Harriet Jacobs ...........................................................................................................................................1

I. CHILDHOOD.....................................................................................................................................2

II. THE NEW MASTER AND MISTRESS. ..........................................................................................3

III. THE SLAVES' NEW YEAR'S DAY...............................................................................................6

IV. THE SLAVE WHO DARED TO FEEL LIKE A MAN..................................................................7

V. THE TRIALS OF GIRLHOOD. ......................................................................................................13

VI. THE JEALOUS MISTRESS..........................................................................................................15

VII. THE LOVER. .................................................................................................................................18

VIII. WHAT SLAVES ARE TAUGHT TO THINK OF THE NORTH. .............................................22

IX. SKETCHES OF NEIGHBORING SLAVEHOLDERS. ................................................................23

X. A PERILOUS PASSAGE IN THE SLAVE GIRL'S LIFE.............................................................27

XI. THE NEW TIE TO LIFE...............................................................................................................30

XII. FEAR OF INSURRECTION.........................................................................................................32

XIII. THE CHURCH AND SLAVERY................................................................................................35

XIV. ANOTHER LINK TO LIFE. ........................................................................................................39

XV. CONTINUED PERSECUTIONS..................................................................................................41

XVI. SCENES AT THE PLANTATION..............................................................................................44

XVII. THE FLIGHT..............................................................................................................................49

XVIII. MONTHS OF PERIL. ................................................................................................................50

XIX. THE CHILDREN SOLD. .............................................................................................................54

XX. NEW PERILS................................................................................................................................56

XXI. THE LOOPHOLE OF RETREAT...............................................................................................58

XXII. CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES. .....................................................................................................60

XXIII. STILL IN PRISON....................................................................................................................61

XXIV. THE CANDIDATE FOR CONGRESS. ....................................................................................63

XXV. COMPETITION IN CUNNING.................................................................................................65

XXVI. IMPORTANT ERA IN MY BROTHERS'S LIFE...................................................................67

XXVII. NEW DESTINATION FOR THE CHILDREN. ......................................................................69

XXVIII. AUNT NANCY. ......................................................................................................................73

XXIX. PREPARATIONS FOR ESCAPE.............................................................................................75

XXX. NORTHWARD BOUND. ...........................................................................................................79

XXXI. INCIDENTS IN PHILADELPHIA...........................................................................................81

XXXII. THE MEETING OF MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. ..............................................................84

XXXIII. A HOME FOUND..................................................................................................................85

XXXIV. THE OLD ENEMY AGAIN. ..................................................................................................87

XXXV. PREJUDICE AGAINST COLOR. ...........................................................................................88

XXXVI. THE HAIRBREADTH ESCAPE...........................................................................................90

XXXVII. A VISIT TO ENGLAND. ......................................................................................................92

XXXVIII. RENEWED INVITATIONS TO GO SOUTH....................................................................93

XXXIX. THE CONFESSION...............................................................................................................94

XL. THE FUGITIVE SLAVE LAW. ....................................................................................................95

XLI. FREE AT LAST. ...........................................................................................................................98

APPENDIX. .........................................................................................................................................102

I WAS born a slave; but I never knew it till six years of happy childhood had passed away. My father was a

carpenter, and considered so intelligent and skilful in his trade, that, when buildings out of the common line

were to be erected, he was sent for from long distances, to be head workman. On condition of paying his

mistress two hundred dollars a year, and supporting himself, he was allowed to work at his trade, and manage

his own affairs. His strongest wish was to purchase his children; but, though he several times offered his hard

earnings for that purpose, he never succeeded. In complexion my parents were a light shade of brownish

yellow, and were termed mulattoes. They lived together in a comfortable home; and, though we were all

slaves, I was so fondly shielded that I never dreamed I was a piece of merchandise, trusted to them for safe

keeping, and liable to be demanded of them at any moment. I had one brother, William, who was two years

younger than myselfa bright, affectionate child. I had also a great treasure in my maternal grandmother,

who was a remarkable woman in many respects. She was the daughter of a planter in South Carolina, who, at

his death, left her mother and his three children free, with money to go to St. Augustine, where they had

relatives. It was during the Revolutionary War; and they were captured on their passage, carried back, and

sold to different purchasers. Such was the story my grandmother used to tell me; but I do not remember all

the particulars. She was a little girl when she was captured and sold to the keeper of a large hotel. I have often

heard her tell how hard she fared during childhood. But as she grew older she evinced so much intelligence,

and was so faithful, that her master and mistress could not help seeing it was for their interest to take care of

such a valuable piece of property. She became an indispensable personage in the household, officiating in all

capacities, from cook and wet nurse to seamstress. She was much praised for her cooking; and her nice

crackers became so famous in the neighborhood that many people were desirous of obtaining them. In

consequence of numerous requests of this kind, she asked permission of her mistress to bake crackers at

night, after all the household work was done; and she obtained leave to do it, provided she would clothe

herself and her children from the profits. Upon these terms, after working hard all day for her mistress, she

began her midnight bakings, assisted by her two oldest children. The business proved profitable; and each

year she laid by a little, which was saved for a fund to purchase her children. Her master died, and the

property was divided among his heirs. The widow had her dower in the hotel which she continued to keep

open. My grandmother remained in her service as a slave; but her children were divided among her master's

children. As she had five, Benjamin, the youngest one, was sold, in order that each heir might have an equal

portion of dollars and cents There was so little difference in our ages that he seemed more like my brother

than my uncle. He was a bright, handsome lad, nearly white; for he inherited the complexion my grandmother

had derived from AngloSaxon ancestors. Though only ten years old, seven hundred and twenty dollars were

paid for him. His sale was a terrible blow to my grandmother; but she was naturally hopeful, and she went to

work with renewed energy, trusting in time to be able to purchase some of her children. She had laid up three

hundred dollars, which her mistress one day begged as a loan, promising to pay her soon. The reader

probably knows that no promise or writing given to a slave is legally binding; for, according to Southern

laws, a slave, being property, can hold no property. When my grandmother lent her hard earnings to her

mistress, she trusted solely to her honor. The honor of a slaveholder to a slave!

To this good grandmother I was indebted for many comforts. My brother Willie and I often received portions

of the crackers, cakes, and preserves, she made to sell; and after we ceased to be children we were indebted to

Such were the unusually fortunate circumstances of my early childhood. When I was six years old, my

mother died; and then, for the first time, I learned, by the talk around me, that I was a slave. My mother's

mistress was the daughter of my grandmother's mistress. She was the foster sister of my mother; they were

both nourished at my grandmother's breast. In fact, my mother had been weaned at three months old, that the

babe of the mistress might obtain sufficient food. They played together as children; and, when they became

women, my mother was a most faithful servant to her whiter foster sister. On her deathbed her mistress

promised that her children should never suffer for any thing; and during her lifetime she kept her word. They

all spoke kindly of my dead mother, who had been a slave merely in name, but in nature was noble and

womanly. I grieved for her, and my young mind was troubled with the thought who would now take care of

me and my little brother. I was told that my home was now to be with her mistress; and I found it a happy

one. No toilsome or disagreeable duties were imposed on me. My mistress was so kind to me that I was

always glad to do her bidding, and proud to labor for her as much as my young years would permit. I would

sit by her side for hours, sewing diligently, with a heart as free from care as that of any freeborn white child.

When she thought I was tired, she would send me out to run and jump; and away I bounded, to gather berries

or flowers to decorate her room. Those were happy daystoo happy to last. The slave child had no thought

for the morrow; but there came that blight, which too surely waits on every human being born to be a chattel.

When I was nearly twelve years old, my kind mistress sickened and died. As I saw the cheek grow paler, and

the eye more glassy, how earnestly I prayed in my heart that she might live! I loved her; for she had been

almost like a mother to me. My prayers were not answered. She died, and they buried her in the little

I was sent to spend a week with my grandmother. I was now old enough to begin to think of the future; and

again and again I asked myself what they would do with me. I felt sure I should never find another mistress

so kind as the one who was gone. She had promised my dying mother that her children should never suffer

for any thing; and when I remembered that, and recalled her many proofs of attachment to me, I could not

help having some hopes that she had left me free. My friends were almost certain it would be so. They

thought she would be sure to do it, on account of my mother's love and faithful service. But, alas! we all

know that the memory of a faithful slave does not avail much to save her children from the auction block.

After a brief period of suspense, the will of my mistress was read, and we learned that she had bequeathed me

to her sister's daughter, a child of five years old. So vanished our hopes. My mistress had taught me the

precepts of God's Word: "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." "Whatsoever ye would that men should do

unto you, do ye even so unto them." But I was her slave, and I suppose she did not recognize me as her

neighbor. I would give much to blot out from my memory that one great wrong. As a child, I loved my

mistress; and, looking back on the happy days I spent with her, I try to think with less bitterness of this act of

injustice. While I was with her, she taught me to read and spell; and for this privilege, which so rarely falls to

She possessed but few slaves; and at her death those were all distributed among her relatives. Five of them

were my grandmother's children, and had shared the same milk that nourished her mother's children.

Notwithstanding my grandmother's long and faithful service to her owners, not one of her children escaped

the auction block. These Godbreathing machines are no more, in the sight of their masters, than the cotton

DR. Flint, a physician in the neighborhood, had married the sister of my mistress, and I was now the property

of their little daughter. It was not without murmuring that I prepared for my new home; and what added to my

unhappiness, was the fact that my brother William was purchased by the same family. My father, by his

nature, as well as by the habit of transacting business as a skillful mechanic, had more of the feelings of a

freeman than is common among slaves. My brother was a spirited boy; and being brought up under such

influences, he daily detested the name of master and mistress. One day, when his father and his mistress both

happened to call him at the same time, he hesitated between the two; being perplexed to know which had the

strongest claim upon his obedience. He finally concluded to go to his mistress. When my father reproved him

for it, he said, "You both called me, and I didn't know which I ought to go to first."

"You are my child," replied our father, "and when I call you, you should come immediately, if you have to

Poor Willie! He was now to learn his first lesson of obedience to a master. Grandmother tried to cheer us with

When we entered our new home we encountered cold looks, cold words, and cold treatment. We were glad

when the night came. On my narrow bed I moaned and wept, I felt so desolate and alone.

I had been there nearly a year, when a dear little friend of mine was buried. I heard her mother sob, as the

clods fell on the coffin of her only child, and I turned away from the grave, feeling thankful that I still had

something left to love. I met my grandmother, who said, "Come with me, Linda;" and from her tone I knew

that something sad had happened. She led me apart from the people, and then said, "My child, your father is

dead. " Dead! How could I believe it? He had died so suddenly I had not even heard that he was sick. I went

home with my grandmother. My heart rebelled against God, who had taken from me mother, father, mistress,

and friend. The good grandmother tried to comfort me. "Who knows the ways of God?" said she. "Perhaps

they have been kindly taken from the evil days to come." Years afterwards I often thought of this. She

promised to be a mother to her grandchildren, so far as she might be permitted to do so; and strengthened by

her love, I returned to my master's. I thought I should be allowed to go to my father's house the next morning;

but I was ordered to go for flowers, that my mistress's house might be decorated for an evening party. I spent

the day gathering flowers and weaving them into festoons, while the dead body of my father was lying within

a mile of me. What cared my owners for that? he was merely a piece of property. Moreover, they thought he

had spoiled his children, by teaching them to feel that they were human beings. This was blasphemous

doctrine for a slave to teach; presumptuous in him, and dangerous to the masters.

The next day I followed his remains to a humble grave beside that of my dear mother. There were those who

My home now seemed more dreary than ever. The laugh of the little slavechildren sounded harsh and cruel.

It was selfish to feel so about the joy of others. My brother moved about with a very grave face. I tried to

comfort him, by saying, "Take courage, Willie; brighter days will come by and by."

"You don't know any thing about it, Linda," he replied. "We shall have to stay here all our days; we shall

I argued that we were growing older and stronger, and that perhaps we might, before long, be allowed to hire

our own time, and then we could earn money to buy our freedom. William declared this was much easier to

say than to do; moreover, he did not intend to buy his freedom. We held daily controversies upon this subject.

Little attention was paid to the slaves' meals in Dr. Flint's house. If they could catch a bit of food while it was

going, well and good. I gave myself no trouble on that score, for on my various errands I passed my

grandmother's house, where there was always something to spare for me. I was frequently threatened with

punishment if I stopped there; and my grandmother, to avoid detaining me, often stood at the gate with

something for my breakfast or dinner. I was indebted to her for all my comforts, spiritual or temporal. It was

her labor that supplied my scanty wardrobe. I have a vivid recollection of the linseywoolsey dress given me

every winter by Mrs. Flint. How I hated it! It was one of the badges of slavery.

While my grandmother was thus helping to support me from her hard earnings, the three hundred dollars she

had lent her mistress were never repaid. When her mistress died, her soninlaw, Dr. Flint, was appointed

executor. When grandmother applied to him for payment, he said the estate was insolvent, and the law

prohibited payment. It did not, however, prohibit him from retaining the silver candelabra, which had been

purchased with that money. I presume they will be handed down in the family, from generation to generation.

My grandmother's mistress had always promised her that, at her death, she should be free; and it was said that

in her will she made good the promise. But when the estate was settled, Dr. Hint told the faithful old servant

On the appointed day, the customary advertisement was posted up, proclaiming that there would be a "public

sale of negroes, horses, " Dr. Flint called to tell my grandmother that he was unwilling to wound her feelings

by putting her up at auction, and that he would prefer to dispose of her at private sale. My grandmother saw

through his hypocrisy; she understood very well that he was ashamed of the job. She was a very spirited

woman, and if he was base enough to sell her, when her mistress intended she should be free, she was

determined the public should know it. She had for a long time supplied many families with crackers and

preserves; consequently, "Aunt Marthy," as she was called, was generally known, and every body who knew

her respected her intelligence and good character. Her long and faithful service in the family was also well

known, and the intention of her mistress to leave her free. When the day of sale came, she took her place

among the chattels, and at the first call she sprang upon the auctionblock. Many voices called out, "Shame!

Shame! Who is going to sell you, aunt Marthy? Don't stand there! That is no place for you." Without saying a

word, she quietly awaited her fate. No one bid for her. At last, a feeble voice said, "Fifty dollars." It came

from a maiden lady, seventy years old, the sister of my grandmother's deceased mistress. She had lived forty

years under the same roof with my grandmother; she knew how faithfully she had served her owners, and

how cruelly she had been defrauded of her rights; and she resolved to protect her. The auctioneer waited for a

higher bid; but her wishes were respected; no one bid above her. She could neither read nor write; and when

the bill of sale was made out, she signed it with a cross. But what consequence was that, when she had a big

At that time, my grandmother was just fifty years old. Laborious years had passed since then; and now my

brother and I were slaves to the man who had defrauded her of her money, and tried to defraud her of her

freedom. One of my mother's sisters, called Aunt Nancy, was also a slave in his family. She was a kind, good

aunt to me; and supplied the place of both housekeeper and waiting maid to her mistress. She was, in fact, at

Mrs. Flint, like many southern women, was totally deficient in energy. She had not strength to superintend

her household affairs; but her nerves were so strong, that she could sit in her easy chair and see a woman

whipped, till the blood trickled from every stroke of the lash. She was a member of the church; but partaking

of the Lord's supper did not seem to put her in a Christian frame of mind. If dinner was not served at the exact

time on that particular Sunday, she would station herself in the kitchen, and wait till it was dished, and then

spit in all the kettles and pans that had been used for cooking. She did this to prevent the cook and her

children from eking out their meagre fare with the remains of the gravy and other scrapings. The slaves could

get nothing to eat except what she chose to give them. Provisions were weighed out by the pound and ounce,

three times a day. I can assure you she gave them no chance to eat wheat bread from her flour barrel. She

knew how many biscuits a quart of flour would make, and exactly what size they ought to be.

Dr. Flint was an epicure. The cook never sent a dinner to his table without fear and trembling; for if there

happened to be a dish not to his liking, he would either order her to be whipped, or compel her to eat every

mouthful of it in his presence. The poor, hungry creature might not have objected to eating it; but she did not

They had a pet dog, that was a nuisance in the house. The cook was ordered to make some Indian mush for

him. He refused to eat, and when his head was held over it, the froth flowed from his mouth into the basin.

He died a few minutes after. When Dr. Flint came in, he said the mush had not been well cooked, and that

was the reason the animal would not eat it. He sent for the cook, and compelled her to eat it. He thought that

the woman's stomach was stronger than the dog's; but her sufferings afterwards proved that he was mistaken.

This poor woman endured many cruelties from her master and mistress; sometimes she was locked up, away

When I had been in the family a few weeks, one of the plantation slaves was brought to town, by order of his

master. It was near night when he arrived, and Dr. Flint ordered him to be taken to the work house, and tied

up to the joist, so that his feet would just escape the ground. In that situation he was to wait till the doctor had

taken his tea. I shall never forget that night. Never before, in my life, had I heard hundreds of blows fall, in

succession, on a human being. His piteous groans, and his "O, pray don't, massa," rang in my ear for months

afterwards. There were many conjectures as to the cause of this terrible punishment. Some said master

accused him of stealing corn; others said the slave had quarrelled with his wife, in presence of the overseer,

and had accused his master of being the father of her child. They were both black, and the child was very fair.

I went into the work house next morning, and saw the cowhide still wet with blood, and the boards all

covered with gore. The poor man lived, and continued to quarrel with his wife. A few months afterwards Dr.

Flint handed them both over to a slavetrader. The guilty man put their value into his pocket, and had the

satisfaction of knowing that they were out of sight and hearing. When the mother was delivered into the

trader's hands, she said, "You promised to treat me well." To which he replied, "You have let your tongue run

too far; damn you!" She had forgotten that it was a crime for a slave to tell who was the father of her child.

From others than the master persecution also comes in such cases. I once saw a young slave girl dying soon

after the birth of a child nearly white. In her agony she cried out, "O Lord, come and take me!" Her mistress

stood by, and mocked at her like an incarnate .fiend. "You suffer, do you?" she exclaimed. "I am glad of it.

The girl's mother said, "The baby is dead, thank God; and I hope my poor child will soon be in heaven, too."

"Heaven!" retorted the mistress. "There is no such place for the like of her and her bastard."

The poor mother turned away, sobbing. Her dying daughter called her, feebly, and as she bent over her, I

heard her say, "Don't grieve so, mother; God knows all about it; and HE will have mercy upon me."

Her sufferings, afterwards, became so intense, that her mistress felt unable to stay; but when she left the

room, the scornful smile was still on her lips. Seven children called her mother. The poor black woman had

but the one child, whose eyes she saw closing in death, while she thanked God for taking her away from the

DR. Flint owned a fine residence in town, several farms, and about fifty slaves, besides hiring a number by

Hiringday at the south takes place on the 1st of January. On the 2d, the slaves are expected to go to their

new masters. On a farm, they work until the corn and cotton are laid. They then have two holidays. Some

masters give them a good dinner under the trees. This over, they work until Christmas eve. If no heavy

charges are meantime brought against them, they are given four or five holidays, whichever the master or

overseer may think proper. Then comes New Year's eve; and they gather together their little alls, or more

properly speaking, their little nothings, and wait anxiously for the dawning of day. At the appointed hour the

grounds are thronged with men, women, and children, waiting, like criminals, to hear their doom pronounced.

The slave is sure to know who is the most humane, or cruel master, within forty miles of him.

It is easy to find out, on that day, who clothes and feeds his slaves well; for he is surrounded by a crowd,

If a slave is unwilling to go with his new master, he is whipped, or locked up in jail, until he consents to go,

and promises not to run away during the year. Should he chance to change his mind, thinking it justifiable to

violate an extorted promise, woe unto him if he is caught! The whip is used till the blood flows at his feet;

and his stiffened limbs are put in chains, to be dragged in the field for days and days!

If he lives until the next year, perhaps the same man will hire him again, without even giving him an

opportunity of going to the hiringground. After those for hire are disposed of, those for sale are called up.

O, you happy free women, contrast your New Year's day with that of the poor bondwoman! With you it is a

pleasant season, and the light of the day is blessed. Friendly wishes meet you every where, and gifts are

showered upon you. Even hearts that have been estranged from you soften at this season, and lips that have

been silent echo back, "I wish you a happy New Year." Children bring their little offerings, and raise their

rosy lips for a caress. They are your own, and no hand but that of death can take them from you.

But to the slave mother New Year's day comes laden with peculiar sorrows. She sits on her cold cabin floor,

watching the children who may all be torn from her the next morning; and often does she wish that she and

they might die before the day dawns. She may be an ignorant creature, degraded by the system that has

brutalized her from childhood; but she has a mother's instincts, and is capable of feeling a mother's agonies.

On one of these sale days, I saw a mother lead seven children to the auctionblock. She knew that some of

them would be taken from her; but they took all. The children were sold to a slavetrader, and their mother

was bought by a man in her own town. Before night her children were all far away. She begged the trader to

tell her where he intended to take them; this he refused to do. How could he, when he knew he would sell

them, one by one, wherever he could command the highest price? I met that mother in the street, and her

wild, haggard face lives today in my mind. She wrung her hands in anguish, and exclaimed, "Gone! all

gone! Why don't God kill me?" I had no words wherewith to comfort her. Instances of this kind are of daily,

Slaveholders have a method, peculiar to their institution, of getting rid of old slaves, whose lives have been

worn out in their service. I knew an old woman, who for seventy years faithfully served her master. She had

become almost helpless, from hard labor and disease. Her owners moved to Alabama, and the old black

TWO years had passed since I entered Dr. Flint's family, and those years had brought much of the knowledge

that comes from experience, though they had afforded little opportunity for any other kinds of knowledge.

My grandmother had, as much as possible, been a mother to her orphan grandchildren. By perseverance and

unwearied industry, she was now mistress of a snug little home, surrounded with the necessaries of life. She

would have been happy could her children have shared them with her. There remained but three children and

two grandchildren, all slaves. Most earnestly did she strive to make us feel that it was the will of God: that He

had seen fit to place us under such circumstances; and though it seemed hard, we ought to pray for

contentment. It was a beautiful faith, coming from a mother who could not call her children her own. But I,

and Benjamin, her youngest boy, condemned it. We reasoned that it was much more the will of God that we

should be situated as she was. We longed for a home like hers. There we always found sweet balsam [balm]

for our troubles. She was so loving, so sympathizing! She always met us with a smile, and listened with

patience to all our sorrows. She spoke so hopefully, that unconsciously the clouds gave place to sunshine.

There was a grand big oven there, too, that baked bread and nice things for the town, and we knew there was

But, alas! even the charms of the old oven failed to reconcile us to our hard lot. Benjamin was now a tall,

handsome lad, strongly and gracefully made, and with a spirit too bold and daring for a slave. My brother

William, now twelve years old, had the same aversion to the word master that he had when he was an urchin

of seven years. I was his ... He came to me with all his troubles. I remember one instance in particular. It was

on a lovely spring morning, and when I marked the sunlight dancing here and there, its beauty seemed to

mock my sadness. For my master, whose restless, craving, vicious nature roved about day and night, seeking

whom to devour, had just left me, with stinging, scorching words; words that scathed ear and brain like fire.

O, how I despised him! I thought how glad I should be, if some day when he walked the earth, it would open

When he told me that I was made for his use, made to obey his command in every thing; that I was nothing

but a slave, whose will must and should surrender to his, never before had my puny arm felt half so strong.

So deeply was I absorbed in painful reflections afterwards, that I neither saw nor heard the entrance of any

one, till the voice of William sounded close beside me. "Linda," said he, "what makes you look so sad? I love

you. 0, Linda, isn't this a bad world? Every body seems so cross and unhappy. I wish I had died when poor

I told him that every body was not cross, or unhappy; that those who had pleasant homes, and kind friends,

and who were not afraid to love them, were happy. But we, who were slavechildren, without father or

mother, could not expect to be happy. We must be good; perhaps that would bring us contentment.

"Yes," he said, "I try to be good; but what's the use? They are all the time troubling me." Then he proceeded

to relate his afternoon's difficulty with young master Nicholas. It seemed that the brother of master Nicholas

had pleased himself with making up stories about William. Master Nicholas said he should be flogged, and

he would do it. Whereupon he went to work; but William fought bravely, and the young master, finding he

was getting the better of him, undertook to tie his hands behind him. He failed in that likewise. By dint of

kicking and fisting, William came out of the skirmish none the worse for a few scratches.

He continued to discourse on his young master's meanness; how he whipped the little boys, but was a perfect

coward when a tussle ensued between him and white boys of his own size. On such occasions he always took

to his legs. William had other charges to make against him. One was his rubbing up pennies with quicksilver,

and passing them off for quarters of a dollar on an old man who kept a fruit stall. William was often sent to

buy fruit, and he earnestly inquired of me what he ought to do under such circumstances. I told him it was

certainly wrong to deceive the old man, and that it was his duty to tell him of the impositions practised by his

young master. I assured him the old man would not be slow to comprehend the whole, and there the matter

would end. William thought it might with the old man, but not with him. He said he did not mind the smart of

While I advised him to be good and forgiving I was not unconscious of the beam in my own eye. It was the

very knowledge of my own shortcomings that urged me to retain, if possible, some sparks of my brother's

Godgiven nature. I had not lived fourteen years in slavery for nothing. I had felt, seen, and heard enough, to

read the characters, and question the motives, of those around me. The war of my life had begun; and though

one of God's most powerless creatures, I resolved never to be conquered. Alas, for me!

If there was one pure, sunny spot for me, I believed it to be in Benjamin's heart, and in another's, whom I

loved with all the ardor of a girl's first love. My owner knew of it, and sought in every way to render me

miserable. He did not resort to corporal punishment, but to all the petty, tyrannical ways that human ingenuity

I remember the first time I was punished. It was in the month of February. My grandmother had taken my old

shoes, and replaced them with a new pair. I needed them; for several inches of snow had fallen, and it still

continued to fall. When I walked through Mrs. Flint's room, their creaking grated harshly on her refined

nerves. She called me to her, and asked what I had about me that made such a horrid noise. I told her it was

my new shoes. "Take them off," said she; "and if you put them on again, I'll throw them into the fire."

I took them off, and my stockings also. She then sent me a long distance, on an errand. As I went through the

snow, my bare feet tingled. That night I was very hoarse; and I went to bed thinking the next day would find

I had imagined if I died, or was laid up for some time, that my mistress would feel a twinge of remorse that

she had so hated "the little imp," as she styled me. It was my ignorance of that mistress that gave rise to such

Dr. Flint occasionally had high prices offered for me; but he always said, "She don't belong to me. She is my

daughter's property, and I have no right to sell her. " Good, honest man! My young mistress was still a child,

and I could look for no protection from her. I loved her, and she returned my affection. I once heard her

father allude to her attachment to me; and his wife promptly replied that it proceeded from fear. This put

unpleasant doubts into my mind. Did the child feign what she did not feel? or was her mother jealous of the

mite of love she bestowed on me? I concluded it must be the latter. I said to myself, "Surely, little children

One afternoon I sat at my sewing, feeling unusual depression of spirits. My mistress had been accusing me of

an offence, of which I assured her I was perfectly innocent; but I saw, by the contemptuous curl of her lip,

I wondered for what wise purpose God was leading me through such thorny paths, and whether still darker

days were in store for me. As I sat musing thus, the door opened softly, and William came in. "Well,

My first thought was that Benjamin was killed. "Don't be frightened, Linda," said William; "I will tell you all

about it." It appeared that Benjamin's master had sent for him, and he did not immediately obey the summons.

When he did, his master was angry, and began to whip him. He resisted. Master and slave fought, and finally

the master was thrown. Benjamin had cause to tremble; for he had thrown to the ground his masterone of

That night I stole to my grandmother's house, and Benjamin also stole thither from his master's. My

grandmother had gone to spend a day or two with an old friend living in the country.

I looked at him to see whether he was in earnest. I saw it all in his firm, set mouth. I implored him not to go,

but he paid no heed to my words. He said he was no longer a boy, and every day made his yoke more galling.

He had raised his hand against his master, and was to be publicly whipped for the offence. I reminded him of

the poverty and hardships he must encounter among strangers. I told him he might be caught and brought

He grew vexed, and asked if poverty and hardships with freedom, were not preferable to our treatment in

slavery. "Linda," he continued, "we are dogs here; footballs, cattle, every thing that's mean. No, I will not

He was right; but it was hard to give him up. "Go," said I, "and break your mother's heart."

"Linda," said he, speaking as I had not heard him speak that evening, "how could you say that? Poor mother!

Farewells were exchanged, and the bright, kind boy, endeared to us by so many acts of love, vanished from

It is not necessary to state how he made his escape. Suffice it to say, he was on his way to New York when a

violent storm overtook the vessel. The captain said he must put into the nearest port. This alarmed Benjamin,

who was aware that he would be advertised in every port near his own town. His embarrassment was noticed

by the captain. To port they went. There the advertisement met the captain's eye. Benjamin so exactly

answered its description, that the captain laid hold on him, and bound him in chains. The storm passed, and

they proceeded to New York. Before reaching that port Benjamin managed to get off his chains and throw

them overboard. He escaped from the vessel, but was pursued, captured, and carried back to his master.

When my grandmother returned home and found her youngest child had fled, great was her sorrow; but, with

characteristic piety, she said, "God's will be done." Each morning, she inquired if any news had been heard

from her boy. Yes, news was heard. The master was rejoicing over a letter, announcing the capture of his

That day seems but as yesterday, so well do I remember it. I saw him led through the streets in chains, to jail.

His face was ghastly pale, yet full of determination. He had begged one of the sailors to go to his mother's

house and ask her not to meet him. He said the sight of her distress would take from him all selfcontrol. She

yearned to see him, and she went; but she screened herself in the crowd, that it might be as her child had said.

We were not allowed to visit him; but we had known the jailer for years, and he was a kindhearted man. At

midnight he opened the jail door for my grandmother and myself to enter, in disguise. When we entered the

cell not a sound broke the stillness. "Benjamin, Benjamin!" whispered my grandmother. No answer.

"Benjamin!" she again faltered. There was a jingle of chains. The moon had just risen, and cast an uncertain

light through the bars of the window. We knelt down and took Benjamin's cold hands in ours. We did not

speak. Sobs were heard, and Benjamin's lips were unsealed; for his mother was weeping on his neck. How

vividly does memory bring back that sad night! Mother and son talked together. He asked her pardon for the

suffering he had caused her. She said she had nothing to forgive; she could not blame his desire for freedom.

He told her that when he was captured, he broke away, and was about casting himself into the river, when

thoughts of her came over him, and he desisted. She asked if he did not also think of God. I fancied I saw his

face grow fierce in the moonlight. He answered, "No, I did not think of him. When a man is hunted like a

wild beast he forgets there is a God, a heaven. He forgets every thing in his struggle to get beyond the reach

"Don't talk so, Benjamin," said she. "Put your trust in God. Be humble, my child, and your master will

"Forgive me for what, mother? For not letting him treat me like a dog? No! I will never humble myself to

him. I have worked for him for nothing all my life, and I am repaid with stripes and imprisonment. Here I

The poor mother shuddered at his words. I think he felt it; for when he next spoke, his voice was calmer.

"Don't fret about me, mother. I ain't worth it," said he. "I wish I had some of your goodness. You bear every

She told him she had not always been so; once, she was like him; but when sore troubles came upon her, and

she had no arm to lean upon, she learned to call on God, and he lightened her burdens. She besought him to

Benjamin had been imprisoned three weeks, when my grandmother went to intercede for him with his master.

He was immovable. He said Benjamin should serve as an example to the rest of his slaves; he should be kept

in jail till he was subdued, or be sold if he got but one dollar for him. However, he afterwards relented in

As his food was of the coarsest kind, we carried him as often as possible a warm supper, accompanied with

Three months elapsed, and there was no prospect of release or of a purchaser. One day he was heard to sing

and laugh. This piece of indecorum was told to his master, and the overseer was ordered to rechain him. He

was now confined in an apartment with other prisoners, who were covered with filthy rags. Benjamin was

chained near them, and was soon covered with vermin. He worked at his chains till he succeeded in getting

out of them. He passed them through the bars of the window, with a request that they should be taken to his

My grandmother continued to send him fresh changes of clothes. The old ones were burned up. The last night

we saw him in jail his mother still begged him to send for his master, and beg his pardon. Neither persuasion

nor argument could turn him from his purpose. He calmly answered, "I am waiting his time."

Another three months passed, and Benjamin left his prison walls. We that loved him waited to bid him a long

and last farewell. A slave trader had bought him. You remember, I told you what price he brought when ten

years of age. Now he was more than twenty years old, and sold for three hundred dollars. The master had

been blind to his own interest. Long confinement had made his face too pale, his form too thin; moreover, the

trader had heard something of his character, and it did not strike him as suitable for a slave. He said he would

give any price if the handsome lad was a girl. We thanked God that he was not. Could you have seen that

mother clinging to her child, when they fastened the irons upon his wrists; could you have heard her

heartrending groans, and seen her bloodshot eyes wander wildly from face to face, vainly pleading for

mercy; could you have witnessed that scene as I saw it, you would exclaim, Slavery is damnable!

Benjamin, her youngest, her pet, was forever gone! She could not realize it. She had had an interview with

the trader for the purpose of ascertaining if Benjamin could be purchased. She was told it was impossible, as

he had given bonds not to sell him till he was out of the state. He promised that he would not sell him till he

With a strong arm and unvaried trust, my grandmother began her work of love. Benjamin must be free. If she

succeeded, she knew they would still be separated; but the sacrifice was not too great. Day and night she

labored. The trader's price would treble that he gave; but she was not discouraged.

She employed a lawyer to write to a gentleman, whom she knew, in New Orleans. She begged him to interest

himself for Benjamin, and he willingly favored her request. When he saw Benjamin, and stated his business,

he thanked him; but said he preferred to wait a while before making the trader an offer. He knew he had tried

to obtain a high price for him, and had invariably failed. This encouraged him to make another effort for

freedom. So one morning, long before day, Benjamin was missing. He was riding over the blue billows,

For once his white face did him a kindly service. They had no suspicion that it belonged to a slave; otherwise,

the law would have been followed out to the letter, and the thing rendered back to slavery. The brightest skies

are often overshadowed by the darkest clouds. Benjamin was taken sick, and compelled to remain in

Baltimore three weeks. His strength was slow in returning; and his desire to continue his journey seemed to

retard his recovery. How could he get strength without air and exercise? He resolved to venture on a short

walk. A bystreet was selected, where he thought himself secure of not being met by any one that knew him;

His first impulse was to run; but his legs trembled so that he could not stir. He turned to confront his

antagonist, and behold, there stood his old master's next door neighbor! He thought it was all over with him

now; but it proved otherwise. That man was a miracle. He possessed a goodly number of slaves, and yet was

not quite deaf to that mystic clock, whose ticking is rarely heard in the slaveholder's breast.

"Ben, you are sick," said he. "Why, you look like a ghost. I guess I gave you something of a start. Never

mind, Ben, I am not going to touch you. You had a pretty tough time of it, and you may go on your way

rejoicing for all me. But I would advise you to get out of this place plaguy quick, for there are several

gentlemen here from our town." He described the nearest and safest route to New York, and added, "I shall

Benjamin turned away, filled with gratitude, and surprised that the town he hated contained such a gema

This gentleman was a Northerner by birth, and had married a southern lady. On his return, he told my

Benjamin reached New York safely, and concluded to stop there until he had gained strength enough to

proceed further. It happened that my grandmother's only remaining son had sailed for the same city on

business for his mistress . Through God's providence, the brothers met. You may be sure it was a happy

meeting. "O Phil," exclaimed Benjamin, "I am here at last." Then he told him how near he came to dying,

almost in sight of free land, and how he prayed that he might live to get one breath of free air. He said life

was worth something now, and it would be hard to die. In the old jail he had not valued it; once, he was

tempted to destroy it; but something, he did not know what, had prevented him; perhaps it was fear. He had

heard those who profess to be religious declare there was no heaven for selfmurderers; and as his life had

been pretty hot here, he did not desire a continuation of the same in another world. "If I die now," he

He begged my uncle Phillip not to return south; but stay and work with him, till they earned enough to buy

those at home. His brother told him it would kill their mother if he deserted her in her trouble. She had

pledged her house, and with difficulty had raised money to buy him. Would he be bought?

"No, never!" he replied. "Do you suppose, Phil, when I have got so far out of their clutches, I will give them

one red cent? No! And do you suppose I would turn mother out of her home in her old age? That I would let

her pay all those hardearned dollars for me, and never to see me? For you know she will stay south as long

as her other children are slaves. What a good mother! Tell her to buy you, Phil. You have been a comfort to

her, and I have been a trouble. And Linda, poor Linda; what'll become of her? Phil, you don't know what a

life they lead her. She has told me something about it, and I wish old Flint was dead, or a better man. When I

was in jail, he asked her if she didn't want him to ask my master to forgive me, and take me home again. She

told him, No; that I didn't want to go back. He got mad, and said we were all alike. I never despised my own

master half as much as I do that man. There is many a worse slaveholder than my master, but for all that I

While Benjamin was sick, he had parted with nearly all his clothes to pay necessary expenses. But he did not

part with a little pin I fastened in his bosom when we parted. It was the most valuable thing I owned, and I

They parted with moistened eyes; and as Benjamin turned away, he said, "Phil, I part with all my kindred."

Uncle Phillip came home; and the first words he uttered when he entered the house were, "Mother, Ben is

free! I have seen him in New York." She stood looking at him with a bewildered air. "Mother, don't you

believe it?" he said, laying his hand softly upon her shoulder. She raised her hands, and exclaimed, "God be

praised! Let us thank him." She dropped on her knees, and poured forth her heart in prayer. Then Phillip must

sit down and repeat to her every word Benjamin had said. He told her all; only he forbore to mention how

sick and pale her darling looked. Why should he distress her when she could do him no good?

The brave old woman still toiled on, hoping to rescue some of her other children. After a while she succeeded

in buying Phillip. She paid eight hundred dollars, and came home with the precious document that secured

his freedom. The happy mother and son sat together by the old hearthstone that night, telling how proud they

were of each other, and how they would prove to the world that they could take care of themselves, as they

had long taken care of others. We all concluded by saying, "He that is willing to be a slave, let him be a

DURING the first years of my service in Dr. Flint's family, I was accustomed to share some indulgences with

the children of my mistress. Though this seemed to me no more than right, I was grateful for it, and tried to

merit the kindness by the faithful discharge of my duties. But I now entered on my fifteenth yeara sad

epoch in the life of a slave girl. My master began to whisper foul words in my ear. Young as I was, I could

not remain ignorant of their import. I tried to treat them with indifference or contempt. The master's age, my

extreme youth, and the fear that his conduct would be reported to my grandmother, made him bear this

treatment for many months. He was a crafty man, and resorted to many means to accomplish his purposes.

Sometimes he had stormy, terrific ways, that made his victims tremble; sometimes he assumed a gentleness

that he thought must surely subdue. Of the two, I preferred his stormy moods, although they left me

trembling. He tried his utmost to corrupt the pure principles my grandmother had instilled. He peopled my

young mind with unclean images, such as only a vile monster could think of. I turned from him with disgust

and hatred. But he was my master. I was compelled to live under the same roof with himwhere I saw a

man forty years my senior daily violating the most sacred commandments of nature. He told me I was his

property; that I must be subject to his will in all things. My soul revolted against the mean tyranny. But where

could I turn for protection? No matter whether the slave girl be as black as ebony or as fair as her mistress. In

either case, there is no shadow of law to protect her from insult, from violence, or even from death; all these

are inflicted by fiends who bear the shape of men. The mistress, who ought to protect the helpless victim, has

no other feelings towards her but those of jealousy and rage. The degradation, the wrongs, the vices, that

grow out of slavery, are more than I can describe. They are greater than you would willingly believe. Surely,

if you credited one half the truths that are told you concerning the helpless millions suffering in this cruel

bondage, you at the north would not help to tighten the yoke. You surely would refuse to do for the master,

on your own soil, the mean and cruel work which trained bloodhounds and the lowest class of whites do for

Every where the years bring to all enough of sin and sorrow; but in slavery the very dawn of life is darkened

by these shadows. Even the little child, who is accustomed to wait on her mistress and her children, will

learn, before she is twelve years old, why it is that her mistress hates such and such a one among the slaves.

