Your Five Gallants ..............................................................................................................................................1

Thomas Middleton ...................................................................................................................................1

I.[i. A room in Frippery's house.] .............................................................................................................2

II.[i. A room in Primero's house]...........................................................................................................16

[III.i. A room in Tailby's lodging].........................................................................................................48

IV.[i. Before Tailby's lodging] ...............................................................................................................65

V.[i. A chamber]....................................................................................................................................92

Presenter, or Prologue, passing over the stage; the bawdgallant [Primero], with three wenches gallantly

attired, meets him; the whoregallant [Tailby], the pocketgallant [Pursenet], the cheatinggallant

[Goldstone], kiss these three wenches, and depart in a little whisper and wanton action. Now, for the other,

the brokergallant [Frippery], he sits at home yet, I warrant you, at this time of day, summing up his pawns.

[Frippery discovered summing up his pawns, one Fellow standing by him.] Enter a Second Fellow [led in by

Place yourself there then; I will seek to prefer it presently. My master is very jealous of the pestilence; marry,

[Reads] "Lent the fifth day of September to Mistress Onset upon her gown [and] taffeta petticoat with three

broad silver laces, three pound fifteen shillings. Lent to Justice Cropshin upon both his velvet jackets, five

pound ten shillings. Lent privately to my Lady Newcut upon her gilt castingbottle and her silver liepot,

[Reads] "Lent to Sir Oliver Needy upon his taffeta cloak, beaver hat, and perfumed leatherjerkin, six pound

[Reads] "Lent to Master Andrew Lucifer upon his flamecoloured doublet and blue taffeta hose"Top the

Fire and brimstone! Cut it out into matches; the white linings will serve for tinder.

And with little help, sir; they are almost black enough already. Sir, here's another come with a pawn.

Very proper, for she wears the doublet at home; a guest that lies in my house, sir; she looks every hour for her

O, her cousin lies here; 'a may mistake in that. My friend, of what parish is your pawn?

[To Second Fellow] I'll come to you presently. [To First Fellow] What parish is your pawn, my friend?

[Reads] "Saint Bride's, five; Saint Dunstan's, none; Saint Clement's, three." Three at Clement's? Away with

your pawn, sir, your parish is infected! I will neither purchase the plague for sixpence in the pound and a

groat billmoney, nor venture my small stock into contagious parishes: you have your answer; fare you well,

I rank with chief gallants; I love to smell safely. [Reads] "Lent in the vacation to Master Proctor upon his

spiritual gown five angels, and upon his corporal doublet fifteen shillings; sum, three pound five shillings."

Saint Martin'sintheField? [Reads] "Saint Mary Maudlin, two; Saint Martin's, none." Here's an honest

A poor, kind soul, troubled with a bad husband; one that puts her to her shifts here.

A fine white beaver, pearl band, three falls; I ha' known her have more in her days.

Alas, and she be but a gentlewoman of any count or charge, three falls are nothing in these days! Know that:

tut, the world's changed; [gentlewomen's] falls stand upright now; no sin but has a bolster, that it may lie at

Why, so; our pawn is ever thrice the value of our money, unless in plate and jewels; how should the months

be restored and the use else? We must cast it for the twelvemonth, so many pounds, so many months, so

many eighteenpences; then the use of these eighteenpences; then the want of the return of those pounds: all

these must be laid together; which well considered, the valuation of the pawn had need to sound treble. Can

I have but one word more to say in't; twenty nobles is all and the utmost that I will hazard upon't.

A little, sir; summing up my pawns herewhat, Master Primero, is it you, sir gallant? And how does all the

pretty, sweet ladies, those plump, kind, delicate blisses, ha? whom I kiss in my very thoughts? How do they,

Why, gallant, if they should not do well in my house, where should it be done, boy? Have I not a glorious

O, a gallant receipt: violet air, curious garden, quaint walks, fantastical arbours, three back doors, and a

coachgate! Nay, thou'rt admirably seated: little furniture will serve thee; thou'rt never without moveables.

Ay, praise my stars! Ah, the goodly virginities that have been cut up in my house, and the goodly patrimonies

that have lain like sops in the gravy! And when those sops were eaten, yet the meat was kept whole for

another, and another, and another; for as in one pie twenty may dip their sippits, so upon one woman forty

A pretty, fateyed wench, with a Venus in her cheek; did but raiment smile upon her, she were nectar for

And that's granted already. Of what volume is this book, that I may fit a cover to't?

Faith, neither in folio nor in decimo sexto, but in octavo, between both; a pretty, middlesized trug.

Then I have fitted her already, in my eye, i'faith. Here came a pawn in e'en now will make shift to serve her

A pretty suit of clothes, i'faith: but put case the party should come to redeem 'em of a sudden?

Pooh, then your wit's sickly: have not I the policy, think you, to seem extreme busy, and defer 'em till the

morrow? Against which time that pawn shall be secretly fetched home, and another carried out to supply the

Go to, you shall give me but twelvepence aday; Master Primero, you're a friend, and I'll use you so: 'tis got

up at your house in an afternoon, i'faith, the hire of the whole month. Ye must think I can distinguish spirits,

Tut, a man must use a friend as a friend may use him: your house has been a sweet house to me, both for

pleasure and profit; I'll give you your due: omne tulit punctum, you have always kept fine punks in your

house, that's for pleasure, qui miscuit utile dulci, and I have had sweet pawns from 'em, that's for profit now.

