Jonathan Swift ..........................................................................................................................................1

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate friend; there is likewise some

relation between us on the mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the concourse

of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a convenient

house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father dwelt, yet I have heard him say his

family came from Oxfordshire; to confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in that

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following papers in my hands, with the liberty to dispose

of them as I should think fit. I have carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain and simple;

and the only fault I find is, that the author, after the manner of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There is

an air of truth apparent through the whole; and indeed the author was so distinguished for his veracity, that it

became a sort of proverb among his neighbours at Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say, it was as

By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author's permission, I communicated these

papers, I now venture to send them into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better

entertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles of politics and party.

This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made bold to strike out innumerable

passages relating to the winds and tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several voyages,

together with the minute descriptions of the management of the ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise

the account of longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr. Gulliver may be a little

dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers.

However, if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some mistakes, I alone am

answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the

As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will receive satisfaction from the first pages of

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called to it, that by your great and frequent

urgency you prevailed on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with directions to

hire some young gentleman of either university to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin

Dampier did, by my advice, in his book called "A Voyage round the world." But I do not remember I gave

you power to consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that any thing should be inserted;

therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a paragraph about her

majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than

any of human species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that it was not my inclination,

so was it not decent to praise any animal of our composition before my master HOUYHNHNM: And besides,

the fact was altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England during some part of her majesty's reign,

she did govern by a chief minister; nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of

Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise

in the account of the academy of projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master

HOUYHNHNM, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or minced or changed them in such a

manner, that I do hardly know my own work. When I formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you

were pleased to answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that people in power were very watchful over

the press, and apt not only to interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an INNUENDO (as I

think you call it). But, pray how could that which I spoke so many years ago, and at about five thousand

leagues distance, in another reign, be applied to any of the YAHOOS, who now are said to govern the herd;

especially at a time when I little thought, or feared, the unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the

most reason to complain, when I see these very YAHOOS carried by HOUYHNHNMS in a vehicle, as if

they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And indeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and to the trust I reposed in you.

I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment, in being prevailed upon by the entreaties

and false reasoning of you and some others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to be

published. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on the motive of

public good, that the YAHOOS were a species of animals utterly incapable of amendment by precept or

example: and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in

this little island, as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I cannot learn that my

book has produced one single effect according to my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter,

when party and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright; pleaders honest and modest, with

some tincture of common sense, and Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books; the young nobility's

education entirely changed; the physicians banished; the female YAHOOS abounding in virtue, honour, truth,

and good sense; courts and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; wit, merit, and learning

rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and

quench their thirst with their own ink. These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon by

your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly deducible from the precepts delivered in my book. And it

must be owned, that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and folly to which YAHOOS

are subject, if their natures had been capable of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you

been from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the contrary you are loading our carrier

every week with libels, and keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I see myself

accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degrading human nature (for so they have still the confidence to

style it), and of abusing the female sex. I find likewise that the writers of those bundles are not agreed among

themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be the author of my own travels; and others make me

I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my

several voyages and returns; neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the month: and I

hear the original manuscript is all destroyed since the publication of my book; neither have I any copy left:

however, I have sent you some corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should be a second edition:

and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall leave that matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjust it as

I hear some of our sea YAHOOS find fault with my sealanguage, as not proper in many parts, nor now in

use. I cannot help it. In my first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners, and

learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the sea YAHOOS are apt, like the land ones, to

become newfangled in their words, which the latter change every year; insomuch, as I remember upon each

return to my own country their old dialect was so altered, that I could hardly understand the new. And I

observe, when any YAHOO comes from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us are

If the censure of the YAHOOS could any way affect me, I should have great reason to complain, that some of

them are so bold as to think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so far as

to drop hints, that the HOUYHNHNMS and YAHOOS have no more existence than the inhabitants of

Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of LILLIPUT, BROBDINGRAG (for so the word should have

been spelt, and not erroneously BROBDINGNAG), and LAPUTA, I have never yet heard of any YAHOO so

presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have related concerning them; because the truth

immediately strikes every reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of the

HOUYHNHNMS or YAHOOS, when it is manifest as to the latter, there are so many thousands even in this

country, who only differ from their brother brutes in HOUYHNHNMLAND, because they use a sort of

jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not their approbation. The united praise of the

whole race would be of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate HOUYHNHNMS

I keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues without any

Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so degenerated as to defend my veracity? YAHOO as

I am, it is well known through all HOUYHNHNMLAND, that, by the instructions and example of my

illustrious master, I was able in the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost difficulty) to

remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls

I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but I forbear troubling myself or you any

further. I must freely confess, that since my last return, some corruptions of my YAHOO nature have revived

in me by conversing with a few of your species, and particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable

necessity; else I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of reforming the YAHOO race in this

[The author gives some account of himself and family. His first inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked,

and swims for his life. Gets safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and carried up the

My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College

in Cambridge at fourteen years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my studies; but

the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I

was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued four years.

My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning navigation, and other

parts of the mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some time or

other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to my father: where, by the assistance of him and

my uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty pounds a year to

maintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the

Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannel, commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making a

voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London; to

which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took part

of a small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton,

second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton, hosier, in Newgatestreet, with whom I received four hundred

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few friends, my business began to fail; for

my conscience would not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having

therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea. I was

surgeon successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, by

which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient and

modern, being always provided with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the

manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language; wherein I had a great facility, by

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the sea, and intended to stay at home

with my wife and family. I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping, hoping

to get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to account. After three years expectation that things

would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who

was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage was at first

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with the particulars of our adventures in those

seas; let it suffice to inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were driven by a

violent storm to the northwest of Van Diemen's Land. By an observation, we found ourselves in the latitude

of 30 degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food; the rest

were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which was the beginning of summer in those parts,

the weather being very hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable's length of the ship; but the wind

was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was

one, having let down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and the rock. We rowed, by

my computation, about three leagues, till we were able to work no longer, being already spent with labour

while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about half an

hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as

well as of those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all

lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often let

my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found

myself within my depth; and by this time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I

walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured was about eight o'clock in the evening. I

then advanced forward near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least I

was in so weak a condition, that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of

the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left the ship, I found myself much inclined to

sleep. I lay down on the grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remembered

to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I awaked, it was just daylight. I

attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were

strongly fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and thick, tied down in the same

manner. I likewise felt several slender ligatures across my body, from my armpits to my thighs. I could only

look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me;

but in the posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt something alive moving on my

left leg, which advancing gently forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyes

downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and

arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I

conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all ran back in

a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my

sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to get a full

sight of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice,

HEKINAH DEGUL: the others repeated the same words several times, but then I knew not what they meant.

I lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At length, struggling to get loose, I had the

fortune to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground; for, by lifting it

up to my face, I discovered the methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent pull,

which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I

was just able to turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before I could seize

them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased I heard one of them cry

aloud TOLGO PHONAC; when in an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,

which, pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the air, as we do bombs in

Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I

immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a groaning with grief

and pain; and then striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and some of

them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they could

not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to continue so till night, when,

my left hand being already loose, I could easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe

I might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me, if they were all of the same size with

him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged

no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers increased; and about four yards from me,

over against my right ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work; when turning my

head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half

from the ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount it: from

whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not

one syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person began his oration, he cried out

three times, LANGRO DEHUL SAN (these words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to

me); whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the strings that fastened the left

side of my head, which gave me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the person and gesture

He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one was

a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the other two stood

one on each side to support him. He acted every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of

threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered in a few words, but in the most

submissive manner, lifting up my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for a witness; and

being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found

the demands of nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear showing my impatience (perhaps against

the strict rules of decency) by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The

HURGO (for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He descended from

the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of

the inhabitants mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat, which had been

provided and sent thither by the king's orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there

was the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There were shoulders, legs, and

loins, shaped like those of mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by

two or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket bullets.

They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk

and appetite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a small quantity

would not suffice me; and being a most ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their

largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I drank it off at a draught, which I

might well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much more

delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner, and made signs for more;

but they had none to give me. When I had performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced upon

my breast, repeating several times as they did at first, HEKINAH DEGUL. They made me a sign that I

should throw down the two hogsheads, but first warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying

aloud, BORACH MEVOLAH; and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a universal shout of

HEKINAH DEGUL. I confess I was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my

body, to seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the

remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of

honour I made themfor so I interpreted my submissive behavioursoon drove out these imaginations.

Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so

much expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity

of these diminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was

at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some

time, when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person of high

rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of my right leg, advanced

forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his retinue; and producing his credentials under the signet

royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind

of determinate resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was towards the capital city,

about half a mile distant; whither it was agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered

in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was loose, putting it to the other (but

over his excellency's head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and body, to signify

that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his head by way of

disapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner. However, he made

other signs to let me understand that I should have meat and drink enough, and very good treatment.

Whereupon I once more thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the smart of their

arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and

observing likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let them know that they might

do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the HURGO and his train withdrew, with much civility and

cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent repetitions of the words PEPLOM

SELAN; and I felt great numbers of people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able

to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water; which I very plentifully did, to the great

astonishment of the people; who, conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to

the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with such noise and violence from me. But

before this, they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the smell,

which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added to the

refreshment I had received by their victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I

slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for the physicians, by the

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the ground, after my landing, the emperor

had early notice of it by an express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner I have

related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am confident would not be imitated by

any prince in Europe on the like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as

generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with their spears and arrows, while I was

asleep, I should certainly have awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused my rage

and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith I was tied; after which, as they were not

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great perfection in mechanics, by the

countenance and encouragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has

several machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his largest

men of war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried on

these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred carpenters and engineers were immediately

set at work to prepare the greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inches from the

ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon twentytwo wheels. The shout I heard was upon

the arrival of this engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was brought parallel to

me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one

foot high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened by

hooks to many bandages, which the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs.

Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by many pulleys fastened on the

poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I

was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous

medicine infused into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor's largest horses, each about four inches and

a half high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very ridiculous accident; for the carriage being

stopped a while, to adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had the curiosity

to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very softly to my

face, one of them, an officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his halfpike a good way up into my left

nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off

unperceived, and it was three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a long

march the remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with five hundred guards on each side of me, half

with torches, and half with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning at

sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The

emperor, and all his court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his majesty to

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole

kingdom; which, having been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to the zeal

of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had been applied to common use, and all the

ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting

to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On each

side of the gate was a small window, not above six inches from the ground: into that on the left side, the

king's smith conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like those that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and

almost as large, which were locked to my left leg with sixandthirty padlocks. Over against this temple, on

the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the

emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was

told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the

town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten thousand at

several times, who mounted my body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to forbid it

upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the strings

that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise

and astonishment of the people, at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my

left leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a

semicircle, but, being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full length in

[The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to see the author in his confinement. The

emperor's person and habit described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. He gains

favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols taken from him.]

When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess I never beheld a more entertaining

prospect. The country around appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally

forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were intermingled with woods of half a

stang, (1) and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of nature; which was no wonder, it being

almost two days since I had last disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and

shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting

the gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that uneasy

load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the

candid reader will give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered my case, and the

distress I was in. From this time my constant practice was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open

air, at the full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before company came, that the

offensive matter should be carried off in wheelbarrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would

not have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear not very momentous, if I

had not thought it necessary to justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told,

some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other occasions, to call in question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having occasion for fresh air. The emperor

was already descended from the tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have

cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if

a mountain moved before him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent horseman,

kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he

alighted, he surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain. He ordered

his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward

in a sort of vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and soon emptied them all;

twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good

mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle,

drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of both

sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the

emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to describe. He is taller by

almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the

His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive, his

countenance erect, his body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment

majestic. He was then past his prime, being twentyeight years and three quarters old, of which he had

reigned about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of beholding him, I

lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him

since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain

and simple, and the fashion of it between the Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet

of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in his hand to defend

himself, if I should happen to break loose; it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold

enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when

I stood up. The ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they stood upon seemed

to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial

majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand a syllable. There were

several of his priests and lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address

themselves to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of, which were

High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about

two hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the impertinence, and probably the

malice of the rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them had

the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very

narrowly missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought no

punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some of his soldiers accordingly did,

pushing them forward with the buttends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put

five of them into my coatpocket; and as to the sixth, I made a countenance as if I would eat him alive. The

poor man squalled terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they saw me

take out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings

he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner,

taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and people were highly delighted

at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much to my advantage at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on the ground, and continued to do so

about a fortnight; during which time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred

beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of

their beds, sewn together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double: which, however, kept

me but very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation,

they provided me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and

curious people to see me; so that the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and household

affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not provided, by several proclamations and orders of

state, against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should return home, and

not presume to come within fifty yards of my house, without license from the court; whereby the secretaries

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what course should be taken with me; and I

was afterwards assured by a particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the secret as any,

that the court was under many difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet

would be very expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me; or at least to

shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they

considered, that the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably

spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consultations, several officers of the army went to

the door of the great councilchamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my behaviour to

the six criminals abovementioned; which made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and

the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine

hundred yards round the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals for my

sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors; for the due

payment of which, his majesty gave assignments upon his treasury:for this prince lives chiefly upon his

own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound

to attend him in his wars at their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons to be

my domestics, who had boardwages allowed for their maintenance, and tents built for them very

conveniently on each side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should make me a

suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six of his majesty's greatest scholars should be employed

to instruct me in their language; and lastly, that the emperor's horses, and those of the nobility and troops of

guards, should be frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly

put in execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning their language; during which

time the emperor frequently honoured me with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching

me. We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words I learnt, were to express my

desire "that he would please give me my liberty;" which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I

could comprehend it, was, "that this must be a work of time, not to be thought on without the advice of his

council, and that first I must LUMOS KELMIN PESSO DESMAR LON EMPOSO;" that is, swear a peace

with him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he advised me to "acquire,

by my patience and discreet behaviour, the good opinion of himself and his subjects." He desired "I would

not take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me; for probably I might carry about me

several weapons, which must needs be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a

person." I said, "His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets

before him." This I delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, "that, by the laws of the kingdom, I

must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this could not be done without my consent and

assistance; and he had so good an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands;

that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I left the country, or paid for at the rate which I

would set upon them." I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my coatpockets, and then

into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should

be searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no consequence to any but myself. In one of

my fobs there was a silver watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen,

having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had

done, desired I would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This inventory I afterwards

"IMPRIMIS, In the right coatpocket of the great manmountain" (for so I interpret the words QUINBUS

FLESTRIN,) "after the strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarsecloth, large enough to be a

footcloth for your majesty's chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover

of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of

us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces

set us both a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoatpocket we found a prodigious bundle

of white thin substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable,

and marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as

the palm of our hands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty

long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty's court: wherewith we conjecture the

manmountain combs his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions, because we found it a

great difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover" (so I

translate the word RANFULO, by which they meant my breeches,) "we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the

length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar,

were huge pieces of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In the left

pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat

pieces of white and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were so large

and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly

shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One

of them was covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white

round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate

of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous

engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own country his practice was to shave his

beard with one of these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not enter:

these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by

the pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful kind of engine at the

bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe,

half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures

circularly drawn, and though we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the lucid substance.

He put this engine into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a watermill: and we conjecture

it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion,

because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom

did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of

his life. From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and

shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal,

"Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands, diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a

girdle about his waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a sword

of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding

three of your majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous

metal, about the bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap

of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms of

"This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the manmountain, who used us with great

civility, and due respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me, although in very gentle terms, to deliver

up the several particulars. He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In the mean time

he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with

their bows and arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes were wholly fixed upon

his majesty. He then desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water,

was, in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between terror and

surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in

my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered

me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of

my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket

pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and charging it only

with powder, which, by the closeness of my pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience

against which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid,

and then I let it off in the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my scimitar.

Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground,

could not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I had done my

scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept from fire, for

it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up

my watch, which the emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the

guards to bear it on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was amazed at

the continual noise it made, and the motion of the minutehand, which he could easily discern; for their sight

is much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about it, which were various and

remote, as the reader may well imagine without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly

understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and

some smaller ones; my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuffbox, my handkerchief and journalbook.

My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his majesty's stores; but the rest of my goods

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their search, wherein there was a pair of

spectacles (which I sometimes use for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other little

conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I did not think myself bound in honour to

discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.

[The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a very uncommon manner. The diversions

of the court of Lilliput described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions.]

My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and his court, and indeed upon the army

and people in general, that I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all possible

methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any

danger from me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand; and at last the

boys and girls would venture to come and play at hideandseek in my hair. I had now made a good progress

in understanding and speaking the language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with several of

the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was

diverted with none so much as that of the ropedancers, performed upon a slender white thread, extended

about two feet, and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader's

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates for great employments, and high favour

at court. They are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberal education.

When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those

candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever

jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are

commanded to show their skill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the

treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole

empire. I have seen him do the summerset several times together, upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no

thicker than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs,

is, in my opinion, if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great numbers are on record. I myself have

seen two or three candidates break a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselves are

commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so

far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three. I was assured

that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king's

cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the emperor and empress, and first minister,

upon particular occasions. The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long; one is

blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the

emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed in his

majesty's great chamber of state, where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity very different from

the former, and such as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of the new or old

world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candidates

advancing, one by one, sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and forward,

several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the

stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his

part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the bluecoloured

silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round about the

middle; and you see few great persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been daily led before me, were no longer shy,

but would come up to my very feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I held it on

the ground; and one of the emperor's huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was

indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extraordinary

manner. I desired he would order several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be

brought me; whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give directions accordingly; and

the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of

these sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I took

four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my

handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a

drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on

each side. When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses twentyfour in

number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by

one, in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them. As soon as they got

into order they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their

swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best military discipline I ever

beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so

much delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several days, and once was pleased to be

lifted up and give the word of command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let

me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she was able to take a full view of the

whole performance. It was my good fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments; only once

a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief,

and his foot slipping, he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and covering

the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse

that fell was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I repaired my handkerchief as well as I

could: however, I would not trust to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there

arrived an express to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place where I was first

taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on the around, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round,

as wide as his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man; that it was no living

creature, as they at first apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked

round it several times; that, by mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to the top, which was flat

and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be

something belonging to the manmountain; and if his majesty pleased, they would undertake to bring it with

only five horses. I presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this intelligence. It

seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to

the place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was rowing,

and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture,

breaking by some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated his

imperial majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and

the nature of it: and the next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; they had

bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these

hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above half an English

mile; but, the ground in that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage than I

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of his army which quarters in and about

his metropolis, to be in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired I

would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his

general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops in close order,

and march them under me; the foot by twentyfour abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating,

colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His

majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his march should observe the strictest decency

with regard to my person; which however could not prevent some of the younger officers from turning up

their eyes as they passed under me: and, to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his majesty at length mentioned the matter,

first in the cabinet, and then in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who

was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole

board, and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was GALBET, or admiral of the realm, very much in his

master's confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he

was at length persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I should be set

free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. These articles were brought to me by

Skyresh Bolgolam in person attended by two undersecretaries, and several persons of distinction. After they

were read, I was demanded to swear to the performance of them; first in the manner of my own country, and

afterwards in the method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my left hand, and to

place the middle finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear.

But because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style and manner of expression peculiar to

that people, as well as to know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of the

whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the public.

"Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight and

terror of the universe, whose dominions extend five thousand BLUSTRUGS (about twelve miles in

circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose

feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth

shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter:

his most sublime majesty proposes to the manmountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the

"1st, The manmountain shall not depart from our dominions, without our license under our great seal.

"2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our express order; at which time, the

"3d, The said manmountain shall confine his walks to our principal high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie

"4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to trample upon the bodies of any of our

loving subjects, their horses, or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their own

"5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the manmountain shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket,

the messenger and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back (if so

"6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their

"7th, That the said manmountain shall, at his times of leisure, be aiding and assisting to our workmen, in

helping to raise certain great stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our royal

"8th, That the said manmountain shall, in two moons' time, deliver in an exact survey of the circumference

"Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles, the said manmountain shall have a

daily allowance of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access to our

royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and content, although some of them were not

so honourable as I could have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the

highadmiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor

himself, in person, did me the honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by

prostrating myself at his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after many gracious expressions,

which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall not repeat, he added, "that he hoped I should prove a useful

servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon me, or might do for the future."

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates

to allow me a quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Some time after,

asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his majesty's

mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs

in the proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain

at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as was necessary to support that number

of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the

[Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the emperor's palace. A conversation between

the author and a principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author's offers to serve the

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that I might have license to see Mildendo, the

metropolis; which the emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to the

inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall

which encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses

may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped over the

great western gate, and passed very gently, and sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my short

waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the

utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might remain in the streets, although the

orders were very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret windows and

tops of houses were so crowded with spectators, that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more

populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being five hundred feet long. The two great

streets, which run across and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and alleys, which I

could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of

holding five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the shops and markets well

The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of

two feet high, and twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's permission to step over this

wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side. The

outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the royal apartments,

which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into

another, were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were at

least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile,

though the walls were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the same time the emperor had a

great desire that I should see the magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three days after,

which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards

distant from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three feet high, and strong enough to bear

my weight. The people having received notice a second time, I went again through the city to the palace with

my two stools in my hands. When I came to the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the

other in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on the space between the first and second

court, which was eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently from one stool to the other,

and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying

down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left open on purpose,

and discovered the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the empress and the young

princes, in their several lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was pleased to

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this kind, because I reserve them for a greater

work, which is now almost ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire, from its first

erection, through along series of princes; with a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning,

and religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious

and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such events and transactions as happened to the

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style

him) for private affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to wait at a

distance, and desired I would give him an hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his

quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good offices he had done me during my solicitations at

court. I offered to lie down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me

hold him in my hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty; said "he might

pretend to some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it had not been for the present situation of things at

court, perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For," said he, "as flourishing a condition as we may

appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of

an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for about

seventy moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of

TRAMECKSAN and SLAMECKSAN, from the high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish

themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution; but,

however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only of low heels in the administration of the

government, and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that his

majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a DRURR than any of his court (DRURR is a measure about the

fourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat,

nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the TRAMECKSAN, or high heels, to exceed us in number;

but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some

tendency towards the high heels; at least we can plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other,

which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an

invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and

powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and

states in the world inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and

would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a

hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's

dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two

great empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you, been

engaged in a most obstinate war for sixandthirty moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is

allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger end;

but his present majesty's grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to

the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict,

commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs. The people so

highly resented this law, that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account;

wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented

by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It

is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break

their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but

the books of the Bigendians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of

holding employments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did frequently

expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion, by offending against a

fundamental doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fiftyfourth chapter of the Blundecral (which is

their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all

And which is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man's conscience, or at

least in the power of the chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Bigendian exiles have found so much

credit in the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assistance and encouragement from their party

here at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two empires for sixandthirty moons, with

various success; during which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much a greater number of smaller

vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy

is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are

just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence in your valour

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and to let him know, "that I thought it

would not become me, who was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my

[The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A high title of honour is conferred upon

him. Ambassadors arrive from the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress's apartment on fire

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the northeast of Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a

channel of eight hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended invasion, I

avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships, who

had received no intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having been strictly forbidden

during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I

communicated to his majesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy's whole fleet; which, as our scouts

assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced

seamen upon the depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me, that in the middle, at

highwater, it was seventy GLUMGLUFFS deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest

of it fifty GLUMGLUFFS at most. I walked towards the northeast coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying

down behind a hillock, I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's fleet at anchor,

consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of transports: I then came back to my house, and

gave orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable

was about as thick as packthread and the bars of the length and size of a knittingneedle. I trebled the cable to

make it stronger, and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into

a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back to the northeast coast, and putting off

my coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an hour before high

water. I waded with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I arrived

at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of

their ships, and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand souls. I then took my

tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I

was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and

face, and, beside the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My greatest apprehension was

for mine eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept,

among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had

escaped the emperor's searchers. These I took out and fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus

armed, went on boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck against the

glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further than a little to discompose them. I had now

fastened all the hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would stir, for they were

all too fast held by their anchors, so that the boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go the

cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the

anchors, receiving about two hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the

cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men of war after

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended, were at first confounded with

astonishment. They had seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift or

fall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the

end, they set up such a scream of grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I

had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on

some of the same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off

my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issue of this great adventure. They saw the

ships move forward in a large halfmoon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water. When

I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck.

