Title:   Worldly Ways and Byways

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Author:   Eliot Gregory

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Worldly Ways and Byways

Eliot Gregory



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Table of Contents

Worldly Ways and Byways................................................................................................................................1

Eliot Gregory...........................................................................................................................................1

To the Reader ...........................................................................................................................................2

CHAPTER 1  Charm.............................................................................................................................3

CHAPTER 2  The Moth and the Star....................................................................................................5

CHAPTER 3  Contrasted Travelling.....................................................................................................7

CHAPTER 4  The Outer and the Inner Woman ....................................................................................9

CHAPTER 5  On Some Gilded Misalliances ......................................................................................11

CHAPTER 6  The Complacency of Mediocrity ..................................................................................14

CHAPTER 7  The Discontent of Talent ..............................................................................................16

CHAPTER 8  Slouch ...........................................................................................................................18

CHAPTER 9  Social Suggestion.........................................................................................................20

CHAPTER 10  Bohemia ......................................................................................................................23

CHAPTER 11  Social Exiles...............................................................................................................25

CHAPTER 12  "Seven Ages" of Furniture ..........................................................................................27

CHAPTER 13  Our Elite and Public Life ............................................................................................29

CHAPTER 14  The Small Summer Hotel...........................................................................................31

CHAPTER 15  A False Start...............................................................................................................33

CHAPTER 16  A Holy Land ...............................................................................................................35

CHAPTER 17  Royalty At Play..........................................................................................................37

CHAPTER 18  A Rock Ahead............................................................................................................39

CHAPTER 19  The Grand Prix...........................................................................................................41

CHAPTER 20  "The Treadmill." .........................................................................................................43

CHAPTER 21  "Like Master Like Man." ............................................................................................45

CHAPTER 22  An English Invasion of the Riviera............................................................................47

CHAPTER 23  A Common Weakness................................................................................................49

CHAPTER 24  Changing Paris...........................................................................................................51

CHAPTER 25  Contentment...............................................................................................................53

CHAPTER 26  The Climber ................................................................................................................55

CHAPTER 27  The Last of the Dandies ..............................................................................................57

CHAPTER 28  A Nation on the Wing................................................................................................58

CHAPTER 29  Husks..........................................................................................................................61

CHAPTER 30  The Faubourg of St. Germain .....................................................................................64

CHAPTER 31  Men's Manners...........................................................................................................67

CHAPTER 32  An Ideal Hostess .........................................................................................................68

CHAPTER 33  The Introducer............................................................................................................70

CHAPTER 34  A Question and an Answer .........................................................................................72

CHAPTER 35  Living on your Friends...............................................................................................74

CHAPTER 36  American Society in Italy ...........................................................................................76

CHAPTER 37  The Newport of the Past .............................................................................................78

CHAPTER 38  A Conquest of Europe................................................................................................81

CHAPTER 39  A Race of Slaves........................................................................................................83

CHAPTER 40  Introspection * ............................................................................................................86


Worldly Ways and Byways

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Worldly Ways and Byways

Eliot Gregory

1. Charm 

2. The Moth and the Star 

3. Contrasted Travelling 

4. The Outer and the Inner Woman 

5. On Some Gilded Misalliances 

6. The Complacency of Mediocrity 

7. The Discontent of Talent 

8. Slouch 

9. Social Suggestion 

10. Bohemia 

11. Social Exiles 

12. "Seven Ages" of Furniture 

13. Our Elite and Public Life 

14. The Small Summer Hotel 

15. A False Start 

16. A Holy Land 

17. Royalty at Play 

18. A Rock Ahead 

19. The Grand Prix 

20. "The Treadmill" 

21. "Like Master Like Man" 

22. An English Invasion of the Riviera 

23. A Common Weakness 

24. Changing Paris 

25. Contentment 

26. The Climber 

27. The Last of the Dandies 

28. A Nation on the Wing 

29. Husks 

30. The Faubourg St. Germain 

31. Men's Manners 

32. An Ideal Hostess 

33. The Introducer 

34. A Question and an Answer 

35. Living on Your Friends 

36. American Society in Italy 

37. The Newport of the Past 

38. A Conquest of Europe 

39. A Race of Slaves 

40. Introspection  

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To the Reader

THERE existed formerly, in diplomatic circles, a curious custom, since fallen into disuse, entitled the Pele

Mele, contrived doubtless by some distracted Master of Ceremonies to quell the endless jealousies and

quarrels for precedence between courtiers and diplomatists of contending pretensions. Under this rule no rank

was recognized, each person being allowed at banquet, fete, or other public ceremony only such place as he

had been ingenious or fortunate enough to obtain.

Any one wishing to form an idea of the confusion that ensued, of the intrigues and expedients resorted to, not

only in procuring prominent places, but also in ensuring the integrity of the Pele Mele, should glance over the

amusing memoirs of M. de Segur.

The aspiring nobles and ambassadors, harassed by this constant preoccupation, had little time or inclination

left for any serious pursuit, since, to take a moment's repose or an hour's breathing space was to risk falling

behind in the endless and aimless race. Strange as it may appear, the knowledge that they owed place and

preferment more to chance or intrigue than to any personal merit or inherited right, instead of lessening the

value of the prizes for which all were striving, seemed only to enhance them in the eyes of the competitors.

Success was the unique standard by which they gauged their fellows. Those who succeeded revelled in the

adulation of their friends, but when any one failed, the fickle crowd passed him by to bow at more fortunate

feet.

No better picture could be found of the "world" of today, a perpetual Pele Mele, where such advantages

only are conceded as we have been sufficiently enterprising to obtain, and are strong or clever enough to keep

a constant competition, a daily steeplechase, favorable to daring spirits and personal initiative but with the

defect of keeping frail humanity ever on the qui vive.

Philosophers tell us, that we should seek happiness only in the calm of our own minds, not allowing external

conditions or the opinions of others to influence our ways. This lofty detachment from environment is

achieved by very few. Indeed, the philosophers themselves (who may be said to have invented the art of

"posing") were generally as vain as peacocks, profoundly preoccupied with the verdict of their

contemporaries and their position as regards posterity.

Man is born gregarious and remains all his life a herding animal. As one keen observer has written, "So great

is man's horror of being alone that he will seek the society of those he neither likes nor respects sooner than

be left to his own." The laws and conventions that govern men's intercourse have, therefore, formed a

tempting subject for the writers of all ages. Some have labored hoping to reform their generation, others have

written to offer solutions for life's many problems.

Beaumarchais, whose penetrating wit left few subjects untouched, makes his Figaro put the subject aside with

"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'etre oblige d'en pleurer."

The author of this little volume pretends to settle no disputes, aims at inaugurating no reforms. He has lightly

touched on passing topics and jotted down, "to point a moral or adorn a tale," some of the more obvious

foibles and inconsistencies of our American ways. If a stray bit of philosophy has here and there slipped in

between the lines, it is mostly of the laughing "school," and used more in banter than in blame.

This much abused "world" is a fairly agreeable place if you do not take it seriously. Meet it with a friendly

face and it will smile gayly back at you, but do not ask of it what it cannot give, or attribute to its verdicts

more importance than they deserve.


Worldly Ways and Byways

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ELIOT GREGORY

Newport, November first, 1897

CHAPTER 1  Charm

WOMEN endowed by nature with the indescribable quality we call "charm" (for want of a better word), are

the supreme development of a perfected race, the last word, as it were, of civilization; the flower of their

kind, crowning centuries of growing refinement and cultivation. Other women may unite a thousand brilliant

qualities, and attractive attributes, may be beautiful as Astarte or witty as Madame de Montespan, those

endowed with the power of charm, have in all ages and under every sky, held undisputed rule over the hearts

of their generation.

When we look at the portraits of the enchantresses whom history tells us have ruled the world by their charm,

and swayed the destinies of empires at their fancy, we are astonished to find that they have rarely been

beautiful. From Cleopatra or Mary of Scotland down to Lola Montez, the telltale coin or canvas reveals the

same marvellous fact. We wonder how these women attained such influence over the men of their day, their

husbands or lovers. We would do better to look around us, or inward, and observe what is passing in our own

hearts.

Pause, reader mine, a moment and reflect. Who has held the first place in your thoughts, filled your soul, and

influenced your life? Was she the most beautiful of your acquaintances, the radiant vision that dazzled your

boyish eyes? Has she not rather been some gentle, quiet woman whom you hardly noticed the first time your

paths crossed, but who gradually grew to be a part of your life  to whom you instinctively turned for

consolation in moments of discouragement, for counsel in your difficulties, and whose welcome was the

bright moment in your day, looked forward to through long hours of toil and worry?

In the hurlyburly of life we lose sight of so many things our fathers and mothers clung to, and have drifted

so far away from their gentle customs and simple, homeloving habits, that one wonders what impression our

society would make on a woman of a century ago, could she by some spell be dropped into the swing of

modern days. The good soul would be apt to find it rather a far cry from the quiet pleasures of her youth, to

"a ladies' amateur bicycle race" that formed the attraction recently at a summer resort.

That we should have come to think it natural and proper for a young wife and mother to pass her mornings at

golf, lunching at the club house to "save time," returning home only for a hurried change of toilet to start

again on a bicycle or for a round of calls, an occupation that will leave her just the halfhour necessary to slip

into a dinner gown, and then for her to pass the evening in dancing or at the cardtable, shows, when one

takes the time to think of it, how unconsciously we have changed, and (with all apologies to the gay hostesses

and graceful athletes of today) not for the better.

It is just in the subtle quality of charm that the women of the last ten years have fallen away from their elder

sisters. They have been carried along by a love of sport, and by the set of fashion's tide, not stopping to ask

themselves whither they are floating. They do not realize all the importance of their acts nor the true meaning

of their metamorphosis.

The dear creatures should be content, for they have at last escaped from the bondage of ages, have broken

their chains, and vaulted over their prison walls. "Lords and masters" have gradually become very humble

and obedient servants, and the "love, honour, and obey" of the marriage service might now more logically be

spoken by the man; on the lips of the women of today it is but a graceful "FACON DE PARLER," and

holds only those who choose to be bound.


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It is not my intention to rail against the shortcomings of the day. That ungrateful task I leave to sterner

moralists, and hopeful souls who naively imagine they can stem the current of an epoch with the barrier of

their eloquence, or sweep back an ocean of innovations by their logic. I should like, however, to ask my

sisters one question: Are they quite sure that women gain by these changes? Do they imagine, these "sporty"

young females in short cut skirts and mannish shirts and ties, that it is seductive to a lover, or a husband to

see his idol in a violent perspiration, her draggled hair blowing across a sunburned face, panting up a long hill

in front of him on a bicycle, frantic at having lost her race? Shade of gentle William! who said

A woman moved, is like a fountain troubled,  Muddy, illseeming, thick, bereft of beauty. And while it is

so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.

Is the modern girl under the impression that men will be contented with poor imitations of themselves, to

share their homes and be the mothers of their children? She is throwing away the substance for the shadow!

The moment women step out from the sanctuary of their homes, the glamour that girlhood or maternity has

thrown around them cast aside, that moment will they cease to rule mankind. Women may agitate until they

have obtained political recognition, but will awake from their foolish dream of power, realizing too late what

they have sacrificed to obtain it, that the price has been very heavy, and the fruit of their struggles bitter on

their lips.

There are few men, I imagine, of my generation to whom the words "home" and "mother" have not a

penetrating charm, who do not look back with softened heart and tender thoughts to fireside scenes of

evening readings and twilight talks at a mother's knee, realizing that the best in their natures owes its growth

to these influences.

I sometimes look about me and wonder what the word "mother" will mean later, to modern little boys. It will

evoke, I fear, a confused remembrance of some centaurlike being, half woman, half wheel, or as it did to

neglected little Rawdon Crawley, the vision of a radiant creature in gauze and jewels, driving away to endless

FETES  FETES followed by long mornings, when he was told not to make any noise, or play too loudly, "as

poor mamma is resting." What other memories can the "successful" woman of today hope to leave in the

minds of her children? If the child remembers his mother in this way, will not the man who has known and

perhaps loved her, feel the same sensation of empty futility when her name is mentioned?

The woman who proposes a game of cards to a youth who comes to pass an hour in her society, can hardly

expect him to carry away a particularly tender memory of her as he leaves the house. The girl who has rowed,

ridden, or raced at a man's side for days, with the object of getting the better of him at some sport or pastime,

cannot reasonably hope to be connected in his thoughts with ideas more tender or more elevated than "odds"

or "handicaps," with an undercurrent of pique if his unsexed companion has "downed" him successfully.

What man, unless he be singularly dissolute or unfortunate, but turns his steps, when he can, towards some

dainty parlor where he is sure of finding a smiling, softvoiced woman, whose welcome he knows will

soothe his irritated nerves and restore the even balance of his temper, whose charm will work its subtle way

into his troubled spirit? The wife he loves, or the friend he admires and respects, will do more for him in one

such quiet hour when two minds commune, coming closer to the real man, and moving him to braver efforts,

and nobler aims, than all the beauties and "sporty" acquaintances of a lifetime. No matter what a man's

education or taste is, none are insensible to such an atmosphere or to the grace and witchery a woman can

lend to the simplest surroundings. She need not be beautiful or brilliant to hold him in lifelong allegiance, if

she but possess this magnetism.

Madame Recamier was a beautiful, but not a brilliant woman, yet she held men her slaves for years. To know

her was to fall under her charm, and to feel it once was to remain her adorer for life. She will go down to


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history as the type of a fascinating woman. Being asked once by an acquaintance what spell she worked on

mankind that enabled her to hold them for ever at her feet, she laughingly answered:

"I have always found two words sufficient. When a visitor comes into my salon, I say, 'ENFIN!' and when he

gets up to go away, I say, 'DEJA!' "

"What is this wonderful 'charm' he is writing about?" I hear some sprightly maiden inquire as she reads these

lines. My dear young lady, if you ask the question, you have judged yourself and been found wanting. But to

satisfy you as far as I can, I will try and define it  not by telling you what it is; that is beyond my power 

but by negatives, the only way in which subtle subjects can be approached.

A woman of charm is never flustered and never DISTRAITE. She talks little, and rarely of herself,

remembering that bores are persons who insist on talking about themselves. She does not break the thread of

a conversation by irrelevant questions or confabulate in an undertone with the servants. No one of her guests

receives more of her attention than another and none are neglected. She offers to each one who speaks the

homage of her entire attention. She never makes an effort to be brilliant or entertain with her wit. She is far

too clever for that. Neither does she volunteer information nor converse about her troubles or her ailments,

nor wander off into details about people you do not know.

She is all things  to each man she likes, in the best sense of that phrase, appreciating his qualities,

stimulating him to better things.

for his gayer hours She has a voice of gladness and a smile and eloquence of beauty; and she glides Into his

darker musings with a mild and healing sympathy that steals away Their sharpness ere he is aware.

CHAPTER 2  The Moth and the Star

THE truth of the saying that "it is always the unexpected that happens," receives in this country a

confirmation from an unlooked for quarter, as does the fact of human nature being always, discouragingly,

the same in spite of varied surroundings. This sounds like a paradox, but is an exceedingly simple statement

easily proved.

That the great mass of Americans, drawn as they are from such varied sources, should take any interest in the

comings and goings or social doings of a small set of wealthy and fashionable people, is certainly an

unexpected development. That to read of the amusements and home life of a clique of people with whom they

have little in common, whose whole education and point of view are different from their own, and whom they

have rarely seen and never expect to meet, should afford the average citizen any amusement seems little short

of impossible.

One accepts as a natural sequence that abroad (where an hereditary nobility have ruled for centuries, and

accustomed the people to look up to them as the visible embodiment of all that is splendid and unattainable in

life) such interest should exist. That the homecoming of an English or French nobleman to his estates should

excite the enthusiasm of hundreds more or less dependent upon him for their amusement or more material

advantages; that his marriage to an heiress  meaning to them the reopening of a longclosed CHATEAU

and the beginning of a period of prosperity for the district  should excite his neighbors is not to be wondered

at.

It is well known that whole regions have been made prosperous by the residence of a court, witness the

wealth and trade brought into Scotland by the Queen's preference for "the Land of Cakes," and the discontent

and poverty in Ireland from absenteeism and persistent avoidance of that country by the court. But in this

land, where every reason for interesting one class in another seems lacking, that thousands of welltodo


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people (half the time not born in this hemisphere), should delightedly devour columns of incorrect

information about New York dances and Lenox houseparties, winter cruises, or Newport coaching parades,

strikes the observer as the "unexpected" in its purest form.

That this interest exists is absolutely certain. During a trip in the West, some seasons ago, I was

dumbfounded to find that the members of a certain New York set were familiarly spoken of by their first

names, and was assailed with all sorts of eager questions when it was discovered that I knew them. A certain

young lady, at that time a belle in New York, was currently called SALLY, and a wellknown sportsman

FRED, by thousands of people who had never seen either of them. It seems impossible, does it not? Let us

look a little closer into the reason of this interest, and we shall find how simple is the apparent paradox.

Perhaps in no country, in all the world, do the immense middle classes lead such uninteresting lives, and have

such limited resources at their disposal for amusement or the passing of leisure hours.

Abroad the military bands play constantly in the public parks; the museums and palaces are always open

wherein to pass rainy Sunday afternoons; every village has its religious FETES and local fair, attended with

dancing and games. All these mental relaxations are lacking in our newer civilization; life is stripped of

everything that is not distinctly practical; the dull round of weekly toil is only broken by the duller idleness of

an American Sunday. Naturally, these people long for something outside of themselves and their narrow

sphere.

Suddenly there arises a class whose wealth permits them to break through the iron circle of work and

boredom, who do picturesque and delightful things, which appeal directly to the imagination; they build a

summer residence complete, in six weeks, with furniture and bricabrac, on the top of a roadless mountain;

they sail in fairylike yachts to summer seas, and marry their daughters to the heirs of ducal houses; they float

up the Nile in dahabeeyah, or pass the "month of flowers" in far Japan.

It is but human nature to delight in reading of these things. Here the great mass of the people find (and

eagerly seize on), the element of romance lacking in their lives, infinitely more enthralling than the doings of

any novel's heroine. It is real! It is taking place! and  still deeper reason  in every ambitious American

heart lingers the secret hope that with luck and good management they too may do those very things, or at

least that their children will enjoy the fortunes they have gained, in just those ways. The gloom of the

monotonous present is brightened, the patient toiler returns to his desk with something definite before him 

an objective point  towards which he can struggle; he knows that this is no impossible dream. Dozens have

succeeded and prove to him what energy and enterprise can accomplish.

Do not laugh at this suggestion; it is far truer than you imagine. Many a weary woman has turned from such

reading to her narrow duties, feeling that life is not all work, and with renewed hope in the possibilities of the

future.

Doubtless a certain amount of purely idle curiosity is mingled with the other feelings. I remember quite well

showing our city sights to a bored party of Western friends, and failing entirely to amuse them, when,

happening to mention as we drove up town, "there goes Mr. Blank," (naming a prominent leader of

cotillions), my guests nearly fell over each other and out of the carriage in their eagerness to see the

gentleman of whom they had read so much, and who was, in those days, a power in his way, and several

times after they expressed the greatest satisfaction at having seen him.

I have found, with rare exceptions, and the experience has been rather widely gathered all over the country,

that this interest  or call it what you will  has been entirely without spite or bitterness, rather the delight of

a child in a fairy story. For people are rarely envious of things far removed from their grasp. You will find

that a woman who is bitter because her neighbor has a girl "help" or a more comfortable cottage, rarely feels


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envy towards the owners of operaboxes or yachts. Such heartburnings (let us hope they are few) are among

a class born in the shadow of great wealth, and bred up with tastes that they can neither relinquish nor satisfy.

The large majority of people show only a goodnatured inclination to chaff, none of the "class feeling" which

certain papers and certain politicians try to excite. Outside of the large cities with their foreignbred, semi

anarchistic populations, the tone is perfectly friendly; for the simple reason that it never entered into the head

of any American to imagine that there WAS any class difference. To him his rich neighbors are simply his

lucky neighbors, almost his relations, who, starting from a common stock, have been able to "get there"

sooner than he has done. So he wishes them luck on the voyage in which he expects to join them as soon as

he has had time to make a fortune.

So long as the world exists, or at least until we have reformed it and adopted Mr. Bellamy's delightful scheme

of existence as described in "Looking Backward," great fortunes will be made, and painful contrasts be seen,

especially in cities, and it would seem to be the duty of the press to soften  certainly not to sharpen  the

edge of discontent. As long as human nature is human nature, and the poor care to read of the doings of the

more fortunate, by all means give them the reading they enjoy and demand, but let it be written in a kindly

spirit so that it may be a cultivation as well as a recreation. Treat this perfectly natural and honest taste

honestly and naturally, for, after all, it is

The desire of the moth for the star, Of the night for the morrow. The devotion to something afar From the

sphere of our sorrow.

CHAPTER 3  Contrasted Travelling

WHEN our parents went to Europe fifty years ago, it was the event of a lifetime  a tour lovingly mapped out

in advance with advice from travelled friends. Passports were procured, books read, wills made, and finally,

prayers were offered up in church and solemn leavetaking performed. Once on the other side, descriptive

letters were conscientiously written, and eagerly read by friends at home,  in spite of these epistles being on

the thinnest of paper and with crossing carried to a fine art, for postage was high in the forties. Above all, a

journal was kept.

Such a journal lies before me as I write. Four little volumes in worn morocco covers and faded "Italian"

writing, more precious than all my other books combined, their sight recalls that lost time  my youth 

when, as a reward, they were unlocked that I might look at the drawings, and the sweetest voice in the world

would read to me from them! Happy, vanished days, that are so far away they seem to have been in another

existence!

The first volume opens with the voyage across the Atlantic, made in an American clipper (a model

unsurpassed the world over), which was accomplished in thirteen days, a feat rarely equalled now, by sail.

Genial Captain Nye was in command. The same who later, when a steam propelled vessel was offered him,

refused, as unworthy of a seaman, "to boil a kettle across the ocean."

Life friendships were made in those little cabins, under the swinging lamp the travellers reread last volumes

so as to be prepared to appreciate everything on landing. Ireland, England and Scotland were visited with an

enthusiasm born of Scott, the tedium of long coaching journeys being beguiled by the first "numbers" of

"Pickwick," over which the men of the party roared, but which the ladies did not care for, thinking it vulgar,

and not to be compared to "Waverley," "Thaddeus of Warsaw," or "The Mysteries of Udolpho."

A circular letter to our diplomatic agents abroad was presented in each city, a rite invariably followed by an

invitation to dine, for which occasions a black satin frock with a low body and a few simple ornaments,

including (supreme elegance) a diamond cross, were carried in the trunks. In London a travelling carriage

was bought and stocked, the indispensable courier engaged, half guide, half servant, who was expected to


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explore a city, or wait at table, as occasion required. Four days were passed between Havre and Paris, and the

slow progress across Europe was accomplished, Murray in one hand and Byron in the other.

One page used particularly to attract my boyish attention. It was headed by a naive little drawing of the

carriage at an Italian inn door, and described how, after the dangers and discomforts of an Alpine pass, they

descended by sunny slopes into Lombardy. Oh! the rapture that breathes from those simple pages! The

vintage scenes, the midday halt for luncheon eaten in the open air, the afternoon start, the front seat of the

carriage heaped with purple grapes, used to fire my youthful imagination and now recalls Madame de Stael's

line on perfect happiness: "To be young! to be in love! to be in Italy!"

Do people enjoy Europe as much now? I doubt it! It has become too much a matter of course, a necessary

part of the routine of life. Much of the bloom is brushed from foreign scenes by descriptive books and

photographs, that St. Mark's or Mt. Blanc has become as familiar to a child's eye as the house he lives in, and

in consequence the reality now instead of being a revelation is often a disappointment.

In my youth, it was still an event to cross. I remember my first voyage on the old sidewheeled SCOTIA, and

Captain Judkins in a wheeled chair, and a perpetual bad temper, being pushed about the deck; and our delight,

when the inevitable female asking him (three days out) how far we were from land, got the answer "about a

mile!"

"Indeed! How interesting! In which direction?"

"In that direction, madam," shouted the captain, pointing downward as he turned his back to her.

If I remember, we were then thirteen days getting to Liverpool, and made the acquaintance on board of the

people with whom we travelled during most of that winter. Imagine anyone now making an acquaintance on

board a steamer! In those simple days people depended on the friendships made at summer hotels or

boarding houses for their visiting list. At present, when a girl comes out, her mother presents her to

everybody she will be likely to know if she were to live a century. In the seventies, ladies cheerfully shared

their staterooms with women they did not know, and often became friends in consequence; but now, unless

a certain decksuite can be secured, with bath and sittingroom, on one or two particular "steamers," the

great lady is in despair. Yet our mothers were quite as refined as the present generation, only they took life

simply, as they found it.

Children are now taken abroad so young, that before they have reached an age to appreciate what they see,

Europe has become to them a twicetold tale. So true is this, that a receipt for making children good

Americans is to bring them up abroad. Once they get back here it is hard to entice them away again.

With each improvement in the speed of our steamers, something of the glamour of Europe vanishes. The

crowds that yearly rush across see and appreciate less in a lifetime than our parents did in their one tour

abroad. A good lady of my acquaintance was complaining recently how much Paris bored her.

"What can you do to pass the time?" she asked. I innocently answered that I knew nothing so entrancing as

long mornings passed at the Louvre.

"Oh, yes, I do that too," she replied, "but I like the 'Bon Marche' best!"

A trip abroad has become a purely social function to a large number of wealthy Americans, including

"presentation" in London and a winter in Rome or Cairo. And just as a "smart" Englishman is sure to tell you

that he has never visited the "Tower," it has become good form to ignore the sightseeing side of Europe;

hundreds of New Yorkers never seeing anything of Paris beyond the Rue de la Paix and the Bois. They would


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as soon think of going to Cluny or St. Denis as of visiting the museum in our park!

Such people go to Fontainebleau because they are buying furniture, and they wish to see the best models.

They go to Versailles on the coach and "do" the Palace during the halfhour before luncheon. Beyond that,

enthusiasm rarely carries them. As soon as they have settled themselves at the Bristol or the Rhin begins the

endless treadmill of leaving cards on all the people just seen at home, and whom they will meet again in a

couple of months at Newport or Bar Harbor. This duty and the allentrancing occupation of getting clothes

fills up every spare hour. Indeed, clothes seem to pervade the air of Paris in May, the conversation rarely

deviating from them. If you meet a lady you know looking ill, and ask the cause, it generally turns out to be

"four hours a day standing to be fitted." Incredible as it may seem, I have been told of one plain maiden lady,

who makes a trip across, spring and autumn, with the sole object of getting her two yearly outfits.

Remembering the hundreds of cultivated people whose dream in life (often unrealized from lack of means)

has been to go abroad and visit the scenes their reading has made familiar, and knowing what such a trip

would mean to them, and how it would be looked back upon during the rest of an obscure life, I felt it almost

a duty to "suppress" a wealthy female (doubtless an American cousin of Lady Midas) when she informed me,

the other day, that decidedly she would not go abroad this spring.

"It is not necessary. Worth has my measures!"

CHAPTER 4  The Outer and the Inner Woman

IT is a sad commentary on our boasted civilization that cases of shoplifting occur more and more frequently

each year, in which the delinquents are women of education and refinement, or at least belong to families and

occupy positions in which one would expect to find those qualities! The reason, however, is not difficult to

discover.

In the wake of our hasty and immature prosperity has come (as it does to all suddenly enriched societies) a

love of ostentation, a desire to dazzle the crowd by displays of luxury and rich trappings indicative of crude

and vulgar standards. The newly acquired money, instead of being expended for solid comforts or articles

which would afford lasting satisfaction, is lavished on what can be worn in public, or the outer shell of

display, while the home table and fireside belongings are neglected. A glance around our theatres, or at the

men and women in our crowded thoroughfares, is sufficient to reveal to even a casual observer that the mania

for fine clothes and what is costly, PER SE, has become the besetting sin of our day and our land.

The tone of most of the papers and of our theatrical advertisements reflects this feeling. The amount of

money expended for a work of art or a new building is mentioned before any comment as to its beauty or

fitness. A play is spoken of as "Manager So and So's thirtythousanddollar production!" The fact that a

favorite actress will appear in four different dresses during the three acts of a comedy, each toilet being a

special creation designed for her by a leading Parisian house, is considered of supreme importance and is

dwelt upon in the programme as a special attraction.

It would be astonishing if the taste of our women were different, considering the way clothes are eternally

being dangled before their eyes. Leading papers publish illustrated supplements devoted exclusively to the

subject of attire, thus carrying temptation into every humble home, and suggesting unattainable luxuries.

Windows in many of the larger shops contain lifesized manikins loaded with the latest costly and ephemeral

caprices of fashion arranged to catch the eye of the poorer class of women, who stand in hundreds gazing at

the display like larks attracted by a mirror! Watch those women as they turn away, and listen to their sighs of

discontent and envy. Do they not tell volumes about petty hopes and ambitions?


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I do not refer to the wealthy women whose toilets are in keeping with their incomes and the general footing

of their households; that they should spend more or less in fitting themselves out daintily is of little

importance. The point where this subject becomes painful is in families of small means where young girls

imagine that to be elaborately dressed is the first essential of existence, and, in consequence, bend their labors

and their intelligence towards this end. Last spring I asked an old friend where she and her daughters intended

passing their summer. Her answer struck me as being characteristic enough to quote: "We should much

prefer," she said, "returning to Bar Harbor, for we all enjoy that place and have many friends there. But the

truth is, my daughters have bought themselves very little in the way of toilet this year, as our finances are not

in a flourishing condition. So my poor girls will be obliged to make their last year's dresses do for another

season. Under these circumstances, it is out of the question for us to return a second summer to the same

place."

I do not know how this anecdote strikes my readers. It made me thoughtful and sad to think that, in a family

of intelligent and practical women, such a reason should be considered sufficient to outweigh enjoyment,

social relations, even health, and allowed to change the plans of an entire family.

As American women are so fond of copying English ways they should be willing to take a few lessons on the

subject of raiment from across the water. As this is not intended to be a dissertation on "How to Dress Well

on Nothing a Year," and as I feel the greatest diffidence in approaching a subject of which I know absolutely

nothing, it will be better to sheer off from these reefs and quicksands. Every one who reads these lines will

know perfectly well what is meant, when reference is made to the good sense and practical utility of English

women's dress.

What disgusts and angers me (when my way takes me into our surface or elevated cars or into ferry boats and

local trains) is the utter dissonance between the outfit of most of the women I meet and their position and

occupation. So universal is this, that it might almost be laid down as an axiom, that the American woman, no

matter in what walk of life you observe her, or what the time or the place, is always persistently and

grotesquely overdressed. From the women who frequent the hotels of our summer or winter resorts, down all

the steps of the social staircase to the charwoman, who consents (spasmodically) to remove the dust and

wastepapers from my office, there seems to be the same complete disregard of fitness. The other evening, in

leaving my rooms, I brushed against a portly person in the halflight of the corridor. There was a shimmer of

(what appeared to my inexperienced eyes as) costly stuffs, a huge hat crowned the shadow itself, "topped by

nodding plumes," which seemed to account for the depleted condition of my feather duster.

I found on inquiring of the janitor, that the dressy person I had met, was the charwoman in street attire, and

that a closet was set aside in the building, for the special purpose of her morning and evening

transformations, which she underwent in the belief that her social position in Avenue A would suffer, should

she appear in the streets wearing anything less costly than sealskin and velvet or such imitations of those

expensive materials as her stipend would permit.

I have as tenants of a small wooden house in Jersey City, a bank clerk, his wife and their three daughters. He

earns in the neighborhood of fifteen hundred dollars a year. Their rent (with which, by the way, they are

always in arrears) is three hundred dollars. I am favored spring and autumn by a visit from the ladies of that

family, in the hope (generally futile) of inducing me to do some ornamental papering or painting in their

residence, subjects on which they have by experience found my agent to be unapproachable. When those four

women descend upon me, I am fairly dazzled by the splendor of their attire, and lost in wonder as to how the

price of all that finery can have been squeezed out of the twelve remaining hundreds of their income. When I

meet the father he is shabby to the outer limits of the genteel. His hat has, I am sure, supported the suns and

snowstorms of a dozen seasons. There is a threadbare shine on his apparel that suggests a heartache in each

whitened seam, but the ladies are mirrors of fashion, as well as moulds of form. What can remain for any

creature comforts after all those fine clothes have been paid for? And how much is put away for the years


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when the longsuffering money maker will be past work, or saved towards the time when sickness or

accident shall appear on the horizon? How those ladies had the "nerve" to enter a ferry boat or crowd into a

cable car, dressed as they were, has always been a marvel to me. A landau and two liveried servants would

barely have been in keeping with their appearance.

Not long ago, a great English nobleman, who is also famous in the yachting world, visited this country

accompanied by his two daughters, highbred and genial ladies. No selfrespecting American shop girl or

fashionable typewriter would have condescended to appear in the inexpensive attire which those English

women wore. Wherever one met them, at dinner, FETE, or ball, they were always the most simply dressed

women in the room. I wonder if it ever occurred to any of their gorgeously attired hostesses, that it was

because their transatlantic guests were so sure of their position, that they contented themselves with such

simple toilets knowing that nothing they might wear could either improve or alter their standing

In former ages, sumptuary laws were enacted by parental governments, in the hope of suppressing

extravagance in dress, the state of affairs we deplore now, not being a new development of human weakness,

but as old as wealth.

The desire to shine by the splendor of one's trappings is the first idea of the parvenu, especially here in this

country, where the ambitious are denied the pleasure of acquiring a title, and where official rank carries with

it so little social weight. Few more striking ways present themselves to the crude and halfeducated for the

expenditure of a new fortune than the purchase of sumptuous apparel, the satisfaction being immediate and

material. The wearer of a complete and perfect toilet must experience a delight of which the uninitiated know

nothing, for such cruel sacrifices are made and so many privations endured to procure this satisfaction. When

I see groups of women, clad in the latest designs of purple and fine linen, stand shivering on street corners of

a winter night, until they can crowd into a car, I doubt if the joy they get from their clothes, compensates

them for the creature comforts they are forced to forego, and I wonder if it never occurs to them to spend less

on their wardrobes and so feel they can afford to return from a theatre or concert comfortably, in a cab, as a

foreign woman, with their income would do.

There is a stoical determination about the American point of view that compels a certain amount of respect.

Our countrywomen will deny themselves pleasures, will economize on their food and will remain in town

during the summer, but when walking abroad they must be clad in the best, so that no one may know by their

appearance if the income be counted by hundreds or thousands.

While these standards prevail and the female mind is fixed on this subject with such dire intent, it is not

astonishing that a weaker sister is occasionally tempted beyond her powers of resistance. Nor that each day a

new case of a welldressed woman thieving in a shop reaches our ears. The poor feebleminded creature is

not to blame. She is but the reflexion of the minds around her and is probably like the lady Emerson tells of,

who confessed to him "that the sense of being perfectly welldressed had given her a feeling of inward

tranquillity which religion was powerless to bestow."

CHAPTER 5  On Some Gilded Misalliances

A DEAR old American lady, who lived the greater part of her life in Rome, and received every body worth

knowing in her spacious drawingrooms, far up in the dim vastnesses of a Roman palace, used to say that she

had only known one really happy marriage made by an American girl abroad.

In those days, being young and innocent, I considered that remark cynical, and in my heart thought nothing

could be more romantic and charming than for a fair compatriot to assume an historic title and retire to her

husband's estates, and rule smilingly over him and a devoted tenantry, as in the last act of a comic opera,

when a rose colored light is burning and the orchestra plays the last brilliant chords of a wedding march.


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There seemed to my perverted sense a certain poetic justice about the fact that money, gained honestly but

prosaically, in groceries or gas, should go to regild an ancient blazon or prop up the crumbling walls of some

stately palace abroad.

Many thoughtful years and many cruel realities have taught me that my gracious hostess of the "seventies"

was right, and that marriage under these conditions is apt to be much more like the comic opera after the

curtain has been rung down, when the lights are out, the applauding public gone home, and the weary actors

brought slowly back to the present and the positive, are wondering how they are to pay their rent or dodge the

warrant in ambush around the corner.