You flatter, you flatter, sir gallant. But whist! Here she enters: I prithee, question her.

I'll commend your judgment in a wench while I live: that face will get money, i'faith; 'twill be a getpenny, I

warrant you. [To Novice] Go to, your fortune was choice, pretty bliss, to fall into the regard of so kind a

See what his care has provided already for you; you'll be simply set out to the world! If you'll have that care

now to deserve his pains, O, that will be acceptable! And these be the rudiments you must chiefly point at: to

counterfeit cunningly, to wind in gentlemen with powerful attraction to keep his house in name and custom,

to dissemble with your own brother, never to betray your fellows' imperfections nor lay open the state of their

bodies to strangers, to believe those that give you, to gull those that believe you, to laugh at all under taffeta;

There's e'en all, i'faith; we'll trouble you with no more. Nay, you shall live at ease enough: for nimming away

jewels and favours from gentlemen, which are your chief vails, [I] hope that will come naturally enough to

you, I need not instruct you; you'll have that wit, I trust, to make the most of your pleasure.

O, properest of all, wench! It must be a shewit that does those things, and thy mother was quick enough at it

Give me leave, sister, to examine you upon two or three particulars: and make you ready, be not ashamed;

Very proper, that's e'en going out: a maid in the last quarter, that's a whore in the first. Let me see, new moon

on Thursday; she'll be chan[g]ed by that time, too. Are you willing to pleasure gentlemen?

She's done well, i'faith: I fear not now to turn her loose to any gentleman in Europe.

You need not, sir: of her own accord, I think she'll be loose enough without turning. Arthur!

Here's a diamond that sometimes graced the finger of a countess; here sits a ruby that ne'er lins blushing for

the party that pawned it; here a sapphire. O providence and fortune! My beginning was so poor, I would fain

forget it; and I take the only course, for I scorn to think on't; slave to a trencher, observer of a saltcellar,

privy to nothing but a closestool, or such unsavoury secret[s]: but as I strive to forget the days of my serving,

so I shall once remember the first step of my rising; for, having hardly raked five mark together, I rejoiced so

in that small stock, which most providentially I ventured by water to Blackwall among fishwives; and in

small time, what by weekly return and gainful restitution, it rize to a great body, beside a dish of fish for a

Bring down Sir Oliver Needy's taffeta cloak and beaver hatI am sure he is fast enough [in the knight's

ward]and Andrew Lucifer's rapier and dagger with the embossed girdle and hangers,

for he's in his third sweat by this time, sipping of the doctor's bottle, or picking the ninth part of a rack of

mutton, dryroasted, with a leash of nightcaps on his head like the pope's triple crown, and as many pillows

crushed to his back, with, "O the needles!" For he got the pox of a sempster, and it pricked so much more

Enter Goldstone, Pursenet, Tailby, Frippery, Primero, and Boy, at the farther door.

The gallants look scurvily upon Fitsgrave, and he upon them. Exeunt Goldstone, Tailby, Frippery, and

Strange absurdity, that you should come into my house, and ask if you be not seen of the wicked! Push! I

take't unkindly, i'faith: what think you of my house? 'Tis no such common receptacle.

Forgive me, sweet Master Primero: I can be content to have my pleasure as much as another, but I must have

a care of my credit; I would not be seen anything else. My husband's at sea, and a woman shall have an ill

report in this world, let her carry herself never so secretly; you know't, Master Primero. And what choice of

And I must have choice, you know; I come for no gain, but for sheer pleasure and affection.

You see your old spyhole yonder; take your stand, please your own eye. I'll work it so, the gallants shall

Silver spurs? A pretty emblem! Mark it; all her gifts are about riding still: the other day she sent me

boothose wrought in silk and gold; now silver spurs. Well, go thy ways, thou'rt as profitable a spirit as e'er

Nay, I beseech you, gallants, be more inward with this gentleman; [his parts deserve it].

Piping hot from the university; he smells of buttered loaves yet; an excellent scholar, [aside] but the arrantest

ass! [Presenting Bungler] For this our solicitor, he's a rare fellow fiveandforty mile hence, believe that: his

friends are of the old fashion, all in their graves; and now has he the leisure to follow all new fashions, ply the

I seldom saw so few here: you shall have 'em sometimes in every corner of the house, with their viols betwixt

their legs, and play the sweetest strokes; 'twould e'en filch your soul almost out of your bosom.

We are bold and insatiate suitors, sir, to the breath of your music, and the dear sight of those ladies.

Nay, I can assure you thus far, I that never knew the language have heard so much that ars is Latin for art;

The song; and he keeps time, shows several humours and moods: the boy in his pocket nims away Fitsgrave's

I care not much, i'faith, if I write down to my father presently to send up my sister in all haste that I may

[Looking in] 'Slid, 'tis the fool my cousin! I would not for the value of three recreations he had seen me here.

