Title: The Good Soldier
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Author: Ford Madox Ford
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The Good Soldier
Ford Madox Ford
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Table of Contents
The Good Soldier................................................................................................................................................1
Ford Madox Ford.....................................................................................................................................1
The Good Soldier
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The Good Soldier
Ford Madox Ford
Part I
I
II
III
IV
V
VI
Part II
I
I
Part II
I
II
III
IV
V
Part IV
I
II
III
IV
V
VI
PART I
I
THIS is the saddest story I have ever heard. We had known the Ashburnhams for nine seasons of the town of
Nauheim with an extreme intimacyor, rather with an acquaintanceship as loose and easy and yet as close
as a good glove's with your hand. My wife and I knew Captain and Mrs Ashburnham as well as it was
possible to know anybody, and yet, in another sense, we knew nothing at all about them. This is, I believe, a
state of things only possible with English people of whom, till today, when I sit down to puzzle out what I
know of this sad affair, I knew nothing whatever. Six months ago I had never been to England, and, certainly,
I had never sounded the depths of an English heart. I had known the shallows.
I don't mean to say that we were not acquainted with many English people. Living, as we perforce lived, in
Europe, and being, as we perforce were, leisured Americans, which is as much as to say that we were
unAmerican, we were thrown very much into the society of the nicer English. Paris, you see, was our home.
Somewhere between Nice and Bordighera provided yearly winter quarters for us, and Nauheim always
received us from July to September. You will gather from this statement that one of us had, as the saying is, a
"heart", and, from the statement that my wife is dead, that she was the sufferer.
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Captain Ashburnham also had a heart. But, whereas a yearly month or so at Nauheim tuned him up to exactly
the right pitch for the rest of the twelvemonth, the two months or so were only just enough to keep poor
Florence alive from year to year. The reason for his heart was, approximately, polo, or too much hard
sportsmanship in his youth. The reason for poor Florence's broken years was a storm at sea upon our first
crossing to Europe, and the immediate reasons for our imprisonment in that continent were doctor's orders.
They said that even the short Channel crossing might well kill the poor thing.
When we all first met, Captain Ashburnham, home on sick leave from an India to which he was never to
return, was thirtythree; Mrs AshburnhamLeonorawas thirtyone. I was thirtysix and poor Florence
thirty. Thus today Florence would have been thirtynine and Captain Ashburnham fortytwo; whereas I am
fortyfive and Leonora forty. You will perceive, therefore, that our friendship has been a
youngmiddleaged affair, since we were all of us of quite quiet dispositions, the Ashburnhams being more
particularly what in England it is the custom to call "quite good people".
They were descended, as you will probably expect, from the Ashburnham who accompanied Charles I to the
scaffold, and, as you must also expect with this class of English people, you would never have noticed it. Mrs
Ashburnham was a Powys; Florence was a Hurlbird of Stamford, Connecticut, where, as you know, they are
more oldfashioned than even the inhabitants of Cranford, England, could have been. I myself am a Dowell
of Philadelphia, Pa., where, it is historically true, there are more old English families than you would find in
any six English counties taken together. I carry about with me, indeedas if it were the only thing that
invisibly anchored me to any spot upon the globethe title deeds of my farm, which once covered several
blocks between Chestnut and Walnut Streets. These title deeds are of wampum, the grant of an Indian chief to
the first Dowell, who left Farnham in Surrey in company with William Penn. Florence's people, as is so often
the case with the inhabitants of Connecticut, came from the neighbourhood of Fordingbridge, where the
Ashburnhams' place is. From there, at this moment, I am actually writing.
You may well ask why I write. And yet my reasons are quite many. For it is not unusual in human beings
who have witnessed the sack of a city or the falling to pieces of a people to desire to set down what they have
witnessed for the benefit of unknown heirs or of generations infinitely remote; or, if you please, just to get the
sight out of their heads.
Some one has said that the death of a mouse from cancer is the whole sack of Rome by the Goths, and I
swear to you that the breaking up of our little foursquare coterie was such another unthinkable event.
Supposing that you should come upon us sitting together at one of the little tables in front of the club house,
let us say, at Homburg, taking tea of an afternoon and watching the miniature golf, you would have said that,
as human affairs go, we were an extraordinarily safe castle. We were, if you will, one of those tall ships with
the white sails upon a blue sea, one of those things that seem the proudest and the safest of all the beautiful
and safe things that God has permitted the mind of men to frame. Where better could one take refuge? Where
better?
Permanence? Stability? I can't believe it's gone. I can't believe that that long, tranquil life, which was just
stepping a minuet, vanished in four crashing days at the end of nine years and six weeks. Upon my word, yes,
our intimacy was like a minuet, simply because on every possible occasion and in every possible
circumstance we knew where to go, where to sit, which table we unanimously should choose; and we could
rise and go, all four together, without a signal from any one of us, always to the music of the Kur orchestra,
always in the temperate sunshine, or, if it rained, in discreet shelters. No, indeed, it can't be gone. You can't
kill a minuet de la cour. You may shut up the musicbook, close the harpsichord; in the cupboard and presses
the rats may destroy the white satin favours. The mob may sack Versailles; the Trianon may fall, but surely
the minuetthe minuet itself is dancing itself away into the furthest stars, even as our minuet of the Hessian
bathing places must be stepping itself still. Isn't there any heaven where old beautiful dances, old beautiful
intimacies prolong themselves? Isn't there any Nirvana pervaded by the faint thrilling of instruments that
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have fallen into the dust of wormwood but that yet had frail, tremulous, and everlasting souls?
No, by God, it is false! It wasn't a minuet that we stepped; it was a prisona prison full of screaming
hysterics, tied down so that they might not outsound the rolling of our carriage wheels as we went along the
shaded avenues of the Taunus Wald.
And yet I swear by the sacred name of my creator that it was true. It was true sunshine; the true music; the
true splash of the fountains from the mouth of stone dolphins. For, if for me we were four people with the
same tastes, with the same desires, actingor, no, not actingsitting here and there unanimously, isn't that
the truth? If for nine years I have possessed a goodly apple that is rotten at the core and discover its rottenness
only in nine years and six months less four days, isn't it true to say that for nine years I possessed a goodly
apple? So it may well be with Edward Ashburnham, with Leonora his wife and with poor dear Florence. And,
if you come to think of it, isn't it a little odd that the physical rottenness of at least two pillars of our
foursquare house never presented itself to my mind as a menace to its security? It doesn't so present itself
now though the two of them are actually dead. I don't know. . . .
I know nothingnothing in the worldof the hearts of men. I only know that I am alonehorribly alone.
No hearthstone will ever again witness, for me, friendly intercourse. No smokingroom will ever be other
than peopled with incalculable simulacra amidst smoke wreaths. Yet, in the name of God, what should I
know if I don't know the life of the hearth and of the smokingroom, since my whole life has been passed in
those places? The warm hearthside! Well, there was Florence: I believe that for the twelve years her life
lasted, after the storm that seemed irretrievably to have weakened her heartI don't believe that for one
minute she was out of my sight, except when she was safely tucked up in bed and I should be downstairs,
talking to some good fellow or other in some lounge or smokingroom or taking my final turn with a cigar
before going to bed. I don't, you understand, blame Florence. But how can she have known what she knew?
How could she have got to know it? To know it so fully. Heavens! There doesn't seem to have been the actual
time. It must have been when I was taking my baths, and my Swedish exercises, being manicured. Leading
the life I did, of the sedulous, strained nurse, I had to do something to keep myself fit. It must have been then!
Yet even that can't have been enough time to get the tremendously long conversations full of worldly wisdom
that Leonora has reported to me since their deaths. And is it possible to imagine that during our prescribed
walks in Nauheim and the neighbourhood she found time to carry on the protracted negotiations which she
did carry on between Edward Ashburnham and his wife? And isn't it incredible that during all that time
Edward and Leonora never spoke a word to each other in private? What is one to think of humanity?
For I swear to you that they were the model couple. He was as devoted as it was possible to be without
appearing fatuous. So well set up, with such honest blue eyes, such a touch of stupidity, such a warm
goodheartedness! And sheso tall, so splendid in the saddle, so fair! Yes, Leonora was extraordinarily fair
and so extraordinarily the real thing that she seemed too good to be true. You don't, I mean, as a rule, get it all
so superlatively together. To be the county family, to look the county family, to be so appropriately and
perfectly wealthy; to be so perfect in mannereven just to the saving touch of insolence that seems to be
necessary. To have all that and to be all that! No, it was too good to be true. And yet, only this afternoon,
talking over the whole matter she said to me: "Once I tried to have a lover but I was so sick at the heart, so
utterly worn out that I had to send him away." That struck me as the most amazing thing I had ever heard.
She said "I was actually in a man's arms. Such a nice chap! Such a dear fellow! And I was saying to myself,
fiercely, hissing it between my teeth, as they say in novelsand really clenching them together: I was saying
to myself: 'Now, I'm in for it and I'll really have a good time for once in my lifefor once in my life!' It was
in the dark, in a carriage, coming back from a hunt ball. Eleven miles we had to drive! And then suddenly the
bitterness of the endless poverty, of the endless actingit fell on me like a blight, it spoilt everything. Yes, I
had to realize that I had been spoilt even for the good time when it came. And I burst out crying and I cried
and I cried for the whole eleven miles. Just imagine me crying! And just imagine me making a fool of the
poor dear chap like that. It certainly wasn't playing the game, was it now?"
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I don't know; I don't know; was that last remark of hers the remark of a harlot, or is it what every decent
woman, county family or not county family, thinks at the bottom of her heart? Or thinks all the time for the
matter of that? Who knows?
Yet, if one doesn't know that at this hour and day, at this pitch of civilization to which we have attained, after
all the preachings of all the moralists, and all the teachings of all the mothers to all the daughters in saecula
saeculorum . . . but perhaps that is what all mothers teach all daughters, not with lips but with the eyes, or
with heart whispering to heart. And, if one doesn't know as much as that about the first thing in the world,
what does one know and why is one here?
I asked Mrs Ashburnham whether she had told Florence that and what Florence had said and she
answered:"Florence didn't offer any comment at all. What could she say? There wasn't anything to be said.
With the grinding poverty we had to put up with to keep up appearances, and the way the poverty came
aboutyou know what I meanany woman would have been justified in taking a lover and presents too.
Florence once said about a very similar positionshe was a little too wellbred, too American, to talk about
minethat it was a case of perfectly open riding and the woman could just act on the spur of the moment.
She said it in American of course, but that was the sense of it. I think her actual words were: 'That it was up
to her to take it or leave it. . . .'"
I don't want you to think that I am writing Teddy Ashburnham down a brute. I don't believe he was. God
knows, perhaps all men are like that. For as I've said what do I know even of the smokingroom? Fellows
come in and tell the most extraordinarily gross storiesso gross that they will positively give you a pain.
And yet they'd be offended if you suggested that they weren't the sort of person you could trust your wife
alone with. And very likely they'd be quite properly offendedthat is if you can trust anybody alone with
anybody. But that sort of fellow obviously takes more delight in listening to or in telling gross storiesmore
delight than in anything else in the world. They'll hunt languidly and dress languidly and dine languidly and
work without enthusiasm and find it a bore to carry on three minutes' conversation about anything whatever
and yet, when the other sort of conversation begins, they'll laugh. and wake up and throw themselves about in
their chairs. Then, if they so delight in the narration, how is it possible that they can be offendedand
properly offendedat the suggestion that they might make attempts upon your wife's honour? Or again:
Edward Ashburnham was the cleanest looking sort of chap;an excellent magistrate, a first rate soldier, one
of the best landlords, so they said, in Hampshire, England. To the poor and to hopeless drunkards, as I myself
have witnessed, he was like a painstaking guardian. And he never told a story that couldn't have gone into the
columns of the Field more than once or twice in all the nine years of my knowing him. He didn't even like
hearing them; he would fidget and get up and go out to buy a cigar or something of that sort. You would have
said that he was just exactly the sort of chap that you could have trusted your wife with. And I trusted mine
and it was madness.
And yet again you have me. If poor Edward was dangerous because of the chastity of his expressionsand
they say that is always the hallmark of a libertinewhat about myself? For I solemnly avow that not only
have I never so much as hinted at an impropriety in my conversation in the whole of my days; and more than
that, I will vouch for the cleanness of my thoughts and the absolute chastity of my life. At what, then, does it
all work out? Is the whole thing a folly and a mockery? Am I no better than a eunuch or is the proper
manthe man with the right to existencea raging stallion forever neighing after his neighbour's
womankind?
I don't know. And there is nothing to guide us. And if everything is so nebulous about a matter so elementary
as the morals of sex, what is there to guide us in the more subtle morality of all other personal contacts,
associations, and activities? Or are we meant to act on impulse alone? It is all a darkness.
II
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I DON'T know how it is best to put this thing downwhether it would be better to try and tell the story from
the beginning, as if it were a story; or whether to tell it from this distance of time, as it reached me from the
lips of Leonora or from those of Edward himself.
So I shall just imagine myself for a fortnight or so at one side of the fireplace of a country cottage, with a
sympathetic soul opposite me. And I shall go on talking, in a low voice while the sea sounds in the distance
and overhead the great black flood of wind polishes the bright stars. From time to time we shall get up and go
to the door and look out at the great moon and say: "Why, it is nearly as bright as in Provence!" And then we
shall come back to the fireside, with just the touch of a sigh because we are not in that Provence where even
the saddest stories are gay. Consider the lamentable history of Peire Vidal. Two years ago Florence and I
motored from Biarritz to Las Tours, which is in the Black Mountains. In the middle of a tortuous valley there
rises up an immense pinnacle and on the pinnacle are four castlesLas Tours, the Towers. And the immense
mistral blew down that valley which was the way from France into Provence so that the silver grey olive
leaves appeared like hair flying in the wind, and the tufts of rosemary crept into the iron rocks that they might
not be torn up by the roots.
It was, of course, poor dear Florence who wanted to go to Las Tours. You are to imagine that, however much
her bright personality came from Stamford, Connecticut, she was yet a graduate of Poughkeepsie. I never
could imagine how she did itthe queer, chattery person that she was. With the faraway look in her
eyeswhich wasn't, however, in the least romanticI mean that she didn't look as if she were seeing poetic
dreams, or looking through you, for she hardly ever did look at you!holding up one hand as if she wished
to silence any objectionor any comment for the matter of thatshe would talk. She would talk about
William the Silent, about Gustave the Loquacious, about Paris frocks, about how the poor dressed in 1337,
about FantinLatour, about the ParisLyonsMediterranée traindeluxe, about whether it would be worth
while to get off at Tarascon and go across the windswept suspensionbridge, over the Rhone to take another
look at Beaucaire.
We never did take another look at Beaucaire, of coursebeautiful Beaucaire, with the high, triangular white
tower, that looked as thin as a needle and as tall as the Flatiron, between Fifth and BroadwayBeaucaire
with the grey walls on the top of the pinnacle surrounding an acre and a half of blue irises, beneath the
tallness of the stone pines, What a beautiful thing the stone pine is! . . .
No, we never did go back anywhere. Not to Heidelberg, not to Hamelin, not to Verona, not to Mont
Majournot so much as to Carcassonne itself. We talked of it, of course, but I guess Florence got all she
wanted out of one look at a place. She had the seeing eye.
I haven't, unfortunately, so that the world is full of places to which I want to returntowns with the blinding
white sun upon them; stone pines against the blue of the sky; corners of gables, all carved and painted with
stags and scarlet flowers and crowstepped gables with the little saint at the top; and grey and pink palazzi and
walled towns a mile or so back from the sea, on the Mediterranean, between Leghorn and Naples. Not one of
them did we see more than once, so that the whole world for me is like spots of colour in an immense canvas.
Perhaps if it weren't so I should have something to catch hold of now.
Is all this digression or isn't it digression? Again I don't know. You, the listener, sit opposite me. But you are
so silent. You don't tell me anything. I am, at any rate, trying to get you to see what sort of life it was I led
with Florence and what Florence was like. Well, she was bright; and she danced. She seemed to dance over
the floors of castles and over seas and over and over and over the salons of modistes and over the plages of
the Rivieralike a gay tremulous beam, reflected from water upon a ceiling. And my function in life was to
keep that bright thing in existence. And it was almost as difficult as trying to catch with your hand that
dancing reflection. And the task lasted for years.
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Florence's aunts used to say that I must be the laziest man in Philadelphia. They had never been to
Philadelphia and they had the New England conscience. You see, the first thing they said to me when I called
in on Florence in the little ancient, colonial, wooden house beneath the high, thinleaved elmsthe first
question they asked me was not how I did but what did I do. And I did nothing. I suppose I ought to have
done something, but I didn't see any call to do it. Why does one do things? I just drifted in and wanted
Florence. First I had drifted in on Florence at a Browning tea, or something of the sort in Fourteenth Street,
which was then still residential. I don't know why I had gone to New York; I don't know why I had gone to
the tea. I don't see why Florence should have gone to that sort of spelling bee. It wasn't the place at which,
even then, you expected to find a Poughkeepsie graduate. I guess Florence wanted to raise the culture of the
Stuyvesant crowd and did it as she might have gone in slumming. Intellectual slumming, that was what it
was. She always wanted to leave the world a little more elevated than she found it. Poor dear thing, I have
heard her lecture Teddy Ashburnham by the hour on the difference between a Franz Hals and a Wouvermans
and why the PreMycenaean statues were cubical with knobs on the top. I wonder what he made of it?
Perhaps he was thankful.
I know I was. For do you understand my whole attentions, my whole endeavours were to keep poor dear
Florence on to topics like the finds at Cnossos and the mental spirituality of Walter Pater. I had to keep her at
it, you understand, or she might die. For I was solemnly informed that if she became excited over anything or
if her emotions were really stirred her little heart might cease to beat. For twelve years I had to watch every
word that any person uttered in any conversation and I had to head it off what the English call "things"off
love, poverty, crime, religion and the rest of it. Yes, the first doctor that we had when she was carried off the
ship at Havre assured me that this must be done. Good God, are all these fellows monstrous idiots, or is there
a freemasonry between all of them from end to end of the earth? . . . That is what makes me think of that
fellow Peire Vidal.
Because, of course, his story is culture and I had to head her towards culture and at the same time it's so
funny and she hadn't got to laugh, and it's so full of love and she wasn't to think of love. Do you know the
story? Las Tours of the Four Castles had for chatelaine Blanche Somebodyorother who was called as a
term of commendation, La Louvethe SheWolf. And Peire Vidal the Troubadour paid his court to La
Louve. And she wouldn't have anything to do with him. So, out of compliment to herthe things people do
when they're in love!he dressed himself up in wolfskins and went up into the Black Mountains. And the
shepherds of the Montagne Noire and their dogs mistook him for a wolf and he was torn with the fangs and
beaten with clubs. So they carried him back to Las Tours and La Louve wasn't at all impressed. They
polished him up and her husband remonstrated seriously with her. Vidal was, you see, a great poet and it was
not proper to treat a great poet with indifference.
So Peire Vidal declared himself Emperor of Jerusalem or somewhere and the husband had to kneel down and
kiss his feet though La Louve wouldn't. And Peire set sail in a rowing boat with four companions to redeem
the Holy Sepulchre. And they struck on a rock somewhere, and, at great expense, the husband had to fit out
an expedition to fetch him back. And Peire Vidal fell all over the Lady's bed while the husband, who was a
most ferocious warrior, remonstrated some more about the courtesy that is due to great poets. But I suppose
La Louve was the more ferocious of the two. Anyhow, that is all that came of it. Isn't that a story?
You haven't an idea of the queer oldfashionedness of Florence's auntsthe Misses Hurlbird, nor yet of her
uncle. An extraordinarily lovable man, that Uncle John. Thin, gentle, and with a "heart" that made his life
very much what Florence's afterwards became. He didn't reside at Stamford; his home was in Waterbury
where the watches come from. He had a factory there which, in our queer American way, would change its
functions almost from year to year. For nine months or so it would manufacture buttons out of bone. Then it
would suddenly produce brass buttons for coachmen's liveries. Then it would take a turn at embossed tin lids
for candy boxes. The fact is that the poor old gentleman, with his weak and fluttering heart, didn't want his
factory to manufacture anything at all. He wanted to retire. And he did retire when he was seventy. But he
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was so worried at having all the street boys in the town point after him and exclaim: "There goes the laziest
man in Waterbury!" that he tried taking a tour round the world. And Florence and a young man called Jimmy
went with him. It appears from what Florence told me that Jimmy's function with Mr Hurlbird was to avoid
exciting topics for him. He had to keep him, for instance, out of political discussions. For the poor old man
was a violent Democrat in days when you might travel the world over without finding anything but a
Republican. Anyhow, they went round the world.
I think an anecdote is about the best way to give you an idea of what the old gentleman was like. For it is
perhaps important that you should know what the old gentleman was; he had a great deal of influence in
forming the character of my poor dear wife.
Just before they set out from San Francisco for the South Seas old Mr Hurlbird said he must take something
with him to make little presents to people he met on the voyage. And it struck him that the things to take for
that purpose were orangesbecause California is the orange countryand comfortable folding chairs. So he
bought I don't know how many cases of orangesthe great cool California oranges, and halfadozen
folding chairs in a special case that he always kept in his cabin. There must have been half a cargo of fruit.
For, to every person on board the several steamers that they employedto every person with whom he had
so much as a nodding acquaintance, he gave an orange every morning. And they lasted him right round the
girdle of this mighty globe of ours. When they were at North Cape, even, he saw on the horizon, poor dear
thin man that he was, a lighthouse. "Hello," says he to himself, "these fellows must be very lonely. Let's take
them some oranges." So he had a boatload of his fruit out and had himself rowed to the lighthouse on the
horizon. The folding chairs he lent to any lady that he came across and liked or who seemed tired and
invalidish on the ship. And so, guarded against his heart and, having his niece with him, he went round the
world. . . .
He wasn't obtrusive about his heart. You wouldn't have known he had one. He only left it to the physical
laboratory at Waterbury for the benefit of science, since he considered it to be quite an extraordinary kind of
heart. And the joke of the matter was that, when, at the age of eightyfour, just five days before poor
Florence, he died of bronchitis there was found to be absolutely nothing the matter with that organ. It had
certainly jumped or squeaked or something just sufficiently to take in the doctors, hut it appears that that was
because of an odd formation of the lungs. I don't much understand about these matters.
I inherited his money because Florence died five days after him. I wish I hadn't. It was a great worry. I had to
go out to Waterbury just after Florence's death because the poor dear old fellow had left a good many
charitable bequests and I had to appoint trustees. I didn't like the idea of their not being properly handled.
Yes, it was a great worry. And just as I had got things roughly settled I received the extraordinary cable from
Ashburnham begging me to come back and have a talk with him. And immediately afterwards came one from
Leonora saying, "Yes, please do come. You could be so helpful." It was as if he had sent the cable without
consulting her and had afterwards told her. Indeed, that was pretty much what had happened, except that he
had told the girl and the girl told the wife. I arrived, however, too late to be of any good if I could have been
of any good. And then I had my first taste of English life. It was amazing. It was overwhelming. I never shall
forget the polished cob that Edward, beside me, drove; the animal's action, its highstepping, its skin that was
like satin. And the peace! And the red cheeks! And the beautiful, beautiful old house.
Just near Branshaw Teleragh it was and we descended on it from the high, clear, windswept waste of the New
Forest. I tell you it was amazing to arrive there from Waterbury. And it came into my headfor Teddy
Ashburnham, you remember, had cabled to me to "come and have a talk" with himthat it was unbelievable
that anything essentially calamitous could happen to that place and those people. I tell you it was the very
spirit of peace. And Leonora, beautiful and smiling, with her coils of yellow hair, stood on the top doorstep,
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with a butler and footman and a maid or so behind her. And she just said: "So glad you've come," as if I'd run
down to lunch from a town ten miles away, instead of having come half the world over at the call of two
urgent telegrams.
The girl was out with the hounds, I think.
And that poor devil beside me was in an agony. Absolute, hopeless, dumb agony such as passes the mind of
man to imagine.
III
IT was a very hot summer, in August, 1904; and Florence had already been taking the baths for a month. I
don't know how it feels to be a patient at one of those places. I never was a patient anywhere. I daresay the
patients get a home feeling and some sort of anchorage in the spot. They seem to like the bath attendants,
with their cheerful faces, their air of authority, their white linen. But, for myself, to be at Nauheim gave me a
sensewhat shall I say?a sense almost of nakednessthe nakedness that one feels on the seashore or in
any great open space. I had no attachments, no accumulations. In one's own home it is as if little, innate
sympathies draw one to particular chairs that seem to enfold one in an embrace, or take one along particular
streets that seem friendly when others may be hostile. And, believe me, that feeling is a very important part of
life. I know it well, that have been for so long a wanderer upon the face of public resorts. And one is too
polished up. Heaven knows I was never an untidy man. But the feeling that I had when, whilst poor Florence
was taking her morning bath, I stood upon the carefully swept steps of the Englischer Hof, looking at the
carefully arranged trees in tubs upon the carefully arranged gravel whilst carefully arranged people walked
past in carefully calculated gaiety, at the carefully calculated hour, the tall trees of the public gardens, going
up to the right; the reddish stone of the bathsor were they white halftimber châlets? Upon my word I have
forgotten, I who was there so often. That will give you the measure of how much I was in the landscape. I
could find my way blindfolded to the hot rooms, to the douche rooms, to the fountain in the centre of the
quadrangle where the rusty water gushes out. Yes, I could find my way blindfolded. I know the exact
distances. From the Hotel Regina you took one hundred and eightyseven paces, then, turning sharp,
lefthanded, four hundred and twenty took you straight down to the fountain. From the Englischer Hof,
starting on the sidewalk, it was ninetyseven paces and the same four hundred and twenty, but turning
lefthanded this time.
And now you understand that, having nothing in the world to dobut nothing whatever! I fell into the habit
of counting my footsteps. I would walk with Florence to the baths. And, of course, she entertained me with
her conversation. It was, as I have said, wonderful what she could make conversation out of. She walked very
lightly, and her hair was very nicely done, and she dressed beautifully and very expensively. Of course she
had money of her own, but I shouldn't have minded. And yet you know I can't remember a single one of her
dresses. Or I can remember just one, a very simple one of blue figured silka Chinese patternvery full in
the skirts and broadening out over the shoulders. And her hair was coppercoloured, and the heels of her
shoes were exceedingly high, so that she tripped upon the points of her toes. And when she came to the door
of the bathing place, and when it opened to receive her, she would look back at me with a little coquettish
smile, so that her cheek appeared to be caressing her shoulder.
I seem to remember that, with that dress, she wore an immensely broad Leghorn hatlike the Chapeau de
Paille of Rubens, only very white. The hat would be tied with a lightly knotted scarf of the same stuff as her
dress. She knew how to give value to her blue eyes. And round her neck would be some simple pink, coral
beads. And her complexion had a perfect clearness, a perfect smoothness . . .
Yes, that is how I most exactly remember her, in that dress, in that hat, looking over her shoulder at me so
that the eyes flashed very bluedark pebble blue . . .
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And, what the devil! For whose benefit did she do it? For that of the bath attendant? of the passersby? I
don't know. Anyhow, it can't have been for me, for never, in all the years of her life, never on any possible
occasion, or in any other place did she so smile to me, mockingly, invitingly. Ah, she was a riddle; but then,
all other women are riddles. And it occurs to me that some way back I began a sentence that I have never
finished . . . It was about the feeling that I had when I stood on the steps of my hotel every morning before
starting out to fetch Florence back from the bath. Natty, precise, wellbrushed, conscious of being rather
small amongst the long English, the lank Americans, the rotund Germans, and the obese Russian Jewesses, I
should stand there, tapping a cigarette on the outside of my case, surveying for a moment the world in the
sunlight. But a day was to come when I was never to do it again alone. You can imagine, therefore, what the
coming of the Ashburnhams meant to me.
I have forgotten the aspect of many things, but I shall never forget the aspect of the diningroom of the Hotel
Excelsior on that eveningand on so many other evenings. Whole castles have vanished from my memory,
whole cities that I have never visited again, but that white room, festooned with papiermaché fruits and
flowers; the tall windows; the many tables; the black screen round the door with three golden cranes flying
upward on each panel; the palmtree in the centre of the room; the swish of the waiter's feet; the cold
expensive elegance; the mien of the diners as they came in every eveningtheir air of earnestness as if they
must go through a meal prescribed by the Kur authorities and their air of sobriety as if they must seek not by
any means to enjoy their mealsthose things I shall not easily forget. And then, one evening, in the twilight,
I saw Edward Ashburnham lounge round the screen into the room. The head waiter, a man with a face all
greyin what subterranean nooks or corners do people cultivate those absolutely grey complexions?went
with the timorous patronage of these creatures towards him and held out a grey ear to be whispered into. It
was generally a disagreeable ordeal for newcomers but Edward Ashburnham bore it like an Englishman and a
gentleman. I could see his lips form a word of three syllablesremember I had nothing in the world to do
but to notice these nicetiesand immediately I knew that he must be Edward Ashburnham, Captain,
Fourteenth Hussars, of Branshaw House, Branshaw Teleragh. I knew it because every evening just before
dinner, whilst I waited in the hall, I used, by the courtesy of Monsieur Schontz, the proprietor, to inspect the
little police reports that each guest was expected to sign upon taking a room.
The head waiter piloted him immediately to a vacant table, three away from my ownthe table that the
Grenfalls of Falls River, N.J., had just vacated. It struck me that that was not a very nice table for the
newcomers, since the sunlight, low though it was, shone straight down upon it, and the same idea seemed to
come at the same moment into Captain Ashburnham's head. His face hitherto had, in the wonderful English
fashion, expressed nothing whatever. Nothing. There was in it neither joy nor despair; neither hope nor fear;
neither boredom nor satisfaction. He seemed to perceive no soul in that crowded room; he might have been
walking in a jungle. I never came across such a perfect expression before and I never shall again. It was
insolence and not insolence; it was modesty and not modesty. His hair was fair, extraordinarily ordered in a
wave, running from the left temple to the right; his face was a light brickred, perfectly uniform in tint up to
the roots of the hair itself; his yellow moustache was as stiff as a toothbrush and I verily believe that he had
his black smoking jacket thickened a little over the shoulderblades so as to give himself the air of the
slightest possible stoop. It would be like him to do that; that was the sort of thing he thought about.
Martingales, Chiffney bits, boots; where you got the best soap, the best brandy, the name of the chap who
rode a plater down the Khyber cliffs; the spreading power of number three shot before a charge of number
four powder . . . by heavens, I hardly ever heard him talk of anything else. Not in all the years that I knew
him did I hear him talk of anything but these subjects. Oh, yes, once he told me that I could buy my special
shade of blue ties cheaper from a firm in Burlington Arcade than from my own people in New York. And I
have bought my ties from that firm ever since. Otherwise I should not remember the name of the Burlington
Arcade. I wonder what it looks like. I have never seen it. I imagine it to be two immense rows of pillars, like
those of the Forum at Rome, with Edward Ashburnham striding down between them. But it probably
isn'tthe least like that. Once also he advised me to buy Caledonian Deferred, since they were due to rise.
And I did buy them and they did rise. But of how he got the knowledge I haven't the faintest idea. It seemed
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to drop out of the blue sky.
And that was absolutely all that I knew of him until a month agothat and the profusion of his cases, all of
pigskin and stamped with his initials, E. F. A. There were gun cases, and collar cases, and shirt cases, and
letter cases and cases each containing four bottles of medicine; and hat cases and helmet cases. It must have
needed a whole herd of the Gadarene swine to make up his outfit. And, if I ever penetrated into his private
room it would be to see him standing, with his coat and waistcoat off and the immensely long line of his
perfectly elegant trousers from waist to boot heel. And he would have a slightly reflective air and he would
be just opening one kind of case and just closing another.
Good God, what did they all see in him? for I swear there was all there was of him, inside and out; though
they said he was a good soldier. Yet, Leonora adored him with a passion that was like an agony, and hated
him with an agony that was as bitter as the sea. How could he arouse anything like a sentiment, in anybody?
What did he even talk to them aboutwhen they were under four eyes? Ah, well, suddenly, as if by a
flash of inspiration, I know. For all good soldiers are sentimentalistsall good soldiers of that type. Their
profession, for one thing, is full of the big words, courage, loyalty, honour, constancy. And I have given a
wrong impression of Edward Ashburnham if I have made you think that literally never in the course of our
nine years of intimacy did he discuss what he would have called "the graver things." Even before his final
outburst to me, at times, very late at night, say, he has blurted out something that gave an insight into the
sentimental view of the cosmos that was his. He would say how much the society of a good woman could do
towards redeeming you, and he would say that constancy was the finest of the virtues. He said it very stiffly,
of course, but still as if the statement admitted of no doubt.
Constancy! Isn't that the queer thought? And yet, I must add that poor dear Edward was a great readerhe
would pass hours lost in novels of a sentimental typenovels in which typewriter girls married Marquises
and governesses Earls. And in his books, as a rule, the course of true love ran as smooth as buttered honey.
And he was fond of poetry, of a certain typeand he could even read a perfectly sad love story. I have seen
his eyes filled with tears at reading of a hopeless parting. And he loved, with a sentimental yearning, all
children, puppies, and the feeble generally. . . .
So, you see, he would have plenty to gurgle about to a womanwith that and his sound common sense about
martingales and hisstill sentimentalexperiences as a county magistrate; and with his intense, optimistic
belief that the woman he was making love to at the moment was the one he was destined, at last, to be
eternally constant to. . . . Well, I fancy he could put up a pretty good deal of talk when there was no man
around to make him feel shy. And I was quite astonished, during his final burst out to meat the very end of
things, when the poor girl was on her way to that fatal Brindisi and he was trying to persuade himself and me
that he had never really cared for herI was quite astonished to observe how literary and how just his
expressions were. He talked like quite a good booka book not in the least cheaply sentimental. You see, I
suppose he regarded me not so much as a man. I had to be regarded as a woman or a solicitor. Anyhow, it
burst out of him on that horrible night. And then, next morning, he took me over to the Assizes and I saw
how, in a perfectly calm and businesslike way, he set to work to secure a verdict of not guilty for a poor girl,
the daughter of one of his tenants, who had been accused of murdering her baby. He spent two hundred
pounds on her defence . . . Well, that was Edward Ashburnham.
I had forgotten about his eyes. They were as blue as the sides of a certain type of box of matches. When you
looked at them carefully you saw that they were perfectly honest, perfectly straightforward, perfectly,
perfectly stupid. But the brick pink of his complexion, running perfectly level to the brick pink of his inner
eyelids, gave them a curious, sinister expressionlike a mosaic of blue porcelain set in pink china. And that
chap, coming into a room, snapped up the gaze of every woman in it, as dexterously as a conjurer pockets
billiard balls. It was most amazing. You know the man on the stage who throws up sixteen balls at once and
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they all drop into pockets all over his person, on his shoulders, on his heels, on the inner side of his sleeves;
and he stands perfectly still and does nothing. Well, it was like that. He had rather a rough, hoarse voice.
And, there he was, standing by the table. I was looking at him, with my back to the screen. And suddenly, I
saw two distinct expressions flicker across his immobile eyes. How the deuce did they do it, those
unflinching blue eyes with the direct gaze? For the eyes themselves never moved, gazing over my shoulder
towards the screen. And the gaze was perfectly level and perfectly direct and perfectly unchanging. I suppose
that the lids really must have rounded themselves a little and perhaps the lips moved a little too, as if he
should be saying: "There you are, my dear." At any rate, the expression was that of pride, of satisfaction, of
the possessor. I saw him once afterwards, for a moment, gaze upon the sunny fields of Branshaw and say:
"All this is my land!"
And then again, the gaze was perhaps more direct, harder if possiblehardy too. It was a measuring look; a
challenging look. Once when we were at Wiesbaden watching him play in a polo match against the Bonner
Hussaren I saw the same look come into his eyes, balancing the possibilities, looking over the ground. The
German Captain, Count Baron Idigon von Lelöffel, was right up by their goal posts, coming with the ball in
an easy canter in that tricky German fashion. The rest of the field were just anywhere. It was only a scratch
sort of affair. Ashburnham was quite close to the rails not five yards from us and I heard him saying to
himself: "Might just be done!" And he did it. Goodness! he swung that pony round with all its four legs
spread out, like a cat dropping off a roof. . . .
Well, it was just that look that I noticed in his eyes: "It might," I seem even now to hear him muttering to
himself, "just be done."
I looked round over my shoulder and saw, tall, smiling brilliantly and buoyantLeonora. And, little and fair,
and as radiant as the track of sunlight along the seamy wife.
That poor wretch! to think that he was at that moment in a perfect devil of a fix, and there he was, saying at
the back of his mind: "It might just be done." It was like a chap in the middle of the eruption of a volcano,
saying that he might just manage to bolt into the tumult and set fire to a haystack. Madness? Predestination?
Who the devil knows?
Mrs Ashburnham exhibited at that moment more gaiety than I have ever since known her to show. There are
certain classes of English peoplethe nicer ones when they have been to many spas, who seem to make a
point of becoming much more than usually animated when they are introduced to my compatriots. I have
noticed this often. Of course, they must first have accepted the Americans. But that once done, they seem to
say to themselves: "Hallo, these women are so bright. We aren't going to be outdone in brightness." And for
the time being they certainly aren't. But it wears off. So it was with Leonoraat least until she noticed me.
She began, Leonora didand perhaps it was that that gave me the idea of a touch of insolence in her
character, for she never afterwards did any one single thing like itshe began by saying in quite a loud voice
and from quite a distance:
"Don't stop over by that stuffy old table, Teddy. Come and sit by these nice people!"
And that was an extraordinary thing to say. Quite extraordinary. I couldn't for the life of me refer to total
strangers as nice people. But, of course, she was taking a line of her own in which I at any rateand no one
else in the room, for she too had taken the trouble to read through the list of guestscounted any more than
so many clean, bull terriers. And she sat down rather brilliantly at a vacant table, beside oursone that was
reserved for the Guggenheimers. And she just sat absolutely deaf to the remonstrances of the head waiter
with his face like a grey ram's. That poor chap was doing his steadfast duty too. He knew that the
Guggenheimers of Chicago, after they had stayed there a month and had worried the poor life out of him,
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would give him two dollars fifty and grumble at the tipping system. And he knew that Teddy Ashburnham
and his wife would give him no trouble whatever except what the smiles of Leonora might cause in his
apparently unimpressionable bosomthough you never can tell what may go on behind even a not quite
spotless plastron! And every week Edward Ashburnham would give him a solid, sound, golden English
sovereign. Yet this stout fellow was intent on saving that table for the Guggenheimers of Chicago. It ended in
Florence saying:
"Why shouldn't we all eat out of the same trough? that's a nasty New York saying. But I'm sure we're all
nice quiet people and there can be four seats at our table. It's round."
Then came, as it were, an appreciative gurgle from the Captain and I was perfectly aware of a slight
hesitationa quick sharp motion in Mrs Ashburnham, as if her horse had checked. But she put it at the fence
all right, rising from the seat she had taken and sitting down opposite me, as it were, all in one motion.
I never thought that Leonora looked her best in evening dress. She seemed to get it too clearly cut, there was
no ruffling. She always affected black and her shoulders were too classical. She seemed to stand out of her
corsage as a white marble bust might out of a black Wedgwood vase. I don't know.
I loved Leonora always and, today, I would very cheerfully lay down my life, what is left of it, in her service.
But I am sure I never had the beginnings of a trace of what is called the sex instinct towards her. And I
supposeno I am certain that she never had it towards me. As far as I am concerned I think it was those
white shoulders that did it. I seemed to feel when I looked at them that, if ever I should press my lips upon
them that they would be slightly coldnot icily, not without a touch of human heat, but, as they say of baths,
with the chill off. I seemed to feel chilled at the end of my lips when I looked at her . . .
No, Leonora always appeared to me at her best in a blue tailormade. Then her glorious hair wasn't deadened
by her white shoulders. Certain women's lines guide your eyes to their necks, their eyelashes, their lips, their
breasts. But Leonora's seemed to conduct your gaze always to her wrist. And the wrist was at its best in a
black or a dogskin glove and there was always a gold circlet with a little chain supporting a very small
golden key to a dispatch box. Perhaps it was that in which she locked up her heart and her feelings.
Anyhow, she sat down opposite me and then, for the first time, she paid any attention to my existence. She
gave me, suddenly, yet deliberately, one long stare. Her eyes too were blue and dark and the eyelids were so
arched that they gave you the whole round of the irises. And it was a most remarkable, a most moving glance,
as if for a moment a lighthouse had looked at me. I seemed to perceive the swift questions chasing each other
through the brain that was behind them. I seemed to hear the brain ask and the eyes answer with all the
simpleness of a woman who was a good hand at taking in qualities of a horseas indeed she was. "Stands
well; has plenty of room for his oats behind the girth. Not so much in the way of shoulders," and so on. And
so her eyes asked: "Is this man trustworthy in money matters; is he likely to try to play the lover; is he likely
to let his women be troublesome? Is he, above all, likely to babble about my affairs?"
