Title: Worldly Ways and Byways
Subject:
Author: Eliot Gregory
Keywords:
Creator:
PDF Version: 1.2
Page No 1
Worldly Ways and Byways
Eliot Gregory
Page No 2
Table of Contents
Worldly Ways and Byways................................................................................................................................1
Eliot Gregory...........................................................................................................................................1
To the Reader ...........................................................................................................................................2
CHAPTER 1 Charm.............................................................................................................................3
CHAPTER 2 The Moth and the Star....................................................................................................5
CHAPTER 3 Contrasted Travelling.....................................................................................................7
CHAPTER 4 The Outer and the Inner Woman ....................................................................................9
CHAPTER 5 On Some Gilded Misalliances ......................................................................................11
CHAPTER 6 The Complacency of Mediocrity ..................................................................................14
CHAPTER 7 The Discontent of Talent ..............................................................................................16
CHAPTER 8 Slouch ...........................................................................................................................18
CHAPTER 9 Social Suggestion.........................................................................................................20
CHAPTER 10 Bohemia ......................................................................................................................23
CHAPTER 11 Social Exiles...............................................................................................................25
CHAPTER 12 "Seven Ages" of Furniture ..........................................................................................27
CHAPTER 13 Our Elite and Public Life ............................................................................................29
CHAPTER 14 The Small Summer Hotel...........................................................................................31
CHAPTER 15 A False Start...............................................................................................................33
CHAPTER 16 A Holy Land ...............................................................................................................35
CHAPTER 17 Royalty At Play..........................................................................................................37
CHAPTER 18 A Rock Ahead............................................................................................................39
CHAPTER 19 The Grand Prix...........................................................................................................41
CHAPTER 20 "The Treadmill." .........................................................................................................43
CHAPTER 21 "Like Master Like Man." ............................................................................................45
CHAPTER 22 An English Invasion of the Riviera............................................................................47
CHAPTER 23 A Common Weakness................................................................................................49
CHAPTER 24 Changing Paris...........................................................................................................51
CHAPTER 25 Contentment...............................................................................................................53
CHAPTER 26 The Climber ................................................................................................................55
CHAPTER 27 The Last of the Dandies ..............................................................................................57
CHAPTER 28 A Nation on the Wing................................................................................................58
CHAPTER 29 Husks..........................................................................................................................61
CHAPTER 30 The Faubourg of St. Germain .....................................................................................64
CHAPTER 31 Men's Manners...........................................................................................................67
CHAPTER 32 An Ideal Hostess .........................................................................................................68
CHAPTER 33 The Introducer............................................................................................................70
CHAPTER 34 A Question and an Answer .........................................................................................72
CHAPTER 35 Living on your Friends...............................................................................................74
CHAPTER 36 American Society in Italy ...........................................................................................76
CHAPTER 37 The Newport of the Past .............................................................................................78
CHAPTER 38 A Conquest of Europe................................................................................................81
CHAPTER 39 A Race of Slaves........................................................................................................83
CHAPTER 40 Introspection * ............................................................................................................86
Worldly Ways and Byways
i
Page No 3
Worldly Ways and Byways
Eliot Gregory
1. Charm
2. The Moth and the Star
3. Contrasted Travelling
4. The Outer and the Inner Woman
5. On Some Gilded Misalliances
6. The Complacency of Mediocrity
7. The Discontent of Talent
8. Slouch
9. Social Suggestion
10. Bohemia
11. Social Exiles
12. "Seven Ages" of Furniture
13. Our Elite and Public Life
14. The Small Summer Hotel
15. A False Start
16. A Holy Land
17. Royalty at Play
18. A Rock Ahead
19. The Grand Prix
20. "The Treadmill"
21. "Like Master Like Man"
22. An English Invasion of the Riviera
23. A Common Weakness
24. Changing Paris
25. Contentment
26. The Climber
27. The Last of the Dandies
28. A Nation on the Wing
29. Husks
30. The Faubourg St. Germain
31. Men's Manners
32. An Ideal Hostess
33. The Introducer
34. A Question and an Answer
35. Living on Your Friends
36. American Society in Italy
37. The Newport of the Past
38. A Conquest of Europe
39. A Race of Slaves
40. Introspection
Worldly Ways and Byways 1
Page No 4
To the Reader
THERE existed formerly, in diplomatic circles, a curious custom, since fallen into disuse, entitled the Pele
Mele, contrived doubtless by some distracted Master of Ceremonies to quell the endless jealousies and
quarrels for precedence between courtiers and diplomatists of contending pretensions. Under this rule no rank
was recognized, each person being allowed at banquet, fete, or other public ceremony only such place as he
had been ingenious or fortunate enough to obtain.
Any one wishing to form an idea of the confusion that ensued, of the intrigues and expedients resorted to, not
only in procuring prominent places, but also in ensuring the integrity of the Pele Mele, should glance over the
amusing memoirs of M. de Segur.
The aspiring nobles and ambassadors, harassed by this constant preoccupation, had little time or inclination
left for any serious pursuit, since, to take a moment's repose or an hour's breathing space was to risk falling
behind in the endless and aimless race. Strange as it may appear, the knowledge that they owed place and
preferment more to chance or intrigue than to any personal merit or inherited right, instead of lessening the
value of the prizes for which all were striving, seemed only to enhance them in the eyes of the competitors.
Success was the unique standard by which they gauged their fellows. Those who succeeded revelled in the
adulation of their friends, but when any one failed, the fickle crowd passed him by to bow at more fortunate
feet.
No better picture could be found of the "world" of today, a perpetual Pele Mele, where such advantages
only are conceded as we have been sufficiently enterprising to obtain, and are strong or clever enough to keep
a constant competition, a daily steeplechase, favorable to daring spirits and personal initiative but with the
defect of keeping frail humanity ever on the qui vive.
Philosophers tell us, that we should seek happiness only in the calm of our own minds, not allowing external
conditions or the opinions of others to influence our ways. This lofty detachment from environment is
achieved by very few. Indeed, the philosophers themselves (who may be said to have invented the art of
"posing") were generally as vain as peacocks, profoundly preoccupied with the verdict of their
contemporaries and their position as regards posterity.
Man is born gregarious and remains all his life a herding animal. As one keen observer has written, "So great
is man's horror of being alone that he will seek the society of those he neither likes nor respects sooner than
be left to his own." The laws and conventions that govern men's intercourse have, therefore, formed a
tempting subject for the writers of all ages. Some have labored hoping to reform their generation, others have
written to offer solutions for life's many problems.
Beaumarchais, whose penetrating wit left few subjects untouched, makes his Figaro put the subject aside with
"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'etre oblige d'en pleurer."
The author of this little volume pretends to settle no disputes, aims at inaugurating no reforms. He has lightly
touched on passing topics and jotted down, "to point a moral or adorn a tale," some of the more obvious
foibles and inconsistencies of our American ways. If a stray bit of philosophy has here and there slipped in
between the lines, it is mostly of the laughing "school," and used more in banter than in blame.
This much abused "world" is a fairly agreeable place if you do not take it seriously. Meet it with a friendly
face and it will smile gayly back at you, but do not ask of it what it cannot give, or attribute to its verdicts
more importance than they deserve.
Worldly Ways and Byways
To the Reader 2
Page No 5
ELIOT GREGORY
Newport, November first, 1897
CHAPTER 1 Charm
WOMEN endowed by nature with the indescribable quality we call "charm" (for want of a better word), are
the supreme development of a perfected race, the last word, as it were, of civilization; the flower of their
kind, crowning centuries of growing refinement and cultivation. Other women may unite a thousand brilliant
qualities, and attractive attributes, may be beautiful as Astarte or witty as Madame de Montespan, those
endowed with the power of charm, have in all ages and under every sky, held undisputed rule over the hearts
of their generation.
When we look at the portraits of the enchantresses whom history tells us have ruled the world by their charm,
and swayed the destinies of empires at their fancy, we are astonished to find that they have rarely been
beautiful. From Cleopatra or Mary of Scotland down to Lola Montez, the telltale coin or canvas reveals the
same marvellous fact. We wonder how these women attained such influence over the men of their day, their
husbands or lovers. We would do better to look around us, or inward, and observe what is passing in our own
hearts.
Pause, reader mine, a moment and reflect. Who has held the first place in your thoughts, filled your soul, and
influenced your life? Was she the most beautiful of your acquaintances, the radiant vision that dazzled your
boyish eyes? Has she not rather been some gentle, quiet woman whom you hardly noticed the first time your
paths crossed, but who gradually grew to be a part of your life to whom you instinctively turned for
consolation in moments of discouragement, for counsel in your difficulties, and whose welcome was the
bright moment in your day, looked forward to through long hours of toil and worry?
In the hurlyburly of life we lose sight of so many things our fathers and mothers clung to, and have drifted
so far away from their gentle customs and simple, homeloving habits, that one wonders what impression our
society would make on a woman of a century ago, could she by some spell be dropped into the swing of
modern days. The good soul would be apt to find it rather a far cry from the quiet pleasures of her youth, to
"a ladies' amateur bicycle race" that formed the attraction recently at a summer resort.
That we should have come to think it natural and proper for a young wife and mother to pass her mornings at
golf, lunching at the club house to "save time," returning home only for a hurried change of toilet to start
again on a bicycle or for a round of calls, an occupation that will leave her just the halfhour necessary to slip
into a dinner gown, and then for her to pass the evening in dancing or at the cardtable, shows, when one
takes the time to think of it, how unconsciously we have changed, and (with all apologies to the gay hostesses
and graceful athletes of today) not for the better.
It is just in the subtle quality of charm that the women of the last ten years have fallen away from their elder
sisters. They have been carried along by a love of sport, and by the set of fashion's tide, not stopping to ask
themselves whither they are floating. They do not realize all the importance of their acts nor the true meaning
of their metamorphosis.
The dear creatures should be content, for they have at last escaped from the bondage of ages, have broken
their chains, and vaulted over their prison walls. "Lords and masters" have gradually become very humble
and obedient servants, and the "love, honour, and obey" of the marriage service might now more logically be
spoken by the man; on the lips of the women of today it is but a graceful "FACON DE PARLER," and
holds only those who choose to be bound.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 1 Charm 3
Page No 6
It is not my intention to rail against the shortcomings of the day. That ungrateful task I leave to sterner
moralists, and hopeful souls who naively imagine they can stem the current of an epoch with the barrier of
their eloquence, or sweep back an ocean of innovations by their logic. I should like, however, to ask my
sisters one question: Are they quite sure that women gain by these changes? Do they imagine, these "sporty"
young females in short cut skirts and mannish shirts and ties, that it is seductive to a lover, or a husband to
see his idol in a violent perspiration, her draggled hair blowing across a sunburned face, panting up a long hill
in front of him on a bicycle, frantic at having lost her race? Shade of gentle William! who said
A woman moved, is like a fountain troubled, Muddy, illseeming, thick, bereft of beauty. And while it is
so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Is the modern girl under the impression that men will be contented with poor imitations of themselves, to
share their homes and be the mothers of their children? She is throwing away the substance for the shadow!
The moment women step out from the sanctuary of their homes, the glamour that girlhood or maternity has
thrown around them cast aside, that moment will they cease to rule mankind. Women may agitate until they
have obtained political recognition, but will awake from their foolish dream of power, realizing too late what
they have sacrificed to obtain it, that the price has been very heavy, and the fruit of their struggles bitter on
their lips.
There are few men, I imagine, of my generation to whom the words "home" and "mother" have not a
penetrating charm, who do not look back with softened heart and tender thoughts to fireside scenes of
evening readings and twilight talks at a mother's knee, realizing that the best in their natures owes its growth
to these influences.
I sometimes look about me and wonder what the word "mother" will mean later, to modern little boys. It will
evoke, I fear, a confused remembrance of some centaurlike being, half woman, half wheel, or as it did to
neglected little Rawdon Crawley, the vision of a radiant creature in gauze and jewels, driving away to endless
FETES FETES followed by long mornings, when he was told not to make any noise, or play too loudly, "as
poor mamma is resting." What other memories can the "successful" woman of today hope to leave in the
minds of her children? If the child remembers his mother in this way, will not the man who has known and
perhaps loved her, feel the same sensation of empty futility when her name is mentioned?
The woman who proposes a game of cards to a youth who comes to pass an hour in her society, can hardly
expect him to carry away a particularly tender memory of her as he leaves the house. The girl who has rowed,
ridden, or raced at a man's side for days, with the object of getting the better of him at some sport or pastime,
cannot reasonably hope to be connected in his thoughts with ideas more tender or more elevated than "odds"
or "handicaps," with an undercurrent of pique if his unsexed companion has "downed" him successfully.
What man, unless he be singularly dissolute or unfortunate, but turns his steps, when he can, towards some
dainty parlor where he is sure of finding a smiling, softvoiced woman, whose welcome he knows will
soothe his irritated nerves and restore the even balance of his temper, whose charm will work its subtle way
into his troubled spirit? The wife he loves, or the friend he admires and respects, will do more for him in one
such quiet hour when two minds commune, coming closer to the real man, and moving him to braver efforts,
and nobler aims, than all the beauties and "sporty" acquaintances of a lifetime. No matter what a man's
education or taste is, none are insensible to such an atmosphere or to the grace and witchery a woman can
lend to the simplest surroundings. She need not be beautiful or brilliant to hold him in lifelong allegiance, if
she but possess this magnetism.
Madame Recamier was a beautiful, but not a brilliant woman, yet she held men her slaves for years. To know
her was to fall under her charm, and to feel it once was to remain her adorer for life. She will go down to
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 1 Charm 4
Page No 7
history as the type of a fascinating woman. Being asked once by an acquaintance what spell she worked on
mankind that enabled her to hold them for ever at her feet, she laughingly answered:
"I have always found two words sufficient. When a visitor comes into my salon, I say, 'ENFIN!' and when he
gets up to go away, I say, 'DEJA!' "
"What is this wonderful 'charm' he is writing about?" I hear some sprightly maiden inquire as she reads these
lines. My dear young lady, if you ask the question, you have judged yourself and been found wanting. But to
satisfy you as far as I can, I will try and define it not by telling you what it is; that is beyond my power
but by negatives, the only way in which subtle subjects can be approached.
A woman of charm is never flustered and never DISTRAITE. She talks little, and rarely of herself,
remembering that bores are persons who insist on talking about themselves. She does not break the thread of
a conversation by irrelevant questions or confabulate in an undertone with the servants. No one of her guests
receives more of her attention than another and none are neglected. She offers to each one who speaks the
homage of her entire attention. She never makes an effort to be brilliant or entertain with her wit. She is far
too clever for that. Neither does she volunteer information nor converse about her troubles or her ailments,
nor wander off into details about people you do not know.
She is all things to each man she likes, in the best sense of that phrase, appreciating his qualities,
stimulating him to better things.
for his gayer hours She has a voice of gladness and a smile and eloquence of beauty; and she glides Into his
darker musings with a mild and healing sympathy that steals away Their sharpness ere he is aware.
CHAPTER 2 The Moth and the Star
THE truth of the saying that "it is always the unexpected that happens," receives in this country a
confirmation from an unlooked for quarter, as does the fact of human nature being always, discouragingly,
the same in spite of varied surroundings. This sounds like a paradox, but is an exceedingly simple statement
easily proved.
That the great mass of Americans, drawn as they are from such varied sources, should take any interest in the
comings and goings or social doings of a small set of wealthy and fashionable people, is certainly an
unexpected development. That to read of the amusements and home life of a clique of people with whom they
have little in common, whose whole education and point of view are different from their own, and whom they
have rarely seen and never expect to meet, should afford the average citizen any amusement seems little short
of impossible.
One accepts as a natural sequence that abroad (where an hereditary nobility have ruled for centuries, and
accustomed the people to look up to them as the visible embodiment of all that is splendid and unattainable in
life) such interest should exist. That the homecoming of an English or French nobleman to his estates should
excite the enthusiasm of hundreds more or less dependent upon him for their amusement or more material
advantages; that his marriage to an heiress meaning to them the reopening of a longclosed CHATEAU
and the beginning of a period of prosperity for the district should excite his neighbors is not to be wondered
at.
It is well known that whole regions have been made prosperous by the residence of a court, witness the
wealth and trade brought into Scotland by the Queen's preference for "the Land of Cakes," and the discontent
and poverty in Ireland from absenteeism and persistent avoidance of that country by the court. But in this
land, where every reason for interesting one class in another seems lacking, that thousands of welltodo
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 2 The Moth and the Star 5
Page No 8
people (half the time not born in this hemisphere), should delightedly devour columns of incorrect
information about New York dances and Lenox houseparties, winter cruises, or Newport coaching parades,
strikes the observer as the "unexpected" in its purest form.
That this interest exists is absolutely certain. During a trip in the West, some seasons ago, I was
dumbfounded to find that the members of a certain New York set were familiarly spoken of by their first
names, and was assailed with all sorts of eager questions when it was discovered that I knew them. A certain
young lady, at that time a belle in New York, was currently called SALLY, and a wellknown sportsman
FRED, by thousands of people who had never seen either of them. It seems impossible, does it not? Let us
look a little closer into the reason of this interest, and we shall find how simple is the apparent paradox.
Perhaps in no country, in all the world, do the immense middle classes lead such uninteresting lives, and have
such limited resources at their disposal for amusement or the passing of leisure hours.
Abroad the military bands play constantly in the public parks; the museums and palaces are always open
wherein to pass rainy Sunday afternoons; every village has its religious FETES and local fair, attended with
dancing and games. All these mental relaxations are lacking in our newer civilization; life is stripped of
everything that is not distinctly practical; the dull round of weekly toil is only broken by the duller idleness of
an American Sunday. Naturally, these people long for something outside of themselves and their narrow
sphere.
Suddenly there arises a class whose wealth permits them to break through the iron circle of work and
boredom, who do picturesque and delightful things, which appeal directly to the imagination; they build a
summer residence complete, in six weeks, with furniture and bricabrac, on the top of a roadless mountain;
they sail in fairylike yachts to summer seas, and marry their daughters to the heirs of ducal houses; they float
up the Nile in dahabeeyah, or pass the "month of flowers" in far Japan.
It is but human nature to delight in reading of these things. Here the great mass of the people find (and
eagerly seize on), the element of romance lacking in their lives, infinitely more enthralling than the doings of
any novel's heroine. It is real! It is taking place! and still deeper reason in every ambitious American
heart lingers the secret hope that with luck and good management they too may do those very things, or at
least that their children will enjoy the fortunes they have gained, in just those ways. The gloom of the
monotonous present is brightened, the patient toiler returns to his desk with something definite before him
an objective point towards which he can struggle; he knows that this is no impossible dream. Dozens have
succeeded and prove to him what energy and enterprise can accomplish.
Do not laugh at this suggestion; it is far truer than you imagine. Many a weary woman has turned from such
reading to her narrow duties, feeling that life is not all work, and with renewed hope in the possibilities of the
future.
Doubtless a certain amount of purely idle curiosity is mingled with the other feelings. I remember quite well
showing our city sights to a bored party of Western friends, and failing entirely to amuse them, when,
happening to mention as we drove up town, "there goes Mr. Blank," (naming a prominent leader of
cotillions), my guests nearly fell over each other and out of the carriage in their eagerness to see the
gentleman of whom they had read so much, and who was, in those days, a power in his way, and several
times after they expressed the greatest satisfaction at having seen him.
I have found, with rare exceptions, and the experience has been rather widely gathered all over the country,
that this interest or call it what you will has been entirely without spite or bitterness, rather the delight of
a child in a fairy story. For people are rarely envious of things far removed from their grasp. You will find
that a woman who is bitter because her neighbor has a girl "help" or a more comfortable cottage, rarely feels
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 2 The Moth and the Star 6
Page No 9
envy towards the owners of operaboxes or yachts. Such heartburnings (let us hope they are few) are among
a class born in the shadow of great wealth, and bred up with tastes that they can neither relinquish nor satisfy.
The large majority of people show only a goodnatured inclination to chaff, none of the "class feeling" which
certain papers and certain politicians try to excite. Outside of the large cities with their foreignbred, semi
anarchistic populations, the tone is perfectly friendly; for the simple reason that it never entered into the head
of any American to imagine that there WAS any class difference. To him his rich neighbors are simply his
lucky neighbors, almost his relations, who, starting from a common stock, have been able to "get there"
sooner than he has done. So he wishes them luck on the voyage in which he expects to join them as soon as
he has had time to make a fortune.
So long as the world exists, or at least until we have reformed it and adopted Mr. Bellamy's delightful scheme
of existence as described in "Looking Backward," great fortunes will be made, and painful contrasts be seen,
especially in cities, and it would seem to be the duty of the press to soften certainly not to sharpen the
edge of discontent. As long as human nature is human nature, and the poor care to read of the doings of the
more fortunate, by all means give them the reading they enjoy and demand, but let it be written in a kindly
spirit so that it may be a cultivation as well as a recreation. Treat this perfectly natural and honest taste
honestly and naturally, for, after all, it is
The desire of the moth for the star, Of the night for the morrow. The devotion to something afar From the
sphere of our sorrow.
CHAPTER 3 Contrasted Travelling
WHEN our parents went to Europe fifty years ago, it was the event of a lifetime a tour lovingly mapped out
in advance with advice from travelled friends. Passports were procured, books read, wills made, and finally,
prayers were offered up in church and solemn leavetaking performed. Once on the other side, descriptive
letters were conscientiously written, and eagerly read by friends at home, in spite of these epistles being on
the thinnest of paper and with crossing carried to a fine art, for postage was high in the forties. Above all, a
journal was kept.
Such a journal lies before me as I write. Four little volumes in worn morocco covers and faded "Italian"
writing, more precious than all my other books combined, their sight recalls that lost time my youth
when, as a reward, they were unlocked that I might look at the drawings, and the sweetest voice in the world
would read to me from them! Happy, vanished days, that are so far away they seem to have been in another
existence!
The first volume opens with the voyage across the Atlantic, made in an American clipper (a model
unsurpassed the world over), which was accomplished in thirteen days, a feat rarely equalled now, by sail.
Genial Captain Nye was in command. The same who later, when a steam propelled vessel was offered him,
refused, as unworthy of a seaman, "to boil a kettle across the ocean."
Life friendships were made in those little cabins, under the swinging lamp the travellers reread last volumes
so as to be prepared to appreciate everything on landing. Ireland, England and Scotland were visited with an
enthusiasm born of Scott, the tedium of long coaching journeys being beguiled by the first "numbers" of
"Pickwick," over which the men of the party roared, but which the ladies did not care for, thinking it vulgar,
and not to be compared to "Waverley," "Thaddeus of Warsaw," or "The Mysteries of Udolpho."
A circular letter to our diplomatic agents abroad was presented in each city, a rite invariably followed by an
invitation to dine, for which occasions a black satin frock with a low body and a few simple ornaments,
including (supreme elegance) a diamond cross, were carried in the trunks. In London a travelling carriage
was bought and stocked, the indispensable courier engaged, half guide, half servant, who was expected to
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 3 Contrasted Travelling 7
Page No 10
explore a city, or wait at table, as occasion required. Four days were passed between Havre and Paris, and the
slow progress across Europe was accomplished, Murray in one hand and Byron in the other.
One page used particularly to attract my boyish attention. It was headed by a naive little drawing of the
carriage at an Italian inn door, and described how, after the dangers and discomforts of an Alpine pass, they
descended by sunny slopes into Lombardy. Oh! the rapture that breathes from those simple pages! The
vintage scenes, the midday halt for luncheon eaten in the open air, the afternoon start, the front seat of the
carriage heaped with purple grapes, used to fire my youthful imagination and now recalls Madame de Stael's
line on perfect happiness: "To be young! to be in love! to be in Italy!"
Do people enjoy Europe as much now? I doubt it! It has become too much a matter of course, a necessary
part of the routine of life. Much of the bloom is brushed from foreign scenes by descriptive books and
photographs, that St. Mark's or Mt. Blanc has become as familiar to a child's eye as the house he lives in, and
in consequence the reality now instead of being a revelation is often a disappointment.
In my youth, it was still an event to cross. I remember my first voyage on the old sidewheeled SCOTIA, and
Captain Judkins in a wheeled chair, and a perpetual bad temper, being pushed about the deck; and our delight,
when the inevitable female asking him (three days out) how far we were from land, got the answer "about a
mile!"
"Indeed! How interesting! In which direction?"
"In that direction, madam," shouted the captain, pointing downward as he turned his back to her.
If I remember, we were then thirteen days getting to Liverpool, and made the acquaintance on board of the
people with whom we travelled during most of that winter. Imagine anyone now making an acquaintance on
board a steamer! In those simple days people depended on the friendships made at summer hotels or
boarding houses for their visiting list. At present, when a girl comes out, her mother presents her to
everybody she will be likely to know if she were to live a century. In the seventies, ladies cheerfully shared
their staterooms with women they did not know, and often became friends in consequence; but now, unless
a certain decksuite can be secured, with bath and sittingroom, on one or two particular "steamers," the
great lady is in despair. Yet our mothers were quite as refined as the present generation, only they took life
simply, as they found it.
Children are now taken abroad so young, that before they have reached an age to appreciate what they see,
Europe has become to them a twicetold tale. So true is this, that a receipt for making children good
Americans is to bring them up abroad. Once they get back here it is hard to entice them away again.
With each improvement in the speed of our steamers, something of the glamour of Europe vanishes. The
crowds that yearly rush across see and appreciate less in a lifetime than our parents did in their one tour
abroad. A good lady of my acquaintance was complaining recently how much Paris bored her.
"What can you do to pass the time?" she asked. I innocently answered that I knew nothing so entrancing as
long mornings passed at the Louvre.
"Oh, yes, I do that too," she replied, "but I like the 'Bon Marche' best!"
A trip abroad has become a purely social function to a large number of wealthy Americans, including
"presentation" in London and a winter in Rome or Cairo. And just as a "smart" Englishman is sure to tell you
that he has never visited the "Tower," it has become good form to ignore the sightseeing side of Europe;
hundreds of New Yorkers never seeing anything of Paris beyond the Rue de la Paix and the Bois. They would
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 3 Contrasted Travelling 8
Page No 11
as soon think of going to Cluny or St. Denis as of visiting the museum in our park!
Such people go to Fontainebleau because they are buying furniture, and they wish to see the best models.
They go to Versailles on the coach and "do" the Palace during the halfhour before luncheon. Beyond that,
enthusiasm rarely carries them. As soon as they have settled themselves at the Bristol or the Rhin begins the
endless treadmill of leaving cards on all the people just seen at home, and whom they will meet again in a
couple of months at Newport or Bar Harbor. This duty and the allentrancing occupation of getting clothes
fills up every spare hour. Indeed, clothes seem to pervade the air of Paris in May, the conversation rarely
deviating from them. If you meet a lady you know looking ill, and ask the cause, it generally turns out to be
"four hours a day standing to be fitted." Incredible as it may seem, I have been told of one plain maiden lady,
who makes a trip across, spring and autumn, with the sole object of getting her two yearly outfits.
Remembering the hundreds of cultivated people whose dream in life (often unrealized from lack of means)
has been to go abroad and visit the scenes their reading has made familiar, and knowing what such a trip
would mean to them, and how it would be looked back upon during the rest of an obscure life, I felt it almost
a duty to "suppress" a wealthy female (doubtless an American cousin of Lady Midas) when she informed me,
the other day, that decidedly she would not go abroad this spring.
"It is not necessary. Worth has my measures!"
CHAPTER 4 The Outer and the Inner Woman
IT is a sad commentary on our boasted civilization that cases of shoplifting occur more and more frequently
each year, in which the delinquents are women of education and refinement, or at least belong to families and
occupy positions in which one would expect to find those qualities! The reason, however, is not difficult to
discover.
In the wake of our hasty and immature prosperity has come (as it does to all suddenly enriched societies) a
love of ostentation, a desire to dazzle the crowd by displays of luxury and rich trappings indicative of crude
and vulgar standards. The newly acquired money, instead of being expended for solid comforts or articles
which would afford lasting satisfaction, is lavished on what can be worn in public, or the outer shell of
display, while the home table and fireside belongings are neglected. A glance around our theatres, or at the
men and women in our crowded thoroughfares, is sufficient to reveal to even a casual observer that the mania
for fine clothes and what is costly, PER SE, has become the besetting sin of our day and our land.
The tone of most of the papers and of our theatrical advertisements reflects this feeling. The amount of
money expended for a work of art or a new building is mentioned before any comment as to its beauty or
fitness. A play is spoken of as "Manager So and So's thirtythousanddollar production!" The fact that a
favorite actress will appear in four different dresses during the three acts of a comedy, each toilet being a
special creation designed for her by a leading Parisian house, is considered of supreme importance and is
dwelt upon in the programme as a special attraction.
It would be astonishing if the taste of our women were different, considering the way clothes are eternally
being dangled before their eyes. Leading papers publish illustrated supplements devoted exclusively to the
subject of attire, thus carrying temptation into every humble home, and suggesting unattainable luxuries.
Windows in many of the larger shops contain lifesized manikins loaded with the latest costly and ephemeral
caprices of fashion arranged to catch the eye of the poorer class of women, who stand in hundreds gazing at
the display like larks attracted by a mirror! Watch those women as they turn away, and listen to their sighs of
discontent and envy. Do they not tell volumes about petty hopes and ambitions?
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 4 The Outer and the Inner Woman 9
Page No 12
I do not refer to the wealthy women whose toilets are in keeping with their incomes and the general footing
of their households; that they should spend more or less in fitting themselves out daintily is of little
importance. The point where this subject becomes painful is in families of small means where young girls
imagine that to be elaborately dressed is the first essential of existence, and, in consequence, bend their labors
and their intelligence towards this end. Last spring I asked an old friend where she and her daughters intended
passing their summer. Her answer struck me as being characteristic enough to quote: "We should much
prefer," she said, "returning to Bar Harbor, for we all enjoy that place and have many friends there. But the
truth is, my daughters have bought themselves very little in the way of toilet this year, as our finances are not
in a flourishing condition. So my poor girls will be obliged to make their last year's dresses do for another
season. Under these circumstances, it is out of the question for us to return a second summer to the same
place."
I do not know how this anecdote strikes my readers. It made me thoughtful and sad to think that, in a family
of intelligent and practical women, such a reason should be considered sufficient to outweigh enjoyment,
social relations, even health, and allowed to change the plans of an entire family.
As American women are so fond of copying English ways they should be willing to take a few lessons on the
subject of raiment from across the water. As this is not intended to be a dissertation on "How to Dress Well
on Nothing a Year," and as I feel the greatest diffidence in approaching a subject of which I know absolutely
nothing, it will be better to sheer off from these reefs and quicksands. Every one who reads these lines will
know perfectly well what is meant, when reference is made to the good sense and practical utility of English
women's dress.
What disgusts and angers me (when my way takes me into our surface or elevated cars or into ferry boats and
local trains) is the utter dissonance between the outfit of most of the women I meet and their position and
occupation. So universal is this, that it might almost be laid down as an axiom, that the American woman, no
matter in what walk of life you observe her, or what the time or the place, is always persistently and
grotesquely overdressed. From the women who frequent the hotels of our summer or winter resorts, down all
the steps of the social staircase to the charwoman, who consents (spasmodically) to remove the dust and
wastepapers from my office, there seems to be the same complete disregard of fitness. The other evening, in
leaving my rooms, I brushed against a portly person in the halflight of the corridor. There was a shimmer of
(what appeared to my inexperienced eyes as) costly stuffs, a huge hat crowned the shadow itself, "topped by
nodding plumes," which seemed to account for the depleted condition of my feather duster.
I found on inquiring of the janitor, that the dressy person I had met, was the charwoman in street attire, and
that a closet was set aside in the building, for the special purpose of her morning and evening
transformations, which she underwent in the belief that her social position in Avenue A would suffer, should
she appear in the streets wearing anything less costly than sealskin and velvet or such imitations of those
expensive materials as her stipend would permit.
I have as tenants of a small wooden house in Jersey City, a bank clerk, his wife and their three daughters. He
earns in the neighborhood of fifteen hundred dollars a year. Their rent (with which, by the way, they are
always in arrears) is three hundred dollars. I am favored spring and autumn by a visit from the ladies of that
family, in the hope (generally futile) of inducing me to do some ornamental papering or painting in their
residence, subjects on which they have by experience found my agent to be unapproachable. When those four
women descend upon me, I am fairly dazzled by the splendor of their attire, and lost in wonder as to how the
price of all that finery can have been squeezed out of the twelve remaining hundreds of their income. When I
meet the father he is shabby to the outer limits of the genteel. His hat has, I am sure, supported the suns and
snowstorms of a dozen seasons. There is a threadbare shine on his apparel that suggests a heartache in each
whitened seam, but the ladies are mirrors of fashion, as well as moulds of form. What can remain for any
creature comforts after all those fine clothes have been paid for? And how much is put away for the years
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 4 The Outer and the Inner Woman 10
Page No 13
when the longsuffering money maker will be past work, or saved towards the time when sickness or
accident shall appear on the horizon? How those ladies had the "nerve" to enter a ferry boat or crowd into a
cable car, dressed as they were, has always been a marvel to me. A landau and two liveried servants would
barely have been in keeping with their appearance.
Not long ago, a great English nobleman, who is also famous in the yachting world, visited this country
accompanied by his two daughters, highbred and genial ladies. No selfrespecting American shop girl or
fashionable typewriter would have condescended to appear in the inexpensive attire which those English
women wore. Wherever one met them, at dinner, FETE, or ball, they were always the most simply dressed
women in the room. I wonder if it ever occurred to any of their gorgeously attired hostesses, that it was
because their transatlantic guests were so sure of their position, that they contented themselves with such
simple toilets knowing that nothing they might wear could either improve or alter their standing
In former ages, sumptuary laws were enacted by parental governments, in the hope of suppressing
extravagance in dress, the state of affairs we deplore now, not being a new development of human weakness,
but as old as wealth.
The desire to shine by the splendor of one's trappings is the first idea of the parvenu, especially here in this
country, where the ambitious are denied the pleasure of acquiring a title, and where official rank carries with
it so little social weight. Few more striking ways present themselves to the crude and halfeducated for the
expenditure of a new fortune than the purchase of sumptuous apparel, the satisfaction being immediate and
material. The wearer of a complete and perfect toilet must experience a delight of which the uninitiated know
nothing, for such cruel sacrifices are made and so many privations endured to procure this satisfaction. When
I see groups of women, clad in the latest designs of purple and fine linen, stand shivering on street corners of
a winter night, until they can crowd into a car, I doubt if the joy they get from their clothes, compensates
them for the creature comforts they are forced to forego, and I wonder if it never occurs to them to spend less
on their wardrobes and so feel they can afford to return from a theatre or concert comfortably, in a cab, as a
foreign woman, with their income would do.
There is a stoical determination about the American point of view that compels a certain amount of respect.
Our countrywomen will deny themselves pleasures, will economize on their food and will remain in town
during the summer, but when walking abroad they must be clad in the best, so that no one may know by their
appearance if the income be counted by hundreds or thousands.
While these standards prevail and the female mind is fixed on this subject with such dire intent, it is not
astonishing that a weaker sister is occasionally tempted beyond her powers of resistance. Nor that each day a
new case of a welldressed woman thieving in a shop reaches our ears. The poor feebleminded creature is
not to blame. She is but the reflexion of the minds around her and is probably like the lady Emerson tells of,
who confessed to him "that the sense of being perfectly welldressed had given her a feeling of inward
tranquillity which religion was powerless to bestow."
CHAPTER 5 On Some Gilded Misalliances
A DEAR old American lady, who lived the greater part of her life in Rome, and received every body worth
knowing in her spacious drawingrooms, far up in the dim vastnesses of a Roman palace, used to say that she
had only known one really happy marriage made by an American girl abroad.
In those days, being young and innocent, I considered that remark cynical, and in my heart thought nothing
could be more romantic and charming than for a fair compatriot to assume an historic title and retire to her
husband's estates, and rule smilingly over him and a devoted tenantry, as in the last act of a comic opera,
when a rose colored light is burning and the orchestra plays the last brilliant chords of a wedding march.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 5 On Some Gilded Misalliances 11
Page No 14
There seemed to my perverted sense a certain poetic justice about the fact that money, gained honestly but
prosaically, in groceries or gas, should go to regild an ancient blazon or prop up the crumbling walls of some
stately palace abroad.
Many thoughtful years and many cruel realities have taught me that my gracious hostess of the "seventies"
was right, and that marriage under these conditions is apt to be much more like the comic opera after the
curtain has been rung down, when the lights are out, the applauding public gone home, and the weary actors
brought slowly back to the present and the positive, are wondering how they are to pay their rent or dodge the
warrant in ambush around the corner.
