Come, kisse me. Go, and make thee ready straight, 

In all thy best attire, thy choicest iewells, 

Put them all on, and, with them, thy best lookes: 

We are inuited to a solemne feast, 

At old Volpone's, where it shall appeare 

How far I am free, from iealousie, or feare. 

Act 3

Scene 3.1

B

I Feare, I shall begin to grow in love 

With my deare selfe, and my most prosp'rous parts, 

They do so spring, and burgeon; I can feele 

A whimsey in my bloud: (I know not how) 

Successe hath made me wanton. I could skip 

Out of my skinne, now, like a subtill snake, 

I am so limber. O! Your Parasite 

Is a most pretious thing, dropt from aboue, 

Not bred amongst clods, and clotpoules, here on earth. 

I muse, the Mysterie was not made a Science, 

It is so liberally profest! Almost, 

All the wise world is little else, in nature, 

But Parasites, or Subparasites. And, yet, 

I meane not those, that have your bare Towneart, 

To know, who is fit to feede them; have no house, 

No family, no care, and therefore mould 

Tales for mens eares, to baite that sense; or get 

Kitchininuention, and some stale receipts 

To please the belly, and the groine; nor those, 


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Page No 60


With their Courtdogtrickes, that can fawne, and fleere, 

Make their revenue out of legges, and faces, 

Eccho myLord, and lick away a moath: 

But you fine, elegant rascall, that can rise, 

And stoope (almost together) like an arrow; 

Shoote through the aire, as nimbly as a starre; 

Turne short, as doth a swallow; and be here, 

And there, and here, and yonder, all at once; 

Present to any humour, all occasion; 

And change a visor, swifter, then a thought. 

This is the creature, had the art borne with him; 

Toyles not to learne it, but doth practise it 

Out of most excellent nature: And such sparkes, 

Are the true Parasites, others but their Zani's. 

Scene 3.2

B

Who is this? Bonario? old Corbaccio's son? 

The person I was bound to seeke. Fayre Sir, 

You are happ'ly met. 

J

That cannot be by thee. 

B

Why Sir? 

J

Nay 'pray thee know thy way, and leaue me; 

I would be loath to interchange discourse, 

With such a mate, as thou art 

B

Curteous Sir. 

Scorne not my pouerty. 

J

Not I, by heauen, 

But thou shalt give me leaue to hate thy basenesse. 

B

Basenesse? 


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Page No 61


J

Aye Answer me, Is not thy sloth 

Sufficient argument? thy flattery? 

Thy meanes of feeding? 

B

Heauen, be good to me. 

These imputations are too common, Sir, 

And eas'ly stuck on vertue, when she is poore; 

You are vnequall to me, and how ere 

Your sentence may be righteous yet you are not, 

That ere you know me, thus, proceed in censure: 

S t Marke beare witnesse against you, it is inhumane. 

J

What? does he weepe? the signe is soft, and good; 

I do repent me, that I was so harsh. 

B

It is true, that sway'd, by strong necessity, 

I am enforc'd to eate my carefull bread 

With too much obsequy; it is true, beside, 

That I am faine to spin mine own poore rayment, 

Out of my mere obseruance, being not borne, 

To a free fortune: but that I have done 

Base offices, in rending friends asunder, 

Diuiding families, betraying councells, 

Whispering false lies, or mining men with prayses, 

Train'd their credulitie with periuries, 

Corrupted chastity, or am in love 

With mine own tender ease, but would not rather 

Proue the most rugged, and laborious course, 

That might redeeme, my present estimation; 

Let me here perish, in all hope of goodnesse. 

J

This cannot be a personated passion. 

I was to blame, so to mistake thy nature; 

'Pray thee forgiue me: and speake out thy bus'nesse. 

B

Sir, it concernes you; and though I may seeme, 

At first, to make a maine offence, in manners, 

And in my gratitude, unto my maister, 


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Page No 62


Yet, for the pure love, which I beare all right, 

And hatred of the wrong, I must reueale it. 

This very houre, your father is in purpose 

To disinherit you  

J

How? 

B

And thrust you forth, 

As a mere stranger to his bloud; it is true, Sir: 

The worke no way ingageth me, but, as 

I claime an interest in the generall state 

Of goodnesse, and true vertue, which I heare 

To abound in you: and, for which mere respect, 

Without a second ayme, Sir, I have done it. 

J

This tale hath lost thee much of the late trust, 

Thou hadst with me; it is impossible: 

I know not how to lend it any thought, 

My father should be so vnnaturall. 

B

It is a confidence, that well becomes 

Your piety; and form'd (no doubt) it is, 

From your own simple innocence: which makes 

Your wrong more monstrous, and abhor'd. But, Sir, 

I now, will tell you more. This very minute, 

It is, or will be doing: And, if you 

Shall be but pleas'd to goe with me, I will bring you, 

(I dare not say where you shall see, but) where 

Your eare shall be a witnesse of the deed; 

Heare your selfe written Bastard; and profest 

The common issue of the earth. 

J

I am maz'd. 

B

Sir, if I do it not, draw your iust sword, 

And score your vengeance, on my front, and face; 

Marke me your villayne: You have too much wrong, 

And I do suffer for you, Sir. My heart 

Weepes bloud, in anguish  


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Page No 63


J

Lead. I follow thee. 

Scene 3.3

A

Mosca stayes long, me thines. Bring forth your sports 

And helpe, to make the wretched time more sweete. 

K

Dwarfe, Foole, and Eunuch, well mett here we be. 

A question it were now, whether of us three, 

Being, all, the knowne delicates, of a rich man, 

In pleasing him, claime the precedency can? 

V

I claime for my selfe. 

And, so doth the Foole. 

K

It is foolish indeed: let me set you both to schoole. 

First, for your Dwarfe, he is little, and witty, 

And euery thing, as it is little, is pritty; 

Else, why do men say to a creature (of my shape) 

So soone as they see him, it is a pritty little Ape? 

And, why a pritty Ape? but for pleasing imitation 

Of greater mens action, in a ridiculous fashion. 

Beside, this feat body of mine doth not craue 

Halfe the meat, drinke, and cloth, one of your bulkes will have. 

Admit, your Fooles face be the Mother of Laughter, 

Yet, for his braine, it must alwaies come after: 

And, though that do feede him, it is a pittifull case, 

His body is beholding to such a bad face. 

A

Who is there? my couch, Away, looke Nano, see: 

Give me my cappes, first  go, enquire. Now, Cupid 

Send it be Mosca, and with faire returne. 

K

It is the beauteous Madam  


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Page No 64


A

Wouldbee? is it? 

K

The same. 

A

Now, torment on me; squire her in: 

For she will enter, or dwell here for euer. 

Nay, quickly, that my fit were past. I feare 

A second hell too, that my loathing this 

Will quite expell my appetite to the other: 

Would she were taking, now, her tedious leaue. 

Lord, how it threates me, what I am to suffer! 

Scene 3.4

H

I thanke you, good Sir. 'Pray you signifie 

Unto your Patron, I am here. This band 

Shewes not my neck inough (I trouble you, Sir, 

Let me request you, bid one of my women 

Come hether to me) In good faith, I, am drest 

Most fauorably, to day, it is no matter, 

It is well inough. Looke, see, these petulant things, 

How they have done this! 

A

I do feele the Feuer 

Entring, in at mine eares; O, for a charme 

To fright it hence. 

H

Come nearer: Is this curle 

In his right place? or this? why is this highter 

Then all the rest? you have not wash'd your eies, yet? 

Or do they not stand euen in your head? 

Where is your fellow? call her. 

K

Now, St Marke 

Deliuer us: anone, she will beate her women, 

Because her nose is red. 


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Page No 65


H

I pray you, view 

This tire, forsooth; are all things apt, or no 

W

One haire a little, here, sticks out, forsooth. 

H

Does it so forsooth? and where was your deare sight 

When it did so, forsooth? what now? birdeyd? 

And you too? 'pray you both approach, and mend it. 

Now (by that light) I muse, you are not asham'd, 

I, that have preach'd these things, so oft, unto you, 

Read you the principles, argu'd all the grounds, 

Disputed euery grace, euery fitnesse, 

Call'd you to councell of so frequent dressings  

K

(More carefully, then of your fame, or honor) 

H

Made you acquainted, what an ample dowry 

The knowledge of these things would be unto you, 

Able, alone, to get you Noble husbands 

At your returne: And you, thus, to neglect it? 

Besides, you seeing what a curious Nation 

The Italians are, what will they say of me? 

The English lady cannot dresse her selfe; 

Here is a fine imputation, to our Country: 

Well, goe your waies, and stay, in the next roome. 

This fucus was too course too, it is no matter. 

GoodSir, you will give them entertaynement? 

A

The storme comes toward me. 

H

How does my Volp? 

A

Troubled with noyse, I cannot sleepe; I dreamt' 

That a strange Fury entred, now, my house, 


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Page No 66


And, with the dreadfull tempest of her breath, 

Did cleaue my roofe asunder. 

H

Beleeue me, and I 

Had the most fearefull dreame, could I remember it  

A

Out on my fate; I have giu'n her the occasion 

How to torment me: she will tell me hers. 

H

Me thought, the golden Mediocrity 

Polite, and delicate  

A

O, if you do love me, 

No more; I sweate, and suffer, at the mention 

Of any dreame: feele, how I tremble yet. 

H

Alasse, good soule! the Passion of the heart. 

Seedpearle were good now, boild with sirrope of Apples, 

Tincture of Gold, and Currall, Citronpills, 

Your Elicampane roote, Mirobalanes  

A

Ay me, I have ta'ne a grassehopper by the wing. 

H

Burnt silke, and Amber, you have Muscadell 

Good in the house  

A

You will not drinke, and part? 

H

No, feare not that. I doubt, we shall not get 

Some English saffron (halfe a dram would serue) 

Your sixteene Cloves, a little Muske, dri'd Mintes, 

Buglosse, and barleymeale  


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Page No 67


A

She is in againe, 

Before I fayn'd diseases, now I have one. 

H

And these appli'd, with a right scarletcloth  

A

Another floud of words! a very torrent! 

H

Shall I, Sir, make you a Poultise? 

A

No, no, no; 

I am very well: you neede prescribe no more. 

H

I have, a little, studied Physick; but, now, 

I am all for Musique: saue, in the forenoones, 

An houre, or two, for Paynting. I would have 

A Lady, indeed, to have all, Letters, and Artes, 

Be able to discourse, to write, to paynt, 

But principall (as Plato holds) your Musique 

(And, so does wise Pithagoras, I take it) 

Is your true rapture; when there is concent 

In face, in voice, and clothes: and is, indeed, 

Our sexes chiefest ornament. 

A

The Poe+t; 

As old in time, as Plato, and as knowing, 

Says that your highest female grace is Silence. 

H

Which of your Poe+ts? Petrarch? or Tasso? or Dante? 

Guerrini? Ariosto? Aretino? 

Cieco di Hadria? I have read them all. 

A

Is euery thing a cause, to my distruction? 


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Page No 68


H

I think, I have two or three of them, about me. 

A

The sunne, the sea will sooner, both, stand still, 

Then her æternall tongue; nothing can scape it. 

H

Here is Pastor Fido  

A

Professe obstinate silence, 

That is, now, my safest. 

H

All our English Writers, 

I meane such, as are happy in the Italian, 

Will deigne to steal out of this Author, mainely; 

Almost as much, as from Montagnie; 

He has so moderne, and facile a veine, 

Fitting the time, and catching the Courteare. 

Your Petrarch is more passionate, yet he, 

In dayes of Sonetting, trusted them, with much: 

Dante is hard, and fewe can vnderstand him. 

But, for a desperate wit, there is Aretine; 

Onely, his pictures are a little obscene  

You marke me not? 

A

Alasse, my mind is perturb'd. 

H

Why in such cases we must cure our selues, 

Make vse of our Philosophie  

A

O 'ay me. 

H

And, as we find our passions do rebell, 

Encounter them with reason; or diuert them, 

By giuing scope unto some other humour 


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Page No 69


Of lesser danger: As, in politique bodyes, 

There is nothing, more doth ouerwhelme the iudgment, 

And clouds the vnderstanding, then too much 

Setling, and fixing, and (as it were) subsiding 

Upon one obiect. For the incorporating 

Of these same outward things, into that part, 

Which we call mentall, leaues some certaine fæces, 

That stop the organs, and as Plato sayes, 

Assassinates our Knowledge. 

A

Now, the spirit 

Of patience helpe me. 