And, suddenly, into those cold, slightly defiant, almost defensive china blue orbs, there came a warmth, a
tenderness, a friendly recognition . . . oh, it was very charming and very touchingand quite mortifying. It
was the look of a mother to her son, of a sister to her brother. It implied trust; it implied the want of any
necessity for barriers. By God, she looked at me as if I were an invalidas any kind woman may look at a
poor chap in a bath chair. And, yes, from that day forward she always treated me and not Florence as if I were
the invalid. Why, she would run after me with a rug upon chilly days. I suppose, therefore, that her eyes had
made a favourable answer. Or, perhaps, it wasn't a favourable answer. And then Florence said: "And so the
whole round table is begun." Again Edward Ashburnham gurgled slightly in his throat; but Leonora shivered
a little, as if a goose had walked over her grave. And I was passing her the nickelsilver basket of rolls.
Avanti! . . .
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IV
So began those nine years of uninterrupted tranquillity. They were characterized by an extraordinary want of
any communicativeness on the part of the Ashburnhams to which we, on our part, replied by leaving out quite
as extraordinarily, and nearly as completely, the personal note. Indeed, you may take it that what
characterized our relationship was an atmosphere of taking everything for granted. The given proposition
was, that we were all "good people." We took for granted that we all liked beef underdone but not too
underdone; that both men preferred a good liqueur brandy after lunch; that both women drank a very light
Rhine wine qualified with Fachingen waterthat sort of thing. It was also taken for granted that we were
both sufficiently well off to afford anything that we could reasonably want in the way of amusements fitting
to our stationthat we could take motor cars and carriages by the day; that we could give each other dinners
and dine our friends and we could indulge if we liked in economy. Thus, Florence was in the habit of having
the Daily Telegraph sent to her every day from London. She was always an Anglomaniac, was Florence; the
Paris edition of the New York Herald was always good enough for me. But when we discovered that the
Ashburnhams' copy of the London paper followed them from England, Leonora and Florence decided
between them to suppress one subscription one year and the other the next. Similarly it was the habit of the
Grand Duke of Nassau Schwerin, who came yearly to the baths, to dine once with about eighteen families of
regular Kur guests. In return he would give a dinner of all the eighteen at once. And, since these dinners were
rather expensive (you had to take the Grand Duke and a good many of his suite and any members of the
diplomatic bodies that might be there)Florence and Leonora, putting their heads together, didn't see why
we shouldn't give the Grand Duke his dinner together. And so we did. I don't suppose the Serenity minded
that economy, or even noticed it. At any rate, our joint dinner to the Royal Personage gradually assumed the
aspect of a yearly function. Indeed, it grew larger and larger, until it became a sort of closing function for the
season, at any rate as far as we were concerned.
I don't in the least mean to say that we were the sort of persons who aspired to mix "with royalty." We didn't;
we hadn't any claims; we were just "good people." But the Grand Duke was a pleasant, affable sort of royalty,
like the late King Edward VII, and it was pleasant to hear him talk about the races and, very occasionally, as
a bonne bouche, about his nephew, the Emperor; or to have him pause for a moment in his walk to ask after
the progress of our cures or to be benignantly interested in the amount of money we had put on Lelöffel's
hunter for the Frankfurt Welter Stakes.
But upon my word, I don't know how we put in our time. How does one put in one's time? How is it possible
to have achieved nine years and to have nothing whatever to show for it? Nothing whatever, you understand.
Not so much as a bone penholder, carved to resemble a chessman and with a hole in the top through which
you could see four views of Nauheim. And, as for experience, as for knowledge of one's fellow
beingsnothing either. Upon my word, I couldn't tell you offhand whether the lady who sold the so
expensive violets at the bottom of the road that leads to the station, was cheating me or no; I can't say whether
the porter who carried our traps across the station at Leghorn was a thief or no when he said that the regular
tariff was a lira a parcel. The instances of honesty that one comes across in this world are just as amazing as
the instances of dishonesty. After fortyfive years of mixing with one's kind, one ought to have acquired the
habit of being able to know something about one's fellow beings. But one doesn't.
I think the modern civilized habitthe modern English habit of taking every one for grantedis a good deal
to blame for this. I have observed this matter long enough to know the queer, subtle thing that it is; to know
how the faculty, for what it is worth, never lets you down.
Mind, I am not saying that this is not the most desirable type of life in the world; that it is not an almost
unreasonably high standard. For it is really nauseating, when you detest it, to have to eat every day several
slices of thin, tepid, pink india rubber, and it is disagreeable to have to drink brandy when you would prefer
to be cheered up by warm, sweet Kümmel. And it is nasty to have to take a cold bath in the morning when
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what you want is really a hot one at night. And it stirs a little of the faith of your fathers that is deep down
within you to have to have it taken for granted that you are an Episcopalian when really you are an
oldfashioned Philadelphia Quaker.
But these things have to be done; it is the cock that the whole of this society owes to Æsculapius.
And the odd, queer thing is that the whole collection of rules applies to anybodyto the anybodies that you
meet in hotels, in railway trains, to a less degree, perhaps, in steamers, but even, in the end, upon steamers.
You meet a man or a woman and, from tiny and intimate sounds, from the slightest of movements, you know
at once whether you are concerned with good people or with those who won't do. You know, this is to say,
whether they will go rigidly through with the whole programme from the underdone beef to the Anglicanism.
It won't matter whether they be short or tall; whether the voice squeak like a marionette or rumble like a town
bull's; it won't matter whether they are Germans, Austrians, French, Spanish, or even Brazilians they will
be the Germans or Brazilians who take a cold bath every morning and who move, roughly speaking, in
diplomatic circles.
But the inconvenientwell, hang it all, I will say itthe damnable nuisance of the whole thing is, that with
all the taking for granted, you never really get an inch deeper than the things I have catalogued.
I can give you a rather extraordinary instance of this. I can't remember whether it was in our first yearthe
first year of us four at Nauheim, because, of course, it would have been the fourth year of Florence and
myselfbut it must have been in the first or second year. And that gives the measure at once of the
extraordinariness of our discussion and of the swiftness with which intimacy had grown up between us. On
the one hand we seemed to start out on the expedition so naturally and with so little preparation, , that it was
as if we must have made many such excursions before; and our intimacy seemed so deep. . . .
Yet the place to which we went was obviously one to which Florence at least would have wanted to take us
quite early, so that you would almost think we should have gone there together at the beginning of our
intimacy. Florence was singularly expert as a guide to archaeological expeditions and there was nothing she
liked so much as taking people round ruins and showing you the window from which some one looked down
upon the murder of some one else. She only did it once; but she did it quite magnificently. She could find her
way, with the sole help of Baedeker, as easily about any old monument as she could about any American city
where the blocks are all square and the streets all numbered, so that you can go perfectly easily from
Twentyfourth to Thirtieth.
Now it happens that fifty minutes away from Nauheim, by a good train, is the ancient city of M, upon a
great pinnacle of basalt, girt with a triple road running sideways up its shoulder like a scarf. And at the top
there is a castlenot a square castle like Windsor, but a castle all slate gables and high peaks with gilt
weathercocks flashing bravelythe castle of St Elizabeth of Hungary. It has the disadvantage of being in
Prussia; and it is always disagreeable to go into that country; but it is very old and there are many
doublespired churches and it stands up like a pyramid out of the green valley of the Lahn. I don't suppose
the Ashburnhams wanted especially to go there and I didn't especially want to go there myself. But, you
understand, there was no objection. It was part of the cure to make an excursion three or four times a week.
So that we were all quite unanimous in being grateful to Florence for providing the motive power. Florence,
of course, had a motive of her own. She was at that time engaged in educating Captain Ashburnhamoh, of
course, quite pour le bon motif! She used to say to Leonora: "I simply can't understand how you can let him
live by your side and be so ignorant!" Leonora herself always struck me as being remarkably well educated.
At any rate, she knew beforehand all that Florence had to tell her. Perhaps she got it up out of Baedeker
before Florence was up in the morning. I don't mean to say that you would ever have known that Leonora
knew anything, but if Florence started to tell us how Ludwig the Courageous wanted to have three wives at
oncein which he differed from Henry VIII, who wanted them one after the other, and this caused a good
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deal of troubleif Florence started to tell us this, Leonora would just nod her head in a way that quite
pleasantly rattled my poor wife.
She used to exclaim: "Well, if you knew it, why haven't you told it all already to Captain Ashburnham? I'm
sure he finds it interesting!" And Leonora would look reflectively at her husband and say: "I have an idea that
it might injure his handthe hand, you know, used in connection with horses' mouths. . . ." And poor
Ashburnham would blush and mutter and would say: "That's all right. Don't you bother about me."
I fancy his wife's irony did quite alarm poor Teddy; because one evening he asked me seriously in the
smokingroom if I thought that having too much in one's head would really interfere with one's quickness in
polo. It struck him, he said, that brainy Johnnies generally were rather muffs when they got on to four legs. I
reassured him as best I could. I told him that he wasn't likely to take in enough to upset his balance. At that
time the Captain was quite evidently enjoying being educated by Florence. She used to do it about three or
four times a week under the approving eyes of Leonora and myself. It wasn't, you understand, systematic. It
came in bursts. It was Florence clearing up one of the dark places of the earth, leaving the world a little
lighter than she had found it. She would tell him the story of Hamlet; explain the form of a symphony,
humming the first and second subjects to him, and so on; she would explain to him the difference between
Arminians and Erastians; or she would give him a short lecture on the early history of the United States. And
it was done in a way well calculated to arrest a young attention. Did you ever read Mrs Markham? Well, it
was like that. . . .
But our excursion to M was a much larger, a much more full dress affair. You see, in the archives of the
Schloss in that city there was a document which Florence thought would finally give her the chance to
educate the whole lot of us together. It really worried poor Florence that she couldn't, in matters of culture,
ever get the better of Leonora. I don't know what Leonora knew or what she didn't know, but certainly she
was always there whenever Florence brought out any information. And she gave, somehow, the impression of
really knowing what poor Florence gave the impression of having only picked up. I can't exactly define it. It
was almost something physical. Have you ever seen a retriever dashing in play after a greyhound? You see
the two running over a green field, almost side by side, and suddenly the retriever makes a friendly snap at
the other. And the greyhound simply isn't there. You haven't observed it quicken its speed or strain a limb;
but there it is, just two yards in front of the retriever's outstretched muzzle. So it was with Florence and
Leonora in matters of culture.
But on this occasion I knew that something was up. I found Florence some days before, reading books like
Ranke's History of the Popes, Symonds' Renaissance, Motley's Rise of the Dutch Republic and Luther's Table
Talk.
I must say that, until the astonishment came, I got nothing but pleasure out of the little expedition. I like
catching the twoforty; I like the slow, smooth roll of the great big trainsand they are the best trains in the
world! I like being drawn through the green country and looking at it through the clear glass of the great
windows. Though, of course, the country isn't really green. The sun shines, the earth is blood red and purple
and red and green and red. And the oxen in the ploughlands are bright varnished brown and black and
blackish purple; and the peasants are dressed in the black and white of magpies; and there are great Rocks of
magpies too. Or the peasants' dresses in another field where there are little mounds of hay that will be
greygreen on the sunny side and purple in the shadowsthe peasants' dresses are vermilion with emerald
green ribbons and purple skirts and white shirts and black velvet stomachers. Still, the impression is that you
are drawn through brilliant green meadows that run away on each side to the dark purple firwoods; the
basalt pinnacles; the immense forests. And there is meadowsweet at the edge of the streams, and cattle. Why,
I remember on that afternoon I saw a brown cow hitch its horns under the stomach of a black and white
animal and the black and white one was thrown right into the middle of a narrow stream. I burst out laughing.
But Florence was imparting information so hard and Leonora was listening so intently that no one noticed
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me. As for me, I was pleased to be off duty; I was pleased to think that Florence for the moment was
indubitably out of mischiefbecause she was talking about Ludwig the Courageous (I think it was Ludwig
the Courageous but I am not an historian) about Ludwig the Courageous of Hessen who wanted to have three
wives at once and patronized Luthersomething like that!I was so relieved to be off duty, because she
couldn't possibly be doing anything to excite herself or set her poor heart aflutteringthat the incident of
the cow was a real joy to me. I chuckled over it from time to time for the whole rest of the day. Because it
does look very funny, you know, to see a black and white cow land on its back in the middle of a stream. It is
so just exactly what one doesn't expect of a cow.
I suppose I ought to have pitied the poor animal; but I just didn't. I was out for enjoyment. And I just enjoyed
myself. It is so pleasant to be drawn along in front of the spectacular towns with the peaked castles and the
many double spires. In the sunlight gleams come from the citygleams from the glass of windows; from the
gilt signs of apothecaries; from the ensigns of the student corps high up in the mountains; from the helmets of
the funny little soldiers moving their stiff little legs in white linen trousers. And it was pleasant to get out in
the great big spectacular Prussian station with the hammered bronze ornaments and the paintings of peasants
and flowers and cows; and to hear Florence bargain energetically with the driver of an ancient droschka
drawn by two lean horses. Of course, I spoke German much more correctly than Florence, though I never
could rid myself quite of the accent of the Pennsylvania Duitsch of my childhood. Anyhow, we were drawn
in a sort of triumph, for five marks without any trinkgeld, right up to the castle. And we were taken through
the museum and saw the firebacks, the old glass, the old swords and the antique contraptions. And we went
up winding corkscrew staircases and through the Rittersaal, the great painted hall where the Reformer and his
friends met for the first time under the protection of the gentleman that had three wives at once and formed an
alliance with the gentleman that had six wives, one after the other (I'm not really interested in these facts but
they have a bearing on my story). And we went through chapels, and music rooms, right up immensely high
in the air to a large old chamber, full of presses, with heavilyshuttered windows all round. And Florence
became positively electric. She told the tired, bored custodian what shutters to open; so that the bright
sunlight streamed in palpable shafts into the dim old chamber. She explained that this was Luther's bedroom
and that just where the sunlight fell had stood his bed. As a matter of fact, I believe that she was wrong and
that Luther only stopped, as it were, for lunch, in order to evade pursuit. But, no doubt, it would have been
his bedroom if he could have been persuaded to stop the night. And then, in spite of the protest of the
custodian, she threw open another shutter and came tripping back to a large glass case.
"And there," she exclaimed with an accent of gaiety, of triumph, and of audacity. She was pointing at a piece
of paper, like the halfsheet of a letter with some faint pencil scrawls that might have been a jotting of the
amounts we were spending during the day. And I was extremely happy at her gaiety, in her triumph, in her
audacity. Captain Ashburnham had his hands upon the glass case. "There it isthe Protest." And then, as we
all properly stagemanaged our bewilderment, she continued: "Don't you know that is why we were all called
Protestants? That is the pencil draft of the Protest they drew up. You can see the signatures of Martin Luther,
and Martin Bucer, and Zwingli, and Ludwig the Courageous. . . ."
I may have got some of the names wrong, but I know that Luther and Bucer were there. And her animation
continued and I was glad. She was better and she was out of mischief. She continued, looking up into Captain
Ashburnham's eyes: "It's because of that piece of paper that you're honest, sober, industrious, provident, and
cleanlived. If it weren't for that piece of paper you'd be like the Irish or the Italians or the Poles, but
particularly the Irish. . . ."
And she laid one finger upon Captain Ashburnham' s wrist.
I was aware of something treacherous, something frightful, something evil in the day. I can't define it and
can't find a simile for it. It wasn't as if a snake had looked out of a hole. No, it was as if my heart had missed a
beat. It was as if we were going to run and cry out; all four of us in separate directions, averting our heads. In
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Ashburnham's face I know that there was absolute panic. I was horribly frightened and then I discovered that
the pain in my left wrist was caused by Leonora's clutching it:
"I can't stand this," she said with a most extraordinary passion; "I must get out of this."
I was horribly frightened. It came to me for a moment, though I hadn't time to think it, that she must be a
madly jealous womanjealous of Florence and Captain Ashburnham, of all people in the world! And it was
a panic in which we fled! We went right down the winding stairs, across the immense Rittersaal to a little
terrace that overlooks the Lahn, the broad valley and the immense plain into which it opens out.
"Don't you see?" she said, "don't you see what's going on?" The panic again stopped my heart. I muttered, I
stutteredI don't know how I got the words out:
"No! What's the matter? Whatever's the matter?"
She looked me straight in the eyes; and for a moment I had the feeling that those two blue discs were
immense, were overwhelming, were like a wall of blue that shut me off from the rest of the world. I know it
sounds absurd; but that is what it did feel like.
"Don't you see," she said, with a really horrible bitterness, with a really horrible lamentation in her voice,
"Don't you see that that's the cause of the whole miserable affair; of the whole sorrow of the world? And of
the eternal damnation of you and me and them. . . ."
I don't remember how she went on; I was too frightened; I was too amazed. I think I was thinking of running
to fetch assistancea doctor, perhaps, or Captain Ashburnham. Or possibly she needed Florence's tender
care, though, of course, it would have been very bad for Florence's heart. But I know that when I came out of
it she was saying: "Oh, where are all the bright, happy, innocent beings in the world? Where's happiness?
One reads of it in books!"
She ran her hand with a singular clawing motion upwards over her forehead. Her eyes were enormously
distended; her face was exactly that of a person looking into the pit of hell and seeing horrors there. And then
suddenly she stopped. She was, most amazingly, just Mrs Ashburnham again. Her face was perfectly clear,
sharp and defined; her hair was glorious in its golden coils. Her nostrils twitched with a sort of contempt. She
appeared to look with interest at a gypsy caravan that was coming over a little bridge far below us.
"Don't you know," she said, in her clear hard voice, "don't you know that I'm an Irish Catholic?"
V
THOSE words gave me the greatest relief that I have ever had in my life. They told me, I think, almost more
than I have ever gathered at any one momentabout myself. I don't think that before that day I had ever
wanted anything very much except Florence. I have, of course, had appetites, impatiences . . . Why,
sometimes at a table d'hôte, when there would be, say, caviare handed round, I have been absolutely full of
impatience for fear that when the dish came to me there should not be a satisfying portion left over by the
other guests. I have been exceedingly impatient at missing trains. The Belgian State Railway has a trick of
letting the French trains miss their connections at Brussels. That has always infuriated me. I have written
about it letters to The Times that The Times never printed; those that I wrote to the Paris edition of the New
York Herald were always printed, but they never seemed to satisfy me when I saw them. Well, that was a sort
of frenzy with me.
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It was a frenzy that now I can hardly realize. I can understand it intellectually. You see, in those days I was
interested in people with "hearts." There was Florence, there was Edward Ashburnhamor, perhaps, it was
Leonora that I was more interested in. I don't mean in the way of love. But, you see, we were both of the.
same professionat any rate as I saw it. And the profession was that of keeping heart patients alive.
You have no idea how engrossing such a profession may become. Just as the blacksmith says: "By hammer
and hand all Art doth stand," just as the baker thinks that all the solar system revolves around his morning
delivery of rolls, as the postmastergeneral believes that he alone is the preserver of societyand surely,
surely, these delusions are necessary to keep us goingso did I and, as I believed, Leonora, imagine that the
whole world ought to be arranged so as to ensure the keeping alive of heart patients. You have no idea how
engrossing such a profession may becomehow imbecile, in view of that engrossment, appear the ways of
princes, of republics, of municipalities. A rough bit of road beneath the motor tyres, a couple of succeeding
"thank'eemarms" with their quick jolts would be enough to set me grumbling to Leonora against the Prince
or the Grand Duke or the Free City through whose territory we might be passing. I would grumble like a
stockbroker whose conversations over the telephone are incommoded by the ringing of bells from a city
church. I would talk about medieval survivals, about the taxes being surely high enough. The point, by the
way, about the missing of the connections of the Calais boat trains at Brussels was that the shortest possible
sea journey is frequently of great importance to sufferers from the heart. Now, on the Continent, there are two
special heart cure places, Nauheim and Spa, and to reach both of these baths from England if in order to
ensure a short sea passage, you come by Calaisyou have to make the connection at Brussels. And the
Belgian train never waits by so much the shade of a second for the one coming from Calais or from Paris.
And even if the French train, are just on time, you have to runimagine a heart patient running! along the
unfamiliar ways of the Brussels station and to scramble up the high steps of the moving train. Or, if you miss
connection, you have to wait five or six hours. . . . I used to keep awake whole nights cursing that abuse.
My wife used to runshe never, in whatever else she may have misled me, tried to give me the impression
that she was not a gallant soul. But, once in the German Express, she would lean back, with one hand to her
side and her eyes closed. Well, she was a good actress. And I would be in hell. In hell, I tell you. For in
Florence I had at once a wife and an unattained mistressthat is what it comes toand in the retaining of
her in this world I had my occupation, my career, my ambition. It is not often that these things are united in
one body. Leonora was a good actress too. By Jove she was good! I tell you, she would listen to me by the
hour, evolving my plans for a shockproof world. It is true that, at times, I used to notice about her an air of
inattention as if she were listening, a mother, to the child at her knee, or as if, precisely, I were myself the
patient.
You understand that there was nothing the matter with Edward Ashburnham's heartthat he had thrown up
his commission and had left India and come half the world over in order to follow a woman who had really
had a "heart" to Nauheim. That was the sort of sentimental ass he was. For, you understand, too, that they
really needed to live in India, to economize, to let the house at Branshaw Teleragh.
Of course, at that date, I had never heard of the Kilsyte case. Ashburnham had, you know, kissed a servant
girl in a railway train, and it was only the grace of God, the prompt functioning of the communication cord
and the ready sympathy of what I believe you call the Hampshire Bench, that kept the poor devil out of
Winchester Gaol for years and years. I never heard of that case until the final stages of Leonora's revelations.
. . .
But just think of that poor wretch. . . . I, who have surely the right, beg you to think of that poor wretch. Is it
possible that such a luckless devil should be so tormented by blind and inscrutable destiny? For there is no
other way to think of it. None. I have the right to say it, since for years he was my wife's lover, since he killed
her, since he broke up all the pleasantnesses that there were in my life. There is no priest that has the right to
tell me that I must not ask pity for him, from you, silent listener beyond the hearthstone, from the world, or
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from the God who created in him those desires, those madnesses. . . .
Of course, I should not hear of the Kilsyte case. I knew none of their friends; they were for me just good
peoplefortunate people with broad and sunny acres in a southern county. Just good people! By heavens, I
sometimes think that it would have been better for him, poor dear, if the case had been such a one that I must
needs have heard of itsuch a one as maids and couriers and other Kur guests whisper about for years after,
until gradually it dies away in the pity that there is knocking about here and there in the world. Supposing he
had spent his seven years in Winchester Gaol or whatever it is that inscrutable and blind justice allots to you
for following your natural but illtimed inclinationsthere would have arrived a stage when nodding gossips
on the Kursaal terrace would have said, "Poor fellow," thinking of his ruined career. He would have been the
fine soldier with his back now bent. . . . Better for him, poor devil, if his back had been prematurely bent.
Why, it would have been a thousand times better. . . . For, of course, the Kilsyte case, which came at the very
beginning of his finding Leonora cold and unsympathetic, gave him a nasty jar. He left servants alone after
that.
It turned him, naturally, all the more loose amongst women of his own class. Why, Leonora told me that Mrs
Maidanthe woman he followed from Burma to Nauheimassured her he awakened her attention by
swearing that when he kissed the servant in the train he was driven to it. I daresay he was driven to it, by the
mad passion to find an ultimately satisfying woman. I daresay he was sincere enough. Heaven help me, I
daresay he was sincere enough in his love for Mrs Maidan. She was a nice little thing, a dear little dark
woman with long lashes, of whom Florence grew quite fond. She had a lisp and a happy smile. We saw
plenty of her for the first month of our acquaintance, then she died, quite quietlyof heart trouble.
But you know, poor little Mrs Maidanshe was so gentle, so young. She cannot have been more than
twentythree and she had a boy husband out in Chitral not more than twentyfour, I believe. Such young
things ought to have been left alone. Of course Ashburnham could not leave her alone. I do not believe that
he could. Why, even I, at this distance of time am aware that I am a little in love with her memory. I can't
help smiling when I think suddenly of heras you might at the thought of something wrapped carefully
away in lavender, in some drawer, in some old house that you have long left. She was soso submissive.
Why, even to me she had the air of being submissiveto me that not the youngest child will ever pay heed
to. Yes, this is the saddest story . . .
No, I cannot help wishing that Florence had left her alonewith her playing with adultery. I suppose it was;
though she was such a child that one has the impression that she would hardly have known how to spell such
a word. No, it was just submissivenessto the importunities, to the tempestuous forces that pushed that
miserable fellow on to ruin. And I do not suppose that Florence really made much difference. If it had not
been for her that Ashburnham left his allegiance for Mrs Maidan, then it would have been some other
woman. But still, I do not know. Perhaps the poor young thing would have diedshe was bound to die,
anyhow, quite soonbut she would have died without having to soak her noonday pillow with tears whilst
Florence, below the window, talked to Captain Ashburnham about the Constitution of the United States. . . .
Yes, it would have left a better taste in the mouth if Florence had let her die in peace. . . .
Leonora behaved better in a sense. She just boxed Mrs Maidan's earsyes, she hit her, in an uncontrollable
access of rage, a hard blow on the side of the cheek, in the corridor of the hotel, outside Edward's rooms. It
was that, you know, that accounted for the sudden, odd intimacy that sprang up between Florence and Mrs
Ashburnham.
Because it was, of course, an odd intimacy. If you look at it from the outside nothing could have been more
unlikely than that Leonora, who is the proudest creature on God's earth, would have struck up an
acquaintanceship with two casual Yankees whom she could not really have regarded as being much more
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than a carpet beneath her feet. You may ask what she had to be proud of. Well, she was a Powys married to
an AshburnhamI suppose that gave her the right to despise casual Americans as long as she did it
unostentatiously. I don't know what anyone has to be proud of. She might have taken pride in her patience, in
her keeping her husband out of the bankruptcy court. Perhaps she did.
At any rate that was how Florence got to know her. She came round a screen at the corner of the hotel
corridor and found Leonora with the gold key that hung from her wrist caught in Mrs Maidan's hair just
before dinner. There was not a single word spoken. Little Mrs Maidan was very pale, with a red mark down
her left cheek, and the key would not come out of her black hair. It was Florence who had to disentangle it,
for Leonora was in such a state that she could not have brought herself to touch Mrs Maidan without growing
sick.
And there was not a word spoken. You see, under those four eyesher own and Mrs Maidan'sLeonora
could just let herself go as far as to box Mrs Maidan's ears. But the moment a stranger came along she pulled
herself wonderfully up. She was at first silent and then, the moment the key was disengaged by Florence she
was in a state to say: "So awkward of me . . . I was just trying to put the comb straight in Mrs Maidan's hair. .
. ."
Mrs Maidan, however, was not a Powys married to an Ashburnham; she was a poor little O'Flaherty whose
husband was a boy of country parsonage origin. So there was no mistaking the sob she let go as she went
desolately away along the corridor. But Leonora was still going to play up. She opened the door of
Ashburnham's room quite ostentatiously, so that Florence should hear her address Edward in terms of
intimacy and liking. "Edward," she called. But there was no Edward there.
You understand that there was no Edward there. It was then, for the only time of her career, that Leonora
really compromised herselfShe exclaimed . . . "How frightful! . . . Poor little Maisie! . . ."
She caught herself up at that, but of course it was too late. It was a queer sort of affair. . . .
I want to do Leonora every justice. I love her very dearly for one thing and in this matter, which was certainly
the ruin of my small household cockleshell, she certainly tripped up. I do not believeand Leonora herself
does not believethat poor little Maisie Maidan was ever Edward's mistress. Her heart was really so bad that
she would have succumbed to anything like an impassioned embrace. That is the plain English of it, and I
suppose plain English is best. She was really what the other two, for reasons of their own, just pretended to
be. Queer, isn't it? Like one of those sinister jokes that Providence plays upon one. Add to this that I do not
suppose that Leonora would much have minded, at any other moment, if Mrs Maidan had been her husband's
mistress. It might have been a relief from Edward's sentimental gurglings over the lady and from the lady's
submissive acceptance of those sounds. No, she would not have minded.
But, in boxing Mrs Maidan's ears, Leonora was just striking the face of an intolerable universe. For, that
afternoon she had had a frightfully painful scene with Edward.
As far as his letters went, she claimed the right to open them when she chose. She arrogated to herself the
right because Edward's affairs were in such a frightful state and he lied so about them that she claimed the
privilege of having his secrets at her disposal. There was not, indeed, any other way, for the poor fool was too
ashamed of his lapses ever to make a clean breast of anything. She had to drag these things out of him.
It must have been a pretty elevating job for her. But that afternoon, Edward being on his bed for the hour and
a half prescribed by the Kur authorities, she had opened a letter that she took to come from a Colonel Hervey.
They were going to stay with him in Linlithgowshire for the month of September and she did not know
whether the date fixed would be the eleventh or the eighteenth. The address on this letter was, in handwriting,
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as like Colonel Hervey's as one blade of corn is like another. So she had at the moment no idea of spying on
him.
But she certainly was. For she discovered that Edward Ashburnham was paying a blackmailer of whom she
had never heard something like three hundred pounds a year . . . It was a devil of a blow; it was like death; for
she imagined that by that time she had really got to the bottom of her husband's liabilities. You see, they were
pretty heavy. What had really smashed them up had been a perfectly commonplace affair at Monte
Carloan affair with a cosmopolitan harpy who passed for the mistress of a Russian Grand Duke. She
exacted a twenty thousand pound pearl tiara from him as the price of her favours for a week or so. It would
have pipped him a good deal to have found so much, and he was not in the ordinary way a gambler. He
might, indeed, just have found the twenty thousand and the not slight charges of a week at an hotel with the
fair creature. He must have been worth at that date five hundred thousand dollars and a little over.
Well, he must needs go to the tables and lose forty thousand pounds. . . . Forty thousand solid pounds,
borrowed from sharks! And even after that he mustit was an imperative passionenjoy the favours of the
lady. He got them, of course, when it was a matter of solid bargaining, for far less than twenty thousand, as
he might, no doubt, have done from the first. I daresay ten thousand dollars covered the bill.
Anyhow, there was a pretty solid hole in a fortune of a hundred thousand pounds or so. And Leonora had to
fix things up; he would have run from moneylender to moneylender. And that was quite in the early days
of her discovery of his infidelitiesif you like to call them infidelities. And she discovered that one from
public sources. God knows what would have happened if she had not discovered it from public sources. I
suppose he would have concealed it from her until they were penniless. But she was able, by the grace of
God, to get hold of the actual lenders of the money, to learn the exact sums that were needed. And she went
off to England.
Yes, she went right off to England to her attorney and his while he was still in the arms of his Circeat
Antibes, to which place they had retired. He got sick of the lady quite quickly, but not before Leonora had
had such lessons in the art of business from her attorney that she had her plan as clearly drawn up as was ever
that of General Trochu for keeping the Prussians out of Paris in 1870. It was about as effectual at first, or it
seemed so.
That would have been, you know, in 1895, about nine years before the date of which I am talkingthe date
of Florence's getting her hold over Leonora; for that was what it amounted to. . . . Well, Mrs Ashburnham had
simply forced Edward to settle all his property upon her. She could force him to do anything; in his clumsy,
goodnatured, inarticulate way he was as frightened of her as of the devil. And he admired her enormously,
and he was as fond of her as any man could be of any woman. She took advantage of it to treat him as if he
had been a person whose estates are being managed by the Court of Bankruptcy. I suppose it was the best
thing for him.
Anyhow, she had no end of a job for the first three years or so. Unexpected liabilities kept on cropping
upand that afflicted fool did not make it any easier. You see, along with the passion of the chase went a
frame of mind that made him be extraordinarily ashamed of himself. You may not believe it, but he really had
such a sort of respect for the chastity of Leonora's imagination that he hatedhe was positively revolted at
the thought that she should know that the sort of thing that he did existed in the world. So he would stick out
in an agitated way against the accusation of ever having done anything. He wanted to preserve the virginity of
his wife's thoughts. He told me that himself during the long walks we had at the lastwhile the girl was on
the way to Brindisi.
So, of course, for those three years or so, Leonora had many agitations. And it was then that they really
quarrelled.
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Yes, they quarrelled bitterly. That seems rather extravagant. You might have thought that Leonora would be
just calmly loathing and he lachrymosely contrite. But that was not it a bit . . . Along with Edward's passions
and his shame for them went the violent conviction of the duties of his stationa conviction that was quite
unreasonably expensive. I trust I have not, in talking of his liabilities, given the impression that poor Edward
was a promiscuous libertine. He was not; he was a sentimentalist. The servant girl in the Kilsyte case had
been pretty, but mournful of appearance. I think that, when he had kissed her, he had desired rather to
comfort her. And, if she had succumbed to his blandishments I daresay he would have set her up in a little
house in Portsmouth or Winchester and would have been faithful to her for four or five years. He was quite
capable of that.
No, the only two of his affairs of the heart that cost him money were that of the Grand Duke's mistress and
that which was the subject of the blackmailing letter that Leonora opened. That had been a quite passionate
affair with quite a nice woman. It had succeeded the one with the Grand Ducal lady. The lady was the wife of
a brother officer and Leonora had known all about the passion, which had been quite a real passion and had
lasted for several years. You see, poor Edward's passions were quite logical in their progression upwards.
They began with a servant, went on to a courtesan and then to a quite nice woman, very unsuitably mated.
For she had a quite nasty husband who, by means of letters and things, went on blackmailing poor Edward to
the tune of three or four hundred a yearwith threats of the Divorce Court. And after this lady came Maisie
Maidan, and after poor Maisie only one more affair and thenthe real passion of his life. His marriage with
Leonora had been arranged by his parents and, though he always admired her immensely, he had hardly ever
pretended to be much more than tender to her, though he desperately needed her moral support, too. . . .
But his really trying liabilities were mostly in the nature of generosities proper to his station. He was,
according to Leonora, always remitting his tenants' rents and giving the tenants to understand that the
reduction would be permanent; he was always redeeming drunkards who came before his magisterial bench;
he was always trying to put prostitutes into respectable placesand he was a perfect maniac about children. I
don't know how many illused people he did not pick up and provide with careersLeonora has told me, but
I daresay she exaggerated and the figure seems so preposterous that I will not put it down. All these things,
and the continuance of them seemed to him to be his dutyalong with impossible subscriptions to hospitals
and Boy Scouts and to provide prizes at cattle shows and antivivisection societies. . . .
Well, Leonora saw to it that most of these things were not continued. They could not possibly keep up
Branshaw Manor at that rate after the money had gone to the Grand Duke's mistress. She put the rents back at
their old figures; discharged the drunkards from their homes, and sent all the societies notice that they were to
expect no more subscriptions. To the children, she was more tender; nearly all of them she supported till the
age of apprenticeship or domestic service. You see, she was childless herself.
She was childless herself, and she considered herself to be to blame. She had come of a penniless branch of
the Powys family, and they had forced upon her poor dear Edward without making the stipulation that the
children should be brought up as Catholics. And that, of course, was spiritual death to Leonora. I have given
you a wrong impression if I have not made you see that Leonora was a woman of a strong, cold conscience,
like all English Catholics. (I cannot, myself, help disliking this religion; there is always, at the bottom of my
mind, in spite of Leonora, the feeling of shuddering at the Scarlet Woman, that filtered in upon me in the
tranquility of the little old Friends' Meeting House in Arch Street, Philadelphia.) So I do set down a good deal
of Leonora's mismanagement of poor dear Edward's case to the peculiarly English form of her religion.
Because, of course, the only thing to have done for Edward would have been to let him sink down until he
became a tramp of gentlemanly address, having, maybe, chance love affairs upon the highways. He would
have done so much less harm; he would have been much less agonized too. At any rate, he would have had
fewer chances of ruining and of remorse. For Edward was great at remorse.
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But Leonora's English Catholic conscience, her rigid principles, her coldness, even her very patience, were, I
cannot help thinking, all wrong in this special case. She quite seriously and naïvely imagined that the Church
of Rome disapproves of divorce; she quite seriously and naïvely believed that her church could be such a
monstrous and imbecile institution as to expect her to take on the impossible job of making Edward
Ashburnham a faithful husband. She had, as the English would say, the Nonconformist temperament. In the
United States of North America we call it the New England conscience. For, of course, that frame of mind
has been driven in on the English Catholics. The centuries that they have gone throughcenturies of blind
and malignant oppression, of ostracism from public employment, of being, as it were, a small beleagured
garrison in a hostile country, and therefore having to act with great formalityall these things have
combined to perform that conjuring trick. And I suppose that Papists in England are even technically
Nonconformists.
Continental Papists are a dirty, jovial and unscrupulous crew. But that, at least, lets them be opportunists.
They would have fixed poor dear Edward up all right. (Forgive my writing of these monstrous things in this
frivolous manner. If I did not I should break down and cry.) In Milan, say, or in Paris, Leonora would have
had her marriage dissolved in six months for two hundred dollars paid in the right quarter. And Edward
would have drifted about until he became a tramp of the kind I have suggested. Or he would have married a
barmaid who would have made him such frightful scenes in public places and would so have torn out his
moustache and left visible signs upon his face that he would have been faithful to her for the rest of his days.
That was what he wanted to redeem him. . . .
For, along with his passions and his shames there went the dread of scenes in public places, of outcry, of
excited physical violence; of publicity, in short. Yes, the barmaid would have cured him. And it would have
been all the better if she drank; he would have been kept busy looking after her.
I know that I am right in this. I know it because of the Kilsyte case. You see, the servant girl that he then
kissed was nurse in the family of the Nonconformist head of the countywhatever that post may be called.
And that gentleman was so determined to ruin Edward, who was the chairman of the Tory caucus, or
whatever it isthat the poor dear sufferer had the very devil of a time. They asked questions about it in the
House of Commons; they tried to get the Hampshire magistrates degraded; they suggested to the War
Ministry that Edward was not the proper person to hold the King's commission. Yes, he got it hot and strong.
The result you have heard. He was completely cured of philandering amongst the lower classes. And that
seemed a real blessing to Leonora. It did not revolt her so much to be connectedit is a sort of
connectionwith people like Mrs Maidan, instead of with a little kitchenmaid.
In a dim sort of way, Leonora was almost contented when she arrived at Nauheim, that evening. . . .
She had got things nearly straight by the long years of scraping in little stations in Chitral and
Burmastations where living is cheap in comparison with the life of a county magnate, and where,
moreover, liaisons of one sort or another are normal and inexpensive too. So that, when Mrs Maidan came
alongand the Maidan affair might have caused trouble out there because of the youth of the
husbandLeonora had just resigned herself to coming home. With pushing and scraping and with letting
Branshaw Teleragh, and with selling a picture and a relic of Charles I or so. had gotand, poor dear, she had
never had a really decent dress to her back in all those years and yearsshe had got, as she imagined, her
poor dear husband back into much the same financial position as had been his before the mistress of the
Grand Duke had happened along. And, of course, Edward himself had helped her a little on the financial side.
He was a fellow that many men liked. He was so presentable and quite ready to lend you his cigar
puncherthat sort of thing. So, every now and then some financier whom he met about would give him a
good, sound, profitable tip. And Leonora was never afraid of a bit of a gambleEnglish Papists seldom are, I
do not know why.
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So nearly all her investment turned up trumps, and Edward was really in fit case to reopen Branshaw Manor
and once more to assume his position in the county. Thus Leonora had accepted Maisie Maidan almost with
resignationalmost with a sigh of relief. She really liked the poor childshe had to like somebody. And, at
any rate, she felt she could trust Maisieshe could trust her not to rook Edward for several thousands a
week, for Maisie had refused to accept so much as a trinket ring from him. It is true that Edward gurgled and
raved about the girl in a way that she had never yet experienced. But that, too, was almost a relief. I think she
would really have welcomed it if he could have come across the love of his life. It would have given her a
rest.
And there could not have been anyone better than poor little Mrs Maidan; she was so ill she could not want to
be taken on expensive jaunts. . . . It was Leonora herself who paid Maisie's expenses to Nauheim. She handed
over the money to the boy husband, for Maisie would never have allowed it; but the husband was in agonies
of fear. Poor devil!
I fancy that, on the voyage from India, Leonora was as happy as ever she had been in her life. Edward was
wrapped up, completely, in his girlhe was almost like a father with a child, trotting about with rugs and
physic and things, from deck to deck. He behaved, however, with great circumspection, so that nothing
leaked through to the other passengers. And Leonora had almost attained to the attitude of a mother towards
Mrs Maidan. So it had looked very wellthe benevolent, wealthy couple of good people, acting as saviours
to the poor, darkeyed, dying young thing. And that attitude of Leonora's towards Mrs Maidan no doubt
partly accounted for the smack in the face. She was hitting a naughty child who had been stealing chocolates
at an inopportune moment.