International marriages usually come about from a deficient knowledge of the world. The father becomes
rich, the family travel abroad, some mutual friend (often from purely interested motives) produces a suitor for
the hand of the daughter, in the shape of a "prince" with a title that makes the whole simple American family
quiver with delight.
After a few visits the suitor declares himself; the girl is flattered, the father loses his head, seeing visions of
his loved daughter hobnobbing with royalty, and (intoxicating thought!) snubbing the "swells" at home who
had shown reluctance to recognize him and his family.
It is next to impossible for him to get any reliable information about his future soninlaw in a country
where, as an American, he has few social relations, belongs to no club, and whose idiom is a sealed book to
him. Every circumstance conspires to keep the flaws on the article for sale out of sight and place the suitor in
an advantageous light. Several weeks' "courting" follows, paterfamilias agrees to part with a handsome share
of his earnings, and a marriage is "arranged."
In the case where the girl has retained some of her selfrespect the suitor is made to come to her country for
the ceremony. And, that the contrast between European ways and our simple habits may not be too striking,
an establishment is hastily got together, with hired liveries and newbought carriages, as in a recent case in
this state. The sensational papers write up this "international union," and publish "faked" portraits of the bride
and her noble spouse. The sovereign of the groom's country (enchanted that some more American money is
to be imported into his land) sends an economical present and an autograph letter. The act ends. Limelight
and slow music!
In a few years rumors of dissent and trouble float vaguely back to the girl's family. Finally, either a great
scandal occurs, and there is one dishonored home the more in the world, or an expatriated woman, thousands
of miles from the friends and relatives who might be of some comfort to her, makes up her mind to accept
"anything" for the sake of her children, and attempts to build up some sort of an existence out of the remains
of her lost illusions, and the father wakes up from his dream to realize that his wealth has only served to ruin
what he loved best in all the world.
Sometimes the conditions are delightfully comic, as in a wellknown case, where the daughter, who married
into an indolent, happygo lucky Italian family, had inherited her father's business push and energy along
with his fortune, and immediately set about "running" her husband's estate as she had seen her father do his
bank. She tried to revive a halfforgotten industry in the district, scraped and whitewashed their picturesque
old villa, proposed her husband's entering business, and in short dashed head down against all his inherited
traditions and national prejudices, until her new family loathed the sight of the brisk American face, and the
poor she had tried to help, sulked in their newly drained houses and refused to be comforted. Her ways were
not Italian ways, and she seemed to the nunlike Italian ladies, almost unsexed, as she tramped about the
fields, talking artificial manure and subsoil drainage with the men. Yet neither she nor her husband was to
blame. The young Italian had but followed the teachings of his family, which decreed that the only honorable
way for an aristocrat to acquire wealth was to marry it. The American wife honestly tried to do her duty in
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 5 On Some Gilded Misalliances 12
Page No 15
this new position, naively thinking she could engraft transatlantic "go" upon the indolent Italian character.
Her work was in vain; she made herself and her husband so unpopular that they are now living in this
country, regretting too late the error of their ways.
Another case but little less laughable, is that of a Boston girl with a neat little fortune of her own, who, when
married to the young Viennese of her choice, found that he expected her to live with his family on the third
floor of their "palace" (the two lower floors being rented to foreigners), and as there was hardly enough
money for a box at the opera, she was not expected to go, whereas his position made it necessary for him to
have a stall and appear there nightly among the men of his rank, the astonished and disillusioned Bostonian
remaining at home EN TETEATETE with the women of his family, who seemed to think this the most
natural arrangement in the world.
It certainly is astonishing that we, the most patriotic of nations, with such high opinion of ourselves and our
institutions, should be so ready to hand over our daughters and our ducats to the first foreigner who asks for
them, often requiring less information about him than we should consider necessary before buying a horse or
a dog.
Women of no other nation have this mania for espousing aliens. Nowhere else would a girl with a large
fortune dream of marrying out of her country. Her highest ideal of a husband would be a man of her own kin.
It is the rarest thing in the world to find a wellborn French, Spanish, or Italian woman married to a foreigner
and living away from her country. How can a woman expect to be happy separated from all the ties and
traditions of her youth? If she is taken abroad young, she may still hope to replace her friends as is often
done. But the real reason of unhappiness (greater and deeper than this) lies in the fundamental difference of
the whole social structure between our country and that of her adoption, and the radically different way of
looking at every side of life.
Surely a girl must feel that a man who allows a marriage to be arranged for him (and only signs the contact
because its pecuniary clauses are to his satisfaction, and who would withdraw in a moment if these were
suppressed), must have an entirely different point of view from her own on all the vital issues of life.
Foreigners undoubtedly make excellent husbands for their own women. But they are, except in rare cases,
unsatisfactory helpmeets for American girls. It is impossible to touch on more than a side or two of this
subject. But as an illustration the following contrasted stories may be cited:
Two sisters of an aristocratic American family, each with an income of over forty thousand dollars a year,
recently married French noblemen. They naturally expected to continue abroad the life they had led at home,
in which opera boxes, saddle horses, and constant entertaining were matters of course. In both cases, our
compatriots discovered that their husbands (neither of them penniless) had entirely different views. In the
first place, they were told that it was considered "bad form" in France for young married women to entertain;
besides, the money was needed for improvements, and in many other ways, and as every welltodo French
family puts aside at least a third of its income as DOTS for the children (boys as well as girls), these brides
found themselves cramped for money for the first time in their lives, and obliged, during their one month a
year in Paris, to put up with hired traps, and depend on their friends for evenings at the opera.
This story is a telling setoff to the case of an American wife, who one day received a windfall in the form of
a check for a tidy amount. She immediately proposed a trip abroad to her husband, but found that he preferred
to remain at home in the society of his horses and dogs. So our fair compatriot starts off (with his full
consent), has her outing, spends her little "pile," and returns after three or four months to the home of her
delighted spouse.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 5 On Some Gilded Misalliances 13
Page No 16
Do these two stories need any comment? Let our sisters and their friends think twice before they make
themselves irrevocably wheels in a machine whose working is unknown to them, lest they be torn to pieces as
it moves. Having the good luck to be born in the "paradise of women," let them beware how they leave it,
charm the serpent never so wisely, for they may find themselves, like the Peri, outside the gate.
CHAPTER 6 The Complacency of Mediocrity
FULL as small intellects are of queer kinks, unexplained turnings and groundless likes and dislikes, the bland
contentment that buoys up the incompetent is the most difficult of all vagaries to account for. Rarely do
twentyfour hours pass without examples of this exasperating weakness appearing on the surface of those
shallows that commonplace people so naively call "their minds."
What one would expect is extreme modesty, in the halfeducated or the ignorant, and selfapprobation
higher up in the scale, where it might more reasonably dwell. Experience, however, teaches that exactly the
opposite is the case among those who have achieved success.
The accidents of a life turned by chance out of the beaten tracks, have thrown me at times into
acquaintanceship with some of the greater lights of the last thirty years. And not only have they been, as a
rule, most unassuming men and women; but in the majority of cases positively selfdepreciatory; doubting of
themselves and their talents, constantly aiming at greater perfection in their art or a higher development of
their powers, never contented with what they have achieved, beyond the idea that it has been another step
toward their goal. Knowing this, it is always a shock on meeting the mediocre people who form such a
discouraging majority in any society, to discover that they are all so pleased with themselves, their
achievements, their place in the world, and their own ability and discernment!
Who has not sat chafing in silence while Mediocrity, in a white waistcoat and jangling fobs, occupied the
afterdinner hour in imparting secondhand information as his personal views on literature and art? Can you
not hear him saying once again: "I don't pretend to know anything about art and all that sort of thing, you
know, but when I go to an exhibition I can always pick out the best pictures at a glance. Sort of a way I have,
and I never make mistakes, you know."
Then go and watch, as I have, Henri Rochefort as he laboriously forms the opinions that are to appear later in
one of his "SALONS," realizing the while that he is FACILE PRINCEPS among the art critics of his day, that
with a line he can make or mar a reputation and by a word draw the admiring crowd around an unknown
canvas. While Rochefort toils and ponders and hesitates, do you suppose a doubt as to his own astuteness
ever dims the self complacency of White Waistcoat? Never!
There lies the strength of the feebleminded. By a special dispensation of Providence, they can never see but
one side of a subject, so are always convinced that they are right, and from the height of their contentment,
look down on those who chance to differ with them.
A lady who has gathered into her dainty salons the fruit of many years' careful study and tireless "weeding"
will ask anxiously if you are quite sure you like the effect of her latest acquisition some eighteenthcentury
statuette or screen (flotsam, probably, from the great shipwreck of Versailles), and listen earnestly to your
verdict. The good soul who has just furnished her house by contract, with the latest "Louis Fourteenth Street"
productions, conducts you complacently through her chambers of horrors, wreathed in tranquil smiles, born
of ignorance and that smug assurance granted only to the small.
When a small intellect goes in for cultivating itself and improving its mind, you realize what the poet meant
in asserting that a little learning was a dangerous thing. For Mediocrity is apt, when it dines out, to get up a
subject beforehand, and announce to an astonished circle, as quite new and personal discoveries, that the
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 6 The Complacency of Mediocrity 14
Page No 17
Renaissance was introduced into France from Italy, or that Columbus in his day made important "finds."
When the incompetent advance another step and write or paint which, alas! is only too frequent the world
of art and literature is flooded with their productions. When White Waistcoat, for example, takes to painting,
late in life, and comes to you, canvas in hand, for criticism (read praise), he is apt to remark modestly:
"Corot never painted until he was fifty, and I am only fortyeight. So I feel I should not let myself be
discouraged."
The problem of life is said to be the finding of a happiness that is not enjoyed at the expense of others, and
surely this class have solved that Sphinx's riddle, for they float through their days in a dream of complacency
disturbed neither by corroding doubt nor harassed by jealousies.
Whole families of feebleminded people, on the strength of an ancestor who achieved distinction a hundred
years ago, live in constant thanksgiving that they "are not as other men." None of the great man's descendants
have done anything to be particularly proud of since their remote progenitor signed the Declaration of
Independence or governed a colony. They have vegetated in small provincial cities and intermarried into
other equally fortunate families, but the sense of superiority is ever present to sustain them, under straitened
circumstances and diminishing prestige. The world may move on around them, but they never advance. Why
should they? They have reached perfection. The brains and enterprise that have revolutionized our age knock
in vain at their doors. They belong to that vast "majority that is always in the wrong," being so pleased with
themselves, their ways, and their feeble little lines of thought, that any change or advancement gives their
system a shock.
A painter I know was once importuned for a sketch by a lady of this class. After many delays and renewed
demands he presented her one day, when she and some friends were visiting his studio, with a delightful
openair study simply framed. She seemed confused at the offering, to his astonishment, as she had not
lacked APLOMB in asking for the sketch. After much blushing and fumbling she succeeded in getting the
painting loose, and handing back the frame, remarked:
"I will take the painting, but you must keep the frame. My husband would never allow me to accept anything
of value from you!" and smiled on the speechless painter, doubtless charmed with her own tact.
Complacent people are the same drag on a society that a brake would be to a coach going up hill. They are
the "eternal negative" and would extinguish, if they could, any light stronger than that to which their weak
eyes have been accustomed. They look with astonishment and distrust at any one trying to break away from
their tiresome old ways and habits, and wonder why all the world is not as pleased with their personalities as
they are themselves, suggesting, if you are willing to waste your time listening to their twaddle, that there is
something radically wrong in any innovation, that both "Church and State" will be imperilled if things are
altered. No blight, no mildew is more fatal to a plant than the "complacent" are to the world. They resent any
progress and are offended if you mention before them any new standards or points of view. "What has been
good enough for us and our parents should certainly be satisfactory to the younger generations." It seems to
the contented like pure presumption on the part of their acquaintances to wander after strange gods, in the
shape of new ideals, higher standards of culture, or a perfected refinement of surroundings.
We are perhaps wrong to pity complacent people. It is for another class our sympathy should be kept; for
those who cannot refrain from doubting of themselves and the value of their work those unfortunate gifted
and artistic spirits who descend too often the VIA DOLOROSA of discontent and despair, who have a higher
ideal than their neighbors, and, in struggling after an unattainable perfection, fall by the wayside.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 6 The Complacency of Mediocrity 15
Page No 18
CHAPTER 7 The Discontent of Talent
THE complacency that buoys up selfsufficient souls, soothing them with the illusion that they themselves,
their towns, country, language, and habits are above improvement, causing them to shudder, as at a sacrilege,
if any changes are suggested, is fortunately limited to a class of stayathome nonentities. In proportion as it
is common among them, is it rare or delightfully absent in any society of gifted or imaginative people.
Among our globetrotting compatriots this defect is much less general than in the older nations of the world,
for the excellent reason, that the moment a man travels or takes the trouble to know people of different
nationalities, his armor of complacency receives so severe a blow, that it is shattered forever, the wanderer
returning home wiser and much more modest. There seems to be something fatal to conceit in the air of great
centres; professionally or in general society a man so soon finds his level.
The "great world" may foster other faults; human nature is sure to develop some in every walk of life. Smug
contentment, however, disappears in its rarefied atmosphere, giving place to a craving for improvement, a
nervous alertness that keeps the mind from stagnating and urges it on to do its best.
It is never the beautiful woman who sits down in smiling serenity before her mirror. She is tireless in her
efforts to enhance her beauty and set it off to the best advantage. Her figure is never slender enough, nor her
carriage sufficiently erect to satisfy. But the "frump" will let herself and all her surroundings go to seed, not
from humbleness of mind or an overwhelming sense of her own unworthiness, but in pure complacent
conceit.
A criticism to which the highly gifted lay themselves open from those who do not understand them, is their
love of praise, the critics failing to grasp the fact that this passion for measuring one's self with others, like
the gadfly pursuing poor Io, never allows a moment's repose in the green pastures of success, but goads
them constantly up the rocky sides of endeavor. It is not that they love flattery, but that they need approbation
as a counterpoise to the dark moments of selfabasement and as a sustaining aid for higher flights.
Many years ago I was present at a final sitting which my master, Carolus Duran, gave to one of my fair
compatriots. He knew that the lady was leaving Paris on the morrow, and that in an hour, her husband and his
friends were coming to see and criticise the portrait always a terrible ordeal for an artist.
To any one familiar with this painter's moods, it was evident that the result of the sitting was not entirely
satisfactory. The quick breathing, the impatient tapping movement of the foot, the swift backward springs to
obtain a better view, so characteristic of him in moments of doubt, and which had twenty years before earned
him the name of LE DANSEUR from his fellowcopyists at the Louvre, betrayed to even a casual observer
that his discouragement and discontent were at boiling point.
The sound of a bell and a murmur of voices announced the entrance of the visitors into the vast studio. After
the formalities of introduction had been accomplished the newcomers glanced at the portrait, but uttered
never a word. From it they passed in a perfectly casual manner to an inspection of the beautiful contents of
the room, investigating the tapestries, admiring the armor, and finally, after another glance at the portrait, the
husband remarked: "You have given my wife a jolly long neck, haven't you?" and, turning to his friends,
began laughing and chatting in English.
If vitriol had been thrown on my poor master's quivering frame, the effect could not have been more
instantaneous, his ignorance of the language spoken doubtless exaggerating his impression of being ridiculed.
Suddenly he turned very white, and before any of us had divined his intention he had seized a Japanese sword
lying by and cut a dozen gashes across the canvas. Then, dropping his weapon, he flung out of the room,
leaving his sitter and her friends in speechless consternation, to wonder then and ever after in what way they
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 7 The Discontent of Talent 16
Page No 19
had offended him. In their opinions, if a man had talent and understood his business, he should produce
portraits with the same ease that he would answer dinner invitations, and if they paid for, they were in no way
bound also to praise, his work. They were entirely pleased with the result, but did not consider it necessary to
tell him so, no idea having crossed their minds that he might be in one of those moods so frequent with
artistic natures, when words of approbation and praise are as necessary to them, as the air we breathe is to us,
mortals of a commoner clay.
Even in the theatrical and operatic professions, those hotbeds of conceit, you will generally find among the
"stars" abysmal depths of discouragement and despair. One great tenor, who has delighted New York
audiences during several winters past, invariably announces to his intimates on arising that his "voice has
gone," and that, in consequence he will "never sing again," and has to be caressed and cajoled back into some
semblance of confidence before attempting a performance. This same artist, with an almost limitless
repertoire and a reputation no new successes could enhance, recently risked all to sing what he considered a
higher class of music, infinitely more fatiguing to his voice, because he was impelled onward by the ideal that
forces genius to constant improvement and development of its powers.
What the people who meet these artists occasionally at a private concert or behind the scenes during the
intense strain of a representation, take too readily for monumental egoism and conceit, is, the greater part of
the time, merely the desire for a sustaining word, a longing for the stimulant of praise.
All actors and singers are but big children, and must be humored and petted like children when you wish
them to do their best. It is necessary for them to feel in touch with their audiences; to be assured that they are
not falling below the high ideals formed for their work.
Some winters ago a performance at the opera nearly came to a standstill because an allconquering soprano
was found crying in her dressingroom. After many weary moments of consolation and questioning, it came
out that she felt quite sure she no longer had any talent. One of the other singers had laughed at her voice, and
in consequence there was nothing left to live for. A halfhour later, owing to judicious "treatment," she was
singing gloriously and bowing her thanks to thunders of applause.
Rather than blame this divine discontent that has made man what he is today, let us glorify and envy it,
pitying the while the frail mortal vessels it consumes with its flame. No adulation can turn such natures from
their goal, and in the hour of triumph the slave is always at their side to whisper the word of warning. This
discontent is the leaven that has raised the whole loaf of dull humanity to better things and higher efforts,
those privileged to feel it are the suns that illuminate our system. If on these luminaries observers have
discovered spots, it is well to remember that these blemishes are but the defects of their qualities, and better
far than the total eclipse that shrouds so large a part of humanity in colorless complacency.
It will never be known how many masterpieces have been lost to the world because at the critical moment a
friend has not been at hand with the stimulant of sympathy and encouragement needed by an overworked,
straining artist who was beginning to lose confidence in himself; to soothe his irritated nerves with the balm
of praise, and take his poor aching head on a friendly shoulder and let him sob out there all his doubt and
discouragement.
So let us not be niggardly or ungenerous in meting out to struggling fellowbeings their share, and perchance
a little more than their share of approbation and applause, poor enough return, after all, for the pleasure their
labors have procured us. What adequate compensation can we mete out to an author for the hours of delight
and selfforgetfulness his talent has brought to us in moments of loneliness, illness, or grief? What can pay
our debt to a painter who has fixed on canvas the face we love?
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 7 The Discontent of Talent 17
Page No 20
The little return that it is in our power to make for all the joy these gifted fellowbeings bring into our lives is
(closing our eyes to minor imperfections) to warmly applaud them as they move upward, along their stony
path.
CHAPTER 8 Slouch
I SHOULD like to see, in every schoolroom of our growing country, in every business office, at the railway
stations, and on street corners, large placards placed with "Do not slouch" printed thereon in distinct and
imposing characters. If ever there was a tendency that needed nipping in the bud (I fear the bud is fast
becoming a fullblown flower), it is this discouraging national failing.
Each year when I return from my spring wanderings, among the benighted and effete nations of the Old
World, on whom the untravelled American looks down from the height of his superiority, I am struck anew
by the contrast between the trim, wellgroomed officials left behind on one side of the ocean and the
happygo lucky, slouching individuals I find on the other.
As I ride up town this unpleasant impression deepens. In the "little Mother Isle" I have just left, busdrivers
have quite a coaching air, with hat and coat of knowing form. They sport flowers in their buttonholes and
salute other busdrivers, when they meet, with a twist of whip and elbow refreshingly correct, showing that
they take pride in their calling, and have been at some pains to turn themselves out as smart in appearance as
finances would allow.
Here, on the contrary, the stage and cab drivers I meet seem to be under a blight, and to have lost all interest
in life. They lounge on the box, their legs straggling aimlessly, one hand holding the reins, the other hanging
dejectedly by the side. Yet there is little doubt that these heartbroken citizens are earning double what their
London CONFRERES gain. The shadow of the national peculiarity is over them.
When I get to my rooms, the elevator boy is reclining in the lift, and hardly raises his eyelids as he languidly
manoeuvres the rope. I have seen that boy now for months, but never when his boots and clothes were
brushed or when his cravat was not riding proudly above his collar. On occasions I have offered him pins,
which he took wearily, doubtless because it was less trouble than to refuse. The next day, however, his cravat
again rode triumphant, mocking my efforts to keep it in its place. His hair, too, has been a cause of wonder to
me. How does he manage to have it always so long and so unkempt? More than once, when expecting callers,
I have bribed him to have it cut, but it seemed to grow in the night, back to its poetic profusion.
In what does this noble disregard for appearances which characterizes American men originate? Our climate,
as some suggest, or discouragement at not all being millionaires? It more likely comes from an absence with
us of the military training that abroad goes so far toward licking young men into shape.
I shall never forget the surprise on the face of a French statesman to whom I once expressed my sympathy for
his country, laboring under the burden of so vast a standing army. He answered:
"The financial burden is doubtless great; but you have others. Witness your pension expenditures. With us the
money drawn from the people is used in such a way as to be of inestimable value to them. We take the young
hobbledehoy farmhand or mechanic, ignorant, mannerless, uncleanly as he may be, and turn him out at the
end of three years with his regiment, selfrespecting and well mannered, with habits of cleanliness and
obedience, having acquired a bearing, and a love of order that will cling to and serve him all his life. We do
not go so far," he added, "as our English neighbors in drilling men into superb manikins of 'form' and
carriage. Our authorities do not consider it necessary. But we reclaim youths from the slovenliness of their
native village or workshop and make them tidy and mannerly citizens."
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 8 Slouch 18
Page No 21
These remarks came to mind the other day as I watched a group of New England youths lounging on the
steps of the village store, or sitting in rows on a neighboring fence, until I longed to try if even a judicial
arrangement of tacks, 'businessend up,' on these favorite seats would infuse any energy into their
movements. I came to the conclusion that my French acquaintance was right, for the only trimlooking men
to be seen, were either veterans of our war or youths belonging to the local militia. And nowhere does one see
finer specimens of humanity than West Point and Annapolis turn out.
If any one doubts what kind of men slouching youths develop into, let him look when he travels, at the
dejected appearance of the farmhouses throughout our land. Surely our rural populations are not so much
poorer than those of other countries. Yet when one compares the dreary homes of even our welltodo
farmers with the smiling, wellkept hamlets seen in England or on the Continent, such would seem to be the
case.
If ours were an old and bankrupt nation, this air of discouragement and decay could not be greater. Outside of
the big cities one looks in vain for some sign of American dash and enterprise in the appearance of our men
and their homes.
During a journey of over four thousand miles, made last spring as the guest of a gentleman who knows our
country thoroughly, I was impressed most painfully with this abject air. Never in all those days did we see a
fruittree trained on some sunny southern wall, a smiling flowergarden or carefully clipped hedge. My host
told me that hardly the necessary vegetables are grown, the inhabitants of the West and South preferring
canned food. It is less trouble!
If you wish to form an idea of the extent to which slouch prevails in our country, try to start a "village
improvement society," and experience, as others have done, the apathy and illwill of the inhabitants when
you go about among them and strive to summon some of their local pride to your aid.
In the town near which I pass my summers, a large stone, fallen from a passing dray, lay for days in the
middle of the principal street, until I paid some boys to remove it. No one cared, and the dulleyed
inhabitants would doubtless be looking at it still but for my impatience.
One would imagine the villagers were all on the point of moving away (and they generally are, if they can
sell their land), so little interest do they show in your plans. Like all people who have fallen into bad habits,
they have grown to love their slatternly ways and cling to them, resenting furiously any attempt to shake
them up to energy and reform.
The farmer has not, however, a monopoly. Slouch seems ubiquitous. Our railway and steamboat systems
have tried in vain to combat it, and supplied their employees with a livery (I beg the free and independent
voter's pardon, a uniform!), with but little effect. The inherent tendency is too strong for the corporations. The
conductors still shuffle along in their spotted garments, the cap on the back of the head, and their legs
anywhere, while they chew gum in defiance of the whole Board of Directors.
Go down to Washington, after a visit to the Houses of Parliament or the Chamber of Deputies, and observe
the contrast between the bearing of our Senators and Representatives and the air of their CONFRERES
abroad. Our lawmakers seem trying to avoid every appearance of "smartness." Indeed, I am told, so great is
the prejudice in the United States against a wellturnedout man that a candidate would seriously
compromise his chances of election who appeared before his constituents in other than the accustomed
shabby frockcoat, unbuttoned and floating, a pot hat, no gloves, as much doubtfully white shirtfront as
possible, and a wisp of black silk for a tie; and if he can exhibit also a chinwhisker, his chances of election
are materially increased.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 8 Slouch 19
Page No 22
Nothing offends an eye accustomed to our native LAISSER ALLER so much as a wellbrushed hat and
shining boots. When abroad, it is easy to spot a compatriot as soon and as far as you can see one, by his
graceless gait, a cross between a lounge and a shuffle. In reading, or diningroom, he is the only man whose
spine does not seem equal to its work, so he flops and straggles until, for the honor of your land, you long to
shake him and set him squarely on his legs.
No amount of reasoning can convince me that outward slovenliness is not a sign of inward and moral
supineness. A neglected exterior generally means a lax moral code. The man who considers it too much
trouble to sit erect can hardly have given much time to his tub or his toilet. Having neglected his clothes, he
will neglect his manners, and between morals and manners we know the tie is intimate.
In the Orient a new reign is often inaugurated by the construction of a mosque. Vast expense is incurred to
make it as splendid as possible. But, once completed, it is never touched again. Others are built by succeeding
sovereigns, but neither thought nor treasure is ever expended on the old ones. When they can no longer be
used, they are abandoned, and fall into decay. The same system seems to prevail among our private owners
and corporations. Streets are paved, lampposts erected, storefronts carefully adorned, but from the hour the
workman puts his finishing touch upon them they are abandoned to the hand of fate. The mud may cake up
kneedeep, wind and weather work their own sweet will, it is no one's business to interfere.
When abroad one of my amusements has been of an early morning to watch Paris making its toilet. The
streets are taking a bath, liveried attendants are blacking the boots of the lampposts and
newspaperKIOSQUES, the shopfronts are being shaved and having their hair curled, cafe's and restaurants
are putting on clean shirts and tying their cravats smartly before their many mirrors. By the time the world is
up and about, the whole city, smiling freshly from its matutinal tub, is ready to greet it gayly.
It is this attention to detail that gives to Continental cities their air of cheerfulness and thrift, and the utter lack
of it that impresses foreigners so painfully on arriving at our shores.
It has been the fashion to laugh at the dude and his high collar, at the darky in his master's castoff clothes,
aping style and fashion. Better the dude, better the colored dandy, better even the Bowery "tough" with his
affected carriage, for they at least are reaching blindly out after something better than their surroundings,
striving after an ideal, and are in just so much the superiors of the foolish souls who mock them better, even
misguided efforts, than the ignoble stagnant quagmire of slouch into which we seem to be slowly descending.
CHAPTER 9 Social Suggestion
THE question of how far we are unconsciously influenced by people and surroundings, in our likes and
dislikes, our opinions, and even in our pleasures and intimate tastes, is a delicate and interesting one, for the
line between success and failure in the world, as on the stage or in most of the professions, is so narrow and
depends so often on what humor one's "public" happen to be in at a particular moment, that the subject is
worthy of consideration.
Has it never happened to you, for instance, to dine with friends and go afterwards in a jolly humor to the play
which proved so delightful that you insist on taking your family immediately to see it; when to your
astonishment you discover that it is neither clever nor amusing, on the contrary rather dull. Your family look
at you in amazement and wonder what you had seen to admire in such an asinine performance. There was a
case of suggestion! You had been influenced by your friends and had shared their opinions. The same thing
occurs on a higher scale when one is raised out of one's self by association with gifted and original people, a
communion with more cultivated natures which causes you to discover and appreciate a thousand hidden
beauties in literature, art or music that left to yourself, you would have failed to notice. Under these
circumstances you will often be astonished at the point and piquancy of your own conversation. This is but
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 9 Social Suggestion 20
Page No 23
too true of a number of subjects.
We fondly believe our opinions and convictions to be original, and with innocent conceit, imagine that we
have formed them for ourselves. The illusion of being unlike other people is a common vanity. Beware of the
man who asserts such a claim. He is sure to be a bore and will serve up to you, as his own, a muddle of ideas
and opinions which he has absorbed like a sponge from his surroundings.
No place is more propitious for studying this curious phenomenon, than behind the scenes of a theatre, the
last few nights before a first performance. The whole company is keyed up to a point of mutual admiration
that they are far from feeling generally. "The piece is charming and sure to be a success." The author and the
interpreters of his thoughts are in complete communion. The first night comes. The piece is a failure! Drop
into the greenroom then and you will find an astonishing change has taken place. The Star will take you into a
corner and assert that, she "always knew the thing could not go, it was too imbecile, with such a company, it
was folly to expect anything else." The author will abuse the Star and the management. The whole troupe is
frankly disconcerted, like people aroused out of a hypnotic sleep, wondering what they had seen in the play to
admire.
In the social world we are even more inconsistent, accepting with tameness the most astonishing theories and
opinions. Whole circles will go on assuring each other how clever Miss SoandSo is, or, how beautiful they
think someone else. Not because these good people are any cleverer, or more attractive than their neighbors,
but simply because it is in the air to have these opinions about them. To such an extent does this hold good,
that certain persons are privileged to be vulgar and rude, to say impertinent things and make remarks that
would ostracize a less fortunate individual from the polite world for ever; society will only smilingly shrug its
shoulders and say: "It is only Mr. SoandSo's way." It is useless to assert that in cases like these, people are
in possession of their normal senses. They are under influences of which they are perfectly unconscious.
Have you ever seen a piece guyed? Few sadder sights exist, the human being rarely getting nearer the brute
than when engaged in this amusement. Nothing the actor or actress can do will satisfy the public. Men who
under ordinary circumstances would be incapable of insulting a woman, will whistle and stamp and laugh, at
an unfortunate girl who is doing her utmost to amuse them. A terrible example of this was given two winters
ago at one of our concert halls, when a family of Western singers were subjected to absolute illtreatment at
the hands of the public. The young girls were perfectly sincere, in their rude way, but this did not prevent
men from offering them every insult malice could devise, and making them a target for every missile at hand.
So little does the public think for itself in cases like this, that at the opening of the performance had some
wellknown person given the signal for applause, the whole audience would, in all probability, have been
delighted and made the wretched sisters a success.
In my youth it was the fashion to affect admiration for the Italian school of painting and especially for the
great masters of the Renaissance. Whole families of perfectly inartistic English and Americans might then he
heard conscientiously admiring the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or Leonardo's Last Supper (Botticelli had not
been invented then) in the choicest guidebook language.
When one considers the infinite knowledge of technique required to understand the difficulties overcome by
the giants of the Renaissance and to appreciate the intrinsic qualities of their creations, one asks one's self in
wonder what our parents admired in those paintings, and what tempted them to bring home and adorn their
houses with such dreadful copies of their favorites. For if they appreciated the originals they never would
have bought the copies, and if the copies pleased them, they must have been incapable of enjoying the
originals. Yet all these people thought themselves perfectly sincere. Today you will see the same thing
going on before the paintings of Claude Monet and Besnard, the same admiration expressed by people who,
you feel perfectly sure, do not realize why these works of art are superior and can no more explain to you
why they think as they do than the sheep that follow each other through a hole in a wall, can give a reason for
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 9 Social Suggestion 21
Page No 24
their actions.
Dress and fashion in clothes are subjects above all others, where the ineptitude of the human mind is most
evident. Can it be explained in any other way, why the fashions of yesterday always appear so hideous to us,
almost grotesque? Take up an old album of photographs and glance over the faded contents. Was there ever
anything so absurd? Look at the top hats men wore, and at the skirts of the women!
The mother of a family said to me the other day: "When I recall the way in which girls were dressed in my
youth, I wonder how any of us ever got a husband."
Study a photograph of the Empress Eugenie, that supreme arbiter of elegance and grace. Oh! those bunchy
hooped skirts! That awful India shawl pinned off the shoulders, and the bonnet perched on a roll of hair in the
nape of the neck! What were people thinking of at that time? Were they lunatics to deform in this way the
beautiful lines of the human body which it should be the first object of toilet to enhance, or were they only
lacking in the artistic sense? Nothing of the kind. And what is more, they were convinced that the real secret
of beauty in dress had been discovered by them; that past fashions were absurd, and that the future could not
improve on their creations. The sculptors and painters of that day (men of as great talent as any now living),
were enthusiastic in reproducing those monstrosities in marble or on canvas, and authors raved about the
ideal grace with which a certain beauty draped her shawl.
Another marked manner in which we are influenced by circumambient suggestion, is in the transient furore
certain games and pastimes create. We see intelligent people so given over to this influence as barely to allow
themselves time to eat and sleep, begrudging the hours thus stolen from their favorite amusement.
Ten years ago, tennis occupied every moment of our young people's time; now golf has transplanted tennis in
public favor, which does not prove, however, that the latter is the better game, but simply that compelled by
the accumulated force of other people's opinions, youths and maidens, old duffers and mature spinsters are
willing to pass many hours daily in all kinds of weather, solemnly following an indianrubber ball across
tenacre lots.
If you suggest to people who are laboring under the illusion they are amusing themselves that the game,
absorbing so much of their attention, is not as exciting as tennis nor as clever in combinations as croquet, that
in fact it would be quite as amusing to roll an empty barrel several times around a plowed field, they laugh at
you in derision and instantly put you down in their profound minds as a man who does not understand
"sport."
Yet these very people were tennismad twenty years ago and had night come to interrupt a game of croquet
would have ordered lanterns lighted in order to finish the match so enthralling were its intricacies.
Everybody has known how to play BEZIQUE in this country for years, yet within the last eighteen months,
whole circles of our friends have been seized with a midsummer madness and willingly sat glued to a
cardtable through long hot afternoons and again after dinner until day dawned on their folly.
Certain MEMOIRES of Louis Fifteenth's reign tell of an "unravelling" mania that developed at his court. It
began by some people fraying out old silks to obtain the gold and silver threads from wornout stuffs; this
occupation soon became the rage, nothing could restrain the delirium of destruction, great ladies tore
priceless tapestries from their walls and brocades from their furniture, in order to unravel those materials and
as the old stock did not suffice for the demand thousands were spent on new brocades and velvets, which
were instantly destroyed, entertainments were given where unravelling was the only amusement offered, the
entire court thinking and talking of nothing else for months.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 9 Social Suggestion 22
Page No 25
What is the logical deduction to be drawn from all this? Simply that people do not see with their eyes or
judge with their understandings; that an allpervading hypnotism, an ambient suggestion, at times envelops
us taking from people all free will, and replacing it with the taste and judgment of the moment.
The number of people is small in each generation, who are strong enough to rise above their surroundings and
think for themselves. The rest are as dry leaves on a stream. They float along and turn gayly in the eddies,
convinced all the time (as perhaps are the leaves) that they act entirely from their own volition and that their
movements are having a profound influence on the direction and force of the current.
CHAPTER 10 Bohemia
LUNCHING with a talented English comedian and his wife the other day, the conversation turned on
Bohemia, the evasive noman'sland that Thackeray referred to, in so many of his books, and to which he
looked back lovingly in his later years, when, as he said, he had forgotten the road to Prague.
The lady remarked: "People have been more than kind to us here in New York. We have dined and supped
out constantly, and have met with gracious kindness, such as we can never forget. But so far we have not met
a single painter, or author, or sculptor, or a man who has explored a corner of the earth. Neither have we had
the good luck to find ourselves in the same room with Tesla or Rehan, Edison or Drew. We shall regret so
much when back in England and are asked about your people of talent, being obliged to say, 'We never met
any of them.' Why is it? We have not been in any one circle, and have pitched our tents in many cities, during
our tours over here, but always with the same result. We read your American authors as much as, if not more
than, our own. The names of dozens of your discoverers and painters are household words in England. When
my husband planned his first tour over here my one idea was, 'How nice it will be! Now I shall meet those
delightful people of whom I have heard so much.' The disappointment has been complete. Never one have I
seen."
I could not but feel how all too true were the remarks of this intelligent visitor, remembering how quick the
society of London is to welcome a new celebrity or original character, how a place is at once made for him at
every hospitable board, a permanent one to which he is expected to return; and how no Continental
entertainment is considered complete without some bright particular star to shine in the firmament.