The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet was approaching in a hostile manner:

but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short

time within hearing, and holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loud

voice, "Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!" This great prince received me at my landing with all

possible encomiums, and created me a NARDAC upon the spot, which is the highest title of honour among

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all the rest of his enemy's ships into his

ports. And so unmeasureable is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing

the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Bigendian

exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole

monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by many arguments drawn

from the topics of policy as well as justice; and I plainly protested, "that I would never be an instrument of

bringing a free and brave people into slavery." And, when the matter was debated in council, the wisest part

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and politics of his imperial majesty, that

he could never forgive me. He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that some of

the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of my opinion; but others, who were my secret enemies,

could not forbear some expressions which, by a sidewind, reflected on me. And from this time began an

intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less

than two months, and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight are the greatest

services to princes, when put into the balance with a refusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a

peace, which was soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not

trouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred persons, and their entry

was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business. When

their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit I now had, or at least appeared

to have, at court, their excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made me a

visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my valour and generosity, invited me to that

kingdom in the emperor their master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious

strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired

they would do me the honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master, the renown of

whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to

attend, before I returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see our emperor,

I desired his general license to wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I

could perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper from a certain

person, "that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of

disaffection;" from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to conceive

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an interpreter, the languages of both empires

differing as much from each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity,

beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our

emperor, standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to deliver their

credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great

intercourse of trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is

mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their young nobility and richer gentry to

the other, in order to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners; there are

few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold

conversation in both tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperor of

Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which I recovered my liberty, there were

some which I disliked, upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme

necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a NARDAC of the highest rank in that empire, such

offices were looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice), never once mentioned

them to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then

thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door;

by which, being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the word BURGLUM repeated

incessantly: several of the emperor's court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come

immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid

of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and orders being given to

clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the palace without

trampling on any of the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and

were well provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These buckets were about the size of

large thimbles, and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so violent

that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for

haste, and came away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable; and this

magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to

me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the evening before, drunk plentifully of a most

delicious wine called GLIMIGRIM, (the Blefuscudians call it FLUNEC, but ours is esteemed the better sort,)

which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The

heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench them, made the wine begin

to operate by urine; which I voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three

minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in

It was now daylight, and I returned to my house without waiting to congratulate with the emperor: because,

although I had done a very eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might resent the

manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of

what quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little comforted by a

message from his majesty, "that he would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:"

which, however, I could not obtain; and I was privately assured, "that the empress, conceiving the greatest

abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the most distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those

buildings should never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chief confidents could not forbear

[Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the manner of educating their children. The

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am

content to gratify the curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size of the natives is somewhat

under six inches high, so there is an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for

instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches in height, the sheep an inch and half,

more or less: their geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till you

come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the

Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great distance. And, to

show the sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a

cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle

with invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal park,

the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are in the same

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many ages, has flourished in all its branches among

them: but their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the Europeans,

nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians, nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they hold an opinion, that in eleven

thousand moons they are all to rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn

upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The

learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in compliance to

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if they were not so directly contrary to

those of my own dear country, I should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be wished

they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are

punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon

his trial, the accuser is immediately put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent

person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his

imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be deficient, it is

largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of his favour, and

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death; for they

allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's goods from thieves,

but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and, since it is necessary that there should be a

perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted and connived

at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I

remember, when I was once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a

great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by

way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer as a

defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common

answer, that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed. (2)

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all government turns, yet I could

never observe this maxim to be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring

sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of his country for seventythree moons, has a claim to

certain privileges, according to his quality or condition of life, with a proportionable sum of money out of a

fund appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of SNILPALL, or legal, which is added to his

name, but does not descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among

us, when I told them that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon

this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as

many behind, and on each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and

a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals than to great abilities; for,

since government is necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is

fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to make the management of public affairs

a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three born

in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, to be in every man's power; the practice of

which virtues, assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service of his

country, except where a course of study is required. But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far

from being supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put into such

dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a

virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man,

whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man incapable of holding any public station;

for, since kings avow themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more

absurd than for a prince to employ such men as disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to mean the original institutions, and not

the most scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For, as

to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and

distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader is to observe, that they were first

introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries: for they reason

thus; that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind,

from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely from ours. For, since the

conjunction of male and female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continue

the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are joined together, like other animals, by

the motives of concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like natural

principle: for which reason they will never allow that a child is under any obligation to his father for

begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering the miseries of human

life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters,

were otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last of all

others to be trusted with the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every town public

nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to

be reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time they are supposed to have

some rudiments of docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes.

They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits the rank

of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with grave and learned professors, and their

several deputies. The clothes and food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the principles

of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always employed

in some business, except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for

diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged

to dress themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who are aged

proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse

with servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and always in the

presence of a professor, or one of his deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and

Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are allowed to

kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not

suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a child, upon failure of due payment, is

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and handicrafts, are managed

proportionably after the same manner; only those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years

old, whereas those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to twentyone

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much like the males, only they are dressed by

orderly servants of their own sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they come to dress

themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls

with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids among us, they are

publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part

of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and

despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference in their

education made by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were not altogether so

robust; and that some rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was

enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and

agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve years old, which

among them is the marriageable age, their parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of

gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady and her companions.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are instructed in all kinds of works proper for their

sex, and their several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven years old, the rest are

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged, besides their annual pension, which is

as low as possible, to return to the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to be a

portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians

think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bring children

into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give

security to appropriate a certain sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these funds are always

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being only to till and cultivate the

but the old and diseased among them, are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown in this

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some account of my domestics, and my manner of

living in this country, during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head mechanically

turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a table and chair convenient enough,

out of the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make me shirts, and

linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were

forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is

usually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the

ground, one standing at my neck, and another at my midleg, with a strong cord extended, that each held by

the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my

right thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that twice round the thumb is once

round the wrist, and so on to the neck and the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the

ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the same

manner to make me clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down, and

they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a

plumbline from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and arms I

measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the largest of theirs

would not have been able to hold them), they looked like the patchwork made by the ladies in England, only

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient huts built about my house, where they and

their families lived, and prepared me two dishes apiece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placed

them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with

barrels of wine and other liquors slung on their shoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted,

in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat

was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their

beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it; but this is rare.

My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their

geese and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller fowl I could

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired "that himself and his royal

consort, with the young princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness," as he was pleased to

call it, "of dining with me." They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state, upon my table, just

over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with

his white staff; and I observed he often looked on me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to

regard, but ate more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with admiration. I

have some private reasons to believe, that this visit from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing

me ill offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret enemy, though he outwardly caressed

me more than was usual to the moroseness of his nature. He represented to the emperor "the low condition of

his treasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; that exchequer bills would not circulate

under nine per cent. below par; that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of SPRUGS" (their

greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) "and, upon the whole, that it would be advisable in the

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who was an innocent sufferer upon my

account. The treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who

informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my person; and the court scandal ran for some

time, that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous falsehood,

without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom

and friendship. I own she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in the

coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and some particular acquaintance; but this was

common to many other ladies of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at any time

saw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in it. On those occasions, when a servant had

given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the

coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were six horses, the postillion always

unharnessed four,) and place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five inches

high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four coaches and horses at once on my table, full of

company, while I sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one set, the

coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in

these conversations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let them make the

best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me INCOGNITO, except the secretary

Reldresal, who was sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related. I should not

have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so

nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the honour to be a NARDAC, which the

treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is only a GLUMGLUM, a title inferior by one

degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. These

false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to mention, made

the treasurer show his lady for some time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at last

undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and found my interest decline very fast with

[The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of hightreason, makes his escape to Blefuscu. His

Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may be proper to inform the reader of a

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was unqualified by the meanness of my

condition. I had indeed heard and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but never

expected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of Blefuscu, a considerable person at court

(to whom I had been very serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his imperial

majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a close chair, and, without sending his name, desired

admittance. The chairmen were dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my coatpocket: and,

giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I was indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house,

placed the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the common salutations

were over, observing his lordship's countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired "I

would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my honour and my life." His speech was to

"You are to know," said he, "that several committees of council have been lately called, in the most private

manner, on your account; and it is but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.

"You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam" (GALBET, or highadmiral) "has been your mortal enemy,

almost ever since your arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased since your great

success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with

Flimnap the hightreasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of his lady, Limtoc the

general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and innocence, that I was going to

"Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured information of the whole proceedings, and a

"'Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that,

whoever shall make water within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and penalties of

hightreason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of

extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty's most dear imperial consort, did maliciously,

traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying

and being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc. against

"'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being

afterwards commanded by his imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of Blefuscu, and

reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not

only all the Bigendian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would not immediately forsake

the Bigendian heresy, he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial

majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to force the

"'That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's

court, he, the said Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the said ambassadors,

although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and

"'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful subject, is now preparing to make a voyage

to the court and empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his imperial majesty;

and, under colour of the said license, does falsely and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby

to aid, comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in open war with his imperial

"There are some other articles; but these are the most important, of which I have read you an abstract.

"In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed that his majesty gave many marks of his

great lenity; often urging the services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes. The

treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most painful and ignominious death, by setting

fire to your house at night, and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with poisoned

arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your servants were to have private orders to strew a

poisonous juice on your shirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the

utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so that for a long time there was a majority against

you; but his majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the chamberlain.

"Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, who always approved himself your true

friend, was commanded by the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein justified

the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your crimes to be great, but that still there was room for

mercy, the most commendable virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He said,

the friendship between you and him was so well known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable board

might think him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would freely offer his

sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of your services, and pursuant to his own merciful

disposition, would please to spare your life, and only give orders to put out both your eyes, he humbly

conceived, that by this expedient justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would applaud

the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his

counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength, by which you might

still be useful to his majesty; that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the

fear you had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it would be

sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.

"This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral,

could not preserve his temper, but, rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to

give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the services you had performed were, by all true

reasons of state, the great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the fire by

discharge of urine in her majesty's apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise

an inundation by the same means, to drown the whole palace; and the same strength which enabled you to

bring over the enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to carry it back; that he had good reasons

to think you were a Bigendian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart, before it appears in

overtacts, so he accused you as a traitor on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.

"The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the

charge of maintaining you, which would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary's expedient of putting

out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this evil, that it would probably increase it, as is

manifest from the common practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed the faster, and grew

sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully

convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal proofs

"But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that

since the council thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted hereafter.

And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the treasurer had

objected, concerning the great charge his majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his excellency, who

had the sole disposal of the emperor's revenue, might easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening

your establishment; by which, for want of sufficient for you would grow weak and faint, and lose your

appetite, and consequently, decay, and consume in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be

then so dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and immediately upon your death five

or six thousand of his majesty's subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your bones, take it

away by cartloads, and bury it in distant parts, to prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of

"Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair was compromised. It was strictly enjoined,

that the project of starving you by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out your eyes

was entered on the books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam the admiral, who, being a creature of the

empress, was perpetually instigated by her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne perpetual

malice against you, on account of that infamous and illegal method you took to extinguish the fire in her

"In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to your house, and read before you the

articles of impeachment; and then to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council, whereby

you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his majesty does not question you will gratefully and

humbly submit to; and twenty of his majesty's surgeons will attend, in order to see the operation well

performed, by discharging very sharppointed arrows into the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.

"I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid suspicion, I must immediately return in

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and perplexities of mind.

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very different, as I have been assured, from the

practice of former times,) that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify the monarch's

resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperor always made a speech to his whole council, expressing

his great lenity and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world. This speech was

immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did any thing terrify the people so much as those

encomiums on his majesty's mercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises were enlarged and

insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must

confess, having never been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so ill a judge of

things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously)

rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial, for, although I could not deny the

facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life

perused many statetrials, which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit to direct, I durst not

rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I was

strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue

me, and I might easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that project with horror,

by remembering the oath I had made to the emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of

NARDAC he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself,

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I

confess I owe the preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great rashness and want

of experience; because, if I had then known the nature of princes and ministers, which I have since observed

in many other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should, with great

alacrity and readiness, have submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy of youth,

and having his imperial majesty's license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this

opportunity, before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the secretary, signifying my

resolution of setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for

an answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man of war, tied a cable to the

prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I

carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, between wading and swimming arrived at the

royal port of Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to direct me to the

capital city, which is of the same name. I held them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the

gate, and desired them "to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let him know, I there waited his

majesty's command." I had an answer in about an hour, "that his majesty, attended by the royal family, and

great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me." I advanced a hundred yards. The emperor and his

train alighted from their horses, the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they were in

any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty's and the empress's hands. I told his majesty,

"that I was come according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to have the honour

of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own

prince;" not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular information of it, and might

suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor

would discover the secret, while I was out of his power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my reception at this court, which was suitable to

the generosity of so great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed, being forced to

[The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after some difficulties, returns safe to

Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the northeast coast of the island, I observed, about

half a league off in the sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and stockings,

and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then

plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven from a ship.

Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the city, and desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of

the tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under the command of his

viceadmiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered

the boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided with cordage, which I had

beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I came

within a hundred yards off the boat, after which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me

the end of the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the forepart of the boat, and the other end to a man of war;

but I found all my labour to little purpose; for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity

I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as I could, with one of my hands; and the

tide favouring me, I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or

three minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than my armpits;

and now, the most laborious part being over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the

ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels which attended me; the wind being

favourable, the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and, waiting till

the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by the help of certain paddles, which cost me

ten days making, to get my boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people appeared

upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor "that my good

fortune had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my native

country; and begged his majesty's orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to depart;"

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any express relating to me from our emperor to

the court of Blefuscu. But I was afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty, never

imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my

promise, according to the license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would return in a

few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long absence; and after consulting

with the treasurer and the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy of the articles

against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, "the great lenity of his

master, who was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of mine eyes; that I had fled from justice;

and if I did not return in two hours, I should be deprived of my title of NARDAC, and declared a traitor." The

envoy further added, "that in order to maintain the peace and amity between both empires, his master

expected that his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned an answer consisting of many civilities

and excuses. He said, "that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that, although I had

deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me for many good offices I had done him in

making the peace. That, however, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious

vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance

and direction; and he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportable an

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch of Blefuscu related to me all that had

passed; offering me at the same time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I would

continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any

confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due

acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, "that since

fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the ocean,

rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs." Neither did I find the emperor

at all displeased; and I discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and so were

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner than I intended; to which the court,

impatient to have me gone, very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two

sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen together. I was

at the pains of making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of

theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, by the seashore, served me for an anchor. I

had the tallow of three hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at incredible pains in

cutting down some of the largest timbertrees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by

his majesty's shipcarpenters, who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the rough work.

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The

emperor and royal family came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which he very

graciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with fifty

purses of two hundred SPRUGS apiece, together with his picture at full length, which I put immediately

into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three hundred sheep, with bread and drink

proportionable, and as much meat ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six

cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into my own country, and

propagate the breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would

gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means permit; and,

besides a diligent search into my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour "not to carry away any of his

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on the twentyfourth day of September 1701,

at six in the morning; and when I had gone about fourleagues to the northward, the wind being at

southeast, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half a league to the northwest. I advanced

forward, and cast anchor on the leeside of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some

refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day

broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun was up; and heaving

anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was

directed by my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands. which I had

reason to believe lay to the northeast of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the

next, about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made twentyfour leagues from Blefuscu, I

descried a sail steering to the southeast; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer; yet I

found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me,

then hung out her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I was in, upon the

unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship

slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening, September 26th; but my heart

leaped within me to see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coatpockets, and got on board

with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English merchantman, returning from Japan by the

North and South seas; the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and an excellent sailor.

We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about fifty men in the ship; and here I met an old

comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman treated

me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound;

which I did in a few words, but he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had disturbed my

head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly

convinced him of my veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu, together

with his majesty's picture at full length, and some other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two

hundreds SPRUGS each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a present of a cow and a

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this voyage, which was very prosperous for the most

part. We arrived in the Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats on board

carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I

got safe ashore, and set them agrazing in a bowlinggreen at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass

neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of

his best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was their constant food. The short time I

continued in England, I made a considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and

others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find

the breed is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the advantage of

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable desire of seeing foreign countries, would

suffer me to continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good house at

Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my

fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year; and I

had a long lease of the Black Bull in FetterLane, which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any

danger of leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at the

grammarschool, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty (who is now well married, and has children) was

then at her needlework. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears on both sides, and went on

board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of

Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the Second Part of my Travels.

[A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the author goes with it to discover the country. He

is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His reception, with several

Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restless life, in two months after my return, I

again left my native country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the

Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous

gale, till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we

unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape

till the end of March. We then set sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar; but

having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees south latitude, the winds, which in those seas

are observed to blow a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of December to

the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater violence, and more westerly than

usual, continuing so for twenty days together: during which time, we were driven a little to the east of the

Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, as our captain found by an observation he

took the 2nd of May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat I was not a little

rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a

storm, which accordingly happened the day following: for the southern wind, called the southern monsoon,

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our spritsail, and stood by to hand the foresail; but making

foul weather, we looked the guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we

thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We reefed the foresail and set him, and

hauled aft the foresheet; the helm was hard aweather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore

downhaul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and unbound

all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon

the laniard of the whipstaff, and helped the man at the helm. We would not get down our topmast, but let all

stand, because she scudded before the sea very well, and we knew that the topmast being aloft, the ship was

the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea, seeing we had searoom. When the storm was over,

we set foresail and mainsail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen, maintopsail, and the

foretopsail. Our course was eastnortheast, the wind was at southwest. We got the starboard tacks

aboard, we cast off our weatherbraces and lifts; we set in the leebraces, and hauled forward by the

weatherbowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to windward,

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind westsouthwest, we were carried, by my

computation, about five hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what

part of the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good

health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than

turn more northerly, which might have brought us to the northwest part of Great Tartary, and into the

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the topmast discovered land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a

great island, or continent (for we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a small neck of land

jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor

within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the longboat, with

vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and

make what discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of inhabitants.

Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about

a mile on the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and

seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in

my view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was going to halloo after

them, although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in the sea, as

fast as he could: he waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious strides: but our men had the

start of him half a league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharppointed rocks, the monster was not

able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but

ran as fast as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave me some prospect of

the country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which, in

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the inhabitants only as a footpath through a

field of barley. Here I walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being now near harvest,

and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with

a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make no computation

of their altitude. There was a stile to pass from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone to cross

over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step was

sixfeet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I

discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him

whom I saw in the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took about ten

yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to

hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking back into the next field on the right

hand, and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder than a speakingtrumpet: but the noise was so high

in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came

towards him with reapinghooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six scythes. These people

were not so well clad as the first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he

spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could,

but was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a foot

distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to go forward, till I

came to a part of the field where the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for me

to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not creep through, and the beards of the

fallen ears so strong and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I heard

the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and

dispair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my days. I bemoaned my

desolate widow and fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second

voyage, against the advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I could not

forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in

the world; where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other actions, which will

be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although

attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this

nation, as one single Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least of my

misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk,

what could I expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous barbarians that should

happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little

otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputians find some nation,

where the people were as diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but that even

this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the world, whereof we

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these reflections, when one of the reapers,

approaching within ten yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I should be

squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his reapinghook. And therefore, when he was again

about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me: whereupon the huge creature trod short, and,

looking round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile,

with the caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall

not be able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length

he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his forefinger and thumb, and brought me within

three yards of his eyes, that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning, and my good

fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air

above sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I should slip through his

fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating

posture, and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I

apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful

animal, which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that he appeared pleased with my

voice and gestures, and began to look upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce

articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was not able to forbear groaning

and shedding tears, and turning my head towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly

I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the

lappet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who was a

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an account of me as his servant could give him,

took a piece of a small straw, about the size of a walkingstaff, and therewith lifted up the lappets of my coat;

which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to

take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned,

whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the

ground upon all fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let those

people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my

motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted up my

hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and

humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then applied it close to his eye to see what

it was, and afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his sleeve,) but

could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then took

the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles

each, beside twenty or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and take

up one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He made

me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of

his voice pierced my ears like that of a watermill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered as loud

as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were

wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of

his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm

upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I

thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the

remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further security, and in this manner carried me home to

his house. There he called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in

England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how

well I observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for

the plain condition of a husbandman,) in a dish of about fourandtwenty feet diameter. The company were,

the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed

me at some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright,

and kept as far as I could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled

some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell

to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about

two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most

respectful manner drank to her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which

made the company laugh so heartily, that I was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small

cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher side; but as I walked

on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I

happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and

observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of good

manners,) and waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But

advancing forward towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his youngest son, who sat next to him,

an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled

every limb: but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box on the left ear, as

would have felled an European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being

afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all children among us naturally

are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my

master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father complied, and

the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made

In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a

dozen stockingweavers at work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of that animal,

who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws,

while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether

discomposed me; though I stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and although my mistress

held her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there was no

danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three yards of her. And

as I have been always told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying or discovering fear before

a fierce animal, is a certain way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, to

show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and

came within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of me: I had less

apprehension concerning the dogs, whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers' houses;

one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year old in her arms, who immediately

spied me, and began a squall that you might have heard from LondonBridge to Chelsea, after the usual

oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me

towards the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared so

loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother

had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of

hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child's waist: but all in vain; so that she

was forced to apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much as

the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader

an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteen in

circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so

varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sight of

her, she sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made me reflect

upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own

size, and their defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that the

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in

the world; and talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of mine,

he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground, than it did

upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was at first a

very shocking sight. He said, "he could discover great holes in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten

times stronger than the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours altogether

disagreeable:" although I must beg leave to say for myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country,

and very little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in that emperor's court,

he used to tell me, "one had freckles; another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;" nothing of which I

was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear,

lest the reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice to say,

they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance, although he was

but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I could discover by his voice and

gesture, gave his wife strict charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my

mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and children, which aggravated my sorrows

when I awaked, and found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and above

two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household affairs, and

had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down;

I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a

distance from the room where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under these

circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of

them came up almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend myself.