International marriages usually come about from a deficient knowledge of the world. The father becomes

rich, the family travel abroad, some mutual friend (often from purely interested motives) produces a suitor for

the hand of the daughter, in the shape of a "prince" with a title that makes the whole simple American family

quiver with delight.

After a few visits the suitor declares himself; the girl is flattered, the father loses his head, seeing visions of

his loved daughter hobnobbing with royalty, and (intoxicating thought!) snubbing the "swells" at home who

had shown reluctance to recognize him and his family.

It is next to impossible for him to get any reliable information about his future soninlaw in a country

where, as an American, he has few social relations, belongs to no club, and whose idiom is a sealed book to

him. Every circumstance conspires to keep the flaws on the article for sale out of sight and place the suitor in

an advantageous light. Several weeks' "courting" follows, paterfamilias agrees to part with a handsome share

of his earnings, and a marriage is "arranged."

In the case where the girl has retained some of her selfrespect the suitor is made to come to her country for

the ceremony. And, that the contrast between European ways and our simple habits may not be too striking,

an establishment is hastily got together, with hired liveries and newbought carriages, as in a recent case in

this state. The sensational papers write up this "international union," and publish "faked" portraits of the bride

and her noble spouse. The sovereign of the groom's country (enchanted that some more American money is

to be imported into his land) sends an economical present and an autograph letter. The act ends. Limelight

and slow music!

In a few years rumors of dissent and trouble float vaguely back to the girl's family. Finally, either a great

scandal occurs, and there is one dishonored home the more in the world, or an expatriated woman, thousands

of miles from the friends and relatives who might be of some comfort to her, makes up her mind to accept

"anything" for the sake of her children, and attempts to build up some sort of an existence out of the remains

of her lost illusions, and the father wakes up from his dream to realize that his wealth has only served to ruin

what he loved best in all the world.

Sometimes the conditions are delightfully comic, as in a wellknown case, where the daughter, who married

into an indolent, happygo lucky Italian family, had inherited her father's business push and energy along

with his fortune, and immediately set about "running" her husband's estate as she had seen her father do his

bank. She tried to revive a halfforgotten industry in the district, scraped and whitewashed their picturesque

old villa, proposed her husband's entering business, and in short dashed head down against all his inherited

traditions and national prejudices, until her new family loathed the sight of the brisk American face, and the

poor she had tried to help, sulked in their newly drained houses and refused to be comforted. Her ways were

not Italian ways, and she seemed to the nunlike Italian ladies, almost unsexed, as she tramped about the

fields, talking artificial manure and subsoil drainage with the men. Yet neither she nor her husband was to

blame. The young Italian had but followed the teachings of his family, which decreed that the only honorable

way for an aristocrat to acquire wealth was to marry it. The American wife honestly tried to do her duty in


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this new position, naively thinking she could engraft transatlantic "go" upon the indolent Italian character.

Her work was in vain; she made herself and her husband so unpopular that they are now living in this

country, regretting too late the error of their ways.

Another case but little less laughable, is that of a Boston girl with a neat little fortune of her own, who, when

married to the young Viennese of her choice, found that he expected her to live with his family on the third

floor of their "palace" (the two lower floors being rented to foreigners), and as there was hardly enough

money for a box at the opera, she was not expected to go, whereas his position made it necessary for him to

have a stall and appear there nightly among the men of his rank, the astonished and disillusioned Bostonian

remaining at home EN TETEATETE with the women of his family, who seemed to think this the most

natural arrangement in the world.

It certainly is astonishing that we, the most patriotic of nations, with such high opinion of ourselves and our

institutions, should be so ready to hand over our daughters and our ducats to the first foreigner who asks for

them, often requiring less information about him than we should consider necessary before buying a horse or

a dog.

Women of no other nation have this mania for espousing aliens. Nowhere else would a girl with a large

fortune dream of marrying out of her country. Her highest ideal of a husband would be a man of her own kin.

It is the rarest thing in the world to find a wellborn French, Spanish, or Italian woman married to a foreigner

and living away from her country. How can a woman expect to be happy separated from all the ties and

traditions of her youth? If she is taken abroad young, she may still hope to replace her friends as is often

done. But the real reason of unhappiness (greater and deeper than this) lies in the fundamental difference of

the whole social structure between our country and that of her adoption, and the radically different way of

looking at every side of life.

Surely a girl must feel that a man who allows a marriage to be arranged for him (and only signs the contact

because its pecuniary clauses are to his satisfaction, and who would withdraw in a moment if these were

suppressed), must have an entirely different point of view from her own on all the vital issues of life.

Foreigners undoubtedly make excellent husbands for their own women. But they are, except in rare cases,

unsatisfactory helpmeets for American girls. It is impossible to touch on more than a side or two of this

subject. But as an illustration the following contrasted stories may be cited:

Two sisters of an aristocratic American family, each with an income of over forty thousand dollars a year,

recently married French noblemen. They naturally expected to continue abroad the life they had led at home,

in which opera boxes, saddle horses, and constant entertaining were matters of course. In both cases, our

compatriots discovered that their husbands (neither of them penniless) had entirely different views. In the

first place, they were told that it was considered "bad form" in France for young married women to entertain;

besides, the money was needed for improvements, and in many other ways, and as every welltodo French

family puts aside at least a third of its income as DOTS for the children (boys as well as girls), these brides

found themselves cramped for money for the first time in their lives, and obliged, during their one month a

year in Paris, to put up with hired traps, and depend on their friends for evenings at the opera.

This story is a telling setoff to the case of an American wife, who one day received a windfall in the form of

a check for a tidy amount. She immediately proposed a trip abroad to her husband, but found that he preferred

to remain at home in the society of his horses and dogs. So our fair compatriot starts off (with his full

consent), has her outing, spends her little "pile," and returns after three or four months to the home of her

delighted spouse.


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Do these two stories need any comment? Let our sisters and their friends think twice before they make

themselves irrevocably wheels in a machine whose working is unknown to them, lest they be torn to pieces as

it moves. Having the good luck to be born in the "paradise of women," let them beware how they leave it,

charm the serpent never so wisely, for they may find themselves, like the Peri, outside the gate.

CHAPTER 6  The Complacency of Mediocrity

FULL as small intellects are of queer kinks, unexplained turnings and groundless likes and dislikes, the bland

contentment that buoys up the incompetent is the most difficult of all vagaries to account for. Rarely do

twentyfour hours pass without examples of this exasperating weakness appearing on the surface of those

shallows that commonplace people so naively call "their minds."

What one would expect is extreme modesty, in the halfeducated or the ignorant, and selfapprobation

higher up in the scale, where it might more reasonably dwell. Experience, however, teaches that exactly the

opposite is the case among those who have achieved success.

The accidents of a life turned by chance out of the beaten tracks, have thrown me at times into

acquaintanceship with some of the greater lights of the last thirty years. And not only have they been, as a

rule, most unassuming men and women; but in the majority of cases positively selfdepreciatory; doubting of

themselves and their talents, constantly aiming at greater perfection in their art or a higher development of

their powers, never contented with what they have achieved, beyond the idea that it has been another step

toward their goal. Knowing this, it is always a shock on meeting the mediocre people who form such a

discouraging majority in any society, to discover that they are all so pleased with themselves, their

achievements, their place in the world, and their own ability and discernment!

Who has not sat chafing in silence while Mediocrity, in a white waistcoat and jangling fobs, occupied the

afterdinner hour in imparting secondhand information as his personal views on literature and art? Can you

not hear him saying once again: "I don't pretend to know anything about art and all that sort of thing, you

know, but when I go to an exhibition I can always pick out the best pictures at a glance. Sort of a way I have,

and I never make mistakes, you know."

Then go and watch, as I have, Henri Rochefort as he laboriously forms the opinions that are to appear later in

one of his "SALONS," realizing the while that he is FACILE PRINCEPS among the art critics of his day, that

with a line he can make or mar a reputation and by a word draw the admiring crowd around an unknown

canvas. While Rochefort toils and ponders and hesitates, do you suppose a doubt as to his own astuteness

ever dims the self complacency of White Waistcoat? Never!

There lies the strength of the feebleminded. By a special dispensation of Providence, they can never see but

one side of a subject, so are always convinced that they are right, and from the height of their contentment,

look down on those who chance to differ with them.

A lady who has gathered into her dainty salons the fruit of many years' careful study and tireless "weeding"

will ask anxiously if you are quite sure you like the effect of her latest acquisition  some eighteenthcentury

statuette or screen (flotsam, probably, from the great shipwreck of Versailles), and listen earnestly to your

verdict. The good soul who has just furnished her house by contract, with the latest "Louis Fourteenth Street"

productions, conducts you complacently through her chambers of horrors, wreathed in tranquil smiles, born

of ignorance and that smug assurance granted only to the  small.

When a small intellect goes in for cultivating itself and improving its mind, you realize what the poet meant

in asserting that a little learning was a dangerous thing. For Mediocrity is apt, when it dines out, to get up a

subject beforehand, and announce to an astonished circle, as quite new and personal discoveries, that the


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Renaissance was introduced into France from Italy, or that Columbus in his day made important "finds."

When the incompetent advance another step and write or paint  which, alas! is only too frequent  the world

of art and literature is flooded with their productions. When White Waistcoat, for example, takes to painting,

late in life, and comes to you, canvas in hand, for criticism (read praise), he is apt to remark modestly:

"Corot never painted until he was fifty, and I am only fortyeight. So I feel I should not let myself be

discouraged."

The problem of life is said to be the finding of a happiness that is not enjoyed at the expense of others, and

surely this class have solved that Sphinx's riddle, for they float through their days in a dream of complacency

disturbed neither by corroding doubt nor harassed by jealousies.

Whole families of feebleminded people, on the strength of an ancestor who achieved distinction a hundred

years ago, live in constant thanksgiving that they "are not as other men." None of the great man's descendants

have done anything to be particularly proud of since their remote progenitor signed the Declaration of

Independence or governed a colony. They have vegetated in small provincial cities and intermarried into

other equally fortunate families, but the sense of superiority is ever present to sustain them, under straitened

circumstances and diminishing prestige. The world may move on around them, but they never advance. Why

should they? They have reached perfection. The brains and enterprise that have revolutionized our age knock

in vain at their doors. They belong to that vast "majority that is always in the wrong," being so pleased with

themselves, their ways, and their feeble little lines of thought, that any change or advancement gives their

system a shock.

A painter I know was once importuned for a sketch by a lady of this class. After many delays and renewed

demands he presented her one day, when she and some friends were visiting his studio, with a delightful

openair study simply framed. She seemed confused at the offering, to his astonishment, as she had not

lacked APLOMB in asking for the sketch. After much blushing and fumbling she succeeded in getting the

painting loose, and handing back the frame, remarked:

"I will take the painting, but you must keep the frame. My husband would never allow me to accept anything

of value from you!"  and smiled on the speechless painter, doubtless charmed with her own tact.

Complacent people are the same drag on a society that a brake would be to a coach going up hill. They are

the "eternal negative" and would extinguish, if they could, any light stronger than that to which their weak

eyes have been accustomed. They look with astonishment and distrust at any one trying to break away from

their tiresome old ways and habits, and wonder why all the world is not as pleased with their personalities as

they are themselves, suggesting, if you are willing to waste your time listening to their twaddle, that there is

something radically wrong in any innovation, that both "Church and State" will be imperilled if things are

altered. No blight, no mildew is more fatal to a plant than the "complacent" are to the world. They resent any

progress and are offended if you mention before them any new standards or points of view. "What has been

good enough for us and our parents should certainly be satisfactory to the younger generations." It seems to

the contented like pure presumption on the part of their acquaintances to wander after strange gods, in the

shape of new ideals, higher standards of culture, or a perfected refinement of surroundings.

We are perhaps wrong to pity complacent people. It is for another class our sympathy should be kept; for

those who cannot refrain from doubting of themselves and the value of their work  those unfortunate gifted

and artistic spirits who descend too often the VIA DOLOROSA of discontent and despair, who have a higher

ideal than their neighbors, and, in struggling after an unattainable perfection, fall by the wayside.


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CHAPTER 7  The Discontent of Talent

THE complacency that buoys up selfsufficient souls, soothing them with the illusion that they themselves,

their towns, country, language, and habits are above improvement, causing them to shudder, as at a sacrilege,

if any changes are suggested, is fortunately limited to a class of stayathome nonentities. In proportion as it

is common among them, is it rare or delightfully absent in any society of gifted or imaginative people.

Among our globetrotting compatriots this defect is much less general than in the older nations of the world,

for the excellent reason, that the moment a man travels or takes the trouble to know people of different

nationalities, his armor of complacency receives so severe a blow, that it is shattered forever, the wanderer

returning home wiser and much more modest. There seems to be something fatal to conceit in the air of great

centres; professionally or in general society a man so soon finds his level.

The "great world" may foster other faults; human nature is sure to develop some in every walk of life. Smug

contentment, however, disappears in its rarefied atmosphere, giving place to a craving for improvement, a

nervous alertness that keeps the mind from stagnating and urges it on to do its best.

It is never the beautiful woman who sits down in smiling serenity before her mirror. She is tireless in her

efforts to enhance her beauty and set it off to the best advantage. Her figure is never slender enough, nor her

carriage sufficiently erect to satisfy. But the "frump" will let herself and all her surroundings go to seed, not

from humbleness of mind or an overwhelming sense of her own unworthiness, but in pure complacent

conceit.

A criticism to which the highly gifted lay themselves open from those who do not understand them, is their

love of praise, the critics failing to grasp the fact that this passion for measuring one's self with others, like

the gadfly pursuing poor Io, never allows a moment's repose in the green pastures of success, but goads

them constantly up the rocky sides of endeavor. It is not that they love flattery, but that they need approbation

as a counterpoise to the dark moments of selfabasement and as a sustaining aid for higher flights.

Many years ago I was present at a final sitting which my master, Carolus Duran, gave to one of my fair

compatriots. He knew that the lady was leaving Paris on the morrow, and that in an hour, her husband and his

friends were coming to see and criticise the portrait  always a terrible ordeal for an artist.

To any one familiar with this painter's moods, it was evident that the result of the sitting was not entirely

satisfactory. The quick breathing, the impatient tapping movement of the foot, the swift backward springs to

obtain a better view, so characteristic of him in moments of doubt, and which had twenty years before earned

him the name of LE DANSEUR from his fellowcopyists at the Louvre, betrayed to even a casual observer

that his discouragement and discontent were at boiling point.

The sound of a bell and a murmur of voices announced the entrance of the visitors into the vast studio. After

the formalities of introduction had been accomplished the newcomers glanced at the portrait, but uttered

never a word. From it they passed in a perfectly casual manner to an inspection of the beautiful contents of

the room, investigating the tapestries, admiring the armor, and finally, after another glance at the portrait, the

husband remarked: "You have given my wife a jolly long neck, haven't you?" and, turning to his friends,

began laughing and chatting in English.

If vitriol had been thrown on my poor master's quivering frame, the effect could not have been more

instantaneous, his ignorance of the language spoken doubtless exaggerating his impression of being ridiculed.

Suddenly he turned very white, and before any of us had divined his intention he had seized a Japanese sword

lying by and cut a dozen gashes across the canvas. Then, dropping his weapon, he flung out of the room,

leaving his sitter and her friends in speechless consternation, to wonder then and ever after in what way they


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had offended him. In their opinions, if a man had talent and understood his business, he should produce

portraits with the same ease that he would answer dinner invitations, and if they paid for, they were in no way

bound also to praise, his work. They were entirely pleased with the result, but did not consider it necessary to

tell him so, no idea having crossed their minds that he might be in one of those moods so frequent with

artistic natures, when words of approbation and praise are as necessary to them, as the air we breathe is to us,

mortals of a commoner clay.

Even in the theatrical and operatic professions, those hotbeds of conceit, you will generally find among the

"stars" abysmal depths of discouragement and despair. One great tenor, who has delighted New York

audiences during several winters past, invariably announces to his intimates on arising that his "voice has

gone," and that, in consequence he will "never sing again," and has to be caressed and cajoled back into some

semblance of confidence before attempting a performance. This same artist, with an almost limitless

repertoire and a reputation no new successes could enhance, recently risked all to sing what he considered a

higher class of music, infinitely more fatiguing to his voice, because he was impelled onward by the ideal that

forces genius to constant improvement and development of its powers.

What the people who meet these artists occasionally at a private concert or behind the scenes during the

intense strain of a representation, take too readily for monumental egoism and conceit, is, the greater part of

the time, merely the desire for a sustaining word, a longing for the stimulant of praise.

All actors and singers are but big children, and must be humored and petted like children when you wish

them to do their best. It is necessary for them to feel in touch with their audiences; to be assured that they are

not falling below the high ideals formed for their work.

Some winters ago a performance at the opera nearly came to a standstill because an allconquering soprano

was found crying in her dressingroom. After many weary moments of consolation and questioning, it came

out that she felt quite sure she no longer had any talent. One of the other singers had laughed at her voice, and

in consequence there was nothing left to live for. A halfhour later, owing to judicious "treatment," she was

singing gloriously and bowing her thanks to thunders of applause.

Rather than blame this divine discontent that has made man what he is today, let us glorify and envy it,

pitying the while the frail mortal vessels it consumes with its flame. No adulation can turn such natures from

their goal, and in the hour of triumph the slave is always at their side to whisper the word of warning. This

discontent is the leaven that has raised the whole loaf of dull humanity to better things and higher efforts,

those privileged to feel it are the suns that illuminate our system. If on these luminaries observers have

discovered spots, it is well to remember that these blemishes are but the defects of their qualities, and better

far than the total eclipse that shrouds so large a part of humanity in colorless complacency.

It will never be known how many masterpieces have been lost to the world because at the critical moment a

friend has not been at hand with the stimulant of sympathy and encouragement needed by an overworked,

straining artist who was beginning to lose confidence in himself; to soothe his irritated nerves with the balm

of praise, and take his poor aching head on a friendly shoulder and let him sob out there all his doubt and

discouragement.

So let us not be niggardly or ungenerous in meting out to struggling fellowbeings their share, and perchance

a little more than their share of approbation and applause, poor enough return, after all, for the pleasure their

labors have procured us. What adequate compensation can we mete out to an author for the hours of delight

and selfforgetfulness his talent has brought to us in moments of loneliness, illness, or grief? What can pay

our debt to a painter who has fixed on canvas the face we love?


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The little return that it is in our power to make for all the joy these gifted fellowbeings bring into our lives is

(closing our eyes to minor imperfections) to warmly applaud them as they move upward, along their stony

path.

CHAPTER 8  Slouch

I SHOULD like to see, in every schoolroom of our growing country, in every business office, at the railway

stations, and on street corners, large placards placed with "Do not slouch" printed thereon in distinct and

imposing characters. If ever there was a tendency that needed nipping in the bud (I fear the bud is fast

becoming a fullblown flower), it is this discouraging national failing.

Each year when I return from my spring wanderings, among the benighted and effete nations of the Old

World, on whom the untravelled American looks down from the height of his superiority, I am struck anew

by the contrast between the trim, wellgroomed officials left behind on one side of the ocean and the

happygo lucky, slouching individuals I find on the other.

As I ride up town this unpleasant impression deepens. In the "little Mother Isle" I have just left, busdrivers

have quite a coaching air, with hat and coat of knowing form. They sport flowers in their buttonholes and

salute other busdrivers, when they meet, with a twist of whip and elbow refreshingly correct, showing that

they take pride in their calling, and have been at some pains to turn themselves out as smart in appearance as

finances would allow.

Here, on the contrary, the stage and cab drivers I meet seem to be under a blight, and to have lost all interest

in life. They lounge on the box, their legs straggling aimlessly, one hand holding the reins, the other hanging

dejectedly by the side. Yet there is little doubt that these heartbroken citizens are earning double what their

London CONFRERES gain. The shadow of the national peculiarity is over them.

When I get to my rooms, the elevator boy is reclining in the lift, and hardly raises his eyelids as he languidly

manoeuvres the rope. I have seen that boy now for months, but never when his boots and clothes were

brushed or when his cravat was not riding proudly above his collar. On occasions I have offered him pins,

which he took wearily, doubtless because it was less trouble than to refuse. The next day, however, his cravat

again rode triumphant, mocking my efforts to keep it in its place. His hair, too, has been a cause of wonder to

me. How does he manage to have it always so long and so unkempt? More than once, when expecting callers,

I have bribed him to have it cut, but it seemed to grow in the night, back to its poetic profusion.

In what does this noble disregard for appearances which characterizes American men originate? Our climate,

as some suggest, or discouragement at not all being millionaires? It more likely comes from an absence with

us of the military training that abroad goes so far toward licking young men into shape.

I shall never forget the surprise on the face of a French statesman to whom I once expressed my sympathy for

his country, laboring under the burden of so vast a standing army. He answered:

"The financial burden is doubtless great; but you have others. Witness your pension expenditures. With us the

money drawn from the people is used in such a way as to be of inestimable value to them. We take the young

hobbledehoy farmhand or mechanic, ignorant, mannerless, uncleanly as he may be, and turn him out at the

end of three years with his regiment, selfrespecting and well mannered, with habits of cleanliness and

obedience, having acquired a bearing, and a love of order that will cling to and serve him all his life. We do

not go so far," he added, "as our English neighbors in drilling men into superb manikins of 'form' and

carriage. Our authorities do not consider it necessary. But we reclaim youths from the slovenliness of their

native village or workshop and make them tidy and mannerly citizens."


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These remarks came to mind the other day as I watched a group of New England youths lounging on the

steps of the village store, or sitting in rows on a neighboring fence, until I longed to try if even a judicial

arrangement of tacks, 'businessend up,' on these favorite seats would infuse any energy into their

movements. I came to the conclusion that my French acquaintance was right, for the only trimlooking men

to be seen, were either veterans of our war or youths belonging to the local militia. And nowhere does one see

finer specimens of humanity than West Point and Annapolis turn out.

If any one doubts what kind of men slouching youths develop into, let him look when he travels, at the

dejected appearance of the farmhouses throughout our land. Surely our rural populations are not so much

poorer than those of other countries. Yet when one compares the dreary homes of even our welltodo

farmers with the smiling, wellkept hamlets seen in England or on the Continent, such would seem to be the

case.

If ours were an old and bankrupt nation, this air of discouragement and decay could not be greater. Outside of

the big cities one looks in vain for some sign of American dash and enterprise in the appearance of our men

and their homes.

During a journey of over four thousand miles, made last spring as the guest of a gentleman who knows our

country thoroughly, I was impressed most painfully with this abject air. Never in all those days did we see a

fruittree trained on some sunny southern wall, a smiling flowergarden or carefully clipped hedge. My host

told me that hardly the necessary vegetables are grown, the inhabitants of the West and South preferring

canned food. It is less trouble!

If you wish to form an idea of the extent to which slouch prevails in our country, try to start a "village

improvement society," and experience, as others have done, the apathy and illwill of the inhabitants when

you go about among them and strive to summon some of their local pride to your aid.

In the town near which I pass my summers, a large stone, fallen from a passing dray, lay for days in the

middle of the principal street, until I paid some boys to remove it. No one cared, and the dulleyed

inhabitants would doubtless be looking at it still but for my impatience.

One would imagine the villagers were all on the point of moving away (and they generally are, if they can

sell their land), so little interest do they show in your plans. Like all people who have fallen into bad habits,

they have grown to love their slatternly ways and cling to them, resenting furiously any attempt to shake

them up to energy and reform.

The farmer has not, however, a monopoly. Slouch seems ubiquitous. Our railway and steamboat systems

have tried in vain to combat it, and supplied their employees with a livery (I beg the free and independent

voter's pardon, a uniform!), with but little effect. The inherent tendency is too strong for the corporations. The

conductors still shuffle along in their spotted garments, the cap on the back of the head, and their legs

anywhere, while they chew gum in defiance of the whole Board of Directors.

Go down to Washington, after a visit to the Houses of Parliament or the Chamber of Deputies, and observe

the contrast between the bearing of our Senators and Representatives and the air of their CONFRERES

abroad. Our lawmakers seem trying to avoid every appearance of "smartness." Indeed, I am told, so great is

the prejudice in the United States against a wellturnedout man that a candidate would seriously

compromise his chances of election who appeared before his constituents in other than the accustomed

shabby frockcoat, unbuttoned and floating, a pot hat, no gloves, as much doubtfully white shirtfront as

possible, and a wisp of black silk for a tie; and if he can exhibit also a chinwhisker, his chances of election

are materially increased.


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Nothing offends an eye accustomed to our native LAISSER ALLER so much as a wellbrushed hat and

shining boots. When abroad, it is easy to spot a compatriot as soon and as far as you can see one, by his

graceless gait, a cross between a lounge and a shuffle. In reading, or diningroom, he is the only man whose

spine does not seem equal to its work, so he flops and straggles until, for the honor of your land, you long to

shake him and set him squarely on his legs.

No amount of reasoning can convince me that outward slovenliness is not a sign of inward and moral

supineness. A neglected exterior generally means a lax moral code. The man who considers it too much

trouble to sit erect can hardly have given much time to his tub or his toilet. Having neglected his clothes, he

will neglect his manners, and between morals and manners we know the tie is intimate.

In the Orient a new reign is often inaugurated by the construction of a mosque. Vast expense is incurred to

make it as splendid as possible. But, once completed, it is never touched again. Others are built by succeeding

sovereigns, but neither thought nor treasure is ever expended on the old ones. When they can no longer be

used, they are abandoned, and fall into decay. The same system seems to prevail among our private owners

and corporations. Streets are paved, lampposts erected, storefronts carefully adorned, but from the hour the

workman puts his finishing touch upon them they are abandoned to the hand of fate. The mud may cake up

kneedeep, wind and weather work their own sweet will, it is no one's business to interfere.

When abroad one of my amusements has been of an early morning to watch Paris making its toilet. The

streets are taking a bath, liveried attendants are blacking the boots of the lampposts and

newspaperKIOSQUES, the shopfronts are being shaved and having their hair curled, cafe's and restaurants

are putting on clean shirts and tying their cravats smartly before their many mirrors. By the time the world is

up and about, the whole city, smiling freshly from its matutinal tub, is ready to greet it gayly.

It is this attention to detail that gives to Continental cities their air of cheerfulness and thrift, and the utter lack

of it that impresses foreigners so painfully on arriving at our shores.

It has been the fashion to laugh at the dude and his high collar, at the darky in his master's castoff clothes,

aping style and fashion. Better the dude, better the colored dandy, better even the Bowery "tough" with his

affected carriage, for they at least are reaching blindly out after something better than their surroundings,

striving after an ideal, and are in just so much the superiors of the foolish souls who mock them  better, even

misguided efforts, than the ignoble stagnant quagmire of slouch into which we seem to be slowly descending.

CHAPTER 9  Social Suggestion

THE question of how far we are unconsciously influenced by people and surroundings, in our likes and

dislikes, our opinions, and even in our pleasures and intimate tastes, is a delicate and interesting one, for the

line between success and failure in the world, as on the stage or in most of the professions, is so narrow and

depends so often on what humor one's "public" happen to be in at a particular moment, that the subject is

worthy of consideration.

Has it never happened to you, for instance, to dine with friends and go afterwards in a jolly humor to the play

which proved so delightful that you insist on taking your family immediately to see it; when to your

astonishment you discover that it is neither clever nor amusing, on the contrary rather dull. Your family look

at you in amazement and wonder what you had seen to admire in such an asinine performance. There was a

case of suggestion! You had been influenced by your friends and had shared their opinions. The same thing

occurs on a higher scale when one is raised out of one's self by association with gifted and original people, a

communion with more cultivated natures which causes you to discover and appreciate a thousand hidden

beauties in literature, art or music that left to yourself, you would have failed to notice. Under these

circumstances you will often be astonished at the point and piquancy of your own conversation. This is but


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too true of a number of subjects.

We fondly believe our opinions and convictions to be original, and with innocent conceit, imagine that we

have formed them for ourselves. The illusion of being unlike other people is a common vanity. Beware of the

man who asserts such a claim. He is sure to be a bore and will serve up to you, as his own, a muddle of ideas

and opinions which he has absorbed like a sponge from his surroundings.

No place is more propitious for studying this curious phenomenon, than behind the scenes of a theatre, the

last few nights before a first performance. The whole company is keyed up to a point of mutual admiration

that they are far from feeling generally. "The piece is charming and sure to be a success." The author and the

interpreters of his thoughts are in complete communion. The first night comes. The piece is a failure! Drop

into the greenroom then and you will find an astonishing change has taken place. The Star will take you into a

corner and assert that, she "always knew the thing could not go, it was too imbecile, with such a company, it

was folly to expect anything else." The author will abuse the Star and the management. The whole troupe is

frankly disconcerted, like people aroused out of a hypnotic sleep, wondering what they had seen in the play to

admire.

In the social world we are even more inconsistent, accepting with tameness the most astonishing theories and

opinions. Whole circles will go on assuring each other how clever Miss SoandSo is, or, how beautiful they

think someone else. Not because these good people are any cleverer, or more attractive than their neighbors,

but simply because it is in the air to have these opinions about them. To such an extent does this hold good,

that certain persons are privileged to be vulgar and rude, to say impertinent things and make remarks that

would ostracize a less fortunate individual from the polite world for ever; society will only smilingly shrug its

shoulders and say: "It is only Mr. SoandSo's way." It is useless to assert that in cases like these, people are

in possession of their normal senses. They are under influences of which they are perfectly unconscious.

Have you ever seen a piece guyed? Few sadder sights exist, the human being rarely getting nearer the brute

than when engaged in this amusement. Nothing the actor or actress can do will satisfy the public. Men who

under ordinary circumstances would be incapable of insulting a woman, will whistle and stamp and laugh, at

an unfortunate girl who is doing her utmost to amuse them. A terrible example of this was given two winters

ago at one of our concert halls, when a family of Western singers were subjected to absolute illtreatment at

the hands of the public. The young girls were perfectly sincere, in their rude way, but this did not prevent

men from offering them every insult malice could devise, and making them a target for every missile at hand.

So little does the public think for itself in cases like this, that at the opening of the performance had some

wellknown person given the signal for applause, the whole audience would, in all probability, have been

delighted and made the wretched sisters a success.

In my youth it was the fashion to affect admiration for the Italian school of painting and especially for the

great masters of the Renaissance. Whole families of perfectly inartistic English and Americans might then he

heard conscientiously admiring the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or Leonardo's Last Supper (Botticelli had not

been invented then) in the choicest guidebook language.

When one considers the infinite knowledge of technique required to understand the difficulties overcome by

the giants of the Renaissance and to appreciate the intrinsic qualities of their creations, one asks one's self in

wonder what our parents admired in those paintings, and what tempted them to bring home and adorn their

houses with such dreadful copies of their favorites. For if they appreciated the originals they never would

have bought the copies, and if the copies pleased them, they must have been incapable of enjoying the

originals. Yet all these people thought themselves perfectly sincere. Today you will see the same thing

going on before the paintings of Claude Monet and Besnard, the same admiration expressed by people who,

you feel perfectly sure, do not realize why these works of art are superior and can no more explain to you

why they think as they do than the sheep that follow each other through a hole in a wall, can give a reason for


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their actions.

Dress and fashion in clothes are subjects above all others, where the ineptitude of the human mind is most

evident. Can it be explained in any other way, why the fashions of yesterday always appear so hideous to us,

almost grotesque? Take up an old album of photographs and glance over the faded contents. Was there ever

anything so absurd? Look at the top hats men wore, and at the skirts of the women!

The mother of a family said to me the other day: "When I recall the way in which girls were dressed in my

youth, I wonder how any of us ever got a husband."

Study a photograph of the Empress Eugenie, that supreme arbiter of elegance and grace. Oh! those bunchy

hooped skirts! That awful India shawl pinned off the shoulders, and the bonnet perched on a roll of hair in the

nape of the neck! What were people thinking of at that time? Were they lunatics to deform in this way the

beautiful lines of the human body which it should be the first object of toilet to enhance, or were they only

lacking in the artistic sense? Nothing of the kind. And what is more, they were convinced that the real secret

of beauty in dress had been discovered by them; that past fashions were absurd, and that the future could not

improve on their creations. The sculptors and painters of that day (men of as great talent as any now living),

were enthusiastic in reproducing those monstrosities in marble or on canvas, and authors raved about the

ideal grace with which a certain beauty draped her shawl.

Another marked manner in which we are influenced by circumambient suggestion, is in the transient furore

certain games and pastimes create. We see intelligent people so given over to this influence as barely to allow

themselves time to eat and sleep, begrudging the hours thus stolen from their favorite amusement.

Ten years ago, tennis occupied every moment of our young people's time; now golf has transplanted tennis in

public favor, which does not prove, however, that the latter is the better game, but simply that compelled by

the accumulated force of other people's opinions, youths and maidens, old duffers and mature spinsters are

willing to pass many hours daily in all kinds of weather, solemnly following an indianrubber ball across

tenacre lots.

If you suggest to people who are laboring under the illusion they are amusing themselves that the game,

absorbing so much of their attention, is not as exciting as tennis nor as clever in combinations as croquet, that

in fact it would be quite as amusing to roll an empty barrel several times around a plowed field, they laugh at

you in derision and instantly put you down in their profound minds as a man who does not understand

"sport."

Yet these very people were tennismad twenty years ago and had night come to interrupt a game of croquet

would have ordered lanterns lighted in order to finish the match so enthralling were its intricacies.

Everybody has known how to play BEZIQUE in this country for years, yet within the last eighteen months,

whole circles of our friends have been seized with a midsummer madness and willingly sat glued to a

cardtable through long hot afternoons and again after dinner until day dawned on their folly.

Certain MEMOIRES of Louis Fifteenth's reign tell of an "unravelling" mania that developed at his court. It

began by some people fraying out old silks to obtain the gold and silver threads from wornout stuffs; this

occupation soon became the rage, nothing could restrain the delirium of destruction, great ladies tore

priceless tapestries from their walls and brocades from their furniture, in order to unravel those materials and

as the old stock did not suffice for the demand thousands were spent on new brocades and velvets, which

were instantly destroyed, entertainments were given where unravelling was the only amusement offered, the

entire court thinking and talking of nothing else for months.


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What is the logical deduction to be drawn from all this? Simply that people do not see with their eyes or

judge with their understandings; that an allpervading hypnotism, an ambient suggestion, at times envelops

us taking from people all free will, and replacing it with the taste and judgment of the moment.

The number of people is small in each generation, who are strong enough to rise above their surroundings and

think for themselves. The rest are as dry leaves on a stream. They float along and turn gayly in the eddies,

convinced all the time (as perhaps are the leaves) that they act entirely from their own volition and that their

movements are having a profound influence on the direction and force of the current.

CHAPTER 10  Bohemia

LUNCHING with a talented English comedian and his wife the other day, the conversation turned on

Bohemia, the evasive noman'sland that Thackeray referred to, in so many of his books, and to which he

looked back lovingly in his later years, when, as he said, he had forgotten the road to Prague.

The lady remarked: "People have been more than kind to us here in New York. We have dined and supped

out constantly, and have met with gracious kindness, such as we can never forget. But so far we have not met

a single painter, or author, or sculptor, or a man who has explored a corner of the earth. Neither have we had

the good luck to find ourselves in the same room with Tesla or Rehan, Edison or Drew. We shall regret so

much when back in England and are asked about your people of talent, being obliged to say, 'We never met

any of them.' Why is it? We have not been in any one circle, and have pitched our tents in many cities, during

our tours over here, but always with the same result. We read your American authors as much as, if not more

than, our own. The names of dozens of your discoverers and painters are household words in England. When

my husband planned his first tour over here my one idea was, 'How nice it will be! Now I shall meet those

delightful people of whom I have heard so much.' The disappointment has been complete. Never one have I

seen."

I could not but feel how all too true were the remarks of this intelligent visitor, remembering how quick the

society of London is to welcome a new celebrity or original character, how a place is at once made for him at

every hospitable board, a permanent one to which he is expected to return; and how no Continental

entertainment is considered complete without some bright particular star to shine in the firmament.