It was certainly an inopportune moment. For, with the opening of that blackmailing letter from that injured
brother officer, all the old terrors had redescended upon Leonora. Her road had again seemed to stretch out
endless; she imagined that there might be hundreds and hundreds of such things that Edward was concealing
from herthat they might necessitate more mortgagings, more pawnings of bracelets, more and always more
horrors. She had spent an excruciating afternoon. The matter was one of a divorce case, of course, and she
wanted to avoid publicity as much as Edward did, so that she saw the necessity of continuing the payments.
And she did not so much mind that. They could find three hundred a year. But it was the horror of there being
more such obligations.
She had had no conversation with Edward for many yearsnone that went beyond the mere arrangements
for taking trains or engaging servants. But that afternoon she had to let him have it. And he had been just the
same as ever. It was like opening a book after a decade to find the words the same. He had the same motives.
He had not wished to tell her about the case because he had not wished her to sully her mind with the idea
that there was such a thing as a brother officer who could be a blackmailerand he had wanted to protect the
credit of his old light of love. That lady was certainly not concerned with her husband. And he swore, and
swore, and swore, that there was nothing else in the world against him. She did not believe him.
He had done it once too oftenand she was wrong for the first time, so that he acted a rather creditable part
in the matter. For he went right straight out to the postoffice and spent several hours in coding a telegram to
his solicitor, bidding that hardheaded man to threaten to take out at once a warrant against the fellow who
was on his track. He said afterwards that it was a bit too thick on poor old Leonora to be ballyragged any
more. That was really the last of his outstanding accounts, and he was ready to take his personal chance of the
Divorce Court if the blackmailer turned nasty. He would face it outthe publicity, the papers, the whole
bally show. Those were his simple words. . . .
He had made, however, the mistake of not telling Leonora where he was going, so that, having seen him go to
his room to fetch the code for the telegram, and seeing, two hours later, Maisie Maidan come out of his room,
Leonora imagined that the two hours she had spent in silent agony Edward had spent with Maisie Maidan in
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his arms. That seemed to her to be too much.
As a matter of fact, Maisie's being in Edward's room had been the result, partly of poverty, partly of pride,
partly of sheer innocence. She could not, in the first place, afford a maid; she refrained as much as possible
from sending the hotel servants on errands, since every penny was of importance to her, and she feared to
have to pay high tips at the end of her stay. Edward had lent her one of his fascinating cases contaiing fifteen
different sizes of scisssors, and, having seen from her window, his departure for the postoffice, she had
taken the opportunity of returning the case. She could not see why she should not, though she felt a certain
remorse at the thought that she had kissed the pillows of his bed. That was the way it took her.
But Leonora could see that, without the shadow of a doubt, the incident gave Florence a hold over her. It let
Florence into things and Florence was the only created being who had any idea that the Ashburnhams were
not just good people with nothing to their tails. She determined at once, not so much to give Florence the
privilege of her intimacywhich would have been the payment of a kind of blackmailas to keep Florence
under observation until she could have demonstrated to Florence that she was not in the least jealous of poor
Maisie. So that was why she had entered the diningroom arm in arm with my wife, and why she had so
markedly planted herself at our table. She never left us, indeed, for a minute that night, except just to run up
to Mrs Maidan's room to beg her pardon and to beg her also to let Edward take her very markedly out into the
gardens that night. She said herself, when Mrs Maidan came rather wistfully down into the lounge where we
were all sitting: "Now, Edward, get up and take Maisie to the Casino. I want Mrs Dowell to tell me all about
the families in Connecticut who came from Fordingbridge." For it had been discovered that Florence came of
a line that had actually owned Branshaw Teleragh for two centuries before the Ashburnhams came there. And
there she sat with me in that hall, long after Florence had gone to bed, so that I might witness her gay
reception of that pair. She could play up.
And that enables me to fix exactly the day of our going to the town of M. For it was the very day poor
Mrs Maidan died. We found her dead when we got backpretty awful, that, when you come to figure out
what it all means. . . .
At any rate the measure of my relief when Leonora said that she was an Irish Catholic gives you the measure
of my affection for that couple. It was an affection so intense that even to this day I cannot think of Edward
without sighing. I do not believe that I could have gone on any more with them. I was getting too tired. And I
verily believe, too, if my suspicion that Leonora was jealous of Florence had been the reason she gave for her
outburst I should have turned upon Florence with the maddest kind of rage. Jealousy would have been
incurable. But Florence's mere silly jibes at the Irish and at the Catholics could be apologized out of
existence. And that I appeared to fix up in two minutes or so.
She looked at me for a long time rather fixedly and queerly while I was doing it. And at last I worked myself
up to saying:
"Do accept the situation. I confess that I do not like your religion. But I like you so intensely. I don't mind
saying that I have never had anyone to be really fond of, and I do not believe that anyone has ever been fond
of me, as I believe you really to be."
"Oh, I'm fond enough of you," she said. "Fond enough to say that I wish every man was like you. But there
are others to be considered." She was thinking, as a matter of fact, of poor Maisie. She picked a little piece of
pellitory out of the breasthigh wall in front of us. She chafed it for a long minute between her finger and
thumb, then she threw it over the coping.
"Oh, I accept the situation," she said at last, "if you can."
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VI
I REMEMBER laughing at the phrase, "accept the situation", which she seemed to repeat with a gravity too
intense. I said to her something like:
"It's hardly as much as that. I mean, that I must claim the liberty of a free American citizen to think what I
please about your coreligionists. And I suppose that Florence must have liberty to think what she pleases
and to say what politeness allows her to say."
"She had better," Leonora answered, "not say one single word against my people or my faith."
It struck me at the time, that there was an unusual, an almost threatening, hardness in her voice. It was almost
as if she were trying to convey to Florence, through me, that she would seriously harm my wife if Florence
went to something that was an extreme. Yes, I remember thinking at the time that it was almost as if Leonora
were saying, through me to Florence:
"You may outrage me as you will; you may take all that I personally possess, but do not you care to say one
single thing in view of the situation that that will set upagainst the faith that makes me become the
doormat for your feet."
But obviously, as I saw it, that could not be her meaning. Good people, be they ever so diverse in creed, do
not threaten each other. So that I read Leonora's words to mean just no more than:
"It would be better if Florence said nothing at all against my coreligionists, because it is a point that I am
touchy about."
That was the hint that, accordingly, I conveyed to Florence when, shortly afterwards, she and Edward came
down from the tower. And I want you to understand that, from that moment until after Edward and the girl
and Florence were all dead together, I had never the remotest glimpse, not the shadow of a suspicion, that
there was anything wrong, as the saying is. For five minutes, then, I entertained the possibility that Leonora
might be jealous; but there was never another flicker in that flamelike personality. How in the world should
I get it?
For, all that time, I was just a male sick nurse. And what chance had I against those three hardened gamblers,
who were all in league to conceal their hands from me? What earthly chance? They were three to oneand
they made me happy. Oh God, they made me so happy that I doubt if even paradise, that shall smooth out all
temporal wrongs, shall ever give me the like. And what could they have done better, or what could they have
done that could have been worse? I don't know. . . .
I suppose that, during all that time I was a deceived husband and that Leonora was pimping for Edward. That
was the cross that she had to take up during her long Calvary of a life. . . .
You ask how it feels to be a deceived husband. Just Heavens, I do not know. It feels just nothing at all. It is
not Hell, certainly it is not necessarily Heaven. So I suppose it is the intermediate stage. What do they call it?
Limbo. No, I feel nothing at all about that. They are dead; they have gone before their Judge who, I hope, will
open to them the springs of His compassion. It is not my business to think about it. It is simply my business
to say, as Leonora's people say: "Requiem aeternam dona eis, Do mine, et lux perpetua luceat eis. In memoria
aeterna erit. . . ." But what were they? The just? The unjust? God knows! I think that the pair of them were
only poor wretches, creeping over this earth in the shadow of an eternal wrath. It is very terrible. . . .
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It is almost too terrible, the picture of that judgement, as it appears to me sometimes, at nights. It is probably
the suggestion of some picture that I have seen somewhere. But upon an immense plain, suspended in
midair, I seem to see three figures, two of them clasped close in an intense embrace, and one intolerably
solitary. lt is in black and white, my picture of that judgement, an etching, perhaps; only I cannot tell an
etching from a photographic reproduction. And the immense plain is the hand of God, stretching out for miles
and miles, with great spaces above it and below it. And they are in the sight of God, and it is Florence that is
alone. . . .
And, do you know, at the thought of that intense solitude I feel an overwhelming desire to rush forward and
comfort her. You cannot, you see, have acted as nurse to a person for twelve years without wishing to go on
nursing them, even though you hate them with the hatred of the adder, and even in the palm of God. But, in
the nights, with that vision of judgement before me, I know that I hold myself back. For I hate Florence. I
hate Florence with such a hatred that I would not spare her an eternity of loneliness. She need not have done
what she did. She was an American, a New Englander. She had not the hot passions of these Europeans. She
cut out that poor imbecile of an Edwardand I pray God that he is really at peace, clasped close in the arms
of that poor, poor girl! And, no doubt, Maisie Maidan will find her young husband again, and Leonora will
burn, clear and serene, a northern light and one of the archangels of God. And me. . . . Well, perhaps, they
will find me an elevator to run. . . . But Florence. . . .
She should not have done it. She should not have done it. It was playing it too low down. She cut out poor
dear Edward from sheer vanity; she meddled between him and Leonora from a sheer, imbecile spirit of
district visiting. Do you understand that, whilst she was Edward's mistress, she was perpetually trying to
reunite him to his wife? She would gabble on to Leonora about forgivenesstreating the subject from the
bright, American point of view. And Leonora would treat her like the whore she was. Once she said to
Florence in the early morning:
"You come to me straight out of his bed to tell me that that is my proper place. I know it, thank you."
But even that could not stop Florence. She went on saying that it was her ambition to leave this world a little
brighter by the passage of her brief life, and how thankfully she would leave Edward, whom she thought she
had brought to a right frame of mind, if Leonora would only give him a chance. He needed, she said,
tenderness beyond anything.
And Leonora would answerfor she put up with this outrage for yearsLeonora, as I understand, would
answer something like:
"Yes, you would give him up. And you would go on writing to each other in secret, and committing adultery
in hired rooms. I know the pair of you, you know. No. I prefer the situation as it is."
Half the time Florence would ignore Leonora's remarks. She would think they were not quite ladylike. The
other half of the time she would try to persuade Leonora that her love for Edward was quite spiritualon
account of her heart. Once she said:
"If you can believe that of Maisie Maidan, as you say you do, why cannot you believe it of me?"
Leonora was, I understand, doing her hair at that time in front of the mirror in her bedroom. And she looked
round at Florence, to whom she did not usually vouchsafe a glance,she looked round coolly and calmly,
and said:
"Never do you dare to mention Mrs Maidan's name again. You murdered her. You and I murdered her
between us. I am as much a scoundrel as you. I don't like to be reminded of it."
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Florence went off at once into a babble of how could she have hurt a person whom she hardly knew, a person
whom with the best intentions, in pursuance of her efforts to leave the world a little brighter, she had tried to
save from Edward. That was how she figured it out to herself. She really thought that. . . . So Leonora said
patiently:
"Very well, just put it that I killed her and that it's a painful subject. One does not like to think that one had
killed someone. Naturally not. I ought never to have brought her from India."
And that, indeed, is exactly how Leonora looked at it. It is stated a little baldly, but Leonora was always a
great one for bald statements.
What had happened on the day of our jaunt to the ancient city of M had been this:
Leonora, who had been even then filled with pity and contrition for the poor child, on returning to our hotel
had gone straight to Mrs Maidan's room. She had wanted just to pet her. And she had perceived at first only,
on the clear, round table covered with red velvet, a letter addressed to her. It ran something like:
"Oh, Mrs Ashburnham, how could you have done it? I trusted you so. You never talked to me about me and
Edward, but I trusted you. How could you buy me from my husband? I have just heard how you havein the
hall they were talking about it, Edward and the American lady. You paid the money for me to come here. Oh,
how could you? How could you? I am going straight back to Bunny. . . ."
Bunny was Mrs Maidan's husband.
And Leonora said that, as she went on reading the letter, she had, without looking round her, a sense that that
hotel room was cleared, that there were no papers on the table, that there were no clothes on the hooks, and
that there was a strained silencea silence, she said, as if there were something in the room that drank up
such sounds as there were. She had to fight against that feeling, whilst she read the postscript of the letter.
"I did not know you wanted me for an adulteress," the postscript began. The poor child was hardly literate. "It
was surely not right of you and I never wanted to be one. And I heard Edward call me a poor little rat to the
American lady. He always called me a little rat in private, and I did not mind. But, if he called me it to her, I
think he does not love me any more. Oh, Mrs Ashburnham, you knew the world and I knew nothing. I
thought it would be all right if you thought it could, and I thought you would not have brought me if you did
not, too. You should not have done it, and we out of the same convent. . . ."
Leonora said that she screamed when she read that.
And then she saw that Maisie's boxes were all packed, and she began a search for Mrs Maidan herselfall
over the hotel. The manager said that Mrs Maidan had paid her bill, and had gone up to the station to ask the
Reiseverkehrsbureau to make her out a plan for her immediate return to Chitral. He imagined that he had seen
her come back, but he was not quite certain. No one in the large hotel had bothered his head about the child.
And she, wandering solitarily in the hall, had no doubt sat down beside a screen that had Edward and
Florence on the other side. I never heard then or after what had passed between that precious couple. I fancy
Florence was just about beginning her cutting out of poor dear Edward by addressing to him some words of
friendly warning as to the ravages he might be making in the girl's heart. That would be the sort of way she
would begin. And Edward would have sentimentally assured her that there was nothing in it; that Maisie was
just a poor little rat whose passage to Nauheim his wife had paid out of her own pocket. That would have
been enough to do the trick.
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For the trick was pretty efficiently done. Leonora, with panic growing and with contrition very large in her
heart, visited every one of the public rooms of the hotelthe diningroom, the lounge, the schreibzimmer,
the winter garden. God knows what they wanted with a winter garden in an hotel that is only open from May
till October. But there it was. And then Leonora ranyes, she ran up the stairsto see if Maisie had not
returned to her rooms. She had determined to take that child right away from that hideous place. It seemed to
her to be all unspeakable. I do not mean to say that she was not quite cool about it. Leonora was always
Leonora. But the cold justice of the thing demanded that she should play the part of mother to this child who
had come from the same convent. She figured it out to amount to that. She would leave Edward to Florence
and to meand she would devote all her time to providing that child with an atmosphere of love until she
could be returned to her poor young husband. It was naturally too late.
She had not cared to look round Maisie's rooms at first. Now, as soon as she came in, she perceived, sticking
out beyond the bed, a small pair of feet in highheeled shoes. Maisie had died in the effort to strap up a great
portmanteau. She had died so grotesquely that her little body had fallen forward into the trunk, and it had
closed upon her, like the jaws of a gigantic alligator. The key was in her hand. Her dark hair, like the hair of a
Japanese, had come down and covered her body and her face.
Leonora lifted her upshe was the merest featherweightand laid her on the bed with her hair about her.
She was smiling, as if she had just scored a goal in a hockey match. You understand she had not committed
suicide. Her heart had just stopped. I saw her, with the long lashes on the cheeks, with the smile about the
lips, with the flowers all about her. The stem of a white lily rested in her hand so that the spike of flowers was
upon her shoulder. She looked like a bride in the sunlight of the mortuary candles that were all about her, and
the white coifs of the two nuns that knelt at her feet with their faces hidden might have been two swans that
were to bear her away to kissingkindness land, or wherever it is. Leonora showed her to me. She would not
let either of the others see her. She wanted, you know, to spare poor dear Edward's feelings. He never could
bear the sight of a corpse. And, since she never gave him an idea that Maisie had written to her, he imagined
that the death had been the most natural thing in the world. He soon got over it. Indeed, it was the one affair
of his about which he never felt much remorse.
PART II
I
THE death of Mrs Maidan occurred on the 4th of August, 1904. And then nothing happened until the 4th of
August, 1913. There is the curious coincidence of dates, but I do not know whether that is one of those
sinister, as if half jocular and altogether merciless proceedings on the part of a cruel Providence that we call a
coincidence. Because it may just as well have been the superstitious mind of Florence that forced her to
certain acts, as if she had been hypnotized. It is, however, certain that the 4th of August always proved a
significant date for her. To begin with, she was born on the 4th of August. Then, on that date, in the year
1899, she set out with her uncle for the tour round the world in company with a young man called Jimmy.
But that was not merely a coincidence. Her kindly old uncle, with the supposedly damaged heart, was in his
delicate way, offering her, in this trip, a birthday present to celebrate her coming of age. Then, on the 4th of
August, 1900, she yielded to an action that certainly coloured her whole lifeas well as mine. She had no
luck. She was probably offering herself a birthday present that morning. . . .
On the 4th of August, 1901, she married me, and set sail for Europe in a great gale of windthe gale that
affected her heart. And no doubt there, again, she was offering herself a birthday giftthe birthday gift of
my miserable life. It occurs to me that I have never told you anything about my marriage. That was like this: I
have told you, as I think, that I first met Florence at the Stuyvesants', in Fourteenth Street. And, from that
moment, I determined with all the obstinacy of a possibly weak nature, if not to make her mine, at least to
marry her. I had no occupationI had no business affairs. I simply camped down there in Stamford, in a vile
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hotel, and just passed my days in the house, or on the verandah of the Misses Hurlbird. The Misses Hurlbird,
in an odd, obstinate way, did not like my presence. But they were hampered by the national manners of these
occasions. Florence had her own sittingroom. She could ask to it whom she liked, and I simply walked into
that apartment. I was as timid as you will, but in that matter I was like a chicken that is determined to get
across the road in front of an automobile. I would walk into Florence's pretty, little, oldfashioned room, take
off my hat, and sit down.
Florence had, of course, several other fellows, toostrapping young New Englanders, who worked during
the day in New York and spent only the evenings in the village of their birth. And, in the evenings, they
would march in on Florence with almost as much determination as I myself showed. And I am bound to say
that they were received with as much disfavour as was my portionfrom the Misses Hurlbird. . . .
They were curious old creatures, those two. It was almost as if they were members of an ancient family under
some cursethey were so gentlewomanly, so proper, and they sighed so. Sometimes I would see tears in
their eyes. I do not know that my courtship of Florence made much progress at first. Perhaps that was because
it took place almost entirely during the daytime, on hot afternoons, when the clouds of dust hung like fog,
right up as high as the tops of the thinleaved elms. The night, I believe, is the proper season for the gentle
feats of love, not a Connecticut July afternoon, when any sort of proximity is an almost appalling thought.
But, if I never so much as kissed Florence, she let me discover very easily, in the course of a fortnight, her
simple wants. And I could supply those wants. . . .
She wanted to marry a gentleman of leisure; she wanted a European establishment. She wanted her husband
to have an English accent, an income of fifty thousand dollars a year from real estate and no ambitions to
increase that income. Andshe faintly hintedshe did not want much physical passion in the affair.
Americans, you know, can envisage such unions without blinking.
She gave cut this information in floods of bright talkshe would pop a little bit of it into comments over a
view of the Rialto, Venice, and, whilst she was brightly describing Balmoral Castle, she would say that her
ideal husband would he one who could get her received at the British Court. She had spent, it seemed, two
months in Great Britainseven weeks in touring from Stratford to Strathpeffer, and one as paying guest in
an old English family near Ledbury, an impoverished, but still stately family, called Bagshawe. They were to
have spent two months more in that tranquil bosom, but inopportune events, apparently in her uncle's
business, had caused their rather hurried return to Stamford. The young man called Jimmy had remained in
Europe to perfect his knowledge of that continent. He certainly did: he was most useful to us afterwards.
But the point that came outthat there was no mistakingwas that Florence was coldly and calmly
determined to take no look at any man who could not give her a European settlement. Her glimpse of English
home life had effected this. She meant, on her marriage, to have a year in Paris, and then to have her husband
buy some real estate in the neighbourhood of Fordingbridge, from which place the Hurlbirds had come in the
year 1688. On the strength of that she was going to take her place in the ranks of English county society. That
was fixed.
I used to feel mightily elevated when I considered these details, for I could not figure out that amongst her
acquaintances in Stamford there was any fellow that would fill the bill. The most of them were not as wealthy
as I, and those that were were not the type to give up the fascinations of Wall Street even for the protracted
companionship of Florence. But nothing really happened during the month of July. On the 1st of August
Florence apparently told her aunts that she intended to marry me.
She had not told me so, but there was no doubt about the aunts, for, on that afternoon, Miss Florence
Hurlbird, Senior, stopped me on my way to Florence's sittingroom and took me, agitatedly, into the parlour.
It was a singular interview, in that oldfashioned colonial room, with the spindlelegged furniture, the
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silhouettes, the miniatures, the portrait of General Braddock, and the smell of lavender. You see, the two poor
maiden ladies were in agoniesand they could not say one single thing direct. They would almost wring
their hands and ask if I had considered such a thing as different temperaments. I assure you they were almost
affectionate, concerned for me even, as if Florence were too bright for my solid and serious virtues.
For they had discovered in me solid and serious virtues. That might have been because I had once dropped
the remark that I preferred General Braddock to General Washington. For the Hurlbirds had backed the losing
side in the War of Independence, and had been seriously impoverished and quite efficiently oppressed for that
reason. The Misses Hurlbird could never forget it.
Nevertheless they shuddered at the thought of a European career for myself and Florence. Each of them really
wailed when they heard that that was what I hoped to give their niece. That may have been partly because
they regarded Europe as a sink of iniquity, where strange laxities prevailed. They thought the Mother Country
as Erastian as any other. And they carried their protests to extraordinary lengths, for them. . . .
They even, almost, said that marriage was a sacrament; but neither Miss Florence nor Miss Emily could quite
bring herself to utter the word. And they almost brought themselves to say that Florence's early life had been
characterized by flirtationssomething of that sort.
I know I ended the interview by saying:
"I don't care. If Florence has robbed a bank I am going to marry her and take her to Europe."
And at that Miss Emily wailed and fainted. But Miss Florence, in spite of the state of her sister, threw herself
on my neck and cried out:
"Don't do it, John. Don't do it. You're a good young man," and she added, whilst I was getting out of the room
to send Florenc to her aunt's rescue:
"We ought to tell you more. But she's our dear sister's child."
Florence, I remember, received me with a chalkpale face and the exclamation:
"Have those old cats been saying anything against me?" But I assured her that they had not and hurried her
into the room of her strangely afflicted relatives. I had really forgotten all about that exclamation of
Florence's until this moment. She treated me so very wellwith such tactthat, if I ever thought of it
afterwards I put it down to her deep affection for me.
And that evening, when I went to fetch her for a buggyride, she had disappeared. I did not lose any time. I
went into New York and engaged berths on the "Pocahontas", that was to sail on the evening of the fourth of
the month, and then, returning to Stamford, I tracked out, in the course of the day, that Florence had been
driven to Rye Station. And there I found that she had taken the cars to Waterbury. She had, of course, gone to
her uncle's. The old man received me with a stony, husky face. I was not to see Florence; she was ill; she was
keeping her room. And, from something that he let dropan odd Biblical phrase that I have forgotten I
gathered that all that family simply did not intend her to marry ever in her life.
I procured at once the name of the nearest minister and a rope ladderyou have no idea how primitively
these matters were arranged in those days in the United States. I daresay that may be so still. And at one
o'clock in the morning of the 4th of August I was standing in Florence's bedroom. I was so oneminded in
my purpose that it never struck me there was anything improper in being, at one o'clock in the morning, in
Florence's bedroom. I just wanted to wake her up. She was not, however, asleep. She expected me, and her
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relatives had only just left her. She received me with an embrace of a warmth. . . . Well, it was the first time I
had ever been embraced by a womanand it was the last when a woman's embrace has had in it any warmth
for me. . . .
I suppose it was my own fault, what followed. At any rate, I was in such a hurry to get the wedding over, and
was so afraid of her relatives finding me there, that I must have received her advances with a certain amount
of absence of mind. I was out of that room and down the ladder in under half a minute. She kept me waiting
at the foot an unconscionable timeit was certainly three in the morning before we knocked up that minister.
And I think that that wait was the only sign Florence ever showed of having a conscience as far as I was
concerned, unless her lying for some moments in my arms was also a sign of conscience. I fancy that, if I had
shown warmth then, she would have acted the proper wife to me, or would have put me back again. But,
because I acted like a Philadelphia gentleman, she made me, I suppose, go through with the part of a male
nurse. Perhaps she thought that I should not mind.
After that, as I gather, she had not any more remorse. She was only anxious to carry out her plans. For, just
before she came down the ladder, she called me to the top of that grotesque implement that I went up and
down like a tranquil jumpingjack. I was perfectly collected. She said to me with a certain fierceness:
"It is determined that we sail at four this afternoon? You are not lying about having taken berths?"
I understood that she would naturally be anxious to get away from the neighbourhood of her apparently
insane relatives, so that I readily excused her for thinking that I should be capable of lying about such a thing.
I made it, therefore, plain to her that it was my fixed determination to sail by the "Pocahontas". She said
thenit was a moonlit morning, and she was whispering in my ear whilst I stood on the ladder. The hills that
surround Waterbury showed, extraordinarily tranquil, around the villa. She said, almost coldly:
"I wanted to know, so as to pack my trunks." And she added: "I may be ill, you know. I guess my heart is a
little like Uncle Hurlbird's. It runs in families."
I whispered that the "Pocahontas" was an extraordinarily steady boat. . . .
Now I wonder what had passed through Florence's mind during the two hours that she had kept me waiting at
the foot of the ladder. I would give not a little to know. Till then, I fancy she had had no settled plan in her
mind. She certainly never mentioned her heart till that time. Perhaps the renewed sight of her Uncle Hurlbird
had given her the idea. Certainly her Aunt Emily, who had come over with her to Waterbury, would have
rubbed into her, for hours and hours, the idea that any accentuated discussions would kill the old gentleman.
That would recall to her mind all the safeguards against excitement with which the poor silly old gentleman
had been hedged in during their trip round the world. That, perhaps, put it into her head. Still, I believe there
was some remorse on my account, too. Leonora told me that Florence said there wasfor Leonora knew all
about it, and once went so far as to ask her how she could do a thing so infamous. She excused herself on the
score of an overmastering passion. Well, I always say that an overmastering passion is a good excuse for
feelings. You cannot help them. And it is a good excuse for straight actionsshe might have bolted with the
fellow, before or after she married me. And, if they had not enough money to get along with, they might have
cut their throats, or sponged on her family, though, of course, Florence wanted such a lot that it would have
suited her very badly to have for a husband a clerk in a drygoods store, which was what old Hurlbird would
have made of that fellow. He hated him. No, I do not think that there is much excuse for Florence.
God knows. She was a frightened fool, and she was fantastic, and I suppose that, at that time, she really cared
for that imbecile. He certainly didn't care for her. Poor thing. . . . At any rate, after I had assured her that the
"Pocahontas" was a steady ship, she just said:
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"You'll have to look after me in certain wayslike Uncle Hurlbird is looked after. I will tell you how to do
it." And then she stepped over the sill, as if she were stepping on board a boat. I suppose she had burnt hers!
I had, no doubt, eyeopeners enough. When we reentered the Hurlbird mansion at eight o'clock the
Hurlbirds were just exhausted. Florence had a hard, triumphant air. We had got married about four in the
morning and had sat about in the woods above the town till then, listening to a mockingbird imitate an old
tomcat. So I guess Florence had not found getting married to me a very stimulating process. I had not found
anything much more inspiring to say than how glad I was, with variations. I think I was too dazed. Well, the
Hurlbirds were too dazed to say much. We had breakfast together, and then Florence went to pack her grips
and things. Old Hurlbird took the opportunity to read me a fullblooded lecture, in the style of an American
oration, as to the perils for young American girlhood lurking in the European jungle. He said that Paris was
full of snakes in the grass, of which he had had bitter experience. He concluded, as they always do, poor, dear
old things, with the aspiration that all American women should one day be sexlessthough that is not the
way they put it. . . .
Well, we made the ship all right by onethirtyan there was a tempest blowing. That helped Florence a
good deal. For we were not ten minutes out from Sandy Hook before Florence went down into her cabin and
her heart took her. An agitated stewardess came running up to me, and I went running down. I got my
directions how to behave to my wife. Most of them came from her, though it was the ship doctor who
discreetly suggested to me that I had better refrain from manifestations of affection. I was ready enough.
I was, of course, full of remorse. It occurred to me that her heart was the reason for the Hurlbirds' mysterious
desire to keep their youngest and dearest unmarried. Of course, they would be too refined to put the motive
into words. They were old stock New Englanders. They would not want to have to suggest that a husband
must not kiss the back of his wife's neck. They would not like to suggest that he might, for the matter of that.
I wonder, though, how Florence got the doctor to enter the conspiracythe several doctors.
Of course her heart squeaked a bitshe had the same configuration of the lungs as her Uncle Hurlbird. And,
in his company, she must have heard a great deal of heart talk from specialists. Anyhow, she and they tied me
pretty well downand Jimmy, of course, that dreary boywhat in the world did she see in him? He was
lugubrious, silent, morose. He had no talent as a painter. He was very sallow and dark, and he never shaved
sufficiently. He met us at Havre, and he proceeded to make himself useful for the next two years, during
which he lived in our flat in Paris, whether we were there or not. He studied painting at Julien's, or some such
place. . . .
That fellow had his hands always in the pockets of his odious, squareshouldered, broadhipped, American
coats, and his dark eyes were always full of ominous appearances. He was, besides, too fat. Why, I was much
the better man. . . .
And I daresay Florence would have given me the better. She showed signs of it. I think, perhaps, the
enigmatic smile with which she used to look back at me over her shoulder when she went into the bathing
place was a sort of invitation. I have mentioned that. It was as if she were saying: "I am going in here. I am
going to stand so stripped and white and straightand you are a man. . . ." Perhaps it was that. . . .
No, she cannot have liked that fellow long. He looked like sallow putty. I understand that he had been slim
and dark and very graceful at the time of her first disgrace. But, loafing about in Paris, on her pocketmoney
and on the allowance that old Hurlbird made him to keep out of the United States, had given him a stomach
like a man of forty, and dyspeptic irritation on top of it.
God, how they worked me! It was those two between them who really elaborated the rules. I have told you
something about themhow I had to head conversations, for all those eleven years, off such topics as love,
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poverty, crime, and so on. But, looking over what I have written, I see that I have unintentionally misled you
when I said that Florence was never out of my sight. Yet that was the impression that I really had until just
now. When I come to think of it she was out of my sight most of the time.
You see, that fellow impressed upon me that what Florence needed most of all were sleep and privacy. I must
never enter her room without knocking, or her poor little heart might flutter away to its doom. He said these
things with his lugubrious croak, and his black eyes like a crow's, so that I seemed to see poor Florence die
ten times a daya little, pale, frail corpse. Why, I would as soon have thought of entering her room without
her permission as of burgling a church. I would sooner have committed that crime. I would certainly have
done it if I had thought the state of her heart demanded the sacrilege. So at ten o'clock at night the door closed
upon Florence, who had gently, and, as if reluctantly, backed up that fellow's recommendations; and she
would wish me good night as if she were a cinquecento Italian lady saying goodbye to her lover. And at ten
o'clock of the next morning there she would come out the door of her room as fresh as Venus rising from any
of the couches that are mentioned in Greek legends.
Her room door was locked because she was nervous about thieves; but an electric contrivance on a cord was
understood to be attached to her little wrist. She had only to press a bulb to raise the house. And I was
provided with an axean axe!great gods, with which to break down her door in case she ever failed to
answer my knock, after I knocked really loud several times. It was pretty well thought out, you see.
What wasn't so well thought out were the ultimate consequencesour being tied to Europe. For that young
man rubbed it so well into me that Florence would die if she crossed the Channelhe impressed it so fully
on my mind that, when later Florence wanted to go to Fordingbridge, I cut the proposal shortabsolutely
short, with a curt no. It fixed her and it frightened her. I was even backed up by all the doctors. I seemed to
have had endless interviews with doctor after doctor, cool, quiet men, who would ask, in reasonable tones,
whether there was any reason for our going to Englandany special reason. And since I could not see any
special reason, they would give the verdict: "Better not, then." I daresay they were honest enough, as things
go. They probably imagined that the mere associations of the steamer might have effects on Florence's
nerves. That would be enough, that and a conscientious desire to keep our money on the Continent.
It must have rattled poor Florence pretty considerably, for you see, the main ideathe only main idea of her
heart, that was otherwise coldwas to get to Fordingbridge and be a county lady in the home of her
ancestors. But Jimmy got her, there: he shut on her the door of the Channel; even on the fairest day of blue
sky, with the cliffs of England shining like mother of pearl in full view of Calais, I would not have let her
cross the steamer gangway to save her life. I tell you it fixed her.
It fixed her beautifully, because she could not announce herself as cured, since that would have put an end to
the locked bedroom arrangements. And, by the time she was sick of Jimmywhich happened in the year
1903 she had taken on Edward Ashburnham. Yes, it was a bad fix for her, because Edward could have
taken her to Fordingbridge, and, though he could not give her Branshaw Manor, that home of her ancestors
being settled on his wife, she could at least have pretty considerably queened it there or thereabouts, what
with our money and the support of the Ashburnhams. Her uncle, as soon as he considered that she had really
settled down with me and I sent him only the most glowing accounts of her virtue and constancy made
over to her a very considerable part of his fortune for which he had no use. I suppose that we had, between us,
fifteen thousand a year in English money, though I never quite knew how much of hers went to Jimmy. At
any rate, we could have shone in Fordingbridge.
I never quite knew, either, how she and Edward got rid of Jimmy. I fancy that fat and disreputable raven must
have had his six golden front teeth knocked down his throat by Edward one morning whilst I had gone out to
buy some flowers in the Rue de la Paix, leaving Florence and the flat in charge of those two. And serve him
very right, is all that I can say. He was a bad sort of blackmailer; I hope Florence does not have his company
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in the next world.
As God is my Judge, I do not believe that I would have separated those two if I had known that they really
and passionately loved each other. I do not know where the public morality of the case comes in, and, of
course, no man really knows what he would have done in any given case. But I truly believe that I would
have united them, observing ways and means as decent as I could. I believe that I should have given them
money to live upon and that I should have consoled myself somehow. At that date I might have found some
young thing, like Maisie Maidan, or the poor girl, and I might have had some peace. For peace I never had
with Florence, and hardly believe that I cared for her in the way of love after a year or two of it. She became
for me a rare and fragile object, something burdensome, but very frail. Why it was as if I had been given a
thinshelled pullet's egg to carry on my palm from Equatorial Africa to Hoboken. Yes, she became for me, as
it were, the subject of a betthe trophy of an athlete's achievement, a parsley crown that is the symbol of his
chastity, his soberness, his abstentions, and of his inflexible will. Of intrinsic value as a wife, I think she had
none at all for me. I fancy I was not even proud of the way she dressed.
But her passion for Jimmy was not even a passion, and, mad as the suggestion may appear, she was
frightened for her life. Yes, she was afraid of me. I will tell you how that happened.
I had, in the old days, a darky servant, called Julius, who valeted me, and waited on me, and loved me, like
the crown of his head. Now, when we left Waterbury to go to the "Pocahontas", Florence entrusted to me one
very special and very precious leather grip. She told me that her life might depend on that grip, which
contained her drugs against heart attacks. And, since I was never much of a hand at carrying things, I
entrusted this, in turn, to Julius, who was a greyhaired chap of sixty or so, and very picturesque at that. He
made so much impression on Florence that she regarded him as a sort of father, and absolutely refused to let
me take him to Paris. He would have inconvenienced her.
Well, Julius was so overcome with grief at being left behind that he must needs go and drop the precious grip.
I saw red, I saw purple. I flew at Julius. On the ferry, it was, I filled up one of his eyes; I threatened to
strangle him. And, since an unresisting negro can make a deplorable noise and a deplorable spectacle, and,
since that was Florence's first adventure in the married state, she got a pretty idea of my character. It affirmed
in her the desperate resolve to conceal from me the fact that she was not what she would have called "a pure
woman". For that was really the mainspring of her fantastic actions. She was afraid that I should murder her. .
. .
So she got up the heart attack, at the earliest possible opportunity, on board the liner. Perhaps she was not so
very much to be blamed. You must remember that she was a New Englander, and that New England had not
yet come to loathe darkies as it does now. Whereas, if she had come from even so little south as Philadelphia,
and had been an oldish family, she would have seen that for me to kick Julius was not so outrageous an act as
for her cousin, Reggie Hurlbird, to sayas I have heard him say to his English butlerthat for two cents he
would bat him on the pants. Besides, the medicinegrip did not bulk as largely in her eyes as it did in mine,
where it was the symbol of the existence of an adored wife of a day. To her it was just a useful lie. . . .
Well, there you have the position, as clear as I can make itthe husband an ignorant fool, the wife a cold
sensualist with imbecile fearsfor I was such a fool that I should never have known what she was or was
notand the blackmailing lover. And then the other lover came along. . . .
Well, Edward Ashburnham was worth having. Have I conveyed to you the splendid fellow that he wasthe
fine soldier, the excellent landlord, the extraordinarily kind, careful and industrious magistrate, the upright,
honest, fairdealing, fairthinking, public character? I suppose I have not conveyed it to you. The truth is,
that I never knew it until the poor girl came alongthe poor girl who was just as straight, as splendid and as
upright as he. I swear she was. I suppose I ought to have known. I suppose that was, really, why I liked him
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so muchso infinitely much. Come to think of it, I can remember a thousand little acts of kindliness, of
thoughtfulness for his inferiors, even on the Continent. Look here, I know of two families of dirty,
unpicturesque, Hessian paupers that that fellow, with an infinite patience, rooted up, got their police reports,
set on their feet, or exported to my patient land. And he would do it quite inarticulately, set in motion by
seeing a child crying in the street. He would wrestle with dictionaries, in that unfamiliar tongue. . . . Well, he
could not bear to see a child cry. Perhaps he could not bear to see a woman and not give her the comfort of
his physical attractions.
But, although I liked him so intensely, I was rather apt to take these things for granted. They made me feel
comfortable with him, good towards him; they made me trust him. But I guess I thought it was part of the
character of any English gentleman. Why, one day he got it into his head that the head waiter at the Excelsior
had been cryingthe fellow with the grey face and grey whiskers. And then he spent the best part of a week,
in correspondence and up at the British consul's, in getting the fellow's wife to come back from London and
bring back his girl baby. She had bolted with a Swiss scullion. If she had not come inside the week he would
have gone to London himself to fetch her. He was like that.
Edward Ashburnham was like that, and I thought it was only the duty of his rank and station. Perhaps that
was all that it wasbut I pray God to make me discharge mine as well. And, but for the poor girl, I daresay
that I should never have seen it, however much the feeling might have been over me. She had for him such
enthusiasm that, although even now I do not understand the technicalities of English life, I can gather enough.
She was with them during the whole of our last stay at Nauheim.
Nancy Rufford was her name; she was Leonora's only friend's only child, and Leonora was her guardian, if
that is the correct term. She had lived with the Ashburnhams ever since she had been of the age of thirteen,
when her mother was said to have committed suicide owing to the brutalities of her father. Yes, it is a
cheerful story. . . .
Edward always called her "the girl", and it was very pretty, the evident affection he had for her and she for
him. And Leonora's feet she would have kissedthose two were for her the best man and the best woman on
earthand in heaven. I think that she had not a thought of evil in her headthe poor girl. . . .
Well, anyhow, she chanted Edward's praises to me for the hour together, but, as I have said, I could not make
much of it. It appeared that he had the D.S.O., and that his troop loved him beyond the love of men. You
never saw such a troop as his. And he had the Royal Humane Society's medal with a clasp. That meant,
apparently, that he had twice jumped off the deck of a troopship to rescue what the girl called "Tommies",
who had fallen overboard in the Red Sea and such places. He had been twice recommended for the V.C.,
whatever that might mean, and, although owing to some technicalities he had never received that apparently
coveted order, he had some special place about his sovereign at the coronation. Or perhaps it was some post
in the Beefeaters'. She made him out like a cross between Lohengrin and the Chevalier Bayard. Perhaps he
was. . . . But he was too silent a fellow to make that side of him really decorative. I remember going to him at
about that time and asking him what the D.S.O. was, and he grunted out:
"It's a sort of a thing they give grocers who've honourably supplied the troops with adulterated coffee in
wartime"something of that sort. He did not quite carry conviction to me, so, in the end, I put it directly to
Leonora. I asked her fully and squarelyprefacing the question with some remarks, such as those that I have
already given you, as to the difficulty one has in really getting to know people when one's intimacy is
conducted as an English acquaintanceshipI asked her whether her husband was not really a splendid
fellowalong at least the lines of his public functions. She looked at me with a slightly awakened airwith
an air that would have been almost startled if Leonora could ever have been startled.