These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of them held his forefeet at my

collar; but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell down at my

feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on the

back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit, I walked

gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a

large mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt before I went to sleep, I

must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be

two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay

still bleeding; I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck, I thoroughly despatched

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I

pointed to the dead rat, smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely

rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then

she set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of my coat,

returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do for me, and

therefore endeavoured to make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor; which after

she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and

bowing several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived what I would be at, and

taking me up again in her hand, walked into the garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about two

hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel,

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the like particulars, which, however

insignificant they may appear to groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his

thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole

design in presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been chiefly studious

of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so

strong an impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to paper I did

not omit one material circumstance: however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages. Of less

moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are

[A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a markettown, and then to the metropolis. The

My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly parts for her age, very dexterous at her

needle, and skilful in dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby's cradle for me

against night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf

for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I staid with those people, though made more convenient by

degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that

after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I

never gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some

other linen, of as fine cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she

constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my schoolmistress, to teach me the

language: when I pointed to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I

was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was very goodnatured, and not above forty feet high,

being little for her age. She gave me the name of GRILDRIG, which the family took up, and afterwards the

whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call NANUNCULUS, the Italians HOMUNCELETINO,

and the English MANNIKIN. To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted while I

was there; I called her my GLUMDALCLITCH, or little nurse; and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I

omitted this honourable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my

power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my master had found a strange animal in

the field, about the bigness of a SPLACNUCK, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature; which

it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already learned

several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do

whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter of

three years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came on a visit

on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a table, where

I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my master's guest,

asked him in his own language how he did, and told him HE WAS WELCOME, just as my little nurse had

instructed me. This man, who was old and dimsighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I

could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon shining into a chamber at

two windows. Our people, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the

old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to

my misfortune, he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a

marketday in the next town, which was half an hour's riding, about twoandtwenty miles from our house. I

guessed there was some mischief when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes

pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood some of their words. But the

next morning Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked out

from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She

apprehended some mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or

break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my nature,

how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a

public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig

should be hers; but now she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretended to give

her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was

less concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I should one day recover my

liberty: and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect

stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I

should return to England, since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box the next marketday to the neighbouring

town, and took along with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was close on

every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so

careful as to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I was terribly shaken and

discomposed in this journey, though it was but of half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every

step and trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but

much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted

at an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with the innkeeper, and making some

necessary preparations, he hired the GRULTRUD, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange

creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a SPLACNUCK (an animal in that country

very finely shaped, about six feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature, could

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might be near three hundred feet square. My

little nurse stood on a low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My master,

to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl

commanded; she asked me questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached, and I

answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to the company, paid my humble respects, said

THEY WERE WELCOME, and used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled with

liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank their health, I drew out my hanger, and

flourished with it after the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which I

exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as

often forced to act over again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and vexation; for those

who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break down the doors to come

in. My master, for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent

danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to put me out of every body's reach. However,

an unlucky schoolboy aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwise it

came with so much violence, that it would have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as

a small pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next marketday; and in the meantime he

prepared a convenient vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first

journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or

speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest at home,

all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my

master's own house. There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for the

country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home,

although it were only to a single family; so that for some time I had but little ease every day of the week

(except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath,) although I were not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry me to the most considerable cities of

the kingdom. Having therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and settled his

affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my

arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situate near the middle of that empire, and about three thousand miles

distance from our house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her

lap, in a box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get, well

quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made

everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of the house, who rode after us

My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to step out of the road for fifty or a

hundred miles, to any village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect custom. We made easy

journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles aday; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me,

complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own desire,

to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me fast by a leadingstring. We passed over five or

six rivers, many degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet so

small as the Thames at Londonbridge. We were ten weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in their language LORBRULGRUD, or Pride

of the Universe. My master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal palace, and

put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a large room

between three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act

my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I

was shown ten times aday, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak the language

tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their

alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my

instructor while we were at home, and at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her

pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a common treatise for the use of young girls, giving a

short account of their religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.

[The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the farmer, and presents him to the king. He

disputes with his majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in high favour

with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.]

The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a very considerable change in my health:

the more my master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost

reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a

hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a SARDRAL, or

gentlemanusher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion

of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of my

beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted

with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious

princess held out her little finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms,

and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general questions about my country

and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, "whether I could

be content to live at court?" I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly answered "that I was my

master's slave: but, if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's

service." She then asked my master, "whether he was willing to sell me at a good price?" He, who

apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of

gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; but

allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among

them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said to the queen, "since I

was now her majesty's most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had

always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted into

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's consent, who was glad enough to have his

daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew,

bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making

The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of the apartment, asked me the reason.

I made bold to tell her majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing out

the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply

recompensed, by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now

sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength.

That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the

day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have got so cheap a

bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being illtreated under the protection of so great and good an empress,

the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I

hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already found my spirits revive,

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation. The latter part was

altogether framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch,

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit

and good sense in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who

was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well

observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold manner "how long it was since she grew fond

of a SPLACNUCK?" for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her majesty's right hand.

But this princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire,

and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very few words: and

Glumdalclitch who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, had been educated in the study of

philosophy, and particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect,

before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clockwork (which is in that country arrived to a

very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found what I

delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied

with the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between

Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this

imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers: no otherwise defective

than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly waiting, according to the custom in

that country. These gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety, were of different

opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature,

because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or

digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a

carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some others, too

nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other

insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of these

virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the

other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and that I had lived several years, as it was

manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would

not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for the queen's

favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they

concluded unanimously, that I was only RELPLUM SCALCATH, which is interpreted literally LUSUS

NATURAE; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors,

disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to

disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I applied myself to the king, and assured

his majesty, "that I came from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own

stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be

as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could do here; which I took

for a full answer to those gentlemen's arguments." To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying,

"that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson." The king, who had a much better understanding,

dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having

therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl, his majesty

began to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular

care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of

tending me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was

provided for her at court: she had a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress

her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The

queen commanded her own cabinetmaker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber, after the

model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according to

my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with

The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished

by her majesty's upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it with her own hands, and

letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities,

undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables,

with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to

prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I

went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after

several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a

gentleman's house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch

might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not

much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the

fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without me. I had a table placed upon the

same at which her majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on

the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other

necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen in a

London toyshop for the furniture of a babyhouse: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,

and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but

the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her

majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and her diversion

was to see me eat in miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one mouthful,

as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous

sight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as

large as that of a fullgrown turkey; and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelvepenny loaves.

She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set

straight upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion. I

remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a

dozen of those enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with

the royal issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become a

great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the

saltcellars. This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws,

government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was

so clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I said. But I

confess, that, after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars

by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the prejudices of his education prevailed

so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other, after a

hearty fit of laughing, asked me, "whether I was a whig or tory?" Then turning to his first minister, who

waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed "how

contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and

yet," says he, "I dare engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little

nests and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they

fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!" And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went

several times, with indignation, to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of

France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was

injured or no. For, after having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this people, and

observed every object upon which I cast mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first

conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English

lords and ladies in their finery and birthday clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of

strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at

them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the

queen used to place me upon her hand towards a lookingglass, by which both our persons appeared before

me in full view together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf; who being of the lowest stature that was

ever in that country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a creature

so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's

antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom

failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against which I could only revenge myself by calling him

brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day,

at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon

the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm,

and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and

ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that

instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted

presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed

above a quart of cream. I was put to bed: however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of

clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a farther punishment, forced to drink

up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favour; for soon after the

queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I

could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen alaughing, although at the same time she was

heartily vexed, and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her

majesty had taken a marrowbone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again

in the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the

sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and

squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for some

time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become

of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not

scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the

people of my country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered

with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any

rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes

alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or spawn behind, which to me was very

visible, though not to the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mine, in viewing

smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick,

smelling very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists tell us, enables

those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these

detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of

the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out

suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in

pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon a window, as she usually did in fair

days to give me air (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with

cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet

cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming louder

than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others

flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost terror of their

stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four

of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insects were as large as partridges: I

took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them

all; and having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to

England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.

[The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The king's palace; and some account of the

I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not

above two thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended, never

went farther when she accompanied the king in his progresses, and there staid till his majesty returned from

viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions reaches about six thousand miles in length,

and from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great

error, by supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion, that there must

be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their

maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the northwest parts of America, wherein I shall be ready

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the northeast by a ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are

altogether impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know what sort

of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other sides, it is

bounded by the ocean. There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts of the coasts into

which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing

with the smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the rest of

the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any

from the sea, because the sea fish are of the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth

catching; whereby it is manifest, that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary a

bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers.

However, now and then they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks, which the common

people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his

shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a

dish at the king's table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for I think, indeed,

the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fiftyone cities, near a hundred walled towns, and a great

number of villages. To satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city

stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the river that passes through. It contains above eighty

thousand houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three GLOMGLUNGS (which

make about fiftyfour English miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as I measured it myself in the royal map

made by the king's order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I

paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and, computing by the scale, measured it pretty

The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, about seven miles round: the chief rooms are

generally two hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to

Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among the shops;

and I was always of the party, carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me

out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the houses and the people, as we passed

along the streets. I reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminsterhall, but not altogether so high:

however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where

the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the most horrible

spectacle that ever a European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a

monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole body.

There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than five woolpacks; and another, with a couple of

wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice crawling on their

clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a

European louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they rooted like swine. They were the first

I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had proper

instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of

about twelve feet square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was somewhat too

large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I directed

in the whole contrivance. This travellingcloset was an exact square, with a window in the middle of three of

the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long

journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the person

that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist.

This was always the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I attended the king

and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or

minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order; for I soon began to be known

and esteemed among the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their majesties' favour, than any

merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on my

box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides,

from my three windows. I had, in this closet, a fieldbed and a hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs

and a table, neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or the

coach. And having been long used to seavoyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent, did not

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my travellingcloset; which Glumdalclitch held in

her lap in a kind of open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and attended by two

others in the queen's livery. The people, who had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the

sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the

highest in the kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I came back

disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest

pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great

matter for admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to

detract from a nation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it must be

allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the

walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about forty feet square, and adorned

on all sides with statues of gods and emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their several

niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one of these statues, and lay unperceived

among some rubbish, and found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in her

handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very

The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and about six hundred feet high. The great oven

is not so wide, by ten paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on purpose, after my return.

But if I should describe the kitchen grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the

spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to

think I enlarged a little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure I fear I have run too

much into the other extreme; and that if this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of

Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and transmitted thither, the king and his people

would have reason to complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive representation.

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables: they are generally from fiftyfour to sixty

feet high. But, when he goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military guard of five

hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part

[Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of a criminal. The author shows his skill in

I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous

and troublesome accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the

gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, or

set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those gardens,

and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs

show my wit, by a silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their language as it does

in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them,

shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came

tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on

my face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grassplot to divert myself, while she walked at some

distance with her governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was

immediately by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such cruel

bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennisballs; however, I made a shift to creep on all

fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the leeside of a border of lemonthyme, but so

bruised from head to foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at,

because nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near

eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been so curious

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my little nurse, believing she had

put me in a secure place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and having

left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governess

and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that

belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the

place where I lay: the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran straight to

his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that

I was carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener, who

knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both his

hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a

few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the

place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She

severely reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known at

court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my

This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad for the future out of her sight. I

had been long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures, that

happened in those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at

me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he would have certainly

carried me away in his talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh molehill, I fell to my neck in the

hole, through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse

myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in those solitary walks, that the smaller

birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance, looking for worms

and other food, with as much indifference and security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a

thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given

me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,

endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back

unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it

with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the neck with both

my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering

himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and body, though I held him at

arm'slength, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was

soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the

queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English

The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, and desired she would bring me along

with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from

top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because, to say the

truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of

those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in

proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more disagreeable to their lovers, or to

each other, than people of the same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural smell

was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I

cannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a

good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way, as most

of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this

people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse,

That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then)

was, to see them use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence:

for they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed on

their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting

sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins appeared so coarse

and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher,

and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons.

Neither did they at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of at least

two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a

pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, with many other

tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I

entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.

One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's governess, came and pressed them both to see

an execution. It was of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate acquaintance.

Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was

naturally tenderhearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity

tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a

scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The

veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the great JET

D'EAU at Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor,

gave such a bounce as made me start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my seavoyages, and took all occasions to divert me when I

was melancholy, asked me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise

of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although

my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to

work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest

wherry was equal to a firstrate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never live in

any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would

provide a place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my instructions, in ten days,

finished a pleasureboat with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was

finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a

cistern full of water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls, or little oars, for

want of room. But the queen had before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden

trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking,

was placed on the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out

the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used

to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well

entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only to

steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their pages would

blow my sail forward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased.

When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.

In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost me my life; for, one of the pages having

put my boat into the trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to place

me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down forty feet

upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corkingpin that stuck in

the good gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my

breeches, and thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough every third day with fresh water, was

so careless as to let a huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put

into my boat, but then, seeing a restingplace, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I was

forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it

hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward, daubing my face

and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal that

can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a monkey, who belonged to one of the

clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon

business, or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closetwindow was left open, as well as the windows

and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat

quietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the closetwindow, and skip about from one

side to the other: whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my

seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box,

which he seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I

retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a

fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After

some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at

the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length

seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged

me out. He took me up in his right forefoot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just

as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he

squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me

for a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other paw. In these

diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he

suddenly leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking

upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard

Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that

quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by hundreds in

the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me

with the other, by cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his

chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing;

neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous enough to

every body but myself. Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which the monkey observing, and finding

himself almost encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge

tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every

moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over

from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse

picked it out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell avomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I

was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to

keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her

majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such

When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a

good deal upon this adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and speculations were, while I lay in the

monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the

roof had sharpened my stomach." He desired to know, "what I would have done upon such an occasion in my

own country." I told his majesty, "that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were brought for

curiosity from other places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to

attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an

elephant), if my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger," (looking fiercely, and

clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) "when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have

given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in." This

I delivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question.

However, my speech produced nothing else beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty

from those about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man

to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.

And yet I have seen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little

contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with

importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to

excess, yet was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought would be

diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air

about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small footpath in a

field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cowdung in

the path, and I must need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped

short, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of

the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse

confined me to my box, till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and

the footmen spread it about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at my expense.

[Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He shows his skill in music. The king

inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations thereon.]

I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had often seen him under the barber's hand, which

indeed was at first very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His

majesty, according to the custom of the country, was only shaved twice aweek. I once prevailed on the

barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of

hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal

distances with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially,

scraping and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a

seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: neither did I know

any artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's

woman to save for me the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and

consulting with my friend the cabinetmaker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I

directed him to make two chairframes, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little holes with a

fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the strongest

hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a

present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed

they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon one of these chairs,

but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body

on those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical

genius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered in gold

letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than

use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set

in my box on a table to hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am

confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at your ears,

could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far

as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window curtains; after which I found their

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a

master attended twice aweek to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled that

instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the

king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for the

spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms extended I could not

reach to above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be

too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the

bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with

pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the

sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I

ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and

made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent exercise

I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble

together, as other artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I

should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to bring one of

my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought

me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day took the

freedom to tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did

not seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did not extend

itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons were

usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more

industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I

hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The king heard me with attention, and began to

conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give him as exact an

account of the government of England as I possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their

own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should be glad to hear

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero,

that might have enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits

I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions consisted of two islands, which composed

three mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the

fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an

English parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblest

blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always taken of

their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have

a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal;

and to be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, and

fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned

ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity were never once

known to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of

bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people therein.

These were searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors,

among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the

depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called the House of Commons, who were all

principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love

of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most

august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the

law, presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice

and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and

achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many

millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and

pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished

all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours; and the king heard the whole

with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions he

When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a sixth audience, consulting his notes,

proposed many doubts, queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What methods were used to

cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the

first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble

family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new lords: whether

the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the

public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords

had in the laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the properties of

their fellowsubjects in the last resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want,

that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke

of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity

of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they were common priests; or slavish prostitute

chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into

He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing those whom I called commoners: whether a

stranger, with a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord,

or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so violently

bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of

their families, without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and

public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere."

And he desired to know, "Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves for

the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious

prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon

every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not prudent or

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty desired to be satisfied in several points: and

this I was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was

decreed for me with costs. He asked, "What time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong,

and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known

to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any

weight in the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in the general

knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges

had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and glossing upon at their

pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited

precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they

received any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they were

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he thought my memory had failed me, because I

computed our taxes at about five or six millions ayear, and when I came to mention the issues, he found

they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this point,

because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not

be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could

run out of its estate, like a private person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we found

money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we

must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richer

than our kings." He asked, what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or

treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary

standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, "if we were governed by our own

consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or against

whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not be better

defended by himself, his children, and family, than by halfadozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the

streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?"

He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our

people, by a computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics." He said, "he knew

no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should

not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was

weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend

He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to

know at what age this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their

time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by

their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence,

as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of their minds, and

force them, by the losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?"

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of our affairs during the last century;

protesting "it was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the

very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust,

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the

questions he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently,

delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little

friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved, that

ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best

explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and

eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have been

tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear,

from all you have said, how any one perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among

you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are advanced for their piety or

learning; soldiers, for their conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their

country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself," continued the king, "who have spent the greatest

part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many vices of your

country. But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung

and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little

odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth."

[The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantage to the king, which is rejected. The

king's great ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect and confined. The laws, and

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from concealing this part of my story. It was in

vain to discover my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced to rest with

patience, while my noble and beloved country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my

readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened to be so curious and

inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse

giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that I

artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than

the strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to my own country, which

Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and

deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. This

was my sincere endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed

But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly secluded from the rest of the world, and

must therefore be altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other nations:

the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking, from

which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so

remote a prince's notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable effects of a confined education, I shall

here insert a passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into his majesty's

favour, I told him of "an invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago, to make a certain

powder, into a heap of which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment,

although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air together, with a noise and agitation

greater than thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass or iron,

according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, with such violence and speed, as nothing was able

to sustain its force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of an army at

once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the

bottom of the sea, and when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide

hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often put this powder into large

hollow balls of iron, and discharged them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would rip up

the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all

who came near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood the

manner of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size

proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and the largest need not be above a hundred feet

long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter

down the walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever

it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands." This I humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute

of acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received, of his royal favour and protection.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of those terrible engines, and the proposal I had

made. "He was amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I" (these were his expressions) "could

entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of

blood and desolation which I had painted as the common effects of those destructive machines; whereof," he

said, "some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself, he protested,

that although few things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet he would rather

lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to

A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince possessed of every quality which procures

veneration, love, and esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with admirable

talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we

can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him absolute master

of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do I say this, with the least intention to

detract from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this account, be

very much lessened in the opinion of an English reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen from

their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science, as the more acute wits of Europe have

done. For, I remember very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to say, "there were

several thousand books among us written upon the art of government," it gave him (directly contrary to my

intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all

mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of

state, where an enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing

within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of

civil and criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not worth considering. And he gave it

for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of

ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in morality, history, poetry, and mathematics,

wherein they must be allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in life, to

the improvement of agriculture, and all mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as

to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception into their heads.

No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters in their alphabet, which consists only of

two and twenty. But indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most plain and

simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one interpretation: and to

write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or proceedings against

criminals, their precedents are so few, that they have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of mind: but their libraries are not very

large; for that of the king, which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand volumes,

placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The

queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a kind of wooden machine fiveandtwenty

feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of

stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read,

was put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face

towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten paces,

according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and then descending

gradually till I came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the other page in the same

manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff

as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they avoid nothing more than multiplying

unnecessary words, or using various expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those in

history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in

Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in

writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is in little esteem,

except among the women and the vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that country could

say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usual topics of European moralists, showing "how

diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend himself

from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in

strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in industry." He added, "that nature was

degenerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small abortive births, in

comparison of those in ancient times." He said "it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of

men were originally much larger, but also that there must have been giants in former ages; which, as it is

asserted by history and tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls, casually dug up in

several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled race of men in our days." He argued, "that

the very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been made, in the beginning of a size more large

and robust; not so liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling from a house, or a stone cast

from the hand of a boy, or being drowned in a little brook." From this way of reasoning, the author drew

several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could

not avoid reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed rather

matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe, upon a strict inquiry,

those quarrels might be shown as illgrounded among us as they are among that people.

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists of a hundred and seventysix thousand

foot, and thirtytwo thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up of tradesmen in the

several cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay or

reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good discipline, wherein I saw no

great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the command of his own landlord,

and every citizen under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, by

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, in a great field near the city of twenty

miles square. They were in all not above twentyfive thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it was

impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of ground they took up. A cavalier,

mounted on a large steed, might be about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a word

Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand

flashes of lightning were darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is no access from any other country, came

to think of armies, or to teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed, both by

conversation and reading their histories; for, in the course of many ages, they have been troubled with the

same disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for power, the

people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the laws of

that kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more than once

occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grandfather, in a general

composition; and the militia, then settled with common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.

[The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author attends them. The manner in which he

I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my liberty, though it was impossible to

conjecture by what means, or to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I

sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight of that coast, and the king had given strict orders,

that if at any time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and passengers brought in

a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might

propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to

be kept in cages, like tame canarybirds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality,

for curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king and queen, and

the delight of the whole court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could

never forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I could

converse upon even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being trod to death

like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended

the king and queen, in a progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my

travellingbox, which as I have already described, was a very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I

had ordered a hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break the jolts, when a

servant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock,

while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle of the hammock, I

ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as I slept; which hole I shut

When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to pass a few days at a palace he has near

Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued: I

had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the

ocean, which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I

really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very fond of, and who

had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented,

nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if

she had some forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, about half an hours walk

from the palace, towards the rocks on the seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my

sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the page

that I had a mind to take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy shut

the window close down, to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the

page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for birds' eggs, having before observed

him from my window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found

myself suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for the

conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious

speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterward the motion was easy

enough. I called out several times, as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards

my windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a noise just over my head, like the

clapping of wings, and then began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle had got the ring

of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my

body, and devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover his quarry at a great

In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and

down, like a sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought given to the eagle (for such I

am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself

falling perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my

breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara;

after which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and then my box began to rise so high, that I could see

light from the tops of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my

body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top and

bottom, floated about five feet deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew away

with my box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself

against the rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box (for those

were the strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the surface of the

water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash,

which kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out of my hammock,

having first ventured to draw back the slipboard on the roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom one single hour had so far divided

me! And I may say with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poor

nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune.

Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at this juncture,

expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent blast, or rising

wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could any thing have

preserved the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I

saw the water ooze in at several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I endeavoured to stop

them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have

done, and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve myself some hours longer, than by being shut up

(as I may call it) in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a

miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed upon that side of my box which had no

window, and into which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a leathern belt, and

buckle it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind of

grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box

was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near

the tops of my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief, although I

was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were

always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it down again, directly under the

slippingboard that I had lately opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I could to

the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened my

handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if

any boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet to be moved along; and in the space of

an hour, or better, that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows, struck against something

that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise

upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then

found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up

my stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great shout

repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I

now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole with a loud voice, in the

English tongue, "If there be any body below, let them speak." I answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn by ill

fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be

delivered out of the dungeon I was in." The voice replied, "I was safe, for my box was fastened to their ship;

and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to pull me out." I

answered, "that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there was no more to be done, but let one

of the crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the captain's

cabin." Some of them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it never

came into my head, that I was now got among people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came,

and in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions, which I had no inclination to answer.

I was equally confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so long

accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest

worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort

me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before

I went to sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too good to be lost: a

fine hammock, a handsome fieldbed, two chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,

or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I

would open it there before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities,

concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and going

upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my

goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were

much damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off some of

the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea,

which by reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to rights. And, indeed, I was glad not

to have been a spectator of the havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me,

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place I had left, and the dangers I had

escaped. However, upon waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o'clock at night, and

the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with great

kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I

would give him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous

wooden chest. He said "that about twelve o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at a

distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes

of buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and finding his error, he

sent out his longboat to discover what it was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a

swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself in the boat, ordering his men to take a

strong cable along with them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my

windows and wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which was all

of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening a

cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the ship. When it was

there, he gave directions to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with

pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or three feet." He said, "they saw my stick and

handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the cavity." I

asked, "whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first discovered

me." To which he answered, that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was asleep, one of them said,

he had observed three eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger than the

usual size:" which I suppose must be imputed to the great height they were at; and he could not guess the

reason of my question. I then asked the captain, "how far he reckoned we might be from land?" He said, "by

the best computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues." I assured him, "that he must be

mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the country whence I came above two hours before I dropped into

the sea." Whereupon he began again to think that my brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and

advised me to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, "I was well refreshed with his good

entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was in my life." He then grew serious, and

desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in my mind by the consciousness of some enormous

crime, for which I was punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great

criminals, in other countries, have been forced to sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he

should be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage his word to set me safe ashore,

in the first port where we arrived." He added, "that his suspicions were much increased by some very absurd

speeches I had delivered at first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did, from the last time I left England, to the

moment he first discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this honest worthy

gentleman, who had some tincture of learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my

candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinet

should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for he had already informed me how the seamen

disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made

in the country from which I had been so strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the

stumps of the king's beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of her majesty's

thumbnail, which served for the back. There was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard

long; four wasp stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's hair; a gold ring, which one day she

made me a present of, in a most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over my

head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he

absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my own hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it

was about the bigness of Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England, I got it hollowed

into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a

I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I observed him to examine with great curiosity, and

found he had a fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could deserve. It

was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted with

the toothache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had given him, and said, "he hoped, when we

returned to England, I would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it public." My answer was,

"that we were overstocked with books of travels: that nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary;

wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth, than their own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of

ignorant readers; that my story could contain little beside common events, without those ornamental

descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of

savage people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised

He said "he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me speak so loud;" asking me "whether the

king or queen of that country were thick of hearing?" I told him, "it was what I had been used to for above

two years past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to

whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was like a man talking

in the streets, to another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or held in

any person's hand." I told him, "I had likewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the ship, and

the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld."

For indeed, while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to look in a glass, after mine eyes had

been accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so despicable a conceit of

myself. The captain said, "that while we were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a sort of

wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but

imputed it to some disorder in my brain." I answered, "it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear,

when I saw his dishes of the size of a silver threepence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not so big as

a nutshell;" and so I went on, describing the rest of his householdstuff and provisions, after the same

manner. For, although he queen had ordered a little equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in

her service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I winked at my own

littleness, as people do at their own faults. The captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied

with the old English proverb, "that he doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly, for he did not observe

my stomach so good, although I had fasted all day;" and, continuing in his mirth, protested "he would have

gladly given a hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so

great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the

description of it transmitted to future ages:" and the comparison of Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England, driven northeastward to the latitude of

44 degrees, and longitude of 143. But meeting a tradewind two days after I came on board him, we sailed

southward a long time, and coasting New Holland, kept our course westsouthwest, and then

southsouthwest, till we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not

trouble the reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his longboat for

provisions and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the

third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my goods in security for

payment of my freight: but the captain protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave of

each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to

think myself in Lilliput. I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called aloud to have

them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of the servants opening the door, I bent

down to go in, (like a goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out to embrace me, but I

stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter

kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with my

head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked

down upon the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I a

giant. I told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to

nothing." In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he

first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of habit and

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right understanding: but my wife protested "I should

never go to sea any more;" although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to hinder me, as the

reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate voyages.

[The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an

I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the

Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another ship

where he was master, and a fourth part owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more like

a brother, than an inferior officer; and, hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of

friendship, for nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But repeating his visits often,

expressing his joy to find I me in good health, asking, "whether I were now settled for life?" adding, "that he

intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months," at last he plainly invited me, though with some

apologies, to be surgeon of the ship; "that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our two mates; that

my salary should be double to the usual pay; and that having experienced my knowledge in seaaffairs to be

at least equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had shared in

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a man, that I could not reject this

proposal; the thirst I had of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent as

ever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at last obtained,

We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there

three weeks to refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the

captain resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor

could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some of the charges he

must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade

to the neighbouring islands, and putting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he

appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we were driven five days to the

northnortheast, and then to the east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale

from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so

deep laden, that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves.

We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered furiously at the head of their men; but

finding us all prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes, and setting

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority, though he was not commander of

either ship. He knew us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own language,

swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who

we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring countries

in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated

his threatenings, and turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese language, as I

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very

imperfectly. He came up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great humility, he said, "we

should not die." I made the captain a very low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, "I was sorry to

find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian." But I had soon reason to repent those foolish

for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be

thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I should not die),

however, prevailed so far, as to have a punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than

death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As

to myself, it was determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and four

days' provisions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and would

permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded

About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46

N. and longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I discovered, by my pocketglass,

several islands to the southeast. I set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the nearest of

those islands, which I made a shift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: however I got many birds'

eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry seaweed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other

supper, being resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter of a

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and fourth, sometimes using my sail, and

sometimes my paddles. But, not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it suffice,

that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay southsoutheast to the former.

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not reach it in less than five hours. I

encompassed it almost round, before I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small creek,

about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with

tufts of grass, and sweetsmelling herbs. I took out my small provisions and after having refreshed myself, I

secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks,

and got a quantity of dry seaweed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, and roast my

eggs as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and burningglass. I lay all night in the cave

where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and seaweed which I intended for fuel. I

slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered

how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place, and how miserable my end must be: yet

found myself so listless and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could get spirits enough

to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly

clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a sudden it became obscure, as

I thought, in a manner very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and

perceived a vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be

about two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much colder, or

the sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached nearer over the

place where I was, it appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from

the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this

vast body descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance. I took out my pocket

perspective, and could plainly discover numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which

appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I was not able to distinguish.

The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I was ready to entertain a hope that this

adventure might, some way or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But at

the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by

men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as they pleased. But

not being at that time in a disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what

course the island would take, because it seemed for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer,

and I could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals,

to descend from one to the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling rods,

and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the

island; and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the utmost strength of my voice; and then

looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I found by their

pointing towards me and to each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my

shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste, up the stairs, to the top of the island, who

then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to some person in authority

The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the island was moved and raised in such a

manner, that the lowest gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance from the height

where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but

received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of distinction, as I

supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of

them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the Italian: and therefore I returned an

answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although

neither of us understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the distress I was in.

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards the shore, which I accordingly did; and

the flying island being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down from

the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys.

[The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of their learning. Of the king and his

court. The author's reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account of the

Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those who stood nearest seemed to be of

better quality. They beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in

their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and countenances.

Their heads were all reclined, either to the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the other

directly up to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars;

interwoven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many other instruments of

music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed, here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown

bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they carried in their hands. In each bladder was a

small quantity of dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With these bladders, they now

and then flapped the mouths and ears of those who stood near them, of which practice I could not then

conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so taken up with intense speculations, that they

neither can speak, nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by some external taction upon

the organs of speech and hearing; for which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep a

flapper (the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of their domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or

make visits, without him. And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more persons are in

company, gently to strike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them

to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise employed diligently to attend his master in

his walks, and upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in

cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every

post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself into the kennel.

It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which he would be at the same loss with me to

understand the proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the island, and

from thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were about,

and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused by their flappers; for they appeared altogether

unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of presence, where I saw the king seated on his

throne, attended on each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large table filled with

globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of us,

although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all persons belonging to the court.

But he was then deep in a problem; and we attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by

him, on each side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one of them

gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and

looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of our coming, whereof he had been

informed before. He spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap came up to my

side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for

such an instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and the whole court, a very mean opinion

of my understanding. The king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed

myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither understand nor be understood, I

was conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished above all his

predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me. My dinner was

brought, and four persons of quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the king's person, did me

the honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes each. In the first course, there was a shoulder

of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding into a cycloid. The

second course was two ducks trussed up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes and

hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders,

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several things in their language, and those noble

persons, by the assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration of

their great abilities if I could be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink, or

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the king's order, attended by a flapper.

He brought with him pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to understand by signs, that he

was sent to teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great number of

words in columns, with the translations over against them; I likewise made a shift to learn several short

sentences; for my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to

sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in one of

his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the

denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names and descriptions of all the musical

instruments, and the general terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my

words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very faithful

memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which I interpret the flying or floating island, is in

the original LAPUTA, whereof I could never learn the true etymology. LAP, in the old obsolete language,

signifies high; and UNTUH, a governor; from which they say, by corruption, was derived LAPUTA, from

LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer

to the learned among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was QUASI LAP OUTED; LAP, signifying

properly, the dancing of the sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude,

Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad, ordered a tailor to come next

morning, and take measure for a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different manner from

those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses,

described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six days

brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a figure in the calculation.

But my comfort was, that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition that held me some days longer, I much

enlarged my dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to understand many things the king spoke,

and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders, that the island should move northeast

and by east, to the vertical point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm

earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four days and a half. I was not in the least

sensible of the progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second morning, about eleven

o'clock, the king himself in person, attended by his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their

musical instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the

noise; neither could I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that, the people of their

island had their ears adapted to hear "the music of the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and

the court was now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they most excelled."

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered that the island should stop over certain

towns and villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this purpose, several

packthreads were let down, with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the people strung their

petitions, which mounted up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by school boys at the end of the string

that holds their kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.

The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in acquiring their phraseology, which

depended much upon that science, and music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are perpetually

conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other

animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words

of art drawn from music, needless here to repeat. I observed in the king's kitchen all sorts of mathematical

and musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to his majesty's

Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right angle in any apartment; and this defect arises

from the contempt they bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic; those

instructions they give being too refined for the intellects of their workmen, which occasions perpetual

mistakes. And although they are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the rule, the

pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and behaviour of life, I have not seen a more clumsy,

awkward, and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other subjects, except

those of mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless

when they happen to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, and invention,

they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed;

the whole compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two forementioned sciences.

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part, have great faith in judicial astrology,

although they are ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether

unaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually inquiring

into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every inch of a party

opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians I have known in

Europe, although I could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless those people

suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and

management of the world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe; but I rather take

this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious and

conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are least adapted by study or nature.

These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a minutes peace of mind; and their

disturbances proceed from causes which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise from

several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual approaches of

the sun towards it, must, in course of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun, will, by

degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more light to the world; that the earth very narrowly

escaped a brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to ashes; and that the

next, which they have calculated for oneandthirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its

perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as by their calculations they have reason to

dread) it will receive a degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red hot glowing iron, and

in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which,

if the earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the nucleus, or main body of the

comet, it must in its passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily spending its rays without

any nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be attended with

the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive their light from it.

They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, and the like impending dangers, that they

can neither sleep quietly in their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements of life.

When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how he looked at

his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching comet. This

conversation they are apt to run into with the same temper that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible

stories of spirits and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear.

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they, contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond

of strangers, whereof there is always a considerable number from the continent below, attending at court,

either upon affairs of the several towns and corporations, or their own particular occasions, but are much

despised, because they want the same endowments. Among these the ladies choose their gallants: but the

vexation is, that they act with too much ease and security; for the husband is always so rapt in speculation,

that the mistress and lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he be but provided with

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island, although I think it the most delicious spot of

ground in the world; and although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and are allowed to

do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis, which they are

not allowed to do without a particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the

people of quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return from

below. I was told that a great court lady, who had several children,is married to the prime minister, the

richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of

the island,went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid herself for several months, till the king

sent a warrant to search for her; and she was found in an obscure eatinghouse all in rags, having pawned her

clothes to maintain an old deformed footman, who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken,

much against her will. And although her husband received her with all possible kindness, and without the

least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the same gallant, and has

This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or English story, than for one of a country so

remote. But he may please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any climate or

In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in their language, and was able to answer most of

the king's questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least curiosity to

inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I had been; but

confined his questions to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with great contempt

[A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians' great improvements in the

I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island, which he was graciously pleased to grant, and

ordered my tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in nature, it owed its several

The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837 yards, or about four miles and a half, and

consequently contains ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or under surface,

which appears to those who view it below, is one even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of

about two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is a coat of rich

mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the centre, is the

natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon the island, are conveyed in small rivulets toward the

middle, where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about half a mile in circuit, and two hundred

yards distant from the centre. From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime,

which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island

above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For

the highest clouds cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they were never known to do so

At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in diameter, whence the astronomers descend

into a large dome, which is therefore called FLANDONA GAGNOLE, or the astronomer's cave, situated at

the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps

continually burning, which, from the reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The place is

stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments.

But the greatest curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a prodigious size, in

shape resembling a weaver's shuttle. It is in length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over.

This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing through its middle, upon which it plays,

and is poised so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder of

adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six

yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities

The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the hoop and its feet are one continued

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and move from one place to another. For, with

respect to that part of the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of its sides with

an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end

towards the earth, the island descends; but when the repelling extremity points downwards, the island mounts

directly upwards. When the position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this

By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of the monarch's dominions. To explain the

manner of its progress, let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the line C D

represent the loadstone, of which let D be the repelling end, and C the attracting end, the island being over C:

let the stone be placed in position C D, with its repelling end downwards; then the island will be driven

upwards obliquely towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its axle, till its attracting

end points towards E, and then the island will be carried obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again

turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its repelling point downwards, the island will rise

obliquely towards F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island may be carried to G, and

from G to H, by turning the stone, so as to make its repelling extremity to point directly downward. And thus,

by changing the situation of the stone, as often as there is occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turns

in an oblique direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable) is

But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the extent of the dominions below, nor can it

rise above the height of four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large systems concerning

the stone) assign the following reason: that the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four

miles, and that the mineral, which acts upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in the sea about six

leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the

king's dominions; and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince to bring

When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the island stands still; for in that case the

extremities of it, being at equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawing downwards,

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from time to time, give it such positions as the

They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of

glasses, far excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they

magnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This

advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they

have made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one third

part of that number. They have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars;

whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the

outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twentyone and a half; so that

the squares of their periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of their distance from

the centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that influences

They have observed ninetythree different comets, and settled their periods with great exactness. If this be

true (and they affirm it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their observations were made

public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might be brought to the

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he could but prevail on a ministry to join with

him; but these having their estates below on the continent, and considering that the office of a favourite has a

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute,

the king has two methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is, by keeping the

island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the

sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases: and if the crime deserve it,

they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, against which they have no defence but by

creeping into cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue

obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly

upon their heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However, this is an extremity

to which the prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare his ministers

advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to the people, so it would be a great damage to

But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of this country have been always averse from

executing so terrible an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to be destroyed

should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first

with a view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or pillars of stone, a sudden fall

might endanger the bottom or under surface of the island, which, although it consist, as I have said, of one

entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by approaching

too near the fires from the houses below, as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys.

Of all this the people are well apprised, and understand how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or

property is concerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to press a city to

rubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people, but,

indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all their philosophers,

that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave

[The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the metropolis. A description of the

metropolis, and the country adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with

Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I must confess I thought myself too much

neglected, not without some degree of contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared to be curious in any

part of knowledge, except mathematics and music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account

On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island, I was very desirous to leave it, being

heartily weary of those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great esteem,

and wherein I am not unversed; but, at the same time, so abstracted and involved in speculation, that I never

met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen, flappers, and courtpages,

during two months of my abode there; by which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their language: I was weary of being confined

to an island where I received so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first opportunity.

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for that reason alone used with respect. He was

universally reckoned the most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had performed many eminent

services for the crown, had great natural and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill an

ear for music, that his detractors reported, "he had been often known to beat time in the wrong place;" neither

could his tutors, without extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in the

mathematics. He was pleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit, desired to

be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs, the manners and learning of the several countries

where I had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very wise observations on all I spoke.

He had two flappers attending him for state, but never made use of them, except at court and in visits of

ceremony, and would always command them to withdraw, when we were alone together.

I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with his majesty, for leave to depart; which he

accordingly did, as he was pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me several offers very

advantageous, which, however, I refused, with expressions of the highest acknowledgment.

On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court. The king made me a present to the value of

about two hundred pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a letter of

recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis. The island being then hovering over a mountain

about two miles from it, I was let down from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up.

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying island, passes under the general name of

BALNIBARBI; and the metropolis, as I said before, is called LAGADO. I felt some little satisfaction in

finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city without any concern, being clad like one of the natives,

and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the person's house to whom I was

recommended, presented my letter from his friend the grandee in the island, and was received with much

kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, where I

The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see the town, which is about half the bigness

of London; but the houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the streets

walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally in rags. We passed through one of the town

gates, and went about three miles into the country, where I saw many labourers working with several sorts of

tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what they were about: neither did observe any expectation

either of corn or grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd

appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased to

explain to me, what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in the streets and the

fields, because I did not discover any good effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so

unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a people whose countenances and habit

This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal

of ministers, was discharged for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he made no further answer than by telling

me, "that I had not been long enough among them to form a judgment; and that the different nations of the

world had different customs;" with other common topics to the same purpose. But, when we returned to his

palace, he asked me "how I liked the building, what absurdities I observed, and what quarrel I had with the

dress or looks of his domestics?" This he might safely do; because every thing about him was magnificent,

regular, and polite. I answered, "that his excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him from

those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in others." He said, "if I would go with him to his

countryhouse, about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this kind of

conversation." I told his excellency "that I was entirely at his disposal;" and accordingly we set out next

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by farmers in managing their lands, which

to me were wholly unaccountable; for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear of corn

or blade of grass. But, in three hours travelling, the scene was wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful

country; farmers' houses, at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing vineyards,

corngrounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency

observed my countenance to clear up; he told me, with a sigh, "that there his estate began, and would

continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for

managing his affairs no better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which, however, was

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure, built according to the best rules of

ancient architecture. The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with exact

judgment and taste. I gave due praises to every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not the least notice

till after supper; when, there being no third companion, he told me with a very melancholy air "that he

doubted he must throw down his houses in town and country, to rebuild them after the present mode; destroy

all his plantations, and cast others into such a form as modern usage required, and give the same directions to

all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance,

caprice, and perhaps increase his majesty's displeasure; that the admiration I appeared to be under would

cease or diminish, when he had informed me of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court,

the people there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have regard to what passed here

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: "That about forty years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa,

either upon business or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a very little smattering

in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return,

began to dislike the management of every thing below, and fell into schemes of putting all arts, sciences,

languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot. To this end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy

of projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is not a town of

any consequence in the kingdom without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new

rules and methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and tools for all trades and

manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week,

of materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the fruits of the earth shall come to maturity

at whatever season we think fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do at present; with

innumerable other happy proposals. The only inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to

perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country lies miserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people

without food or clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times more violently bent

upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of an

enterprising spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built, and

act as they did, in every part of life, without innovation: that some few other persons of quality and gentry

had done the same, but were looked on with an eye of contempt and illwill, as enemies to art, ignorant, and

ill commonwealth's men, preferring their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of their

His lordship added, "That he would not, by any further particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly

take in viewing the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go." He only desired me to observe a

ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this account:

"That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current from a large river,

and sufficient for his own family, as well as a great number of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club

of those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the side of that

mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, for a repository of water, to be conveyed up by

pipes and engines to supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated the water, and thereby

made it fitter for motion, and because the water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with half

the current of a river whose course is more upon a level." He said, "that being then not very well with the

court, and pressed by many of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing a hundred men

for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him

ever since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as well as equal

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering the bad character he had in the

academy, would not go with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither.

My lord was pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and easy

belief; which, indeed, was not without truth; for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger days.

[The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy largely described. The arts wherein

This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of several houses on both sides of a street,

I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the academy. Every room has in it one

or more projectors; and I believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.

The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and

singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has been eight years

upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed,

and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that, in eight years more,

he should be able to supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate: but he complained that

his stock was low, and entreated me "to give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially

since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers." I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished

me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them.

I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost overcome with a horrible stink. My

conductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give no offence, which would be highly

resented;" and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient

student of the academy; his face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over with

filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I could well have excused.

His employment, from his first coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to its

original food, by separating the several parts, removing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making

the odour exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a vessel

I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise showed me a treatise he had written

There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method for building houses, by beginning at

the roof, and working downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those two

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own condition: their employment was to mix

colours for painters, which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was indeed my

misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be

generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity.

In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had found a device of ploughing the ground

with hogs, to save the charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of ground you

bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or

vegetables, whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into the field,

where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at

the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very

great, and they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow

passage for the artist to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to disturb his webs." He

lamented "the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of

domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as spin."

And he proposed further, "that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly saved;"

whereof I was fully convinced, when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,

wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us "that the webs would take a tincture from them; and as he had them

of all hues, he hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of certain

gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength and consistence to the threads."

There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sundial upon the great weathercock on the

townhouse, by adjusting the annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide

I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor led me into a room where a great

physician resided, who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument.

He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the

anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when the

disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were full of wind, which he

discharged into the body of the patient; then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb

strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being repeated three or four times, the adventitious

wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a pump), and the patient

recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. After

the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very offensive to me and my

The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same operation.

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with all the curiosities I observed, being

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being appropriated to the advancers of speculative

learning, of whom I shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who is called

among them "the universal artist." He told us "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the

improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work.

Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or

fluid particles percolate; others softening marble, for pillows and pincushions; others petrifying the hoofs of

a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great

designs; the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to be contained, as he

demonstrated by several experiments, which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a

certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool

upon two young lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all over the

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have already said, the projectors in

The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupils about him. After salutation, observing

me to look earnestly upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of the room,

he said, "Perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by

practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered

himself, that a more noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head. Every one knew how

laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant

person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in philosophy, poetry,

politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study." He then led me

to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the

middle of the room. The superfices was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but

some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered, on

every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their language, in

their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order. The professor then desired me "to

observe; for he was going to set his engine at work." The pupils, at his command, took each of them hold of

an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn,

the whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded sixandthirty of the lads, to

read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words

together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This

work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted

Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and the professor showed me several

volumes in large folio, already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of

those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still

improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred such

frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their several collections.

He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his youth; that he had emptied the

whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion there is in

books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech."

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for his great communicativeness; and

promised, "if ever I had the good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the

sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on

paper, as in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal

inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a controversy which was

the right owner; yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival."

We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat in consultation upon improving that of

The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great

advantage in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in some degree, a

diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An

expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names for things, it would be more convenient for

all men to carry about them such things as were necessary to express a particular business they are to

discourse on." And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the

subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion

unless they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their forefathers;

However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things;

which has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great, and of various kinds, he

must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or

two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of

their packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down their loads, open their

sacks, and hold conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume

But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his pockets, and under his arms, enough to

supply him; and in his house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who practise

this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.

Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it would serve as a universal language, to be

understood in all civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly

resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to

treat with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers.

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in

Europe. The proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of a

cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days following, eat

nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition

along with it. But the success has not hitherto been answerable, partly by some error in the QUANTUM or

composition, and partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that they generally

steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so

[A further account of the academy. The author proposes some improvements, which are honourably

In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the professors appearing, in my judgment,

wholly out of their senses, which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people

were proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites upon the score of their wisdom,

capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers to consult the public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities,

eminent services; of instructing princes to know their true interest, by placing it on the same foundation with

that of their people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other wild,

impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old

observation, "that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some philosophers have not

But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy, as to acknowledge that all of them were

not so visionary. There was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature

and system of government. This illustrious person had very usefully employed his studies, in finding out

effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the several kinds of public administration are

subject, by the vices or infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to

obey. For instance: whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance

between the natural and the political body; can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both

must be preserved, and the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed, that senates and great

councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of the

head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in

both hands, but especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous tumours, full

of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy ructations: with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion, besides

This doctor therefore proposed, "that upon the meeting of the senate, certain physicians should attend it the

three first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the pulses of every senator; after

which, having maturely considered and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods of

cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house, attended by their apothecaries stored with

proper medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives,

corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their

several cases required; and, according as these medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the

This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and might in my poor opinion, be of much use

for the despatch of business, in those countries where senates have any share in the legislative power; beget

unanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now closed, and close many more which are now

open; curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the

Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of princes are troubled with short and weak

memories; the same doctor proposed, "that whoever attended a first minister, after having told his business,

with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words, should, at his departure, give the said minister a tweak by

the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into his

breech; or pinch his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day, repeat the same

He likewise directed, "that every senator in the great council of a nation, after he had delivered his opinion,

and argued in the defence of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary; because if that were done,

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this:

You take a hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are nearest of a

size; then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a manner that the

brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be interchanged, applying each to the head of his

opposite partyman. It seems indeed to be a work that requires some exactness, but the professor assured us,

"that if it were dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible." For he argued thus: "that the two half

brains being left to debate the matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would soon come to a

good understanding, and produce that moderation, as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for

in the heads of those, who imagine they come into the world only to watch and govern its motion: and as to

the difference of brains, in quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the doctor assured

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most commodious and effectual ways and

means of raising money, without grieving the subject. The first affirmed, "the justest method would be, to lay

a certain tax upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by

a jury of his neighbours." The second was of an opinion directly contrary; "to tax those qualities of body and

mind, for which men chiefly value themselves; the rate to be more or less, according to the degrees of

excelling; the decision whereof should be left entirely to their own breast." The highest tax was upon men

who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, and the assessments, according to the number and nature of

the favours they have received; for which, they are allowed to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, and

politeness, were likewise proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by every person's

giving his own word for the quantum of what he possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning,

they should not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so singular a kind, that no man will either

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skill in dressing, wherein they had the

same privilege with the men, to be determined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense,

and good nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the charge of collecting.

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that the members should raffle for employment;

every man first taking an oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he won or not;

after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and

expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of broken promises, but impute their disappointments

wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry.

Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for discovering plots and conspiracies against the

government. He advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected persons; their times of

eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of their

excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion,

form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as

when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for, in such conjunctures, when he used,

merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture

of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or burning the metropolis.

The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many observations, both curious and useful

for politicians; but, as I conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered, if

he pleased, to supply him with some additions. He received my proposition with more compliance than is

usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing "he would be glad to receive

I told him, "that in the kingdom of Tribnia, (3) by the natives called Langdon, (4) where I had sojourned

some time in my travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers, witnesses,

informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers, together with their several subservient and subaltern

instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots,

in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those persons who desire to raise their own characters of

profound politicians; to restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifle or divert general discontents; to

fill their coffers with forfeitures; and raise, or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best answer

their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them, what suspected persons shall be accused of

a plot; then, effectual care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put the owners in chains. These

papers are delivered to a set of artists, very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words,

syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool, to signify a privy council; a flock of geese,

a senate; a lame dog, an invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime minister; the gout, a high

priest; a gibbet, a secretary of state; a chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a broom, a

revolution; a mousetrap, an employment; a bottomless pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a

favourite; a broken reed, a court of justice; an empty tun, a general; a running sore, the administration. (5)

"When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which the learned among them call acrostics

and anagrams. First, they can decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus N, shall signify a plot;

B, a regiment of horse; L, a fleet at sea; or, secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any

suspected paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for example, if I should

say, in a letter to a friend, 'Our brother Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer would discover, that

the same letters which compose that sentence, may be analysed into the following words, 'Resist, a plot is

The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these observations, and promised to make

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer continuance, and began to think of returning

[The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib.

The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I have reason to believe, eastward, to that

unknown tract of America westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean, which is not above a

hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where there is a good port, and much commerce with the great island

of Luggnagg, situated to the northwest about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of

Luggnagg stands southeastward of Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between

the Japanese emperor and the king of Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from one

island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course this way, in order to my return to Europe. I

hired two mules, with a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small baggage. I took leave of my noble

protector, who had shown me so much favour, and made me a generous present at my departure.

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When I arrived at the port of Maldonada

(for so it is called) there was no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in some time. The

town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A

gentleman of distinction said to me, "that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than

a month, it might be no disagreeable amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib,

about five leagues off to the southwest." He offered himself and a friend to accompany me, and that I should

Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about

one third as large as the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head of a certain tribe,

who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or

governor. He has a noble palace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn

stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill

in necromancy he has a power of calling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for

twentyfour hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up again in less than three months, except

When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning, one of the gentlemen who

accompanied me went to the governor, and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have

the honour of attending on his highness. This was immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate of

the palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a very antic manner, and with something in

their countenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express. We passed through several

apartments, between servants of the same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of

presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general questions, we were permitted to sit on

three stools, near the lowest step of his highness's throne. He understood the language of Balnibarbi, although

it was different from that of this island. He desired me to give him some account of my travels; and, to let me

see that I should be treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger; at

which, to my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream when we awake on a

sudden. I could not recover myself in some time, till the governor assured me, "that I should receive no hurt:"

and observing my two companions to be under no concern, who had been often entertained in the same

manner, I began to take courage, and related to his highness a short history of my several adventures; yet not

without some hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen those domestic

spectres. I had the honour to dine with the governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and

waited at table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the morning. I stayed till sunset,

but humbly desired his highness to excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My

two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which is the capital of this little island; and the

next morning we returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command us.

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part of every day with the governor, and at

night in our lodging. I soon grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth time they

gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his

highness the governor ordered me "to call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and in whatever

numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and command them to

answer any questions I should think fit to ask; with this condition, that my questions must be confined within

the compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a favour. We were in a chamber, from

whence there was a fair prospect into the park. And because my first inclination was to be entertained with

scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great at the head of his army, just after the

battle of Arbela: which, upon a motion of the governor's finger, immediately appeared in a large field, under

the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into the room: it was with great difficulty that I

understood his Greek, and had but little of my own. He assured me upon his honour "that he was not

Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me "he had not a drop of vinegar in his camp."

I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to engage. I saw the former, in his last great

triumph. I desired that the senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and an assembly of

somewhat a later age in counterview, in another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demigods;

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus to advance towards us. I was struck with a

profound veneration at the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue, the

greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his country, and general benevolence for

mankind, in every lineament of his countenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons were

in good intelligence with each other; and Caesar freely confessed to me, "that the greatest actions of his own

life were not equal, by many degrees, to the glory of taking it away." I had the honour to have much

conversation with Brutus; and was told, "that his ancestor Junius, Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger,

Sir Thomas More, and himself were perpetually together:" a sextumvirate, to which all the ages of the world

It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast numbers of illustrious persons were called up

to gratify that insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity placed before me. I chiefly

fed mine eyes with beholding the destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed

and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I received in my own mind, after such a

Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit and learning, I set apart one day on

purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but these

were so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the palace. I

knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other.

Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were

the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was

meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon discovered that both of them were perfect

strangers to the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before; and I had a whisper from a

ghost who shall be nameless, "that these commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their

principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horribly

misrepresented the meaning of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer,

and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius

to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him of Scotus

and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I prevailed to explain their systems

to Aristotle. This great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he

proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made

the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the vortices of Descartes, were equally to be exploded.

He predicted the same fate to ATTRACTION, whereof the present learned are such zealous asserters. He

said, "that new systems of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those, who

pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw most of the first Roman

emperors. I prevailed on the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could not

show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I

The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by their private affairs to return in three

days, which I employed in seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for two or

three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer

of old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors

in order for eight or nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a

long train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate.

In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell

any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so

scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular

features, by which certain families are distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence

one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools for

two more; why a third happened to be crackbrained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what

Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, NEC VIR FORTIS, NEC FOEMINA CASTA; how cruelty,

falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as

by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended scrofulous

tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by

pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly examined all the persons of greatest name in

the courts of princes, for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by prostitute writers, to

ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman

virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many

innocent and excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising of great

ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to the

highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events of courts,

councils, and senates might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an

opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great

enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to write anecdotes, or secret history; who

send so many kings to their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince and chief

minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state;

and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes of many great events that

have surprised the world; how a whore can govern the backstairs, the backstairs a council, and the council

a senate. A general confessed, in my presence, "that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and ill

conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to

betray the fleet." Three kings protested to me, "that in their whole reigns they never did once prefer any

person of merit, unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided; neither would they

do it if they were to live again:" and they showed, with great strength of reason, "that the royal throne could

not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff temper, which virtue infused into

I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what methods great numbers had procured to

themselves high titles of honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period:

however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners

(for I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I say upon

this occasion,) a great number of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight examination,

discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury,

oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they

had to mention; and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed they

owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and

daughters; others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; more to the perverting

of justice, in order to destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a little

to abate of that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be

treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and desired to see the persons by whom

those services were performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be found on no record,

except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, I had

never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them

telling me, "they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a gibbet."

Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little singular. He had a youth about eighteen

years old standing by his side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in the sea

fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their

capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's flight, and of the victory that ensued;

that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action." He added, "that upon the confidence of

some merit, the war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred

to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given

to a boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the emperor's mistresses.

Returning back to his own vessel, he was charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page

of Publicola, the viceadmiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there

ended his life." I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called, who

was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more advantage to

the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great part of his merit.

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that empire, by the force of luxury so lately

introduced; which made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all kinds

have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done in the world, it gave me

melancholy reflections to observe how much the race of human kind was degenerated among us within these

hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament

of an English countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles,

I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old stamp might be summoned to appear; once

so famous for the simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their true spirit

of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the

living with the dead, when I considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of

money by their grandchildren; who, in selling their votes and managing at elections, have acquired every

[The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to

The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness, the Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and

returned with my two companions to Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's waiting, a ship was ready to sail

for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and some others, were so generous and kind as to furnish me with

provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a

necessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holds for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of

April, 1708, we sailed into the river of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the southeast point of

Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a signal for a pilot. Two of them came on

board in less than half an hour, by whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which are very

dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a fleet may ride in safety within a cable's length of the

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had informed the pilots "that I was a stranger,

and great traveller;" whereof these gave notice to a customhouse officer, by whom I was examined very

strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in the language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much

commerce, is generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and those employed in the customs. I

gave him a short account of some particulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could; but I

thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a Hollander; because my intentions were for

Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told

the officer, "that having been shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up

into Laputa, or the flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now endeavouring to get to Japan,

whence I might find a convenience of returning to my own country." The officer said, "I must be confined till

he could receive orders from court, for which he would write immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in

a fortnight." I was carried to a convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door; however, I had the liberty

of a large garden, and was treated with humanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge. I

was invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was reported that I came from countries

I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an interpreter; he was a native of Luggnagg, but had

lived some years at Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both languages. By his assistance, I was able to

hold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this consisted only of their questions, and my

The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It contained a warrant for conducting me and my

retinue to TRALDRAGDUBH, or TRILDROGDRIB (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can

remember), by a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into

my service, and, at my humble request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was despatched

half a day's journey before us, to give the king notice of my approach, and to desire, "that his majesty would

please to appoint a day and hour, when it would by his gracious pleasure that I might have the honour to lick

the dust before his footstool." This is the court style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon

my admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my belly, and lick the floor as I

advanced; but, on account of my being a stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the dust was

not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when

they desire an admittance. Nay, sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to be

admitted happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen a great lord with his mouth so crammed,

that when he had crept to the proper distance from the throne; he was not able to speak a word. Neither is

there any remedy; because it is capital for those, who receive an audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his

majesty's presence. There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether approve of: when the king has

a mind to put any of his nobles to death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strewed

with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which being licked up, infallibly kills him in

twentyfour hours. But in justice to this prince's great clemency, and the care he has of his subjects' lives

(wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be mentioned

for his honour, that strict orders are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed after every such

execution, which, if his domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I myself

heard him give directions, that one of his pages should be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about

washing the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted it; by which neglect a young lord of great

hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king at that time had no design

against his life. But this good prince was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise

To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards of the throne, I raised myself gently upon

my knees, and then striking my forehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the following words,

as they had been taught me the night before, INCKPLING GLOFFTHROBB SQUUT SERUMMBLHIOP

established by the laws of the land, for all persons admitted to the king's presence. It may be rendered into

English thus: "May your celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!" To this the king returned

some answer, which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: FLUFT DRIN

YALERICK DWULDOM PRASTRAD MIRPUSH, which properly signifies, "My tongue is in the mouth of

my friend;" and by this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my interpreter; whereupon the

young man already mentioned was accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I answered as many

questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter

The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his BLIFFMARKLUB, or highchamberlain,

to appoint a lodging in the court for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table, and a large

I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his majesty; who was pleased highly to favour

me, and made me very honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and justice to pass

[The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the Struldbrugs, with many conversations

The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although they are not without some share of that

pride which is peculiar to all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers, especially

such who are countenanced by the court. I had many acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion;

and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had was not disagreeable.

One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality, "whether I had seen any of their

STRULDBRUGS, or immortals?" I said, "I had not;" and desired he would explain to me "what he meant by

such an appellation, applied to a mortal creature." He told me "that sometimes, though very rarely, a child

happened to be born in a family, with a red circular spot in the forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which

was an infallible mark that it should never die." The spot, as he described it, "was about the compass of a

silver threepence, but in the course of time grew larger, and changed its colour; for at twelve years old it

became green, so continued till five and twenty, then turned to a deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal

black, and as large as an English shilling; but never admitted any further alteration." He said, "these births

were so rare, that he did not believe there could be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the

whole kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis, and, among the rest, a young girl born;

about three years ago: that these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere effect of chance; and

the children of the STRULDBRUGS themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people."

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight, upon hearing this account: and the person

who gave it me happening to understand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could not

forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, "Happy

nation, where every child hath at least a chance for being immortal! Happy people, who enjoy so many living

examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but

happiest, beyond all comparison, are those excellent STRULDBRUGS, who, being born exempt from that

universal calamity of human nature, have their minds free and disengaged, without the weight and depression

of spirits caused by the continual apprehensions of death!" I discovered my admiration that I had not

observed any of these illustrious persons at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a

distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was impossible that his majesty, a most judicious

prince, should not provide himself with a good number of such wise and able counsellors. Yet perhaps the

virtue of those reverend sages was too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we often

find by experience, that young men are too opinionated and volatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their

seniors. However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was resolved, upon the

very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely and at large, by the help of my

interpreter; and whether he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I was determined, that his

majesty having frequently offered me an establishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness,

accept the favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior beings the STRULDBRUGS, if

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have already observed) he spoke the

language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, "that

he was glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my permission to explain to the company

what I had spoke." He did so, and they talked together for some time in their own language, whereof I

understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their countenances, what impression my discourse had

made on them. After a short silence, the same person told me, "that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to

express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious remarks I had made on the great happiness and

advantages of immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular manner, what scheme of living I

should have formed to myself, if it had fallen to my lot to have been born a STRULDBRUG."

I answered, "it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a subject, especially to me, who had been

often apt to amuse myself with visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a great lord: and

upon this very case, I had frequently run over the whole system how I should employ myself, and pass the

"That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a STRULDBRUG, as soon as I could discover

my own happiness, by understanding the difference between life and death, I would first resolve, by all arts

and methods, whatsoever, to procure myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I

might reasonably expect, in about two hundred years, to be the wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second

place, I would, from my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should

arrive in time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record every action and event of

consequence, that happened in the public, impartially draw the characters of the several successions of

princes and great ministers of state, with my own observations on every point. I would exactly set down the

several changes in customs, language, fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements, I

should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and certainly become the oracle of the nation.

"I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner, yet still on the saving side. I would

entertain myself in forming and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them, from my

own remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness of virtue

in public and private life. But my choice and constant companions should be a set of my own immortal

brotherhood; among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down to my own contemporaries.

Where any of these wanted fortunes, I would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate, and

have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of the most valuable among you mortals, whom

length of time would harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same

manner; just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without

"These STRULDBRUGS and I would mutually communicate our observations and memorials, through the

course of time; remark the several gradations by which corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in

every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to mankind; which, added to the strong influence of

our own example, would probably prevent that continual degeneracy of human nature so justly complained of

"Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of states and empires; the changes in the lower

and upper world; ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous rivers

lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming another; the discovery of

many countries yet unknown; barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous become

civilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude, the perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and

"What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by outliving and confirming our own

predictions; by observing the progress and return of comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon,

I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endless life, and sublunary happiness, could

easily furnish me with. When I had ended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as before, to the

rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among them in the language of the country, not without

some laughter at my expense. At last, the same gentleman who had been my interpreter, said, "he was desired

by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the common imbecility of human

nature, and upon that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed of STRULDBRUGS was

peculiar to their country, for there were no such people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour

to be ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives in both those kingdoms very hard to believe that

the fact was possible: and it appeared from my astonishment when he first mentioned the matter to me, that I

received it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms above mentioned,

where, during his residence, he had conversed very much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and

wish of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold back the other as strongly as he

could. That the oldest had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest evil, from

which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not

"That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of

youth, health, and vigour, which no man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in his

wishes. That the question therefore was not, whether a man would choose to be always in the prime of youth,

attended with prosperity and health; but how he would pass a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages

which old age brings along with it. For although few men will avow their desires of being immortal, upon

such hard conditions, yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed that

every man desired to put off death some time longer, let it approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any

man who died willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or torture. And he appealed to me,

whether in those countries I had travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same general

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the STRULDBRUGS among them. He said, "they

commonly acted like mortals till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees, they grew melancholy and

dejected, increasing in both till they came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for

otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, they were too few to form a

general observation by. When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this

country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from

the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain,

talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which never descended below their

grandchildren. Envy and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against which their

envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on

the former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral, they

lament and repine that others have gone to a harbour of rest to which they themselves never can hope to

arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they learned and observed in their youth and

middleage, and even that is very imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to depend

on common tradition, than upon their best recollections. The least miserable among them appear to be those

who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and assistance, because they

"If a STRULDBRUG happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is dissolved of course, by the

courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it a

reasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned, without any fault of their own, to a perpetual

continuance in the world, should not have their misery doubled by the load of a wife.

"As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are looked on as dead in law; their heirs

immediately succeed to their estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support; and the poor ones are

maintained at the public charge. After that period, they are held incapable of any employment of trust or

profit; they cannot purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be witnesses in any cause, either

"At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no distinction of taste, but eat and drink

whatever they can get, without relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue, without

increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the common appellation of things, and the names of persons,

even of those who are their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never can amuse

themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve to carry them from the beginning of a sentence

to the end; and by this defect, they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise be

The language of this country being always upon the flux, the STRULDBRUGS of one age do not understand

those of another; neither are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any conversation (farther than by a

few general words) with their neighbours the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like

This was the account given me of the STRULDBRUGS, as near as I can remember. I afterwards saw five or

six of different ages, the youngest not above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at several times

by some of my friends; but although they were told, "that I was a great traveller, and had seen all the world,"

they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question; only desired "I would give them SLUMSKUDASK," or

a token of remembrance; which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because

they are provided for by the public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance.

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and

their birth is recorded very particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the register, which,

however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or at least has been destroyed by time or public

disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or great

persons they can remember, and then consulting history; for infallibly the last prince in their mind did not

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women more horrible than the men. Besides the

usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to their number of

years, which is not to be described; and among half a dozen, I soon distinguished which was the eldest,

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen, my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was

much abated. I grew heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought no tyrant could

invent a death into which I would not run with pleasure, from such a life. The king heard of all that had

passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing I could send a

couple of STRULDBRUGS to my own country, to arm our people against the fear of death; but this, it seems,

is forbidden by the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well content with the trouble

I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the STRULDBRUGS were founded upon the

strongest reasons, and such as any other country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the like

circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of old age, those immortals would in time

become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities to manage,

[The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returns in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and

I thought this account of the STRULDBRUGS might be some entertainment to the reader, because it seems

to be a little out of the common way; at least I do not remember to have met the like in any book of travels

that has come to my hands: and if I am deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary for travellers who

describe the same country, very often to agree in dwelling on the same particulars, without deserving the

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the great empire of Japan; and it is very

probable, that the Japanese authors may have given some account of the STRULDBRUGS; but my stay in

Japan was so short, and I was so entirely a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to make any

inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and able enough to supply my defects.

His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in his court, and finding me absolutely

determined to return to my native country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and honoured me

with a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise presented me

with four hundred and fortyfour large pieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers), and a red

On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and all my friends. This prince was so

gracious as to order a guard to conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the southwest part of

the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage.