His lordship must hold me excused till morning; I'll not break company tonight. Where sup we, gallants?

Why, the Mitre, in my mind, for neat attendance, diligent boys, and, push, excels it far!

What money hast about thee? [Look you, sir, I must be fain to pawn a fair stone here for ordinary expenses: a

pox of my tenants! I give 'em twenty days after the quarter, and they cut out forty.]

I know I might; but what's their course? The rogues come me up all together, with geese and capons, and

petitions in pigs' snouts, which would move any man, i'faith, were his stomach ne'er so great; and to see how

pitifully the pullen will look, it makes me after relent, and turn my anger into a quick fire to roast 'emnay,

Sir, in regard of our continued boldness and trouble, which love to your music hath made us guilty of, shall

we entreat your worship's company, with these sweet ladies, your professed scholars, to take part of a poor

O, pardon me, sweet gentlemen; the world's apt to censure. I have the charge of them, they're left in trust,

they're virgins: and I dare not hazard their fames; the least touch mars 'em: and what would their right

worshipful parents think, if the report should fly to them, that they were seen with gentlemen in a tavern?

I do, sir; but I cannot stay to say so. Nay, good sir, detain me not; I am going in all haste to inquire or lay wait

for a chain of pearl, nimmed out of her pocket the fifth of November, a dismal day.

A chain of pearl, sir, which one Master Fitsgrave, a gentleman and a suitor, fastened upon her as a pledge of

Has the best smockfortune to be beloved of women. [Singing] Valle loo lo, lille lo lillo, valle loo lee lo lillo!

Well held, i'faith, sir: mass, and now I remember too, I think you ne'er saw my little banqueting box above

For what had the painter done, think you? Drew me Venus naked, which is the grace of a man's room, you

know; and, when he had done, drew a number of oaken leaves before her: had not lawn been a hundred times

Enter all at once[: Primero, Courtesans, Novice, Goldstone, Pursenet, Frippery, Tailby, Bungler, Fulk,

You shall be judge, sir; here be the tavernbeakers, and here peep out the fine alchemy knaves, looking like,

The bigness of the bore, just the same size; the marks, no difference. Away, put money in thy pocket, and

Pax on't, you're so troublesome too, you cannot remember a thing before! If I stay a little longer, I shall be

Turn knight, like thy companions, scoundrel, live upon usury, wear thy gilt spurs at thy girdle for fear of

Oh no, I hope I shall have more grace than so, sir! Pray, let me help your worship.

Good your worship. [Aside] I am glad they are out of his fingers: my wife shall lock 'em up presently; they

Your worship shall pardon me. [Aside] Now you shall not see 'em in haste, I warrant ye.

I am for you, gallants. Master Bouser, cry you mercy, sir: why supped you from us?

Faith, sir, I met with a couple of my fellow pupils at university, and so we renewed our acquaintance and

Fie, that's none of the newest fashion, I must tell you that, Master Bouser: you must never take acquaintance

of any 'a th' university when you are at London; nor any of London when you're at university. You must be

Who, I? No: 'tis well known, if I be disposed, I'll forget any man in a sevennight, and yet look him in the

face: nay, let him ride but ten mile from me, and come home again, it shall be at my choice whether I'll

'Tis as a man gives his mind to't, sir: and now you bring me in, I remember 'twas once my fortune to be

cozened of all my clothes, and with my clothes my money; a poor shepherd, pitying, me, took me in and

Nay, you shall see now: 'twas his fortune likewise, not long after, to come to me in much distress, i'faith, and

Does any make such a wonder at this? Why, alas! 'Tis nothing to forget others! What say you to those that

I am very well here, I thank you, sir: I had rather be telling my money myself than have others count it for

me; 'tis the scurviest music in the world, methinks, to hear my money gingle in other men's pockets; I never

Rather than you should be destitute, gentlemen, I'll play my ten pound, if my master's worship will give me

Pray, excuse me, gentlemen. [To Fulk] 'Sfoot, how now, goodman rascal? What, because you served my

grandfather when he went ambassador, and got some ten pound by th' hand, has that put such spirit in you to

'Tis a usual grace, i'faith, sir; you've many gentlemen will play with their men.

Come, fool, fear nothing; I warrant 't ye has given thee leave: stand here by me. Come now, set round,

Gentlemen, faith, I am angry with you: go and suborn my knave again me here, to make him proud and

Troth, that's but your conceit, sir; the fellow's an honest fellow, and knows his duty, I dare swear for him.

[Aside] My master may set high, for all his stakes are drawn out of other men's pockets.

Touch a die, and thou darest! Come you in with your lousy ten pound, you slave, among gentlemen of

As long as the poor fellow ventures the loss of his own money, who can be offended at his fortunes?

I have a master here! Many a gentleman would be glad to see his man come forward, aha.

'Slife, here's none cuts my throat in play but he; I have observ'd it, an unlucky slave 'tis.

Upon condition, gentlemen, that I may ever bar him from the board hereafter, I am content to wink at him.