"Lionhunting," I hear my reader say with a sneer. That may be, but it makes society worth the candle, which

it rarely is over here. I realized what I had often vaguely felt before, that the Bohemia the English lady was

looking for was not to be found in this country, more's the pity. Not that the elements are lacking. Far from it,

(for even more than in London should we be able to combine such a society), but perhaps from a

misconception of the true idea of such a society, due probably to Henry Murger's dreary book SCENES DE

LA VIE DE BOHEME which is chargeable with the fact that a circle of this kind evokes in the mind of most

Americans visions of a scrubby, poorlyfed and lesswashed community, a world they would hardly dare ask

to their tables for fear of some embarrassing unconventionality of conduct or dress.

Yet that can hardly be the reason, for even in Murger or Paul de Kock, at their worst, the hero is still a

gentleman, and even when he borrows a friend's coat, it is to go to a great house and among people of rank.

Besides, we are becoming too cosmopolitan, and wander too constantly over this little globe, not to have

learned that the Bohemia of 1830 is as completely a thing of the past as a GRISETTE or a glyphisodon. It

disappeared with Gavarni and the authors who described it. Although we have kept the word, its meaning has

gradually changed until it has come to mean something difficult to define, a willo'thewisp, which one

tries vainly to grasp. With each decade it has put on a new form and changed its centre, the one definite fact

being that it combines the better elements of several social layers.


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Drop in, if you are in Paris and know the way, at one of Madeleine Lemaire's informal evenings in her studio.

There you may find the Prince de Ligne, chatting with Rejane or Coquelin; or Henri d'Orleans, just back from

an expedition into Africa. A little further on, SaintSaens will be running over the keys, preparing an

accompaniment for one of Madame de Tredern's songs. The Princess Mathilde (that passionate lover of art)

will surely be there, and  but it is needless to particularize.

Cross the Channel, and get yourself asked to one of Irving's choice suppers after the play. You will find the

bar, the stage, and the pulpit represented there, a "happy family" over which the "Prince" often presides,

smoking cigar after cigar, until the tardy London daylight appears to break up the entertainment.

For both are centres where the gifted and the travelled meet the great of the social world, on a footing of

perfect equality, and where, if any prestige is accorded, it is that of brains. When you have seen these places

and a dozen others like them, you will realize what the actor's wife had in her mind.

Now, let me whisper to you why I think such circles do not exist in this country. In the first place, we are still

too provincial in this big city of ours. New York always reminds me of a definition I once heard of California

fruit: "Very large, with no particular flavor." We are like a boy, who has had the misfortune to grow too

quickly and look like a man, but whose mind has not kept pace with his body. What he knows is undigested

and chaotic, while his appearance makes you expect more of him than he can give  hence disappointment.

Our society is yet in knickerbockers, and has retained all sorts of littlenesses and prejudices which older

civilizations have long since relegated to the mental lumber room. An equivalent to this point of view you

will find in England or France only in the smaller "cathedral" cities, and even there the old aristocrats have

the courage of their opinions. Here, where everything is quite frankly on a money basis, and "positions" are

made and lost like a fortune, by a turn of the market, those qualities which are purely mental, and on which it

is hard to put a practical value, are naturally at a discount. We are quite ready to pay for the best. Witness our

private galleries and the opera, but we say, like the parvenu in Emile Augier's delightful comedy LE

GENDRE DE M. POIRIER, "Patronize art? Of course! But the artists? Never!" And frankly, it would be too

much, would it not, to expect a family only half a generation away from an iron foundry, or a mine, to be

willing to receive Irving or Bernhardt on terms of perfect equality?

As it would be unjust to demand a mature mind in the overgrown boy, it is useless to hope for delicate tact

and social feeling from the parvenu. To be gracious and at ease with all classes and professions, one must be

perfectly sure of one's own position, and with us few feel this security, it being based on too frail a

foundation, a crisis in the "street" going a long way towards destroying it.

Of course I am generalizing and doubt not that in many cultivated homes the right spirit exists, but

unfortunately these are not the centres which give the tone to our "world." Lately at one of the most splendid

houses in this city a young Italian tenor had been engaged to sing. When he had finished he stood alone,

unnoticed, unspoken to for the rest of the evening. He had been paid to sing. "What more, in common sense,

could he want?" thought the "world," without reflecting that it was probably not the TENOR who lost by that

arrangement. It needs a delicate hand to hold the reins over the backs of such a finemouthed community as

artists and singers form. They rarely give their best when singing or performing in a hostile atmosphere.

A few years ago when a fancydress ball was given at the Academy of Design, the original idea was to have

it an artists' ball; the community of the brush were, however, approached with such a complete lack of tact

that, with hardly an exception, they held aloof, and at the ball shone conspicuous by their absence.

At present in this city I know of but two hospitable firesides where you are sure to meet the best the city

holds of either foreign or native talent. The one is presided over by the wife of a young composer, and the

other, oddly enough, by two unmarried ladies. An invitation to a dinner or a supper at either of these houses is


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as eagerly sought after and as highly prized in the great world as it is by the Bohemians, though neither

"salon" is open regularly.

There is still hope for us, and I already see signs of better things. Perhaps, when my English friend returns in

a few years, we may be able to prove to her that we have found the road to Prague.

CHAPTER 11  Social Exiles

BALZAC, in his COMEDIE HUMAINE, has reviewed with a masterhand almost every phase of the Social

World of Paris down to 1850 and Thackeray left hardly a corner of London High Life unexplored; but so

great have been the changes (progress, its admirers call it,) since then, that, could Balzac come back to his

beloved Paris, he would feel like a foreigner there; and Thackeray, who was among us but yesterday, would

have difficulty in finding his bearings in the sea of the London world today.

We have changed so radically that even a casual observer cannot help being struck by the difference. Among

other most significant "phenomena" has appeared a phase of life that not only neither of these great men

observed (for the very good reason that it had not appeared in their time), but which seems also to have

escaped the notice of the writers of our own day, close observers as they are of any new development. I mean

the class of Social Exiles, pitiable wanderers from home and country, who haunt the Continent, and are to be

found (sad little colonies) in outoftheway corners of almost every civilized country.

To know much of this form of modern life, one must have been a wanderer, like myself, and have pitched his

tent in many queer places; for they are shy game and not easily raised, frequenting mostly quiet old cities like

Versailles and Florence, or inexpensive wateringplaces where their meagre incomes become affluence by

contrast. The first thought on dropping in on such a settlement is, "How in the world did these people ever

drift here?" It is simple enough and generally comes about in this way:

The father of a wealthy family dies. The fortune turns out to be less than was expected. The widow and

children decide to go abroad for a year or so, during their period of mourning, partially for distraction, and

partially (a fact which is not spoken of) because at home they would be forced to change their way of living

to a simpler one, and that is hard to do, just at first. Later they think it will be quite easy. So the family

emigrates, and after a little sightseeing, settles in Dresden or Tours, casually at first, in a hotel. If there are

young children they are made the excuse. "The languages are so important!" Or else one of the daughters

develops a taste for music, or a son takes up the study of art. In a year or two, before a furnished apartment is

taken, the idea of returning is discussed, but abandoned "for the present." They begin vaguely to realize how

difficult it will be to take life up again at home. During all this time their income (like everything else when

the owners are absent) has been slowly but surely disappearing, making the return each year more difficult.

Finally, for economy, an unfurnished apartment is taken. They send home for bits of furniture and family

belongings, and gradually drop into the great army of the expatriated.

Oh, the pathos of it! One who has not seen these poor stranded waifs in their selfimposed exile, with eyes

turned towards their native land, cannot realize all the sadness and loneliness they endure, rarely adopting the

country of their residence but becoming more firmly American as the years go by. The home papers and

periodicals are taken, the American church attended, if there happens to be one; the English chapel, if there is

not. Never a French church! In their hearts they think it almost irreverent to read the service in French. The

acquaintance of a few fellow exiles is made and that of a halfdozen English families, mothers and

daughters and a younger son or two, whom the ferocious primogeniture custom has cast out of the homes of

their childhood to economize on the Continent.

I have in my mind a little settlement of this kind at Versailles, which was a type. The formal old city, fallen

from its grandeur, was a singularly appropriate setting to the little comedy. There the modest purses of the


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exiles found rents within their reach, the quarters vast and airy. The galleries and the park afforded a

diversion, and then Paris, dear Paris, the American Mecca, was within reach. At the time I knew it, the colony

was fairly prosperous, many of its members living in the two or three principal PENSIONS, the others in

apartments of their own. They gave feeble little entertainments among themselves, cardparties and teas, and

dined about with each other at their respective TABLES D'HOTE, even knowing a stray Frenchman or two,

whom the quest of a meal had tempted out of their native fastnesses as it does the wolves in a hard winter.

Writing and receiving letters from America was one of the principal occupations, and an epistle descriptive of

a particular event at home went the rounds, and was eagerly read and discussed.

The merits of the different PENSIONS also formed a subject of vital interest. The advantages and

disadvantages of these rival establishments were, as a topic, never exhausted. MADAME UNE TELLE gave

five o'clock tea, included in the seven francs a day, but her rival gave one more meat course at dinner and her

coffee was certainly better, while a third undoubtedly had a nicer set of people. No one here at home can

realize the importance these matters gradually assume in the eyes of the exiles. Their slender incomes have to

be so carefully handled to meet the strain of even this simple way of living, if they are to show a surplus for a

little trip to the seashore in the summer months, that an extra franc a day becomes a serious consideration.

Every now and then a family strongerminded than the others, or with serious reasons for returning home (a

daughter to bring out or a son to put into business), would break away from its somnolent surroundings and

recross the Atlantic, alternating between hope and fear. It is here that a sad fate awaits these modern Rip

Van Winkles. They find their native cities changed beyond recognition. (For we move fast in these days.) The

mother gets out her visiting list of ten years before and is thunderstruck to find that it contains chiefly names

of the "dead, the divorced, and defaulted." The waves of a decade have washed over her place and the world

she once belonged to knows her no more. The leaders of her day on whose aid she counted have retired from

the fray. Younger, and alas! unknown faces sit in the opera boxes and around the dinner tables where before

she had found only friends. After a feeble little struggle to get again into the "swim," the family drifts back

across the ocean into the quiet back water of a continental town, and goes circling around with the other twigs

and dry leaves, moral flotsam and jetsam, thrown aside by the great rush of the outside world.

For the parents the life is not too sad. They have had their day, and are, perhaps, a little glad in their hearts of

a quiet old age, away from the heat and sweat of the battle; but for the younger generation it is annihilation.

Each year their circle grows smaller. Death takes away one member after another of the family, until one is

left alone in a foreign land with no ties around her, or with her faraway "home," the latter more a name now

than a reality.

A year or two ago I was taking luncheon with our consul at his primitive villa, an hour's ride from the city of

Tangier, a ride made on donkeyback, as no roads exist in that sunny land. After our coffee and cigars, he

took me a halfhour's walk into the wilderness around him to call on his nearest neighbors, whose mode of

existence seemed a source of anxiety to him. I found myself in the presence of two American ladies, the

younger being certainly not less than seventyfive. To my astonishment I found they had been living there

some thirty years, since the death of their parents, in an isolation and remoteness impossible to describe, in an

Arab house, with native servants, "the world forgetting, by the world forgot." Yet these ladies had names well

known in New York fifty years ago.

The glimpse I had of their existence made me thoughtful as I rode home in the twilight, across a suburb none

too safe for strangers. What had the future in store for those two? Or, worse still, for the survivor of those

two? In contrast, I saw a certain humble "home" far away in America, where two old ladies were ending their

lives surrounded by loving friends and relations, honored and cherished and guarded tenderly from the rude

world.


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In big cities like Paris and Rome there is another class of the expatriated, the wealthy who have left their

homes in a moment of pique after the failure of some social or political ambition; and who find in these

centres the recognition refused them at home and for which their souls thirsted.

It is not to these I refer, although it is curious to see a group of people living for years in a country of which

they, half the time, do not speak the language (beyond the necessities of house keeping and shopping),

knowing but few of its inhabitants, and seeing none of the society of the place, their acquaintance rarely

going beyond that equivocal, hybrid class that surrounds rich "strangers" and hangs on to the outer edge of

the GRAND MONDE. One feels for this latter class merely contempt, but one's pity is reserved for the

former. What object lessons some lives on the Continent would be to impatient souls at home, who feel

discontented with their surroundings, and anxious to break away and wander abroad! Let them think twice

before they cut the thousand ties it has taken a lifetime to form. Better monotony at your own fireside, my

friends, where at the worst, you are known and have your place, no matter how small, than an old age among

strangers.

CHAPTER 12  "Seven Ages" of Furniture

THE progress through life of activeminded Americans is apt to be a series of transformations. At each

succeeding phase of mental development, an old skin drops from their growing intelligence, and they

assimilate the ideas and tastes of their new condition, with a facility and completeness unknown to other

nations.

One series of metamorphoses particularly amusing to watch is, that of an observant, receptive daughter of

Uncle Sam who, aided and followed (at a distance) by an adoring husband, gradually develops her excellent

brain, and rises through fathoms of selfculture and purblind experiment, to the surface of dilettantism and

connoisseurship. One can generally detect the exact stage of evolution such a lady has reached by the bent of

her conversation, the books she is reading, and, last but not least, by her material surroundings; no outward

and visible signs reflecting inward and spiritual grace so clearly as the objects people collect around them for

the adornment of their rooms, or the way in which those rooms are decorated.

A few years ago, when a young man and his bride set up housekeeping on their own account, the "old

people" of both families seized the opportunity to unload on the beginners (under the pretence of helping

them along) a quantity of furniture and belongings that had (as the shopkeepers say) "ceased to please" their

original owners. The narrow quarters of the tyros are encumbered by ungainly sofas and armchairs, most

probably of carved rosewood. ETAGERES OF the same lugubrious material grace the corners of their tiny

drawing room, the bits of mirror inserted between the shelves distorting the image of the owners into

headless or limbless phantoms. Half of their little diningroom is filled with a blackwalnut sideboard,

ingeniously contrived to take up as much space as possible and hold nothing, its graceless top adorned with a

stag's head carved in wood and imitation antlers.

The novices in their innocence live contented amid their hideous surroundings for a year or two, when the

wife enters her second epoch, which, for want of a better word, we will call the Japanese period. The grim

furniture gradually disappears under a layer of silk and gauze draperies, the bare walls blossom with paper

umbrellas, fans are nailed in groups promiscuously, wherever an empty space offends her eye. Bows of

ribbon are attached to every possible protuberance of the furniture. Even the table service is not spared. I

remember dining at a house in this stage of its artistic development, where the marrow bones that formed one

course of the dinner appeared each with a coquettish little bowknot of pink ribbon around its neck.

Once launched on this sea of adornment, the housewife soon loses her bearings and decorates

indiscriminately. Her old evening dresses serve to drape the mantelpieces, and she passes every spare hour

embroidering, braiding, or fringing some material to adorn her rooms. At Christmas her friends contribute


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specimens of their handiwork to the collection.

The view of other houses and other decorations before long introduces the worm of discontent into the

blossom of our friend's contentment. The fruit of her labors becomes tasteless on her lips. As the finances of

the family are satisfactory, the re arrangement of the parlor floor is (at her suggestion) confided to a firm of

upholsterers, who make a clean sweep of the rosewood and the bowknots, and retire, after some months of

labor, leaving the delighted wife in possession of a suite of rooms glittering with every monstrosity that an

imaginative tradesman, spurred on by unlimited credit, could devise.

The wood work of the doors and mantels is an intricate puzzle of inlaid woods, the ceilings are panelled and

painted in complicated designs. The "parlor" is provided with a complete set of neat, oldgold satin furniture,

puffed at its angles with peacockcolored plush.

The monumental folding doors between the long, narrow rooms are draped with the same chaste combination

of stuffs.

The diningroom blazes with a gold and purple wall paper, set off by ebonized wood work and furniture. The

conscientious contractor has neglected no corner. Every square inch of the ceilings, walls, and floors has been

carved, embossed, stencilled, or gilded into a bewildering monotony.

The husband, whose affairs are rapidly increasing on his hands, has no time to attend to such insignificant

details as house decoration, the wife has perfect confidence in the taste of the firm employed. So at the

suggestion of the latter, and in order to complete the beauty of the rooms, a Bouguereau, a Toulmouche and a

couple of Schreyers are bought, and a number of modern French bronzes scattered about on the multicolored

cabinets. Then, at last, the happy owners of all this splendor open their doors to the admiration of their

friends.

About the time the peacock plush and the gilding begin to show signs of wear and tear, rumors of a fresh

fashion in decoration float across from England, and the new gospel of the beautiful according to Clarence

Cook is first preached to an astonished nation.

The fortune of our couple continuing to develop with pleasing rapidity, the building of a country house is

next decided upon. A friend of the husband, who has recently started out as an architect, designs them a

picturesque residence without a straight line on its exterior or a square room inside. This house is done up in

strict obedience to the teachings of the new sect. The diningroom is made about as cheerful as the entrance

to a family vault. The rest of the house bears a close resemblance to an ecclesiastical junk shop. The entrance

hall is filled with what appears to be a communion table in solid oak, and the massive chairs and settees of

the parlor suggest the withdrawing room of Rowena, aesthetic shades of momiecloth drape deepset

windows, where anaemic and disjointed females in stained glass pluck conventional roses.

To each of these successive transitions the husband has remained obediently and tranquilly indifferent. He

has in his heart considered them all equally unfitting and uncomfortable and sighed in regretful memory of a

deep, oldfashioned armchair that sheltered his afterdinner naps in the early rosewood period. So far he

has been as clay in the hands of his beloved wife, but the anaemic ladies and the communion table are the last

drop that causes his cup to overflow. He revolts and begins to take matters into his own hands with the result

that the household enters its fifth incarnation under his guidance, during which everything is painted white

and all the wallpapers are a vivid scarlet. The family sit on bogus Chippendale and eat off blue and white

china.

With the building of their grand new house near the park the couple rise together into the sixth cycle of their

development. Having travelled and studied the epochs by this time, they can tell a Louis XIV. from a Louis


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XV. room, and recognize that mahogany and brass sphinxes denote furniture of the Empire. This newly

acquired knowledge is, however, vague and hazy. They have no confidence in themselves, so give over the

fitting of their principal floors to the New York branch of a great French house. Little is talked of now but

periods, plans, and elevations. Under the guidance of the French firm, they acquire at vast expense, faked

reproductions as historic furniture.

The spacious rooms are sticky with new gilding, and the flowered brocades of the hangings and furniture

crackle to the touch. The rooms were not designed by the architect to receive any special kind of "treatment."

Immense foldingdoors unite the salons, and windows open anywhere. The decorations of the walls have

been applied like a poultice, regardless of the proportions of the rooms and the distribution of the spaces.

Building and decorating are, however, the best of educations. The husband, freed at last from his business

occupations, finds in this new study an interest and a charm unknown to him before. He and his wife are both

vaguely disappointed when their resplendent mansion is finished, having already outgrown it, and recognize

that in spite of correct detail, their costly apartments no more resemble the stately and simple salons seen

abroad than the cabin of a Fall River boat resembles the GALERIE DES GLACES at Versailles. The

humiliating knowledge that they are all wrong breaks upon them, as it is doing on hundreds of others, at the

same time as the desire to know more and appreciate better the perfect productions of this art.

A seventh and last step is before them but they know not how to make it. A surer guide than the upholsterer

is, they know, essential, but their library contains nothing to help them. Others possess the information they

need, yet they are ignorant where to turn for what they require.

With singular appropriateness a volume treating of this delightful "art" has this season appeared at Scribner's.

"The Decoration of Houses" is the result of a woman's faultless taste collaborating with a man's technical

knowledge. Its mission is to reveal to the hundreds who have advanced just far enough to find that they can

go no farther alone, truths lying concealed beneath the surface. It teaches that consummate taste is satisfied

only with a perfected simplicity; that the facades of a house must be the envelope of the rooms within and

adapted to them, as the rooms are to the habits and requirements of them "that dwell therein;" that proportion

is the backbone of the decorator's art and that supreme elegance is fitness and moderation; and, above all, that

an attention to architectural principles can alone lead decoration to a perfect development.

CHAPTER 13  Our Elite and Public Life

THE complaint is so often heard, and seems so well founded, that there is a growing inclination, not only

among men of social position, but also among our best and cleverest citizens, to stand aloof from public life,

and this reluctance on their part is so unfortunate, that one feels impelled to seek out the causes where they

must lie, beneath the surface. At a first glance they are not apparent. Why should not the honor of

representing one's town or locality be as eagerly sought after with us as it is by English or French men of

position? That such is not the case, however, is evident.

Speaking of this the other evening, over my afterdinner coffee, with a highminded and publicspirited

gentleman, who not long ago represented our country at a European court, he advanced two theories which

struck me as being well worth repeating, and which seemed to account to a certain extent for this curious

abstinence.

As a first and most important cause, he placed the fact that neither our national nor (here in New York) our

state capital coincides with our metropolis. In this we differ from England and all the continental countries.

The result is not difficult to perceive. In London, a man of the world, a business man, or a great lawyer, who

represents a locality in Parliament, can fulfil his mandate and at the same time lead his usual life among his

own set. The lawyer or the business man can follow during the day his profession, or those affairs on which


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he depends to support his family and his position in the world. Then, after dinner (owing to the peculiar hours

adopted for the sittings of Parliament), he can take his place as a lawmaker. If he be a Londonborn man, he

in no way changes his way of life or that of his family. If, on the contrary, he be a county magnate, the

change he makes is all for the better, as it takes him and his wife and daughters up to London, the haven of

their longings, and the centre of all sorts of social dissipations and advancement.

With us, it is exactly the contrary. As the District of Columbia elects no one, everybody living in Washington

officially is more or less expatriated, and the social life it offers is a poor substitute for the circle which most

families leave to go there.

That, however, is not the most important side of the question. Go to any great lawyer of either New York or

Chicago, and propose sending him to Congress or the Senate. His answer is sure to be, "I cannot afford it. I

know it is an honor, but what is to replace the hundred thousand dollars a year which my profession brings

me in, not to mention that all my practice would go to pieces during my absence?" Or again, "How should I

dare to propose to my family to leave one of the great centres of the country to go and vegetate in a little

provincial city like Washington? No, indeed! Public life is out of the question for me!"

Does any one suppose England would have the class of men she gets in Parliament, if that body sat at

Bristol?

Until recently the man who occupied the position of Lord Chancellor made thirty thousand pounds a year by

his profession without interfering in any way with his public duties, and at the present moment a recordership

in London in no wise prevents private practice. Were these gentlemen Americans, they would be obliged to

renounce all hope of professional income in order to serve their country at its Capital.

Let us glance for a moment at the other reason. Owing to our laws (doubtless perfectly reasonable, and which

it is not my intention to criticise,) a man must reside in the place he represents. Here again we differ from all

other constitutional countries. Unfortunately, our clever young men leave the small towns of their birth and

flock up to the great centres as offering wider fields for their advancement. In consequence, the local elector

finds his choice limited to what is left  the intellectual skimmed milk, of which the cream has been carried

to New York or other big cities. No country can exist without a metropolis, and as such a centre by a natural

law of assimilation absorbs the best brains of the country, in other nations it has been found to the interests of

all parties to send down brilliant young men to the "provinces," to be, in good time, returned by them to the

national assemblies.

As this is not a political article the simple indication of these two causes will suffice, without entering into the

question of their reasonableness or of their justice. The social bearing of such a condition is here the only side

of the question under discussion; it is difficult to overrate the influence that a man's family exert over his

decisions.

Political ambition is exceedingly rare among our women of position; when the American husband is bitten

with it, the wife submits to, rather than abets, his inclinations. In most cases our women are not cosmopolitan

enough to enjoy being transplanted far away from their friends and relations, even to fill positions of

importance and honor. A New York woman of great frankness and intelligence, who found herself recently in

a Western city under these circumstances, said, in answer to a flattering remark that "the ladies of the place

expected her to become their social leader," "I don't see anything to lead," thus very plainly expressing her

opinion of the situation. It is hardly fair to expect a woman accustomed to the life of New York or the foreign

capitals, to look forward with enthusiasm to a term of years passed in Albany, or in Washington.

In France very much the same state of affairs has been reached by quite a different route. The aristocracy

detest the present government, and it is not considered "good form" by them to sit in the Chamber of


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Deputies or to accept any but diplomatic positions. They condescend to fill the latter because that entails

living away from their own country, as they feel more at ease in foreign courts than at the Republican

receptions of the Elysee.

There is a deplorable tendency among our selfstyled aristocracy to look upon their circle as a class apart.

They separate themselves more each year from the life of the country, and affect to smile at any of their

number who honestly wish to be of service to the nation. They, like the French aristocracy, are perfectly

willing, even anxious, to fill agreeable diplomatic posts at firstclass foreign capitals, and are naively

astonished when their offers of service are not accepted with gratitude by the authorities in Washington. But

let a husband propose to his better half some humble position in the machinery of our government, and see

what the lady's answer will be.

The opinion prevails among a large class of our wealthy and cultivated people, that to go into public life is to

descend to duties beneath them. They judge the men who occupy such positions with insulting severity,

classing them in their minds as corrupt and selfseeking, than which nothing can be more childish or more

imbecile. Any observer who has lived in the different grades of society will quickly renounce the puerile idea

that sporting or intellectual pursuits are alone worthy of a gentleman's attention. This very political life,

which appears unworthy of their attention to so many men, is, in reality, the great field where the nations of

the world fight out their differences, where the seed is sown that will ripen later into vast crops of truth and

justice. It is (if rightly regarded and honestly followed) the battleground where man's highest qualities are

put to their noblest use  that of working for the happiness of others.

CHAPTER 14  The Small Summer Hotel

WE certainly are the most eccentric race on the surface of the globe and ought to be a delight to the soul of an

explorer, so full is our civilization of contradictions, unexplained habits and curious customs. It is quite

unnecessary for the inquisitive gentlemen who pass their time prying into other people's affairs and then

returning home to write books about their discoveries, to risk their lives and digestions in long journeys into

Central Africa or to the frozen zones, while so much good material lies ready to their hands in our own land.

The habits of the "natives" in New England alone might occupy an active mind indefinitely, offering as

interesting problems as any to be solved by penetrating Central Asia or visiting the maneating tribes of

Australia.

Perhaps one of our scientific celebrities, before undertaking his next long voyage, will find time to make

observations at home and collect sufficient data to answer some questions that have long puzzled my

unscientific brain. He would be doing good work. Fame and honors await the man who can explain why, for

instance, sane Americans of the better class, with money enough to choose their surroundings, should pass so

much of their time in hotels and boarding houses. There must be a reason for the vogue of these retreats 

every action has a cause, however remote. I shall await with the deepest interest a paper on this subject from

one of our great explorers, untoward circumstances having some time ago forced me to pass a few days in a

popular establishment of this class.

During my visit I amused myself by observing the inmates and trying to discover why they had come there.

So far as I could find out, the greater part of them belonged to our welltodo class, and when at home

doubtless lived in luxurious houses and were waited on by trained servants. In the small summer hotel where

I met them, they were living in dreary little ten by twelve foot rooms, containing only the absolute necessities

of existence, a washstand, a bureau, two chairs and a bed. And such a bed! One mattress about four inches

thick over squeaking slats, cotton sheets, so nicely calculated to the size of the bed that the slightest move on

the part of the sleeper would detach them from their moorings and undo the housemaid's work; two limp,

discouraged pillows that had evidently been "banting," and a few towels a foot long with a surface like

sandpaper, completed the fittings of the room. Baths were unknown, and hot water was a luxury distributed


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sparingly by a capricious handmaiden. It is only fair to add that everything in the room was perfectly clean, as

was the coarse table linen in the dining room.

The meals were in harmony with the rooms and furniture, consisting only of the strict necessities, cooked

with a Spartan disregard for such sybarite foibles as seasoning or dressing. I believe there was a substantial

meal somewhere in the early morning hours, but I never succeeded in getting down in time to inspect it. By

successful bribery, I induced one of the village belles, who served at table, to bring a cup of coffee to my

room. The first morning it appeared already poured out in the cup, with sugar and cold milk added at her

discretion. At one o'clock a dinner was served, consisting of soup (occasionally), one meat dish and attendant

vegetables, a meagre dessert, and nothing else. At halfpast six there was an equally rudimentary meal, called

"tea," after which no further food was distributed to the inmates, who all, however, seemed perfectly

contented with this arrangement. In fact they apparently looked on the act of eating as a disagreeable task, to

be hurried through as soon as possible that they might return to their aimless rocking and chattering.

Instead of dinner hour being the feature of the day, uniting people around an attractive table, and attended by

conversation, and the meal lasting long enough for one's food to be properly eaten, it was rushed through as

though we were all trying to catch a train. Then, when the meal was over, the boarders relapsed into apathy

again.

No one ever called this hospitable home a boardinghouse, for the proprietor was furious if it was given that

name. He also scorned the idea of keeping a hotel. So that I never quite understood in what relation he stood

toward us. He certainly considered himself our host, and ignored the financial side of the question severely.

In order not to hurt his feelings by speaking to him of money, we were obliged to get our bills by strategy

from a male subordinate. Mine host and his family were apparently unaware that there were people under

their roof who paid them for board and lodging. We were all looked upon as guests and "entertained," and our

rights impartially ignored.

Nothing, I find, is so distinctive of New England as this graceful veiling of the practical side of life. The

landlady always reminded me, by her manner, of Barrie's description of the bill sticker's wife who "cut" her

husband when she chanced to meet him "professionally" engaged. As a result of this extreme detachment

from things material, the house ran itself, or was run by incompetent Irish and negro "help." There were no

bells in the rooms, which simplified the service, and nothing could be ordered out of meal hours.

The material defects in board and lodging sink, however, into insignificance before the moral and social

unpleasantness of an establishment such as this. All ages, all conditions, and all creeds are promiscuously

huddled together. It is impossible to choose whom one shall know or whom avoid. A horrible burlesque of

family life is enabled, with all its inconveniences and none of its sanctity. People from different cities, with

different interests and standards, are expected to "chum" together in an intimacy that begins with the eight

o'clock breakfast and ends only when all retire for the night. No privacy, no isolation is allowed. If you take a

book and begin to read in a remote corner of a parlor or piazza, some idle matron or idiotic girl will tranquilly

invade your poor little bit of privacy and gabble of her affairs and the day's gossip. There is no escape unless

you mount to your tenby twelve cell and sit (like the Premiers of England when they visit Balmoral) on the

bed, to do your writing, for want of any other conveniences. Even such retirement is resented by the boarders.

You are thought to be haughty and to give yourself airs if you do not sit for twelve consecutive hours each

day in unending conversation with them.

When one reflects that thousands of our countrymen pass at least onehalf of their lives in these asylums, and

that thousands more in America know no other homes, but move from one hotel to another, while the same

outlay would procure them cosy, cheerful dwellings, it does seem as if these modern Arabs, Holmes's

"Folding Bed ouins," were gradually returning to prehistoric habits and would end by eating roots

promiscuously in caves.


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The contradiction appears more marked the longer one reflects on the love of independence and impatience

of all restraint that characterize our race. If such an institution had been conceived by people of the Old

World, accustomed to moral slavery and to a thousand petty tyrannies, it would not be so remarkable, but that

we, of all the races of the earth, should have created a form of torture unknown to Louis XI. or to the Spanish

Inquisitors, is indeed inexplicable! Outside of this happy land the institution is unknown. The PENSION

when it exists abroad, is only an exotic growth for an American market. Among European nations it is

undreamed of; the poorest when they travel take furnished rooms, where they are served in private, or go to

restaurants or TABLE D'HOTES for their meals. In a strictly continental hotel the public parlor does not

exist. People do not travel to make acquaintances, but for health or recreation, or to improve their minds. The

enforced intimacy of our American family house, with its attendant quarrelling and backbiting, is an

infliction of which Europeans are in happy ignorance.

One explanation, only, occurs to me, which is that among New England people, largely descended from

Puritan stock, there still lingers some blind impulse at selfmortification, an hereditary inclination to make

this life as disagreeable as possible by self immolation. Their ancestors, we are told by Macaulay,

suppressed bull baiting, not because it hurt the bull, but because it gave pleasure to the people. Here in New

England they refused the Roman dogma of Purgatory and then with complete inconsistency, invented the

boardinghouse, in order, doubtless, to take as much of the joy as possible out of this life, as a preparation for

endless bliss in the next.

CHAPTER 15  A False Start

HAVING had, during a wandering existence, many opportunities of observing my compatriots away from

home and familiar surroundings in various circles of cosmopolitan society, at foreign courts, in diplomatic

life, or unofficial capacities, I am forced to acknowledge that whereas my countrywoman invariably assumed

her new position with grace and dignity, my countryman, in the majority of cases, appeared at a disadvantage.

I take particular pleasure in making this tribute to my "sisters" tact and wit, as I have been accused of being

"hard" on American women, and some halfhumorous criticisms have been taken seriously by

oversusceptible women  doubtless troubled with guilty consciences for nothing is more exact than the old

French proverb, "It is only the truth that wounds."

The fact remains clear, however, that American men, as regards polish, facility in expressing themselves in

foreign languages, the arts of pleasing and entertaining, in short, the thousand and one nothings composing

that agreeable whole, a cultivated member of society, are inferior to their womankind. I feel sure that all

Americans who have travelled and have seen their compatriot in his social relations with foreigners, will

agree with this, reluctant as I am to acknowledge it.

That a sister and brother brought up together, under the same influences, should later differ to this extent

seems incredible. It is just this that convinces me we have made a false start as regards the education and

ambitions of our young men.

To find the reasons one has only to glance back at our past. After the struggle that insured our existence as a

united nation, came a period of great prosperity. When both seemed secure, we did not pause and take breath,

as it were, before entering a new epoch of development, but dashed ahead on the old lines. It is here that we

got on the wrong road. Naturally enough too, for our peculiar position on this continent, far away from the

centres of cultivation and art, surrounded only by less successful states with which to compare ourselves, has

led us into forming erroneous ideas as to the proportions of things, causing us to exaggerate the value of

material prosperity and undervalue matters of infinitely greater importance, which have been neglected in

consequence.


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A man who, after fighting through our late war, had succeeded in amassing a fortune, naturally wished his

son to follow him on the only road in which it had ever occurred to him that success was of any importance.

So beyond giving the boy a college education, which he had not enjoyed, his ambition rarely went; his idea

being to make a practical business man of him, or a lawyer, that he could keep the estate together more

intelligently. In thousands of cases, of course, individual taste and bent overruled this influence, and a career

of science or art was chosen; but in the mass of the American people, it was firmly implanted that the pursuit

of wealth was the only occupation to which a reasonable human being could devote himself. A young man

who was not in some way engaged in increasing his income was looked upon as a very undesirable member

of society, and sure, sooner or later, to come to harm.

Millionaires declined to send their sons to college, saying they would get ideas there that would unfit them

for business, to Paterfamilias the one object of life. Under such fostering influences, the ambitions in our

country have gradually given way to money standards and the false start has been made! Leaving aside at

once the question of money in its relation to our politics (although it would be a fruitful subject for

moralizing), and confining ourselves strictly to the social side of life, we soon see the results of this mammon

worship.

In England (although Englishmen have been contemptuously called the shopkeepers of the world) the

extension and maintenance of their vast empire is the mainspring which keeps the great machine in

movement. And one sees tens of thousands of wellborn and delicatelybred men cheerfully entering the

many branches of public service where the hope of wealth can never come, and retiring on pensions or

halfpay in the strength of their middle age, apparently without a regret or a thought beyond their country's

wellbeing.

In France, where the passionate love of their own land has made colonial extension impossible, the modern

Frenchman of education is more interested in the yearly exhibition at the SALON or in a successful play at

the FRANCAIS, than in the stock markets of the world.

Would that our young men had either of these bents! They have copied from England a certain love of sport,

without the English climate or the calm of country and garrison life, to make these sports logical and

necessary. As the young American millionaire thinks he must go on increasing his fortune, we see the

anomaly of a man working through a summer's day in Wall Street, then dashing in a train to some suburban

club, and appearing a halfhour later on the polo field. Next to wealth, sport has become the ambition of the

wealthy classes, and has grown so into our college life that the number of students in the freshman class of

our great universities is seriously influenced by that institution's losses or gains at football.

What is the result of all this? A young man starts in life with the firm intention of making a great deal of

money. If he has any time left from that occupation he will devote it to sport. Later in life, when he has

leisure and travels, or is otherwise thrown with cultivated strangers, he must naturally be at a disadvantage.