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"Didn't you know?" she asked. "If I come to think of it there is not a more splendid fellow in any three
counties, pick them where you willalong those lines." And she added, after she had looked at me
reflectively for what seemed a long time:
"To do my husband justice there could not be a better man on the earth. There would not be room for
italong those lines."
"Well," I said, "then he must really be Lohengrin and the Cid in one body. For there are not any other lines
that count."
Again she looked at me for a long time.
"It's your opinion that there are no other lines that count?" she asked slowly.
"Well," I answered gaily, "you're not going to accuse him of not being a good husband, or of not being a good
guardian to your ward?"
She spoke then, slowly, like a person who is listening to the sounds in a seashell held to her earand,
would you believe it?she told me afterwards that, at that speech of mine, for the first time she had a vague
inkling of the tragedy that was to follow so soonalthough the girl had lived with them for eight years or so:
"Oh, I'm not thinking of saying that he is not the best of husbands, or that he is not very fond of the girl."
And then I said something like:
"Well, Leonora, a man sees more of these things than even a wife. And, let me tell you, that in all the years
I've known Edward he has never, in your absence, paid a moment's attention to any other womannot by the
quivering of an eyelash. I should have noticed. And he talks of you as if you were one of the angels of God."
"Oh," she came up to the scratch, as you could be sure Leonora would always come up to the scratch, "I am
perfectly sure that he always speaks nicely of me."
I daresay she had practice in that sort of scenepeople must have been always complimenting her on her
husband's fidelity and adoration. For half the worldthe whole of the world that knew Edward and Leonora
believed that his conviction in the Kilsyte affair had been a miscarriage of justicea conspiracy of false
evidence, got together by Nonconformist adversaries. But think of the fool that I was. . . .
II
LET me think where we were. Oh, yes . . . that conversation took place on the 4th of August, 1913. I
remember saying to her that, on that day, exactly nine years before, I had made their acquaintance, so that it
had seemed quite appropriate and like a birthday speech to utter my little testimonial to my friend Edward. I
could quite confidently say that, though we four had been about together in all sorts of places, for all that
length of time, I had not, for my part, one single complaint to make of either of them. And I added, that that
was an unusual record for people who had been so much together. You are not to imagine that it was only at
Nauheim that we met. That would not have suited Florence.
I find, on looking at my diaries, that on the 4th of September, 1904, Edward accompanied Florence and
myself to Paris, where we put him up till the twentyfirst of that month. He made another short visit to us in
December of that yearthe first year of our acquaintance. It must have been during this visit that he knocked
Mr Jimmy's teeth down his throat. I daresay Florence had asked him to come over for that purpose. In 1905
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he was in Paris three timesonce with Leonora, who wanted some frocks. In 1906 we spent the best part of
six weeks together at Mentone, and Edward stayed with us in Paris on his way back to London. That was how
it went.
The fact was that in Florence the poor wretch had got hold of a Tartar, compared with whom Leonora was a
sucking kid. He must have had a hell of a time. Leonora wanted to keep him forwhat shall I sayfor the
good of her church, as it were, to show that Catholic women do not lose their men. Let it go at that, for the
moment. I will write more about her motives later, perhaps. But Florence was sticking on to the proprietor of
the home of her ancestors. No doubt he was also a very passionate lover. But I am convinced that he was sick
of Florence within three years of even interrupted companionship and the life that she led him. . . .
If ever Leonora so much as mentioned in a letter that they had had a woman staying with themor, if she so
much as mentioned a woman's name in a letter to meoff would go a desperate cable in cipher to that poor
wretch at Branshaw, commanding him on pain of an instant and horrible disclosure to come over and assure
her of his fidelity. I daresay he would have faced it out; I daresay he would have thrown over Florence and
taken the risk of exposure. But there he had Leonora to deal with. And Leonora assured him that, if the
minutest fragment of the real situation ever got through to my senses, she would wreak upon him the most
terrible vengeance that she could think of. And he did not have a very easy job. Florence called for more and
more attentions from him as the time went on. She would make him kiss her at any moment of the day; and it
was only by his making it plain that a divorced lady could never assume a position in the county of
Hampshire that he could prevent her from making a bolt of it with him in her train. Oh, yes, it was a difficult
job for him.
For Florence, if you please, gaining in time a more composed view of nature, and overcome by her habits of
garrulity, arrived at a frame of mind in which she found it almost necessary to tell me all about itnothing
less than that. She said that her situation was too unbearable with regard to me.
She proposed to tell me all, secure a divorce from me, and go with Edward and settle in California. . . . I do
not suppose that she was really serious in this. It would have meant the extinction of all hopes of Branshaw
Manor for her. Besides she had got it into her head that Leonora, who was as sound as a roach, was
consumptive. She was always begging Leonora, before me, to go and see a doctor. But, none the less, poor
Edward seems to have believed in her determination to carry him off. He would not have gone; he cared for
his wife too much. But, if Florence had put him at it, that would have meant my getting to know of it, and his
incurring Leonora's vengeance. And she could have made it pretty hot for him in ten or a dozen different
ways. And she assured me that she would have used every one of them. She was determined to spare my
feelings. And she was quite aware that, at that date, the hottest she could have made it for him would have
been to refuse, herself, ever to see him again. . . .
Well, I think I have made it pretty clear. Let me come to the 4th of August, 1913, the last day of my absolute
ignoranceand, I assure you, of my perfect happiness. For the coming of that dear girl only added to it all.
On that 4th of August I was sitting in the lounge with a rather odious Englishman called Bagshawe, who had
arrived that night, too late for dinner. Leonora had just gone to bed and I was waiting for Florence and
Edward and the girl to come back from a concert at the Casino. They had not gone there all together.
Florence, I remember, had said at first that she would remain with Leonora, and me, and Edward and the girl
had gone off alone. And then Leonora had said to Florence with perfect calmness:
"I wish you would go with those two. I think the girl ought to have the appearance of being chaperoned with
Edward in these places. I think the time has come." So Florence, with her light step, had slipped out after
them. She was all in black for some cousin or other. Americans are particular in those matters.
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We had gone on sitting in the lounge till towards ten, when Leonora had gone up to bed. It had been a very
hot day, but there it was cool. The man called Bagshawe had been reading The Times on the other side of the
room, but then he moved over to me with some trifling question as a prelude to suggesting an acquaintance. I
fancy he asked me something About the polltax on Kurguests, and whether it could not be sneaked out of.
He was that sort of person.
Well, he was an unmistakable man, with a military figure, rather exaggerated, with bulbous eyes that avoided
your own, and a pallid complexion that suggested vices practised in secret along with an uneasy desire for
making acquaintance at whatever cost. . . . The filthy toad. . . .
He began by telling me that he came from Ludlow Manor, near Ledbury. The name had a slightly familiar
sound, though I could not fix it in my mind. Then he began to talk about a duty on hops, about Californian
hops, about Los Angeles, where he had been. He fencing for a topic with which he might gain my affection.
And then, quite suddenly, in the bright light of the street, I saw Florence running. It was like thatI saw
Florence running with a face whiter than paper and her hand on the black stuff over her heart. I tell you, my
own heart stood still; I tell you I could not move. She rushed in at the swing doors. She looked round that
place of rush chairs, cane tables and newspapers. She saw me and opened her lips. She saw the man who was
talking to me. She stuck her hands over her face as if she wished to push her eyes out. And she was not there
any more.
I could not move; I could not stir a finger. And then that man said:
"By Jove: Florry Hurlbird." He turned upon me with an oily and uneasy sound meant for a laugh. He was
really going to ingratiate himself with me.
"Do you know who that is?" he asked. "The last time I saw that girl she was coming out of the bedroom of a
young man called Jimmy at five o'clock in the morning. In my house at Ledbury. You saw her recognize me."
He was standing on his feet, looking down at me. I don't know what I looked like. At any rate, he gave a sort
of gurgle and then stuttered:
"Oh, I say. . . ." Those were the last words I ever heard of Mr Bagshawe's. A long time afterwards I pulled
myself out of the lounge and went up to Florence's room. She had not locked the doorfor the first time of
our married life. She was lying, quite respectably arranged, unlike Mrs Maidan, on her bed. She had a little
phial that rightly should have contained nitrate of amyl, in her right hand. That was on the 4th of August,
1913.
PART III
I
THE odd thing is that what sticks out in my recollection of the rest of that evening was Leonora's saying:
"Of course you might marry her," and, when I asked whom, she answered:
"The girl."
Now that is to me a very amazing thingamazing for the light of possibilities that it casts into the human
heart. For I had never had the slightest conscious idea of marrying the girl; I never had the slightest idea even
of caring for her. I must have talked in an odd way, as people do who are recovering from an anaesthetic. It is
as if one had a dual personality, the one I being entirely unconscious of the other. I had thought nothing; I had
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said such an extraordinary thing.
I don't know that analysis of my own psychology matters at all to this story. I should say that it didn't or, at
any rate, that I had given enough of it. But that odd remark of mine had a strong influence upon what came
after. I mean, that Leonora would probably never have spoken to me at all about Florence's relations with
Edward if I hadn't said, two hours after my wife's death:
"Now I can marry the girl."
She had, then, taken it for granted that I had been suffering all that she had been suffering, or, at least, that I
had permitted all that she had permitted. So that, a month ago, about a week after the funeral of poor Edward,
she could say to me in the most natural way in the worldI had been talking about the duration of my stay at
Branshawshe said with her clear, reflective intonation:
"Oh, stop here for ever and ever if you can." And then she added, "You couldn't be more of a brother to me,
or more of a counsellor, or more of a support. You are all the consolation I have in the world. And isn't it odd
to think that if your wife hadn't been my husband's mistress, you would probably never have been here at
all?"
That was how I got the newsfull in the face, like that. I didn't say anything and I don't suppose I felt
anything, unless maybe it was with that mysterious and unconscious self that underlies most people. Perhaps
one day when I am unconscious or walking in my sleep I may go and spit upon poor Edward's grave. It seems
about the most unlikely thing I could do; but there it is.
No, I remember no emotion of any sort, but just the clear feeling that one has from time to time when one
hears that some Mrs SoandSo is au mieux with a certain gentleman. It made things plainer, suddenly, to
my curiosity. It was as if I thought, at that moment, of a windy November evening, that, when I came to think
it over afterwards, a dozen unexplained things would fit themselves into place. But I wasn't thinking things
over then. I remember that distinctly. I was just sitting back, rather stiffly, in a deep armchair. That is what I
remember. It was twilight.
Branshaw Manor lies in a little hollow with lawns across it and pinewoods on the fringe of the dip. The
immense wind, coming from across the forest, roared overhead. But the view from the window was perfectly
quiet and grey. Not a thing stirred, except a couple of rabbits on the extreme edge of the lawn. It was
Leonora's own little study that we were in and we were waiting for the tea to be brought. I, as I said, was
sitting in the deep chair, Leonora was standing in the window twirling the wooden acorn at the end of the
windowblind cord desultorily round and round. She looked across the lawn and said, as far as I can
remember:
"Edward has been dead only ten days and yet there are rabbits on the lawn."
I understand that rabbits do a great deal of harm to the short grass in England. And then she turned round to
me and said without any adornment at all, for I remember her exact words:
"I think it was stupid of Florence to commit suicide."
I cannot tell you the extraordinary sense of leisure that we two seemed to have at that moment. It wasn't as if
we were waiting for a train, it wasn't as if we were waiting for a mealit was just that there was nothing to
wait for. Nothing.
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There was an extreme stillness with the remote and intermittent sound of the wind. There was the grey light
in that brown, small room. And there appeared to be nothing else in the world. I knew then that Leonora was
about to let me into her full confidence. It was as ifor no, it was the actual fact thatLeonora with an odd
English sense of decency had determined to wait until Edward had been in his grave for a full week before
she spoke. And with some vague motive of giving her an idea of the extent to which she must permit herself
to make confidences, I said slowly and these words too I remember with exactitude"Did Florence
commit suicide? I didn't know."
I was just, you understand, trying to let her know that, if she were going to speak she would have to talk
about a much wider range of things than she had before thought necessary.
So that that was the first knowledge I had that Florence had committed suicide. It had never entered my head.
You may think that I had been singularly lacking in suspiciousness; you may consider me even to have been
an imbecile. But consider the position.
In such circumstances of clamour, of outcry, of the crash of many people running together, of the
professional reticence of such people as hotelkeepers, the traditional reticence of such "good people" as the
Ashburnhamsin such circumstances it is some little material object, always, that catches the eye and that
appeals to the imagination. I had no possible guide to the idea of suicide and the sight of the little flask of
nitrate of amyl in Florence's hand suggested instantly to my mind the idea of the failure of her heart. Nitrate
of amyl, you understand, is the drug that is given to relieve sufferers from angina pectoris.
Seeing Florence, as I had seen her, running with a white face and with one hand held over her heart, and
seeing her, as I immediately afterwards saw her, lying upon her bed with the so familiar little brown flask
clenched in her fingers, it was natural enough for my mind to frame the idea. As happened now and again, I
thought, she had gone out without her remedy and, having felt an attack coming on whilst she was in the
gardens, she had run in to get the nitrate in order, as quickly as possible, to obtain relief. And it was equally
inevitable my mind should frame the thought that her heart, unable to stand the strain of the running, should
have broken in her side. How could I have known that, during all the years of our married life, that little
brown flask had contained, not nitrate of amyl, but prussic acid? It was inconceivable.
Why, not even Edward Ashburnham, who was, after all more intimate with her than I was, had an inkling of
the truth. He just thought that she had dropped dead of heart disease. Indeed, I fancy that the only people who
ever knew that Florence had committed suicide were Leonora, the Grand Duke, the head of the police and the
hotelkeeper. I mention these last three because my recollection of that night is only the sort of pinkish
effulgence from the electriclamps in the hotel lounge. There seemed to bob into my consciousness, like
floating globes, the faces of those three. Now it would be the bearded, monarchical, benevolent head of the
Grand Duke; then the sharpfeatured, brown, cavalrymoustached feature of the chief of police; then the
globular, polished and highcollared vacuousness that represented Monsieur Schontz, the proprietor of the
hotel. At times one head would be there alone, at another the spiked helmet of the official would be close to
the healthy baldness of the prince; then M. Schontz's oiled locks would push in between the two. The
sovereign's soft, exquisitely trained voice would say, "Ja, ja, ja!" each word dropping out like so many soft
pellets of suet; the subdued rasp of the official would come: "Zum Befehl Durchlaucht," like five
revolvershots; the voice of M. Schontz would go on and on under its breath like that of an unclean priest
reciting from his breviary in the corner of a railwaycarriage. That was how it presented itself to me.
They seemed to take no notice of me; I don't suppose that I was even addressed by one of them. But, as long
as one or the other, or all three of them were there, they stood between me as if, I being the titular possessor
of the corpse, had a right to be present at their conferences. Then they all went away and I was left alone for a
long time.
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And I thought nothing; absolutely nothing. I had no ideas; I had no strength. I felt no sorrow, no desire for
action, no inclination to go upstairs and fall upon the body of my wife. I just saw the pink effulgence, the
cane tables, the palms, the globular matchholders, the indented ashtrays. And then Leonora came to me
and it appears that I addressed to her that singular remark:
"Now I can marry the girl."
But I have given you absolutely the whole of my recollection of that evening, as it is the whole of my
recollection of the succeeding three or four days. I was in a state just simply cataleptic. They put me to bed
and I stayed there; they brought me my clothes and I dressed; they led me to an open grave and I stood beside
it. If they had taken me to the edge of a river, or if they had flung me beneath a railway train, I should have
been drowned or mangled in the same spirit. I was the walking dead.
Well, those are my impressions.
What had actually happened had been this. I pieced it together afterwards. You will remember I said that
Edward Ashburnham and the girl had gone off, that night, to a concert at the Casino and that Leonora had
asked Florence, almost immediately after their departure, to follow them and to perform the office of
chaperone. Florence, you may also remember, was all in black, being the mourning that she wore for a
deceased cousin, Jean Hurlbird. It was a very black night and the girl was dressed in creamcoloured muslin,
that must have glimmered under the tall trees of the dark park like a phosphorescent fish in a cupboard. You
couldn't have had a better beacon.
And it appears that Edward Ashburnham led the girl not up the straight allée that leads to the Casino, but in
under the dark trees of the park. Edward Ashburnham told me all this in his final outburst. I have told you
that, upon that occasion, he became deucedly vocal. I didn't pump him. I hadn't any motive. At that time I
didn't in the least connect him with my wife. But the fellow talked like a cheap novelist.Or like a very
good novelist for the matter of that, if it's the business of a novelist to make you see things clearly. And I tell
you I see that thing as clearly as if it were a dream that never left me. It appears that, not very far from the
Casino, he and the girl sat down in the darkness upon a public bench. The lights from that place of
entertainment must have reached them through the treetrunks, since, Edward said, he could quite plainly see
the girl's facethat beloved face with the high forehead, the queer mouth, the tortured eyebrows, and the
direct eyes. And to Florence, creeping up behind them, they must have presented the appearance of
silhouettes. For I take it that Florence came creeping up behind them over the short grass to a tree that, I quite
well remember, was immediately behind that public seat. It was not a very difficult feat for a woman instinct
with jealousy. The Casino orchestra was, as Edward remembered to tell me, playing the Rakocsy march, and
although it was not loud enough, at that distance, to drown the voice of Edward Ashburnham it was certainly
sufficiently audible to efface, amongst the noises of the night, the slight brushings and rustlings that might
have been made by the feet of Florence or by her gown in coming over the short grass. And that miserable
woman must have got it in the face, good and strong. It must have been horrible for her. Horrible! Well, I
suppose she deserved all that she got.
Anyhow, there you have the picture, the immensely tall trees, elms most of them, towering and feathering
away up into the black mistiness that trees seem to gather about them at night; the silhouettes of those two
upon the seat; the beams of light coming from the Casino, the woman all in black peeping with fear behind
the treetrunk. It is melodrama; but I can't help it.
And then, it appears, something happened to Edward Ashburnham. He assured meand I see no reason for
disbelieving himthat until that moment he had had no idea whatever of caring for the girl. He said that he
had regarded her exactly as he would have regarded a daughter. He certainly loved her, but with a very deep,
very tender and very tranquil love. He had missed her when she went away to her conventschool; he had
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been glad when she had returned. But of more than that he had been totally unconscious. Had he been
conscious of it, he assured me, he would have fled from it as from a thing accursed. He realized that it was
the last outrage upon Leonora. But the real point was his entire unconsciousness. He had gone with her into
that dark park with no quickening of the pulse, with no desire for the intimacy of solitude. He had gone,
intending to talk about poloponies, and tennisracquets; about the temperament of the reverend Mother at
the convent she had left and about whether her frock for a party when they got home should be white or blue.
It hadn't come into his head that they would talk about a single thing that they hadn't always talked about; it
had not even come into his head that the tabu which extended around her was not inviolable. And then,
suddenly, that
He was very careful to assure me that at that time there was no physical motive about his declaration. It did
not appear to him to be a matter of a dark night and a propinquity and so on. No, it was simply of her effect
on the moral side of his life that he appears to have talked. He said that he never had the slightest notion to
enfold her in his arms or so much as to touch her hand. He swore that he did not touch her hand. He said that
they sat, she at one end of the bench, he at the other; he leaning slightly towards her and she looking straight
towards the light of the Casino, her face illuminated by the lamps. The expression upon her face he could
only describe as "queer". At another time, indeed, he made it appear that he thought she was glad. It is easy to
imagine that she was glad, since at that time she could have had no idea of what was really happening.
Frankly, she adored Edward Ashburnham. He was for her, in everything that she said at that time, the model
of humanity, the hero, the athlete, the father of his country, the lawgiver. So that for her, to be suddenly,
intimately and overwhelmingly praised must have been a matter for mere gladness, however overwhelming it
were. It must have been as if a god had approved her handiwork or a king her loyalty. She just sat still and
listened, smiling. And it seemed to her that all the bitterness of her childhood, the terrors of her tempestuous
father, the bewailings of her crueltongued mother were suddenly atoned for. She had her recompense at last.
Because, of course, if you come to figure it out, a sudden pouring forth of passion by a man whom you regard
as a cross between a pastor and a father might, to a woman, have the aspect of mere praise for good conduct.
It wouldn't, I mean, appear at all in the light of an attempt to gain possession. The girl, at least, regarded him
as firmly anchored to his Leonora. She had not the slightest inkling of any infidelities. He had always spoken
to her of his wife in terms of reverence and deep affection. He had given her the idea that he regarded
Leonora as absolutely impeccable and as absolutely satisfying. Their union had appeared to her to be one of
those blessed things that are spoken of and contemplated with reverence by her church.
So that, when he spoke of her as being the person he cared most for in the world, she naturally thought that he
meant to except Leonora and she was just glad. It was like a father saying that he approved of a marriageable
daughter . . . And Edward, when he realized what he was doing, curbed his tongue at once. She was just glad
and she went on being just glad.
I suppose that that was the most monstrously wicked thing that Edward Ashburnham ever did in his life. And
yet I am so near to all these people that I cannot think any of them wicked. It is impossible of me to think of
Edward Ashburnham as anything but straight, upright and honourable. That, I mean, is, in spite of everything,
my permanent view of him. I try at times by dwelling on some of the things that he did to push that image of
him away, as you might try to push aside a large pendulum. But it always comes backthe memory of his
innumerable acts of kindness, of his efficiency, of his unspiteful tongue. He was such a fine fellow.
So I feel myself forced to attempt to excuse him in this as in so many other things. It is, I have no doubt, a
most monstrous thing to attempt to corrupt a young girl just out of a convent. But I think Edward had no idea
at all of corrupting her. I believe that he simply loved her. He said that that was the way of it and I, at least,
believe him and I believe too that she was the only woman he ever really loved. He said that that was so; and
he did enough to prove it. And Leonora said that it was so and Leonora knew him to the bottom of his heart.
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I have come to be very much of a cynic in these matters; I mean that it is impossible to believe in the
permanence of man's or woman's love. Or, at any rate, it is impossible to believe in the permanence of any
early passion. As I see it, at least, with regard to man, a love affair, a love for any definite womanis
something in the nature of a widening of the experience. With each new woman that a man is attracted to
there appears to come a broadening of the outlook, or, if you like, an acquiring of new territory. A turn of the
eyebrow, a tone of the voice, a queer characteristic gestureall these things, and it is these things that cause
to arise the passion of loveall these things are like so many objects on the horizon of the landscape that
tempt a man to walk beyond the horizon, to explore. He wants to get, as it were, behind those eyebrows with
the peculiar turn, as if he desired to see the world with the eyes that they overshadow. He wants to hear that
voice applying itself to every possible proposition, to every possible topic; he wants to see those
characteristic gestures against every possible background. Of the question of the sexinstinct I know very
little and I do not think that it counts for very much in a really great passion. It can be aroused by such
nothingsby an untied shoelace, by a glance of the eye in passing that I think it might be left out of the
calculation. I don't mean to say that any great passion can exist without a desire for consummation. That
seems to me to be a commonplace and to be therefore a matter needing no comment at all. It is a thing, with
all its accidents, that must be taken for granted, as, in a novel, or a biography, you take it for granted that the
characters have their meals with some regularity. But the real fierceness of desire, the real heat of a passion
long continued and withering up the soul of a man is the craving for identity with the woman that he loves.
He desires to see with the same eyes, to touch with the same sense of touch, to hear with the same ears, to
lose his identity, to be enveloped, to be supported. For, whatever may be said of the relation of the sexes,
there is no man who loves a woman that does not desire to come to her for the renewal of his courage, for the
cutting asunder of his difficulties. And that will be the mainspring of his desire for her. We are all so afraid,
we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist.
So, for a time, if such a passion come to fruition, the man will get what he wants. He will get the moral
support, the encouragement, the relief from the sense of loneliness, the assurance of his own worth. But these
things pass away; inevitably they pass away as the shadows pass across sundials. It is sad, but it is so. The
pages of the book will become familiar; the beautiful corner of the road will have been turned too many
times. Well, this is the saddest story.
And yet I do believe that for every man there comes at last a womanor no, that is the wrong way of
formulating it. For every man there comes at last a time of life when the woman who then sets her seal upon
his imagination has set her seal for good. He will travel over no more horizons; he will never again set the
knapsack over his shoulders; he will retire from those scenes. He will have gone out of the business.
That at any rate was the case with Edward and the poor girl. It was quite literally the case. It was quite
literally the case that his passionsfor the mistress of the Grand Duke, for Mrs Basil, for little Mrs Maidan,
for Florence, for whom you willthese passions were merely preliminary canters compared to his final race
with death for her. I am certain of that. I am not going to be so American as to say that all true love demands
some sacrifice. It doesn't. But I think that love will be truer and more permanent in which selfsacrifice has
been exacted. And, in the case of the other women, Edward just cut in and cut them out as he did with the
poloball from under the nose of Count Baron von Lelöffel. I don't mean to say that he didn't wear himself as
thin as a lath in the endeavour to capture the other women; but over her he wore himself to rags and tatters
and deathin the effort to leave her alone.
And, in speaking to her on that night, he wasn't, I am convinced, committing a baseness. It was as if his
passion for her hadn't existed; as if the very words that he spoke, without knowing that he spoke them,
created the passion as they went along. Before he spoke, there was nothing; afterwards, it was the integral
fact of his life. Well, I must get back to my story.
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And my story was concerning itself with Florencewith Florence, who heard those words from behind the
tree. That of course is only conjecture, but I think the conjecture is pretty well justified. You have the fact that
those two went out, that she followed them almost immediately afterwards through the darkness and, a little
later, she came running back to the hotel with that pallid face and the hand clutching her dress over her heart.
It can't have been only Bagshawe. Her face was contorted with agony before ever her eyes fell upon me or
upon him beside me. But I dare say Bagshawe may have been the determining influence in her suicide.
Leonora says that she had that flask, apparently of nitrate of amyl, but actually of prussic acid, for many years
and that she was determined to use it if ever I discovered the nature of her relationship with that fellow
Jimmy. You see, the mainspring of her nature must have been vanity. There is no reason why it shouldn't
have been; I guess it is vanity that makes most of us keep straight, if we do keep straight, in this world.
If it had been merely a matter of Edward's relations with the girl I dare say Florence would have faced it out.
She would no doubt have made him scenes, have threatened him, have appealed to his sense of humour, to
his promises. But Mr Bagshawe and the fact that the date was the 4th of August must have been too much for
her superstitious mind. You see, she had two things that she wanted. She wanted to be a great lady, installed
in Branshaw Teleragh. She wanted also to retain my respect.
She wanted, that is to say, to retain my respect for as long as she lived with me. I suppose, if she had
persuaded Edward Ashburnham to bolt with her she would have let the whole thing go with a run. Or perhaps
she would have tried to exact from me a new respect for the greatness of her passion on the lines of all for
love and the world well lost. That would be just like Florence.
In all matrimonial associations there is, I believe, one constant factor a desire to deceive the person with
whom one lives as to some weak spot in one's character or in one's career. For it is intolerable to live
constantly with one human being who perceives one's small meannesses. It is really death to do sothat is
why so many marriages turn out unhappily.
I, for instance, am a rather greedy man; I have a taste for good cookery and a watering tooth at the mere
sound of the names of certain comestibles. If Florence had discovered this secret of mine I should have found
her knowledge of it so unbearable that I never could have supported all the other privations of the régime that
she extracted from me. I am bound to say that Florence never discovered this secret.
Certainly she never alluded to it; I dare say she never took sufficient interest in me.
And the secret weakness of Florencethe weakness that she could not bear to have me discover, was just
that early escapade with the fellow called Jimmy. Let me, as this is in all probability the last time I shall
mention Florence's name, dwell a little upon the change that had taken place in her psychology. She would
not, I mean, have minded if I had discovered that she was the mistress of Edward Ashburnham. She would
rather have liked it. Indeed, the chief trouble of poor Leonora in those days was to keep Florence from
making, before me, theatrical displays, on one line or another, of that very fact. She wanted, in one mood, to
come rushing to me, to cast herself on her knees at my feet and to declaim a carefully arranged, frightfully
emotional, outpouring as to her passion. That was to show that she was like one of the great erotic women of
whom history tells us. In another mood she would desire to come to me disdainfully and to tell me that I was
considerably less than a man and that what had happened was what must happen when a real male came
along. She wanted to say that in cool, balanced and sarcastic sentences. That was when she wished to appear
like the heroine of a French comedy. Because of course she was always play acting.
But what she didn't want me to know was the fact of her first escapade with the fellow called Jimmy. She had
arrived at figuring out the sort of lowdown Bowery tough that that fellow was. Do you know what it is to
shudder, in later life, for some small, stupid actionusually for some small, quite genuine piece of
emotionalismof your early life? Well, it was that sort of shuddering that came over Florence at the thought
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that she had surrendered to such a low fellow. I don't know that she need have shuddered. It was her footing
old uncle's work; he ought never to have taken those two round the world together and shut himself up in his
cabin for the greater part of the time. Anyhow, I am convinced that the sight of Mr Bagshawe and the thought
that Mr Bagshawefor she knew that unpleasant and toadlike personalitythe thought that Mr Bagshawe
would almost certainly reveal to me that he had caught her coming out of Jimmy's bedroom at five o'clock in
the morning on the 4th of August, 1900that was the determining influence in her suicide. And no doubt the
effect of the date was too much for her superstitious personality. She had been born on the 4th of August; she
had started to go round the world on the 4th of August; she had become a low fellow's mistress on the 4th of
August. On the same day of the year she had married me; on that 4th she had lost Edward's love, and
Bagshawe had appeared like a sinister omenlike a grin on the face of Fate. It was the last straw. She ran
upstairs, arranged herself decoratively upon her bedshe was a sweetly pretty woman with smooth pink and
white cheeks, long hair, the eyelashes falling like a tiny curtain on her cheeks. She drank the little phial of
prussic acid and there she lay.Oh, extremely charming and clearcutlooking with a puzzled expression
at the electriclight bulb that hung from the ceiling, or perhaps through it, to the stars above. Who knows?
Anyhow, there was an end of Florence.
You have no idea how quite extraordinarily for me that was the end of Florence. From that day to this I have
never given her another thought; I have not bestowed upon her so much as a sigh. Of course, when it has been
necessary to talk about her to Leonora, or when for the purpose of these writings I have tried to figure her out,
I have thought about her as I might do about a problem in algebra. But it has always been as a matter for
study, not for remembrance. She just went completely out of existence, like yesterday's paper.
I was so deadly tired. And I dare say that my week or ten days of affaissementof what was practically
catalepsywas just the repose that my exhausted nature claimed after twelve years of the repression of my
instincts, after twelve years of playing the trained poodle. For that was all that I had been. I suppose that it
was the shock that did itthe several shocks. But I am unwilling to attribute my feelings at that time to
anything so concrete as a shock. It was a feeling so tranquil. It was as if an immensely heavyan unbearably
heavy knapsack, supported upon my shoulders by straps, had fallen off and left my shoulders themselves that
the straps had cut into, numb and without sensation of life. I tell you, I had no regret. What had I to regret? I
suppose that my inner soulmy dual personalityhad realized long before that Florence was a personality
of paperthat she represented a real human being with a heart, with feelings, with sympathies and with
emotions only as a banknote represents a certain quantity of gold. I know that sort of feeling came to the
surface in me the moment the man Bagshawe told me that he had seen her coming out of that fellow's
bedroom. I thought suddenly that she wasn't real; she was just a mass of talk out of guidebooks, of drawings
out of fashionplates. It is even possible that, if that feeling had not possessed me, I should have run up
sooner to her room and might have prevented her drinking the prussic acid. But I just couldn't do it; it would
have been like chasing a scrap of paperan occupation ignoble for a grown man.
And, as it began, so that matter has remained. I didn't care whether she had come out of that bedroom or
whether she hadn't. It simply didn't interest me. Florence didn't matter.
I suppose you will retort that I was in love with Nancy Rufford and that my indifference was therefore
discreditable. Well, I am not seeking to avoid discredit. I was in love with Nancy Rufford as I am in love with
the poor child's memory, quietly and quite tenderly in my American sort of way. I had never thought about it
until I heard Leonora state that I might now marry her. But, from that moment until her worse than death, I do
not suppose that I much thought about anything else. I don't mean to say that I sighed about her or groaned; I
just wanted to marry her as some people want to go to Carcassonne.
Do you understand the feelingthe sort of feeling that you must get certain matters out of the way, smooth
out certain fairly negligible complications before you can go to a place that has, during all your life, been a
sort of dream city? I didn't attach much importance to my superior years. I was fortyfive, and she, poor
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thing, was only just rising twentytwo. But she was older than her years and quieter. She seemed to have an
odd quality of sainthood, as if she must inevitably end in a convent with a white coif framing her face. But
she had frequently told me that she had no vocation; it just simply wasn't therethe desire to become a nun.
Well, I guess that I was a sort of convent myself; it seemed fairly proper that she should make her vows to
me.
No, I didn't see any impediment on the score of age. I dare say no man does and I was pretty confident that
with a little preparation, I could make a young girl happy. I could spoil her as few young girls have ever been
spoiled; and I couldn't regard myself as personally repulsive. No man can, or if he ever comes to do so, that is
the end of him. But, as soon as I came out of my catalepsy, I seemed to perceive that my problemthat what
I had to do to prepare myself for getting into contact with her, was just to get back into contact with life. I had
been kept for twelve years in a rarefied atmosphere; what I then had to do was a little fighting with real life,
some wrestling with men of business, some travelling amongst larger cities, something harsh, something
masculine. I didn't want to present myself to Nancy Rufford as a sort of an old maid. That was why, just a
fortnight after Florence's suicide, I set off for the United States.
II
IMMEDIATELY after Florence's death Leonora began to put the leash upon Nancy Rufford and Edward. She
had guessed what had happened under the trees near the Casino. They stayed at Nauheim some weeks after I
went, and Leonora has told me that that was the most deadly time of her existence. It seemed like a long,
silent duel with invisible weapons, so she said. And it was rendered all the more difficult by the girl's entire
innocence. For Nancy was always trying to go off alone with Edwardas she had been doing all her life,
whenever she was home for holidays. She just wanted him to say nice things to her again.
You see, the position was extremely complicated. It was as complicated as it well could be, along delicate
lines. There was the complication caused by the fact that Edward and Leonora never spoke to each other
except when other people were present. Then, as I have said, their demeanours were quite perfect. There was
the complication caused by the girl's entire innocence; there was the further complication that both Edward
and Leonora really regarded the girl as their daughter. Or it might be more precise to say that they regarded
her as being Leonora's daughter. And Nancy was a queer girl; it is very difficult to describe her to you.
She was tall and strikingly thin; she had a tortured mouth, agonized eyes, and a quite extraordinary sense of
fun. You, might put it that at times she was exceedingly grotesque and at times extraordinarily beautiful.
Why, she had the heaviest head of black hair that I have ever come across; I used to wonder how she could
bear the weight of it. She was just over twentyone and at times she seemed as old as the hills, at times not
much more than sixteen. At one moment she would be talking of the lives of the saints and at the next she
would be tumbling all over the lawn with the St Bernard puppy. She could ride to hounds like a Maenad and
she could sit for hours perfectly still, steeping handkerchief after handkerchief in vinegar when Leonora had
one of her headaches. She was, in short, a miracle of patience who could be almost miraculously impatient. It
was, no doubt, the convent training that effected that. I remember that one of her letters to me, when she was
about sixteen, ran something like:
"On Corpus Christi"or it may have been some other saint's day, I cannot keep these things in my
head"our school played Roehampton at Hockey. And, seeing that our side was losing, being three goals to
one against us at halftime, we retired into the chapel and prayed for victory. We won by five goals to three."
And I remember that she seemed to describe afterwards a sort of saturnalia. Apparently, when the victorious
fifteen or eleven came into the refectory for supper, the whole school jumped upon the tables and cheered and
broke the chairs on the floor and smashed the crockeryfor a given time, until the Reverend Mother rang a
handbell. That is of course the Catholic traditionsaturnalia that can end in a moment, like the crack of a
whip. I don't, of course, like the tradition, but I am bound to say that it gave Nancyor at any rate Nancy
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hada sense of rectitude that I have never seen surpassed. It was a thing like a knife that looked out of her
eyes and that spoke with her voice, just now and then. It positively frightened me. I suppose that I was almost
afraid to be in a world where there could be so fine a standard. I remember when she was about fifteen or
sixteen on going back to the convent I once gave her a couple of English sovereigns as a tip. She thanked me
in a peculiarly heartfelt way, saying that it would come in extremely handy. I asked her why and she
explained. There was a rule at the school that the pupils were not to speak when they walked through the
garden from the chapel to the refectory. And, since this rule appeared to be idiotic and arbitrary, she broke it
on purpose day after day. In the evening the children were all asked if they had committed any faults during
the day, and every evening Nancy confessed that she had broken this particular rule. It cost her sixpence a
time, that being the fine attached to the offence. Just for the information I asked her why she always
confessed, and she answered in these exact words:
"Oh, well, the girls of the Holy Child have always been noted for their truthfulness. It's a beastly bore, but
I've got to do it."
I dare say that the miserable nature of her childhood, coming before the mixture of saturnalia and discipline
that was her convent life, added something to her queernesses. Her father was a violent madman of a fellow,
a major of one of what I believe are called the Highland regiments. He didn't drink, but he had an
ungovernable temper, and the first thing that Nancy could remember was seeing her father strike her mother
with his clenched fist so that her mother fell over sideways from the breakfasttable and lay motionless. The
mother was no doubt an irritating woman and the privates of that regiment appeared to have been irritating,
too, so that the house was a place of outcries and perpetual disturbances. Mrs Rufford was Leonora's dearest
friend and Leonora could be cutting enough at times. But I fancy she was as nothing to Mrs Rufford. The
Major would come in to lunch harassed and already spitting out oaths after an unsatisfactory morning's
drilling of his stubborn men beneath a hot sun. And then Mrs Rufford would make some cutting remark and
pandemonium would break loose. Once, when she had been about twelve, Nancy had tried to intervene
between the pair of them. Her father had struck her full upon the forehead a blow so terrible that she had lain
unconscious for three days. Nevertheless, Nancy seemed to prefer her father to her mother. She remembered
rough kindnesses from him. Once or twice when she had been quite small he had dressed her in a clumsy,
impatient, but very tender way. It was nearly always impossible to get a servant to stay in the family and, for
days at a time, apparently, Mrs Rufford would be incapable. I fancy she drank. At any rate, she had so cutting
a tongue that even Nancy was afraid of hershe so made fun of any tenderness, she so sneered at all
emotional displays. Nancy must have been a very emotional child.
Then one day, quite suddenly, on her return from a ride at Fort William, Nancy had been sent, with her
governess, who had a white face, right down South to that convent school. She had been expecting to go there
in two months' time. Her mother disappeared from her life at that time. A fortnight later Leonora came to the
convent and told her that her mother was dead. Perhaps she was. At any rate, I never heard until the very end
what became of Mrs Rufford. Leonora never spoke of her.
And then Major Rufford went to India, from which he returned very seldom and only for very short visits;
and Nancy lived herself gradually into the life at Branshaw Teleragh. I think that, from that time onwards, she
led a very happy life, till the end. There were dogs and horses and old servants and the Forest. And there were
Edward and Leonora, who loved her.
I had known her all the timeI mean, that she always came to the Ashburnhams' at Nauheim for the last
fortnight of their stayand I watched her gradually growing. She was very cheerful with me. She always
even kissed me, night and morning, until she was about eighteen. And she would skip about and fetch me
things and laugh at my tales of life in Philadelphia. But, beneath her gaiety, I fancy that there lurked some
terrors. I remember one day, when she was just eighteen, during one of her father's rare visits to Europe, we
were sitting in the gardens, near the ironstained fountain. Leonora had one of her headaches and we were
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waiting for Florence and Edward to come from their baths. You have no idea how beautiful Nancy looked
that morning.
We were talking about the desirability of taking tickets in lotteriesof the moral side of it, I mean. She was
all in white, and so tall and fragile; and she had only just put her hair up, so that the carriage of her neck had
that charming touch of youth and of unfamiliarity. Over her throat there played the reflection from a little
pool of water, left by a thunderstorm of the night before, and all the rest of her features were in the diffused
and luminous shade of her white parasol. Her dark hair just showed beneath her broad, white hat of pierced,
chip straw; her throat was very long and leaned forward, and her eyebrows, arching a little as she laughed at
some oldfashionedness in my phraseology, had abandoned their tense line. And there was a little colour in
her cheeks and light in her deep blue eyes. And to think that that vivid white thing, that saintly and swanlike
beingto think that. . . Why, she was like the sail of a ship, so white and so definite in her movements. And
to think that she will never . . . Why, she will never do anything again. I can't believe it . . .