"Lionhunting," I hear my reader say with a sneer. That may be, but it makes society worth the candle, which
it rarely is over here. I realized what I had often vaguely felt before, that the Bohemia the English lady was
looking for was not to be found in this country, more's the pity. Not that the elements are lacking. Far from it,
(for even more than in London should we be able to combine such a society), but perhaps from a
misconception of the true idea of such a society, due probably to Henry Murger's dreary book SCENES DE
LA VIE DE BOHEME which is chargeable with the fact that a circle of this kind evokes in the mind of most
Americans visions of a scrubby, poorlyfed and lesswashed community, a world they would hardly dare ask
to their tables for fear of some embarrassing unconventionality of conduct or dress.
Yet that can hardly be the reason, for even in Murger or Paul de Kock, at their worst, the hero is still a
gentleman, and even when he borrows a friend's coat, it is to go to a great house and among people of rank.
Besides, we are becoming too cosmopolitan, and wander too constantly over this little globe, not to have
learned that the Bohemia of 1830 is as completely a thing of the past as a GRISETTE or a glyphisodon. It
disappeared with Gavarni and the authors who described it. Although we have kept the word, its meaning has
gradually changed until it has come to mean something difficult to define, a willo'thewisp, which one
tries vainly to grasp. With each decade it has put on a new form and changed its centre, the one definite fact
being that it combines the better elements of several social layers.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 10 Bohemia 23
Page No 26
Drop in, if you are in Paris and know the way, at one of Madeleine Lemaire's informal evenings in her studio.
There you may find the Prince de Ligne, chatting with Rejane or Coquelin; or Henri d'Orleans, just back from
an expedition into Africa. A little further on, SaintSaens will be running over the keys, preparing an
accompaniment for one of Madame de Tredern's songs. The Princess Mathilde (that passionate lover of art)
will surely be there, and but it is needless to particularize.
Cross the Channel, and get yourself asked to one of Irving's choice suppers after the play. You will find the
bar, the stage, and the pulpit represented there, a "happy family" over which the "Prince" often presides,
smoking cigar after cigar, until the tardy London daylight appears to break up the entertainment.
For both are centres where the gifted and the travelled meet the great of the social world, on a footing of
perfect equality, and where, if any prestige is accorded, it is that of brains. When you have seen these places
and a dozen others like them, you will realize what the actor's wife had in her mind.
Now, let me whisper to you why I think such circles do not exist in this country. In the first place, we are still
too provincial in this big city of ours. New York always reminds me of a definition I once heard of California
fruit: "Very large, with no particular flavor." We are like a boy, who has had the misfortune to grow too
quickly and look like a man, but whose mind has not kept pace with his body. What he knows is undigested
and chaotic, while his appearance makes you expect more of him than he can give hence disappointment.
Our society is yet in knickerbockers, and has retained all sorts of littlenesses and prejudices which older
civilizations have long since relegated to the mental lumber room. An equivalent to this point of view you
will find in England or France only in the smaller "cathedral" cities, and even there the old aristocrats have
the courage of their opinions. Here, where everything is quite frankly on a money basis, and "positions" are
made and lost like a fortune, by a turn of the market, those qualities which are purely mental, and on which it
is hard to put a practical value, are naturally at a discount. We are quite ready to pay for the best. Witness our
private galleries and the opera, but we say, like the parvenu in Emile Augier's delightful comedy LE
GENDRE DE M. POIRIER, "Patronize art? Of course! But the artists? Never!" And frankly, it would be too
much, would it not, to expect a family only half a generation away from an iron foundry, or a mine, to be
willing to receive Irving or Bernhardt on terms of perfect equality?
As it would be unjust to demand a mature mind in the overgrown boy, it is useless to hope for delicate tact
and social feeling from the parvenu. To be gracious and at ease with all classes and professions, one must be
perfectly sure of one's own position, and with us few feel this security, it being based on too frail a
foundation, a crisis in the "street" going a long way towards destroying it.
Of course I am generalizing and doubt not that in many cultivated homes the right spirit exists, but
unfortunately these are not the centres which give the tone to our "world." Lately at one of the most splendid
houses in this city a young Italian tenor had been engaged to sing. When he had finished he stood alone,
unnoticed, unspoken to for the rest of the evening. He had been paid to sing. "What more, in common sense,
could he want?" thought the "world," without reflecting that it was probably not the TENOR who lost by that
arrangement. It needs a delicate hand to hold the reins over the backs of such a finemouthed community as
artists and singers form. They rarely give their best when singing or performing in a hostile atmosphere.
A few years ago when a fancydress ball was given at the Academy of Design, the original idea was to have
it an artists' ball; the community of the brush were, however, approached with such a complete lack of tact
that, with hardly an exception, they held aloof, and at the ball shone conspicuous by their absence.
At present in this city I know of but two hospitable firesides where you are sure to meet the best the city
holds of either foreign or native talent. The one is presided over by the wife of a young composer, and the
other, oddly enough, by two unmarried ladies. An invitation to a dinner or a supper at either of these houses is
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 10 Bohemia 24
Page No 27
as eagerly sought after and as highly prized in the great world as it is by the Bohemians, though neither
"salon" is open regularly.
There is still hope for us, and I already see signs of better things. Perhaps, when my English friend returns in
a few years, we may be able to prove to her that we have found the road to Prague.
CHAPTER 11 Social Exiles
BALZAC, in his COMEDIE HUMAINE, has reviewed with a masterhand almost every phase of the Social
World of Paris down to 1850 and Thackeray left hardly a corner of London High Life unexplored; but so
great have been the changes (progress, its admirers call it,) since then, that, could Balzac come back to his
beloved Paris, he would feel like a foreigner there; and Thackeray, who was among us but yesterday, would
have difficulty in finding his bearings in the sea of the London world today.
We have changed so radically that even a casual observer cannot help being struck by the difference. Among
other most significant "phenomena" has appeared a phase of life that not only neither of these great men
observed (for the very good reason that it had not appeared in their time), but which seems also to have
escaped the notice of the writers of our own day, close observers as they are of any new development. I mean
the class of Social Exiles, pitiable wanderers from home and country, who haunt the Continent, and are to be
found (sad little colonies) in outoftheway corners of almost every civilized country.
To know much of this form of modern life, one must have been a wanderer, like myself, and have pitched his
tent in many queer places; for they are shy game and not easily raised, frequenting mostly quiet old cities like
Versailles and Florence, or inexpensive wateringplaces where their meagre incomes become affluence by
contrast. The first thought on dropping in on such a settlement is, "How in the world did these people ever
drift here?" It is simple enough and generally comes about in this way:
The father of a wealthy family dies. The fortune turns out to be less than was expected. The widow and
children decide to go abroad for a year or so, during their period of mourning, partially for distraction, and
partially (a fact which is not spoken of) because at home they would be forced to change their way of living
to a simpler one, and that is hard to do, just at first. Later they think it will be quite easy. So the family
emigrates, and after a little sightseeing, settles in Dresden or Tours, casually at first, in a hotel. If there are
young children they are made the excuse. "The languages are so important!" Or else one of the daughters
develops a taste for music, or a son takes up the study of art. In a year or two, before a furnished apartment is
taken, the idea of returning is discussed, but abandoned "for the present." They begin vaguely to realize how
difficult it will be to take life up again at home. During all this time their income (like everything else when
the owners are absent) has been slowly but surely disappearing, making the return each year more difficult.
Finally, for economy, an unfurnished apartment is taken. They send home for bits of furniture and family
belongings, and gradually drop into the great army of the expatriated.
Oh, the pathos of it! One who has not seen these poor stranded waifs in their selfimposed exile, with eyes
turned towards their native land, cannot realize all the sadness and loneliness they endure, rarely adopting the
country of their residence but becoming more firmly American as the years go by. The home papers and
periodicals are taken, the American church attended, if there happens to be one; the English chapel, if there is
not. Never a French church! In their hearts they think it almost irreverent to read the service in French. The
acquaintance of a few fellow exiles is made and that of a halfdozen English families, mothers and
daughters and a younger son or two, whom the ferocious primogeniture custom has cast out of the homes of
their childhood to economize on the Continent.
I have in my mind a little settlement of this kind at Versailles, which was a type. The formal old city, fallen
from its grandeur, was a singularly appropriate setting to the little comedy. There the modest purses of the
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 11 Social Exiles 25
Page No 28
exiles found rents within their reach, the quarters vast and airy. The galleries and the park afforded a
diversion, and then Paris, dear Paris, the American Mecca, was within reach. At the time I knew it, the colony
was fairly prosperous, many of its members living in the two or three principal PENSIONS, the others in
apartments of their own. They gave feeble little entertainments among themselves, cardparties and teas, and
dined about with each other at their respective TABLES D'HOTE, even knowing a stray Frenchman or two,
whom the quest of a meal had tempted out of their native fastnesses as it does the wolves in a hard winter.
Writing and receiving letters from America was one of the principal occupations, and an epistle descriptive of
a particular event at home went the rounds, and was eagerly read and discussed.
The merits of the different PENSIONS also formed a subject of vital interest. The advantages and
disadvantages of these rival establishments were, as a topic, never exhausted. MADAME UNE TELLE gave
five o'clock tea, included in the seven francs a day, but her rival gave one more meat course at dinner and her
coffee was certainly better, while a third undoubtedly had a nicer set of people. No one here at home can
realize the importance these matters gradually assume in the eyes of the exiles. Their slender incomes have to
be so carefully handled to meet the strain of even this simple way of living, if they are to show a surplus for a
little trip to the seashore in the summer months, that an extra franc a day becomes a serious consideration.
Every now and then a family strongerminded than the others, or with serious reasons for returning home (a
daughter to bring out or a son to put into business), would break away from its somnolent surroundings and
recross the Atlantic, alternating between hope and fear. It is here that a sad fate awaits these modern Rip
Van Winkles. They find their native cities changed beyond recognition. (For we move fast in these days.) The
mother gets out her visiting list of ten years before and is thunderstruck to find that it contains chiefly names
of the "dead, the divorced, and defaulted." The waves of a decade have washed over her place and the world
she once belonged to knows her no more. The leaders of her day on whose aid she counted have retired from
the fray. Younger, and alas! unknown faces sit in the opera boxes and around the dinner tables where before
she had found only friends. After a feeble little struggle to get again into the "swim," the family drifts back
across the ocean into the quiet back water of a continental town, and goes circling around with the other twigs
and dry leaves, moral flotsam and jetsam, thrown aside by the great rush of the outside world.
For the parents the life is not too sad. They have had their day, and are, perhaps, a little glad in their hearts of
a quiet old age, away from the heat and sweat of the battle; but for the younger generation it is annihilation.
Each year their circle grows smaller. Death takes away one member after another of the family, until one is
left alone in a foreign land with no ties around her, or with her faraway "home," the latter more a name now
than a reality.
A year or two ago I was taking luncheon with our consul at his primitive villa, an hour's ride from the city of
Tangier, a ride made on donkeyback, as no roads exist in that sunny land. After our coffee and cigars, he
took me a halfhour's walk into the wilderness around him to call on his nearest neighbors, whose mode of
existence seemed a source of anxiety to him. I found myself in the presence of two American ladies, the
younger being certainly not less than seventyfive. To my astonishment I found they had been living there
some thirty years, since the death of their parents, in an isolation and remoteness impossible to describe, in an
Arab house, with native servants, "the world forgetting, by the world forgot." Yet these ladies had names well
known in New York fifty years ago.
The glimpse I had of their existence made me thoughtful as I rode home in the twilight, across a suburb none
too safe for strangers. What had the future in store for those two? Or, worse still, for the survivor of those
two? In contrast, I saw a certain humble "home" far away in America, where two old ladies were ending their
lives surrounded by loving friends and relations, honored and cherished and guarded tenderly from the rude
world.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 11 Social Exiles 26
Page No 29
In big cities like Paris and Rome there is another class of the expatriated, the wealthy who have left their
homes in a moment of pique after the failure of some social or political ambition; and who find in these
centres the recognition refused them at home and for which their souls thirsted.
It is not to these I refer, although it is curious to see a group of people living for years in a country of which
they, half the time, do not speak the language (beyond the necessities of house keeping and shopping),
knowing but few of its inhabitants, and seeing none of the society of the place, their acquaintance rarely
going beyond that equivocal, hybrid class that surrounds rich "strangers" and hangs on to the outer edge of
the GRAND MONDE. One feels for this latter class merely contempt, but one's pity is reserved for the
former. What object lessons some lives on the Continent would be to impatient souls at home, who feel
discontented with their surroundings, and anxious to break away and wander abroad! Let them think twice
before they cut the thousand ties it has taken a lifetime to form. Better monotony at your own fireside, my
friends, where at the worst, you are known and have your place, no matter how small, than an old age among
strangers.
CHAPTER 12 "Seven Ages" of Furniture
THE progress through life of activeminded Americans is apt to be a series of transformations. At each
succeeding phase of mental development, an old skin drops from their growing intelligence, and they
assimilate the ideas and tastes of their new condition, with a facility and completeness unknown to other
nations.
One series of metamorphoses particularly amusing to watch is, that of an observant, receptive daughter of
Uncle Sam who, aided and followed (at a distance) by an adoring husband, gradually develops her excellent
brain, and rises through fathoms of selfculture and purblind experiment, to the surface of dilettantism and
connoisseurship. One can generally detect the exact stage of evolution such a lady has reached by the bent of
her conversation, the books she is reading, and, last but not least, by her material surroundings; no outward
and visible signs reflecting inward and spiritual grace so clearly as the objects people collect around them for
the adornment of their rooms, or the way in which those rooms are decorated.
A few years ago, when a young man and his bride set up housekeeping on their own account, the "old
people" of both families seized the opportunity to unload on the beginners (under the pretence of helping
them along) a quantity of furniture and belongings that had (as the shopkeepers say) "ceased to please" their
original owners. The narrow quarters of the tyros are encumbered by ungainly sofas and armchairs, most
probably of carved rosewood. ETAGERES OF the same lugubrious material grace the corners of their tiny
drawing room, the bits of mirror inserted between the shelves distorting the image of the owners into
headless or limbless phantoms. Half of their little diningroom is filled with a blackwalnut sideboard,
ingeniously contrived to take up as much space as possible and hold nothing, its graceless top adorned with a
stag's head carved in wood and imitation antlers.
The novices in their innocence live contented amid their hideous surroundings for a year or two, when the
wife enters her second epoch, which, for want of a better word, we will call the Japanese period. The grim
furniture gradually disappears under a layer of silk and gauze draperies, the bare walls blossom with paper
umbrellas, fans are nailed in groups promiscuously, wherever an empty space offends her eye. Bows of
ribbon are attached to every possible protuberance of the furniture. Even the table service is not spared. I
remember dining at a house in this stage of its artistic development, where the marrow bones that formed one
course of the dinner appeared each with a coquettish little bowknot of pink ribbon around its neck.
Once launched on this sea of adornment, the housewife soon loses her bearings and decorates
indiscriminately. Her old evening dresses serve to drape the mantelpieces, and she passes every spare hour
embroidering, braiding, or fringing some material to adorn her rooms. At Christmas her friends contribute
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 12 "Seven Ages" of Furniture 27
Page No 30
specimens of their handiwork to the collection.
The view of other houses and other decorations before long introduces the worm of discontent into the
blossom of our friend's contentment. The fruit of her labors becomes tasteless on her lips. As the finances of
the family are satisfactory, the re arrangement of the parlor floor is (at her suggestion) confided to a firm of
upholsterers, who make a clean sweep of the rosewood and the bowknots, and retire, after some months of
labor, leaving the delighted wife in possession of a suite of rooms glittering with every monstrosity that an
imaginative tradesman, spurred on by unlimited credit, could devise.
The wood work of the doors and mantels is an intricate puzzle of inlaid woods, the ceilings are panelled and
painted in complicated designs. The "parlor" is provided with a complete set of neat, oldgold satin furniture,
puffed at its angles with peacockcolored plush.
The monumental folding doors between the long, narrow rooms are draped with the same chaste combination
of stuffs.
The diningroom blazes with a gold and purple wall paper, set off by ebonized wood work and furniture. The
conscientious contractor has neglected no corner. Every square inch of the ceilings, walls, and floors has been
carved, embossed, stencilled, or gilded into a bewildering monotony.
The husband, whose affairs are rapidly increasing on his hands, has no time to attend to such insignificant
details as house decoration, the wife has perfect confidence in the taste of the firm employed. So at the
suggestion of the latter, and in order to complete the beauty of the rooms, a Bouguereau, a Toulmouche and a
couple of Schreyers are bought, and a number of modern French bronzes scattered about on the multicolored
cabinets. Then, at last, the happy owners of all this splendor open their doors to the admiration of their
friends.
About the time the peacock plush and the gilding begin to show signs of wear and tear, rumors of a fresh
fashion in decoration float across from England, and the new gospel of the beautiful according to Clarence
Cook is first preached to an astonished nation.
The fortune of our couple continuing to develop with pleasing rapidity, the building of a country house is
next decided upon. A friend of the husband, who has recently started out as an architect, designs them a
picturesque residence without a straight line on its exterior or a square room inside. This house is done up in
strict obedience to the teachings of the new sect. The diningroom is made about as cheerful as the entrance
to a family vault. The rest of the house bears a close resemblance to an ecclesiastical junk shop. The entrance
hall is filled with what appears to be a communion table in solid oak, and the massive chairs and settees of
the parlor suggest the withdrawing room of Rowena, aesthetic shades of momiecloth drape deepset
windows, where anaemic and disjointed females in stained glass pluck conventional roses.
To each of these successive transitions the husband has remained obediently and tranquilly indifferent. He
has in his heart considered them all equally unfitting and uncomfortable and sighed in regretful memory of a
deep, oldfashioned armchair that sheltered his afterdinner naps in the early rosewood period. So far he
has been as clay in the hands of his beloved wife, but the anaemic ladies and the communion table are the last
drop that causes his cup to overflow. He revolts and begins to take matters into his own hands with the result
that the household enters its fifth incarnation under his guidance, during which everything is painted white
and all the wallpapers are a vivid scarlet. The family sit on bogus Chippendale and eat off blue and white
china.
With the building of their grand new house near the park the couple rise together into the sixth cycle of their
development. Having travelled and studied the epochs by this time, they can tell a Louis XIV. from a Louis
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 12 "Seven Ages" of Furniture 28
Page No 31
XV. room, and recognize that mahogany and brass sphinxes denote furniture of the Empire. This newly
acquired knowledge is, however, vague and hazy. They have no confidence in themselves, so give over the
fitting of their principal floors to the New York branch of a great French house. Little is talked of now but
periods, plans, and elevations. Under the guidance of the French firm, they acquire at vast expense, faked
reproductions as historic furniture.
The spacious rooms are sticky with new gilding, and the flowered brocades of the hangings and furniture
crackle to the touch. The rooms were not designed by the architect to receive any special kind of "treatment."
Immense foldingdoors unite the salons, and windows open anywhere. The decorations of the walls have
been applied like a poultice, regardless of the proportions of the rooms and the distribution of the spaces.
Building and decorating are, however, the best of educations. The husband, freed at last from his business
occupations, finds in this new study an interest and a charm unknown to him before. He and his wife are both
vaguely disappointed when their resplendent mansion is finished, having already outgrown it, and recognize
that in spite of correct detail, their costly apartments no more resemble the stately and simple salons seen
abroad than the cabin of a Fall River boat resembles the GALERIE DES GLACES at Versailles. The
humiliating knowledge that they are all wrong breaks upon them, as it is doing on hundreds of others, at the
same time as the desire to know more and appreciate better the perfect productions of this art.
A seventh and last step is before them but they know not how to make it. A surer guide than the upholsterer
is, they know, essential, but their library contains nothing to help them. Others possess the information they
need, yet they are ignorant where to turn for what they require.
With singular appropriateness a volume treating of this delightful "art" has this season appeared at Scribner's.
"The Decoration of Houses" is the result of a woman's faultless taste collaborating with a man's technical
knowledge. Its mission is to reveal to the hundreds who have advanced just far enough to find that they can
go no farther alone, truths lying concealed beneath the surface. It teaches that consummate taste is satisfied
only with a perfected simplicity; that the facades of a house must be the envelope of the rooms within and
adapted to them, as the rooms are to the habits and requirements of them "that dwell therein;" that proportion
is the backbone of the decorator's art and that supreme elegance is fitness and moderation; and, above all, that
an attention to architectural principles can alone lead decoration to a perfect development.
CHAPTER 13 Our Elite and Public Life
THE complaint is so often heard, and seems so well founded, that there is a growing inclination, not only
among men of social position, but also among our best and cleverest citizens, to stand aloof from public life,
and this reluctance on their part is so unfortunate, that one feels impelled to seek out the causes where they
must lie, beneath the surface. At a first glance they are not apparent. Why should not the honor of
representing one's town or locality be as eagerly sought after with us as it is by English or French men of
position? That such is not the case, however, is evident.
Speaking of this the other evening, over my afterdinner coffee, with a highminded and publicspirited
gentleman, who not long ago represented our country at a European court, he advanced two theories which
struck me as being well worth repeating, and which seemed to account to a certain extent for this curious
abstinence.
As a first and most important cause, he placed the fact that neither our national nor (here in New York) our
state capital coincides with our metropolis. In this we differ from England and all the continental countries.
The result is not difficult to perceive. In London, a man of the world, a business man, or a great lawyer, who
represents a locality in Parliament, can fulfil his mandate and at the same time lead his usual life among his
own set. The lawyer or the business man can follow during the day his profession, or those affairs on which
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 13 Our Elite and Public Life 29
Page No 32
he depends to support his family and his position in the world. Then, after dinner (owing to the peculiar hours
adopted for the sittings of Parliament), he can take his place as a lawmaker. If he be a Londonborn man, he
in no way changes his way of life or that of his family. If, on the contrary, he be a county magnate, the
change he makes is all for the better, as it takes him and his wife and daughters up to London, the haven of
their longings, and the centre of all sorts of social dissipations and advancement.
With us, it is exactly the contrary. As the District of Columbia elects no one, everybody living in Washington
officially is more or less expatriated, and the social life it offers is a poor substitute for the circle which most
families leave to go there.
That, however, is not the most important side of the question. Go to any great lawyer of either New York or
Chicago, and propose sending him to Congress or the Senate. His answer is sure to be, "I cannot afford it. I
know it is an honor, but what is to replace the hundred thousand dollars a year which my profession brings
me in, not to mention that all my practice would go to pieces during my absence?" Or again, "How should I
dare to propose to my family to leave one of the great centres of the country to go and vegetate in a little
provincial city like Washington? No, indeed! Public life is out of the question for me!"
Does any one suppose England would have the class of men she gets in Parliament, if that body sat at
Bristol?
Until recently the man who occupied the position of Lord Chancellor made thirty thousand pounds a year by
his profession without interfering in any way with his public duties, and at the present moment a recordership
in London in no wise prevents private practice. Were these gentlemen Americans, they would be obliged to
renounce all hope of professional income in order to serve their country at its Capital.
Let us glance for a moment at the other reason. Owing to our laws (doubtless perfectly reasonable, and which
it is not my intention to criticise,) a man must reside in the place he represents. Here again we differ from all
other constitutional countries. Unfortunately, our clever young men leave the small towns of their birth and
flock up to the great centres as offering wider fields for their advancement. In consequence, the local elector
finds his choice limited to what is left the intellectual skimmed milk, of which the cream has been carried
to New York or other big cities. No country can exist without a metropolis, and as such a centre by a natural
law of assimilation absorbs the best brains of the country, in other nations it has been found to the interests of
all parties to send down brilliant young men to the "provinces," to be, in good time, returned by them to the
national assemblies.
As this is not a political article the simple indication of these two causes will suffice, without entering into the
question of their reasonableness or of their justice. The social bearing of such a condition is here the only side
of the question under discussion; it is difficult to overrate the influence that a man's family exert over his
decisions.
Political ambition is exceedingly rare among our women of position; when the American husband is bitten
with it, the wife submits to, rather than abets, his inclinations. In most cases our women are not cosmopolitan
enough to enjoy being transplanted far away from their friends and relations, even to fill positions of
importance and honor. A New York woman of great frankness and intelligence, who found herself recently in
a Western city under these circumstances, said, in answer to a flattering remark that "the ladies of the place
expected her to become their social leader," "I don't see anything to lead," thus very plainly expressing her
opinion of the situation. It is hardly fair to expect a woman accustomed to the life of New York or the foreign
capitals, to look forward with enthusiasm to a term of years passed in Albany, or in Washington.
In France very much the same state of affairs has been reached by quite a different route. The aristocracy
detest the present government, and it is not considered "good form" by them to sit in the Chamber of
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 13 Our Elite and Public Life 30
Page No 33
Deputies or to accept any but diplomatic positions. They condescend to fill the latter because that entails
living away from their own country, as they feel more at ease in foreign courts than at the Republican
receptions of the Elysee.
There is a deplorable tendency among our selfstyled aristocracy to look upon their circle as a class apart.
They separate themselves more each year from the life of the country, and affect to smile at any of their
number who honestly wish to be of service to the nation. They, like the French aristocracy, are perfectly
willing, even anxious, to fill agreeable diplomatic posts at firstclass foreign capitals, and are naively
astonished when their offers of service are not accepted with gratitude by the authorities in Washington. But
let a husband propose to his better half some humble position in the machinery of our government, and see
what the lady's answer will be.
The opinion prevails among a large class of our wealthy and cultivated people, that to go into public life is to
descend to duties beneath them. They judge the men who occupy such positions with insulting severity,
classing them in their minds as corrupt and selfseeking, than which nothing can be more childish or more
imbecile. Any observer who has lived in the different grades of society will quickly renounce the puerile idea
that sporting or intellectual pursuits are alone worthy of a gentleman's attention. This very political life,
which appears unworthy of their attention to so many men, is, in reality, the great field where the nations of
the world fight out their differences, where the seed is sown that will ripen later into vast crops of truth and
justice. It is (if rightly regarded and honestly followed) the battleground where man's highest qualities are
put to their noblest use that of working for the happiness of others.
CHAPTER 14 The Small Summer Hotel
WE certainly are the most eccentric race on the surface of the globe and ought to be a delight to the soul of an
explorer, so full is our civilization of contradictions, unexplained habits and curious customs. It is quite
unnecessary for the inquisitive gentlemen who pass their time prying into other people's affairs and then
returning home to write books about their discoveries, to risk their lives and digestions in long journeys into
Central Africa or to the frozen zones, while so much good material lies ready to their hands in our own land.
The habits of the "natives" in New England alone might occupy an active mind indefinitely, offering as
interesting problems as any to be solved by penetrating Central Asia or visiting the maneating tribes of
Australia.
Perhaps one of our scientific celebrities, before undertaking his next long voyage, will find time to make
observations at home and collect sufficient data to answer some questions that have long puzzled my
unscientific brain. He would be doing good work. Fame and honors await the man who can explain why, for
instance, sane Americans of the better class, with money enough to choose their surroundings, should pass so
much of their time in hotels and boarding houses. There must be a reason for the vogue of these retreats
every action has a cause, however remote. I shall await with the deepest interest a paper on this subject from
one of our great explorers, untoward circumstances having some time ago forced me to pass a few days in a
popular establishment of this class.
During my visit I amused myself by observing the inmates and trying to discover why they had come there.
So far as I could find out, the greater part of them belonged to our welltodo class, and when at home
doubtless lived in luxurious houses and were waited on by trained servants. In the small summer hotel where
I met them, they were living in dreary little ten by twelve foot rooms, containing only the absolute necessities
of existence, a washstand, a bureau, two chairs and a bed. And such a bed! One mattress about four inches
thick over squeaking slats, cotton sheets, so nicely calculated to the size of the bed that the slightest move on
the part of the sleeper would detach them from their moorings and undo the housemaid's work; two limp,
discouraged pillows that had evidently been "banting," and a few towels a foot long with a surface like
sandpaper, completed the fittings of the room. Baths were unknown, and hot water was a luxury distributed
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 14 The Small Summer Hotel 31
Page No 34
sparingly by a capricious handmaiden. It is only fair to add that everything in the room was perfectly clean, as
was the coarse table linen in the dining room.
The meals were in harmony with the rooms and furniture, consisting only of the strict necessities, cooked
with a Spartan disregard for such sybarite foibles as seasoning or dressing. I believe there was a substantial
meal somewhere in the early morning hours, but I never succeeded in getting down in time to inspect it. By
successful bribery, I induced one of the village belles, who served at table, to bring a cup of coffee to my
room. The first morning it appeared already poured out in the cup, with sugar and cold milk added at her
discretion. At one o'clock a dinner was served, consisting of soup (occasionally), one meat dish and attendant
vegetables, a meagre dessert, and nothing else. At halfpast six there was an equally rudimentary meal, called
"tea," after which no further food was distributed to the inmates, who all, however, seemed perfectly
contented with this arrangement. In fact they apparently looked on the act of eating as a disagreeable task, to
be hurried through as soon as possible that they might return to their aimless rocking and chattering.
Instead of dinner hour being the feature of the day, uniting people around an attractive table, and attended by
conversation, and the meal lasting long enough for one's food to be properly eaten, it was rushed through as
though we were all trying to catch a train. Then, when the meal was over, the boarders relapsed into apathy
again.
No one ever called this hospitable home a boardinghouse, for the proprietor was furious if it was given that
name. He also scorned the idea of keeping a hotel. So that I never quite understood in what relation he stood
toward us. He certainly considered himself our host, and ignored the financial side of the question severely.
In order not to hurt his feelings by speaking to him of money, we were obliged to get our bills by strategy
from a male subordinate. Mine host and his family were apparently unaware that there were people under
their roof who paid them for board and lodging. We were all looked upon as guests and "entertained," and our
rights impartially ignored.
Nothing, I find, is so distinctive of New England as this graceful veiling of the practical side of life. The
landlady always reminded me, by her manner, of Barrie's description of the bill sticker's wife who "cut" her
husband when she chanced to meet him "professionally" engaged. As a result of this extreme detachment
from things material, the house ran itself, or was run by incompetent Irish and negro "help." There were no
bells in the rooms, which simplified the service, and nothing could be ordered out of meal hours.
The material defects in board and lodging sink, however, into insignificance before the moral and social
unpleasantness of an establishment such as this. All ages, all conditions, and all creeds are promiscuously
huddled together. It is impossible to choose whom one shall know or whom avoid. A horrible burlesque of
family life is enabled, with all its inconveniences and none of its sanctity. People from different cities, with
different interests and standards, are expected to "chum" together in an intimacy that begins with the eight
o'clock breakfast and ends only when all retire for the night. No privacy, no isolation is allowed. If you take a
book and begin to read in a remote corner of a parlor or piazza, some idle matron or idiotic girl will tranquilly
invade your poor little bit of privacy and gabble of her affairs and the day's gossip. There is no escape unless
you mount to your tenby twelve cell and sit (like the Premiers of England when they visit Balmoral) on the
bed, to do your writing, for want of any other conveniences. Even such retirement is resented by the boarders.
You are thought to be haughty and to give yourself airs if you do not sit for twelve consecutive hours each
day in unending conversation with them.
When one reflects that thousands of our countrymen pass at least onehalf of their lives in these asylums, and
that thousands more in America know no other homes, but move from one hotel to another, while the same
outlay would procure them cosy, cheerful dwellings, it does seem as if these modern Arabs, Holmes's
"Folding Bed ouins," were gradually returning to prehistoric habits and would end by eating roots
promiscuously in caves.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 14 The Small Summer Hotel 32
Page No 35
The contradiction appears more marked the longer one reflects on the love of independence and impatience
of all restraint that characterize our race. If such an institution had been conceived by people of the Old
World, accustomed to moral slavery and to a thousand petty tyrannies, it would not be so remarkable, but that
we, of all the races of the earth, should have created a form of torture unknown to Louis XI. or to the Spanish
Inquisitors, is indeed inexplicable! Outside of this happy land the institution is unknown. The PENSION
when it exists abroad, is only an exotic growth for an American market. Among European nations it is
undreamed of; the poorest when they travel take furnished rooms, where they are served in private, or go to
restaurants or TABLE D'HOTES for their meals. In a strictly continental hotel the public parlor does not
exist. People do not travel to make acquaintances, but for health or recreation, or to improve their minds. The
enforced intimacy of our American family house, with its attendant quarrelling and backbiting, is an
infliction of which Europeans are in happy ignorance.
One explanation, only, occurs to me, which is that among New England people, largely descended from
Puritan stock, there still lingers some blind impulse at selfmortification, an hereditary inclination to make
this life as disagreeable as possible by self immolation. Their ancestors, we are told by Macaulay,
suppressed bull baiting, not because it hurt the bull, but because it gave pleasure to the people. Here in New
England they refused the Roman dogma of Purgatory and then with complete inconsistency, invented the
boardinghouse, in order, doubtless, to take as much of the joy as possible out of this life, as a preparation for
endless bliss in the next.
CHAPTER 15 A False Start
HAVING had, during a wandering existence, many opportunities of observing my compatriots away from
home and familiar surroundings in various circles of cosmopolitan society, at foreign courts, in diplomatic
life, or unofficial capacities, I am forced to acknowledge that whereas my countrywoman invariably assumed
her new position with grace and dignity, my countryman, in the majority of cases, appeared at a disadvantage.
I take particular pleasure in making this tribute to my "sisters" tact and wit, as I have been accused of being
"hard" on American women, and some halfhumorous criticisms have been taken seriously by
oversusceptible women doubtless troubled with guilty consciences for nothing is more exact than the old
French proverb, "It is only the truth that wounds."
The fact remains clear, however, that American men, as regards polish, facility in expressing themselves in
foreign languages, the arts of pleasing and entertaining, in short, the thousand and one nothings composing
that agreeable whole, a cultivated member of society, are inferior to their womankind. I feel sure that all
Americans who have travelled and have seen their compatriot in his social relations with foreigners, will
agree with this, reluctant as I am to acknowledge it.
That a sister and brother brought up together, under the same influences, should later differ to this extent
seems incredible. It is just this that convinces me we have made a false start as regards the education and
ambitions of our young men.
To find the reasons one has only to glance back at our past. After the struggle that insured our existence as a
united nation, came a period of great prosperity. When both seemed secure, we did not pause and take breath,
as it were, before entering a new epoch of development, but dashed ahead on the old lines. It is here that we
got on the wrong road. Naturally enough too, for our peculiar position on this continent, far away from the
centres of cultivation and art, surrounded only by less successful states with which to compare ourselves, has
led us into forming erroneous ideas as to the proportions of things, causing us to exaggerate the value of
material prosperity and undervalue matters of infinitely greater importance, which have been neglected in
consequence.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 15 A False Start 33
Page No 36
A man who, after fighting through our late war, had succeeded in amassing a fortune, naturally wished his
son to follow him on the only road in which it had ever occurred to him that success was of any importance.
So beyond giving the boy a college education, which he had not enjoyed, his ambition rarely went; his idea
being to make a practical business man of him, or a lawyer, that he could keep the estate together more
intelligently. In thousands of cases, of course, individual taste and bent overruled this influence, and a career
of science or art was chosen; but in the mass of the American people, it was firmly implanted that the pursuit
of wealth was the only occupation to which a reasonable human being could devote himself. A young man
who was not in some way engaged in increasing his income was looked upon as a very undesirable member
of society, and sure, sooner or later, to come to harm.
Millionaires declined to send their sons to college, saying they would get ideas there that would unfit them
for business, to Paterfamilias the one object of life. Under such fostering influences, the ambitions in our
country have gradually given way to money standards and the false start has been made! Leaving aside at
once the question of money in its relation to our politics (although it would be a fruitful subject for
moralizing), and confining ourselves strictly to the social side of life, we soon see the results of this mammon
worship.
In England (although Englishmen have been contemptuously called the shopkeepers of the world) the
extension and maintenance of their vast empire is the mainspring which keeps the great machine in
movement. And one sees tens of thousands of wellborn and delicatelybred men cheerfully entering the
many branches of public service where the hope of wealth can never come, and retiring on pensions or
halfpay in the strength of their middle age, apparently without a regret or a thought beyond their country's
wellbeing.
In France, where the passionate love of their own land has made colonial extension impossible, the modern
Frenchman of education is more interested in the yearly exhibition at the SALON or in a successful play at
the FRANCAIS, than in the stock markets of the world.
Would that our young men had either of these bents! They have copied from England a certain love of sport,
without the English climate or the calm of country and garrison life, to make these sports logical and
necessary. As the young American millionaire thinks he must go on increasing his fortune, we see the
anomaly of a man working through a summer's day in Wall Street, then dashing in a train to some suburban
club, and appearing a halfhour later on the polo field. Next to wealth, sport has become the ambition of the
wealthy classes, and has grown so into our college life that the number of students in the freshman class of
our great universities is seriously influenced by that institution's losses or gains at football.
What is the result of all this? A young man starts in life with the firm intention of making a great deal of
money. If he has any time left from that occupation he will devote it to sport. Later in life, when he has
leisure and travels, or is otherwise thrown with cultivated strangers, he must naturally be at a disadvantage.