"Shop," he cannot talk; he knows that is vulgar. Music, art, the drama, and literature are closed books to him,

in spite of the fact that he may have a box on the grand tier at the opera and a couple of dozen highpriced

"masterpieces" hanging around his drawing rooms. If he is of a finer clay than the general run of his class,

he will realize dimly that somehow the goal has been missed in his life race. His chase after the material has

left him so little time to cultivate the ideal, that he has prepared himself a sad and aimless old age; unless he

can find pleasure in doing as did a man I have been told about, who, receiving half a dozen millions from his

father's estate, conceived the noble idea of increasing them so that he might leave to each of his four children

as much as he had himself received. With the strictest economy, and by suppressing out of his life and that of

his children all amusements and superfluous outlay, he has succeeded now for many years in living on the

income of his income. Time will never hang heavy on this Harpagon's hands. He is a perfectly happy

individual, but his conversation is hardly of a kind to attract, and it may be doubted if the rest of the family

are as much to be envied.


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An artist who had lived many years of his life in Paris and London was speaking the other day of a curious

phase he had remarked in our American life. He had been accustomed over there to have his studio the

meetingplace of friends, who would drop in to smoke and lounge away an hour, chatting as he worked. To

his astonishment, he tells me that since he has been in New York not one of the many men he knows has ever

passed an hour in his rooms. Is not that a significant fact? Another remark which points its own moral was

repeated to me recently. A foreigner visiting here, to whom American friends were showing the sights of our

city, exclaimed at last: "You have not pointed out to me any celebrities except millionaires. 'Do you see that

man? he is worth ten millions. Look at that house! it cost one million dollars, and there are pictures in it

worth over three million dollars. That trotter cost one hundred thousand dollars,' etc." Was he not right? And

does it not give my reader a shudder to see in black and white the phrases that are, nevertheless, so often on

our lips?

This levelling of everything to its cash value is so ingrained in us that we are unconscious of it, as we are of

using slang or local expressions until our attention is called to them. I was present once at a farce played in a

London theatre, where the audience went into roars of laughter every time the stage American said, "Why,

certainly." I was indignant, and began explaining to my English friend that we never used such an absurd

phrase. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Why, certainly," I said, and stopped, catching the twinkle in his eye.

It is very much the same thing with money. We do not notice how often it slips into the conversation. "Out of

the fullness of the heart the mouth speaketh." Talk to an American of a painter and the charm of his work. He

will be sure to ask, "Do his pictures sell well?" and will lose all interest if you say he can't sell them at all. As

if that had anything to do with it!

Remembering the wellknown anecdote of Schopenhauer and the gold piece which he used to put beside his

plate at the TABLE D'HOTE, where he ate, surrounded by the young officers of the German army, and which

was to be given to the poor the first time he heard any conversation that was not about promotion or women, I

have been tempted to try the experiment in our clubs, changing the subjects to stocks and sport, and feel

confident that my contributions to charity would not ruin me.

All this has had the result of making our men dull companions; after dinner, or at a country house, if the

subject they love is tabooed, they talk of nothing! It is sad for a rich man (unless his mind has remained

entirely between the leaves of his ledger) to realize that money really buys very little, and above a certain

amount can give no satisfaction in proportion to its bulk, beyond that delight which comes from a sense of

possession. Croesus often discovers as he grows old that he has neglected to provide himself with the only

thing that "is a joy for ever"  a cultivated intellect  in order to amass a fortune that turns to ashes, when he

has time to ask of it any of the pleasures and resources he fondly imagined it would afford him. Like

Talleyrand's young man who would not learn whist, he finds that he has prepared for himself a dreadful old

age!

CHAPTER 16  A Holy Land

NOT long ago an article came under my notice descriptive of the neighborhood around Grant's tomb and the

calm that midsummer brings to that vicinity, laughingly referred to as the "Holy Land."

As careless fingers wandering over the strings of a violin may unintentionally strike a chord, so the writer of

those lines, all unconsciously, with a jest, set vibrating a world of tender memories and associations; for the

region spoken of is truly a holy land to me, the playground of my youth, and connected with the sweetest ties

that can bind one's thoughts to the past.

Ernest Renan in his SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE, tells of a Brittany legend, firmly believed in that wild land,

of the vanished city of "Is," which ages ago disappeared beneath the waves. The peasants still point out at a


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certain place on the coast the site of the fabled city, and the fishermen tell how during great storms they have

caught glimpses of its belfries and ramparts far down between the waves; and assert that on calm summer

nights they can hear the bells chiming up from those depths. I also have a vanished "Is" in my heart, and as I

grow older, I love to listen to the murmurs that float up from the past. They seem to come from an infinite

distance, almost like echoes from another life.

At that enchanted time we lived during the summers in an old wooden house my father had rearranged into

a fairly comfortable dwelling. A tradition, which no one had ever taken the trouble to verify, averred that

Washington had once lived there, which made that hero very real to us. The picturesque old house stood high

on a slope where the land rises boldly; with an admirable view of distant mountain, river and opposing

Palisades.

The new Riverside drive (which, by the bye, should make us very lenient toward the men who robbed our

city a score of years ago, for they left us that vast work in atonement), has so changed the neighborhood it is

impossible now for pious feet to make a pilgrimage to those childish shrines. One house, however, still stands

as when it was our nearest neighbor. It had sheltered General Gage, land for many acres around had belonged

to him. He was an enthusiastic gardener, and imported, among a hundred other fruits and plants, the "Queen

Claude" plum from France, which was successfully acclimated on his farm. In New York a plum of that kind

is still called a "green gage." The house has changed hands many times since we used to play around the

Grecian pillars of its portico. A recent owner, dissatisfied doubtless with its classic simplicity, has painted it a

cheerful mustard color and crowned it with a fine new MANSARD roof. Thus disfigured, and shorn of its

surrounding trees, the poor old house stands blankly by the roadside, reminding one of the Greek statue in

Anstey's "Painted Venus" after the London barber had decorated her to his taste. When driving by there now,

I close my eyes.

Another house, where we used to be taken to play, was that of Audubon, in the park of that name. Many a

rainy afternoon I have passed with his children choosing our favorite birds in the glass cases that filled every

nook and corner of the tumbledown old place, or turning over the leaves of the enormous volumes he would

so graciously take down from their places for our amusement. I often wonder what has become of those vast

INFOLIOS, and if any one ever opens them now and admires as we did the glowing colored plates in which

the old ornithologist took such pride. There is something infinitely sad in the idea of a collection of books

slowly gathered together at the price of privations and sacrifices, cherished, fondled, lovingly read, and then

at the owner's death, coldly sent away to stand for ever unopened on the shelves of some public library. It is

like neglecting poor dumb children!

An event that made a profound impression on my childish imagination occurred while my father, who was

never tired of improving our little domain, was cutting a pathway down the steep side of the slope to the

river. A great slab, dislodged by a workman's pick, fell disclosing the grave of an Indian chief. In a low

archway or shallow cave sat the skeleton of the chieftain, his bows and arrows arranged around him on the

ground, mingled with fragments of an elaborate costume, of which little remained but the beadwork. That it

was the tomb of a man great among his people was evident from the care with which the grave had been

prepared and then hidden, proving how, hundreds of years before our civilization, another race had chosen

this noble cliff and stately river landscape as the fitting framework for a great warrior's tomb.

This discovery made no little stir in the scientific world of that day. Hundreds came to see it, and as

photography had not then come into the world, many drawings were made and casts taken, and finally the

whole thing was removed to the rooms of the Historical Society. From that day the lonely little path held an

awful charm for us. Our childish readings of Cooper had developed in us that love of the Indian and his wild

life, so characteristic of boyhood thirty years ago. On still summer afternoons, the place had a primeval calm

that froze the young blood in our veins. Although we prided ourselves on our quality as "braves," and secretly

pined to be led on the warpath, we were shy of walking in that vicinity in daylight, and no power on earth,


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not even the offer of the tomahawk or snowshoes for which our souls longed, would have taken us there at

night.

A place connected in my memory with a tragic association was across the river on the last southern slope of

the Palisades. Here we stood breathless while my father told the brief story of the duel between Burr and

Hamilton, and showed us the rock stained by the younger man's lifeblood. In those days there was a simple

iron railing around the spot where Hamilton had expired, but of later years I have been unable to find any

trace of the place. The tide of immigration has brought so deep a deposit of "saloons" and suburban "balls"

that the very face of the land is changed, old lovers of that shore know it no more. Never were the environs of

a city so wantonly and recklessly degraded. Municipalities have vied with millionaires in soiling and

debasing the exquisite shores of our river, that, thirty years ago, were unrivalled the world over.

The glamour of the past still lies for me upon this landscape in spite of its many defacements. The river

whispers of boyish boating parties, and the woods recall a thousand childish hopes and fears, resolute

departures to join the pirates, or the red men in their strongholds  journeys boldly carried out until twilight

cooled our courage and the supperhour proved a stronger temptation than war and carnage.

When I sat down this summer evening to write a few lines about happy days on the banks of the Hudson, I

hardly realized how sweet those memories were to me. The rewriting of the old names has evoked from their

long sleep so many loved faces. Arms seem reaching out to me from the past. The house is very still tonight. I

seem to be nearer my loved dead than to the living. The bells of my lost "Is" are ringing clear in the silence.

CHAPTER 17  Royalty At Play

FEW more amusing sights are to be seen in these days, than that of crowned heads running away from their

dull old courts and functions, roughing it in hotels and villas, gambling, yachting and playing at being rich

nobodies. With much intelligence they have all chosen the same Republican playground, where visits cannot

possibly be twisted into meaning any new "combination" or political move, thus assuring themselves the

freedom from care or responsibility, that seems to be the aim of their existence. Alongside of welltodo

Royalties in good paying situations, are those out of a job, who are looking about for a "place." One cannot

take an afternoon's ramble anywhere between Cannes and Mentone without meeting a halfdozen of these

magnates.

The other day, in one short walk, I ran across three Empresses, two Queens, and an Heirapparent, and then

fled to my hotel, fearing to be unfitted for America, if I went on "keeping such company." They are knowing

enough, these wandering great ones, and after trying many places have hit on this charming coast as offering

more than any other for their comfort and enjoyment. The vogue of these sunny shores dates from their

annexation to France,  a price Victor Emmanuel reluctantly paid for French help in his war with Austria.

Napoleon III.'s demand for Savoy and this littoral, was first made known to Victor Emmanuel at a state ball

at Genoa. Savoy was his birthplace and his home! The King broke into a wild temper, cursing the French

Emperor and making insulting allusions to his parentage, saying he had not one drop of Bonaparte blood in

his veins. The King's frightened courtiers tried to stop this outburst, showing him the French Ambassador at

his elbow. With a superhuman effort Victor Emmanuel controlled himself, and turning to the Ambassador,

said:

"I fear my tongue ran away with me!" With a smile and a bow the great French diplomatist remarked:

"SIRE, I am so deaf I have not heard a word your Majesty has been saying!"

The fashion of coming to the Riviera for health or for amusement, dates from the sixties, when the Empress

of Russia passed a winter at Nice, as a last attempt to prolong the existence of the dying Tsarewitsch, her son.


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There also the next season the Duke of Edinburgh wooed and won her daughter (then the greatest heiress in

Europe) for his bride. The world moves fast and a journey it required a matter of life and death to decide on,

then, is gayly undertaken now, that a prince may race a yacht, or a princess try her luck at the gambling

tables. When one reflects that the "royal caste," in Europe alone, numbers some eight hundred people, and

that the East is beginning to send out its more enterprising crowned heads to get a taste of the fun, that

beyond drawing their salaries, these good people have absolutely nothing to do, except to amuse themselves,

it is no wonder that this happy land is crowded with royal pleasureseekers.

After a try at Florence and Aix, "the Queen" has been faithful to Cimiez, a charming site back of Nice. That

gay city is always EN FETE the day she arrives, as her carriages pass surrounded by French cavalry, one can

catch a glimpse of her big face, and dowdy little figure, which nevertheless she can make so dignified when

occasion requires. The stay here is, indeed, a holiday for this recordbreaking sovereign, who potters about

her private grounds of a morning in a donkeychair, sunning herself and watching her Battenberg

grandchildren at play. In the afternoon, she drives a couple of hours  in an open carriage  one outrider in

black livery alone distinguishing her turnout from the others.

The Prince of Wales makes his headquarters at Cannes where he has poor luck in sailing the Brittania, for

which he consoles himself with jolly dinners at Monte Carlo. You can see him almost any evening in the

RESTAURANT DE PARIS, surrounded by his own particular set,  the Duchess of Devonshire (who started

a penniless German officer's daughter, and became twice a duchess); Lady de Grey and Lady Wolverton,

both showing near six feet of slender English beauty; at their side, and lovelier than either, the Countess of

Essex. The husbands of these "Merry Wives" are absent, but do not seem to be missed, as the ladies sit

smoking and laughing over their coffee, the party only breaking up towards eleven o'clock to try its luck at

TRENTE ET QUARANTE, until a "special" takes them back to Cannes.

He is getting sadly old and fat, is England's heir, the likeness to his mamma becoming more marked each

year. His voice, too, is oddly like hers, deep and guttural, more adapted to the paternal German (which all this

family speak when alone) than to his native English. Hair, he has none, except a little fringe across the back

of his head, just above a fine large roll of fat that blushes above his shirtcollar. Too bad that this discovery

of the microbe of baldness comes rather late for him! He has a pleasant twinkle in his small eyes, and an

entire absence of POSE, that accounts largely for his immense and enduring popularity.

But the Hotel Cap Martin shelters quieter crowned heads. The Emperor and Empress of Austria, who tramp

about the hilly roads, the King and Queen of Saxony and the fat Archduchess Stephanie. Austria's Empress

looks sadly changed and ill, as does another lady of whom one can occasionally catch a glimpse, walking

painfully with a crutchstick in the shadow of the trees near her villa. It is hard to believe that this

whitehaired, bent old woman was once the imperial beauty who from the salons of the Tuileries dictated the

fashions of the world! Few have paid so dearly for their brief hour of splendor!

Cannes with its excellent harbor is the centre of interest during the racing season when the Tsarewitsch comes

on his yacht Czaritza. At the Battle of Flowers, one is pretty sure to see the Duke of Cambridge, his Imperial

Highness, the Grand Duke Michael, Prince Christian of Denmark, H.R.H. the Duke of Nassau, H.R.H. the

Archduke Ferdinand d'Este, their Serene Highnesses of Mecklenburg Schwerin and the

SaxeCoburgGothas, also H.R.H. Marie Valerie and the SchleswigHolsteins, pelting each other and the

public with CONFETTI and flowers. Indeed, half the A1MANACH DE GOTHA, that continental "society

list," seems to be sunning itself here and forgetting its cares, on bicycles or on board yachts. It is said that the

Crown Princess of Honolulu (whoever she may be) honors Mentone with her presence, and the newly

deposed Queen "Ranavalo" of Madagascar is EN ROUTE to join in the fun.

This crowd of royalty reminds me of a story the old seadogs who gather about the "Admirals' corner" of the

Metropolitan Club in Washington, love to tell you. An American cockswain, dazzled by a doubly royal visit,


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with attending suites, on board the old "Constitution," came up to his commanding officer and touching his

cap, said:

"Beg pardon, Admiral, but one of them kings has tumbled down the gangway and broke his leg."

It has become a much more amusing thing to wear a crown than it was. Times have changed indeed since

Marie Laczinska lived the fifty lonely years of her wedded life and bore her many children, in one bedroom

at Versailles  a monotony only broken by visits to Fontainebleau or Marly. Shakespeare's line no longer fits

the case.

Beyond securing rich matches for their children, and keeping a sharp lookout that the Radicals at home do not

unduly cut down their civil lists, these great ones have little but their amusements to occupy them. Do they

ever reflect, as they rush about visiting each other and squabbling over precedence when they meet, that some

fine morning the taxpayers may wake up, and ask each other why they are being crushed under such heavy

loads, that eight hundred or more quite useless people may pass their lives in foreign wateringplaces, away

from their homes and their duties? It will be a bad day for them when the longsuffering subjects say to

them, "Since we get on so exceedingly well during your many visits abroad, we think we will try how it will

work without you at all!"

The Prince of little Monaco seems to be about the only one up to the situation, for he at least stays at home,

and in connection with two other gentlemen runs an exceedingly good hotel and several restaurants on his

estates, doing all he can to attract money into the place, while making the strictest laws to prevent his subjects

gambling at the famous tables. Now if other royalties instead of amusing themselves all the year round would

go in for something practical like this, they might become useful members of the community. This idea of

Monaco's Prince strikes one as most timely, and as opening a career for other indigent crowned heads. Hotels

are getting so good and so numerous, that without some especial "attraction" a new one can hardly succeed;

but a "Hohenzollern House" well situated in Berlin, with William II. to receive the tourists at the door, and

his fat wife at the desk, would be sure to prosper. It certainly would be pleasanter for him to spend money so

honestly earned than the millions wrested from halfstarving peasants which form his present income.

Besides there is almost as much gold lace on a hotel employee's livery as on a court costume!

The numerous crowned heads one meets wandering about, can hardly lull themselves over their "games" with

the flattering unction that they are of use, for, have they not France before them (which they find so much to

their taste) stronger, richer, more respected than ever since she shook herself free of such incumbrances? Not

to mention our own democratic country, which has managed to hold its own, in spite of their many gleeful

predictions to the contrary.

CHAPTER 18  A Rock Ahead

HAVING had occasion several times during this past season, to pass by the larger stores in the vicinity of

Twentythird Street, I have been struck more than ever, by the endless flow of womankind that beats against

the doors of those establishments. If they were temples where a beneficent deity was distributing health,

learning, and all the good things of existence, the rush could hardly have been greater. It saddened me to

realize that each of the eager women I saw was, on the contrary, dispensing something of her strength and

brain, as well as the wearily earned stipend of the men of her family (if not her own), for what could be of

little profit to her.

It occurred to me that, if the people who are so quick to talk about the elevating and refining influences of

women, could take an hour or two and inspect the centres in question, they might not be so firm in their

beliefs. For, reluctant as I am to acknowledge it, the one great misfortune in this country, is the unnatural

position which has been (from some mistaken idea of chivalry) accorded to women here. The result of


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placing them on this pedestal, and treating them as things apart, has been to make women in America poorer

helpmeets to their husbands than in any other country on the face of the globe, civilized or uncivilized.

Strange as it may appear, this is not confined to the rich, but permeates all classes, becoming more harmful in

descending the social scale, and it will bring about a disintegration of our society, sooner than could be

believed. The saying on which we have all been brought up, viz., that you can gauge the point of civilization

attained in a nation by the position it accords to woman, was quite true as long as woman was considered

man's inferior. To make her his equal was perfectly just; all the trouble begins when you attempt to make her

man's superior, a something apart from his working life, and not the companion of his troubles and cares, as

she was intended to be.

When a small shopkeeper in Europe marries, the next day you will see his young wife taking her place at the

desk in his shop. While he serves his customers, his smiling spouse keeps the books, makes change, and has

an eye on the employees. At noon they dine together; in the evening, after the shop is closed, are pleased or

saddened together over the results of the day. The wife's DOT almost always goes into the business, so that

there is a community of interest to unite them, and their lives are passed together. In this country, what

happens? The husband places his new wife in a small house, or in two or three furnished rooms, generally so

far away that all idea of dining with her is impossible. In consequence, he has a "quick lunch" down town,

and does not see his wife between eight o'clock in the morning and seven in the evening. His business is a

closed book to her, in which she can have no interest, for her weary husband naturally revolts from talking

"shop," even if she is in a position to understand him.

His false sense of shielding her from the rude world makes him keep his troubles to himself, so she rarely

knows his financial position and sulks over his "meanness" to her, in regard to pinmoney; and being a

perfectly idle person, her days are apt to be passed in a way especially devised by Satan for unoccupied

hands. She has learned no cooking from her mother; "going to market" has become a thing of the past. So she

falls a victim to the allurements of the bargaincounter; returning home after hours of aimless wandering,

irritable and aggrieved because she cannot own the beautiful things she has seen. She passes the evening in

trying to win her husband's consent to some purchase he knows he cannot afford, while it breaks his heart to

refuse her  some object, which, were she really his companion, she would not have had the time to see or the

folly to ask for.

The janitor in our building is truly a toiler. He rarely leaves his dismal quarters under the sidewalk, but

"Madam" walks the streets clad in sealskin and silk, a "Gainsborough" crowning her false "bang." I always

think of Max O'Rell's clever saying, when I see her: "The sweat of the American husband crystallizes into

diamond earrings for the American woman." My janitress sports a diminutive pair of those jewels and has

hopes of larger ones! Instead of "doing" the bachelor's rooms in the building as her husband's helpmeet, she

"does" her spouse, and a charwoman works for her. She is one of the drops in the tide that ebbs and flows

on Twentythird Street  a discontented woman placed in a false position by our absurd customs.

Go a little further up in the social scale and you will find the same "detached" feeling. In a household I know

of only one horse and a COUPE can be afforded. Do you suppose it is for the use of the weary breadwinner?

Not at all. He walks from his home to the "elevated." The carriage is to take his wife to teas or the park. In a

year or two she will go abroad, leaving him alone to turn the crank that produces the income. As it is, she

always leaves him for six months each year in a halfclosed house, to the tender mercies of a caretaker. Two

additional words could be advantageously added to the wedding service. After "for richer for poorer," I

should like to hear a bride promise to cling to her husband "for winter for summer!"

Make another step up and stand in the entrance of a house at two A.M., just as the cotillion is commencing,

and watch the couples leaving. The husband, who has been in Wall Street all day, knows that he must be

there again at nine next morning. He is furious at the lateness of the hour, and dropping with fatigue. His


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wife, who has done nothing to weary her, is equally enraged to be taken away just as the ball was becoming

amusing. What a happy, united pair they are as the footman closes the door and the carriage rolls off home!

Who is to blame? The husband is vainly trying to lead the most exacting of double lives, that of a business

man all day and a society man all night. You can pick him out at a glance in a ballroom. His eye shows you

that there is no rest for him, for he has placed his wife at the head of an establishment whose working crushes

him into the mud of care and anxiety. Has he any one to blame but himself?

In England, I am told, the man of a family goes up to London in the spring and gets his complete outfit, down

to the smallest details of hatbox and umbrella. If there happens to be money left, the wife gets a new gown

or two: if not, she "turns" the old ones and rejoices vicariously in the splendor of her "lord." I know one

charming little home over there, where the ladies cannot afford a ponycarriage, because the three

indispensable hunters eat up the wherewithal.

Thackeray was delighted to find one household (Major Ponto's) where the governess ruled supreme, and I

feel a fiendish pleasure in these accounts of a country where men have been able to maintain some rights, and

am moved to preach a crusade for the liberation of the American husband, that the poor, downtrodden

creature may revolt from the slavery where he is held and once more claim his birthright. If he be prompt to

act (and is successful) he may work such a reform that our girls, on marrying, may feel that some duties and

responsibilities go with their new positions; and a state of things be changed, where it is possible for a woman

to be pitied by her friends as a model of abnegation, because she has decided to remain in town during the

summer to keep her husband company and make his weary homecoming brighter. Or where (as in a story

recently heard) a foreigner on being presented to an American bride abroad and asking for her husband, could

hear in answer: "Oh, he could not come; he was too busy. I am making my weddingtrip without him."

CHAPTER 19  The Grand Prix

IN most cities, it is impossible to say when the "season" ends. In London and with us in New York it

dwindles off without any special finish, but in Paris it closes like a trapdoor, or the curtain on the last scene

of a pantomime, while the lights are blazing and the orchestra is banging its loudest. The GRAND PRIX,

which takes place on the second Sunday in June, is the climax of the spring gayeties. Up to that date, the

social pace has been getting faster and faster, like the finish of the big race itself, and fortunately for the lives

of the women as well as the horses, ends as suddenly.

In 1897, the last steeple chase at Auteuil, which precedes the GRANDPRIX by one week, was won by a

horse belonging to an actress of the THEATRE FRANCAIS, a lady who has been a great deal before the

public already in connection with the life and death of young Lebaudy. This youth having had the misfortune

to inherit an enormous fortune, while still a mere boy, plunged into the wildest dissipation, and became the

prey of a band of sharpers and blacklegs. Mlle. Marie Louise Marsy appears to have been the one person who

had a sincere affection for the unfortunate youth. When his health gave way during his military service, she

threw over her engagement with the FRANCAIS, and nursed her lover until his death  a devotion rewarded

by the gift of a million.

At the present moment, four or five of the band of selfstyled noblemen who traded on the boy's inexperience

and generosity, are serving out terms in the state prisons for blackmailing, and the THEATRE FRANCAIS

possesses the anomaly of a young and beautiful actress, who runs a racing stable in her own name.

THE GRAND PRIX dates from the reign of Napoleon III., who, at the suggestion of the great railway

companies, inaugurated this race in 1862, in imitation of the English Derby, as a means of attracting people to

Paris. The city and the railways each give half of the fortythousanddollar prize. It is the great official race

of the year. The President occupies the central pavilion, surrounded by the members of the cabinet and the

diplomatic corps. On the tribunes and lawn can be seen the TOUT PARIS  all the celebrities of the great and


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halfworld who play such an important part in the life of France's capital. The whole colony of the

RASTAQUOUERES, is sure to be there, "RASTAS," as they are familiarly called by the Parisians, who

make little if any distinction in their minds between a South American (blazing in diamonds and vulgar

clothes) and our own select (?) colony. Apropos of this inability of the Europeans to appreciate our fine social

distinctions, I have been told of a wellborn New Yorker who took a French noblewoman rather to task for

receiving an American she thought unworthy of notice, and said:

"How can you receive her? Her husband keeps a hotel!"

"Is that any reason?" asked the Frenchwoman; "I thought all Americans kept hotels."

For the GRAND PRIX, every woman not absolutely bankrupt has a new costume, her one idea being a

CREATION that will attract attention and eclipse her rivals. The dressmakers have had a busy time of it for

weeks before.

Every horse that can stand up is pressed into service for the day. For twentyfour hours before, the whole city

is EN FETE, and Paris EN FETE is always a sight worth seeing. The natural gayety of the Parisians, a

characteristic noticed (if we are to believe the historians) as far back as the conquest of Gaul by Julius Caesar,

breaks out in all its amusing spontaneity. If the day is fine, the entire population gives itself up to amusement.

From early morning the current sets towards the charming corner of the Bois where the Longchamps

racecourse lies, picturesquely encircled by the Seine (alive with a thousand boats), and backed by the woody

slopes of Suresnes and St. Cloud. By noon every corner and vantage point of the landscape is seized upon,

when, with a blare of trumpets and the rattle of cavalry, the President arrives in his turnout A LA

DAUMONT, two postilions in blue and gold, and a PIQUEUR, preceded by a detachment of the showy

GARDES REPUBLICAINS on horseback, and takes his place in the little pavilion where for so many years

Eugenie used to sit in state, and which has sheltered so many crowned heads under its simple roof. Faure's

arrival is the signal for the racing to begin, from that moment the interest goes on increasing until the great

"event." Then in an instant the vast throng of human beings breaks up and flows homeward across the Bois,

filling the big Place around the Arc de Triomphe, rolling down the Champs Elysees, in twenty parallel lines

of carriages. The sidewalks are filled with a laughing, singing, uproarious crowd that quickly invades every

restaurant, CAFE, or chophouse until their little tables overflow on to the grass and sidewalks, and even

into the middle of the streets. Later in the evening the openair concerts and theatres are packed, and every

little square organizes its impromptu ball, the musicians mounted on tables, and the crowd dancing gayly on

the wooden pavement until daybreak.

The next day, Paris becomes from a fashionable point of view, "impossible." If you walk through the richer

quarters, you will see only long lines of closed windows. The approaches to the railway stations are blocked

with cabs piled with trunks and bicycles. The "great world" is fleeing to the seashore or its CHATEAUX, and

Paris will know it no more until January, for the French are a countryloving race, and since there has been

no court, the aristocracy pass longer and longer periods on their own estates each year, partly from choice and

largely to show their disdain for the republic and its entertainments.

The shady drives in the park, which only a day or two ago were so brilliant with smart traps and spring

toilets, are become a cool wilderness, where will meet, perhaps, a few maiden ladies exercising fat dogs,

uninterrupted except by the wateringcart or by a few stray tourists in cabs. Now comes a delightful time for

the real amateur of Paris and the country around, which is full of charming corners where one can dine at

quiet little restaurants, overhanging the water or buried among trees. You are sure of getting the best of

attention from the waiters, and the dishes you order receive all the cook's attention. Of an evening the Bois is

alive with a myriad of bicycles, their lights twinkling among the trees like manycolored fireflies. To any

one who knows how to live there, Paris is at its best in the last half of June and July. Nevertheless, in a couple

of days there will not be an American in Paris, London being the objective point; for we love to be "in at the


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death," and a coronation, a musical festival, or a big race is sure to attract all our floating population.

The Americans who have the hardest time in Paris are those who try to "run with the deer and hunt with the

hounds," as the French proverb has it, who would fain serve God and Mammon. As anything especially

amusing is sure to take place on Sunday in this wicked capital, our friends go through agonies of indecision,

their consciences pulling one way, their desire to amuse themselves the other. Some find a middle course, it

seems, for yesterday this conversation was overheard on the steps of the American Church:

FIRST AMERICAN LADY: "Are you going to stop for the sermon?"

SECOND AMERICAN LADY: "I am so sorry I can't, but the races begin at one!"

CHAPTER 20  "The Treadmill."

A HALFHUMOROUS, halfpathetic epistle has been sent to me by a woman, who explains in it her

particular perplexity. Such letters are the windfalls of our profession! For what is more attractive than to have

a woman take you for her lay confessor, to whom she comes for advice in trouble? opening her innocent heart

for your inspection!

My correspondent complains that her days are not sufficiently long, nor is her strength great enough, for the

thousand and one duties and obligations imposed upon her. "If," she says, "a woman has friends and a small

place in the world  and who has not in these days?  she must golf or 'bike' or skate a bit, of a morning; then

she is apt to lunch out, or have a friend or two in, to that meal. After luncheon there is sure to be a 'class' of

some kind that she has foolishly joined, or a charity meeting, matinee, or reception; but above all, there are

her 'duty' calls. She must be home at five to make tea, that she has promised her men friends, and they will

not leave until it is time for her to dress for dinner, 'out' or at home, with often the opera, a supper, or a ball to

follow. It is quite impossible," she adds, "under these circumstances to apply one's self to anything serious, to

read a book or even open a periodical. The most one can accomplish is a glance at a paper."

Indeed, it would require an exceptional constitution to carry out the above programme, not to mention the

attention that a woman must (however reluctantly) give to her house and her family. Where are the quiet

hours to be found for selfculture, the perusal of a favorite author, or, perhaps, a little timid "writing" on her

own account? Nor does this treadmill round fill a few months only of her life. With slight variations of scene

and costume, it continues through the year.

A painter, I know, was fortunate enough to receive, a year or two ago, the commission to paint a wellknown

beauty. He was delighted with the idea and convinced that he could make her portrait the best work of his

life, one that would be the steppingstone to fame and fortune. This was in the spring. He was naturally

burning to begin at once, but found to his dismay that the lady was just about starting for Europe. So he

waited, and at her suggestion installed himself a couple of months later at the seaside city where she had a

cottage. No one could be more charming than she was, inviting him to dine and drive daily, but when he

broached the subject of "sitting," was "too busy just that day." Later in the autumn she would be quite at his

disposal. In the autumn, however, she was visiting, never ten days in the same place. Early winter found her

"getting her house in order," a mysterious rite apparently attended with vast worry and fatigue. With cooling

enthusiasm, the painter called and coaxed and waited. November brought the opera and the full swing of a

New York season. So far she has given him half a dozen sittings, squeezed in between a luncheon, which

made her "unavoidably late," for which she is charmingly "sorry," and a reception that she was forced to

attend, although "it breaks my heart to leave just as you are beginning to work so well, but I really must, or

the tiresome old cat who is giving the tea will be saying all sorts of unpleasant things about me." So she flits

off, leaving the poor, disillusioned painter before his canvas, knowing now that his dream is over, that in a

month or two his pretty sitter will be off again to New Orleans for the carnival, or abroad, and that his weary


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round of waiting will recommence. He will be fortunate if some day it does not float back to him, in the

mysterious way disagreeable things do come to one, that she has been heard to say, "I fear dear Mr. Palette is

not very clever, for I have been sitting to him for over a year, and he has really done nothing yet."

He has been simply the victim of a state of affairs that neither of them were strong enough to break through.

It never entered into Beauty's head that she could lead a life different from her friends. She was honestly

anxious to have a successful portrait of herself, but the sacrifice of any of her habits was more than she could

make.

Who among my readers (and I am tempted to believe they are all more sensible than the above young

woman) has not, during a summer passed with agreeable friends, made a thousand pleasant little plans with

them for the ensuing winter,  the books they were to read at the same time, the "exhibitions" they were to

see, the visits to our wonderful collections in the Metropolitan Museum or private galleries, cosy little

dinners, etc.? And who has not found, as the winter slips away, that few of these charming plans have been

carried out? He and his friends have unconsciously fallen back into their ruts of former years, and the

pleasant things projected have been brushed aside by that strongest of tyrants, habit.

I once asked a very great lady, whose gracious manner was never disturbed, who floated through the endless

complications of her life with smiling serenity, how she achieved this Olympian calm. She was good enough

to explain. "I make a list of what I want to do each day. Then, as I find my day passing, or I get behind, or

tired, I throw over every other engagement. I could have done them all with hurry and fatigue. I prefer to do

onehalf and enjoy what I do. If I go to a house, it is to remain and appreciate whatever entertainment has

been prepared for me. I never offer to any hostess the slight of a hurried, DISTRAIT 'call,' with glances at my

watch, and an 'onthewing' manner. It is much easier not to go, or to send a card."

This brings me around to a subject which I believe is one of the causes of my correspondent's dilemma. I fear

that she never can refuse anything. It is a peculiar trait of people who go about to amuse themselves, that they

are always sure the particular entertainment they have been asked to last is going to "be amusing." It rarely is

different from the others, but these people are convinced, that to stay away would be to miss something. A

wearylooking girl about 1 A.M. (at a houseparty) when asked why she did not go to bed if she was so

tired, answered, "the nights I go to bed early, they always seem to do something jolly, and then I miss it."

There is no greater proof of how much this weary round wears on women than the acts of the few who feel

themselves strong enough in their position to defy custom. They have thrown off the yoke (at least the

younger ones have) doubtless backed up by their husbands, for men are much quicker to see the aimlessness

of this stupid social routine. First they broke down the great NewYearcall "grind." Men over forty

doubtless recall with a shudder, that awful custom which compelled a man to get into his dress clothes at ten

A.M., and pass his day rushing about from house to house like a postman. Outoftown clubs and sport

helped to do away with that remnant of New Amsterdam. Next came the male revolt from the afternoon "tea"

or "musical." A black coat is rare now at either of these functions, or if seen is pretty sure to be on a back

over fifty. Next, we lords of creation refused to call at all, or leave our cards. A married woman now leaves

her husband's card with her own, and sisters leave the "pasteboard" of their brothers and often those of their

brothers' friends. Any combination is good enough to "shoot a card."

In London the men have gone a step further. It is not uncommon to hear a young man boast that he never

owned a visiting card or made a "duty" call in his life. Neither there nor with us does a man count as a "call"

a quiet cup of tea with a woman he likes, and a cigarette and quiet talk until dressing time. Let the young

women have courage and take matters into their own hands. (The older ones are hopeless and will go on

pushing this Juggernaut car over each other's weary bodies, until the end of the chapter.) Let them have the

courage occasionally to "refuse" something, to keep themselves free from aimless engagements, and bring

this paste board war to a close. If a woman is attractive, she will be asked out all the same, never fear! If she


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is not popular, the few dozen of "eggshell extra" that she can manage to slip in at the front doors of her

acquaintances will not help her much.

If this matter is, however, so vastly important in women's eyes, why not adopt the continental and diplomatic

custom and send cards by post or otherwise? There, if a newcomer dines out and meets twentyfive people

for the first time, cards must be left the next day at their twentyfive respective residences. How the cards get

there is of no importance. It is a diplomatic fiction that the new acquaintance has called in person, and the call

will be returned within twentyfour hours. Think of the saving of time and strength! In Paris, on New Year's

Day, people send cards by post to everybody they wish to keep up. That does for a year, and no more is

thought about it. All the time thus gained can be given to culture or recreation.