Faith, use your own pleasure hereafter; h'as won our money now. [To Fulk] Come to th' table, sir; your

The fiend's in't, I think: I left a fair chain of pearl at my lodging, too, like an ass, and ne'er remembered it; that

would ha' been a good pawn now. [To Frippery] Speak, what do you lend upon these, Master Frip? [Offering

his weapons, with girdle and hangers] I care not much if you take my beaver hat too, for I perceive 'tis dark

Here, Arthur, run away with these presently; I'll enter 'em into th' shopbook tomorrow.

[Writing] "Item, one gilt hatch'd rapier and dagger, with a fair embroidered girdle and hangers, with which

Push! I'faith, sir, you're to blame; you have snibbed the poor fellow too much; he can scarce speak, he cleaves

Fie a' these dice! Not one hand tonight! There they go, gentlemen, at all, i'faith!

All curses follow 'em! Pay yourselves withal. I'll pawn myself to't, but I'll see a hand tonight: not once hold

Go to; in regard you're a continual customer I'll use you well, and pleasure you with five angels upon't.

Had ever country gentleman such fortune? All swoopt away! I'd need repair to th' broker's.

If you be in that mind, sir, there sits a gentleman will furnish you upon any pawn as well as the publickst

Saving your tale, sir; 'tis given me to understand that you are a gentleman i' th' hundred, and deal in the

Master Bungler, Master Bungler, you're mightily mistook: I am content to do a gentleman a pleasure for

[Aside] By my troth, this boy goes forward well; ye shall see him come to his preferment i' th' end!

I never have any luck, gallants, till my doublet's off; I'm not half nimble enough at this, old cinquequater

[Aside to Fulk] Peace, we'll join powers anon, and see how strong we are in the whole number. Mass, yon gilt

goblet stands so full in mine eye, the whoreson tempts me; it comes like cheese after a great feast, to disgest

the rest: he will hardly 'scape me, i'faith, I see that by him already: back for a parting blow now.Boy!

All's paid, and your worships are welcome; only there's a goblet missing, gentlemen, and cannot be found

['Tis] a marvellous matter, that a goblet should be gone, and none but we in the room; the loss is [near] all,

By my troth, vintner, we'll have a privy search for this. What, we are not all one woman's children.

I beseech ye, gentlemen, have not that conceit of me, that I suspect your worships.

Tut, you are an ass; do you know every man's nature? There's a broker i' th' company.

[Aside to Boy] I was afraid.'Tis a good cause, i'faith, let each man search his fellow: we'll begin with you.

Pox on't, gentlemen, 'tis but angels apiece: it shall be a brace of mine, rather than I would have our

reputations breathed upon by all comers; for you must think they'll talk on't in all companiessuch a night,

in such a company, such a goblet: 'sfoot, it may grow to a gangrene in our credits, and be incurable.

So, and mine. [To Vintner] I'll tell thee what, the missing of this goblet has dismayed the gentlemen much.

Yet they send thee this comfort by me; if they see thee but rest satisfied, and depart away contented, which

will appear in thy countenance, not three times thrice the worth of the goblet shall hang between them and

Why, la, was not this better than hazarding our reputations upon trifles, and in such public as a tavern, such a

Nay, keep your way, gentlemen: I have sworn, Master Bouser, I will be last, i'faith.

[Reading] "My husband is rode from home: make no delay; I know, if your will be as free as your horse, you

will see me yet ere dinner. From Kingston, this eleventh of November." Hah! These women are such

creatures, such importunate, sweet souls, they'll scarce give a man leave to be ready; that's their only fault,

i'faith: if they be once set upon a thing, why, there's no removing of 'em, till their pretty wills be fulfilled. O,

pity thy poor oppressed client here, sweet Cupid, that has scarce six hours' vacation in a month, his causes

hang in so many courts, yet never suffer my French adversary, nor his big swoll'n confederates, to overthrow

So; he cannot now be long. What with my boy's dexterity at ordinaries, and my gelding's celerity over hedge

and ditch, but we make pretty shift to rub out a gallant; for I have learnt these principles:

To conclude, nothing seems as it is but honesty, and that makes it so little regarded amongst us.

I speak sincerely; 'tis pity such a properparted gentleman should want; nor shall you, as long as I have't

Nay, search and spare not: there's a purse in my left pocket, as I take it, with fifteen pound in gold in't, and

there's a fair chain of pearl in the other: nay, I'll deal truly you; it grieves me, i'faith, when I see such goodly

I'm gone, sir. [Aside] By my troth, of a fierce thief he seems to be a very honest gentleman.