H

Come, in faith, I must 

Visit you more, a dayes; and make you well: 

Laugh, and be lusty. 

A

My good Angell saue me. 

H

There was but one sole man, in all the world, 

With whom I ere could sympathize; and he 

Would lie you often three, foure houres together, 

To heare me speake: and be (sometime) so rap't, 

As he would answer me, quite from the purpose, 

Like you, and you are like him, iust. I will discourse 

(And it be but only, Sir, to bring you a sleepe) 

How we did spend our time, and loves, together, 

For some sixe yeares. 

A

O, o, o, o, o, o. 

H

For we were Coætanei, and brought up  

A

Some power, some fate, some fortune rescue me. 


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Page No 70


Scene 3.5

B

God saue you, Madam. 

H

Good Sir. 

A

Mosca? welcome, 

Welcome to my redemption. 

B

Why, Sir? 

A

O, 

Rid me of this my torture, quickly, there; 

My Madam, with the euerlasting voyce: 

The Bells, in time of pestilence, ne're made 

Like noyse, or were in that perpetuall motion; 

The Cockpit comes not neare it. All my house, 

But now, steam'd like a bath, with her thicke breath. 

A Lawyer could not have beene heard; nor scarse 

Another Woman such a hayle of words 

She has let fall. For hells sake, ridd her hence. 

B

Has she presented? 

A

O, I do not care, 

I will take her absence, upon any price, 

With any losse. 

B

Madam. 

H

I have brought your Patron 

A toy, a cap here, of mine own worke  


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Page No 71


B

It is well, 

I had forgot to tell you, I saw your Knight, 

Where you would little think it  

H

Where? 

B

Many, 

Where yet, if you make hast you may apprehend him, 

Rowing upon the water in a gondole, 

With the most cunning Curtizan, of Venice. 

H

Is it true? 

B

Pursue them, and beleeue your eyes; 

Leaue me, to make your gift. I knew, it would take. 

For lightly, they, that vse themselues most licence, 

Are still most iealous. 

A

Mosca, hearty thanks, 

For thy quick fiction, and deliuery of me. 

Now, to my hopes, what saist thou? 

H

But do you heare, Sir? 

A

Againe; I feare a paroxisme. 

H

Which way 

Row'd they together? 

B

Toward the Rialto. 


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Page No 72


H

I pray you, lend me your Dwarfe. 

B

I pray you, take him  

Your hopes, Sir, are like happy blossomes, fayre, 

And promise timely fruict, if you will stay 

But the maturing; keepe you, at your couch, 

Corbaccio will arriue straight, with the Will: 

When he is gone, I will tell you more. 

A

My bloud, 

My spirits are return'd; I am aliue: 

And like your wanton gam'ster, at Primero, 

Whose thought had whisper'd to him not go lesse, 

Me thinkes I lie, and drawe  for an encounter. 

Scene 3.6

B

Sir, here conceald, you may here all. But 'pray you 

Have patience, Sir; the same is your father, knocks: 

I am compeld, to leaue you. 

J

Do so. Yet, 

Cannot my thought imagine this a truth. 

Scene 3.7

B

Death on me! you are come too soone, what meant you? 

Did not I say, I would send? 

C

Yes, but I feard 

You might forget it, and then they preuent us. 


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Page No 73


B

Preuent? did ere man hast so, for his hornes? 

A Courtier would not ply it so, for a place. 

Well, now there is no helping it, stay here; 

I will presently returne. 

C

Where are you, Celia? 

You know not, wherefore I have brought you hether? 

I

Not well, except you told me. 

C

Now, I will: 

Hearke hether. 

B

Sir, your father hath sent word, 

It will be halfe an houre, ere he come; 

And therefore, if you please to walke, the while, 

Into that gallery  at the vpper end, 

There are some bookes, to entertaine the time: 

And I will take care, no man shall come unto you, Sir. 

J

Yes, I will stay there; I do doubt this fellow. 

B

There, he is farre inough; he can heare nothing: 

And, for his father, I can keepe him of. 

C

Nay, now, there is no starting back; and therefore, 

Resolue upon it: I have so decree'd. 

It must be done. Nor, would I moue it, afore, 

Because I would auoyd all shifts and tricks, 

That might deny me. 

I

Sir, let me beseech you, 

Affect not these strange trialls; if you doubt 

My chastity, why lock me up, for euer: 


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Page No 74


Make me the heyre of darkenesse. Let me liue, 

Where I may please your feares, if not your trust. 

C

Beleeue it, I have no such humor, I. 

All that I speake, I meane; yet I am not mad: 

Not hornemad, see you? Go to, shew your selfe 

Obedient, and a wife. 

I

O heauen! 

C

I say it, 

Do so. 

I

Was this the traine? 

C

I have told you reasons; 

What the Phisitians have set downe; how much, 

It may concerne me; what my ingagements are; 

My meanes; and the necessity of those meanes, 

For my recouery: wherefore, if you be 

Loyall, and mine, be wonne, respect my venture. 

I

Before your honour? 

C

Honour? tut, a breath; 

There is no such thing, in nature: a mere terme 

Inuented to awe fooles. What is my gold 

The worse, for touching? clothes, for being look'd on? 

Why, this is no more. An old, decrepite wretch, 

That has no sense, no sinewe; takes his meate 

With others fingers; onely knowes to gape, 

When you do scald his gummes; a voice; a shadow; 

And, what can this man hurt you? 

I

Lord! what spirit 


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Page No 75


Is this hath entred him? 

C

And for your same, 

That is such a ligg; as if I would go tell it, 

Crie it, on the Piazza! who shall know it? 

But he, that cannot speake it; and this fellow, 

Whose lippes are in my pocket: saue your selfe, 

If you will proclaime it, you may. I know no other, 

Should come to know it. 

I

Are heauen, and Saints then nothing? 

Will they be blind, or stupide? 

C

How? 

I

Good Sir, 

Be iealous stil, æmulate them; and think 

What hate they burne with, toward euery sinne. 

C

I graunt you; if I thought it were a sinne, 

I would not vrge you. Should I offer this 

To some young Frenchman, or hot Tuscane bloud, 

That had read Aretine, conn'd all his printes, 

Knew euery quirke within lusts Laborinth, 

And were profest Cristique, in lechery; 

And I would loope upon him, and applaud him, 

This were a sinne: but here, it is contrary, 

A pious worke, mere charity, for Physick, 

And honest politie, to assure mine own. 

I

O heauen, canst thou suffer such a change? 

A

Thou art mine honor, Mosca and my pride, 

My ioy, my tickling, my delight: go, bring them. 

B


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Page No 76


Please you drawe neare, Sir. 

C

Come on, what  

You will not be rebellious? By that light  

B

Sir, Signior Coruino, here, is come to see you, 

A

O. 

B

And, hearing of the consultation had, 

So lately, for your health, is come to offer, 

Or rather, Sir, to prostitute  

C

Thankes, sweete Mosca, 

B

Freely, vna  sk'd, or vn  intreated  

C

Well. 

B

(As the true, feruent instance of his love) 

His own most faire, and proper wife; the beauty, 

Onely of price, in Venice  

C

It is well vrg'd. 

B

To be your comfortresse, and to preserue you. 

A

Alasse, I am past already. 'Pray you, thanke him, 

For his good care, and promptnesse. But for that, 


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It is a vaine labour, eene to fight, against heauen; 

Applying fire to a stone: (uh, uh, uh, uh,) 

Making a dead leafe grow againe. I take 

His wishes gently, though; and, you may tell him, 

What I have done for him: Mary, my state is hopelesse, 

Will him, to pray for me: and to vse his fortune, 

With reuerence, when he comes to it. 

B

Do you heare, Sir? 

Go to him, with your wife. 

C

Heart of my father! 

Wilt thou persist thus? Come. I pray thee, come. 

Thou seest it is nothing: Celia. By this hand, 

I shall grow violent. Come, do it, I say. 

I

Sir, kill me, rather: I will take downe poyson, 

Eate burning coales, do any thing  

C

Be damn'd. 

(Heart I will drag thee hence, home, by the haire; 

Cry thee a strumpet, through the streetes; rip up 

Thy mouth, unto thine eares; and slit thy nose, 

Like a raw rotchet  Do not tempt me, come, 

Yeld, I am loth  (Death) I will buy some slaue, 

Whom I will kill, and binde thee to him, aliue; 

And, at my windore, hang you forth: deuising 

Some monstrous crime, which I, in CAPITAL letters, 

Will eate into thy flesh, with Aquafortis, 

And burning cor'siues, on this stubborne brest. 

Now, by the bloud, thou hast incens'd, I will do it. 

I

Sir, what you please, you may, I am your Martyr. 

C

Be not thus obstinate, I have not deseru'd it: 

Think, who it is, intreats you. 'Pray thee, sweete; 

(Good'faith) thou shalt have iewells, gownes, attires, 

What thou wilt think, and aske  Do, but, goe kisse him. 

Or touch him, but. For my sake. At my sute. 


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Page No 78


This once. No? Not? I shall remember this. 

Will you disgrace me, thus? Do you thirst my vndoing? 

B

Nay, gentle Lady, be aduis'd. 

C

No, no. She has watch'd her time. God's precious  this is skiruy: it is very skiruie: And you are 

B

Nay good, Sir. 

C

An errant Locust, by heauen, a Locust. Whore, 

Crocodile, that hast thy teares prepar'd, 

Expecting, how thou wilt bid hem flow. 

B

Nay, 'Pray you, Sir, 

She will consider. 

I

Would my life would serue 

To satisfie  

C

(S'Death) if she would but speake to him, 

And saue my reputation, it were somewhat; 

But, spightfully to affect my vtter ruine: 

B

Aye, now you have put your fortune, in her hands. 

Why in faith, it is her modesty, I must quit her; 

If you were absent, she would be more comming; 

I know it: and dare vndertake for her. 

What woman can, before her husband? 'pray you, 

Let us departe, and leaue her, here. 

C

Sweete Celia, 


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Page No 79


Thou mayst redeeme all, yet; I will say no more: 

If not, esteeme your selfe as lost,  Nay, stay there. 

I

O God, and his good Angells! whether, whether 

Is shame fled humane brests? that, with such ease, 

Men dare put of your honors, and their own? 

Is that, which euer was a cause of life, 

Now place'd beneath the basest circumstance? 

And modesty an exile made, for money? 

A

Aye in Coruino, and such earthfed mindes, 

That neuer tasted the true heau'n of love. 

Assure thee, Celia, he that would sell thee, 

Onely for hope of gaine, and that vncertaine, 

He would have sold his part of Paradise 

For ready money, had he met a Copeman. 

Why art thou maz'd, to see me thus reuiu'd? 

Rather, applaud thy beauties miracle; 

It is thy great worke: that hath, not now alone, 

But sundry times, rays'd me, in seuerall shapes, 

And, but this morning, like a Mountebanke; 

To see thee at thy windore. Aye, before 

I would have left my practise, for thy love, 

In varying figures, I would have contended 

With the blew Proteus, or the horned Floud. 

Now, art thou welcome. 

I

Sir. 

A

Nay, flie me not; 

Nor, let thy false imagination 

That I was bedrid, make thee think, I am so: 

Thou shalt not find it. I am, now, as fresh, 

As hot, as high, and, in as Iouiall plight, 

As when (in that so celebrated Scene, 

At recitation of our Como edie, 

For entertayment of the great Valoys) 

I acted yong Antinou+s; and atracted 

The eyes, and eares of all the Ladies, present, 

To admire each gracefull gesture, note, and footing. 

Come, my Celia, let us proue, 

While we can, the sports of love; 

Time will not be ours, for euer, 


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Page No 80


He, at length, our good will seuer; 

Spend not then his guiftes, in vaine. 

Sunnes, that set, may rise againe: 

But if, once, we loose this light, 

It is with us perpetuall night. 

Why should we deferre our ioyes? 

Fame, and rumor are but toyes. 

Cannot we delude the eyes 

Of a few poore housholdspies? 

Or his easier eares beguile, 

Thus remooued, by our wile? 

It is no sinne, loves fruicts to steale; 

But the sweete thefts to reveale: 

To be taken, to be seene, 

These have crimes accounted beene. 

I

Some serene blast me, or dire lightning strike 

This my offending face. 

A

Why droopes my Celia? 

Thou hast, in place of a base husband, found 

A worthy lover: vse thy fortune well, 

With secrecy, and pleasure. See, behold, 

What thou art Queene of; not in expectation, 

As I feede others: but possess'd, and crown'd. 