"Shop," he cannot talk; he knows that is vulgar. Music, art, the drama, and literature are closed books to him,
in spite of the fact that he may have a box on the grand tier at the opera and a couple of dozen highpriced
"masterpieces" hanging around his drawing rooms. If he is of a finer clay than the general run of his class,
he will realize dimly that somehow the goal has been missed in his life race. His chase after the material has
left him so little time to cultivate the ideal, that he has prepared himself a sad and aimless old age; unless he
can find pleasure in doing as did a man I have been told about, who, receiving half a dozen millions from his
father's estate, conceived the noble idea of increasing them so that he might leave to each of his four children
as much as he had himself received. With the strictest economy, and by suppressing out of his life and that of
his children all amusements and superfluous outlay, he has succeeded now for many years in living on the
income of his income. Time will never hang heavy on this Harpagon's hands. He is a perfectly happy
individual, but his conversation is hardly of a kind to attract, and it may be doubted if the rest of the family
are as much to be envied.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 15 A False Start 34
Page No 37
An artist who had lived many years of his life in Paris and London was speaking the other day of a curious
phase he had remarked in our American life. He had been accustomed over there to have his studio the
meetingplace of friends, who would drop in to smoke and lounge away an hour, chatting as he worked. To
his astonishment, he tells me that since he has been in New York not one of the many men he knows has ever
passed an hour in his rooms. Is not that a significant fact? Another remark which points its own moral was
repeated to me recently. A foreigner visiting here, to whom American friends were showing the sights of our
city, exclaimed at last: "You have not pointed out to me any celebrities except millionaires. 'Do you see that
man? he is worth ten millions. Look at that house! it cost one million dollars, and there are pictures in it
worth over three million dollars. That trotter cost one hundred thousand dollars,' etc." Was he not right? And
does it not give my reader a shudder to see in black and white the phrases that are, nevertheless, so often on
our lips?
This levelling of everything to its cash value is so ingrained in us that we are unconscious of it, as we are of
using slang or local expressions until our attention is called to them. I was present once at a farce played in a
London theatre, where the audience went into roars of laughter every time the stage American said, "Why,
certainly." I was indignant, and began explaining to my English friend that we never used such an absurd
phrase. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Why, certainly," I said, and stopped, catching the twinkle in his eye.
It is very much the same thing with money. We do not notice how often it slips into the conversation. "Out of
the fullness of the heart the mouth speaketh." Talk to an American of a painter and the charm of his work. He
will be sure to ask, "Do his pictures sell well?" and will lose all interest if you say he can't sell them at all. As
if that had anything to do with it!
Remembering the wellknown anecdote of Schopenhauer and the gold piece which he used to put beside his
plate at the TABLE D'HOTE, where he ate, surrounded by the young officers of the German army, and which
was to be given to the poor the first time he heard any conversation that was not about promotion or women, I
have been tempted to try the experiment in our clubs, changing the subjects to stocks and sport, and feel
confident that my contributions to charity would not ruin me.
All this has had the result of making our men dull companions; after dinner, or at a country house, if the
subject they love is tabooed, they talk of nothing! It is sad for a rich man (unless his mind has remained
entirely between the leaves of his ledger) to realize that money really buys very little, and above a certain
amount can give no satisfaction in proportion to its bulk, beyond that delight which comes from a sense of
possession. Croesus often discovers as he grows old that he has neglected to provide himself with the only
thing that "is a joy for ever" a cultivated intellect in order to amass a fortune that turns to ashes, when he
has time to ask of it any of the pleasures and resources he fondly imagined it would afford him. Like
Talleyrand's young man who would not learn whist, he finds that he has prepared for himself a dreadful old
age!
CHAPTER 16 A Holy Land
NOT long ago an article came under my notice descriptive of the neighborhood around Grant's tomb and the
calm that midsummer brings to that vicinity, laughingly referred to as the "Holy Land."
As careless fingers wandering over the strings of a violin may unintentionally strike a chord, so the writer of
those lines, all unconsciously, with a jest, set vibrating a world of tender memories and associations; for the
region spoken of is truly a holy land to me, the playground of my youth, and connected with the sweetest ties
that can bind one's thoughts to the past.
Ernest Renan in his SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE, tells of a Brittany legend, firmly believed in that wild land,
of the vanished city of "Is," which ages ago disappeared beneath the waves. The peasants still point out at a
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 16 A Holy Land 35
Page No 38
certain place on the coast the site of the fabled city, and the fishermen tell how during great storms they have
caught glimpses of its belfries and ramparts far down between the waves; and assert that on calm summer
nights they can hear the bells chiming up from those depths. I also have a vanished "Is" in my heart, and as I
grow older, I love to listen to the murmurs that float up from the past. They seem to come from an infinite
distance, almost like echoes from another life.
At that enchanted time we lived during the summers in an old wooden house my father had rearranged into
a fairly comfortable dwelling. A tradition, which no one had ever taken the trouble to verify, averred that
Washington had once lived there, which made that hero very real to us. The picturesque old house stood high
on a slope where the land rises boldly; with an admirable view of distant mountain, river and opposing
Palisades.
The new Riverside drive (which, by the bye, should make us very lenient toward the men who robbed our
city a score of years ago, for they left us that vast work in atonement), has so changed the neighborhood it is
impossible now for pious feet to make a pilgrimage to those childish shrines. One house, however, still stands
as when it was our nearest neighbor. It had sheltered General Gage, land for many acres around had belonged
to him. He was an enthusiastic gardener, and imported, among a hundred other fruits and plants, the "Queen
Claude" plum from France, which was successfully acclimated on his farm. In New York a plum of that kind
is still called a "green gage." The house has changed hands many times since we used to play around the
Grecian pillars of its portico. A recent owner, dissatisfied doubtless with its classic simplicity, has painted it a
cheerful mustard color and crowned it with a fine new MANSARD roof. Thus disfigured, and shorn of its
surrounding trees, the poor old house stands blankly by the roadside, reminding one of the Greek statue in
Anstey's "Painted Venus" after the London barber had decorated her to his taste. When driving by there now,
I close my eyes.
Another house, where we used to be taken to play, was that of Audubon, in the park of that name. Many a
rainy afternoon I have passed with his children choosing our favorite birds in the glass cases that filled every
nook and corner of the tumbledown old place, or turning over the leaves of the enormous volumes he would
so graciously take down from their places for our amusement. I often wonder what has become of those vast
INFOLIOS, and if any one ever opens them now and admires as we did the glowing colored plates in which
the old ornithologist took such pride. There is something infinitely sad in the idea of a collection of books
slowly gathered together at the price of privations and sacrifices, cherished, fondled, lovingly read, and then
at the owner's death, coldly sent away to stand for ever unopened on the shelves of some public library. It is
like neglecting poor dumb children!
An event that made a profound impression on my childish imagination occurred while my father, who was
never tired of improving our little domain, was cutting a pathway down the steep side of the slope to the
river. A great slab, dislodged by a workman's pick, fell disclosing the grave of an Indian chief. In a low
archway or shallow cave sat the skeleton of the chieftain, his bows and arrows arranged around him on the
ground, mingled with fragments of an elaborate costume, of which little remained but the beadwork. That it
was the tomb of a man great among his people was evident from the care with which the grave had been
prepared and then hidden, proving how, hundreds of years before our civilization, another race had chosen
this noble cliff and stately river landscape as the fitting framework for a great warrior's tomb.
This discovery made no little stir in the scientific world of that day. Hundreds came to see it, and as
photography had not then come into the world, many drawings were made and casts taken, and finally the
whole thing was removed to the rooms of the Historical Society. From that day the lonely little path held an
awful charm for us. Our childish readings of Cooper had developed in us that love of the Indian and his wild
life, so characteristic of boyhood thirty years ago. On still summer afternoons, the place had a primeval calm
that froze the young blood in our veins. Although we prided ourselves on our quality as "braves," and secretly
pined to be led on the warpath, we were shy of walking in that vicinity in daylight, and no power on earth,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 16 A Holy Land 36
Page No 39
not even the offer of the tomahawk or snowshoes for which our souls longed, would have taken us there at
night.
A place connected in my memory with a tragic association was across the river on the last southern slope of
the Palisades. Here we stood breathless while my father told the brief story of the duel between Burr and
Hamilton, and showed us the rock stained by the younger man's lifeblood. In those days there was a simple
iron railing around the spot where Hamilton had expired, but of later years I have been unable to find any
trace of the place. The tide of immigration has brought so deep a deposit of "saloons" and suburban "balls"
that the very face of the land is changed, old lovers of that shore know it no more. Never were the environs of
a city so wantonly and recklessly degraded. Municipalities have vied with millionaires in soiling and
debasing the exquisite shores of our river, that, thirty years ago, were unrivalled the world over.
The glamour of the past still lies for me upon this landscape in spite of its many defacements. The river
whispers of boyish boating parties, and the woods recall a thousand childish hopes and fears, resolute
departures to join the pirates, or the red men in their strongholds journeys boldly carried out until twilight
cooled our courage and the supperhour proved a stronger temptation than war and carnage.
When I sat down this summer evening to write a few lines about happy days on the banks of the Hudson, I
hardly realized how sweet those memories were to me. The rewriting of the old names has evoked from their
long sleep so many loved faces. Arms seem reaching out to me from the past. The house is very still tonight. I
seem to be nearer my loved dead than to the living. The bells of my lost "Is" are ringing clear in the silence.
CHAPTER 17 Royalty At Play
FEW more amusing sights are to be seen in these days, than that of crowned heads running away from their
dull old courts and functions, roughing it in hotels and villas, gambling, yachting and playing at being rich
nobodies. With much intelligence they have all chosen the same Republican playground, where visits cannot
possibly be twisted into meaning any new "combination" or political move, thus assuring themselves the
freedom from care or responsibility, that seems to be the aim of their existence. Alongside of welltodo
Royalties in good paying situations, are those out of a job, who are looking about for a "place." One cannot
take an afternoon's ramble anywhere between Cannes and Mentone without meeting a halfdozen of these
magnates.
The other day, in one short walk, I ran across three Empresses, two Queens, and an Heirapparent, and then
fled to my hotel, fearing to be unfitted for America, if I went on "keeping such company." They are knowing
enough, these wandering great ones, and after trying many places have hit on this charming coast as offering
more than any other for their comfort and enjoyment. The vogue of these sunny shores dates from their
annexation to France, a price Victor Emmanuel reluctantly paid for French help in his war with Austria.
Napoleon III.'s demand for Savoy and this littoral, was first made known to Victor Emmanuel at a state ball
at Genoa. Savoy was his birthplace and his home! The King broke into a wild temper, cursing the French
Emperor and making insulting allusions to his parentage, saying he had not one drop of Bonaparte blood in
his veins. The King's frightened courtiers tried to stop this outburst, showing him the French Ambassador at
his elbow. With a superhuman effort Victor Emmanuel controlled himself, and turning to the Ambassador,
said:
"I fear my tongue ran away with me!" With a smile and a bow the great French diplomatist remarked:
"SIRE, I am so deaf I have not heard a word your Majesty has been saying!"
The fashion of coming to the Riviera for health or for amusement, dates from the sixties, when the Empress
of Russia passed a winter at Nice, as a last attempt to prolong the existence of the dying Tsarewitsch, her son.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 17 Royalty At Play 37
Page No 40
There also the next season the Duke of Edinburgh wooed and won her daughter (then the greatest heiress in
Europe) for his bride. The world moves fast and a journey it required a matter of life and death to decide on,
then, is gayly undertaken now, that a prince may race a yacht, or a princess try her luck at the gambling
tables. When one reflects that the "royal caste," in Europe alone, numbers some eight hundred people, and
that the East is beginning to send out its more enterprising crowned heads to get a taste of the fun, that
beyond drawing their salaries, these good people have absolutely nothing to do, except to amuse themselves,
it is no wonder that this happy land is crowded with royal pleasureseekers.
After a try at Florence and Aix, "the Queen" has been faithful to Cimiez, a charming site back of Nice. That
gay city is always EN FETE the day she arrives, as her carriages pass surrounded by French cavalry, one can
catch a glimpse of her big face, and dowdy little figure, which nevertheless she can make so dignified when
occasion requires. The stay here is, indeed, a holiday for this recordbreaking sovereign, who potters about
her private grounds of a morning in a donkeychair, sunning herself and watching her Battenberg
grandchildren at play. In the afternoon, she drives a couple of hours in an open carriage one outrider in
black livery alone distinguishing her turnout from the others.
The Prince of Wales makes his headquarters at Cannes where he has poor luck in sailing the Brittania, for
which he consoles himself with jolly dinners at Monte Carlo. You can see him almost any evening in the
RESTAURANT DE PARIS, surrounded by his own particular set, the Duchess of Devonshire (who started
a penniless German officer's daughter, and became twice a duchess); Lady de Grey and Lady Wolverton,
both showing near six feet of slender English beauty; at their side, and lovelier than either, the Countess of
Essex. The husbands of these "Merry Wives" are absent, but do not seem to be missed, as the ladies sit
smoking and laughing over their coffee, the party only breaking up towards eleven o'clock to try its luck at
TRENTE ET QUARANTE, until a "special" takes them back to Cannes.
He is getting sadly old and fat, is England's heir, the likeness to his mamma becoming more marked each
year. His voice, too, is oddly like hers, deep and guttural, more adapted to the paternal German (which all this
family speak when alone) than to his native English. Hair, he has none, except a little fringe across the back
of his head, just above a fine large roll of fat that blushes above his shirtcollar. Too bad that this discovery
of the microbe of baldness comes rather late for him! He has a pleasant twinkle in his small eyes, and an
entire absence of POSE, that accounts largely for his immense and enduring popularity.
But the Hotel Cap Martin shelters quieter crowned heads. The Emperor and Empress of Austria, who tramp
about the hilly roads, the King and Queen of Saxony and the fat Archduchess Stephanie. Austria's Empress
looks sadly changed and ill, as does another lady of whom one can occasionally catch a glimpse, walking
painfully with a crutchstick in the shadow of the trees near her villa. It is hard to believe that this
whitehaired, bent old woman was once the imperial beauty who from the salons of the Tuileries dictated the
fashions of the world! Few have paid so dearly for their brief hour of splendor!
Cannes with its excellent harbor is the centre of interest during the racing season when the Tsarewitsch comes
on his yacht Czaritza. At the Battle of Flowers, one is pretty sure to see the Duke of Cambridge, his Imperial
Highness, the Grand Duke Michael, Prince Christian of Denmark, H.R.H. the Duke of Nassau, H.R.H. the
Archduke Ferdinand d'Este, their Serene Highnesses of Mecklenburg Schwerin and the
SaxeCoburgGothas, also H.R.H. Marie Valerie and the SchleswigHolsteins, pelting each other and the
public with CONFETTI and flowers. Indeed, half the A1MANACH DE GOTHA, that continental "society
list," seems to be sunning itself here and forgetting its cares, on bicycles or on board yachts. It is said that the
Crown Princess of Honolulu (whoever she may be) honors Mentone with her presence, and the newly
deposed Queen "Ranavalo" of Madagascar is EN ROUTE to join in the fun.
This crowd of royalty reminds me of a story the old seadogs who gather about the "Admirals' corner" of the
Metropolitan Club in Washington, love to tell you. An American cockswain, dazzled by a doubly royal visit,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 17 Royalty At Play 38
Page No 41
with attending suites, on board the old "Constitution," came up to his commanding officer and touching his
cap, said:
"Beg pardon, Admiral, but one of them kings has tumbled down the gangway and broke his leg."
It has become a much more amusing thing to wear a crown than it was. Times have changed indeed since
Marie Laczinska lived the fifty lonely years of her wedded life and bore her many children, in one bedroom
at Versailles a monotony only broken by visits to Fontainebleau or Marly. Shakespeare's line no longer fits
the case.
Beyond securing rich matches for their children, and keeping a sharp lookout that the Radicals at home do not
unduly cut down their civil lists, these great ones have little but their amusements to occupy them. Do they
ever reflect, as they rush about visiting each other and squabbling over precedence when they meet, that some
fine morning the taxpayers may wake up, and ask each other why they are being crushed under such heavy
loads, that eight hundred or more quite useless people may pass their lives in foreign wateringplaces, away
from their homes and their duties? It will be a bad day for them when the longsuffering subjects say to
them, "Since we get on so exceedingly well during your many visits abroad, we think we will try how it will
work without you at all!"
The Prince of little Monaco seems to be about the only one up to the situation, for he at least stays at home,
and in connection with two other gentlemen runs an exceedingly good hotel and several restaurants on his
estates, doing all he can to attract money into the place, while making the strictest laws to prevent his subjects
gambling at the famous tables. Now if other royalties instead of amusing themselves all the year round would
go in for something practical like this, they might become useful members of the community. This idea of
Monaco's Prince strikes one as most timely, and as opening a career for other indigent crowned heads. Hotels
are getting so good and so numerous, that without some especial "attraction" a new one can hardly succeed;
but a "Hohenzollern House" well situated in Berlin, with William II. to receive the tourists at the door, and
his fat wife at the desk, would be sure to prosper. It certainly would be pleasanter for him to spend money so
honestly earned than the millions wrested from halfstarving peasants which form his present income.
Besides there is almost as much gold lace on a hotel employee's livery as on a court costume!
The numerous crowned heads one meets wandering about, can hardly lull themselves over their "games" with
the flattering unction that they are of use, for, have they not France before them (which they find so much to
their taste) stronger, richer, more respected than ever since she shook herself free of such incumbrances? Not
to mention our own democratic country, which has managed to hold its own, in spite of their many gleeful
predictions to the contrary.
CHAPTER 18 A Rock Ahead
HAVING had occasion several times during this past season, to pass by the larger stores in the vicinity of
Twentythird Street, I have been struck more than ever, by the endless flow of womankind that beats against
the doors of those establishments. If they were temples where a beneficent deity was distributing health,
learning, and all the good things of existence, the rush could hardly have been greater. It saddened me to
realize that each of the eager women I saw was, on the contrary, dispensing something of her strength and
brain, as well as the wearily earned stipend of the men of her family (if not her own), for what could be of
little profit to her.
It occurred to me that, if the people who are so quick to talk about the elevating and refining influences of
women, could take an hour or two and inspect the centres in question, they might not be so firm in their
beliefs. For, reluctant as I am to acknowledge it, the one great misfortune in this country, is the unnatural
position which has been (from some mistaken idea of chivalry) accorded to women here. The result of
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 18 A Rock Ahead 39
Page No 42
placing them on this pedestal, and treating them as things apart, has been to make women in America poorer
helpmeets to their husbands than in any other country on the face of the globe, civilized or uncivilized.
Strange as it may appear, this is not confined to the rich, but permeates all classes, becoming more harmful in
descending the social scale, and it will bring about a disintegration of our society, sooner than could be
believed. The saying on which we have all been brought up, viz., that you can gauge the point of civilization
attained in a nation by the position it accords to woman, was quite true as long as woman was considered
man's inferior. To make her his equal was perfectly just; all the trouble begins when you attempt to make her
man's superior, a something apart from his working life, and not the companion of his troubles and cares, as
she was intended to be.
When a small shopkeeper in Europe marries, the next day you will see his young wife taking her place at the
desk in his shop. While he serves his customers, his smiling spouse keeps the books, makes change, and has
an eye on the employees. At noon they dine together; in the evening, after the shop is closed, are pleased or
saddened together over the results of the day. The wife's DOT almost always goes into the business, so that
there is a community of interest to unite them, and their lives are passed together. In this country, what
happens? The husband places his new wife in a small house, or in two or three furnished rooms, generally so
far away that all idea of dining with her is impossible. In consequence, he has a "quick lunch" down town,
and does not see his wife between eight o'clock in the morning and seven in the evening. His business is a
closed book to her, in which she can have no interest, for her weary husband naturally revolts from talking
"shop," even if she is in a position to understand him.
His false sense of shielding her from the rude world makes him keep his troubles to himself, so she rarely
knows his financial position and sulks over his "meanness" to her, in regard to pinmoney; and being a
perfectly idle person, her days are apt to be passed in a way especially devised by Satan for unoccupied
hands. She has learned no cooking from her mother; "going to market" has become a thing of the past. So she
falls a victim to the allurements of the bargaincounter; returning home after hours of aimless wandering,
irritable and aggrieved because she cannot own the beautiful things she has seen. She passes the evening in
trying to win her husband's consent to some purchase he knows he cannot afford, while it breaks his heart to
refuse her some object, which, were she really his companion, she would not have had the time to see or the
folly to ask for.
The janitor in our building is truly a toiler. He rarely leaves his dismal quarters under the sidewalk, but
"Madam" walks the streets clad in sealskin and silk, a "Gainsborough" crowning her false "bang." I always
think of Max O'Rell's clever saying, when I see her: "The sweat of the American husband crystallizes into
diamond earrings for the American woman." My janitress sports a diminutive pair of those jewels and has
hopes of larger ones! Instead of "doing" the bachelor's rooms in the building as her husband's helpmeet, she
"does" her spouse, and a charwoman works for her. She is one of the drops in the tide that ebbs and flows
on Twentythird Street a discontented woman placed in a false position by our absurd customs.
Go a little further up in the social scale and you will find the same "detached" feeling. In a household I know
of only one horse and a COUPE can be afforded. Do you suppose it is for the use of the weary breadwinner?
Not at all. He walks from his home to the "elevated." The carriage is to take his wife to teas or the park. In a
year or two she will go abroad, leaving him alone to turn the crank that produces the income. As it is, she
always leaves him for six months each year in a halfclosed house, to the tender mercies of a caretaker. Two
additional words could be advantageously added to the wedding service. After "for richer for poorer," I
should like to hear a bride promise to cling to her husband "for winter for summer!"
Make another step up and stand in the entrance of a house at two A.M., just as the cotillion is commencing,
and watch the couples leaving. The husband, who has been in Wall Street all day, knows that he must be
there again at nine next morning. He is furious at the lateness of the hour, and dropping with fatigue. His
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 18 A Rock Ahead 40
Page No 43
wife, who has done nothing to weary her, is equally enraged to be taken away just as the ball was becoming
amusing. What a happy, united pair they are as the footman closes the door and the carriage rolls off home!
Who is to blame? The husband is vainly trying to lead the most exacting of double lives, that of a business
man all day and a society man all night. You can pick him out at a glance in a ballroom. His eye shows you
that there is no rest for him, for he has placed his wife at the head of an establishment whose working crushes
him into the mud of care and anxiety. Has he any one to blame but himself?
In England, I am told, the man of a family goes up to London in the spring and gets his complete outfit, down
to the smallest details of hatbox and umbrella. If there happens to be money left, the wife gets a new gown
or two: if not, she "turns" the old ones and rejoices vicariously in the splendor of her "lord." I know one
charming little home over there, where the ladies cannot afford a ponycarriage, because the three
indispensable hunters eat up the wherewithal.
Thackeray was delighted to find one household (Major Ponto's) where the governess ruled supreme, and I
feel a fiendish pleasure in these accounts of a country where men have been able to maintain some rights, and
am moved to preach a crusade for the liberation of the American husband, that the poor, downtrodden
creature may revolt from the slavery where he is held and once more claim his birthright. If he be prompt to
act (and is successful) he may work such a reform that our girls, on marrying, may feel that some duties and
responsibilities go with their new positions; and a state of things be changed, where it is possible for a woman
to be pitied by her friends as a model of abnegation, because she has decided to remain in town during the
summer to keep her husband company and make his weary homecoming brighter. Or where (as in a story
recently heard) a foreigner on being presented to an American bride abroad and asking for her husband, could
hear in answer: "Oh, he could not come; he was too busy. I am making my weddingtrip without him."
CHAPTER 19 The Grand Prix
IN most cities, it is impossible to say when the "season" ends. In London and with us in New York it
dwindles off without any special finish, but in Paris it closes like a trapdoor, or the curtain on the last scene
of a pantomime, while the lights are blazing and the orchestra is banging its loudest. The GRAND PRIX,
which takes place on the second Sunday in June, is the climax of the spring gayeties. Up to that date, the
social pace has been getting faster and faster, like the finish of the big race itself, and fortunately for the lives
of the women as well as the horses, ends as suddenly.
In 1897, the last steeple chase at Auteuil, which precedes the GRANDPRIX by one week, was won by a
horse belonging to an actress of the THEATRE FRANCAIS, a lady who has been a great deal before the
public already in connection with the life and death of young Lebaudy. This youth having had the misfortune
to inherit an enormous fortune, while still a mere boy, plunged into the wildest dissipation, and became the
prey of a band of sharpers and blacklegs. Mlle. Marie Louise Marsy appears to have been the one person who
had a sincere affection for the unfortunate youth. When his health gave way during his military service, she
threw over her engagement with the FRANCAIS, and nursed her lover until his death a devotion rewarded
by the gift of a million.
At the present moment, four or five of the band of selfstyled noblemen who traded on the boy's inexperience
and generosity, are serving out terms in the state prisons for blackmailing, and the THEATRE FRANCAIS
possesses the anomaly of a young and beautiful actress, who runs a racing stable in her own name.
THE GRAND PRIX dates from the reign of Napoleon III., who, at the suggestion of the great railway
companies, inaugurated this race in 1862, in imitation of the English Derby, as a means of attracting people to
Paris. The city and the railways each give half of the fortythousanddollar prize. It is the great official race
of the year. The President occupies the central pavilion, surrounded by the members of the cabinet and the
diplomatic corps. On the tribunes and lawn can be seen the TOUT PARIS all the celebrities of the great and
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 19 The Grand Prix 41
Page No 44
halfworld who play such an important part in the life of France's capital. The whole colony of the
RASTAQUOUERES, is sure to be there, "RASTAS," as they are familiarly called by the Parisians, who
make little if any distinction in their minds between a South American (blazing in diamonds and vulgar
clothes) and our own select (?) colony. Apropos of this inability of the Europeans to appreciate our fine social
distinctions, I have been told of a wellborn New Yorker who took a French noblewoman rather to task for
receiving an American she thought unworthy of notice, and said:
"How can you receive her? Her husband keeps a hotel!"
"Is that any reason?" asked the Frenchwoman; "I thought all Americans kept hotels."
For the GRAND PRIX, every woman not absolutely bankrupt has a new costume, her one idea being a
CREATION that will attract attention and eclipse her rivals. The dressmakers have had a busy time of it for
weeks before.
Every horse that can stand up is pressed into service for the day. For twentyfour hours before, the whole city
is EN FETE, and Paris EN FETE is always a sight worth seeing. The natural gayety of the Parisians, a
characteristic noticed (if we are to believe the historians) as far back as the conquest of Gaul by Julius Caesar,
breaks out in all its amusing spontaneity. If the day is fine, the entire population gives itself up to amusement.
From early morning the current sets towards the charming corner of the Bois where the Longchamps
racecourse lies, picturesquely encircled by the Seine (alive with a thousand boats), and backed by the woody
slopes of Suresnes and St. Cloud. By noon every corner and vantage point of the landscape is seized upon,
when, with a blare of trumpets and the rattle of cavalry, the President arrives in his turnout A LA
DAUMONT, two postilions in blue and gold, and a PIQUEUR, preceded by a detachment of the showy
GARDES REPUBLICAINS on horseback, and takes his place in the little pavilion where for so many years
Eugenie used to sit in state, and which has sheltered so many crowned heads under its simple roof. Faure's
arrival is the signal for the racing to begin, from that moment the interest goes on increasing until the great
"event." Then in an instant the vast throng of human beings breaks up and flows homeward across the Bois,
filling the big Place around the Arc de Triomphe, rolling down the Champs Elysees, in twenty parallel lines
of carriages. The sidewalks are filled with a laughing, singing, uproarious crowd that quickly invades every
restaurant, CAFE, or chophouse until their little tables overflow on to the grass and sidewalks, and even
into the middle of the streets. Later in the evening the openair concerts and theatres are packed, and every
little square organizes its impromptu ball, the musicians mounted on tables, and the crowd dancing gayly on
the wooden pavement until daybreak.
The next day, Paris becomes from a fashionable point of view, "impossible." If you walk through the richer
quarters, you will see only long lines of closed windows. The approaches to the railway stations are blocked
with cabs piled with trunks and bicycles. The "great world" is fleeing to the seashore or its CHATEAUX, and
Paris will know it no more until January, for the French are a countryloving race, and since there has been
no court, the aristocracy pass longer and longer periods on their own estates each year, partly from choice and
largely to show their disdain for the republic and its entertainments.
The shady drives in the park, which only a day or two ago were so brilliant with smart traps and spring
toilets, are become a cool wilderness, where will meet, perhaps, a few maiden ladies exercising fat dogs,
uninterrupted except by the wateringcart or by a few stray tourists in cabs. Now comes a delightful time for
the real amateur of Paris and the country around, which is full of charming corners where one can dine at
quiet little restaurants, overhanging the water or buried among trees. You are sure of getting the best of
attention from the waiters, and the dishes you order receive all the cook's attention. Of an evening the Bois is
alive with a myriad of bicycles, their lights twinkling among the trees like manycolored fireflies. To any
one who knows how to live there, Paris is at its best in the last half of June and July. Nevertheless, in a couple
of days there will not be an American in Paris, London being the objective point; for we love to be "in at the
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 19 The Grand Prix 42
Page No 45
death," and a coronation, a musical festival, or a big race is sure to attract all our floating population.
The Americans who have the hardest time in Paris are those who try to "run with the deer and hunt with the
hounds," as the French proverb has it, who would fain serve God and Mammon. As anything especially
amusing is sure to take place on Sunday in this wicked capital, our friends go through agonies of indecision,
their consciences pulling one way, their desire to amuse themselves the other. Some find a middle course, it
seems, for yesterday this conversation was overheard on the steps of the American Church:
FIRST AMERICAN LADY: "Are you going to stop for the sermon?"
SECOND AMERICAN LADY: "I am so sorry I can't, but the races begin at one!"
CHAPTER 20 "The Treadmill."
A HALFHUMOROUS, halfpathetic epistle has been sent to me by a woman, who explains in it her
particular perplexity. Such letters are the windfalls of our profession! For what is more attractive than to have
a woman take you for her lay confessor, to whom she comes for advice in trouble? opening her innocent heart
for your inspection!
My correspondent complains that her days are not sufficiently long, nor is her strength great enough, for the
thousand and one duties and obligations imposed upon her. "If," she says, "a woman has friends and a small
place in the world and who has not in these days? she must golf or 'bike' or skate a bit, of a morning; then
she is apt to lunch out, or have a friend or two in, to that meal. After luncheon there is sure to be a 'class' of
some kind that she has foolishly joined, or a charity meeting, matinee, or reception; but above all, there are
her 'duty' calls. She must be home at five to make tea, that she has promised her men friends, and they will
not leave until it is time for her to dress for dinner, 'out' or at home, with often the opera, a supper, or a ball to
follow. It is quite impossible," she adds, "under these circumstances to apply one's self to anything serious, to
read a book or even open a periodical. The most one can accomplish is a glance at a paper."
Indeed, it would require an exceptional constitution to carry out the above programme, not to mention the
attention that a woman must (however reluctantly) give to her house and her family. Where are the quiet
hours to be found for selfculture, the perusal of a favorite author, or, perhaps, a little timid "writing" on her
own account? Nor does this treadmill round fill a few months only of her life. With slight variations of scene
and costume, it continues through the year.
A painter, I know, was fortunate enough to receive, a year or two ago, the commission to paint a wellknown
beauty. He was delighted with the idea and convinced that he could make her portrait the best work of his
life, one that would be the steppingstone to fame and fortune. This was in the spring. He was naturally
burning to begin at once, but found to his dismay that the lady was just about starting for Europe. So he
waited, and at her suggestion installed himself a couple of months later at the seaside city where she had a
cottage. No one could be more charming than she was, inviting him to dine and drive daily, but when he
broached the subject of "sitting," was "too busy just that day." Later in the autumn she would be quite at his
disposal. In the autumn, however, she was visiting, never ten days in the same place. Early winter found her
"getting her house in order," a mysterious rite apparently attended with vast worry and fatigue. With cooling
enthusiasm, the painter called and coaxed and waited. November brought the opera and the full swing of a
New York season. So far she has given him half a dozen sittings, squeezed in between a luncheon, which
made her "unavoidably late," for which she is charmingly "sorry," and a reception that she was forced to
attend, although "it breaks my heart to leave just as you are beginning to work so well, but I really must, or
the tiresome old cat who is giving the tea will be saying all sorts of unpleasant things about me." So she flits
off, leaving the poor, disillusioned painter before his canvas, knowing now that his dream is over, that in a
month or two his pretty sitter will be off again to New Orleans for the carnival, or abroad, and that his weary
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 20 "The Treadmill." 43
Page No 46
round of waiting will recommence. He will be fortunate if some day it does not float back to him, in the
mysterious way disagreeable things do come to one, that she has been heard to say, "I fear dear Mr. Palette is
not very clever, for I have been sitting to him for over a year, and he has really done nothing yet."
He has been simply the victim of a state of affairs that neither of them were strong enough to break through.
It never entered into Beauty's head that she could lead a life different from her friends. She was honestly
anxious to have a successful portrait of herself, but the sacrifice of any of her habits was more than she could
make.
Who among my readers (and I am tempted to believe they are all more sensible than the above young
woman) has not, during a summer passed with agreeable friends, made a thousand pleasant little plans with
them for the ensuing winter, the books they were to read at the same time, the "exhibitions" they were to
see, the visits to our wonderful collections in the Metropolitan Museum or private galleries, cosy little
dinners, etc.? And who has not found, as the winter slips away, that few of these charming plans have been
carried out? He and his friends have unconsciously fallen back into their ruts of former years, and the
pleasant things projected have been brushed aside by that strongest of tyrants, habit.
I once asked a very great lady, whose gracious manner was never disturbed, who floated through the endless
complications of her life with smiling serenity, how she achieved this Olympian calm. She was good enough
to explain. "I make a list of what I want to do each day. Then, as I find my day passing, or I get behind, or
tired, I throw over every other engagement. I could have done them all with hurry and fatigue. I prefer to do
onehalf and enjoy what I do. If I go to a house, it is to remain and appreciate whatever entertainment has
been prepared for me. I never offer to any hostess the slight of a hurried, DISTRAIT 'call,' with glances at my
watch, and an 'onthewing' manner. It is much easier not to go, or to send a card."
This brings me around to a subject which I believe is one of the causes of my correspondent's dilemma. I fear
that she never can refuse anything. It is a peculiar trait of people who go about to amuse themselves, that they
are always sure the particular entertainment they have been asked to last is going to "be amusing." It rarely is
different from the others, but these people are convinced, that to stay away would be to miss something. A
wearylooking girl about 1 A.M. (at a houseparty) when asked why she did not go to bed if she was so
tired, answered, "the nights I go to bed early, they always seem to do something jolly, and then I miss it."
There is no greater proof of how much this weary round wears on women than the acts of the few who feel
themselves strong enough in their position to defy custom. They have thrown off the yoke (at least the
younger ones have) doubtless backed up by their husbands, for men are much quicker to see the aimlessness
of this stupid social routine. First they broke down the great NewYearcall "grind." Men over forty
doubtless recall with a shudder, that awful custom which compelled a man to get into his dress clothes at ten
A.M., and pass his day rushing about from house to house like a postman. Outoftown clubs and sport
helped to do away with that remnant of New Amsterdam. Next came the male revolt from the afternoon "tea"
or "musical." A black coat is rare now at either of these functions, or if seen is pretty sure to be on a back
over fifty. Next, we lords of creation refused to call at all, or leave our cards. A married woman now leaves
her husband's card with her own, and sisters leave the "pasteboard" of their brothers and often those of their
brothers' friends. Any combination is good enough to "shoot a card."
In London the men have gone a step further. It is not uncommon to hear a young man boast that he never
owned a visiting card or made a "duty" call in his life. Neither there nor with us does a man count as a "call"
a quiet cup of tea with a woman he likes, and a cigarette and quiet talk until dressing time. Let the young
women have courage and take matters into their own hands. (The older ones are hopeless and will go on
pushing this Juggernaut car over each other's weary bodies, until the end of the chapter.) Let them have the
courage occasionally to "refuse" something, to keep themselves free from aimless engagements, and bring
this paste board war to a close. If a woman is attractive, she will be asked out all the same, never fear! If she
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 20 "The Treadmill." 44
Page No 47
is not popular, the few dozen of "eggshell extra" that she can manage to slip in at the front doors of her
acquaintances will not help her much.
If this matter is, however, so vastly important in women's eyes, why not adopt the continental and diplomatic
custom and send cards by post or otherwise? There, if a newcomer dines out and meets twentyfive people
for the first time, cards must be left the next day at their twentyfive respective residences. How the cards get
there is of no importance. It is a diplomatic fiction that the new acquaintance has called in person, and the call
will be returned within twentyfour hours. Think of the saving of time and strength! In Paris, on New Year's
Day, people send cards by post to everybody they wish to keep up. That does for a year, and no more is
thought about it. All the time thus gained can be given to culture or recreation.