I have often wondered why one sees so few women one knows at our picture exhibitions or flower shows. It

is no longer a mystery to me. They are all busy trotting up and down our long side streets leaving cards.

Hideous vision! Should Dante by any chance reincarnate, he would find here the material ready made to his

hand for an eighth circle in his INFERNO.

CHAPTER 21  "Like Master Like Man."

A FREQUENT and naive complaint one hears, is of the unsatisfactoriness of servants generally, and their

ingratitude and astonishing lack of affection for their masters, in particular. "After all I have done for them,"

is pretty sure to sum up the long tale of a housewife's griefs. Of all the delightful inconsistencies that grace

the female mind, this latter point of view always strikes me as being the most complete. I artfully lead my fair

friend on to tell me all about her woes, and she is sure to be exquisitely onesided and quite unconscious of

her position. "They are so extravagant, take so little interest in my things, and leave me at a moment's notice,

if they get an idea I am going to break up. Horrid things! I wish I could do without them! They cause me

endless worry and annoyance." My friend is very nearly right,  but with whom lies the fault?

The conditions were bad enough years ago, when servants were kept for decades in the same family,

descending like heirlooms from father to son, often (abroad) being the foster sisters or brothers of their

masters, and bound to the household by an hundred ties of sympathy and tradition. But in our day, and in

America, where there is rarely even a common language or nationality to form a bond, and where households

are broken up with such facility, the relation between master and servant is often so strained and so

unpleasant that we risk becoming (what foreigners reproach us with being), a nation of hoteldwellers. Nor is

this classfeeling greatly to be wondered at. The contrary would be astonishing. From the primitive

household, where a poor neighbor comes in as "help," to the "great" establishment where the butler and

housekeeper eat apart, and a group of plushclad flunkies imported from England adorn the entrancehall,

nothing could be better contrived to set one class against another than domestic service.

Proverbs have grown out of it in every language. "No man is a hero to his valet," and "familiarity breeds

contempt," are clear enough. Our comic papers are full of the misunderstandings and absurdities of the

situation, while one rarely sees a joke made about the other ways that the poor earn their living. Think of it

for a moment! To be obliged to attend people at the times of day when they are least attractive, when from

fatigue or temper they drop the mask that society glues to their faces so many hours in the twentyfour; to see

always the seamy side of life, the small expedients, the aids to nature; to stand behind a chair and hear an

acquaintance of your master's ridiculed, who has just been warmly praised to his face; to see a hostess who

has been graciously urging her guests "not to go so soon," blurt out all her boredom and thankfulness "that

those tiresome SoandSo's" are "paid off at last," as soon as the door is closed behind them, must needs give

a curious bent to a servant's mind. They see their employers insincere, and copy them. Many a mistress who

has been smilingly assured by her maid how much her dress becomes her, and how young she is looking,

would be thunderstruck to hear herself laughed at and criticised (none too delicately) five minutes later in that

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Servants are trained from their youth up to conceal their true feelings. A domestic who said what she thought

would quickly lose her place. Frankly, is it not asking a good deal to expect a maid to be very fond of a lady

who makes her sit up night after night until the small hours to unlace her bodice or take down her hair; or

imagine a valet can be devoted to a master he has to get into bed as best he can because he is too tipsy to get

there unaided? Immortal "Figaro" is the type! Supple, liar, corrupt, intelligent,  he aids his master and laughs

at him, feathering his own nest the while. There is a saying that "horses corrupt whoever lives with them." It

would be more correct to say that domestic service demoralizes alike both master and man.

Already we are obliged to depend on immigration for our servants because an American revolts from the

false position, though he willingly accepts longer hours or harder work where he has no one around him but

his equals. It is the old story of the free, hungry wolf, and the wellfed, but chained, housedog. The

foreigners that immigration now brings us, from countries where great class distinctions exist, find it natural

to "serve." With the increase in education and consequent selfrespect, the difficulty of getting efficient and

contented servants will increase with us. It has already become a great social problem in England. The trouble

lies beneath the surface. If a superior class accept service at all, it is with the intention of quickly getting

money enough to do something better. With them service is merely the means to an end. A first step on the

ladder!

Bad masters are the cause of so much suffering, that to protect themselves, the great brotherhood of servants

have imagined a system of keeping run of "places," and giving them a "character" which an aspirant can find

out with little trouble. This organization is so complete, and so well carried out, that a household where the

lady has a "temper," where the food is poor, or which breaks up often, can rarely get a firstclass domestic.

The "place" has been boycotted, a good servant will sooner remain idle than enter it. If circumstances are too

much for him and he accepts the situation, it is with his eyes open, knowing infinitely more about his new

employers and their failings than they dream of, or than they could possibly find out about him.

One thing never can be sufficiently impressed on people, viz.: that we are forced to live with detectives,

always behind us in caps or dresssuits, ready to note every careless word, every incautious criticism of

friend or acquaintance  their money matters or their love affairs  and who have nothing more interesting to

do than to repeat what they have heard, with embroideries and additions of their own. Considering this, and

that nine people out of ten talk quite oblivious of their servants' presence, it is to be wondered at that so little

(and not that so much) trouble is made.

It always amuses me when I ask a friend if she is going abroad in the spring, to have her say "Hush!" with a

frightened glance towards the door.

"I am; but I do not want the servants to know, or the horrid things would leave me!"

Poor, simple lady! They knew it before you did, and had discussed the whole matter over their "tea" while it

was an almost unuttered thought in your mind. If they have not already given you notice, it is because, on the

whole your house suits them well enough for the present, while they look about. Do not worry your simple

soul, trying to keep anything from them. They know the amount of your last dressmaker's bill, and the row

your husband made over it. They know how much you would have liked young "Croesus" for your daughter,

and the little tricks you played to bring that marriage about. They know why you are no longer asked to dine

at Mrs. Swell's, which is more than you know yourself. Mrs. Swell explained the matter to a few friends over

her lunchtable recently, and the butler told your maid that same evening, who was laughing at the story as

she put on your slippers!

Before we blame them too much, however, let us remember that they have it in their power to make great

trouble if they choose. And considering the little that is made in this way, we must conclude that, on the

whole, they are better than we give them credit for being, and fill a trying situation with much good humor


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and kindliness. The lady who is astonished that they take so little interest in her, will perhaps feel differently

if she reflects how little trouble she has given herself to find out their anxieties and griefs, their temptations

and heartburnings; their material situation; whom they support with their slowly earned wages, what claims

they have on them from outside. If she will also reflect on the number of days in a year when she is "not

herself," when headaches or disappointments ruffle her charming temper, she may come to the conclusion

that it is too much to expect all the virtues for twenty dollars a month.

A little more human interest, my good friends, a little more indulgence, and you will not risk finding yourself

in the position of the lady who wrote me that last summer she had been obliged to keep open house for

"'Cook' tourists!"

CHAPTER 22  An English Invasion of the Riviera

WHEN sixty years ago Lord Brougham, EN ROUTE for Italy, was thrown from his travelling berline and his

leg was broken, near the Italian hamlet of Cannes, the Riviera was as unknown to the polite world as the

centre of China. The GRAND TOUR which every young aristocrat made with his tutor, on coming of age,

only included crossing from France into Italy by the Alps. It was the occurrence of an unusually severe winter

in Switzerland that turned Brougham aside into the longer and less travelled route VIA the Corniche, the

marvellous Roman road at that time fallen into oblivion, and little used even by the local peasantry.

During the tedious weeks while his leg was mending, Lord Brougham amused himself by exploring the

surrounding country in his carriage, and was quick to realize the advantages of the climate, and appreciate the

marvellous beauty of that coast. Before the broken member was whole again, he had bought a tract of land

and begun a villa. Small seed, to furnish such a harvest! To the traveller of today the Riviera offers an

almost unbroken chain of beautiful residences from Marseilles to Genoa.

A Briton willingly follows where a lord leads, and Cannes became the centre of English fashion, a position it

holds today in spite of many attractive rivals, and the defection of Victoria who comes now to Cimiez, back

of Nice, being unwilling to visit Cannes since the sudden death there of the Duke of Albany. A statue of Lord

Brougham, the "discoverer" of the littoral, has been erected in the sunny little square at Cannes, and the

English have in many other ways, stamped the city for their own.

No other race carry their individuality with them as they do. They can live years in a country and assimilate

none of its customs; on the contrary, imposing habits of their own. It is just this that makes them such

wonderful colonizers, and explains why you will find little groups of English people drinking ale and playing

golf in the shade of the Pyramids or near the frozen slopes of Foosiyama. The real inwardness of it is that

they are a dull race, and, like dull people despise all that they do not understand. To differ from them is to be

in the wrong. They cannot argue with you; they simply know, and that ends the matter.

I had a discussion recently with a Briton on the pronunciation of a word. As there is no "Institute," as in

France, to settle matters of this kind, I maintained that we Americans had as much authority for our

pronunciation of this particular word as the English. The answer was characteristic.

"I know I am right," said my Island friend, "because that is the way I pronounce it!"

Walking along the principal streets of Cannes today, you might imagine yourself (except for the climate) at

Cowes or Brighton, so British are the shops and the crowd that passes them. Every restaurant advertises

"afternoon tea" and Bass's ale, and every other sign bears a London name. This little matter of tea is

particularly characteristic of the way the English have imposed a taste of their own on a rebellious nation.

Nothing is further from the French taste than teadrinking, and yet a Parisian lady will now invite you

gravely to "five o'clocker" with her, although I can remember when that beverage was abhorred by the French


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as a medicine; if you had asked a Frenchman to take a cup of tea, he would have answered:

"Why? I am not ill!"

Even Paris (that supreme and undisputed arbiter of taste) has submitted to English influence; tailormade

dresses and lowheeled shoes have become as "good form" in France as in London. The last two Presidents

of the French Republic have taken the oath of office dressed in frockcoats instead of the dress clothes to

which French officials formerly clung as to the sacraments.

The municipalities of the little Southern cities were quick to seize their golden opportunity, and everything

was done to detain the rich English wandering down towards Italy. Millions were spent in transforming their

cramped, dirty, little towns. Wide boulevards bordered with palm and eucalyptus spread their sunny lines in

all directions, being baptized PROMENADE DES ANGLAIS or BOULEVARD VICTORIA, in artful

flattery. The narrow mountain roads were widened, casinos and theatres built and carnival FETES organized,

the cities offering "cups" for yacht or horseraces, and giving grounds for tennis and golf clubs. Clever

Southern people! The money returned to them a hundredfold, and they lived to see their wild coast become

the chosen residence of the wealthiest aristocracy in Europe, and the rocky hillsides blossom into terrace

above terrace of villa gardens, where palm and rose and geranium vie with the olive and the mimosa to shade

the white villas from the sun. Today, no little town on the coast is without its English chapel, British club,

tennis ground, and golf links. On a fair day at Monte Carlo, Nice, or Cannes, the prevailing conversation is in

English, and the handsome, well dressed sons of Albion lounge along beside their astonishing womankind

as thoroughly at home as on Bond Street.

Those wonderful English women are the source of unending marvel and amusement to the French. They can

never understand them, and small wonder, for with the exception of the small "set" that surrounds the Prince

of Wales, who are dressed in the Parisian fashion, all English women seem to be overwhelmed with regret at

not being born men, and to have spent their time and ingenuity since, in trying to make up for nature's

mistake. Every masculine garment is twisted by them to fit the female figure; their conversation, like that of

their brothers, is about horses and dogs; their hats and gloves are the same as the men's; and when with their

fine, large feet in stout shoes they start off, with that particular swinging gait that makes the skirt seem

superfluous, for a stroll of twenty miles or so, Englishwomen do seem to the uninitiated to have succeeded in

their ambition of obliterating the difference between the sexes.

It is of an evening, however, when concealment is no longer possible, that the native taste bursts forth, the

AngloSaxon standing declared in all her plainness. Strong is the contrast here, where they are placed side by

side with all that Europe holds of elegant, and welldressed Frenchwomen, whether of the "world" or the

"halfworld," are invariably marvels of fitness and freshness, the simplest materials being converted by their

skilful touch into toilettes, so artfully adapted to the wearer's figure and complexion, as to raise such

"creations" to the level of a fine art.

An artist feels, he must fix on canvas that particular combination of colors or that wonderful line of bust and

hip. It is with a shudder that he turns to the British matron, for she has probably, for this occasion, draped

herself in an "art material,"  principally "Liberty" silks of dirty greens and blues (aesthetic shades!). He is

tempted to cry out in his disgust: "Oh, Liberty! Liberty! How many crimes are committed in thy name!" It is

one of the oddest things in the world that the English should have elected to live so much in France, for there

are probably nowhere two peoples so diametrically opposed on every point, or who so persistently and

wilfully misunderstand each other, as the English and the French.

It has been my fate to live a good deal on both sides of the Channel, and nothing is more amusing than to hear

the absurdities that are gravely asserted by each of their neighbors. To a Briton, a Frenchman will always be

"either tiger or monkey" according to Voltaire; while to the French mind English gravity is only hypocrisy to


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cover every vice. Nothing pleases him so much as a great scandal in England; he will gleefully bring you a

paper containing the account of it, to prove how true is his opinion. It is quite useless to explain to the British

mind, as I have often tried to do, that all Frenchmen do not pass their lives drinking absinthe on the

boulevards; and as Englishmen seem to leave their morals in a valise at Dover when off for a visit to Paris, to

be picked up on their return, it is time lost to try to make a Gaul understand what good husbands and fathers

the sons of Albion are.

These two great nations seem to stand in the relation to each other that Rome and Greece held. The English

are the conquerors of the world, and its great colonizers; with a vast capital in which wealth and misery jostle

each other on the streets; a hideous conglomeration of buildings and monuments, without form and void, very

much as old Rome must have been under the Caesars, enormous buildings without taste, and enormous

wealth. The French have inherited the temperament of the Greeks. The drama, painting, and sculpture are the

preoccupation of the people. The yearly exhibitions are, for a month before they open, the unique subject of

conversation in drawingroom or club. The state protects the artist and buys his work. Their

CONSERVATOIRES form the singers, and their schools the painters and architects of Europe and America.

The English copy them in their big way, just as the Romans copied the masterpieces of Greek art, while they

despised the authors. It is rare that a play succeeds in Paris which is not instantly translated and produced in

London, often with the adapter's name printed on the programme in place of the author's, the Frenchman,

who only wrote it, being ignored. Just as the Greeks faded away and disappeared before their Roman

conquerors, it is to be feared that in our day this people of a finer clay will succumb. The "defects of their

qualities" will be their ruin. They will stop at home, occupied with literature and art, perfecting their dainty

cities; while their tougher neighbors are dominating the globe, imposing their language and customs on the

conquered peoples or the earth. One feels this on the Riviera. It reminds you of the cuckoo who, once

installed in a robin's nest, that seems to him convenient and warmly located in the sunshine, ends by kicking

out all the young robins.

CHAPTER 23  A Common Weakness

GOVERNMENTS may change and all the conditions of life be modified, but certain ambitions and needs of

man remain immutable. Climates, customs, centuries, have in no way diminished the craving for

consideration, the desire to be somebody, to bear some mark indicating to the world that one is not as other

men.

For centuries titles supplied the want. This satisfaction has been denied to us, so ambitious souls are obliged

to seek other means to feed their vanity.

Even before we were born into the world of nations, an attempt was made amongst the aristocratically

minded court surrounding our chief magistrate, to form a society that should (without the name) be the

beginning of a class apart.

The order of the Cincinnati was to have been the nucleus of an American nobility. The tendencies of this

society are revealed by the fact that primogeniture was its fundamental law. Nothing could have been more

opposed to the spirit of the age, nor more at variance with the declaration of our independence, than the

insertion of such a clause. This fact was discovered by the far seeing eye of Washington, and the society

was suppressed in the hope (shared by almost all contemporaries) that with new forms of government the

nature of man would undergo a transformation and rise above such puerile ambitions.

Time has shown the fallacy of these dreams. All that has been accomplished is the displacement of the

objective point; the desire, the mania for a handle to one's name is as prevalent as ever. Leave the centres of

civilization and wander in the small towns and villages of our country. Every other man you meet is


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introduced as the Colonel or the Judge, and you will do well not to inquire too closely into the matter, nor to

ask to see the title deeds to such distinctions. On the other hand, to omit his prefix in addressing one of these

local magnates, would be to offend him deeply. The womenfolk were quick to borrow a little of this

distinction, and in Washington today one is gravely presented to Mrs. Senator Smith or Mrs. Colonel Jones.

The climax being reached by one aspiring female who styles herself on her visiting cards, "Mrs.

ActingAssistantPaymaster Robinson." If by any chance it should occur to any one to ask her motive in

sporting such an unwieldy handle, she would say that she did it "because one can't be going about explaining

that one is not just ordinary Mrs. Robinson or Thompson, like the thousand others in town." A woman who

cannot find an excuse for assuming such a prefix will sometime have recourse to another stratagem, to

particularize an ordinary surname. She remembers that her husband, who ever since he was born has been

known to everybody as Jim, is the proud possessor of the middle name Ivanhoe, or Pericles (probably the

result of a romantic mother's reading); so one fine day the young couple bloom out as Mr. and Mrs. J.

Pericles Sparks, to the amusement of their friends, their own satisfaction, and the hopeless confusion of their

tradespeople.

Not long ago a Westerner, who went abroad with a travelling show, was received with enthusiasm in England

because it was thought "The Honorable" which preceded his name on his cards implied that although an

American he was somehow the son of an earl. As a matter of fact he owed this title to having sat, many years

before in the Senate of a farwestern State. He will cling to that "Honorable" and print it on his cards while

life lasts. I was told the other day of an American carpet warrior who appeared at court function abroad

decorated with every college badge, and football medal in his possession, to which he added at the last

moment a brass trunk check, to complete the brilliancy of the effect. This latter decoration attracted the

attention of the Heir Apparent, who inquired the meaning of the mystic "416" upon it. This would have been

a "facer" to any but a true son of Uncle Sam. Nothing daunted, however, our "General" replied "That, Sir, is

the number of pitched battles I have won."

I have my doubts as to the absolute veracity of this tale. But that the son of one of our generals, appeared not

long ago at a public reception abroad, wearing his father's medals and decorations, is said to be true.

Decorations on the Continent are official badges of distinction conferred and recognized by the different

governments. An American who wears, out of his own country, an army or college badge which has no

official existence, properly speaking, being recognized by no government, but which is made intentionally to

look as much as possible like the "Legion d'Honneur," is deliberately imposing on the ignorance of

foreigners, and is but little less of a pretentious idiot than the owners of the trunk check and the borrowed

decorations.

There seems no end to the ways a little ambitious game can be played. One device much in favor is for the

wife to attach her own family name to that of her husband by means of a hyphen. By this arrangement she

does not entirely lose her individuality; as a result we have a splendid assortment of hybrid names, such as

Van CortlandSmith and BeekmanBrown. Be they never so incongruous these doublebarrelled cognomens

serve their purpose and raise ambitious mortals above the level of other Smiths and Browns. Finding that this

arrangement works well in their own case, it is passed on to the next generation. There are no more Toms and

Bills in these aspiring days. The little boys are all Cadwalladers or Carrolls. Their schoolfellows, however,

work sad havoc with these highsounding titles and quickly abbreviate them into humble "Cad" or "Rol."

It is surprising to notice what a number of middleaged gentlemen have blossomed out of late with

decorations in their buttonholes according to the foreign fashion. On inquiry I have discovered that these

ornaments designate members of the G.A.R., the Loyal Legion, or some local Post, for the rosettes differ in

form and color. When these gentlemen travel abroad, to reduce their waists or improve their minds, the

effects on the hotel waiters and cabmen must be immense. They will be charged three times the ordinary

tariff instead of only the double which is the stranger's usual fate at the hands of simpleminded foreigners.

The satisfaction must be cheap, however, at that price.


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Even our wise men and sages do not seem to have escaped the contagion. One sees professors and clergymen

(who ought to set a better example) trailing half a dozen letters after their names, initials which to the

initiated doubtless mean something, but which are also intended to fill the souls of the ignorant with envy. I

can recall but one case of a foreign decoration being refused by a compatriot. He was a genius and we all

know that geniuses are crazy. This gentleman had done something particularly gratifying to an Eastern

potentate, who in return offered him one of his secondbest orders. It was at once refused. When urged on

him a second time our countryman lost his temper and answered, "If you want to give it to somebody, present

it to my valet. He is most anxious to be decorated." And it was done!

It does not require a deeply meditative mind to discover the motives of ambitious struggles. The first and

strongest illusion of the human mind is to believe that we are different from our fellows, and our natural

impulse is to try and impress this belief upon others.

Pride of birth is but one of the manifestations of the universal weakness  invariably taking stronger and

stronger hold of the people, who from the modest dimension of their income, or other untoward

circumstances, can find no outward and visible form with which to dazzle the world. You will find that a

desire to shine is the secret of most of the tips and presents that are given while travelling or visiting, for they

can hardly be attributed to pure spontaneous generosity.

How many people does one meet who talk of their poor and unsuccessful relatives while omitting to mention

rich and powerful connections? We are told that far from blaming such a tendency we are to admire it. That it

is proper pride to put one's best foot forward and keep an offending member well out of sight, that the man

who wears a rosette in the buttonhole of his coat and has half the alphabet galloping after his name, is an

honor to his family.

Far be it from me to deride this weakness in others, for in my heart I am persuaded that if I lived in China,

nothing would please me more than to have my cap adorned with a coral button, while if fate had cast my life

in the pleasant places of central Africa, a ring in my nose would doubtless have filled my soul with joy. The

fact that I share this weakness does not, however, prevent my laughing at such folly in others.

CHAPTER 24  Changing Paris

PARIS is beginning to show signs of the coming "Exhibition of 1900," and is in many ways going through a

curious stage of transformation, socially as well as materially. The PALAIS DE L'INDUSTRIE, familiar to

all visitors here, as the home of the SALONS, the Horse Shows, and a thousand gay FETES and merry

makings, is being torn down to make way for the new avenue leading, with the bridge Alexander III., from

the Champs Elysees to the Esplanade des Invalides. This thoroughfare with the gilded dome of Napoleon's

tomb to close its perspective is intended to be the feature of the coming "show."

Curious irony of things in this world! The PALAIS DE L'INDUSTRIE was intended to be the one permanent

building of the exhibition of 1854. An old "Journal" I often read tells how the writer saw the long line of

gilded coaches (borrowed from Versailles for the occasion), eight horses apiece, led by footmen  horses and

men blazing in embroidered trappings  leave the Tuileries and proceed at a walk to the great gateway of the

now disappearing palace. Victoria and Albert who were on an official visit to the Emperor were the first to

alight; then Eugenie in the radiance of her perfect beauty stepped from the coach (sad omen!) that fifty years

before had taken Josephine in tears to Malmaison.

It may interest some ladies to know how an Empress was dressed on that spring morning fortyfour years

ago. She wore rosecolored silk with an overdress (I think that is what it is called) of black lace flounces,

immense hoops, and a black CHANTILLY lace shawl. Her hair, a brilliant golden auburn, was dressed low

on the temples, covering the ears, and hung down her back in a gold net almost to her waist; at the extreme


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back of her head was placed a black and rosecolored bonnet; open "flowing" sleeves showed her bare arms,

onebuttoned, strawcolored gloves, and ruby bracelets; she carried a tiny rosecolored parasol not a foot in

diameter.

How England's great sovereign was dressed the writer of the journal does not so well remember, for in those

days Eugenie was the cynosure of all eyes, and people rarely looked at anything else when they could get a

glimpse of her lovely face.

It appears, however, that the Queen sported an India shawl, hoops, and a green bonnet, which was not

particularly becoming to her red face. She and Napoleon entered the building first; the Empress (who was in

delicate health) was carried in an open chair, with Prince Albert walking at her side, a marvellously

handsome couple to follow the two dowdy little sovereigns who preceded them. The writer had by bribery

succeeded in getting places in an ENTRESOL window under the archway, and was greatly impressed to see

those four great ones laughing and joking together over Eugenie's trouble in getting her hoops into the narrow

chair!

What changes have come to that laughing group! Two are dead, one dying in exile and disgrace; and it would

be hard to find in the two rheumatic old ladies whom one sees pottering about the Riviera now, any trace of

those smiling wives. In France it is as if a tidal wave had swept over Napoleon's court. Only the old palace

stood severely back from the Champs Elysees, as if guarding its souvenirs. The pick of the mason has

brought down the proud gateway which its imperial builder fondly imagined was to last for ages. The

Tuileries preceded it into oblivion. The Alpha and Omega of that gorgeous pageant of the fifties vanished like

a mirage!

It is not here alone one finds Paris changing. A railway is being brought along the quais with its depot at the

Invalides. Another is to find its terminus opposite the Louvre, where the picturesque ruin of the Cour des

Comptes has stood halfhidden by the trees since 1870. A line of electric cars crosses the Rond Point, in spite

of the opposition of all the neighborhood, anxious to keep, at least that fine perspective free from such

desecration. And, last but not least, there is every prospect of an immense system of elevated railways being

inaugurated in connection with the coming world's fair. The direction of this kind of improvement is entirely

in the hands of the Municipal Council, and that body has become (here in Paris) extremely radical, not to say

communistic; and takes pleasure in annoying the inhabitants of the richer quarters of the city, under pretext of

improvements and facilities of circulation.

It is easy to see how strong the feeling is against the aristocratic class. Nor is it much to be wondered at! The

aristocracy seem to try to make themselves unpopular. They detest the republic, which has shorn them of

their splendor, and do everything in their power (socially and diplomatically their power is still great) to

interfere with and frustrate the plans of the government. Only last year they seized an opportunity at the

funerals of the Duchesse d'Alencon and the Duc d'Aumale to make a royalist manifestation of the most

pronounced character. The young Duchesse d'Orleans was publicly spoken of and treated as the "Queen of

France;" at the private receptions given during her stay in Paris the same ceremonial was observed as if she

had been really on the throne. The young Duke, her husband, was not present, being in exile as a pretender,

but armorial bearings of the "reigning family," as their followers insist on calling them, were hung around the

Madeleine and on the funeralcars of both the illustrious dead.

The government is singularly lenient to the aristocrats. If a poor man cries "Long live the Commune!" in the

street, he is arrested. The police, however, stood quietly by and let a group of the old nobility shout "Long

live the Queen!" as the train containing the young Duchesse d'Orleans moved out of the station. The secret of

this leniency toward the "pretenders" to the throne, is that they are very little feared. If it amuses a set of

wealthy people to play at holding a court, the strong government of the republic cares not one jot. The

Orleans family have never been popular in France, and the young pretender's marriage to an Austrian


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Archduchess last year has not improved matters.

It is the fashion in the conservative Faubourg St. Germain, to ridicule the President, his wife and their

bourgeois surroundings, as forty years ago the parents of these aristocrats affected to despise the imperial

PARVENUS. The swells amused themselves during the official visit of the Emperor and Empress of Russia

last year (which was gall and wormwood to them) by exaggerating and repeating all the small slips in

etiquette that the President, an intelligent, but simplemannered gentleman, was supposed to have made

during the sojourn of his imperial guests.

Both M. and Mme. Faure are extremely popular with the people, and are heartily cheered whenever they are

seen in public. The President is the despair of the lovers of routine and etiquette, walking in and out of his

Palais of the Elysee, like a private individual, and breaking all rules and regulations. He is fond of riding, and

jogs off to the Bois of a morning with no escort, and often of an evening drops in at the theatres in a casual

way. The other night at the Francais he suddenly appeared in the FOYER DES ARTISTES (A beautiful

greenroom, hung with historical portraits of great actors and actresses, one of the prides of the theatre) in this

informal manner. Mme. Bartet, who happened to be there alone at the time, was so impressed at such an

unprecedented event that she fainted, and the President had to run for water and help revive her. The next day

he sent the great actress a beautiful vase of Sevres china, full of water, in souvenir.

To a lover of old things and old ways any changes in the Paris he has known and loved are a sad trial. Henri

Drumont, in his delightful MON VIEUX PARIS, deplores this modern mania for reform which has done such

good work in the new quarters but should, he thinks, respect the historic streets and shady squares.

One naturally feels that the sights familiar in youth lose by being transformed and doubts the necessity of

such improvements.

The Rome of my childhood is no more! Half of Cairo was ruthlessly transformed in sixtyfive into a hideous

caricature of modern Paris. Milan has been remodelled, each city losing in charm as it gained in convenience.

So far Paris has held her own. The spirit of the city has not been lost, as in the other capitals. The fair

metropolis of France, in spite of many transformations, still holds her admirers with a dominating sway. She

pours out for them a strong elixir that once tasted takes the flavor out of existence in other cities and makes

her adorers, when in exile, thirst for another draught of the subtle nectar.

CHAPTER 25  Contentment

AS the result of certain ideal standards adopted among us when this country was still in long clothes, a time

when the equality of man was the new "fad" of many nations, and the prizes of life first came within the

reach of those fortunate or unscrupulous enough to seize them, it became the fashion (and has remained so

down to our day) to teach every little boy attending a village school to look upon himself as a possible future

President, and to assume that every girl was preparing herself for the position of first lady in the land. This is

very well in theory, and practice has shown that, as Napoleon said, "Every private may carry a marshal's

baton in his knapsack." Alongside of the good such incentive may produce, it is only fair, however, to

consider also how much harm may lie in this way of presenting life to a child's mind.

As a first result of such tall talking we find in America, more than in any other country, an inclination among

all classes to leave the surroundings where they were born and bend their energies to struggling out of the

position in life occupied by their parents. There are not wanting theorists who hold that this is a quality in a

nation, and that it leads to great results. A proposition open to discussion.


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It is doubtless satisfactory to designate first magistrates who have raised themselves from humble beginnings

to that proud position, and there are times when it is proper to recall such achievements to the rising

generation. But as youth is proverbially overconfident it might also be well to point out, without danger of

discouraging our sanguine youngsters, that for one who has succeeded, about ten million confident American

youths, full of ambition and lofty aims, have been obliged to content themselves with being honest men in

humble positions, even as their fathers before them. A sad humiliation, I grant you, for a self respecting

citizen, to end life just where his father did; often the case, nevertheless, in this hard world, where so many

fine qualities go unappreciated,  no societies having as yet been formed to seek out "mute, inglorious

Miltons," and ask to crown them!

To descend abruptly from the sublime, to very near the ridiculous,  I had need last summer of a boy to go

with a lady on a trap and help about the stable. So I applied to a friend's coachman, a hardworking

Englishman, who was delighted to get the place for his nephew  an Americanborn boy  the child of a

sister, in great need. As the boy's clothes were hardly presentable, a simple livery was made for him; from

that moment he pined, and finally announced he was going to leave. In answer to my surprised inquiries, I

discovered that a friend of his from the same tenementhouse in which he had lived in New York had

appeared in the village, and sooner than be seen in livery by his playfellow he preferred abandoning his

good place, the chance of being of aid to his mother, and learning an honorable way to earn his living.

Remonstrances were in vain; to the wrath of his uncle, he departed. The boy had, at his school, heard so much

about everybody being born equal and every American being a gentleman by right of inheritance, that he had

taken himself seriously, and despised a position his uncle was proud to hold, preferring elegant leisure in his

native tenementhouse to the humiliation of a livery.

When at college I had rooms in a neat cottage owned by an American family. The father was a butcher, as

were his sons. The only daughter was exceedingly pretty. The hardworked mother conceived high hopes for

this favorite child. She was sent to a boarding school, from which she returned entirely unsettled for life,

having learned little except to be ashamed of her parents and to play on the piano. One of these instruments of

torture was bought, and a room fitted up as a parlor for the daughter's use. As the family were fairly

welltodo, she was allowed to dress out of all keeping with her parents' position, and, egged on by her

mother, tried her best to marry a rich "student." Failing in this, she became discontented, unhappy, and finally

there was a scandal, this poor victim of a false ambition going to swell the vast tide of a city's vice. With a

sensible education, based on the idea that her father's trade was honorable and that her mission in life was to

aid her mother in the daily work until she might marry and go to her husband, prepared by experience to cook

his dinner and keep his house clean, and finally bring up her children to be honest men and women, this girl

would have found a happy future waiting for her, and have been of some good in her humble way.

It is useless to multiply illustrations. One has but to look about him in this unsettled country of ours. The

other day in front of my door the perennial ditch was being dug for some gaspipe or other. Two of the

gentlemen who had consented to do this labor wore frockcoats and top hats  or what had once been those

articles of attire  instead of comfortable and appropriate overalls. Why? Because, like the stableboy, to

have worn any distinctive dress would have been in their minds to stamp themselves as belonging to an

inferior class, and so interfered with their chances of representing this country later at the Court of St. James,

or presiding over the Senate,  positions (to judge by their criticism of the present incumbents) they feel no

doubt as to their ability to fill.

The same spirit pervades every trade. The youth who shaves me is not a barber; he has only accepted this

position until he has time to do something better. The waiter who brings me my chop at a downtown

restaurant would resign his place if he were requested to shave his flowing mustache, and is secretly studying

law. I lose all patience with my countrymen as I think over it! Surely we are not such a race of snobs as not to

recognize that a good barber is more to be respected than a poor lawyer; that, as a French saying goes, IL N'Y

A PAS DE SOT METIER. It is only the fool who is ashamed of his trade.


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But enough of preaching. I had intended  when I took up my pen today  to write on quite another form of

this modern folly, this eternal struggle upward into circles for which the struggler is fitted neither by his birth

nor his education; the above was to have been but a preface to the matter I had in mind, viz., "social

climbers," those scourges of modern society, the people whom no rebuffs will discourage and no cold

shoulder chill, whose efforts have done so much to make our countrymen a byword abroad.

As many philosophers teach that trouble only is positive, happiness being merely relative; that in any case

trouble is pretty equally distributed among the different conditions of mankind; that, excepting the destitute

and physically afflicted, all God's creatures have a share of joy in their lives, would it not be more logical, as

well as more conducive to the general good, if a little more were done to make the young contented with their

lot in life, instead of constantly suggesting to a race already prone to be unsettled, that nothing short of the

top is worthy of an American citizen?

CHAPTER 26  The Climber

THAT form of misplaced ambition, which is the subject of the preceding chapter, can only be regarded

seriously when it occurs among simple and sincere people, who, however derided, honestly believe that they

are doing their duty to themselves and their families when they move heaven and earth to rise a few steps in

the world. The moment we find ambition taking a purely social form, it becomes ridiculous. The aim is so

paltry in comparison with the effort, and so out of proportion with the energyexerted to attain it, that one

can only laugh and wonder! Unfortunately, signs of this puerile spirit (peculiar to the last quarter of the

nineteenth century) can be seen on all hands and in almost every society.

That any man or woman should make it the unique aim and object of existence to get into a certain "set," not

from any hope of profit or benefit, nor from the belief that it is composed of brilliant and amusing people, but

simply because it passes for being exclusive and difficult of access, does at first seem incredible.

That humble young painters or singers should long to know personally the great lights of their professions,

and should strive to be accepted among them is easily understood, since the aspirants can reap but benefit,

present and future, from such companionship. That a rising politician should deem it allimportant to be on

friendly terms with the "bosses" is not astonishing, for those magnates have it in their power to make or mar

his fortune. But in a MILIEU as fluctuating as any social circle must necessarily be, shading off on all sides

and changing as constantly as light on water, the end can never be considered as achieved or the goal

attained.

Neither does any particular result accompany success, more substantial than the moral one which lies in

selfcongratulation. That, however, is enough for a climber if she is bitten with the "ascending" madness. (I

say "she," because this form of ambition is more frequent among women, although by no means unknown to

the sterner sex.)

It amuses me vastly to sit in my corner and watch one of these FIN DESIECLE diplomatists work out her

little problem. She generally comes plunging into our city from outside, hot for conquest, making

acquaintances right and left, indiscriminately; thus falling an easy prey to the wolves that prowl around the

edges of society, waiting for just such lambs to devour. Her first entertainments are worth attending for she

has ingeniously contrived to get together all the people she should have left out, and failed to attract the social

lights and powers of the moment. If she be a quickwitted lady, she soon sees the error of her ways and

begins a process of "weeding"  as difficult as it is unwise, each rejected "weed" instantly becoming an

enemy for life, not to speak of the risk she, in her ignorance, runs of mistaking for "detrimentals" the FINES

FLEURS of the worldly parterre. Ah! the way of the Climber is hard; she now begins to see that her path is

not strewn with flowers.