Perhaps the child's own mother is among those hated ones. She listens to violent outbreaks of jealous passion,

and cannot help understanding what is the cause. She will become prematurely knowing in evil things. Soon

she will learn to tremble when she hears her master's footfall. She will be compelled to realize that she is no

longer a child. If God has bestowed beauty upon her, it will prove her greatest curse. That which commands

admiration in the white woman only hastens the degradation of the female slave. I know that some are too

much brutalized by slavery to feel the humiliation of their position; but many slaves feel it most acutely, and

shrink from the memory of it. I cannot tell how much I suffered in the presence of these wrongs, nor how I

am still pained by the retrospect. My master met me at every turn, reminding me that I belonged to him, and

swearing by heaven and earth that he would compel me to submit to him. If I went out for a breath of fresh

air, after a day of unwearied toil, his footsteps dogged me. If I knelt by my mother's grave, his dark shadow

fell on me even there. The light heart which nature had given me became heavy with sad forebodings. The

other slaves in my master's house noticed the change. Many of them pitied me; but none dared to ask the

cause. They had no need to inquire. They knew too well the guilty practices under that roof, and they were

I longed for some one to confide in. I would have given the world to have laid my head on my grandmother's

faithful bosom, and told her all my troubles. But Dr. Flint swore he would kill me, if I was not as silent as the

grave. Then, although my grandmother was all in all to me, I feared her as well as loved her. I had been

accustomed to look up to her with a respect bordering upon awe. I was very young, and felt shamefaced about

telling her such impure things, especially as I knew her to be very strict on such subjects. Moreover, she was

a woman of a high spirit. She was usually very quiet in her demeanor; but if her indignation was once roused,

it was not very easily quelled. I had been told that she once chased a white gentleman with a loaded pistol,

because he insulted one of her daughters. I dreaded the consequences of a violent outbreak; and both pride

and fear kept me silent. But though I did not confide in my grandmother, and even evaded her vigilant

watchfulness and inquiry, her presence in the neighborhood was some protection to me. Though she had been

a slave, Dr. Flint was afraid of her. He dreaded her scorching rebukes. Moreover, she was known and

patronized by many people; and he did not wish to have his villany made public. It was lucky for me that I

did not live on a distant plantation, but in a town not so large that the inhabitants were ignorant of each other's

affairs. Bad as are the laws and customs in a slaveholding community, the doctor, as a professional man,

O, what days and nights of fear and sorrow that man caused me! Reader, it is not to awaken sympathy for

myself that I am telling you truthfully what I suffered in slavery. I do it to kindle a flame of compassion in

your hearts for my sisters who are still in bondage, suffering as I once suffered.

I once saw two beautiful children playing together. One was a fair white child; the other was her slave, and

also her sister. When I saw them embracing each other, and heard their joyous laughter, I turned sadly away

from the lovely sight. I foresaw the inevitable blight that would fall on the little slave's heart. I knew how

soon her laughter would be changed to sighs. The fair child grew up to be a still fairer woman. From

childhood to womanhood her pathway was blooming with flowers, and overarched by a sunny sky. Scarcely

one day of her life had been clouded when the sun rose on her happy bridal morning.

How had those years dealt with her slave sister, the little playmate of her childhood? She, also, was very

beautiful; but the flowers and sunshine of love were not for her. She drank the cup of sin, and shame, and

In view of these things, why are ye silent, ye free men and women of the north? Why do your tongues falter

in maintenance of the right? Would that I had more ability! But my heart is so full, and my pen is so weak!

There are noble men, and women who plead for us, striving to help those who cannot help themselves. God

bless them! God give them strength and courage to go on! God bless those, every where, who are laboring to

I WOULD ten thousand times rather that my children should be the halfstarved paupers of Ireland than to be

the most pampered among the slaves of America. I would rather drudge out my life on a cotton plantation, till

the grave opened to give me rest, than to live with an unprincipled master and a jealous mistress. The felon's

home in a penitentiary is preferable. He may repent, and turn from the error of his ways, and so find peace;

but it is not so with a favorite slave. She is not allowed to have any pride of character. It is deemed a crime in

Mrs. Flint possessed the key to her husband's character before I was born. She might have used this

knowledge to counsel and to screen the young and the innocent among her slaves; but for them she had no

sympathy. They were the objects of her constant suspicion and malevolence. She watched her husband with

unceasing vigilance; but he was well practised in means to evade it. What he could not find opportunity to

say in words he manifested in signs. He invented more than were ever thought of in a deaf and dumb asylum.

I let them pass, as if I did not understand what he meant; and many were the curses and threats bestowed on

me for my stupidity. One day he caught me teaching myself to write. He frowned, as if he was not well

pleased; but I suppose he came to the conclusion that such an accomplishment might help to advance his

favorite scheme. Before long, notes were often slipped into my hand. I would return them, saying, "I can't

read them, sir." "Can't you?" he replied; "then I must read them to you." He always finished the reading by

asking, "Do you understand?" Sometimes he would complain of the heat of the tea room, and order his

supper to be placed on a small table in the piazza. He would seat himself there with a wellsatisfied smile,

and tell me to stand by and brush away the flies. He would eat very slowly, pausing between the mouthfuls.

These intervals were employed in describing the happiness I was so foolishly throwing away, and in

threatening me with the penalty that finally awaited my stubborn disobedience. He boasted much of the

forbearance he had exercised towards me, and reminded me that there was a limit to his patience. When I

succeeded in avoiding opportunities for him to talk to me at home, I was ordered to come to his office, to do

some errand. When there, I was obliged to stand and listen to such language as he saw fit to address to me.

Sometimes I so openly expressed my contempt for him that he would become violently enraged, and I

wondered why he did not strike me. Circumstanced as he was, he probably thought it was better policy to be

forebearing. But the state of things grew worse and worse daily. In desperation I told him that I must and

would apply to my grandmother for protection. He threatened me with death, and worse than death, if I made

any complaint to her. Strange to say, I did not despair. I was naturally of a buoyant disposition, and always I

had a hope of somehow getting out of his clutches. Like many a poor, simple slave before me, I trusted that

I had entered my sixteenth year, and every day it became more apparent that my presence was intolerable to

Mrs. Flint. Angry words frequently passed between her and her husband. He had never punished me himself,

and he would not allow any body else to punish me. In that respect, she was never satisfied; but, in her angry

moods, no terms were too vile for her to bestow upon me. Yet I, whom she detested so bitterly, had far more

pity for her than he had, whose duty it was to make her life happy. I never wronged her, or wished to wrong

After repeated quarrels between the doctor and his wife, he announced his intention to take his youngest

daughter, then four years old, to sleep in his apartment. It was necessary that a servant should sleep in the

same room, to be on hand if the child stirred. I was selected for that office, and informed for what purpose

that arrangement had been made. By managing to keep within sight of people, as much as possible, during the

day time, I had hitherto succeeded in eluding my master, though a razor was often held to my throat to force

me to change this line of policy. At night I slept by the side of my great aunt, where I felt safe. He was too

prudent to come into her room. She was an old woman, and had been in the family many years. Moreover, as

a married man, and a professional man, he deemed it necessary to save appearances in some degree. But he

resolved to remove the obstacle in the way of his scheme; and he thought he had planned it so that he should

evade suspicion. He was well aware how much I prized my refuge by the side of my old aunt, and he

determined to dispossess me of it. The first night the doctor had the little child in his room alone. The next

morning, I was ordered to take my station as nurse the following night. A kind Providence .interposed in my

favor. During the day Mrs. Flint heard of this new arrangement, and a storm followed. I rejoiced to hear it

After a while my mistress sent for me to come to her room. Her first question was, "Did you know you were

"Tell me, then, as you hope to be forgiven, are you innocent of what I have accused you?"

She handed me a Bible, and said, "Lay your hand on your heart, kiss this holy book, and swear before God

"You have taken God's holy word to testify your innocence,' said she. "If you have deceived me, beware!

Now take this stool, sit down, look me directly in the face, and tell me all that has passed between your

I did as she ordered. As I went on with my account her color changed frequently, she wept, and sometimes

groaned. She spoke in tones so sad, that I was touched by her grief. The tears came to my eyes; but I was

soon convinced that her emotions arose from anger and wounded pride. She felt that her marriage vows were

desecrated, her dignity insulted; but she had no compassion for the poor victim of her husband's perfidy. She

pitied herself as a martyr; but she was incapable of feeling for the condition of shame and misery in which

Yet perhaps she had some touch of feeling for me; for when the conference was ended, she spoke kindly, and

promised to protect me. I should have been much comforted by this assurance if I could have had confidence

in it; but my experiences in slavery had filled me with distrust. She was not a very refined woman, and had

not much control over her passions. I was an object of her jealousy, and, consequently, of her hatred; and I

knew I could not expect kindness or confidence from her under the circumstances in which I was placed. I

could not blame her. Slaveholders' wives feel as other women would under similar circumstances. The fire of

her temper kindled from smallsparks, and now the flame became so intense that the doctor was obliged to

I knew I had ignited the torch, and I expected to suffer for it afterwards; but I felt too thankful to my mistress

for the timely aid she rendered me to care much about that. She now took me to sleep in a room adjoining her

own. There I was an object of her especial care, though not of her especial comfort, for she spent many a

sleepless night to watch over me. Sometimes I woke up, and found her bending over me. At other times she

whispered in my ear, as though it was her husband who was speaking to me, and listened to hear what I

would answer. If she startled me, on such occasions, she would glide stealthily away; and the next morning

she would tell me I had been talking in my sleep, and ask who I was talking to. At last, I began to be fearful

for my life. It had been often threatened; and you can imagine, better than I can describe, what an unpleasant

sensation it must produce to wake up in the dead of night and find a jealous woman bending over you.

Terrible as this experience was, I had fears that it would give place to one more terrible.

My mistress grew weary of her vigils; they did not prove satisfactory. She changed her tactics. She now tried

the trick of accusing my master of crime, in my presence, and gave my name as the author of the accusation.

To my utter astonishment, he replied, "I don't believe it; but if she did acknowledge it, you tortured her into

exposing me." Tortured into exposing him! Truly, Satan had no difficulty in distinguishing the color of his

soul! I understood his object in making this false representation. It was to show me that I gained nothing by

seeking the protection of my mistress; that the power was still all in his own hands. I pitied Mrs. Flint. She

was a second wife, many years the junior of her husband; and the hoaryheaded miscreant was enough to try

the patience of a wiser and better woman. She was completely foiled, and knew not how to proceed. She

would gladly have had me flogged for my supposed false oath; but, as I have already stated, the doctor never

allowed any one to whip me. The old sinner was politic. The application of the lash might have led to

remarks that would have exposed him in the eyes of his children and grandchildren. How often did I rejoice

that I lived in a town where all the inhabitants knew each other! If I had been on a remote plantation, or lost

among the multitude of a crowded city, I should not be a living woman at this day.

The secrets of slavery are concealed like those of the Inquisition. My master was, to my knowledge, the

father of eleven slaves. But did the mothers dare to tell who was the father of their children? Did the other

slaves dare to allude to it, except in whispers among themselves? No, indeed! They knew too well the terrible

My grandmother could not avoid seeing things which excited her suspicions. She was uneasy about me, and

tried various ways to buy me; but the neverchanging answer was always repeated: "Linda does not belong to

me. She is my daughter's property, and I have no legal right to sell her." The conscientious man! He was too

scrupulous to sell me; but he had no scruples whatever about committing a much greater wrong against the

helpless young girl placed under his guardianship, as his daughter's property. Sometimes my persecutor

would ask me whether I would like to be sold. I told him I would rather be sold to any body than to lead such

a life as I did. On such occasions he would assume the air of a very injured individual, and reproach me for

my ingratitude. "Did I not take you into the house, and make you the companion of my own children?" he

would say. "Have I ever treated you like a negro? I have never allowed you to be punished, not even to please

your mistress. And this is the recompense I get, you ungrateful girl!" I answered that he had reasons of his

own for screening me from punishment, and that the course he pursued made my mistress hate me and

persecute me. If I wept, he would say, "Poor child! Don't cry! don't cry! I will make peace for you with your

mistress. Only let me arrange matters in my own way. Poor, foolish girl! you don't know what is for your

own good. I would cherish you. I would make a lady of you. Now go, and think of all I have promised you."

Reader, I draw no imaginary pictures of southern homes. I am telling you the plain truth. Yet when victims

make their escape from this wild beast of Slavery, northerners consent to act the part of bloodhounds, and

hunt the poor fugitive back into his den, "full of dead men's bones, and all uncleanness." Nay, more, they are

not only willing, but proud, to give their daughters in marriage to slaveholders. The poor girls have romantic

notions of a sunny clime, and of the flowering vines that all the year round shade a happy home. To what

disappointments are they destined! The young wife soon learns that the husband in whose hands she has

placed her happiness pays no regard to his marriage vows. Children of every shade of complexion play with

her own fair babies, and too well she knows that they are born unto him of his own household. Jealousy and

Southern women often marry a man knowing that he is the father of many little slaves. They do not trouble

themselves about it. They regard such children as property, as marketable as the pigs on the plantation; and it

is seldom that they do not make them aware of this by passing them into the slavetrader's hands as soon as

possible, and thus getting them out of their sight. I am glad to say there are some honorable exceptions.

I have myself known two southern wives who exhorted their husbands to free those slaves towards whom

they stood in a "parental relation;" and their request was granted. These husbands blushed before the superior

nobleness of their wives' natures. Though they had only counselled them to do that which it was their duty to

do, it commanded their respect, and rendered their conduct more exemplary. Concealment was at an end, and

Though this bad institution deadens the moral sense, even in white women, to a fearful extent, it is not

altogether extinct. I have heard southern ladies say of Mr. Such a one, "He not only thinks it no disgrace to be

the father of those little niggers, but he is not ashamed to call himself their master. I declare, such things

WHY does the slave ever love? Why allow the tendrils of the heart to twine around objects which may at any

moment be wrenched away by the hand of violence? When separations come by the hand of death, the pious

soul can bow in resignation, and say, "Not my will, but thine be done, O Lord!" But when the ruthless hand

of man strikes the blow, regardless of the misery he causes, it is hard to be submissive. I did not reason thus

when I was a young girl. Youth will be youth. I loved and I indulged the hope that the dark clouds around me

would turn out a bright lining. I forgot that in the land of my birth the shadows are too dense for light to

There was in the neighborhood a young colored carpenter; a free born man. We had been well acquainted in

childhood, and frequently met together afterwards. We became mutually attached, and he proposed to marry

me. I loved him with all the ardor of a young girl's first love. But when I reflected that I was a slave, and that

the laws gave no sanction to the marriage of such, my heart sank within me. My lover wanted to buy me; but

I knew that Dr. Flint was too wilful and arbitrary a man to consent to that arrangement. From him, I was sure

of experiencing all sort of opposition, and I had nothing to hope from my mistress. She would have been

delighted to have got rid of me, but not in that way. It would have relieved her mind of a burden if she could

have seen me sold to some distant state, but if I was married near home I should be just as much in her

husband's power as I had previously been,for the husband of a slave has no power to protect her.

Moreover, my mistress, like many others, seemed to think that slaves had no right to any family ties of their

own; that they were created merely to wait upon the family of the mistress. I once heard her abuse a young

slave girl, who told her that a colored man wanted to make her his wife. "I will have you peeled and pickled,

my lady," said she, "if I ever hear you mention that subject again. Do you suppose that I will have you

tending my children with the children of that nigger?" The girl to whom she said this had a mulatto child, of

course not acknowledged by its father. The poor black man who loved her would have been proud to

Many and anxious were the thoughts I revolved in my mind. I was at a loss what to do. Above all things, I

was desirous to spare my lover the insults that had cut so deeply into my own soul. I talked with my

grandmother about it, and partly told her my fears. I did not dare to tell her the worst. She had long suspected

all was not right, and if I confirmed her suspicions I knew a storm would rise that would prove the overthrow

This lovedream had been my support through many trials; and I could not bear to run the risk of having it

suddenly dissipated. There was a lady in the neighborhood, a particular friend of Dr. Flint's, who often visited

the house. I had a great respect for her, and she had always manifested a friendly interest in me. Grandmother

thought she would have great influence with the doctor. I went to this lady, and told her my story. I told her I

was aware that my lover's being a freeborn man would prove a great objection; but he wanted to buy me;

and if Dr. Flint would consent to that arrangement, I felt sure he would be willing to pay any reasonable

price. She knew that Mrs. Flint disliked me; therefore, I ventured to suggest that perhaps my mistress would

approve of my being sold, as that would rid her of me. The lady listened with kindly sympathy, and promised

to do her utmost to promote my wishes. She had an interview with the doctor, and I believe she pleaded my

How I dreaded my master now! Every minute I expected to be summoned to his presence; but the day passed,

and I heard nothing from him. The next morning, a message was brought to me: "Master wants you in his

study." I found the door ajar, and I stood a moment gazing at the hateful man who claimed a right to rule me,

body and soul. I entered, and tried to appear calm. I did not want him to know how my heart was bleeding.

He looked fixedly at me, with an expression which seemed to say, �I have half a mind to kill you on the

"Well, I'll soon convince you whether I am your master, or the nigger fellow you honor so highly. If you must

What a situation I should be in, as the wife of one of his slaves, even if my heart had been interested!

I replied, "Don't you suppose, sir, that a slave can have some preference about marrying? Do you suppose

"How dare you tell me so!" he exclaimed, in great wrath. After a slight pause, he added, "I supposed you

I replied, "If he is a puppy I am a puppy, for we are both of the negro race. It is right and honorable for us to

love each other. The man you call a puppy never insulted me, sir; and he would not love me if he did not

He sprang upon me like a tiger, and gave me a stunning blow. It was the first time he had ever struck me; and

fear did not enable me to control my anger. When I had recovered a little from the effects, I exclaimed, "You

There was silence for some minutes. Perhaps he was deciding what should be my punishment; or, perhaps, he

wanted to give me time to reflect on what I had said, and to whom I had said it. Finally, he asked, "Do you

"Do you know that I have a right to do as I like with you, that I can kill you, if I please?"

"You have tried to kill me, and I wish you had; but you have no right to do as you like with me."

"Silence!" he exclaimed, in a thundering voice. "By heavens, girl, you forget yourself too far! Are you mad?

If you are, I will soon bring you to your senses. Do you think any other master would bear what I have borne

from you this morning? Many masters would have killed you on the spot. How would you like to be sent to

"I know I have been disrespectful, sir," I replied; "but you drove me to it; I couldn't help it. As for the jail,

"You deserve to go there," said he, "and to be under such treatment, that you would forget the meaning of the

word peace. It would do you good. It would take some of your high notions out of you. But I am not ready to

send you there yet, notwithstanding your ingratitude for all my kindness and forbearance. You have been the

plague of my life. I have wanted to make you happy, and I have been repaid with the basest ingratitude; but

though you have proved yourself incapable of appreciating my kindness, I will be lenient towards you, Linda.

I will give you one more chance to redeem your character. If you behave yourself and do as I require, I will

forgive you and treat you as I always have done; but if you disobey me, I will punish you as I would the

meanest slave on my plantation. Never let me hear that fellow's name mentioned again. If I ever know of

your speaking to him, I will cowhide you both; and if I catch him lurking about my premises, I will shoot him

as soon as I would a dog. Do you hear what I say? I'll teach you a lesson about marriage and free niggers!

Now go, and let this be the last time I have occasion to speak to you on this subject."

Reader, did you ever hate? I hope not. I never did but once; and I trust I never shall again. Somebody has

For a fortnight the doctor did not speak to me. He thought to mortify me; to make me feel that I had disgraced

myself by receiving the honorable addresses of a respectable colored man, in preference to the base proposals

of a white man. But though his lips disdained to address me, his eyes were very loquacious, No animal ever

watched its prey more narrowly than he watched me. He knew that I could write, though he had failed to

make me read his letters; and he was now troubled lest I should exchange letters with another man. After a

while he became weary of silence; and I was sorry for it. One morning, as he passed through the hall, to leave

the house, he contrived to thrust a note into my hand. I thought I had better read it, and spare myself the

vexation of having him read it to me. It expressed regret for the blow he had given me, and reminded me that

I myself was wholly to blame for it. He hoped I had become convinced of the injury I was doing myself by

incurring his displeasure. He wrote that he had made up his mind to go to Louisiana; that he should take

several slaves with him, and intended I should be one of the number. My mistress would remain where she

was; therefore I should have nothing to fear from that quarter. If I merited kindness from him, he assured me

that it would be lavishly bestowed. He begged me to think over the matter, and answer the following day.

The next morning I was called to carry a pair of scissors to his room. I laid them on the table, with the letter

beside them. He thought it was my answer, and did not call me back. I went as usual to attend my young

mistress to and from school. He met me in the street, and ordered me to stop at his office on my way back.

When I entered, he showed me his letter, and asked me why I had not answered it. I replied, "I am your

daughter's property, and it is in your power to send me, or take me, wherever you please." He said he was

very glad to find me so willing to go, and that we should start early in the autumn. He had a large practice in

the town, and I rather thought he had made up the story merely to frighten me. However that might be, I was

Summer passed away, and early in the autumn Dr. Flint's eldest son was sent to Louisiana to examine the

country, with a view to emigrating. That news did not disturb me. I knew very well that I should not be sent

with him. That I had not been taken to the plantation before this time, was owing to the fact that his son was

there. He was jealous of his son; and jealousy of the overseer had kept him from punishing me by sending me

into the fields to work. Is it strange that I was not proud of these protectors? As for the overseer, he was a

Young Mr. Flint did not bring back a favorable report of Louisiana, and I heard no more of that scheme. Soon

after this, my lover met me at the corner of the street, and I stopped to speak to him. Looking up, I saw my

master watching us from his window. I hurried home, trembling with fear. I was sent for, immediately, to go

to his room. He met me with a blow. "When is mistress to be married?" said he, in a sneering tone. A shower

of oaths and imprecations followed. How thankful I was that my lover was a free man! that my tyrant had no

Again and again I revolved in my mind how all this would end. There was no hope that the doctor would

consent to sell me on any terms. He had an iron will, and was determined to keep me, and to conquer me. My

lover was an intelligent and religious man. Even if he could have obtained permission to marry me while I

was a slave, the marriage would give him no power to protect me from my master. It would have made him

miserable to witness the insults I should have been subjected to. And then, if we had children, I knew they

must "follow the condition of the mother." What a terrible blight that would be on the heart of a free,

intelligent father! For his sake, I felt that I ought not to link his fate with my own unhappy destiny. He was

going to Savannah to see about a little property left him by an uncle; and hard as it was to bring my feelings

to it, I earnestly entreated him not to come back. I advised him to go to the Free States, where his tongue

would not be tied, and where his intelligence would be of more avail to him. He left me, still hoping the day

would come when I could be bought. With me the lamp of hope had gone out. The dream of my girlhood was

Still I was not stripped of all. I still had my good grandmother, and my affectionate brother. When he put his

arms round my neck, and looked into my eyes, as if to read there the troubles I dared not tell, I felt that I still

had something to love. But even that pleasant emotion was chilled by the reflection that he might be torn

from me at any moment, by some sudden freak of my master. If he had known how we loved each other, I

think he would have exulted in separating us. We often planned together how we could get to the north. But,

as William remarked, such things are easier said than done. My movements were very closely watched, and

we had no means of getting any money to defray our expenses. As for grandmother, she was strongly

opposed to her children's undertaking any such project. She had not forgotten poor Benjamin's sufferings, and

she was afraid that if another child tried to escape, he would have a similar or a worse fate. To me, nothing

seemed more dreadful than my present life. I said to myself, "William must be free. He shall go to the north,

SLAVEHOLDERS pride themselves upon being honorable men; but if you were to hear the enormous lies

they tell their slaves, you would have small respect for their veracity. I have spoken plain English. Pardon

me. I cannot use a milder term. When they visit the north, and return home, they tell their slaves of the

runaways they have seen, and describe them to be in the most deplorable condition. A slaveholder once told

me that he had seen a runaway friend of mine in New York, and that she besought him to take her back to her

master, for she was literally dying of starvation; that many days she had only one cold potato to eat, and at

other times could get nothing at all. He said he refused to take her, because he knew her master would not

thank him for bringing such a miserable wretch to his house. He ended by saying to me, "This is the

This whole story was false. I afterwards staid with that friend in New York, and found her in comfortable

circumstances. She had never thought of such a thing as wishing to go back to slavery. Many of the slaves

believe such stories, and think it is not worth while to exchange slavery for such a hard kind of freedom. It is

difficult to persuade such that freedom could make them useful men, and enable them to protect their wives

and children. If those heathen in our Christian land had as much teaching as some Hindoos, they would think

otherwise. They would know that liberty is more valuable than life. They would begin to understand their

But while the Free States sustain a law which hurls fugitives back into slavery, how can the slaves resolve to

become men? There are some who strive to protect wives and daughters from the insults of their masters; but

those who have such sentiments have had advantages above the general mass of slaves. They have been

partially civilized and Christianized by favorable circumstances. Some are bold enough to utter such

Some poor creatures have been so brutalized by the lash that they will sneak out of the way to give their

masters free access to their wives and daughters. Do you think this proves the black man to belong to an

inferior order of beings? What would you be, if you had been born and brought up a slave, with generations

of slaves for ancestors? I admit that the black man is inferior. But what is it that makes him so? It is the

ignorance in which white men compel him to live; it is the torturing whip that lashes manhood out of him; it

is the fierce bloodhounds of the South, and the scarcely less cruel human bloodhounds of the north, who

Southern gentlemen indulge in the most contemptuous expressions about the Yankees, while they, on their

part, consent to do the vilest work for them, such as the ferocious bloodhounds and the despised

negrohunters are employed to do at home. When southerners go to the north, they are proud to do them

honor; but the northern man is not welcome south of Mason and Dixon's line, unless he suppresses every

thought and feeling at variance with their "peculiar institution." Nor is it enough to be silent. The masters are

not pleased, unless they obtain a greater degree of subservience than that; and they are generally

accommodated. Do they respect the northerner for this? I trow not. Even the slaves despise "a northern man

with southern principles;" and that is the class they generally see. When northerners go to the south to reside,

they prove very apt scholars. They soon imbibe the sentiments and disposition of their neighbors, and

generally go beyond their teachers. Of the two, they are proverbially the hardest masters.

They seem to satisfy their consciences with the doctrine that God created the Africans to be slaves. What a

libel upon the heavenly Father, who "made of one blood all nations of men!" And then who are Africans?

Who can measure the amount of AngloSaxon blood coursing in the veins of American slaves?

I have spoken of the pains slaveholders take to give their slaves a bad opinion of the north; but,

notwithstanding this, intelligent slaves are aware that they have many friends in the Free States. Even the

most ignorant have some confused notions about it. They knew that I could read; and I was often asked if I

had seen any thing in the newspapers about white folks over in the big north, who were trying to get their

freedom for them. Some believe that the abolitionists have already made them free, and that it is established

by law, but that their masters prevent the law from going into effect. One woman begged me to get a

newspaper and read it over. She said her husband told her that the black people had sent word to the queen of

'Merica that they were all slaves; that she didn't believe it, and went to Washington city to see the president

about it. They quarrelled; she drew her sword upon him, and swore that he should help her to make them all

That poor, ignorant woman thought that America was governed by a Queen, to whom the President was

THERE was a planter in the country, not far from us, whom I will call Mr. Litch. He was an illbred,

uneducated man, but very wealthy. He had six hundred slaves, many of whom he did not know by sight. His

extensive plantation was managed by wellpaid overseers. There was a jail and a whipping post on his

grounds; and whatever cruelties were perpetrated there, they passed without comment. He was so effectually

screened by his great wealth that he was called to no account for his crimes, not even for murder.

Various were the punishments resorted to. A favorite one was to tie a rope round a man's body, and suspend

him from the ground. A fire was kindled over him, from which was suspended a piece of fat pork. As this

cooked, the scalding drops of fat continually fell on the bare flesh. On his own plantation, he required very

strict obedience to the eighth commandment. But depredations on the neighbors were allowable, provided the

culprit managed to evade detection or suspicion. If a neighbor brought a charge of theft against any of his

slaves, he was browbeaten by the master, who assured him that his slaves had enough of every thing at home,

and had no inducement to steal. No sooner was the neighbor's back turned, than the accused was sought out,

and whipped for his lack of discretion. If a slave stole from him even a pound of meat or a peck of corn, if

detection followed, he was put in chains and imprisoned, and so kept till his form was attenuated by hunger

A freshet once bore his wine cellar and meat house miles away from the plantation. Some slaves followed,

and secured bits of meat and bottles of wine. Two were detected; a ham and some liquor being found in their

huts. They were summoned by their master. No words were used, but a club felled them to the ground. A

rough box was their coffin, and their interment was a dog's burial. Nothing was said.

Murder was so common on his plantation that he feared to be alone after nightfall. He might have believed in

His brother, if not equal in wealth, was at least equal in cruelty. His bloodhounds were well trained. Their pen

was spacious, and a terror to the slaves. They were let loose on a runaway, and, if they tracked him, they

literally tore the flesh from his bones. When this slaveholder died, his shrieks and groans were so frightful

that they appalled his own friends. His last words were, "I am going to hell; bury my money with me."

After death his eyes remained open. To press the lids down, silver dollars were laid on them. These were

buried with him. From this circumstance, a rumor went abroad that his coffin was filled with money. Three

times his grave was opened, and his coffin taken out. The last time, his body was found on the ground, and a

flock of buzzards were pecking at it. He was again interred, and a sentinel set over his grave. The perpetrators

Cruelty is contagious in uncivilized communities. Mr. Conant, a neighbor of Mr. Litch, returned from town

one evening in a partial state of intoxication. His body servant gave him some offence. He was divested of his

clothes, except his shirt, whipped, and tied to a large tree in front of the house. It was a stormy night in

winter. The wind blew bitterly cold, and the boughs of the old tree crackled under falling sleet. A member of

the family, fearing he would freeze to death, begged that he might be taken down; but the master would not

relent. He remained there three hours; and, when he was cut down, he was more dead than alive. Another

slave, who stole a pig from this master, to appease his hunger, was terribly flogged. In desperation, he tried to

run away. But at the end of two miles, he was so faint with loss of blood, he thought he was dying, He had a

wife, and he longed to see her once more. Too sick to walk, he crept back that long distance on his hands and

knees. When he reached his master's, it was night. He had not strength to rise and open the gate. He moaned,

and tried to call for help. I had a friend living in the same family. At last his cry reached her. She went out

and found the prostrate man at the gate. She ran back to the house for assistance, and two men returned with

her. They carried him in, and laid him on the floor. The back of his shirt was one clot of blood. By means of

lard, my friend loosened it from the raw flesh. She bandaged him, gave him cool drink, and left him to rest.

The master said he deserved a hundred more lashes. When his own labor was stolen from him, he had stolen

Another neighbor was a Mrs. Wade. At no hour of the day was there cessation of the lash on her premises.

Her labors began with the dawn, and did not cease till long after nightfall. The barn was her particular place

of torture. There she lashed the slaves with the might of a man. An old slave of hers once said to me, "It is

hell in missis's house. 'Pears I can never get out. Day and night I prays to die."

The mistress died before the old woman, and, when dying, entreated her husband not to permit any one of her

slaves to look on her after death. A slave who had nursed her children, and had still a child in her care,

watched her chance, and stole with it in her arms to the room where lay her dead mistress. She gazed a while

on her, then raised her hand and dealt two blows on her face, saying, as she did so, "The devil is got you

now!" She forgot that the child was looking on. She had just begun to talk; and she said to her father, "I did

see ma, and mammy did strike ma, so," striking her own face with her little hand. The master was startled. He

could not imagine how the nurse could obtain access to the room where the corpse lay; for he kept the door

locked. He questioned her. She confessed that what the child had said was true, and told how she had

In my childhood I knew a valuable slave, named Charity and loved her, as all children did. Her young

mistress married, and took her to Louisiana. Her little boy, James, was sold to a good sort of master. He

became involved in debt, and James was sold again to a wealthy slaveholder, noted for his cruelty. With this

man he grew up to manhood, receiving the treatment of a dog. After a severe whipping, to save himself from

further infliction of the lash, with which he was threatened, he took to the woods. He was in a most miserable

conditioncut by the cowskin, half naked, half starved, and without the means of procuring a crust of

Some weeks after his escape, he was captured, tied, and carried back to his master's plantation. This man

considered punishment in his jail, on bread and water, after receiving hundreds of lashes, too mild for the

poor slave's offence. Therefore he decided, after the overseer should have whipped him to his satisfaction, to

have him placed between the screws of the cotton gin, to stay as long as he had been in the woods. This

wretched creature was cut with the whip from his head to his feet, then washed with strong brine, to prevent

the flesh from mortifying, and make it heal sooner than it otherwise would. He was then put into the cotton

gin, which was screwed down, only allowing him room to turn on his side when he could not lie on his back.

Every morning a slave was sent with a piece of bread and bowl of water, which were placed within reach of

the poor fellow. The slave was charged, under penalty of severe punishment, not to speak to him.

Four days passed, and the slave continued to carry the bread and water. On the second morning, he found the

bread gone, but the water untouched. When he had been in the press four days and five night, the slave

informed his master that the water had not been used for four mornings, and that a horrible stench came from

the gin house. The overseer was sent to examine into it. When the press was unscrewed, the dead body was

found partly eaten by rats and vermin. Perhaps the rats that devoured his bread had gnawed him before life

was extinct. Poor Charity! Grandmother and I often asked each other how her affectionate heart would bear

the news, if she should ever hear of the murder of her son. We had known her husband, and knew that James

was like him in manliness and intelligence. These were the qualities that made it so hard for him to be a

plantation slave. They put him into a rough box, and buried him with less feeling than would have been

manifested for an old house dog. Nobody asked any questions. He was a slave; and the feeling was that the

master had a right to do what he pleased with his own property. And what did he care for the value of a

slave? He had hundreds of them. When they had finished their daily toil, they must hurry to eat their little

morsels, and be ready to extinguish their pine knots before nine o'clock, when the overseer went his patrol

rounds. He entered every cabin, to see that men and their wives had gone to bed together, lest the men, from

overfatigue, should fall asleep in the chimney corner, and remain there till the morning horn called them to

their daily task. Women are considered of no value, unless they continually increase their owner's stock. They

are put on a par with animals. This same master shot a woman through the head, who had run away and been

brought back to him. No one called him to account for it. If a slave resisted being whipped, the bloodhounds

were unpacked, and set upon him, to tear his flesh from his bones. The master who did these things was

highly educated, and styled a perfect gentleman. He also boasted the name and standing of a Christian,

I could tell of more slaveholders as cruel as those I have described. They are not exceptions to the general

rule. I do not say there are no humane slaveholders. Such characters do exist, notwithstanding the hardening

I knew a young lady who was one of these rare specimens. She was an orphan, and inherited as slaves a

woman and her six children. Their father was a free man. They had a comfortable home of their own, parents

and children living together. The mother and eldest daughter served their mistress during the day, and at night

returned to their dwelling, which was on the premises. The young lady was very pious, and there was some

reality in her religion. She taught her slaves to lead pure lives, and wished them to enjoy the fruit of their own

industry. Her religion was not a garb put on for Sunday, and laid aside till Sunday returned again. The eldest

daughter of the slave mother was promised in marriage to a free man; and the day before the wedding this

good mistress emancipated her, in order that her marriage might have the sanction of law.

Report said that this young lady cherished an unrequited affection for a man who had resolved to marry for

wealth. In the course of time a rich uncle of hers died. He left six thousand dollars to his two sons by a

colored woman, and the remainder of his property to this orphan niece. The metal soon attracted the magnet.

The lady and her weighty purse became his. She offered to manumit her slavestelling them that her

marriage might make unexpected changes in their destiny, and she wished to insure their happiness. They

refused to take their freedom, saying that she had always been their best friend, and they could not be so

happy any where as with her. I was not surprised. I had often seen them in their comfortable home, and

thought that the whole town did not contain a happier family. They had never felt slavery; and, when it was

When the new master claimed this family as his property, the father became furious, and went to his mistress

for protection. "I can do nothing for you now, Harry," said she. "I no longer have the power I had a week ago.

I have succeeded in obtaining the freedom of your wife; but I cannot obtain it for your children." The

unhappy father swore that nobody should take his children from him. He concealed them in the woods for

some days; but they were discovered and taken. The father was put in jail, and the two oldest boys sold to

Georgia. One little girl, too young to be of service to her master, was left with the wretched mother. The other

three were carried to their master's plantation. The eldest soon became a mother; and, when the slaveholder's

wife looked at the babe, she wept bitterly. She knew that her own husband had violated the purity she had so

carefully inculcated. She had a second child by her master, and then he sold her and his offspring to his

brother. She bore two children to the brother, and was sold again. The next sister went crazy. The life she was

compelled to lead drove her mad. The third one became the mother of five daughters. Before the birth of the

fourth the pious mistress died. To the last, she rendered every kindness to the slaves that her unfortunate

circumstances permitted. She passed away peacefully, glad to close her eyes on a life which had been made

This man squandered the fortune he had received, and sought to retrieve his affairs by a second marriage; but,

having retired after a night of drunken debauch, he was found dead in the morning. He was called a good

master; for he fed and clothed his slaves better than most masters, and the lash was not heard on his

plantation so frequently as on many others. Had it not been for slavery, he would have been a better man, and

No pen can give an adequate description of the allpervading corruption produced by slavery. The slave girl

is reared in an atmosphere of licentiousness and fear. The lash and the foul talk of her master and his sons are

her teachers. When she is fourteen or fifteen, her owner, or his sons, or the overseer, or perhaps all of them,

begin to bribe her with presents. If these fail to accomplish their purpose, she is whipped or starved into

submission to their will. She may have had religious principles inculcated by some pious mother or

grandmother, or some good mistress; she may have a lover, whose good opinion and peace of mind are dear

to her heart; or the profligate men who have power over her may be exceedingly odious to her. But resistance

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .The poor worm Shall prove her contest vain. Life's little day Shall pass,

The slaveholder's sons are, of course, vitiated, even while boys, by the unclean influences every where

around them. Nor do the master's daughters always escape. Severe retributions sometimes come upon him for

the wrongs he does to the daughters of the slaves. The white daughters early hear their parents quarrelling

about some female slave. Their curiosity is excited, and they soon learn the cause. They are attended by the

young slave girls whom their father has corrupted; and they hear such talk as should never meet youthful

ears, or any other ears. They know that the women slaves are subject to their father's authority in all things;

and in some cases they exercise the same authority over the men slaves. I have myself seen the master of such

a household whose head was bowed down in shame; for it was known in the neighborhood that his daughter

had selected one of the meanest slaves on his plantation to be the father of his first grandchild. She did not

make her advances to her equals, nor even to her father's more intelligent servants. She selected the most

brutalized, over whom her authority could be exercised with less fear of exposure. Her father, half frantic

with rage, sought to revenge himself on the offending black man; but his daughter, foreseeing the storm that

In such cases the infant is smothered, or sent where it is never seen by any who know its history. But if the

white parent is the father, instead of the mother, the offspring are unblushingly reared for the market. If they

are girls, I have indicated plainly enough what will be their inevitable destiny.

You may believe what I say; for I write only that whereof I know. I was twentyone years in that cage of

obscene birds. I can testify, from my own experience and observation, that slavery is a curse to the whites as

well as to the blacks. It makes the white fathers cruel and sensual; the sons violent and licentious; it

contaminates the daughters, and makes the wives wretched. And as for the colored race, it needs an abler pen

than mine to describe the extremity of their sufferings, the depth of their degradation.

Yet few slaveholders seem to be aware of the widespread moral ruin occasioned by this wicked system.

Their talk is of blighted cotton cropsnot of the blight on their children's souls.