See, here, a rope of pearle; and each, more orient 

Then that the braue A Egiptian Queene carrous'd: 

Dissolue, and drinke them. See, a Carbuncle, 

May put out both the eyes of our St Marke; 

A Diamant, would have bought Lollia Paulina, 

When she came in, like starlight, hid with iewells, 

That were the spoyles of Prouinces; take these, 

And weare, and loose them: Yet, remaines an Earering 

To purchase them againe, and this whole State. 

A Gem, but worth a priuate patrimony, 

Is nothing: we will eate such at a meale. 

The heads of parrots, tongues of nightingalles, 

The braynes of peacocks, and of estriches 

Shall be our foode: and, could we get the pho enix, 

(Though Nature lost her kind) she were our dish. 

I

Good Sir, these things might moue a minde affected 

With such delights; but I, whose innocence 

Is all I can think wealthy, or worth the enioying, 

And, which once lost, I have nought to loose beyond it, 


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Page No 81


Cannot be taken with these sensuall baytes: 

If you have conscience  

A

It is the Beggers vertue, 

If thou hast wisdome, heare me Celia. 

Thy bathes shall be the iuyce of Iulyflowers, 

Spirit of roses, and of violets, 

The milke of vnicornes, and panthers breath 

Gather'd in bagges, and mixt with Cretan wines. 

Our drinke shall be prepared gold, and amber; 

Which we will take, vntill my roofe whirle round 

With the vertigo: and my Dwarfe shall dance, 

My Eunuch sing, my Foole make up the antique. 

Whilst, we, in changed shapes, act Ouids tales, 

Thou, like Europa now, and I like Ioue, 

Then I like Mars, and thou like Erycine, 

So, of the rest, till we have quite run through 

And weary'd all the fables of the Gods. 

Then will I have thee, in more moderne formes, 

Attired like some sprightly Dame of France, 

Braue Tuscan lady, or proud Spanish Beautie; 

Sometimes, unto the Persian Sophies Wife; 

Or the grandSigniors Mistresse; and, for change, 

To one of our most artefull Curtezans, 

Or some quick Negro, or cold Russian; 

And I will meete thee, in as many shapes: 

Where we may, so, transfuse our wandring soules, 

Out at our lippes, and score up summes of pleasures, 

That the curious shall not know, 

How to tell them, as they flow; 

And the enuious, when they find 

What there number is, be pind. 

I

If you have eares, that will be pierc'd  or eyes, 

That can be open'd  a heart, may be touch'd  

Or any part, that yet sounds man, about you  

If you have touch of holy Saints  or Heauen  

Do me the grace, to let me scape  if not, 

Be bountifull, and kill me  you do know, 

I am a creature, hether ill betrayd, 

By one, whose shame I would forget it were  

If you will daigne me neither of these graces, 

Yet feede your wrath, Sir, rather then your lust  

(It is a vice, comes nearer manlinesse ) 

And punish that vnhappy crime of nature, 

Which you miscall my beauty  Flea my face, 

Or poison it, with oyntments, for seducing 


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Page No 82


Your bloud to this rebellion  Rub these hands, 

With what may cause an eating leprosie, 

Even to my bones, and marrow  Any thing, 

That may disfauour me, saue in my honour  

And I will kneele to you, 'pray for you, pay downe 

A thousand howrely vowes, Sir, for your health  

Report, and think you vertuous  

A

Think me cold, 

Frosen, and impotent, and so report me? 

That I had Nestor's hernia, thou wouldst think. 

I do degenerate, and abuse my Nation, 

To play with oportunity, thus long: 

I should have done the act, and then have parlee'd. 

Yeeld, or I will force thee. 

I

O, iust God. 

A

In vaine  

J

Forbeare, foule rauisher, libidinous swine, 

Free the forc'd lady, or thou dy'st, Impostor. 

But that I am loath to snatch thy punishment 

Out of the hand of Iustice, thou shouldst, yet, 

Be made the timely sacrifice of vengeance, 

Before this Altar, and this drosse, thy Idoll. 

Lady, let us quit the place, it is the den 

Of villany; feare nought you have a guard: 

And he, ere long, shall meete his iust reward. 

A

Fall on me, roofe, and bury me in ruine, 

Become my graue, that wert my shelter. O, 

I am vnmasqu'd, vnspirited, vndone, 

Betray'd to beggary, to infamy  

Scene 3.8

B

Where shall I runne, most wretched shame of men, 


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Page No 83


To beate out my vnluckie braines? 

A

Here, here. 

What? dost thou bleede? 

B

O, that his welldriu'n sword 

Had beene so curteous, to have cleft me downe, 

Unto the nauill; e're I liu'd to see 

My life, my hopes, my spirits, my Patron, all 

Thus desperately engaged, by my error. 

A

Woe, on thy fortune. 

B

And my follies, Sir. 

A

Thou hast made me miserable. 

B

And my selfe, Sir. 

Who would have thought, he would have harken'd, so? 

A

What shall we do? 

B

I know not, if my heart 

Could expiate the mischance, I would pluck it out. 

Will you be pleas'd to hang me? or cut my throate? 

And I will requite you, Sir. Let us die like Romanes, 

Since we have liu'd, like Grecians. 

A

Hearke, who is there? 

I heare some footing, Officers, the Saffi, 

Come to apprehend us! I do feele the brand 

Hissing, already, at my forehead: now, 

Mine eares are boring. 


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B

To your couch, Sir, you 

Make that place good, how euer. Guilty men 

Suspect, what they deserue still. Signior Corbaccio! 

Scene 3.9

D

Why! how now? Mosca! 

B

O, vndone, amaz'd, Sir. 

Your son (I know not, by what accident) 

Acquainted with your purpose, to my Patron, 

Touching your Will, and making him your heire; 

Entred our house with violence, his sword drawne, 

Sought for you, call'd you wretch, vnnaturall, 

Vow'd he would kill you. 

D

Me? 

B

Yes, and my Patron. 

D

This act, shall disinherit him indeed: 

Here is the Will. 

B

It is well, Sir. 

D

Right, and well. 

Be you as carefull, now, for me. 

B

My life, Sir, 

Is not more tenderd, I am onely yours. 


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Page No 85


D

How does he? will he die shortly, think'st thou? 

B

I feare 

He will outlast May. 

D

To day? 

B

No, lastout May, Sir, 

D

Couldst thou not give him a dram? 

B

O by no meanes, Sir. 

D

Nay, I will not bid you. 

E

This is a knaue, I see. 

B

How, Signior Voltore! did he heare me? 

E

Parasite, 

B

Who is that? O, Sir, most timely welcome  

E

Scarce, 

To the discouery of your tricks, I feare. 

You are his, onely? and mine, also? are you not? 


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B

Who? I, Sir? 

E

You, Sir. What deuise is this 

About a Will? 

B

A plot for you, Sir. 

E

Come, 

Put not your foysts upon me, I shall sent them. 

B

Did you not heare it? 

E

Yes, I heare, Corbaccio 

Hath made your Patron, there, his heire. 

B

It is true, 

By my deuise, drawne to it by my plot, 

With hope  

E

Your Patron should reciprocate? 

And, you have promis'd? 

B

For your good, I did, Sir. 

Nay more, I told his son, brought, hid him here, 

Where he might heare his father passe the deed: 

Being perswaded to it, by this thought, Sir, 

That the vnnaturallnesse, first, of the act, 

And then, his fathers oft disclayming in him, 

Which I did meane to helpe on, would sure enrage him 

To do some violence upon his parent, 

On which the law should take sufficient hold, 

And you be stated in a double hope: 

Truth be my comfort, and my conscience, 


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My onely ayme was, to dig you a fortune 

Out of these two, old, rotten Sepulchers  

E

I cry thee mercy Mosca. 

B

Worth your patience, 

And your great merit, Sir. And, see the change! 

E

Why? what successe? 

B

Most happlesse! you must helpe, Sir. 

Whilst we expected the old Rauen, in comes 

Coruino's wife, sent hether, by her husband  

E

What, with a present? 

B

No, Sir, On visitation; 

(I will tell you how, anone) and, staying long, 

The youth, he growes impatient, rushes forth, 

Seizeth the lady, wound's me, makes her sweare 

(Or he would murder her, that was his vow) 

To affirme my patron would have done her rape: 

Which how vnlike it is, you see! and, hence, 

With that pretext, he is gone, to accuse his father; 

Defame my Patron; defeate you  

E

Where is her husband? 

Let him be sent for, streight. 

B

Sir, I will go fetch him. 

E

Bring him, to the Scrutineo. 


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B

Sir, I Will. 

E

This must be stopt. 

B

O, you do nobly, Sir. 

Alasse, it was labor'd all, Sir, for your good; 

Nor was there want of councell, in the plot: 

But fortune can, at any time, ore throw 

The proiects of a hundred learned Clearkes, Sir. 

D

What is that? 

E

Wilt please you, Sir, to go along? 

B

Patron, go in, and pray for our successe. 

A

Need makes deuotion; Heauen your labor blesse. 

Act 4

Scene 4.1

F

I told you, Sir, it was a plot: you see 

What obseruation is. You mention'd me, 

For some instructions: I will tell you, Sir, 

(Since we are met, here, in this height of Venice) 

Some few perticulars, I have set downe, 

Onely, for this meridian, fit to be knowne 

Of your crude Trauailer, and they are these. 

I will not touch, Sir, at your phrase, or clothes, 

For they are old. 


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Page No 89


G

Sir, I have better. 

F

Pardon 

I meant, as they are Theames. 

G

O, Sir, proceed: 

I will slander you no more of wit, good Sir. 

F

First, for your garbe, it must be graue, and serious, 

Very reseru'd, and lock't; not tell a secret, 

On any termes, not to your father; scarse 

A fable, but with caution; make sure choise 

Both of your company, and discourse; beware, 

You neuer speake a truth  

G

How? 

F

Not to strangers, 

For those be they, you must conuerse with, most; 

Others I would not know, Sir, but, at distance, 

So as I still might be a sauer, in them: 

You shall have tricks, else, past upon you, hourely. 

And then, for your Religion, professe none; 

But wonder, at the diuersity of all; 

And, for your part, protest, were there no other 

But simply the Lawes, of the Land, you could content you: 

Nic: Machiauell, and Monsieur Bodine, both, 

Were of this minde. Then, must you learne the vse, 

And handling of your siluer forke, at meales; 

The mettall of your glasse  These are maine matters, 

With your Italian, and to know the hower, 

When you must eat your melons, and your figges. 

G

Is that a point of State, too? 

F


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Page No 90


Here it is, 

For your Venetian, if he see a man 

Preposterous, in the least, he has him straight; 

He has: he strippes him. I will acquaint you, Sir, 

I now have liu'd here (it is some fourteene monthes) 

Within the first weeke, of my landing here, 

All tooke me for a Citizen of Venice: 

I knew the formes, so well  

G

And nothing else. 

F

I had read Contarene, tooke me a house, 

Dealt with my Iewes, to furnish it with moueables  

Well, if I could but finde one man  one man, 

To mine own heart, whome I durst trust  I would  

G

What? what, Sir? 

F

Make him rich; make him a fortune: 

He should not think, againe. I would command it. 

G

As how? 

F

With certaine proiects, that I have: 

Which, I may not discouer. 

G

If I had 

But one to wager with, I would lay odds, now, 

He tells me, instantly. 

F

One is, (and that 

I care not greatly, who knowes) to serue the State 

Of Venice, with red herrings, for three yeares, 

And at a certaine rate, from Roterdam, 

Where I have correspendence. There is a letter, 


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Sent me from one of the States, and to that purpose; 

He cannot write his name, but that is his marke. 

G

He is a Chaundler? 

F

No, a Cheesemonger. 

There are some other two, with whome I treate 

About the same negotiation; 

And  I will vndertake it: For, it is thus, 

I will do it with ease, I have cast it all. Your hoigh 

Carries but three men in her, and a boy; 

And she shall make me three returnes, a yeare: 

So, if there come but one of three, I saue, 

If two, I can defalke. But, this is now, 

If my mayne proiect faile. 

G

Then, you have otheres? 

I should be loath to draw the subtill ayre 

F

Of such a place, without my thousand aymes. 

I will not dissemble, Sir, where ere I come, 

I love to be consideratiue; and, it is true, 

I have, at my free houres, thought upon 

Some certaine Goods, unto the State of Venice, 

Which I do call my Cautions: and, Sir, which 

I meane (in hope of pension) to propound 

To the great Councell, then unto the Forty, 

So to the Ten. My meanes are made already  

G

By whome? 