I have often wondered why one sees so few women one knows at our picture exhibitions or flower shows. It
is no longer a mystery to me. They are all busy trotting up and down our long side streets leaving cards.
Hideous vision! Should Dante by any chance reincarnate, he would find here the material ready made to his
hand for an eighth circle in his INFERNO.
CHAPTER 21 "Like Master Like Man."
A FREQUENT and naive complaint one hears, is of the unsatisfactoriness of servants generally, and their
ingratitude and astonishing lack of affection for their masters, in particular. "After all I have done for them,"
is pretty sure to sum up the long tale of a housewife's griefs. Of all the delightful inconsistencies that grace
the female mind, this latter point of view always strikes me as being the most complete. I artfully lead my fair
friend on to tell me all about her woes, and she is sure to be exquisitely onesided and quite unconscious of
her position. "They are so extravagant, take so little interest in my things, and leave me at a moment's notice,
if they get an idea I am going to break up. Horrid things! I wish I could do without them! They cause me
endless worry and annoyance." My friend is very nearly right, but with whom lies the fault?
The conditions were bad enough years ago, when servants were kept for decades in the same family,
descending like heirlooms from father to son, often (abroad) being the foster sisters or brothers of their
masters, and bound to the household by an hundred ties of sympathy and tradition. But in our day, and in
America, where there is rarely even a common language or nationality to form a bond, and where households
are broken up with such facility, the relation between master and servant is often so strained and so
unpleasant that we risk becoming (what foreigners reproach us with being), a nation of hoteldwellers. Nor is
this classfeeling greatly to be wondered at. The contrary would be astonishing. From the primitive
household, where a poor neighbor comes in as "help," to the "great" establishment where the butler and
housekeeper eat apart, and a group of plushclad flunkies imported from England adorn the entrancehall,
nothing could be better contrived to set one class against another than domestic service.
Proverbs have grown out of it in every language. "No man is a hero to his valet," and "familiarity breeds
contempt," are clear enough. Our comic papers are full of the misunderstandings and absurdities of the
situation, while one rarely sees a joke made about the other ways that the poor earn their living. Think of it
for a moment! To be obliged to attend people at the times of day when they are least attractive, when from
fatigue or temper they drop the mask that society glues to their faces so many hours in the twentyfour; to see
always the seamy side of life, the small expedients, the aids to nature; to stand behind a chair and hear an
acquaintance of your master's ridiculed, who has just been warmly praised to his face; to see a hostess who
has been graciously urging her guests "not to go so soon," blurt out all her boredom and thankfulness "that
those tiresome SoandSo's" are "paid off at last," as soon as the door is closed behind them, must needs give
a curious bent to a servant's mind. They see their employers insincere, and copy them. Many a mistress who
has been smilingly assured by her maid how much her dress becomes her, and how young she is looking,
would be thunderstruck to hear herself laughed at and criticised (none too delicately) five minutes later in that
servant's talk.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 21 "Like Master Like Man." 45
Page No 48
Servants are trained from their youth up to conceal their true feelings. A domestic who said what she thought
would quickly lose her place. Frankly, is it not asking a good deal to expect a maid to be very fond of a lady
who makes her sit up night after night until the small hours to unlace her bodice or take down her hair; or
imagine a valet can be devoted to a master he has to get into bed as best he can because he is too tipsy to get
there unaided? Immortal "Figaro" is the type! Supple, liar, corrupt, intelligent, he aids his master and laughs
at him, feathering his own nest the while. There is a saying that "horses corrupt whoever lives with them." It
would be more correct to say that domestic service demoralizes alike both master and man.
Already we are obliged to depend on immigration for our servants because an American revolts from the
false position, though he willingly accepts longer hours or harder work where he has no one around him but
his equals. It is the old story of the free, hungry wolf, and the wellfed, but chained, housedog. The
foreigners that immigration now brings us, from countries where great class distinctions exist, find it natural
to "serve." With the increase in education and consequent selfrespect, the difficulty of getting efficient and
contented servants will increase with us. It has already become a great social problem in England. The trouble
lies beneath the surface. If a superior class accept service at all, it is with the intention of quickly getting
money enough to do something better. With them service is merely the means to an end. A first step on the
ladder!
Bad masters are the cause of so much suffering, that to protect themselves, the great brotherhood of servants
have imagined a system of keeping run of "places," and giving them a "character" which an aspirant can find
out with little trouble. This organization is so complete, and so well carried out, that a household where the
lady has a "temper," where the food is poor, or which breaks up often, can rarely get a firstclass domestic.
The "place" has been boycotted, a good servant will sooner remain idle than enter it. If circumstances are too
much for him and he accepts the situation, it is with his eyes open, knowing infinitely more about his new
employers and their failings than they dream of, or than they could possibly find out about him.
One thing never can be sufficiently impressed on people, viz.: that we are forced to live with detectives,
always behind us in caps or dresssuits, ready to note every careless word, every incautious criticism of
friend or acquaintance their money matters or their love affairs and who have nothing more interesting to
do than to repeat what they have heard, with embroideries and additions of their own. Considering this, and
that nine people out of ten talk quite oblivious of their servants' presence, it is to be wondered at that so little
(and not that so much) trouble is made.
It always amuses me when I ask a friend if she is going abroad in the spring, to have her say "Hush!" with a
frightened glance towards the door.
"I am; but I do not want the servants to know, or the horrid things would leave me!"
Poor, simple lady! They knew it before you did, and had discussed the whole matter over their "tea" while it
was an almost unuttered thought in your mind. If they have not already given you notice, it is because, on the
whole your house suits them well enough for the present, while they look about. Do not worry your simple
soul, trying to keep anything from them. They know the amount of your last dressmaker's bill, and the row
your husband made over it. They know how much you would have liked young "Croesus" for your daughter,
and the little tricks you played to bring that marriage about. They know why you are no longer asked to dine
at Mrs. Swell's, which is more than you know yourself. Mrs. Swell explained the matter to a few friends over
her lunchtable recently, and the butler told your maid that same evening, who was laughing at the story as
she put on your slippers!
Before we blame them too much, however, let us remember that they have it in their power to make great
trouble if they choose. And considering the little that is made in this way, we must conclude that, on the
whole, they are better than we give them credit for being, and fill a trying situation with much good humor
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 21 "Like Master Like Man." 46
Page No 49
and kindliness. The lady who is astonished that they take so little interest in her, will perhaps feel differently
if she reflects how little trouble she has given herself to find out their anxieties and griefs, their temptations
and heartburnings; their material situation; whom they support with their slowly earned wages, what claims
they have on them from outside. If she will also reflect on the number of days in a year when she is "not
herself," when headaches or disappointments ruffle her charming temper, she may come to the conclusion
that it is too much to expect all the virtues for twenty dollars a month.
A little more human interest, my good friends, a little more indulgence, and you will not risk finding yourself
in the position of the lady who wrote me that last summer she had been obliged to keep open house for
"'Cook' tourists!"
CHAPTER 22 An English Invasion of the Riviera
WHEN sixty years ago Lord Brougham, EN ROUTE for Italy, was thrown from his travelling berline and his
leg was broken, near the Italian hamlet of Cannes, the Riviera was as unknown to the polite world as the
centre of China. The GRAND TOUR which every young aristocrat made with his tutor, on coming of age,
only included crossing from France into Italy by the Alps. It was the occurrence of an unusually severe winter
in Switzerland that turned Brougham aside into the longer and less travelled route VIA the Corniche, the
marvellous Roman road at that time fallen into oblivion, and little used even by the local peasantry.
During the tedious weeks while his leg was mending, Lord Brougham amused himself by exploring the
surrounding country in his carriage, and was quick to realize the advantages of the climate, and appreciate the
marvellous beauty of that coast. Before the broken member was whole again, he had bought a tract of land
and begun a villa. Small seed, to furnish such a harvest! To the traveller of today the Riviera offers an
almost unbroken chain of beautiful residences from Marseilles to Genoa.
A Briton willingly follows where a lord leads, and Cannes became the centre of English fashion, a position it
holds today in spite of many attractive rivals, and the defection of Victoria who comes now to Cimiez, back
of Nice, being unwilling to visit Cannes since the sudden death there of the Duke of Albany. A statue of Lord
Brougham, the "discoverer" of the littoral, has been erected in the sunny little square at Cannes, and the
English have in many other ways, stamped the city for their own.
No other race carry their individuality with them as they do. They can live years in a country and assimilate
none of its customs; on the contrary, imposing habits of their own. It is just this that makes them such
wonderful colonizers, and explains why you will find little groups of English people drinking ale and playing
golf in the shade of the Pyramids or near the frozen slopes of Foosiyama. The real inwardness of it is that
they are a dull race, and, like dull people despise all that they do not understand. To differ from them is to be
in the wrong. They cannot argue with you; they simply know, and that ends the matter.
I had a discussion recently with a Briton on the pronunciation of a word. As there is no "Institute," as in
France, to settle matters of this kind, I maintained that we Americans had as much authority for our
pronunciation of this particular word as the English. The answer was characteristic.
"I know I am right," said my Island friend, "because that is the way I pronounce it!"
Walking along the principal streets of Cannes today, you might imagine yourself (except for the climate) at
Cowes or Brighton, so British are the shops and the crowd that passes them. Every restaurant advertises
"afternoon tea" and Bass's ale, and every other sign bears a London name. This little matter of tea is
particularly characteristic of the way the English have imposed a taste of their own on a rebellious nation.
Nothing is further from the French taste than teadrinking, and yet a Parisian lady will now invite you
gravely to "five o'clocker" with her, although I can remember when that beverage was abhorred by the French
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 22 An English Invasion of the Riviera 47
Page No 50
as a medicine; if you had asked a Frenchman to take a cup of tea, he would have answered:
"Why? I am not ill!"
Even Paris (that supreme and undisputed arbiter of taste) has submitted to English influence; tailormade
dresses and lowheeled shoes have become as "good form" in France as in London. The last two Presidents
of the French Republic have taken the oath of office dressed in frockcoats instead of the dress clothes to
which French officials formerly clung as to the sacraments.
The municipalities of the little Southern cities were quick to seize their golden opportunity, and everything
was done to detain the rich English wandering down towards Italy. Millions were spent in transforming their
cramped, dirty, little towns. Wide boulevards bordered with palm and eucalyptus spread their sunny lines in
all directions, being baptized PROMENADE DES ANGLAIS or BOULEVARD VICTORIA, in artful
flattery. The narrow mountain roads were widened, casinos and theatres built and carnival FETES organized,
the cities offering "cups" for yacht or horseraces, and giving grounds for tennis and golf clubs. Clever
Southern people! The money returned to them a hundredfold, and they lived to see their wild coast become
the chosen residence of the wealthiest aristocracy in Europe, and the rocky hillsides blossom into terrace
above terrace of villa gardens, where palm and rose and geranium vie with the olive and the mimosa to shade
the white villas from the sun. Today, no little town on the coast is without its English chapel, British club,
tennis ground, and golf links. On a fair day at Monte Carlo, Nice, or Cannes, the prevailing conversation is in
English, and the handsome, well dressed sons of Albion lounge along beside their astonishing womankind
as thoroughly at home as on Bond Street.
Those wonderful English women are the source of unending marvel and amusement to the French. They can
never understand them, and small wonder, for with the exception of the small "set" that surrounds the Prince
of Wales, who are dressed in the Parisian fashion, all English women seem to be overwhelmed with regret at
not being born men, and to have spent their time and ingenuity since, in trying to make up for nature's
mistake. Every masculine garment is twisted by them to fit the female figure; their conversation, like that of
their brothers, is about horses and dogs; their hats and gloves are the same as the men's; and when with their
fine, large feet in stout shoes they start off, with that particular swinging gait that makes the skirt seem
superfluous, for a stroll of twenty miles or so, Englishwomen do seem to the uninitiated to have succeeded in
their ambition of obliterating the difference between the sexes.
It is of an evening, however, when concealment is no longer possible, that the native taste bursts forth, the
AngloSaxon standing declared in all her plainness. Strong is the contrast here, where they are placed side by
side with all that Europe holds of elegant, and welldressed Frenchwomen, whether of the "world" or the
"halfworld," are invariably marvels of fitness and freshness, the simplest materials being converted by their
skilful touch into toilettes, so artfully adapted to the wearer's figure and complexion, as to raise such
"creations" to the level of a fine art.
An artist feels, he must fix on canvas that particular combination of colors or that wonderful line of bust and
hip. It is with a shudder that he turns to the British matron, for she has probably, for this occasion, draped
herself in an "art material," principally "Liberty" silks of dirty greens and blues (aesthetic shades!). He is
tempted to cry out in his disgust: "Oh, Liberty! Liberty! How many crimes are committed in thy name!" It is
one of the oddest things in the world that the English should have elected to live so much in France, for there
are probably nowhere two peoples so diametrically opposed on every point, or who so persistently and
wilfully misunderstand each other, as the English and the French.
It has been my fate to live a good deal on both sides of the Channel, and nothing is more amusing than to hear
the absurdities that are gravely asserted by each of their neighbors. To a Briton, a Frenchman will always be
"either tiger or monkey" according to Voltaire; while to the French mind English gravity is only hypocrisy to
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 22 An English Invasion of the Riviera 48
Page No 51
cover every vice. Nothing pleases him so much as a great scandal in England; he will gleefully bring you a
paper containing the account of it, to prove how true is his opinion. It is quite useless to explain to the British
mind, as I have often tried to do, that all Frenchmen do not pass their lives drinking absinthe on the
boulevards; and as Englishmen seem to leave their morals in a valise at Dover when off for a visit to Paris, to
be picked up on their return, it is time lost to try to make a Gaul understand what good husbands and fathers
the sons of Albion are.
These two great nations seem to stand in the relation to each other that Rome and Greece held. The English
are the conquerors of the world, and its great colonizers; with a vast capital in which wealth and misery jostle
each other on the streets; a hideous conglomeration of buildings and monuments, without form and void, very
much as old Rome must have been under the Caesars, enormous buildings without taste, and enormous
wealth. The French have inherited the temperament of the Greeks. The drama, painting, and sculpture are the
preoccupation of the people. The yearly exhibitions are, for a month before they open, the unique subject of
conversation in drawingroom or club. The state protects the artist and buys his work. Their
CONSERVATOIRES form the singers, and their schools the painters and architects of Europe and America.
The English copy them in their big way, just as the Romans copied the masterpieces of Greek art, while they
despised the authors. It is rare that a play succeeds in Paris which is not instantly translated and produced in
London, often with the adapter's name printed on the programme in place of the author's, the Frenchman,
who only wrote it, being ignored. Just as the Greeks faded away and disappeared before their Roman
conquerors, it is to be feared that in our day this people of a finer clay will succumb. The "defects of their
qualities" will be their ruin. They will stop at home, occupied with literature and art, perfecting their dainty
cities; while their tougher neighbors are dominating the globe, imposing their language and customs on the
conquered peoples or the earth. One feels this on the Riviera. It reminds you of the cuckoo who, once
installed in a robin's nest, that seems to him convenient and warmly located in the sunshine, ends by kicking
out all the young robins.
CHAPTER 23 A Common Weakness
GOVERNMENTS may change and all the conditions of life be modified, but certain ambitions and needs of
man remain immutable. Climates, customs, centuries, have in no way diminished the craving for
consideration, the desire to be somebody, to bear some mark indicating to the world that one is not as other
men.
For centuries titles supplied the want. This satisfaction has been denied to us, so ambitious souls are obliged
to seek other means to feed their vanity.
Even before we were born into the world of nations, an attempt was made amongst the aristocratically
minded court surrounding our chief magistrate, to form a society that should (without the name) be the
beginning of a class apart.
The order of the Cincinnati was to have been the nucleus of an American nobility. The tendencies of this
society are revealed by the fact that primogeniture was its fundamental law. Nothing could have been more
opposed to the spirit of the age, nor more at variance with the declaration of our independence, than the
insertion of such a clause. This fact was discovered by the far seeing eye of Washington, and the society
was suppressed in the hope (shared by almost all contemporaries) that with new forms of government the
nature of man would undergo a transformation and rise above such puerile ambitions.
Time has shown the fallacy of these dreams. All that has been accomplished is the displacement of the
objective point; the desire, the mania for a handle to one's name is as prevalent as ever. Leave the centres of
civilization and wander in the small towns and villages of our country. Every other man you meet is
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 23 A Common Weakness 49
Page No 52
introduced as the Colonel or the Judge, and you will do well not to inquire too closely into the matter, nor to
ask to see the title deeds to such distinctions. On the other hand, to omit his prefix in addressing one of these
local magnates, would be to offend him deeply. The womenfolk were quick to borrow a little of this
distinction, and in Washington today one is gravely presented to Mrs. Senator Smith or Mrs. Colonel Jones.
The climax being reached by one aspiring female who styles herself on her visiting cards, "Mrs.
ActingAssistantPaymaster Robinson." If by any chance it should occur to any one to ask her motive in
sporting such an unwieldy handle, she would say that she did it "because one can't be going about explaining
that one is not just ordinary Mrs. Robinson or Thompson, like the thousand others in town." A woman who
cannot find an excuse for assuming such a prefix will sometime have recourse to another stratagem, to
particularize an ordinary surname. She remembers that her husband, who ever since he was born has been
known to everybody as Jim, is the proud possessor of the middle name Ivanhoe, or Pericles (probably the
result of a romantic mother's reading); so one fine day the young couple bloom out as Mr. and Mrs. J.
Pericles Sparks, to the amusement of their friends, their own satisfaction, and the hopeless confusion of their
tradespeople.
Not long ago a Westerner, who went abroad with a travelling show, was received with enthusiasm in England
because it was thought "The Honorable" which preceded his name on his cards implied that although an
American he was somehow the son of an earl. As a matter of fact he owed this title to having sat, many years
before in the Senate of a farwestern State. He will cling to that "Honorable" and print it on his cards while
life lasts. I was told the other day of an American carpet warrior who appeared at court function abroad
decorated with every college badge, and football medal in his possession, to which he added at the last
moment a brass trunk check, to complete the brilliancy of the effect. This latter decoration attracted the
attention of the Heir Apparent, who inquired the meaning of the mystic "416" upon it. This would have been
a "facer" to any but a true son of Uncle Sam. Nothing daunted, however, our "General" replied "That, Sir, is
the number of pitched battles I have won."
I have my doubts as to the absolute veracity of this tale. But that the son of one of our generals, appeared not
long ago at a public reception abroad, wearing his father's medals and decorations, is said to be true.
Decorations on the Continent are official badges of distinction conferred and recognized by the different
governments. An American who wears, out of his own country, an army or college badge which has no
official existence, properly speaking, being recognized by no government, but which is made intentionally to
look as much as possible like the "Legion d'Honneur," is deliberately imposing on the ignorance of
foreigners, and is but little less of a pretentious idiot than the owners of the trunk check and the borrowed
decorations.
There seems no end to the ways a little ambitious game can be played. One device much in favor is for the
wife to attach her own family name to that of her husband by means of a hyphen. By this arrangement she
does not entirely lose her individuality; as a result we have a splendid assortment of hybrid names, such as
Van CortlandSmith and BeekmanBrown. Be they never so incongruous these doublebarrelled cognomens
serve their purpose and raise ambitious mortals above the level of other Smiths and Browns. Finding that this
arrangement works well in their own case, it is passed on to the next generation. There are no more Toms and
Bills in these aspiring days. The little boys are all Cadwalladers or Carrolls. Their schoolfellows, however,
work sad havoc with these highsounding titles and quickly abbreviate them into humble "Cad" or "Rol."
It is surprising to notice what a number of middleaged gentlemen have blossomed out of late with
decorations in their buttonholes according to the foreign fashion. On inquiry I have discovered that these
ornaments designate members of the G.A.R., the Loyal Legion, or some local Post, for the rosettes differ in
form and color. When these gentlemen travel abroad, to reduce their waists or improve their minds, the
effects on the hotel waiters and cabmen must be immense. They will be charged three times the ordinary
tariff instead of only the double which is the stranger's usual fate at the hands of simpleminded foreigners.
The satisfaction must be cheap, however, at that price.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 23 A Common Weakness 50
Page No 53
Even our wise men and sages do not seem to have escaped the contagion. One sees professors and clergymen
(who ought to set a better example) trailing half a dozen letters after their names, initials which to the
initiated doubtless mean something, but which are also intended to fill the souls of the ignorant with envy. I
can recall but one case of a foreign decoration being refused by a compatriot. He was a genius and we all
know that geniuses are crazy. This gentleman had done something particularly gratifying to an Eastern
potentate, who in return offered him one of his secondbest orders. It was at once refused. When urged on
him a second time our countryman lost his temper and answered, "If you want to give it to somebody, present
it to my valet. He is most anxious to be decorated." And it was done!
It does not require a deeply meditative mind to discover the motives of ambitious struggles. The first and
strongest illusion of the human mind is to believe that we are different from our fellows, and our natural
impulse is to try and impress this belief upon others.
Pride of birth is but one of the manifestations of the universal weakness invariably taking stronger and
stronger hold of the people, who from the modest dimension of their income, or other untoward
circumstances, can find no outward and visible form with which to dazzle the world. You will find that a
desire to shine is the secret of most of the tips and presents that are given while travelling or visiting, for they
can hardly be attributed to pure spontaneous generosity.
How many people does one meet who talk of their poor and unsuccessful relatives while omitting to mention
rich and powerful connections? We are told that far from blaming such a tendency we are to admire it. That it
is proper pride to put one's best foot forward and keep an offending member well out of sight, that the man
who wears a rosette in the buttonhole of his coat and has half the alphabet galloping after his name, is an
honor to his family.
Far be it from me to deride this weakness in others, for in my heart I am persuaded that if I lived in China,
nothing would please me more than to have my cap adorned with a coral button, while if fate had cast my life
in the pleasant places of central Africa, a ring in my nose would doubtless have filled my soul with joy. The
fact that I share this weakness does not, however, prevent my laughing at such folly in others.
CHAPTER 24 Changing Paris
PARIS is beginning to show signs of the coming "Exhibition of 1900," and is in many ways going through a
curious stage of transformation, socially as well as materially. The PALAIS DE L'INDUSTRIE, familiar to
all visitors here, as the home of the SALONS, the Horse Shows, and a thousand gay FETES and merry
makings, is being torn down to make way for the new avenue leading, with the bridge Alexander III., from
the Champs Elysees to the Esplanade des Invalides. This thoroughfare with the gilded dome of Napoleon's
tomb to close its perspective is intended to be the feature of the coming "show."
Curious irony of things in this world! The PALAIS DE L'INDUSTRIE was intended to be the one permanent
building of the exhibition of 1854. An old "Journal" I often read tells how the writer saw the long line of
gilded coaches (borrowed from Versailles for the occasion), eight horses apiece, led by footmen horses and
men blazing in embroidered trappings leave the Tuileries and proceed at a walk to the great gateway of the
now disappearing palace. Victoria and Albert who were on an official visit to the Emperor were the first to
alight; then Eugenie in the radiance of her perfect beauty stepped from the coach (sad omen!) that fifty years
before had taken Josephine in tears to Malmaison.
It may interest some ladies to know how an Empress was dressed on that spring morning fortyfour years
ago. She wore rosecolored silk with an overdress (I think that is what it is called) of black lace flounces,
immense hoops, and a black CHANTILLY lace shawl. Her hair, a brilliant golden auburn, was dressed low
on the temples, covering the ears, and hung down her back in a gold net almost to her waist; at the extreme
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 24 Changing Paris 51
Page No 54
back of her head was placed a black and rosecolored bonnet; open "flowing" sleeves showed her bare arms,
onebuttoned, strawcolored gloves, and ruby bracelets; she carried a tiny rosecolored parasol not a foot in
diameter.
How England's great sovereign was dressed the writer of the journal does not so well remember, for in those
days Eugenie was the cynosure of all eyes, and people rarely looked at anything else when they could get a
glimpse of her lovely face.
It appears, however, that the Queen sported an India shawl, hoops, and a green bonnet, which was not
particularly becoming to her red face. She and Napoleon entered the building first; the Empress (who was in
delicate health) was carried in an open chair, with Prince Albert walking at her side, a marvellously
handsome couple to follow the two dowdy little sovereigns who preceded them. The writer had by bribery
succeeded in getting places in an ENTRESOL window under the archway, and was greatly impressed to see
those four great ones laughing and joking together over Eugenie's trouble in getting her hoops into the narrow
chair!
What changes have come to that laughing group! Two are dead, one dying in exile and disgrace; and it would
be hard to find in the two rheumatic old ladies whom one sees pottering about the Riviera now, any trace of
those smiling wives. In France it is as if a tidal wave had swept over Napoleon's court. Only the old palace
stood severely back from the Champs Elysees, as if guarding its souvenirs. The pick of the mason has
brought down the proud gateway which its imperial builder fondly imagined was to last for ages. The
Tuileries preceded it into oblivion. The Alpha and Omega of that gorgeous pageant of the fifties vanished like
a mirage!
It is not here alone one finds Paris changing. A railway is being brought along the quais with its depot at the
Invalides. Another is to find its terminus opposite the Louvre, where the picturesque ruin of the Cour des
Comptes has stood halfhidden by the trees since 1870. A line of electric cars crosses the Rond Point, in spite
of the opposition of all the neighborhood, anxious to keep, at least that fine perspective free from such
desecration. And, last but not least, there is every prospect of an immense system of elevated railways being
inaugurated in connection with the coming world's fair. The direction of this kind of improvement is entirely
in the hands of the Municipal Council, and that body has become (here in Paris) extremely radical, not to say
communistic; and takes pleasure in annoying the inhabitants of the richer quarters of the city, under pretext of
improvements and facilities of circulation.
It is easy to see how strong the feeling is against the aristocratic class. Nor is it much to be wondered at! The
aristocracy seem to try to make themselves unpopular. They detest the republic, which has shorn them of
their splendor, and do everything in their power (socially and diplomatically their power is still great) to
interfere with and frustrate the plans of the government. Only last year they seized an opportunity at the
funerals of the Duchesse d'Alencon and the Duc d'Aumale to make a royalist manifestation of the most
pronounced character. The young Duchesse d'Orleans was publicly spoken of and treated as the "Queen of
France;" at the private receptions given during her stay in Paris the same ceremonial was observed as if she
had been really on the throne. The young Duke, her husband, was not present, being in exile as a pretender,
but armorial bearings of the "reigning family," as their followers insist on calling them, were hung around the
Madeleine and on the funeralcars of both the illustrious dead.
The government is singularly lenient to the aristocrats. If a poor man cries "Long live the Commune!" in the
street, he is arrested. The police, however, stood quietly by and let a group of the old nobility shout "Long
live the Queen!" as the train containing the young Duchesse d'Orleans moved out of the station. The secret of
this leniency toward the "pretenders" to the throne, is that they are very little feared. If it amuses a set of
wealthy people to play at holding a court, the strong government of the republic cares not one jot. The
Orleans family have never been popular in France, and the young pretender's marriage to an Austrian
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 24 Changing Paris 52
Page No 55
Archduchess last year has not improved matters.
It is the fashion in the conservative Faubourg St. Germain, to ridicule the President, his wife and their
bourgeois surroundings, as forty years ago the parents of these aristocrats affected to despise the imperial
PARVENUS. The swells amused themselves during the official visit of the Emperor and Empress of Russia
last year (which was gall and wormwood to them) by exaggerating and repeating all the small slips in
etiquette that the President, an intelligent, but simplemannered gentleman, was supposed to have made
during the sojourn of his imperial guests.
Both M. and Mme. Faure are extremely popular with the people, and are heartily cheered whenever they are
seen in public. The President is the despair of the lovers of routine and etiquette, walking in and out of his
Palais of the Elysee, like a private individual, and breaking all rules and regulations. He is fond of riding, and
jogs off to the Bois of a morning with no escort, and often of an evening drops in at the theatres in a casual
way. The other night at the Francais he suddenly appeared in the FOYER DES ARTISTES (A beautiful
greenroom, hung with historical portraits of great actors and actresses, one of the prides of the theatre) in this
informal manner. Mme. Bartet, who happened to be there alone at the time, was so impressed at such an
unprecedented event that she fainted, and the President had to run for water and help revive her. The next day
he sent the great actress a beautiful vase of Sevres china, full of water, in souvenir.
To a lover of old things and old ways any changes in the Paris he has known and loved are a sad trial. Henri
Drumont, in his delightful MON VIEUX PARIS, deplores this modern mania for reform which has done such
good work in the new quarters but should, he thinks, respect the historic streets and shady squares.
One naturally feels that the sights familiar in youth lose by being transformed and doubts the necessity of
such improvements.
The Rome of my childhood is no more! Half of Cairo was ruthlessly transformed in sixtyfive into a hideous
caricature of modern Paris. Milan has been remodelled, each city losing in charm as it gained in convenience.
So far Paris has held her own. The spirit of the city has not been lost, as in the other capitals. The fair
metropolis of France, in spite of many transformations, still holds her admirers with a dominating sway. She
pours out for them a strong elixir that once tasted takes the flavor out of existence in other cities and makes
her adorers, when in exile, thirst for another draught of the subtle nectar.
CHAPTER 25 Contentment
AS the result of certain ideal standards adopted among us when this country was still in long clothes, a time
when the equality of man was the new "fad" of many nations, and the prizes of life first came within the
reach of those fortunate or unscrupulous enough to seize them, it became the fashion (and has remained so
down to our day) to teach every little boy attending a village school to look upon himself as a possible future
President, and to assume that every girl was preparing herself for the position of first lady in the land. This is
very well in theory, and practice has shown that, as Napoleon said, "Every private may carry a marshal's
baton in his knapsack." Alongside of the good such incentive may produce, it is only fair, however, to
consider also how much harm may lie in this way of presenting life to a child's mind.
As a first result of such tall talking we find in America, more than in any other country, an inclination among
all classes to leave the surroundings where they were born and bend their energies to struggling out of the
position in life occupied by their parents. There are not wanting theorists who hold that this is a quality in a
nation, and that it leads to great results. A proposition open to discussion.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 25 Contentment 53
Page No 56
It is doubtless satisfactory to designate first magistrates who have raised themselves from humble beginnings
to that proud position, and there are times when it is proper to recall such achievements to the rising
generation. But as youth is proverbially overconfident it might also be well to point out, without danger of
discouraging our sanguine youngsters, that for one who has succeeded, about ten million confident American
youths, full of ambition and lofty aims, have been obliged to content themselves with being honest men in
humble positions, even as their fathers before them. A sad humiliation, I grant you, for a self respecting
citizen, to end life just where his father did; often the case, nevertheless, in this hard world, where so many
fine qualities go unappreciated, no societies having as yet been formed to seek out "mute, inglorious
Miltons," and ask to crown them!
To descend abruptly from the sublime, to very near the ridiculous, I had need last summer of a boy to go
with a lady on a trap and help about the stable. So I applied to a friend's coachman, a hardworking
Englishman, who was delighted to get the place for his nephew an Americanborn boy the child of a
sister, in great need. As the boy's clothes were hardly presentable, a simple livery was made for him; from
that moment he pined, and finally announced he was going to leave. In answer to my surprised inquiries, I
discovered that a friend of his from the same tenementhouse in which he had lived in New York had
appeared in the village, and sooner than be seen in livery by his playfellow he preferred abandoning his
good place, the chance of being of aid to his mother, and learning an honorable way to earn his living.
Remonstrances were in vain; to the wrath of his uncle, he departed. The boy had, at his school, heard so much
about everybody being born equal and every American being a gentleman by right of inheritance, that he had
taken himself seriously, and despised a position his uncle was proud to hold, preferring elegant leisure in his
native tenementhouse to the humiliation of a livery.
When at college I had rooms in a neat cottage owned by an American family. The father was a butcher, as
were his sons. The only daughter was exceedingly pretty. The hardworked mother conceived high hopes for
this favorite child. She was sent to a boarding school, from which she returned entirely unsettled for life,
having learned little except to be ashamed of her parents and to play on the piano. One of these instruments of
torture was bought, and a room fitted up as a parlor for the daughter's use. As the family were fairly
welltodo, she was allowed to dress out of all keeping with her parents' position, and, egged on by her
mother, tried her best to marry a rich "student." Failing in this, she became discontented, unhappy, and finally
there was a scandal, this poor victim of a false ambition going to swell the vast tide of a city's vice. With a
sensible education, based on the idea that her father's trade was honorable and that her mission in life was to
aid her mother in the daily work until she might marry and go to her husband, prepared by experience to cook
his dinner and keep his house clean, and finally bring up her children to be honest men and women, this girl
would have found a happy future waiting for her, and have been of some good in her humble way.
It is useless to multiply illustrations. One has but to look about him in this unsettled country of ours. The
other day in front of my door the perennial ditch was being dug for some gaspipe or other. Two of the
gentlemen who had consented to do this labor wore frockcoats and top hats or what had once been those
articles of attire instead of comfortable and appropriate overalls. Why? Because, like the stableboy, to
have worn any distinctive dress would have been in their minds to stamp themselves as belonging to an
inferior class, and so interfered with their chances of representing this country later at the Court of St. James,
or presiding over the Senate, positions (to judge by their criticism of the present incumbents) they feel no
doubt as to their ability to fill.
The same spirit pervades every trade. The youth who shaves me is not a barber; he has only accepted this
position until he has time to do something better. The waiter who brings me my chop at a downtown
restaurant would resign his place if he were requested to shave his flowing mustache, and is secretly studying
law. I lose all patience with my countrymen as I think over it! Surely we are not such a race of snobs as not to
recognize that a good barber is more to be respected than a poor lawyer; that, as a French saying goes, IL N'Y
A PAS DE SOT METIER. It is only the fool who is ashamed of his trade.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 25 Contentment 54
Page No 57
But enough of preaching. I had intended when I took up my pen today to write on quite another form of
this modern folly, this eternal struggle upward into circles for which the struggler is fitted neither by his birth
nor his education; the above was to have been but a preface to the matter I had in mind, viz., "social
climbers," those scourges of modern society, the people whom no rebuffs will discourage and no cold
shoulder chill, whose efforts have done so much to make our countrymen a byword abroad.
As many philosophers teach that trouble only is positive, happiness being merely relative; that in any case
trouble is pretty equally distributed among the different conditions of mankind; that, excepting the destitute
and physically afflicted, all God's creatures have a share of joy in their lives, would it not be more logical, as
well as more conducive to the general good, if a little more were done to make the young contented with their
lot in life, instead of constantly suggesting to a race already prone to be unsettled, that nothing short of the
top is worthy of an American citizen?
CHAPTER 26 The Climber
THAT form of misplaced ambition, which is the subject of the preceding chapter, can only be regarded
seriously when it occurs among simple and sincere people, who, however derided, honestly believe that they
are doing their duty to themselves and their families when they move heaven and earth to rise a few steps in
the world. The moment we find ambition taking a purely social form, it becomes ridiculous. The aim is so
paltry in comparison with the effort, and so out of proportion with the energyexerted to attain it, that one
can only laugh and wonder! Unfortunately, signs of this puerile spirit (peculiar to the last quarter of the
nineteenth century) can be seen on all hands and in almost every society.
That any man or woman should make it the unique aim and object of existence to get into a certain "set," not
from any hope of profit or benefit, nor from the belief that it is composed of brilliant and amusing people, but
simply because it passes for being exclusive and difficult of access, does at first seem incredible.
That humble young painters or singers should long to know personally the great lights of their professions,
and should strive to be accepted among them is easily understood, since the aspirants can reap but benefit,
present and future, from such companionship. That a rising politician should deem it allimportant to be on
friendly terms with the "bosses" is not astonishing, for those magnates have it in their power to make or mar
his fortune. But in a MILIEU as fluctuating as any social circle must necessarily be, shading off on all sides
and changing as constantly as light on water, the end can never be considered as achieved or the goal
attained.
Neither does any particular result accompany success, more substantial than the moral one which lies in
selfcongratulation. That, however, is enough for a climber if she is bitten with the "ascending" madness. (I
say "she," because this form of ambition is more frequent among women, although by no means unknown to
the sterner sex.)