We landed at a small porttown called Xamoschi, situated on the southeast part of Japan; the town lies on

the western point, where there is a narrow strait leading northward into along arm of the sea, upon the

northwest part of which, Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing, I showed the customhouse officers my

letter from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the seal perfectly well; it was as broad

as the palm of my hand. The impression was, A KING LIFTING UP A LAME BEGGAR FROM THE

EARTH. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my letter, received me as a public minister. They provided

me with carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was admitted to an audience, and

delivered my letter, which was opened with great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an interpreter,

who then gave me notice, by his majesty's order, "that I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, it

should be granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg." This interpreter was a person employed to

transact affairs with the Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my countenance, that I was a European, and

therefore repeated his majesty's commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had

before determined, "that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote country, whence I had

travelled by sea and land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my countrymen often

traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most

humbly entreated his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to Nangasac." To this I

added another petition, "that for the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would condescend

to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on my countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix: because I

had been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any intention of trading." When this latter

petition was interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, "he believed I was the first of

my countrymen who ever made any scruple in this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real

Hollander, or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for the reasons I had offered, but

chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with the

singularity of my humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his officers should be

commanded to let me pass, as it were by forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the secret should be

discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in the voyage." I returned my thanks, by

the interpreter, for so unusual a favour; and some troops being at that time on their march to Nangasac, the

commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with particular instructions about the business of

On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and troublesome journey. I soon fell

into the company of some Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons. I

had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew

whence I came last: they were curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up a story as

short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest part. I knew many persons in Holland. I was able to

invent names for my parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I would

have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but

understanding I was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on condition that I would serve

him in the way of my calling. Before we took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether I had

performed the ceremony above mentioned? I evaded the question by general answers; "that I had satisfied the

Emperor and court in all particulars." However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an officer, and

pointing to me, told him, "I had not yet trampled on the crucifix;" but the other, who had received instructions

to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope,

where we staid only to take in fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having

lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who fell from the foremast into the sea, not far

from the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel belonging to

On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next morning, and saw once more my native country,

after an absence of five years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I arrived the same

[The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him, confine him a long time to his cabin,

and set him on shore in an unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange sort of

I continued at home with my wife and children about five months, in a very happy condition, if I could have

learned the lesson of knowing when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted an

advantageous offer made me to be captain of the Adventurer, a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I

understood navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon's employment at sea, which, however, I

could exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one Robert Purefoy, into my ship.

We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock,

of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted

from us by a storm; I heard since my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin boy. He

was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too positive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his

destruction, as it has been with several others; for if he had followed my advice, he might have been safe at

I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and

the Leeward Islands, where I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I had soon

too much cause to repent: for I found afterwards, that most of them had been buccaneers. I had fifty hands

onboard; and my orders were, that I should trade with the Indians in the SouthSea, and make what

discoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched my other men, and they all formed a

conspiracy to seize the ship, and secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and binding

me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered to stir. I told them, "I was their prisoner,

and would submit." This they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one of my

legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded

to shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own victuals and drink, and took the government of

the ship to themselves. Their design was to turn pirates and, plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do

till they got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods the ship, and then go to Madagascar for

recruits, several among them having died since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with

the Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close prisoner in my cabin, and expecting

Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin, and said, "he had orders from the

captain to set me ashore." I expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me who their

new captain was. They forced me into the longboat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which were as

good as new, and take a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they were so civil as not

to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with some other little necessaries. They

rowed about a league, and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it was. They

all swore, "they knew no more than myself;" but said, "that the captain" (as they called him) "was resolved,

after they had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they could discover land." They pushed

off immediately, advising me to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.

In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to

rest myself, and consider what I had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country,

resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, and purchase my life from them by some

bracelets, glass rings, and other toys, which sailors usually provide themselves with in those voyages, and

whereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly planted, but

naturally growing; there was great plenty of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for

fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or on either side. I fell into a beaten

road, where I saw many tracts of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld several

animals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and

deformed, which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to observe them better. Some of

them coming forward near the place where I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their form.

Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like

goats, and a long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and feet; but the rest of their

bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails, nor any

hair at all on their buttocks, except about the anus, which, I presume, nature had placed there to defend them

as they sat on the ground, for this posture they used, as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind feet.

They climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and behind,

terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious

agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long lank hair on their heads, but none on their

faces, nor any thing more than a sort of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and pudenda.

The dugs hung between their fore feet, and often reached almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of

both sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld, in all my

travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong an antipathy. So that,

thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it

might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not got far, when I met one of these creatures full in my

way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted several ways, every feature

of his visage, and stared, as at an object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up his

forepaw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good

blow with the flat side of it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be provoked

against me, if they should come to know that I had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt

the smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least forty came flocking about me from the next

field, howling and making odious faces; but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept

them off by waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, leaped up

into the tree, whence they began to discharge their excrements on my head; however, I escaped pretty well by

sticking close to the stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth, which fell about me on every side.

In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a sudden as fast as they could; at which I

ventured to leave the tree and pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into this fright. But

looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in the field; which my persecutors having sooner

discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but soon

recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens of wonder; he viewed my hands and feet,

walking round me several times. I would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way,

yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We stood gazing at each other for some

time; at last I took the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke it, using the

common style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed

to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly raising up his right forefoot

to remove my hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to

While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who applying himself to the first in a very formal

manner, they gently struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying the

sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to confer together,

walking side by side, backward and forward, like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often

turning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was amazed to see such actions

and behaviour in brute beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country were endued

with a proportionable degree of reason, they must needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave

me so much comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover some house or village, or meet with

any of the natives, leaving the two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first, who was a

dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to

understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to expect his farther commands:

but concealing my fear as much as I could, for I began to be in some pain how this adventure might

terminate; and the reader will easily believe I did not much like my present situation.

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness upon my face and hands. The gray steed

rubbed my hat all round with his right forehoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust it

better by taking it off and settling it again; whereat, both he and his companion (who was a brown bay)

appeared to be much surprised: the latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose about me,

they both looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seeming to admire the softness and

colour; but he squeezed it so hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which they

both touched me with all possible tenderness. They were under great perplexity about my shoes and

stockings, which they felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various gestures, not unlike those of a

Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at

last concluded they must needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design,

and seeing a stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselves with him; or, perhaps, were really amazed at

the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who might probably live in

so remote a climate. Upon the strength of this reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:

"Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you can understand my language; therefore

I make bold to let your worships know that I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes

upon your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back, as if he were a real horse, to some

house or village where I can be relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of this knife and

bracelet," taking them out of my pocket. The two creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with

great attention, and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if they were engaged in

serious conversation. I plainly observed that their language expressed the passions very well, and the words

might, with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the Chinese.

I could frequently distinguish the word YAHOO, which was repeated by each of them several times: and

although it was impossible for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the two horses were busy in

conversation, I endeavoured to practise this word upon my tongue; and as soon as they were silent, I boldly

pronounced YAHOO in a loud voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing of a horse; at

which they were both visibly surprised; and the gray repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach

me the right accent; wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve

every time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the bay tried me with a second word, much

harder to be pronounced; but reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt thus, HOUYHNHNM. I

did not succeed in this so well as in the former; but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune; and

After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to me, the two friends took their leaves,

with the same compliment of striking each other's hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should walk before

him; wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better director. When I offered to slacken my

pace, he would cry HHUUN HHUUN: I guessed his meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as I could,

"that I was weary, and not able to walk faster;" upon which he would stand awhile to let me rest.

[The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house described. The author's reception. The food

of the Houyhnhnms. The author in distress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His manner of feeding in this

Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of building, made of timber stuck in the ground,

and wattled across; the roof was low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little comforted; and took

out some toys, which travellers usually carry for presents to the savage Indians of America, and other parts, in

hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The horse made me a sign

to go in first; it was a large room with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger, extending the whole

length on one side. There were three nags and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon

their hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to see the rest employed in domestic

business; these seemed but ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a people who could

so far civilise brute animals, must needs excel in wisdom all the nations of the world.

The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill treatment which the others might have given me.

Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of the house, to which you passed through

three doors, opposite to each other, in the manner of a vista. We went through the second room towards the

third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited in the second room, and got ready my

presents for the master and mistress of the house; they were two knives, three bracelets of false pearls, a small

lookingglass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited to hear some answers

in a human voice, but I heard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller than

his. I began to think that this house must belong to some person of great note among them, because there

appeared so much ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a man of quality should be served all

by horses, was beyond my comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings and

misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the room where I was left alone: this was furnished like

the first, only after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same objects still occurred. I

pinched my arms and sides to awake myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded, that

all these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to pursue these

reflections; for the gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him into the third room where I

saw a very comely mare, together with a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats of straw, not

The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up close, after having nicely observed my

hands and face, gave me a most contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard the word YAHOO often

repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not then comprehend, although it was the first I

had learned to pronounce. But I was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification; for the horse,

beckoning to me with his head, and repeating the HHUUN, HHUUN, as he did upon the road, which I

understood was to attend him, led me out into a kind of court, where was another building, at some distance

from the house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable creatures, which I first met after my

landing, feeding upon roots, and the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that of asses and

dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or disease. They were all tied by the neck with strong withes

fastened to a beam; they held their food between the claws of their fore feet, and tore it with their teeth.

The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie the largest of these animals, and take him

into the yard. The beast and I were brought close together, and by our countenances diligently compared both

by master and servant, who thereupon repeated several times the word YAHOO. My horror and astonishment

are not to be described, when I observed in this abominable animal, a perfect human figure: the face of it

indeed was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and the mouth wide; but these differences are

common to all savage nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted, by the natives suffering

their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face against

the mothers' shoulders. The forefeet of the YAHOO differed from my hands in nothing else but the length

of the nails, the coarseness and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs. There was the same

resemblance between our feet, with the same differences; which I knew very well, though the horses did not,

because of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our bodies except as to hairiness and colour,

The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was to see the rest of my body so very different

from that of a YAHOO, for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The sorrel

nag offered me a root, which he held (after their manner, as we shall describe in its proper place) between his

hoof and pastern; I took it in my hand, and, having smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He

brought out of the YAHOOS' kennel a piece of ass's flesh; but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it

with loathing: he then threw it to the YAHOO, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards showed me

a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of these were food for

me. And indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own species;

for as to those filthy YAHOOS, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at that time than myself,

yet I confess I never saw any sensitive being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I came near them the

more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country. This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and

therefore sent the YAHOO back to his kennel. He then put his forehoof to his mouth, at which I was much

surprised, although he did it with ease, and with a motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made other

signs, to know what I would eat; but I could not return him such an answer as he was able to apprehend; and

if he had understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any way for finding myself

nourishment. While we were thus engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, and

expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect; for he led me back into the house, and ordered a

mareservant to open a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden vessels, after a very

orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself

About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like a sledge by four YAHOOS. There

was in it an old steed, who seemed to be of quality; he alighted with his hindfeet forward, having by

accident got a hurt in his left forefoot. He came to dine with our horse, who received him with great civility.

They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second course, which the old horse ate warm,

but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and divided into several

partitions, round which they sat on their haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large rack, with

angles answering to every partition of the manger; so that each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their

own mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the young colt and foal

appeared very modest, and that of the master and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest.

The gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed between him and his friend concerning me,

as I found by the stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the word YAHOO.

I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing, seemed perplexed, discovering signs of

wonder what I had done to my forefeet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify,

that I should reduce them to their former shape, which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting

them into my pocket. This occasioned farther talk; and I saw the company was pleased with my behaviour,

whereof I soon found the good effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I understood; and while they

were at dinner, the master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others, which I could

readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a great facility in learning languages.

When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs and words made me understand the

concern he was in that I had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are called HLUNNH. This word I

pronounced two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet, upon second thoughts, I

considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to

keep me alive, till I could make my escape to some other country, and to creatures of my own species. The

horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of his family to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of

wooden tray. These I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the husks came off, which

I made a shift to winnow from the grain. I ground and beat them between two stones; then took water, and

made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat warm with milk. It was at first a very

insipid diet, though common enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and having been

often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the first experiment I had made how easily nature is

satisfied. And I cannot but observe, that I never had one hours sickness while I stayed in this island. It is true,

I sometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit, or bird, by springs made of YAHOO'S hairs; and I often gathered

wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made a

little butter, and drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom soon reconciled me to the

want of it; and I am confident that the frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first

introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it is necessary for preserving flesh in long voyages,

or in places remote from great markets; for we observe no animal to be fond of it but man, and as to myself,

when I left this country, it was a great while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I ate.

This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other travellers fill their books, as if the readers

were personally concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this matter, lest

the world should think it impossible that I could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and among

When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for me to lodge in; it was but six yards from

the house and separated from the stable of the YAHOOS. Here I got some straw, and covering myself with

my own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a short time better accommodated, as the reader shall know

[The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his master, assists in teaching him. The language

described. Several Houyhnhnms of quality come out of curiosity to see the author. He gives his master a short

My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my master (for so I shall henceforth call him), and

his children, and every servant of his house, were desirous to teach me; for they looked upon it as a prodigy,

that a brute animal should discover such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to every thing, and inquired

the name of it, which I wrote down in my journalbook when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent by

desiring those of the family to pronounce it often. In this employment, a sorrel nag, one of the

In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and their language approaches nearest to the

HighDutch, or German, of any I know in Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The emperor

Charles V. made almost the same observation, when he said "that if he were to speak to his horse, it should be

The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he spent many hours of his leisure to instruct

me. He was convinced (as he afterwards told me) that I must be a YAHOO; but my teachableness, civility,

and cleanliness, astonished him; which were qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He was most

perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they were a part of my body: for I

never pulled them off till the family were asleep, and got them on before they waked in the morning. My

master was eager to learn "whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of reason, which I discovered in

all my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth, which he hoped he should soon do by the great

proficiency I made in learning and pronouncing their words and sentences." To help my memory, I formed all

I learned into the English alphabet, and writ the words down, with the translations. This last, after some time,

I ventured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble to explain to him what I was doing; for the

In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his questions; and in three months, could give him

some tolerable answers. He was extremely curious to know "from what part of the country I came, and how I

was taught to imitate a rational creature; because the YAHOOS (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my

head, hands, and face, that were only visible), with some appearance of cunning, and the strongest disposition

to mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes." I answered, "that I came over the sea,

from a far place, with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the bodies of trees: that

my companions forced me to land on this coast, and then left me to shift for myself." It was with some

difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to understand me. He replied, "that I must needs

be mistaken, or that I said the thing which was not;" for they have no word in their language to express lying

or falsehood. "He knew it was impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcel of

brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased upon water. He was sure no HOUYHNHNM alive

The word HOUYHNHNM, in their tongue, signifies a HORSE, and, in its etymology, the PERFECTION OF

NATURE. I told my master, "that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and

hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell him wonders." He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt,

and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of instructing me; and every day, for two or

three hours, he was at the same pains himself. Several horses and mares of quality in the neighbourhood came

often to our house, upon the report spread of "a wonderful YAHOO, that could speak like a HOUYHNHNM,

and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some glimmerings of reason." These delighted to converse

with me: they put many questions, and received such answers as I was able to return. By all these advantages

I made so great a progress, that, in five months from my arrival I understood whatever was spoken, and could

The HOUYHNHNMS, who came to visit my master out of a design of seeing and talking with me, could

hardly believe me to be a right YAHOO, because my body had a different covering from others of my kind.

They were astonished to observe me without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands; but I

discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which happened about a fortnight before.

I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip,

and cover myself with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master sent for me by the sorrel

nag, who was his valet. When he came I was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt

above my waist. I awaked at the noise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some disorder;

after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave him a very confused account of what he had

seen. This I presently discovered, for, going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour,

he asked me "the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I was not the same thing when I slept, as I

appeared to be at other times; that his vale assured him, some part of me was white, some yellow, at least not

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that

cursed race of YAHOOS; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my

clothes and shoes would soon wear out, which already were in a declining condition, and must be supplied by

some contrivance from the hides of YAHOOS, or other brutes; whereby the whole secret would be known. I

therefore told my master, "that in the country whence I came, those of my kind always covered their bodies

with the hairs of certain animals prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both

hot and cold; of which, as to my own person, I would give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to

command me: only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature taught us to conceal." He

said, "my discourse was all very strange, but especially the last part; for he could not understand, why nature

should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts

of their bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased." Whereupon I first unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it

off. I did the same with my waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my shirt down to my

waist, and drew up the bottom; fastening it like a girdle about my middle, to hide my nakedness.

My master observed the whole performance with great signs of curiosity and admiration. He took up all my

clothes in his pastern, one piece after another, and examined them diligently; he then stroked my body very

gently, and looked round me several times; after which, he said, it was plain I must be a perfect YAHOO; but

that I differed very much from the rest of my species in the softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin;

my want of hair in several parts of my body; the shape and shortness of my claws behind and before; and my

affectation of walking continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave to

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of YAHOO, an odious animal, for which

I had so utter a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and make the same

order in his family and among his friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, "that the secret

of my having a false covering to my body, might be known to none but himself, at least as long as my present

clothing should last; for as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his honour might command him to

All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the secret was kept till my clothes began to wear

out, which I was forced to supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the meantime,

he desired "I would go on with my utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was more astonished

at my capacity for speech and reason, than at the figure of my body, whether it were covered or not;" adding,

"that he waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which I promised to tell him."

Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me: he brought me into all company, and made

them treat me with civility; "because," as he told them, privately, "this would put me into good humour, and

Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in teaching, he would ask me several questions

concerning myself, which I answered as well as I could, and by these means he had already received some

general ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I advanced to a

more regular conversation; but the first account I gave of myself in any order and length was to this purpose:

"That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to tell him, with about fifty more of my own

species; that we travelled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than his honour's

house. I described the ship to him in the best terms I could, and explained, by the help of my handkerchief

displayed, how it was driven forward by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this

coast, where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till he delivered me from the persecution of those

execrable YAHOOS." He asked me, "who made the ship, and how it was possible that the HOUYHNHNMS

of my country would leave it to the management of brutes?" My answer was, "that I durst proceed no further

in my relation, unless he would give me his word and honour that he would not be offended, and then I would

tell him the wonders I had so often promised." He agreed; and I went on by assuring him, that the ship was

made by creatures like myself; who, in all the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the only

governing rational animals; and that upon my arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the

HOUYHNHNMS act like rational beings, as he, or his friends, could be, in finding some marks of reason in a

creature he was pleased to call a YAHOO; to which I owned my resemblance in every part, but could not

account for their degenerate and brutal nature. I said farther, "that if good fortune ever restored me to my

native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do, everybody would believe, that I said the thing

that was not, that I invented the story out of my own head; and (with all possible respect to himself, his

family, and friends, and under his promise of not being offended) our countrymen would hardly think it

probable that a HOUYHNHNM should be the presiding creature of a nation, and a YAHOO the brute."

[The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's discourse disapproved by his master. The

author gives a more particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.]

My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his countenance; because doubting, or not

believing, are so little known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under

such circumstances. And I remember, in frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of

manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of lying and false representation, it was with

much difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he had otherwise a most acute judgment. For

he argued thus: "that the use of speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive information of

facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends were defeated, because I cannot properly be

said to understand him; and I am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me worse than in

ignorance; for I am led to believe a thing black, when it is white, and short, when it is long." And these were

all the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly well understood, and so universally

To return from this digression. When I asserted that the YAHOOS were the only governing animals in my

country, which my master said was altogether past his conception, he desired to know, "whether we had

HOUYHNHNMS among us, and what was their employment?" I told him, "we had great numbers; that in

summer they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses with hay and oats, where YAHOO

servants were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with food,

and make their beds." "I understand you well," said my master: "it is now very plain, from all you have

spoken, that whatever share of reason the YAHOOS pretend to, the HOUYHNHNMS are your masters; I

heartily wish our YAHOOS would be so tractable." I begged "his honour would please to excuse me from

proceeding any further, because I was very certain that the account he expected from me would be highly

displeasing." But he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and the worst.

I told him "he should be obeyed." I owned "that the HOUYHNHNMS among us, whom we called horses,

were the most generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in strength and swiftness; and when

they belonged to persons of quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots; they were

treated with much kindness and care, till they fell into diseases, or became foundered in the feet; but then they

were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery till they died; after which their skins were stripped, and sold for

what they were worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the common race of

horses had not so good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to

greater labour, and fed them worse." I described, as well as I could, our way of riding; the shape and use of a

bridle, a saddle, a spur, and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added, "that we fastened plates of a certain hard

substance, called iron, at the bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by the stony

My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered "how we dared to venture upon a

HOUYHNHNM'S back; for he was sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to shake off the

strongest YAHOO; or by lying down and rolling on his back, squeeze the brute to death." I answered "that

our horses were trained up, from three or four years old, to the several uses we intended them for; that if any

of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for carriages; that they were severely beaten, while

they were young, for any mischievous tricks; that the males, designed for the common use of riding or

draught, were generally castrated about two years after their birth, to take down their spirits, and make them

more tame and gentle; that they were indeed sensible of rewards and punishments; but his honour would

please to consider, that they had not the least tincture of reason, any more than the YAHOOS in this country."

It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master a right idea of what I spoke; for their

language does not abound in variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than among us. But

it is impossible to express his noble resentment at our savage treatment of the HOUYHNHNM race;

particularly after I had explained the manner and use of castrating horses among us, to hinder them from

propagating their kind, and to render them more servile. He said, "if it were possible there could be any

country where YAHOOS alone were endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal;

because reason in time will always prevail against brutal strength. But, considering the frame of our bodies,

and especially of mine, he thought no creature of equal bulk was so illcontrived for employing that reason in

the common offices of life;" whereupon he desired to know whether those among whom I lived resembled

me, or the YAHOOS of his country?" I assured him, "that I was as well shaped as most of my age; but the

younger, and the females, were much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as white as

milk." He said, "I differed indeed from other YAHOOS, being much more cleanly, and not altogether so

deformed; but, in point of real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that my nails were of no use

either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my fore feet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he never

observed me to walk upon them; that they were too soft to bear the ground; that I generally went with them

uncovered; neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or so strong as that on my

feet behind: that I could not walk with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably

fail." He then began to find fault with other parts of my body: "the flatness of my face, the prominence of my

nose, mine eyes placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side without turning my head: that I

was not able to feed myself, without lifting one of my forefeet to my mouth: and therefore nature had placed

those joints to answer that necessity. He knew not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions

in my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and sharpness of stones, without a covering

made from the skin of some other brute; that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold, which I

was forced to put on and off every day, with tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every

animal in this country naturally to abhor the YAHOOS, whom the weaker avoided, and the stronger drove

from them. So that, supposing us to have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that

natural antipathy, which every creature discovered against us; nor consequently how we could tame and

render them serviceable. However, he would," as he said, "debate the matter no farther, because he was more

desirous to know my own story, the country where I was born, and the several actions and events of my life,

I assured him, "how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied on every point; but I doubted much,

whether it would be possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his honour could have no

conception; because I saw nothing in his country to which I could resemble them; that, however, I would do

my best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly desiring his assistance when I wanted proper

I said, "my birth was of honest parents, in an island called England; which was remote from his country, as

many days' journey as the strongest of his honour's servants could travel in the annual course of the sun; that I

was bred a surgeon, whose trade it is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or violence;

that my country was governed by a female man, whom we called queen; that I left it to get riches, whereby I

might maintain myself and family, when I should return; that, in my last voyage, I was commander of the

ship, and had about fifty YAHOOS under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced to supply them by

others picked out from several nations; that our ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a

great storm, and the second by striking against a rock." Here my master interposed, by asking me, "how I

could persuade strangers, out of different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had sustained, and

the hazards I had run?" I said, "they were fellows of desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their

birth on account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits; others spent all they had in

drinking, whoring, and gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery, perjury,

forgery, coining false money, for committing rapes, or sodomy; for flying from their colours, or deserting to

the enemy; and most of them had broken prison; none of these durst return to their native countries, for fear

of being hanged, or of starving in a jail; and therefore they were under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in

During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me several times. I had made use of many

circumlocutions in describing to him the nature of the several crimes for which most of our crew had been

forced to fly their country. This labour took up several days' conversation, before he was able to comprehend

me. He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To clear up

which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and riches; of the terrible effects of lust,

intemperance, malice, and envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and making

suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination was struck with something never seen or heard of

before, he would lift up his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law, punishment,

and a thousand other things, had no terms wherein that language could express them, which made the

difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master any conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent

understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse, he at last arrived at a competent knowledge

of what human nature, in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I would give him some

particular account of that land which we call Europe, but especially of my own country.