F

Sir, one, that though his place be obscure, 

Yet, he can sway, and they will heare him. He is 

A Commandadore. 

G

What, a common sergeant? 


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Page No 92


F

Sir, such, as they are, put it in their mouthes, 

What they should say, sometimes: as well as greater. 

I think I have my notes, to shew you  

G

Good, Sir. 

F

But, you shall sweare unto me, on your gentry, 

Not to anticipate  

G

I, Sir? 

F

Nor reueale 

A circumstance  My paper is not with me. 

G

O, but, you can remember, Sir. 

F

My first is 

Concerning Tinderboxes. You must know, 

No family is, here, without its boxe; 

Now Sir, it being so portable a thing, 

Put case, that you, or I were ill affected 

Unto the State: Sir, with it, in our pockets, 

Might not I go into the Arsenale? 

Or you? come out againe? and none the wiser? 

G

Except your selfe, Sir. 

F

Go to, then. I, therefore, 

Aduertise to the State, how fit it were, 

That none, but such as were knowne Patriots, 

Sound lovers of their country, should be sufferd 

To enioy them in their houses: And, euen those, 

Seald, at some office, and at such a bignesse, 


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As might not lurke in pockets. 

G

Admirable! 

F

My next is, how to enquire, and be resolu'd, 

By present demonstration, whether a Ship, 

Newly arriued from Soria, or from 

And suspected part of all the Leuant, 

Be guilty of the Plague: And, where they vse 

To lie out forty, fifty dayes, sometimes, 

About the Lazaretto, for their triall; 

I will saue that charge, and losse unto the merchant, 

And, in an houre, cleare the doubt. 

G

Indeede, Sir? 

F

Or  I will loose my labour. 

G

``My faith, that is much. 

F

Nay, Sir, conceiue me. It will cost me, in onions, 

Some thirty Liu'res  

G

Which is one pound sterling. 

F

Beside my waterworkes: For this I do, Sir. 

First, I bring in your ship, 'twixt two brickwalles; 

(But those the State shall venter) on the one 

I straine me a fayre tarrepaulin; and, in that, 

I stick my onions, cut in halfes: the other 

Is full of loope holes, out at which, I thrust 

The noses of my bellowes; and, those bellowes 

I keepe, with waterworkes, in perpetuall motion, 

Which is the easi'st matter of a hundred.) 

Now, Sir, your onion, which doth naturally 


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Attract the infection, and your bellowes, blowing 

The aire upon him, will shew (instantly) 

By his chang'd colour, if there be contagion; 

Or else, remaine as faire, as at the first: 

Now it is knowne, it is nothing. 

G

You are right, Sir. 

F

I would, I had my note. 

G

'Faith, so would I: 

But, you have done well, for once, Sir. 

F

Were I false, 

Or would be made so, I could shew you reasons, 

How I could sell this State, now, to the Turke; 

Spight of their Galleys, or their  

G

Pray you, Sir Poll. 

F

I have them not, about me. 

G

That I fear'd. 

They are there, Sir? 

F

No. This is my Diary, 

Wherein I note my actions of the day. 

G

'Pray you, let us see, Sir. What is here? Notandum, 

A Rat had gnawne my spurlethers; notwithstanding, 

I put on new, and did go forth: but, first, 

I threw three beanes ouer the threshold. Item, 

I went, and bought two toothpickes, whereof one 


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I burst, immediatly, in a discourse 

With a dutch Merchant, about Ragion del stato. 

From him, I went, and payd a moccinigo, 

For peecing my silke stockings; by the way, 

I cheapend sprats: and at St Markes, I vrin'd. 

'Faith, these are politique notes! 

F

Sir, I do slippe 

No action of my life, thus, but I quote it. 

G

Beleeue me, it is wise! 

F

Nay, Sir, read forth. 

Scene 4.2

H

Where should this loose Knight be, trow? sure he is hous'd. 

K

Why, then he is fast. 

H

Aye, he plaies both, with me: 

I pray you, stay. This heate will do more harme 

To my complexion, then his heart is worth; 

(I do not care to hinder, but to take him) 

How it comes of! 

W

My maister is, yonder. 

H

Where? 

W

With a yong Gentleman. 


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H

That same is the party, 

In mans apparell. 'Pray you, Sir, iog my Knight: 

I will be tender to his reputation, 

How euer he demerit. 

F

My Lady! 

G

Where? 

F

It is she indeed Sir, you shall know her. She is, 

Were she not mine, a Lady of that merite, 

For fashion, and behauiour; and, for beauty 

I durst compare  

G

It seemes, you are not iealous, 

That dare commend her. 

F

Nay, and for discourse  

G

Beeing your wife, she cannot misse that. 

F

Madame, 

Here is a Gentleman, 'pray you, vse him, fayrely, 

He seemes a youth, but he is  

H

None? 

F

Yes, one 

Has put his face, as soone, into the world  


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H

You meane, as early? but to day? 

F

How is this? 

H

Why in this habit, Sir, you apprehend me. 

Well M r Wouldbee, this doth not become you; 

I had thought, the odour, Sir, of your good name, 

Had beene more precious to you; that you would not 

Have done this dire massacre, on your honour; 

One of your grauitie, and ranke, besides: 

But, Knights, I see, care little for the oath 

They make to Ladies; chiefely their own Ladies. 

F

Now by my Spurres (the Symbole of my Knighthood) 

G

(Lord! how his brayne is humbled, for an oath) 

F

I reach you not. 

H

Right, Sir, your politie 

May beare it through, thus. Sir, a word with you. 

I would be loath, to contest, publikely, 

With any Gentlewoman or to seeme 

Froward, or violent (as the Courtier sayes) 

It comes too neare rusticity, in a Lady, 

Which I would shun, by all meanes: and, howeuer 

I may deserue from Mr Wouldbee, yet, 

To have one fayre Gentlewoman, thus, be made 

The vnkind instrument, to wrong another, 

And one she knowes not; aye, and to perseuer: 

In my poore iudgement, is not warranted 

From being a solo ecisme in our sexe, 

If not in manners. 

G

How is this! 


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F

Sweete Madame, 

Come nearer to your ayme. 

H

Mary, and will, Sir. 

Since you prouoke me, with your impudence, 

And laughter of your light landSyren, here, 

Your Sporus, your Hermaphrodite  

G

What is here: 

Poe+tique fury, and Historique stormes? 

F

The Gentleman, beleeue it, is of worth, 

And of our Nation. 

H

Aye, your whiteFriars nation? 

Come, I blush for you, M r Wouldbee, I; 

And am asham'd, you should have no more forehead, 

Then, thus, to be the Patron, or Saint George 

To a lewd harlot, a base fricatrice, 

A female deuill, in a male outside. 

F

Nay, 

And you be such a one! I must bid, adieu 

To your delights. The case appeares too liquide. 

H

Aye, you may carry it cleare, with your Stateface; 

But, for your Carniuale Concupiscence, 

Who here is fled, for liberty of conscience, 

From furious persecution of the Marshall, 

Her will I disc'ple. 

G

This is fine, In faith! 

And do you vse this, often? is this part 

Of your wits exercise, against you have occasion? 

Madam  


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H

Go to, Sir. 

G

Do you heare me, Lady? 

Why, if your Knight have set you to begge shirts, 

Or to inuite me home, you might have done it 

A nearer way, by farre: 

H

This cannot worke you, 

Out of my snare. 

G

Why? am I in it, then? 

Indeed, your husband told me, you were fayre, 

And so you are; onely, your nose enclines 

(That side, that is next the Sunne) to the Queeneapple: 

H

This cannot be indur'd, by any patience. 

Scene 4.3

B

What is the matter, Madame? 

H

If the Senate 

Right not my quest, in this; I will protest them, 

To all the world, no Aristocracye. 

B

What is the iniurie, Lady? 

H

Why, the callet, 

You told me of, here I have ta'ne disguis'd. 


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B

Who? this? What meanes your Ladiship? The creature 

I mention'd to you, is apprehended, now, 

Before the Senate, you shall see her  

H

Where? 

B

I will bring you to her. This yong Gentleman 

I saw him land, this morning, at the Port. 

H

Is it possible! how has my iudgement wander'd? 

Sir, I must, blushing, say to you, I have err'd: 

And plead your pardon. 

G

What! more changes, yet? 

H

I hope, you have not the malice to remember 

A Gentlewomans passion. If you stay, 

In Venice, here, please you to vse me, Sir  

B

Will you goe, Madam? 

H

'Pray you, Sir, vse me. In faith, 

The more you vse me the more I shall conceiue, 

You have forgot our quarrell. 

G

This is rare! 

Sir Politique Wouldbee? No, Sir Politique Baud. 

To bring me, thus, acquainted with his wife! 

Well, wise Sir Pol: since you have practis'd, thus, 

Upon my freshmanship, I will trie your salthead, 

What proofe it is against a counterplot. 


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Scene 4.4

E

Well, now you know the carriage of the businesse, 

Your constancy is all, that is requir'd 

Unto the safety of it. 

B

Is the lie 

Safely conuai'd amongst us? Is that sure? 

Knowes euery man his burden? 

C

Yes. 

B

Then, shrinke not. 

C

But, knowes the Aduocate the truth? 

B

O, Sir, 

By no meanes. I deuis'd a formall tale, 

That salu'd your reputation. But, be valiant, Sir. 

C

I feare no one, but him; that, this his pleading 

Should make him stand for a coheire  

B

Cohalter, 

Hang him: we will but vse his tongue, his noise, 

As we do Croakers, here. 

C

Aye, what shall he do? 

B

When we have done, you meane? 


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C

Yes. 

B

Why, we will think, 

Sell him for Mummia, he is halfe dust already. 

Do not you smile, to see this Buffalo, 

How he does sport it with his head?  I should 

If all were well, and past. Sir, onely you 

Are here, that shall enioy the crop of all, 

And these not know for whome they toile. 

D

Aye, peace. 

B

But you shall eate it. Much. Worshipfull Sir, 

Mercury sit upon your thundring tongue, 

Or the French Hercules, and make your language 

As conquering as his club, to beate along, 

(As with a tempest) flat, our aduersaries; 

But, much more, yours, Sir. 

E

Here they come, have done. 

B

I have another witnesse, if you neede, Sir, 

I can produce. 

E

Who is it? 

B

Sir, I have her. 

Scene 4.5

O

The like of this the Senate neuer heard of. 


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M

It will come most strange to them, when we report it. 

O

The Gentlewoman has beene euer held 

Of vnreproued name. 

N

So has the youth. 

O

The more vnnaturall part that of his father. 

M

More, of the husband. 

L

I not know to give 

His act a name, it is so monstrous! 

O

But the Impostor, he is a thing created 

To exceed example! 

L

And all after times! 

M

I neuer heard a true voluptuary. 

Discrib'd, but him. 

N

Appeare yet those were cited? 

V

All, but the old magnifico, Volpone. 

L


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Why is not he here? 

B

Please your Fatherhoods, 

Here is his Avuocate. Himselfe is, so weake, 

So feeble  

O

What are you? 

J

His Parasite, 

His Knaue, his Pandar  I beseech the Court, 

He may be forc'd to come, that your graue eies 

May beare strong witnesse of his strange impostures. 

E

Upon my faith, and credit, with your vertues, 

He is not able to endure the ayre. 

M

Bring him, howe euer. 

N

We will see him. 

O

Fetch him. 

E

Your Fatherhoodes fit pleasures be obey'd, 

But sure, the sight will rather mooue your pittyes, 

Then indignation; may it please the Court, 

In the meane time, he may be heard in me: 

I know this Place most voide of preiudice, 

And therefore craue it, since we have no reason 

To feare our truth should hurt our cause. 

N

Speake free. 


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E

Then know, most honor'd Fathers, I must now 

Discouer, to your strangely abused eares, 

The most prodigious, and most frontlesse piece 

Of solid impudence, and trechery, 

That euer vicious nature yet brought forth 

To shame the State of Venice. This lewd woman 

(That wants no artificiall lookes, or teares, 

To helpe the visor, she has now put on) 

Hath long beene knowne a close adultresse, 

To that lasciuious youth there, not suspected, 

I say, but knowne; and taken, in the act, 

With him; and by this man, the easie husband, 

Pardon'd: whose timelesse bounty makes him, now, 

Stand here, the most vnhappy, innocent person, 

That euer mans own vertue made accus'd. 