It amuses me vastly to sit in my corner and watch one of these FIN DESIECLE diplomatists work out her
little problem. She generally comes plunging into our city from outside, hot for conquest, making
acquaintances right and left, indiscriminately; thus falling an easy prey to the wolves that prowl around the
edges of society, waiting for just such lambs to devour. Her first entertainments are worth attending for she
has ingeniously contrived to get together all the people she should have left out, and failed to attract the social
lights and powers of the moment. If she be a quickwitted lady, she soon sees the error of her ways and
begins a process of "weeding" as difficult as it is unwise, each rejected "weed" instantly becoming an
enemy for life, not to speak of the risk she, in her ignorance, runs of mistaking for "detrimentals" the FINES
FLEURS of the worldly parterre. Ah! the way of the Climber is hard; she now begins to see that her path is
not strewn with flowers.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 26 The Climber 55
Page No 58
One tactful person of this kind, whose gradual "unfolding" was watched with much amusement and wonder
by her acquaintances, avoided all these errors by going in early for a "dear friend." Having, after mature
reflection, chosen her guide among the most exclusive of the young matrons, she proceeded quietly to pay her
court EN REGLE. Flattering little notes, boxes of candy, and bunches of flowers were among the forms her
devotion took. As a natural result, these two ladies became inseparable, and the most hermetically sealed
doors opened before the new arrival.
A talent for music or acting is another aid. A few years ago an entire family were floated into the desired
haven on the waves of the sister's voice, and one young couple achieved success by the husband's aptitude for
games and sports. In the latter case it was the man of the family who did the work, dragging his wife up after
him. A polo pony is hardly one's idea of a battlehorse, but in this case it bore its rider on to success.
Once climbers have succeeded in installing themselves in the stronghold of their ambitions, they become
more exclusive than their new friends ever dreamed of being, and it tries one's self restraint to hear these
new arrivals deploring "the levelling tendencies of the age," or wondering "how nice people can be beginning
to call on those horrid SoandSos. Their father sold shoes, you know." This ultraexclusiveness is not to be
wondered at. The only attraction the circle they have just entered has for the climbers is its exclusiveness, and
they do not intend that it shall lose its market value in their hands. Like Baudelaire, they believe that "it is
only the small number saved that makes the charm of Paradise." Having spent hard cash in this investment,
they have every intention of getting their money's worth.
In order to give outsiders a vivid impression of the footing on which they stand with the great of the world,
all the women they have just met become Nellys and Jennys, and all the men Dicks and Freds behind their
backs, BIEN ENTENDU for Mrs. "Newcome" has not yet reached that point of intimacy which warrants
using such abbreviations directly to the owners.
Another amiable weakness common to the climber is that of knowing everybody. No name can be mentioned
at home or abroad but Parvenu happens to be on the most intimate terms with the owner, and when he is
conversing, great names drop out of his mouth as plentifully as did the pearls from the pretty lips of the girl in
the fairy story. All the world knows how such a gentleman, being asked on his return from the East if he had
seen "the Dardanelles," answered, "Oh, dear, yes! I dined with them several times!" thus settling satisfactorily
his standing in the Orient!
Climbing, like every other habit, soon takes possession of the whole nature. To abstain from it is torture.
Napoleon, we are told, found it impossible to rest contented on his successes, but was impelled onward by a
force stronger than his volition. In some such spirit the ambitious souls here referred to, after "the Conquest
of America" and the discovery that the fruit of their struggles was not worth very much, victory having
brought the inevitable satiety in its wake, sail away in search of new fields of adventure. They have long ago
left behind the friends and acquaintances of their childhood. Relations they apparently have none, which
accounts for the curious phenomenon that a parvenu is never in mourning. As no friendships bind them to
their new circle, the ties are easily loosened. Why should they care for one city more than for another, unless
it offer more of the sport they love? This continent has become tame, since there is no longer any struggle,
while over the sea vast hunting grounds and game worthy of their powder, form an irresistible temptation
old and exclusive societies to be besieged, and contests to be waged compared to which their American
experiences are but light skirmishes. As the polo pony is supposed to pant for the fray, so the hearts of social
conquerors warm within them at the prospect of more brilliant victories.
The pleasure of following them on their hunting parties abroad will have to be deferred, so vast is the subject,
so full of thrilling adventure and, alas! also of humiliating defeat.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 26 The Climber 56
Page No 59
CHAPTER 27 The Last of the Dandies
SO completely has the dandy disappeared from among us, that even the word has an oldtime look (as if it
had strayed out of some halfforgotten novel or "keepsake"), raising in our minds the picture of a slender,
cleanshaven youth, in very tight unmentionables strapped under his feet, a dark green frockcoat with a
collar up to the ears and a stock whose folds cover his chest, buttercolored gloves, and a hat oh! a hat that
would collect a crowd in two minutes in any neighborhood! A goldheaded stick, and a quizzing glass, with a
black ribbon an inch wide, complete the toilet. In such a rig did the swells of the last generation stroll down
Pall Mall or drive their tilburys in the Bois.
The recent illness of the Prince de Sagan has made a strange and sad impression in many circles in Paris, for
he has always been a favorite, and is the last surviving type of a now extinct species. He is the last Dandy! No
understudy will be found to fill his role the dude and the swell are whole generations away from the dandy,
of which they are but feeble reflections the comedy will have to be continued now, without its leading
gentleman. With his head of silvery hair, his eyeglass and his wonderful waistcoats, he held the first place in
the "high life" of the French capital.
No first night or ball was complete without him, Sagan. The very mention of his name in their articles must
have kept the wolf from the door of needy reporters. No DEBUTANTE, social or theatrical, felt sure of her
success until it had received the hallmark of his approval. When he assisted at a dress rehearsal, the actors
and the managers paid him more attention than Sarcey or Sardou, for he was known to be the real arbiter of
their fate. His word was law, the world bowed before it as before the will of an autocrat. Mature matrons
received his dictates with the same reverence that the Old Guard evinced for Napoleon's orders. Had he not
led them on to victory in their youth?
On the boulevards or at a racecourse, he was the one person always known by sight and pointed out. "There
goes Sagan!" He had become an institution. One does not know exactly how or why he achieved the position,
which made him the most followed, flattered, and copied man of his day. It certainly was unique!
The Prince of Sagan is descended from Maurice de Saxe (the natural son of the King of Saxony and Aurora
of Koenigsmark), who in his day shone brilliantly at the French court and was so madly loved by Adrienne
Lecouvreur. From his great ancestor, Sagan inherited the title of Grand Duke Of Courland (the estates have
been absorbed into a neighboring empire). Nevertheless, he is still an R.H., and when crowned heads visit
Paris they dine with him and receive him on a footing of equality. He married a great fortune, and the
daughter of the banker Selliere. Their house on the Esplanade des Invalides has been for years the centre of
aristocratic life in Paris; not the most exclusive circle, but certainly the gayest of this gay capital, and from
the days of Louis Philippe he has given the keynote to the fast set.
Oddly enough, he has always been a great favorite with the lower classes (a popularity shared by all the
famous dandies of history). The people appear to find in them the personification of all aspirations toward the
elegant and the ideal. Alcibiades, Buckingham, the Duc de Richelieu, Lord Seymour, Comte d'Orsay,
Brummel, GrammontCaderousse, shared this favor, and have remained legendary characters, to whom their
disdain for everything vulgar, their worship of their own persons, and many costly follies gave an ephemeral
empire. Their power was the more arbitrary and despotic in that it was only nominal and undefined, allowing
them to rule over the fashions, the tastes, and the pastimes of their contemporaries with undivided sway,
making them envied, obeyed, loved, but rarely overthrown.
It has been asserted by some writers that dandies are necessary and useful to a nation (Thackeray admired
them and pointed out that they have a most difficult and delicate role to play, hence their rarity), and that
these butterflies, as one finds them in the novels of that day, the de Marsys, the Pelhams, the Maxime de
Trailles, are indispensable to the perfection of society. It is a great misfortune to a country to have no dandies,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 27 The Last of the Dandies 57
Page No 60
those supreme virtuosos of taste and distinction. Germany, which glories in Mozart and Kant, Goethe and
Humboldt, the country of deep thinkers and brave soldiers, never had a great dandy, and so has remained
behind England or France in all that constitutes the graceful side of life, the refinements of social intercourse,
and the art of living. France will perceive too late, after he has disappeared, the loss she has sustained when
this Prince, Grand Seigneur, has ceased to embellish by his presence her racecourses and "first nights." A
reputation like his cannot be improvised in a moment, and he has no pupils.
Never did the aristocracy of a country stand in greater need of such a representation, than in these days of
tramcars and "fixed price" restaurants. An entire "art" dies with him. It has been whispered that he has not
entirely justified his reputation, that the accounts of his exploits as a HAUT VIVEUR have gained in the
telling. Nevertheless he dominated an epoch, rising above the tumultuous and levelling society of his day, a
tardy Don Quixote, of the knighthood of pleasures, FETES, loves and prodigalities, which are no longer of
our time. His great name, his grand manner, his elderly graces, his serene carelessness, made him a being by
himself. No one will succeed this master of departed elegances. If he does not recover from his attack, if the
paralysis does not leave that poor brain, worn out with doing nothing, we can honestly say that he is the last
of his kind.
An original and independent thinker has asserted that civilizations, societies, empires, and republics go down
to posterity typified for the admiration of mankind, each under the form of some hero. Emerson would have
given a place in his Pantheon to Sagan. For it is he who sustained the traditions and became the type of that
distinguished and frivolous society, which judged that serious things were of no importance, enthusiasm a
waste of time, literature a bore; that nothing was interesting and worthy of occupying their attention except
the elegant distractions that helped to pass their daysand nights! He had the merit (?) in these days of the
practical and the commonplace, of preserving in his gracious person all the charming uselessness of a courtier
in a country where there was no longer a court.
What a strange sight it would be if this departing dandy could, before he leaves for ever the theatre of so
many triumphs, take his place at some street corner, and review the shades of the companions his long life
had thrown him with, the endless procession of departed belles and beaux, who, in their youth, had, under his
rule, helped to dictate the fashions and lead the sports of a world.
CHAPTER 28 A Nation on the Wing
ON being taken the other day through a large and costly residence, with the thoroughness that only the owner
of a new house has the cruelty to inflict on his victims, not allowing them to pass a closet or an electric bell
without having its particular use and convenience explained, forcing them to look up coalslides, and down
airshafts and to visit every secret place, from the cellar to the fireescape, I noticed that a peculiar
arrangement of the rooms repeated itself on each floor, and several times on a floor. I remarked it to my host.
"You observe it," he said, with a blush of pride, "it is my wife's idea! The truth is, my daughters are of a
marrying age, and my sons starting out for themselves; this house will soon be much too big for two old
people to live in alone. We have planned it so that at any time it can be changed into an apartment house at a
nominal expense. It is even wired and plumbed with that end in view!"
This answer positively took my breath away. I looked at my host in amazement. It was hard to believe that a
man past middle age, who after years of hardest toil could afford to put half a million into a house for himself
and his children, and store it with beautiful things, would have the courage to look so far into the future as to
see all his work undone, his home turned to another use and himself and his wife afloat in the world without a
roof over their wealthy old heads.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 28 A Nation on the Wing 58
Page No 61
Surely this was the Spirit of the Age in its purest expression, the more strikingly so that he seemed to feel
pride rather than anything else in his ingenious combination.
He liked the city he had built in well enough now, but nothing proved to him that he would like it later. He
and his wife had lived in twenty cities since they began their brave fight with Fortune, far away in a little
Eastern town. They had since changed their abode with each ascending rung of the ladder of success, and
beyond a faded daguerreotype or two of their children and a few modest pieces of jewelry, stored away in
cotton, it is doubtful if they owned a single object belonging to their early life.
Another case occurs to me. Near the village where I pass my summers, there lived an elderly, childless couple
on a splendid estate combining everything a fastidious taste could demand. One fine morning this place was
sold, the important library divided between the village and their native city, the furniture sold or given away,
everything went; at the end the things no one wanted were made into a bonfire and burned.
A neighbor asking why all this was being done was told by the lady, "We were tired of it all and have decided
to be 'Bohemians' for the rest of our lives." This couple are now wandering about Europe and half a dozen
trunks contain their belongings.
These are, of course, extreme cases and must be taken for what they are worth; nevertheless they are straws
showing which way the wind blows, signs of the times that he who runs may read. I do not run, but I often
saunter up our principal avenue, and always find myself wondering what will be the future of the splendid
residences that grace that thoroughfare as it nears the Park; the ascending tide of trade is already circling
round them and each year sees one or more crumble away and disappear.
The finer buildings may remain, turned into clubs or restaurants, but the greater part of the newer ones are so
illadapted to any other use than that for which they are built that their future seems obscure.
That fashion will flit away from its present haunts there can be little doubt; the city below the Park is sure to
be given up to business, and even the fine frontage on that green space will sooner or later be occupied by
hotels, if not stores; and he who builds with any belief in the permanency of his surroundings must indeed be
of a hopeful disposition.
A good lady occupying a delightful corner on this same avenue, opposite a onestory florist's shop, said:
"I shall remain here until they build across the way; then I suppose I shall have to move."
So after all the man who is contented to live in a future apartment house, may not be so very far wrong.
A case of the opposite kind is that of a great millionaire, who, dying, left his house and its collections to his
eldest son and his grandson after him, on the condition that they should continue to live in it.
Here was an attempt to keep together a home with its memories and associations. What has been the result?
The street that was a charming centre for residences twenty years ago has become a "slum;" the unfortunate
heirs find themselves with a house on their hands that they cannot live in and are forbidden to rent or sell. As
a final result the will must in all probability be broken and the matter ended.
Of course the reason for a great deal of this is the phenomenal growth of our larger cities. Hundreds of
families who would gladly remain in their old homes are fairly pushed out of them by the growth of business.
Everything has its limits and a time must come when our cities will cease to expand or when centres will be
formed as in London or Paris, where generations may succeed each other in the same homes. So far, I see no
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 28 A Nation on the Wing 59
Page No 62
indications of any such crystallization in this our big city; we seem to be condemned like the "Wandering
Jew" or poor little "Joe" to be perpetually "moving on."
At a dinner of young people not long ago a Frenchman visiting our country, expressed his surprise on hearing
a girl speak of "not remembering the house she was born in." Piqued by his manner the young lady answered:
"We are twentyfour at this table. I do not believe there is one person here living in the house in which he or
she was born." This assertion raised a murmur of dissent around the table; on a census being taken it proved,
however, to be true.
How can one expect, under circumstances like these, to find any great respect among young people for home
life or the conservative side of existence? They are born as it were on the wing, and on the wing will they
live.
The conditions of life in this country, although contributing largely to such a state of affairs, must not be held,
however, entirely responsible. Underlying our civilization and culture, there is still strong in us a wild
nomadic strain inherited from a thousand generations of wandering ancestors, which breaks out so soon as
man is freed from the restraint incumbent on breadwinning for his family. The moment there is wealth or
even a modest income insured, comes the inclination to cut loose from the dull routine of business and duty,
returning instinctively to the migratory habits of primitive man.
We are not the only nation that has given itself up to globe trotting; it is strong in the English, in spite of
their conservative education, and it is surprising to see the number of formerly stayathome French and
Germans one meets wandering in foreign lands.
In 1855, a Londoner advertised the plan he had conceived of taking some people over to visit the
International Exhibition in Paris. For a fixed sum paid in advance he offered to provide everything and act as
courier to the party, and succeeded with the greatest difficulty in getting together ten people. From this
modest beginning has grown the vast undertaking that today covers the globe with tourists, from the frozen
seas where they "do" the midnight sun, to the deserts three thousand miles up the Nile.
As I was returning a couple of years ago VIA Vienna from Constantinople, the train was filled with a party of
our compatriots conducted by an agency of this kind simple people of small means who, twenty years ago,
would as soon have thought of leaving their homes for a trip in the East as they would of starting off in
balloons en route for the interstellar spaces.
I doubted at the time as to the amount of information and appreciation they brought to bear on their travels, so
I took occasion to draw one of the thin, unsmiling women into conversation, asking her where they intended
stopping next.
"At BudaPesth," she answered. I said in some amusement:
"But that was BudaPesth we visited so carefully yesterday."
"Oh, was it," she replied, without any visible change on her face, "I thought we had not got there yet."
Apparently it was enough for her to be travelling; the rest was of little importance. Later in the day, when
asked if she had visited a certain old city in Germany, she told me she had but would never go there again:
"They gave us such poor coffee at the hotel." Again later in speaking to her husband, who seemed a trifle
vague as to whether he had seen Nuremberg or not, she said:
"Why, you remember it very well; it was there you bought those nice overshoes!"
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 28 A Nation on the Wing 60
Page No 63
All of which left me with some doubts in my mind as to the cultivating influences of foreign travel on their
minds.
You cannot change a leopard's spots, neither can you alter the nature of a race, and one of the strongest
characteristics of the AngloSaxon, is the nomadic instinct. How often one hears people say:
"I am not going to sit at home and take care of my furniture. I want to see something of the world before I am
too old." Lately, a sprightly maiden of uncertain years, just returned from a long trip abroad, was asked if she
intended now to settle down.
"Settle down, indeed! I'm a butterfly and I never expect to settle down."
There is certainly food here for reflection. Why should we be more inclined to wander than our neighbors?
Perhaps it is in a measure due to our nervous, restless temperament, which is itself the result of our climate;
but whatever the cause is, inability to remain long in one place is having a most unfortunate influence on our
social life. When everyone is on the move or longing to be, it becomes difficult to form any but the most
superficial ties; strong friendships become impossible, the most intimate family relations are loosened.
If one were of a speculative frame of mind and chose to take as the basis for a calculation the increase in
tourists between 1855, when the ten pioneers started for Paris, and the number "personally conducted" over
land and sea today, and then glance forward at what the future will be if this ratio of increase is maintained
the result would be something too awful for words. For if ten have become a million in forty years, what will
be the total in 1955? Nothing less than entire nations given over to sightseeing, passing their lives and
incomes in rushing aimlessly about.
If the facilities of communication increase as they undoubtedly will with the demand, the prospect becomes
nearer the idea of a "Walpurgis Night" than anything else. For the earth and the sea will be covered and the
air filled with every form of whirling, flying, plunging device to get men quickly from one place to another.
Every human being on the globe will be flying South for the cold months and North for the hot season.
As personally conducted tours have been so satisfactory, agencies will be started to lead us through all the
stages of existence. Parents will subscribe on the birth of their children to have them personally conducted
through life and everything explained as it is done at present in the galleries abroad; food, lodging and
reading matter, husbands and wives will be provided by contract, to be taken back and changed if
unsatisfactory, as the big stores do with their goods. Delightful prospect! Homes will become superfluous,
parents and children will only meet when their "tours" happen to cross each other. Our greatgrandchildren
will float through life freed from every responsibility and more perfectly independent than even that
delightful dreamer, Bellamy, ventured to predict.
CHAPTER 29 Husks
AMONG the Protestants driven from France by that astute and liberalminded sovereign Louis XIV., were a
colony of weavers, who as all the world knows, settled at Spitalfields in England, where their descendants
weave silk to this day.
On their arrival in Great Britain, before the looms could be set up and a market found for their industry, the
exiles were reduced to the last extremity of destitution and hunger. Looking about them for anything that
could be utilized for food, they discovered that the owners of English slaughterhouses threw away as
worthless, the tails of the cattle they killed. Like all the poor in France, these wanderers were excellent cooks,
and knew that at home such caudal appendages were highly valued for the tenderness and flavor of the meat.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 29 Husks 61
Page No 64
To the amazement and disgust of the English villagers the new arrivals proceeded to collect this "refuse" and
carry it home for food. As the first principle of French culinary art is the POTAUFEU, the tails were
mostly converted into soup, on which the exiles thrived and feasted.
Their neighbors, envious at seeing the despised French indulging daily in savory dishes, unknown to English
palates, and tempted like "Jack's" giant by the smell of "fresh meat," began to inquire into the matter, and
slowly realized how, in their ignorance, they had been throwing away succulent and delicate food. The news
of this discovery gradually spreading through all classes, "oxtail" became and has remained the national
English soup.
If this veracious tale could be twisted into a metaphor, it would serve marvellously to illustrate the position of
the entire Anglo Saxon race, and especially that of their American descendants as regards the Latin peoples.
For foolish prodigality and reckless, ignorant extravagance, however, we leave our English cousins far
behind.
Two American hotels come to my mind, as different in their appearance and management as they are
geographically asunder. Both are types and illustrations of the wilful waste that has recently excited Mr. Ian
Maclaren's comment, and the woeful want (of good food) that is the result. At one, a dreary shingle
construction on a treeless island, off our New England coast, where the ideas of the landlord and his guests
have remained as unchanged and primitive as the island itself, I found on inquiry that all articles of food
coming from the first table were thrown into the sea; and I have myself seen chickens hardly touched, rounds
of beef, trays of vegetables, and every variety of cake and dessert tossed to the fish.
While we were having soups so thin and tasteless that they would have made a French housewife blush, the
ingredients essential to an excellent "stock" were cast aside. The boarders were paying five dollars a day and
appeared contented, the place was packed, the landlord coining money, so it was foolish to expect any
improvement.
The other hotel, a vast caravansary in the South, where a fortune had been lavished in providing every
modern convenience and luxury, was the "fad" of its wealthy owner. I had many talks with the manager
during my stay, and came to realize that most of the wastefulness I saw around me was not his fault, but that
of the public, to whose taste he was obliged to cater. At dinner, after receiving your order, the waiter would
disappear for half an hour, and then bring your entire meal on one tray, the overcooked meats stranded in
lakes of coagulated gravy, the entrees cold and the ices warm. He had generally forgotten two or three
essentials, but to send back for them meant to wait another halfhour, as his other clients were clamoring to
be served. So you ate what was before you in sulky disgust, and got out of the room as quickly as possible.
After one of these gastronomic races, being hungry, flustered, and suffering from indigestion, I asked mine
host if it had never occurred to him to serve a TABLE D'HOTE dinner (in courses) as is done abroad, where
hundreds of people dine at the same moment, each dish being offered them in turn accompanied by its
accessories.
"Of course, I have thought of it," he answered. "It would be the greatest improvement that could be
introduced into American hotel keeping. No one knows better than I do how disastrous the present system is
to all parties. Take as an example of the present way, the dinner I am going to give you tomorrow, in honor
of Christmas. Glance over this MENU. You will see that it enumerates every costly and delicate article of
food possible to procure and a long list of other dishes, the greater part of which will not even be called for.
As no number of CHEFS could possibly oversee the proper preparation of such a variety of meats and sauces,
all will be carelessly cooked, and as you know by experience, poorly served.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 29 Husks 62
Page No 65
"People who exact useless variety," he added, "are sure in some way to be the sufferers; in their anxiety to try
everything, they will get nothing worth eating. Yet that meal will cost me considerably more than my guests
pay for their twentyfour hours' board and lodging."
"Why do it, you ask? Because it is the custom, and because it will be an advertisement. These bills of fare
will be sown broadcast over the country in letters to friends and kept as souvenirs. If, instead of all this
senseless superfluity, I were allowed to give a TABLE D'HOTE meal tomorrow, with the CHEF I have, I
could provide an exquisite dinner, perfect in every detail, served at little tables as deftly and silently as in a
private house. I could also discharge half of my waiters, and charge two dollars a day instead of five dollars,
and the hotel would become (what it has never been yet) a paying investment, so great would he the saving."
"Only this morning," he continued, warming to his subject, "while standing in the dining room, I saw a young
man order and then send away half the dishes on the MENU. A chicken was broiled for him and rejected; a
steak and an omelette fared no better. How much do you suppose a hotel gains from a guest like that?"
"The reason Americans put up with such poor viands in hotels is, that home cooking in this country is so
rudimentary, consisting principally of fried dishes, and hot breads. So little is known about the proper
preparation of food that tomorrow's dinner will appear to many as the NE PLUS ULTRA of delicate living.
One of the charms of a hotel for people who live poorly at home, lies in this power to order expensive dishes
they rarely or never see on their own tables."
"To be served with a quantity of food that he has but little desire to eat is one of an American citizen's dearest
privileges, and a right he will most unwillingly relinquish. He may know as well as you and I do, that what he
calls for will not be worth eating; that is of secondary importance, he has it before him, and is contented."
"The hotel that attempted limiting the liberty of its guests to the extent of serving them a TABLE D'HOTE
dinner, would be emptied in a week."
"A crowning incongruity, as most people are delighted to dine with friends, or at public functions, where the
meal is invariably served A LA RUSSE (another name for a TABLE D'HOTE), and on these occasions are
only too glad to have their MENU chosen for them. The present way, however, is a remnant of 'old times' and
the average American, with all his love of change and novelty, is very conservative when it comes to his
table."
What this manager did not confide to me, but what I discovered later for myself, was that to facilitate the
service, and avoid confusion in the kitchens, it had become the custom at all the large and most of the small
hotels in this country, to carve the joints, cut up the game, and portion out vegetables, an hour or two before
meal time. The food, thus arranged, is placed in vast steam closets, where it simmers gayly for hours, in its
own, and fifty other vapors.
Any one who knows the rudiments of cookery, will recognize that with this system no viand can have any
particular flavor, the partridges having a taste of their neighbor the roast beef, which in turn suggests the
plum pudding it has been "chumming" with.
It is not alone in a hotel that we miss the good in grasping after the better. Small housekeeping is apparently
run on the same lines.
A young Frenchman, who was working in my rooms, told me in reply to a question regarding prices, that
every kind of food was cheaper here than abroad, but the prejudice against certain dishes was so strong in this
country that many of the best things in the markets were never called for. Our nation is no longer in its
"teens" and should cease to act like a foolish boy who has inherited (what appears to him) a limitless fortune;
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 29 Husks 63
Page No 66
not for fear of his coming, like his prototype in the parable, to live on "husks" for he is doing that already, but
lest like the dog of the fable, in grasping after the shadow of a banquet he miss the simple meal that is within
his reach.
One of the reasons for this deplorable state of affairs lies in the foolish education our girls receive. They learn
so little housekeeping at home, that when married they are obliged to begin all over again, unless they prefer,
like a majority of their friends, to let things as go at the will and discretion of the "lady" below stairs.
At both hotels I have referred to, the families of the men interested considered it beneath them to know what
was taking place. The "daughter" of the New England house went semiweekly to Boston to take violin
lessons at ten dollars each, although she had no intention of becoming a professional, while the wife wrote
poetry and ignored the hotel side of her life entirely.
The "better half" of the Florida establishment hired a palace in Rome and entertained ambassadors. Hotels
divided against themselves are apt to be establishments where you pay for riotous living and are served only
with husks.
We have many hard lessons ahead of us, and one of the hardest will be for our nation to learn humbly from
the thrifty emigrants on our shores, the great art of utilizing the "tails" that are at this moment being so
recklessly thrown away.
As it is, in spite of markets overflowing with every fish, vegetable, and tempting viand, we continue to be the
worst fed, most meagrely nourished of all the wealthy nations on the face of the earth. We have a saying (for
an excellent reason unknown on the Continent) that Providence provides us with food and the devil sends the
cooks! It would be truer to say that the poorer the food resources of a nation, the more restricted the choice of
material, the better the cooks; a small latitude when providing for the table forcing them to a hundred clever
combinations and mysterious devices to vary the monotony of their cuisine and tempt a palate, by custom
staled.
Our heedless people, with great variety at their disposition, are unequal to the situation, wasting and
discarding the best, and making absolutely nothing of their advantages.
If we were enjoying our prodigality by living on the fat of the land, there would be less reason to reproach
ourselves, for every one has a right to live as he pleases. But as it is, our foolish prodigals are spending their
substance, while eating the husks!
CHAPTER 30 The Faubourg of St. Germain
THERE has been too much said and written in the last dozen years about breaking down the "great wall"
behind which the aristocrats of the famous Faubourg, like the Celestials, their prototypes, have ensconced
themselves. The Chinese speak of outsiders as "barbarians." The French ladies refer to such unfortunates as
being "beyond the pale." Almost all that has been written is arrant nonsense; that imaginary barrier exists
today on as firm a foundation, and is guarded by sentinels as vigilant as when, forty years ago, Napoleon
(third of the name) and his Spanish spouse mounted to its assault.
Their repulse was a bitter humiliation to the PARVENUE Empress, whose resentment took the form (along
with many other curious results) of opening the present Boulevard St. Germain, its line being intentionally
carried through the heart of that quarter, teeming with historic "Hotels" of the old aristocracy, where beautiful
constructions were mercilessly torn down to make way for the new avenue. The cajoleries which Eugenie
first tried and the blows that followed were alike unavailing. Even her worship of Marie Antoinette, between
whom and herself she found imaginary resemblances, failed to warm the stony hearts of the proud old ladies,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 30 The Faubourg of St. Germain 64
Page No 67
to whom it was as gall and wormwood to see a nobody crowned in the palace of their kings. Like religious
communities, persecution only drew this old society more firmly together and made them stand by each other
in their distress. When the Bois was remodelled by Napoleon and the lake with its winding drive laid out, the
new Court drove of an afternoon along this water front. That was enough for the old swells! They retired to
the remote "Allee of the Acacias," and solemnly took their airing away from the bustle of the new world,
incidentally setting a fashion that has held good to this day; the lakeside being now deserted, and the
"Acacias" crowded of an afternoon, by all that Paris holds of elegant and inelegant.
Where the brilliant Second Empire failed, the Republic had little chance of success. With each succeeding
year the "Old Faubourg" withdrew more and more into its shell, going so far, after the fall of Mac Mahon, as
to change its "season" to the spring, so that the balls and FETES it gave should not coincide with the
"official" entertainments during the winter.
The next people to have a "shy" at the "Old Faubourg's" Gothic battlements were the Jews, who were
victorious in a few light skirmishes and succeeded in capturing one or two illustrious husbands for their
daughters. The wily Israelites, however, discovered that titled sonsinlaw were expensive articles and often
turned out unsatisfactorily, so they quickly desisted. The English, the most practical of societies, have always
left the Faubourg alone. It has been reserved for our countrywomen to lay the most determined siege yet
recorded to that untaken stronghold.
It is a characteristic of the American temperament to be unable to see a closed door without developing an
intense curiosity to know what is behind; or to read "No Admittance to the Public" over an entrance without
immediately determining to get inside at any price. So it is easy to understand the attraction an hermetically
sealed society would have for our fair compatriots. Year after year they have flung themselves against its
closed gateways. Repulsed, they have retired only to form again for the attack, but are as far away today
from planting their flag in that citadel as when they first began. It does not matter to them what is inside;
there may be (as in this case) only mouldy old halls and a group of people with antiquated ideas and ways. It
is enough for a certain type of woman to know that she is not wanted in an exclusive circle, to be ready to die
in the attempt to get there. This point of view reminds one of Mrs. Snob's saying about a new arrival at a
hotel: "I am sure she must be 'somebody' for she was so rude to me when I spoke to her;" and her answer to
her daughter when the girl said (on arriving at a wateringplace) that she had noticed a very nice family "who
look as if they wanted to know us, Mamma:"
"Then, my dear," replied Mamma Snob, "they certainly are not people we want to meet!"
The men in French society are willing enough to make acquaintance with foreigners. You may see the youth
of the Faubourg dancing at American balls in Paris, or running over for occasional visits to this country. But
when it comes to taking their womenkind with them, it is a different matter. Americans who have known
wellborn Frenchmen at school or college are surprised, on meeting them later, to be asked (cordially
enough) to dine EN GARCON at a restaurant, although their Parisian friend is married. An Englishman's or
American's first word would be on a like occasion:
"Come and dine with me tonight. I want to introduce you to my wife." Such an idea would never cross a
Frenchman's mind!
One American I know is a striking example of this. He was born in Paris, went to school and college there,
and has lived in that city all his life. His sister married a French nobleman. Yet at this moment, in spite of his
wealth, his charming American wife, and many beautiful entertainments, he has not one warm French friend,
or the ENTREE on a footing of intimacy to a single Gallic house.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 30 The Faubourg of St. Germain 65
Page No 68
There is no analogy between the English aristocracy and the French nobility, except that they are both
antiquated institutions; the English is the more harmful on account of its legislative power, the French is the
more pretentious. The House of Lords is the most open club in London, the payment of an entrancefee in
the shape of a check to a party fund being an allsufficient sesame. In France, one must be born in the magic
circle. The spirit of the Emigration of 1793 is not yet extinct. The nobles live in their own world (how
expressive the word is, seeming to exclude all the rest of mankind), pining after an impossible
RESTAURATION, alien to the present day, holding aloof from politics for fear of coming in touch with the
masses, with whom they pride themselves on having nothing in common.
What leads many people astray on this subject is that there has formed around this ancient society a circle
composed of rich "outsiders," who have married into good families; and of eccentric members of the latter,
who from a love of excitement or for interested motives have broken away from their traditions. Newly
arrived Americans are apt to mistake this "world" for the real thing. Into this circle it is not difficult for
foreigners who are rich and anxious to see something of life to gain admission. To be received by the ladies
of this outer circle, seems to our compatriots to be an achievement, until they learn the real standing of their
new acquaintances.
No gayer houses, however, exist than those of the new set. At their city or country houses, they entertain
continually, and they are the people one meets toward five o'clock, on the grounds of the Polo Club, in the
Bois, at FETES given by the Island Club of Puteaux, attending the race meetings, or dining at American
houses. As far as amusement and fun go, one might seek much further and fare worse.
It is very, very rare that foreigners get beyond this circle. Occasionally there is a marriage between an
American girl and some Frenchman of high rank. In these cases the girl is, as it were, swallowed up. Her
family see little of her, she rarely appears in general society, and, little by little, she is lost to her old friends
and relations. I know of several cases of this kind where it is to be doubted if a dozen Americans outside of
the girls' connections know that such women exist. The fall in rents and land values has made the French
aristocracy poor; it is only by the greatest economy (and it never entered into an American mind to conceive
of such economy as is practised among them) that they succeed in holding on to their historical chateaux or
beautiful city residences; so that pride plays a large part in the isolation in which they live.
The fact that no titles are recognized officially by the French government (the most they can obtain being a
"courtesy" recognition) has placed these people in a singularly false position. An American girl who has
married a Duke is a good deal astonished to find that she is legally only plain "Madame So and So;" that
when her husband does his military service there is no trace of the highsounding title to be found in his
official papers. Some years ago, a colonel was rebuked because he allowed the Duc d'Alencon to be
addressed as "Monseigneur" by the other officers of his regiment. This ought to make ambitious papas
reflect, when they treat themselves to titled sonsinlaw. They should at least try and get an article
recognized by the law.
Most of what is written here is perfectly well known to resident Americans in Paris, and has been the cause of
gradually splitting that once harmonious settlement into two perfectly distinct camps, between which no love
is lost. The members of one, clinging to their countrymen's creed of having the best or nothing, have been
contented to live in France and know but few French people, entertaining among themselves and marrying
their daughters to Americans. The members of the other, who have "gone in" for French society, take what
they can get, and, on the whole, lead very jolly lives. It often happens (perhaps it is only a coincidence) that
ladies who have not been very successful at home are partial to this circle, where they easily find guests for
their entertainments and the recognition their souls long for.
What the future of the "Great Faubourg" will be, it is hard to say. All hope of a possible RESTAURATION
appears to be lost. Will the proud necks that refused to bend to the Orleans dynasty or the two "empires" bow
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 30 The Faubourg of St. Germain 66
Page No 69
themselves to the republican yoke? It would seem as if it must terminate in this way, for everything in this
world must finish. But the end is not yet; one cannot help feeling sympathy for people who are trying to live
up to their traditions and be true to such immaterial idols as "honor" and "family" in this discouragingly
material age, when everything goes down before the Golden Calf. Nor does one wonder that men who can
trace their ancestors back to the Crusades should hesitate to ally themselves with the last rich PARVENU
who has raised himself from the gutter, or resent the ardor with which the latest importation of American
ambition tries to chum with them and push its way into their life.
CHAPTER 31 Men's Manners
NOTHING makes one feel so old as to wake up suddenly, as it were, and realize that the conditions of life
have changed, and that the standards you knew and accepted in your youth have been raised or lowered. The
young men you meet have somehow become uncomfortably polite, offering you armchairs in the club, and
listening with a shade of deference to your stories. They are of another generation; their ways are not your
ways, nor their ambitions those you had in younger days. One is tempted to look a little closer, to analyze
what the change is, in what this subtle difference consists, which you feel between your past and their
present. You are surprised and a little angry to discover that, among other things, young men have better
manners than were general among the youths of fifteen years ago.
Anyone over forty can remember three epochs in men's manners. When I was a very young man, there were
still going about in society a number of gentlemen belonging to what was reverently called the "old school,"
who had evidently taken Sir Charles Grandison as their model, read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with
attention, and been brought up to commence letters to their fathers, "Honored Parent," signing themselves
"Your humble servant and respectful son." There are a few such old gentlemen still to be found in the more
conservative clubs, where certain windows are tacitly abandoned to these elegantmannered fossils. They are
quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent mood, when they are apt to be a little
tiresome; it takes their rusty mental machinery so long to get working! Washington possesses a particularly
fine collection among the retired army and navy officers and exofficials. It is a fact well known that no one
drawing a pension ever dies.