Anyhow, we were chattering away about the morality of lotteries. And then, suddenly, there came from the
arcades behind us the overtones of her father's unmistakable voice; it was as if a modified foghorn had
boomed with a reed inside it. I looked round to catch sight of him. A tall, fair, stiffly upright man of fifty, he
was walking away with an Italian baron who had had much to do with the Belgian Congo. They must have
been talking about the proper treatment of natives, for I heard him say:
"Oh, hang humanity!"
When I looked again at Nancy her eyes were closed and her face was more pallid than her dress, which had at
least some pinkish reflections from the gravel. It was dreadful to see her with her eyes closed like that.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, and her hand that had appeared to be groping, settled for a moment on my arm. "Never
speak of it. Promise never to tell my father of it. It brings back those dreadful dreams . . ." And, when she
opened her eyes she looked straight into mine. "The blessed saints," she said, "you would think they would
spare you such things. I don't believe all the sinning in the world could make one deserve them."
They say the poor thing was always allowed a light at night, even in her bedroom. . . . And yet, no young girl
could more archly and lovingly have played with an adored father. She was always holding him by both coat
lapels; crossquestioning him as to how he spent his time; kissing the top of his head. Ah, she was wellbred,
if ever anyone was.
The poor, wretched man cringed before herbut she could not have done more to put him at his ease.
Perhaps she had had lessons in it at her convent. It was only that peculiar note of his voice, used when he was
overbearing or dogmatic, that could unman herand that was only visible when it came unexpectedly. That
was because the bad dreams that the blessed saints allowed her to have for her sins always seemed to her to
herald themselves by the booming sound of her father's voice. It was that sound that had always preceded his
entrance for the terrible lunches of her childhood. . . .
I have reported, earlier in this chapter, that Leonora said, during that remainder of their stay at Nauheim, after
I had left, it had seemed to her that she was fighting a long duel with unseen weapons against silent
adversaries. Nancy, as I have also said, was always trying to go off with Edward alone. That had been her
habit for years. And Leonora found it to be her duty to stop that. It was very difficult. Nancy was used to
having her own way, and for years she had been used to going off with Edward, ratting, rabbiting, catching
salmon down at Fordingbridge, districtvisiting of the sort that Edward indulged in, or calling on the tenants.
And at Nauheim she and Edward had always gone up to the Casino alone in the eveningsat any rate,
whenever Florence did not call for his attendance. It shows the obviously innocent nature of the regard of
those two that even Florence had never had any idea of jealousy. Leonora had cultivated the habit of going to
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bed at ten o'clock.
I don't know how she managed it, but, for all the time they were at Nauheim, she contrived never to let those
two be alone together, except in broad daylight, in very crowded places. If a Protestant had done that it would
no doubt have awakened a selfconsciousness in the girl. But Catholics, who have always reservations and
queer spots of secrecy, can manage these things better. And I dare say that two things made this easierthe
death of Florence and the fact that Edward was obviously sickening. He appeared, indeed, to be very ill; his
shoulders began to be bowed; there were pockets under his eyes; he had extraordinary moments of
inattention.
And Leonora describes herself as watching him as a fierce cat watches an unconscious pigeon in a roadway.
In that silent watching, again, I think she was a Catholicof a people that can think thoughts alien to ours
and keep them to themselves. And the thoughts passed through her mind; some of them even got through to
Edward with never a word spoken. At first she thought that it might be remorse, or grief, for the death of
Florence that was oppressing him. But she watched and watched, and uttered apparently random sentences
about Florence before the girl, and she perceived that he had no grief and no remorse. He had not any idea
that Florence could have committed suicide without writing at least a tirade to him. The absence of that made
him certain that it had been heart disease. For Florence had never undeceived him on that point. She thought
it made her seem more romantic.
No, Edward had no remorse. He was able to say to himself that he had treated Florence with gallant
attentiveness of the kind that she desired until two hours before her death. Leonora gathered that from the
look in his eyes, and from the way he straightened his shoulders over her as she lay in her coffinfrom that
and a thousand other little things. She would speak suddenly about Florence to the girl and he would not start
in the least; he would not even pay attention, but would sit with bloodshot eyes gazing at the tablecloth. He
drank a good deal, at that timea steady soaking of drink every evening till long after they had gone to bed.
For Leonora made the girl go to bed at ten, unreasonable though that seemed to Nancy. She would understand
that, whilst they were in a sort of half mourning for Florence, she ought not to be seen at public places, like
the Casino; but she could not see why she should not accompany her uncle upon his evening strolls though
the park. I don't know what Leonora put up as an excusesomething, I fancy, in the nature of a nightly
orison that she made the girl and herself perform for the soul of Florence. And then, one evening, about a
fortnight later, when the girl, growing restive at even devotional exercises, clamoured once more to be
allowed to go for a walk with Edward, and when Leonora was really at her wits' end, Edward gave himself
into her hands. He was just standing up from dinner and had his face averted.
But he turned his heavy head and his bloodshot eyes upon his wife and looked full at her.
"Doctor von Hauptmann," he said, "has ordered me to go to bed immediately after dinner. My heart's much
worse."
He continued to look at Leonora for a long minutewith a sort of heavy contempt. And Leonora understood
that, with his speech, he was giving her the excuse that she needed for separating him from the girl, and with
his eyes he was reproaching her for thinking that he would try to corrupt Nancy.
He went silently up to his room and sat there for a long timeuntil the girl was well in bedreading in the
Anglican prayerbook. And about halfpast ten she heard his footsteps pass her door, going outwards. Two
and a half hours later they came back, stumbling heavily.
She remained, reflecting upon this position until the last night of their stay at Nauheim. Then she suddenly
acted. For, just in the same way, suddenly after dinner, she looked at him and said:
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"Teddy, don't you think you could take a night off from your doctor's orders and go with Nancy to the
Casino. The poor child has had her visit so spoiled."
He looked at her in turn for a long, balancing minute.
"Why, yes," he said at last.
Nancy jumped out of her chair and kissed him.
Those two words, Leonora said, gave her the greatest relief of any two syllables she had ever heard in her
life. For she realized that Edward was breaking up, not under the desire for possession, but from the dogged
determination to hold his hand. She could relax some of her vigilance.
Nevertheless, she sat in the darkness behind her halfclosed jalousies, looking over the street and the night
and the trees until, very late, she could hear Nancy's clear voice coming closer and saying:
"You did look an old guy with that false nose."
There had been some sort of celebration of a local holiday up in the Kursaal. And Edward replied with his
sort of sulky good nature:
"As for you, you looked like old Mother Sideacher."
The girl came swinging along, a silhouette beneath a gaslamp; Edward, another, slouched at her side. They
were talking just as they had talked any time since the girl had been seventeen; with the same tones, the same
joke about an old beggar woman who always amused them at Branshaw. The girl, a little later, opened
Leonora's door whilst she was still kissing Edward on the forehead as she had done every night.
"We've had a most glorious time," she said. "He's ever so much better. He raced me for twenty yards home.
Why are you all in the dark?"
Leonora could hear Edward going about in his room, but, owing to the girl's chatter, she could not tell
whether he went out again or not. And then, very much later, because she thought that if he were drinking
again something must be done to stop it, she opened for the first time, and very softly, the neveropened door
between their rooms. She wanted to see if he had gone out again. Edward was kneeling beside his bed with
his head hidden in the counterpane. His arms, outstretched, held out before him a little image of the Blessed
Virgina tawdry, scarlet and Prussian blue affair that the girl had given him on her first return from the
convent. His shoulders heaved convulsively three times, and heavy sobs came from him before she could
close the door. He was not a Catholic; but that was the way it took him.
Leonora slept for the first time that night with a sleep from which she never once started.
III
AND then Leonora completely broke downon the day that they returned to Branshaw Teleragh. It is the
infliction of our miserable mindsit is the scourge of atrocious but probably just destiny that no grief comes
by itself. No, any great grief, though the grief itself may have gone, leaves in its place a train of horrors, of
misery, and despair. For Leonora was, in herself, relieved. She felt that she could trust Edward with the girl
and she knew that Nancy could be absolutely trusted. And then, with the slackening of her vigilance, came
the slackening of her entire mind. This is perhaps the most miserable part of the entire story. For it is
miserable to see a clean intelligence waver; and Leonora wavered.
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You are to understand that Leonora loved Edward with a passion that was yet like an agony of hatred. And
she had lived with him for years and years without addressing to him one word of tenderness. I don't know
how she could do it. At the beginning of that relationship she had been just married off to him. She had been
one of seven daughters in a bare, untidy Irish manorhouse to which she had returned from the convent I
have so often spoken of. She had left it just a year and she was just nineteen. It is impossible to imagine such
inexperience as was hers. You might almost say that she had never spoken to a man except a priest. Coming
straight from the convent, she had gone in behind the high walls of the manorhouse that was almost more
cloistral than any convent could have been. There were the seven girls, there was the strained mother, there
was the worried father at whom, three times in the course of that year, the tenants took potshots from behind
a hedge. The womenfolk, upon the whole, the tenants respected. Once a week each of the girls, since there
were seven of them, took a drive with the mother in the old basketwork chaise drawn by a very fat, very
lumbering pony. They paid occasionally a call, but even these were so rare that, Leonora has assured me,
only three times in the year that succeeded her coming home from the convent did she enter another person's
house. For the rest of the time the seven sisters ran about in the neglected gardens between the unpruned
espaliers. Or they played lawntennis or fives in an angle of a great wall that surrounded the gardenan
angle from which the fruit trees had long died away. They painted in watercolour; they embroidered; they
copied verses into albums. Once a week they went to Mass; once a week to the confessional, accompanied by
an old nurse. They were happy since they had known no other life.
It appeared to them a singular extravagance when, one day, a photographer was brought over from the county
town and photographed them standing, all seven, in the shadow of an old apple tree with the grey lichen on
the raddled trunk.
But it wasn't an extravagance.
Three weeks before Colonel Powys had written to Colonel Ashburnham:
"I say, Harry, couldn't your Edward marry one of my girls? It would be a godsend to me, for I'm at the end
of my tether and, once one girl begins to go off, the rest of them will follow."
He went on to say that all his daughters were tall, upstanding, cleanlimbed and absolutely pure, and he
reminded Colonel Ashburnham that, they having been married on the same day, though in different churches,
since the one was a Catholic and the other an Anglicanthey had said to each other, the night before, that,
when the time came, one of their sons should marry one of their daughters. Mrs Ashburnham had been a
Powys and remained Mrs Powys' dearest friend. They had drifted about the world as English soldiers do,
seldom meeting, but their women always in correspondence one with another. They wrote about minute
things such as the teething of Edward and of the earlier daughters or the best way to repair a Jacob's ladder in
a stocking. And, if they met seldom, yet it was often enough to keep each other's personalities fresh in their
minds, gradually growing a little stiff in the joints, but always with enough to talk about and with a store of
reminiscences. Then, as his girls began to come of age when they must leave the convent in which they were
regularly interned during his years of active service, Colonel Powys retired from the army with the necessity
of making a home for them. It happened that the Ashburnhams had never seen any of the Powys girls,
though, whenever the four parents met in London, Edward Ashburnham was always of the party. He was at
that time twentytwo and, I believe, almost as pure in mind as Leonora herself. It is odd how a boy can have
his virgin intelligence untouched in this world.
That was partly due to the careful handling of his mother, partly to the fact that the house to which he went at
Winchester had a particularly pure tone and partly to Edward's own peculiar aversion from anything like
coarse language or gross stories. At Sandhurst he had just kept out of the way of that sort of thing. He was
keen on soldiering, keen on mathematics, on landsurveying, on politics and, by a queer warp of his mind, on
literature. Even when he was twentytwo he would pass hours reading one of Scott's novels or the Chronicles
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of Froissart.
Mrs Ashburnham considered that she was to be congratulated, and almost every week she wrote to Mrs
Powys, dilating upon her satisfaction.
Then, one day, taking a walk down Bond Street with her son, after having been at Lord's, she noticed Edward
suddenly turn his head round to take a second look at a welldressed girl who had passed them. She wrote
about that, too, to Mrs Powys, and expressed some alarm. It had been, on Edward's part, the merest reflex
action. He was so very abstracted at that time owing to the pressure his crammer was putting upon him that
he certainly hadn't known what he was doing.
It was this letter of Mrs Ashburnham's to Mrs Powys that had caused the letter from Colonel Powys to
Colonel Ashburnhama letter that was halfhumorous, half longing. Mrs Ashburnham caused her husband
to reply, with a letter a little more jocularsomething to the effect that Colonel Powys ought to give them
some idea of the goods that he was marketing. That was the cause of the photograph. I have seen it, the seven
girls, all in white dresses, all very much alike in featureall, except Leonora, a little heavy about the chins
and a little stupid about the eyes. I dare say it would have made Leonora, too, look a little heavy and a little
stupid, for it was not a good photograph. But the black shadow from one of the branches of the apple tree cut
right across her face, which is all but invisible.
There followed an extremely harassing time for Colonel and Mrs Powys. Mrs Ashburnham had written to say
that, quite sincerely, nothing would give greater ease to her maternal anxieties than to have her son marry one
of Mrs Powys' daughters if only he showed some inclination to do so. For, she added, nothing but a
lovematch was to be thought of in her Edward's case. But the poor Powys couple had to run things so very
fine that even the bringing together of the young people was a desperate hazard.
The mere expenditure upon sending one of the girls over from Ireland to Branshaw was terrifying to them;
and whichever girl they selected might not be the one to ring Edward's bell. On the other hand, the
expenditure upon mere food and extra sheets for a visit from the Ashburnhams to them was terrifying, too. It
would mean, mathematically, going short in so many meals themselves, afterwards. Nevertheless, they
chanced it, and all the three Ashburnhams came on a visit to the lonely manorhouse. They could give
Edward some rough shooting, some rough fishing and a whirl of femininity; but I should say the girls made
really more impression upon Mrs Ashburnham than upon Edward himself. They appeared to her to be so
clean run and so safe. They were indeed so clean run that, in a faint sort of way, Edward seems to have
regarded them rather as boys than as girls. And then, one evening, Mrs Ashburnham had with her boy one of
those conversations that English mothers have with English sons. It seems to have been a criminal sort of
proceeding, though I don't know what took place at it. Anyhow, next morning Colonel Ashburnham asked on
behalf of his son for the hand of Leonora. This caused some consternation to the Powys couple, since
Leonora was the third daughter and Edward ought to have married the eldest. Mrs Powys, with her rigid
sense of the proprieties, almost wished to reject the proposal. But the Colonel, her husband, pointed out that
the visit would have cost them sixty pounds, what with the hire of an extra servant, of a horse and car, and
with the purchase of beds and bedding and extra tablecloths. There was nothing else for it but the marriage. In
that way Edward and Leonora became man and wife.
I don't know that a very minute study of their progress towards complete disunion is necessary. Perhaps it is.
But there are many things that I cannot well make out, about which I cannot well question Leonora, or about
which Edward did not tell me. I do not know that there was ever any question of love from Edward to her. He
regarded her, certainly, as desirable amongst her sisters. He was obstinate to the extent of saying that if he
could not have her he would not have any of them. And, no doubt, before the marriage, he made her pretty
speeches out of books that he had read. But, as far as he could describe his feelings at all, later, it seems that,
calmly and without any quickening of the pulse, he just carried the girl off, there being no opposition . It had,
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however, been all so long ago that it seemed to him, at the end of his poor life, a dim and misty affair. He had
the greatest admiration for Leonora.
He had the very greatest admiration. He admired her for her truthfulness, for her cleanness of mind, and the
cleanrunness of her limbs, for her efficiency, for the fairness of her skin, for the gold of her hair, for her
religion, for her sense of duty. It was a satisfaction to take her about with him.
But she had not for him a touch of magnetism. I suppose, really, he did not love her because she was never
mournful; what really made him feel good in life was to comfort somebody who would be darkly and
mysteriously mournful. That he had never had to do for Leonora. Perhaps, also, she was at first too obedient.
I do not mean to say that she was submissive that she deferred, in her j udgements, to his. She did not. But
she had been handed over to him, like some patient medieval virgin; she had been taught all her life that the
first duty of a woman is to obey. And there she was.
In her, at least, admiration for his qualities very soon became love of the deepest description. If his pulses
never quickened she, so I have been told, became what is called an altered being when he approached her
from the other side of a dancingfloor. Her eyes followed him about full of trustfulness, of admiration, of
gratitude, and of love. He was also, in a great sense, her pastor and guideand he guided her into what, for a
girl straight out of a convent, was almost heaven. I have not the least idea of what an English officer's wife's
existence may be like. At any rate, there were feasts, and chatterings, and nice men who gave her the right
sort of admiration, and nice women who treated her as if she had been a baby. And her confessor approved of
her life, and Edward let her give little treats to the girls of the convent she had left, and the Reverend Mother
approved of him. There could not have been a happier girl for five or six years.
For it was only at the end of that time that clouds began, as the saying is, to arise. She was then about
twentythree, and her purposeful efficiency made her perhaps have a desire for mastery. She began to
perceive that Edward was extravagant in his largesses. His parents died just about that time, and Edward,
though they both decided that he should continue his soldiering, gave a great deal of attention to the
management of Branshaw through a steward. Aldershot was not very far away, and they spent all his leaves
there.
And, suddenly, she seemed to begin to perceive that his generosities were almost fantastic. He subscribed
much too much to things connected with his mess, he pensioned off his father's servants, old or new, much
too generously. They had a large income, but every now and then they would find themselves hard up. He
began to talk of mortgaging a farm or two, though it never actually came to that.
She made tentative efforts at remonstrating with him. Her father, whom she saw now and then, said that
Edward was much too generous to his tenants; the wives of his brother officers remonstrated with her in
private; his large subscriptions made it difficult for their husbands to keep up with them. Ironically enough,
the first real trouble between them came from his desire to build a Roman Catholic chapel at Branshaw. He
wanted to do it to honour Leonora, and he proposed to do it very expensively. Leonora did not want it; she
could perfectly well drive from Branshaw to the nearest Catholic Church as often as she liked. There were no
Roman Catholic tenants and no Roman Catholic servants except her old nurse who could always drive with
her. She had as many priests to stay with her as could be neededand even the priests did not want a
gorgeous chapel in that place where it would have merely seemed an invidious instance of ostentation. They
were perfectly ready to celebrate Mass for Leonora and her nurse, when they stayed at Branshaw, in a
cleanedup outhouse. But Edward was as obstinate as a hog about it.
He was truly grieved at his wife's want of sentimentat her refusal to receive that amount of public homage
from him. She appeared to him to be wanting in imaginationto be cold and hard. I don't exactly know what
part her priests played in the tragedy that it all became; I dare say they behaved quite creditably but
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mistakenly. But then, who would not have been mistaken with Edward? I believe he was even hurt that
Leonora's confessor did not make strenuous efforts to convert him. There was a period when he was quite
ready to become an emotional Catholic.
I don't know why they did not take him on the hop; but they have queer sorts of wisdoms, those people, and
queer sorts of tact. Perhaps they thought that Edward's too early conversion would frighten off other
Protestant desirables from marrying Catholic girls. Perhaps they saw deeper into Edward than he saw himself
and thought that he would make a not very creditable convert. At any rate theyand Leonoraleft him very
much alone. It mortified him very considerably. He has told me that if Leonora had then taken his aspirations
seriously everything would have been different. But I dare say that was nonsense.
At any rate, it was over the question of the chapel that they had their first and really disastrous quarrel.
Edward at that time was not well; he supposed himself to be overworked with his regimental affairshe was
managing the mess at the time. And Leonora was not wellshe was beginning to fear that their union might
be sterile. And then her father came over from Glasmoyle to stay with them.
Those were troublesome times in Ireland, I understand. At any rate, Colonel Powys had tenants on the
brainhis own tenants having shot at him with shotguns. And, in conversation with Edward's
landsteward, he got it into his head that Edward managed his estates with a mad generosity towards his
tenants. I understand, also, that those yearsthe 'ninetieswere very bad for farming. Wheat was fetching
only a few shillings the hundred; the price of meat was so low that cattle hardly paid for raising; whole
English counties were ruined. And Edward allowed his tenants very high rebates.
To do both justice Leonora has since acknowledged that she was in the wrong at that time and that Edward
was following out a more farseeing policy in nursing his really very good tenants over a bad period. It was
not as if the whole of his money came from the land; a good deal of it was in rails. But old Colonel Powys
had that bee in his bonnet and, if he never directly approached Edward himself on the subject, he preached
unceasingly, whenever he had the opportunity, to Leonora. His pet idea was that Edward ought to sack all his
own tenants and import a set of farmers from Scotland. That was what they were doing in Essex. He was of
opinion that Edward was riding hotfoot to ruin.
That worried Leonora very muchit worried her dreadfully; she lay awake nights; she had an anxious line
round her mouth. And that, again, worried Edward. I do not mean to say that Leonora actually spoke to
Edward about his tenantsbut he got to know that some one, probably her father, had been talking to her
about the matter. He got to know it because it was the habit of his steward to look in on them every morning
about breakfasttime to report any little happenings. And there was a farmer called Mumford who had only
paid half his rent for the last three years. One morning the landsteward reported that Mumford would be
unable to pay his rent at all that year. Edward reflected for a moment and then he said something like:
"Oh well, he's an old fellow and his family have been our tenants for over two hundred years. Let him off
altogether."
And then Leonorayou must remember that she had reason for being very nervous and unhappy at that
timelet out a sound that was very like a groan. It startled Edward, who more than suspected what was
passing in her mindit startled him into a state of anger. He said sharply:
"You wouldn't have me turn out people who've been earning money for us for centuriespeople to whom
we have responsibilitiesand let in a pack of Scotch farmers?"
He looked at her, Leonora said, with what was practically a glance of hatred and then, precipitately, he left
the breakfasttable. Leonora knew that it probably made it all the worse that he had been betrayed into a
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manifestation of anger before a third party. It was the first and last time that he ever was betrayed into such a
manifestation of anger. The landsteward, a moderate and wellbalanced man whose family also had been
with the Ashburnhams for over a century, took it upon himself to explain that he considered Edward was
pursuing a perfectly proper course with his tenants. He erred perhaps a little on the side of generosity, but
hard times were hard times, and every one had to feel the pinch, landlord as well as tenants. The great thing
was not to let the land get into a poor state of cultivation. Scotch farmers just skinned your fields and let them
go down and down. But Edward had a very good set of tenants who did their best for him and for themselves.
These arguments at that time carried very little conviction to Leonora. She was, nevertheless, much
concerned by Edward's outburst of anger.
The fact is that Leonora had been practising economies in her department. Two of the underhousemaids had
gone and she had not replaced them; she had spent much less that year upon dress. The fare she had provided
at the dinners they gave had been much less bountiful and not nearly so costly as had been the case in
preceding years, and Edward began to perceive a hardness and determination in his wife's character. He
seemed to see a net closing round hima net in which they would be forced to live like one of the
comparatively poor county families of the neighbourhood. And, in the mysterious way in which two people,
living together, get to know each other's thoughts without a word spoken, he had known, even before his
outbreak, that Leonora was worrying about his managing of the estates. This appeared to him to be
intolerable. He had, too, a great feeling of selfcontempt because he had been betrayed into speaking harshly
to Leonora before that landsteward. She imagined that his nerve must be deserting him, and there can have
been few men more miserable than Edward was at that period.
You see, he was really a very simple soulvery simple. He imagined that no man can satisfactorily
accomplish his life's work without loyal and wholehearted cooperation of the woman he lives with. And he
was beginning to perceive dimly that, whereas his own traditions were entirely collective, his wife was a
sheer individualist. His own theorythe feudal theory of an overlord doing his best by his dependents, the
dependents meanwhile doing their best for the overlordthis theory was entirely foreign to Leonora's
nature. She came of a family of small Irish landlordsthat hostile garrison in a plundered country. And she
was thinking unceasingly of the children she wished to have.
I don't know why they never had any childrennot that I really believe that children would have made any
difference. The dissimilarity of Edward and Leonora was too profound. It will give you some idea of the
extraordinary naïveté of Edward Ashburnham that, at the time of his marriage and for perhaps a couple of
years after, he did not really know how children are produced. Neither did Leonora. I don't mean to say that
this state of things continued, but there it was. I dare say it had a good deal of influence on their mentalities.
At any rate, they never had a child. It was the Will of God.
It certainly presented itself to Leonora as being the Will of Godas being a mysterious and awful
chastisement of the Almighty. For she had discovered shortly before this period that her parents had not
exacted from Edward's family the promise that any children she should bear should be brought up as
Catholics. She herself had never talked of the matter with either her father, her mother, or her husband. When
at last her father had let drop some words leading her to believe that that was the fact, she tried desperately to
extort the promise from Edward. She encountered an unexpected obstinacy. Edward was perfectly willing
that the girls should be Catholic; the boys must be Anglican. I don't understand the bearing of these things in
English society. Indeed, Englishmen seem to me to be a little mad in matters of politics or of religion. In
Edward it was particularly queer because he himself was perfectly ready to become a Romanist. He seemed,
however, to contemplate going over to Rome himself and yet letting his boys be educated in the religion of
their immediate ancestors. This may appear illogical, but I dare say it is not so illogical as it looks. Edward,
that is to say, regarded himself as having his own body and soul at his own disposal. But his loyalty to the
traditions of his family would not permit him to bind any future inheritors of his name or beneficiaries by the
death of his ancestors. About the girls it did not so much matter. They would know other homes and other
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circumstances. Besides, it was the usual thing. But the boys must be given the opportunity of choosingand
they must have first of all the Anglican teaching. He was perfectly unshakable about this.
Leonora was in an agony during all this time. You will have to remember she seriously believed that children
who might be born to her went in danger, if not absolutely of damnation, at any rate of receiving false
doctrine. It was an agony more terrible than she could describe. She didn't indeed attempt to describe it, but I
could tell from her voice when she said, almost negligently, "I used to lie awake whole nights. It was no good
my spiritual advisers trying to console me." I knew from her voice how terrible and how long those nights
must have seemed and of how little avail were the consolations of her spiritual advisers. Her spiritual advisers
seemed to have taken the matter a little more calmly. They certainly told her that she must not consider
herself in any way to have sinned. Nay, they seem even to have extorted, to have threatened her, with a view
to getting her out of what they considered to be a morbid frame of mind. She would just have to make the
best of things, to influence the children when they came, not by propaganda, but by personality. And they
warned her that she would be committing a sin if she continued to think that she had sinned. Nevertheless,
she continued to think that she had sinned.
Leonora could not be aware that the man whom she loved passionately and whom, nevertheless, she was
beginning to try to rule with a rod of ironthat this man was becoming more and more estranged from her.
He seemed to regard her as being not only physically and mentally cold, but even as being actually wicked
and mean. There were times when he would almost shudder if she spoke to him. And she could not
understand how he could consider her wicked or mean. It only seemed to her a sort of madness in him that he
should try to take upon his own shoulders the burden of his troop, of his regiment, of his estate and of half of
his country. She could not see that in trying to curb what she regarded as megalomania she was doing
anything wicked. She was just trying to keep things together for the sake of the children who did not come.
And, little by little, the whole of their intercourse became simply one of agonized discussion as to whether
Edward should subscribe to this or that institution or should try to reclaim this or that drunkard. She simply
could not see it.
Into this really terrible position of strain, from which there appeared to be no issue, the Kilsyte case came
almost as a relief. It is part of the peculiar irony of things that Edward would certainly never have kissed that
nursemaid if he had not been trying to please Leonora. Nursemaids do not travel firstclass, and, that day,
Edward travelled in a thirdclass carriage in order to prove to Leonora that he was capable of economies. I
have said that the Kilsyte case came almost as a relief to the strained situation that then existed between them.
It gave Leonora an opportunity of backing him up in a wholehearted and absolutely loyal manner. It gave
her the opportunity of behaving to him as he considered a wife should behave to her husband.
You see, Edward found himself in a railway carriage with a quite pretty girl of about nineteen. And the quite
pretty girl of about nineteen, with dark hair and red cheeks and blue eyes, was quietly weeping. Edward had
been sitting in his corner thinking about nothing at all. He had chanced to look at the nursemaid; two large,
pretty tears came out of her eyes and dropped into her lap. He immediately felt that he had got to do
something to comfort her. That was his job in life. He was desperately unhappy himself and it seemed to him
the most natural thing in the world that they should pool their sorrows. He was quite democratic; the idea of
the difference in their station never seems to have occurred to him. He began to talk to her. He discovered
that her young man had been seen walking out with Annie of Number 54. He moved over to her side of the
carriage. He told her that the report probably wasn't true; that, after all, a young man might take a walk with
Annie from Number 54 without its denoting anything very serious. And he assured me that he felt at least
quite halffatherly when he put his arm around her waist and kissed her. The girl, however, had not forgotten
the difference of her station.
All her life, by her mother, by other girls, by schoolteachers, by the whole tradition of her class she had been
warned against gentlemen. She was being kissed by a gentleman. She screamed, tore herself away; sprang up
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and pulled a communication cord.
Edward came fairly well out of the affair in the public estimation; but it did him, mentally, a good deal of
harm.
IV
IT is very difficult to give an allround impression of an man. I wonder how far I have succeeded with
Edward Ashburnham. I dare say I haven't succeeded at all. It is ever very difficult to see how such things
matter. Was it the important point about poor Edward that he was very well built, carried himself well, was
moderate at the table and led a regular lifethat he had, in fact, all the virtues that are usually accounted
English? Or have I in the least succeeded in conveying that he was all those things and had all those virtues?
He certainly was them and had them up to the last months of his life. They were the things that one would set
upon his tombstone. They will, indeed, be set upon his tombstone by his widow.
And have I, I wonder, given the due impression of how his life was portioned and his time laid out? Because,
until the very last, the amount of time taken up by his various passions was relatively small. I have been
forced to write very much about his passions, but you have to considerI should like to be able to make you
considerthat he rose every morning at seven, took a cold bath, breakfasted at eight, was occupied with his
regiment from nine until one; played polo or cricket with the men when it was the season for cricket, till
teatime. Afterwards he would occupy himself with the letters from his landsteward or with the affairs of
his mess, till dinnertime. He would dine and pass the evening playing cards, or playing billiards with
Leonora or at social functions of one kind or another. And the greater part of his life was taken up by
thatby far the greater part of his life. His loveaffairs, until the very end, were sandwiched in at odd
moments or took place during the social evenings, the dances and dinners. But I guess I have made it hard for
you, O silent listener, to get that impression. Anyhow, I hope I have not given you the idea that Edward
Ashburnham was a pathological case. He wasn't. He was just a normal man and very much of a
sentimentalist. I dare say the quality of his youth, the nature of his mother's influence, his ignorances, the
crammings that he received at the hands of army coachesI dare say that all these excellent influences upon
his adolescence were very bad for him. But we all have to put up with that sort of thing and no doubt it is
very bad for all of us. Nevertheless, the outline of Edward's life was an outline perfectly normal of the life of
a hardworking, sentimental and efficient professional man.
That question of first impressions has always bothered me a good deal but quite academically. I mean that,
from time to time I have wondered whether it were or were not best to trust to one's first impressions in
dealing with people. But I never had anybody to deal with except waiters and chambermaids and the
Ashburnhams, with whom I didn't know that I was having any dealings. And, as far as waiters and
chambermaids were concerned, I have generally found that my first impressions were correct enough. If my
first idea of a man was that he was civil, obliging, and attentive, he generally seemed to go on being all those
things. Once, however, at our Paris flat we had a maid who appeared to be charming and transparently
honest. She stole, nevertheless, one of Florence's diamond rings. She did it, however, to save her young man
from going to prison. So here, as somebody says somewhere, was a special case.
And, even in my short incursion into American business lifean incursion that lasted during part of August
and nearly the whole of SeptemberI found that to rely upon first impressions was the best thing I could do.
I found myself automatically docketing and labelling each man as he was introduced to me, by the run of his
features and by the first words that he spoke. I can't, however, be regarded as really doing business during the
time that I spent in the United States. I was just winding things up. If it hadn't been for my idea of marrying
the girl I might possibly hav looked for something to do in my own country. For my experiences there were
vivid and amusing. It was exactly as if I had come out of a museum into a riotous fancydress ball. During
my life with Florence I had almost come to forget that there were such things as fashions or occupations or
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the greed of gain. I had, in fact, forgotten that there was such a thing as a dollar and that a dollar can be
extremely desirable if you don't happen to possess one. And I had forgotten, too, that there was such a thing
as gossip that mattered. In that particular, Philadelphia was the most amazing place I have ever been in in my
life. I was not in that city for more than a week or ten days and I didn't there transact anything much in the
way of business; nevertheless, the number of times that I was warned by everybody against everybody else
was simply amazing. A man I didn't know would come up behind my lounge chair in the hotel, and,
whispering cautiously beside my ear, would warn me against some other man that I equally didn't know but
who would be standing by the bar. I don't know what they thought I was there to doperhaps to buy out the
city's debt or get a controlling hold of some railway interest. Or, perhaps, they imagined that I wanted to buy
a newspaper, for they were either politicians or reporters, which, of course, comes to the same thing. As a
matter of fact, my property in Philadelphia was mostly real estate in the oldfashioned part of the city and all
I wanted to do there was just to satisfy myself that the houses were in good repair and the doors kept properly
painted. I wanted also to see my relations, of whom I had a few. These were mostly professional people and
they were mostly rather hard up because of the big bank failure in 1907 or thereabouts. Still, they were very
nice. They would have been nicer still if they hadn't, all of them, had what appeared to me to be the mania
that what they called influences were working against them. At any rate, the impression of that city was one
of oldfashioned rooms, rather English than American in type, in which handsome but careworn ladies,
cousins of my own, talked principally about mysterious movements that were going on against them. I never
got to know what it was all about; perhaps they thought I knew or perhaps there weren't any movements at
all. It was all very secret and subtle and subterranean. But there was a nice young fellow called Carter who
was a sort of secondnephew of mine, twice removed. He was handsome and dark and gentie and tall and
modest. I understand also that he was a good cricketer. He was employed by the realestate agents who
collected my rents. It was he, therefore, who took me over my own property and I saw a good deal of him and
of a nice girl called Mary, to whom he was engaged. At that time I did, what I certainly shouldn't do nowI
made some careful inquiries as to his character. I discovered from his employers that he was just all that he
appeared, honest, industrious, highspirited, friendly and ready to do anyone a good turn. His relatives,
however, as they were mine, tooseemed to have something darkly mysterious against him. I imagined that
he must have been mixed up in some case of graft or that he had at least betrayed several innocent and
trusting maidens. I pushed, however, that particular mystery home and discovered it was only that he was a
Democrat. My own people were mostly Republicans. It seemed to make it worse and more darkly mysterious
to them that young Carter was what they called a sort of a Vermont Democrat which was the whole ticket and
no mistake. But I don't know what it means. Anyhow, I suppose that my money will go to him when I dieI
like the recollection of his friendly image and of the nice girl he was engaged to. May Fate deal very kindly
with them.
I have said just now that, in my present frame of mind, nothing would ever make me make inquiries as to the
character of any man that I liked at first sight. (The little digression as to my Philadelphia experiences was
really meant to lead around to this.) For who in this world can give anyone a character? Who in this world
knows anything of any other heartor of his own? I don't mean to say that one cannot form an average
estimate of the way a person will behave. But one cannot be certain of the way any man will behave in every
caseand until one can do that a "character" is of no use to anyone. That, for instance, was the way with
Florence's maid in Paris. We used to trust that girl with blank cheques for the payment of the tradesmen. For
quite a time she was so trusted by us. Then, suddenly, she stole a ring. We should not have believed her
capable of it; she would not have believed herself capable of it. It was nothing in her character. So, perhaps, it
was with Edward Ashburnham.
Or, perhaps, it wasn't. No, I rather think it wasn't. It is difficult to figure out. I have said that the Kilsyte case
eased the immediate tension for him and Leonora. It let him see that she was capable of loyalty to him; it
gave her her chance to show that she believed in him. She accepted without question his statement that, in
kissing the girl, he wasn't trying to do more than administer fatherly comfort to a weeping child. And, indeed,
his own worldincluding the magistratestook that view of the case. Whatever people say, one's world can
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be perfectly charitable at times . . . But, again, as I have said, it did Edward a great deal of harm.
That, at least, was his view of it. He assured me that, before that case came on and was wrangled about by
counsel with all sorts of dirtymindedness that counsel in that sort of case can impute, he had not had the
least idea that he was capable of being unfaithful to Leonora. But, in the midst of that tumulthe says that it
came suddenly into his head whilst he was in the witnessboxin the midst of those august ceremonies of
the law there came suddenly into his mind the recollection of the softness of the girl's body as he had pressed
her to him. And, from that moment, that girl appeared desirable to himand Leonora completely
unattractive.
He began to indulge in daydreams in which he approached the nursemaid more tactfully and carried the
matter much further. Occasionally he thought of other women in terms of wary courtshipor, perhaps, it
would be more exact to say that he thought of them in terms of tactful comforting, ending in absorption. That
was his own view of the case. He saw himself as the victim of the law. I don't mean to say that he saw
himself as a kind of Dreyfus. The law, practically, was quite kind to him. It stated that in its view Captain
Ashburnham had been misled by an illplaced desire to comfort a member of the opposite sex, and it fined
him five shilling for his want of tact, or of knowledge of the world. But Edward maintained that it had put
ideas into his head.
I don't believe it, though he certainly did. He was twentyseven then, and his wife was out of sympathy with
himsome crash was inevitable. There was between them a momentary rapprochement; but it could not last.
It made it, probably, all the worse that, in that particular matter, Leonara had come so very well up to the
scratch. For, whilst Edward respected her more and was grateful to her, it made her seem by so much the
more cold in other matters that were near his hearthis responsibilities, his career, his tradition. It brought
his despair of her up to a point of exasperationand it riveted on him the idea that he might find some other
woman who would give him the moral support that he needed. He wanted to be looked upon as a sort of
Lohengrin.
At that time, he says, he went about deliberately looking for some woman who could help him. He found
severalfor there were quite a number of ladies in his set who were capable of agreeing with this handsome
and fine fellow that the duties of a feudal gentleman were feudal. He would have liked to pass his days
talking to one or other of these ladies. But there was always an obstacleif the lady were married there
would be a husband who claimed the greater part of her time and attention. If, on the other hand, it were an
unmarried girl, he could not see very much of her for fear of compromising her. At that date, you understand,
he had not the least idea of seducing any one of these ladies. He wanted only moral support at the hands of
some female, because he found men difficult to talk to about ideals. Indeed, I do not believe that he had, at
any time, any idea of making any one his mistress. That sounds queer; but I believe it is quite true as a
statement of character.
It was, I believe, one of Leonora's priestsa man of the worldwho suggested that she should take him to
Monte Carlo. He had the idea that what Edward needed, in order to fit him for the society of Leonora, was a
touch of irresponsibility. For Edward, at that date, had much the aspect of a prig. I mean that, if he played
polo and was an excellent dancer he did the one for the sake of keeping himself fit and the other because it
was a social duty to show himself at dances, and, when there, to dance well. He did nothing for fun except
what he considered to be his work in life. As the priest saw it, this must for ever estrange him from Leonora
not because Leonora set much store by the joy of life, but because she was out of sympathy with Edward's
work. On the other hand, Leonora did like to have a good time, now and then, and, as the priest saw it, if
Edward could be got to like having a good time now and then, too, there would be a bond of sympathy
between them. It was a good idea, but it worked out wrongly.
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It worked out, in fact, in the mistress of the Grand Duke. In anyone less sentimental than Edward that would
not have mattered. With Edward it was fatal. For, such was his honourable nature, that for him to enjoy a
woman's favours made him feel that she had a bond on him for life. That was the way it worked out in
practice. Psychologically it meant that he could not have a mistress without falling violently in love with her.
He was a serious personand in this particular case it was very expensive. The mistress of the Grand
Dukea Spanish dancer of passionate appearance singled out Edward for her glances at a ball that was
held in their common hotel. Edward was tall, handsome, blond and very wealthy as she understoodand
Leonora went up to bed early. She did not care for public dances, but she was relieved to see that Edward
appeared to be having a good time with several amiable girls. And that was the end of Edwardfor the
Spanish dancer of passionate appearance wanted one night of him for his beaux yeux. He took her into the
dark gardens and, remembering suddenly the girl of the Kilsyte case, he kissed her. He kissed her
passionately, violently, with a sudden explosion of the passion that had been bridled all his lifefor Leonora
was cold, or at any rate, well behaved. La Dolciquita liked this reversion, and he passed the night in her bed.