For these, not knowing how to owe a gift 

Of that deare grace, but with their shame; being plac'd 

So aboue all powers of their gratitude, 

Began to hate the benefit; and, in place 

Of thankes, deuise to extirpe the memory 

Of such an act: wherein, I pray your Fatherhoods, 

To obserue the malice, yea, the rage of creatures 

Discouer'd in their euils; and what heart 

Such take, euen, from their crimes. But that, anone, 

Will more appeare. This Gentleman, the father, 

Hearing of this foule fact, with many others, 

That dayly strooke at his tootender eares, 

And, grieu'd in nothing more, then that he could not 

Preserue himselfe a parent (his sons ills 

Growing to that strange floud) at last decreed 

To disinherit him. 

L

These be strange turnes! 

M

The yong mans fame was euer faire, and honest. 

E

So much more full of danger is his vice, 

That can beguile so, vnder shade of vertue. 

But as I said (my honour'd Sires) his father 

Having this setled purpose, (by what meanes 

To him betray'd, we know not) and this day 

Appointed for the deed, that Parricide, 

(I cannot stile him better) by confederacy 

Preparing this his Paramour, to be there, 


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Entred Volpone's house (who was the man 

Your Fatherhoods must vnderstand, design'd 

For the inheritance) there, sought his father; 

But, with what purpose sought he him, my Sires? 

(I tremble to pronounce it, that a son 

Unto a father, and to such a father 

Should have so foule, felonious intent) 

It was, to murder him. When, being preuented 

By his more happy absence, what then did he? 

Not check his wicked thoughts; no, now new deedes: 

(Mischiefe doth euer ende. Where it begins) 

An act of horror, Fathers! he drag'd forth 

The aged Gentleman, that had there lien, bedrid, 

Three yeares, and more, out off his innocent couch, 

Naked upon the floore, there left him; wounded 

His seruant in the face; and, with this strumpet 

The stale to his for'gd practise, who was glad 

To be so actiue, (I shall here desire 

Your Fatherhoods to note but my collections, 

As most remarkable) thought, at once, to stop 

His fathers ends; discredit his free choise, 

In the old Gentleman; redeeme themselues, 

By laying infamy, upon this man 

To whome, with blushing, they should woe their liues. 

L

What proofes have you of this? 

J

Most honour'd Fathers, 

I humbly craue, there be no credite giuen 

To this mans mercenary tongue. 

M

Forbeare. 

J

His soule moues in his face. 

N

O, Sir. 

J

This fellow, 

For six sols more, would pleade against his Maker. 


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L

You do forget your selfe. 

E

Nay, nay, graue Fathers, 

Let him have scope; can any man imagine 

That he will spare his accuser, that would not 

Have spar'd his parent? 

L

Well, produce your proofes. 

I

I would, I could forget, I were a creature. 

E

Signior Corbaccio. 

O

What is he? 

E

The father. 

M

Has he had an oath? 

V

Yes. 

D

What must I do now? 

V

Your testimony is crau'd. 

D

Speake to the knaue? 


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I will have my mouth, first, stopt with earth; my heart 

Abhors his knowledge: I disclaime in him 

L

But, for what cause? 

D

The mere portent of nature. 

He is an vtter stranger to my loynes. 

J

Have they made you to this? 

D

I will not heare thee, 

Monster of men, swine, goate, wolfe, Parricide, 

Speake not, thou viper. 

J

Sir, I will sit downe, 

And rather wish my innocence should suffer, 

Then I resist the authority of a father. 

E

Signior Coruino. 

M

This is strange! 

L

Who is this? 

V

The husband. 

O

Is he sworne? 

V

He is. 


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N

Speake then. 

C

This woman (please your Fatherhoods) is a whore, 

Of most hot exercise, more then a partrich, 

Upon record  

L

No more. 

C

Neighes, like a gennet. 

V

Preserue the honour of the Court. 

C

I shall, 

And modesty of your most reuerend eares. 

And, yet, I hope that I may say, these eyes 

Have seene her glew'd unto that peece of Cedar; 

That fine welltimber'd gallant: and that, here, 

The letters may be read, through the horne, 

That make the story perfect. 

B

Excellent, Sir. 

C

There is no harme in this, now, is there? 

B

None. 

C

Or if I said, I hop'd that she were onward 

To her damnation, if there be a hell 

Greater then whore, and woman; a good Christian 

May make the doubt. 


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N

His griefe hath made him frantique. 

L

Remoue him, hence. 

M

Looke to the woman. 

C

Rare! 

Prettily fain'd! againe! 

O

Stand from about her. 

L

Give her the ayre. 

N

What can you say? 

B

My wound 

(May it please your wisdomes) speakes for me, receiu'd 

In ayde of my good Patron, when he mist 

His sought for father, when that welltaught dame 

Had her Qu: giuen her, to crie out a rape. 

J

O, Most lay'd impudence! Fathers. 

N

Sir, be silent, 

You had your hearing free, so must they theirs. 

M

I do begin to doubt the imposture, here. 


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O

This woman, has too many moodes. 

E

Graue Fathers, 

She is a creature, of a most profest, 

And prostituted lewdnesse. 

C

Most impetuous, 

Vnsatisfied, graue Fathers. 

E

May her faynings 

Not take your wisdomes: but, this day, she bayted 

A stranger, a graue Knight, with her loose eeyes, 

And more lasciuious kisses. This man saw them 

Together, on the water, in a Gondola. 

B

Here is the Lady herselfe, that saw them too, 

Without; who, then, had in the open streetes 

Pursew'd them, but for sauing her Knights honour. 

L

Produce that Lady. 

M

Let her come. 

O

These things 

They strike, with wonder! 

N

I am turn'd a stone! 

Scene 4.6

B


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Be resolute, Madam. 

H

Aye, this same is she. 

Out, thou Chameleon harlot; now, thine eyes 

Vie teares with the Hyæna: darst thou looke 

Upon my wronged face? I crie your pardons. 

I feare, I have (forgettingly) transgrest 

Against the dignity of the Court  

M

No, Madame. 

H

And beene exorbitant  

O

You have not, Lady. 

These proofes are strong. 

H

Surely, I had no purpose, 

To scandalize your Honors, or my sexes. 

N

We do beleeue it. 

H

Surely, you may beleeue it. 

M

Madame, we do. 

H

Indeede, you may; my breeding 

Is not so course  

O

We know it. 


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H

To offend 

With pertinacy  

N

Lady. 

H

Such a presence; 

No, surely. 

L

We well think it. 

H

You may think it. 

L

Let her o'recome. What witnesses have you, 

To make good your report? 

J

Our consciences: 

I

And heauen, that neuer fayles the innocent. 

O

These are no testimonies. 

J

Not, in your Courts, 

Where multitude, and clamour, ouercomes. 

L

Nay, then you do waxe insolent. 

E

Here, here, 

The testimony comes, that will conuince, 


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And put to vtter dumbnesse, their bold tongues. 

See here, graue Fathers, here is the Rauisher, 

The Rider on mens wiues, the great Impostor, 

The grand Voluptuary: Do you not think, 

These limbes should affect Venery? or these eyes 

Couet a concubine? 'Pray you, marke these hands, 

Are they not fit to stroke a Ladies brests? 

Perhaps, he doth dissemble. 

J

So he does. 

E

Would you have him tortur'd? 

J

I would have him prou'd. 

E

Best trie him, then, with goades, or burning Irons; 

Put him to the strappado; I have heard, 

The Rack hath cur'd the goute; faith, give it him, 

And helpe him of a malady, be courteous: 

I will vndertake, before these honor'd Fathers, 

He shall have, yet, as many left diseases, 

As she has knowne adulterers, or thou strumpets. 

O, my most equall Hearers, if these deedes, 

Acts, of this bold, and most exorbitant straine, 

May passe with suffrance; what one Cittizen, 

But owes the forfeit of his life, yea fame, 

To him that dares traduce him? Which of you 

Are safe, my honord Fathers? I would aske 

(With leaue of your graue Fatherhoods) if their plot 

Have any face, or colour like to truth? 

Or if, unto the dullest nostrill, here, 

It smell not ranke, and most abhorred flaunder? 

I craue your care of this good Gentleman, 

Whose life is much indanger'd, by their fable; 

And, as for them, I will conclude with this, 

That vicious persons when they are hot, and flesh'd 

In impious acts, their constancy abounds: 

Damn'd deedes are done with greatest confidence. 

L

Take them to custody, and seuer them. 


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M

It is pitty, two such prodigies should liue. 

L

Let the old Gentleman be return'd, with care; 

I am sory, our credulity wrong'd him. 

O

These are two creatures! 

N

I have an earthquake in me! 

M

Their shame (euen in their cradles) fled their faces. 

O

You have done a worthy seruice to the State, Sir, 

In their discouery. 

L

You shall heare, ere night, 

What punishment the Court decrees upon them. 

E

We thanke your Fatherhoods. How like you it? 

B

Rare. 

I would have your tongue, Sir, tipt with gold, for this; 

I would have you be the heyre to the whole Citty; 

The earth I would have want men, ere you want liuing: 

They are bount to erect your Statue, in St Markes. 

Signior Coruino, I would have you goe, 

And shew your selfe, that you have conquer'd. 

C

Yes. 

B


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It was much better, that you should professe 

Your selfe a cuckold, thus; then that the other 

Should have beene prou'd. 

C

Nay I consider'd that; 

Now it is her fault: 

B

Then, it had beene yours. 

C

True, I do doubt this Aduocate, still. 

B

In faith, 

You need not, I dare ease you of that care. 

C

I trust thee, Mosca. 

B

As your, own soule, Sir. 

D

Mosca. 

B

Now for your businesse, Sir. 

D

How? have you busines? 

B

Yes, yours, Sir. 

D

O, none else? 


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B

None else, not I. 

D

Be carefull, then. 

B

Rest you, with both your eies, Sir. 

D

Dispatch it, 

B

Instantly. 

D

And looke, that all, 

Whateuer, be put in, iewells, plate, moneyes, 

Householdstuffe, bedding, curtines. 

B

Curtinerings, Sir. 

Onely, the Aduocates fee must be deducted. 

D

I will pay him, now: you will be too prodigall. 

B

Sir. I must tender it. 

D

Two Cecchines is well? 

B

No, sixe, Sir. 

D

It is too much. 


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B

He talk'd a great while, 

You must consider that, Sir. 

D

Well, there is three  

B

I will give it him. 

D

Do so, and there is for thee. 

B

Bountifull bones! What horride strange offence 

Did he commit against nature, in his youth, 

Worthy this age? You see, Sir, how I worke 

Unto your ends; take you no notice. 

E

No, 

I will leaue you. 

B

All, is yours; the Deuill, and all, 

Good Aduocate. Madame, I will bring you home. 

H

No, I will go see your Patron. 

B

That you shall not: 

I will tell you, why. My purpose is, to vrge 

My patron to reforme his Will; and, for 

The zeale, you have shew'n to day, whereas before 

You were but third, or fourth, you shall be now 

Put in the first; which would appeare as beg'd, 

If you be present. Therefore  

H

You shall sway me. 


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Act 5

Scene 5.1

A

Well, I am here; and all this brunt is past: 

I ne're was in dislike with my disguise, 

Till this fled moment; here, it was good, in priuate, 

But, in your publike, Caue, whilst I breath. 

'Fore God, my left legge began to have the crampe; 

And I appre'nded, straight, some power had strooke me 

With a dead Palsey: Well, I must be merry, 

And shake it off. A many of these feares 

Would put me into some villanous disease, 

Should they come thick upon me: I will preuent them. 

Give me a boule of lusty wine, to fright 

This humor from my heart; (Hum, hum, hum) 

It is almost gone, already: I shall conquer. 

Any deuise, now, of rare, ingenious knauery, 

That would possesse me with a violent laughter, 

Would make me up, againe: So, so, so, so. 

This heate is life; it is blood, by this time: Mosca! 

Scene 5.2

B

How now, Sir? does the day looke cleare againe? 

Are we recouerd? and wrought out of error, 

Into our way? to see our path, before us? 

Is our trade free, once more? 

A

Exquisite Mosca! 

B

Was it not carry'd learnedly? 

A

And stoutly. 

Good wits are greatest in extremities. 

B


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It were a folly, beyond thought, to trust 

Any grand act unto a cowardly spirit: 

You are not taken with it, enough, me thinkes? 

A

O, more, then if I had enioy'd the wench: 

The pleasure of all womankind is not like it. 

B

Why, now you speake, Sir. We must, here be fixt; 

Here, we must rest; this is our maisterpeice; 

We cannot think, to goe beyond this. 

A

True. 

Thou hast playd thy prise, my precious Mosca. 

B

Nay Sir, 

To gull the Court  

A

And, quite diuert the torrent, 

Upon the innocent. 