If you want to be fully convinced of the abominations of slavery, go on a southern plantation, and call

yourself a negro trader. Then there will be no concealment; and you will see and hear things that will seem to

AFTER my lover went away, Dr. Flint contrived a new plan. He seemed to have an idea that my fear of my

mistress was his greatest obstacle. In the blandest tones, he told me that he was going to build a small house

for me, in a secluded place, four miles away from the town. I shuddered; but I was constrained to listen, while

he talked of his intention to give me a home of my own, and to make a lady of me. Hitherto, I had escaped

my dreaded fate, by being in the midst of people. My grandmother had already had high words with my

master about me. She had told him pretty plainly what she thought of his character, and there was

considerable gossip in the neighborhood about our affairs, to which the openmouthed jealousy of Mrs. Flint

contributed not a little. When my master said he was going to build a house for me, and that he could do it

with little trouble and expense, I was in hopes something would happen to frustrate his scheme; but I soon

heard that the house was actually begun. I vowed before my Maker that I would never enter it. I had rather

toil on the plantation from dawn till dark; I had rather live and die in jail, than drag on, from day to day,

through such a living death. I was determined that the master, whom I so hated and loathed, who had blighted

the prospects of my youth, and made my life a desert, should not, after my long struggle with him, succeed at

last in trampling his victim under his feet. I would do any thing, every thing, for the sake of defeating him.

What could I do? I thought and thought, till I became desperate, and made a plunge into the abyss.

And now, reader, I come to a period in my unhappy life, which I would gladly forget if I could. The

remembrance fills me with sorrow and shame. It pains me to tell you of it; but I have promised to tell you the

truth, and I will do it honestly, let it cost me what it may. I will not try to screen myself behind the plea of

compulsion from a master; for it was not so. Neither can I plead ignorance or thoughtlessness. For years, my

master had done his utmost to pollute my mind with foul images, and to destroy the pure principles

inculcated by my grandmother, and the good mistress of my childhood. The influences of slavery had had the

same effect on me that they had on other young girls; they had made me prematurely knowing, concerning

the evil ways of the world. I knew what I did, and I did it with deliberate calculation.

Buy, O, ye happy women, whose purity has been sheltered from childhood, who have been free to choose the

objects of your affection, whose homes are protected by law, do not judge the poor desolate slave girl too

severely! If slavery had been abolished, I, also, could have married the man of my choice; I could have had a

home shielded by the laws; and I should have been spared the painful task of confessing what I am now about

to relate; but all my prospects had been blighted by slavery. I wanted to keep myself pure; and, under the

most adverse circumstances, I tried hard to preserve my selfrespect; but I was struggling alone in the

powerful grasp of the demon Slavery; and the monster proved too strong for me. I felt as if I was forsaken by

God and man; as if all my efforts must be frustrated; and I became reckless in my despair.

I have told you that Dr. Flint's persecutions and his wife's jealousy had given rise to some gossip in the

neighborhood. Among others, it chanced that a white unmarried gentleman had obtained some knowledge of

the circumstances in which I was placed. He knew my grandmother, and often spoke to me in the street. He

became interested for me, and asked questions about my master, which I answered in part. He expressed a

great deal of sympathy, and a wish to aid me. He constantly sought opportunities to see me, and wrote to me

So much attention from a superior person was, of course, flattering; for human nature is the same in all. I also

felt grateful for his sympathy, and encouraged by his kind words. It seemed to me a great thing to have such a

friend. By degrees, a more tender feeling crept into my heart. He was an educated and eloquent gentleman;

too eloquent, alas, for the poor slave girl who trusted in him. Of course I saw whither all this was tending. I

knew the impassable gulf between us; but to be an object of interest to a man who is not married, and who is

not her master, is agreeable to the pride and feelings of a slave, if her miserable situation has left her any

pride or sentiment. It seems less degrading to give one's self, than to submit to compulsion. There is

something akin to freedom in having a lover who has no control over you, except that which he gains by

kindness and attachment. A master may treat you as rudely as he pleases, and you dare not speak; moreover,

the wrong does not seem so great with an unmarried man, as with one who has a wife to be made unhappy.

There may be sophistry in all this; but the condition of a slave confuses all principles of morality, and, in fact,

When I found that my master had actually begun to build the lonely cottage, other feelings mixed with those I

have described. Revenge, and calculations of interest, were added to flattered vanity and sincere gratitude for

kindness. I knew nothing would enrage Dr. Flint so much as to know that I favored another; and it was

something to triumph over my tyrant even in that small way. I thought he would revenge himself by selling

me, and I was sure my friend, Mr. Sands, would buy me. He was a man of more generosity and feeling than

my master, and I thought my freedom could be easily obtained from him. The crisis of my fate now came so

near that I was desperate. I shuddered to think of being the mother of children that should be owned by my

old tyrant. I knew that as soon as a new fancy took him, his victims were sold far off to get rid of them;

especially if they had children. I had seen several women sold, with babies at the breast. He never allowed his

offspring by slaves to remain long in sight of himself and his wife. Of a man who was not my master I could

ask to have my children well supported; and in this case, I felt confident I should obtain the boon. I also felt

quite sure that they would be made free. With all these thoughts revolving in my mind, and seeing no other

way of escaping the doom I so much dreaded, I made a headlong plunge. Pity me, and pardon me, O virtuous

reader! You never knew what it is to be a slave; to be entirely unprotected by law or custom; to have the laws

reduce you to the condition of a chattel, entirely subject to the will of another. You never exhausted your

ingenuity in avoiding the snares, and eluding the power of a hated tyrant; you never shuddered at the sound of

his footsteps, and trembled within hearing of his voice. I know I did wrong. No one can feel it more sensibly

than I do. The painful and humiliating memory will haunt me to my dying day. Still, in looking back, calmly,

on the events of my life, I feel that the slave woman ought not to be judged by the same standard as others.

The months passed on. I had many unhappy hours. I secretly mourned over the sorrow I was bringing on my

grandmother, who had so tried to shield me from harm. I knew that I was the greatest comfort of her old age,

and that it was a source of pride to her that I had not degraded myself, like most of the slaves. I wanted to

confess to her that I was no longer worthy of her love; but I could not utter the dreaded words.

As for Dr. Flint, I had a feeling of satisfaction and triumph in the thought of telling him. From time to time he

told me of his intended arrangements, and I was silent. At last, he came and told me the cottage was

completed, and ordered me to go to it. I told him I would never enter it. He said, "I have heard enough of

such talk as that. You shall go, if you are carried by force; and you shall remain there."

He stood and looked at me in dumb amazement, and left the house without a word. I thought I should be

happy in my triumph over him. But now that the truth was out, and my relatives would hear of it, I felt

wretched. Humble as were their circumstances, they had pride in my good character. Now, how could I look

them in the face? My selfrespect was gone! I had resolved that I would be virtuous, though I was a slave. I

had said, "Let the storm beat! I will brave it till I die." And now, how humiliated I felt!

I went to my grandmother. My lips moved to make confession, but the words stuck in my throat. I sat down

in the shade of a tree at her door and began to sew. I think she saw something unusual was the matter with

me. The mother of slaves is very watchful. She knows there is no security for her children. After they have

entered their teens she lives in daily expectation of trouble. This leads to many questions. If the girl is of a

sensitive nature, timidity keeps her from answering truthfully, and this wellmeant course has a tendency to

drive her from maternal counsels. Presently, in came my mistress, like a mad woman, and accused me

concerning her husband. My grandmother, whose suspicions had been previously awakened, believed what

she said. She exclaimed, "O Linda! has it come to this? I had rather see you dead than to see you as you now

are. You are a disgrace to your dead mother." She tore from my fingers my mother's wedding ring and her

silver thimble. "Go away!" she exclaimed, "and never come to my house, again." Her reproaches fell so hot

and heavy, that they left me no chance to answer. Bitter tears, such as the eyes never shed but once, were my

only answer. I rose from my seat, but fell back again, sobbing. She did not speak to me; but the tears were

running down her furrowed cheeks, and they scorched me like fire. She had always been so kind to me! So

kind! How I longed to throw myself at her feet, and tell her all the truth! But she had ordered me to go, and

never to come there again. After a few minutes, I mustered strength, and started to obey her. With what

feelings did I now close that little gate, which I used to open with such an eager hand in my childhood! It

Where could I go? I was afraid to return to my master's. I walked on recklessly, not caring where I went, or

what would become of me. When I had gone four or five miles, fatigue compelled me to stop. I sat down on

the stump of an old tree. The stars were shining through the boughs above me. How they mocked me, with

their bright, calm light! The hours passed by, and as I sat there alone a chilliness and deadly sickness came

over me. I sank on the ground. My mind was full of horrid thoughts. I prayed to die; but the prayer was not

answered. At last, with great effort I roused myself, and walked some distance further, to the house of a

woman who had been a friend of my mother. When I told her why I was there, she spoke soothingly to me;

but I could not be comforted. I thought I could bear my shame if I could only be reconciled to my

grandmother. I longed to open my heart to her. I thought if she could know the real state of the case, and all I

had been bearing for years, she would perhaps judge me less harshly. My friend advised me to send for her. I

did so; but days of agonizing suspense passed before she came. Had she utterly forsaken me? No. She came

at last. I knelt before her, and told her the things that had poisoned my life; how long I had been persecuted;

that I saw no way of escape; and in an hour of extremity I had become desperate. She listened in silence. I

told her I would bear any thing and do any thing, if in time I had hopes of obtaining her forgiveness. I begged

of her to pity me, for my dead mother's sake. And she did pity me. She did not say, "I forgive you;" but she

looked at me lovingly, with her eyes full of tears. She laid her old hand gently on my head, and murmured,

I RETURNED to my good grandmother's house. She had an interview with Mr. Sands. When she asked him

why he could not have left her one ewe lamb,whether there were not plenty of slaves who did not care

about character,he made no answer; but he spoke kind and encouraging words. He promised to care for my

I had not seen Dr. Flint for five days. I had never seen him since I made the avowal to him. He talked of the

disgrace I had brought on myself; how I had sinned against my master, and mortified my old grandmother.

He intimated that if I had accepted his proposals, he, as a physician, could have saved me from exposure. He

even condescended to pity me. Could he have offered wormwood more bitter? He, whose persecutions had

"Linda," said he, "though you have been criminal towards me, I feel for you, and I can pardon you if you

obey my wishes. Tell me whether the fellow you wanted to marry is the father of your child. If you deceive

I did not feel as proud as I had done. My strongest weapon with him was gone. I was lowered in my own

estimation, and had resolved to bear his abuse in silence. But when he spoke contemptuously of the lover

who had always treated me honorably; when I remembered that but for him I might have been a virtuous,

free, and happy wife, I lost my patience. "I have sinned against God and myself," I replied; "but not against

He clinched his teeth, and muttered, "Curse you!" He came towards me, with illsuppressed rage, and

exclaimed, "You obstinate girl! I could grind your bones to powder! You have thrown yourself away on some

worthless rascal. You are weakminded, and have been easily persuaded by those who don't care a straw for

you. The future will settle accounts between us. You are blinded now; but hereafter you will be convinced

that your master was your best friend. My lenity towards you is a proof of it. I might have punished you in

many ways. I might have whipped till you fell dead under the lash. But I wanted you to live; I would have

bettered your condition. Others cannot do it. You are my slave. Your mistress, disgusted by your conduct,

forbids you to return to the house; therefore I leave you here for the present; but I shall see you often. I will

He came with frowning brows, that showed a dissatisfied state of mind. After asking about my health, he

inquired whether my board was paid, and who visited me. He then went on to say that he had neglected his

duty; that as a physician there were certain things that he ought to have explained to me. Then followed talk

such as would have made the most shameless blush. He ordered me to stand up before him. I obeyed. "I

command you," said he, "to tell me whether the father of your child is white or black." I hesitated. "Answer

me this instant!" he exclaimed. I did answer. He sprang upon me like a wolf, and grabbed my arm as if he

He raised his hand to strike me; but it fell again. I don't know what arrested the blow. He sat down, with lips

tightly compressed. At last he spoke. "I came here," said he, "to make you a friendly proposition; but your

ingratitude chafes me beyond endurance. You turn aside all my good intentions towards you. I don't know

what it is that keeps me from killing you." Again he rose, as if he had a mind to strike me.

But he resumed. "On one condition I will forgive your insolence and crime. You must henceforth have no

communication of any kind with the father of your child. You must not ask any thing from him, or receive

any thing from him. I will take care of you and your child. You had better promise this at once, and not wait

till you are deserted by him. This is the last act of mercy I shall show towards you."

I said something about being unwilling to have my child supported by a man who had cursed it and me also.

He rejoined, that a woman who had sunk to my level had no right to expect any thing else. He asked, for the

"Very well," said he; "then take the consequences of your wayward course. Never look to me for help. You

are my slave, and shall always be my slave. I will never sell you, that you may depend upon."

Hope died away in my heart as he closed the door after him. I had calculated that in his rage he would sell me

About this time my uncle Phillip was expected to return from a voyage. The day before his departure I had

officiated as bridesmaid to a young friend. My heart was then ill at ease, but my smiling countenance did not

betray it. Only a year had passed; but what fearful changes it had wrought! My heart had grown gray in

misery. Lives that flash in sunshine, and lives that are born in tears, receive their hue from circumstances.

I felt no joy when they told me my uncle had come. He wanted to see me, though he knew what had

happened. I shrank from him at first; but at last consented that he should come to my room. He received me

as he always had done. O, how my heart smote me when I felt his tears on my burning cheeks! The words of

my grandmother came to my mind,"Perhaps your mother and father are taken from the evil days to come. "

My disappointed heart could now praise God that it was so. But why, thought I, did my relatives ever cherish

hopes for me? What was there to save me from the usual fate of slave girls? Many more beautiful and more

intelligent than I had experienced a simliar fate, or a far worse one. How could they hope that I should

My uncle's stay was short, and I was not sorry for it. I was too ill in mind and body to enjoy my friends as I

had done. For some weeks I was unable to leave my bed. I could not have any doctor but my master, and I

would not have him sent for. At last, alarmed by my increasing illness, they sent for him. I was very weak

and nervous; and as soon as he entered the room, I began to scream. They told him my state was very critical.

When my babe was born, they said it was premature. It weighed only four pounds; but God let it live. I heard

the doctor say I could not survive till morning. I had often prayed for death; but now I did not want to die,

unless my child could die too. Many weeks passed before I was able to leave my bed. I was a mere wreck of

my former self. For a year there was scarcely a day when I was free from chills and fever. My babe also was

sickly. His little limbs were often racked with pain. Dr. Flint continued his visits, to look after my health; and

he did not fail to remind me that my child was an addition to his stock of slaves.

I felt too feeble to dispute with him, and listened to his remarks in silence. His visits were less frequent; but

his busy spirit could not remain quiet. He employed my brother in his office, and he was made the medium of

frequent notes and messages to me. William was a bright lad, and of much use to the doctor. He had learned

to put up medicines, to leech, cup, and bleed. He had taught himself to read and spell. I was proud of my

brother; and the old doctor suspected as much. One day, when I had not seen him for several weeks, I heard

his steps approaching the door. I dreaded the encounter, and hid myself. He inquired for me, of course; but I

was nowhere to be found. He went to his office, and despatched William with a note. The color mounted to

my brother's face when he gave it to me; and he said, "Don't you hate me, Linda, for bringing you these

things?" I told him I could not blame him; he was a slave, and obliged to obey his master's will. The note

ordered me to come to his office. I went. He demanded to know where I was when he called. I told him I was

at home. He flew into a passion, and said he knew better. Then he launched out upon his usual themes,my

crimes against him, and my ingratitude for his forbearance. The laws were laid down to me anew, and I was

dismissed. I felt humiliated that my brother should stand by, and listen to such language as would be

addressed only to a slave. Poor boy! He was powerless to defend me; but I saw the tears, which he vainly

strove to keep back. This manifestation of feeling irritated the doctor. William could do nothing to please

him. One morning he did not arrive at the office so early as usual; and that circumstance afforded his master

an opportunity to vent his spleen. He was put in jail. The next day my brother sent a trader to the doctor, with

a request to be sold. His master was greatly incensed at what he called his insolence. He said he had put him

there to reflect upon his bad conduct, and he certainly was not giving any evidence of repentance. For two

days he harassed himself to find somebody to do his office work, but every thing went wrong without

William. He was released, and ordered to take his old stand, with many threats, if he was not careful about his

As the months passed on, my boy improved in health. When he was a year old, they called him beautiful. The

little vine was taking deep root in my existence, though its clinging fondness excited a mixture of love and

pain. When I was most sorely oppressed I found a solace in his smiles. I loved to watch his infant slumbers;

but always there was a dark cloud over my enjoyment. I could never forget that he was a slave. Sometimes I

wished that he might die in infancy. God tried me. My darling became very ill. The bright eyes grew dull, and

the little feet and hands were so icy cold that I thought death had already touched them. I had prayed for his

death, but never so earnestly as I now prayed for his life; and my prayer was heard. Alas, what mockery it is

for a slave mother to try to pray back her dying child to life! Death is better than slavery. It was a sad thought

that I had no name to give my child. His father caressed him and treated him kindly, whenever he had a

chance to see him. He was not unwilling that he should bear his name; but he had no legal claim to it; and if I

had bestowed it upon him, my master would have regarded it as a new crime, a new piece of insolence, and

would, perhaps, revenge it on the boy. O, the serpent of Slavery has many and poisonous fangs!

NOT far from this time Nat Turner's insurrection broke out; and the news threw our town into great

commotion. Strange that they should be alarmed, when their slaves were so "contented and happy"! But so it

It was always the custom to have a muster every year. On that occasion every white man shouldered his

musket. The citizens and the socalled country gentlemen wore military uniforms. The poor whites took their

places in the ranks in everyday dress, some without shoes, some without hats. This grand occasion had

already passed; and when the slaves were told there was to be another muster, they were surprised and

rejoiced. Poor creatures! They thought it was going to be a holiday. I was informed of the true state of affairs,

and impaired it to the few I could trust. Most gladly would I have proclaimed it to every slave; but I dared

By sunrise, people were pouring in from every quarter within twenty miles of the town. I knew the houses

were to be searched; and I expected it would be done by country bullies and the poor whites. I knew nothing

annoyed them so much as to see colored people living in comfort and respectability; so I made arrangements

for them with especial care. I arranged every thing in my grandmother's house as neatly as possible. I put

white quilts on the beds, and decorated some of the rooms with flowers. When all was arranged, I sat down at

the window to watch. Far as my eye could reach, it rested on a motley crowd of soldiers. Drums and fifes

were discoursing martial music. The men were divided into companies of sixteen, each headed by a captain.

Orders were given, and the wild scouts rushed in every direction, wherever a colored face was to be found.

It was a grand opportunity for the low whites, who had no negroes of their own to scourge. They exulted in

such a chance to exercise a little brief authority, and show their subservience to the slaveholders; not

reflecting that the power which trampled on the colored people also kept themselves in poverty, ignorance,

and moral degradation. Those who never witnessed such scenes can hardly believe what I know was inflicted

at this time on innocent men, women, and children, against whom there was not the slightest ground for

suspicion. Colored people and slaves who lived in remote parts of the town suffered in an especial manner. In

some cases the searchers scattered powder and shot among their clothes, and then sent other parties to find

them, and bring them forward as proof that they were plotting insurrection. Every where men, women, and

children were whipped till the blood stood in puddles at their feet. Some received five hundred lashes; others

were tied hands and feet, and tortured with a bucking paddle, which blisters the skin terribly. The dwellings

of the colored people, unless they happened to be protected by some influential white person, who was nigh

at hand, were robbed of clothing and every thing else the marauders thought worth carrying away. All day

long these unfeeling wretches went round, like a troop of demons, terrifying and tormenting the helpless. At

night, they formed themselves into patrol bands, and went wherever they chose among the colored people,

acting out their brutal will. Many women hid themselves in woods and swamps, to keep out of their way. If

any of the husbands or fathers told of these outrages, they were tied up to the public whipping post, and

cruelly scourged for telling lies about white men. The consternation was universal. No two people that had

I entertained no positive fears about our household, because we were in the midst of white families who

would protect us. We were ready to receive the soldiers whenever they came. It was not long before we heard

the tramp of feet and the sound of voices. The door was rudely pushed open; and in they tumbled, like a pack

of hungry wolves. They snatched at every thing within their reach. Every box, trunk, closet, and corner

underwent a thorough examination. A box in one of the drawers containing some silver change was eagerly

pounced upon. When I stepped forward to take it from them, one of the soldiers turned and said angrily,

I replied, "You have come to search; but you have searched that box, and I will take it, if you please."

At that moment I saw a white gentleman who was friendly to us; and I called to him, and asked him to have

the goodness to come in and stay till the search was over. He readily complied. His entrance into the house

brought in the captain of the company, whose business it was to guard the outside of the house, and see that

none of the inmates left it. This officer was Mr. Litch, the wealthy slaveholder whom I mentioned, in the

account of neighboring planters, as being notorious for his cruelty. He felt above soiling his hands with the

search. He merely gave orders; and, if a bit of writing was discovered, it was carried to him by his ignorant

My grandmother had a large trunk of bedding and table cloths. When that was opened, there was a great

shout of surprise; and one exclaimed, "Where'd the damned niggers git all dis sheet an' table clarf'?"

My grandmother, emboldened by the presence of our white protector, said, "You may be sure we didn't pilfer

"Look here, mammy," said a grimlooking fellow without any coat, "you seem to feel mighty gran' 'cause

His remarks were interrupted by a chorus of voices shouting, "We's got 'em! We's got 'em! Dis 'ere yaller

There was a general rush for the supposed letter, which, upon examination, proved to be some verses written

to me by a friend. In packing away my things, I had overlooked them. When their captain informed them of

their contents, they seemed much disappointed. He inquired of me who wrote them. I told him it was one of

my friends. "Can you read them?" he asked. When I told him I could, he swore, and raved, and tore the paper

into bits. "Bring me all your letters!" said he, in a commanding tone. I told him I had none. "Don't be afraid,"

he continued, in an insinuating way. "Bring them all to me. Nobody shall do you any harm." Seeing I did not

move to obey him, his pleasant tone changed to oaths and threats. "Who writes to you? half free niggers?"

inquired he. I replied, "O, no; most of my letters are from white people. Some request me to burn them after

An exclamation of surprise from some of the company put a stop to our conversation. Some silver spoons

which ornamented an oldfashioned buffet had just been discovered. My grandmother was in the habit of

preserving fruit for many ladies in the town, and of preparing suppers for parties; consequently she had many

jars of preserves. The closet that contained these was next invaded, and the contents tasted. One of them, who

was helping himself freely, tapped his neighbor on the shoulder, and said, "Wal done! Don't wonder de

niggers want to kill all de white folks, when dey live on 'sarves" [meaning preserves]. I stretched out my hand

"And what were we sent for?" said the captain, bristling up to me. I evaded the question.

The search of the house was completed, and nothing found to condemn us. They next proceeded to the

garden, and knocked about every bush and vine, with no better success. The captain called his men together,

and, after a short consultation, the order to march was given. As they passed out of the gate, the captain

turned back, and pronounced a malediction on the house. He said it ought to be burned to the ground, and

each of its inmates receive thirtynine lashes. We came out of this affair very fortunately; not losing any

Towards evening the turbulence increased. The soldiers, stimulated by drink, committed still greater cruelties.

Shrieks and shouts continually rent the air. Not daring to go to the door, I peeped under the window curtain. I

saw a mob dragging along a number of colored people, each white man, with his musket upraised,

threatening instant death if they did not stop their shrieks. Among the prisoners was a respectable old colored

minister. They had found a few parcels of shot in his house, which his wife had for years used to balance her

scales. For this they were going to shoot him on Court House Green. What a spectacle was that for a civilized

country! A rabble, staggering under intoxication, assuming to be the administrators of justice!

The better class of the community exerted their influence to save the innocent, persecuted people; and in

several instances they succeeded, by keeping them shut up in jail till the excitement abated. At last the white

citizens found that their own property was not safe from the lawless rabble they had summoned to protect

them. They rallied the drunken swarm, drove them back into the country, and set a guard over the town.

The next day, the town patrols were commissioned to search colored people that lived out of the city; and the

most shocking outrages were committed with perfect impunity. Every day for a fortnight, if I looked out, I

saw horsemen with some poor panting negro tied to their saddles, and compelled by the lash to keep up with

their speed, till they arrived at the jail yard. Those who had been whipped too unmercifully to walk were

washed with brine, tossed into a cart, and carried to jail. One black man, who had not fortitude to endure

scourging, promised to give information about the conspiracy. But it turned out that he knew nothing at all.

He had not even heard the name of Nat Turner. The poor fellow had, however, made up a story, which

The day patrol continued for some weeks, and at sundown a night guard was substituted. Nothing at all was

proved against the colored people, bond or free. The wrath of the slaveholders was somewhat appeased by the

capture of Nat Turner. The imprisoned were released. The slaves were sent to their masters, and the free were

permitted to return to their ravaged homes. Visiting was strictly forbidden on the plantations. The slaves

begged the privilege of again meeting at their little church in the woods, with their burying ground around it.

It was built by the colored people, and they had no higher happiness than to meet there and sing hymns

together, and pour out their hearts in spontaneous prayer. Their request was denied, and the church was

demolished. They were permitted to attend the white churches, a certain portion of the galleries being

appropriated to their use. There, when every body else had partaken of the communion, and the benediction

had been pronounced, the minister said, "Come down, now, my colored friends." They obeyed the summons,

and partook of the bread and wine, in commemoration of the meek and lowly Jesus, who said, "God is your

AFTER the alarm caused by Nat Turner's insurrection had subsided, the slaveholders came to the conclusion

that it would be well to give the slaves enough of religious instruction to keep them from murdering their

masters. The Episcopal clergyman offered to hold a separate service on Sundays for their benefit. His colored

members were very few, and also very respectablea fact which I presume had some weight with him. The

difficulty was to decide on a suitable place for them to worship. The Methodist and Baptist churches admitted

them in the afternoon; but their carpets and cushions were not so costly as those at the Episcopal church. It

was at last decided that they should meet at the house of a free colored man, who was a member.

I was invited to attend, because I could read. Sunday evening came, and, trusting to the cover of night, I

ventured out. I rarely ventured out by daylight, for I always went with fear, expecting at every turn to

encounter Dr. Flint, who was sure to turn me back, or order me to his office to inquire where I got my bonnet,

or some other article of dress. When the Rev. Mr. Pike came, there were some twenty persons present. The

reverend gentleman knelt in prayer, then seated himself, and requested all present, who could read, to open

their books, while he gave out the portions he wished them to repeat or respond to.

His text was, "Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and

Pious Mr. Pike brushed up his hair till it stood upright, and, in deep, solemn tones, began: "Hearken, ye

servants! Give strict heed unto my words. You are rebellious sinners. Your hearts are filled with all manner

of evil. 'Tis the devil who tempts you. God is angry with you, and will surely punish you, if you don't forsake

your wicked ways. You that live in town are eyeservants behind your master's back. Instead of serving your

masters faithfully, which is pleasing in the sight of your heavenly Master, you are idle, and shirk your work.

God sees you. You tell lies. God hears you. Instead of being engaged in worshipping him, you are hidden

away somewhere, feasting on your master's substance; tossing coffeegrounds with some wicked

fortuneteller, or cutting cards with another old hag. Your masters may not find you out, but God sees you, and

will punish you. O, the depravity of your hearts! When your master's work is done, are you quietly together,

thinking of the goodness of God to such sinful creatures? No; you are quarrelling, and tying up little bags of

roots to bury under the doorsteps to poison each other with. God sees you. You men steal away to every

grog shop to sell your master's corn, that you may buy rum to drink. God sees you. You sneak into the back

streets, or among the bushes, to pitch coppers. Although your masters may not find you out, God sees you;

and he will punish you. You must forsake your sinful ways, and be faithful servants. Obey your old master

and your young masteryour old mistress and your young mistress. If you disobey your earthly master, you

offend your heavenly Master. You must obey God's commandments. When you go from here, don't stop at

the corners of the streets to talk, but go directly home, and let your master and mistress see that you have

The benediction was pronounced. We went home, highly amused at brother Pike's gospel teaching, and we

determined to hear him again. I went the next Sabbath evening, and heard pretty much a repetition of the last

discourse. At the close of the meeting, Mr. Pike informed us that he found it very inconvenient to meet at the

friend's house, and he should be glad to see us, every Sunday evening, at his own kitchen.

I went home with the feeling that I had heard the Reverend Mr. Pike for the last time. Some of his members

repaired to his house, and found that the kitchen sported two tallow candles; the first time, I am sure, since its

present occupant owned it, for the servants never had any thing but pine knots. It was so long before the

reverend gentleman descended from his comfortable parlor that the slaves left, and went to enjoy a Methodist

shout. They never seem so happy as when shouting and singing at religious meetings. Many of them are

sincere, and nearer to the gate of heaven than sanctimonious Mr. Pike, and other longfaced Christians, who

The slaves generally compose their own songs and hymns; and they do not trouble their heads much about

Old Satan is one busy ole man; ..He rolls dem blocks all in my way; But Jesus is my bosom friend; ..He rolls

If I had died when I was young, ..Den how my stam'ring tongue would have sung; But I am ole, and now I

I well remember one occasion when I attended a Methodist class meeting. I went with a burdened spirit, and

happened to sit next a poor, bereaved mother, whose hearts was still heavier than mine. The class leader was

the town constablea man who bought and sold slaves, who whipped his brethren and sisters of the church

at the public whipping post, in jail or out of jail. He was ready to perform that Christian office any where for

fifty cents. This whitefaced, blackhearted brother came near us, and said to the stricken woman, "Sister,

can't you tell us how the Lord deals with your soul? Do you love him as you did formerly?"

She rose to her feet, and said, in piteous tones, "My Lord and Master, help me! My load is more than I can

bear. God has hid himself from me, and I am left in darkness and misery." Then, striking her breast, she

continued, "'I can't tell you what is in here! They've got all my children. Last week they took the last one.

God only knows where they've sold her. They let me have her sixteen years, and then O! O! Pray for her

brothers and sisters! I've got nothing to live for now. God make my time short!"

She sat down, quivering in every limb. I saw that constable class leader become crimson in the face with

suppressed laughter, while he held up his handkerchief, that those who were weeping for the poor woman's

calamity might not see his merriment. Then, with assumed gravity, he said to the bereaved mother, "Sister,

pray to the Lord that every dispensation of his divine will may be sanctified to the good of your poor needy

The congregation struck up a hymn, and sung as though they were as free as the birds that warbled round

Ole Satan thought he had a mighty aim; He missed my soul, and caught my sins. Cry Amen, cry Amen, cry

He took my sins upon his back; Went muttering and grumbling down to hell. Cry Amen, cry Amen, cry

Ole Satan's church is here below. Up to God's free church I hope to go. Cry Amen, cry Amen, cry Amen to

Precious are such moments to the poor slaves. If you were to hear them at such times, you might think they

were happy. But can that hour of singing and shouting sustain them through the dreary week, toiling without

The Episcopal clergyman, who, ever since my earliest recollection, had been a sort of god among the

slaveholders, concluded, as his family was large, that he must go where money was more abundant. A very

different clergyman took his place. The change was very agreeable to the colored people, who said, "God has

sent us a good man this time." They loved him, and their children followed him for a smile or a kind word.

Even the slaveholders felt his influence. He brought to the rectory five slaves. His wife taught them to read

and write, and to be useful to her and themselves. As soon as he was settled, he turned his attention to the

needy slaves around him. He urged upon his parishioners the duty of having a meeting expressly for them

every Sunday, with a sermon adapted to their comprehension. After much argument and importunity, it was

finally agreed that they might occupy the gallery of the church on Sunday evenings. Many colored people,

hitherto unaccustomed to attend church, now gladly went to hear the gospel preached. The sermons were

simple, and they understood them. Moreover, it was the first time they had ever been addressed as human

beings. It was not long before his white parishioners began to be dissatisfied. He was accused of preaching

better sermons to the negroes than he did to them. He honestly confessed that he bestowed more pains upon

those sermons than upon any others; for the slaves were reared in such ignorance that it was a difficult task to

adapt himself to their comprehension. Dissensions arose in the parish. Some wanted he should preach to them

in the evening, and to the slaves in the afternoon. In the midst of these disputings his wife died, after a very

short illness. Her slaves gathered round her dying bed in great sorrow. She said, "I have tried to do you good

and promote your happiness; and if I have failed, it has not been for want of interest in your welfare. Do not

weep for me; but prepare for the new duties that lie before you. I leave you all free. May we meet in a better

world. " Her liberated slaves were sent away, with funds to establish them comfortably. The colored people

will long bless the memory of that truly Christian woman. Soon after her death her husband preached his

Several years after, he passed through our town and preached to his former congregation. In his afternoon

sermon he addressed the colored people. "My friends," said he, "it affords me great happiness to have an

opportunity of speaking to you again. For two years I have been striving to do something for the colored

people of my own parish; but nothing is yet accomplished. I have not even preached a sermon to them. Try to

live according to the word of God, my friends. Your skin is darker than mine; but God judges men by their

hearts, not by the color of their skins." This was strange doctrine from a southern pulpit. It was very offensive

to slaveholders. They said he and his wife had made fools of their slaves, and that he preached like a fool to

I knew an old black man, whose piety and childlike trust in God were beautiful to witness. At fiftythree

years old he joined the Baptist church. He had a most earnest desire to learn to read. He thought he should

know how to serve God better if he could only read the Bible. He came to me, and begged me to teach him.

He said he could not pay me, for he had no money; but he would bring me nice fruit when the season for it

came. I asked him if he didn't know it was contrary to law; and that slaves were whipped and imprisoned for

teaching each other to read. This brought the tears into his eyes. "Don't be troubled, uncle Fred," said I. "I

have no thoughts of refusing to teach you. I only told you of the law, that you might know the danger, and be

on your guard. " He thought he could plan to come three times a week without its being suspected. I selected

a quiet nook, where no intruder was likely to penetrate, and there I taught him his A, B, C. Considering his

age, his progress was astonishing. As soon as he could spell in two syllables he wanted to spell out words in

the Bible. The happy smile that illuminated his face put joy into my heart. After spelling out a few words, he

paused, and said, "Honey, it 'pears when I can read dis good book I shall be nearer to God. White man is got

all de sense. He can larn easy. It ain't easy for ole black man like me. I only wants to read dis book, dat I may

I tried to encourage him by speaking of the rapid progress he had made. "Hab patience, child," he replied. "I

I had no need of patience. His gratitude, and the happiness I imparted, were more than a recompense for all

At the end of six months he had read through the New Testament, and could find any text in it. One day,

when he had recited unusually well, I said, "Uncle Fred, how do you manage to get your lessons so well?"

"Lord bress you, chile," he replied. "You nebber gibs me a lesson dat I don't pray to God to help me to

understan' what I spells and what I reads. And he does help me, chile. Bress his holy name!"

There are thousands, who, like good uncle Fred, are thirsting for the water of life; but the law forbids it, and

the churches withhold it. They send the Bible to heathen abroad, and neglect the heathen at home. I am glad

that missionaries go out to the dark corners of the earth; but I ask them not to overlook the dark corners at

home. Talk to American slaveholders as you talk to savages in Africa. Tell them it was wrong to traffic in

men. Tell them it is sinful to sell their own children, and atrocious to violate their own daughters. Tell them

that all men are brethren, and that man has no right to shut out the light of knowledge from his brother. Tell

them they are answerable to God for sealing up the Fountain of Life from souls that are thirsting for it.

There are men who would gladly undertake such missionary work as this; but, alas! their number is small.

They are hated by the south, and would be driven from its soil, or dragged to prison to die, as others have

been before them. The field is ripe for the harvest, and awaits the reapers. Perhaps the great grandchildren of

uncle Fred may have freely imparted to them the divine treasures, which he sought by stealth, at the risk of

Are doctors of divinity blind, or are they hypocrites? I suppose some are the one, and some the other; but I

think if they felt the interest in the poor and the lowly, that they ought to feel, they would not be so easily

blinded. A clergyman who goes to the south, for the first time, has usually some feeling, however vague, that

slavery is wrong. The slaveholder suspects this, and plays his game accordingly. He makes himself as

agreeable as possible; talks on theology, and other kindred topics. The reverend gentleman is asked to invoke

a blessing on a table loaded with luxuries. After dinner he walks round the premises, and sees the beautiful

groves and flowering vines, and the comfortable huts of favored household slaves. The southerner invites him

to talk with those slaves. He asks them if they want to be free, and they say, "O, no, massa." This is a

sufficient to satisfy him. He comes home to publish a "South Side View of Slavery," and to complain of the

exaggerations of abolitionists. He assures people that he has been to the south, and seen slavery for himself,

that it is a beautiful "patriarchal institution;" that the slaves don't want their freedom; that they have hallelujah

What does he know of the halfstarved wretches toiling from dawn till dark on the plantations? of mothers

shrieking for their children, torn from their arms by slave traders? of young girls dragged down into moral

filth? of pools of blood around the whipping post? of hounds trained to tear human flesh? of men screwed

into cotton gins to die? The slaveholder showed him none of these things, and the slaves dared not tell of

There is a great difference between Christianity and religion at the south. If a man goes to the communion

table, and pays money into the treasury of the church, no matter if it be the price of blood, he is called

religious. If a pastor has offspring by a woman not his wife, the church dismiss him, if she is a white woman;

but if she is colored, it does not hinder his continuing to be their good shepherd.

When I was told that Dr. Flint had joined the Episcopal church, I was much surprised. I supposed that

religion had a purifying effect on the character of men; but the worst persecutions I endured from him were

after he was a communicant. The conversation of the doctor, the day after he had been confirmed, certainly

gave me no indication that he had "renounced the devil and all his works. " In answer to some of his usual

talk, I reminded him that he had just joined the church. "Yes, Linda," said he. "It was proper for me to do so.

I am getting in years, and my position in society requires it, and it puts an end to all the damned slang. You

"There are sinners enough in it already," rejoined I. "If I could be allowed to live like a Christian, I should be

"You can do what I require; and if you are faithful to me, you will be as virtuous as my wife," he replied.

His voice became hoarse with rage. "How dare you preach to me about your infernal Bible!" he exclaimed.

"What right have you, who are my negro, to talk to me about what you would like and what you wouldn't

I HAD not returned to my master's house since the birth of my child. The old man raved to have me thus

removed from his immediate power; but his wife vowed, by all that was good and great, she would kill me if

I came back; and he did not doubt her word. Sometimes he would stay away for a season. Then he would

come and renew the old threadbare discourse about his forbearance and my ingratitude. He labored, most

unnecessarily, to convince me that I had lowered myself. The venomous old reprobate had no need of

descanting on that theme. I felt humiliated enough. My unconscious babe was the everpresent witness of my

shame. I listened with silent contempt when he talked about my having forfeited his good opinion; but I shed

bitter tears that I was no longer worthy of being respected by the good and pure. Alas! slavery still held me in

its poisonous grasp. There was no chance for me to be respectable. There was no prospect of being able to

Sometimes, when my master found that I still refused to accept what he called his kind offers, he would

Humble me! Was I not already in the dust? But his threat lacerated my heart. I knew the law gave him power

to fulfil it; for slaveholders have been cunning enough to enact that "the child shall follow the condition of

the mother," not of the father; thus taking care that licentiousness shall not interfere with avarice. This

reflection made me clasp my innocent babe all the more firmly to my heart. Horrid visions passed through my

mind when I thought of his liability to fall into the slave trader's hands. I wept over him, and said, "O my

child! perhaps they will leave you in some cold cabin to die, and then throw you into a hole, as if you were a

When Dr. Flint learned that I was again to be a mother, he was exasperated beyond measure. He rushed from

the house, and returned with a pair of shears. I had a fine head of hair; and he often railed about my pride of

arranging it nicely. He cut every hair close to my head, storming and swearing all the time. I replied to some

of his abuse, and he struck me. Some months before, he had pitched me down stairs in a fit of passion; and

the injury I received was so serious that I was unable to turn myself in bed for many days. He then said,

"Linda, I swear by God I will never raise my hand against you again;" but I knew that he would forget his

After he discovered my situation, he was like a restless spirit from the pit. He came every day; and I was

subjected to such insults as no pen can describe. I would not describe them if I could; they were too low, too

revolting. I tried to keep them from my grandmother's knowledge as much as I could. I knew she had enough

to sadden her life, without having my troubles to bear. When she saw the doctor treat me with violence, and

heard him utter oaths terrible enough to palsy a man's tongue, she could not always hold her peace. It was

natural and motherlike that she should try to defend me; but it only made matters worse.