[Reading] "Master Tailby, you know with what affection I love you." You do? "I count the world but as my

prey to maintain you." The more dissembling quean you, I must tell you. "I have sent you an embroidered

purse here with fifty fair spurroyals in't." A pox on you for your labour, wench! "And I desire you of all

loves to keep that chain of pearl from Master Pursenet's sight." He cannot, strumpet; I behold it now, unto thy

secret torture. "So fare thee well, but be constant and want nothing"as long as I ha't, i'faith, methinks it

should have gone so. Well, what a horrible age do we live in, that a man cannot have a quean to himself! Let

him but turn his back, the best of her is chipp'd away like a court loaf, that when a man comes himself, has

nothing but bumbast; and these are two simple chippings here. Does my boy pick and I steal to enrich myself,

to keep her, to maintain him? Why, this is right the sequence of the world. A lord maintains her, she

maintains a knight, he maintains a whore, she maintains a captain. So in like manner the pocket keeps my

boy, he keeps me, I keep her, she keeps him; it runs like quicksilver from one to another. 'Sfoot, I perceive I

have been the chief upholder of this gallant all this while: it appears true, we that pay dearest for our pasture

are ever likely worse used. 'Sfoot, he has a nag can run for nothing, has his choice, nay, and gets by the

A gull call you him? Let me always set upon wise men; they'll be afraid of their lives; they have a feeling of

their iniquities, and [know] what 'tis to die with fighting: 'sfoot, this gull lays on without fear or wit. How

Forgive me, dear boy; my wound ached, and I grew angry: there's hope of life, boy, is there not?

A comfortable boy in man's extremes! I was ne'er so afraid in my life but the fool would have seen my face:

he had me at such advantage, he might have commanded my scarf. I 'scaped well there; 't 'ad choked me; my

reputation had been past recovery: yet live I unsuspected, and still fit for gallant's choice societies. But here I

vow, if e'er I see this Bouser when he cannot see me, either in bylane, privilege[d] place, court, alley or

Nay, read forward. I have found three of your gallants, like your bewitching shame, merely sophistical:

That's just the phrase and style of 'em all to him; they meet altogether in one effect, and it may well hold, too,

O, cry you mercy, 'tis true, I'd forgot it: 'tis Saint George's day tomorrow: I lent it to my cousin only to grace

Why, let me never possess your love if you see not that again a' Thursday morning: I take't unkindly, i'faith,

Why, how now? What has fate sent us here, in the name of Venus, goddess of Cyprus?

The day you offered to ride with me, I wish now I'd had your company: 'sfoot, I was set upon in Combe Park

I know not that; he may be in the sixth and he will for me: I am sure they were in my pocket wheresoever

they [are]; but I'll ne'er refuse a gentleman's company again when 'tis offered me, I warrant you.

Mass, 'tis indeed Friday today, I'd quite forgot: when a woman's busy, how the time runs away!

A pickpocket! Nay, you shall to Newgate, look you. [To Pursenet] Is this your boy, sir?

How now, boy? A monster? Thy arm lined fast in another's pocket? Where learnt you that manners? What

company have you kept a' late, that you are so transformed into a rogue? That shape I know not. Believe me,

sir, I much wonder at the alteration of this boy, where he should get this nature: as good a child to see to, and

as virtuous; he has his creed by heart, reads me his chapter duly every night; he will not miss you one tittle in

The boy is well descended, though he be a rogue, and has no feeling on't; yet for my sake, and for my

reputation's, seek not the blood of the boy; he's near allied to many men of worship now yet living; a fine old

He will mend: 'a may prove an honest man for all this. I know gallant gentlemen now that have done as much

And as for Bridewell, that will but make him worse; 'a will learn more knavery there in one week than will

Nay, I tell you true, sir; there's none goes in there a quean, but she comes out an arrant whore, I warrant you.

Did I not? Yes, faith, did I, and thou shalt have it. [To one offstage] Go, sirrah, run for a tailor presently.

Let me see for the colour now: orangetawny, peach colour. What sayst to a watchet satin?

A very orient colour, an't please your worships. l made a gown on't for a gentlewoman t'other day, and it does

How, you rogue, costly? Out a' th' house, you slipshod, shamlegged, brownthreadpennyskeined rascal!

Hang him, rogue! He's but a botcher neither: come, I'll send thee a fellow worth a hundred of this, if the slave

Enter a Servant bringing in a suit of satin, who knocks at Tailby's door, from which enter Jack.

He's awake, but not yet stirring, for he played away half his clothes last night.

My mistress commends her secrets unto him, and presents him by me with a new satin suit here.

This will make my master leap out of the bed for joy, and dance Wigmore's galliard in his shirt about the

The music plays on awhile, then enter Tailby, his man [Jack] after, trussing him.

A pretty requiteful squall! I like that woman that can remember a good turn three months after the date; it

O abominable, sir! You had the scurviest hand; the old servingman swooped up all.

I am glad the fortune lighted upon the poor fellow, by my troth; it made his master mad.

Did you mark that, sir? I warrant he has the doggedest master of any poor fellow under the dogsign: I'd

rather serve your worship, I'll say that behind your back, sir, for nothing, as indeed I have no standing wages

O, but your vails, Jack, your vails considered, when you run to and fro between me and mistresses

But those vails stand with the state of your body, sir, as long as you hold up your head: if that droop once,

farewell you, farewell I, farewell all; and droop it will, though all the caudles in Europe should put to their

helping hands to't: 'tis e'en as uncertain as playing, now up and now [down]; for if the bill down rise to above

thirty, here's no place for players; so if your years rise to above forty, there's no room for old lechers.

Pize on't, I pawned a good beaver hat to Master Frip last night, Jack: I feel the want of it now.

Alas, dear sweet! I've had such business, I protest I ne'er stood still since I saw her.