When the palpitating creature was at last asleep in his arms he discovered that he was madly, was
passionately, was overwhelmingly in love with her. It was a passion that had arisen like fire in dry corn. He
could think of nothing else; he could live for nothing else. But La Dolciquita was a reasonable creature
without an ounce of passion in her. She wanted a certain satisfaction of her appetites and Edward had
appealed to her the night before. Now that was done with, and, quite coldly, she said that she wanted money
if he was to have any more of her. It was a perfectly reasonable commercial transaction. She did not care two
buttons for Edward or for any man and he was asking her to risk a very good situation with the Grand Duke.
If Edward could put up sufficient money to serve as a kind of insurance against accident she was ready to like
Edward for a time that would be covered, as it were, by the policy. She was getting fifty thousand dollars a
year from her Grand Duke; Edward would have to pay a premium of two years' hire for a month of her
society. There would not be much risk of the Grand Duke's finding it out and it was not certain that he would
give her the keys of the street if he did find out. But there was the riska twenty per cent risk, as she figured
it out. She talked to Edward as if she had been a solicitor with an estate to sellperfectly quietly and
perfectly coldly without any inflections in her voice. She did not want to be unkind to him; but she could see
no reason for being kind to him. She was a virtuous business woman with a mother and two sisters and her
own old age to be provided comfortably for. She did not expect more than a five years' further run. She was
twentyfour and, as she said: "We Spanish women are horrors at thirty." Edward swore that he would provide
for her for life if she would come to him and leave off talking so horribly; but she only shrugged one shoulder
slowly and contemptuously. He tried to convince this woman, who, as he saw it, had surrendered to him her
virtue, that he regarded it as in any case his duty to provide for her, and to cherish her and even to love
herfor life. In return for her sacrifice he would do that. In return, again, for his honourable love she would
listen for ever to the accounts of his estate. That was how he figured it out.
She shrugged the same shoulder with the same gesture and held out her left hand with the elbow at her side:
"Enfin, mon ami," she said, "put in this hand the price of that tiara at Forli's or . . ." And she turned her back
on him.
Edward went mad; his world stood on its head; the palms in front of the blue sea danced grotesque dances.
You see, he believed in the virtue, tenderness and moral support of women. He wanted more than anything to
argue with La Dolciquita; to retire with her to an island and point out to her the damnation of her point of
view and how salvation can only be found in true love and the feudal system. She had once been his mistress,
he reflected, and by all the moral laws she ought to have gone on being his mistress or at the very least his
sympathetic confidante. But her rooms were closed to him; she did not appear in the hotel. Nothing: blank
silence. To break that down he had to have twenty thousand pounds. You have heard what happened.
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He spent a week of madness; he hungered; his eyes sank in; he shuddered at Leonora's touch. I dare say that
ninetenths of what he took to be his passion for La Dolciquita was really discomfort at the thought that he
had been unfaithful to Leonora. He felt uncommonly bad, that is to sayoh, unbearably bad, and he took it
all to be love. Poor devil, he was incredibly naïve. He drank like a fish after Leonora was in bed and he
spread himself over the tables, and this went on for about a fortnight. Heaven knows what would have
happened; he would have thrown away every penny that he possessed.
On the night after he had lost about forty thousand pounds and whilst the whole hotel was whispering about
it, La Dolciquita walked composedly into his bedroom. He was too drunk to recognize her, and she sat in his
armchair, knitting and holding smelling salts to her nosefor he was pretty far gone with alcoholic
poisoningand, as soon as he was able to understand her, she said:
"Look here, mon ami, do not go to the tables again. Take a good sleep now and come and see me this
afternoon."
He slept till the lunchhour. By that time Leonora had heard the news. A Mrs Colonel Whelan had told her.
Mrs Colonel Whelan seems to have been the only sensible person who was ever connected with the
Ashburnhams. She had argued it out that there must be a woman of the harpy variety connected with
Edward's incredible behaviour and mien; and she advised Leonora to go straight off to Townwhich might
have the effect of bringing Edward to his sensesand to consult her solicitor and her spiritual adviser. She
had better go that very morning; it was no good arguing with a man in Edward's condition.
Edward, indeed, did not know that she had gone. As soon as he awoke he went straight to La Dolciquita's
room and she stood him his lunch in her own apartments. He fell on her neck and wept, and she put up with it
for a time. She was quite a goodnatured woman. And, when she had calmed him down with Eau de Mélisse,
she said:
"Look here, my friend, how much money have you left? Five thousand dollars? Ten?" For the rumour went
that Edward had lost two kings' ransoms a night for fourteen nights and she imagined that he must be near the
end of his resources.
The Eau de Mélisse had calmed Edward to such an extent that, for the moment, he really had a head on his
shoulders. He did nothing more than grunt:
"And then?"
"Why," she answered, "I may just as well have the ten thousand dollars as the tables. I will go with you to
Antibes for a week for that sum."
Edward grunted: "Five." She tried to get seven thousand five hundred; but he stuck to his five thousand and
the hotel expenses at Antibes. The sedative carried him just as far as that and then he collapsed again. He had
to leave for Antibes at three; he could not do without it. He left a note for Leonora saying that he had gone off
for a week with the Clinton Morleys, yachting.
He did not enjoy himself very much at Antibes. La Dolciquita could talk of nothing with any enthusiasm
except money, and she tired him unceasingly, during every waking hour, for presents of the most expensive
description. And, at the end of a week, she just quietly kicked him out. He hung about in Antibes for three
days. He was cured of the idea that he had any duties towards La Dolciquitafeudal or otherwise. But his
sentimentalism required of him an attitude of Byronic gloomas if his court had gone into halfmourning.
Then his appetite suddenly returned, and he remembered Leonora. He found at his hotel at Monte Carlo a
telegram from Leonora, dispatched from London, saying; "Please return as soon as convenient." He could not
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understand why Leonora should have abandoned him so precipitately when she only thought that he had gone
yachting with the Clinton Morleys. Then he discovered that she had left the hotel before he had written the
note. He had a pretty rocky journey back to town; he was frightened out of his lifeand Leonora had never
seemed so desirable to him.
V
I CALL this the Saddest Story, rather than "The Ashburnham Tragedy", just because it is so sad, just because
there was no current to draw things along to a swift and inevitable end. There is about it none of the elevation
that accompanies tragedy; there is about it no nemesis, no destiny. Here were two noble peoplefor I am
convinced that both Edward and Leonora had noble natureshere, then, were two noble natures, drifting
down life, like fireships afloat on a lagoon and causing miseries, heartaches, agony of the mind and death.
And they themselves steadily deteriorated. And why? For what purpose? To point what lesson? It is all a
darkness.
There is not even any villain in the storyfor even Major Basil, the husband of the lady who next, and
really, comforted the unfortunate Edward even Major Basil was not a villain in this piece. He was a slack,
loose, shiftless sort of fellowbut he did not do anything to Edward. Whilst they were in the same station in
Burma he borrowed a good deal of moneythough, really, since Major Basil had no particular vices, it was
difficult to know why he wanted it. He collecteddifferent types of horses' bits from the earliest times to the
present daybut, since he did not prosecute even this occupation with any vigour, he cannot have needed
much money for the acquirement, say, of the bit of Genghis Khan's chargerif Genghis Khan had a charger.
And when I say that he borrowed a good deal of money from Edward I do not mean to say that he had more
than a thousand pounds from him during the five years that the connection lasted. Edward, of course, did not
have a great deal of money; Leonora was seeing to that. Still, he may have had five hundred pounds a year
English, for his menus plaisirsfor his regimental subscriptions and for keeping his men smart. Leonora
hated that; she would have preferred to buy dresses for herself or to have devoted the money to paying off a
mortgage. Still, with her sense of justice, she saw that, since she was managing a property bringing in three
thousand a year with a view to reestablishing it as a property of five thousand a year and since the property
really, if not legally, belonged to Edward, it was reasonable and just that Edward should get a slice of his
own. Of course she had the devil of a job.
I don't know that I have got the financial details exactly right. I am a pretty good head at figures, but my
mind, still, sometimes mixes up pounds with dollars and I get a figure wrong. Anyhow, the proposition was
something like this: Properly worked and without rebates to the tenants and keeping up schools and things,
the Branshaw estate should have brought in about five thousand a year when Edward had it. It brought in
actually about four. (I am talking in pounds, not dollars.) Edward's excesses with the Spanish Lady had
reduced its value to about threeas the maximum figure, without reductions. Leonora wanted to get it back
to five.
She was, of course, very young to be faced with such a propositiontwentyfour is not a very advanced age.
So she did things with a youthful vigour that she would, very likely, have made more merciful, if she had
known more about life. She got Edward remarkably on the hop. He had to face her in a London hotel, when
he crept back from Monte Carlo with his poor tail between his poor legs. As far as I can make out she cut
short his first mumblings and his first attempts at affectionate speech with words something like:
"We're on the verge of ruin. Do you intend to let me pull things together? If not I shall retire to Hendon on
my jointure." (Hendon represented a convent to which she occasionally went for what is called a "retreat" in
Catholic circles.)
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And poor dear Edward knew nothingabsolutely nothing. He did not know how much money he had, as he
put it, "blued" at the tables. It might have been a quarter of a million for all he remembered. He did not know
whether she knew about La Dolciquita or whether she imagined that he had gone off yachting or had stayed
at Monte Carlo. He was just dumb and he just wanted to get into a hole and not have to talk. Leonora did not
make him talk and she said nothing herself.
I do not know much about English legal procedureI cannot, I mean, give technical details of how they tied
him up. But I know that, two days later, without her having said more than I have reported to you, Leonora
and her attorney had become the trustees, as I believe it is called, of all Edward's property, and there was an
end of Edward as the good landlord and father of his people. He went out. Leonora then had three thousand a
year at her disposal. She occupied Edward with getting himself transferred to a part of his regiment that was
in Burmaif that is the right way to put it. She herself had an interview, lasting a week or sowith
Edward's landsteward. She made him understand that the estate would have to yield up to its last penny.
Before they left for India she had let Branshaw for seven years at a thousand a year. She sold two Vandykes
and a little silver for eleven thousand pounds and she raised, on mortgage, twentynine thousand. That went
to Edward's moneylending friends in Monte Carlo. So she had to get the twentynine thousand back, for she
did not regard the Vandykes and the silver as things she would have to replace. They were just frills to the
Ashburnham vanity. Edward cried for two days over the disappearance of his ancestors and then she wished
she had not done it; but it did not teach her anything and it lessened such esteem as she had for him. She did
not also understand that to let Branshaw affected him with a feeling of physical soilingthat it was almost as
bad for him as if a woman belonging to him had become a prostitute. That was how it did affect him; but I
dare say she felt just as bad about the Spanish dancer.
So she went at it. They were eight years in India, and during the whole of that time she insisted that they must
be selfsupportingthey had to live on his Captain's pay, plus the extra allowance for being at the front. She
gave him the five hundred a year for Ashburnham frills, as she called it to herselfand she considered she
was doing him very well.
Indeed, in a way, she did him very wellbut it was not his way. She was always buying him expensive
things which, as it were, she took off her own back. I have, for instance, spoken of Edward's leather cases.
Well, they were not Edward's at all; they were Leonora's manifestations. He liked to be clean, but he
preferred, as it were, to be threadbare. She never understood that, and all that pigskin was her idea of a
reward to him for putting her up to a little speculation by which she made eleven hundred pounds. She did,
herself, the threadbare business. When they went up to a place called Simla, where, as I understand, it is cool
in the summer and very socialwhen they went up to Simla for their healths it was she who had him
prancing around, as we should say in the United States, on a thousanddollar horse with the gladdest of glad
rags all over him. She herself used to go into "retreat". I believe that was very good for her health and it was
also very inexpensive.
It was probably also very good for Edward's health, because he pranced about mostly with Mrs Basil, who
was a nice woman and very, very kind to him. I suppose she was his mistress, but I never heard it from
Edward, of course. I seem to gather that they carried it on in a high romantic fashion, very proper to both of
themor, at any rate, for Edward; she seems to have been a tender and gentle soul who did what he wanted.
I do not mean to say that she was without character; that was her job, to do what Edward wanted. So I figured
it out, that for those five years, Edward wanted long passages of deep affection kept up in long, long talks and
that every now and then they "fell," which would give Edward an opportunity for remorse and an excuse to
lend the Major another fifty. I don't think that Mrs Basil considered it to be "falling"; she just pitied him and
loved him.
You see, Leonora and Edward had to talk about something during all these years. You cannot be absolutely
dumb when you live with a person unless you are an inhabitant of the North of England or the State of Maine.
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So Leonora imagined the cheerful device of letting him see the accounts of his estate and discussing them
with him. He did not discuss them much; he was trying to behave prettily. But it was old Mr Mumfordthe
farmer who did not pay his rentthat threw Edward into Mrs Basil's arms. Mrs Basil came upon Edward in
the dusk, in the Burmese garden, with all sorts of flowers and things. And he was cutting up that cropwith
his sword, not a walkingstick. He was also carrying on and cursing in a way you would not believe.
She ascertained that an old gentleman called Mumford had been ejected from his farm and had been given a
little cottage rentfree, where he lived on ten shillings a week from a farmers' benevolent society,
supplemented by seven that was being allowed him by the Ashburnham trustees. Edward had just discovered
that fact from the estate accounts. Leonora had left them in his dressingroom and he had begun to read them
before taking off his marchingkit. That was how he came to have a sword. Leonora considered that she had
been unusually generous to old Mr Mumford in allowing him to inhabit a cottage, rentfree, and in giving
him seven shillings a week. Anyhow, Mrs Basil had never seen a man in such a state as Edward was. She had
been passionately in love with him for quite a time, and he had been longing for her sympathy and admiration
with a passion as deep. That was how they came to speak about it, in the Burmese garden, under the pale sky,
with sheaves of severed vegetation, misty and odorous, in the night around their feet. I think they behaved
themselves with decorum for quite a time after that, though Mrs Basil spent so many hours over the accounts
of the Ashburnham estate that she got the name of every field by heart. Edward had a huge map of his lands
in his harnessroom and Major Basil did not seem to mind. I believe that people do not mind much in lonely
stations.
It might have lasted for ever if the Major had not been made what is called a brevetcolonel during the
shuffling of troops that went on just before the South African War. He was sent off somewhere else and, of
course, Mrs Basil could not stay with Edward. Edward ought, I suppose, to have gone to the Transvaal. It
would have done him a great deal of good to get killed. But Leonora would not let him; she had heard awful
stories of the extravagance of the hussar regiment in wartimehow they left hundredbottle cases of
champagne, at five guineas a bottle, on the veldt and so on. Besides, she preferred to see how Edward was
spending his five hundred a year. I don't mean to say that Edward had any grievance in that. He was never a
man of the deeds of heroism sort and it was just as good for him to be sniped at up in the hills of the North
Western frontier, as to be shot at by an old gentleman in a tophat at the bottom of some spruit. Those are
more or less his words about it. I believe he quite distinguished himself over there. At any rate, he had had his
D.S.O. and was made a brevetmajor. Leonora, however, was not in the least keen on his soldiering. She
hated also his deeds of heroism. One of their bitterest quarrels came after he had, for the second time, in the
Red Sea, jumped overboard from the troopship and rescued a private soldier. She stood it the first time and
even complimented him. But the Red Sea was awful, that trip, and the private soldiers seemed to develop a
suicidal craze. It got on Leonora's nerves; she figured Edward, for the rest of that trip, jumping overboard
every ten minutes. And the mere cry of "Man overboard" is a disagreeable, alarming and disturbing thing.
The ship gets stopped and there are all sorts of shouts. And Edward would not promise not to do it again,
though, fortunately, they struck a streak of cooler weather when they were in the Persian Gulf. Leonora had
got it into her head that Edward was trying to commit suicide, so I guess it was pretty awful for her when he
would not give the promise. Leonora ought never to have been on that troopship; but she got there somehow,
as an economy.
Major Basil discovered his wife's relation with Edward just before he was sent to his other station. I don't
know whether that was a blackmailer's adroitness or just a trick of destiny. He may have known of it all the
time or he may not. At any rate, he got hold of, just about then, some letters and things. It cost Edward three
hundred pounds immediately. I do not know how it was arranged; I cannot imagine how even a blackmailer
can make his demands. I suppose there is some sort of way of saving your face. I figure the Major as
disclosing the letters to Edward with furious oaths, then accepting his explanations that the letters were
perfectly innocent if the wrong construction were not put upon them. Then the Major would say: "I say, old
chap, I'm deuced hard up. Couldn't you lend me three hundred or so?" I fancy that was how it was. And, year
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by year, after that there would come a letter from the Major, saying that he was deuced hard up and couldn't
Edward lend him three hundred or so?
Edward was pretty hard hit when Mrs Basil had to go away. He really had been very fond of her, and he
remained faithful to her memory for quite a long time. And Mrs Basi had loved him very much and continued
to cherish a hope of reunion with him. Three days ago there came a quite proper but very lamentable letter
from her to Leonora, asking to be given particulars as to Edward's death. She had read the advertisement of it
in an Indian paper. I think she must have been a very nice woman. . . .
And then the Ashburnhams were moved somewhere up towards a place or a district called Chitral. I am no
good at geography of the Indian Empire. By that time they had settled down into a model couple and they
never spoke in private to each other. Leonora had given up even showing the accounts of the Ashburnham
estate to Edward. He thought that that was because she had piled up such a lot of money that she did not want
him to know how she was getting on any more. But, as a matter of fact, after five or six years it had
penetrated to her mind that it was painful to Edward to have to look on at the accounts of his estate and have
no hand in the management of it. She was trying to do him a kindness. And, up in Chitral, poor dear little
Maisie Maidan came along. . . .
That was the most unsettling to Edward of all his affairs. It made him suspect that he was inconstant. The
affair with the Dolciquita he had sized up as a short attack of madness like hydrophobia. His relations with
Mrs Basil had not seemed to him to imply moral turpitude of a gross kind. The husband had been
complaisant; they had really loved each other; his wife was very cruel to him and had long ceased to be a
wife to him. He thought that Mrs Basil had been his soulmate, separated from him by an unkind
fatesomething sentimental of that sort.
But he discovered that, whilst he was still writing long weekly letters to Mrs Basil, he was beginning to be
furiously impatient if he missed seeing Maisie Maidan during the course of the day. He discovered himself
watching the doorways with impatience; he discovered that he disliked her boy husband very much for hours
at a time. He discovered that he was getting up at unearthly hours in order to have time, later in the morning,
to go for a walk with Maisie Maidan. He discovered himself using little slang words that she used and
attaching a sentimental value to those words. These, you understand, were discoveries that came so late that
he could do nothing but drift. He was losing weight; his eyes were beginning to fall in; he had touches of bad
fever. He was, as he described it, pipped.
And, one ghastly hot day, he suddenly heard himself say to Leonora:
"I say, couldn't we take Mrs Maidan with us to Europe and drop her at Nauheim?"
He hadn't had the least idea of saying that to Leonora. He had merely been standing, looking at an illustrated
paper, waiting for dinner. Dinner was twenty minutes late or the Ashburnhams would not have been alone
together. No, he hadn't had the least idea of framing that speech. He had just been standing in a silent agony
of fear, of longing, of heat, of fever. He was thinking that they were going back to Branshaw in a month and
that Maisie Maidan was going to remain behind and die. And then, that had come out.
The punkah swished in the darkened room; Leonora lay exhausted and motionless in her cane lounge; neither
of them stirred. They were both at that time very ill in indefinite ways.
And then Leonora said:
"Yes. I promised it to Charlie Maidan this afternoon. I have offered to pay her ex's myself."
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Edward just saved himself from saying: "Good God!" You see, he had not the least idea of what Leonora
knewabout Maisie, about Mrs Basil, even about La Dolciquita. It was a pretty enigmatic situation for him.
It struck him that Leonora must be intending to manage his loves as she managed his money affairs and it
made her more hateful to himand more worthy of respect.
Leonora, at any rate, had managed his money to some purpose. She had spoken to him, a week before, for the
first time in several yearsabout money. She had made twentytwo thousand pounds out of the Branshaw
land and seven by the letting of Branshaw furnished. By fortunate investmentsin which Edward had helped
hershe had made another six or seven thousand that might well become more. The mortgages were all paid
off, so that, except for the departure of the two Vandykes and the silver, they were as well off as they had
been before the Dolciquita had acted the locust. It was Leonora's great achievement. She laid the figures
before Edward, who maintained an unbroken silence.
"I propose," she said, "that you should resign from the Army and that we should go back to Branshaw. We
are both too ill to stay here any longer."
Edward said nothing at all.
"This," Leonora continued passionlessly, "is the great day of my life."
Edward said:
"You have managed the job amazingly. You are a wonderful woman." He was thinking that if they went back
to Branshaw they would leave Maisie Maidan behind. That thought occupied him exclusively. They must,
undoubtedly, return to Branshaw; there could be no doubt that Leonora was too ill to stay in that place. She
said:
"You understand that the management of the whole of the expenditure of the income will be in your hands.
There will be five thousand a year."
She thought that he cared very much about the expenditure of an income of five thousand a year and that the
fact that she had done so much for him would rouse in him some affection for her. But he was thinking
exclusively of Maisie Maidanof Maisie, thousands of miles away from him. He was seeing the mountains
between themblue mountains and the sea and sunlit plains. He said:
"That is very generous of you." And she did not know whether that were praise or a sneer. That had been a
week before. And all that week he had passed in an increasing agony at the thought that those mountains, that
sea, and those sunlit plains would be between him and Maisie Maidan. That thought shook him in the burning
nights: the sweat poured from him and he trembled with cold, in the burning noonsat that thought. He had
no minute's rest; his bowels turned round and round within him: his tongue was perpetually dry and it seemed
to him that the breath between his teeth was like air from a pesthouse.
He gave no thought to Leonora at all; he had sent in his papers. They were to leave in a month. It seemed to
him to be his duty to leave that place and to go away, to support Leonora. He did his duty.
It was horrible, in their relationship at that time, that whatever she did caused him to hate her. He hated her
when he found that she proposed to set him up as the Lord of Branshaw againas a sort of dummy lord, in
swaddling clothes. He imagined that she had done this in order to separate him from Maisie Maidan. Hatred
hung in all the heavy nights and filled the shadowy corners of the room. So when he heard that she had
offered to the Maidan boy to take his wife to Europe with him, automatically he hated her since he hated all
that she did. It seemed to him, at that time, that she could never be other than cruel even if, by accident, an act
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of hers were kind. . . . Yes, it was a horrible situation.
But the cool breezes of the ocean seemed to clear up that hatred as if it had been a curtain. They seemed to
give him back admiration for her, and respect. The agreeableness of having money lavishly at command, the
fact that it had bought for him the companionship of Maisie Maidanthese things began to make him see
that his wife might have been right in the starving and scraping upon which she had insisted. He was at ease;
he was even radiantly happy when he carried cups of bouillon for Maisie Maidan along the deck. One night,
when he was leaning beside Leonora, over the ship's side, he said suddenly:
"By jove, you're the finest woman in the world. I wish we could be better friends."
She just turned away without a word and went to her cabin. Still, she was very much better in health.
And now, I suppose, I must give you Leonora's side of the case. . . .
That is very difficult. For Leonora, if she preserved an unchanged front, changed very frequently her point of
view. She had been drilled in her tradition, in her upbringingto keep her mouth shut. But there were
times, she said, when she was so near yielding to the temptation of speaking that afterwards she shuddered to
think of those times. You must postulate that what she desired above all things was to keep a shut mouth to
the world; to Edward and to the women that he loved. If she spoke she would despise herself.
From the moment of his unfaithfulness with La Dolciquita she never acted the part of wife to Edward. It was
not that she intended to keep herself from him as a principle, for ever. Her spiritual advisers, I believe,
forbade that. But she stipulated that he must, in some way, perhaps symbolical, come back to her. She was
not very clear as to what she meant; probably she did not know herself. Or perhaps she did.
There were moments when he seemed to be coming back to her; there were moments when she was within a
hair of yielding to her physical passion for him. In just the same way, at moments, she almost yielded to the
temptation to denounce Mrs Basil to her husband or Maisie Maidan to hers. She desired then to cause the
horrors and pains of public scandals. For, watching Edward more intently and with more straining of ears
than that which a cat bestows upon a bird overhead, she was aware of the progress of his passion for each of
these ladies. She was aware of it from the way in which his eyes returned to doors and gateways; she knew
from his tranquillities when he had received satisfactions.
At times she imagined herself to see more than was warranted. She imagined that Edward was carrying on
intrigues with other womenwith two at once; with three. For whole periods she imagined him to be a
monster of libertinage and she could not see that he could have anything against her. She left him his liberty;
she was starving herself to build up his fortunes; she allowed herself none of the joys of femininityno
dresses, no jewelshardly even friendships, for fear they should cost money.
And yet, oddly, she could not but be aware that both Mrs Basil and Maisie Maidan were nice women. The
curious, discounting eye which one woman can turn on another did not prevent her seeing that Mrs Basil was
very good to Edward and Mrs Maidan very good for him. That seemed her to be a monstrous and
incomprehensible working of Fate's. Incomprehensible! Why, she asked herself again and again, did none of
the good deeds that she did for her husband ever come through to him, or appear to hime as good deeds? By
what trick of mania could not he let her be as good to him as Mrs Basil was? Mrs Basil was not so
extraordinarily dissimilar to herself. She was, it was true, tall, dark, with soft mournful voice and a great
kindness of manner for every created thing, from punkah men to flowers on the trees. But she was not so well
read as Lenora, at any rate in learned books. Leonora could not stand novels. But, even with all her
differences, Mrs Basil did not appear to Leonora to differ so very much from herself. She was truthful, honest
and, for the rest, just a woman. And Leonora had a vague sort of idea that, to a man, all women are the same
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after three weeks of close intercourse. She thought that the kindness should no longer appeal, the soft and
mournful voice no longer thrill, the tall darkness no longer give a man the illusion that he was going into the
depths of an unexplored wood. She could not understand how Edward could go on and on maundering over
Mrs Basil. She could not see why he should continue to write her long letters after their separation. After that,
indeed, she had a very bad time.
She had at that period what I will call the "monstrous" theory of Edward. She was always imagining him
ogling at every woman that he came across. She did not, that year, go into "retreat" at Simla because she was
afraid that he would corrupt her maid in her absence. She imagined him carrying on intrigues with native
women or Eurasians. At dances she was in a fever of watchfulness.
She persuaded herself that this was because she had a dread of scandals. Edward might get himself mixed up
with a marriageable daughter of some man who would make a row or some husband who would matter. But,
really, she acknowledged afterwards to herself, she was hoping that, Mrs Basil being out of the way, the time
might have come when Edward should return to her. All that period she passed in an agony of jealousy and
fearthe fear that Edward might really become promiscuous in his habits.
So that, in an odd way, she was glad when Maisie Maidan came alongand she realized that she had not,
before, been afraid of husbands and of scandals, since, then, she did her best to keep Maisie's husband
unsuspicious. She wished to appear so trustful of Edward that Maidan could not possibly have any
suspicions. It was an evil position for her. But Edward was very ill and she wanted to see him smile again.
She thought that if he could smile again through her agency he might return, through gratitude and satisfied
loveto her. At that time she thought that Edward was a person of light and fleeting passions. And she could
understand Edward's passion for Maisie, since Maisie was one of those women to whom other women will
allow magnetism.
She was very pretty; she was very young; in spite of her heart she was very gay and light on her feet. And
Leonora was really very fond of Maisie, who was fond enough of Leonora. Leonora, indeed, imagined that
she could manage this affair all right. She had no thought of Maisie's being led into adultery; she imagined
that if she could take Maisie and Edward to Nauheim, Edward would see enough of her to get tired of her
pretty little chatterings, and of the pretty little motions of her hands and feet. And she thought she could trust
Edward. For there was not any doubt of Maisie's passion for Edward. She raved about him to Leonora as
Leonora had heard girls rave about drawing masters in schools. She was perpetually asking her boy husband
why he could not dress, ride, shoot, play polo, or even recite sentimental poems, like their major. And young
Maidan had the greatest admiration for Edward, and he adored, was bewildered by and entirely trusted his
wife. It appeared to him that Edward was devoted to Leonora. And Leonora imagined that when poor Maisie
was cured of her hear and Edward had seen enough of her, he would return to her. She had the vague,
passionate idea that, when Edward had exhausted a number of other types of women he must turn to her.
Why should not her type have its turn in his heart? She imagined that, by now, she understood him better,
that she understood better his vanities and that, by making him happier, she could arouse his love.
Florence knocked all that on the head. . . .
PART IV I
I HAVE, I am aware, told this story in a very rambling way so that it may be difficult for anyone to find their
path through what may be a sort of maze. I cannot help it. I have stuck to my idea of being in a country
cottage with a silent listener, hearing between the gusts of the wind and amidst the noises of the distant sea,
the story as it comes. And, when one discusses an affaira long, sad affairone goes back, one goes
forward. One remembers points that one has forgotten and one explains them all the more minutely since one
recognizes that one has forgotten to mention them in their proper places and that one may have given, by
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omitting them, a false impression. I console myself with thinking that this is a real story and that, after all,
real stories are probably told best in the way a person telling a story would tell them. They will then seem
most real.
At any rate, I think I have brought my story up to the date of Maisie Maidan's death. I mean that I have
explained everything that went before it from the several points of view that were necessaryfrom
Leonora's, from Edward's and, to some extent, from my own. You have the facts for the trouble of finding
them; you have the points of view as far as I could ascertain or put them. Let me imagine myself back, then,
at the day of Maisie's deathor rather at the moment of Florence's dissertation on the Protest, up in the old
Castle of the town of M. Let us consider Leonora's point of view with regard to Florence; Edward's, of
course, I cannot give you, for Edward naturally never spoke of his affair with my wife. (I may, in what
follows, be a little hard on Florence; but you must remember that I have been writing away at this story now
for six months and reflecting longer and longer upon these affairs.)
And the longer I think about them the more certain I become that Florence was a contaminating
influenceshe depressed and deteriorated poor Edward; she deteriorated, hopelessly, the miserable Leonora.
There is no doubt that she caused Leonora's character to deteriorate. If there was a fine point about Leonora it
was that she was proud and that she was silent. But that pride and that silence broke when she made that
extraordinary outburst, in the shadowy room that contained the Protest, and in the little terrace looking over
the river. I don't mean to say that she was doing a wrong thing. She was certainly doing right in trying to
warn me that Florence was making eyes at her husband. But, if she did the right thing, she was doing it in the
wrong way. Perhaps she should have reflected longer; she should have spoken, if she wanted to speak, only
after reflection. Or it would have been better if she had actedif, for instance, she had so chaperoned
Florence that private communication between her and Edward became impossible. She should have gone
eavesdropping; she should have watched outside bedroom doors. It is odious; but that is the way the job is
done. She should have taken Edward away the moment Maisie was dead. No, she acted wrongly. . . . And yet,
poor thing, is it for me to condemn herand what did it matter in the end? If it had not been Florence, it
would have been some other . . . Still, it might have been a better woman than my wife. For Florence was
vulgar; Florence was a common flirt who would not, at the last, lacher prise; and Florence was an
unstoppable talker. You could not stop her; nothing would stop her. Edward and Leonora were at least proud
and reserved people. Pride and reserve are not the only things in life; perhaps they are not even the best
things. But if they happen to be your particular virtues you will go all to pieces if you let them go. And
Leonora let them. go. She let them go before poor Edward did even. Consider her position when she burst out
over the LutherProtest. . . . Consider her agonies. . . .
You are to remember that the main passion of her life was to get Edward back; she had never, till that
moment, despaired of getting him back. That may seem ignoble; but you have also to remember that her
getting him back represented to her not only a victory for herself. It would, as it appeared to her, have been a
victory for all wives and a victory for her Church. That was how it presented itself to her. These things are a
little inscrutable. I don't know why the getting back of Edward should have represented to her a victory for all
wives, for Society and for her Church. Or, maybe, I have a glimmering of it.
She saw life as a perpetual sexbaffle between husbands who desire to be unfaithful to their wives, and wives
who desire to recapture their husbands in the end. That was her sad and modest view of matrimony. Man, for
her, was a sort of brute who must have his divagations, his moments of excess, his nights out, his, let us say,
rutting seasons. She had read few novels, so that the idea of a pure and constant love succeeding the sound of
wedding bells had never been very much presented to her. She went, numbed and terrified, to the Mother
Superior of her childhood's convent with the tale of Edward's infidelities with the Spanish dancer, and all that
the old nun, who appeared to her to be infinitely wise, mystic and reverend, had done had been to shake her
head sadly and to say:
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"Men are like that. By the blessing of God it will all come right in the end."
That was what was put before her by her spiritual advisers as her programme in life. Or, at any rate, that was
how their teachings came through to herthat was the lesson she told me she had learned of them. I don't
know exactly what they taught her. The lot of women was patience and patience and again patiencead
majorem Dei gloriamuntil upon the appointed day, if God saw fit, she should have her reward. If then, in
the end, she should have succeeded in getting Edward back she would have kept her man within the limits
that are all that wifehood has to expect. She was even taught that such excesses in men are natural,
excusableas if they had been children.
And the great thing was that there should be no scandal before the congregation. So she had clung to the idea
of getting Edward back with a fierce passion that was like an agony. She had looked the other way; she had
occupied herself solely with one idea. That was the idea of having Edward appear, when she did get him
back, wealthy, glorious as it were, on account of his lands, and upright. She would show, in fact, that in an
unfaithful world one Catholic woman had succeeded in retaining the fidelity of her husband. And she thought
she had come near her desires.
Her plan with regard to Maisie had appeared to be working admirably. Edward had seemed to be cooling off
towards the girl. He did not hunger to pass every minute of the time at Nauheirn beside the child's recumbent
form; he went out to polo matches; he played auction bridge in the evenings; he was cheerful and bright. She
was certain that he was not trying to seduce that poor child; she was beginning to think that he had never tried
to do so. He seemed in fact to be dropping back into what he had been for Maisie in the beginninga kind,
attentive, superior officer in the regiment, paying gallant attentions to a bride. They were as open in their little
flirtations as the dayspring from on high. And Maisie had not appeared to fret when he went off on
excursions with us; she had to lie down for so many hours on her bed every afternoon, and she had not
appeared to crave for the attentions of Edward at those times. And Edward was beginning to make little
advances to Leonora. Once or twice, in privatefor he often did it before peoplehe had said: "How nice
you look!" or "What a pretty dress!" She had gone with Florence to Frankfurt, where they dress as well as in
Paris, and had got herself a gown or two. She could afford it, and Florence was an excellent adviser as to
dress. She seemed to have got hold of the clue to the riddle.
Yes, Leonora seemed to have got hold of the clue to the riddle. She imagined herself to have been in the
wrong to some extent in the past. She should not have kept Edward on such a tight rein with regard to money.
She thought she was on the right tack in letting himas she had done only with fear and irresolutionhave
again the control of bis income. He came even a step towards her and acknowledged, spontaneously, that she
had been right in husbanding, for all those years, their resources. He said to her one day:
"You've done right, old girl. There's nothing I like so much as to have a little to chuck away. And I can do it,
thanks to you."
That was really, she said, the happiest moment of her life. And he, seeming to realize it, had ventured to pat
her on the shoulder. He had, ostensibly, come in to borrow a safetypin of her. And the occasion of her
boxing Maisie's ears, had, after it was over, riveted in her mind the idea that there was no intrigue between
Edward and Mrs Maidan. She imagined that, from henceforward, all that she had to do was to keep him well
supplied with money and his mind amused with pretty girls. She was convinced that he was coming back to
her. For that month she no longer repelled his timid advances that never went very far. For he certainly made
timid advances. He patted her on the shoulder; he whispered into her ear little jokes about the odd figures that
they saw up at the Casino. It was not much to make a little jokebut the whispering of it was a precious
intimacy. . . .
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And thensmashit all went. It went to pieces at the moment when Florence laid her hand upon Edward's
wrist, as it lay on the glass sheltering the manuscript of the Protest, up in the high tower with the shutters
where the sunlight here and there streamed in. Or, rather, it went when she noticed the look in Edward's eyes
as he gazed back into Florence's. She knew that look.
She had knownsince the first moment of their meeting, since the moment of our all sitting down to dinner
togetherthat Florence was making eyes at Edward. But she had seen so many women make eyes at
Edwardhundreds and hundreds of women, in railway trains, in hotels, aboard liners, at street corners. And
she had arrived at thinking that Edward took little stock in women that made eyes at him. She had formed
what was, at that time, a fairly correct estimate of the methods of, the reasons for, Edward's loves. She was
certain that hitherto they had consisted of the short passion for the Dolciquita, the real sort of love for Mrs
Basil, and what she deemed the pretty courtship of Maisie Maidan. Besides she despised Florence so
haughtily that she could not imagine Edward's being attracted by her. And she and Maisie were a sort of
bulwark round him. She wanted, besides, to keep her eyes on Florencefor Florence knew that she had
boxed Maisie's ears. And Leonora desperately desired that her union with Edward should appear to be
flawless. But all that went. . . .
With the answering gaze of Edward into Florence's blue and uplifted eyes, she knew that it had all gone. She
knew that that gaze meant that those two had had long conversations of an intimate kindabout their likes
and dislikes, about their natures, about their views of marriage. She knew what it meant that she, when we all
four walked out together, had always been with me ten yards ahead of Florence and Edward. She did not
imagine that it had gone further than talks about their likes and dislikes, about their natures or about marriage
as an institution. But, having watched Edward all her life, she knew that that laying on of hands, that
answering of gaze with gaze, meant that the thing was unavoidable. Edward was such a serious person.
She knew that any attempt on her part to separate those two would be to rivet on Edward an irrevocable
passion; that, as I have before told you, it was a trick of Edward's nature to believe that the seducing of a
woman gave her an irrevocable hold over him for life. And that touching of hands, she knew, would give that
woman an irrevocable claimto be seduced. And she so despised Florence that she would have preferred it
to be a parlourmaid. There are very decent parlourmaids.
And, suddenly, there came into her mind the conviction that Maisie Maidan had a real passion for Edward;
that this would break her heartand that she, Leonora, would be responsible for that. She went, for the
moment, mad. She clutched me by the wrist; she dragged me down those stairs and across that whispering
Rittersaal with the high painted pillars, the high painted chimneypiece. I guess she did not go mad enough.
She ought to have said:
"Your wife is a harlot who is going to be my husband's mistress . . ." That might have done the trick. But,
even in her madness, she was afraid to go as far as that. She was afraid that, if she did, Edward and Florence
would make a bolt of it, and that, if they did that, she would lose forever all chance of getting him back in the
end. She acted very badly to me.
Well, she was a tortured soul who put her Church before the interests of a Philadelphia Quaker. That is all
rightI daresay the Church of Rome is the more important of the two.
A week after Maisie Maidan's death she was aware that Florence had become Edward's mistress. She waited
outside Florence's door and met Edward as he came away. She said nothing and he only grunted. But I guess
he had a bad time.
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Yes, the mental deterioration that Florence worked in Leonora was extraordinary; it smashed up her whole
life and all her chances. It made her, in the first place, hopelessfor she could not see how, after that,
Edward could return to herafter a vulgar intrigue with a vulgar woman. His affair with Mrs Basil, which
was now all that she had to bring, in her heart, against him, she could not find it in her to call an intrigue. It
was a love affaira pure enough thing in its way. But this seemed to her to be a horrora wantonness, all
the more detestable to her, because she so detested Florence. And Florence talked. . . .
That was what was terrible, because Florence forced Leonora herself to abandon her high reserveFlorence
and the situation. It appears that Florence was in two minds whether to confess to me or to Leonora. Confess
she had to. And she pitched at last on Leonora, because if it had been me she would have had to confess a
great deal more. Or, at least, I might have guessed a great deal more, about her "heart", and about Jimmy. So
she went to Leonora one day and began hinting and hinting. And she enraged Leonora to such an extent that
at last Leonora said:
"You want to tell me that you are Edward's mistress. You can be. I have no use for him."
That was really a calamity for Leonora, because, once started, there was no stopping the talking. She tried to
stopbut it was not to be done. She found it necessary to send Edward messages through Florence; for she
would not speak to him. She had to give him, for instance, to understand that if I ever came to know of his
intrigue she would ruin him beyond repair. And it complicated matters a good deal that Edward, at about this
time, was really a little in love with her. He thought that he had treated her so badly; that she was so fine. She
was so mournful that he longed to comfort her, and he thought himself such a blackguard that there was
nothing he would not have done to make amends. And Florence communicated these items of information to
Leonora.
I don't in the least blame Leonora for her coarseness to Florence; it must have done Florence a world of good.
But I do blame her for giving way to what was in the end a desire for communicativeness. You see that
business cut her off from her Church. She did not want to confess what she was doing because she was afraid
that her spiritual advisers would blame her for deceiving me. I rather imagine that she would have preferred
damnation to breaking my heart. That is what it works out at. She need not have troubled.