When they told me my newborn babe was a girl, my heart was heavier than it had ever been before. Slavery

is terrible for men; but it is far more terrible for women. Superadded to the burden common to all, they have

Dr. Flint had sworn that he would make me suffer, to my last day, for this new crime against him, as he called

it; and as long as he had me in his power he kept his word. On the fourth day after the birth of my babe, he

entered my room suddenly, and commanded me to rise and bring my baby to him. The nurse who took care

of me had gone out of the room to prepare some nourishment, and I was alone. There was no alternative. I

rose, took up my babe, and crossed the room to where he sat. "Now stand there," said he, "till I tell you to go

back!" My child bore a strong resemblance to her father, and to the deceased Mrs. Sands, her grandmother.

He noticed this; and while I stood before him, trembling with weakness, he heaped upon me and my little one

every vile epithet he could think of. Even the grandmother in her grave did not escape his curses. In the midst

of his vituperations I fainted at his feet. This recalled him to his senses. He took the baby from my arms, laid

it on the bed, dashed cold water in my face, took me up, and shook me violently, to restore my consciousness

before any one entered the room. Just then my grandmother came in, and he hurried out of the house. I

suffered in consequence of this treatment; but I begged my friends to let me die, rather than send for the

doctor. There was nothing I dreaded so much as his presence. My life was spared; and I was glad for the sake

of my little ones. Had it not been for these ties to life, I should have been glad to be released by death, though

Always it gave me a pang that my children had no lawful claim to a name. Their father offered his; but, if I

had wished to accept the offer, I dared not while my master lived. Moreover, I knew it would not be accepted

at their baptism. A Christian name they were at least entitled to; and we resolved to call my boy for our dear

My grandmother belonged to the church; and she was very desirous of having the children christened. I knew

Dr. Flint would forbid it, and I did not venture to attempt it. But chance favored me. He was called to visit a

patient out of town, and was obliged to be absent during Sunday. "Now is the time," said my grandmother;

When I entered the church, recollections of my mother came over me, and I felt subdued in spirit. There she

had presented me for baptism, without any reason to feel ashamed. She had been married, and had such legal

rights as slavery allows to a slave. The vows had at least been sacred to her, and she had never violated them.

I was glad she was not alive, to know under what different circumstances her grandchildren were presented

for baptism. Why had my lot been so different from my mother's? Her master had died when she was a child;

and she remained with her mistress till she married. She was never in the power of any master; and thus she

When my baby was about to be christened, the former mistress of my father stepped up to me, and proposed

to give it her Christian name. To this I added the surname of my father, who had himself no legal right to it;

for my grandfather on the paternal side was a white gentleman. What tangled skeins are the genealogies of

slavery! I loved my father; but it mortified me to be obliged to bestow his name on my children.

When we left the church, my father's old mistress invited me to go home with her. She clasped a gold chain

round my baby's neck. I thanked her for this kindness; but I did not like the emblem. I wanted no chain to be

fastened on my daughter, not even if its links were of gold. How earnestly I prayed that she might never feel

My children grew finely; and Dr. Flint would often say to me, with an exulting smile, "These brats will bring

I thought to myself that, God being my helper, they should never pass into his hands. It seemed to me I would

rather see them killed than have them given up to his power. The money for the freedom of myself and my

children could be obtained; but I derived no advantage from that circumstance. Dr. Flint loved money, but he

loved power more. After much discussion, my friends resolved on making another trial. There was a

slaveholder about to leave for Texas, and he was commissioned to buy me. He was to begin with nine

hundred dollars, and go up to twelve. My master refused his offers. "Sir," said he, "she don't belong to me.

She is my daughter's property, and I have no right to sell her. I mistrust that you come from her paramour. If

so, you may tell him that he cannot buy her for any money; neither can he buy her children."

The doctor came to see me the next day, and my heart beat quicker as he entered. I never had seen the old

man tread with so majestic a step. He seated himself and looked at me with withering scorn. My children had

learned to be afraid of him. The little one would shut her eyes and hide her face on my shoulder whenever she

saw him; and Benny, who was now nearly five years old, often inquired, "What makes that bad man come

here so many times? Does he want to hurt us?" I would clasp the dear boy in my arms, trusting that he would

be free before he was old enough to solve the problem. And now, as the doctor sat there so grim and silent,

the child left his play and came and nestled up by me. At last my tormentor spoke. "So you are left in disgust,

are you?" said he. "It is no more than I expected. You remember I told you years ago that you would be

treated so. So he is tired of you? Ha! ha! ha! The virtuous madam don't like to hear about it, does she? Ha!

ha! ha!" There was a sting in his calling me virtuous madam. I no longer had the power of answering him as I

had formerly done. He continued: "So it seems you are trying to get up another intrigue. Your new paramour

came to me, and offered to buy you; but you may be assured you will not succeed. You are mine; and you

shall be mine for life. There lives no human being that can take you out of slavery. I would have done it; but

I told him I did not wish to get up any intrigue; that I had never seen the man who offered to buy me.

"Do you tell me I lie?" exclaimed he, dragging me from my chair. "Will you say again that you never saw

He clinched my arm with a volley of oaths. Ben began to scream, and I told him to go to his grandmother.

"Don't you stir a step, you little wretch!" said he. The child drew nearer to me, and put his arms round me, as

if he wanted to protect me. This was too much for my enraged master. He caught him up and hurled him

"Let me go! Let me go!" I screamed, "or I will raise the whole house." I struggled and got away; but he

clinched me again. Somebody opened the door, and he released me. I picked up my insensible child, and

when I turned my tormentor was gone. Anxiously I bent over the little form, so pale and still; and when the

All the doctor's former persecutions were renewed. He came morning, noon, and night. No jealous lover ever

watched a rival more closely than he watched me and the unknown slaveholder, with whom he accused me of

wishing to get up an intrigue. When my grandmother was out of the way he searched every room to find him.

In one of his visits, he happened to find a young girl, whom he had sold to a trader a few days previous. His

statement was, that he sold her because she had been too familiar with the overseer. She had had a bitter life

with him, and was glad to be sold. She had no mother, and no near ties. She had been torn from all her family

years before. A few friends had entered into bonds for her safety, if the trader would allow her to spend with

them the time that intervened between her sale and the gathering up of his human stock. Such a favor was

rarely granted. It saved the trader the expense of board and jail fees, and though the amount was small, it was

Dr. Flint always had an aversion to meeting slaves after he had sold them. He ordered Rose out of the house;

but he was no longer her master, and she took no notice of him. For once the crushed Rose was the

conqueror. His gray eyes flashed angrily upon her; but that was the extent of his power. "How came this girl

here?" he exclaimed. "What right had you to allow it, when you knew I had sold her?"

I answered, "This is my grandmother's house, and Rose came to see her. I have no right to turn any body out

He gave me the blow that would have fallen upon Rose if she had still been his slave. My grandmother's

attention had been attracted by loud voices, and she entered in time to see a second blow dealt. She was not a

woman to let such an outrage, in her own house, go unrebuked. The doctor undertook to explain that I had

been insolent. Her indignant feelings rose higher and higher, and finally boiled over in words. "Get out of my

house!" she exclaimed. "Go home, and take care of your wife and children, and you will have enough to do,

He threw the birth of my children in her face, and accused her of sanctioning the life I was leading. She told

him I was living with her by compulsion of his wife; that he needn't accuse her, for he was the one to blame;

he was the one who had caused all the trouble. She grew more and more excited as she went on. "I tell you

what, Dr. Flint," said she, "you ain't got many more years to live, and you'd better be saying your prayers. It

He left the house in a great rage. I looked at my grandmother. Our eyes met. Their angry expression had

passed away, but she looked sorrowful and wearyweary of incessant strife. I wondered that it did not

lessen her love for me; but if it did she never showed it. She was always kind, always ready to sympathize

with my troubles. There might have been peace and contentment in that humble home if it had not been for

The winter passed undisturbed by the doctor. The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her

loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also. My drooping hopes came to life again with the flowers. I was

dreaming of freedom again; more for my children's sake than my own. I planned and I planned. Obstacles hit

Back came the wily doctor. I was not at home when he called. A friend had invited me to a small party, and

to gratify her I went. To my great consternation, a messenger came in haste to say that Dr. Flint was at my

grandmother's, and insisted on seeing me. They did not tell him where I was, or he would have come and

raised a disturbance in my friend's house. They sent me a dark wrapper; I threw it on and hurried home. My

speed did not save me; the doctor had gone away in anger. I dreaded the morning, but I could not delay it; it

came, warm and bright. At an early hour the doctor came and asked me where I had been last night. I told

him. He did not believe me, and sent to my friend's house to ascertain the facts. He came in the afternoon to

assure me he was satisfied that I had spoken the truth. He seemed to be in a facetious mood, and I expected

some jeers were coming. "I suppose you need some recreation," said he, "but I am surprised at your being

there, among those negroes. It was not the place for you. Are you allowed to visit such people?"

I understood this covert fling at the white gentleman who was my friend; but I merely replied, "I went to visit

He went on to say, "I have seen very little of you of late, but my interest in you is unchanged. When I said I

would have no more mercy on you I was rash. I recall my words. Linda, you desire freedom for yourself and

your children, and you can obtain it only through me. If you agree to what I am about to propose, you and

they shall be free. There must be no communication of any kind between you and their father. I will procure a

cottage, where you and the children can live together. Your labor shall be light, such as sewing for my family.

Think what is offered you, Lindaa home and freedom! Let the past be forgotten. If I have been harsh with

you at times, your wilfulness drove me to it. You know I exact obedience from my own children, and I

His anger was ready to break loose; but he succeeded in curbing it, and replied, "You have answered without

thought. But I must let you know there are two sides to my proposition; if you reject the bright side, you will

be obliged to take the dark one. You must either accept my offer, or you and your children shall be sent to

your young master's plantation, there to remain till your young mistress is married; and your children shall

He was shrewd; but I knew he was not to be trusted. I told him I was ready to give my answer now.

"I will not receive it now," he replied. "You act too much from impulse. Remember that you and your

On what a monstrous chance hung the destiny of my children! I knew that my master's offer was a snare, and

that if I entered it escape would be impossible. As for his promise, I knew him so well that I was sure if he

gave me free papers, they would be so managed as to have no legal value. The alternative was inevitable. I

resolved to go to the plantation. But then I thought how completely I should be in his power, and the prospect

was apalling. Even if I should kneel before him, and implore him to spare me, for the sake of my children, I

Before the week expired, I heard that young Mr. Flint was about to be married to a lady of his own stamp. I

foresaw the position I should occupy in his establishment. I had once been sent to the plantation for

punishment, and fear of the son had induced the father to recall me very soon. My mind was made up; I was

resolved that I would foil my master and save my children, or I would perish in the attempt. I kept my plans

to myself; I knew that friends would try to dissuade me from them, and I would not wound their feelings by

On the decisive day the doctor came, and said he hoped I had made a wise choice.

"Very well. Go to the plantation, and my curse go with you," he replied. "Your boy shall be put to work, and

he shall soon be sold; and your girl shall be raised for the purpose of selling well. Go your own ways! " He

As I stood rooted to the spot, my grandmother came and said, "Linda, child, what did you tell him?"

I told her it was useless to try; but she begged me not to give up. She said she would go to the doctor, and

remind him how long and how faithfully she had served in the family, and how she had taken her own baby

from her breast to nourish his wife. She would tell him I had been out of the family so long they would not

miss me; that she would pay them for my time, and the money would procure a woman who had more

strength for the situation than I had. I begged her not to go; but she persisted in saying, "He will listen to me,

Linda." She went, and was treated as I expected. He coolly listened to what she said, but denied her request.

He told her that what he did was for my good, that my feelings were entirely above my situation, and that on

My grandmother was much cast down. I had my secret hopes; but I must fight my battle alone. I had a

woman's pride, and a mother's love for my children; and I resolved that out of the darkness of this hour a

brighter dawn should rise for them. My master had power and law on his side; I had a determined will. There

EARLY the next morning I left my grandmother's with my youngest child. My boy was ill, and I left him

behind. I had many sad thoughts as the old wagon jolted on. Hitherto, I had suffered alone; now, my little one

was to be treated as a slave. As we drew near the great house, I thought of the time when I was formerly sent

there out of revenge. I wondered for what purpose I was now sent. I could not tell. I resolved to obey orders

so far as duty required; but within myself, I determined to make my stay as short as possible. Mr. Flint was

waiting to receive us, and told me to follow him up stairs to receive orders for the day. My little Ellen was

left below in the kitchen. It was a change for her, who had always been so carefully tended. My young master

said she might amuse herself in the yard. This was kind of him, since the child was hateful to his sight. My

task was to fit up the house for the reception of the bride, In the midst of sheets, tablecloths, towels, drapery,

and carpeting, my head was as busy planning, as were my fingers with the needle. At noon I was allowed to

go to Ellen. She had sobbed herself to sleep. I heard Mr. Flint say to a neighbor, "I've got her down here, and

I'll soon take the town notions out of her head. My father is partly to blame for her nonsense. He ought to

have broke her in long ago. " The remark was made within my hearing, and it would have been quite as

manly to have made it to my face. He had said things to my face which might, or might not, have surprised

I resolved to give him no cause to accuse me of being too much of a lady, so far as work was concerned. I

worked day and night, with wretchedness before me. When I lay down beside my child, I felt how much

easier it would be to see her die than to see her master beat her about, as I daily saw him beat other little ones.

The spirit of the mothers was so crushed by the lash, that they stood by, without courage to remonstrate. How

I wished to appear as contented as possible. Sometimes I had an opportunity to send a few lines home; and

this brought up recollections that made it difficult, for a time, to seem calm and indifferent to my lot.

Notwithstanding my efforts, I saw that Mr. Flint regarded me with a suspicious eye. Ellen broke down under

the trials of her new life. Separated from me, with no one to look after her, she wandered about, and in a few

days cried herself sick. One day, she sat under the window where I was at work, crying that weary cry which

makes a mother's heart bleed. I was obliged to steel myself to bear it. After a while it ceased. I looked out,

and she was gone. As it was near noon, I ventured to go down in search of her. The great house was raised

two feet above the ground. I looked under it, and saw her about midway, fast asleep. I crept under and drew

her out. As I held her in my arms, I thought how well it would be for her if she never waked up; and I uttered

my thought aloud. I was startled to hear some one say, "Did you speak to me?" I looked up, and saw Mr. Flint

standing beside me. He said nothing further, but turned, frowning, away. That night he sent Ellen a biscuit

and a cup of sweetened milk. This generosity surprised me. I learned afterwards, that in the afternoon he had

killed a large snake, which crept from under the house; and I supposed that incident had prompted his unusual

The next morning the old cart was loaded with shingles for town. I put Ellen into it, and sent her to her

grandmother. Mr. Flint said I ought to have asked his permission. I told him the child was sick, and required

attention which I had no time to give. He let it pass; for he was aware that I had accomplished much work in

I had been three weeks on the plantation, when I planned a visit home. It must be at night, after every body

was in bed. I was six miles from town, and the road was very dreary. I was to go with a young man, who, I

knew, often stole to town to see his mother. One night, when all was quiet, we started. Fear gave speed to our

steps, and we were not long in performing the journey. I arrived at my grandmother's. Her bed room was on

the first floor, and the window was open, the weather being warm. I spoke to her and she awoke. She let me

in and closed the window, lest some late passerby should see me. A light was brought, and the whole

household gathered round me, some smiling and some crying. I went to look at my children, and thanked

God for their happy sleep. The tears fell as I leaned over them. As I moved to leave, Benny stirred. I turned

back, and whispered, "Mother is here." After digging at his eyes with his little fist, they opened, and he sat up

in bed, looking at me curiously. Having satisfied himself that it was I, he exclaimed, "O mother! you ain't

My time was up too soon, and my guide was waiting for me. I laid Benny back in his bed, and dried his tears

by a promise to come again soon. Rapidly we retraced our steps back to the plantation. About half way we

were met by a company of four patrols. Luckily we heard their horse's hoofs before they came in sight, and

we had time to hide behind a large tree. They passed, hallooing and shouting in a manner that indicated a

recent carousal. How thankful we were that they had not their dogs with them! We hastened our footsteps,

and when we arrived on the plantation we heard the sound of the handmill. The slaves were grinding their

corn. We were safely in the house before the horn summoned them to their labor. I divided my little parcel of

food with my guide, knowing that he had lost the chance of grinding his corn, and must toil all day in the

Mr. Flint often took an inspection of the house, to see that no one was idle. The entire management of the

work was trusted to me, because he knew nothing about it; and rather than hire a superintendent he contented

himself with my arrangements. He had often urged upon his father the necessity of having me at the

plantation to take charge of his affairs, and make clothes for the slaves; but the old man knew him too well to

When I had been working a month at the plantation, the great aunt of Mr. Flint came to make him a visit.

This was the good old lady who paid fifty dollars for my grandmother, for the purpose of making her free,

when she stood on the auction block. My grandmother loved this old lady, whom we all called Miss Fanny.

She often came to take tea with us. On such occasions the table was spread with a snowwhite cloth, and the

china cups and silver spoons were taken from the oldfashioned buffet. There were hot muffins, tea rusks,

and delicious sweetmeats. My grandmother kept two cows, and the fresh cream was Miss Fanny's delight.

She invariably declared that it was the best in town. The old ladies had cosey times together. They would

work and chat, and sometimes, while talking over old times, their spectacles would get dim with tears, and

would have to be taken off and wiped. When Miss Fanny bade us good by, her bag was filled with

There had been a time when Dr. Flint's wife came to take tea with us, and when her children were also sent to

have a feast of "Aunt Marthy's" nice cooking. But after I became an object of her jealousy and spite, she was

angry with grandmother for giving a shelter to me and my children. She would not even speak to her in the

street. This wounded my grandmother's feelings, for she could not retain ill will against the woman whom she

had nourished with her milk when a babe. The doctor's wife would gladly have prevented our intercourse

with Miss Fanny if she could have done it, but fortunately she was not dependent on the bounty of the Flints.

She had enough to be independent; and that is more than can ever be gained from charity, however lavish it

Miss Fanny was endeared to me by many recollections, and I was rejoiced to see her at the plantation. The

warmth of her large, loyal heart made the house seem pleasanter while she was in it. She staid a week, and I

had many talks with her. She said her principal object in coming was to see how I was treated, and whether

any thing could be done for me. She inquired whether she could help me in any way. I told her I believed not.

She condoled with me in her own peculiar way; saying she wished that I and all my grandmother's family

were at rest in our graves, for not until then should she feel any peace about us. The good old soul did not

dream that I was planning to bestow peace upon her, with regard to myself and my children; not by death, but

Again and again I had traversed those dreary twelve miles, to and from the town; and all the way, I was

meditating upon some means of escape for myself and my children. My friends had made every effort that

ingenuity could devise to effect our purchase, but all their plans had proved abortive. Dr. Flint was

suspicious, and determined not to loosen his grasp upon us. I could have made my escape alone; but it was

more for my helpless children than for myself that I longed for freedom. Though the boon would have been

precious to me, above all price, I would not have taken it at the expense of leaving them in slavery. Every

trial I endured, every sacrifice I made for their sakes, drew them closer to my heart, and gave me fresh

courage to beat back the dark waves that rolled and rolled over me in a seemingly endless night of storms.

The six weeks were nearly completed, when Mr. Flint's bride was expected to take possession of her new

home. The arrangements were all completed, and Mr. Flint said I had done well. He expected to leave home

on Saturday, and return with his bride the following Wednesday. After receiving various orders from him, I

ventured to ask permission to spend Sunday in town. It was granted; for which favor I was thankful. It was

the first I had ever asked of him, and I intended it should be the last. It needed more than one night to

accomplish the project I had in view; but the whole of Sunday would give me an opportunity. I spent the

Sabbath with my grandmother. A calmer, more beautiful day never came down out of heaven. To me it was a

day of conflicting emotions. Perhaps it was the last day I should ever spend under that dear, old sheltering

roof! Perhaps these were the last talks I should ever have with the faithful old friend of my whole life!

Perhaps it was the last time I and my children should be together! Well, better so, I thought, than that they

should be slaves. I knew the doom that awaited my fair baby in slavery, and I determined to save her from it,

or perish in the attempt. I went to make this vow at the graves of my poor parents, in the buryingground of

the slaves. "There the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weary be at rest. There the prisoners rest

together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor; the servant is free from his master." I knelt by the graves of

my parents, and thanked God, as I had often done before, that they had not lived to witness my trials, or to

mourn over my sins. I had received my mother's blessing when she died; and in many an hour of tribulation I

had seemed to hear her voice, sometimes chiding me, sometimes whispering loving words into my wounded

heart. I have shed many and bitter tears, to think that when I am gone from my children they cannot

The graveyard was in the woods, and twilight was coming on. Nothing broke the deathlike stillness except

the occasional twitter of a bird. My spirit was overawed by the solemnity of the scene. For more than ten

years I had frequented this spot, but never had it seemed to me so sacred as now. A black stump, at the head

of my mother's grave, was all that remained of a tree my father had planted. His grave was marked by a small

wooden board, bearing his name, the letters of which were nearly obliterated. I knelt down and kissed them,

and poured forth a prayer to God for guidance and support in the perilous step I was about to take. As I

passed the wreck of the old meeting house, where, before Nat Turner's time, the slaves had been allowed to

meet for worship, I seemed to hear my father's voice come from it, bidding me not to tarry till I reached

freedom or the grave. I rushed on with renovated hopes. My trust in God had been strengthened by that

My plan was to conceal myself at the house of a friend, and remain there a few weeks till the search was

over. My hope was that the doctor would get discouraged, and, for fear of losing my value, and also of

subsequently finding my children among the missing, he would consent to sell us; and I knew somebody

would buy us. I had done all in my power to make my children comfortable during the time I expected to be

separated from them. I was packing my things, when grandmother came into the room, and asked what I was

doing. "I am putting my things in order," I replied. I tried to look and speak cheerfully; but her watchful eye

detected something beneath the surface. She drew me towards her, and asked me to sit down. She looked

earnestly at me, and said, "Linda, do you want to kill your old grandmother? Do you mean to leave your little,

helpless children? I am old now, and cannot do for your babies as I once did for you.�

I replied, that if I went away, perhaps their father would be able to secure their freedom.

"Ah, my child," said she, "don't trust too much to him. Stand by your own children, and suffer with them till

death. Nobody respects a mother who forsakes her children; and if you leave them, you will never have a

happy moment. If you go, you will make me miserable the short time I have to live. You would be taken and

brought back, and your sufferings would be dreadful. Remember poor Benjamin. Do give it up, Linda. Try to

My courage failed me, in view of the sorrow I should bring on that faithful, loving old heart. I promised that I

would try longer, and that I would take nothing out of her house without her knowledge.

Whenever the children climbed on my knee, or laid their heads on my lap, she would say, "Poor little souls!

what would you do without a mother? She don't love you as I do." And she would hug them to her own

bosom, as if to reproach me for my want of affection; but she knew all the while that I loved them better than

my life. I slept with her that night, and it was the last time. The memory of it haunted me for many a year.

On Monday I returned to the plantation, and busied myself with preparations for the important day.

Wednesday came. It was a beautiful day, and the faces of the slaves were as bright as the sunshine. The poor

creatures were merry. They were expecting little presents from the bride, and hoping for better times under

her administration. I had no such hopes for them. I knew that the young wives of slaveholders often thought

their authority and importance would be best established and maintained by cruelty; and what I had heard of

young Mrs. Flint gave me no reason to expect that her rule over them would be less severe than that of the

master and overseer. Truly, the colored race are the most cheerful and forgiving people on the face of the

earth. That their masters sleep in safety is owing to their superabundance of heart; and yet they look upon

their sufferings with less pity than they would bestow on those of a horse or a dog.

I stood at the door with others to receive the bridegroom and bride. She was a handsome, delicatelooking

girl, and her face flushed with emotion at sight of her new home. I thought it likely that visions of a happy

future were rising before her. It made me sad; for I knew how soon clouds would come over her sunshine.

She examined every part of the house, and told me she was delighted with the arrangements I had made. I

was afraid old Mrs. Flint had tried to prejudice her against me, and I did my best to please her.

All passed off smoothly for me until dinner time arrived. I did not mind the embarrassment of waiting on a

dinner party, for the first time in my life, half so much as I did the meeting with Dr. Flint and his wife, who

would be among the guests. It was a mystery to me why Mrs. Flint had not made her appearance at the

plantation during all the time I was putting the house in order. I had not met her, face to face, for five years,

and I had no wish to see her now. She was a praying woman, and, doubtless, considered my present position

a special answer to her prayers. Nothing could please her better than to see me humbled and trampled upon. I

was just where she would have mein the power of a hard, unprincipled master. She did not speak to me

when she took her seat at table; but her satisfied, triumphant smile, when I handed her plate, was more

eloquent than words. The old doctor was not so quiet in his demonstrations. He ordered me here and there,

and spoke with peculiar emphasis when he said "your mistress." I was drilled like a disgraced soldier. When

all was over, and the last key turned, I sought my pillow, thankful that God had appointed a season of rest for

The next day my new mistress began her housekeeping. I was not exactly appointed maid of all work; but I

was to do whatever I was told. Monday evening came. It was always a busy time. On that night the slaves

received their weekly allowance of food. Three pounds of meat, a peck of corn, and perhaps a dozen herring

were allowed to each man. Women received a pound and a half of meat, a peck of corn, and the same number

of herring. Children over twelve years old had half the allowance of the women. The meat was cut and

weighed by the foreman of the field hands, and piled on planks before the meat house. Then the second

foreman went behind the building, and when the first foreman called out, "Who takes this piece of meat?" he

answered by calling somebody's name. This method was resorted to as a means of preventing partiality in

distributing the meat. The young mistress came out to see how things were done on her plantation, and she

soon gave a specimen of her character. Among those in waiting for their allowance was a very old slave, who

had faithfully served the Flint family through three generations. When he hobbled up to get his bit of meat,

the mistress said he was too old to have any allowance; that when niggers were too old to work, they ought to

be fed on grass. Poor old man! He suffered much before he found rest in the grave.

My mistress and I got along very well together. At the end of a week, old Mrs. Flint made us another visit,

and was closeted a long time with her daughterinlaw. I had my suspicions what was the subject of the

conference. The old doctor's wife had been informed that I could leave the plantation on one condition, and

she was very desirous to keep me there. If she had trusted me, as I deserved to be trusted by her, she would

have had no fears of my accepting that condition. When she entered her carriage to return home, she said to

young Mrs. Flint, "Don't neglect to send for them as quick as possible. " My heart was on the watch all the

time, and I at once concluded that she spoke of my children. The doctor came the next day, and as I entered

the room to spread the tea table, I heard him say, "Don't wait any longer. Send for them tomorrow. " I saw

through the plan. They thought my children's being there would fetter me to the spot, and that it was a good

place to break us all in to abject submission to our lot as slaves. After the doctor left, a gentleman called, who

had always manifested friendly feelings towards my grandmother and her family. Mr. Flint carried him over

the plantation to show him the results of labor performed by men and women who were unpaid, miserably

clothed, and half famished. The cotton crop was all they thought of. It was duly admired, and the gentleman

returned with specimens to show his friends. I was ordered to carry water to wash his hands. As I did so, he

said, "Linda, how do you like your new home?" I told him I liked it as well as I expected. He replied, "They

don't think you are contented, and tomorrow they are going to bring your children to be with you. I am sorry

for you, Linda. I hope they will treat you kindly." I hurried from the room, unable to thank him. My

suspicions were correct. My children were to be brought to the plantation to be "broke in."

To this day I feel grateful to the gentleman who gave me this timely information. It nerved me to immediate

MR. Flint was hard pushed for house servants, and rather than lose me he had restrained his malice. I did my

work faithfully, though not, of course, with a willing mind. They were evidently afraid I should leave them.

Mr. Flint wished that I should sleep in the great house instead of the servants' quarters. His wife agreed to the

proposition, but said I mustn't bring my bed into the house, because it would scatter feathers on her carpet. I

knew when I went there that they would never think of such a thing as furnishing a bed of any kind for me

and my little one. I therefore carried my own bed, and now I was forbidden to use it. I did as I was ordered.

But now that I was certain my children were to be put in their power, in order to give them a stronger hold on

me, I resolved to leave them that night. I remembered the grief this step would bring upon my dear old

grandmother; and nothing less than the freedom of my children would have induced me to disregard her

advice. I went about my evening work with trembling steps. Mr. Flint twice called from his chamber door to

inquire why the house was not locked up. I replied that I had not done my work. "You have had time enough

I shut all the windows, locked all the doors, and went up to the third story, to wait till midnight. How long

those hours seemed, and how fervently I prayed that God would not forsake me in this hour of utmost need! I

was about to risk every thing on the throw of a die; and if I failed, O what would become of me and my poor

At half past twelve I stole softly down stairs. I stopped on the second floor, thinking I heard a noise. I felt my

way down into the parlor, and looked out of the window. The night was so intensely dark that I could see

nothing. I raised the window very softly and jumped out. Large drops of rain were falling, and the darkness

bewildered me. I dropped on my knees, and breathed a short prayer to God for guidance and protection. I

groped my way to the road, and rushed towards the town with almost lightning speed. I arrived at my

grandmother's house, but dared not see her. She would say, "Linda, you are killing me;" and I knew that

would unnerve me. I tapped softly at the window of a room, occupied by a woman, who had lived in the

house several years. I knew she was a faithful friend, and could be trusted with my secret. I tapped several

times before she heard me. At last she raised the window, and I whispered, "Sally, I have run away. Let me

in, quick." She opened the door softly, and said in low tones, "For God's sake, don't. Your grandmother is

trying to buy you and de chillern. Mr. Sands was here last week. He tole her he was going away on business,

but he wanted her to go ahead about buying you and de chillem, and he would help her all he could. Don't run

I replied, "Sally, they are going to carry my children to the plantation tomorrow; and they will never sell them

to any body so long as they have me in their power. Now, would you advise me to go back?"

�No, chile, no," answered she. "When dey finds you is gone, dey won't want de plague ob de chillern; but

I told her I had a hidingplace, and that was all it was best for her to know. I asked her to go into my room as

soon as it was light, and take all my clothes out of my trunk, and pack them in hers; for I knew Mr. Flint and

the constable would be there early to search my room. I feared the sight of my children would be too much

for my full heart; but I could not go out into the uncertain future without one last look. I bent over the bed

where lay my little Benny and baby Ellen. Poor little ones! fatherless and motherless! Memories of their

father came over me. He wanted to be kind to them; but they were not all to him, as they were to my

womanly heart. I knelt and prayed for the innocent little sleepers. I kissed them lightly, and turned away.

As I was about to open the street door, Sally laid her hand on my shoulder, and said, "Linda, is you gwine all

"No, Sally," I replied, "I want no one to be brought into trouble on my account."

I went forth into the darkness and rain. I ran on till I came to the house of the friend who was to conceal me.

Early the next morning Mr. Flint was at my grandmother's inquiring for me. She told him she had not seen

me, and supposed I was at the plantation. He watched her face narrowly, and said, "Don't you know any thing

about her running off?" She assured him that she did not. He went on to say, "Last night she ran off without

the least provocation. We had treated her very kindly. My wife liked her. She will soon be found and brought

back. Are her children with you?" When told that they were, he said, "I am very glad to hear that. If they are

here, she cannot be far off. If I find out that any of my niggers have had any thing to do with this damned

business, I'll give 'em five hundred lashes." As he started to go to his father's, he turned round and added,

persuasively, "Let her be brought back, and she shall have her children to live with her."

The tidings made the old doctor rave and storm at a furious rate. It was a busy day for them. My

grandmother's house was searched from top to bottom. As my trunk was empty, they concluded I had taken

my clothes with me. Before ten o'clock every vessel northward bound was thoroughly examined, and the law

against harboring fugitives was read to all on board. At night a watch was set over the town. Knowing how

distressed my grandmother would be, I wanted to send her a message; but it could not be done. Every one

who went in or out of her house was closely watched. The doctor said he would take my children, unless she

became responsible for them; which of course she willingly did. The next day was spent in searching. Before

night, the following advertisement was posted at every corner, and in every public place for miles round:

$300 REWARD! Ran away from the subscriber, an intelligent, bright, mulatto girl, named Linda, 21 years of

age. Five feet four inches high. Dark eyes, and black hair inclined to curl; but it can be made straight. Has a

decayed spot on a front tooth. She can read and write, and in all probability will try to get to the Free States.

All persons are forbidden, under penalty of law, to harbor or employ said slave. $150 will be given to

whoever takes her in the state, and $300 if taken out of the state and delivered to me, or lodged in jail.

THE search for me was kept up with more perseverance than I had anticipated. I began to think that escape

was impossible. I was in great anxiety lest I should implicate the friend who harbored me. I knew the

consequences would be frightful; and much as I dreaded being caught, even that seemed better than causing

an innocent person to suffer for kindness to me. A week had passed in terrible suspense, when my pursuers

came into such close vicinity that I concluded they had tracked me to my hidingplace. I flew out of the

house, and concealed myself in a thicket of bushes. There I remained in an agony of fear for two hours.

Suddenly, a reptile of some kind seized my leg. In my fright, I struck a blow which loosened its hold, but I

could not tell whether I had killed it; it was so dark, I could not see what it was; I only knew it was something

cold and slimy. The pain I felt soon indicated that the bite was poisonous. I was compelled to leave my place

of concealment, and I groped my way back into the house. The pain had become intense, and my friend was

startled by my look of anguish. I asked her to prepare a poultice of warm ashes and vinegar, and I applied it

to my leg, which was already much swollen. The application gave me some relief, but the swelling did not

abate. The dread of being disabled was greater than the physical pain I endured. My friend asked an old

woman, who doctored among the slaves, what was good for the bite of a snake or a lizard. She told her to

steep a dozen coppers in vinegar, over night, and apply the cankered vinegar to the inflamed part.*

*The poison of a snake is a powerful acid, and is counteracted by powerful alkalies, such as potash,

ammonia, The Indians are accustomed to apply wet ashes, or plunge the limb into strong lie. White men,

employed to lay out railroads in snaky places, often carry ammonia with them as an antidote.EDITOR.

I had succeeded in cautiously conveying some messages to my relatives. They were harshly threatened, and

despairing of my having a chance to escape, they advised me to return to my master, ask his forgiveness, and

let him make an example of me. But such counsel had no influence with me. When I started upon this

hazardous undertaking, I had resolved that, come what would, there should be no turning back. "Give me

liberty, or give me death," was my motto. When my friend contrived to make known to my relatives the

painful situation I had been in for twentyfour hours, they said no more about my going back to my master.

Something must be done, and that speedily; but where to return for help, they knew not. God in his mercy

Among the ladies who were acquainted with my grandmother, was one who had known her from childhood,

and always been very friendly to her. She had also known my mother and her children, and felt interested for

them. At this crisis of affairs she called to see my grandmother, as she not unfrequently did. She observed the

sad and troubled expression of her face, and asked if she knew where Linda was, and whether she was safe.

My grandmother shook her head, without answering. "Come, Aunt Martha," said the kind lady, "tell me all

about it. Perhaps I can do something to help you." The husband of this lady held many slaves, and bought and

sold slaves. She also held a number in her own name; but she treated them kindly, and would never allow any

of them to be sold. She was unlike the majority of slaveholders' wives. My grandmother looked earnestly at

her. Something in the expression of her face said "Trust me!" and she did trust her. She listened attentively to

the details of my story, and sat thinking for a while. At last she said, "Aunt Martha, I pity you both. If you

think there is any chance of Linda's getting to the Free States, I will conceal her for a time. But first you must

solemnly promise that my name shall never be mentioned. If such a thing should become known, it would

ruin me and my family. No one in my house must know of it, except the cook. She is so faithful that I would

trust my own life with her; and I know she likes Linda. It is a great risk; but I trust no harm will come of it.

Get word to Linda to be ready as soon as it is dark, before the patrols are out. I will send the housemaids on

errands, and Betty shall go to meet Linda." The place where we were to meet was designated and agreed

upon. My grandmother was unable to thank the lady for this noble deed; overcome by her emotions, she sank

I received a message to leave my friend's house at such an hour, and go to a certain place where a friend

would be waiting for me. As a matter of prudence no names were mentioned. I had no means of conjecturing

who I was to meet, or where I was going. I did not like to move thus blindfolded, but I had no choice. It

would not do for me to remain where I was. I disguised myself, summoned up courage to meet the worst, and

went to the appointed place. My friend Betty was there; she was the last person I expected to see. We hurried

along in silence. The pain in my leg was so intense that it seemed as if I should drop; but fear gave me

strength. We reached the house and entered unobserved. Her first words were: "Honey, now you is safe. Dem

devils ain't coming to search dis house. When I get you into missis' safe place, I will bring some nice hot

supper. I specs you need it after all dis skeering." Betty's vocation led her to think eating the most important

thing in life. She did not realize that my heart was too full for me to care much about supper.

The mistress came to meet us, and led me up stairs to a small room over her own sleeping apartment. "You

will be safe here, Linda," said she; "I keep this room to store away things that are out of use. The girls are not

accustomed to be sent to it, and they will not suspect any thing unless they hear some noise. I always keep it

locked, and Betty shall take care of the key. But you must be very careful, for my sake as well as your own;

and you must never tell my secret; for it would ruin me and my family. I will keep the girls busy in the

morning, that Betty may have a chance to bring your breakfast; but it will not do for her to come to you again

till night. I will come to see you sometimes. Keep up your courage. I hope this state of things will not last

long." Betty came with the "nice hot supper," and the mistress hastened down stairs to keep things straight till

she returned. How my heart overflowed with gratitude! Words choked in my throat; but I could have kissed

the feet of my benefactress. For that deed of Christian womanhood, may God forever bless her!

I went to sleep that night with the feeling that I was for the present the most fortunate slave in town. Morning

came and filled my little cell with light. I thanked the heavenly Father for this safe retreat. Opposite my

window was a pile of feather beds. On the top of these I could lie perfectly concealed, and command a view

of the street through which Dr. Flint passed to his office. Anxious as I was, I felt a gleam of satisfaction when

I saw him. Thus far I had outwitted him, and I triumphed over it. Who can blame slaves for being cunning?

They are constantly compelled to resort to it. It is the only weapon of the weak and oppressed against the

I was daily hoping to hear that my master had sold my children; for I knew who was on the watch to buy

them. But Dr. Flint cared even more for revenge than he did for money. My brother William and the good

aunt who had served in his family twenty years, and my little Benny, and Ellen, who was a little over two

years old, were thrust into jail, as a means of compelling my relatives to give some information about me. He

swore my grandmother should never see one of them again till I was brought back. They kept these facts

from me for several days. When I heard that my little ones were in a loathsome jail, my first impulse was to

go to them. I was encountering dangers for the sake of freeing them, and must I be the cause of their death?

The thought was agonizing. My benefactress tried to soothe me by telling me that my aunt would take good

care of the children while they remained in jail. But it added to my pain to think that the good old aunt, who

had always been so kind to her sister's orphan children, should be shut up in prison for no other crime than

loving them. I suppose my friends feared a reckless movement on my part, knowing, as they did, that my life

was bound up in my children. I received a note from my brother William. It was scarcely legible, and ran

thus: "Wherever you are, dear sister, I beg of you not to come here. We are all much better off than you are.

If you come, you will ruin us all. They would force you to tell where you had been, or they would kill you.

Take the advice of your friends; if not for the sake of me and your children, at least for the sake of those you

Poor William! He also must suffer for being my brother. I took his advice and kept quiet. My aunt was taken

out of jail at the end of a month, because Mrs. Flint could not spare her any longer. She was tired of being her

own housekeeper. It was quite too fatiguing to order her dinner and eat it too. My children remained in jail,

where brother William did all he could for their comfort. Betty went to see them sometimes, and brought me

tidings. She was not permitted to enter the jail; but William would hold them up to the grated window while

she chatted with them. When she repeated their prattle, and told me how they wanted to see their ma, my

tears would flow. Old Betty would exclaim, "Lors, chile! what's you crying 'bout? Dem young uns vil kill you

dead. Don't be so chick'n hearted! If you does, you vil nebber git thro' dis world."