B

Yes, and to make 

So rare a Musique, out of Discordes  

A

Right. 

That, yet, to me is the strangest! how thou hast borne it! 

That these (being so diuided amongst them selues) 

Should not sent somewhat, or in me, or thee, 

Or doubt their own side. 

B

True. They will not see it; 

Too much light blinds them, I think: each of them 

Is so possest, and stuft with his own hopes, 

That any thing, unto the contrary, 

Neuer so true, or neuer so apparent, 

Neuer so palpable, they will resist it  


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A

Like a temptation of the Deuill. 

B

Right Sir. 

Merchants may talke of trade, and your great Signiors 

Of land, that yeelds well; but if Italy 

Have any glebe, more fruictfull, then these fellowes, 

I am deceiu'd. Did not your Aduocate rare? 

A

O, my most honor'd Fathers, my graue Fathers, 

Vnder correction of your Fatherhoods, 

What face of truth is, here? If these strange deedes 

May passe, most honour'd Fathers  I had much a do 

To forbeare laughing. 

B

It seem'd to me, you sweate, Sir. 

A

In troth, I did a little. 

B

But confesse, Sir, 

Were you not daunted? 

A

In good faith, I was 

A little in a mist; but not deiected: 

Neuer, but still my selfe. 

B

I think it, Sir. 

Now (so truth helpe me) I must needes say this, Sir, 

And, out of conscience; for your Aduocate: 

He has taken paynes, in faith, Sir, and deseru'd, 

In my poore iudgement, I speake it, vnder fauour, 

Not to contrary you, Sir, very richly  

Well  to be cosend. 


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A

Troth, and I think so too, 

By that I heard him, in the latter ende. 

B

O, but before, Sir; had you heard him, first, 

Draw it to certaine heads, then aggrauate, 

Then vse his vehement figures  I look'd stil, 

When he would shift a shirt; and, doing this 

Out of pure love, no hope of gaine  

A

It is right. 

I cannot answer him, Mosca, as I would, 

Not yet; but, for thy sake, at thy intreaty, 

I will beginne, euen now, to vexe them all: 

This very instant. 

B

Good, Sir. 

A

Call the Dwarfe,. 

And Eunuch, forth. 

B

Castrone, Nano. 

K

Here. 

A

Shall we have a Iig, now? 

B

What you please, Sir. 

A

Goe, 

Streight, give out, about the streetes, you two, 

That I am dead; do it, with constancy, 

Sadly, do you heare? impute it to the griefe 


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Of this late slander. 

B

What do you meane Sir? 

A

O, 

I shall have, instantly, my Vulture, Crow, 

Rauen, come flying hither (on the newes) 

To peck for carrion, my sheeWolfe, and all, 

Greedy, and full of expectation  

B

And then, to have it rauish'd from their mouths? 

A

It is true, I will have thee put on a gowne, 

And take upon thee, as thou wert mine heire; 

Shew them a Will; Open that chest, and reach 

Forth one of those, that has the Blankes. I will straight 

Put in thy name. 

B

It will be rare, Sir. 

A

Aye 

When they even gape, and finde themselues deluded, 

B

Yes. 

A

And, thou vse them skiruily. Dispatch, 

Get on thy gowne. 

B

But, what, Sir, if they aske 

After the body? 

A


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Say, it was corrupted, 

B

I will say it stunke, Sir; and was faine to have it 

Coffin'd up instantly, and sent away. 

A

Any thing, what thou wilt. Hold, here is my Will. 

Get thee a cap, a countbooke, pen and inke, 

Papers afore thee; sit, as thou wert taking 

An inuentory of parcells: I will get up, 

Behind the curtine, on a stoole, and hearken; 

Sometime, peepe ouer; see, how they do looke; 

With what degrees, their bloud doth leaue their faces; 

O, it will afford me a rare meale of laughter. 

B

Your Aduocate will turne starke dull, upon it. 

A

It will take of his Oratories edge. 

B

But your Clarissimo, old roundbacke, he 

Will crumpe you, like a hoglouse, with the touch. 

A

And what Coruino? 

B

O, Sir, looke for him, 

To morrow morning, with a rope, and a dagger, 

To visite all the streetes; he must runne madd. 

My Lady too, that came into the Court, 

To beare false witnesse, for your Worship. 

A

Yes, 

And kist me 'fore the Fathers; when my face 

Flow'd all with oyles. 

B


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And sweate  Sir. Why, your gold 

Is such another med'cine, it dries up 

All those offensiue sauors! It tranformes 

The most deformed, and restores them lovely, 

As it were the strange poe+ticall Girdle. IOVE 

Could not inuent, to himselfe, a shroud more subtle, 

To passe Acrisius guardes. It is the thing 

Makes all the world her grace, her youth, her beauty. 

A

I think, she loves me. 

B

Who? the Lady, Sir? 

She is iealous of you. 

A

Dost thou say so? 

B

Hearke, 

There is some, already. 

A

Looke. 

B

It is the Vulture: 

He has the quickest sent. 

A

I will to my place, 

Thou, to thy posture, 

B

I am set. 

A

But, Mosca, 

Play the Artificer now, torture them, rarely. 


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Scene 5.3

E

How now, my Mosca? 

B

Turkie Carpets, nine  

E

Taking an inuentory? that is well. 

B

Two Sutes of bedding, Tissew  

E

Where is the Will? 

Let me read that, the while. 

D

So, set me downe: 

And get you home. 

E

Is he come, now, to trouble us? 

B

Of Cloth of gold, two more 

D

Is it done, Mosca? 

B

Of seuerall vellets, eight  

E

I like his care. 

D


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Dost thou not heare? 

C

Ha? is the houre come, Mosca? 

A

Aye, now, they muster. 

C

What does the Aduocate, here? 

Or this Corbaccio? 

D

What do these here? 

H

Mosca? 

Is his thred spunne? 

B

Eight Chests of Linnen  

A

O, 

My fine Dame wouldbee, too! 

C

Mosca, the Will, 

That I may shew it these, and rid hem hence. 

B

Six Chests of Diaper foure of Damasske  There. 

D

Is that the Will? 

B

DowneBeds, and Boulsters  


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A

Rare! 

Be busie still. Now, they begin to flutter: 

They neuer think of me. Looke, see, see, see! 

How their swift eies runne ouer the long deed, 

Unto the Name, and to the Legacies, 

What is bequeath'd them, there  

B

Ten Sutes of Hangings  

A

Aye, in their garters, Mosca. Now, their hopes 

Are at the gaspe. 

E

Mosca the heire? 

D

What is that? 

A

My Aduocate is dumbe, Looke to my Merchant, 

He has heard of some strange storme, a ship is lost: 

He faintes. My Lady will swoune. Old Glazeneies, 

He hath not reach'd his dispaire, yet. 

D

All these 

Are out of hope, I am sure the man. 

C

But, Mosca  

B

Two Cabinets. 

C

Is this in earnest? 

B


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One 

Of Ebony  

C

Or, do you but delude me? 

B

The other, Mother of Pearle  I am very busie. 

Good faith, it is a fortune throwne upon me  

Item, one Salt of Agat  not my seeking. 

H

Do you heare, Sir? 

B

A perfum'd Boxe  'pray you forbeare, 

You see I am troubled  made of an Onyx  

H

How! 

B

To morrow, or next day, I shall be at leasure, 

To talke with you all. 

C

Is this my large hopes issue? 

H

Sir, I must have a fayrer answere. 

B

Madame? 

Mary, and shall: 'pray you, fairely quit my house. 

Nay, raise no tempest with your lookes; but, hearke you: 

Remember, what your Ladyship offerd me, 

To put you in, an heire; go to, think on it. 

And what you said, eene your best Madames did 

For maintaynance, and why not you? Inough. 

Go home, and vse the poore Sir Poll. Your Knight, well; 

For feare I tell some riddles; Go, be melancholique. 


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A

O, my fine Deuill! 

C

Mosca, 'pray you a word. 

B

Lord! will not you take your dispatch hence, yet? 

Me thinkes (of all) you should have beene the example. 

Why should you stay, here? with what thought? what promise? 

Heare you; do not you know, I know you an asse? 

And, that you would; most faine, have beene a wittoll, 

If fortune would have let you? that you are 

A declar'd cuckold, on good termes? This Pearle, 

You will say, was yours? right. This Diamant? 

I will not deny it, but thanke you. Much here, else? 

It may be so. Why, think that these good workes 

May helpe to hide your bad: I will not betray you, 

Although you be but extraordinary, 

And have it onely in title, it sufficeth. 

Go home; be melancholique, too: or mad. 

A

Rare Mosca! how his villany becomes him. 

E

Certaine, he doth delude all these, for me. 

D

Mosca the heire? 

A

O, his fowre eies have found it. 

D

I am cosen'd, cheated, by a Parasiteslaue; 

Harlot, thou hast gul'd me. 

B

Yes, Sir. Stop your mouth, 

Or I shall draw the only tooth, is left. 

Are not you he, that filthy couetous wretch, 


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With the three legges, that, here, in hope of prey, 

Have, any time this three yeare, snuft about, 

With your most grou'ling nose; and would have hir'd 

Me, to the pois'ning of my Patron? Sir? 

Are not you he, that have, to day, in Court, 

Profess'd the disinheriting of your son? 

Periur'd your selfe? goe home, and die, and stinke; 

If you but croake a sillable, all comes out: 

Away, and call your porters, go, go stinke. 

A

Excellent varlet! 

E

Now, my faithfull Mosca, 

I finde thy constancie. 

B

Sir? 

E

Sincere. 

B

A Table 

Of Porphiry  I mar'le, you will be thus troublesome. 

A

Nay, leaue off now, they are gone. 

B

Why? who are you? 

What? who did send for you? O crie you mercy, 

Reuerend Sir: good faith, I am grieu'd for you, 

That any chance of mine should thus defeate 

Your (I must needs say) most deseruing trauailes: 

But, I protest, Sir, it was cast upon me, 

And I could, almost, wish to be without it, 

But, that the will of the dead must be obseru'd, 

Mary, my ioy is, that you need it not, 

You have a gift, Sir, (thanke your education) 

Will neuer let you want, while there are men, 

And malice to breed causes. Would I had 

But halfe the like, for all my fortune, Sir. 


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If I have any sutes (as I do hope, 

Things being so easie, and direct, I shall not) 

I will make bold with your obstreperous aide, 

(Conceiue me) for your fee, Sir. In meane time, 

You, that have so much law, I know have the conscience, 

Not to be couetous of what is mine. 

Good Sir, I thanke you, for my plate; it will helpe 

To set up a yong man. Good faith, you looke 

As you were costiue; best goe home, and purge, Sir, 

A

Bid him, eate lettice well: my witty mischiefe, 

Let me embrace thee. O, that I could now 

Transforme thee to a Venus  Mosca, goe, 

Streight, take my habite of Clarissimo, 

And walke the streets; be seene, torment them more: 

We must purseew, as well as plot. Who would 

Have lost this feast? 

B

I doubt, it will loose them. 

A

O, my recouery shall recouer all, 

That I could now but think on some disguise, 

To meete them in: and aske them questions. 

How I would vexe them still, at euery turne? 

B

Sir, I can fit you. 

A

Canst thou? 

B

Yes. I know 

One of the Commandadori, Sir, so like you, 

Him will I streight make drunke, and bring you his habite. 

A

A rare disguise, and answering thy braine! 

O, I will be a sharpe disease unto them. 


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B

Sir you must looke for curses  

A

Till they burst; 

The FOXE fares euer best, when he is curst. 

Scene 5.4

G

Am I inough disguis'd? 

V

I warrant you. 

G

All my ambition is to fright him, onely. 

V

If you could ship him away, twere excellent, 

To Zant, or to Alepo? 

G

Yes, and have his 

Aduentures put in the Booke of voyages. 

And his guld story registred, for truth? 

Well, Gentlemen, when I am in, a while; 

And that you think us warme in our discourse, 

Know your approaches. 

V

Trust it, to our care. 

G

'Saue you faire Lady. Is Sir Poll. within? 

W

I do not know, Sir. 

G


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'Pray you, say unto him, 

Here is a merchant, upon earnest businesse, 

Desires to speake with him. 

W

I will see, Sir. 

G

'Pray you. 

I see, the Family is all female, here. 

W

He says, Sir, he has waighty affaires of State, 

That now require him whole; some other time, 

You may possesse him. 