'Tis not a thing fit for me to tell you, sir, for I have three years to serve yet: your worship knows how, I

And hark thee; tell thy mistress, as I'm a gentleman, I'll despatch her out of hand the first thing I do, a' my

Yes, sir; as you are a gentleman, you'll despatch her out of hand the first thing you do.

Mistress Tiffany commends her to your worship, and has sent you your ten pound in gold back again, and

says she cannot furnish you of the same lawn you desire till after Allhollandtide.

[Aside] A fair cloak yonder, i'faith.By my troth, abed, Master Bouser? You remember your promise well

[Within] 'Tis a gentleman's hour: faith, Master Goldstone, I'll be ready in a trice.

[Aside] Nay, choose whether you will or no, by my troth, your cloak shall go before you.

Foot, my cloak, my cloak, Master Goldstone! 'Slife, what mean you by this, sir? You'll bring it back again, I

hope. No? Not yet? By my troth, I care very little for such kind of jesting: methinks this familiarity now

extends a little too far, unless it be a new fashion come forth this morning secretly; yesterday 'twould have

shown unmannerly and saucily. I scarce know yet what to think on't. Well, there's no great profit in standing

in my shirt, I'll on with my clothes: h'as bound me to follow the suit: my cloak's a stranger; he was made but

What may I conjecture of this Goldstone? He has not only pawned to me this cloak, but the very diamond and

sapphire which I bestowed upon my new love at Master Primero's house: the cloak's new, and comes fitly to

do me great grace at a wedding this morning, to which I was solemnly invited. I can continue change more

than the proudest gallant of 'em all, yet never bestow penny of myself, my pawns do so kindly furnish me: but

the sight of these jewels is able to cloy me, did I not preserve my stomach the better for the weddingdinner.

A gift could never have come in a more patient hour, nor to be better disgested. Is she proved false? But I'll

Ha! Yonder goes Bouser: the place is fit. [Calling out to Boy within] Boy, stand with my horse at corner.

How now, who's this? 'Sfoot, one of our gallants knocked down like a calf! Is there such a plague of 'em here

Some rogue that owes me money, and had no other means. To a weddingdinner! I must be dressed myself,

Is it yours, sir? Master Goldstone pawned it to me this morning fresh and fasting, and borrowed five pound

How, pawned it? Pray, let me hear out this story: come, and I'll [lead] you to the next barbersurgeon's.

Nay, my care is at end, sir, now I am come to the sight of you. My mistress, your cousin, entreats you to take

part of a dinner with her at home at her house, and bring what gentleman you please to accompany you.

Trust me, and that's the properer phrase here at London; and 'tis as absurd too to call him fine merchant, for,

Yet my coz will be served in plate, I can tell you; she has her silver jugs and her gilt tankards.

Nay, you shall see a house dressed up, i'faith; you must not think to tread a' th' ground when you come there.

O, you're a sure gentleman, especially if a man stand in need of you! He may be slain in a morning to

No less than four gallants, as I'm a gentleman, drew all upon me at once, and opposed me so spitefully, that I

Those with the two unicorns, all wrought in pearl and gold: pox on't, it frets me ten times more than the loss

of the paltry cloak: prithee, and thou lovest me, speak no more on't; it brings the unicorns into my mind, and

thou wouldst not think how the conceit grieves me. I will not do thee that disgrace, i'faith, to offer thee any

satisfaction, for in my soul I think thou scornest it; thou bearest that mind, in my conscience; I have always

The devil scarce knew what a portion he gave his children when he allowed 'em large impudence to live

upon, and so turned 'em into th' world: surely he gave away the third part of the riches of his kingdom;

I'm sorry it holds in the ram's head. See, here he walks; I was sure he came into Paul's: the gold had been

How unfortunately is my purpose seated! What the devil should come in his mind to keep in his hands so

long? The biting but of a paltry louse would do me great kindness now; [I'd know] not how to requite it: will

no rascal creature assist me? Stay, what if I did impudently salute 'em out? Good. Boy, be ready, boy.

O, I cry you mercy, sir; I pray, pardon me; I fear I have tendered an offence, sir: troth, I took you at the first

[While Pursenet speaks, the Boy watches in vain for an opportunity to pick Pyamont's pocket.]

No, by troth, have I not; this labour's lost: 'tis in the right pocket, and he kept that hand in sure enough.

It must be an everlasting device, I think, that procures both his hands out at once.

Farewell then, sir: I have forty pound in gold about me, which I must presently send down into the country.

I wonder Master Goldstone spares my company so long; 'tis now about the navel of the day, upon the belly of

[Aside to Goldstone] When did I miss you?Your worship has forgot you promised Mistress Newcut, your

I walk a turn or two here for a gentleman, but I think he'll either overtake me, or be before me.

'Tis very likely, sir. [To Fulk] There, sirrah, go to dinner and about two wait for me.

Nay, let him come between two and three, cousin, for we love to sit long at dinner i' th' city.