Good old soul! She had gone through the world childless. She had never had little ones to clasp their arms

round her neck; she had never seen their soft eyes looking into hers; no sweet little voices had called her

mother; she had never pressed her own infants to her heart, with the feeling that even in fetters there was

something to live for. How could she realize my feelings? Betty's husband loved children dearly, and

wondered why God had denied them to him. He expressed great sorrow when he came to Betty with the

tidings that Ellen had been taken out of jail and carried to Dr. Flint's. She had the measles a short time before

they carried her to jail, and the disease had left her eyes affected. The doctor had taken her home to attend to

them. My children had always been afraid of the doctor and his wife. They had never been inside of their

house. Poor little Ellen cried all day to be carried back to prison. The instincts of childhood are true. She

knew she was loved in the jail. Her screams and sobs annoyed Mrs. Flint. Before night she called one of the

slaves, and said, "Here, Bill, carry this brat back to the jail. I can't stand her noise. If she would be quiet I

should like to keep the little minx. She would make a handy waitingmaid for my daughter by and by. But if

she staid here, with her white face, I suppose I should either kill her or spoil her. I hope the doctor will sell

them as far as wind and water can carry them. As for their mother, her ladyship will find out yet what she

gets by running away. She hasn't so much feeling for her children as a cow has for its calf. If she had, she

would have come back long ago, to get them out of jail, and save all this expense and trouble. The

goodfornothing hussy! When she is caught, she shall stay in jail, in irons, for one six months, and then be

sold to a sugar plantation. I shall see her broke in yet. What do you stand there for, Bill? Why don't you go

off with the brat? Mind, now, that you don't let any of the niggers speak to her in the street!"

When these remarks were reported to me, I smiled at Mrs. Flint's saying that she should either kill my child

or spoil her. I thought to myself there was very little danger of the latter. I have always considered it as one of

God's special providences that Ellen screamed till she was carried back to jail.

That same night Dr. Flint was called to a patient, and did not return till near morning. Passing my

grandmother's, he saw a light in the house, and thought to himself, "Perhaps this has something to do with

Linda. " He knocked, and the door was opened. "What calls you up so early?" said he. "I saw your light, and I

thought I would just stop and tell you that I have found out where Linda is. I know where to put my hands on

her, and I shall have her before twelve o'clock. " When he had turned away, my grandmother and my uncle

looked anxiously at each other. They did not know whether or not it was merely one of the doctor's tricks to

frighten them. In their uncertainty, they thought it was best to have a message conveyed to my friend Betty.

Unwilling to alarm her mistress, Betty resolved to dispose of me herself. She came to me, and told me to rise

and dress quickly. We hurried down stairs, and across the yard, into the kitchen. She locked the door, and

lifted up a plank in the floor. A buffalo skin and a bit of carpet were spread for me to lie on, and a quilt

thrown over me. "Stay dar," said she, "till I sees if dey know 'bout you. Dey say dey vil put thar hans on you

afore twelve o'clock. If dey did know whar you are, dey won't know now. Dey'll be disapinted dis time. Dat's

all I got to say. If dey comes rummagin 'mong my tings, de'll get one bressed sarssin from dis 'ere nigger." In

my shallow bed I had but just room enough to bring my hands to my face to keep the dust out of my eyes; for

Betty walked over me twenty times in an hour, passing from the dresser to the fireplace. When she was alone,

I could hear her pronouncing anathemas over Dr. Flint and all his tribe, every now and then saying, with a

chuckling laugh, "Dis nigger's too cute for 'em dis time." When the housemaids were about, she had sly ways

of drawing them out, that I might hear what they would say. She would repeat stories she had heard about my

being in this, or that, or the other place. To which they would answer, that I was not fool enough to be staying

round there; that I was in Philadelphia or New York before this time. When all were abed and asleep, Betty

raised the plank, and said, "Come out, chile; come out. Dey don't know nottin 'bout you. 'Twas only white

Some days after this adventure I had a much worse fright. As I sat very still in my retreat above stairs,

cheerful visions floated through my mind. I thought Dr. Flint would soon get discouraged, and would be

willing to sell my children, when he lost all hopes of making them the means of my discovery. I knew who

was ready to buy them. Suddenly I heard a voice that chilled my blood. The sound was too familiar to me, it

had been too dreadful, for me not to recognize at once my old master. He was in the house, and I at once

concluded he had come to seize me. I looked round in terror. There was no way of escape. The voice receded.

I supposed the constable was with him, and they were searching the house. In my alarm I did not forget the

trouble I was bringing on my generous benefactress. It seemed as if I were born to bring sorrow on all who

befriended me, and that was the bitterest drop in the bitter cup of my life. After a while I heard approaching

footsteps; the key was turned in my door. I braced myself against the wall to keep from falling. I ventured to

look up, and there stood my kind benefactress alone. I was too much overcome to speak, and sunk down upon

"I thought you would hear your master's voice," she said; "and knowing you would be terrified, I came to tell

you there is nothing to fear. You may even indulge in a laugh at the old gentleman's expense. He is so sure

you are in New York, that he came to borrow five hundred dollars to go in pursuit of you. My sister had some

money to loan on interest. He has obtained it, and proposes to start for New York tonight. So, for the

present, you see you are safe. The doctor will merely lighten his pocket hunting after the bird he has left

THE doctor came back from New York, of course without accomplishing his purpose. He had expended

considerable money, and was rather disheartened. My brother and the children had now been in jail two

months, and that also was some expense. My friends thought it was a favorable time to work on his

discouraged feelings. Mr. Sands sent a speculator to offer him nine hundred dollars for my brother William,

and eight hundred for the two children. These were high prices, as slaves were then selling; but the offer was

rejected. If it had been merely a question of money, the doctor would have sold any boy of Benny's age for

two hundred dollars; but he could not bear to give up the power of revenge. But he was hard pressed for

money, and he revolved the matter in his mind. He knew that if he could keep Ellen till she was fifteen, he

could sell her for a high price; but I presume he reflected that she might die, or might be stolen away. At all

events, he came to the conclusion that he had better accept the slavetrader's offer. Meeting him in the street,

he inquired when he would leave town. "Today, at ten o'clock," he replied. "Ah, do you go so soon?" said

the doctor; "I have been reflecting upon your proposition, and I have concluded to let you have the three

negroes if you will say nineteen hundred dollars." After some parley, the trader agreed to his terms. He

wanted the bill of sale drawn up and signed immediately, as he had a great deal to attend to during the short

time he remained in town. The doctor went to the jail and told William he would take him back into his

service if he would promise to behave himself, but he replied that he would rather be sold. "And you shall be

sold, you ungrateful rascal!" exclaimed the doctor. In less than an hour the money was paid, the papers were

signed, sealed, and delivered, and my brother and children were in the hands of the trader.

It was a hurried transaction; and after it was over, the doctor's characteristic caution returned. He went back

to the speculator, and said, "Sir, I have come to lay you under obligations of a thousand dollars not to sell any

of those negroes in this state." "You come too late," replied the trader; "our bargain is closed." He had, in

fact, already sold them to Mr. Sands, but he did not mention it. The doctor required him to put irons on "that

rascal, Bill," and to pass through the back streets when he took his gang out of town. The trader was privately

instructed to concede to his wishes. My good old aunt went to the jail to bid the children good by, supposing

them to be the speculator's property, and that she should never see them again. As she held Benny in her lap,

he said, "Aunt Nancy, I want to show you something." He led her to the door and showed her a long row of

marks, saying, "Uncle Will taught me to count. I have made a mark for every day I have been here, and it is

sixty days. It is a long time; and the speculator is going to take me and Ellen away. He's a bad man. It's wrong

My grandmother was told that the children would be restored to her, but she was requested to act as if they

were really to be sent away. Accordingly, she made up a bundle of clothes and went to the jail. When she

arrived, she found William handcuffed among the gang, and the children in the trader's cart. The scene

seemed too much like reality. She was afraid there might have been some deception or mistake. She fainted,

When the wagon stopped at the hotel, several gentlemen came out and proposed to purchase William, but the

trader refused their offers, without stating that he was already sold. And now came the trying hour for that

drove of human beings, driven away like cattle, to be sold they knew not where. Husbands were torn from

wives, parents from children, never to look upon each other again this side the grave. There was wringing of

Dr. Flint had the supreme satisfaction of seeing the wagon leave town, and Mrs. Flint had the gratification of

supposing that my children were going "as far as wind and water would carry them." According to

agreement, my uncle followed the wagon some miles, until they came to an old farm house. There the trader

took the irons from William, and as he did so, he said, "You are a damned clever fellow. I should like to own

you myself. Them gentlemen that wanted to buy you said you was a bright, honest chap, and I must git you a

good home. I guess your old master will swear tomorrow, and call himself an old fool for selling the

children. I reckon he'll never git their mammy back agin. I expect she's made tracks for the north. Good by,

old boy. Remember, I have done you a good turn. You must thank me by coaxing all the pretty gals to go

with me next fall. That's going to be my last trip. This trading in niggers is a bad business for a fellow that's

got any heart. Move on, you fellows!" And the gang went on, God alone knows where.

Much as I despise and detest the class of slavetraders, whom I regard as the vilest wretches on earth, I must

do this man the justice to say that he seemed to have some feeling. He took a fancy to William in the jail, and

wanted to buy him. When he heard the story of my children, he was willing to aid them in getting out of Dr.

My uncle procured a wagon and carried William and the children back to town. Great was the joy in my

grandmother's house! The curtains were closed, and the candles lighted. The happy grandmother cuddled the

little ones to her bosom. They hugged her, and kissed her, and clapped their hands, and shouted. She knelt

down and poured forth one of her heartfelt prayers of thanksgiving to god. The father was present for a while;

and though such a "parental relation" as existed between him and my children takes slight hold on the hearts

or consciences of slaveholders, it must be that he experienced some moments of pure joy in witnessing the

I had no share in the rejoicings of that evening. The events of the day had not come to my knowledge. And

now I will tell you something that happened to me; though you will, perhaps, think it illustrates the

superstition of slaves. I sat in my usual place on the floor near the window, where I could hear much that was

said in the street without being seen. The family had retired for the night, and all was still. I sat there thinking

of my children, when I heard a low strain of music. A band of serenaders were under the window, playing

"Home, sweet home." I listened till the sounds did not seem like music, but like the moaning of children. It

seemed as if my heart would burst. I rose from my sitting posture, and knelt. A streak of moonlight was on

the floor before me, and in the midst of it appeared the forms of my two children. They vanished; but I had

seen them distinctly. Some will call it a dream, others a vision. I know not how to account for it, but it made a

strong impression on my mind, and I felt certain something had happened to my little ones.

I had not seen Betty since morning. Now I heard her softly turning the key. As soon as she entered, I clung to

her, and begged her to let me know whether my children were dead, or whether they were sold; for I had seen

their spirits in my room, and I was sure something had happened to them. "Lor, chile," said she, putting her

arms round me, "'you's got de highsterics. I'll sleep wid you tonight, 'cause you'll make a noise, and ruin

missis. Something has stirred you up mightily. When you is done cryin, I'll talk wid you. De chillem is well,

and mighty happy. I seed 'em myself. Does dat satisfy you? Dar, chile, be still! Somebody vill hear you." I

tried to obey her. She lay down, and was soon sound asleep; but no sleep would come to my eyelids.

At dawn, Betty was up and off to the kitchen. The hours passed on, and the vision of the night kept constantly

recurring to my thoughts. After a while I heard the voices of two women in the entry. In one of them I

recognized the housemaid. The other said to her, "Did you know Linda Brent's children was sold to the

speculator yesterday. They say ole massa Flint was mighty glad to see 'em drove out of town; but they say

they've come back agin. I 'spect it's all their daddy's doings. They say he's bought William too. Lor! how it

will take hold of ole massa Flint! I'm going roun' to aunt Marthy's to see 'bout it."

I bit my lips till the blood came to keep from crying out. Were my children with their grandmother, or had the

speculator carried them off? The suspense was dreadful. Would Betty never come, and tell me the truth about

it? At last she came, and I eagerly repeated what I had overheard. Her face was one broad, bright smile. "'Lor,

you foolish ting!" said she. "I'se gwine to tell you all 'bout it. De gals is eating thar breakfast, and missus tole

me to let her tell you; but, poor creeter! t'aint right to keep you waitin', and I'se gwine to tell you. Brudder,

chillem, all is bought by de daddy! I'se laugh more dan nuff, tinking 'bout ole massa Flint. Lor, how he vill

swar! He's got ketched dis time, any how; but I must be getting out o' dis, or dem gals vill come and ketch

Betty went off laughing; and I said to myself, "Can it be true that my children are free? I have not suffered for

Great surprise was expressed when it was known that my children had returned to their grandmother's. The

news spread through the town, and many a kind word was bestowed on the little ones.

Dr. Flint went to my grandmother's to ascertain who was the owner of my children, and she informed him. "I

expected as much," said he. "I am glad to hear it. I have had news from Linda lately, and I shall soon have

her. You need never expect to see her free. She shall be my slave as long as I live, and when I am dead she

shall be the slave of my children. If I ever find out that you or Phillip had anything to do with her running off

I'll kill him. And if I meet William in the street, and he presumes to look at me, I'll flog him within an inch of

As he turned to leave, my grandmother said something to remind him of his own doings. He looked back

I had my season of joy and thanksgiving. It was the first time since my childhood that I had experienced any

real happiness. I heard of the old doctor's threats, but they no longer had the same power to trouble me. The

darkest cloud that hung over my life had rolled away. Whatever slavery might do to me, it could not shackle

my children. If I fell a sacrifice, my little ones were saved. It was well for me that my simple heart believed

all that had been promised for their welfare. It is always better to trust than to doubt.

THE doctor, more exasperated than ever, again tried to revenge himself on my relatives. He arrested uncle

Phillip on the charge of having aided my flight. He was carried before a court, and swore truly that he knew

nothing of my intention to escape, and that he had not seen me since I left my master's plantation. The doctor

then demanded that he should give bail for five hundred dollars that he would have nothing to do with me.

Several gentlemen offered to be security for him; but Mr. Sand told him he had better go back to jail, and he

The news of his arrest was carried to my grandmother, who conveyed it to Betty. In the kindness of her heart,

she again stowed me away under the floor; and as she walked back and forth, in the performance of her

culinary duties, she talked apparently to herself, but with the intention that I should hear what was going on. I

hoped that my uncle's imprisonment would last but few days; still I was anxious. I thought it likely Dr. Flint

would do his utmost to taunt and insult him, and I was afraid my uncle might lose control of himself, and

retort in some way that would be construed into a punishable offence; and I was well aware that in court his

word would not be taken against any white man's. The search for me was renewed. Something had excited

suspicions that I was in the vicinity. They searched the house I was in. I heard their steps and their voices. At

night, when all were asleep, Betty came to release me from my place of confinement. The fright I had

undergone, the constrained posture, and the dampness of the ground, made me ill for several days. My uncle

was soon after taken out of prison; but the movements of all my relatives, and of all our friends, were very

We all saw that I could not remain where I was much longer. I had already staid longer than was intended,

and I knew my presence must be a source of perpetual anxiety to my kind benefactress. During this time, my

friends had laid many plans for my escape, but the extreme vigilance of my persecutors made it impossible to

One morning I was much startled by hearing somebody trying to get into my room. Several keys were tried,

but none fitted. I instantly conjectured it was one of the housemaids; and I concluded she must either have

heard some noise in the room, or have noticed the entrance of Betty. When my friend came, at her usual time,

I told her what had happened. "I knows who it was," said she. " 'Pend upon it, 'twas dat Jenny. Dat nigger

allers got de debble in her." I suggested that she might have seen or heard something that excited her

"Tut! tut! chile! " exclaimed Betty, "she ain't seen notin', nor hearn notin'. She only 'spects someting. Dat's

all. She wants to fine out who hab cut and make my gownd. But she won't nebber know. Dat's sartin. I'll git

"Do as you tink best, poor chile," she replied. "I'se mighty 'fraid dat 'ere nigger vill pop on you some time."

She reported the incident to her mistress, and received orders to keep Jenny busy in the kitchen till she could

see my uncle Phillip. He told her he would send a friend for me that very evening. She told him she hoped I

was going to the north, for it was very dangerous for me to remain any where in the vicinity. Alas, it was not

an easy thing, for one in my situation, to go to the north. In order to leave the coast quite clear for me, she

went into the country to spend the day with her brother, and took Jenny with her. She was afraid to come and

bid me good by, but she left a kind message with Betty. I heard her carriage roll from the door, and I never

again saw her who had so generously befriended the poor, trembling fugitive! Though she was a slaveholder,

I had not the slightest idea where I was going. Betty brought me a suit of sailor's clothes,jacket, trowsers,

and tarpaulin hat. She gave me a small bundle, saying I might need it where I was going. In cheery tones, she

exclaimed, "I'se so glad you is gwine to free parts! Don't forget ole Betty. P'raps I'll come 'long by and by."

I tried to tell her how grateful I felt for all her kindness, but she interrupted me. "I don't want no tanks, honey.

I'se glad I could help you, and I hope de good Lord vill open de path for you. I'se gwine wid you to de lower

I performed to her satisfaction. At the gate I found Peter, a young colored man, waiting for me. I had known

him for years. He had been an apprentice to my father, and had always borne a good character. I was not

afraid to trust to him. Betty bade me a hurried good by, and we walked off. "Take courage, Linda," said my

friend Peter. "I've got a dagger, and no man shall take you from me, unless he passes over my dead body."

It was a long time since I had taken a walk out of doors, and the fresh air revived me. It was also pleasant to

hear a human voice speaking to me above a whisper. I passed several people whom I knew, but they did not

recognize me in my disguise. I prayed internally that, for Peter's sake, as well as my own, nothing might

occur to bring out his dagger. We walked on till we came to the wharf. My aunt Nancy's husband was a

seafaring man, and it had been deemed necessary to let him into our secret. He took me into his boat, rowed

out to a vessel not far distant, and hoisted me on board. We three were the only occupants of the vessel. I now

ventured to ask what they proposed to do with me. They said I was to remain on board till near dawn, and

then they would hide me in Snaky Swamp, till my uncle Phillip had prepared a place of concealment for me.

If the vessel had been bound north, it would have been of no avail to me, for it would certainly have been

searched. About four o'clock, we were again seated in the boat, and rowed three miles to the swamp. My fear

of snakes had been increased by the venomous bite I had received, and I dreaded to enter this hidingplace.

But I was in no situation to choose, and I gratefully accepted the best that my poor, persecuted friends could

Peter landed first, and with a large knife cut a path through bamboos and briers of all descriptions. He came

back, took me in his arms, and carried me to a seat made among the bamboos. Before we reached it, we were

covered with hundreds of mosquitos. In an hour's time they had so poisoned my flesh that I was a pitiful sight

to behold. As the light increased, I saw snake after snake crawling round us. I had been accustomed to the

sight of snakes all my life, but these were larger than any I had ever seen. To this day I shudder when I

remember that morning. As evening approached, the number of snakes increased so much that we were

continually obliged to thrash them with sticks to keep them from crawling over us. The bamboos were so

high and so thick that it was impossible to see beyond a very short distance. Just before it became dark we

procured a seat nearer to the entrance of the swamp, being fearful of losing our way back to the boat. It was

not long before we heard the paddle of oars, and the low whistle, which had been agreed upon as a signal. We

made haste to enter the boat, and were rowed back to the vessel. I passed a wretched night; for the heat of the

swamp, the mosquitos, and the constant terror of snakes, had brought on a burning fever. I had just dropped

asleep, when they came and told me it was time to go back to that horrid swamp. I could scarcely summon

courage to rise. But even those large, venomous snakes were less dreadful to my imagination than the white

men in that community called civilized. This time Peter took a quantity of tobacco to burn, to keep off the

mosquitos. It produced the desired effect on them, but gave me nausea and severe headache. At dark we

returned to the vessel. I had been so sick during the day, that Peter declared I should go home that night, if the

devil himself was on patrol. They told me a place of concealment had been provided for me at my

grandmother's. I could not imagine how it was possible to hide me in her house, every nook and corner of

which was known to the Flint family. They told me to wait and see. We were rowed ashore, and went boldly

through the streets, to my grandmother's. I wore my sailor's clothes, and had blackened my face with

charcoal. I passed several people whom I knew. The father of my children came so near that I brushed against

"You must make the most of this walk," said my friend Peter, "for you may not have another very soon."

I thought his voice sounded sad. It was kind of him to conceal from me what a dismal hole was to be my

A SMALL shed had been added to my grandmother's house years ago. Some boards were laid across the

joists at the top, and between these boards and the roof was a very small garret, never occupied by any thing

but rats and mice. It was a pent roof, covered with nothing but shingles, according to the southern custom for

such buildings. The garret was only nine feet long and seven wide. The highest part was three feet high, and

sloped down abruptly to the loose board floor. There was no admission for either light or air. My uncle

Philip, who was a carpenter, had very skilfully made a concealed trapdoor, which communicated with the

storeroom. He had been doing this while I was waiting in the swamp. The storeroom opened upon a piazza.

To this hole I was conveyed as soon as I entered the house. The air was stifling; the darkness total. A bed had

been spread on the floor. I could sleep quite comfortably on one side; but the slope was so sudden that I could

not turn on the other without hitting the room. The rats and mice ran over my bed; but I was weary, and I

slept such sleep as the wretched may, when a tempest has passed over them. Morning came. I knew it only by

the noises I heard; for in my small den day and night were all the same. I suffered for air even more than for

light. But I was not comfortless. I heard the voices of my children. There was joy and there was sadness in

the sound. It made my tears flow. How I longed to speak to them! I was eager to look on their faces; but there

was no hole, no crack, through which I could peep. This continued darkness was oppressive. It seemed

horrible to sit or lie in a cramped position day after day, without one gleam of light. Yet I would have chosen

this, rather than my lot as a slave, though white people considered it an easy one; and it was so compared

with the fate of others. I was never cruelly overworked; I was never lacerated with the whip from head to

foot; I was never so beaten and bruised that I could not turn from one side to the other; I never had my

heelstrings cut to prevent my running away; I was never chained to a log and forced to drag it about, while I

toiled in the fields from morning till night; I was never branded with hot iron, or torn by bloodhounds. On the

contrary, I had always been kindly treated, and tenderly cared for, until I came into the hands of Dr. Flint. I

had never wished for freedom till then. But though my life in slavery was comparatively devoid of hardships,

My food was passed up to me through the trapdoor my uncle had contrived; and my grandmother, my uncle

Phillip, and aunt Nancy would seize such opportunities as they could, to mount up there and chat with me at

the opening. But of course this was not safe in the daytime. It must all be done in darkness. It was impossible

for me to move in an erect position, but I crawled about my den for exercise. One day I hit my head against

something, and found it was a gimlet. My uncle had left it sticking there when he made the trapdoor. I was

as rejoiced as Robinson Crusoe could have been at finding such a treasure. It put a lucky thought into my

head. I said to myself, "Now I will have some light. Now I will see my children. " I did not dare to begin my

work during the daytime, for fear of attracting attention. But I groped round; and having found the side next

the street, where I could frequently see my children, I stuck the gimlet in and waited for evening, I bored

three rows of holes, one above another; then I bored out the interstices between. I thus succeeded in making

one hole about an inch long and an inch broad. I sat by it till late into the night, to enjoy the little whiff of air

that floated in. In the morning I watched for my children. The first person I saw in the street was Dr. Flint. I

had a shuddering, superstitious feeling that it was a bad omen. Several familiar faces passed by. At last I

heard the merry laugh of children, and presently two sweet little faces were looking up at me, as though they

knew I was there, and were conscious of the joy they imparted. How I longed to tell them I was there!

My condition was now a little improved. But for weeks I was tormented by hundreds of little red insects, fine

as a needle's point, that pierced through my skin, and produced an intolerable burning. The good grandmother

gave me herb teas and cooling medicines, and finally I got rid of them. The heat of my den was intense, for

nothing but thin shingles protected me from the scorching summer's sun. But I had my consolations. Through

my peepinghole I could watch the children, and when they were near enough, I could hear their talk. Aunt

Nancy brought me all the news she could hear at Dr. Flint's. From her I learned that the doctor had written to

New York to a colored woman, who had been born and raised in our neighborhood, and had breathed his

contaminating atmosphere. He offered her a reward if she could find out any thing about me. I know not what

was the nature of her reply; but he soon after started for New York in haste, saying to his family that he had

business of importance to transact. I peeped at him as he passed on his way to the steamboat. It was a

satisfaction to have miles of land and water between us, even for a little while; and it was a still greater

satisfaction to know that he believed me to be in the Free States. My little den seemed less dreary than it had

done. He returned, as he did from his former journey to New York, without obtaining any satisfactory

information. When he passed our house next morning, Benny was standing at the gate. He had heard them

say that he had gone to find me, and he called out, "'Dr. Flint, did you bring my mother home? I want to see

her. " The doctor stamped his foot at him in a rage, and exclaimed, "Get out of the way, you little damned

Benny ran terrified into the house, saying, "'You can't put me in jail again. I don't belong to you now." It was

well that the wind carried the words away from the doctor's ear. I told my grandmother of it, when we had

our next conference at the trapdoor; and begged of her not to allow the children to be impertinent to the

Autumn came, with a pleasant abatement of heat. My eyes had become accustomed to the dim light, and by

holding my book or work in a certain position near the aperture I contrived to read and sew. That was a great

relief to the tedious monotony of my life. But when winter came, the cold penetrated through the thin shingle

roof, and I was dreadfully chilled. The winters there are not so long, or so severe, as in northern latitudes; but

the houses are not built to shelter from cold, and my little den was peculiarly comfortless. The kind

grandmother brought me bedclothes and warm drinks. Often I was obliged to lie in bed all day to keep

comfortable; but with all my precautions, my shoulders and feet were frostbitten. O, those long, gloomy days,

with no object for my eye to rest upon, and no thoughts to occupy my mind, except the dreary past and the

uncertain future! I was thankful when there came a day sufficiently mild for me to wrap myself up and sit at

the loophole to watch the passers by. Southerners have the habit of stopping and talking in the streets, and I

heard many conversations not intended to meet my ears. I heard slavehunters planning how to catch some

poor fugitive. Several times I heard allusions to Dr. Flint, myself, and the history of my children, who,

perhaps, were playing near the gate. One would say, "I wouldn't move my little finger to catch her, as old

Flint's property." Another would say, "I'll catch any nigger for the reward. A man ought to have what belongs

to him, if he is a damned brute." The opinion was often expressed that I was in the Free States. Very rarely

did any one suggest that I might be in the vicinity. Had the least suspicion rested on my grandmother's house,

it would have been burned to the ground. But it was the last place they thought of. Yet there was no place,

where slavery existed, that could have afforded me so good a place of concealment.

Dr. Flint and his family repeatedly tried to coax and bribe my children to tell something they had heard said

about me. One day the doctor took them into a shop, and offered them some bright little silver pieces and gay

handkerchiefs if they would tell where their mother was. Ellen shrank away from him, and would not speak;

but Benny spoke up, and said, "Dr. Flint, I don't know where my mother is. I guess she's in New York; and

when you go there again, I wish you'd ask her to come home, for I want to see her; but if you put her in jail,

CHRISTMAS was approaching. Grandmother brought me materials, and I busied myself making some new

garments and little playthings for my children. Were it not that hiring day is near at hand, and many families

are fearfully looking forward to the probability of separation in a few days, Christmas might be a happy

season for the poor slaves. Even slave mothers try to gladden the hearts of their little ones on that occasion.

Benny and Ellen had their Christmas stockings filled. Their imprisoned mother could not have the privilege

of witnessing their surprise and joy. But I had the pleasure of peeping at them as they went into the street

with their new suits on. I heard Benny ask a little playmate whether Santa Claus brought him any thing.

"Yes," replied the boy; "but Santa Claus ain't a real man. It's the children's mothers that put things into the

stockings." "No, that can't be," replied Benny, "for Santa Claus brought Ellen and me these new clothes, and

How I longed to tell him that his mother made those garments, and that many a tear fell on them while she

Every child rises early on Christmas morning to see the Johnkannaus. Without them, Christmas would be

shorn of its greatest attraction. They consist of companies of slaves from the plantations, generally of the

lower class. Two athletic men, in calico wrappers, have a net thrown over them, covered with all manner of

brightcolored stripes. Cows' tails are fastened to their backs, and their heads are decorated with horns. A

box, covered with sheepskin, is called the gumbo box. A dozen beat on this, while other strike triangles and

jawbones, to which bands of dancers keep time. For a month previous they are composing songs, which are

sung on this occasion. These companies, of a hundred each, turn out early in the morning, and are allowed to

go round till twelve o'clock, begging for contributions. Not a door is left unvisited where there is the least

chance of obtaining a penny or a glass of rum. They do not drink while they are out, but carry the rum home

in jugs, to have a carousal. These Christmas donations frequently amount to twenty or thirty dollars. It is

seldom that any white man or child refuses to give them a trifle. If he does, they regale his ears with the

Poor massa, so dey say; Down in de heel, so dey say; Got no money, so dey say; Not one shillin, so dey say;

Christmas is a day of feasting, both with white and colored people. Slaves, who are lucky enough to have a

few shillings, are sure to spend them for good eating; and many a turkey and pig is captured, without saying,

"By your leave, sir." Those who cannot obtain these, cook a 'possum, or a raccoon, from which savory dishes

can be made. My grandmother raised poultry and pigs for sale; and it was her established custom to have both

On this occasion, I was warned to keep extremely quiet, because two guests had been invited. One was the

town constable, and the other was a free colored man, who tried to pass himself off for white, and who was

always ready to do any mean work for the sake of currying favor with white people. My grandmother had a

motive for inviting them. She managed to take them all over the house. All the rooms on the lower floor were

thrown open for them to pass in and out; and after dinner, they were invited up stairs to look at a fine

mocking bird my uncle had just brought home. There, too, the rooms were all thrown open that they might

look in. When I heard them talking on the piazza, my heart almost stood still. I knew this colored man had

spent many nights hunting for me. Every body knew he had the blood of a slave father in his veins; but for

the sake of passing himself off for white, he was ready to kiss the slaveholders' feet. How I despised him! As

for the constable, he wore no false colors. The duties of his office were despicable, but he was superior to his

companion, inasmuch as he did not pretend to be what he was not. Any white man, who could raise money

enough to buy a slave, would have considered himself degraded by being a constable; but the office enabled

its possessor to exercise authority. If he found any slave out after nine o'clock, he could whip him as much as

he liked; and that was a privilege to be coveted. When the guests were ready to depart, my grandmother gave

each of them some of her nice pudding, as a present for their wives. Through my peephole I saw them go

out of the gate, and I was glad when it closed after them. So passed the first Christmas in my den.

WHEN spring returned, and I took in the little patch of green the aperture commanded, I asked myself how

many more summers and winters I must be condemned to spend thus. I longed to draw in a plentiful draught

of fresh air, to stretch my cramped limbs, to have room to stand erect, to feel the earth under my feet again.

My relatives were constantly on the lookout for a chance of escape; but none offered that seemed practicable,

and even tolerably safe. The hot summer came again, and made the turpentine drop from the thin roof over

During the long nights I was restless for want of air, and I had no room to toss and turn. There was but one

compensation; the atmosphere was so stifled that even mosquitos would not condescend to buzz in it. With

all my detestation of Dr. Flint, I could hardly wish him a worse punishment, either in this world or that which

is to come, than to suffer what I suffered in one single summer. Yet the laws allowed him to be out in the free

air, while I, guiltless of crime, was pent up here, as the only means of avoiding the cruelties the laws allowed

him to inflict upon me! I don't know what kept life within me. Again and again, I thought I should die before

long; but I saw the leaves of another autumn whirl through the air, and felt the touch of another winter. In

summer the most terrible thunder storms were acceptable, for the rain came through the roof, and I rolled up

my bed that it might cool the hot boards under it. Later in the season, storms sometimes wet my clothes

through and through, and that was not comfortable when the air grew chilly. Moderate storms I could keep

But uncomfortable as my situation was, I had glimpses of things out of doors, which made me thankful for

my wretched hidingplace. One day I saw a slave pass our gate, muttering, "It's his own, and he can kill it if

he will." My grandmother told me that woman's history. Her mistress had that day seen her baby for the first

time, and in the lineaments of its fair face she saw a likeness to her husband. She turned the bondwoman and

her child out of doors, and forbade her ever to return. The slave went to her master, and told him what had

happened. He promised to talk with her mistress, and make it all right. The next day she and her baby were

Another time I saw a woman rush wildly by, pursued by two men. She was a slave, the wet nurse of her

mistress's children. For some trifling offence her mistress ordered her to be stripped and whipped. To escape

the degradation and the torture, she rushed to the river, jumped in, and ended her wrongs in death.

Senator Brown, of Mississippi, could not be ignorant of many such facts as these, for they are of frequent

occurrence in every Southern State. Yet he stood up in the Congress of the United States, and declared that

slavery was "a great moral, social, and political blessing; a blessing to the master, and a blessing to the

I suffered much more during the second winter than I did during the first. My limbs were benumbed by

inaction, and the cold filled them with cramp. I had a very painful sensation of coldness in my head; even my

face and tongue stiffened, and I lost the power of speech. Of course it was impossible, under the

circumstances, to summon any physician. My brother William came and did all he could for me. Uncle

Phillip also watched tenderly over me; and poor grandmother crept up and down to inquire whether there

were any signs of returning life. I was restored to consciousness by the dashing of cold water in my face, and

found myself leaning against my brother's arm, while he bent over me with streaming eyes. He afterwards

told me he thought I was dying, for I had been in an unconscious state sixteen hours. I next became delirious,

and was in great danger of betraying myself and my friends. To prevent this, they stupefied me with drugs. I

remained in bed six weeks, weary in body and sick at heart. How to get medical advice was the question.

William finally went to a Thompsonian doctor, and described himself as having all my pains and aches. He

returned with herbs, roots, and ointment. He was especially charged to rub on the ointment by a fire; but how

could a fire be made in my little den? Charcoal in a furnace was tried, but there was no outlet for the gas, and

it nearly cost me my life. Afterwards coals, already kindled, were brought up in an iron pan, and placed on

bricks. I was so weak, and it was so long since I had enjoyed the warmth of a fire, that those few coals

actually made me weep. I think the medicines did me some good; but my recovery was very slow. Dark

thoughts passed through my mind as I lay there day after day. I tried to be thankful for my little cell, dismal

as it was, and even to love it, as part of the price I had paid for the redemption of my children. Sometimes I

thought God was a compassionate Father, who would forgive my sins for the sake of my sufferings. At other

times, it seemed to me there was no justice or mercy in the divine government. I asked why the curse of

slavery was permitted to exist, and why I had been so persecuted and wronged from youth upward. These

things took the shape of mystery, which is to this day not so clear to my soul as I trust it will be hereafter.

In the midst of my illness, grandmother broke down under the weight and anxiety and toil. The idea of losing

her, who had always been my best friend and a mother to my children, was the sorest trial I had yet had. O,

how earnestly I prayed that she might recover! How hard it seemed, that I could not tend upon her, who had

One day the screams of a child nerved me with strength to crawl to my peepinghole, and I saw my son

covered with blood. A fierce dog, usually kept chained, had seized and bitten him. A doctor was sent for, and

I heard the groans and screams of my child while the wounds were being sewed up. O, what torture to a

But childhood is like a day in spring, alternately shower and sunshine. Before night Benny was bright and

lively, threatening the destruction of the dog; and great was his delight when the doctor told him the next day

that the dog had bitten another boy and been shot. Benny recovered from his wounds; but it was long before

When my grandmother's illness became known, many ladies, who were her customers, called to bring her

some little comforts, and to inquire whether she had every thing she wanted. Aunt Nancy one night asked

permission to watch with her sick mother, and Mrs. Flint replied, "I don't see any need of your going. I can't

spare you." But when she found other ladies in the neighborhood were so attentive, not wishing to be outdone

in Christian charity, she also sallied forth, in magnificent condescension, and stood by the bedside of her who

had loved her in her infancy, and who had been repaid by such grievous wrongs. She seemed surprised to find

her so ill, and scolded uncle Phillip for not sending for Dr. Flint. She herself sent for him immediately, and he

came. Secure as I was in my retreat, I should have been terrified if I had known he was so near me. He

pronounced my grandmother in a very critical situation, and said if her attending physician wished it, he

would visit her. Nobody wished to have him coming to the house at all hours, and we were not disposed to

As Mrs. Flint went out, Sally told her the reason Benny was lame was, that a dog had bitten him. "I'm glad of

it," replied she. "I wish he had killed him. It would be good news to send to his mother. Her day will come.

The dogs will grab her yet." With these Christian words she and her husband departed, and, to my great

I heard from uncle Phillip, with feelings of unspeakable joy and gratitude, that the crisis was passed and

grandmother would live. I could now say from my heart, "God is merciful. He has spared me the anguish of

THE summer had nearly ended, when Dr. Flint made a third visit to New York, in search of me. Two

candidates were running for Congress, and he returned in season to vote. The father of my children was the

Whig candidate. The doctor had hitherto been a stanch Whig; but now he exerted all his energies for the

defeat of Mr. Sands. He invited large parties of men to dine in the shade of his trees, and supplied them with

plenty of rum and brandy. If any poor fellow drowned his wits in the bowl, and, in the openness of his

convivial heart, proclaimed that he did not mean to vote the Democratic ticket, he was shoved into the street

The doctor expended his liquor in vain. Mr. Sands was elected; an event which occasioned me some anxious

thoughts. He had not emancipated my children, and if he should die they would be at the mercy of his heirs.

Two little voices, that frequently met my ear, seemed to plead with me not to let their father depart without

striving to make their freedom secure. Years had passed since I had spoken to him. I had not even seen him

since the night I passed him, unrecognized, in my disguise of a sailor. I supposed he would call before he left,

to say something to my grandmother concerning the children, and I resolved what course to take.

The day before his departure for Washington I made arrangements, toward evening, to get from my

hidingplace into the storeroom below. I found myself so stiff and clumsy that it was with great difficulty I

could hitch from one resting place to another. When I reached the storeroom my ankles gave way under me,

and I sank exhausted on the floor. It seemed as if I could never use my limbs again. But the purpose I had in

view roused all the strength I had. I crawled on my hands and knees to the window, and, screened behind a

barrel, I waited for his coming. The clock struck nine, and I knew the steamboat would leave between ten and

eleven. My hopes were failing. But presently I heard his voice, saying to some one, "Wait for me a moment. I

wish to see aunt Martha." When he came out, as he passed the window, I said, "Stop one moment, and let me

speak for my children. " He started, hesitated, and then passed on, and went out of the gate. I closed the

shutter I had partially opened, and sank down behind the barrel. I had suffered much; but seldom had I

experienced a keener pang than I then felt. Had my children, then, become of so little consequence to him?

And had he so little feeling for their wretched mother that he would not listen a moment while she pleaded

for them? Painful memories were so busy within me, that I forgot I had not hooked the shutter, till I heard

some one opening it. I looked up. He had come back. "Who called me?" said he, in a low tone. "I did," I

replied. "Oh, Linda," said he, "I knew your voice; but I was afraid to answer, lest my friend should hear me.