G

Pray you, say againe, 

If those require him whole; these will exact him, 

Whereof I bring him tideings. What might be 

His graue affaire of State, now? how, to make 

Bolognian sauseges, here, in Venice, sparing 

One of the Ingredients. 

W

Sir, he says, he knowes 

By your word tidings, that you are no Statesman, 

And therefore, wills you stay. 

G

Sweet, 'pray you returne him, 

I have not read so many Proclamations, 

And studied them, for words, as he has done  

But, here he deignes to come. 

F

Sir!! I must craue 

Your courteous pardon; There hath chanc'd (to day) 

Vnkinde disaster, 'twixt my Lady, and me: 

And I was penning my Apologie 

To give her satisfaction, as you came, now. 

G


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Sir, I am greiu'd, I bring you worse disaster; 

The Gentleman, you met at the Port, to day, 

That told you, he was newly arriu'd  

F

Aye, was 

A fugitiuePunke? 

G

No, Sir, a Spie, set on you, 

And he has made relation to the Senate, 

That you profest to him, to have a plot, 

To sell the State of Venice, to the Turke. 

F

O me. 

G

For which, warrants are sign'd by this time, 

To apprehend you, and to search your study, 

For papers  

F

Alasse, Sir. I have none, but notes, 

Drawne out of Playbookes 

G

All the better, Sir. 

F

And some Essayes. What shall I do? 

G

Sir, Best 

Conuay your selfe into a SugarChest; 

Or, if you could lie round, a Frayle were rare: 

And I could send you, aboard. 

F

Sir, I but talk'd so, 

For discourse sake, merely. 


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G

Hearke, they are there. 

F

I am a wretch, a wretch. 

G

What, will you do Sir? 

Have you nere a CurrenButt to leape into? 

They will put you to the Rack, you must be sodaine. 

F

Sir, I have an ingine  

V

Sir Politique Wouldbe? 

Where is he? 

F

That I have thought upon, before time. 

G

What is it? 

F

I shall ne're indure the torture. 

Mary, it is, Sir, of a Tortoyseshell, 

Apted, for these extremities: 'Pray you Sir, helpe me. 

Here, I have a place, Sir, to put back my leggs, 

Please you to lay it on, Sir, with this cap, 

And my black gloves, I will lie, Sir, like a Tortoyse, 

Till they are gone, 

G

And, call you this an ingine? 

F

Mine own deuise  Good Sir, bid my wiues women 

To burne my papers. 


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V

Where is he hid? 

We must, 

And will, sure, finde him. 

Which is his study? 

What 

Are you, Sir? 

G

I am a merchant, that came here 

To looke upon this Tortoyse. 

V

How? 

St Marke! 

What Beast is this? 

G

It is a Fish. 

V

Come out, here. 

G

Nay, you may strike him, Sir, and tread upon him: 

He will beare a cart. 

V

What, to runne ouer him? 

G

Yes. 

V

Let us iumpe, upon him; 

Can he not goe? 

G

He creepes Sir. 

V


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Let us see him creepe 

G

No, good Sir, you will hurt him. 

V

(Heart) I will see him creepe; or prick his gutts. 

Come out, here. 

G

'Pray you, Sir , (creepe a little) 

V

Forth. 

Yet furder. 

G

Good Sir. (creepe) 

V

We will see his leggs. 

Gods 'so he has garters! 

Aye, and gloves! 

Is this 

Your fearefull Tortoyse? 

G

Now, Sir Poll. We are euen; 

For your next proiect, I shall be prepar'd: 

I am sory, for the funerall of your notes, Sir. 

V

It were a rare motion, to be seene in Fleetestreet! 

Aye, in the Terme. 

Or Smithfield, in the Faire. 

Me thinkes, it is but a melancholique sight! 

G

Farewell, most politique Tortoyse. 

F


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Where is my Lady? 

Knowes she of this? 

W

I know not, Sir. 

F

Enquire. 

O, I shall be the fable of all feasts; 

The freight of the Gazetti; shipboies tale; 

And, which is worst, euen talke for Ordinaries. 

W

My Lady is come most melancholique, home, 

And says, Sir, she will straight to sea, for Physick. 

F

And I, to shunne, this place, and clime for euer; 

Creeping, with house, on back: and think it well, 

To shrinke my poore head, in my politique shell, 

Scene 5.5

A

Am I then like him? 

B

O, Sir, you are he: 

No man can seuer you. 

A

Good. 

B

But, what am I? 

A

'Fore heau'n, a braue Clarissimo, thou becom'st it! 

Pitty, thou wert not borne one. 


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B

If I hold 

My made one, it will be well. 

A

I will goe, and see 

What newes, first, at the Court. 

B

Do so. My FOXE 

Is out on his hole, and, ere he shall reenter, 

I will make him languish, in his borrow'd case, 

Except he come to composition, with me: 

Androgyno, Castrone, Nano. 

X

Here. 

B

Go, recreate your selues, abroad; go, sport: 

So, now I have the keies, and am possest. 

Since he will, needes, be dead, afore his time, 

I will burie him, or gaine by him; I am his heyre: 

And so will keepe me, till he share at least. 

To cosen him of all, were but a cheat 

Well plac'd; no man would construe it a sinne: 

Let his sport pay for it, this is call'd the FOXEtrap. 

Scene 5.6

D

They say, the Court is set. 

C

We must mainteine 

Our first tale good, for both our reputations. 

D

Why? mine is no tale: my son would, there, have kild me. 

C

That is true, I had forgot; Mine is, I am sure 


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But, for your Will, Sir. 

D

Aye, I will come upon him, 

For that, hereafter; now his Patron is dead. 

A

Signior Coruino! and Corbaccio! Sir, 

Much ioy unto you. 

C

Of what? 

A

The sodaine good, 

Dropt down upon you  

D

Where? 

A

(And, none knowes how) 

From old Volpone, Sir. 

D

Out, errant Knaue. 

A

Let not your too much wealth, Sir, make you furious. 

D

Away, thou varlet. 

A

Why Sir? 

D

Dost thou mock me? 


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A

You mock the world, Sir, did you not change Wills? 

D

Out, harlot. 

A

O! belike you are the man, 

Signior Coruino? 'faith, you carry it well; 

You grow not mad withall: I love your spirit. 

You are not ouerleauend, with your fortune. 

You should have some would swell, now, like a winefat, 

With such an Autumne  Did he give you all, Sir? 

D

Auoid, you Rascall. 

A

'Troth, your wife has shew'ne 

Her selfe a very woman; but, you are well, 

You need not care, you have a good estate, 

To beare it out Sir: better, by this chance. 

Except Corbaccio have a share? 

C

Hence varlet. 

A

You will not be a' knowne, Sir: it is wise, 

Thus do all Gam'sters, at all games, dissemble; 

No man will seeme to winne: here, comes my Vulture, 

Heauing his beake up in the ayre, and snuffing. 

Scene 5.7

E

Ovtstript thus, by a Parasite? a slaue? 

Would run on errands? and make less, for crums? 

Well, what I will do  

A

The Court stayes for your worship. 


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I ee'ne reioyce, Sir, at your worships happinesse, 

And, that it fell into so learned hands, 

That vnderstand the fingering. 

E

What do you meane? 

A

I meane to be a sutor to your worship, 

For the small tenement, out of reparations; 

That, at the end of your long row of houses, 

By the Piscaria: It was, in Volpone's time, 

Your predecessor, e're he grew diseas'd, 

A handsome, pretty, custom'd baudyhouse, 

As any was in Venice (none disprais'd) 

But fell with him; His body, and that house 

Decay'd, together. 

E

Come, Sir, leaue your prating. 

A

Why, if your worship give me but your hand, 

That I may have the refusall; I have done. 

It is a meere toy, to you, Sir; candle rents: 

As your learn'd worship knowes  

E

What do I know? 

A

Mary, no end of your wealth, Sir, God decrease it. 

E

Mistaking knaue! what, mockst thou my misfortune? 

A

His blessing on your heart, Sir, would it were more. 

Now, to my first, againe; at the next corner. 

(MOSCA passant)


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Scene 5.8

D

See, in our habite! see the impudent varlet! 

C

That I could shoote mine eyes at him, like gunstones. 

A

But, is this true, Sir, of the Parasite? 

D

Againe, to afflict us? Monster! 

A

In good faith, Sir, 

I am hartily greeu'd, a beard of your graue length 

Should be so ouerreach'd. I neuer brook'd 

That Parasites hayre, me thought his nose should cosen, 

There still was somewhat, in his looke, did promise 

The bane of a Clarissimo. 

D

Knaue  

A

Me thinkes, 

Yet you, that are so traded in the world, 

A witty merchant, the fine bird, Coruino, 

That have such morall Emblemes on your name, 

Should not have sung your shame; and dropt your cheese: 

To let the FOXE laugh at your emptinesse. 

C

Sirrah, you think, the priuiledge of the place, 

And your red saucy cap, that seemes (to me) 

Nayl'd to your iolthead, with those two Cecchines, 

Can warrant your abuses; come you, hither: 

You shall perceiue, Sir, I dare beate you. Approch. 

A


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No hast, Sir, I do know your valure, well, 

Since you durst publish what you are, Sir. 

C

Tarry, 

I would speake , with you. 

A

Sir, another time  

C

Nay, now. 

A

O God, Sir! I were a wise man 

Would stand the fury of a distracted cuckold. 

D

What! come againe? 

A

Upon them, Mosca; saue me. 

D

The ayre is infected, where he breathes. 

C

Lets fly him. 

A

Excellent Basiliske! Turne upon the Vulture. 

Scene 5.9

E

Well, fleshflie, it is Sommer with you now; 

Your Winter will come on. 

B


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Good Aduocate, 

'Pray thee, not rayle, nor threaten out of place, thus; 

Thou wilt make a solo ecisme (as Madam sayes) 

Get you a biggen, more: your brayne breakes loose. 

E

Well, Sir. 

A

Would you have me beate the insolent slaue? 

Throwe durt, upon his first good cloathes? 

E

This same 

Is, doubtlesse, some Familiar! 

A

Sir, the Court, 

In troth, stayes for you. I am madd, a Mule, 

That neuer read Iustinian, should get up, 

And ride an Aduocate. Had you no quirk, 

To auoide gullage, Sir., by such a creature? 

I hope you do but iest; he has not done it: 

This is but confederacy, to blinde the rest. 

You are the heyre? 

E

A strange, officious, 

Troublesome knaue! thou dost torment me. 

A

I know  

It cannot be, sir, that you should be consen'd; 

It is not within the wit of man, to do it: 

You are so wise, so prudent  And, it is fit, 

That wealth, and wisdome still, should go together  

Scene 5.10

O

Are all the parties, here? 


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V

All but the Aduocate. 

M

And, here he comes. 

L

Then bring them forth to sentence. 

E

O my most honourd Fathers, let your mercy 

Once winne upon your iustice, to forgiue  

I am distracted  

A

What will he do, now? 

E

O, 

I know not which to addresse my selfe to, first, 

Whether your Fatherhoods, or these innocents  

C

Will he betray himselfe, 

E

Whome, equally, 

I have abus'd, out of most couetous endes  

C

The man is mad! 

D

What is that? 

C

He is possest. 

V

For which; now strooke in conscience, here I prostate 


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Page No 148


My selfe, at you offended feete, for pardon. 

X

Arise. 

I

O heau'n, how iust thou art! 

A

I am caught 

In myne own noose  

C

Be constant. Sir, nought now 

Can helpe, but impudence. 

L

Speake forward. 

V

Silence. 

E

It is not passion in me, reuerend Fathers, 

But onely conscience, conscience, my good Sires, 

That makes me, now, tell trueth. That Parasite, 

That Knaue hath been the instrument of all  

L

Where is that Knaue? fetch him. 

A

I go. 

C

Graue Fathers, 

This man is distracted, he confest it, now; 

For, hoping to be old Volpone's heyre, 

Who now is dead  


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Page No 149


N

How? 

M

Is Volpone dead? 

C

Dead since, graue Fathers  

J

O, sure vengeance! 

L

Stay,  

Then, he was no deceiuer? 

E

O, no, none: 

The Parasite, graue Fathers  

C

He does speake, 

Out of mere enuie, 'cause the seruant is made 

The thing, he gap't for; please your Fatherhoods, 

This is the truth: though, I will not iustifie 

The other, but he may be somewhere faulty. 

E

Aye, to your hopes, as well as mine, Coruino: 

But I will vse modesty. 'Pleaseth your wisdomes 

To view these certaine notes, and but conferre them; 

As I hope fauour, they shall speake cleare truth. 

C

The Deuill has entred him. 

J

Or bides in you. 