Why, how now, sirrah? Upon twelve of the clock, and not the cloth laid yet? Must we needs keep Exchange

You're about it, forsooth? You're still about many things, but you ne'er do one well. I am an ass to keep thee

in th' house, now my husband's at sea; thou hast no audacity with thee; a foolish, dreaming lad, fitter to be in

the garret than in any place else; no grace nor manly behaviour: when didst thou ever come to me but with

Pray heaven the gull, my cousin, has so much wit left as to bring Master Tailby along with himmy

comfort, my delight!for that was the chiefest cause I did invite him. I bade him bring what gentleman he

pleased to accompany him; as far as I durst go: why may he not then make choice of Master Tailby? Had he

Master Goldstone? I could think well of that Goldstone were't not for one vild trick he has.

Pooh, you know her not so well as I, coz; I have observed her in all her humours; you ne'er saw her a little

Pooh, then ye ne'er saw pretty humour in your life; I can bring her into't when I list.

Would I could? By my troth, and I were sure thou couldst keep thy countenance, coz, what a pretty jest have I

Ah, but I am jealous you will not keep your countenance, i'faith! Why, ye shall see a pretty story of a

humour. Faith, I'll try you for once: you know my cousin will wonder when she comes in to see the cloth laid,

Now will I stand a while out of sight with it, and give her humour play a little.

I would be loath to undertake it else; for if you should burst out presently, coz, the jest would be spoiled.

So, so; mum, cousin. A merry companion, i'faith: here will be good sport anon. Whist, she comes.

I make you [stay] long for a bad dinner here, cousin; if Master Goldstone were come, the meat's e'en ready.

Do you use to lay a cloth without a salt, a salt, a salt, a salt, a salt, a salt!

How many salts would you have? I'm sure I set the best I' the house upon the board.

Pooh, I call not you, I call my cousin. Come forth with the salt, cousin! Ha! How? Nobody? Why, was not he

The tenor bellsalt. O, here comes Master Goldstone now, cousin; he may tell us some news on him. [To

Goldstone] Did you not meet a fellow about door with a great silver salt under his arm?

Pardon me, sir, I forgot all this while to bid you welcome. I shall loath this room for ever. Take hence the

No less than forty pound in fair gold at one lift! The next shall swoon and swoon again till the devil fetch

him, ere I set hand to him. Heart, nothing vexes me so much, but that I paid the goldsmith for the change too

not an hour before: had I let it alone in the chain of silver as it was at first, it might have given me some

notice at his departure: 'sfoot, I could fight with a windmill now. Sure 'twas some unlucky villain: why should

he come and salute me wrongfully too, mistake me at noonday? Now I think on't in cold blood, it could not

This forty pound came fortunately to redeem my chain of pearl from mortgage: I would not care how often I

swooned to have such a good caudle to comfort me; gold and pearl is very restorative.

See, yonder's the rogue I suspect for foul play! I'll walk muffled by him, offer some offence or cause of a

quarrel, only to try his temper; if he be a coward, he's the likelier to be a rogue, an infallible note.

Are you fain to fly to your clothes because you're gallant? Why, there's no rascal like your gallant rascal,

You have took me at such an hour, faith, you may call me e'en what you please; nothing will move me.

No? I'll make somewhat move you. Draw! I suspected you were a rogue, and you have purs'd it up well with

The guest that did me the kindness in Paul's? Hold, as you are a gentleman; you'll give me breath, sir?

Are you there with me? A vengeance stop you! You have found breath enough to run away from me. I will

never meet this slave hereafter in a morning, but I will breathe myself upon him; since I can have no other

Every bawd exceeds me in fortune: Master Primero was robbed of a carkanet upon Monday last; laid the

goldsmiths, and found it. I ha' laid [goldsmith], jeweller, burnisher, broker, and the devil and all, I think, yet

could never so much as hear of that chain of pearl: he was a notable thief; he works close. Peace, who be

these? Ha, let me see. By this light, there it is! Back, lest they see thee: a happy minute! Goldstone? What an

age do we breathe in! Who that saw him now would think he were maintained by purses? So, who that meets

me would think I were maintained by wenches? As far as I can see, 'tis all one case, and holds both in one

court; we are both maintained by the common roadway! Keep thou thine own heart, thou livest unsuspected. I

Nay, I do but ask, because a gentlewoman's glove was found near to the place I met you.

See how I am wrong'd, gentlemen: as I've a soul, I found this chain of pearl not three yards from this place,

Say, and hold; he called my jewels counterfeit, and so cheated the poor wench of 'em.

Was it you, i'faith, sir, all this while, that did me that kindness to ease both my pockets at Combe Park?

You're clear; sure I should know you, sir: pray, are you not sometimes a pander, and oftener a bawd, sir?

Have I never sinned in your banqueting boxes, your bowers and towers? You slave, that keeps fornication

upon the tops of trees, the very birds cannot engender in quiet for you! Why, rogue, that goes in good clothes

filthyslimylousynittical broker, pricked up in pawns from the hatband to the shoestring; a necessary

hook to hang gentlemen's suits out i' th' air, lest they should grow musty with long lying, which his pawns

seldom are guilty of; a fellow of several scents and steams, French, Dutch, Italian, English, and therefore his

I am sorry to hear this among you: you've all deceived me; truly I took you for other spirits. You must pardon

me henceforward; I have a reputation to look to; I must be no more seen in your companies.