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One tactful person of this kind, whose gradual "unfolding" was watched with much amusement and wonder

by her acquaintances, avoided all these errors by going in early for a "dear friend." Having, after mature

reflection, chosen her guide among the most exclusive of the young matrons, she proceeded quietly to pay her

court EN REGLE. Flattering little notes, boxes of candy, and bunches of flowers were among the forms her

devotion took. As a natural result, these two ladies became inseparable, and the most hermetically sealed

doors opened before the new arrival.

A talent for music or acting is another aid. A few years ago an entire family were floated into the desired

haven on the waves of the sister's voice, and one young couple achieved success by the husband's aptitude for

games and sports. In the latter case it was the man of the family who did the work, dragging his wife up after

him. A polo pony is hardly one's idea of a battlehorse, but in this case it bore its rider on to success.

Once climbers have succeeded in installing themselves in the stronghold of their ambitions, they become

more exclusive than their new friends ever dreamed of being, and it tries one's self restraint to hear these

new arrivals deploring "the levelling tendencies of the age," or wondering "how nice people can be beginning

to call on those horrid SoandSos. Their father sold shoes, you know." This ultraexclusiveness is not to be

wondered at. The only attraction the circle they have just entered has for the climbers is its exclusiveness, and

they do not intend that it shall lose its market value in their hands. Like Baudelaire, they believe that "it is

only the small number saved that makes the charm of Paradise." Having spent hard cash in this investment,

they have every intention of getting their money's worth.

In order to give outsiders a vivid impression of the footing on which they stand with the great of the world,

all the women they have just met become Nellys and Jennys, and all the men Dicks and Freds  behind their

backs, BIEN ENTENDU  for Mrs. "Newcome" has not yet reached that point of intimacy which warrants

using such abbreviations directly to the owners.

Another amiable weakness common to the climber is that of knowing everybody. No name can be mentioned

at home or abroad but Parvenu happens to be on the most intimate terms with the owner, and when he is

conversing, great names drop out of his mouth as plentifully as did the pearls from the pretty lips of the girl in

the fairy story. All the world knows how such a gentleman, being asked on his return from the East if he had

seen "the Dardanelles," answered, "Oh, dear, yes! I dined with them several times!" thus settling satisfactorily

his standing in the Orient!

Climbing, like every other habit, soon takes possession of the whole nature. To abstain from it is torture.

Napoleon, we are told, found it impossible to rest contented on his successes, but was impelled onward by a

force stronger than his volition. In some such spirit the ambitious souls here referred to, after "the Conquest

of America" and the discovery that the fruit of their struggles was not worth very much, victory having

brought the inevitable satiety in its wake, sail away in search of new fields of adventure. They have long ago

left behind the friends and acquaintances of their childhood. Relations they apparently have none, which

accounts for the curious phenomenon that a parvenu is never in mourning. As no friendships bind them to

their new circle, the ties are easily loosened. Why should they care for one city more than for another, unless

it offer more of the sport they love? This continent has become tame, since there is no longer any struggle,

while over the sea vast hunting grounds and game worthy of their powder, form an irresistible temptation 

old and exclusive societies to be besieged, and contests to be waged compared to which their American

experiences are but light skirmishes. As the polo pony is supposed to pant for the fray, so the hearts of social

conquerors warm within them at the prospect of more brilliant victories.

The pleasure of following them on their hunting parties abroad will have to be deferred, so vast is the subject,

so full of thrilling adventure and, alas! also of humiliating defeat.


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CHAPTER 27  The Last of the Dandies

SO completely has the dandy disappeared from among us, that even the word has an oldtime look (as if it

had strayed out of some halfforgotten novel or "keepsake"), raising in our minds the picture of a slender,

cleanshaven youth, in very tight unmentionables strapped under his feet, a dark green frockcoat with a

collar up to the ears and a stock whose folds cover his chest, buttercolored gloves, and a hat  oh! a hat that

would collect a crowd in two minutes in any neighborhood! A goldheaded stick, and a quizzing glass, with a

black ribbon an inch wide, complete the toilet. In such a rig did the swells of the last generation stroll down

Pall Mall or drive their tilburys in the Bois.

The recent illness of the Prince de Sagan has made a strange and sad impression in many circles in Paris, for

he has always been a favorite, and is the last surviving type of a now extinct species. He is the last Dandy! No

understudy will be found to fill his role  the dude and the swell are whole generations away from the dandy,

of which they are but feeble reflections  the comedy will have to be continued now, without its leading

gentleman. With his head of silvery hair, his eyeglass and his wonderful waistcoats, he held the first place in

the "high life" of the French capital.

No first night or ball was complete without him, Sagan. The very mention of his name in their articles must

have kept the wolf from the door of needy reporters. No DEBUTANTE, social or theatrical, felt sure of her

success until it had received the hallmark of his approval. When he assisted at a dress rehearsal, the actors

and the managers paid him more attention than Sarcey or Sardou, for he was known to be the real arbiter of

their fate. His word was law, the world bowed before it as before the will of an autocrat. Mature matrons

received his dictates with the same reverence that the Old Guard evinced for Napoleon's orders. Had he not

led them on to victory in their youth?

On the boulevards or at a racecourse, he was the one person always known by sight and pointed out. "There

goes Sagan!" He had become an institution. One does not know exactly how or why he achieved the position,

which made him the most followed, flattered, and copied man of his day. It certainly was unique!

The Prince of Sagan is descended from Maurice de Saxe (the natural son of the King of Saxony and Aurora

of Koenigsmark), who in his day shone brilliantly at the French court and was so madly loved by Adrienne

Lecouvreur. From his great ancestor, Sagan inherited the title of Grand Duke Of Courland (the estates have

been absorbed into a neighboring empire). Nevertheless, he is still an R.H., and when crowned heads visit

Paris they dine with him and receive him on a footing of equality. He married a great fortune, and the

daughter of the banker Selliere. Their house on the Esplanade des Invalides has been for years the centre of

aristocratic life in Paris; not the most exclusive circle, but certainly the gayest of this gay capital, and from

the days of Louis Philippe he has given the keynote to the fast set.

Oddly enough, he has always been a great favorite with the lower classes (a popularity shared by all the

famous dandies of history). The people appear to find in them the personification of all aspirations toward the

elegant and the ideal. Alcibiades, Buckingham, the Duc de Richelieu, Lord Seymour, Comte d'Orsay,

Brummel, GrammontCaderousse, shared this favor, and have remained legendary characters, to whom their

disdain for everything vulgar, their worship of their own persons, and many costly follies gave an ephemeral

empire. Their power was the more arbitrary and despotic in that it was only nominal and undefined, allowing

them to rule over the fashions, the tastes, and the pastimes of their contemporaries with undivided sway,

making them envied, obeyed, loved, but rarely overthrown.

It has been asserted by some writers that dandies are necessary and useful to a nation (Thackeray admired

them and pointed out that they have a most difficult and delicate role to play, hence their rarity), and that

these butterflies, as one finds them in the novels of that day, the de Marsys, the Pelhams, the Maxime de

Trailles, are indispensable to the perfection of society. It is a great misfortune to a country to have no dandies,


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those supreme virtuosos of taste and distinction. Germany, which glories in Mozart and Kant, Goethe and

Humboldt, the country of deep thinkers and brave soldiers, never had a great dandy, and so has remained

behind England or France in all that constitutes the graceful side of life, the refinements of social intercourse,

and the art of living. France will perceive too late, after he has disappeared, the loss she has sustained when

this Prince, Grand Seigneur, has ceased to embellish by his presence her racecourses and "first nights." A

reputation like his cannot be improvised in a moment, and he has no pupils.

Never did the aristocracy of a country stand in greater need of such a representation, than in these days of

tramcars and "fixed price" restaurants. An entire "art" dies with him. It has been whispered that he has not

entirely justified his reputation, that the accounts of his exploits as a HAUT VIVEUR have gained in the

telling. Nevertheless he dominated an epoch, rising above the tumultuous and levelling society of his day, a

tardy Don Quixote, of the knighthood of pleasures, FETES, loves and prodigalities, which are no longer of

our time. His great name, his grand manner, his elderly graces, his serene carelessness, made him a being by

himself. No one will succeed this master of departed elegances. If he does not recover from his attack, if the

paralysis does not leave that poor brain, worn out with doing nothing, we can honestly say that he is the last

of his kind.

An original and independent thinker has asserted that civilizations, societies, empires, and republics go down

to posterity typified for the admiration of mankind, each under the form of some hero. Emerson would have

given a place in his Pantheon to Sagan. For it is he who sustained the traditions and became the type of that

distinguished and frivolous society, which judged that serious things were of no importance, enthusiasm a

waste of time, literature a bore; that nothing was interesting and worthy of occupying their attention except

the elegant distractions that helped to pass their daysand nights! He had the merit (?) in these days of the

practical and the commonplace, of preserving in his gracious person all the charming uselessness of a courtier

in a country where there was no longer a court.

What a strange sight it would be if this departing dandy could, before he leaves for ever the theatre of so

many triumphs, take his place at some street corner, and review the shades of the companions his long life

had thrown him with, the endless procession of departed belles and beaux, who, in their youth, had, under his

rule, helped to dictate the fashions and lead the sports of a world.

CHAPTER 28  A Nation on the Wing

ON being taken the other day through a large and costly residence, with the thoroughness that only the owner

of a new house has the cruelty to inflict on his victims, not allowing them to pass a closet or an electric bell

without having its particular use and convenience explained, forcing them to look up coalslides, and down

airshafts and to visit every secret place, from the cellar to the fireescape, I noticed that a peculiar

arrangement of the rooms repeated itself on each floor, and several times on a floor. I remarked it to my host.

"You observe it," he said, with a blush of pride, "it is my wife's idea! The truth is, my daughters are of a

marrying age, and my sons starting out for themselves; this house will soon be much too big for two old

people to live in alone. We have planned it so that at any time it can be changed into an apartment house at a

nominal expense. It is even wired and plumbed with that end in view!"

This answer positively took my breath away. I looked at my host in amazement. It was hard to believe that a

man past middle age, who after years of hardest toil could afford to put half a million into a house for himself

and his children, and store it with beautiful things, would have the courage to look so far into the future as to

see all his work undone, his home turned to another use and himself and his wife afloat in the world without a

roof over their wealthy old heads.


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Surely this was the Spirit of the Age in its purest expression, the more strikingly so that he seemed to feel

pride rather than anything else in his ingenious combination.

He liked the city he had built in well enough now, but nothing proved to him that he would like it later. He

and his wife had lived in twenty cities since they began their brave fight with Fortune, far away in a little

Eastern town. They had since changed their abode with each ascending rung of the ladder of success, and

beyond a faded daguerreotype or two of their children and a few modest pieces of jewelry, stored away in

cotton, it is doubtful if they owned a single object belonging to their early life.

Another case occurs to me. Near the village where I pass my summers, there lived an elderly, childless couple

on a splendid estate combining everything a fastidious taste could demand. One fine morning this place was

sold, the important library divided between the village and their native city, the furniture sold or given away,

everything went; at the end the things no one wanted were made into a bonfire and burned.

A neighbor asking why all this was being done was told by the lady, "We were tired of it all and have decided

to be 'Bohemians' for the rest of our lives." This couple are now wandering about Europe and half a dozen

trunks contain their belongings.

These are, of course, extreme cases and must be taken for what they are worth; nevertheless they are straws

showing which way the wind blows, signs of the times that he who runs may read. I do not run, but I often

saunter up our principal avenue, and always find myself wondering what will be the future of the splendid

residences that grace that thoroughfare as it nears the Park; the ascending tide of trade is already circling

round them and each year sees one or more crumble away and disappear.

The finer buildings may remain, turned into clubs or restaurants, but the greater part of the newer ones are so

illadapted to any other use than that for which they are built that their future seems obscure.

That fashion will flit away from its present haunts there can be little doubt; the city below the Park is sure to

be given up to business, and even the fine frontage on that green space will sooner or later be occupied by

hotels, if not stores; and he who builds with any belief in the permanency of his surroundings must indeed be

of a hopeful disposition.

A good lady occupying a delightful corner on this same avenue, opposite a onestory florist's shop, said:

"I shall remain here until they build across the way; then I suppose I shall have to move."

So after all the man who is contented to live in a future apartment house, may not be so very far wrong.

A case of the opposite kind is that of a great millionaire, who, dying, left his house and its collections to his

eldest son and his grandson after him, on the condition that they should continue to live in it.

Here was an attempt to keep together a home with its memories and associations. What has been the result?

The street that was a charming centre for residences twenty years ago has become a "slum;" the unfortunate

heirs find themselves with a house on their hands that they cannot live in and are forbidden to rent or sell. As

a final result the will must in all probability be broken and the matter ended.

Of course the reason for a great deal of this is the phenomenal growth of our larger cities. Hundreds of

families who would gladly remain in their old homes are fairly pushed out of them by the growth of business.

Everything has its limits and a time must come when our cities will cease to expand or when centres will be

formed as in London or Paris, where generations may succeed each other in the same homes. So far, I see no


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indications of any such crystallization in this our big city; we seem to be condemned like the "Wandering

Jew" or poor little "Joe" to be perpetually "moving on."

At a dinner of young people not long ago a Frenchman visiting our country, expressed his surprise on hearing

a girl speak of "not remembering the house she was born in." Piqued by his manner the young lady answered:

"We are twentyfour at this table. I do not believe there is one person here living in the house in which he or

she was born." This assertion raised a murmur of dissent around the table; on a census being taken it proved,

however, to be true.

How can one expect, under circumstances like these, to find any great respect among young people for home

life or the conservative side of existence? They are born as it were on the wing, and on the wing will they

live.

The conditions of life in this country, although contributing largely to such a state of affairs, must not be held,

however, entirely responsible. Underlying our civilization and culture, there is still strong in us a wild

nomadic strain inherited from a thousand generations of wandering ancestors, which breaks out so soon as

man is freed from the restraint incumbent on breadwinning for his family. The moment there is wealth or

even a modest income insured, comes the inclination to cut loose from the dull routine of business and duty,

returning instinctively to the migratory habits of primitive man.

We are not the only nation that has given itself up to globe trotting; it is strong in the English, in spite of

their conservative education, and it is surprising to see the number of formerly stayathome French and

Germans one meets wandering in foreign lands.

In 1855, a Londoner advertised the plan he had conceived of taking some people over to visit the

International Exhibition in Paris. For a fixed sum paid in advance he offered to provide everything and act as

courier to the party, and succeeded with the greatest difficulty in getting together ten people. From this

modest beginning has grown the vast undertaking that today covers the globe with tourists, from the frozen

seas where they "do" the midnight sun, to the deserts three thousand miles up the Nile.

As I was returning a couple of years ago VIA Vienna from Constantinople, the train was filled with a party of

our compatriots conducted by an agency of this kind  simple people of small means who, twenty years ago,

would as soon have thought of leaving their homes for a trip in the East as they would of starting off in

balloons en route for the interstellar spaces.

I doubted at the time as to the amount of information and appreciation they brought to bear on their travels, so

I took occasion to draw one of the thin, unsmiling women into conversation, asking her where they intended

stopping next.

"At BudaPesth," she answered. I said in some amusement:

"But that was BudaPesth we visited so carefully yesterday."

"Oh, was it," she replied, without any visible change on her face, "I thought we had not got there yet."

Apparently it was enough for her to be travelling; the rest was of little importance. Later in the day, when

asked if she had visited a certain old city in Germany, she told me she had but would never go there again:

"They gave us such poor coffee at the hotel." Again later in speaking to her husband, who seemed a trifle

vague as to whether he had seen Nuremberg or not, she said:

"Why, you remember it very well; it was there you bought those nice overshoes!"


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All of which left me with some doubts in my mind as to the cultivating influences of foreign travel on their

minds.

You cannot change a leopard's spots, neither can you alter the nature of a race, and one of the strongest

characteristics of the AngloSaxon, is the nomadic instinct. How often one hears people say:

"I am not going to sit at home and take care of my furniture. I want to see something of the world before I am

too old." Lately, a sprightly maiden of uncertain years, just returned from a long trip abroad, was asked if she

intended now to settle down.

"Settle down, indeed! I'm a butterfly and I never expect to settle down."

There is certainly food here for reflection. Why should we be more inclined to wander than our neighbors?

Perhaps it is in a measure due to our nervous, restless temperament, which is itself the result of our climate;

but whatever the cause is, inability to remain long in one place is having a most unfortunate influence on our

social life. When everyone is on the move or longing to be, it becomes difficult to form any but the most

superficial ties; strong friendships become impossible, the most intimate family relations are loosened.

If one were of a speculative frame of mind and chose to take as the basis for a calculation the increase in

tourists between 1855, when the ten pioneers started for Paris, and the number "personally conducted" over

land and sea today, and then glance forward at what the future will be if this ratio of increase is maintained

the result would be something too awful for words. For if ten have become a million in forty years, what will

be the total in 1955? Nothing less than entire nations given over to sightseeing, passing their lives and

incomes in rushing aimlessly about.

If the facilities of communication increase as they undoubtedly will with the demand, the prospect becomes

nearer the idea of a "Walpurgis Night" than anything else. For the earth and the sea will be covered and the

air filled with every form of whirling, flying, plunging device to get men quickly from one place to another.

Every human being on the globe will be flying South for the cold months and North for the hot season.

As personally conducted tours have been so satisfactory, agencies will be started to lead us through all the

stages of existence. Parents will subscribe on the birth of their children to have them personally conducted

through life and everything explained as it is done at present in the galleries abroad; food, lodging and

reading matter, husbands and wives will be provided by contract, to be taken back and changed if

unsatisfactory, as the big stores do with their goods. Delightful prospect! Homes will become superfluous,

parents and children will only meet when their "tours" happen to cross each other. Our greatgrandchildren

will float through life freed from every responsibility and more perfectly independent than even that

delightful dreamer, Bellamy, ventured to predict.

CHAPTER 29  Husks

AMONG the Protestants driven from France by that astute and liberalminded sovereign Louis XIV., were a

colony of weavers, who as all the world knows, settled at Spitalfields in England, where their descendants

weave silk to this day.

On their arrival in Great Britain, before the looms could be set up and a market found for their industry, the

exiles were reduced to the last extremity of destitution and hunger. Looking about them for anything that

could be utilized for food, they discovered that the owners of English slaughterhouses threw away as

worthless, the tails of the cattle they killed. Like all the poor in France, these wanderers were excellent cooks,

and knew that at home such caudal appendages were highly valued for the tenderness and flavor of the meat.


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To the amazement and disgust of the English villagers the new arrivals proceeded to collect this "refuse" and

carry it home for food. As the first principle of French culinary art is the POTAUFEU, the tails were

mostly converted into soup, on which the exiles thrived and feasted.

Their neighbors, envious at seeing the despised French indulging daily in savory dishes, unknown to English

palates, and tempted like "Jack's" giant by the smell of "fresh meat," began to inquire into the matter, and

slowly realized how, in their ignorance, they had been throwing away succulent and delicate food. The news

of this discovery gradually spreading through all classes, "oxtail" became and has remained the national

English soup.

If this veracious tale could be twisted into a metaphor, it would serve marvellously to illustrate the position of

the entire Anglo Saxon race, and especially that of their American descendants as regards the Latin peoples.

For foolish prodigality and reckless, ignorant extravagance, however, we leave our English cousins far

behind.

Two American hotels come to my mind, as different in their appearance and management as they are

geographically asunder. Both are types and illustrations of the wilful waste that has recently excited Mr. Ian

Maclaren's comment, and the woeful want (of good food) that is the result. At one, a dreary shingle

construction on a treeless island, off our New England coast, where the ideas of the landlord and his guests

have remained as unchanged and primitive as the island itself, I found on inquiry that all articles of food

coming from the first table were thrown into the sea; and I have myself seen chickens hardly touched, rounds

of beef, trays of vegetables, and every variety of cake and dessert tossed to the fish.

While we were having soups so thin and tasteless that they would have made a French housewife blush, the

ingredients essential to an excellent "stock" were cast aside. The boarders were paying five dollars a day and

appeared contented, the place was packed, the landlord coining money, so it was foolish to expect any

improvement.

The other hotel, a vast caravansary in the South, where a fortune had been lavished in providing every

modern convenience and luxury, was the "fad" of its wealthy owner. I had many talks with the manager

during my stay, and came to realize that most of the wastefulness I saw around me was not his fault, but that

of the public, to whose taste he was obliged to cater. At dinner, after receiving your order, the waiter would

disappear for half an hour, and then bring your entire meal on one tray, the overcooked meats stranded in

lakes of coagulated gravy, the entrees cold and the ices warm. He had generally forgotten two or three

essentials, but to send back for them meant to wait another halfhour, as his other clients were clamoring to

be served. So you ate what was before you in sulky disgust, and got out of the room as quickly as possible.

After one of these gastronomic races, being hungry, flustered, and suffering from indigestion, I asked mine

host if it had never occurred to him to serve a TABLE D'HOTE dinner (in courses) as is done abroad, where

hundreds of people dine at the same moment, each dish being offered them in turn accompanied by its

accessories.

"Of course, I have thought of it," he answered. "It would be the greatest improvement that could be

introduced into American hotel keeping. No one knows better than I do how disastrous the present system is

to all parties. Take as an example of the present way, the dinner I am going to give you tomorrow, in honor

of Christmas. Glance over this MENU. You will see that it enumerates every costly and delicate article of

food possible to procure and a long list of other dishes, the greater part of which will not even be called for.

As no number of CHEFS could possibly oversee the proper preparation of such a variety of meats and sauces,

all will be carelessly cooked, and as you know by experience, poorly served.


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"People who exact useless variety," he added, "are sure in some way to be the sufferers; in their anxiety to try

everything, they will get nothing worth eating. Yet that meal will cost me considerably more than my guests

pay for their twentyfour hours' board and lodging."

"Why do it, you ask? Because it is the custom, and because it will be an advertisement. These bills of fare

will be sown broadcast over the country in letters to friends and kept as souvenirs. If, instead of all this

senseless superfluity, I were allowed to give a TABLE D'HOTE meal tomorrow, with the CHEF I have, I

could provide an exquisite dinner, perfect in every detail, served at little tables as deftly and silently as in a

private house. I could also discharge half of my waiters, and charge two dollars a day instead of five dollars,

and the hotel would become (what it has never been yet) a paying investment, so great would he the saving."

"Only this morning," he continued, warming to his subject, "while standing in the dining room, I saw a young

man order and then send away half the dishes on the MENU. A chicken was broiled for him and rejected; a

steak and an omelette fared no better. How much do you suppose a hotel gains from a guest like that?"

"The reason Americans put up with such poor viands in hotels is, that home cooking in this country is so

rudimentary, consisting principally of fried dishes, and hot breads. So little is known about the proper

preparation of food that tomorrow's dinner will appear to many as the NE PLUS ULTRA of delicate living.

One of the charms of a hotel for people who live poorly at home, lies in this power to order expensive dishes

they rarely or never see on their own tables."

"To be served with a quantity of food that he has but little desire to eat is one of an American citizen's dearest

privileges, and a right he will most unwillingly relinquish. He may know as well as you and I do, that what he

calls for will not be worth eating; that is of secondary importance, he has it before him, and is contented."

"The hotel that attempted limiting the liberty of its guests to the extent of serving them a TABLE D'HOTE

dinner, would be emptied in a week."

"A crowning incongruity, as most people are delighted to dine with friends, or at public functions, where the

meal is invariably served A LA RUSSE (another name for a TABLE D'HOTE), and on these occasions are

only too glad to have their MENU chosen for them. The present way, however, is a remnant of 'old times' and

the average American, with all his love of change and novelty, is very conservative when it comes to his

table."

What this manager did not confide to me, but what I discovered later for myself, was that to facilitate the

service, and avoid confusion in the kitchens, it had become the custom at all the large and most of the small

hotels in this country, to carve the joints, cut up the game, and portion out vegetables, an hour or two before

meal time. The food, thus arranged, is placed in vast steam closets, where it simmers gayly for hours, in its

own, and fifty other vapors.

Any one who knows the rudiments of cookery, will recognize that with this system no viand can have any

particular flavor, the partridges having a taste of their neighbor the roast beef, which in turn suggests the

plum pudding it has been "chumming" with.

It is not alone in a hotel that we miss the good in grasping after the better. Small housekeeping is apparently

run on the same lines.

A young Frenchman, who was working in my rooms, told me in reply to a question regarding prices, that

every kind of food was cheaper here than abroad, but the prejudice against certain dishes was so strong in this

country that many of the best things in the markets were never called for. Our nation is no longer in its

"teens" and should cease to act like a foolish boy who has inherited (what appears to him) a limitless fortune;


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not for fear of his coming, like his prototype in the parable, to live on "husks" for he is doing that already, but

lest like the dog of the fable, in grasping after the shadow of a banquet he miss the simple meal that is within

his reach.

One of the reasons for this deplorable state of affairs lies in the foolish education our girls receive. They learn

so little housekeeping at home, that when married they are obliged to begin all over again, unless they prefer,

like a majority of their friends, to let things as go at the will and discretion of the "lady" below stairs.

At both hotels I have referred to, the families of the men interested considered it beneath them to know what

was taking place. The "daughter" of the New England house went semiweekly to Boston to take violin

lessons at ten dollars each, although she had no intention of becoming a professional, while the wife wrote

poetry and ignored the hotel side of her life entirely.

The "better half" of the Florida establishment hired a palace in Rome and entertained ambassadors. Hotels

divided against themselves are apt to be establishments where you pay for riotous living and are served only

with husks.

We have many hard lessons ahead of us, and one of the hardest will be for our nation to learn humbly from

the thrifty emigrants on our shores, the great art of utilizing the "tails" that are at this moment being so

recklessly thrown away.

As it is, in spite of markets overflowing with every fish, vegetable, and tempting viand, we continue to be the

worst fed, most meagrely nourished of all the wealthy nations on the face of the earth. We have a saying (for

an excellent reason unknown on the Continent) that Providence provides us with food and the devil sends the

cooks! It would be truer to say that the poorer the food resources of a nation, the more restricted the choice of

material, the better the cooks; a small latitude when providing for the table forcing them to a hundred clever

combinations and mysterious devices to vary the monotony of their cuisine and tempt a palate, by custom

staled.

Our heedless people, with great variety at their disposition, are unequal to the situation, wasting and

discarding the best, and making absolutely nothing of their advantages.

If we were enjoying our prodigality by living on the fat of the land, there would be less reason to reproach

ourselves, for every one has a right to live as he pleases. But as it is, our foolish prodigals are spending their

substance, while eating the husks!

CHAPTER 30  The Faubourg of St. Germain

THERE has been too much said and written in the last dozen years about breaking down the "great wall"

behind which the aristocrats of the famous Faubourg, like the Celestials, their prototypes, have ensconced

themselves. The Chinese speak of outsiders as "barbarians." The French ladies refer to such unfortunates as

being "beyond the pale." Almost all that has been written is arrant nonsense; that imaginary barrier exists

today on as firm a foundation, and is guarded by sentinels as vigilant as when, forty years ago, Napoleon

(third of the name) and his Spanish spouse mounted to its assault.

Their repulse was a bitter humiliation to the PARVENUE Empress, whose resentment took the form (along

with many other curious results) of opening the present Boulevard St. Germain, its line being intentionally

carried through the heart of that quarter, teeming with historic "Hotels" of the old aristocracy, where beautiful

constructions were mercilessly torn down to make way for the new avenue. The cajoleries which Eugenie

first tried and the blows that followed were alike unavailing. Even her worship of Marie Antoinette, between

whom and herself she found imaginary resemblances, failed to warm the stony hearts of the proud old ladies,


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to whom it was as gall and wormwood to see a nobody crowned in the palace of their kings. Like religious

communities, persecution only drew this old society more firmly together and made them stand by each other

in their distress. When the Bois was remodelled by Napoleon and the lake with its winding drive laid out, the

new Court drove of an afternoon along this water front. That was enough for the old swells! They retired to

the remote "Allee of the Acacias," and solemnly took their airing away from the bustle of the new world,

incidentally setting a fashion that has held good to this day; the lakeside being now deserted, and the

"Acacias" crowded of an afternoon, by all that Paris holds of elegant and inelegant.

Where the brilliant Second Empire failed, the Republic had little chance of success. With each succeeding

year the "Old Faubourg" withdrew more and more into its shell, going so far, after the fall of Mac Mahon, as

to change its "season" to the spring, so that the balls and FETES it gave should not coincide with the

"official" entertainments during the winter.

The next people to have a "shy" at the "Old Faubourg's" Gothic battlements were the Jews, who were

victorious in a few light skirmishes and succeeded in capturing one or two illustrious husbands for their

daughters. The wily Israelites, however, discovered that titled sonsinlaw were expensive articles and often

turned out unsatisfactorily, so they quickly desisted. The English, the most practical of societies, have always

left the Faubourg alone. It has been reserved for our countrywomen to lay the most determined siege yet

recorded to that untaken stronghold.

It is a characteristic of the American temperament to be unable to see a closed door without developing an

intense curiosity to know what is behind; or to read "No Admittance to the Public" over an entrance without

immediately determining to get inside at any price. So it is easy to understand the attraction an hermetically

sealed society would have for our fair compatriots. Year after year they have flung themselves against its

closed gateways. Repulsed, they have retired only to form again for the attack, but are as far away today

from planting their flag in that citadel as when they first began. It does not matter to them what is inside;

there may be (as in this case) only mouldy old halls and a group of people with antiquated ideas and ways. It

is enough for a certain type of woman to know that she is not wanted in an exclusive circle, to be ready to die

in the attempt to get there. This point of view reminds one of Mrs. Snob's saying about a new arrival at a

hotel: "I am sure she must be 'somebody' for she was so rude to me when I spoke to her;" and her answer to

her daughter when the girl said (on arriving at a wateringplace) that she had noticed a very nice family "who

look as if they wanted to know us, Mamma:"

"Then, my dear," replied Mamma Snob, "they certainly are not people we want to meet!"

The men in French society are willing enough to make acquaintance with foreigners. You may see the youth

of the Faubourg dancing at American balls in Paris, or running over for occasional visits to this country. But

when it comes to taking their womenkind with them, it is a different matter. Americans who have known

wellborn Frenchmen at school or college are surprised, on meeting them later, to be asked (cordially

enough) to dine EN GARCON at a restaurant, although their Parisian friend is married. An Englishman's or

American's first word would be on a like occasion:

"Come and dine with me tonight. I want to introduce you to my wife." Such an idea would never cross a

Frenchman's mind!

One American I know is a striking example of this. He was born in Paris, went to school and college there,

and has lived in that city all his life. His sister married a French nobleman. Yet at this moment, in spite of his

wealth, his charming American wife, and many beautiful entertainments, he has not one warm French friend,

or the ENTREE on a footing of intimacy to a single Gallic house.


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There is no analogy between the English aristocracy and the French nobility, except that they are both

antiquated institutions; the English is the more harmful on account of its legislative power, the French is the

more pretentious. The House of Lords is the most open club in London, the payment of an entrancefee in

the shape of a check to a party fund being an allsufficient sesame. In France, one must be born in the magic

circle. The spirit of the Emigration of 1793 is not yet extinct. The nobles live in their own world (how

expressive the word is, seeming to exclude all the rest of mankind), pining after an impossible

RESTAURATION, alien to the present day, holding aloof from politics for fear of coming in touch with the

masses, with whom they pride themselves on having nothing in common.

What leads many people astray on this subject is that there has formed around this ancient society a circle

composed of rich "outsiders," who have married into good families; and of eccentric members of the latter,

who from a love of excitement or for interested motives have broken away from their traditions. Newly

arrived Americans are apt to mistake this "world" for the real thing. Into this circle it is not difficult for

foreigners who are rich and anxious to see something of life to gain admission. To be received by the ladies

of this outer circle, seems to our compatriots to be an achievement, until they learn the real standing of their

new acquaintances.

No gayer houses, however, exist than those of the new set. At their city or country houses, they entertain

continually, and they are the people one meets toward five o'clock, on the grounds of the Polo Club, in the

Bois, at FETES given by the Island Club of Puteaux, attending the race meetings, or dining at American

houses. As far as amusement and fun go, one might seek much further and fare worse.

It is very, very rare that foreigners get beyond this circle. Occasionally there is a marriage between an

American girl and some Frenchman of high rank. In these cases the girl is, as it were, swallowed up. Her

family see little of her, she rarely appears in general society, and, little by little, she is lost to her old friends

and relations. I know of several cases of this kind where it is to be doubted if a dozen Americans outside of

the girls' connections know that such women exist. The fall in rents and land values has made the French

aristocracy poor; it is only by the greatest economy (and it never entered into an American mind to conceive

of such economy as is practised among them) that they succeed in holding on to their historical chateaux or

beautiful city residences; so that pride plays a large part in the isolation in which they live.

The fact that no titles are recognized officially by the French government (the most they can obtain being a

"courtesy" recognition) has placed these people in a singularly false position. An American girl who has

married a Duke is a good deal astonished to find that she is legally only plain "Madame So and So;" that

when her husband does his military service there is no trace of the highsounding title to be found in his

official papers. Some years ago, a colonel was rebuked because he allowed the Duc d'Alencon to be

addressed as "Monseigneur" by the other officers of his regiment. This ought to make ambitious papas

reflect, when they treat themselves to titled sonsinlaw. They should at least try and get an article

recognized by the law.

Most of what is written here is perfectly well known to resident Americans in Paris, and has been the cause of

gradually splitting that once harmonious settlement into two perfectly distinct camps, between which no love

is lost. The members of one, clinging to their countrymen's creed of having the best or nothing, have been

contented to live in France and know but few French people, entertaining among themselves and marrying

their daughters to Americans. The members of the other, who have "gone in" for French society, take what

they can get, and, on the whole, lead very jolly lives. It often happens (perhaps it is only a coincidence) that

ladies who have not been very successful at home are partial to this circle, where they easily find guests for

their entertainments and the recognition their souls long for.

What the future of the "Great Faubourg" will be, it is hard to say. All hope of a possible RESTAURATION

appears to be lost. Will the proud necks that refused to bend to the Orleans dynasty or the two "empires" bow


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themselves to the republican yoke? It would seem as if it must terminate in this way, for everything in this

world must finish. But the end is not yet; one cannot help feeling sympathy for people who are trying to live

up to their traditions and be true to such immaterial idols as "honor" and "family" in this discouragingly

material age, when everything goes down before the Golden Calf. Nor does one wonder that men who can

trace their ancestors back to the Crusades should hesitate to ally themselves with the last rich PARVENU

who has raised himself from the gutter, or resent the ardor with which the latest importation of American

ambition tries to chum with them and push its way into their life.

CHAPTER 31  Men's Manners

NOTHING makes one feel so old as to wake up suddenly, as it were, and realize that the conditions of life

have changed, and that the standards you knew and accepted in your youth have been raised or lowered. The

young men you meet have somehow become uncomfortably polite, offering you armchairs in the club, and

listening with a shade of deference to your stories. They are of another generation; their ways are not your

ways, nor their ambitions those you had in younger days. One is tempted to look a little closer, to analyze

what the change is, in what this subtle difference consists, which you feel between your past and their

present. You are surprised and a little angry to discover that, among other things, young men have better

manners than were general among the youths of fifteen years ago.

Anyone over forty can remember three epochs in men's manners. When I was a very young man, there were

still going about in society a number of gentlemen belonging to what was reverently called the "old school,"

who had evidently taken Sir Charles Grandison as their model, read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with

attention, and been brought up to commence letters to their fathers, "Honored Parent," signing themselves

"Your humble servant and respectful son." There are a few such old gentlemen still to be found in the more

conservative clubs, where certain windows are tacitly abandoned to these elegantmannered fossils. They are

quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent mood, when they are apt to be a little

tiresome; it takes their rusty mental machinery so long to get working! Washington possesses a particularly

fine collection among the retired army and navy officers and exofficials. It is a fact well known that no one

drawing a pension ever dies.