About 1875, a new generation with new manners began to make its appearance. A number of its members
had been educated at English universities, and came home burning to upset old ways and teach their elders
how to live. They broke away from the old clubs and started smaller and more exclusive circles among
themselves, principally in the country. This was a period of bad manners. True to their English model, they
considered it "good form" to be uncivil and to make no effort towards the general entertainment when in
society. Not to speak more than a word or two during a dinner party to either of one's neighbors was the
supreme CHIC. As a revolt from the twicetold tales of their elders they held it to be "bad form" to tell a
story, no matter how fresh and amusing it might be. An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in their
club was crushed by having his tale received in dead silence. When it was finished one of the party would
"ring the bell," and the circle order drinks at the expense of the man who had dared to amuse them. How the
professional storyteller must have shuddered he whose story never was ripe until it had been told a couple
of hundred times, and who would produce a certain tale at a certain course as surely as clockwork.
That the storytelling type was a bore, I grant. To be grabbed on entering your club and obliged to listen to
Smith's last, or to have the conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his eternal "Speaking of
coffee, I remember once," etc. added an additional hardship to existence. But the opposite pose, which
became the fashion among the reformers, was hardly less wearisome. To sit among a group of perfectly mute
men, with an occasional word dropping into the silence like a stone in a well, was surely little better.
A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a youth whose only remark during the evening
had been (after absorbed contemplation of the articles in question), "How do you like my socks?"
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 31 Men's Manners 67
Page No 70
On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me:
"I think the man on my right has gone to sleep. He is sitting with his eyes closed!" She was mistaken. He was
practising his newly acquired "repose of manner," and living up to the standard of his set.
The model young man of that period had another offensive habit, his pose of never seeing you, which got on
the nerves of his elders to a considerable extent. If he came into a drawingroom where you were sitting with
a lady, he would shake hands with her and begin a conversation, ignoring your existence, although you may
have been his guest at dinner the night before, or he yours. This was also a tenet of his creed borrowed from
transAtlantic cousins, who, by the bye, during the time I speak of, found America, and especially our
Eastern states, a happy huntingground, all the clubs, country houses, and society generally opening their
doors to the "sesame" of English nationality. It took our innocent youths a good ten years to discover that
there was no reciprocity in the arrangement; it was only in the next epoch (the list of the three referred to) that
our men recovered their selfrespect, and assumed towards foreigners in general the attitude of polite
indifference which is their manner to us when abroad. Nothing could have been more provincial and narrow
than the ideas of our "smart" men at that time. They congregated in little cliques, huddling together in public,
and cracking personal old jokes; but were speechless with MAUVAISE HONTE if thrown among foreigners
or into other circles of society. All this is not to be wondered at considering the amount of their general
education and reading. One charming little custom then greatly in vogue among our JEUNESSE DOREE was
to remain at a ball, after the other guests had retired, tipsy, and then break anything that came to hand. It was
so amusing to throw china, glass, or valuable plants, out of the windows, to strip to the waist and box or bait
the tired waiters.
I look at the boys growing up around me with sincere admiration, they are so superior to their predecessors in
breeding, in civility, in deference to older people, and in a thousand other little ways that mark highbred
men. The stray Englishman, of no particular standing at home no longer finds our men eager to entertain him,
to put their best "hunter" at his disposition, to board, lodge, and feed him indefinitely, or make him honorary
member of all their clubs. It is a constant source of pleasure to me to watch this younger generation, so
plainly do I see in them the influence of their mothers women I knew as girls, and who were so far ahead of
their brothers and husbands in refinement and culture. To have seen these girls marry and bring up their sons
so well has been a satisfaction and a compensation for many disillusions. Woman's influence will always
remain the strongest lever that can be brought to bear in raising the tone of a family; it is impossible not to
see about these young men a reflection of what we found so charming in their mothers. One despairs at times
of humanity, seeing vulgarity and snobbishness riding triumphantly upward; but where the tone of the
younger generation is as high as I have lately found it, there is still much hope for the future.
CHAPTER 32 An Ideal Hostess
THE saying that "Onehalf of the world ignores how the other half lives" received for me an additional
confirmation this last week, when I had the good fortune to meet again an old friend, now for some years
retired from the stage, where she had by her charm and beauty, as well as by her singing, held all the Parisian
world at her pretty feet.
Our meeting was followed on her part by an invitation to take luncheon with her the next day, "to meet a few
friends, and talk over old times." So halfpast twelve (the invariable hour for the "second breakfast," in
France) the following day found me entering a shady drawingroom, where a few people were sitting in the
cool halflight that strayed across from a canvascovered balcony furnished with plants and low chairs.
Beyond one caught a glimpse of perhaps the gayest picture that the bright city of Paris offers, the sweep of
the Boulevard as it turns to the Rue Royale, the flower market, gay with a thousand colors in the summer
sunshine, while above all the color and movement, rose, cool and gray, the splendid colonnade of the
Madeleine. The rattle of carriages, the roll of the heavy omnibuses and the shrill cries from the street below
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 32 An Ideal Hostess 68
Page No 71
floated up, softened into a harmonious murmur that in no way interfered with our conversation, and is
sweeter than the finest music to those who love their Paris.
Five or six rooms EN SUITE opening on the street, and as many more on a large court, formed the apartment,
where everything betrayed the ARTISTE and the singer. The walls, hung with silk or tapestry, held a
collection of original drawings and paintings, a fortune in themselves; the dozen portraits of our hostess in
favorite roles were by men great in the art world; a couple of pianos covered with wellworn music and
numberless photographs signed with names that would have made an autographfiend's mouth water.
After a gracious, cooing welcome, more whispered than spoken, I was presented to the guests I did not know.
Before this ceremony was well over, two maids in black, with white caps, opened a door into the
diningroom and announced luncheon. As this is written on the theme that "people know too little how their
neighbors live," I give the MENU. It may amuse my readers and serve, perhaps, as a little object lesson to
those at home who imagine that quantity and not quality is of importance.
Our gracious hostess had earned a fortune in her profession (and I am told that two CHEFS preside over her
simple meals); so it was not a spirit of economy which dictated this simplicity. At first, HORS D'OEUVRES
were served, all sorts of tempting little things, very thin slices of ham, spiced sausages, olives and caviar,
and eaten not merely passed and refused. Then came the one hot dish of the meal. "One!" I think I hear my
reader exclaim. Yes, my friend, but that one was a marvel in its way. Chicken A L'ESPAGNOLE, boiled, and
buried in rice and tomatoes cooked whole a dish to be dreamed of and remembered in one's prayers and
thanksgivings! After at least two helpings each to this CHEF D'OEUVRE, cold larded fillet and a meat pate
were served with the salad. Then a bit of cheese, a beaten cream of chocolate, fruit, and bonbons. For a
drink we had the white wine from which champagne is made (by a chemical process and the addition of many
injurious ingredients); in other words, a pure BRUT champagne with just a suggestion of sparkle at the
bottom of your glass. All the party then migrated together into the smokingroom for cigarettes, coffee, and a
tiny glass of LIQUEUR.
These details have been given at length, not only because the meal seemed to me, while I was eating it, to be
worthy of whole columns of print, but because one of the besetting sins of our dear land is to serve a
profusion of food no one wants and which the hostess would never have dreamed of ordering had she been
alone.
Nothing is more wearisome than to sit at table and see course after course, good, bad, and indifferent, served,
after you have eaten what you want. And nothing is more vulgar than to serve them; for either a guest refuses
a great deal of the food and appears uncivil, or he must eat, and regret it afterwards. If we ask people to a
meal, it should be to such as we eat, as a general thing, ourselves, and such as they would have at home.
Otherwise it becomes ostentation and vulgarity. Why should one be expelled to eat more than usual because a
friend has been nice enough to ask one to take one's dinner with him, instead of eating it alone? It is the being
among friends that tempts, not the food; the fact at skilful waiters have been able to serve a dozen varieties of
fish, flesh, and fowl during the time you were at table has added little to any one's pleasure. On the contrary!
Half the time one eats from pure absence of mind, a number of most injurious mixtures and so prepares an
awful tomorrow and the foundation of many complicated diseases.
I see Smith and Jones daily at the club, where we dine cheerfully together on soup, a cut of the joint, a
dessert, and drink a pint of claret. But if either Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jones asks me to dinner, we have eight
courses and half as many wines, and Smith will say quite gravely to me, "Try this '75 'Perrier Jouet'," as if he
were in the habit of drinking it daily. It makes me smile, for he would as soon think of ordering a bottle of
that wine at the club as he would think of ordering a flask of nectar.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 32 An Ideal Hostess 69
Page No 72
But to return to our "mutton." As we had none of us eaten too much (and so become digesting machines), we
were cheerful and sprightly. A little music followed and an author repeated some of his poetry. I noticed that
during the hour before we broke up our hostess contrived to have a little talk with each of her guests, which
she made quite personal, appearing for the moment as though the rest of the world did not exist for her, than
which there is no more subtle flattery, and which is the act of a wellbred and appreciative woman. Guests
cannot be treated EN MASSE any more than food; to ask a man to your house is not enough. He should be
made to feel, if you wish him to go away with a pleasant remembrance of the entertainment, that his presence
has in some way added to it and been a personal pleasure to his host.
A good soul that all New York knew a few years ago, whose entertainments were as though the street had
been turned into a SALON for the moment, used to go about among her guests saying, "There have been one
hundred and seventyfive people here this Thursday, ten more than last week," with such a satisfied smile,
that you felt that she had little left to wish for, and found yourself wondering just which number you
represented in her mind. When you entered she must have murmured a numeral to herself as she shook your
hand.
There is more than one house in New York where I have grave doubts if the host and hostess are quite sure of
my name when I dine there; after an abstracted welcome, they rarely put themselves out to entertain their
guests. Black coats and evening dresses alternate in pleasing perspective down the long line of their table.
Their gold plate is out, and the CHEF has been allowed to work his own sweet will, so they give themselves
no further trouble.
Why does not some one suggest to these amphitrions to send fifteen dollars in prettily monogrammed
envelopes to each of their friends, requesting them to expend it on a dinner. The compliment would be quite
as personal, and then the guests might make up little parties to suit themselves, which would be much more
satisfactory than going "in" with some one chosen at hazard from their host's visiting list, and less fatiguing to
that gentleman and his family.
CHAPTER 33 The Introducer
WE all suffer more or less from the perennial "freshness" of certain acquaintances tiresome people whom a
misguided Providence has endowed with overflowing vitality and an irrepressible love of their fellowmen,
and who, not content with looking on life as a continual "spree," insist on making others happy in spite of
themselves. Their name is legion and their presence ubiquitous, but they rarely annoy as much as when
disguised under the mask of the "Introducer." In his clutches one is helpless. It is impossible to escape from
such philanthropic tyranny. He, in his freshness, imagines that to present human beings to each other is his
mission in this world and moves through life making these platonic unions, oblivious, as are other
matchmakers, of the misery he creates.
If you are out for a quiet stroll, one of these genial gentlemen is sure to come bounding up, and without notice
or warning present you to his "friend," the greater part of the time a man he has met only an hour before,
but whom he endows out of the warehouse of his generous imagination with several talents and all the
virtues. In order to make the situation just one shade more uncomfortable, this kindly bore proceeds to sing a
hymn of praise concerning both of you to your faces, adding, in order that you may both feel quite friendly
and pleasant:
"I know you two will fancy each other, you are so alike," a phrase neatly calculated to nip any conversation
in the bud. You detest the unoffending stranger on the spot and would like to kill the bore. Not to appear an
absolute brute you struggle through some commonplace phrases, discovering the while that your new
acquaintance is no more anxious to know you, than you are to meet him; that he has not the slightest idea
who you are, neither does he desire to find out. He classes you with the bore, and his one idea, like your own,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 33 The Introducer 70
Page No 73
is to escape. So that the only result of the Introducer's goodnatured interference has been to make two
fellow creatures miserable.
A friend was telling me the other day of the martyrdom he had suffered from this class. He spoke with much
feeling, as he is the soul of amiability, but somewhat shortsighted and afflicted with a hopelessly bad
memory for faces. For the last few years, he has been in the habit of spending one or two of the winter
months in Washington, where his friends put him up at one club or another. Each winter on his first
appearance at one of these clubs, some kindly disposed old fogy is sure to present him to a circle of the
members, and he finds himself indiscriminately shaking hands with Judges and Colonels. As little or no
conversation follows these introductions to fix the individuality of the members in his mind, he
unconsciously cuts twothirds of his newly acquired circle the next afternoon, and the following winter, after
a tenmonths' absence, he innocently ignores the other third. So hopelessly has he offended in this way, that
last season, on being presented to a club member, the latter peevishly blurted out:
"This is the fourth time I have been introduced to Mr. Blank, but he never remembers me," and glared coldly
at him, laying it all down to my friend's snobbishness and to the airs of a New Yorker when away from home.
If instead of being sacrificed to the introducer's mistaken zeal my poor friend had been left quietly to himself,
he would in good time have met the people congenial to him and avoided giving offence to a number of
kindly gentlemen.
This introducing mania takes an even more aggressive form in the hostess, who imagines that she is lacking
in hospitality if any two people in her drawingroom are not made known to each other. No matter how
interested you may be in a chat with a friend, you will see her bearing down upon you, bringing in tow the
one human being you have carefully avoided for years. Escape seems impossible, but as a forlorn hope you
fling yourself into conversation with your nearest neighbor, trying by your absorbed manner to ward off the
calamity. In vain! With a tap on your elbow your smiling hostess introduces you and, having spoiled your
afternoon, flits off in search of other prey.
The question of introductions is one on which it is impossible to lay down any fixed rules. There must
constantly occur situations where one's acts must depend upon a kindly consideration for other people's
feelings, which after all, is only another name for tact. Nothing so plainly shows the breeding of a man or
woman as skill in solving problems of this kind without giving offence.
Foreigners, with their greater knowledge of the world, rarely fall into the error of indiscriminate introducing,
appreciating what a presentation means and what obligations it entails. The English fall into exactly the
contrary error from ours, and carry it to absurd lengths. Starting with the assumption that everybody knows
everybody, and being aware of the general dread of meeting "detrimentals," they avoid the difficulty by
making no introductions. This may work well among themselves, but it is trying to a stranger whom they
have been good enough to ask to their tables, to sit out the meal between two people who ignore his presence
and converse across him; for an Englishman will expire sooner than speak to a person to whom he has not
been introduced.
The French, with the marvellous tact that has for centuries made them the lawgivers on all subjects of
etiquette and breeding, have another way of avoiding useless introductions. They assume that two people
meeting in a drawingroom belong to the same world and so chat pleasantly with those around them. On
leaving the SALON the acquaintance is supposed to end, and a gentleman who should at another time or
place bow or speak to the lady who had offered him a cup of tea and talked pleasantly to him over it at a
friend's reception, would commit a gross breach of etiquette.
I was once present at a large dinner given in Cologne to the American Geographical Society. No sooner was I
seated than my two neighbors turned towards me mentioning their names and waiting for me to do the same.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 33 The Introducer 71
Page No 74
After that the conversation flowed on as among friends. This custom struck me as exceedingly wellbred and
calculated to make a foreigner feel at his ease.
Among other curious types, there are people so constituted that they are unhappy if a single person can be
found in the room to whom they have not been introduced. It does not matter who the stranger may be or
what chance there is of finding him congenial. They must be presented; nothing else will content them. If you
are chatting with a friend you feel a pull at your sleeve, and in an audible aside, they ask for an introduction.
The aspirant will then bring up and present the members of his family who happen to be near. After that he
seems to be at ease, and having absolutely nothing to say will soon drift off. Our public men suffer terribly
from promiscuous introductions; it is a part of a political career; a good memory for names and faces and a
cordial manner under fire have often gone a long way in floating a statesman on to success.
Demand, we are told, creates supply. During a short stay in a Florida hotel last winter, I noticed a curious
little man who looked like a cross between a waiter and a musician. As he spoke to me several times and
seemed very officious, I asked who he was. The answer was so grotesque that I could not believe my ears. I
was told that he held the position of official "introducer," or master of ceremonies, and that the guests under
his guidance became known to each other, danced, rode, and married to their own and doubtless to his
satisfaction. The further west one goes the more pronounced this mania becomes. Everybody is introduced to
everybody on all imaginable occasions. If a man asks you to take a drink, he presents you to the bartender.
If he takes you for a drive, the cabdriver is introduced. "Boots" makes you acquainted with the
chambermaid, and the hotel proprietor unites you in the bonds of friendship with the clerk at the desk.
Intercourse with one's fellows becomes one long debauch of introduction. In this country where every liberty
is respected, it is a curious fact that we should be denied the most important of all rights, that of choosing our
acquaintances.
CHAPTER 34 A Question and an Answer
DEAR IDLER:
I HAVE been reading your articles in The Evening Post. They are really most amusing! You do know such a
lot about people and things, that I am tempted to write and ask you a question on a subject that is puzzling
me. What is it that is necessary to succeed socially? There! It is out! Please do not laugh at me. Such funny
people get on and such clever, agreeable ones fail, that I am all at sea. Now do be nice and answer me, and
you will have a very grateful
ADMIRER.
The above note, in a rather juvenile feminine hand, and breathing a faint perfume of VIOLETTE DE
PARME, was part of the morning's mail that I found lying on my desk a few days ago, in delightful contrast
to the bills and advertisements which formed the bulk of my correspondence. It would suppose a stoicism
greater than I possess, not to have felt a thrill of satisfaction in its perusal. There was, then, some one who
read with pleasure what I wrote, and who had been moved to consult me on a question (evidently to her) of
importance. I instantly decided to do my best for the edification of my fair correspondent (for no doubt
entered my head that she was both young and fair), the more readily because that very question had
frequently presented itself to my own mind on observing the very capricious choice of Dame "Fashion" in the
distribution of her favors.
That there are people who succeed brilliantly and move from success to success, amid an applauding crowd
of friends and admirers, while others, apparently their superiors in every way, are distanced in the race, is an
undeniable fact. You have but to glance around the circle of your acquaintances and relations to be convinced
of this anomaly. To a reflecting mind the question immediately presents itself, Why is this? General society is
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 34 A Question and an Answer 72
Page No 75
certainly cultivated enough to appreciate intelligence and superior endowments. How then does it happen that
the social favorites are so often lacking in the qualities which at a first glance would seem indispensable to
success?
Before going any further let us stop a moment, and look at the subject from another side, for it is more serious
than appears to be on the surface. To be loved by those around us, to stand well in the world, is certainly the
most legitimate as well as the most common of ambitions, as well as the incentive to most of the industry and
perseverance in life. Aside from science, which is sometimes followed for itself alone, and virtue, which we
are told looks for no other reward, the hope which inspires a great deal of the persistent efforts we see, is
generally that of raising one's self and those one loves by one's efforts into a sphere higher than where cruel
fate had placed them; that they, too, may take their place in the sunshine and enjoy the good things of life.
This ambition is often purely disinterested; a life of hardest toil is cheerfully borne, with the hope (for sole
consolation) that dear ones will profit later by all the work, and live in a circle the patient toiler never dreams
of entering. Surely he is a stern moralist who would deny this satisfaction to the breadwinner of a family.
There are doubtless many higher motives in life, more elevated goals toward which struggling humanity
should strive. If you examine the average mind, however, you will be pretty sure to find that success is the
touchstone by which we judge our fellows and what, in our hearts, we admire the most. That is not to be
wondered at, either, for we have done all we can to implant it there. From a child's first opening thought, it is
impressed upon him that the great object of existence is to succeed. Did a parent ever tell a child to try and
stand last in his class? And yet humility is a virtue we admire in the abstract. Are any of us willing to step
aside and see our inferiors pass us in the race? That is too much to ask of poor humanity. Were other and
higher standards to be accepted, the structure of civilization as it exists today would crumble away and the
great machine run down.
In returning to my correspondent and her perfectly legitimate desire to know the road to success, we must
realize that to a large part of the world social success is the only kind they understand. The great inventors
and benefactors of mankind live too far away on a plane by themselves to be the object of jealousy to any but
a very small circle; on the other hand, in these days of equality, especially in this country where caste has
never existed, the social world seems to hold out alluring and tangible gifts to him who can enter its
enchanted portals. Even politics, to judge by the actions of some of our legislators, of late, would seem to be
only a steppingstone to its door!
"But my question," I hear my fair interlocutor saying. "You are not answering it!"
All in good time, my dear. I am just about to do so. Did you ever hear of Darwin and his theory of
"selection?" It would be a slight to your intelligence not to take it for granted that you had. Well, my
observations in the world lead me to believe that we follow there unconsciously, the same rules that guide the
wild beasts in the forest. Certain individuals are endowed by nature with temperaments which make them
take naturally to a social life and shine there. In it they find their natural element. They develop freely just
where others shrivel up and disappear. There is continually going on unseen a "natural selection," the
discarding of unfit material, the assimilation of new and congenial elements from outside, with the logical
result of a survival of the fittest. Aside from this, you will find in "the world," as anywhere else, that the
person who succeeds is generally he who has been willing to give the most of his strength and mind to that
one object, and has not allowed the flowers on the hillside to distract him from his path, remembering also
that genius is often but the "capacity for taking infinite pains."
There are people so constituted that they cheerfully give the efforts of a lifetime to the attainment of a
brilliant social position. No fatigue is too great, and no snubs too bitter to be willingly undergone in pursuit of
the cherished object. You will never find such an individual, for instance, wandering in the flowery byways
that lead to art or letters, for that would waste his time. If his family are too hard to raise, he will abandon the
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 34 A Question and an Answer 73
Page No 76
attempt and rise without them, for he cannot help himself. He is but an atom working as blindly upward as
the plant that pushes its mysterious way towards the sun. Brains are not necessary. Good looks are but a
trump the more in the "hand." Manners may help, but are not essential. The object can be and is attained daily
without all three. Wealth is but the oil that makes the machinery run more smoothly. The allimportant factor
is the desire to succeed, so strong that it makes any price seem cheap, and that can pay itself by a step gained,
for mortification and weariness and heartburnings.
There, my dear, is the secret of success! I stop because I feel myself becoming bitter, and that is a frame of
mind to be carefully avoided, because it interferes with the digestion and upsets one's gentle calm! I have
tried to answer your question. The answer resolves itself into these two things; that it is necessary to be born
with qualities which you may not possess, and calls for sacrifices you would doubtless be unwilling to make.
It remains with you to decide if the little game is worth the candle. The delightful common sense I feel quite
sure you possess reassures me as to your answer.
Take gayly such good things as may float your way, and profit by them while they last. Wander off into all
the crossroads that tempt you. Stop often to lend a helping hand to a less fortunate traveller. Rest in the heat
of the day, as your spirit prompts you. Sit down before the sunset and revel in its beauty and you will find
your voyage through life much more satisfactory to look back to and full of far sweeter memories than if by
sacrificing any of these pleasures you had attained the greatest of "positions."
CHAPTER 35 Living on your Friends
THACKERAY devoted a chapter in "Vanity Fair" to the problem "How to Live Well on Nothing a Year." It
was neither a very new nor a very ingenious expedient that "Becky" resorted to when she discounted her
husband's position and connection to fleece the tradespeople and cheat an old family servant out of a year's
rent. The author might more justly have used his clever phrase in describing "Major Pendennis's" agreeable
existence. We have made great progress in this, as in almost every other mode of living, in the latter half of
the Victorian era; intelligent individuals of either sex, who know the ropes, can now as easily lead the
existence of a multi millionaire (with as much satisfaction to themselves and their friends) as though the
bank account, with all its attendant worries, stood in their own names. This subject is so vast, its ramifications
so farreaching and complicated, that one hesitates before launching into an analysis of it. It will be better
simply to give a few interesting examples, and a general rule or two, for the enlightenment and guidance of
ingenious souls.
Human nature changes little; all that our educational and social training has accomplished is a smoothing of
the surface. One of the most striking proofs of this is, that here in our primitive country, as soon as
accumulation of capital allowed certain families to live in great luxury, they returned to the ways of older
aristocracies, and, with other wants, felt the necessity of a court about them, ladies and gentlemen in waiting,
pages and jesters. Nature abhors a vacuum, so a class of people immediately felt an irresistible impulse to
rush in and fill the void. Our aristocrats were not even obliged to send abroad to fill these vacancies, as they
were for their footmen and butlers; the native article was quite ready and willing and, considering the little
practice it could have had, proved wonderfully adapted to the work.
When the mania for building immense country houses and yachts (the owning of opera boxes goes a little
further back) first attacked this country, the builders imagined that, once completed, it would be the easiest,
as well as the most delightful task to fill them with the pick of their friends, that they could get all the talented
and agreeable people they wanted by simply making a sign. To their astonishment, they discovered that what
appeared so simple was a difficult, as well as a thankless labor. I remember asking a lady who had owned a
"proscenium" at the old Academy, why she had decided not to take a box in the (then) new operahouse.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 35 Living on your Friends 74
Page No 77
"Because, having passed thirty years of my life inviting people to sit in my box, I intend now to rest." It is
very much the same thing with yachts. A couple who had determined to go around the world, in their lately
finished boat, were dumbfounded to find their invitations were not eagerly accepted. After exhausting the
small list of people they really wanted, they began with others indifferent to them, and even then filled out
their number with difficulty. A hostess who counts on a series of house parties through the autumn months,
must begin early in the summer if she is to have the guests she desires.
It is just here that the "professional," if I may be allowed to use such an expression, comes to the front. He is
always available. It is indifferent to him if he starts on a tour around the world or for a winter spree to
Montreal. He is always amusing, good humored, and can be counted on at the last moment to fill any vacant
place, without being the least offended at the tardy invitation, for he belongs to the class who have discovered
"how to live well on nothing a year." Luxury is as the breath of his nostrils, but his means allow of little
beyond necessities. The temptation must be great when everything that he appreciates most (and cannot
afford) is urged upon him. We should not pose as too stern moralists, and throw stones at him; for there may
enter more "best French plate" into the composition of our own houses than we imagine.
It is here our epoch shows its improvement over earlier and cruder days. At present no toadeating is
connected with the acceptance of hospitality, or, if occasionally a small "batrachian" is offered, it is so well
disguised by an accomplished CHEF, and served on such exquisite old Dresden, that it slips down with very
little effort. Even this rarely occurs, unless the guest has allowed himself to become the inmate of a residence
or yacht. Then he takes his chance with other members of the household, and if the host or hostess happens to
have a bad temper as a setoff to their good table, it is apt to fare ill with our friend.
So far, I have spoken of this class in the masculine, which is an error, as the art is successfully practised by
the weaker sex, with this shade of difference. As an unmarried woman is in less general demand, she is apt to
attach herself to one dear friend, always sure to be a lady in possession of fine country and city houses and
other appurtenances of wealth, often of inferior social standing; so that there is give and take, the guest
rendering real service to an ambitious hostess. The feminine aspirant need not be handsome. On the contrary,
an agreeable plainness is much more acceptable, serving as a foil. But she must be excellent in all games,
from golf to piquet, and willing to play as often and as long as required. She must also cheerfully go in to
dinner with the blue ribbon bore of the evening, only asked on account of his pretty wife (by the bye, why is
it that Beauty is so often flanked by the Beast?), and sit between him and the "second prize" bore. These two
worthies would have been the portion of the hostess fifteen years ago; she would have considered it her duty
to absorb them and prevent her other guests suffering. MAIS NOUS AVONS CHANGE TOUT CELA. The
lady of the house now thinks first of amusing herself, and arranges to sit between two favorites.
Society has become much simpler, and especially less expensive, for unmarried men than it used to be. Even
if a hostess asks a favor in return for weeks of hospitality, the sacrifice she requires of a man is rarely greater
than a cotillion with an unattractive debutante whom she is trying to launch; or the sitting through a
particularly dull opera in order to see her to the carriage, her lord and master having slipped off early to his
club and a quiet game of pool. Many people who read these lines are old enough to remember that prehistoric
period when unmarried girls went to the theatre and parties, alone with the men they knew. This custom still
prevails in our irrepressible West. It was an arrangement by which all the expenses fell on the man theatre
tickets, carriages if it rained, and often a bit of supper after. If a youth asked a girl to dance the cotillion, he
was expected to send a bouquet, sure to cost between twenty and twentyfive dollars. What a blessed change
for the impecunious swell when all this went out of fashion! New York is his paradise now; in other parts of
the world something is still expected of him. In France it takes the form of a handsome bag of bonbons on
New Year's Day, if he has accepted hospitality during the past year. While here he need do absolutely nothing
(unless he wishes to), the occasional leaving of a card having been suppressed of late by our JEUNESSE
DOREE, five minutes of their society in an opera box being estimated (by them) as ample return for a dinner
or a week in a country house.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 35 Living on your Friends 75
Page No 78
The truth of it is, there are so few men who "go out" (it being practically impossible for any one working at a
serious profession to sit up night after night, even if he desired), and at the same time so many women insist
on entertaining to amuse themselves or better their position, that the men who go about get spoiled and
almost come to consider the obligation conferred, when they dine out. There is no more amusing sight than
poor paterfamilias sitting in the club between six and seven P.M. pretending to read the evening paper, but
really with his eve on the door; he has been sent down by his wife to "get a man," as she is one short for her
dinner this evening. He must be one who will fit in well with the other guests; hence papa's anxious look, and
the reason the editorial gets so little of his attention! Watch him as young "professional" lounges in. There is
just his man if he only happens to be disengaged! You will see "Pater" cross the room and shake hands,
then, after a few minutes' whispered conversation, he will walk down to his coupe with such a relieved look
on his face. Young "professional," who is in faultless evening dress, will ring for a cocktail and take up the
discarded evening paper to pass the time till eight twentyfive.
Eight twentyfive, advisedly, for he will be the last to arrive, knowing, clever dog, how much eCLAT it
gives one to have a room full of people asking each other, "Whom are we waiting for?" when the door opens,
and he is announced. He will stay a moment after the other guests have gone and receive the most cordial
pressures of the hand from a grateful hostess (if not spoken words of thanks) in return for eating an
exquisitely cooked dinner, seated between two agreeable women, drinking irreproachable wine, smoking a
cigar, and washing the whole down with a glass of 1830 brandy, or some priceless historic madeira.
There is probably a moral to be extracted from all this. But frankly my ethics are so mixed that I fail to see
where the blame lies, and which is the less worthy individual, the ostentatious axegrinding host or the
interested guest. One thing, however, I see clearly, viz., that life is very agreeable to him who starts in with
few prejudices, good manners, a large amount of wellconcealed "cheek" and the happy faculty of taking
things as they come.
CHAPTER 36 American Society in Italy
THE phrase at the head of this chapter and other sentences, such as "American Society in Paris," or London,
are constantly on the lips of people who should know better. In reality these societies do not exist. Does my
reader pause, wondering if he can believe his eyes? He has doubtless heard all his life of these delightful
circles, and believes in them. He may even have dined, EN PASSANT, at the "palace" of some resident
compatriot in Rome or Florence, under the impression that he was within its mystic limits. Illusion! An effect
of mirage, making that which appears quite tangible and solid when viewed from a distance dissolve into thin
air as one approaches; like the mirage, cheating the weary traveller with a vision of what he most longs for.
Forty, even fifty years ago, there lived in Rome a group of very agreeable people; Story and the two
Greenoughs and Crawford, the sculptor (father of the brilliant novelist of today); Charlotte Cushman (who
divided her time between Rome and Newport), and her friend Miss Stebbins, the sculptress, to whose hands
we owe the bronze fountain on the Mall in our Park; Rogers, then working at the bronze doors of our capitol,
and many other cultivated and agreeable people. Hawthorne passed a couple of winters among them, and the
tone of that society is reflected in his "Marble Faun." He took Story as a model for his "Kenyon," and was the
first to note the exotic grace of an American girl in that strange setting. They formed as transcendental and
unworldly a group as ever gathered about a "tea" table. Great things were expected of them and their
influence, but they disappointed the world, and, with the exception of Hawthorne, are being fast forgotten.
Nothing could be simpler than life in the papal capital in those pleasant days. Money was rare, but living as
delightfully inexpensive. It was about that time, if I do not mistake, that a list was published in New York of
the citizens worth one hundred thousand dollars; and it was not a long one! The Roman colony took "tea"
informally with each other, and "received" on stated evenings in their studios (when mulled claret and cakes
were the only refreshment offered; very bad they were, too), and migrated in the summer to the mountains
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 36 American Society in Italy 76
Page No 79
near Rome or to Sorrento. In the winter months their circle was enlarged by a contingent from home. Among
wealthy New Yorkers, it was the fashion in the early fifties to pass a winter in Rome, when, together with his
other dissipations, paterfamilias would sit to one of the American sculptors for his bust, which accounts for
the horrors one now runs across in dark corners of country houses, ghostly heads in "chin whiskers" and
Roman draperies.
The son of one of these pioneers, more rich than cultivated, noticed the other day, while visiting a friend of
mine, an exquisite eighteenthcentury bust of Madame de Pompadour, the pride of his hostess's
drawingroom. "Ah!" said Midas, "are busts the fashion again? I have one of my father, done in Rome in
1850. I will bring it down and put it in my parlor."
The travellers consulted the residents in their purchases of copies of the old masters, for there were fashions
in these luxuries as in everything else. There was a run at that time on the "Madonna in the Chair;" and
"Beatrice Cenci" was long prime favorite. Thousands of the latter leering and winking over her everlasting
shoulder, were solemnly sent home each year. No one ever dreamed of buying an original painting! The
tourists also developed a taste for large marble statues, "Nydia, the Blind Girl of Pompeii" (people read
Bulwer, Byron and the Bible then) being in such demand that I knew one block in lower Fifth Avenue that
possessed seven blind Nydias, all lifesize, in white marble, a form of decoration about as well adapted to
those scanty front parlors as a steam engine or a carriage and pair would have been. I fear Bulwer's heroine is
at a discount now, and often wonder as I see those old residences turning into shops, what has become of the
seven white elephants and all their brothers and sisters that our innocent parents brought so proudly back
from Italy! I have succeeded in locating two statues evidently imported at that time. They grace the back
steps of a rather shabby villa in the country, Demosthenes and Cicero, larger than life, dreary, funereal
memorials of the follies of our fathers.
The simple days we have been speaking of did not, however, outlast the circle that inaugurated them. About
1867 a few rich New Yorkers began "trying to know the Italians" and go about with them. One family, "up to
snuff" in more senses than one, married their daughter to the scion of a princely house, and immediately a
large number of her compatriots were bitten with the madness of going into Italian society.
In 1870, Rome became the capital of united Italy. The court removed there. The "improvements" began.
Whole quarters were remodelled, and the dear old Rome of other days, the Rome of Hawthorne and Madame
de Stael, was swept away. With this new state of things came a number of AmericoItalian marriages more
or less successful; and anything like an American society, properly so called, disappeared. Today families
of our compatriots passing the winter months in Rome are either tourists who live in hotels, and see sights, or
go (as far as they can) into Italian society.
The Queen of Italy, who speaks excellent English, developed a PENCHANT for Americans, and has attached
several who married Italians to her person in different court capacities; indeed, the old "Black" society, who
have remained true to the Pope, when they wish to ridicule the new "White" or royal circle, call it the
"American court!" The feeling is bitter still between the "Blacks" and "Whites," and an American girl who
marries into one of these circles must make up her mind to see nothing of friends or relatives in the
opposition ranks. It is said that an amalgamation is being brought about, but it is slow work; a generation will
have to die out before much real mingling of the two courts will take place. As both these circles are poor,
very little entertainment goes on. One sees a little life in the diplomatic world, and the King and Queen give a
ball or two during the winter, but since the repeated defeats of the Italian arms in Africa, and the heavy
financial difficulties (things these sovereigns take very seriously to heart), there has not been much "go" in
the court entertainments.
The young set hope great things of the new Princess of Naples, the bride of the heirapparent, a lady who is
credited with being full of fun and life; it is fondly imagined that she will set the ball rolling again. By the
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 36 American Society in Italy 77
Page No 80
bye, her first ladyinwaiting, the young Duchess del Monte of Naples, was an American girl, and a very
pretty one, too. She enjoyed for some time the enviable distinction of being the youngest and handsomest
duchess in Europe, until Miss Vanderbilt married Marlborough and took the record from her. The Prince and
Princess of Naples live at their Neapolitan capital, and will not do much to help things in Rome. Besides
which he is very delicate and passes for not being any too fond of the world.