Nay, nay, nay, nay, Master Goldstone, you must not 'scape so, i'faith, one word before you go, sir.

Pray, despatch then; I would not for half my revenues, i'faith, now, that any gallants should pass by in the

You did not take away Master Bouser's cloak t'other morning, pawned it to me, and borrowed five pound

'Twas not you neither that finely cheated my little novice at Master Primero's house of a diamond and

sapphire, and swore they were counterfeit, both glass, mere glass, as you were a right gentleman?

'Slife, why were we strangers all this while? 'Sfoot, I perceive we are all natural brothers! A pox on's all, are

What mean they to be so merry? I'm afraid they laugh at us, and make fools on's.

How? You're scarce awake yet, I think: look well, does any appear like a thief in this company? Away, you

slaves! You stand loitering when you should look to the commonwealth: you catch knaves apace now, do you

You lacked spirit in your company till I came among you: here be five on's; let's but glue together, why now

Why, true; we cannot lack to be rich, for we cannot lack riches, nor can our wenches want, nor we want

By my troth, a good jest! Did not I commend his wit to you, gentlemen? Hark, sirrah Ralph Bouser, cousin

Bouser, i'faith, there's a kind of portion in town, a girl of fifteen hundred, whom we all powerfully affect, and

Right, sir: now, a little of thy brain for a device to present us firm, which we shall never be able to do

ourselves, thou knowest that; and with a kind of speech wherein thou mayst express what gallants are,

Pooh, how can I express 'em otherwise but bravely? Now for a Mercury, and all were fitted.

I have a boy shall put down all the Mercuries i' th' town; 'a will play a Mercury naturally, at his fingers'

Why, then we are suited: for torchbearers and shieldboys, those are always the writer's properties; you're

[Aside to Fitsgrave] Hist; give me a little touch above the rest, and you can possible, for I mean to present

So, and you think all this while you dance like a thief in a mist, you're safe, nobody can find you! Pray, were

not you a feltmonger's daughter at first, that run away with a new courtier for the love of gentlewomen's

clothes, and bought the fashion at a dear rate, with the loss of your name and credit? Why, what are all of you

but rustical insides and city flesh, the blood of yeomen, and the bum of gentlewomen?

Why then, I perceive you know nothing: why, they are in the way of marriage; a knight's daughter here in

This very night; and they all present themselves in a masque before her: know you not this?

Look, this is Pursenet; the device, a purse wide open, and the mouth downward: the word, Alienis ecce

The device, an unvalued pearl hid in a cave; the word, Occul[t]os vendit honores.

The device for him, a cuckoo sitting on a tree the word, En avis ex avibus, "one bird made of many!" For you

They will scorn, gentlemen; and to assist them the better, Pursenet's boy, that little precious pickpocket, has a

compendious speech in Latin, and, like a Mercury, presents their dispositions more liberally.

[Exeunt the two Gentlemen, Pymont, and Bungler, who hide themselves above.] Enter Goldstone, Pursenet,

Well said, i'faith; off with your cloaks, gallants; let's fall roundly to our business.

I have took a course for that, fear it not, sir. Look you, first, here be your shields.

I pray, be contained a little, gentlemen; they'll come all time enough to you, I warrant.

First the device, a fair purse wide open, the mouth downward; the word, Alienis ecce crumenis!

Master Goldstone, here's yours, sir; three silver dice; the word, Fratremque patremque.

They're all very well done, i'faith, and very scholarlike, though I say't before thy face, little Bouser; but I

I representing Mercury, am a pickpocket, and have his part at my fingers' ends: "Page I am to that great and

"These four are his companions; the one a notable cheater, that will cozen his own father"

"The second a notorious lecher, maintained by harlots, cujus virtus consumptio corpus."

"Postremus ille, quamvis apparatu splendidus, is no other than a broker; these feathers are not his own, sed

I dare put trust in the boy, sir. [To Boy] Forget not, sirrah, at any hand, to point that same latroni to me.

Hark, one word, Master Bouser: what's the same latroni? I have a good mind to that word, i'faith.

Cornets sound: enter the Masque, thus ordered: a torchbearer, a shieldboy, then a masquer, so throughout;

then the shieldboys fall at one end, the torchbearers at the other; the masquers i' th' middle: the

torchbearers are the five gentlemen, the shieldboys the whores in boys' apparel; the masquers the five

gallants: they bow to her; she rises and shows the like: they dance, but first deliver the shields up; she reads.

They go to dance, each unhasps his weapon from his side, and gives it to the torchbearers. Katherine seems

distrustful, but then Fitsgrave whispers to her and falls back. At then end of which, all making an honour,

Betrayed? You're [not worthy to be] to betrayed, you have not so much worth: nay, struggle not with the net,

Since all our shifts are discovered, as far as I can see, 'tis our best course to marry 'em; we'll make them get

You see how we are threatened: by my troth, wenches, be ruled by me; let's marry 'em, and it be but to plague

'em; for when we have husbands we are under covertbaron, and may lie with whom we list! I have tried that