Why do you come here? Is it possible you risk yourself in this house? They are mad to allow it. I shall expect

to hear that you are all ruined." I did not wish to implicate him, by letting him know my place of

concealment; so I merely said, "I thought you would come to bid grandmother good by, and so I came here to

speak a few words to you about emancipating my children. Many changes may take place during the six

months you are gone to Washington, and it does not seem right for you to expose them to the risk of such

changes. I want nothing for myself; all I ask is, that you will free my children, or authorize some friend to do

He promised he would do it, and also expressed a readiness to make any arrangements whereby I could be

I heard footsteps approaching, and closed the shutter hastily. I wanted to crawl back to my den, without

letting the family know what I had done; for I knew they would deem it very imprudent. But he stepped back

into the house, to tell my grandmother that he had spoken with me at the storeroom window, and to beg of

her not to allow me to remain in the house over night. He said it was the height of madness for me to be there;

that we should certainly all be ruined. Luckily, he was in too much of a hurry to wait for a reply, or the dear

I tried to go back to my den, but found it more difficult to go up than I had to come down. Now that my

mission was fulfilled, the little strength that had supported me through it was gone, and I sank helpless on the

floor. My grandmother, alarmed at the risk I had run, came into the storeroom in the dark, and locked the

"I am here by the window," I replied. "I couldn't have him go away without emancipating the children. Who

"Come, come, child," said she, "it won't do for you to stay here another minute. You've done wrong; but I

I told her I could not return without assistance, and she must call my uncle. Uncle Phillip came, and pity

prevented him from scolding me. He carried me back to my dungeon, laid me tenderly on the bed, gave me

some medicine, and asked me if there was any thing more he could do. Then he went away, and I was left

My friends feared I should become a cripple for life; and I was so weary of my long imprisonment that, had it

not been for the hope of serving my children, I should have been thankful to die; but, for their sakes, I was

DR. Flint had not given me up. Every now and then he would say to my grandmother that I would yet come

back, and voluntarily surrender myself; and that when I did, I could be purchased by my relatives, or any one

who wished to buy me. I knew his cunning nature too well not to percieve [sic] that this was a trap laid for

me; and so all my friends understood it. I resolved to match my cunning against his cunning. In order to make

him believe that I was in New York, I resolved to write him a letter dated from that place. I sent for my friend

Peter, and asked him if he knew any trustworthy seafaring person, who would carry such a letter to New

York, and put it in the post office there. He said he knew one that he would trust with his own life to the ends

of the world. I reminded him that it was a hazardous thing for him to undertake. He said he knew it, but he

was willing to do any thing to help me. I expressed a wish for a New York paper, to ascertain the names of

some of the streets. He run his hand into his pocket, and said, "Here is half a one, that was round a cap I

bought of a pedler yesterday." I told him the letter would be ready the next evening. He bade me good by,

My uncle Phillip kept watch over the gate until our brief interview was over. Early the next morning, I seated

myself near the little aperture to examine the newspaper. It was a piece of the New York Herald; and, for

once, the paper that systematically abuses the colored people, was made to render them a service. Having

obtained what information I wanted concerning streets and numbers, I wrote two letters, one to my

grandmother, the other to Dr. Flint. I reminded him how he, a grayheaded man, had treated a helpless child,

who had been placed in his power, and what years of misery he had brought upon her. To my grandmother, I

expressed a wish to have my children sent to me at the north, where I could teach them to respect themselves,

and set them a virtuous example; which a slave mother was not allowed to do at the south. I asked her to

direct her answer to a certain street in Boston, as I did not live in New York, though I went there sometimes. I

dated these letters ahead, to allow for the time it would take to carry them, and sent a memorandum of the

date to the messenger. When my friend came for the letters, I said, "God bless and reward you, Peter, for this

disinterested kindness. Pray be careful. If you are detected, both you and I will have to suffer dreadfully. I

have not a relative who would dare to do it for me." He replied, "You may trust to me, Linda. I don't forget

that your father was my best friend, and I will be a friend to his children so long as God lets me live."

It was necessary to tell my grandmother what I had done, in order that she might be ready for the letter, and

prepared to hear what Dr. Flint might say about my being at the north. She was sadly troubled. She felt sure

mischief would come of it. I also told my plan to aunt Nancy, in order that she might report to us what was

said at Dr. Flint's house. I whispered it to her through a crack, and she whispered back, "I hope it will

succeed. I shan't mind being a slave all my life, if I can only see you and the children free."

I had directed that my letters should be put into the New York post office on the 20th of the month. On the

evening of the 24th my aunt came to say that Dr. Flint and his wife had been talking in a low voice about a

letter he had received, and that when he went to his office he promised to bring it when he came to tea. So I

concluded I should hear my letter read the next morning. I told my grandmother Dr. Flint would be sure to

come, and asked her to have him sit near a certain door, and leave it open, that I might hear what he said. The

next morning I took my station within sound of that door, and remained motionless as a statue. It was not

long before I heard the gate slam, and the wellknown footsteps enter the house. He seated himself in the

chair that was placed for him, and said, "Well, Martha, I've brought you a letter from Linda. She has sent me

a letter, also. I know exactly where to find her; but I don't choose to go to Boston for her. I had rather she

would come back of her own accord, in a respectable manner. Her uncle Phillip is the best person to go for

her. With him, she would feel perfectly free to act. I am willing to pay his expenses going and returning. She

shall be sold to her friends. Her children are free; at least I suppose they are; and when you obtain her

freedom, you'll make a happy family. I suppose, Martha, you have no objection to my reading to you the

He broke the seal, and I heard him read it. The old villain! He had suppressed the letter I wrote to

grandmother, and prepared a substitute of his own, the purport of which was as follows:

Dear Grandmother: I have long wanted to write to you; but the disgraceful manner in which I left you and my

children made me ashamed to do it. If you knew how much I have suffered since I ran away, you would pity

and forgive me. I have purchased freedom at a dear rate. If any arrangement could be made for me to return

to the south without being a slave, I would gladly come. If not, I beg of you to send my children to the north.

I cannot live any longer without them. Let me know in time, and I will meet them in New York or

Philadelphia, whichever place best suits my uncle's convenience. Write as soon as possible to your unhappy

daughter, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LINDA.

"It is very much as I expected it would be," said the old hypocrite, rising to go. "You see the foolish girl has

repented of her rashness, and wants to return. We must help her to do it, Martha. Talk with Phillip about it. If

he will go for her, she will trust to him, and come back. I should like an answer tomorrow. Good morning,

As he stepped out on the piazza, he stumbled over my little girl. "Ah, Ellen, is that you?" he said, in his most

"Pretty well, sir," she replied. "I heard you tell grandmother that my mother is coming home. I want to see

"Yes, Ellen, I am going to bring her home very soon," rejoined he; "and you shall see her as much as you

This was as good as a comedy to me, who had heard it all; but grandmother was frightened and distressed,

The next evening Dr. Flint called to talk the matter over. My uncle told him that from what he had heard of

Massachusetts, he judged he should be mobbed if he went there after a runaway slave. "All stuff and

nonsense, Phillip!" replied the doctor. "Do you suppose I want you to kick up a row in Boston? The business

can all be done quietly. Linda writes that she wants to come back. You are her relative, and she would trust

you. The case would be different if I went. She might object to coming with me; and the damned

abolitionists, if they knew I was her master, would not believe me, if I told them she had begged to go back.

They would get up a row; and I should not like to see Linda dragged through the streets like a common negro.

She has been very ungrateful to me for all my kindness; but I forgive her, and want to act the part of a friend

towards her. I have no wish to hold her as my slave. Her friends can buy her as soon as she arrives here."

Finding that his arguments failed to convince my uncle, the doctor "let the cat out of the bag," by saying that

he had written to the mayor of Boston, to ascertain whether there was a person of my description at the street

and number from which my letter was dated. He had omitted this date in the letter he had made up to read to

my grandmother. If I had dated from New York, the old man would probably have made another journey to

that city. But even in that dark region, where knowledge is so carefully excluded from the slave, I had heard

enough about Massachusetts to come to the conclusion that slaveholders did not consider it a comfortable

place to go to in search of a runaway. That was before the Fugitive Slave Law was passed; before

My grandmother, who had become skittish by seeing her family always in danger, came to me with a very

distressed countenance, and said, "What will you do if the mayor of Boston sends him word that you haven't

been there? Then he will suspect the letter was a trick; and maybe he'll find out something about it, and we

"Don't worry yourself, grandmother," said I. "The mayor of Boston won't trouble himself to hunt niggers for

Dr. Flint. The letters will do good in the end. I shall get out of this dark hole some time or other."

"I hope you will, child," replied the good, patient old friend. "You have been here a long time; almost five

years; but whenever you do go, it will break your old grandmother's heart. I should be expecting every day to

hear that you were brought back in irons and put in jail God help you, poor child! Let us be thankful that

some time or other we shall go "where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest. " My heart

The fact that Dr. Flint had written to the mayor of Boston convinced me that he believed my letter to be

genuine, and of course that he had no suspicion of my being any where in the vicinity. It was a great object to

keep up this delusion, for it made me and my friends feel less anxious, and it would be very convenient

whenever there was a chance to escape. I resolved, therefore, to continue to write letters from the north from

Two or three weeks passed, and as no news came from the mayor of Boston, grandmother began to listen to

my entreaty to be allowed to leave my cell, sometimes, and exercise my limbs to prevent my becoming a

cripple. I was allowed to slip down into the small storeroom, early in the morning, and remain there a little

while. The room was all filled up with barrels, except a small open space under my trapdoor. This faced the

door, the upper part of which was of glass, and purposely left uncurtained, that the curious might look in. The

air of this palce [place] was close; but it was so much better than the atmosphere of my cell, that I dreaded to

return. I came down as soon as it was light, and remained till eight o'clock, when people began to be about,

and there was danger that some one might come on the piazza. I had tried various applications to bring

warmth and feeling into my limbs, but without avail. They were so numb and stiff that it was a painful effort

to move; and had my enemies come upon me during the first mornings I tried to exercise them a little in the

small unoccupied space of the storeroom, it would have been impossible for me to have escaped.

I MISSED the company and kind attentions of my brother William, who had gone to Washington with his

master, Mr. Sands. We received several letters from him, written without any allusion to me, but expressed in

such a manner that I knew he did not forget me. I disguised my hand, and wrote to him in the same manner. It

was a long session; and when it closed, William wrote to inform us that Mr. Sands was going to the north, to

be gone some time, and that he was to accompany him. I knew that his master had promised to give him his

freedom, but no time had been specified. Would William trust to a slave's chances? I remembered how we

used to talk together, in our young days, about obtaining our freedom, and I thought it very doubtful whether

Grandmother received a letter from Mr. Sands, saying that William had proved a most faithful servant, and he

would also say a valued friend; that no mother had ever trained a better boy. He said he had travelled through

the Northern States and Canada; and though the abolitionists had tried to decoy him away, they had never

We expected letters from William, describing the novelties of his journey, but none came. In time, it was

reported that Mr. Sands would return late in the autumn, accompanied by a bride. Still no letters from

William. I felt almost sure I should never see him again on southern soil; but had he no word of comfort to

send to his friends at home? to the poor captive in her dungeon? My thoughts wandered through the dark

past, and over the uncertain future. Alone in my cell, where no eye but God's could see me, I wept bitter tears.

How earnestly I prayed to him to restore me to my children, and enable me to be a useful woman and a good

At last the day arrived for the return of the travellers. Grandmother had made loving preparations to welcome

her absent boy back to the old hearthstone. When the dinner table was laid, William's plate occupied its old

place. The stage coach went by empty. My grandmother waited dinner. She thought perhaps he was

necessarily detained by his master. In my prison I listened anxiously, expecting every moment to hear my

dear brother's voice and step. In the course of the afternoon a lad was sent by Mr. Sands to tell grandmother

that William did not return with him; that the abolitionists had decoyed him away. But he begged her not to

feel troubled about it, for he felt confident she would see William in a few days. As soon as he had time to

reflect he would come back, for he could never expect to be so well off at the north as he had been with him.

If you had seen the tears, and heard the sobs, you would have thought the messenger had brought tidings of

death instead of freedom. Poor old grandmother felt that she should never see her darling boy again. And I

was selfish. I thought more of what I had lost, than of what my brother had gained. A new anxiety began to

trouble me. Mr. Sands had expended a good deal of money, and would naturally feel irritated by the loss he

had incurred. I greatly feared this might injure the prospects of my children, who were now becoming

valuable property. I longed to have their emancipation made certain. The more so, because their master and

father was now married. I was too familiar with slavery not to know that promises made to slaves, though

with kind intentions, and sincere at the time, depend upon many contingencies for their fulfillment.

Much as I wished William to be free, the step he had taken made me sad and anxious. The following Sabbath

was calm and clear; so beautiful that it seemed like a Sabbath in the eternal world. My grandmother brought

the children out on the piazza, that I might hear their voices. She thought it would comfort me in my

despondency; and it did. They chatted merrily, as only children can. Benny said, "Grandmother, do you think

uncle Will has gone for good? Won't he ever come back again? May be he'll find mother. If he does, won't

she be glad to see him! Why don't you and uncle Phillip, and all of us, go and live where mother is? I should

"Yes, I should like it," replied Ellen; "but how could we find her? Do you know the place, grandmother? I

Benny was just beginning to describe me when they were interrupted by an old slave woman, a near

neighbor, named Aggie. This poor creature had witnessed the sale of her children, and seen them carried off

to parts unknown, without any hopes of ever hearing from them again. She saw that my grandmother had

been weeping, and she said, in a sympathizing tone, "What's the matter, aunt Marthy?"

"O Aggie," she replied, "it seems as if I shouldn't have any of my children or grandchildren left to hand me a

drink when I'm dying, and lay my old body in the ground. My boy didn't come back with Mr. Sands. He staid

Poor old Aggie clapped her hands for joy. "Is dat what you's crying fur?" she exclaimed. "Git down on your

knees and bress de Lord! I don't know whar my poor chillern is, and I nebber 'spect to know. You don't know

whar poor Linda's gone to; but you do know whar her brudder is. He's in free parts; and dat's de right place.

Don't murmur at de Lord's doings, but git down on your knees and tank him for his goodness."

My selfishness was rebuked by what poor Aggie said. She rejoiced over the escape of one who was merely

her fellowbondman, while his own sister was only thinking what his good fortune might cost her children. I

knelt and prayed God to forgive me; and I thanked him from my heart, that one of my family was saved from

It was not long before we received a letter from William. He wrote that Mr. Sands had always treated him

kindly, and that he had tried to do his duty to him faithfully. But ever since he was a boy, he had longed to be

free; and he had already gone through enough to convince him he had better not lose the chance that offered.

He concluded by saying, "Don't worry about me, dear grandmother. I shall think of you always; and it will

spur me on to work hard and try to do right. When I have earned money enough to give you a home, perhaps

Mr. Sands told my uncle Phillip the particulars about William's leaving him. He said, "I trusted him as if he

were my own brother, and treated him as kindly. The abolitionists talked to him in several places; but I had

no idea they could tempt him. However, I don't blame William. He's young and inconsiderate, and those

Northern rascals decoyed him. I must confess the scamp was very bold about it. I met him coming down the

steps of the Astor House with his trunk on his shoulder, and I asked him where he was going. He said he was

going to change his old trunk. I told him it was rather shabby, and asked if he didn't need some money. He

said, No, thanked me, and went off. He did not return so soon as I expected; but I waited patiently. At last I

went to see if our trunks were packed, ready for our journey. I found them locked, and a sealed note on the

table informed me where I could find the keys. The fellow even tried to be religious. He wrote that he hoped

God would always bless me, and reward me for my kindness; that he was not unwilling to serve me; but he

wanted to be a free man; and that if I thought he did wrong, he hoped I would forgive him. I intended to give

him his freedom in five years. He might have trusted me. He has shown himself ungrateful; but I shall not go

I afterwards heard an account of the affair from William himself. He had not been urged away by

abolitionists. He needed no information they could give him about slavery to stimulate his desire for freedom.

He looked at his hands, and remembered that they were once in irons. What security had he that they would

not be so again? Mr. Sands was kind to him; but he might indefinitely postpone the promise he had made to

give him his freedom. He might come under pecuniary embarrassments, and his property be seized by

creditors; or he might die, without making any arrangements in his favor. He had too often known such

accidents to happen to slaves who had kind masters, and he wisely resolved to make sure of the present

opportunity to own himself. He was scrupulous about taking any money from his master on false pretences;

so he sold his best clothes to pay for his passage to Boston. The slaveholders pronounced him a base,

ungrateful wretch, for thus requiting his master's indulgence. What would they have done under similar

When Dr. Flint's family heard that William had deserted Mr. Sands, they chuckled greatly over the news.

Mrs. Flint made her usual manifestations of Christian feeling, by saying, "I'm glad of it. I hope he'll never get

him again. I like to see people paid back in their own coin. I reckon Linda's children will have to pay for it. I

should be glad to see them in the speculator's hands again, for I'm tired of seeing those little niggers march

MRS. Flint proclaimed her intention of informing Mrs. Sands who was the father of my children. She

likewise proposed to tell her what an artful devil I was; that I had made a great deal of trouble in her family;

that when Mr. Sands was at the north, she didn't doubt I had followed him in disguise, and persuaded William

to run away. She had some reason to entertain such an idea; for I had written from the north, from time to

time, and I dated my letters from various places. Many of them fell into Dr. Flint's hands, as I expected they

would; and he must have come to the conclusion that I travelled about a good deal. He kept a close watch

over my children, thinking they would eventually lead to my detection. A new and unexpected trial was in

store for me. One day, when Mr. Sands and his wife were walking in the street, they met Benny. The lady

took a fancy to him, and exclaimed, "What a pretty little negro! Whom does he belong to?"

Benny did not hear the answer; but he came home very indignant with the stranger lady, because she had

called him a negro. A few days afterwards, Mr. Sands called on my grandmother, and told her he wanted her

to take the children to his house. He said he had informed his wife of his relation to them, and told her they

When he had gone, my grandmother came and asked what I would do. The question seemed a mockery. What

could I do? They were Mr. Sands's slaves, and their mother was a slave, whom he had represented to be dead.

Perhaps he thought I was. I was too much pained and puzzled to come to any decision; and the children were

Mrs. Sands had a sister from Illinois staying with her. This lady, who had no children of her own, was so

much pleased with Ellen, that she offered to adopt her, and bring her up as she would a daughter. Mrs. Sands

wanted to take Benjamin. When grandmother reported this to me, I was tried almost beyond endurance. Was

this all I was to gain by what I had suffered for the sake of having my children free? True, the prospect

seemed fair; but I knew too well how lightly slaveholders held such "parental relations." If pecuniary troubles

should come, or if the new wife required more money than could conveniently be spared, my children might

be thought of as a convenient means of raising funds. I had no trust in thee, O Slavery! Never should I know

I was too proud to ask Mr. Sands to do any thing for my own benefit; but I could bring myself to become a

supplicant for my children. I resolved to remind him of the promise he had made me, and to throw myself

upon his honor for the performance of it. I persuaded my grandmother to go to him, and tell him I was not

dead, and that I earnestly entreated him to keep the promise he had made me; that I had heard of the recent

proposals concerning my children, and did not feel easy to accept them; that he had promised to emancipate

them, and it was time for him to redeem his pledge. I knew there was some risk in thus betraying that I was in

the vicinity; but what will not a mother do for her children? He received the message with surprise, and said,

"The children are free. I have never intended to claim them as slaves. Linda may decide their fate. In my

opinion, they had better be sent to the north. I don't think they are quite safe here. Dr. Flint boasts that they

are still in his power. He says they were his daughter's property, and as she was not of age when they were

So, then, after all I had endured for their sakes, my poor children were between two fires; between my old

master and their new master! And I was powerless. There was no protecting arm of the law for me to invoke.

Mr. Sands proposed that Ellen should go, for the present, to some of his relatives, who had removed to

Brooklyn, Long Island. It was promised that she should be well taken care of, and sent to school. I consented

to it, as the best arrangement I could make for her. My grandmother, of course, negotiated it all; and Mrs.

Sands knew of no other person in the transaction. She proposed that they should take Ellen with them to

Washington, and keep her till they had a good chance of sending her, with friends, to Brooklyn. She had an

infant daughter. I had had a glimpse of it, as the nurse passed with it in her arms. It was not a pleasant thought

to me, that the bondwoman's child should tend her freeborn sister; but there was no alternative. Ellen was

made ready for the journey. O, how it tried my heart to send her away, so young, alone, among strangers!

Without a mother's love to shelter her from the storms of life; almost without memory of a mother! I doubted

whether she and Benny would have for me the natural affection that children feel for a parent. I thought to

myself that I might perhaps never see my daughter again, and I had a great desire that she should look upon

me, before she went, that she might take my image with her in her memory. It seemed to me cruel to have her

brought to my dungeon. It was sorrow enough for her young heart to know that her mother was a victim of

slavery, without seeing the wretched hidingplace to which it had driven her. I begged permission to pass the

last night in one of the open chambers, with my little girl. They thought I was crazy to think of trusting such a

young child with my perilous secret. I told them I had watched her character, and I felt sure she would not

betray me; that I was determined to have an interview, and if they would not facilitate it, I would take my

own way to obtain it. They remonstrated against the rashness of such a proceeding; but finding they could not

change my purpose, they yielded. I slipped through the trapdoor into the storeroom, and my uncle kept

watch at the gate, while I passed into the piazza and went up stairs, to the room I used to occupy. It was more

than five years since I had seen it; and how the memories crowded on me! There I had taken shelter when my

mistress drove me from her house; there came my old tyrant, to mock, insult, and curse me; there my children

were first laid in my arms; there I had watched over them, each day with a deeper and sadder love; there I had

knelt to God, in anguish of heart, to forgive the wrong I had done. How vividly it all came back! And after

In the midst of these meditations, I heard footsteps on the stairs. The door opened, and my uncle Phillip came

in, leading Ellen by the hand. I put my arms round her, and said, "Ellen, my dear child, I am your mother."

She drew back a little, and looked at me; then, with sweet confidence, she laid her cheek against mine, and I

folded her to the heart that had been so long desolated. She was the first to speak. Raising her head, she said,

inquiringly, "You really are my mother?" I told her I really was; that during all the long time she had not seen

me, I had loved her most tenderly; and that now she was going away, I wanted to see her and talk with her,

that she might remember me. With a sob in her voice, she said, "I'm glad you've come to see me; but why

didn't you ever come before? Benny and I have wanted so much to see you! He remembers you, and

sometimes he tells me about you. Why didn't you come home when Dr. Flint went to bring you?"

I answered, "I couldn't come before, dear. But now that I am with you, tell me whether you like to go away."

"I don't know," said she, crying. "Grandmother says I ought not to cry; that I am going to a good place, where

I can learn to read and write, and that by and by I can write her a letter. But I shan't have Benny, or

grandmother, or uncle Phillip, or any body to love me. Can't you go with me? O, do go, dear mother!"

I told her I couldn't go now; but sometime I would come to her, and then she and Benny and I would live

together, and have happy times. She wanted to run and bring Benny to see me now. I told her he was going to

the north, before long, with uncle Phillip, and then I would come to see him before he went away. I asked if

she would like to have me stay all night and sleep with her. "O, yes," she replied. Then, turning to her uncle,

she said, pleadingly, "May I stay? Please, uncle! She is my own mother." He laid his hand on her head, and

said, solemnly, "Ellen, this is the secret you have promised grandmother never to tell. If you ever speak of it

to any body, they will never let you see your grandmother again, and your mother can never come to

Brooklyn. " "Uncle," she replied, "I will never tell." He told her she might stay with me; and when he had

gone, I took her in my arms and told her I was a slave, and that was the reason she must never say she had

seen me. I exhorted her to be a good child, to try to please the people where she was going, and that God

would raise her up friends. I told her to say her prayers, and remember always to pray for her poor mother,

and that God would permit us to meet again. She wept, and I did not check her tears. Perhaps she would

never again have a chance to pour her tears into a mother's bosom. All night she nestled in my arms, and I

had no inclination to slumber. The moments were too precious to lose any of them. Once, when I thought she

was asleep, I kissed her forehead softly, and she said, "I am not asleep, dear mother. "

Before dawn they came to take me back to my den. I drew aside the window curtain, to take a last look of my

child. The moonlight shone on her face, and I bent over her, as I had done years before, that wretched night

when I ran away. I hugged her close to my throbbing heart; and tears, too sad for such young eyes to shed,

flowed down her cheeks, as she gave her last kiss, and whispered in my ear, "Mother, I will never tell." And

When I got back to my den, I threw myself on the bed and wept there alone in the darkness. It seemed as if

my heart would burst. When the time for Ellen's departure drew nigh, I could hear neighbors and friends

saying to her, "Good by, Ellen. I hope your poor mother will find you out. Won't you be glad to see her!" She

replied, "Yes, ma'am;" and they little dreamed of the weighty secret that weighed down her young heart. She

was an affectionate child, but naturally very reserved, except with those she loved, and I felt secure that my

secret would be safe with her. I heard the gate close after her, with such feelings as only a slave mother can

experience. During the day my meditations were very sad. Sometimes I feared I had been very selfish not to

give up all claim to her, and let her go to Illinois, to be adopted by Mrs. Sands's sister. It was my experience

of slavery that decided me against it. I feared that circumstances might arise that would cause her to be sent

back. I felt confident that I should go to New York myself; and then I should be able to watch over her, and in

Dr. Flint's family knew nothing of the proposed arrangement till after Ellen was gone, and the news

displeased them greatly. Mrs. Flint called on Mrs. Sands's sister to inquire into the matter. She expressed her

opinion very freely as to the respect Mr. Sands showed for his wife, and for his own character, in

acknowledging those "young niggers." And as for sending Ellen away, she pronounced it to be just as much

stealing as it would be for him to come and take a piece of furniture out of her parlor. She said her daughter

was not of age to sign the bill of sale, and the children were her property; and when she became of age, or

Miss Emily Flint, the little girl to whom I had been bequeathed, was now in her sixteenth year. Her mother

considered it all right and honorable for her, or her future husband, to steal my children; but she did not

understand how any body could hold up their heads in respectable society, after they had purchased their own

children, as Mr. Sands had done. Dr. Flint said very little. Perhaps he thought that Benny would be less likely

to be sent away if he kept quiet. One of my letters, that fell into his hands, was dated from Canada; and he

seldom spoke of me now. This state of things enabled me to slip down into the storeroom more frequently,

Days, weeks, and months passed, and there came no news of Ellen. I sent a letter to Brooklyn, written in my

grandmother's name, to inquire whether she had arrived there. Answer was returned that she had not. I wrote

to her in Washington; but no notice was taken of it. There was one person there, who ought to have had some

sympathy with the anxiety of the child's friends at home; but the links of such relations as he had formed with

me, are easily broken and cast away as rubbish. Yet how protectingly and persuasively he once talked to the

poor, helpless slave girl! And how entirely I trusted him! But now suspicions darkened my mind. Was my

If the secret memoirs of many members of Congress should be published, curious details would be unfolded.

I once saw a letter from a member of Congress to a slave, who was the mother of six of his children. He

wrote to request that she would send her children away from the great house before his return, as he expected

to be accompanied by friends. The woman could not read, and was obliged to employ another to read the

letter. The existence of the colored children did not trouble this gentleman, it was only the fear that friends

At the end of six months, a letter came to my grandmother, from Brooklyn. It was written by a young lady in

the family, and announced that Ellen had just arrived. It contained the following message from her: "I do try

to do just as you told me to, and I pray for you every night and morning." I understood that these words were

meant for me; and they were a balsam to my heart. The writer closed her letter by saying, "Ellen is a nice

little girl, and we shall like to have her with us. My cousin, Mr. Sands, has given her to me, to be my little

waiting maid. I shall send her to school, and I hope some day she will write to you herself." This letter

perplexed and troubled me. Had my child's father merely placed her there till she was old enough, to support

herself? Or had he given her to his cousin, as a piece of property? If the last idea was correct, his cousin

might return to the south at any time, and hold Ellen as a slave. I tried to put away from me the painful

thought that such a foul wrong could have been done to us. I said to myself, "Surely there must be some

justice in man;" then I remembered, with a sigh, how slavery perverted all the natural feelings of the human

heart. It gave me a pang to look on my lighthearted boy. He believed himself free; and to have him brought

under the yoke of slavery, would be more than I could bear. How I longed to have him safely out of the reach

I HAVE mentioned my greataunt, who was a slave in Dr. Flint's family, and who had been my refuge during

the shameful persecutions I suffered from him. This aunt had been married at twenty years of age; that is, as

far as slaves can marry. She had the consent of her master and mistress, and a clergyman performed the

ceremony. But it was a mere form, without any legal value. Her master or mistress could annul it any day

they pleased. She had always slept on the floor in the entry, near Mrs. Flint's chamber door, that she might be

within call. When she was married, she was told she might have the use of a small room in an outhouse. Her

mother and her husband furnished it. He was a seafaring man, and was allowed to sleep there when he was at

home. But on the wedding evening, the bride was ordered to her old post on the entry floor.

Mrs. Flint, at that time, had no children; but she was expecting to be a mother, and if she should want a drink

of water in the night, what could she do without her slave to bring it? So my aunt was compelled to lie at her

door, until one midnight she was forced to leave, to give premature birth to a child. In a fortnight she was

required to resume her place on the entry floor, because Mrs. Flint's babe needed her attentions. She kept her

station there through summer and winter, until she had given premature birth to six children; and all the while

she was employed as nightnurse to Mrs. Flint's children. Finally, toiling all day, and being deprived of rest

at night, completely broke down her constitution, and Dr. Flint declared it was impossible she could ever

become the mother of a living child. The fear of losing so valuable a servant by death, now induced them to

allow her to sleep in her little room in the outhouse, except when there was sickness in the family. She

afterwards had two feeble babes, one of whom died in a few days, and the other in four weeks. I well

remember her patient sorrow as she held the last dead baby in her arms. "I wish it could have lived," she said;

"it is not the will of God that any of my children should live. But I will try to be fit to meet their little spirits

Aunt Nancy was housekeeper and waitingmaid in Dr. Flint's family. Indeed, she was the factotum of the

household. Nothing went on well without her. She was my mother's twin sister, and, as far as was in her

power, she supplied a mother's place to us orphans. I slept with her all the time I lived in my old master's

house, and the bond between us was very strong. When my friends tried to discourage me from running

away, she always encouraged me. When they thought I had better return and ask my master's pardon, because

there was no possibility of escape, she sent me word never to yield. She said if I persevered I might, perhaps,

gain the freedom of my children; and even if I perished in doing it, that was better than to leave them to groan

under the same persecutions that had blighted my own life. After I was shut up in my dark cell, she stole

away, whenever she could, to bring me the news and say something cheering. How often did I kneel down to

listen to her words of consolation, whispered through a crack! "I am old, and have not long to live," she used

to say; "and I could die happy if I could only see you and the children free. You must pray to God, Linda, as I

do for you, that he will lead you out of this darkness. " I would beg her not to worry herself on my account;

that there was an end of all suffering sooner or later, and that whether I lived in chains or in freedom, I should

always remember her as the good friend who had been the comfort of my life. A word from her always

strengthened me; and not me only. The whole family relied upon her judgment, and were guided by her

I had been in my cell six years when my grandmother was summoned to the bedside of this, her last

remaining daughter. She was very ill, and they said she would die. Grandmother had not entered Dr. Flint's

house for several years. They had treated her cruelly, but she thought nothing of that now. She was grateful

for permission to watch by the deathbed of her child. They had always been devoted to each other; and now

they sat looking into each other's eyes, longing to speak of the secret that had weighed so much on the hearts

of both. My aunt had been stricken with paralysis. She lived but two days, and the last day she was

speechless. Before she lost the power of utterance, she told her mother not to grieve if she could not speak to

her; that she would try to hold up her hand, to let her know that all was well with her. Even the hardhearted

doctor was a little softened when he saw the dying woman try to smile on the aged mother, who was kneeling

by her side. His eyes moistened for a moment, as he said she had always been a faithful servant, and they

should never be able to supply her place. Mrs. Flint took to her bed, quite overcome by the shock. While my

grandmother sat alone with the dead, the doctor came in, leading his youngest son, who had always been a

great pet with aunt Nancy, and was much attached to her. "Martha," said he, "aunt Nancy loved this child,

and when he comes where you are, I hope you will be kind to him, for her sake." She replied, "Your wife was

my fosterchild, Dr. Flint, the fostersister of my poor Nancy, and you little know me if you think I can feel

"I wish the past could be forgotten, and that we might never think of it," said he; "and that Linda would come

to supply her aunt's place. She would be worth more to us than all the money that could be paid for her. I

wish it for your sake also, Martha. Now that Nancy is taken away from you, she would be a great comfort to

He knew he was touching a tender chord. Almost choking with grief, my grandmother replied, "It was not I

that drove Linda away. My grandchildren are gone; and of my nine children only one is left. God help me!"

To me, the death of this kind relative was an inexpressible sorrow. I knew that she had been slowly murdered;

and I felt that my troubles had helped to finish the work. After I heard of her illness, I listened constantly to

hear what news was brought from the great house; and the thought that I could not go to her made me utterly

miserable. At last, as uncle Phillip came into the house, I heard some one inquire, "How is she?" and he

answered, "She is dead." My little cell seemed whirling round, and I knew nothing more till I opened my eyes

and found uncle Phillip bending over me. I had no need to ask any questions. He whispered, "Linda, she died

happy." I could not weep. My fixed gaze troubled him. "Don't look so," he said. "Don't add to my poor

mother's trouble. Remember how much she has to bear, and that we ought to do all we can to comfort her."

Ah, yes, that blessed old grandmother, who for seventythree years had borne the pelting storms of a

Mrs. Flint had rendered her poor fostersister childless, apparently without any compunction; and with cruel

selfishness had ruined her health by years of incessant, unrequited toil, and broken rest. But now she became

very sentimental. I suppose she thought it would be a beautiful illustration of the attachment existing between

slaveholder and slave, if the body of her old wornout servant was buried at her feet. She sent for the

clergyman and asked if he had any objection to burying aunt Nancy in the doctor's family burialplace. No

colored person had ever been allowed interment in the white people's buryingground, and the minister knew

that all the deceased of our family reposed together in the old graveyard of the slaves. He therefore replied, "I

have no objection to complying with your wish; but perhaps aunt Nancy's mother may have some choice as to

It had never occurred to Mrs. Flint that slaves could have any feelings. When my grandmother was consulted,

she at once said she wanted Nancy to lie with all the rest of her family, and where her own old body would be

buried. Mrs. Flint graciously complied with her wish, though she said it was painful to her to have Nancy

buried away from her. She might have added with touching pathos, "I was so long used to sleep with her

My uncle Phillip asked permission to bury his sister at his own expense; and slaveholders are always ready to

grant such favors to slaves and their relatives. The arrangements were very plain, but perfectly respectable.

She was buried on the Sabbath, and Mrs. Flint's minister read the funeral service. There was a large

concourse of colored people, bond and free, and a few white persons who had always been friendly to our

family. Dr. Flint's carriage was in the procession; and when the body was deposited in its humble resting

place, the mistress dropped a tear, and returned to her carriage, probably thinking she had performed her duty

It was talked of by the slaves as a mighty grand funeral. Northern travellers, passing through the place, might

have described this tribute of respect to the humble dead as a beautiful feature in the "patriarchal institution;"

a touching proof of the attachment between slaveholders and their servants; and tenderhearted Mrs. Flint

would have confirmed this impression, with handkerchief at her eyes. We could have told them a different

story. We could have given them a chapter of wrongs and sufferings, that would have touched their hearts, if

they had any hearts to feel for the colored people. We could have told them how the poor old slavemother

had toiled, year after year, to earn eight hundred dollars to buy her son Philip's right to his own earnings; and

how that same Phillip paid the expenses of the funeral, which they regarded as doing so much credit to the

master. We could also have told them of a poor, blighted young creature, shut up in a living grave for years,

to avoid the tortures that would be inflicted on her, if she ventured to come out and look on the face of her

All this, and much more, I thought of, as I sat at my loophole [peephole], waiting for the family to return

from the grave; sometimes weeping, sometimes falling asleep, dreaming strange dreams of the dead and the

It was sad to witness the grief of my bereaved grandmother. She had always been strong to bear, and now, as

ever, religious faith supported her. But her dark life had become still darker, and age and trouble were leaving

deep traces on her withered face. She had four places to knock for me to come to the trapdoor, and each

place had a different meaning. She now came oftener than she had done, and talked to me of her dead

daughter, while tears trickled slowly down her furrowed cheeks. I said all I could to comfort her; but it was a

sad reflection, that instead of being able to help her, I was a constant source of anxiety and trouble. The poor

I HARDLY expect that the reader will credit me, when I affirm that I lived in that little dismal hole, almost

deprived of light and air, and with no space to move my limbs, for nearly seven years. But it is a fact; and to

me a sad one, even now; for my body still suffers from the effects of that long imprisonment, to say nothing

of my soul. Members of my family, now living in New York and Boston, can testify to the truth of what I

Countless were the nights that I sat late at the little loophole scarcely large enough to give me a glimpse of

one twinkling star. There, I heard the patrols and slavehunters conferring together about the capture of

Season after season, year after year, I peeped at my children's faces, and heard their sweet voices, with a heart

yearning all the while to say, "Your mother is here." Sometimes it appeared to me as if ages had rolled away

since I entered upon that gloomy, monotonous existence. At times, I was stupefied and listless; at other times

I became very impatient to know when these dark years would end, and I should again be allowed to feel the

After Ellen left us, this feeling increased. Mr. Sands had agreed that Benny might go to the north whenever

his uncle Phillip could go with him; and I was anxious to be there also, to watch over my children, and

protect them so far as I was able. Moreover, I was likely to be drowned out of my den, if I remained much

longer; for the slight roof was getting badly out of repair, and uncle Phillip was afraid to remove the shingles,

lest some one should get a glimpse of me. When storms occurred in the night, they spread mats and bits of

carpet, which in the morning appeared to have been laid out to dry; but to cover the roof in the daytime might

have attracted attention. Consequently, my clothes and bedding were often drenched; a process by which the

pains and aches in my cramped and stiffened limbs were greatly increased. I revolved various plans of escape

in my mind, which I sometimes imparted to my grandmother, when she came to whisper with me at the

trapdoor. The kindhearted old woman had an intense sympathy for runaways. She had known too much of

the cruelties inflicted on those who were captured. Her memory always flew back at once to the sufferings of

her bright and handsome son, Benjamin, the youngest and dearest of her flock. So, whenever I alluded to the

subject, she would groan out, "O, don't think of it, child. You'll break my heart." I had no good old aunt

Nancy now to encourage me; but my brother William and my children were continually beckoning me to the

And now I must go back a few months in my story. I have stated that the first of January was the time for

selling slaves, or leasing them out to new masters. If time were counted by heartthrobs, the poor slaves

might reckon years of suffering during that festival so joyous to the free. On the New Year's day preceding

my aunt's death, one of my friends, named Fanny, was to be sold at auction, to pay her master's debts. My

thoughts were with her during all the day, and at night I anxiously inquired what had been her fate. I was told

that she had been sold to one master, and her four little girls to another master, far distant; that she had

escaped from her purchaser, and was not to be found. Her mother was the old Aggie I have spoken of. She

lived in a small tenement belonging to my grandmother, and built on the same lot with her own house. Her

dwelling was searched and watched, and that brought the patrols so near me that I was obliged to keep very

close in my den. The hunters were somehow eluded; and not long afterwards Benny accidentally caught sight

of Fanny in her mother's hut. He told his grandmother, who charged him never to speak of it, explaining to

him the frightful consequences; and he never betrayed the trust. Aggie little dreamed that my grandmother

knew where her daughter was concealed, and that the stooping form of her old neighbor was bending under a

similar burden of anxiety and fear; but these dangerous secrets deepened the sympathy between the two old

My friend Fanny and I remained many weeks hidden within call of each other; but she was unconscious of

the fact. I longed to have her share my den, which seemed a more secure retreat than her own; but I had

brought so much trouble on my grandmother, that it seemed wrong to ask her to incur greater risks, My

restlessness increased. I had lived too long in bodily pain and anguish of spirit. Always I was in dread that by

some accident, or some contrivance, slavery would succeed in snatching my children from me. This thought

drove me nearly frantic, and I determined to steer for the North Star at all hazards. At this crisis, Providence

opened an unexpected way for me to escape. My friend Peter came one evening, and asked to speak with me.

"Your day has come, Linda," said he. "I have found a chance for you to go to the Free States. You have a

fortnight to decide." The news seemed too good to be true; but Peter explained his arrangements, and told me

all that was necessary was for me to say I would go. I was going to answer him with a joyful yes, when the

thought of Benny came to my mind. I told him the temptation was exceedingly strong, but I was terribly

afraid of Dr. Flint's alleged power over my child, and that I could not go and leave him behind. Peter

remonstrated earnestly. He said such a good chance might never occur again; that Benny was free, and could

be sent to me; and that for the sake of my children's welfare I ought not to hesitate a moment. I told him I

would consult with uncle Phillip. My uncle rejoiced in the plan, and bade me go by all means. He promised,

if his life was spared, that he would either bring or send my son to me as soon as I reached a place of safety. I

resolved to go, but thought nothing had better be said to my grandmother till very near the time of departure.