About 1875, a new generation with new manners began to make its appearance. A number of its members

had been educated at English universities, and came home burning to upset old ways and teach their elders

how to live. They broke away from the old clubs and started smaller and more exclusive circles among

themselves, principally in the country. This was a period of bad manners. True to their English model, they

considered it "good form" to be uncivil and to make no effort towards the general entertainment when in

society. Not to speak more than a word or two during a dinner party to either of one's neighbors was the

supreme CHIC. As a revolt from the twicetold tales of their elders they held it to be "bad form" to tell a

story, no matter how fresh and amusing it might be. An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in their

club was crushed by having his tale received in dead silence. When it was finished one of the party would

"ring the bell," and the circle order drinks at the expense of the man who had dared to amuse them. How the

professional storyteller must have shuddered  he whose story never was ripe until it had been told a couple

of hundred times, and who would produce a certain tale at a certain course as surely as clockwork.

That the storytelling type was a bore, I grant. To be grabbed on entering your club and obliged to listen to

Smith's last, or to have the conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his eternal "Speaking of

coffee, I remember once," etc. added an additional hardship to existence. But the opposite pose, which

became the fashion among the reformers, was hardly less wearisome. To sit among a group of perfectly mute

men, with an occasional word dropping into the silence like a stone in a well, was surely little better.

A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a youth whose only remark during the evening

had been (after absorbed contemplation of the articles in question), "How do you like my socks?"


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On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me:

"I think the man on my right has gone to sleep. He is sitting with his eyes closed!" She was mistaken. He was

practising his newly acquired "repose of manner," and living up to the standard of his set.

The model young man of that period had another offensive habit, his pose of never seeing you, which got on

the nerves of his elders to a considerable extent. If he came into a drawingroom where you were sitting with

a lady, he would shake hands with her and begin a conversation, ignoring your existence, although you may

have been his guest at dinner the night before, or he yours. This was also a tenet of his creed borrowed from

transAtlantic cousins, who, by the bye, during the time I speak of, found America, and especially our

Eastern states, a happy huntingground,  all the clubs, country houses, and society generally opening their

doors to the "sesame" of English nationality. It took our innocent youths a good ten years to discover that

there was no reciprocity in the arrangement; it was only in the next epoch (the list of the three referred to) that

our men recovered their selfrespect, and assumed towards foreigners in general the attitude of polite

indifference which is their manner to us when abroad. Nothing could have been more provincial and narrow

than the ideas of our "smart" men at that time. They congregated in little cliques, huddling together in public,

and cracking personal old jokes; but were speechless with MAUVAISE HONTE if thrown among foreigners

or into other circles of society. All this is not to be wondered at considering the amount of their general

education and reading. One charming little custom then greatly in vogue among our JEUNESSE DOREE was

to remain at a ball, after the other guests had retired, tipsy, and then break anything that came to hand. It was

so amusing to throw china, glass, or valuable plants, out of the windows, to strip to the waist and box or bait

the tired waiters.

I look at the boys growing up around me with sincere admiration, they are so superior to their predecessors in

breeding, in civility, in deference to older people, and in a thousand other little ways that mark highbred

men. The stray Englishman, of no particular standing at home no longer finds our men eager to entertain him,

to put their best "hunter" at his disposition, to board, lodge, and feed him indefinitely, or make him honorary

member of all their clubs. It is a constant source of pleasure to me to watch this younger generation, so

plainly do I see in them the influence of their mothers  women I knew as girls, and who were so far ahead of

their brothers and husbands in refinement and culture. To have seen these girls marry and bring up their sons

so well has been a satisfaction and a compensation for many disillusions. Woman's influence will always

remain the strongest lever that can be brought to bear in raising the tone of a family; it is impossible not to

see about these young men a reflection of what we found so charming in their mothers. One despairs at times

of humanity, seeing vulgarity and snobbishness riding triumphantly upward; but where the tone of the

younger generation is as high as I have lately found it, there is still much hope for the future.

CHAPTER 32  An Ideal Hostess

THE saying that "Onehalf of the world ignores how the other half lives" received for me an additional

confirmation this last week, when I had the good fortune to meet again an old friend, now for some years

retired from the stage, where she had by her charm and beauty, as well as by her singing, held all the Parisian

world at her pretty feet.

Our meeting was followed on her part by an invitation to take luncheon with her the next day, "to meet a few

friends, and talk over old times." So halfpast twelve (the invariable hour for the "second breakfast," in

France) the following day found me entering a shady drawingroom, where a few people were sitting in the

cool halflight that strayed across from a canvascovered balcony furnished with plants and low chairs.

Beyond one caught a glimpse of perhaps the gayest picture that the bright city of Paris offers,  the sweep of

the Boulevard as it turns to the Rue Royale, the flower market, gay with a thousand colors in the summer

sunshine, while above all the color and movement, rose, cool and gray, the splendid colonnade of the

Madeleine. The rattle of carriages, the roll of the heavy omnibuses and the shrill cries from the street below


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floated up, softened into a harmonious murmur that in no way interfered with our conversation, and is

sweeter than the finest music to those who love their Paris.

Five or six rooms EN SUITE opening on the street, and as many more on a large court, formed the apartment,

where everything betrayed the ARTISTE and the singer. The walls, hung with silk or tapestry, held a

collection of original drawings and paintings, a fortune in themselves; the dozen portraits of our hostess in

favorite roles were by men great in the art world; a couple of pianos covered with wellworn music and

numberless photographs signed with names that would have made an autographfiend's mouth water.

After a gracious, cooing welcome, more whispered than spoken, I was presented to the guests I did not know.

Before this ceremony was well over, two maids in black, with white caps, opened a door into the

diningroom and announced luncheon. As this is written on the theme that "people know too little how their

neighbors live," I give the MENU. It may amuse my readers and serve, perhaps, as a little object lesson to

those at home who imagine that quantity and not quality is of importance.

Our gracious hostess had earned a fortune in her profession (and I am told that two CHEFS preside over her

simple meals); so it was not a spirit of economy which dictated this simplicity. At first, HORS D'OEUVRES

were served,  all sorts of tempting little things,  very thin slices of ham, spiced sausages, olives and caviar,

and eaten  not merely passed and refused. Then came the one hot dish of the meal. "One!" I think I hear my

reader exclaim. Yes, my friend, but that one was a marvel in its way. Chicken A L'ESPAGNOLE, boiled, and

buried in rice and tomatoes cooked whole  a dish to be dreamed of and remembered in one's prayers and

thanksgivings! After at least two helpings each to this CHEF D'OEUVRE, cold larded fillet and a meat pate

were served with the salad. Then a bit of cheese, a beaten cream of chocolate, fruit, and bonbons. For a

drink we had the white wine from which champagne is made (by a chemical process and the addition of many

injurious ingredients); in other words, a pure BRUT champagne with just a suggestion of sparkle at the

bottom of your glass. All the party then migrated together into the smokingroom for cigarettes, coffee, and a

tiny glass of LIQUEUR.

These details have been given at length, not only because the meal seemed to me, while I was eating it, to be

worthy of whole columns of print, but because one of the besetting sins of our dear land is to serve a

profusion of food no one wants and which the hostess would never have dreamed of ordering had she been

alone.

Nothing is more wearisome than to sit at table and see course after course, good, bad, and indifferent, served,

after you have eaten what you want. And nothing is more vulgar than to serve them; for either a guest refuses

a great deal of the food and appears uncivil, or he must eat, and regret it afterwards. If we ask people to a

meal, it should be to such as we eat, as a general thing, ourselves, and such as they would have at home.

Otherwise it becomes ostentation and vulgarity. Why should one be expelled to eat more than usual because a

friend has been nice enough to ask one to take one's dinner with him, instead of eating it alone? It is the being

among friends that tempts, not the food; the fact at skilful waiters have been able to serve a dozen varieties of

fish, flesh, and fowl during the time you were at table has added little to any one's pleasure. On the contrary!

Half the time one eats from pure absence of mind, a number of most injurious mixtures and so prepares an

awful tomorrow and the foundation of many complicated diseases.

I see Smith and Jones daily at the club, where we dine cheerfully together on soup, a cut of the joint, a

dessert, and drink a pint of claret. But if either Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jones asks me to dinner, we have eight

courses and half as many wines, and Smith will say quite gravely to me, "Try this '75 'Perrier Jouet'," as if he

were in the habit of drinking it daily. It makes me smile, for he would as soon think of ordering a bottle of

that wine at the club as he would think of ordering a flask of nectar.


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But to return to our "mutton." As we had none of us eaten too much (and so become digesting machines), we

were cheerful and sprightly. A little music followed and an author repeated some of his poetry. I noticed that

during the hour before we broke up our hostess contrived to have a little talk with each of her guests, which

she made quite personal, appearing for the moment as though the rest of the world did not exist for her, than

which there is no more subtle flattery, and which is the act of a wellbred and appreciative woman. Guests

cannot be treated EN MASSE any more than food; to ask a man to your house is not enough. He should be

made to feel, if you wish him to go away with a pleasant remembrance of the entertainment, that his presence

has in some way added to it and been a personal pleasure to his host.

A good soul that all New York knew a few years ago, whose entertainments were as though the street had

been turned into a SALON for the moment, used to go about among her guests saying, "There have been one

hundred and seventyfive people here this Thursday, ten more than last week," with such a satisfied smile,

that you felt that she had little left to wish for, and found yourself wondering just which number you

represented in her mind. When you entered she must have murmured a numeral to herself as she shook your

hand.

There is more than one house in New York where I have grave doubts if the host and hostess are quite sure of

my name when I dine there; after an abstracted welcome, they rarely put themselves out to entertain their

guests. Black coats and evening dresses alternate in pleasing perspective down the long line of their table.

Their gold plate is out, and the CHEF has been allowed to work his own sweet will, so they give themselves

no further trouble.

Why does not some one suggest to these amphitrions to send fifteen dollars in prettily monogrammed

envelopes to each of their friends, requesting them to expend it on a dinner. The compliment would be quite

as personal, and then the guests might make up little parties to suit themselves, which would be much more

satisfactory than going "in" with some one chosen at hazard from their host's visiting list, and less fatiguing to

that gentleman and his family.

CHAPTER 33  The Introducer

WE all suffer more or less from the perennial "freshness" of certain acquaintances  tiresome people whom a

misguided Providence has endowed with overflowing vitality and an irrepressible love of their fellowmen,

and who, not content with looking on life as a continual "spree," insist on making others happy in spite of

themselves. Their name is legion and their presence ubiquitous, but they rarely annoy as much as when

disguised under the mask of the "Introducer." In his clutches one is helpless. It is impossible to escape from

such philanthropic tyranny. He, in his freshness, imagines that to present human beings to each other is his

mission in this world and moves through life making these platonic unions, oblivious, as are other

matchmakers, of the misery he creates.

If you are out for a quiet stroll, one of these genial gentlemen is sure to come bounding up, and without notice

or warning present you to his "friend,"  the greater part of the time a man he has met only an hour before,

but whom he endows out of the warehouse of his generous imagination with several talents and all the

virtues. In order to make the situation just one shade more uncomfortable, this kindly bore proceeds to sing a

hymn of praise concerning both of you to your faces, adding, in order that you may both feel quite friendly

and pleasant:

"I know you two will fancy each other, you are so alike,"  a phrase neatly calculated to nip any conversation

in the bud. You detest the unoffending stranger on the spot and would like to kill the bore. Not to appear an

absolute brute you struggle through some commonplace phrases, discovering the while that your new

acquaintance is no more anxious to know you, than you are to meet him; that he has not the slightest idea

who you are, neither does he desire to find out. He classes you with the bore, and his one idea, like your own,


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is to escape. So that the only result of the Introducer's goodnatured interference has been to make two

fellow creatures miserable.

A friend was telling me the other day of the martyrdom he had suffered from this class. He spoke with much

feeling, as he is the soul of amiability, but somewhat shortsighted and afflicted with a hopelessly bad

memory for faces. For the last few years, he has been in the habit of spending one or two of the winter

months in Washington, where his friends put him up at one club or another. Each winter on his first

appearance at one of these clubs, some kindly disposed old fogy is sure to present him to a circle of the

members, and he finds himself indiscriminately shaking hands with Judges and Colonels. As little or no

conversation follows these introductions to fix the individuality of the members in his mind, he

unconsciously cuts twothirds of his newly acquired circle the next afternoon, and the following winter, after

a tenmonths' absence, he innocently ignores the other third. So hopelessly has he offended in this way, that

last season, on being presented to a club member, the latter peevishly blurted out:

"This is the fourth time I have been introduced to Mr. Blank, but he never remembers me," and glared coldly

at him, laying it all down to my friend's snobbishness and to the airs of a New Yorker when away from home.

If instead of being sacrificed to the introducer's mistaken zeal my poor friend had been left quietly to himself,

he would in good time have met the people congenial to him and avoided giving offence to a number of

kindly gentlemen.

This introducing mania takes an even more aggressive form in the hostess, who imagines that she is lacking

in hospitality if any two people in her drawingroom are not made known to each other. No matter how

interested you may be in a chat with a friend, you will see her bearing down upon you, bringing in tow the

one human being you have carefully avoided for years. Escape seems impossible, but as a forlorn hope you

fling yourself into conversation with your nearest neighbor, trying by your absorbed manner to ward off the

calamity. In vain! With a tap on your elbow your smiling hostess introduces you and, having spoiled your

afternoon, flits off in search of other prey.

The question of introductions is one on which it is impossible to lay down any fixed rules. There must

constantly occur situations where one's acts must depend upon a kindly consideration for other people's

feelings, which after all, is only another name for tact. Nothing so plainly shows the breeding of a man or

woman as skill in solving problems of this kind without giving offence.

Foreigners, with their greater knowledge of the world, rarely fall into the error of indiscriminate introducing,

appreciating what a presentation means and what obligations it entails. The English fall into exactly the

contrary error from ours, and carry it to absurd lengths. Starting with the assumption that everybody knows

everybody, and being aware of the general dread of meeting "detrimentals," they avoid the difficulty by

making no introductions. This may work well among themselves, but it is trying to a stranger whom they

have been good enough to ask to their tables, to sit out the meal between two people who ignore his presence

and converse across him; for an Englishman will expire sooner than speak to a person to whom he has not

been introduced.

The French, with the marvellous tact that has for centuries made them the lawgivers on all subjects of

etiquette and breeding, have another way of avoiding useless introductions. They assume that two people

meeting in a drawingroom belong to the same world and so chat pleasantly with those around them. On

leaving the SALON the acquaintance is supposed to end, and a gentleman who should at another time or

place bow or speak to the lady who had offered him a cup of tea and talked pleasantly to him over it at a

friend's reception, would commit a gross breach of etiquette.

I was once present at a large dinner given in Cologne to the American Geographical Society. No sooner was I

seated than my two neighbors turned towards me mentioning their names and waiting for me to do the same.


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After that the conversation flowed on as among friends. This custom struck me as exceedingly wellbred and

calculated to make a foreigner feel at his ease.

Among other curious types, there are people so constituted that they are unhappy if a single person can be

found in the room to whom they have not been introduced. It does not matter who the stranger may be or

what chance there is of finding him congenial. They must be presented; nothing else will content them. If you

are chatting with a friend you feel a pull at your sleeve, and in an audible aside, they ask for an introduction.

The aspirant will then bring up and present the members of his family who happen to be near. After that he

seems to be at ease, and having absolutely nothing to say will soon drift off. Our public men suffer terribly

from promiscuous introductions; it is a part of a political career; a good memory for names and faces and a

cordial manner under fire have often gone a long way in floating a statesman on to success.

Demand, we are told, creates supply. During a short stay in a Florida hotel last winter, I noticed a curious

little man who looked like a cross between a waiter and a musician. As he spoke to me several times and

seemed very officious, I asked who he was. The answer was so grotesque that I could not believe my ears. I

was told that he held the position of official "introducer," or master of ceremonies, and that the guests under

his guidance became known to each other, danced, rode, and married to their own and doubtless to his

satisfaction. The further west one goes the more pronounced this mania becomes. Everybody is introduced to

everybody on all imaginable occasions. If a man asks you to take a drink, he presents you to the bartender.

If he takes you for a drive, the cabdriver is introduced. "Boots" makes you acquainted with the

chambermaid, and the hotel proprietor unites you in the bonds of friendship with the clerk at the desk.

Intercourse with one's fellows becomes one long debauch of introduction. In this country where every liberty

is respected, it is a curious fact that we should be denied the most important of all rights, that of choosing our

acquaintances.

CHAPTER 34  A Question and an Answer

DEAR IDLER:

I HAVE been reading your articles in The Evening Post. They are really most amusing! You do know such a

lot about people and things, that I am tempted to write and ask you a question on a subject that is puzzling

me. What is it that is necessary to succeed  socially? There! It is out! Please do not laugh at me. Such funny

people get on and such clever, agreeable ones fail, that I am all at sea. Now do be nice and answer me, and

you will have a very grateful

ADMIRER.

The above note, in a rather juvenile feminine hand, and breathing a faint perfume of VIOLETTE DE

PARME, was part of the morning's mail that I found lying on my desk a few days ago, in delightful contrast

to the bills and advertisements which formed the bulk of my correspondence. It would suppose a stoicism

greater than I possess, not to have felt a thrill of satisfaction in its perusal. There was, then, some one who

read with pleasure what I wrote, and who had been moved to consult me on a question (evidently to her) of

importance. I instantly decided to do my best for the edification of my fair correspondent (for no doubt

entered my head that she was both young and fair), the more readily because that very question had

frequently presented itself to my own mind on observing the very capricious choice of Dame "Fashion" in the

distribution of her favors.

That there are people who succeed brilliantly and move from success to success, amid an applauding crowd

of friends and admirers, while others, apparently their superiors in every way, are distanced in the race, is an

undeniable fact. You have but to glance around the circle of your acquaintances and relations to be convinced

of this anomaly. To a reflecting mind the question immediately presents itself, Why is this? General society is


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certainly cultivated enough to appreciate intelligence and superior endowments. How then does it happen that

the social favorites are so often lacking in the qualities which at a first glance would seem indispensable to

success?

Before going any further let us stop a moment, and look at the subject from another side, for it is more serious

than appears to be on the surface. To be loved by those around us, to stand well in the world, is certainly the

most legitimate as well as the most common of ambitions, as well as the incentive to most of the industry and

perseverance in life. Aside from science, which is sometimes followed for itself alone, and virtue, which we

are told looks for no other reward, the hope which inspires a great deal of the persistent efforts we see, is

generally that of raising one's self and those one loves by one's efforts into a sphere higher than where cruel

fate had placed them; that they, too, may take their place in the sunshine and enjoy the good things of life.

This ambition is often purely disinterested; a life of hardest toil is cheerfully borne, with the hope (for sole

consolation) that dear ones will profit later by all the work, and live in a circle the patient toiler never dreams

of entering. Surely he is a stern moralist who would deny this satisfaction to the breadwinner of a family.

There are doubtless many higher motives in life, more elevated goals toward which struggling humanity

should strive. If you examine the average mind, however, you will be pretty sure to find that success is the

touchstone by which we judge our fellows and what, in our hearts, we admire the most. That is not to be

wondered at, either, for we have done all we can to implant it there. From a child's first opening thought, it is

impressed upon him that the great object of existence is to succeed. Did a parent ever tell a child to try and

stand last in his class? And yet humility is a virtue we admire in the abstract. Are any of us willing to step

aside and see our inferiors pass us in the race? That is too much to ask of poor humanity. Were other and

higher standards to be accepted, the structure of civilization as it exists today would crumble away and the

great machine run down.

In returning to my correspondent and her perfectly legitimate desire to know the road to success, we must

realize that to a large part of the world social success is the only kind they understand. The great inventors

and benefactors of mankind live too far away on a plane by themselves to be the object of jealousy to any but

a very small circle; on the other hand, in these days of equality, especially in this country where caste has

never existed, the social world seems to hold out alluring and tangible gifts to him who can enter its

enchanted portals. Even politics, to judge by the actions of some of our legislators, of late, would seem to be

only a steppingstone to its door!

"But my question," I hear my fair interlocutor saying. "You are not answering it!"

All in good time, my dear. I am just about to do so. Did you ever hear of Darwin and his theory of

"selection?" It would be a slight to your intelligence not to take it for granted that you had. Well, my

observations in the world lead me to believe that we follow there unconsciously, the same rules that guide the

wild beasts in the forest. Certain individuals are endowed by nature with temperaments which make them

take naturally to a social life and shine there. In it they find their natural element. They develop freely just

where others shrivel up and disappear. There is continually going on unseen a "natural selection," the

discarding of unfit material, the assimilation of new and congenial elements from outside, with the logical

result of a survival of the fittest. Aside from this, you will find in "the world," as anywhere else, that the

person who succeeds is generally he who has been willing to give the most of his strength and mind to that

one object, and has not allowed the flowers on the hillside to distract him from his path, remembering also

that genius is often but the "capacity for taking infinite pains."

There are people so constituted that they cheerfully give the efforts of a lifetime to the attainment of a

brilliant social position. No fatigue is too great, and no snubs too bitter to be willingly undergone in pursuit of

the cherished object. You will never find such an individual, for instance, wandering in the flowery byways

that lead to art or letters, for that would waste his time. If his family are too hard to raise, he will abandon the


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attempt and rise without them, for he cannot help himself. He is but an atom working as blindly upward as

the plant that pushes its mysterious way towards the sun. Brains are not necessary. Good looks are but a

trump the more in the "hand." Manners may help, but are not essential. The object can be and is attained daily

without all three. Wealth is but the oil that makes the machinery run more smoothly. The allimportant factor

is the desire to succeed, so strong that it makes any price seem cheap, and that can pay itself by a step gained,

for mortification and weariness and heartburnings.

There, my dear, is the secret of success! I stop because I feel myself becoming bitter, and that is a frame of

mind to be carefully avoided, because it interferes with the digestion and upsets one's gentle calm! I have

tried to answer your question. The answer resolves itself into these two things; that it is necessary to be born

with qualities which you may not possess, and calls for sacrifices you would doubtless be unwilling to make.

It remains with you to decide if the little game is worth the candle. The delightful common sense I feel quite

sure you possess reassures me as to your answer.

Take gayly such good things as may float your way, and profit by them while they last. Wander off into all

the crossroads that tempt you. Stop often to lend a helping hand to a less fortunate traveller. Rest in the heat

of the day, as your spirit prompts you. Sit down before the sunset and revel in its beauty and you will find

your voyage through life much more satisfactory to look back to and full of far sweeter memories than if by

sacrificing any of these pleasures you had attained the greatest of "positions."

CHAPTER 35  Living on your Friends

THACKERAY devoted a chapter in "Vanity Fair" to the problem "How to Live Well on Nothing a Year." It

was neither a very new nor a very ingenious expedient that "Becky" resorted to when she discounted her

husband's position and connection to fleece the tradespeople and cheat an old family servant out of a year's

rent. The author might more justly have used his clever phrase in describing "Major Pendennis's" agreeable

existence. We have made great progress in this, as in almost every other mode of living, in the latter half of

the Victorian era; intelligent individuals of either sex, who know the ropes, can now as easily lead the

existence of a multi millionaire (with as much satisfaction to themselves and their friends) as though the

bank account, with all its attendant worries, stood in their own names. This subject is so vast, its ramifications

so farreaching and complicated, that one hesitates before launching into an analysis of it. It will be better

simply to give a few interesting examples, and a general rule or two, for the enlightenment and guidance of

ingenious souls.

Human nature changes little; all that our educational and social training has accomplished is a smoothing of

the surface. One of the most striking proofs of this is, that here in our primitive country, as soon as

accumulation of capital allowed certain families to live in great luxury, they returned to the ways of older

aristocracies, and, with other wants, felt the necessity of a court about them, ladies and gentlemen in waiting,

pages and jesters. Nature abhors a vacuum, so a class of people immediately felt an irresistible impulse to

rush in and fill the void. Our aristocrats were not even obliged to send abroad to fill these vacancies, as they

were for their footmen and butlers; the native article was quite ready and willing and, considering the little

practice it could have had, proved wonderfully adapted to the work.

When the mania for building immense country houses and yachts (the owning of opera boxes goes a little

further back) first attacked this country, the builders imagined that, once completed, it would be the easiest,

as well as the most delightful task to fill them with the pick of their friends, that they could get all the talented

and agreeable people they wanted by simply making a sign. To their astonishment, they discovered that what

appeared so simple was a difficult, as well as a thankless labor. I remember asking a lady who had owned a

"proscenium" at the old Academy, why she had decided not to take a box in the (then) new operahouse.


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"Because, having passed thirty years of my life inviting people to sit in my box, I intend now to rest." It is

very much the same thing with yachts. A couple who had determined to go around the world, in their lately

finished boat, were dumbfounded to find their invitations were not eagerly accepted. After exhausting the

small list of people they really wanted, they began with others indifferent to them, and even then filled out

their number with difficulty. A hostess who counts on a series of house parties through the autumn months,

must begin early in the summer if she is to have the guests she desires.

It is just here that the "professional," if I may be allowed to use such an expression, comes to the front. He is

always available. It is indifferent to him if he starts on a tour around the world or for a winter spree to

Montreal. He is always amusing, good humored, and can be counted on at the last moment to fill any vacant

place, without being the least offended at the tardy invitation, for he belongs to the class who have discovered

"how to live well on nothing a year." Luxury is as the breath of his nostrils, but his means allow of little

beyond necessities. The temptation must be great when everything that he appreciates most (and cannot

afford) is urged upon him. We should not pose as too stern moralists, and throw stones at him; for there may

enter more "best French plate" into the composition of our own houses than we imagine.

It is here our epoch shows its improvement over earlier and cruder days. At present no toadeating is

connected with the acceptance of hospitality, or, if occasionally a small "batrachian" is offered, it is so well

disguised by an accomplished CHEF, and served on such exquisite old Dresden, that it slips down with very

little effort. Even this rarely occurs, unless the guest has allowed himself to become the inmate of a residence

or yacht. Then he takes his chance with other members of the household, and if the host or hostess happens to

have a bad temper as a setoff to their good table, it is apt to fare ill with our friend.

So far, I have spoken of this class in the masculine, which is an error, as the art is successfully practised by

the weaker sex, with this shade of difference. As an unmarried woman is in less general demand, she is apt to

attach herself to one dear friend, always sure to be a lady in possession of fine country and city houses and

other appurtenances of wealth, often of inferior social standing; so that there is give and take, the guest

rendering real service to an ambitious hostess. The feminine aspirant need not be handsome. On the contrary,

an agreeable plainness is much more acceptable, serving as a foil. But she must be excellent in all games,

from golf to piquet, and willing to play as often and as long as required. She must also cheerfully go in to

dinner with the blue ribbon bore of the evening, only asked on account of his pretty wife (by the bye, why is

it that Beauty is so often flanked by the Beast?), and sit between him and the "second prize" bore. These two

worthies would have been the portion of the hostess fifteen years ago; she would have considered it her duty

to absorb them and prevent her other guests suffering. MAIS NOUS AVONS CHANGE TOUT CELA. The

lady of the house now thinks first of amusing herself, and arranges to sit between two favorites.

Society has become much simpler, and especially less expensive, for unmarried men than it used to be. Even

if a hostess asks a favor in return for weeks of hospitality, the sacrifice she requires of a man is rarely greater

than a cotillion with an unattractive debutante whom she is trying to launch; or the sitting through a

particularly dull opera in order to see her to the carriage, her lord and master having slipped off early to his

club and a quiet game of pool. Many people who read these lines are old enough to remember that prehistoric

period when unmarried girls went to the theatre and parties, alone with the men they knew. This custom still

prevails in our irrepressible West. It was an arrangement by which all the expenses fell on the man  theatre

tickets, carriages if it rained, and often a bit of supper after. If a youth asked a girl to dance the cotillion, he

was expected to send a bouquet, sure to cost between twenty and twentyfive dollars. What a blessed change

for the impecunious swell when all this went out of fashion! New York is his paradise now; in other parts of

the world something is still expected of him. In France it takes the form of a handsome bag of bonbons on

New Year's Day, if he has accepted hospitality during the past year. While here he need do absolutely nothing

(unless he wishes to), the occasional leaving of a card having been suppressed of late by our JEUNESSE

DOREE, five minutes of their society in an opera box being estimated (by them) as ample return for a dinner

or a week in a country house.


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The truth of it is, there are so few men who "go out" (it being practically impossible for any one working at a

serious profession to sit up night after night, even if he desired), and at the same time so many women insist

on entertaining to amuse themselves or better their position, that the men who go about get spoiled and

almost come to consider the obligation conferred, when they dine out. There is no more amusing sight than

poor paterfamilias sitting in the club between six and seven P.M. pretending to read the evening paper, but

really with his eve on the door; he has been sent down by his wife to "get a man," as she is one short for her

dinner this evening. He must be one who will fit in well with the other guests; hence papa's anxious look, and

the reason the editorial gets so little of his attention! Watch him as young "professional" lounges in. There is

just his man  if he only happens to be disengaged! You will see "Pater" cross the room and shake hands,

then, after a few minutes' whispered conversation, he will walk down to his coupe with such a relieved look

on his face. Young "professional," who is in faultless evening dress, will ring for a cocktail and take up the

discarded evening paper to pass the time till eight twentyfive.

Eight twentyfive, advisedly, for he will be the last to arrive, knowing, clever dog, how much eCLAT it

gives one to have a room full of people asking each other, "Whom are we waiting for?" when the door opens,

and he is announced. He will stay a moment after the other guests have gone and receive the most cordial

pressures of the hand from a grateful hostess (if not spoken words of thanks) in return for eating an

exquisitely cooked dinner, seated between two agreeable women, drinking irreproachable wine, smoking a

cigar, and washing the whole down with a glass of 1830 brandy, or some priceless historic madeira.

There is probably a moral to be extracted from all this. But frankly my ethics are so mixed that I fail to see

where the blame lies, and which is the less worthy individual, the ostentatious axegrinding host or the

interested guest. One thing, however, I see clearly, viz., that life is very agreeable to him who starts in with

few prejudices, good manners, a large amount of wellconcealed "cheek" and the happy faculty of taking

things as they come.

CHAPTER 36  American Society in Italy

THE phrase at the head of this chapter and other sentences, such as "American Society in Paris," or London,

are constantly on the lips of people who should know better. In reality these societies do not exist. Does my

reader pause, wondering if he can believe his eyes? He has doubtless heard all his life of these delightful

circles, and believes in them. He may even have dined, EN PASSANT, at the "palace" of some resident

compatriot in Rome or Florence, under the impression that he was within its mystic limits. Illusion! An effect

of mirage, making that which appears quite tangible and solid when viewed from a distance dissolve into thin

air as one approaches; like the mirage, cheating the weary traveller with a vision of what he most longs for.

Forty, even fifty years ago, there lived in Rome a group of very agreeable people; Story and the two

Greenoughs and Crawford, the sculptor (father of the brilliant novelist of today); Charlotte Cushman (who

divided her time between Rome and Newport), and her friend Miss Stebbins, the sculptress, to whose hands

we owe the bronze fountain on the Mall in our Park; Rogers, then working at the bronze doors of our capitol,

and many other cultivated and agreeable people. Hawthorne passed a couple of winters among them, and the

tone of that society is reflected in his "Marble Faun." He took Story as a model for his "Kenyon," and was the

first to note the exotic grace of an American girl in that strange setting. They formed as transcendental and

unworldly a group as ever gathered about a "tea" table. Great things were expected of them and their

influence, but they disappointed the world, and, with the exception of Hawthorne, are being fast forgotten.

Nothing could be simpler than life in the papal capital in those pleasant days. Money was rare, but living as

delightfully inexpensive. It was about that time, if I do not mistake, that a list was published in New York of

the citizens worth one hundred thousand dollars; and it was not a long one! The Roman colony took "tea"

informally with each other, and "received" on stated evenings in their studios (when mulled claret and cakes

were the only refreshment offered; very bad they were, too), and migrated in the summer to the mountains


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near Rome or to Sorrento. In the winter months their circle was enlarged by a contingent from home. Among

wealthy New Yorkers, it was the fashion in the early fifties to pass a winter in Rome, when, together with his

other dissipations, paterfamilias would sit to one of the American sculptors for his bust, which accounts for

the horrors one now runs across in dark corners of country houses,  ghostly heads in "chin whiskers" and

Roman draperies.

The son of one of these pioneers, more rich than cultivated, noticed the other day, while visiting a friend of

mine, an exquisite eighteenthcentury bust of Madame de Pompadour, the pride of his hostess's

drawingroom. "Ah!" said Midas, "are busts the fashion again? I have one of my father, done in Rome in

1850. I will bring it down and put it in my parlor."

The travellers consulted the residents in their purchases of copies of the old masters, for there were fashions

in these luxuries as in everything else. There was a run at that time on the "Madonna in the Chair;" and

"Beatrice Cenci" was long prime favorite. Thousands of the latter leering and winking over her everlasting

shoulder, were solemnly sent home each year. No one ever dreamed of buying an original painting! The

tourists also developed a taste for large marble statues, "Nydia, the Blind Girl of Pompeii" (people read

Bulwer, Byron and the Bible then) being in such demand that I knew one block in lower Fifth Avenue that

possessed seven blind Nydias, all lifesize, in white marble,  a form of decoration about as well adapted to

those scanty front parlors as a steam engine or a carriage and pair would have been. I fear Bulwer's heroine is

at a discount now, and often wonder as I see those old residences turning into shops, what has become of the

seven white elephants and all their brothers and sisters that our innocent parents brought so proudly back

from Italy! I have succeeded in locating two statues evidently imported at that time. They grace the back

steps of a rather shabby villa in the country,  Demosthenes and Cicero, larger than life, dreary, funereal

memorials of the follies of our fathers.

The simple days we have been speaking of did not, however, outlast the circle that inaugurated them. About

1867 a few rich New Yorkers began "trying to know the Italians" and go about with them. One family, "up to

snuff" in more senses than one, married their daughter to the scion of a princely house, and immediately a

large number of her compatriots were bitten with the madness of going into Italian society.

In 1870, Rome became the capital of united Italy. The court removed there. The "improvements" began.

Whole quarters were remodelled, and the dear old Rome of other days, the Rome of Hawthorne and Madame

de Stael, was swept away. With this new state of things came a number of AmericoItalian marriages more

or less successful; and anything like an American society, properly so called, disappeared. Today families

of our compatriots passing the winter months in Rome are either tourists who live in hotels, and see sights, or

go (as far as they can) into Italian society.

The Queen of Italy, who speaks excellent English, developed a PENCHANT for Americans, and has attached

several who married Italians to her person in different court capacities; indeed, the old "Black" society, who

have remained true to the Pope, when they wish to ridicule the new "White" or royal circle, call it the

"American court!" The feeling is bitter still between the "Blacks" and "Whites," and an American girl who

marries into one of these circles must make up her mind to see nothing of friends or relatives in the

opposition ranks. It is said that an amalgamation is being brought about, but it is slow work; a generation will

have to die out before much real mingling of the two courts will take place. As both these circles are poor,

very little entertainment goes on. One sees a little life in the diplomatic world, and the King and Queen give a

ball or two during the winter, but since the repeated defeats of the Italian arms in Africa, and the heavy

financial difficulties (things these sovereigns take very seriously to heart), there has not been much "go" in

the court entertainments.

The young set hope great things of the new Princess of Naples, the bride of the heirapparent, a lady who is

credited with being full of fun and life; it is fondly imagined that she will set the ball rolling again. By the


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bye, her first ladyinwaiting, the young Duchess del Monte of Naples, was an American girl, and a very

pretty one, too. She enjoyed for some time the enviable distinction of being the youngest and handsomest

duchess in Europe, until Miss Vanderbilt married Marlborough and took the record from her. The Prince and

Princess of Naples live at their Neapolitan capital, and will not do much to help things in Rome. Besides

which he is very delicate and passes for not being any too fond of the world.