But, having no priests to talk to, she had to talk to someone, and as Florence insisted on talking to her, she
talked back, in short, explosive sentences, like one of the damned. Precisely like one of the damned. Well, if a
pretty period in hell on this earth can spare her any period of pain in Eternitywhere there are not any
periodsI guess Leonora will escape hell fire.
Her conversations with Florence would be like this. Florence would happen in on her, whilst she was doing
her wonderful hair, with a proposition from Edward, who seems about that time to have conceived the naïve
idea that he might become a polygamist. I daresay it was Florence who put it into his head. Anyhow, I am not
responsible for the oddities of the human psychology. But it certainly appears that at about that date Edward
cared more for Leonora than he had ever done beforeor, at any rate, for a long time. And, if Leonora had
been a person to play cards and if she had played her cards well, and if she had had no sense of shame and so
on, she might then have shared Edward with Florence until the time came for jerking that poor cuckoo out of
the nest.
Well, Florence would come to Leonora with some such proposition. I do not mean to say that she put it
baldly, like that. She stood out that she was not Edward's mistress until Leonora said that she had seen
Edward coming out of her room at an advanced hour of the night. That checked Florence a bit; but she fell
back upon her "heart" and stuck out that she had merely been conversing with Edward in order to bring him
to a better frame of mind. Florence had, of course, to stick to that story; for even Florence would not have had
the face to implore Leonora to grant her favours to Edward if she had admitted that she was Edward's
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mistress. That could not be done. At the same time Florence had such a pressing desire to talk about
something. There would have been nothing else to talk about but a rapprochement between that estranged
pair. So Florence would go on babbling and Leonora would go on brushing her hair. And then Leonora would
say suddenly something like:
"I should think myself defiled if Edward touched me now that he has touched you."
That would discourage Florence a bit; but after a week or so, on another morning she would have another try.
And even in other things Leonora deteriorated. She had promised Edward to leave the spending of his own
income in his own hands. And she had fully meant to do that. I daresay she would have done it too; though,
no doubt, she would have spied upon his banking account in secret. She was not a Roman Catholic for
nothing. But she took so serious a view of Edward's unfaithfulness to the memory of poor little Maisie that
she could not trust him any more at all .
So when she got back to Branshaw she started, after less than a month, to worry him about the minutest items
of his expenditure. She allowed him to draw his own cheques, but there was hardly a cheque that she did not
scrutinizeexcept for a private account of about five hundred a year which, tacitly, she allowed him to keep
for expenditure on his mistress or mistresses. He had to have his jaunts to Paris; he had to send expensive
cables in cipher to Florence about twice a week. But she worried him about his expenditure on wines, on fruit
trees, on harness, on gates, on the account at his blacksmith's for work done to a new patent Army stirrup that
he was trying to invent. She could not see why he should bother to invent a new Army stirrup, and she was
really enraged when, after the invention was mature, he made a present to the War Office of the designs and
the patent rights. It was a remarkably good stirrup.
I have told you, I think, that Edward spent a great deal of time, and about two hundred pounds for law fees on
getting a poor girl, the daughter of one of his gardeners, acquitted of a charge of murdering her baby. That
was positively the last act of Edward's life. It came at a time when Nancy Rufford was on her way to India;
when the most horrible gloom was over the household; when Edward himself was in an agony and behaving
as prettily as he knew how. Yet even then Leonora made him a terrible scene about this expenditure of time
and trouble. She sort of had the vague idea that what had passed with the girl and the rest of it ought to have
taught Edward a lessonthe lesson of economy. She threatened to take his banking account away from him
again. I guess that made him cut his throat. He might have stuck it out otherwisebut the thought that he had
lost Nancy and that, in addition, there was nothing left for him but a dreary, dreary succession of days in
which he could be of no public service . . . Well, it finished him.
It was during those years that Leonora tried to get up a love affair of her own with a fellow called
Bayhama decent sort of fellow. A really nice man. But the affair was no sort of success. I have told you
about it already. . . .
II
WELL, that about brings me up to the date of my receiving, in Waterbury, the laconic cable from Edward to
the effect that he wanted me to go to Branshaw and have a chat. I was pretty busy at the time and I was half
minded to send him a reply cable to the effect that I would start in a fortnight. But I was having a long
interview with old Mr Hurlbird's attorneys and immediately afterwards I had to have a long interview with
the Misses Hurlbird, so I delayed cabling.
I had expected to find the Misses Hurlbird excessively oldin the nineties or thereabouts. The time had
passed so slowly that I had the impression that it must have been thirty years since I had been in the United
States. It was only twelve years. Actually Miss Hurlbird was just sixtyone and Miss Florence Hurlbird
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fiftynine, and they were both, mentally and physically, as vigorous as could be desired. They were, indeed,
more vigorous, mentally, than suited my purpose, which was to get away from the United States as quickly as
I could. The Hurlbirds were an exceedingly united familyexceedingly united except on one set of points.
Each of the three of them had a separate doctor, whom they trusted implicitlyand each had a separate
attorney. And each of them distrusted the other's doctor and the other's attorney. And, naturally, the doctors
and the attorneys warned one all the timeagainst each other. You cannot imagine how complicated it all
became for me. Of course I had an attorney of my ownrecommended to me by young Carter, my
Philadelphia nephew.
I do not mean to say that there was any unpleasantness of a grasping kind. The problem was quite another
onea moral dilemma. You see, old Mr Hurlbird had left all his property to Florence with the mere request
that she would have erected to him in the city of Waterbury, Ill., a memorial that should take the form of
some sort of institution for the relief of sufferers from the heart. Florence's money had all come to me and
with it old Mr Hurlbird's. He had died just five days before Florence.
Well, I was quite ready to spend a round million dollars on the relief of sufferers from the heart. The old
gentleman had left about a million and a half; Florence had been worth about eight hundred thousandand
as I figured it out, I should cut up at about a million myself. Anyhow, there was ample money. But I naturally
wanted to consult the wishes of his surviving relatives and then the trouble really began. You see, it had been
discovered that Mr Hurlbird had had nothing whatever the matter with his heart. His lungs had been a little
affected all through his life and he had died of bronchitis. It struck Miss Florence Hurlbird that, since her
brother had died of lungs and not of heart, his money ought to go to lung patients. That, she considered, was
what her brother would have wished. On the other hand, by a kink, that I could not at the time understand,
Miss Hurlbird insisted that I ought to keep the money all to myself. She said that she did not wish for any
monuments to the Hurlbird family. At the time I thought that that was because of a New England dislike for
necrological ostentation. But I can figure out now, when I remember certain insistent and continued questions
that she put to me, about Edward Ashburnham, that there was another idea in her mind. And Leonora has told
me that, on Florence's dressingtable, beside her dead body, there had lain a letter to Miss Hurlbirda letter
which Leonora posted without telling me. I don't know how Florence had time to write to her aunt; but I can
quite understand that she would not like to go out of the world without making some comments. So I guess
Florence had told Miss Hurlbird a good bit about Edward Ashburnham in a few scrawled wordsand that
that was why the old lady did not wish the name of Hurlbird perpetuated. Perhaps also she thought that I had
earned the Hurlbird money. It meant a pretty tidy lot of discussing, what with the doctors warning each other
about the bad effects of discussions on the health of the old ladies, and warning me covertly against each
other, and saying that old Mr Hurlbird might have died of heart, after all, in spite of the diagnosis of his
doctor. And the solicitors all had separate methods of arranging about how the money should be invested and
entrusted and bound. Personally, I wanted to invest the money so that the interest could be used for the relief
of sufferers from the heart. If old Mr Hurlbird had not died of any defects in that organ he had considered that
it was defective. Moreover, Florence had certainly died of her heart, as I saw it. And when Miss Florence
Hurlbird stood out that the money ought to go to chest sufferers I was brought to thinking that there ought to
be a chest institution too, and I advanced the sum that I was ready to provide to a million and a half of dollars.
That would have given seven hundred and fifty thousand to each class of invalid. I did not want money at all
badly. All I wanted it for was to be able to give Nancy Rufford a good time. I did not know much about
housekeeping expenses in England where, I presumed, she would wish to live. I knew that her needs at that
time were limited to good chocolates, and a good horse or two, and simple, pretty frocks. Probably she would
want more than that later on. But even if I gave a million and a half dollars to these institutions I should still
have the equivalent of about twenty thousand a year English, and I considered that Nancy could have a pretty
good time on that or less. Anyhow, we had a stiff set of arguments up at the Hurlbird mansion which stands
on a bluff over the town. It may strike you, silent listener, as being funny if you happen to be European. But
moral problems of that description and the giving of millions to institutions are immensely serious matters in
my country. Indeed, they are the staple topics for consideration amongst the wealthy classes. We haven't got
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peerage and social climbing to occupy us much, and decent people do not take interest in politics or elderly
people in sport. So that there were real tears shed by both Miss Hurlbird and Miss Florence before I left that
city. I left it quite abruptly. Four hours after Edward's telegram came another from Leonora, saying: "Yes, do
come. You could be so helpful." I simply told my attorney that there was the million and a half; that he could
invest it as he liked, and that the purposes must be decided by the Misses Hurlbird. I was, anyhow, pretty well
worn out by all the discussions. And, as I have never heard yet from the Misses Hurlbird, I rather think that
Miss Hurlbird, either by revelations or by moral force, has persuaded Miss Florence that no memorial to their
names shall be erected in the city of Waterbury, Conn. Miss Hurlbird wept dreadfully when she heard that I
was going to stay with the Ashburnhams, but she did not make any comments. I was aware, at that date, that
her niece had been seduced by that fellow Jimmy before I had married herbut I contrived to produce on her
the impression that I thought Florence had been a model wife. Why, at that date I still believed that Florence
had been perfectly virtuous after her marriage to me. I had not figured it out that she could have played it so
low down as to continue her intrigue with that fellow under my roof. Well, I was a fool. But I did not think
much about Florence at that date. My mind was occupied with what was happening at Branshaw. I had got it
into my head that the telegrams had something to do with Nancy. It struck me that she might have shown
signs of forming an attachment for some undesirable fellow and that Leonora wanted me to come back and
marry her out of harm's way. That was what was pretty firmly in my mind. And it remained in my mind for
nearly ten days after my arrival at that beautiful old place. Neither Edward nor Leonora made any motion to
talk to me about anything other than the weather and the crops. Yet, although there were several young
fellows about, I could not see that any one in particular was distinguished by the girl's preference. She
certainly appeared illish and nervous, except when she woke up to talk gay nonsense to me. Oh, the pretty
thing that she was. . . .
I imagined that what must have happened was that the undesirable young man had been forbidden the place
and that Nancy was fretting a little.
What had happened was just Hell. Leonora had spoken to Nancy; Nancy had spoken to Edward; Edward had
spoken to Leonoraand they had talked and talked. And talked. You have to imagine horrible pictures of
gloom and half lights, and emotions running through silent nightsthrough whole nights. You have to
imagine my beautiful Nancy appearing suddenly to Edward, rising up at the foot of his bed, with her long hair
falling, like a split cone of shadow, in the glimmer of a nightlight that burned beside him. You have to
imagine her, a silent, a no doubt agonized figure, like a spectre, suddenly offering herself to himto save his
reason! And you have to imagine his frantic refusaland talk. And talk! My God!
And yet, to me, living in the house, enveloped with the charm of the quiet and ordered living, with the silent,
skilled servants whose mere laying out of my dress clothes was like a caressto me who was hourly with
them they appeared like tender, ordered and devoted people, smiling, absenting themselves at the proper
intervals; driving me to meetsjust good people! How the devilhow the devil do they do it?
At dinner one evening Leonora saidshe had just opened a telegram:
"Nancy will be going to India, tomorrow, to be with her father."
No one spoke. Nancy looked at her plate; Edward went on eating his pheasant. I felt very bad; I imagined that
it would be up to me to propose to Nancy that evening. It appeared to me to be queer that they had not given
me any warning of Nancy's departureBut I thought that that was only English mannerssome sort of
delicacy that I had not got the hang of. You must remember that at that moment I trusted in Edward and
Leonora and in Nancy Rufford, and in the tranquility of ancient haunts of peace, as I had trusted in my
mother's love. And that evening Edward spoke to me.
What in the interval had happened had been this:
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Upon her return from Nauheim Leonora had completely broken downbecause she knew she could trust
Edward. That seems odd but, if you know anything about breakdowns, you will know that by the ingenious
torments that fate prepares for us, these things come as soon as, a strain having relaxed, there is nothing more
to be done. It is after a husband's long illness and death that a widow goes to pieces; it is at the end of a long
rowing contest that a crew collapses and lies forward upon its oars. And that was what happened to Leonora.
From certain tones in Edward's voice; from the long, steady stare that he had given her from his bloodshot
eyes on rising from the dinner table in the Nauheim hotel, she knew that, in the affair of the poor girl, this
was a case in which Edward's moral scruples, or his social code, or his idea that it would be playing it too low
down, rendered Nancy perfectly safe. The girl, she felt sure, was in no danger at all from Edward. And in that
she was perfectly right. The smash was to come from herself.
She relaxed; she broke; she drifted, at first quickly, then with an increasing momentum, down the stream of
destiny. You may put it that, having been cut off from the restraints of her religion, for the first time in her
life, she acted along the lines of her instinctive desires. I do not know whether to think that, in that she was no
longer herself; or that, having let loose the bonds of her standards, her conventions and her traditions, she was
being, for the first time, her own natural self. She was torn between her intense, maternal love for the girl and
an intense jealousy of the woman who realizes that the man she loves has met what appears to be the final
passion of his life. She was divided between an intense disgust for Edward's weakness in conceiving this
passion, an intense pity for the miseries that he was enduring, and a feeling equally intense, but one that she
hid from herselfa feeling of respect for Edward's determination to keep himself, in this particular affair,
unspotted.
And the human heart is a very mysterious thing. It is impossible to say that Leonora, in acting as she then did,
was not filled with a sort of hatred of Edward's final virtue. She wanted, I think, to despise him. He was, she
realized gone from her for good. Then let him suffer, let him agonize; let him, if possible, break and go to that
Hell that is the abode of broken resolves. She might have taken a different line. It would have been so easy to
send the girl away to stay with some friends; to have taken her away herself upon some pretext or other. That
would not have cured things but it would have been the decent line, . . . But, at that date, poor Leonora was
incapable of taking any line whatever.
She pitied Edward frightfully at one timeand then she acted along the lines of pity; she loathed him at
another and then she acted as her loathing dictated. She gasped, as a person dying of tuberculosis gasps for
air. She craved madly for communication with some other human soul. And the human soul that she selected
was that of the girl.
Perhaps Nancy was the only person that she could have talked to. With her necessity for reticences, with her
coldness of manner, Leonora had singularly few intimates. She had none at all, with the exception of the Mrs
Colonel Whelen, who had advised her about the affair with La Dolciquita, and the one or two religious, who
had guided her through life. The Colonel's wife was at that time in Madeira; the religious she now avoided.
Her visitors' book had seven hundred names in it; there was not a soul that she could speak to. She was Mrs
Ashburnham of Branshaw Teleragh.
She was the great Mrs Ashburnham of Branshaw and she lay all day upon her bed in her marvellous, light,
airy bedroom with the chintzes and the Chippendale and the portraits of deceased Ashburnhams by Zoffany
and Zucchero. When there was a meet she would struggle upsupposing it were within driving
distanceand let Edward drive her and the girl to the crossroads or the country house. She would drive
herself back alone; Edward would ride off with the girl. Ride Leonora could not, that seasonher head was
too bad. Each pace of her mare was an anguish.
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But she drove with efficiency and precision; she smiled at the Gimmers and Ffoulkes and the Hedley Seatons.
She threw with exactitude pennies to the boys who opened gates for her; she sat upright on the seat of the
high dogcart; she waved her hands to Edward and Nancy as they rode off with the hounds, and every one
could hear her clear, high voice, in the chilly weather, saying:
"Have a good time!"
Poor forlorn woman! . . .
There was, however, one spark of consolation. It came from the fact that Rodney Bayham, of Bayham,
followed her always with his eyes. It had been three years since she had tried her abortive loveaffair with
him. Yet still, on the winter mornings he would ride up to her shafts and just say: "Good day," and look at her
with eyes that were not imploring, but seemed to say: "You see, I am still, as the Germans say, A. D.at
disposition."
It was a great consolation, not because she proposed ever to take him up again, but because it showed her that
there was in the world one faithful soul in ridingbreeches. And it showed her that she was not losing her
looks.
And, indeed, she was not losing her looks. She was forty, but she was as clean run as on the day she had left
the conventas clear in outline, as clear coloured in the hair, as dark blue in the eyes. She thought that her
lookingglass told her this; but there are always the doubts. . . . Rodney Bayham's eyes took them away.
It is very singular that Leonora should not have aged at all. I suppose that there are some types of beauty and
even of youth made for the embellishments that come with enduring sorrow. That is too elaborately put. I
mean that Leonora, if everything had prospered, might have become too hard and, maybe, overbearing. As it
was she was tuned down to appearing efficientand yet sympathetic. That is the rarest of all blends. And yet
I swear that Leonora, in her restrained way, gave the impression of being intensely sympathetic. When she
listened to you she appeared also to be listening to some sound that was going on in the distance. But still,
she listened to you and took in what you said, which, since the record of humanity is a record of sorrows,
was, as a rule, something sad.
I think that she must have taken Nancy through many terrors of the night and many bad places of the day.
And that would account for the girl's passionate love for the elder woman. For Nancy's love for Leonora was
an admiration that is awakened in Catholics by their feeling for the Virgin Mary and for various of the saints.
It is too little to say that the girl would have laid her life at Leonora's feet. Well, she laid there the offer of her
virtueand her reason. Those were sufficient instalments of her life. It would today be much better for
Nancy Rufford if she were dead.
Perhaps all these reflections are a nuisance; but they crowd on me. I will try to tell the story.
You seewhen she came back from Nauheim Leonora began to have her headachesheadaches lasting
through whole days, during which she could speak no word and could bear to hear no sound. And, day after
day, Nancy would sit with her, silent and motionless for hours, steeping handkerchiefs in vinegar and water,
and thinking her own thoughts. It must have been very bad for herand her meals alone with Edward must
have been bad for her tooand beastly bad for Edward. Edward, of course, wavered in his demeanour, What
else could he do? At times he would sit silent and dejected over his untouched food. He would utter nothing
but monosyllables when Nancy spoke to him. Then he was simply afraid of the girl falling in love with him.
At other times he would take a little wine; pull himself together; attempt to chaff Nancy about a stake and
binder hedge that her mare had checked at, or talk about the habits of the Chitralis. That was when he was
thinking that it was rough on the poor girl that he should have become a dull companion. He realized that his
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talking to her in the park at Nauheim had done her no harm.
But all that was doing a great deal of harm to Nancy. It gradually opened her eyes to the fact that Edward was
a man with his ups and downs and not an invariably gay uncle like a nice dog, a trustworthy horse or a girl
friend. She would find him in attitudes of frightful dejection, sunk into his armchair in the study that was half
a gunroom. She would notice through the open door that his face was the face of an old, dead man, when he
had no one to talk to. Gradually it forced itself upon her attention that there were profound differences
between the pair that she regarded a her uncle and her aunt. It was a conviction that came very slowly.
It began with Edward's giving an oldish horse to a young fellow called Selmes. Selmes' father had been
ruined by fraudulent solicitor and the Selmes family had had to sell their hunters. It was a case that had
excited a good deal of sympathy in that part of the county. And Edward, meeting the young man one day,
unmounted, and seeing him to be very unhappy, had offered to give him an old Irish cob upon which he was
riding. It was a silly sort of thing to do really. The horse was worth from thirty to forty pounds and Edward
might have known that the gift would upset his wife. But Edward just had to comfort that unhappy young
man whose father he had known all his life. And what made it all the worse was that young Selmes could not
afford to keep the horse even. Edward recollected this, immediately after he had made the offer, and said
quickly:
"Of course I mean that you should stable the horse at Branshaw until you have time to turn round or want to
sell him and get a better."
Nancy went straight home and told all this to Leonora who was lying down. She regarded it as a splendid
instance of Edward's quick consideration for the feelings and the circumstances of the distressed. She thought
it would cheer Leonora upbecause it ought to cheer any woman up to know that she had such a splendid
husband. That was the last girlish thought she ever had. For Leonora, whose headache had left her collected
but miserably weak, turned upon her bed and uttered words that were amazing to the girl:
"I wish to God," she said, "that he was your husband, and not mine. We shall be ruined. We shall be ruined.
Am I never to have a chance?" And suddenly Leonora burst into a passion of tears. She pushed herself up
from the pillows with one elbow and sat therecrying, crying, crying, with her face hidden in her hands and
the tears falling through her fingers.
The girl flushed, stammered and whimpered as if she had been personally insulted.
"But if Uncle Edward . . ." she began.
"That man," said Leonora, with an extraordinary bitterness, "would give the shirt off his back and off
mineand off yours to any . . ." She could not finish the sentence.
At that moment she had been feeling an extraordinary hatred and contempt for her husband. All the morning
and all the afternoon she had been lying there thinking that Edward and the girl were togetherin the field
and hacking it home at dusk. She had been digging her sharp nails into her palms.
The house had been very silent in the drooping winter weather. And then, after an eternity of torture, there
had invaded it the sound of opening doors, of the girl's gay voice saying:
"Well, it was only under the mistletoe." . . . And there was Edward's gruff undertone. Then Nancy had come
in, with feet that had hastened up the stairs and that tiptoed as they approached the open door of Leonora's
room. Branshaw had a great big hall with oak floors and tiger skins. Round this hall there ran a gallery upon
which Leonora's doorway gave. And even when she had the worst of her headaches she liked to have her
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door openI suppose so that she might hear the approaching footsteps of ruin and disaster. At any rate she
hated to be in a room with a shut door.
At that moment Leonora hated Edward with a hatred that was like hell, and she would have liked to bring her
ridingwhip down across the girl's face. What right had Nancy to be young and slender and dark, and gay at
times, at times mournful? What right had she to be exactly the woman to make Leonora's husband happy?
For Leonora knew that Nancy would have made Edward happy.
Yes, Leonora wished to bring her ridingwhip down on Nancy's young face. She imagined the pleasure she
would feel when the lash fell across those queer features; the plea sure she would feel at drawing the handle
at the same moment toward her, so as to cut deep into the flesh and to leave a lasting wheal.
Well, she left a lasting wheal, and her words cut deeply into the girl's mind. . . .
They neither of them spoke about that again. A fortnight went bya fortnight of deep rains, of heavy fields,
of bad scent. Leonora's headaches seemed to have gone for good. She hunted once or twice, letting herself be
piloted by Bayham, whilst Edward looked after the girl. Then, one evening, when those three were dining
alone, Edward said, in the queer, deliberate, heavy tones that came out of him in those days (he was looking
at the table):
"I have been thinking that Nancy ought to do more for her father. He is getting an old man. I have written to
Colonel Rufford, suggesting that she should go to him."
Leonora called out:
"How dare you? How dare you?"
The girl put her hand over her heart and cried out: "Oh, my sweet Saviour, help mel" That was the queer way
she thought within her mind, and the words forced themselves to her lips. Edward said nothing.
And that night, by a merciless trick of the devil that pays attention to this sweltering hell of ours, Nancy
Rufford had a letter from her mother. It came whilst Leonora was talking to Edward, or Leonora would have
intercepted it as she had intercepted others. It was an amazing and a horrible letter. . . .
I don't know what it contained. I just average out from its effects on Nancy that her mother, having eloped
with some worthless sort of fellow, had done what is called "sinking lower and lower". Whether she was
actually on the streets I do not know, but I rather think that she eked out a small allowance that she had from
her husband by that means of livelihood. And I think that she stated as much in her letter to Nancy and
upbraided the girl with living in luxury whilst her mother starved. And it must have been horrible in tone, for
Mrs Rufford was a cruel sort of woman at the best of times. It must have seemed to that poor girl, opening
her letter, for distraction from another grief, up in her bedroom, like the laughter of a devil.
I just cannot bear to think of my poor dear girl at that moment. . . .
And, at the same time, Leonora was lashing, like a cold fiend, into the unfortunate Edward. Or, perhaps, he
was not so unfortunate; because he had done what he knew to be the right thing, he may be deemed happy. I
leave it to you. At any rate, he was sitting in his deep chair, and Leonora came into his roomfor the first
time in nine years. She said:
"This is the most atrocious thing you have done in your atrocious life." He never moved and he never looked
at her. God knows what was in Leonora's mind exactly.
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I like to think that, uppermost in it was concern and horror at the thought of the poor girl's going back to a
father whose voice made her shriek in the night. And, indeed, that motive was very strong with Leonora. But
I think there was also present the thought that she wanted to go on torturing Edward with the girl's presence.
She was, at that time, capable of that.
Edward was sunk in his chair; there were in the room two candles, hidden by green glass shades. The green
shades were reflected in the glasses of the bookcases that contained not books but guns with gleaming
brown barrels and fishingrods in green baize overcovers. There was dimly to be seen, above a mantelpiece
encumbered with spurs, hooves and bronze models of horses, a darkbrown picture of a white horse.
"If you think," Leonora said, "that I do not know that you are in love with the girl . . ." She began spiritedly,
but she could not find any ending for the sentence. Edward did not stir; he never spoke. And then Leonora
said:
"If you want me to divorce you, I will. You can marry her then. She's in love with you."
He groaned at that, a little, Leonora said. Then she went away.
Heaven knows what happened in Leonora after that. She certainly does not herself know. She probably said a
good deal more to Edward than I have been able to report; but that is all that she has told me and I am not
going to make up speeches. To follow her psychological development of that moment I think we must allow
that she upbraided him for a great deal of their past life, whilst Edward sat absolutely silent. And, indeed, in
speaking of it afterwards, she has said several times: "I said a great deal more to him than I wanted to, just
because he was so silent." She talked, in fact, in the endeavour to sting him into speech.
She must have said so much that, with the expression of her grievance, her mood changed. She went back to
her own room in the gallery, and sat there for a long time thinking. And she thought herself into a mood of
absolute unselfishness, of absolute selfcontempt, too. She said to herself that she was no good; that she had
failed in all her effortsin her efforts to get Edward back as in her efforts to make him curb his expenditure.
She imagined herself to be exhausted; she imagined herself to be done. Then a great fear came over her.
She thought that Edward, after what she had said to him, must have committed suicide. She went out on to
the gallery and listened; there was no sound in all the house except the regular beat of the great clock in the
hall. But, even in her debased condition, she was not the person to hang about. She acted. She went straight to
Edward's room, opened the door, and looked in.
He was oiling the breech action of a gun. It was an unusual thing for him to do, at that time of night, in his
evening clothes. It never occurred to her, nevertheless, that he was going to shoot himself with that
implement. She knew that he was doing it just for occupationto keep himself from thinking. He looked up
when she opened the door, his face illuminated by the light cast upwards from the round orifices in the green
candle shades.
She said:
"I didn't imagine that I should find Nancy here." She thought that she owed that to him. He answered then:
"I don't imagine that you did imagine it." Those were the only words he spoke that night. She went, like a
lame duck, back through the long corridors; she stumbled over the familiar tiger skins in the dark hall. She
could hardly drag one limb after the other. In the gallery she perceived that Nancy's door was half open and
that there was a light in the girl's room. A sudden madness possessed her, a desire for action, a thirst for
selfexplanation.
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Their rooms all gave on to the gallery; Leonora's to the east, the girl's next, then Edward's. The sight of those
three open doors, side by side, gaping to receive whom the chances of the black night might bring, made
Leonora shudder all over her body. She went into Nancy's room.
The girl was sitting perfectly still in an armchair, very upright, as she had been taught to sit at the convent.
She appeared to be as calm as a church; her hair fell, black and like a pall, down over both her shoulders. The
fire beside her was burning brightly; she must have just put coals on. She was in a white silk kimono that
covered her to the feet. The clothes that she had taken off were exactly folded upon the proper seats. Her long
hands were one upon each arm of the chair that had a pink and white chintz back.
Leonora told me these things. She seemed to think it extraordinary that the girl could have done such orderly
things as fold up the clothes she had taken off upon such a nightwhen Edward had announced that he was
going to send her to her father, and when, from her mother, she had received that letter. The letter, in its
envelope, was in her right hand.
Leonora did not at first perceive it. She said:
"What are you doing so late?"
The girl answered: "Just thinking."
They seemed to think in whispers and to speak below their breaths. Then Leonora's eyes fell on the envelope,
and she recognized Mrs Rufford's handwriting.
It was one of those moments when thinking was impossible, Leonora said. It was as if stones were being
thrown at her from every direction and she could only run. She heard herself exclaim:
"Edward's dyingbecause of you. He's dying. He's worth more than either of us. . . ."
The girl looked past her at the panels of the halfclosed door.
"My poor father," she said, "my poor father."
"You must stay here," Leonora answered fiercely. "You must stay here. I tell you you must stay here."
"I am going to Glasgow," Nancy answered. "I shall go to Glasgow tomorrow morning. My mother is in
Glasgow."
It appears that it was in Glasgow that Mrs Rufford pursued her disorderly life. She had selected that city, not
because it was more profitable but because it was the natal home of her husband to whom she desired to
cause as much pain as possible.
"You must stay here," Leonora began, "to save Edward. He's dying for love of you."
The girl turned her calm eyes upon Leonora.
"I know it," she said. "And I am dying for love of him."
Leonora uttered an "Ah," that, in spite of herself, was an "Ah" of horror and of grief.
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"That is why," the girl continued, "I am going to Glasgowto take my mother away from there." She added,
"To the ends of the earth," for, if the last months had made her nature that of a woman, her phrases were still
romantically those of a schoolgirl. It was as if she had grown up so quickly that there had not been time to put
her hair up. But she added: "We're no goodmy mother and I."
Leonora said, with her fierce calmness:
"No. No. You're not no good. It's I that am no good. You can't let that man go on to ruin for want of you. You
must belong to him."
The girl, she said, smiled at her with a queer, faraway smileas if she were a thousand years old, as if
Leonora were a tiny child.
"I knew you would come to that,' she said, very slowly. "But we are not worth itEdward and I."
III
NANCY had, in fact, been thinking ever since Leonora had made that comment over the giving of the horse
to young Selmes. She had been thinking and thinking, because she had had to sit for many days silent beside
her aunt's bed. (She had always thought of Leonora as her aunt.) And she had had to sit thinking during many
silent meals with Edward. And then, at times, with his bloodshot eyes and creased, heavy mouth, he would
smile at her. And gradually the knowledge had come to her that Edward did not love Leonora and that
Leonora hated Edward. Several things contributed to form and to harden this conviction.
She was allowed to read the papers in those daysor, rather, since Leonora was always on her bed and
Edward breakfasted alone and went out early, over the estate, she was left alone with the papers. One day, in
the papers, she saw the portrait of a woman she knew very well. Beneath it she read the words: "The Hon.
Mrs Brand, plaintiff in the remarkable divorce case reported on p. 8." Nancy hardly knew what a divorce case
was. She had been so remarkably well brought up, and Roman Catholics do not practise divorce. I don't know
how Leonora had done it exactly. I suppose she had always impressed it on Nancy's mind that nice women
did not read these things, and that would have been enough to make Nancy skip those pages.
She read, at any rate, the account of the Brand divorce caseprincipally because she wanted to tell Leonora
about it. She imagined that Leonora, when her headache left her, would like to know what was happening to
Mrs Brand, who lived at Christchurch, and whom they both liked very well. The case occupied three days,
and the report that Nancy first came upon was that of the third day. Edward, however, kept the papers of the
week, after his methodical fashion, in a rack in his gunroom, and when she had finished her breakfast Nancy
went to that quiet apartment and had what she would have called a good read. It seemed to her to be a queer
affair. She could not understand why one counsel should be so anxious to know all about the movements of
Mr Brand upon a certain day; she could not understand why a chart of the bedroom accommodation at
Christchurch Old Hall should be produced in court. She did not even see why they should want to know that,
upon a certain occasion, the drawingroom door was locked. It made her laugh; it appeared to be all so
senseless that grown people should occupy themselves with such matters. It struck her, nevertheless, as odd
that one of the counsel should crossquestion Mr Brand so insistently and so impertinently as to his feelings
for Miss Lupton. Nancy knew Miss Lupton of Ringwood very wella jolly girl, who rode a horse with two
white fetlocks. Mr Brand persisted that he did not love Miss Lupton. . . . Well, of course he did not love Miss
Lupton; he was a married man. You might as well think of Uncle Edward loving . . . loving anybody but
Leonora. When people were married there was an end of loving. There were, no doubt, people who
misbehavedbut they were poor peopleor people not like those she knew.
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So these matters presented themselves to Nancy's mind. But later on in the case she found that Mr Brand had
to confess to a "guilty intimacy" with some one or other. Nancy imagined that he must have been telling
some one his wife's secrets; she could not understand why that was a serious offence. Of course it was not
very gentlemanlyit lessened her opinion of Mrs Brand. But since she found that Mrs Brand had condoned
that offence, she imagined that they could not have been very serious secrets that Mr Brand had told. And
then, suddenly, it was forced on her conviction that Mr Brandthe mild Mr Brand that she had seen a month
or two before their departure to Nauheim, playing "Blind Man's Buff" with his children and kissing his wife
when he caught herMr Brand and Mrs Brand had been on the worst possible terms. That was incredible.
Yet there it wasin black and white. Mr Brand drank; Mr Brand had struck Mrs Brand to the ground when
he was drunk. Mr Brand was adjudged, in two or three abrupt words, at the end of columns and columns of
paper, to have been guilty of cruelty to his wife and to have committed adultery with Miss Lupton. The last
words conveyed nothing to Nancynothing real, that is to say. She knew that one was commanded not to
commit adulterybut why, she thought, should one? It was probably something like catching salmon out of
seasona thing one did not do. She gathered it had something to do with kissing, or holding some one in
your arms. . . .
And yet the whole effect of that reading upon Nancy was mysterious, terrifying and evil. She felt a
sicknessa sickness that grew as she read. Her heart beat painfully; she began to cry. She asked God how
He could permit such things to be. And she was more certain that Edward did not love Leonora and that
Leonora hated Edward. Perhaps, then, Edward loved some one else. It was unthinkable.
If he could love some one else than Leonora, her fierce unknown heart suddenly spoke in her side, why could
it not be herself? And he did not love her. . . . This had occurred about a month before she got the letter from
her mother. She let the matter rest until the sick feeling went off; it did that in a day or two. Then, finding that
Leonora's headaches had gone, she suddenly told Leonora that Mrs Brand had divorced her husband. She
asked what, exactly, it all meant.
Leonora was lying on the sofa in the hall; she was feeling so weak that she could hardly find the words. She
answered just:
"It means that Mr Brand will be able to marry again."
Nancy said:
"But . . . but . . ." and then: "He will be able to marry Miss Lupton." Leonora just moved a hand in assent. Her
eyes were shut.
"Then . . ." Nancy began. Her blue eyes were full of horror: her brows were tight above them; the lines of
pain about her mouth were very distinct. In her eyes the whole of that familiar, great hall had a changed
aspect. The andirons with the brass flowers at the ends appeared unreal; the burning logs were just logs that
were burning and not the comfortable symbols of an indestructible mode of life. The flame fluttered before
the high fireback; the St Bernard sighed in his sleep. Outside the winter rain fell and fell. And suddenly she
thought that Edward might marry some one else; and she nearly screamed.
Leonora opened her eyes, lying sideways, with her face upon the black and gold pillow of the sofa that was
drawn half across the great fireplace.
"I thought," Nancy said, "I never imagined. . . . Aren't marriages sacraments? Aren't they indissoluble? I
thought you were married . . . and . . ." She was sobbing. "I thought you were married or not married as you
are alive or dead."
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"That," Leonora said, "is the law of the church. It is not the law of the land. . . ."
"Oh yes," Nancy said, "the Brands are Protestants." She felt a sudden safeness descend upon her, and for an
hour or so her mind was at rest. It seemed to her idiotic not to have remembered Henry VIII and the basis
upon which Protestantism rests. She almost laughed at herself.
The long afternoon wore on; the flames still fluttered when the maid made up the fire; the St Bernard awoke
and lolloped away towards the kitchen. And then Leonora opened her eyes and said almost coldly:
"And you? Don't you think you will get married?"
It was so unlike Leonora that, for the moment, the girl was frightened in the dusk. But then, again, it seemed
a perfectly reasonable question.
"I don't know," she answered. "I don't know that anyone wants to marry me."
"Several people want to marry you," Leonora said.
"But I don't want to marry," Nancy answered. "I should like to go on living with you and Edward. I don't
think I am in the way or that I am really an expense. If I went you would have to have a companion. Or,
perhaps, I ought to earn my living. . . ."
"I wasn't thinking of that," Leonora answered in the same dull tone. "You will have money enough from your
father. But most people want to be married."
I believe that she then asked the girl if she would not like to marry me, and that Nancy answered that she
would marry me if she were told to; but that she wanted to go on living there. She added:
"If I married anyone I should want him to be like Edward."
She was frightened out of her life. Leonora writhed on her couch and called out: "Oh, God! . . ."
Nancy ran for the maid; for tablets of aspirin; for wet handkerchiefs. It never occurred to her that Leonora's
expression of agony was for anything else than physical pain.
You are to remember that all this happened a month before Leonora went into the girl's room at night. I have
been casting back again; but I cannot help it. It is so difficult to keep all these people going. I tell you about
Leonora and bring her up to date; then about Edward, who has fallen behind. And then the girl gets
hopelessly left behind. I wish I could put it down in diary form. Thus: On the 1st of September they returned
from Nauheim. Leonora at once took to her bed. By the 1st of October they were all going to meets together.
Nancy had already observed very fully that Edward was strange in his manner. About the 6th of that month
Edward gave the horse to young Selmes, and Nancy had cause to believe that her aunt did not love her uncle.
On the 20th she read the account of the divorce case, which is reported in the papers of the 18th and the two
following days. On the 23rd she had the conversation with her aunt in the hallabout marriage in general
and about her own possible marriage, her aunt's coming to her bedroom did not occur until the 12th of
November. . . .
Thus she had three weeks for introspectionfor introspection beneath gloomy skies, in that old house,
rendered darker by the fact that it lay in a hollow crowned by fir trees with their black shadows. It was not a
good situation for a girl. She began thinking about love, she who had never before considered it as anything
other than a rather humorous, rather nonsensical matter. She remembered chance passages in chance
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booksthings that had not really affected her at all at the time. She remembered someone's love for the
Princess Badrulbadour; she remembered to have heard that love was a flame, a thirst, a withering up of the
vitalsthough she did not know what the vitals were. She had a vague recollection that love was said to
render a hopeless lover's eyes hopeless; she remembered a character in a book who was said to have taken to
drink through love; she remembered that lovers' existences were said to be punctuated with heavy sighs.
Once she went to the little cottage piano that was in the corner of the hall and began to play. It was a tinkly,
reedy instrument, for none of that household had any turn for music. Nancy herself could play a few simple
songs, and she found herself playing. She had been sitting on the window seat, looking out on the fading day.
Leonora had gone to pay some calls; Edward was looking after some planting up in the new spinney. Thus
she found herself playing on the old piano. She did not know how she came to be doing it. A silly lilting
wavering tune came from before her in the duska tune in which major notes with their cheerful insistence
wavered and melted into minor sounds, as, beneath a bridge, the high lights on dark waters melt and waver
and disappear into black depths. Well, it was a silly old tune. . . .
It goes with the wordsthey are about a willow tree, I think:
Thou art to all lost loves the best The only true plant found.
That sort of thing. It is Herrick, I believe, and the music with the reedy, irregular, lilting sound that goes
with Herrick, And it was dusk; the heavy, hewn, dark pillars that supported the gallery were like mourning
presences; the fire had sunk to nothinga mere glow amongst white ashes, . . . It was a sentimental sort of
place and light and hour. . . .
And suddenly Nancy found that she was crying. She was crying quietly; she went on to cry with long
convulsive sobs. It seemed to her that everything gay, everything charming, all light, all sweetness, had gone
out of life. Unhappiness; unhappiness; unhappiness was all around her. She seemed to know no happy being
and she herself was agonizing. . . .
She remembered that Edward's eyes were hopeless; she was certain that he was drinking too much; at times
he sighed deeply. He appeared as a man who was burning with inward flame; drying up in the soul with
thirst; withering up in the vitals. Then, the torturing conviction came to herthe conviction that had visited
her again and againthat Edward must love some one other than Leonora. With her little, pedagogic
sectarianism she remembered that Catholics do not do this thing. But Edward was a Protestant. Then Edward
loved somebody. . . .