But my uncle thought she would feel it more keenly if I left here so suddenly. "I will reason with her," said

he, "and convince her how necessary it is, not only for your sake, but for hers also. You cannot be blind to the

fact that she is sinking under her burdens. " I was not blind to it. I knew that my concealment was an

everpresent source of anxiety, and that the older she grew the more nervously fearful she was of discovery.

My uncle talked with her, and finally succeeded in persuading her that it was absolutely necessary for me to

The anticipation of being a free woman proved almost too much for my weak frame. The excitement

stimulated me, and at the same time bewildered me. I made busy preparations for my journey, and for my son

to follow me. I resolved to have an interview with him before I went, that I might give him cautions and

advice, and tell him how anxiously I should be waiting for him at the north. Grandmother stole up to me as

often as possible to whisper words of counsel. She insisted upon my writing to Dr. Flint, as soon as I arrived

in the Free States, and asking him to sell me to her. She said she would sacrifice her house, and all she had in

the world, for the sake of having me safe with my children in any part of the world. If she could only live to

know that she could die in peace. I promised the dear old faithful friend that I would write to her as soon as I

arrived, and put the letter in a safe way to reach her; but in my own mind I resolved that not another cent of

her hard earnings should be spent to pay rapacious slaveholders for what they called their property. And even

if I had not been unwilling to buy what I had already a right to possess, common humanity would have

prevented me from accepting the generous offer, at the expense of turning my aged relative out of house and

I was to escape in a vessel; but I forbear to mention any further particulars. I was in readiness, but the vessel

was unexpectedly detained several days. Meantime, news came to town of a most horrible murder committed

on a fugitive slave, named James. Charity, the mother of this unfortunate young man, had been an old

acquaintance of ours. I have told the shocking particulars of his death, in my description of some of the

neighboring slaveholders. My grandmother, always nervously sensitive about runaways, was terribly

frightened. She felt sure that a similar fate awaited me, if I did not desist from my enterprise. She sobbed, and

groaned, and entreated me not to go. Her excessive fear was somewhat contagious, and my heart was not

proof against her extreme agony. I was grievously disappointed, but I promised to relinquish my project.

When my friend Peter was apprised of this, he was both disappointed and vexed. He said, that judging from

our past experience, it would be a long time before I had such another chance to throw away. I told him it

need not be thrown away; that I had a friend concealed near by, who would be glad enough to take the place

that had been provided for me. I told him about poor Fanny, and the kindhearted, noble fellow, who never

turned his back upon any body in distress, white or black, expressed his readiness to help her. Aggie was

much surprised when she found that we knew her secret. She was rejoiced to hear of such a chance for Fanny,

and arrangements were made for her to go on board the vessel the next night. They both supposed that I had

long been at the north, therefore my name was not mentioned in the transaction. Fanny was carried on board

at the appointed time, and stowed away in a very small cabin. This accommodation had been purchased at a

price that would pay for a voyage to England. But when one proposes to go to fine old England, they stop to

calculate whether they can afford the cost of the pleasure; while in making a bargain to escape from slavery,

The next morning I peeped through my loophole, and saw that it was dark and cloudly. At night I received

news that the wind was ahead, and the vessel had not sailed. I was exceedingly anxious about Fanny, and

Peter too, who was running a tremendous risk at my instigation. Next day the wind and weather remained the

same. Poor Fanny had been half dead with fright when they carried her on board, and I could readily imagine

how she must be suffering now. Grandmother came often to my den, to say how thankful she was I did not

go. On the third morning she rapped for me to come down to the storeroom. The poor old sufferer was

breaking down under her weight of trouble. She was easily flurried now. I found her in a nervous, excited

state, but I was not aware that she had forgotten to lock the door behind her, as usual. She was exceedingly

worried about the detention of the vessel. She was afraid all would be discovered, and then Fanny, and Peter,

and I, would all be tortured to death, and Phillip would be utterly ruined, and her house would be torn down.

Poor Peter! If he should die such a horrible death as the poor slave James had lately done, and all for his

kindness in trying to help me, how dreadful it would be for us all! Alas, the thought was familiar to me, and

had sent many a sharp pang through my heart. I tried to suppress my own anxiety, and speak soothingly to

her. She brought in some allusion to aunt Nancy, the dear daughter she had recently buried, and then she lost

all control of herself. As she stood there, trembling and sobbing, a voice from the piazza called out, "Whar is

you, aunt Marthy?" Grandmother was startled, and in her agitation opened the door, without thinking of me.

In stepped Jenny, the mischievous housemaid, who had tried to enter my room, when I was concealed in the

house of my white benefactress. "I's bin huntin ebery whar for you, aunt Marthy," said she. "My missis wants

you to send her some crackers." I had slunk down behind a barrel, which entirely screened me, but I imagined

that Jenny was looking directly at the spot, and my heart beat violently. My grandmother immediately

thought what she had done, and went out quickly with Jenny to count the crackers locking the door after her.

She returned to me, in a few minutes, the perfect picture of despair. "Poor child!" she exclaimed, "my

carelessness has ruined you. The boat ain't gone yet. Get ready immediately, and go with Fanny. I ain't got

another word to say against it now; for there's no telling what may happen this day."

Uncle Phillip was sent for, and he agreed with his mother in thinking that Jenny would inform Dr. Flint in

less than twentyfour hours. He advised getting me on board the boat, if possible; if not, I had better keep

very still in my den, where they could not find me without tearing the house down. He said it would not do

for him to move in the matter, because suspicion would be immediately excited; but he promised to

communicate with Peter. I felt reluctant to apply to him again, having implicated him too much already; but

there seemed to be no alternative. Vexed as Peter had been by my indecision, he was true to his generous

nature, and said at once that he would do his best to help me, trusting I should show myself a stronger woman

He immediately proceeded to the wharf, and found that the wind had shifted, and the vessel was slowly

beating down stream. On some pretext of urgent necessity, he offered two boatmen a dollar apiece to catch up

with her. He was of lighter complexion than the boatmen he hired, and when the captain saw them coming so

rapidly, he thought officers were pursuing his vessel in search of the runaway slave he had on board. They

hoisted sails, but the boat gained upon them, and the indefatigable Peter sprang on board.

The captain at once recognized him. Peter asked him to go below, to speak about a bad bill he had given him.

When he told his errand, the captain replied, "Why, the woman's here already; and I've put her where you or

"But it is another woman I want to bring," said Peter. "She is in great distress, too, and you shall be paid any

"That's the name of the woman already here," rejoined the captain. "By George! I believe you mean to betray

"O!" exclaimed Peter, "God knows I wouldn't harm a hair of your head. I am too grateful to you. But there

really is another woman in great danger. Do have the humanity to stop and take her!"

After a while they came to an understanding. Fanny, not dreaming I was any where about in that region, had

assumed my name, though she called herself Johnson. "Linda is a common name," said Peter, "and the

The captain agreed to wait at a certain place till evening, being handsomely paid for his detention.

Of course, the day was an anxious one for us all. But we concluded that if Jenny had seen me, she would be

too wise to let her mistress know of it; and that she probably would not get a chance to see Dr. Flint's family

till evening, for I knew very well what were the rules in that household. I afterwards believed that she did not

see me; for nothing ever came of it, and she was one of those base characters that would have jumped to

I made all my arrangements to go on board as soon as it was dusk. The intervening time I resolved to spend

with my son. I had not spoken to him for seven years, though I had been under the same roof, and seen him

every day, when I was well enough to sit at the loophole. I did not dare to venture beyond the storeroom; so

they brought him there, and locked us up together, in a place concealed from the piazza door. It was an

agitating interview for both of us. After we had talked and wept together for a little while, he said, "Mother,

I'm glad you're going away. I wish I could go with you. I knew you was here; and I have been so afraid they

He replied, "I was standing under the eaves, one day, before Ellen went away, and I heard somebody cough

up over the wood shed. I don't know what made me think it was you, but I did think so. I missed Ellen, the

night before she went away; and grandmother brought her back into the room in the night; and I thought

maybe she'd been to see you, before she went, for I heard grandmother whisper to her, 'Now go to sleep; and

I asked him if he ever mentioned his suspicions to his sister. He said he never did; but after he heard the

cough, if he saw her playing with other children on that side of the house, he always tried to coax her round

to the other side, for fear they would hear me cough, too. He said he had kept a close lookout for Dr. Flint,

and if he saw him speak to a constable, or a patrol, he always told grandmother. I now recollected that I had

seen him manifest uneasiness, when people were on that side of the house, and I had at the time been puzzled

to conjecture a motive for his actions. Such prudence may seem extraordinary in a boy of twelve years, but

slaves, being surrounded by mysteries, deceptions, and dangers, early learn to be suspicious and watchful,

and prematurely cautious and cunning. He had never asked a question of grandmother, or uncle Phillip, and I

had often heard him chime in with other children, when they spoke of my being at the north.

I told him I was now really going to the Free States, and if he was a good, honest boy, and a loving child to

his dear old grandmother, the Lord would bless him, and bring him to me, and we and Ellen would live

together. He began to tell me that grandmother had not eaten any thing all day. While he was speaking, the

door was unlocked, and she came in with a small bag of money, which she wanted me to take. I begged her to

keep a part of it, at least, to pay for Benny's being sent to the north; but she insisted, while her tears were

falling fast, that I should take the whole. "You may be sick among strangers," she said, "and they would send

For the last time I went up to my nook. Its desolate appearance no longer chilled me, for the light of hope had

risen in my soul. Yet, even with the blessed prospect of freedom before me, I felt very sad at leaving forever

that old homestead, where I had been sheltered so long by the dear old grandmother; where I had dreamed my

first young dream of love; and where, after that had faded away, my children came to twine themselves so

closely round my desolate heart. As the hour approached for me to leave, I again descended to the storeroom.

My grandmother and Benny were there. She took me by the hand, and said, "Linda, let us pray." We knelt

down together, with my child pressed to my heart, and my other arm round the faithful, loving old friend I

was about to leave forever. On no other occasion has it ever been my lot to listen to so fervent a supplication

for mercy and protection. It thrilled through my heart, and inspired me with trust in God.

Peter was waiting for me in the street. I was soon by his side, faint in body, but strong of purpose. I did not

I NEVER could tell how we reached the wharf. My brain was all of a whirl, and my limbs tottered under me.

At an appointed place we met my uncle Phillip, who had started before us on a different route, that he might

reach the wharf first, and give us timely warning if there was any danger. A rowboat was in readiness. As I

was about to step in, I felt something pull me gently, and turning round I saw Benny, looking pale and

anxious. He whispered in my ear, "I've been peeping into the doctor's window, and he's at home. Good by,

mother. Don't cry; I'll come." He hastened away. I clasped the hand of my good uncle, to whom I owed so

much, and of Peter, the brave, generous friend who had volunteered to run such terrible risks to secure my

safety. To this day I remember how his bright face beamed with joy, when he told me he had discovered a

safe method for me to escape. Yet that intelligent, enterprising, noblehearted man was a chattel! liable, by

the laws of a country that calls itself civilized, to be sold with horses and pigs! We parted in silence. Our

Swiftly the boat glided over the water. After a while, one of the sailors said, "Don't be downhearted,

madam. We will take you safely to your husband, in." At first I could not imagine what he meant; but

I had presence of mind to think that it probably referred to something the captain had told him; so I thanked

When I entered the vessel the captain came forward to meet me. He was an elderly man, with a pleasant

countenance. He showed me to a little box of a cabin, where sat my friend Fanny. She started as if she had

seen a spectre. She gazed on me in utter astonishment, and exclaimed, "Linda, can this be you? or is it your

ghost?" When we were locked in each other's arms, my overwrought feelings could no longer be restrained.

My sobs reached the ears of the captain, who came and very kindly reminded us, that for his safety, as well as

our own, it would be prudent for us not to attract any attention. He said that when there was a sail in sight he

wished us to keep below; but at other times, he had no objection to our being on deck. He assured us that he

would keep a good lookout, and if we acted prudently, he thought we should be in no danger. He had

represented us as women going to meet our husbands in. We thanked him, and promised to observe

Fanny and I now talked by ourselves, low and quietly, in our little cabin. She told me of the sufferings she

had gone through in making her escape, and of her terrors while she was concealed in her mother's house.

Above all, she dwelt on the agony of separation from all her children on that dreadful auction day. She could

scarcely credit me, when I told her of the place where I had passed nearly seven years. "We have the same

sorrows," said I. "No," replied she, "you are going to see your children soon, and there is no hope that I shall

The vessel was soon under way, but we made slow progress. The wind was against us, I should not have

cared for this, if we had been out of sight of the town; but until there were miles of water between us and our

enemies, we were filled with constant apprehensions that the constables would come on board. Neither could

I feel quite at ease with the captain and his men. I was an entire stranger to that class of people, and I had

heard that sailors were rough, and sometimes cruel. We were so completely in their power, that if they were

bad men, our situation would be dreadful. Now that the captain was paid for our passage, might he not be

tempted to make more money by giving us up to those who claimed us as property? I was naturally of a

confiding disposition, but slavery had made me suspicious of every body. Fanny did not share my distrust of

the captain or his men. She said she was afraid at first, but she had been on board three days while the vessel

lay in the dock, and nobody had betrayed her, or treated her otherwise than kindly.

The captain soon came to advise us to go on deck for fresh air. His friendly and respectful manner, combined

with Fanny's testimony, reassured me, and we went with him. He placed us in a comfortable seat, and

occasionally entered into conversation. He told us he was a Southerner by birth, and had spent the greater part

of his life in the Slave States, and that he had recently lost a brother who traded in slaves. "But," said he, "it is

a pitiable and degrading business, and I always felt ashamed to acknowledge my brother in connection with

it." As we passed Snaky Swamp, he pointed to it, and said, "There is a slave territory that defies all the laws.

" I thought of the terrible days I had spent there, and though it was not called Dismal Swamp, it made me feel

I shall never forget that night. The balmy air of spring was so refreshing! And how shall I describe my

sensations when we were fairly sailing on Chesapeake Bay? O, the beautiful sunshine! the exhilarating

breeze! and I could enjoy them without fear or restraint. I had never realized what grand things air and

Ten days after we left land we were approaching Philadelphia. The captain said we should arrive there in the

night, but he thought we had better wait till morning, and go on shore in broad daylight, as the best way to

He saw that I was suspicious, and he said he was sorry, now that he had brought us to the end of our voyage,

to find I had so little confidence in him. Ah, if he had ever been a slave he would have known how difficult it

was to trust a white man. He assured us that we might sleep through the night without fear; that he would take

care we were not left unprotected. Be it said to the honor of this captain, Southerner as he was, that if Fanny

and I had been white ladies, and our passage lawfully engaged, he could not have treated us more

respectfully. My intelligent friend, Peter, had rightly estimated the character of the man to whose honor he

The next morning I was on deck as soon as the day dawned. I called Fanny to see the sun rise, for the first

time in our lives, on free soil; for such I then believed it to be. We watched the reddening sky, and saw the

great orb come up slowly out of the water, as it seemed. Soon the waves began to sparkle, and every thing

caught the beautiful glow. Before us lay the city of strangers. We looked at each other, and the eyes of both

were moistened with tears. We had escaped from slavery, and we supposed ourselves to be safe from the

hunters. But we were alone in the world, and we had left dear ties behind us; ties cruelly sundered by the

I HAD heard that the poor slave had many friends at the north. I trusted we should find some of them.

Meantime, we would take it for granted that all were friends, till they proved to the contrary. I sought out the

kind captain, thanked him for his attentions, and told him I should never cease to be grateful for the service

he had rendered us. I gave him a message to the friends I had left at home, and he promised to deliver it. We

were placed in a rowboat, and in about fifteen minutes were landed on a wood wharf in Philadelphia. As I

stood looking round, the friendly captain touched me on the shoulder, and said, "There is a

respectablelooking colored man behind you. I will speak to him about the New York trains, and tell him you

wish to go directly on." I thanked him, and asked him to direct me to some shops where I could buy gloves

and veils. He did so, and said he would talk with the colored man till I returned. I made what haste I could.

Constant exercise on board the vessel, and frequent rubbing with salt water, had nearly restored the use of my

limbs. The noise of the great city confused me, but I found the shops, and bought some double veils and

gloves for Fanny and myself. The shopman told me they were so many levies. I had never heard the word

before, but I did not tell him so. I thought if he knew I was a stranger he might ask me where I came from. I

gave him a gold piece, and when he returned the change, I counted it, and found out how much a levy was. I

made my way back to the wharf, where the captain introduced me to the colored man, as the Rev. Jeremiah

Durham, minister of Bethel church. He took me by the hand, as if I had been an old friend. He told us we

were too late for the morning cars to New York, and must wait until the evening, or the next morning. He

invited me to go home with him, assuring me that his wife would give me a cordial welcome; and for my

friend he would provide a home with one of his neighbors. I thanked him for so much kindness to strangers,

and told him if I must be detained, I should like to hunt up some people who formerly went from our part of

the country. Mr. Durham insisted that I should dine with him, and then he would assist me in finding my

friends. The sailors came to bid us good by. I shook their hardy hands, with tears in my eyes. They had all

been kind to us, and they had rendered us a greater service than they could possibly conceive of.

I had never seen so large a city, or been in contact with so many people in the streets. It seemed as if those

who passed looked at us with an expression of curiosity. My face was so blistered and peeled, by sitting on

deck, in wind and sunshine, that I thought they could not easily decide to what nation I belonged.

Mrs. Durham met me with a kindly welcome, without asking any questions. I was tired, and her friendly

manner was a sweet refreshment. God bless her! I was sure that she had comforted other weary hearts, before

I received her sympathy. She was surrounded by her husband and children, in a home made sacred by

After dinner Mr. Durham went with me in quest of the friends I had spoken of. They went from my native

town, and I anticipated much pleasure in looking on familiar faces. They were not at home, and we retraced

our steps through streets delightfully clean. On the way, Mr. Durham observed that I had spoken to him of a

daughter I expected to meet; that he was surprised, for I looked so young he had taken me for a single

woman. He was approaching a subject on which I was extremely sensitive. He would ask about my husband

next, I thought, and if I answered him truly, what would he think of me? I told him I had two children, one in

New York the other at the south. He asked some further questions, and I frankly told him some of the most

important events of my life. It was painful for me to do it; but I would not deceive him. If he was desirous of

being my friend, I thought he ought to know how far I was worthy of it. "Excuse me, if I have tried your

feelings," said he. "I did not question you from idle curiosity. I wanted to understand your situation, in order

to know whether I could be of any service to you, or your little girl. Your straightforward answers do you

credit; but don't answer every body so openly. It might give some heartless people a pretext for treating you

That word contempt burned me like coals of fire. I replied, "God alone knows how I have suffered; and He, I

trust, will forgive me. If I am permitted to have my children, I intend to be a good mother, and to live in such

"I respect your sentiments," said he. "Place your trust in God, and be governed by good principles, and you

When we reached home, I went to my room, glad to shut out the world for a while. The words he had spoken

made an indelible impression upon me. They brought up great shadows from the mournful past. In the midst

of my meditations I was startled by a knock at the door. Mrs. Durham entered, her face all beaming with

kindness, to say that there was an antislavery friend down stairs, who would like to see me. I overcame my

dread of encountering strangers, and went with her. Many questions were asked concerning my experiences,

and my escape from slavery; but I observed how careful they all were not to say any thing that might wound

my feelings. How gratifying this was, can be fully understood only by those who have been accustomed to be

treated as if they were not included within the pale of human beings. The antislavery friend had come to

inquire into my plans, and to offer assistance, if needed. Fanny was comfortably established, for the present,

with a friend of Mr. Durham. The AntiSlavery Society agreed to pay her expenses to New York. The same

was offered to me, but I declined to accept it; telling them that my grandmother had given me sufficient to

pay my expenses to the end of my journey. We were urged to remain in Philadelphia a few days, until some

suitable escort could be found for us. I gladly accepted the proposition, for I had a dread of meeting

slaveholders, and some dread also of railroads. I had never entered a railroad car in my life, and it seemed to

That night I sought my pillow with feelings I had never carried to it before. I verily believed myself to be a

free woman. I was wakeful for a long time, and I had no sooner fallen asleep, than I was roused by firebells.

I jumped up, and hurried on my clothes. Where I came from, every body hastened to dress themselves on

such occasions. The white people thought a great fire might be used as a good opportunity for insurrection,

and that it was best to be in readiness; and the colored people were ordered out to labor in extinguishing the

flames. There was but one engine in our town, and colored women and children were often required to drag it

to the river's edge and fill it. Mrs. Durham's daughter slept in the same room with me, and seeing that she

slept through all the din, I thought it was my duty to wake her. "What's the matter?" said she, rubbing her

"What of that?" said she, drowsily. "We are used to it. We never get up, without the fire is very near. What

I was quite surprised that it was not necessary for us to go and help fill the engine. I was an ignorant child,

At daylight, I heard women crying fresh fish, berries, radishes, and various other things. All this was new to

me. I dressed myself at an early hour, and sat at the window to watch that unknown tide of life. Philadelphia

seemed to me a wonderfully great place. At the breakfast table, my idea of going out to drag the engine was

I went to see Fanny, and found her so well contented among her new friends that she was in no haste to leave.

I was also very happy with my kind hostess. She had had advantages for education, and was vastly my

superior. Every day, almost every hour, I was adding to my little stock of knowledge. She took me out to see

the city as much as she deemed prudent. One day she took me to an artist's room, and showed me the portraits

of some of her children. I had never seen any paintings of colored people before, and they seemed to be

At the end of five days, one of Mrs. Durham's friends offered to accompany us to New York the following

morning. As I held the hand of my good hostess in a parting clasp, I longed to know whether her husband had

repeated to her what I had told him. I supposed he had, but she never made any allusion to it. I presume it was

When Mr. Durham handed us our tickets, he said, "I am afraid you will have a disagreeable ride; but I could

Supposing I had not given him money enough, I offered more. "O, no," said he, "they could not be had for

This was the first chill to my enthusiasm about the Free States. Colored people were allowed to ride in a

filthy box, behind white people, at the south, but there they were not required to pay for the privilege. It made

We were stowed away in a large, rough car, with windows on each side, too high for us to look out without

standing up. It was crowded with people, apparently of all nations. There were plenty of beds and cradles,

containing screaming and kicking babies. Every other man had a cigar or pipe in his mouth, and jugs of

whiskey were handed round freely. The fumes of the whiskey and the dense tobacco smoke were sickening to

my senses, and my mind was equally nauseated by the coarse jokes and ribald songs around me. It was a very

disagreeable ride. Since that time there has been some improvement in these matters.

WHEN we arrived in New York, I was half crazed by the crowd of coachmen calling out, "Carriage, ma'am?"

We bargained with one to take us to Sullivan Street for twelve shillings. A burly Irishman stepped up and

said, "I'll tak' ye for sax shillings." The reduction of half the price was an object to us, and we asked if he

could take us right away. "Troth an I will, ladies," he replied. I noticed that the hackmen smiled at each other,

and I inquired whether his conveyance was decent. "Yes, it's dacent it is, marm. Devil a bit would I be after

takin' ladies in a cab that was not dacent. " We gave him our checks. He went for the baggage, and soon

reappeared, saying, "This way, if you plase, ladies." We followed, and found our trunks on a truck, and we

were invited to take our seats on them. We told him that was not what we bargained for, and he must take the

trunks off. He swore they should not be touched till we had paid him six shillings. In our situation it was not

prudent to attract attention, and I was about to pay him what he required, when a man near by shook his head

for me not to do it. After a great ado we got rid of the Irishman, and had our trunks fastened on a hack. We

had been recommended to a boardinghouse in Sullivan Street, and thither we drove. There Fanny and I

separated. The AntiSlavery Society provided a home for her, and I afterwards heard of her in prosperous

circumstances. I sent for an old friend from my part of the country, who had for some time been doing

business in New York. He came immediately. I told him I wanted to go to my daughter, and asked him to aid

I cautioned him not to let it be known to the family that I had just arrived from the south, because they

supposed I had been at the north seven years. He told me there was a colored woman in Brooklyn who came

from the same town I did, and I had better go to her house, and have my daughter meet me there. I accepted

the proposition thankfully, and he agreed to escort me to Brooklyn. We crossed Fulton ferry, went up Myrtle

Avenue, and stopped at the house he designated. I was just about to enter, when two girls passed. My friend

called my attention to them. I turned, and recognized in the eldest, Sarah, the daughter of a woman who used

to live with my grandmother, but who had left the south years ago. Surprised and rejoiced at this unexpected

"You take no notice of the other girl," said my friend. I turned, and there stood my Ellen! I pressed her to my

heart, then held her away from me to take a look at her. She had changed a good deal in the two years since I

parted from her. Signs of neglect could be discerned by eyes less observing than a mother's. My friend invited

us all to go into the house; but Ellen said she had been sent of an errand, which she would do as quickly as

possible, and go home and ask Mrs. Hobbs to let her come and see me. It was agreed that I should send for

her the next day. Her companion, Sarah, hastened to tell her mother of my arrival. When I entered the house,

I found the mistress of it absent, and I waited for her return. Before I saw her, I heard her saying, "Where is

Linda Brent? I used to know her father and mother." Soon Sarah came with her mother. So there was quite a

company of us, all from my grandmother's neighborhood. These friends gathered round me and questioned

me eagerly. They laughed, they cried, and they shouted. They thanked God that I had got away from my

persecutors and was safe on Long Island. It was a day of great excitement. How different from the silent days

The next morning was Sunday. My first waking thoughts were occupied with the note I was to send to Mrs.

Hobbs, the lady with whom Ellen lived. That I had recently come into that vicinity was evident; otherwise I

should have sooner inquired for my daughter. It would not do to let them know I had just arrived from the

south, for that would involve the suspicion of my having been harbored there, and might bring trouble, if not

I like a straightforward course, and am always reluctant to resort to subterfuges. So far as my ways have been

crooked, I charge them all upon slavery. It was that system of violence and wrong which now left me no

alternative but to enact a falsehood. I began my note by stating that I had recently arrived from Canada, and

was very desirous to have my daughter come to see me. She came and brought a message from Mrs. Hobbs,

inviting me to her house, and assuring me that I need not have any fears. The conversation I had with my

child did not leave my mind at ease. When I asked if she was well treated, she answered yes; but there was no

heartiness in the tone, and it seemed to me that she said it from an unwillingness to have me troubled on her

account. Before she left me, she asked very earnestly, "Mother, will you take me to live with you?" It made

me sad to think that I could not give her a home till I went to work and earned the means; and that might take

me a long time. When she was placed with Mrs. Hobbs, the agreement was that she should be sent to school.

She had been there two years, and was now nine years old, and she scarcely knew her letters. There was no

excuse for this, for there were good public schools in Brooklyn, to which she could have been sent without

She staid with me till dark, and I went home with her. I was received in a friendly manner by the family, and

all agreed in saying that Ellen was a useful, good girl. Mrs. Hobbs looked me coolly in the face, and said, "I

suppose you know that my cousin, Mr. Sands, has given her to my eldest daughter. She will make a nice

waitingmaid for her when she grows up. " I did not answer a word. How could she, who knew by

experience the strength of a mother's love, and who was perfectly aware of the relation Mr. Sands bore to my

children,how could she look me in the face, while she thrust such a dagger into my heart?

I was no longer surprised that they had kept her in such a state of ignorance. Mr. Hobbs had formerly been

wealthy, but he had failed, and afterwards obtained a subordinate situation in the Custom House. Perhaps

they expected to return to the south some day; and Ellen's knowledge was quite sufficient for a slave's

condition. I was impatient to go to work and earn money, that I might change the uncertain position of my

children. Mr. Sands had not kept his promise to emancipate them. I had also been deceived about Ellen. What

I returned to my friend's house in an uneasy state of mind. In order to protect my children, it was necessary

that I should own myself. I called myself free, and sometimes felt so; but I knew I was insecure. I sat down

that night and wrote a civil letter to Dr. Flint, asking him to state the lowest terms on which he would sell me;

and as I belonged by law to his daughter, I wrote to her also, making a similar request.

Since my arrival at the north I had not been unmindful of my dear brother William. I had made diligent

inquiries for him, and having heard of him in Boston, I went thither. When I arrived there, I found he had

gone to New Bedford. I wrote to that place, and was informed he had gone on a whaling voyage, and would

not return for some months. I went back to New York to get employment near Ellen. I received an answer

from Dr. Flint, which gave me no encouragement. He advised me to return and submit myself to my rightful

owners, and then any request I might make would be granted. I lent this letter to a friend, who lost it;

My greatest anxiety now was to obtain employment. My health was greatly improved, though my limbs

continued to trouble me with swelling whenever I walked much. The greatest difficulty in my way was, that

those who employed strangers required a recommendation; and in my peculiar position, I could, of course,

One day an acquaintance told me of a lady who wanted a nurse for her babe, and I immediately applied for

the situation. The lady told me she preferred to have one who had been a mother, and accustomed to the care

of infants. I told her I had nursed two babes of my own. She asked me many questions, but, to my great relief,

did not require a recommendation from my former employers. She told me she was an English woman, and

that was a pleasant circumstance to me, because I had heard they had less prejudice against color than

Americans entertained. It was agreed that we should try each other for a week. The trial proved satisfactory to

The heavenly Father had been most merciful to me in leading me to this place. Mrs. Bruce was a kind and

gentle lady, and proved a true and sympathizing friend. Before the stipulated month expired, the necessity of

passing up and down stairs frequently, caused my limbs to swell so painfully, that I became unable to

perform my duties. Many ladies would have thoughtlessly discharged me; but Mrs. Bruce made arrangements

to save me steps, and employed a physician to attend upon me. I had not yet told her that I was a fugitive

slave. She noticed that I was often sad, and kindly inquired the cause. I spoke of being separated from my

children, and from relatives who were dear to me; but I did not mention the constant feeling of insecurity

which oppressed my spirits. I longed for some one to confide it; but I had been so deceived by white people,

that I had lost all confidence in them. If they spoke kind words to me, I thought it was for some selfish

purpose. I had entered this family with the distrustful feelings I had brought with me out of slavery; but ere

six months had passed, I found that the gentle deportment of Mrs. Bruce and the smiles of her lovely babe

were thawing my chilled heart. My narrow mind also began to expand under the influences of her intelligent

conversation, and the opportunities for reading, which were gladly allowed me whenever I had leisure from

The old feeling of insecurity, especially with regard to my children, often threw its dark shadow across my

sunshine. Mrs. Bruce offered me a home for Ellen; but pleasant as it would have been, I did not dare to accept

it, for fear of offending the Hobbs family. Their knowledge of my precarious situation placed me in their

power; and I felt that it was important for me to keep on the right side of them, till, by dint of labor and

economy, I could make a home for my children. I was far from feeling satisfied with Ellen's situation. She

was not well cared for. She sometimes came to New York to visit me; but she generally brought a request

from Mrs. Hobbs that I would buy her a pair of shoes, or some article of clothing. This was accompanied by a

promise of payment when Mr. Hobbs's salary at the Custom House became due; but some how or other the

payday never came. Thus many dollars of my earnings were expended to keep my child comfortably

clothed. That, however, was a slight trouble, compared with the fear that their pecuniary embarrassments

might induce them to sell my precious young daughter. I knew they were in constant communication with

Southerners, and had frequent opportunities to do it. I have stated that when Dr. Flint put Ellen in jail, at two

years old, she had an inflammation of the eyes, occasioned by measles. This disease still troubled her; and

kind Mrs. Bruce proposed that she should come to New York for a while, to be under the care of Dr. Elliott, a

well known oculist. It did not occur to me that there was any thing improper in a mother's making such a

request; but Mrs. Hobbs was very angry, and refused to let her go. Situated as I was, it was not politic to

insist upon it. I made no complaint, but I longed to be entirely free to act a mother's part towards my children.

The next time I went over to Brooklyn, Mrs. Hobbs, as if to apologize for her anger, told me she had

employed her own physician to attend to Ellen's eyes, and that she had refused my request because she did

not consider it safe to trust her in New York. I accepted the explanation in silence; but she had told me that

my child belonged to her daughter, and I suspected that her real motive was a fear of my conveying her

property away from her. Perhaps I did her injustice; but my knowledge of Southerners made it difficult for

Sweet and bitter were mixed in the cup of my life, and I was thankful that it had ceased to be entirely bitter. I

loved Mrs. Bruce's babe. When it laughed and crowed in my face, and twined its little tender arms

confidingly about my neck, it made me think of the time when Benny and Ellen were babies, and my

wounded heart was soothed. One bright morning, as I stood at the window, tossing baby in my arms, my

attention was attracted by a young man in sailor's dress, who was closely observing every house as he passed.

I looked at him earnestly. Could it be my brother William? It must be heand yet, how changed! I placed

the baby safely, flew down stairs, opened the front door, beckoned to the sailor, and in less than a minute I

was clasped in my brother's arms. How much we had to tell each other! How we laughed, and how we cried,

over each other's adventures! I took him to Brooklyn, and again saw him with Ellen, the dear child whom he

had loved and tended so carefully, while I was shut up in my miserable den. He staid in New York a week.

His old feelings of affection for me and Ellen were as lively as ever. There are no bonds so strong as those

My young mistress, Miss Emily Flint, did not return any answer to my letter requesting her to consent to my

being sold. But after a while, I received a reply, which purported to be written by her younger brother. In

order rightly to enjoy the contents of this letter, the reader must bear in mind that the Flint family supposed I

had been at the north many years. They had no idea that I knew of the doctor's three excursions to New York

in search of me; that I had heard his voice, when he came to borrow five hundred dollars for that purpose; and

that I had seen him pass on his way to the steamboat. Neither were they aware that all the particulars of aunt

Nancy's death and burial were conveyed to me at the time they occurred. I have kept the letter, of which I

Your letter to sister was received a few days ago. I gather from it that you are desirous of returning to your

native place, among your friends and relatives. We were all gratified with the contents of your letter; and let

me assure you that if any members of the family have had any feeling of resentment towards you, they feel it

no longer. We all sympathize with you in your unfortunate condition, and are ready to do all in our power to

make you contented and happy. It is difficult for you to return home as a free person. If you were purchased

by your grandmother, it is doubtful whether you would be permitted to remain, although it would be lawful

for you to do so. If a servant should be allowed to purchase herself, after absenting herself so long from her

owners, and return free, it would have an injurious effect. From your letter, I think your situation must be

hard and uncomfortable. Come home. You have it in your power to be reinstated in our affections. We would

receive you with open arms and tears of joy. You need not apprehend any unkind treatment, as we have not

put ourselves to any trouble or expense to get you. Had we done so, perhaps we should feel otherwise. You

know my sister was always attached to you, and that you were never treated as a slave. You were never put to

hard work, nor exposed to field labor. On the contrary, you were taken into the house, and treated as one of

us, and almost as free; and we, at least, felt that you were above disgracing yourself by running away.

Believing you may be induced to come home voluntarily has induced me to write for my sister. The family

will be rejoiced to see you; and your poor old grandmother expressed a great desire to have you come, when

she heard your letter read. In her old age she needs the consolation of having her children round her.

Doubtless you have heard of the death of your aunt. She was a faithful servant, and a faithful member of the

Episcopal church. In her Christian life she taught us how to liveand, O, too high the price of knowledge,

she taught us how to die! Could you have seen us round her death bed, with her mother, all mingling our tears

in one common stream, you would have thought the same heartfelt tie existed between a master and his

servant, as between a mother and her child. But this subject is too painful to dwell upon. I must bring my

letter to a close. If you are contented to stay away from your old grandmother, your child, and the friends who

love you, stay where you are. We shall never trouble ourselves to apprehend you. But should you prefer to

come home, we will do all that we can to make you happy. If you do not wish to remain in the family, I know

that father, by our persuasion, will be induced to let you be purchased by any person you may choose in our

community. You will please answer this as soon as possible, and let us know your decision. Sister sends

much love to you. In the mean time believe me your sincere friend and well wisher.

This letter was signed by Emily's brother, who was as yet a mere lad. I knew, by the style, that it was not

written by a person of his age, and though the writing was disguised, I had been made too unhappy by it, in

former years, not to recognize at once the hand of Dr. Flint. O, the hypocrisy of slaveholders! Did the old fox

suppose I was goose enough to go into such a trap? Verily, he relied too much on "the stupidity of the African

race." I did not return the family of Flints any thanks for their cordial invitationa remissness for which I

Not long afterwards I received a letter from one of my friends at the south, informing me that Dr. Flint was

about to visit the north. The letter had been delayed, and I supposed he might be already on the way. Mrs.

Bruce did not know I was a fugitive. I told her that important business called me to Boston, where my brother

then was, and asked permission to bring a friend to supply my place as nurse, for a fortnight. I started on my

journey immediately; and as soon as I arrived, I wrote to my grandmother that if Benny came, he must be

sent to Boston. I knew she was only waiting for a good chance to send him north, and, fortunately, she had

the legal power to do so, without asking leave of any body. She was a free woman; and when my children

were purchased, Mr. Sands preferred to have the bill of sale drawn up in her name. It was conjectured that he

advanced the money, but it was not known. At the south, a gentleman may have a shoal of colored children

without any disgrace; but if he is known to purchase them, with the view of setting them free, the example is

thought to be dangerous to their "peculiar institution," and he becomes unpopular.

There was a good opportunity to send Benny in a vessel coming directly to New York. He was put on board

with a letter to a friend, who was requested to see him off to Boston. Early one morning, there was a loud rap

at my door, and in rushed Benjamin, all out of breath. "O mother!" he exclaimed, "here I am! I run all the

O reader, can you imagine my joy? No, you cannot, unless you have been a slave mother. Benjamin rattled

away as fast as his tongue could go. "Mother, why don't you bring Ellen here? I went over to Brooklyn to see

her, and she felt very bad when I bid her good by. She said, 'O Ben, I wish I was going too.' I thought she'd

know ever so much; but she don't know so much as I do; for I can read, and she can't. And, mother, I lost all

my clothes coming. What can I do to get some more? I 'spose free boys can get along here at the north as well

I did not like to tell the sanguine, happy little fellow how much he was mistaken. I took him to a tailor, and

procured a change of clothes. The rest of the day was spent in mutual asking and answering of questions, with

the wish constantly repeated that the good old grandmother was with us, and frequent injunctions from Benny

to write to her immediately, and be sure to tell her every thing about his voyage, and his journey to Boston.

Dr. Flint made his visit to New York, and made every exertion to call upon me, and invite me to return with

him; but not being able to ascertain where I was, his hospitable intentions were frustrated, and the

affectionate family, who were waiting for me with "open arms," were doomed to disappointment.

As soon as I knew he was safely at home, I placed Benjamin in the care of my brother William, and returned

to Mrs. Bruce. There I remained through the winter and spring, endeavoring to perform my duties faithfully,

and finding a good degree of happiness in the attractions of baby Mary, the considerate kindness of her

But when summer came, the old feeling of insecurity haunted me. It was necessary for me to take little Mary

out daily, for exercise and fresh air, and the city was swarming with Southerners, some of whom might

recognize me. Hot weather brings out snakes and slaveholders, and I like one class of the venomous creatures

IT was a relief to my mind to see preparations for leaving the city. We went to Albany in the steamboat

Knickerbocker. When the gong sounded for tea, Mrs. Bruce said, "Linda, it is late, and you and baby had

better come to the table with me. " I replied, "I know it is time baby had her supper, but I had rather not go

with you, if you please. I am afraid of being insulted." "O no, not if you are with me," she said. I saw several

white nurses go with their ladies, and I ventured to do the same. We were at the extreme end of the table. I

was no sooner seated, than a gruff voice said, "Get up! You know you are not allowed to sit here." I looked

up, and, to my astonishment and indignation, saw that the speaker was a colored man. If his office required

him to enforce the bylaws of the boat, he might, at least, have done it politely. I replied, "I shall not get up,

unless the captain comes and takes me up." No cup of tea was offered me, but Mrs. Bruce handed me hers

and called for another. I looked to see whether the other nurses were treated in a similar manner. They were

Next morning, when we stopped at Troy for breakfast, every body was making a rush for the table. Mrs.