What makes things worse is that the great nobles are mostly "land poor," and even the richer ones burned

their fingers in the craze for speculation that turned all Rome upside down in the years following 1870 and

Italian unity, when they naively imagined their new capital was to become again after seventeen centuries the

metropolis of the world. Whole quarters of new houses were run up for a population that failed to appear;

these houses now stand empty and are fast going to ruin. So that little in the way of entertaining is to be

expected from the bankrupts. They are a genial race, these Italian nobles, and welcome rich strangers and

marry them with much enthusiasm  just a shade too much, perhaps  the girl counting for so little and her

DOT for so much in the matrimonial scale. It is only necessary to keep open house to have the pick of the

younger ones as your guests. They will come to entertainments at American houses and bring all their

relations, and dance, and dine, and flirt with great good humor and persistency; but if there is not a good solid

fortune in the background, in the best of securities, the prettiest American smiles never tempt them beyond

flirtation; the season over, they disappear up into their mountain villas to wait for a new importation from the

States.

In Rome, as well as in the other Italian cities, there are, of course, still to be found Americans in some

numbers (where on the Continent will you not find them?), living quietly for study or economy. But they are

not numerous or united enough to form a society; and are apt to be involved in bitter strife among themselves.

Why, you ask, should Americans quarrel among themselves?

Some years ago I was passing the summer months on the Rhine at a tiny German wateringplace, principally

frequented by English, who were all living together in great peace and harmony, until one fatal day, when an

Earl appeared. He was a poor Irish Earl, very simple and unoffending, but he brought war into that town,

heart burnings, envy, and backbiting. The English colony at once divided itself into two camps, those who

knew the Earl and those who did not. And peace fled from our little society. You will find in every foreign

capital among the resident Americans, just such a state of affairs as convulsed that German spa. The native

"swells" have come to be the apple of discord that divides our good people among themselves. Those who

have been successful in knowing the foreigners avoid their compatriots and live with their new friends, while

the other group who, from laziness, disinclination, or principle (?) have remained true to their American

circle, cannot resist calling the others snobs, and laughing (a bit enviously, perhaps) at their upward struggles.

It is the same in Florence. The little there was left of an American society went to pieces on that rock. Our

parents forty years ago seem to me to have been much more selfrespecting and sensible. They knew

perfectly well that there was nothing in common between themselves and the Italian nobility, and that those

good people were not going to put themselves out to make the acquaintance of a lot of strangers, mostly of

another religion, unless it was to be materially to their advantage. So they left them quietly alone. I do not

pretend to judge any one's motives, but confess I cannot help regarding with suspicion a foreigner who leaves

his own circle to mingle with strangers. It resembles too closely the amiabilities of the wolf for the lamb, or

the sudden politeness of a schoolboy to a little girl who has received a box of candies.

CHAPTER 37  The Newport of the Past

FEW of the "carriage ladies and gentlemen" who disport themselves in Newport during the summer months,

yachting and dancing through the short season, then flitting away to fresh fields and pastures new, realize that

their daintily shod feet have been treading historic ground, or care to cast a thought back to the past. Oddly


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enough, to the majority of people the past is a volume rarely opened. Not that it bores them to read it, but

because they, like children, want some one to turn over its yellow leaves and point out the pictures to them.

Few of the human motes that dance in the rays of the afternoon sun as they slant across the little Park, think

of the fable which asserts that a seaworn band of adventurous men, centuries before the Cabots or the

Genoese discoverer thought of crossing the Atlantic, had pushed bravely out over untried seas and landed on

this rocky coast. Yet one apparent evidence of their stay tempts our thoughts back to the times when it is said

to have been built as a bower for a king's daughter. Longfellow, in the swinging verse of his "Skeleton in

Armor," breathing of the sea and the Norseman's fatal love, has thrown such a glamour of poetry around the

tower, that one would fain believe all he relates. The hardy Norsemen, if they ever came here, succumbed in

their struggle with the native tribes, or, discouraged by death and hardships, sailed away, leaving the clouds

of oblivion to close again darkly around this continent, and the fog of discussion to circle around the "Old

Mill."

The little settlement of another race, speaking another tongue, that centuries later sprang up in the shadow of

the tower, quickly grew into a busy and prosperous city, which, like New York, its rival, was captured and

held by the English. To walk now through some of its quaint, narrow streets is to step back into

Revolutionary days. Hardly a house has changed since the time when the red coats of the British officers

brightened the prim perspectives, and turned loyal young heads as they passed.

At the corner of Spring and Pelham Streets, still stands the residence of General Prescott, who was carried

away prisoner by his opponents, they having rowed down in whaleboats from Providence for the attack.

Rochambeau, our French ally, lodged lower down in Mary Street. In the tower of Trinity, one can read the

epitaph of the unfortunate Chevalier de Ternay, commander of the sea forces, whose body lies near by. Many

years later his relative, the Duc de Noailles, when Minister to this country, had this simple tablet repaired and

made a visit to the spot.

A long period of prosperity followed the Revolution, during which Newport grew and flourished. Our pious

and Godfearing "forbears," having secured personal and religious liberty, proceeded to inaugurate a most

successful and remunerative trade in rum and slaves. It was a triangular transaction and yielded a threefold

profit. The simple population of that day, numbering less than ten thousand souls, possessed twenty

distilleries; finding it a physical impossibility to drink ALL the rum, they conceived the happy thought of

sending the surplus across to the coast of Africa, where it appears to have been much appreciated by the

native chiefs, who eagerly exchanged the pick of their loyal subjects for that liquid. These poor brutes were

taken to the West Indies and exchanged for sugar, laden with which, the vessels returned to Newport.

Having introduced the dusky chieftains to the charms of delirium tremens and their subjects to lifelong

slavery, one can almost see these pious deacons proceeding to church to offer up thanks for the return of their

successful vessels. Alas! even "the best laid schemes of mice and men" come to an end. The War of 1812, the

opening of the Erie Canal and sundry railways struck a blow at Newport commerce, from which it never

recovered. The city sank into oblivion, and for over thirty years not a house was built there.

It was not until near 1840 that the Middletons and Izzards and other wealthy and aristocratic Southern

families were tempted to Newport by the climate and the facilities it offered for bathing, shooting and

boating. A boardinghouse or two sufficed for the modest wants of the newcomers, first among which stood

the Aquidneck, presided over by kind Mrs. Murray. It was not until some years later, when New York and

Boston families began to appreciate the place, that the first hotels were built,  the Atlantic on the square

facing the old mill, the Bellevue and Fillmore on Catherine Street, and finally the original Ocean House,

destroyed by fire in 1845 and rebuilt as we see it today. The croakers of the epoch considered it much too

far out of town to be successful, for at its door the open fields began, a gate there separating the town from

the country across which a straggling, halfmade road, closed by innumerable gates, led along the cliffs and

out across what is now the Ocean Drive. The principal roads at that time led inland; any one wishing to drive


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seaward had to descend every two or three minutes to open a gate. The youth of the day discovered a source

of income in opening and closing these for pennies.

Fashion had decreed that the correct hour for dancing was 11 A.M., and MATINEES DANSANTES were

regularly given at the hotels, our grandmothers appearing in DECOLLETE muslin frocks adorned with broad

sashes, and disporting themselves gayly until the dinner hour. Lowneck dresses were the rule, not only for

these informal entertainments, but as everyday wear for young girls,  an old lady only the other day telling

me she had never worn a "highbody" until after her marriage. Two o'clock found all the beauties and beaux

dining. How incredulously they would have laughed if any one had prophesied that their grandchildren would

prefer eight forty five as a dinner hour!

The opening of Bellevue Avenue marked another epoch in the history of Newport. About that time Governor

Lawrence bought the whole of Ochre Point farm for fourteen thousand dollars, and Mr. de Rham built on the

newly opened road the first "cottage," which stands today modestly back from the avenue opposite Perry

Street. If houses have souls, as Hawthorne averred, and can remember and compare, what curious thoughts

must pass through the oaken brain of this simple construction as it sees its marble neighbors rearing their vast

facades among trees. The trees, too, are an innovation, for when the de Rham cottage was built and Mrs.

Cleveland opened her new house at the extreme end of Rough Point (the second summer residence in the

place) it is doubtful if a single tree broke the rocky monotony of the landscape from the Ocean House to

Bateman's Point.

Governor Lawrence, having sold one acre of his Ochre Point farm to Mr. Pendleton for the price he himself

had paid for the whole, proceeded to build a stone wall between the two properties down to the water's edge.

The population of Newport had been accustomed to take their Sunday airings and moonlight rambles along

"the cliffs," and viewed this obstruction of their favorite walk with dismay. So strong was their feeling that

when the wall was completed the young men of the town repaired there in the night and tore it down. It was

rebuilt, the mortar being mixed with broken glass. This infuriated the people to such an extent that the whole

populace, in broad daylight, accompanied by the summer visitors, destroyed the wall and threw the materials

into the sea. Lawrence, bent on maintaining what he considered his rights, called the law to his aid. It was

then discovered that an immemorial riverain right gave the fishermen and the public generally, access to the

shore for fishing, and also to collect seaweed,  a right of way that no one could obstruct.

This was the beginning of the long struggle between the cliff dwellers and the townspeople; each new

propertyowner, disgusted at the idea that all the world can stroll at will across his wellkept lawns, has in

turn tried his hand at suppressing the now famous "walk." Not only do the public claim the liberty to walk

there, but also the right to cross any property to get to the shore. At this moment the city fathers and the

committee of the new buildings at Bailey's Beach are wrangling as gayly as in Governor Lawrence's day over

a bit of wall lately constructed across the end of Bellevue Avenue. A new expedient has been hit upon by

some of the wouldbe exclusive owners of the cliffs; they have lowered the "walk" out of sight, thus insuring

their own privacy and in no way interfering with the rights of the public.

Among the gentlemen who settled in Newport about Governor Lawrence's time was Lord Baltimore (Mr.

Calvert, he preferred to call himself), who remained there until his death. He was shy of referring to his

English peerage, but would willingly talk of his descent through his mother from Peter Paul Rubens, from

whom had come down to him a chateau in Holland and several splendid paintings. The latter hung in the

parlor of the modest little dwelling, where I was taken to see them and their owner many years ago. My

introducer on this occasion was herself a lady of no ordinary birth, being the daughter of Stuart, our greatest

portrait painter. I have passed many quiet hours in the quaint studio (the same her father had used), hearing

her prattle  as she loved to do if she found a sympathetic listener  of her father, of Washington and his

pompous ways, and the many celebrities who had in turn posed before Stuart's easel. She had been her

father's companion and aid, present at the sittings, preparing his brushes and colors, and painting in


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backgrounds and accessories; and would willingly show his palette and explain his methods and theories of

color, his predilection for scrumbling shadows thinly in black and then painting boldly in with body color.

Her lessons had not profited much to the gentle, kindly old lady, for the productions of her own brush were

far from resembling her great parent's work. She, however, painted cheerfully on to life's close, surrounded

by her many friends, foremost among whom was Charlotte Cushman, who also passed the last years of her

life in Newport. Miss Stuart was over eighty when I last saw her, still full of spirit and vigor, beginning the

portrait of a famous beauty of that day, since the wife and mother of dukes.

Miss Stuart's death seems to close one of the chapters in the history of this city, and to break the last

connecting link with its past. The world moves so quickly that the simple days and modest amusements of

our fathers and grandfathers have already receded into misty remoteness. We look at their portraits and

wonder vaguely at their graceless costumes. We know they trod these same streets, and laughed and flirted

and married as we are doing today, but they seem to us strangely far away, like inhabitants of another

sphere!

It is humiliating to think how soon we, too, shall have become the ancestors of a new and careless generation;

fresh faces will replace our faded ones, young voices will laugh as they look at our portraits hanging in dark

corners, wondering who we were, and (criticising the apparel we think so artistic and appropriate) how we

could ever have made such guys of ourselves.

CHAPTER 38  A Conquest of Europe

THE most important event in modern history is the discovery of Europe by the Americans. Before it, the

peoples of the Old World lived happy and contented in their own countries, practising the patriarchal virtues

handed down to them from generations of forebears, ignoring alike the vices and benefits of modern

civilization, as understood on this side of the Atlantic. The simpleminded Europeans remained at home,

satisfied with the rank in life where they had been born, and innocent of the ways of the new world.

These peoples were, on the whole, not so much to be pitied, for they had many pleasing crafts and arts

unknown to the invaders, which had enabled them to decorate their capitals with taste in a rude way; nothing

really great like the lofty buildings and elevated railway structures, executed in American cities, but

interesting as showing what an ingenious race, deprived of the secrets of modern science, could accomplish.

The more aesthetic of the newcomers even affected to admire the antiquated places of worship and residences

they visited abroad, pointing out to their compatriots that in many cases marble, bronze and other

oldfashioned materials had been so cleverly treated as to look almost like the superior castiron employed at

home, and that some of the old paintings, preserved with veneration in the museums, had nearly the brilliancy

of modern chromos. As their authors had, however, neglected to use a process lending itself to rapid

reproduction, they were of no practical value. In other ways, the continental races, when discovered, were

sadly behind the times. In business, they ignored the use of "corners," that backbone of American trade, and

their ideas of advertising were but little in advance of those known among the ancient Greeks.

The discovery of Europe by the Americans was made about 1850, at which date the first bands of adventurers

crossed the seas in search of amusement. The reports these pioneers brought back of the NAIVETE,

politeness, and gullibility of the natives, and the cheapness of existence in their cities, caused a general

exodus from the western to the eastern hemisphere. Most of the Americans who had used up their credit at

home and those whose incomes were insufficient for their wants, immediately migrated to these happy

hunting grounds, where life was inexpensive and credit unlimited.

The first arrivals enjoyed for some twenty years unique opportunities. They were able to live in splendor for a

pittance that would barely have kept them in necessaries on their own side of the Atlantic, and to pick up


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valuable specimens of native handiwork for nominal sums. In those happy days, to belong to the invading

race was a sufficient passport to the good graces of the Europeans, who asked no other guarantees before

trading with the newcomers, but flocked around them, offering their services and their primitive

manufactures, convinced that Americans were all wealthy.

Alas! History ever repeats itself. As Mexicans and Peruvians, after receiving their conquerors with

confidence and enthusiasm, came to rue the day they had opened their arms to strangers, so the European

peoples, before a quarter of a century was over, realized that the hordes from across the sea who were

overrunning their lands, raising prices, crowding the native students out of the schools, and finally

attempting to force an entrance into society, had little to recommend them or justify their presence except

money. Even in this some of the intruders were unsatisfactory. Those who had been received into the

"bosom" of hotels often forgot to settle before departing. The continental women who had provided the wives

of discoverers with the raiment of the country (a luxury greatly affected by those ladies) found, to their

disgust, that their new customers were often unable or unwilling to offer any remuneration.

In consequence of these and many other disillusions, Americans began to be called the "Destroyers,"

especially when it became known that nothing was too heavy or too bulky to be carried away by the invaders,

who tore the insides from the native houses, the paintings from the walls, the statues from the temples, and

transported this booty across the seas, much in the same way as the Romans had plundered Greece. Elaborate

furniture seemed especially to attract the new arrivals, who acquired vast quantities of it.

Here, however, the wily natives (who were beginning to appreciate their own belongings) had revenge.

Immense quantities of worthless imitations were secretly manufactured and sold to the travellers at fabulous

prices. The same artifice was used with paintings, said to be by great masters, and with imitations of old

stuffs and bric abrac, which the ignorant and arrogant invaders pretended to appreciate and collect.

Previous to our arrival there had been an invasion of the Continent by the English about the year 1812. One

of their historians, called Thackeray, gives an amusing account of this in the opening chapters of his "Shabby

Genteel Story." That event, however, was unimportant in comparison with the great American movement,

although both were characterized by the same total disregard of the feelings and prejudices of indigenous

populations. The English then walked about the continental churches during divine service, gazing at the

pictures and consulting their guidebooks as unconcernedly as our compatriots do today. They also

crowded into theatres and concert halls, and afterwards wrote to the newspapers complaining of the bad

atmosphere of those primitive establishments and of the long ENTR'ACTES.

As long as the invaders confined themselves to such trifles, the patient foreigners submitted to their

overbearing and uncouth ways because of the supposed benefit to trade. The natives even went so far as to

build hotels for the accommodation and delight of the invaders, abandoning whole quarters to their guests.

There was, however, a point at which complacency stopped. The older civilizations had formed among

themselves restricted and exclusive societies, to which access was almost impossible to strangers. These

sanctuaries tempted the immigrants, who offered their fairest virgins and much treasure for the privilege of

admission. The indigenous aristocrats, who were mostly poor, yielded to these offers and a few Americans

succeeded in forcing an entrance. But the old nobility soon became frightened at the number and vulgarity of

the invaders, and withdrew severely into their shells, refusing to accept any further bribes either in the form

of females or finance.

From this moment dates the humiliation of the discoverers. All their booty and plunder seemed worthless in

comparison with the Elysian delights they imagined were concealed behind the closed doors of those holy

places, visions of which tortured the women from the western hemisphere and prevented their taking any

pleasure in other victories. To be received into those inner circles became their chief ambition. With this end


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in view they dressed themselves in expensive costumes, took the trouble to learn the "lingo" spoken in the

country, went to the extremity of copying the ways of the native women by painting their faces, and in one or

two cases imitated the laxity of their morals.

In spite of these concessions, our women were not received with enthusiasm. On the contrary, the very name

of an American became a byword and an abomination in every continental city. This prejudice against us

abroad is hardly to be wondered at on reflecting what we have done to acquire it. The agents chosen by our

government to treat diplomatically with the conquered nations, owe their selection to political motives rather

than to their tact or fitness. In the large majority of cases men are sent over who know little either of the

habits or languages prevailing in Europe.

The worst elements always follow in the wake of discovery. Our settlements abroad gradually became the

abode of the compromised, the divorced, the socially and financially bankrupt.

Within the last decade we have found a way to revenge the slights put upon us, especially those offered to

Americans in the capital of Gaul. Having for the moment no playwrights of our own, the men who concoct

dramas, comedies, and burlesques for our stage find, instead of wearying themselves in trying to produce

original matter, that it is much simpler to adapt from French writers. This has been carried to such a length

that entire French plays are now produced in New York signed by American names.

The great French playwrights can protect themselves by taking out American copyright, but if one of them

omits this formality, the "conquerors" immediately seize upon his work and translate it, omitting intentionally

all mention of the real author on their programmes. This season a play was produced of which the first act

was taken from Guy de Maupassant, the second and third "adapted" from Sardou, with episodes introduced

from other authors to brighten the mixture. The piece thus patched together is signed by a wellknown

AngloSaxon name, and accepted by our moral public, although the original of the first act was stopped by

the Parisian police as too immoral for that gay capital.

Of what use would it be to "discover" a new continent unless the explorers were to reap some such benefits?

Let us take every advantage that our proud position gives us, plundering the foreign authors, making penal

settlements of their capitals, and ignoring their foolish customs and prejudices when we travel among them!

In this way shall we effectually impress on the inferior races across the Atlantic the greatness of the

American nation.

CHAPTER 39  A Race of Slaves

IT is all very well for us to have invaded Europe, and awakened that somnolent continent to the lights and

delights of American ways; to have beautified the cities of the old world with graceful trolleys and

illuminated the catacombs at Rome with electricity. Every true American must thrill with satisfaction at these

achievements, and the knowledge that he belongs to a dominating race, before which the waning civilization

of Europe must fade away and disappear.

To have discovered Europe and to rule as conquerors abroad is well, but it is not enough, if we are led in

chains at home. It is recorded of a certain ambitious captain whose "Commentaries" made our schooldays a

burden, that "he preferred to be the first in a village rather than second at Rome." Oddly enough, WE are

contented to be slaves in our villages while we are conquerors in Rome. Can it be that the struggles of our

ancestors for freedom were fought in vain? Did they throw off the yoke of kings, cross the Atlantic, found a

new form of government on a new continent, break with traditions, and sign a declaration of independence,

only that we should succumb, a century later, yielding the fruits of their hardfought battles with craven

supineness into the hands of corporations and municipalities; humbly bowing necks that refuse to bend before

anointed sovereigns, to the will of steamboat subordinates, the insolence of bediamonded hotelclerks, and


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the captious conductor?

Last week my train from Washington arrived in Jersey City on time. We scurried (like good Americans) to

the ferryboat, hot and tired and anxious to get to our destination; a hope deferred, however, for our boat was

kept waiting forty long minutes, because, forsooth, another train from somewhere in the South was behind

time. Expostulations were in vain. Being only the paying public, we had no rights that those autocrats, the

officials, were bound to respect. The argument that if they knew the southern train to be so much behind, the

ferryboat would have plenty of time to take us across and return, was of no avail, so, like a cargo of

"moocows" (as the children say), we submitted meekly. In order to make the time pass more pleasantly for

the two hundred people gathered on the boat, a dusky potentate judged the moment appropriate to scrub the

cabin floors. So, aided by a couple of subordinates, he proceeded to deluge the entire place in floods of water,

obliging us to sit with our feet tucked up under us, splashing the ladies' skirts and our wraps and belongings.

Such treatment of the public would have raised a riot anywhere but in this land of freedom. Do you suppose

any one murmured? Not at all. The welltrained public had the air of being in church. My neighbors

appeared astonished at my impatience, and informed me that they were often detained in that way, as the

company was short of boats, but they hoped to have a new one in a year or two. This detail did not prevent

that corporation advertising our train to arrive in New York at threethirteen, instead of which we landed at

four o'clock. If a similar breach of contract had happened in England, a dozen letters would have appeared in

the "Times," and the grievance been well aired.

Another infliction to which all who travel in America are subjected is the brushing atrocity. Twenty minutes

before a train arrives at its destination, the despot who has taken no notice of any one up to this moment,

except to snub them, becomes suspiciously attentive and insists on brushing everybody. The dirt one traveller

has been accumulating is sent in clouds into the faces of his neighbors. When he is polished off and has paid

his "quarter" of tribute, the next man gets up, and the dirt is then brushed back on to number one, with

number two's collection added.

Labiche begins one of his plays with two servants at work in a salon. "Dusting," says one of them, "is the art

of sending the dirt from the chair on the right over to the sofa on the left." I always think of that remark when

I see the process performed in a parlor car, for when it is over we are all exactly where we began. If a man

should shampoo his hair, or have his boots cleaned in a salon, he would be ejected as a boor; yet the idea

apparently never enters the heads of those who soil and choke their fellow passengers that the brushing

might be done in the vestibule.

On the subject of fresh air and heat we are also in the hands of officials, dozens of passengers being made to

suffer for the caprices of one of their number, or the taste of some captious invalid. In other lands the rights of

minorities are often ignored. With us it is the contrary. One sniffling schoolgirl who prefers a temperature of

80 degrees can force a car full of people to swelter in an atmosphere that is death to them, because she refuses

either to put on her wraps or to have a window opened.

Street railways are torturechambers where we slaves are made to suffer in another way. You must begin to

reel and plunge towards the door at least two blocks before your destination, so as to leap to the ground when

the car slows up; otherwise the conductor will be offended with you, and carry you several squares too far, or

with a jocose "Step lively," will grasp your elbow and shoot you out. Any one who should sit quietly in his

place until the vehicle had come to a full stop, would be regarded by the slavedriver and his cargo as a

POSEUR who was assuming airs.

The idea that cars and boats exist for the convenience of the public was exploded long ago. We are made,

dozens of times a day, to feel that this is no longer the case. It is, on the contrary, brought vividly home to us

that such conveyances are money making machines in the possession of powerful corporations (to whom we,


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in our debasement, have handed over the freedom of our streets and rivers), and are run in the interest and at

the discretion of their owners.

It is not only before the great and the powerful that we bow in submission. The shopgirl is another tyrant

who has planted her foot firmly on the neck of the nation. She respects neither sex nor age. Ensconced behind

the bulwark of her counter, she scorns to notice humble aspirants until they have performed a preliminary

penance; a time she fills up in cheerful conversation addressed to other young tyrants, only deciding to notice

customers when she sees their last grain of patience is exhausted. She is often of a merry mood, and if

anything about your appearance or manner strikes her critical sense as amusing, will laugh gayly with her

companions at your expense.

A French gentleman who speaks our language correctly but with some accent, told me that he found it

impossible to get served in our stores, the shopgirls bursting with laughter before he could make his wants

known.

Not long ago I was at the Compagnie Lyonnaise in Paris with a stout American lady, who insisted on tipping

her chair forward on its front legs as she selected some laces. Suddenly the chair flew from under her, and she

sat violently on the polished floor in an attitude so supremely comic that the rest of her party were inwardly

convulsed. Not a muscle moved in the faces of the well trained clerks. The proprietor assisted her to rise as

gravely as if he were bowing us to our carriage.

In restaurants American citizens are treated even worse than in the shops. You will see cowed customers who

are anxious to get away to their business or pleasure sitting mutely patient, until a waiter happens to

remember their orders. I do not know a single establishment in this city where the waiters take any notice of

their customers' arrival, or where the proprietor comes, toward the end of the meal, to inquire if the dishes

have been cooked to their taste. The interest so general on the Continent or in England is replaced here by the

same air of being disturbed from more important occupations, that characterizes the shopgirl and elevator

boy.

Numbers of our people live apparently in awe of their servants and the opinion of the tradespeople. One

middleaged lady whom I occasionally take to the theatre, insists when we arrive at her door on my

accompanying her to the elevator, in order that the youth who presides therein may see that she has an escort,

the opinion of this subordinate apparently being of supreme importance to her. One of our "gilded youths"

recently told me of a thrilling adventure in which he had figured. At the moment he was passing under an

awning on his way to a reception, a gust of wind sent his hat gambolling down the block. "Think what a

situation," he exclaimed. "There stood a group of my friends' footmen watching me. But I was equal to the

situation and entered the house as if nothing had happened!" Sir Walter Raleigh sacrificed a cloak to please a

queen. This youth abandoned a new hat, fearing the laughter of a halfdozen servants.

One of the reasons why we have become so weak in the presence of our paid masters is that nowhere is the

individual allowed to protest. The other night a friend who was with me at a theatre considered the acting

inferior, and expressed his opinion by hissing. He was promptly ejected by a policeman. The man next me

was, on the contrary, so pleased with the piece that he encored every song. I had paid to see the piece once,

and rebelled at being obliged to see it twice to suit my neighbor. On referring the matter to the boxoffice,

the caliph in charge informed me that the slaves he allowed to enter his establishment (like those who in other

days formed the court of Louis XIV.) were permitted to praise, but were suppressed if they murmured

dissent. In his MEMOIRES, Dumas, PERE, tells of a "first night" when three thousand people applauded a

play of his and one spectator hissed. "He was the only one I respected," said Dumas, "for the piece was bad,

and that criticism spurred me on to improve it."


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How can we hope for any improvement in the standard of our entertainments, the manners of our servants or

the ways of corporations when no one complains? We are too much in a hurry to follow up a grievance and

have it righted. "It doesn't pay," "I haven't got the time," are phrases with which all such subjects are

dismissed. We will sit in overheated cars, eat vilely cooked food, put up with insolence from subordinates,

because it is too much trouble to assert our rights. Is the spirit that prompted the first shots on Lexington

Common becoming extinct? Have the floods of emigration so diluted our AngloSaxon blood that we no

longer care to fight for liberty? Will no patriot arise and lead a revolt against our tyrants?

I am prepared to follow such a leader, and have already marked my prey. First, I will slay a certain miscreant

who sits at the receipt of customs in the boxoffice of an uptown theatre. For years I have tried to propitiate

that satrap with modest politeness and feeble little jokes. He has never been softened by either, but continues

to "chuck" the worst places out to me (no matter how early I arrive, the best have always been given to the

speculators), and to frown down my attempts at selfassertion.

When I have seen this enemy at my feet, I shall start down town (stopping on the way to brain the teller at my

bank, who is perennially paring his nails, and refuses to see me until that operation is performed), to the

office of a nightboat line, where the clerk has so often forced me, with hundreds of other weary victims, to

stand in line like convicts, while he chats with a "lady friend," his back turned to us and his leg comfortably

thrown over the arm of his chair. Then I will take my bloodstained way  but, no! It is better not to put my

victims on their guard, but to abide my time in silence! Courage, fellowslaves, our day will come!

CHAPTER 40  Introspection *

THE close of a year must bring even to the careless and the least inclined toward selfinspection, an hour of

thoughtfulness, a desire to glance back across the past, and set one's mental house in order, before starting out

on another stage of the journey for that none too distant bourne toward which we all are moving.

* December thirtyfirst, 1888.

Our minds are like solitary dwellers in a vast residence, whom habit has accustomed to live in a few only of

the countless chambers around them. We have collected from other parts of our lives mental furniture and

bricabrac that time and association have endeared to us, have installed these meagre belongings convenient

to our hand, and contrived an entrance giving facile access to our livingrooms, avoiding the effort of a long

detour through the echoing corridors and disused salons behind. No acquaintances, and but few friends,

penetrate into the private chambers of our thoughts. We set aside a common room for the reception of

visitors, making it as cheerful as circumstances will allow and take care that the conversation therein rarely

turns on any subject more personal than the view from the windows or the prophecies of the barometer.

In the oldfashioned brick palace at Kensington, a little suite of rooms is carefully guarded from the public

gaze, swept, garnished and tended as though the occupants of long ago were hourly expected to return. The

early years of England's aged sovereign were passed in these simple apartments and by her orders they have

been kept unchanged, the furniture and decorations remaining today as when she inhabited them. In one

corner, is assembled a group of dolls, dressed in the quaint finery of 1825. A set of miniature cooking utensils

stands near by. A child's scrapbooks and colorboxes lie on the tables. In one sunny chamber stands the

little whitedraped bed where the heiress to the greatest crown on earth dreamed her childish dreams, and

from which she was hastily aroused one June morning to be saluted as Queen. So homelike and livable an air

pervades the place, that one almost expects to see the lonely little girl of seventy years ago playing about the

unpretending chambers.

Affection for the past and a reverence for the memory of the dead have caused the royal wife and mother to

preserve with the same care souvenirs of her passage in other royal residences. The apartments that sheltered


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the first happy months of her wedded life, the rooms where she knew the joys and anxieties of maternity,

have become for her consecrated sanctuaries, where the widowed, broken old lady comes on certain

anniversaries to evoke the unforgotten past, to meditate and to pray.

Who, as the year is drawing to its close, does not open in memory some such sacred portal, and sit down in

the familiar rooms to live over again the old hopes and fears, thrilling anew with the joys and temptations of

other days? Yet, each year these pilgrimages into the past must become more and more lonely journeys; the

friends whom we can take by the hand and lead back to our old homes become fewer with each decade. It

would be a useless sacrilege to force some listless acquaintance to accompany us. He would not hear the

voices that call to us, or see the loved faces that people the silent passages, and would wonder what attraction

we could find in the stuffy, oldfashioned quarters.

Many people have such a dislike for any mental privacy that they pass their lives in public, or surrounded

only by sporting trophies and games. Some enjoy living in their pantries, composing for themselves succulent

dishes, and interested in the doings of the servants, their companions. Others have turned their salons into

nurseries, or feel a predilection for the stable and the dog kennels. Such people soon weary of their

surroundings, and move constantly, destroying, when they leave old quarters, all the objects they had

collected.

The men and women who have thus curtailed their belongings are, however, quite contented with themselves.

No doubts ever harass them as to the commodity or appropriateness of their lodgements and look with pity

and contempt on friends who remain faithful to old habitations. The drawback to a migratory existence,

however, is the fact that, as a French saying has put it, CEUX QUI SE REFUSENT LES PENSEES

SERIEUSES TOMBENT DANS LES IDEES NOIRES. These people are surprised to find as the years go by

that the futile amusements to which they have devoted themselves do not fill to their satisfaction all the hours

of a lifetime. Having provided no books nor learned to practise any art, the time hangs heavily on their hands.

They dare not look forward into the future, so blank and cheerless does it appear. The past is even more

distasteful to them. So, to fill the void in their hearts, they hurry out into the crowd as a refuge from their own

thoughts.

Happy those who care to revisit old abodes, childhood's remote wing, and the moonlit porches where they

knew the rapture of a firstlove whisper. Who can enter the chapel where their dead lie, and feel no blush of

selfreproach, nor burning consciousness of broken faith nor wasted opportunities? The new year will bring

to them as near an approach to perfect happiness as can be attained in life's journey. The fortunate mortals are

rare who can, without a heartache or regret, pass through their disused and abandoned dwellings; who dare to

open every door and enter all the silent rooms; who do not hurry shudderingly by some obscure corners, and

return with a sigh of relief to the cheerful sunlight and murmurs of the present.

Sleepless midnight hours come inevitably to each of us, when the creaking gates of subterranean passages far

down in our consciousness open of themselves, and ghostly inhabitants steal out of awful vaults and force us

to look again into their faces and touch their unhealed wounds.

An old lady whose cheerfulness under a hundred griefs and tribulations was a marvel and an example, once

told a man who had come to her for counsel in a moment of bitter trouble, that she had derived comfort when

difficulties loomed big around her by writing down all her cares and worries, making a list of the subjects that

harassed her, and had always found that, when reduced to material written words, the dimensions of her

troubles were astonishingly diminished. She recommended her procedure to the troubled youth, and

prophesied that his anxieties would dwindle away in the clear atmosphere of pen and paper.

Introspection, the deliberate unlatching of closed wickets, has the same effect of stealing away the bitterness

from thoughts that, if left in the gloom of semioblivion, will grow until they overshadow a whole life. It is


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better to follow the example of England's pure Queen, visiting on certain anniversaries our secret places and

holding communion with the past, for it is by such scrutiny only

THAT MEN MAY RISE ON STEPPINGSTONES

OF THEIR DEAD SELVES TO HIGHER THINGS.

Those who have courage to perform thoroughly this task will come out from the silent chambers purified and

chastened, more lenient to the faults and shortcomings of others, and better fitted to take up cheerfully the

burdens of a new year.


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Bookmarks



1. Table of Contents, page = 3

2. Worldly Ways and Byways, page = 4

   3. Eliot Gregory, page = 4

   4. To the Reader, page = 5

   5. CHAPTER 1 - Charm, page = 6

   6. CHAPTER 2 - The Moth and the Star, page = 8

   7. CHAPTER 3 - Contrasted Travelling, page = 10

   8. CHAPTER 4 - The Outer and the Inner Woman, page = 12

   9. CHAPTER 5 - On Some Gilded Misalliances, page = 14

   10. CHAPTER 6 - The Complacency of Mediocrity, page = 17

   11. CHAPTER 7 - The Discontent of Talent, page = 19

   12. CHAPTER 8 - Slouch, page = 21

   13. CHAPTER 9 - Social Suggestion, page = 23

   14. CHAPTER 10 - Bohemia, page = 26

   15. CHAPTER 11 - Social Exiles, page = 28

   16. CHAPTER 12 - "Seven Ages" of Furniture, page = 30

   17. CHAPTER 13 - Our Elite and Public Life, page = 32

   18. CHAPTER 14 - The Small Summer Hotel, page = 34

   19. CHAPTER 15 - A False Start, page = 36

   20. CHAPTER 16 - A Holy Land, page = 38

   21. CHAPTER 17 - Royalty At Play, page = 40

   22. CHAPTER 18 - A Rock Ahead, page = 42

   23. CHAPTER 19 - The Grand Prix, page = 44

   24. CHAPTER 20 - "The Treadmill.", page = 46

   25. CHAPTER 21 - "Like Master Like Man.", page = 48

   26. CHAPTER 22 - An English Invasion of the Riviera, page = 50

   27. CHAPTER 23 - A Common Weakness, page = 52

   28. CHAPTER 24 - Changing Paris, page = 54

   29. CHAPTER 25 - Contentment, page = 56

   30. CHAPTER 26 - The Climber, page = 58

   31. CHAPTER 27 - The Last of the Dandies, page = 60

   32. CHAPTER 28 - A Nation on the Wing, page = 61

   33. CHAPTER 29 - Husks, page = 64

   34. CHAPTER 30 - The Faubourg of St. Germain, page = 67

   35. CHAPTER 31 - Men's Manners, page = 70

   36. CHAPTER 32 - An Ideal Hostess, page = 71

   37. CHAPTER 33 - The Introducer, page = 73

   38. CHAPTER 34 - A Question and an Answer, page = 75

   39. CHAPTER 35 - Living on your Friends, page = 77

   40. CHAPTER 36 - American Society in Italy, page = 79

   41. CHAPTER 37 - The Newport of the Past, page = 81

   42. CHAPTER 38 - A Conquest of Europe, page = 84

   43. CHAPTER 39 - A Race of Slaves, page = 86

   44. CHAPTER 40 - Introspection *, page = 89