O

We have done ill, by a publike Officer, 


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Page No 150


To send for him, if he be heire; 

M

For whome? 

O

Him, that they call the Parasite. 

N

It is true; 

He is a man, of great estate, now left. 

O

Goe you, and learne his name; and say, the Court 

Intreates his presence, here: but, to the clearing 

Of some few doubts. 

M

This same is a labyrinth! 

L

Stand you unto your first report? 

C

My state, 

My life, my fame  

J

Where is it? 

C

Are at the stake 

L

Is yours so too? 

D

The Aduocate is a knave: 

And has a forked tongue  


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Page No 151


M

Speake to the point. 

D

So is the Parasite, too. 

L

This is confusion. 

E

I do beseech your Fatherhoods, read but those; 

C

And credit nothing, the false spirit hath writ: 

It cannot be (my Sires) but he is possest. 

Scene 5.11

A

To make a snare, for mine own neck! and run 

My head into it, wilfully! with laughter! 

When I had newly scap't, was free, and cleare! 

Out of mere wantonnesse! o, the dull Deuill 

Was in this braine of mine, when I deuis'd it; 

And Mosca gaue it second: he must now 

Helpe to seare up this veyne, or we bleed dead. 

How now! who let you loose? whether go you, now? 

What? to bury Ginger bread? or to drowne Kitlings? 

K

Sir, Maister Mosca call'd us out of dores, 

And bid us all go play, and tooke the keyes. 

V

Yes. 

A

Did Maister Mosca take the keyes? why, so! 

I am farder, in. These are my fine conceipts! 

I must be merry, with a mischiefe to me! 

What a vile wretch was I, that could not beare 


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My fortune, soberly? I must have my Crotchets! 

And my Conundrums! well, go you, and seeke him: 

His meaning may be truer, then my feare. 

Bid him he, streight, come to me, to the Court; 

Thether will I; and, if it be possible, 

Vnscrew my Aduocate, upon new hopes: 

When I prouok'd him, then I lost my selfe. 

Scene 5.12

L

These things can ne're be reconcil'd. He, here, 

Professeth, that the Gentleman was wrong'd; 

And that the Gentlewoman was brought thether, 

Forc'd by her husband: and there left. 

E

Most true. 

I

How ready is heau'n to those, that pray. 

L

But, that 

Volpone would have rauish'd her, he holds 

Vtterly false; knowing his impotence. 

C

Graue Fathers, he is possest; againe, I say 

Possest: nay, if there be possession, 

And obsession, he has both. 

N

Here comes our Officer. 

A

The Parasite will streight be, here, graue Fathers. 

O

You might inuent some other name, Sir varlet. 


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N

Did not the Notarie meet him? 

A

Not, that I know. 

O

His comming will cleare all. 

M

Yet it is misty. 

E

May it please your Fatherhoods  

A

Sir, the Parasite 

Will'd me to tell you, that his Maister liues; 

That you are still the man; your hopes the same; 

And this was, onely a iest  

E

How? 

A

Sir, to trie 

If you were firme, and how you stood affected. 

E

Art sure he liues? 

A

Do I liue, Sir? 

E

O me! 

I was too violent. 

A

Sir, you may redeeme it, 


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Page No 154


They said, you were possest; fall downe, and seeme so: 

I will helpe to make it good. God blesse the man! 

Stop your wind hard, and swell: See, see, see, see! 

He vomits crooked pinnes! his eyes are set, 

Like a dead hares, hung in a poulters shop! 

His mouth is running away! Do you see, Signior? 

Now, it is in his belly! 

C

Aye, the Deuill! 

A

Now, in his throate. 

C

Aye, I perceiue it plaine. 

A

It will out, it will out; stand cleere. See, where it flyes! 

In shape of a blew toad, with a battes wings! 

Do not you see it, Sir? 

D

What? I think I do. 

C

It is too manifest. 

A

Looke! he comes to himselfe! 

E

Where am I? 

A

Take good heart, the worst is past, Sir. 

You are dispossest. 

L

What accident is this? 


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Page No 155


M

Sodaine, and full of wonder! 

N

If he were 

Possest, as it appeares, all this is nothing. 

C

He has beene, often, subiect to these fitts. 

L

Shew him that writing, do you know it, Sir? 

A

Deny it, Sir, forweare it, know it not. 

E

Yes, I do know it well, it is my hand: 

A

But all, that it containes, is false. 

J

O practise! 

M

What maze is this! 

L

Is he not guilty, then, 

Whome you, there, name the Parasite? 

E

Graue Fathers, 

No more then, his good Patron, old Volpone. 

O

Why, he is dead? 


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Page No 156


E

O no, my honor'd Fathers, 

He liues  

L

How! liues? 

E

Liues. 

M

This is subtler, yet! 

N

You sayd, he was dead? 

E

Neuer. 

N

You sayd so? 

C

I heard so. 

O

Here comes the Gentleman, make him way. 

N

A stoole. 

O

A proper man! and, were Volpone dead, 

A fit match for my daughter. 

N

Give him way. 


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Page No 157


A

Mosca, I was almost lost, the Aduocate 

Had betrayd all; but, now, it is recouer'd: 

All is on the henge againe  say, I am liuing. 

B

What busie knaue is this. Most reuerend Fathers, 

I sooner had attended your graue pleasures, 

But that my order, for the funerall 

Of my deare Patron did require me  

A

(Mosca!) 

B

Whome I intend to bury, like a Gentleman  

A

Aye, quick, and cosen me of all. 

M

Still stranger! 

More intricate! 

L

And come about, againe! 

O

It is a match, my daughter is bestow'd. 

B

(Will you give me halfe? 

A

First I will be hang'd. 

B

I know, 

Your voice is good, cry not so low'd) 


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Page No 158


L

Demand 

The Aduocate. Sir, did not you affirme, 

Volpone was aliue? 

A

Yes, and he is; 

This Gent'man told me, so. (Thou shalt have halfe.) 

B

Whose drunkard is this same? speake some, that know him: 

I neuer saw his face. (I cannot now 

Afford it you so cheape. 

A

No?) 

L

What say you? 

E

The Officer told me. 

A

I did, graue Fathers, 

And will maintayne, he liues, with mine own life. 

And that this creature told me. (I was borne, 

With all good starres my enemies.) 

B

Most graue Fathers, 

If such an insolence, as this, must passe 

Upon me, I am silent: it was not this, 

For which you sent, I hope. 

M

Take him away. 

A

(Mosca.) 


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Page No 159


N

Let him be whipt. 

A

(Wilt thou betray me? Cosen me?) 

N

And taught, to beare himselfe 

Toward a person of his ranke. 

O

Away. 

B

I humbly thanke your Fatherhoods. 

A

Soft, soft: whipt? 

And loose all that I have? If I confesse, 

It cannot be much more. 

O

Sir, are you married? 

88>

A

They will be ally'd, anone; I must be resolute: 

The FOXE shall, here, vncase. 

B

(Patron.) 

A

Nay, now, 

My ruines shall not come alone; your match 

I will hinder sure: my substance shall not glew you, 

Nor screw you, into a Family. 

B

(Why, Patron!) 


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Page No 160


A

I am Volpone, and this is my Knaue; 

This, his own Knaue; This, auarices Foole; 

This, a Chimo era of Wittall, Foole, and Knaue; 

And, reuerend Fathers, since we all can hope 

Nought, but a sentence, let us not now dispaire it. 

You heare me breife. 

C

May it please your Fatherhoods  

V

Silence. 

L

The knot is now vndone, by miracle! 

M

Nothing can be more clear. 

N

Or, can more proue 

These innocent. 

L

Give them their liberty. 

J

Heauen could not, long, let such grosse crimes be hid. 

M

If this be held the high way, to get riches, 

May I be poore. 

N

This is not the gaine, but torment. 

L

These possesse wealth, as sick men possesse Feuers, 

Which, trulyer, may be sayd to possesse them. 


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Page No 161


M

Disroabe that Parasite. 

X

Most honor'd Fathers  

L

Can you plead ought to stay the course of Iustice? 

If you can, speake. 

X

We beg fauor, 

I

And mercy. 

L

You hurt your innocence, suing for the guilty. 

Stand forth; and, first, the Parasite. You appeare 

To have beene the chiefest minister, if not plotter, 

In all these leud impostures; and now, lastly, 

Have, with your impudence, abus'd the Court, 

And habite of a Gentleman of Venice, 

Being a fellow of no birth or bloud: 

For which, our sentence is, first thou be whipt; 

Then liue perpetuall prisoner in our Gallies. 

E

I thanke you, for him. 

B

Bane to thy woluish nature. 

L

Deliuer him to the Saffi. Thou, Volpone, 

By bloud, and ranke a Gentleman, canst not fall 

Vnder like censure; But our iudgement on thee 

Is, that thy substance all be straight confiscate 

To the Hospitall, of the Incurabili: 

And, since the most was gotten by imposture, 

By fayning lame, gout, palsey and such diseases, 


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Page No 162


Thou art to lie in prison, crampt with irons, 

Till thou bee'st sick, and lame indeed. Remoue him. 

A

This is call'd mortifiyng of a FOXE. 

L

Thou Voltore, to take away the scandale 

Thou hast giu'n all worthy men, of thy profession, 

Art banish'd from their Fellowship, and our State. 

Corbaccio, bring him neare. We here possesse 

Thy son, of all thy estate; and confine thee 

To the Monastery of San' Spirito: 

Where since thou knewst not how to liue well here, 

Thou shalt be learn'd to die well. 

D

Ha! what said he? 

V

You shall know anone, Sir. 

L

Thou Coruino, shalt 

Be straight imbarqu'd from thine own house, and row'd 

Round about Venice, thorough the grand Canale, 

Wearing a cap, with fayre, long Asses eares, 

In steed of hornes: and so, to mount (a paper 

Pin'd on thy brest) to the Berlino  

C

Yes, 

And, have mine eyes beat out with stinking fish, 

Brus'd fruit and rotten egges  it is well. I am glad, 

I shall not see my shame, yet. 

L

And to expiate 

Thy wrongs done to thy wife, thou art to send her 

Home, to her father, with her dowrie trebled: 

And these are all your Iudgements  

X


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(Honour'd Fathers. 

L

Which may not be reuok'd. Now, you begin 

When crimes are done, and past, and to be punish'd, 

To think what your crimes are; away, with them. 

Let all, that see these vices thus rewarded, 

Take heart, and love to study them. Mischiefes feed 

Like beasts, till they be fat, and then they bleed. 

A

The seasoning of a Play is the applause, 

Now, though the Foxe be punish'd by the lawes, 

He, yet, doth hope there is no suffring due, 

For any fact, which he hath done against you; 

If there be, censure him: here he, doubtfull, stands. 


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Bookmarks



1. Table of Contents, page = 3

2. Volpone, page = 4

   3. Ben Jonson, page = 4

   4. Act 1, page = 4

   5. Scene 1.1, page = 4

   6. Scene 1.2, page = 7

   7. Scene 1.3, page = 12

   8. Scene 1.4, page = 17

   9. Scene 1.5, page = 29

   10. Act 2, page = 37

   11. Scene 2.1, page = 37

   12. Scene 2.2, page = 43

   13. Scene 2.3, page = 50

   14. Scene 2.4, page = 51

   15. Scene 2.5, page = 53

   16. Scene 2.6, page = 55

   17. Scene 2.7, page = 59

   18. Act 3, page = 60

   19. Scene 3.1, page = 60

   20. Scene 3.2, page = 61

   21. Scene 3.3, page = 64

   22. Scene 3.4, page = 65

   23. Scene 3.5, page = 71

   24. Scene 3.6, page = 73

   25. Scene 3.7, page = 73

   26. Scene 3.8, page = 83

   27. Scene 3.9, page = 85

   28. Act 4, page = 89

   29. Scene 4.1, page = 89

   30. Scene 4.2, page = 96

   31. Scene 4.3, page = 100

   32. Scene 4.4, page = 102

   33. Scene 4.5, page = 103

   34. Scene 4.6, page = 112

   35. Act 5, page = 120

   36. Scene 5.1, page = 120

   37. Scene 5.2, page = 120

   38. Scene 5.3, page = 127

   39. Scene 5.4, page = 134

   40. Scene 5.5, page = 140

   41. Scene 5.6, page = 141

   42. Scene 5.7, page = 143

   43. Scene 5.8, page = 145

   44. Scene 5.9, page = 146

   45. Scene 5.10, page = 147

   46. Scene 5.11, page = 152

   47. Scene 5.12, page = 153