[The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of England. The causes of war among the

The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of many conversations I had with my master,

contains a summary of the most material points which were discoursed at several times for above two years;

his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as I farther improved in the HOUYHNHNM tongue. I laid before

him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of trade and manufactures, of arts and

sciences; and the answers I gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a

fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the substance of what passed

between us concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can, without any regard to time or

other circumstances, while I strictly adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do

justice to my master's arguments and expressions, which must needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as

In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to him the Revolution under the Prince of

Orange; the long war with France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the present

queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I computed, at

his request, "that about a million of YAHOOS might have been killed in the whole progress of it; and perhaps

He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another?" I

answered "they were innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of

princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of ministers,

who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil

administration. Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread,

or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice or a

virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether

black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with many

Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those occasioned by difference in

"Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them shall dispossess a third of his

dominions, where neither of them pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for fear

the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong; and

sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or have the

things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a

war, to invade a country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or embroiled

by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into war against our nearest ally, when one of his

towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our dominions round and complete. If a

prince sends forces into a nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to

death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It

is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires the assistance of another, to

secure him against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the invader, should seize on the

dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or

marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their

disposition to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be

at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a

soldier is a YAHOO hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him,

"There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able to make war by themselves, who hire out

their troops to richer nations, for so much a day to each man; of which they keep threefourths to themselves,

and it is the best part of their maintenance: such are those in many northern parts of Europe."

"What you have told me," said my master, "upon the subject of war, does indeed discover most admirably the

effects of that reason you pretend to: however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger; and that

nature has left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For, your mouths lying flat with your faces, you

can hardly bite each other to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and

behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our YAHOOS would drive a dozen of yours before him. And

therefore, in recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I cannot but think you have said

I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of

war, I gave him a description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords,

bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk

with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise,

confusion, trampling to death under horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases, left for

food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to

set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, "that I had seen them blow up a hundred

enemies at once in a siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop down in pieces from the

I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me silence. He said, "whoever understood

the nature of YAHOOS, might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every action I

had named, if their strength and cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased his

abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a

He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less

detestation: that although he hated the YAHOOS of this country, yet he no more blamed them for their

odious qualities, than he did a GNNAYH (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof.

But when a creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption

of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of reason we

were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled

stream returns the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but more distorted."

He added, "that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both in this and some former discourses.

There was another point, which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some of our crew

left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word;

but he was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man's

preservation, should be any man's ruin. Therefore he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law, and

the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my own country; because he thought nature and

reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in showing us what he ought to

I assured his honour, "that the law was a science in which I had not much conversed, further than by

employing advocates, in vain, upon some injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all the

I said, "there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving, by words

multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this society

all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to

prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it being against all

rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right

owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in

defending falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an advocate for justice, which is an

unnatural office he always attempts with great awkwardness, if not with illwill. The second disadvantage is,

that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred

by his brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And therefore I have but two methods to

preserve my cow. The first is, to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray his

client by insinuating that he hath justice on his side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause

appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done,

will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that these judges are persons

appointed to decide all controversies of property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from the

most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy; and having been biassed all their lives against truth and

equity, lie under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppression, that I have known some of

them refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by doing any thing

"It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done before, may legally be done again: and

therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice, and the

general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the

"In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in

dwelling upon all circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the case already mentioned;

they never desire to know what claim or title my adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red

or black; her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or square; whether she was milked

at home or abroad; what diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn

the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue.

"It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other

mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply;

whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it

will take thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for six generations belongs to me,

"In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the method is much more short and

commendable: the judge first sends to sound the disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang

Here my master interposing, said, "it was a pity, that creatures endowed with such prodigious abilities of

mind, as these lawyers, by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be

instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge." In answer to which I assured his honour, "that in all points

out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the most

despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to

pervert the general reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse as in that of their own profession."

[A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The character of a first minister of state in

My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could incite this race of lawyers to perplex,

disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of injuring their

fellowanimals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was

at much pains to describe to him the use of money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals;

"that when a YAHOO had got a great store of this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he

had a mind to; the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most costly meats and drinks,

and have his choice of the most beautiful females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these

feats, our YAHOOS thought they could never have enough of it to spend, or to save, as they found

themselves inclined, from their natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man enjoyed the fruit

of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of

our people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to make a few live

I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the same purpose; but his honour was still to

seek; for he went upon a supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the productions of the earth,

and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, "what these

costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?" Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as

came into my head, with the various methods of dressing them, which could not be done without sending

vessels by sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innumerable other

conveniences. I assured him "that this whole globe of earth must be at least three times gone round before one

of our better female YAHOOS could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in." He said "that must needs be a

miserable country which cannot furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was,

how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the

necessity of sending over the sea for drink." I replied "that England (the dear place of my nativity) was

computed to produce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as

liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain trees, which made excellent drink, and the

same proportion in every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury and intemperance of the

males, and the vanity of the females, we sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries,

whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it

follows of necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging,

robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, fawning,

hectoring, voting, scribbling, stargazing, poisoning, whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like

occupations:" every one of which terms I was at much pains to make him understand.

"That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply the want of water or other drinks,

but because it was a sort of liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted all

melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our

fears, suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we fell into a

profound sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and dispirited; and that the use of

this liquor filled us with diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short.

"But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by furnishing the necessities or

conveniences of life to the rich and to each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to

be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house

I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their livelihood by attending the sick, having,

upon some occasions, informed his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it was with

the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. "He could easily conceive, that a

HOUYHNHNM, grew weak and heavy a few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a limb;

but that nature, who works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought

I told him "we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to each other; that we ate when we were not

hungry, and drank without the provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong liquors, without

eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion; that

prostitute female YAHOOS acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of those who fell

into their embraces; that this, and many other diseases, were propagated from father to son; so that great

numbers came into the world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would be endless to give him a

catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred,

spread over every limb and joint in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases appropriated to

itself. To remedy which, there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or pretence, of curing

the sick. And because I had some skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the

"Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of

the body is necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next business is from

herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, frogs,

spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and taste, the

most abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately

rejects with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the same storehouse, with some other

poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orifice above or below (just as the physician then

happens to be disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxing the belly,

drives down all before it; and this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians allege) having

intended the superior anterior orifice only for the intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior

for ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases nature is forced out of her seat, therefore,

to replace her in it, the body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by interchanging the use of each

orifice; forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.

"But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary, for which the physicians have

invented imaginary cures; these have their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them; and

"One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics, wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in

real diseases, when they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is always in their

power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after they have

pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity

"They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons,

I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the nature of government in general, and

particularly of our own excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But

having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him,

I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was the person I intended to describe, was the creature

wholly exempt from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no other passions,

but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication

of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie; nor a lie, but with a

design that you should take it for a truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in the surest

way of preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day

forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an oath; after

"There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief minister. The first is, by knowing how, with

prudence, to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining his

predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public assemblies, against the corruption's of the court. But

a wise prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the last of these methods; because such

zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the will and passions of their master. That these

ministers, having all employments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the majority of

a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act of indemnity" (whereof I described the

nature to him), "they secure themselves from afterreckonings, and retire from the public laden with the

"The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and

porters, by imitating their master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and learn to excel in the

three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to

them by persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of dexterity and impudence, arrive, through

"He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman, who are the tunnels through which all

graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom."

One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility of my country, was pleased to make

me a compliment which I could not pretend to deserve: "that he was sure I must have been born of some

noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the YAHOOS of his nation,

although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from

those other brutes; and besides I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but likewise with some

rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy."

He made me observe, "that among the HOUYHNHNMS, the white, the sorrel, and the irongray, were not so

exactly shaped as the bay, the dapplegray, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or a capacity

to improve them; and therefore continued always in the condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match

out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural."

I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me,

but assured him at the same time, "that my birth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain honest

parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education; that nobility, among us, was altogether a

different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in idleness

and luxury; that, as soon as years will permit, they consume their vigour, and contract odious diseases among

lewd females; and when their fortunes are almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth,

disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of money), whom they hate and despise.

That the productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or deformed children; by which

means the family seldom continues above three generations, unless the wife takes care to provide a healthy

father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak diseased

body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust

appearance is so disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have been a groom

or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run parallel with those of his body, being a composition of

"Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles

[The author's great love of his native country. His master's observations upon the constitution and

administration of England, as described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons. His master's

The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to give so free a representation of my

own species, among a race of mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of humankind,

from that entire congruity between me and their YAHOOS. But I must freely confess, that the many virtues

of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and

enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of man in a very different light, and

to think the honour of my own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to do,

before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself,

whereof I had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would never be numbered even among

human infirmities. I had likewise learned, from his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or disguise;

and truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it.

Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was yet a much stronger motive for the

freedom I took in my representation of things. I had not yet been a year in this country before I contracted

such a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I entered on a firm resolution never to return to

humankind, but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable HOUYHNHNMS, in the contemplation

and practice of every virtue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by

fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some

comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so

strict an examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the matter would bear. For, indeed,

who is there alive that will not be swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth?

I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my master during the greatest part of the time

I had the honour to be in his service; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much more than is here set

When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one

morning early, and commanded me to sit down at some distance (an honour which he had never before

conferred upon me). He said, "he had been very seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related both

to myself and my country; that he looked upon us as a sort of animals, to whose share, by what accident he

could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we made no other use, than by its

assistance, to aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given us; that

we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our

original wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to supply them by our own

inventions; that, as to myself, it was manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common YAHOO;

that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence,

and to remove the hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather: lastly,

that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my brethren," as he called them, "the YAHOOS in his

"That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to our gross defects in reason, and by

consequence in virtue; because reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was, therefore, a

character we had no pretence to challenge, even from the account I had given of my own people; although he

manifestly perceived, that, in order to favour them, I had concealed many particulars, and often said the thing

"He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he observed, that as I agreed in every feature of my

body with other YAHOOS, except where it was to my real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and

activity, the shortness of my claws, and some other particulars where nature had no part; so from the

representation I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in

the disposition of our minds." He said, "the YAHOOS were known to hate one another, more than they did

any different species of animals; and the reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes,

which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to

cover our bodies, and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each other, which would else

be hardly supportable. But he now found he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in his

country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had described them. For if," said he, "you throw among

five YAHOOS as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall

together by the ears, each single one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was usually

employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a distance from

each other: that if a cow died of age or accident, before a HOUYHNHNM could secure it for his own

YAHOOS, those in the neighbourhood would come in herds to seize it, and then would ensue such a battle as

I had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws on both sides, although they seldom were able to

kill one another, for want of such convenient instruments of death as we had invented. At other times, the like

battles have been fought between the YAHOOS of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause; those

of one district watching all opportunities to surprise the next, before they are prepared. But if they find their

project has miscarried, they return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in what I call a civil war among

"That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones of several colours, whereof the YAHOOS

are violently fond: and when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they will dig

with their claws for whole days to get them out; then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their

kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their treasure." My

master said, "he could never discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of

any use to a YAHOO; but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice which I had

ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from

the place where one of his YAHOOS had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his

loud lamenting brought the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the

rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey

the stones into the same hole, and hide them as before; which, when his YAHOO had found, he presently

recovered his spirits and good humour, but took good care to remove them to a better hiding place, and has

My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, "that in the fields where the shining stones

abound, the fiercest and most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighbouring

He said, "it was common, when two YAHOOS discovered such a stone in a field, and were contending which

of them should be the proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry it away from them both;" which

my master would needs contend to have some kind of resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I thought it

for our credit not to undeceive him; since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many

decrees among us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside the stone they contended for:

whereas our courts of equity would never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had any thing left.

My master, continuing his discourse, said, "there was nothing that rendered the YAHOOS more odious, than

their undistinguishing appetite to devour every thing that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the

corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder

of what they could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than much better food provided for them at

home. If their prey held out, they would eat till they were ready to burst; after which, nature had pointed out

"There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare and difficult to be found, which the

YAHOOS sought for with much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced in them the

same effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, and sometimes tear one another;

they would howl, and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud."

I did indeed observe that the YAHOOS were the only animals in this country subject to any diseases; which,

however, were much fewer than horses have among us, and contracted, not by any illtreatment they meet

with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute. Neither has their language any more than a

general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from the name of the beast, and called

HNEAYAHOO, or YAHOO'S EVIL; and the cure prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and urine,

forcibly put down the YAHOO'S throat. This I have since often known to have been taken with success, and

do here freely recommend it to my countrymen for the public good, as an admirable specific against all

"As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like," my master confessed, "he could find little or

no resemblance between the YAHOOS of that country and those in ours; for he only meant to observe what

parity there was in our natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious HOUYHNHNMS observe, that in most

herds there was a sort of ruling YAHOO (as among us there is generally some leading or principal stag in a

park), who was always more deformed in body, and mischievous in disposition, than any of the rest; that this

leader had usually a favourite as like himself as he could get, whose employment was to lick his master's feet

and posteriors, and drive the female YAHOOS to his kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a

piece of ass's flesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and therefore, to protect himself, keeps always

near the person of his leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can be found; but the very moment he

is discarded, his successor, at the head of all the YAHOOS in that district, young and old, male and female,

come in a body, and discharge their excrements upon him from head to foot. But how far this might be

applicable to our courts, and favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best determine."

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased human understanding below the sagacity

of a common hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the

My master told me, "there were some qualities remarkable in the YAHOOS, which he had not observed me

to mention, or at least very slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind." He said, "those animals, like

other brutes, had their females in common; but in this they differed, that the she YAHOO would admit the

males while she was pregnant; and that the hes would quarrel and fight with the females, as fiercely as with

each other; both which practices were such degrees of infamous brutality, as no other sensitive creature ever

"Another thing he wondered at in the YAHOOS, was their strange disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas

there appears to be a natural love of cleanliness in all other animals." As to the two former accusations, I was

glad to let them pass without any reply, because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my

species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated

humankind from the imputation of singularity upon the last article, if there had been any swine in that

country (as unluckily for me there were not), which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a YAHOO,

cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more cleanliness; and so his honour himself must have

owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleeping in the mud.

My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had discovered in several Yahoos, and to

him was wholly unaccountable. He said, "a fancy would sometimes take a YAHOO to retire into a corner, to

lie down, and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young and fat,

wanted neither food nor water, nor did the servant imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy

they found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would infallibly come to himself." To this I was silent

out of partiality to my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which only seizes

on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich; who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would

His honour had further observed, "that a female YAHOO would often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze

on the young males passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at which

time it was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and when any of the males advanced, would slowly

retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient place, where she

"At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four of her own sex would get about her, and

stare, and chatter, and grin, and smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed to express

Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which he had drawn from what he observed

himself, or had been told him by others; however, I could not reflect without some amazement, and much

sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal, should have place by instinct in

I expected every moment that my master would accuse the YAHOOS of those unnatural appetites in both

sexes, so common among us. But nature, it seems, has not been so expert a schoolmistress; and these politer

pleasures are entirely the productions of art and reason on our side of the globe.

[The author relates several particulars of the YAHOOS. The great virtues of the HOUYHNHNMS. The

As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I supposed it possible for my master to do, so it

was easy to apply the character he gave of the YAHOOS to myself and my countrymen; and I believed I

could yet make further discoveries, from my own observation. I therefore often begged his honour to let me

go among the herds of YAHOOS in the neighbourhood; to which he always very graciously consented, being

perfectly convinced that the hatred I bore these brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his

honour ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and goodnatured, to be my guard;

without whose protection I durst not undertake such adventures. For I have already told the reader how much

I was pestered by these odious animals, upon my first arrival; and I afterwards failed very narrowly, three or

four times, of falling into their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without my hanger. And I

have reason to believe they had some imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted

myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms and breasts in their sight, when my protector

was with me. At which times they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my actions after the

manner of monkeys, but ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is always

They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once caught a young male of three years old,

and endeavoured, by all marks of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a squalling, and

scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was forced to let it go; and it was high time, for a whole troop

of old ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my sorrel nag being

by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the young animal's flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was

somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance (and

perhaps I might have the reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that while I held the odious vermin in my

hands, it voided its filthy excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over my clothes; but by good fortune

there was a small brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come into

By what I could discover, the YAHOOS appear to be the most unteachable of all animals: their capacity

never reaching higher than to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect arises chiefly from a

perverse, restive disposition; for they are cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong

and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the

red haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in

The HOUYHNHNMS keep the YAHOOS for present use in huts not far from the house; but the rest are sent

abroad to certain fields, where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and search about for carrion, or

sometimes catch weasels and LUHIMUHS (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour. Nature has taught

them to dig deep holes with their nails on the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves; only the

They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue long under water, where they often take

fish, which the females carry home to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the reader will pardon my

Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let

me bathe in a river that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and went

down softly into the stream. It happened that a young female YAHOO, standing behind a bank, saw the

whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all speed, and

leaped into the water, within five yards of the place where I bathed. I was never in my life so terribly

frightened. The nag was grazing at some distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most

fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted

her grasp, with the utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood gazing and

This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well as of mortification to myself. For now I

could no longer deny that I was a real YAHOO in every limb and feature, since the females had a natural

propensity to me, as one of their own species. Neither was the hair of this brute of a red colour (which might

have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular), but black as a sloe, and her countenance did not

make an appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind; for I think she could not be above eleven

Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will expect that I should, like other travellers,

give him some account of the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal study

As these noble HOUYHNHNMS are endowed by nature with a general disposition to all virtues, and have no

conceptions or ideas of what is evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to cultivate reason, and to

be wholly governed by it. Neither is reason among them a point problematical, as with us, where men can

argue with plausibility on both sides of the question, but strikes you with immediate conviction; as it must

needs do, where it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured, by passion and interest. I remember it was with

extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, or how a

point could be disputable; because reason taught us to affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond

our knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and positiveness, in false or

dubious propositions, are evils unknown among the HOUYHNHNMS. In the like manner, when I used to

explain to him our several systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh, "that a creature pretending to

reason, should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's conjectures, and in things where that

knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no use." Wherein he agreed entirely with the sentiments of

Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers

I have often since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make in the libraries of Europe; and how

Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the HOUYHNHNMS; and these not

confined to particular objects, but universal to the whole race; for a stranger from the remotest part is equally

treated with the nearest neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They preserve

decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondness

for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason.

And I observed my master to show the same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had for his own. They

will have it that nature teaches them to love the whole species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction

When the matron HOUYHNHNMS have produced one of each sex, they no longer accompany with their

consorts, except they lose one of their issue by some casualty, which very seldom happens; but in such a case

they meet again; or when the like accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other couple

bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together again until the mother is pregnant. This caution is

necessary, to prevent the country from being overburdened with numbers. But the race of inferior

HOUYHNHNMS, bred up to be servants, is not so strictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to

In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours as will not make any disagreeable mixture

in the breed. Strength is chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not upon the account of

love, but to preserve the race from degenerating; for where a female happens to excel in strength, a consort is

Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in their thoughts, or terms whereby to express

them in their language. The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the determination of their

parents and friends; it is what they see done every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary actions

of a reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or any other unchastity, was never heard of; and the

married pair pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual benevolence, that they bear to all others of

the same species who come in their way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.

In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, and highly deserves our imitation. These are

not suffered to taste a grain of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor milk, but very rarely;

and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and as many in the evening, which their parents likewise

observe; but the servants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part of their grass is brought home,

which they eat at the most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.

Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons equally enjoined to the young ones of both

sexes: and my master thought it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of education from the

males, except in some articles of domestic management; whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our

natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the world; and to trust the care of our children to

But the HOUYHNHNMS train up their youth to strength, speed, and hardiness, by exercising them in

running races up and down steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat, they are

ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or river. Four times a year the youth of a certain district meet

to show their proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of strength and agility; where the victor is

rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of YAHOOS into the

field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a repast to the HOUYHNHNMS; after which, these brutes are

Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative council of the whole nation, which meets in

a plain about twenty miles from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here they inquire into the

state and condition of the several districts; whether they abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or

YAHOOS; and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous

consent and contribution. Here likewise the regulation of children is settled: as for instance, if a

HOUYHNHNM has two males, he changes one of them with another that has two females; and when a child

has been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is determined what family in the district

[A grand debate at the general assembly of the HOUYHNHNMS, and how it was determined. The learning of

the HOUYHNHNMS. Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The defectiveness of their language.]

One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three months before my departure, whither my

master went as the representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old debate, and indeed the

only debate that ever happened in their country; whereof my master, after his return, give me a very particular

The question to be debated was, "whether the YAHOOS should be exterminated from the face of the earth?"