And, after that thought, her eyes grew hopeless; she sighed as the old St Bernard beside her did. At meals she
would feel an intolerable desire to drink a glass of wine, and then another and then a third. Then she would
find herself grow gay. . . . But in half an hour the gaiety went; she felt like a person who is burning up with an
inward flame; desiccating at the soul with thirst; withering up in the vitals. One evening she went into
Edward's gunroomhe had gone to a meeting of the National Reserve Committee. On the table beside his
chair was a decanter of whisky. She poured out a wineglassful and drank it off.
Flame then really seemed to fill her body; her legs swelled; her face grew feverish. She dragged her tall
height up to her room and lay in the dark. The bed reeled beneath her; she gave way to the thought that she
was in Edward's arms; that he was kissing her on her face that burned; on her shoulders that burned, and on
her neck that was on fire.
She never touched alcohol again. Not once after that did she have such thoughts. They died out of her mind;
they left only a feeling of shame so insupportable that her brain could not take it in and they vanished. She
imagined that her anguish at the thought of Edward's love for another person was solely sympathy for
Leonora; she determined that the rest of her life must be spent in acting as Leonora's
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handmaidensweeping, tending, embroidering, like some Deborah, some medieval saintI am not,
unfortunately, up in the Catholic hagiology. But I know that she pictured herself as some personage with a
depressed, earnest face and tightly closed lips, in a clear white room, watering flowers or tending an
embroidery frame. Or, she desired to go with Edward to Africa and to throw herself in the path of a charging
lion so that Edward might be saved for Leonora at the cost of her life. Well, along with her sad thoughts she
had her childish ones.
She knew nothingnothing of life, except that one must live sadly. That she now knew. What happened to
her on the night when she received at once the blow that Edward wished her to go to her father in India and
the blow of the letter from her mother was this. She called first upon her sweet Saviourand she thought of
Our Lord as her sweet Saviour!that He might make it impossible that she should go to India. Then she
realized from Edward's demeanour that he was determined that she should go to India. It must then be right
that she should go. Edward was always right in his determinations. He was the Cid; he was Lohengrin; he
was the Chevalier Bayard.
Nevertheless her mind mutinied and revolted. She could not leave that house. She imagined that he wished
her gone that she might not witness his amours with another girl. Well, she was prepared to tell him that she
was ready to witness his amours with another young girl. She would stay there to comfort Leonora.
Then came the desperate shock of the letter from her mother. Her mother said, I believe, something like:
"You have no right to go on living your life of prosperity and respect. You ought to be on the streets with me.
How do you know that you are even Colonel Rufford's daughter?" She did not know what these words meant.
She thought of her mother as sleeping beneath the arches whilst the snow fell. That was the impression
conveyed to her mind by the words "on the streets". A Platonic sense of duty gave her the idea that she ought
to go to comfort her motherthe mother that bore her, though she hardly knew what the words meant. At the
same time she knew that her mother had left her father with another mantherefore she pitied her father, and
thought it terrible in herself that she trembled at the sound of her father's voice. If her mother was that sort of
woman it was natural that her father should have had accesses of madness in which he had struck herself to
the ground. And the voice of her conscience said to her that her first duty was to her parents. It was in accord
with this awakened sense of duty that she undressed with great care and meticulously folded the clothes that
she took off. Sometimes, but not very often, she threw them helterskelter about the room.
And that sense of duty was her prevailing mood when Leonora, tall, cleanrun, goldenhaired, all in black,
appeared in her doorway, and told her that Edward was dying of love for her. She knew then with her
conscious mind what she had known within herself for monthsthat Edward was dyingactually and
physically dyingof love for her. It seemed to her that for one short moment her spirit could say: "Domine,
nunc dimittis, . . . Lord, now, lettest thou thy servant depart in peace." She imagined that she could cheerfully
go away to Glasgow and rescue her fallen mother.
IV
AND it seemed to her to be in tune with the mood, with the hour, and with the woman in front of her to say
that she knew Edward was dying of love for her and that she was dying of love for Edward. For that fact had
suddenly slipped into place and become real for her as the niched marker on a whist tablet slips round with
the pressure of your thumb. That rubber at least was made.
And suddenly Leonora seemed to have become different and she seemed to have become different in her
attitude towards Leonora. It was as if she, in her frail, white, silken kimono, sat beside her fire, but upon a
throne. It was as if Leonora, in her close dress of black lace, with the gleaming white shoulders and the coiled
yellow hair that the girl had always considered the most beautiful thing in the worldit was as if Leonora
had become pinched, shrivelled, blue with cold, shivering, suppliant. Yet Leonora was commanding her. It
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was no good commanding her. She was going on the morrow to her mother who was in Glasgow.
Leonora went on saying that she must stay there to save Edward, who was dying of love for her. And, proud
and happy in the thought that Edward loved her, and that she loved him, she did not even listen to what
Leonora said. It appeared to her that it was Leonora's business to save her husband's body; she, Nancy,
possessed his soula precious thing that she would shield and bear away up in her armsas if Leonora
were a hungry dog, trying to spring up at a lamb that she was carrying. Yes, she felt as if Edward's love were
a precious lamb that she were bearing away from a cruel and predatory beast. For, at that time, Leonora
appeared to her as a cruel and predatory beast. Leonora, Leonora with her hunger, with her cruelty had driven
Edward to madness. He must be sheltered by his love for her and by her loveher love from a great distance
and unspoken, enveloping him, surrounding him, upholding him; by her voice speaking from Glasgow,
saying that she loved, that she adored, that she passed no moment without longing, loving, quivering at the
thought of him.
Leonora said loudly, insistently, with a bitterly imperative tone:
"You must stay here; you must belong to Edward. I will divorce him."
The girl answered:
"The Church does not allow of divorce. I cannot belong to your husband. I am going to Glasgow to rescue my
mother."
The halfopened door opened noiselessly to the full. Edward was there. His devouring, doomed eyes were
fixed on the girl's face; his shoulders slouched forward; he was undoubtedly half drunk and he had the whisky
decanter in one hand, a slanting candlestick in the other. He said, with a heavy ferocity, to Nancy:
"I forbid you to talk about these things. You are to stay here until I hear from your father. Then you will go to
your father."
The two women, looking at each other, like beasts about to spring, hardly gave a glance to him. He leaned
against the doorpost. He said again:
"Nancy, I forbid you to talk about these things. I am the master of this house." And, at the sound of his voice,
heavy, male, coming from a deep chest, in the night with the blackness behind him, Nancy felt as if her spirit
bowed before him, with folded hands. She felt that she would go to India, and that she desired never again to
talk of these things.
Leonora said:
"You see that it is your duty to belong to him. He must not be allowed to go on drinking."
Nancy did not answer. Edward was gone; they heard him slipping and shambling on the polished oak of the
stairs. Nancy screamed when there came the sound of a heavy fall. Leonora said again:
"You see!"
The sounds went on from the hall below; the light of the candle Edward held flickered up between the hand
rails of the gallery. Then they heard his voice:
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"Give me Glasgow . . . Glasgow, in Scotland . . I want the number of a man called White, of Simrock Park,
Glasgow . . . Edward White, Simrock Park, Glasgow . . . ten minutes . . . at this time of night . . ." His voice
was quite level, normal, and patient. Alcohol took him in the legs, not the speech. "I can wait," his voice
came again. "Yes, I know they have a number. I have been in communication with them before."
"He is going to telephone to your mother," Leonora said. "He will make it all right for her." She got up and
closed the door. She came back to the fire, and added bitterly: "He can always make it all right for everybody,
except meexcepting me!"
The girl said nothing. She sat there in a blissful dream. She seemed to see her lover sitting as he always sat, in
a roundbacked chair, in the dark hallsitting low, with the receiver at his ear, talking in a gentle, slow
voice, that he reserved for the telephoneand saving the world and her, in the black darkness. She moved
her hand over the bareness of the base of her throat, to have the warmth of flesh upon it and upon her bosom.
She said nothing; Leonora went on talking. . . .
God knows what Leonora said. She repeated that the girl must belong to her husband. She said that she used
that phrase because, though she might have a divorce, or even a dissolution of the marriage by the Church, it
would still be adultery that the girl and Edward would be committing. But she said that that was necessary; it
was the price that the girl must pay for the sin of having made Edward love her, for the sin of loving her
husband. She talked on and on, beside the fire. The girl must become an adulteress; she had wronged Edward
by being so beautiful, so gracious, so good. It was sinful to be so good. She must pay the price so as to save
the man she had wronged.
In between her pauses the girl could hear the voice of Edward, droning on, indistinguishably, with jerky
pauses for replies. It made her glow with pride; the man she loved was working for her. He at least was
resolved; was malely determined; knew the right thing. Leonora talked on with her eyes boring into Nancy's.
The girl hardly looked at her and hardly heard her. After a long time Nancy saidafter hours and hours:
"I shall go to India as soon as Edward hears from my father. I cannot talk about these things, because Edward
does not wish it."
At that Leonora screamed out and wavered swiftly towards the closed door. And Nancy found that she was
springing out of her chair with her white arms stretched wide. She was clasping the other woman to her
breast; she was saying:
"Oh, my poor dear; oh, my poor dear." And they sat, crouching together in each other's arms, and crying and
crying; and they lay down in the same bed, talking and talking, all through the night. And all through the
night Edward could hear their voices through the wall. That was how it went. . . .
Next morning they were all three as if nothing had happened. Towards eleven Edward came to Nancy, who
was arranging some Christmas roses in a silver bowl. He put a telegram beside her on the table. "You can
uncode it for yourself," he said. Then, as he went out of the door, he said: "You can tell your aunt I have
cabled to Mr Dowell to come over. He will make things easier till you leave." The telegram when it was
uncoded, read, as far as I can remember: "Will take Mrs Rufford to Italy. Undertake to do this for certain. Am
devotedly attached to Mrs Rufford. Have no need of financial assistance. Did not know there was a daughter,
and am much obliged to you for pointing out my duty.White." It was something like that. Then the
household resumed its wonted course of days until my arrival.
V
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IT is this part of the story that makes me saddest of all. For I ask myself unceasingly, my mind going round
and round in a weary, baffled space of painwhat should these people have done? What, in the name of
God, should they have done?
The end was perfectly plain to each of themit was perfectly manifest at this stage that, if the girl did not, in
Leonora's phrase, "belong to Edward," Edward must die, the girl must lose her reason because Edward
diedand, that after a time, Leonora, who was the coldest and the strongest of the three, would console
herself by marrying Rodney Bayham and have a quiet, comfortable, good time. That end, on that night, whilst
Leonora sat in the girl's bedroom and Edward telephoned down belowthat end was plainly manifest. The
girl, plainly, was halfmad already; Edward was half dead; only Leonora, active, persistent, instinct with her
cold passion of energy, was "doing things". What then, should they have done? worked out in the extinction
of two very splendid personalitiesfor Edward and the girl were splendid personalities, in order that a third
personality, more normal, should have, after a long period of trouble, a quiet, comfortable, good time.
I am writing this, now, I should say, a full eighteen months after the words that end my last chapter. Since
writing the words "until my arrival", which I see end that paragraph, I have seen again for a glimpse, from a
swift train, Beaucaire with the beautiful white tower, Tarascon with the square castle, the great Rhone, the
immense stretches of the Crau. I have rushed through all Provenceand all Provence no longer matters. It is
no longer in the olive hills that I shall find my Heaven; because there is only Hell. . . .
Edward is dead; the girl is goneoh, utterly gone; Leonora is having a good time with Rodney Bayham, and
I sit alone in Branshaw Teleragh. I have been through Provence; I have seen Africa; I have visited Asia to
see, in Ceylon, in a darkened room, my poor girl, sitting motionless, with her wonderful hair about her,
looking at me with eyes that did not see me, and saying distinctly: "Credo in unum Deum omnipotentem. . . .
Credo in unum Deum omnipotentem." Those are the only reasonable words she uttered; those are the only
words, it appears, that she ever will utter. I suppose that they are reasonable words; it must be extraordinarily
reasonable for her, if she can say that she believes in an Omnipotent Deity. Well, there it is. I am very tired of
it. all. . . .
For, I daresay, all this may sound romantic, but it is tiring, tiring, tiring to have been in the midst of it; to have
taken the tickets; to have caught the trains; to have chosen the cabins; to have consulted the purser and the
stewards as to diet for the quiescent patient who did nothing but announce her belief in an Omnipotent Deity.
That may sound romanticbut it is just a record of fatigue.
I don't know why I should always be selected to be serviceable. I don't resent itbut I have never been the
least good. Florence selected me for her own purposes, and I was no good to her; Edward called me to come
and have a chat with him, and I couldn't stop him cutting his throat.
And then, one day eighteen months ago, I was quietly writing in my room at Branshaw when Leonora came
to me with a letter. It was a very pathetic letter from Colonel Rufford about Nancy. Colonel Rufford had left
the army and had taken up an appointment at a teaplanting estate in Ceylon. His letter was pathetic because
it was so brief, so inarticulate, and so businesslike. He had gone down to the boat to meet his daughter, and
had found his daughter quite mad. It appears that at Aden Nancy had seen in a local paper the news of
Edward's suicide. In the Red Sea she had gone mad. She had remarked to Mrs Colonel Luton, who was
chaperoning her, that she believed in an Omnipotent Deity. She hadn't made any fuss; her eyes were quite dry
and glassy. Even when she was mad Nancy could behave herself.
Colonel Rufford said the doctor did not anticipate that there was any chance of his child's recovery. It was,
nevertheless, possible that if she could see someone from Branshaw it might soothe her and it might have a
good effect. And he just simply wrote to Leonora: "Please come and see if you can do it."
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I seem to have lost all sense of the pathetic; but still, that simple, enormous request of the old colonel strikes
me as pathetic. He was cursed by his atrocious temper; he had been cursed by a halfmad wife, who drank
and went on the streets. His daughter was totally madand yet he believed in the goodness of human nature.
He believed that Leonora would take the trouble to go all the way to Ceylon in order to soothe his daughter.
Leonora wouldn't. Leonora didn't ever want to see Nancy again. I daresay that that, in the circumstances, was
natural enough. At the same time she agreed, as it were, on public grounds, that someone soothing ought to
go from Branshaw to Ceylon. She sent me and her old nurse, who had looked after Nancy from the time
when the girl, a child of thirteen, had first come to Branshaw. So off I go, rushing through Provence, to catch
the steamer at Marseilles. And I wasn't the least good when I got to Ceylon; and the nurse wasn't the least
good. Nothing has been the least good.
The doctors said, at Kandy, that if Nancy could be brought to England, the sea air, the change of climate, the
voyage, and all the usual sort of things, might restore her reason. Of course, they haven't restored her reason.
She is, I am aware, sitting in the hall, forty paces from where I am now writing. I don't want to be in the least
romantic about it. She is very well dressed; she is quite quiet; she is very beautiful. The old nurse looks after
her very efficiently.
Of course you have the makings of a situation here, but it is all very humdrum, as far as I am concerned. I
should marry Nancy if her reason were ever sufficiently restored to let her appreciate the meaning of the
Anglican marriage service. But it is probable that her reason will never be sufficiently restored to let her
appreciate the meaning of the Anglican marriage service. Therefore I cannot marry her, according to the law
of the land.
So here I am very much where I started thirteen years ago. I am the attendant, not the husband, of a beautiful
girl, who pays no attention to me. I am estranged from Leonora, who married Rodney Bayham in my absence
and went to live at Bayham. Leonora rather dislikes me, because she has got it into her head that I disapprove
of her marriage with Rodney Bayham. Well, I disapprove of her marriage. Possibly I am jealous. Yes, no
doubt I am jealous. In my fainter sort of way I seem to perceive myself following the lines of Edward
Ashburnham. I suppose that I should really like to be a polygamist; with Nancy, and with Leonora, and with
Maisie Maidan and possibly even with Florence. I am no doubt like every other man; only, probably because
of my American origin I am fainter. At the same time I am able to assure you that I am a strictly respectable
person. I have never done anything that the most anxious mother of a daughter or the most careful dean of a
cathedral would object to. I have only followed, faintly, and in my unconscious desires, Edward
Ashburnham. Well, it is all over. Not one of us has got what he really wanted. Leonora wanted Edward, and
she has got Rodney Bayham, a pleasant enough sort of sheep. Florence wanted Branshaw, and it is I who
have bought it from Leonora. I didn't really want it; what I wanted mostly was to cease being a
nurseattendant. Well, I am a nurseattendant. Edward wanted Nancy Rufford, and I have got her. Only she
is mad. It is a queer and fantastic world. Why can't people have what they want? The things were all there to
content everybody; yet everybody has the wrong thing. Perhaps you can make head or tail of it; it is beyond
me.
Is there any terrestial paradise where, amidst the whispering of the oliveleaves, people can be with whom
they like and have what they like and take their ease in shadows and in coolness? Or are all men's lives like
the lives of us good peoplelike the lives of the Ashburnhams, of the Dowells, of the Ruffordsbroken,
tumultuous, agonized, and unromantic, lives, periods punctuated by screams, by imbecilities, by deaths, by
agonies? Who the devil knows?
For there was a great deal of imbecility about the closing scenes of the Ashburnham tragedy. Neither of those
two women knew what they wanted. It was only Edward who took a perfectly clear line, and he was drunk
most of the time. But, drunk or sober, he stuck to what was demanded by convention and by the traditions of
his house. Nancy Rufford had to be exported to India, and Nancy Rufford hadn't to hear a word of love from
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him. She was exported to India and she never heard a word from Edward Ashburnham.
It was the conventional line; it was in tune with the tradition of Edward's house. I daresay it worked out for
the greatest good of the body politic. Conventions and traditions, I suppose, work blindly but surely for the
preservation of the normal type; for the extinction of proud, resolute and unusual individuals.
Edward was the normal man, but there was too much of the sentimentalist about him; and society does not
need too many sentimentalists. Nancy was a splendid creature, but she had about her a touch of madness.
Society does not need individuals with touches of madness about them. So Edward and Nancy found
themselves steamrolled out and Leonora survives, the perfectly normal type, married to a man who is rather
like a rabbit. For Rodney Bayham is rather like a rabbit, and I hear that Leonora is expected to have a baby in
three months' time.
So those splendid and tumultuous creatures with their magnetism and their passionsthose two that I really
lovedhave gone from this earth. It is no doubt best for them. What would Nancy have made of Edward if
she had succeeded in living with him; what would Edward have made of her? For there was about Nancy a
touch of crueltya touch of definite actual cruelty that made her desire to see people suffer. Yes, she desired
to see Edward suffer. And, by God, she gave him hell.
She gave him an unimaginable hell. Those two women pursued that poor devil and flayed the skin off him as
if they had done it with whips. I tell you his mind bled almost visibly. I seem to see him stand, naked to the
waist, his forearms shielding his eyes, and flesh hanging from him in rags. I tell you that is no exaggeration
of what I feel. It was as if Leonora and Nancy banded themselves together to do execution, for the sake of
humanity, upon the body of a man who was at their disposal. They were like a couple of Sioux who had got
hold of an Apache and had him well tied to a stake. I tell you there was no end to the tortures they inflicted
upon him.
Night after night he would hear them talking; talking; maddened, sweating, seeking oblivion in drink, he
would lie there and hear the voices going on and on. And day after day Leonora would come to him and
would announce the results of their deliberations.
They were like judges debating over the sentence upon a criminal; they were like ghouls with an immobile
corpse in a tomb beside them.
I don't think that Leonora was any more to blame than the girlthough Leonora was the more active of the
two. Leonora, as I have said, was the perfectly normal woman. I mean to say that in normal circumstances her
desires were those of the woman who is needed by society. She desired children, decorum, an establishment;
she desired to avoid waste, she desired to keep up appearances. She was utterly and entirely normal even in
her utterly undeniable beauty. But I don't mean to say that she acted perfectly normally in this perfectly
abnormal situation. All the world was mad around her and she herself, agonized, took on the complexion of a
mad woman; of a woman very wicked; of the villain of the piece. What would you have? Steel is a normal,
hard, polished substance. But, if you put it in a hot fire it will become red, soft, and not to be handled. If you
put it in a fire still more hot it will drip away. It was like that with Leonora. She was made for normal
circumstancesfor Mr Rodney Bayham, who will keep a separate establishment, secretly, in Portsmouth,
and make occasional trips to Paris and to Budapest.
In the case of Edward and the girl, Leonora broke and simply went all over the place. She adopted unfamiliar
and therefore extraordinary and ungraceful attitudes of mind. At one moment she was all for revenge. After
haranguing the girl for hours through the night she harangued for hours of the day the silent Edward. And
Edward just once tripped up, and that was his undoing. Perhaps he had had too much whisky that afternoon.
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She asked him perpetually what he wanted. What did he want? What did he want? And all he ever answered
was: "I have told you". He meant that he wanted the girl to go to her father in India as soon as her father
should cable that he was ready to receive her. But just once he tripped up. To Leonora's eternal question he
answered that all he desired in life was thatthat he could pick himself together again and go on with his
daily occupations ifthe girl, being five thousand miles away, would continue to love him. He wanted
nothing more, He prayed his God for nothing more. Well, he was a sentimentalist.
And the moment that she heard that, Leonora determined that the girl should not go five thousand miles away
and that she should not continue to love Edward. The way she worked it was this:
She continued to tell the girl that she must belong to Edward; she was going to get a divorce; she was going
to get a dissolution of marriage from Rome. But she considered it to be her duty to warn the girl of the sort of
monster that Edward was. She told the girl of La Dolciquita, of Mrs Basil, of Maisie Maidan, of Florence.
She spoke of the agonies that she had endured during her life with the man, who was violent, overbearing,
vain, drunken, arrogant, and monstrously a prey to his sexual necessities. And, at hearing of the miseries her
aunt had sufferedfor Leonora once more had the aspect of an aunt to the girlwith the swift cruelty of
youth and, with the swift solidarity that attaches woman to woman, the girl made her resolves. Her aunt said
incessantly: "You must save Edward's life; you must save his life. All that he needs is a little period of
satisfaction from you. Then he will tire of you as he has of the others. But you must save his life."
And, all the while, that wretched fellow knewby a curious instinct that runs between human beings living
togetherexactly what was going on. And he remained dumb; he stretched out no finger to help himself. All
that he required to keep himself a decent member of society was, that the girl, five thousand miles away,
should continue to love him. They were putting a stopper upon that.
I have told you that the girl came one night to his room. And that was the real hell for him. That was the
picture that never left his imaginationthe girl, in the dim light, rising up at the foot of his bed. He said that
it seemed to have a greenish sort of effect as if there were a greenish tinge in the shadows of the tall bedposts
that framed her body. And she looked at him with her straight eyes of an unflinching cruelty and she said: "I
am ready to belong to youto save your life."
He answered: "I don't want it; I don't want it; I don't want it."
And he says that he didn't want it; that he would have hated himself; that it was unthinkable. And all the
while he had the immense temptation to do the unthinkable thing, not from the physical desire but because of
a mental certitude. He was certain that if she had once submitted to him she would remain his for ever. He
knew that.
She was thinking that her aunt had said he had desired her to love him from a distance of five thousand miles.
She said: "I can never love you now I know the kind of man you are. I will belong to you to save your life.
But I can never love you."
It was a fantastic display of cruelty. She didn't in the least know what it meantto belong to a man. But, at
that Edward pulled himself together. He spoke in his normal tones; gruff, husky, overbearing, as he would
have done to a servant or to a horse.
"Go back to your room," he said. "Go back to your room and go to sleep. This is all nonsense."
They were baffled, those two women.
And then I came on the scene.
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VI
MY coming on the scene certainly calmed things downfor the whole fortnight that intervened between my
arrival and the girl's departure. I don't mean to say that the endless talking did not go on at night or that
Leonora did not send me out with the girl and, in the interval, give Edward a hell of a time. Having
discovered what he wantedthat the girl should go five thousand miles away and love him steadfastly as
people do in sentimental novels, she was determined to smash that aspiration. And she repeated to Edward in
every possible tone that the girl did not love him; that the girl detested him for his brutality, his
overbearingness, his drinking habits. She pointed out that Edward in the girl's eyes, was already pledged three
or four deep. He was pledged to Leonora herself, to Mrs Basil, and to the memories of Maisie Maidan and to
Florence. Edward never said anything.
Did the girl love Edward, or didn't she? I don't know. At that time I daresay she didn't though she certainly
had done so before Leonora had got to work upon his reputation. She certainly had loved him for what I call
the public side of his recordfor his good soldiering, for his saving lives at sea, for the excellent landlord
that he was and the good sportsman. But it is quite possible that all those things came to appear as nothing in
her eyes when she discovered that he wasn't a good husband. For, though women, as I see them, have little or
no feeling of responsibility towards a county or a country or a careeralthough they may be entirely lacking
in any kind of communal solidaritythey have an immense and automatically working instinct that attaches
them to the interest of womanhood. It is, of course, possible for any woman to cut out and to carry off any
other woman's husband or lover. But I rather think that a woman will only do this if she has reason to believe
that the other woman has given her husband a bad time. I am certain that if she thinks the man has been a
brute to his wife she will, with her instinctive feeling for suffering femininity, "put him back", as the saying
is. I don't attach any particular importance to these generalizations of mine. They may be right, they may be
wrong; I am only an ageing American with very little knowledge of life. You may take my generalizations or
leave them. But I am pretty certain that I am right in the case of Nancy Ruffordthat she had loved Edward
Ashburnham very deeply and tenderly.
It is nothing to the point that she let him have it good and strong as soon as she discovered that he had been
unfaithful to Leonora and that his public services had cost more than Leonora thought they ought to have
cost. Nancy would be bound to let him have it good and strong then. She would owe that to feminine public
opinion; she would be driven to it by the instinct for selfpreservation, since she might well imagine that if
Edward had been unfaithful to Leonora, to Mrs Basil and to the memories of the other two, he might be
unfaithful to herself. And, no doubt, she had her share of the sex instinct that makes women be intolerably
cruel to the beloved person. Anyhow, I don't know whether, at this point, Nancy Rufford loved Edward
Ashburnham. I don't know whether she even loved him when, on getting, at Aden, the news of his suicide she
went mad. Because that may just as well have been for the sake of Leonora as for the sake of Edward. Or it
may have been for the sake of both of them. I don't know. I know nothing. I am very tired.
Leonora held passionately the doctrine that the girl didn't love Edward. She wanted desperately to believe
that. It was a doctrine as necessary to her existence as a belief in the personal immortality of the soul. She
said that it was impossible that Nancy could have loved Edward after she had given the girl her view of
Edward's career and character. Edward, on the other hand, believed maunderingly that some essential
attractiveness in himself must have made the girl continue to go on loving himto go on loving him, as it
were, in underneath her official aspect of hatred. He thought she only pretended to hate him in order to save
her face and he thought that her quite atrocious telegram from Brindisi was only another attempt to do
thatto prove that she had feelings creditable to a member of the feminine commonweal. I don't know. I
leave it to you.
There is another point that worries me a good deal in the aspects of this sad affair. Leonora says that, in
desiring that the girl should go five thousand miles away and yet continue to love him, Edward was a monster
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of selfishness. He was desiring the ruin of a young life. Edward on the other hand put it to me that, supposing
that the girl's love was a necessity to his existence, and, if he did nothing by word or by action to keep
Nancy's love alive, he couldn't be called selfish. Leonora replied that showed he had an abominably selfish
nature even though his actions might be perfectly correct. I can't make out which of them was right. I leave it
to you.
it is, at any rate, certain that Edward's actions were perfectlywere monstrously, were cruellycorrect. He
sat still and let Leonora take away his character, and let Leonora damn him to deepest hell, without stirring a
finger. I daresay he was a fool; I don't see what object there was in letting the girl think worse of him than
was necessary. Still there it is. And there it is also that all those three presented to the world the spectacle of
being the best of good people. I assure you that during my stay for that fortnight in that fine old house, I
never so much as noticed a single thing that could have affected that good opinion. And even when I look
back, knowing the circumstances, I can't remember a single thing any of them said that could have betrayed
them. I can't remember, right up to the dinner, when Leonora read out that telegramnot the tremor of an
eyelash, not the shaking of a hand. It was just a pleasant country houseparty.
And Leonora kept it up jolly well, for even longer than thatshe kept it up as far as I was concerned until
eight days after Edward's funeral. Immediately after that particular dinnerthe dinner at which I received the
announcement that Nancy was going to leave for India on the following dayI asked Leonora to let me have
a word with her. She took me into her little sittingroom and I then saidI spare you the record of my
emotionsthat she was aware that I wished to marry Nancy; that she had seemed to favour my suit and that
it appeared to be rather a waste of money upon tickets and rather a waste of time upon travel to let the girl go
to India if Leonora thought that there was any chance of her marrying me.
And Leonora, I assure you, was the absolutely perfect British matron. She said that she quite favoured my
suit; that she could not desire for the girl a better husband; but that she considered that the girl ought to see a
little more of life before taking such an important step. Yes, Leonora used the words "taking such an
important step". She was perfect. Actually, I think she would have liked the girl to marry me enough but my
programme included the buying of the Kershaw's house about a mile away upon the Fordingbridge road, and
settling down there with the girl. That didn't at all suit Leonora. She didn't want to have the girl within a mile
and a half of Edward for the rest of their lives. Still, I think she might have managed to let me know, in some
periphrasis or other, that I might have the girl if I would take her to Philadelphia or Timbuctoo. I loved Nancy
very muchand Leonora knew it.
However, I left it at that. I left it with the understanding that Nancy was going away to India on probation. It
seemed to me a perfectly reasonable arrangement and I am a reasonable sort of man. I simply said that I
should follow Nancy out to India after six months' time or so. Or, perhaps, after a year. Well, you see, I did
follow Nancy out to India after a year. . . .
I must confess to having felt a little angry with Leonora for not having warned me earlier that the girl would
be going. I took it as one of the queer, not very straight methods that Roman Catholics seem to adopt in
dealing with matters of this world. I took it that Leonora had been afraid I should propose to the girl or, at any
rate, have made considerably greater advances to her than I did, if I had known earlier that she was going
away so soon. Perhaps Leonora was right; perhaps Roman Catholics, with their queer, shifty ways, are
always right. They are dealing with the queer, shifty thing that is human nature. For it is quite possible that, if
I had known Nancy was going away so soon, I should have tried making love to her. And that would have
produced another complication. It may have been just as well.
It is queer the fantastic things that quite good people will do in order to keep up their appearance of calm
pococurantism. For Edward Ashburnham and his wife called me half the world over in order to sit on the
back seat of a dogcart whilst Edward drove the girl to the railway station from which she was to take her
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departure to India. They wanted, I suppose, to have a witness of the calmness of that function. The girl's
luggage had been already packed and sent off before. Her berth on the steamer had been taken. They had
timed it all so exactly that it went like clockwork. They had known the date upon which Colonel Rufford
would get Edward's letter and they had known almost exactly the hour at which they would receive his
telegram asking his daughter to come to him. It had all been quite beautifully and quite mercilessly arranged,
by Edward himself. They gave Colonel Rufford, as a reason for telegraphing, the fact that Mrs Colonel
Somebody or other would be travelling by that ship and that she would serve as an efficient chaperon for the
girl. It was a most amazing business, and I think that it would have been better in the eyes of God if they had
all attempted to gouge out each other's eyes with carving knives. But they were "good people".
After my interview with Leonora I went desultorily into Edward's gunroom. I didn't know where the girl
was and I thought I mind find her there. I suppose I had a vague idea of proposing to her in spite of Leonora.
So, I presume, I don't come of quite such good people as the Ashburnhams. Edward was lounging in his chair
smoking a cigar and he said nothing for quite five minutes. The candles glowed in the green shades; the
reflections were green in the glasses of the bookcases that held guns and fishingrods. Over the mantelpiece
was the brownish picture of the white horse. Those were the quietest moments that I have ever known. Then,
suddenly, Edward looked me straight in the eyes and said:
"Look here, old man, I wish you would drive with Nancy and me to the station tomorrow."
I said that of course I would drive with him and Nancy to the station on the morrow. He lay there for a long
time, looking along the line of his knees at the fluttering fire, and then suddenly, in a perfectly calm voice,
and without lifting his eyes, he said:
"I am so desperately in love with Nancy Rufford that I am dying of it."
Poor devilhe hadn't meant to speak of it. But I guess he just had to speak to somebody and I appeared to be
like a woman or a solicitor. He talked all night.
Well, he carried out the programme to the last breath.
It was a very clear winter morning, with a good deal of frost in it. The sun was quite bright, the winding road
between the heather and the bracken was very hard. I sat on the backseat of the dogcart; Nancy was beside
Edward. They talked about the way the cob went; Edward pointed out with the whip a cluster of deer upon a
coombe threequarters of a mile away. We passed the hounds in the level bit of road beside the high trees
going into Fordingbridge and Edward pulled up the dogcart so that Nancy might say goodbye to the
huntsman and cap him a last sovereign. She had ridden with those hounds ever since she had been thirteen.
The train was five minutes late and they imagined that that was because it was marketday at Swindon or
wherever the train came from. That was the sort of thing they talked about. The train came in; Edward found
her a firstclass carriage with an elderly woman in it. The girl entered the carriage, Edward closed the door
and then she put out her hand to shake mine. There was upon those people's faces no expression of any kind
whatever. The signal for the train's departure was a very bright red; that is about as passionate a statement as I
can get into that scene. She was not looking her best; she had on a cap of brown fur that did not very well
match her hair. She said:
"So long," to Edward.
Edward answered: "So long."
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He swung round on his heel and, large, slouching, and walking with a heavy deliberate pace, he went out of
the station. I followed him and got up beside him in the high dogcart. It was the most horrible performance I
have ever seen.
And, after that, a holy peace, like the peace of God which passes all understanding, descended upon
Branshaw Teleragh. Leonora went about her daily duties with a sort of triumphant smilea very faint smile,
but quite triumphant. I guess she had so long since given up any idea of getting her man back that it was
enough for her to have got the girl out of the house and well cured of her infatuation. Once, in the hall, when
Leonora was going out, Edward said, beneath his breathbut I just caught the words:
"Thou hast conquered, O pale Galilean."
It was like his sentimentality to quote Swinburne.
But he was perfectly quiet and he had given up drinking. The only thing that he ever said to me after that
drive to the station was:
"It's very odd. I think I ought to tell you, Dowell, that I haven't any feelings at all about the girl now it's all
over. Don't you worry about me. I'm all right." A long time afterwards he said: "I guess it was only a flash in
the pan." He began to look after the estates again; he took all that trouble over getting off the gardener's
daughter who had murdered her baby. He shook hands smilingly with every farmer in the marketplace. He
addressed two political meetings; he hunted twice. Leonora made him a frightful scene about spending the
two hundred pounds on getting the gardener's daughter acquitted. Everything went on as if the girl had never
existed. It was very still weather.
Well, that is the end of the story. And, when I come to look at it I see that it is a happy ending with wedding
bells and all. The villainsfor obviously Edward and the girl were villainshave been punished by suicide
and madness. The heroinethe perfectly normal, virtuous and slightly deceitful heroinehas become the
happy wife of a perfectly normal, virtuous and slightly deceitful husband. She will shortly become a mother
of a perfectly normal, virtuous slightly deceitful son or daughter. A happy ending, that is what it works out at.
I cannot conceal from myself the fact that I now dislike Leonora. Without doubt I am jealous of Rodney
Bayham. But I don't know whether it is merely a jealousy arising from the fact that I desired myself to
possess Leonora or whether it is because to her were sacrificed the only two persons that I have ever really
lovedEdward Ashburnham and Nancy Rufford. In order to set her up in a modern mansion, replete with
every convenience and dominated by a quite respectable and eminently economical master of the house, it
was necessary that Edward and Nancy Rufford should become, for me at least, no more than tragic shades.
I seem to see poor Edward, naked and reclining amidst darkness, upon cold rocks, like one of the ancient
Greek damned, in Tartarus or wherever it was.
And as for Nancy . . . Well, yesterday at lunch she said suddenly:
"Shuttlecocks!"
And she repeated the word "shuttlecocks" three times. I know what was passing in her mind, if she can be
said to have a mind, for Leonora has told me that, once, the poor girl said she felt like a shuttlecock being
tossed backwards and forwards between the violent personalities of Edward and his wife. Leonora, she said,
was always trying to deliver her over to Edward, and Edward tacitly and silently forced her back again. And
the odd thing was that Edward himself considered that those two women used him like a shuttlecock. Or,
rather, he said that they sent him backwards and forwards like a blooming parcel that someone didn't want to
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pay the postage on. And Leonora also imagined that Edward and Nancy picked her up and threw her down as
suited their purely vagrant moods. So there you have the pretty picture. Mind, I am not preaching anything
contrary to accepted morality. I am not advocating free love in this or any other case. Society must go on, I
suppose, and society can only exist if the normal, if the virtuous, and the slightly deceitful flourish, and if the
passionate, the headstrong, and the tootruthful are condemned to suicide and to madness. But I guess that I
myself, in my fainter way, come into the category of the passionate, of the headstrong, and the tootruthful.
For I can't conceal from myself the fact that I loved Edward Ashburnhamand that I love him because he
was just myself. If I had had the courage and virility and possibly also the physique of Edward Ashburnham I
should, I fancy, have done much what he did. He seems to me like a large elder brother who took me out on
several excursions and did many dashing things whilst I just watched him robbing the orchards, from a
distance. And, you see, I am just as much of a sentimentalist as he was. . . .
Yes, society must go on; it must breed, like rabbits. That is what we are here for. But then, I don't like
societymuch. I am that absurd figure, an American millionaire, who has bought one of the ancient haunts
of English peace. I sit here, in Edward's gunroom, all day and all day in a house that is absolutely quiet. No
one visits me, for I visit no one. No one is interested in me, for I have no interests. In twenty minutes or so I
shall walk down to the village, beneath my own oaks, alongside my own clumps of gorse, to get the
American mail. My tenants, the village boys and the tradesmen will touch their hats to me. So life peters out.
I shall return to dine and Nancy will sit opposite me with the old nurse standing behind her. Enigmatic, silent,
utterly wellbehaved as far as her knife and fork go, Nancy will stare in front of her with the blue eyes that
have over them strained, stretched brows. Once, or perhaps twice, during the meal her knife and fork will be
suspended in midair as if she were trying to think of something that she had forgotten. Then she will say
that she believes in an Omnipotent Deity or she will utter the one word "shuttlecocks", perhaps. It is very
extraordinary to see the perfect flush of health on her cheeks, to see the lustre of her coiled black hair, the
poise of the head upon the neck, the grace of the white handsand to think that it all means nothingthat it
is a picture without a meaning. Yes, it is queer.
But, at any rate, there is always Leonora to cheer you up; I don't want to sadden you. Her husband is quite an
economical person of so normal a figure that he can get quite a large proportion of his clothes readymade.
That is the great desideratum of life, and that is the end of my story. The child is to be brought up as a
Romanist.
It suddenly occurs to me that I have forgotten to say how Edward met his death. You remember that peace
had descended upon the house; that Leonora was quietly triumphant and that Edward said his love for the girl
had been merely a passing phase. Well, one afternoon we were in the stables together, looking at a new kind
of flooring that Edward was trying in a loosebox. Edward was talking with a good deal of animation about
the necessity of getting the numbers of the Hampshire territorials up to the proper standard. He was quite
sober, quite quiet, his skin was clearcoloured; his hair was golden and perfectly brushed; the level
brickdust red of his complexion went clean up to the rims of his eyelids; his eyes were porcelain blue and
they regarded me frankly and directly. His face was perfectly expressionless; his voice was deep and rough.
He stood well back upon his legs and said: .
"We ought to get them up to two thousand three hundred and fifty." A stableboy brought him a telegram and
went away. He opened it negligently, regarded it without emotion, and, in complete silence, handed it to me.
On the pinkish paper in a sprawled handwriting I read: "Safe Brindisi. Having rattling good time. Nancy."
Well, Edward was the English gentleman; but he was also, to the last, a sentimentalist, whose mind was
compounded of indifferent poems and novels. He just looked up to the roof of the stable, as if he were
looking to Heaven, and whispered something that I did not catch.
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Then he put two fingers into the waistcoat pocket of his grey, frieze suit; they came out with a little neat
penknifequite a small penknife. He said to me:
"You might just take that wire to Leonora." And he looked at me with a direct, challenging, browbeating
glare. I guess he could see in my eyes that I didn't intend to hinder him. Why should I hinder him?
I didn't think he was wanted in the world, let his confounded tenants, his rifleassociations, his drunkards,
reclaimed and unreclaimed, get on as they liked. Not all the hundreds and hundreds of them deserved that that
poor devil should go on suffering for their sakes.
When he saw that I did not intend to interfere with him his eyes became soft and almost affectionate. He
remarked:
"So long, old man, I must have a bit of a rest, you know."
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say, "God bless you", for I also am a sentimentalist. But I thought that
perhaps that would not be quite English good form, so I trotted off with the telegram to Leonora. She was
quite pleased with it.
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Bookmarks
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