What makes things worse is that the great nobles are mostly "land poor," and even the richer ones burned
their fingers in the craze for speculation that turned all Rome upside down in the years following 1870 and
Italian unity, when they naively imagined their new capital was to become again after seventeen centuries the
metropolis of the world. Whole quarters of new houses were run up for a population that failed to appear;
these houses now stand empty and are fast going to ruin. So that little in the way of entertaining is to be
expected from the bankrupts. They are a genial race, these Italian nobles, and welcome rich strangers and
marry them with much enthusiasm just a shade too much, perhaps the girl counting for so little and her
DOT for so much in the matrimonial scale. It is only necessary to keep open house to have the pick of the
younger ones as your guests. They will come to entertainments at American houses and bring all their
relations, and dance, and dine, and flirt with great good humor and persistency; but if there is not a good solid
fortune in the background, in the best of securities, the prettiest American smiles never tempt them beyond
flirtation; the season over, they disappear up into their mountain villas to wait for a new importation from the
States.
In Rome, as well as in the other Italian cities, there are, of course, still to be found Americans in some
numbers (where on the Continent will you not find them?), living quietly for study or economy. But they are
not numerous or united enough to form a society; and are apt to be involved in bitter strife among themselves.
Why, you ask, should Americans quarrel among themselves?
Some years ago I was passing the summer months on the Rhine at a tiny German wateringplace, principally
frequented by English, who were all living together in great peace and harmony, until one fatal day, when an
Earl appeared. He was a poor Irish Earl, very simple and unoffending, but he brought war into that town,
heart burnings, envy, and backbiting. The English colony at once divided itself into two camps, those who
knew the Earl and those who did not. And peace fled from our little society. You will find in every foreign
capital among the resident Americans, just such a state of affairs as convulsed that German spa. The native
"swells" have come to be the apple of discord that divides our good people among themselves. Those who
have been successful in knowing the foreigners avoid their compatriots and live with their new friends, while
the other group who, from laziness, disinclination, or principle (?) have remained true to their American
circle, cannot resist calling the others snobs, and laughing (a bit enviously, perhaps) at their upward struggles.
It is the same in Florence. The little there was left of an American society went to pieces on that rock. Our
parents forty years ago seem to me to have been much more selfrespecting and sensible. They knew
perfectly well that there was nothing in common between themselves and the Italian nobility, and that those
good people were not going to put themselves out to make the acquaintance of a lot of strangers, mostly of
another religion, unless it was to be materially to their advantage. So they left them quietly alone. I do not
pretend to judge any one's motives, but confess I cannot help regarding with suspicion a foreigner who leaves
his own circle to mingle with strangers. It resembles too closely the amiabilities of the wolf for the lamb, or
the sudden politeness of a schoolboy to a little girl who has received a box of candies.
CHAPTER 37 The Newport of the Past
FEW of the "carriage ladies and gentlemen" who disport themselves in Newport during the summer months,
yachting and dancing through the short season, then flitting away to fresh fields and pastures new, realize that
their daintily shod feet have been treading historic ground, or care to cast a thought back to the past. Oddly
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 37 The Newport of the Past 78
Page No 81
enough, to the majority of people the past is a volume rarely opened. Not that it bores them to read it, but
because they, like children, want some one to turn over its yellow leaves and point out the pictures to them.
Few of the human motes that dance in the rays of the afternoon sun as they slant across the little Park, think
of the fable which asserts that a seaworn band of adventurous men, centuries before the Cabots or the
Genoese discoverer thought of crossing the Atlantic, had pushed bravely out over untried seas and landed on
this rocky coast. Yet one apparent evidence of their stay tempts our thoughts back to the times when it is said
to have been built as a bower for a king's daughter. Longfellow, in the swinging verse of his "Skeleton in
Armor," breathing of the sea and the Norseman's fatal love, has thrown such a glamour of poetry around the
tower, that one would fain believe all he relates. The hardy Norsemen, if they ever came here, succumbed in
their struggle with the native tribes, or, discouraged by death and hardships, sailed away, leaving the clouds
of oblivion to close again darkly around this continent, and the fog of discussion to circle around the "Old
Mill."
The little settlement of another race, speaking another tongue, that centuries later sprang up in the shadow of
the tower, quickly grew into a busy and prosperous city, which, like New York, its rival, was captured and
held by the English. To walk now through some of its quaint, narrow streets is to step back into
Revolutionary days. Hardly a house has changed since the time when the red coats of the British officers
brightened the prim perspectives, and turned loyal young heads as they passed.
At the corner of Spring and Pelham Streets, still stands the residence of General Prescott, who was carried
away prisoner by his opponents, they having rowed down in whaleboats from Providence for the attack.
Rochambeau, our French ally, lodged lower down in Mary Street. In the tower of Trinity, one can read the
epitaph of the unfortunate Chevalier de Ternay, commander of the sea forces, whose body lies near by. Many
years later his relative, the Duc de Noailles, when Minister to this country, had this simple tablet repaired and
made a visit to the spot.
A long period of prosperity followed the Revolution, during which Newport grew and flourished. Our pious
and Godfearing "forbears," having secured personal and religious liberty, proceeded to inaugurate a most
successful and remunerative trade in rum and slaves. It was a triangular transaction and yielded a threefold
profit. The simple population of that day, numbering less than ten thousand souls, possessed twenty
distilleries; finding it a physical impossibility to drink ALL the rum, they conceived the happy thought of
sending the surplus across to the coast of Africa, where it appears to have been much appreciated by the
native chiefs, who eagerly exchanged the pick of their loyal subjects for that liquid. These poor brutes were
taken to the West Indies and exchanged for sugar, laden with which, the vessels returned to Newport.
Having introduced the dusky chieftains to the charms of delirium tremens and their subjects to lifelong
slavery, one can almost see these pious deacons proceeding to church to offer up thanks for the return of their
successful vessels. Alas! even "the best laid schemes of mice and men" come to an end. The War of 1812, the
opening of the Erie Canal and sundry railways struck a blow at Newport commerce, from which it never
recovered. The city sank into oblivion, and for over thirty years not a house was built there.
It was not until near 1840 that the Middletons and Izzards and other wealthy and aristocratic Southern
families were tempted to Newport by the climate and the facilities it offered for bathing, shooting and
boating. A boardinghouse or two sufficed for the modest wants of the newcomers, first among which stood
the Aquidneck, presided over by kind Mrs. Murray. It was not until some years later, when New York and
Boston families began to appreciate the place, that the first hotels were built, the Atlantic on the square
facing the old mill, the Bellevue and Fillmore on Catherine Street, and finally the original Ocean House,
destroyed by fire in 1845 and rebuilt as we see it today. The croakers of the epoch considered it much too
far out of town to be successful, for at its door the open fields began, a gate there separating the town from
the country across which a straggling, halfmade road, closed by innumerable gates, led along the cliffs and
out across what is now the Ocean Drive. The principal roads at that time led inland; any one wishing to drive
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 37 The Newport of the Past 79
Page No 82
seaward had to descend every two or three minutes to open a gate. The youth of the day discovered a source
of income in opening and closing these for pennies.
Fashion had decreed that the correct hour for dancing was 11 A.M., and MATINEES DANSANTES were
regularly given at the hotels, our grandmothers appearing in DECOLLETE muslin frocks adorned with broad
sashes, and disporting themselves gayly until the dinner hour. Lowneck dresses were the rule, not only for
these informal entertainments, but as everyday wear for young girls, an old lady only the other day telling
me she had never worn a "highbody" until after her marriage. Two o'clock found all the beauties and beaux
dining. How incredulously they would have laughed if any one had prophesied that their grandchildren would
prefer eight forty five as a dinner hour!
The opening of Bellevue Avenue marked another epoch in the history of Newport. About that time Governor
Lawrence bought the whole of Ochre Point farm for fourteen thousand dollars, and Mr. de Rham built on the
newly opened road the first "cottage," which stands today modestly back from the avenue opposite Perry
Street. If houses have souls, as Hawthorne averred, and can remember and compare, what curious thoughts
must pass through the oaken brain of this simple construction as it sees its marble neighbors rearing their vast
facades among trees. The trees, too, are an innovation, for when the de Rham cottage was built and Mrs.
Cleveland opened her new house at the extreme end of Rough Point (the second summer residence in the
place) it is doubtful if a single tree broke the rocky monotony of the landscape from the Ocean House to
Bateman's Point.
Governor Lawrence, having sold one acre of his Ochre Point farm to Mr. Pendleton for the price he himself
had paid for the whole, proceeded to build a stone wall between the two properties down to the water's edge.
The population of Newport had been accustomed to take their Sunday airings and moonlight rambles along
"the cliffs," and viewed this obstruction of their favorite walk with dismay. So strong was their feeling that
when the wall was completed the young men of the town repaired there in the night and tore it down. It was
rebuilt, the mortar being mixed with broken glass. This infuriated the people to such an extent that the whole
populace, in broad daylight, accompanied by the summer visitors, destroyed the wall and threw the materials
into the sea. Lawrence, bent on maintaining what he considered his rights, called the law to his aid. It was
then discovered that an immemorial riverain right gave the fishermen and the public generally, access to the
shore for fishing, and also to collect seaweed, a right of way that no one could obstruct.
This was the beginning of the long struggle between the cliff dwellers and the townspeople; each new
propertyowner, disgusted at the idea that all the world can stroll at will across his wellkept lawns, has in
turn tried his hand at suppressing the now famous "walk." Not only do the public claim the liberty to walk
there, but also the right to cross any property to get to the shore. At this moment the city fathers and the
committee of the new buildings at Bailey's Beach are wrangling as gayly as in Governor Lawrence's day over
a bit of wall lately constructed across the end of Bellevue Avenue. A new expedient has been hit upon by
some of the wouldbe exclusive owners of the cliffs; they have lowered the "walk" out of sight, thus insuring
their own privacy and in no way interfering with the rights of the public.
Among the gentlemen who settled in Newport about Governor Lawrence's time was Lord Baltimore (Mr.
Calvert, he preferred to call himself), who remained there until his death. He was shy of referring to his
English peerage, but would willingly talk of his descent through his mother from Peter Paul Rubens, from
whom had come down to him a chateau in Holland and several splendid paintings. The latter hung in the
parlor of the modest little dwelling, where I was taken to see them and their owner many years ago. My
introducer on this occasion was herself a lady of no ordinary birth, being the daughter of Stuart, our greatest
portrait painter. I have passed many quiet hours in the quaint studio (the same her father had used), hearing
her prattle as she loved to do if she found a sympathetic listener of her father, of Washington and his
pompous ways, and the many celebrities who had in turn posed before Stuart's easel. She had been her
father's companion and aid, present at the sittings, preparing his brushes and colors, and painting in
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 37 The Newport of the Past 80
Page No 83
backgrounds and accessories; and would willingly show his palette and explain his methods and theories of
color, his predilection for scrumbling shadows thinly in black and then painting boldly in with body color.
Her lessons had not profited much to the gentle, kindly old lady, for the productions of her own brush were
far from resembling her great parent's work. She, however, painted cheerfully on to life's close, surrounded
by her many friends, foremost among whom was Charlotte Cushman, who also passed the last years of her
life in Newport. Miss Stuart was over eighty when I last saw her, still full of spirit and vigor, beginning the
portrait of a famous beauty of that day, since the wife and mother of dukes.
Miss Stuart's death seems to close one of the chapters in the history of this city, and to break the last
connecting link with its past. The world moves so quickly that the simple days and modest amusements of
our fathers and grandfathers have already receded into misty remoteness. We look at their portraits and
wonder vaguely at their graceless costumes. We know they trod these same streets, and laughed and flirted
and married as we are doing today, but they seem to us strangely far away, like inhabitants of another
sphere!
It is humiliating to think how soon we, too, shall have become the ancestors of a new and careless generation;
fresh faces will replace our faded ones, young voices will laugh as they look at our portraits hanging in dark
corners, wondering who we were, and (criticising the apparel we think so artistic and appropriate) how we
could ever have made such guys of ourselves.
CHAPTER 38 A Conquest of Europe
THE most important event in modern history is the discovery of Europe by the Americans. Before it, the
peoples of the Old World lived happy and contented in their own countries, practising the patriarchal virtues
handed down to them from generations of forebears, ignoring alike the vices and benefits of modern
civilization, as understood on this side of the Atlantic. The simpleminded Europeans remained at home,
satisfied with the rank in life where they had been born, and innocent of the ways of the new world.
These peoples were, on the whole, not so much to be pitied, for they had many pleasing crafts and arts
unknown to the invaders, which had enabled them to decorate their capitals with taste in a rude way; nothing
really great like the lofty buildings and elevated railway structures, executed in American cities, but
interesting as showing what an ingenious race, deprived of the secrets of modern science, could accomplish.
The more aesthetic of the newcomers even affected to admire the antiquated places of worship and residences
they visited abroad, pointing out to their compatriots that in many cases marble, bronze and other
oldfashioned materials had been so cleverly treated as to look almost like the superior castiron employed at
home, and that some of the old paintings, preserved with veneration in the museums, had nearly the brilliancy
of modern chromos. As their authors had, however, neglected to use a process lending itself to rapid
reproduction, they were of no practical value. In other ways, the continental races, when discovered, were
sadly behind the times. In business, they ignored the use of "corners," that backbone of American trade, and
their ideas of advertising were but little in advance of those known among the ancient Greeks.
The discovery of Europe by the Americans was made about 1850, at which date the first bands of adventurers
crossed the seas in search of amusement. The reports these pioneers brought back of the NAIVETE,
politeness, and gullibility of the natives, and the cheapness of existence in their cities, caused a general
exodus from the western to the eastern hemisphere. Most of the Americans who had used up their credit at
home and those whose incomes were insufficient for their wants, immediately migrated to these happy
hunting grounds, where life was inexpensive and credit unlimited.
The first arrivals enjoyed for some twenty years unique opportunities. They were able to live in splendor for a
pittance that would barely have kept them in necessaries on their own side of the Atlantic, and to pick up
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 38 A Conquest of Europe 81
Page No 84
valuable specimens of native handiwork for nominal sums. In those happy days, to belong to the invading
race was a sufficient passport to the good graces of the Europeans, who asked no other guarantees before
trading with the newcomers, but flocked around them, offering their services and their primitive
manufactures, convinced that Americans were all wealthy.
Alas! History ever repeats itself. As Mexicans and Peruvians, after receiving their conquerors with
confidence and enthusiasm, came to rue the day they had opened their arms to strangers, so the European
peoples, before a quarter of a century was over, realized that the hordes from across the sea who were
overrunning their lands, raising prices, crowding the native students out of the schools, and finally
attempting to force an entrance into society, had little to recommend them or justify their presence except
money. Even in this some of the intruders were unsatisfactory. Those who had been received into the
"bosom" of hotels often forgot to settle before departing. The continental women who had provided the wives
of discoverers with the raiment of the country (a luxury greatly affected by those ladies) found, to their
disgust, that their new customers were often unable or unwilling to offer any remuneration.
In consequence of these and many other disillusions, Americans began to be called the "Destroyers,"
especially when it became known that nothing was too heavy or too bulky to be carried away by the invaders,
who tore the insides from the native houses, the paintings from the walls, the statues from the temples, and
transported this booty across the seas, much in the same way as the Romans had plundered Greece. Elaborate
furniture seemed especially to attract the new arrivals, who acquired vast quantities of it.
Here, however, the wily natives (who were beginning to appreciate their own belongings) had revenge.
Immense quantities of worthless imitations were secretly manufactured and sold to the travellers at fabulous
prices. The same artifice was used with paintings, said to be by great masters, and with imitations of old
stuffs and bric abrac, which the ignorant and arrogant invaders pretended to appreciate and collect.
Previous to our arrival there had been an invasion of the Continent by the English about the year 1812. One
of their historians, called Thackeray, gives an amusing account of this in the opening chapters of his "Shabby
Genteel Story." That event, however, was unimportant in comparison with the great American movement,
although both were characterized by the same total disregard of the feelings and prejudices of indigenous
populations. The English then walked about the continental churches during divine service, gazing at the
pictures and consulting their guidebooks as unconcernedly as our compatriots do today. They also
crowded into theatres and concert halls, and afterwards wrote to the newspapers complaining of the bad
atmosphere of those primitive establishments and of the long ENTR'ACTES.
As long as the invaders confined themselves to such trifles, the patient foreigners submitted to their
overbearing and uncouth ways because of the supposed benefit to trade. The natives even went so far as to
build hotels for the accommodation and delight of the invaders, abandoning whole quarters to their guests.
There was, however, a point at which complacency stopped. The older civilizations had formed among
themselves restricted and exclusive societies, to which access was almost impossible to strangers. These
sanctuaries tempted the immigrants, who offered their fairest virgins and much treasure for the privilege of
admission. The indigenous aristocrats, who were mostly poor, yielded to these offers and a few Americans
succeeded in forcing an entrance. But the old nobility soon became frightened at the number and vulgarity of
the invaders, and withdrew severely into their shells, refusing to accept any further bribes either in the form
of females or finance.
From this moment dates the humiliation of the discoverers. All their booty and plunder seemed worthless in
comparison with the Elysian delights they imagined were concealed behind the closed doors of those holy
places, visions of which tortured the women from the western hemisphere and prevented their taking any
pleasure in other victories. To be received into those inner circles became their chief ambition. With this end
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 38 A Conquest of Europe 82
Page No 85
in view they dressed themselves in expensive costumes, took the trouble to learn the "lingo" spoken in the
country, went to the extremity of copying the ways of the native women by painting their faces, and in one or
two cases imitated the laxity of their morals.
In spite of these concessions, our women were not received with enthusiasm. On the contrary, the very name
of an American became a byword and an abomination in every continental city. This prejudice against us
abroad is hardly to be wondered at on reflecting what we have done to acquire it. The agents chosen by our
government to treat diplomatically with the conquered nations, owe their selection to political motives rather
than to their tact or fitness. In the large majority of cases men are sent over who know little either of the
habits or languages prevailing in Europe.
The worst elements always follow in the wake of discovery. Our settlements abroad gradually became the
abode of the compromised, the divorced, the socially and financially bankrupt.
Within the last decade we have found a way to revenge the slights put upon us, especially those offered to
Americans in the capital of Gaul. Having for the moment no playwrights of our own, the men who concoct
dramas, comedies, and burlesques for our stage find, instead of wearying themselves in trying to produce
original matter, that it is much simpler to adapt from French writers. This has been carried to such a length
that entire French plays are now produced in New York signed by American names.
The great French playwrights can protect themselves by taking out American copyright, but if one of them
omits this formality, the "conquerors" immediately seize upon his work and translate it, omitting intentionally
all mention of the real author on their programmes. This season a play was produced of which the first act
was taken from Guy de Maupassant, the second and third "adapted" from Sardou, with episodes introduced
from other authors to brighten the mixture. The piece thus patched together is signed by a wellknown
AngloSaxon name, and accepted by our moral public, although the original of the first act was stopped by
the Parisian police as too immoral for that gay capital.
Of what use would it be to "discover" a new continent unless the explorers were to reap some such benefits?
Let us take every advantage that our proud position gives us, plundering the foreign authors, making penal
settlements of their capitals, and ignoring their foolish customs and prejudices when we travel among them!
In this way shall we effectually impress on the inferior races across the Atlantic the greatness of the
American nation.
CHAPTER 39 A Race of Slaves
IT is all very well for us to have invaded Europe, and awakened that somnolent continent to the lights and
delights of American ways; to have beautified the cities of the old world with graceful trolleys and
illuminated the catacombs at Rome with electricity. Every true American must thrill with satisfaction at these
achievements, and the knowledge that he belongs to a dominating race, before which the waning civilization
of Europe must fade away and disappear.
To have discovered Europe and to rule as conquerors abroad is well, but it is not enough, if we are led in
chains at home. It is recorded of a certain ambitious captain whose "Commentaries" made our schooldays a
burden, that "he preferred to be the first in a village rather than second at Rome." Oddly enough, WE are
contented to be slaves in our villages while we are conquerors in Rome. Can it be that the struggles of our
ancestors for freedom were fought in vain? Did they throw off the yoke of kings, cross the Atlantic, found a
new form of government on a new continent, break with traditions, and sign a declaration of independence,
only that we should succumb, a century later, yielding the fruits of their hardfought battles with craven
supineness into the hands of corporations and municipalities; humbly bowing necks that refuse to bend before
anointed sovereigns, to the will of steamboat subordinates, the insolence of bediamonded hotelclerks, and
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 39 A Race of Slaves 83
Page No 86
the captious conductor?
Last week my train from Washington arrived in Jersey City on time. We scurried (like good Americans) to
the ferryboat, hot and tired and anxious to get to our destination; a hope deferred, however, for our boat was
kept waiting forty long minutes, because, forsooth, another train from somewhere in the South was behind
time. Expostulations were in vain. Being only the paying public, we had no rights that those autocrats, the
officials, were bound to respect. The argument that if they knew the southern train to be so much behind, the
ferryboat would have plenty of time to take us across and return, was of no avail, so, like a cargo of
"moocows" (as the children say), we submitted meekly. In order to make the time pass more pleasantly for
the two hundred people gathered on the boat, a dusky potentate judged the moment appropriate to scrub the
cabin floors. So, aided by a couple of subordinates, he proceeded to deluge the entire place in floods of water,
obliging us to sit with our feet tucked up under us, splashing the ladies' skirts and our wraps and belongings.
Such treatment of the public would have raised a riot anywhere but in this land of freedom. Do you suppose
any one murmured? Not at all. The welltrained public had the air of being in church. My neighbors
appeared astonished at my impatience, and informed me that they were often detained in that way, as the
company was short of boats, but they hoped to have a new one in a year or two. This detail did not prevent
that corporation advertising our train to arrive in New York at threethirteen, instead of which we landed at
four o'clock. If a similar breach of contract had happened in England, a dozen letters would have appeared in
the "Times," and the grievance been well aired.
Another infliction to which all who travel in America are subjected is the brushing atrocity. Twenty minutes
before a train arrives at its destination, the despot who has taken no notice of any one up to this moment,
except to snub them, becomes suspiciously attentive and insists on brushing everybody. The dirt one traveller
has been accumulating is sent in clouds into the faces of his neighbors. When he is polished off and has paid
his "quarter" of tribute, the next man gets up, and the dirt is then brushed back on to number one, with
number two's collection added.
Labiche begins one of his plays with two servants at work in a salon. "Dusting," says one of them, "is the art
of sending the dirt from the chair on the right over to the sofa on the left." I always think of that remark when
I see the process performed in a parlor car, for when it is over we are all exactly where we began. If a man
should shampoo his hair, or have his boots cleaned in a salon, he would be ejected as a boor; yet the idea
apparently never enters the heads of those who soil and choke their fellow passengers that the brushing
might be done in the vestibule.
On the subject of fresh air and heat we are also in the hands of officials, dozens of passengers being made to
suffer for the caprices of one of their number, or the taste of some captious invalid. In other lands the rights of
minorities are often ignored. With us it is the contrary. One sniffling schoolgirl who prefers a temperature of
80 degrees can force a car full of people to swelter in an atmosphere that is death to them, because she refuses
either to put on her wraps or to have a window opened.
Street railways are torturechambers where we slaves are made to suffer in another way. You must begin to
reel and plunge towards the door at least two blocks before your destination, so as to leap to the ground when
the car slows up; otherwise the conductor will be offended with you, and carry you several squares too far, or
with a jocose "Step lively," will grasp your elbow and shoot you out. Any one who should sit quietly in his
place until the vehicle had come to a full stop, would be regarded by the slavedriver and his cargo as a
POSEUR who was assuming airs.
The idea that cars and boats exist for the convenience of the public was exploded long ago. We are made,
dozens of times a day, to feel that this is no longer the case. It is, on the contrary, brought vividly home to us
that such conveyances are money making machines in the possession of powerful corporations (to whom we,
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 39 A Race of Slaves 84
Page No 87
in our debasement, have handed over the freedom of our streets and rivers), and are run in the interest and at
the discretion of their owners.
It is not only before the great and the powerful that we bow in submission. The shopgirl is another tyrant
who has planted her foot firmly on the neck of the nation. She respects neither sex nor age. Ensconced behind
the bulwark of her counter, she scorns to notice humble aspirants until they have performed a preliminary
penance; a time she fills up in cheerful conversation addressed to other young tyrants, only deciding to notice
customers when she sees their last grain of patience is exhausted. She is often of a merry mood, and if
anything about your appearance or manner strikes her critical sense as amusing, will laugh gayly with her
companions at your expense.
A French gentleman who speaks our language correctly but with some accent, told me that he found it
impossible to get served in our stores, the shopgirls bursting with laughter before he could make his wants
known.
Not long ago I was at the Compagnie Lyonnaise in Paris with a stout American lady, who insisted on tipping
her chair forward on its front legs as she selected some laces. Suddenly the chair flew from under her, and she
sat violently on the polished floor in an attitude so supremely comic that the rest of her party were inwardly
convulsed. Not a muscle moved in the faces of the well trained clerks. The proprietor assisted her to rise as
gravely as if he were bowing us to our carriage.
In restaurants American citizens are treated even worse than in the shops. You will see cowed customers who
are anxious to get away to their business or pleasure sitting mutely patient, until a waiter happens to
remember their orders. I do not know a single establishment in this city where the waiters take any notice of
their customers' arrival, or where the proprietor comes, toward the end of the meal, to inquire if the dishes
have been cooked to their taste. The interest so general on the Continent or in England is replaced here by the
same air of being disturbed from more important occupations, that characterizes the shopgirl and elevator
boy.
Numbers of our people live apparently in awe of their servants and the opinion of the tradespeople. One
middleaged lady whom I occasionally take to the theatre, insists when we arrive at her door on my
accompanying her to the elevator, in order that the youth who presides therein may see that she has an escort,
the opinion of this subordinate apparently being of supreme importance to her. One of our "gilded youths"
recently told me of a thrilling adventure in which he had figured. At the moment he was passing under an
awning on his way to a reception, a gust of wind sent his hat gambolling down the block. "Think what a
situation," he exclaimed. "There stood a group of my friends' footmen watching me. But I was equal to the
situation and entered the house as if nothing had happened!" Sir Walter Raleigh sacrificed a cloak to please a
queen. This youth abandoned a new hat, fearing the laughter of a halfdozen servants.
One of the reasons why we have become so weak in the presence of our paid masters is that nowhere is the
individual allowed to protest. The other night a friend who was with me at a theatre considered the acting
inferior, and expressed his opinion by hissing. He was promptly ejected by a policeman. The man next me
was, on the contrary, so pleased with the piece that he encored every song. I had paid to see the piece once,
and rebelled at being obliged to see it twice to suit my neighbor. On referring the matter to the boxoffice,
the caliph in charge informed me that the slaves he allowed to enter his establishment (like those who in other
days formed the court of Louis XIV.) were permitted to praise, but were suppressed if they murmured
dissent. In his MEMOIRES, Dumas, PERE, tells of a "first night" when three thousand people applauded a
play of his and one spectator hissed. "He was the only one I respected," said Dumas, "for the piece was bad,
and that criticism spurred me on to improve it."
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 39 A Race of Slaves 85
Page No 88
How can we hope for any improvement in the standard of our entertainments, the manners of our servants or
the ways of corporations when no one complains? We are too much in a hurry to follow up a grievance and
have it righted. "It doesn't pay," "I haven't got the time," are phrases with which all such subjects are
dismissed. We will sit in overheated cars, eat vilely cooked food, put up with insolence from subordinates,
because it is too much trouble to assert our rights. Is the spirit that prompted the first shots on Lexington
Common becoming extinct? Have the floods of emigration so diluted our AngloSaxon blood that we no
longer care to fight for liberty? Will no patriot arise and lead a revolt against our tyrants?
I am prepared to follow such a leader, and have already marked my prey. First, I will slay a certain miscreant
who sits at the receipt of customs in the boxoffice of an uptown theatre. For years I have tried to propitiate
that satrap with modest politeness and feeble little jokes. He has never been softened by either, but continues
to "chuck" the worst places out to me (no matter how early I arrive, the best have always been given to the
speculators), and to frown down my attempts at selfassertion.
When I have seen this enemy at my feet, I shall start down town (stopping on the way to brain the teller at my
bank, who is perennially paring his nails, and refuses to see me until that operation is performed), to the
office of a nightboat line, where the clerk has so often forced me, with hundreds of other weary victims, to
stand in line like convicts, while he chats with a "lady friend," his back turned to us and his leg comfortably
thrown over the arm of his chair. Then I will take my bloodstained way but, no! It is better not to put my
victims on their guard, but to abide my time in silence! Courage, fellowslaves, our day will come!
CHAPTER 40 Introspection *
THE close of a year must bring even to the careless and the least inclined toward selfinspection, an hour of
thoughtfulness, a desire to glance back across the past, and set one's mental house in order, before starting out
on another stage of the journey for that none too distant bourne toward which we all are moving.
* December thirtyfirst, 1888.
Our minds are like solitary dwellers in a vast residence, whom habit has accustomed to live in a few only of
the countless chambers around them. We have collected from other parts of our lives mental furniture and
bricabrac that time and association have endeared to us, have installed these meagre belongings convenient
to our hand, and contrived an entrance giving facile access to our livingrooms, avoiding the effort of a long
detour through the echoing corridors and disused salons behind. No acquaintances, and but few friends,
penetrate into the private chambers of our thoughts. We set aside a common room for the reception of
visitors, making it as cheerful as circumstances will allow and take care that the conversation therein rarely
turns on any subject more personal than the view from the windows or the prophecies of the barometer.
In the oldfashioned brick palace at Kensington, a little suite of rooms is carefully guarded from the public
gaze, swept, garnished and tended as though the occupants of long ago were hourly expected to return. The
early years of England's aged sovereign were passed in these simple apartments and by her orders they have
been kept unchanged, the furniture and decorations remaining today as when she inhabited them. In one
corner, is assembled a group of dolls, dressed in the quaint finery of 1825. A set of miniature cooking utensils
stands near by. A child's scrapbooks and colorboxes lie on the tables. In one sunny chamber stands the
little whitedraped bed where the heiress to the greatest crown on earth dreamed her childish dreams, and
from which she was hastily aroused one June morning to be saluted as Queen. So homelike and livable an air
pervades the place, that one almost expects to see the lonely little girl of seventy years ago playing about the
unpretending chambers.
Affection for the past and a reverence for the memory of the dead have caused the royal wife and mother to
preserve with the same care souvenirs of her passage in other royal residences. The apartments that sheltered
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 40 Introspection * 86
Page No 89
the first happy months of her wedded life, the rooms where she knew the joys and anxieties of maternity,
have become for her consecrated sanctuaries, where the widowed, broken old lady comes on certain
anniversaries to evoke the unforgotten past, to meditate and to pray.
Who, as the year is drawing to its close, does not open in memory some such sacred portal, and sit down in
the familiar rooms to live over again the old hopes and fears, thrilling anew with the joys and temptations of
other days? Yet, each year these pilgrimages into the past must become more and more lonely journeys; the
friends whom we can take by the hand and lead back to our old homes become fewer with each decade. It
would be a useless sacrilege to force some listless acquaintance to accompany us. He would not hear the
voices that call to us, or see the loved faces that people the silent passages, and would wonder what attraction
we could find in the stuffy, oldfashioned quarters.
Many people have such a dislike for any mental privacy that they pass their lives in public, or surrounded
only by sporting trophies and games. Some enjoy living in their pantries, composing for themselves succulent
dishes, and interested in the doings of the servants, their companions. Others have turned their salons into
nurseries, or feel a predilection for the stable and the dog kennels. Such people soon weary of their
surroundings, and move constantly, destroying, when they leave old quarters, all the objects they had
collected.
The men and women who have thus curtailed their belongings are, however, quite contented with themselves.
No doubts ever harass them as to the commodity or appropriateness of their lodgements and look with pity
and contempt on friends who remain faithful to old habitations. The drawback to a migratory existence,
however, is the fact that, as a French saying has put it, CEUX QUI SE REFUSENT LES PENSEES
SERIEUSES TOMBENT DANS LES IDEES NOIRES. These people are surprised to find as the years go by
that the futile amusements to which they have devoted themselves do not fill to their satisfaction all the hours
of a lifetime. Having provided no books nor learned to practise any art, the time hangs heavily on their hands.
They dare not look forward into the future, so blank and cheerless does it appear. The past is even more
distasteful to them. So, to fill the void in their hearts, they hurry out into the crowd as a refuge from their own
thoughts.
Happy those who care to revisit old abodes, childhood's remote wing, and the moonlit porches where they
knew the rapture of a firstlove whisper. Who can enter the chapel where their dead lie, and feel no blush of
selfreproach, nor burning consciousness of broken faith nor wasted opportunities? The new year will bring
to them as near an approach to perfect happiness as can be attained in life's journey. The fortunate mortals are
rare who can, without a heartache or regret, pass through their disused and abandoned dwellings; who dare to
open every door and enter all the silent rooms; who do not hurry shudderingly by some obscure corners, and
return with a sigh of relief to the cheerful sunlight and murmurs of the present.
Sleepless midnight hours come inevitably to each of us, when the creaking gates of subterranean passages far
down in our consciousness open of themselves, and ghostly inhabitants steal out of awful vaults and force us
to look again into their faces and touch their unhealed wounds.
An old lady whose cheerfulness under a hundred griefs and tribulations was a marvel and an example, once
told a man who had come to her for counsel in a moment of bitter trouble, that she had derived comfort when
difficulties loomed big around her by writing down all her cares and worries, making a list of the subjects that
harassed her, and had always found that, when reduced to material written words, the dimensions of her
troubles were astonishingly diminished. She recommended her procedure to the troubled youth, and
prophesied that his anxieties would dwindle away in the clear atmosphere of pen and paper.
Introspection, the deliberate unlatching of closed wickets, has the same effect of stealing away the bitterness
from thoughts that, if left in the gloom of semioblivion, will grow until they overshadow a whole life. It is
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 40 Introspection * 87
Page No 90
better to follow the example of England's pure Queen, visiting on certain anniversaries our secret places and
holding communion with the past, for it is by such scrutiny only
THAT MEN MAY RISE ON STEPPINGSTONES
OF THEIR DEAD SELVES TO HIGHER THINGS.
Those who have courage to perform thoroughly this task will come out from the silent chambers purified and
chastened, more lenient to the faults and shortcomings of others, and better fitted to take up cheerfully the
burdens of a new year.
Worldly Ways and Byways
CHAPTER 40 Introspection * 88
Bookmarks
1. Table of Contents, page = 3
2. Worldly Ways and Byways, page = 4
3. Eliot Gregory, page = 4
4. To the Reader, page = 5
5. CHAPTER 1 - Charm, page = 6
6. CHAPTER 2 - The Moth and the Star, page = 8
7. CHAPTER 3 - Contrasted Travelling, page = 10
8. CHAPTER 4 - The Outer and the Inner Woman, page = 12
9. CHAPTER 5 - On Some Gilded Misalliances, page = 14
10. CHAPTER 6 - The Complacency of Mediocrity, page = 17
11. CHAPTER 7 - The Discontent of Talent, page = 19
12. CHAPTER 8 - Slouch, page = 21
13. CHAPTER 9 - Social Suggestion, page = 23
14. CHAPTER 10 - Bohemia, page = 26
15. CHAPTER 11 - Social Exiles, page = 28
16. CHAPTER 12 - "Seven Ages" of Furniture, page = 30
17. CHAPTER 13 - Our Elite and Public Life, page = 32
18. CHAPTER 14 - The Small Summer Hotel, page = 34
19. CHAPTER 15 - A False Start, page = 36
20. CHAPTER 16 - A Holy Land, page = 38
21. CHAPTER 17 - Royalty At Play, page = 40
22. CHAPTER 18 - A Rock Ahead, page = 42
23. CHAPTER 19 - The Grand Prix, page = 44
24. CHAPTER 20 - "The Treadmill.", page = 46
25. CHAPTER 21 - "Like Master Like Man.", page = 48
26. CHAPTER 22 - An English Invasion of the Riviera, page = 50
27. CHAPTER 23 - A Common Weakness, page = 52
28. CHAPTER 24 - Changing Paris, page = 54
29. CHAPTER 25 - Contentment, page = 56
30. CHAPTER 26 - The Climber, page = 58
31. CHAPTER 27 - The Last of the Dandies, page = 60
32. CHAPTER 28 - A Nation on the Wing, page = 61
33. CHAPTER 29 - Husks, page = 64
34. CHAPTER 30 - The Faubourg of St. Germain, page = 67
35. CHAPTER 31 - Men's Manners, page = 70
36. CHAPTER 32 - An Ideal Hostess, page = 71
37. CHAPTER 33 - The Introducer, page = 73
38. CHAPTER 34 - A Question and an Answer, page = 75
39. CHAPTER 35 - Living on your Friends, page = 77
40. CHAPTER 36 - American Society in Italy, page = 79
41. CHAPTER 37 - The Newport of the Past, page = 81
42. CHAPTER 38 - A Conquest of Europe, page = 84
43. CHAPTER 39 - A Race of Slaves, page = 86
44. CHAPTER 40 - Introspection *, page = 89