One of the members for the affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and weight, alleging, "that

as the YAHOOS were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed animals which nature ever produced, so they

were the most restive and indocible, mischievous and malicious; they would privately suck the teats of the

HOUYHNHNMS' cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down their oats and grass, if they were not

continually watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies." He took notice of a general tradition,

"that YAHOOS had not been always in their country; but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared

together upon a mountain; whether produced by the heat of the sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from

the ooze and froth of the sea, was never known; that these YAHOOS engendered, and their brood, in a short

time, grew so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole nation; that the HOUYHNHNMS, to get rid of

this evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole herd; and destroying the elder, every

HOUYHNHNM kept two young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of tameness, as an

animal, so savage by nature, can be capable of acquiring, using them for draught and carriage; that there

seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could not be YINHNIAMSHY (or

ABORIGINES of the land), because of the violent hatred the HOUYHNHNMS, as well as all other animals,

bore them, which, although their evil disposition sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so high a

degree if they had been ABORIGINES, or else they would have long since been rooted out; that the

inhabitants, taking a fancy to use the service of the YAHOOS, had, very imprudently, neglected to cultivate

the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive

smell, strong enough for labour, although they yield to the other in agility of body, and if their braying be no

Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when my master proposed an expedient to the

assembly, whereof he had indeed borrowed the hint from me. "He approved of the tradition mentioned by the

honourable member who spoke before, and affirmed, that the two YAHOOS said to be seen first among

them, had been driven thither over the sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by their companions, they

retired to the mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in process of time much more savage than

those of their own species in the country whence these two originals came. The reason of this assertion was,

that he had now in his possession a certain wonderful YAHOO (meaning myself) which most of them had

heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them how he first found me; that my body was all

covered with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of other animals; that I spoke in a language of my

own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I had related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that

when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact YAHOO in every part, only of a whiter colour, less

hairy, and with shorter claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in my own and other

countries, the YAHOOS acted as the governing, rational animal, and held the HOUYHNHNMS in servitude;

that he observed in me all the qualities of a YAHOO, only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason,

which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to the HOUYHNHNM race, as the YAHOOS of their country

were to me; that, among other things, I mentioned a custom we had of castrating HOUYHNHNMS when they

were young, in order to render them tame; that the operation was easy and safe; that it was no shame to learn

wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and building by the swallow (for so I translate the word

LYHANNH, although it be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be practised upon the younger

YAHOOS here, which besides rendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an end to the

whole species, without destroying life; that in the mean time the HOUYHNHNMS should be exhorted to

cultivate the breed of asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have this

advantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the others are not till twelve."

This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what passed in the grand council. But he was

pleased to conceal one particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy effect,

as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.

The HOUYHNHNMS have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is all traditional. But there

happening few events of any moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed to every virtue,

wholly governed by reason, and cut off from all commerce with other nations, the historical part is easily

preserved without burdening their memories. I have already observed that they are subject to no diseases, and

therefore can have no need of physicians. However, they have excellent medicines, composed of herbs, to

cure accidental bruises and cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other maims and

They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but use no subdivisions into weeks. They are

well enough acquainted with the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the nature of eclipses; and

In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein the justness of their similes, and the

minuteness as well as exactness of their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very much

in both of these, and usually contain either some exalted notions of friendship and benevolence or the praises

of those who were victors in races and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very rude and simple,

are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all injuries of and heat. They have a kind of

tree, which at forty years old loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it grows very straight, and

being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the HOUYHNHNMS know not the use of iron), they stick

them erect in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat straw, or sometimes wattles,

The HOUYHNHNMS use the hollow part, between the pastern and the hoof of their forefoot, as we do our

hands, and this with greater dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white mare of our family

thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all

the work which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a kind of hard flints, which, by grinding

against other stones, they form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools

made of these flints, they likewise cut their hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several

fields; the YAHOOS draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the servants tread them in certain covered huts

to get out the grain, which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden vessels, and bake

If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried in the obscurest places that can be found,

their friends and relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor does the dying person

discover the least regret that he is leaving the world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a

visit to one of his neighbours. I remember my master having once made an appointment with a friend and his

family to come to his house, upon some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two

children came very late; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that very

morning to SHNUWNH. The word is strongly expressive in their language, but not easily rendered into

English; it signifies, "to retire to his first mother." Her excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her husband

dying late in the morning, she was a good while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his

body should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our house as cheerfully as the rest. She died about

They live generally to seventy, or seventyfive years, very seldom to fourscore. Some weeks before their

death, they feel a gradual decay; but without pain. During this time they are much visited by their friends,

because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their

death, which they seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that have been made them by those who are

nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledge drawn by YAHOOS; which vehicle they

use, not only upon this occasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are lamed by any

accident: and therefore when the dying HOUYHNHNMS return those visits, they take a solemn leave of their

friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the country, where they designed to pass the rest of their

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the HOUYHNHNMS have no word in their language to

express any thing that is evil, except what they borrow from the deformities or ill qualities of the YAHOOS.

Thus they denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts their feet, a continuance of

foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by adding to each the epithet of YAHOO. For instance, HHNM

I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and virtues of this excellent people; but

intending in a short time to publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the reader thither;

[The author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms. His great improvement in virtue by

conversing with them. Their conversations. The author has notice given him by his master, that he must

depart from the country. He falls into a swoon for grief; but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the

I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My master had ordered a room to be made for me,

after their manner, about six yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I plastered with clay, and

covered with rushmats of my own contriving. I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made of it a

sort of ticking; this I filled with the feathers of several birds I had taken with springes made of YAHOOS'

hairs, and were excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the

When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful

animal, about the same size, called NNUHNOH, the skin of which is covered with a fine down. Of these I

also made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the

upperleather; and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the skins of YAHOOS dried in the sun. I often

got honey out of hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread. No man could more verify

the truth of these two maxims, "That nature is very easily satisfied;" and, "That necessity is the mother of

invention." I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or

inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or

pimping, to procure the favour of any great man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against fraud or

oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to

watch my words and actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no gibers, censurers,

backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians,

wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or

followers, of party and faction; no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes,

gibbets, whippingposts, or pillories; no cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation;

no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proud

pedants; no importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing companions;

no scoundrels raised from the dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on account of their

I had the favour of being admitted to several HOUYHNHNMS, who came to visit or dine with my master;

where his honour graciously suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their discourse. Both he and his

company would often descend to ask me questions, and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the honour

of attending my master in his visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a question; and

then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time for improving myself; but I was

infinitely delighted with the station of an humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed but

what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant words; where, as I have already said, the

greatest decency was observed, without the least degree of ceremony; where no person spoke without being

pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or

difference of sentiments. They have a notion, that when people are met together, a short silence does much

improve conversation: this I found to be true; for during those little intermissions of talk, new ideas would

arise in their minds, which very much enlivened the discourse. Their subjects are, generally on friendship and

benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes upon the visible operations of nature, or ancient traditions;

upon the bounds and limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some determinations to be

taken at the next great assembly: and often upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity,

that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because it afforded my master an occasion

of letting his friends into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all pleased to descant, in a

manner not very advantageous to humankind: and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said; only I may

be allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great admiration, appeared to understand the nature of

YAHOOS much better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and discovered many, which I

had never mentioned to him, by only supposing what qualities a YAHOO of their country, with a small

proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded, with too much probability, "how vile, as

I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value, was acquired by the lectures I received from

my master, and from hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be prouder to listen,

than to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed of

the inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such amiable persons, produced in me the highest

veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural awe, which the YAHOOS and all other animals bear

toward them; but it grew upon me by decrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a

respectful love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my species.

When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human race in general, I considered them,

as they really were, YAHOOS in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the

gift of speech; but making no other use of reason, than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their

brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted them. When I happened to behold the reflection

of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face in horror and detestation of myself, and could

better endure the sight of a common YAHOO than of my own person. By conversing with the

HOUYHNHNMS, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to imitate their gait and gesture, which is now

grown into a habit; and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, "that I trot like a horse;" which, however, I

take for a great compliment. Neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and manner

of the HOUYHNHNMS, and hear myself ridiculed on that account, without the least mortification.

In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be fully settled for life, my master sent

for me one morning a little earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he was in some

perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short silence, he told me, "he did not

know how I would take what he was going to say: that in the last general assembly, when the affair of the

YAHOOS was entered upon, the representatives had taken offence at his keeping a YAHOO (meaning

myself) in his family, more like a HOUYHNHNM than a brute animal; that he was known frequently to

converse with me, as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my company; that such a practice was

not agreeable to reason or nature, or a thing ever heard of before among them; the assembly did therefore

exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my species, or command me to swim back to the place

whence I came: that the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all the HOUYHNHNMS who had

ever seen me at his house or their own; for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of reason, added

to the natural pravity of those animals, it was to be feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and

mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by night to destroy the HOUYHNHNMS' cattle,

My master added, "that he was daily pressed by the HOUYHNHNMS of the neighbourhood to have the

assembly's exhortation executed, which he could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible

for me to swim to another country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of vehicle, resembling

those I had described to him, that might carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of

his own servants, as well as those of his neighbours." He concluded, "that for his own part, he could have

been content to keep me in his service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself of some bad

habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the

I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general assembly in this country is expressed by the

word HNHLOAYN, which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they have no conception

how a rational creature can be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey

I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's discourse; and being unable to support the

agonies I was under, I fell into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me "that he concluded I

had been dead;" for these people are subject to no such imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice,

"that death would have been too great a happiness; that although I could not blame the assembly's

exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak and corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist

with reason to have been less rigorous; that I could not swim a league, and probably the nearest land to theirs

might be distant above a hundred: that many materials, necessary for making a small vessel to carry me off,

were wholly wanting in this country; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience and gratitude to his

honour, although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted

to destruction; that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the least of my evils; for, supposing I

should escape with life by some strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my days among

YAHOOS, and relapsing into my old corruptions, for want of examples to lead and keep me within the paths

of virtue? that I knew too well upon what solid reasons all the determinations of the wise HOUYHNHNMS

were founded, not to be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable YAHOO; and therefore, after presenting

him with my humble thanks for the offer of his servants' assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a

reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I would endeavour to preserve a wretched being; and if

ever I returned to England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own species, by celebrating the

praises of the renowned HOUYHNHNMS, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of mankind."

My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply; allowed me the space of two months to finish my

boat; and ordered the sorrel nag, my fellowservant (for so, at this distance, I may presume to call him), to

follow my instruction; because I told my master, "that his help would be sufficient, and I knew he had a

In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the coast where my rebellious crew had ordered

me to be set on shore. I got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied I saw a small island

toward the northeast. I took out my pocket glass, and could then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off,

as I computed; but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud: for as he had no conception of any

country beside his own, so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so

After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but resolved it should if possible, be the first place

I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a copse at some distance, where I with my

knife, and he with a sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a wooden handle, cut down

several oak wattles, about the thickness of a walkingstaff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the

reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let it suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the

help of the sorrel nag, who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished a sort of Indian canoe,

but much larger, covering it with the skins of YAHOOS, well stitched together with hempen threads of my

own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins of the same animal; but I made use of the youngest

I could get, the older being too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with four paddles. I laid in a

stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls, and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other

I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then corrected in it what was amiss; stopping

all the chinks with YAHOOS' tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and my freight; and, when it

was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by YAHOOS to the

When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave of my master and lady and the whole

family, my eyes flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his honour, out of curiosity, and,

perhaps, (if I may speak without vanity,) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my canoe, and

got several of his neighbouring friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide;

and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing toward the island to which I intended to steer my

course, I took a second leave of my master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he did me

the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning

this last particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so illustrious a person should descend to

give so great a mark of distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten how apt some

travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they have received. But, if these censurers were better

acquainted with the noble and courteous disposition of the HOUYHNHNMS, they would soon change their

I paid my respects to the rest of the HOUYHNHNMS in his honour's company; then getting into my canoe, I

[The author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping to settle there. Is wounded with an arrow

by one of the natives. Is seized and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of the captain.

I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 171415, at nine o'clock in the morning. The wind was very

favourable; however, I made use at first only of my paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and that

the wind might chop about, I ventured to set up my little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at the

rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess. My master and his friends continued on the shore

till I was almost out of sight; and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out, "HNUY

My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish

me with the necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater happiness, than to be first minister in

the politest court of Europe; so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the society, and under

the government of YAHOOS. For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and

reflect with delight on the virtues of those inimitable HOUYHNHNMS, without an opportunity of

The reader may remember what I related, when my crew conspired against me, and confined me to my cabin;

how I continued there several weeks without knowing what course we took; and when I was put ashore in the

longboat, how the sailors told me, with oaths, whether true or false, "that they knew not in what part of the

world we were." However, I did then believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of Good Hope,

or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from some general words I overheard among them, being

I supposed to the southeast in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this were little better than

conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course eastward, hoping to reach the southwest coast of New Holland,

and perhaps some such island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the

evening I computed I had gone eastward at least eighteen leagues; when I spied a very small island about half

a league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one creek naturally arched by the force of

tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the east,

extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe; and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I

arrived in seven hours to the southeast point of New Holland. This confirmed me in the opinion I have long

entertained, that the maps and charts place this country at least three degrees more to the east than it really is;

which thought I communicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my

I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the

country. I found some shellfish on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of being

discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on oysters and limpets, to save my own provisions;

On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or thirty natives upon a height not above

five hundred yards from me. They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a fire, as I could

discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest; five of them advanced toward me,

leaving the women and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and, getting into my canoe,

shoved off: the savages, observing me retreat, ran after me: and before I could get far enough into the sea,

discharged an arrow which wounded me deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the mark to my

grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm

I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same landingplace, but stood to the north, and was

forced to paddle, for the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing northwest. As I was looking

about for a secure landingplace, I saw a sail to the northnortheast, which appearing every minute more

visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my detestation of the YAHOO

race prevailed: and turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek

whence I set out in the morning, choosing rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than live with

European YAHOOS. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the shore, and hid myself behind a stone by

The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long boat with vessels to take in fresh water

(for the place, it seems, was very well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was almost on shore; and

it was too late to seek another hidingplace. The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging

it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off. Four of them, well armed, searched every

cranny and lurkinghole, till at last they found me flat on my face behind the stone. They gazed awhile in

admiration at my strange uncouth dress; my coat made of skins, my woodensoled shoes, and my furred

stockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native of the place, who all go naked. One of the

seamen, in Portuguese, bid me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very well, and getting

upon my feet, said, "I was a poor YAHOO banished from the HOUYHNHNMS, and desired they would

please to let me depart." They admired to hear me answer them in their own tongue, and saw by my

complexion I must be a European; but were at a loss to know what I meant by YAHOOS and

HOUYHNHNMS; and at the same time fell alaughing at my strange tone in speaking, which resembled the

neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and was

gently moving to my canoe; but they laid hold of me, desiring to know, "what country I was of? whence I

came?" with many other questions. I told them "I was born in England, whence I came about five years ago,

and then their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an enemy, since I

meant them no harm, but was a poor YAHOO seeking some desolate place where to pass the remainder of his

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing more unnatural; for it appeared to me as

monstrous as if a dog or a cow should speak in England, or a YAHOO in HOUYHNHNMLAND. The honest

Portuguese were equally amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of delivering my words, which,

however, they understood very well. They spoke to me with great humanity, and said, "they were sure the

captain would carry me GRATIS to Lisbon, whence I might return to my own country; that two of the

seamen would go back to the ship, inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders; in the

mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, they would secure me by force. I thought it best to

comply with their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I gave them very little satisfaction,

and they all conjectured that my misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which went

laden with vessels of water, returned, with the captain's command to fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to

preserve my liberty; but all was in vain; and the men, having tied me with cords, heaved me into the boat,

His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous person. He entreated me to give some

account of myself, and desired to know what I would eat or drink; said, "I should be used as well as himself;"

and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find such civilities from a YAHOO. However, I

remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At last I desired

something to eat out of my own canoe; but he ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and then

directed that I should be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay on the

bedclothes, and in half an hour stole out, when I thought the crew was at dinner, and getting to the side of

the ship, was going to leap into the sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among YAHOOS. But one

of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I was chained to my cabin.

After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason for so desperate an attempt; assured me,

"he only meant to do me all the service he was able;" and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended to

treat him like an animal which had some little portion of reason. I gave him a very short relation of my

voyage; of the conspiracy against me by my own men; of the country where they set me on shore, and of my

five years residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I took great

offence; for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to YAHOOS, in all countries where they

preside, and, consequently, their disposition of suspecting truth in others of their own species. I asked him,

"whether it were the custom in his country to say the thing which was not?" I assured him, "I had almost

forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand years in HOUYHNHNMLAND, I should

never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was altogether indifferent whether he believed me or

not; but, however, in return for his favours, I would give so much allowance to the corruption of his nature, as

to answer any objection he would please to make, and then he might easily discover the truth."

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping in some part of my story, at last began

to have a better opinion of my veracity. But he added, "that since I professed so inviolable an attachment to

truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear him company in this voyage, without attempting any thing

against my life; or else he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon." I gave him the promise he

required; but at the same time protested, "that I would suffer the greatest hardships, rather than return to live

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude to the captain, I sometimes sat with him,

at his earnest request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind, although it often broke out;

which he suffered to pass without observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to my cabin,

to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of my savage dress, and

offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to

cover myself with any thing that had been on the back of a YAHOO. I only desired he would lend me two

clean shirts, which, having been washed since he wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to

prevent the rabble from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at my earnest request he

led me up to the highest room backwards. I conjured him "to conceal from all persons what I had told him of

the HOUYHNHNMS; because the least hint of such a story would not only draw numbers of people to see

me, but probably put me in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition." The captain persuaded

me to accept a suit of clothes newly made; but I would not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however,

Don Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He accoutred me with other necessaries, all

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which were suffered to attend at meals; and his

whole deportment was so obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really began to tolerate

his company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the back window. By degrees I was

brought into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but drew my head back in a fright. In a week's

time he seduced me down to the door. I found my terror gradually lessened, but my hatred and contempt

seemed to increase. I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a

matter of honour and conscience, "that I ought to return to my native country, and live at home with my wife

and children." He told me, "there was an English ship in the port just ready to sail, and he would furnish me

with all things necessary." It would be tedious to repeat his arguments, and my contradictions. He said, "it

was altogether impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to live in; but I might command in my

I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the 24th day of November, in an English

merchantman, but who was the master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and lent me

twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I could.

During this last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his men; but, pretending I was sick, kept

close in my cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine in the morning,

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because they concluded me certainly dead; but I

must freely confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt; and the more, by

reflecting on the near alliance I had to them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from the

HOUYHNHNM country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the sight of YAHOOS, and to converse with

Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of

those exalted HOUYHNHNMS. And when I began to consider that, by copulating with one of the YAHOO

species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and kissed me; at which, having not been used

to the touch of that odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At the time I am

writing, it is five years since my last return to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or

children in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the

same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I

ever able to let one of them take me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young

stonehorses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel

my spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse

with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with

[The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure of those travellers who swerve from

the truth. The author clears himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method of

planting colonies. His native country commended. The right of the crown to those countries described by the

author is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The author takes his last leave of the reader; proposes

Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travels for sixteen years and above seven

months: wherein I have not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like others, have

astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest

manner and style; because my principal design was to inform, and not to amuse thee.

It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom visited by Englishmen or other

Europeans, to form descriptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller's chief aim

should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good, example of

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before he were permitted to publish his voyages,

should be obliged to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print was absolutely

true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some

writers, to make their works pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest falsities on the unwary

reader. I have perused several books of travels with great delight in my younger days; but having since gone

over most parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my own observation,

it has given me a great disgust against this part of reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of

mankind so impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to think my poor endeavours

might not be unacceptable to my country, I imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I

would strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I

retain in my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the other illustrious HOUYHNHNMS of

I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings which require neither genius nor learning, nor

indeed any other talent, except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that writers of travels,

like dictionarymakers, are sunk into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come last, and therefore

lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such travellers, who shall hereafter visit the countries described

in this work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries of their

own, justle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever I was an author. This

indeed would be too great a mortification, if I wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I

cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I have mentioned in the glorious

HOUYHNHNMS, without being ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning,

governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of those remote nations where YAHOOS preside; among

which the least corrupted are the BROBDINGNAGIANS; whose wise maxims in morality and government it

would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave the judicious reader to

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with no censurers: for what objections can

be made against a writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries, where we have

not the least interest, with respect either to trade or negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with

which common writers of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not the least with any party,

but write without passion, prejudice, or illwill against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for

the noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, without breach of modesty, pretend to

some superiority, from the advantages I received by conversing so long among the most accomplished

HOUYHNHNMS. I write without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass that may look

like reflection, or possibly give the least offence, even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I

may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless; against whom the tribes of Answerers,

Considerers, Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find matter for exercising

I confess, it was whispered to me, "that I was bound in duty, as a subject of England, to have given in a

memorial to a secretary of state at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by a subject

belong to the crown." But I doubt whether our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy as those

of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The LILLIPUTIANS, I think, are hardly worth the charge of

a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the

BROBDINGNAGIANS; or whether an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island over

their heads. The HOUYHNHNMS indeed appear not to be so well prepared for war, a science to which they

are perfect strangers, and especially against missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be a minister of

state, I could never give my advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with

fear, and their love of their country, would amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty

thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army, confounding the ranks, overturning the

carriages, battering the warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs; for they would

well deserve the character given to Augustus, RECALCITRAT UNDIQUE TUTUS. But, instead of

proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a capacity, or disposition, to

send a sufficient number of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles of

honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The

names of all which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and are to be met with in modern, as

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his majesty's dominions by my discoveries.

To say the truth, I had conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of princes upon those

occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy

discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a harmless people, are

entertained with kindness; they give the country a new name; they take formal possession of it for their king;

they set up a rotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the natives, bring

away a couple more, by force, for a sample; return home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new

dominion acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity; the natives driven out

or destroyed; their princes tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of inhumanity and

lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so

pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British nation, who may be an example to the

whole world for their wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for the

advancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity; their

caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this the mother

kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in supplying the civil administration through all their

colonies with officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the

most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views than the happiness of the people over whom

But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have any desire of being conquered and

enslaved, murdered or driven out by colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did

humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our valour, or our interest. However, if

those whom it more concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be

lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to

be believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the two YAHOOS, said to have been seen many years ago

But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's name, it never came once into my thoughts;

and if it had, yet, as my affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and selfpreservation, have

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised against me as a traveller, I here take a final

leave of all my courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at Redriff; to

apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned among the HOUYHNHNMS; to instruct the

YAHOOS of my own family, is far as I shall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in a glass,

and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature; to lament the brutality

to HOUYHNHNMS in my own country, but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my noble

master, his family, his friends, and the whole HOUYHNHNM race, whom these of ours have the honour to

resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the farthest end of a long table; and to answer

(but with the utmost brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a YAHOO continuing very

offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard

for a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some time, to suffer a

neighbour YAHOO in my company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.

My reconcilement to the YAHOO kind in general might not be so difficult, if they would be content with

those vices and follies only which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the sight of a

lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an

evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to the due course of things: but

when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately

breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and

such a vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous HOUYHNHNMS, who abound in all excellences that

can adorn a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language, which has no terms to express any

thing that is evil, except those whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their YAHOOS, among

which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want of thoroughly understanding human nature, as

it shows itself in other countries where that animal presides. But I, who had more experience, could plainly

But the HOUYHNHNMS, who live under the government of reason, are no more proud of the good qualities

they possess, than I should be for not wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of,

although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon this subject from the desire I have to

make the society of an English YAHOO by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those

who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to come in my sight.

(2) An act of parliament has been since passed by which some breaches of trust have been made capital.

(5) This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). The above paragraph in the original editions

(1726) takes another form, commencing:"I told him that should I happen to live in a kingdom where lots

were in vogue," &c. The names Tribnia and Langdon an not mentioned, and the "close stool" and its

(7) The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here, though earlier in the work, Redriff is said