Bruce said, "Take my arm, Linda, and we'll go in together." The landlord heard her, and said, "Madam, will

you allow your nurse and baby to take breakfast with my family?" I knew this was to be attributed to my

At Saratoga we found the United States Hotel crowded, and Mr. Bruce took one of the cottages belonging to

the hotel. I had thought, with gladness, of going to the quiet of the country, where I should meet few people,

but here I found myself in the midst of a swarm of Southerners. I looked round me with fear and trembling,

dreading to see some one who would recognize me. I was rejoiced to find that we were to stay but a short

We soon returned to New York, to make arrangements for spending the remainder of the summer at

Rockaway. While the laundress was putting the clothes in order, I took an opportunity to go over to Brooklyn

to see Ellen. I met her going to a grocery store, and the first words she said, were, "O, mother, don't go to

Mrs. Hobbs's. Her brother, Mr. Thorne, has come from the south, and may be he'll tell where you are." I

accepted the warning. I told her I was going away with Mrs. Bruce the next day, and would try to see her

Being in servitude to the AngloSaxon race, I was not put into a "Jim Crow car," on our way to Rockaway,

neither was I invited to ride through the streets on the top of trunks in a truck; but every where I found the

same manifestations of that cruel prejudice, which so discourages the feelings, and represses the energies of

the colored people. We reached Rockaway before dark, and put up at the Paviliona large hotel, beautifully

situated by the seasidea great resort of the fashionable world. Thirty or forty nurses were there, of a great

variety of nations. Some of the ladies had colored waitingmaids and coachmen, but I was the only nurse

tinged with the blood of Africa. When the tea bell rang, I took little Mary and followed the other nurses.

Supper was served in a long hall. A young man, who had the ordering of things, took the circuit of the table

two or three times, and finally pointed me to a seat at the lower end of it. As there was but one chair, I sat

down and took the child in my lap. Whereupon the young man came to me and said, in the blandest manner

possible, "Will you please to seat the little girl in the chair, and stand behind it and feed her? After they have

This was the climax! I found it hard to preserve my selfcontrol, when I looked round, and saw women who

were nurses, as I was, and only one shade lighter in complexion, eyeing me with a defiant look, as if my

presence were a contamination. However, I said nothing. I quietly took the child in my arms, went to our

room, and refused to go to the table again. Mr. Bruce ordered meals to be sent to the room for little Mary and

I. This answered for a few days; but the waiters of the establishment were white, and they soon began to

complain, saying they were not hired to wait on negroes. The landlord requested Mr. Bruce to send me down

to my meals, because his servants rebelled against bringing them up, and the colored servants of other

My answer was that the colored servants ought to be dissatisfied with themselves, for not having too much

selfrespect to submit to such treatment; that there was no difference in the price of board for colored and

white servants, and there was no justification for difference of treatment. I staid a month after this, and

finding I was resolved to stand up for my rights, they concluded to treat me well. Let every colored man and

woman do this, and eventually we shall cease to be trampled under foot by our oppressors.

AFTER we returned to New York, I took the earliest opportunity to go and see Ellen. I asked to have her

called down stairs; for I supposed Mrs. Hobbs's southern brother might still be there, and I was desirous to

avoid seeing him, if possible. But Mrs. Hobbs came to the kitchen, and insisted on my going up stairs. "My

brother wants to see you," said she, "and he is sorry you seem to shun him. He knows you are living in New

York. He told me to say to you that he owes thanks to good old aunt Martha for too many little acts of

This Mr. Thorne had become poor and reckless long before he left the south, and such persons had much

rather go to one of the faithful old slaves to borrow a dollar, or get a good dinner, than to go to one whom

they consider an equal. It was such acts of kindness as these for which he professed to feel grateful to my

grandmother. I wished he had kept at a distance, but as he was here, and knew where I was, I concluded there

was nothing to be gained by trying to avoid him; on the contrary, it might be the means of exciting his ill will.

I followed his sister up stairs. He met me in a very friendly manner, congratulated me on my escape from

I continued to visit Ellen as often as I could. She, good thoughtful child, never forgot my hazardous situation,

but always kept a vigilant lookout for my safety. She never made any complaint about her own

inconveniences and troubles; but a mother's observing eye easily perceived that she was not happy. On the

occasion of one of my visits I found her unusually serious. When I asked her what was the matter, she said

nothing was the matter. But I insisted upon knowing what made her look so very grave. Finally, I ascertained

that she felt troubled about the dissipation that was continually going on in the house. She was sent to the

store very often for rum and brandy, and she felt ashamed to ask for it so often; and Mr. Hobbs and Mr.

Thorne drank a great deal, and their hands trembled so that they had to call her to pour out the liquor for

them. "But for all that," said she, "Mr. Hobbs is good to me, and I can't help liking him. I feel sorry for him."

I tried to comfort her, by telling her that I had laid up a hundred dollars, and that before long I hoped to be

able to give her and Benjamin a home, and send them to school. She was always desirous not to add to my

troubles more than she could help, and I did not discover till years afterwards that Mr. Thorne's intemperance

was not the only annoyance she suffered from him. Though he professed too much gratitude to my

grandmother to injure any of her descendants, he had poured vile language into the ears of her innocent

I usually went to Brooklyn to spend Sunday afternoon. One Sunday, I found Ellen anxiously waiting for me

near the house. "O, mother," said she, "I've been waiting for you this long time. I'm afraid Mr. Thorne has

written to tell Dr. Flint where you are. Make haste and come in. Mrs. Hobbs will tell you all about it!"

The story was soon told. While the children were playing in the grapevine arbor, the day before, Mr. Thorne

came out with a letter in his hand, which he tore up and scattered about. Ellen was sweeping the yard at the

time, and having her mind full of suspicions of him, she picked up the pieces and carried them to the children,

"I'm sure I don't know, and don't care," replied the oldest of the children; "and I don't see how it concerns

"But it does concern me," replied Ellen; "for I'm afraid he's been writing to the south about my mother."

They laughed at her, and called her a silly thing, but goodnaturedly put the fragments of writing together, in

order to read them to her. They were no sooner arranged, than the little girl exclaimed, "I declare, Ellen, I

The contents of Mr. Thorne's letter, as nearly as I can remember, were as follows: , "I have seen your slave,

Linda, and conversed with her. She can be taken very easily, if you manage prudently. There are enough of us

here to swear to her identity as your property. I am a patriot, a lover of my country, and I do this as an act of

justice to the laws." He concluded by informing the doctor of the street and number where I lived. The

children carried the pieces to Mrs. Hobbs, who immediately went to her brother's room for an explanation. He

was not to be found. The servants said they saw him go out with a letter in his hand, and they supposed he

had gone to the post office. The natural inference was, that he had sent to Dr. Flint a copy of those fragments.

When he returned, his sister accused him of it, and he did not deny the charge. He went immediately to his

room, and the next morning he was missing. He had gone over to New York, before any of the family were

It was evident that I had no time to lose; and I hastened back to the city with a heavy heart. Again I was to be

torn from a comfortable home, and all my plans for the welfare of my children were to be frustrated by that

demon Slavery! I now regretted that I never told Mrs. Bruce my story. I had not concealed it merely on

account of being a fugitive; that would have made her anxious, but it would have excited sympathy in her

kind heart. I valued her good opinion, and I was afraid of losing it, if I told her all the particulars of my sad

story. But now I felt that it was necessary for her to know how I was situated. I had once left her abruptly,

without explaining the reason, and it would not be proper to do it again. I went home resolved to tell her in

the morning. But the sadness of my face attracted her attention, and, in answer to her kind inquiries, I poured

out my full heart to her, before bed time. She listened with true womanly sympathy, and told me she would

Early the next morning, Judge Vanderpool and Lawyer Hopper were consulted. They said I had better leave

the city at once, as the risk would be great if the case came to trial. Mrs. Bruce took me in a carriage to the

house of one of her friends, where she assured me I should be safe until my brother could arrive, which

would be in a few days. In the interval my thoughts were much occupied with Ellen. She was mine by birth,

and she was also mine by Southern law, since my grandmother held the bill of sale that made her so. I did not

feel that she was safe unless I had her with me. Mrs. Hobbs, who felt badly about her brother's treachery,

yielded to my entreaties, on condition that she should return in ten days. I avoided making any promise. She

came to me clad in very thin garments, all outgrown, and with a school satchel on her arm, containing a few

articles. It was late in October, and I knew the child must suffer; and not daring to go out in the streets to

purchase any thing, I took off my own flannel skirt and converted it into one for her. Kind Mrs. Bruce came

to bid me good by, and when she saw that I had taken off my clothing for my child, the tears came to her

eyes. She said, "Wait for me, Linda," and went out. She soon returned with a nice warm shawl and hood for

My brother reached New York on Wednesday. Lawyer Hopper advised us to go to Boston by the Stonington

route, as there was less Southern travel in that direction. Mrs. Bruce directed her servants to tell all inquirers

We reached the steamboat Rhode Island in safety. That boat employed colored hands, but I knew that colored

passengers were not admitted to the cabin. I was very desirous for the seclusion of the cabin, not only on

account of exposure to the night air, but also to avoid observation. Lawyer Hopper was waiting on board for

us. He spoke to the stewardess, and asked, as a particular favor, that she would treat us well. He said to me,

"Go and speak to the captain yourself by and by. Take your little girl with you, and I am sure that he will not

let her sleep on deck." With these kind words and a shake of the hand he departed.

The boat was soon on her way, bearing me rapidly from the friendly home where I had hoped to find security

and rest. My brother had left me to purchase the tickets, thinking that I might have better success than he

would. When the stewardess came to me, I paid what she asked, and she gave me three tickets with clipped

corners. In the most unsophisticated manner I said, "You have made a mistake; I asked you for cabin tickets. I

cannot possibly consent to sleep on deck with my little daughter." She assured me there was no mistake. She

said on some of the routes colored people were allowed to sleep in the cabin, but not on this route, which was

much travelled by the wealthy. I asked her to show me to the captain's office, and she said she would after

tea. When the time came, I took Ellen by the hand and went to the captain, politely requesting him to change

our tickets, as we should be very uncomfortable on deck. He said it was contrary to their custom, but he

would see that we had berths below; he would also try to obtain comfortable seats for us in the cars; of that he

was not certain, but he would speak to the conductor about it, when the boat arrived. I thanked him, and

returned to the ladies' cabin. He came afterwards and told me that the conductor of the cars was on board, that

he had spoken to him, and he had promised to take care of us. I was very much surprised at receiving so

much kindness. I don't know whether the pleasing face of my little girl had won his heart, or whether the

stewardess inferred from Lawyer Hopper's manner that I was a fugitive, and had pleaded with him in my

When the boat arrived at Stonington, the conductor kept his promise, and showed us to seats in the first car,

nearest the engine. He asked us to take seats next the door, but as he passed through, we ventured to move on

toward the other end of the car. No incivility was offered us, and we reached Boston in safety.

The day after my arrival was one of the happiest of my life. I felt as if I was beyond the reach of the

bloodhounds; and, for the first time during many years, I had both my children together with me. They

greatly enjoyed their reunion, and laughed and chatted merrily. I watched them with a swelling heart. Their

I could not feel safe in New York, and I accepted the offer of a friend, that we should share expenses and

keep house together. I represented to Mrs. Hobbs that Ellen must have some schooling, and must remain with

me for that purpose. She felt ashamed of being unable to read or spell at her age, so instead of sending her to

school with Benny, I instructed her myself till she was fitted to enter an intermediate school. The winter

passed pleasantly, while I was busy with my needle, and my children with their books.

IN the spring, sad news came to me. Mrs. Bruce was dead. Never again, in this world, should I see her gentle

face, or hear her sympathizing voice. I had lost an excellent friend, and little Mary had lost a tender mother.

Mr. Bruce wished the child to visit some of her mother's relatives in England, and he was desirous that I

should take charge of her. The little motherless one was accustomed to me, and attached to me, and I thought

she would be happier in my care than in that of a stranger. I could also earn more in this way than I could by

my needle. So I put Benny to a trade, and left Ellen to remain in the house with my friend and go to school.

We sailed from New York, and arrived in Liverpool after a pleasant voyage of twelve days. We proceeded

directly to London, and took lodgings at the Adelaide Hotel. The supper seemed to me less luxurious than

those I had seen in American hotels; but my situation was indescribably more pleasant. For the first time in

my life I was in a place where I was treated according to my deportment, without reference to my

complexion. I felt as if a great millstone had been lifted from my breast. Ensconced in a pleasant room, with

my dear little charge, I laid my head on my pillow, for the first time, with the delightful consciousness of

As I had constant care of the child, I had little opportunity to see the wonders of that great city; but I watched

the tide of life that flowed through the streets, and found it a strange contrast to the stagnation in our Southern

towns. Mr. Bruce took his little daughter to spend some days with friends in Oxford Crescent, and of course it

was necessary for me to accompany her. I had heard much of the systematic method of English education,

and I was very desirous that my dear Mary should steer straight in the midst of so much propriety. I closely

observed her little playmates and their nurses, being ready to take any lessons in the science of good

management. The children were more rosy than American children, but I did not see that they differed

materially in other respects. They were like all childrensometimes docile and sometimes wayward.

We next went to Steventon, in Berkshire. It was a small town, said to be the poorest in the county. I saw men

working in the fields for six shillings, and seven shillings, a week, and women for sixpence, and sevenpence,

a day, out of which they boarded themselves. Of course they lived in the most primitive manner; it could not

be otherwise, where a woman's wages for an entire day were not sufficient to buy a pound of meat. They paid

very low rents, and their clothes were made of the cheapest fabrics, though much better than could have been

procured in the United States for the same money. I had heard much about the oppression of the poor in

Europe. The people I saw around me were, many of them, among the poorest poor. But when I visited them

in their little thatched cottages, I felt that the condition of even the meanest and most ignorant among them

was vastly superior to the condition of the most favored slaves in America. They labored hard; but they were

not ordered out to toil while the stars were in the sky, and driven and slashed by an overseer, through heat and

cold, till the stars shone out again. Their homes were very humble; but they were protected by law. No

insolent patrols could come, in the dead of night, and flog them at their pleasure. The father, when he closed

his cottage door, felt safe with his family around him. No master or overseer could come and take from him

his wife, or his daughter. They must separate to earn their living; but the parents knew where their children

were going, and could communicate with them by letters. The relations of husband and wife, parent and

child, were too sacred for the richest noble in the land to violate with impunity. Much was being done to

enlighten these poor people. Schools were established among them, and benevolent societies were active in

efforts to ameliorate their condition. There was no law forbidding them to learn to read and write; and if they

helped each other in spelling out the Bible, they were in no danger of thirtynine lashes, as was the case with

myself and poor, pious, old uncle Fred. I repeat that the most ignorant and the most destitute of these peasants

I do not deny that the poor are oppressed in Europe. I am not disposed to paint their condition so

rosecolored as the Hon. Miss Murray paints the condition of the slaves in the United States. A small portion

of my experience would enable her to read her own pages with anointed eyes. If she were to lay aside her

title, and, instead of visiting among the fashionable, become domesticated, as a poor governess, on some

plantation in Louisiana or Alabama, she would see and hear things that would make her tell quite a different

My visit to England is a memorable event in my life, from the fact of my having there received strong

religious impressions. The contemptuous manner in which the communion had been administered to colored

people, in my native place; the church membership of Dr. Flint, and others like him; and the buying and

selling of slaves, by professed ministers of the gospel, had given me a prejudice against the Episcopal church.

The whole service seemed to me a mockery and a sham. But my home in Steventon was in the family of a

clergyman, who was a true disciple of Jesus. The beauty of his daily life inspired me with faith in the

genuineness of Christian professions. Grace entered my heart, and I knelt at the communion table, I trust, in

I remained abroad ten months, which was much longer than I had anticipated. During all that time, I never

saw the slightest symptom of prejudice against color. Indeed, I entirely forgot it, till the time came for us to

WE had a tedious winter passage, and from the distance spectres seemed to rise up on the shores of the

United States. It is a sad feeling to be afraid of one's native country. We arrived in New York safely, and I

hastened to Boston to look after my children. I found Ellen well, and improving at her school; but Benny was

not there to welcome me. He had been left at a good place to learn a trade, and for several months every thing

worked well. He was liked by the master, and was a favorite with his fellowapprentices; but one day they

accidentally discovered a fact they had never before suspectedthat he was colored! This at once

transformed him into a different being. Some of the apprentices were Americans, others Americanborn

Irish; and it was offensive to their dignity to have a "nigger" among them, after they had been told that he was

a "nigger. " They began by treating him with silent scorn, and finding that he returned the same, they resorted

to insults and abuse. He was too spirited a boy to stand that, and he went off. Being desirous to do something

to support himself, and having no one to advise him, he shipped for a whaling voyage. When I received these

tidings I shed many tears, and bitterly reproached myself for having left him so long. But I had done it for the

best, and now all I could do was to pray to the heavenly Father to guide and protect him.

Not long after my return, I received the following letter from Miss Emily Flint, now Mrs. Dodge:

In this you will recognize the hand of your friend and mistress. Having heard that you had gone with a family

to Europe, I have waited to hear of your return to write to you. I should have answered the letter you wrote to

me long since, but as I could not then act independently of my father, I knew there could be nothing done

satisfactory to you. There were persons here who were willing to buy you and run the risk of getting you. To

this I would not consent. I have always been attached to you, and would not like to see you the slave of

another, or have unkind treatment. I am married now, and can protect you. My husband expects to move to

Virginia this spring, where we think of settling. I am very anxious that you should come and live with me. If

you are not willing to come, you may purchase yourself; but I should prefer having you live with me. If you

come, you may, if you like, spend a month with your grandmother and friends, then come to me in Norfolk,

Virginia. Think this over, and write as soon as possible, and let me know the conclusion. Hoping that your

Of course I did not write to return thanks for this cordial invitation. I felt insulted to be thought stupid enough

It was plain that Dr. Flint's family were apprised of my movements, since they knew of my voyage to Europe.

I expected to have further trouble from them; but having eluded them thus far, I hoped to be as successful in

future. The money I had earned, I was desirous to devote to the education of my children, and to secure a

home for them. It seemed not only hard, but unjust, to pay for myself. I could not possibly regard myself as a

piece of property. Moreover, I had worked many years without wages, and during that time had been obliged

to depend on my grandmother for many comforts in food and clothing. My children certainly belonged to me;

but though Dr. Flint had incurred no expense for their support, he had received a large sum of money for

them. I knew the law would decide that I was his property, and would probably still give his daughter a claim

to my children; but I regarded such laws as the regulations of robbers, who had no rights that I was bound to

respect. The Fugitive Slave Law had not then passed. The judges of Massachusetts had not then stooped

under chains to enter her courts of justice, so called. I knew my old master was rather skittish of

Massachusetts. I relied on her love of freedom, and felt safe on her soil. I am now aware that I honored the

FOR two years my daughter and I supported ourselves comfortably in Boston. At the end of that time, my

brother William offered to send Ellen to a boarding school. It required a great effort for me to consent to part

with her, for I had few near ties, and it was her presence that made my two little rooms seem homelike. But

my judgment prevailed over my selfish feelings. I made preparations for her departure. During the two years

we had lived together I had often resolved to tell her something about her father; but I had never been able to

muster sufficient courage. I had a shrinking dread of diminishing my child's love. I knew she must have

curiosity on the subject, but she had never asked a question. She was always very careful not to say any thing

to remind me of my troubles. Now that she was going from me, I thought if I should die before she returned,

she might hear my story from some one who did not understand the palliating circumstances; and that if she

were entirely ignorant on the subject, her sensitive nature might receive a rude shock.

When we retired for the night, she said, "Mother, it is very hard to leave you alone. I am almost sorry I am

going, though I do want to improve myself. But you will write to me often; won't you, mother?"

I did not throw my arms round her. I did not answer her. But in a calm, solemn way, for it cost me great

effort, I said, "Listen to me, Ellen; I have something to tell you!" I recounted my early sufferings in slavery,

and told her how nearly they had crushed me. I began to tell her how they had driven me into a great sin,

when she clasped me in her arms, and exclaimed, "O, don't, mother! Please don't tell me any more."

"I know all about it, mother," she replied; "I am nothing to my father, and he is nothing to me. All my love is

for you. I was with him five months in Washington, and he never cared for me. He never spoke to me as he

did to his little Fanny. I knew all the time he was my father, for Fanny's nurse told me so; but she said I must

never tell any body, and I never did. I used to wish he would take me in his arms and kiss me, as he did

Fanny; or that he would sometimes smile at me, as he did at her. I thought if he was my own father, he ought

to love me. I was a little girl then, and didn't know any better. But now I never think any thing about my

father. All my love is for you." She hugged me closer as she spoke, and I thanked God that the knowledge I

had so much dreaded to impart had not diminished the affection of my child. I had not the slightest idea she

knew that portion of my history. If I had, I should have spoken to her long before; for my pentup feelings

had often longed to pour themselves out to some one I could trust. But I loved the dear girl better for the

The next morning, she and her uncle started on their journey to the village in New York, where she was to be

placed at school. It seemed as if all the sunshine had gone away. My little room was dreadfully lonely. I was

thankful when a message came from a lady, accustomed to employ me, requesting me to come and sew in her

family for several weeks. On my return, I found a letter from brother William. He thought of opening an

antislavery reading room in Rochester, and combining with it the sale of some books and stationery; and he

wanted me to unite with him. We tried it, but it was not successful. We found warm antislavery friends

there, but the feeling was not general enough to support such an establishment. I passed nearly a year in the

family of Isaac and Amy Post, practical believers in the Christian doctrine of human brotherhood. They

measure a man's worth by his character, not by his complexion. The memory of those beloved and honored

MY brother, being disappointed in his project, concluded to go to California; and it was agreed that Benjamin

should go with him. Ellen liked her school, and was a great favorite there. They did not know her history, and

she did not tell it, because she had no desire to make capital out of their sympathy. But when it was

accidentally discovered that her mother was a fugitive slave, every method was used to increase her

I was alone again. It was necessary for me to be earning money, and I preferred that it should be among those

who knew me. On my return from Rochester, I called at the house of Mr. Bruce, to see Mary, the darling little

babe that had thawed my heart, when it was freezing into a cheerless distrust of all my fellowbeings. She

was growing a tall girl now, but I loved her always. Mr. Bruce had married again, and it was proposed that I

should become nurse to a new infant. I had but one hesitation, and that was my feeling of insecurity in New

York, now greatly increased by the passage of the Fugitive Slave Law. However, I resolved to try the

experiment. I was again fortunate in my employer. The new Mrs. Bruce was an American, brought up under

aristocratic influences, and still living in the midst of them; but if she had any prejudice against color, I was

never made aware of it; and as for the system of slavery, she had a most hearty dislike of it. No sophistry of

Southerners could blind her to its enormity. She was a person of excellent principles and a noble heart. To

me, from that hour to the present, she has been a true and sympathizing friend. Blessings be with her and

About the time that I reentered the Bruce family, an event occurred of disastrous import to the colored

people. The slave Hamlin, the first fugitive that came under the new law, was given up by the bloodhounds of

the north to the bloodhounds of the south. It was the beginning of a reign of terror to the colored population.

The great city rushed on in its whirl of excitement, taking no note of the "short and simple annals of the

poor." But while fashionables were listening to the thrilling voice of Jenny Lind in Metropolitan Hall, the

thrilling voices of poor hunted colored people went up, in an agony of supplication, to the Lord, from Zion's

church. Many families, who had lived in the city for twenty years, fled from it now. Many a poor

washerwoman, who, by hard labor, had made herself a comfortable home, was obliged to sacrifice her

furniture, bid a hurried farewell to friends, and seek her fortune among strangers in Canada. Many a wife

discovered a secret she had never known beforethat her husband was a fugitive, and must leave her to

insure his own safety. Worse still, many a husband discovered that his wife had fled from slavery years ago,

and as "the child follows the condition of its mother," the children of his love were liable to be seized and

carried into slavery. Every where, in those humble homes, there was consternation and anguish. But what

cared the legislators of the "dominant race" for the blood they were crushing out of trampled hearts?

When my brother William spent his last evening with me, before he went to California, we talked nearly all

the time of the distress brought on our oppressed people by the passage of this iniquitous law; and never had I

seen him manifest such bitterness of spirit, such stern hostility to our oppressors. He was himself free from

the operation of the law; for he did not run from any Slaveholding State, being brought into the Free States by

his master. But I was subject to it; and so were hundreds of intelligent and industrious people all around us. I

seldom ventured into the streets; and when it was necessary to do an errand for Mrs. Bruce, or any of the

family, I went as much as possible through back streets and byways. What a disgrace to a city calling itself

free, that inhabitants, guiltless of offence, and seeking to perform their duties conscientiously, should be

condemned to live in such incessant fear, and have nowhere to turn for protection! This state of things, of

course, gave rise to many impromptu . vigilance committees. Every colored person, and every friend of their

persecuted race, kept their eyes wide open. Every evening I examined the newspapers carefully, to see what

Southerners had put up at the hotels. I did this for my own sake, thinking my young mistress and her husband

might be among the list; I wished also to give information to others, if necessary; for if many were "running

This brings up one of my Southern reminiscences, which I will here briefly relate. I was somewhat

acquainted with a slave named Luke, who belonged to a wealthy man in our vicinity. His master died, leaving

a son and daughter heirs to his large fortune. In the division of the slaves, Luke was included in the son's

portion. This young man became a prey to the vices growing out of the "patriarchal institution," and when he

went to the north, to complete his education, he carried his vices with him. He was brought home, deprived of

the use of his limbs, by excessive dissipation. Luke was appointed to wait upon his bedridden master, whose

despotic habits were greatly increased by exasperation at his own helplessness. He kept a cowhide beside

him, and, for the most trivial occurrence, he would order his attendant to bare his back, and kneel beside the

couch, while he whipped him till his strength was exhausted. Some days he was not allowed to wear any

thing but his shirt, in order to be in readiness to be flogged. A day seldom passed without his receiving more

or less blows. If the slightest resistance was offered, the town constable was sent for to execute the

punishment, and Luke learned from experience how much more the constable's strong arm was to be dreaded

than the comparatively feeble one of his master. The arm of his tyrant grew weaker, and was finally palsied;

and then the constable's services were in constant requisition. The fact that he was entirely dependent on

Luke's care, and was obliged to be tended like an infant, instead of inspiring any gratitude or compassion

towards his poor slave, seemed only to increase his irritability and cruelty. As he lay there on his bed, a mere

degraded wreck of manhood, he took into his head the strangest freaks of despotism; and if Luke hesitated to

submit to his orders, the constable was immediately sent for. Some of these freaks were of a nature too filthy

to be repeated. When I fled from the house of bondage, I left poor Luke still chained to the bedside of this

One day, when I had been requested to do an errand for Mrs. Bruce, I was hurrying through back streets, as

usual, when I saw a young man approaching, whose face was familiar to me. As he came nearer, I recognized

Luke. I always rejoiced to see or hear of any one who had escaped from the black pit; but, remembering this

poor fellow's extreme hardships, I was peculiarly glad to see him on Northern soil, though I no longer called

it free soil. I well remembered what a desolate feeling it was to be alone among strangers, and I went up to

him and greeted him cordially. At first, he did not know me; but when I mentioned my name, he remembered

all about me. I told him of the Fugitive Slave Law, and asked him if he did not know that New York was a

He replied, "De risk ain't so bad for me, as 'tis fur you. 'Cause I runned away from de speculator, and you

runned away from de massa. Dem speculators vont spen dar money to come here fur a runaway, if dey ain't

sartin sure to put dar hans right on him. An I tell you I's tuk good car 'bout dat. I had too hard times down dar,

He then told me of the advice he had received, and the plans he had laid. I asked if he had money enough to

take him to Canada. " 'Pend upon it, I hab," he replied. "I tuk car fur dat. I'd bin workin all my days fur dem

cussed whites, an got no pay but kicks and cuffs. So I tought dis nigger had a right to money nuff to bring

him to de Free States. Massa Henry he lib till ebery body vish him dead; an ven he did die, I knowed de

debbil would hab him, an vouldn't vant him to bring his money 'long too. So I tuk some of his bills, and put

'em in de pocket of his ole trousers. An ven he was buried, dis nigger ask fur dem ole trousers, an dey gub 'em

to me." With a low, chuckling laugh, he added, "You see I didn't steal it; dey gub it to me. I tell you, I had

This is a fair specimen of how the moral sense is educated by slavery. When a man has his wages stolen from

him, year after year, and the laws sanction and enforce the theft, how can he be expected to have more regard

to honesty than has the man who robs him? I have become somewhat enlightened, but I confess that I agree

with poor, ignorant, muchabused Luke, in thinking he had a right to that money, as a portion of his unpaid

All that winter I lived in a state of anxiety. When I took the children out to breathe the air, I closely observed

the countenances of all I met. I dreaded the approach of summer, when snakes and slaveholders make their

appearance. I was, in fact, a slave in New York, as subject to slave laws as I had been in a Slave State.

Spring returned, and I received warning from the south that Dr. Flint knew of my return to my old place, and

was making preparations to have me caught. I learned afterwards that my dress, and that of Mrs. Bruce's

children, had been described to him by some of the Northern tools, which slaveholders employ for their base

I immediately informed Mrs. Bruce of my danger, and she took prompt measures for my safety. My place as

nurse could not be supplied immediately, and this generous, sympathizing lady proposed that I should carry

her baby away. It was a comfort to me to have the child with me; for the heart is reluctant to be torn away

from every object it loves. But how few mothers would have consented to have one of their own babes

become a fugitive, for the sake of a poor, hunted nurse, on whom the legislators of the country had let loose

the bloodhounds! When I spoke of the sacrifice she was making, in depriving herself of her dear baby, she

replied, "It is better for you to have baby with you, Linda; for if they get on your track, they will be obliged to

bring the child to me; and then, if there is a possibility of saving you, you shall be saved."

This lady had a very wealthy relative, a benevolent gentleman in many respects, but aristocratic and

proslavery. He remonstrated with her for harboring a fugitive slave; told her she was violating the laws of

her country; and asked her if she was aware of the penalty. She replied, "I am very well aware of it. It is

imprisonment and one thousand dollars fine. Shame on my country that it is so! I am ready to incur the

penalty. I will go to the state's prison, rather than have any poor victim torn from my house, to be carried

The noble heart! The brave heart! The tears are in my eyes while I write of her. May the God of the helpless

I was sent into New England, where I was sheltered by the wife of a senator, whom I shall always hold in

grateful remembrance. This honorable gentleman would not have voted for the Fugitive Slave Law, as did the

senator in "Uncle Tom's Cabin;" on the contrary, he was strongly opposed to it; but he was enough under its

influence to be afraid of having me remain in his house many hours. So I was sent into the country, where I

remained a month with the baby. When it was supposed that Dr. Flint's emissaries had lost track of me, and

MRS. Bruce, and every member of her family, were exceedingly kind to me. I was thankful for the blessings

of my lot, yet I could not always wear a cheerful countenance. I was doing harm to no one; on the contrary, I

was doing all the good I could in my small way; yet I could never go out to breathe God's free air without

trepidation at my heart. This seemed hard; and I could not think it was a right state of things in any civilized

From time to time I received news from my good old grandmother. She could not write; but she employed

others to write for her. The following is an extract from one of her last letters:

Dear Daughter: I cannot hope to see you again on earth; but I pray to God to unite us above, where pain will

no more rack this feeble body of mine; where sorrow and parting from my children will be no more. God has

promised these things if we are faithful unto the end. My age and feeble health deprive me of going to church

now; but God is with me here at home. Thank your brother for his kindness. Give much love to him, and tell

him to remember the Creator in the days of his youth, and strive to meet me in the Father's kingdom. Love to

Ellen and Benjamin. Don't neglect him. Tell him for me, to be a good boy. Strive, my child, to train them for

God's children. May he protect and provide for you, is the prayer of your loving old mother.

These letters both cheered and saddened me. I was always glad to have tidings from the kind, faithful old

friend of my unhappy youth; but her messages of love made my heart yearn to see her before she died, and I

mourned over the fact that it was impossible. Some months after I returned from my flight to New England, I

received a letter from her, in which she wrote, "Dr. Flint is dead. He has left a distressed family. Poor old

I remembered how he had defrauded my grandmother of the hard earnings she had loaned; how he had tried

to cheat her out of the freedom her mistress had promised her, and how he had persecuted her children; and I

thought to myself that she was a better Christian than I was, if she could entirely forgive him. I cannot say,

with truth, that the news of my old master's death softened my feelings towards him. There are wrongs which

even the grave does not bury. The man was odious to me while he lived, and his memory is odious now.

His departure from this world did not diminish my danger. He had threatened my grandmother that his heirs

should hold me in slavery after he was gone; that I never should be free so long as a child of his survived. As

for Mrs. Flint, I had seen her in deeper afflictions than I supposed the loss of her husband would be, for she

had buried several children; yet I never saw any signs of softening in her heart. The doctor had died in

embarrassed circumstances, and had little to will to his heirs, except such property as he was unable to grasp.

I was well aware what I had to expect from the family of Flints; and my fears were confirmed by a letter from

the south, warning me to be on my guard, because Mrs. Flint openly declared that her daughter could not

I kept close watch of the newspapers for arrivals; but one Saturday night, being much occupied, I forgot to

examine the Evening Express as usual. I went down into the parlor for it, early in the morning, and found the

boy about to kindle a fire with it. I took it from him and examined the list of arrivals. Reader, if you have

never been a slave, you cannot imagine the acute sensation of suffering at my heart, when I read the names of

Mr. and Mrs. Dodge, at a hotel in Courtland Street. It was a thirdrate hotel, and that circumstance convinced

me of the truth of what I had heard, that they were short of funds and had need of my value, as they valued

me; and that was by dollars and cents. I hastened with the paper to Mrs. Bruce. Her heart and hand were

always open to every one in distress, and she always warmly sympathized with mine. It was impossible to tell

how near the enemy was. He might have passed and repassed the house while we were sleeping. He might at

that moment be waiting to pounce upon me if I ventured out of doors. I had never seen the husband of my

young mistress, and therefore I could not distinguish him from any other stranger. A carriage was hastily

ordered; and, closely veiled, I followed Mrs. Bruce, taking the baby again with me into exile. After various

turnings and crossings, and returnings, the carriage stopped at the house of one of Mrs. Bruce's friends, where

I was kindly received. Mrs. Bruce returned immediately, to instruct the domestics what to say if any one

It was lucky for me that the evening paper was not burned up before I had a chance to examine the list of

arrivals. It was not long after Mrs. Bruce's return to her house, before several people came to inquire for me.

One inquired for me, another asked for my daughter Ellen, and another said he had a letter from my

This Mr. Dodge, who claimed me as his property, was originally a Yankee pedler in the south; then he

became a merchant, and finally a slaveholder. He managed to get introduced into what was called the first

society, and married Miss Emily Flint. A quarrel arose between him and her brother, and the brother

cowhided him. This led to a family feud, and he proposed to remove to Virginia. Dr. Flint left him no

property, and his own means had become circumscribed, while a wife and children depended upon him for

support. Under these circumstances, it was very natural that he should make an effort to put me into his

I had a colored friend, a man from my native place, in whom I had the most implicit confidence. I sent for

him, and told him that Mr. and Mrs. Dodge had arrived in New York. I proposed that he should call upon

them to make inquiries about his friends at the south, with whom Dr. Flint's family were well acquainted. He

thought there was no impropriety in his doing so, and he consented. He went to the hotel, and knocked at the

door of Mr. Dodge's room, which was opened by the gentleman himself, who gruffly inquired, "What

"Your arrival was published in the evening papers, sir; and I called to ask Mrs. Dodge about my friends at

"You know well enough. I mean Linda, that ran away from Dr. Flint's plantation, some years ago. I dare say

"Yes, sir, I've seen her, and know where she is. She is out of your reach, sir."

"Tell me where she is, or bring her to me, and I will give her a chance to buy her freedom."

"I don't think it would be of any use, sir. I have heard her say she would go to the ends of the earth, rather

than pay any man or woman for her freedom, because she thinks she has a right to it. Besides, she couldn't do

This made Mr. Dodge very angry, and some high words passed between them. My friend was afraid to come

where I was; but in the course of the day I received a note from him. I supposed they had not come from the

south, in the winter, for a pleasure excursion; and now the nature of their business was very plain.

Mrs. Bruce came to me and entreated me to leave the city the next morning. She said her house was watched,

and it was possible that some clew [clue] to me might be obtained. I refused to take her advice. She pleaded

with an earnest tenderness, that ought to have moved me; but I was in a bitter, disheartened mood. I was

weary of flying from pillar to post. I had been chased during half my life, and it seemed as if the chase was

never to end. There I sat, in that great city, guiltless of crime, yet not daring to worship God in any of the

churches. I heard the bells ringing for afternoon service, and, with contemptuous sarcasm, I said, "Will the

preachers take for their text, 'Proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of prison doors to them that are

bound'? or will they preach from the text, 'Do unto others as ye would they should do unto you'?" Oppressed

Poles and Hungarians could find a safe refuge in that city; John Mitchell was free to proclaim in the City Hall

his desire for "a plantation well stocked with slaves;" but there I sat, an oppressed American, not daring to

show my face. God forgive the black and bitter thoughts I indulged on that Sabbath day! The Scripture says,

I had been told that Mr. Dodge said his wife had never signed away her right to my children, and if he could

not get me, he would take them. This it was, more than any thing else, that roused such a tempest in my soul.

Benjamin was with his uncle William in California, but my innocent young daughter had come to spend a

vacation with me. I thought of what I had suffered in slavery at her age, and my heart was like a tiger's when

Dear Mrs. Bruce! I seem to see the expression of her face, as she turned away discouraged by my obstinate

mood. Finding her expostulations unavailing, she sent Ellen to entreat me. When ten o'clock in the evening

arrived and Ellen had not returned, this watchful and unwearied friend became anxious. She came to us in a

carriage, bringing a wellfilled trunk for my journeytrusting that by this time I would listen to reason. I

The next day, baby and I set out in a heavy snow storm, bound for New England again. I received letters from

the City of Iniquity, addressed to me under an assumed name. In a few days one came from Mrs. Bruce,

informing me that my new master was still searching for me, and that she intended to put an end to this

persecution by buying my freedom. I felt grateful for the kindness that prompted this offer, but the idea was

not so pleasant to me as might have been expected. The more my mind had become enlightened, the more

difficult it was for me to consider myself an article of property; and to pay money to those who had so

grievously oppressed me seemed like taking from my sufferings the glory of triumph. I wrote to Mrs. Bruce,

thanking her, but saying that being sold from one owner to another seemed too much like slavery; that such a

great obligation could not be easily cancelled; and that I preferred to go to my brother in California.

Without my knowledge, Mrs. Bruce employed a gentleman in New York to enter into negotiations with Mr.

Dodge. He proposed to pay three hundred dollars down, if Mr. Dodge would sell me, and enter into

obligations to relinquish all claim to me or my children forever after. He who called himself my master said

he scorned so small an offer for such a valuable servant. The gentleman replied, "You can do as you choose,

sir. If you reject this offer you will never get any thing; for the woman has friends who will convey her and

Mr. Dodge concluded that "half a loaf was better than no bread," and he agreed to the proffered terms. By the

next mail I received this brief letter from Mrs. Bruce: "I am rejoiced to tell you that the money for your

freedom has been paid to Mr. Dodge. Come home tomorrow. I long to see you and my sweet babe."

My brain reeled as I read these lines. A gentleman near me said, "It's true; I have seen the bill of sale." "The

bill of sale!" Those words struck me like a blow. So I was sold at last! A human being sold in the free city of

New York! The bill of sale is on record, and future generations will learn from it that women were articles of

traffic in New York, late in the nineteenth century of the Christian religion. It may hereafter prove a useful

document to antiquaries, who are seeking to measure the progress of civilization in the United States. I well

know the value of that bit of paper; but much as I love freedom, I do not like to look upon it. I am deeply

grateful to the generous friend who procured it, but I despise the miscreant who demanded payment for what

I had objected to having my freedom bought, yet I must confess that when it was done I felt as if a heavy load

had been lifted from my weary shoulders. When I rode home in the cars I was no longer afraid to unveil my

face and look at people as they passed. I should have been glad to have met Daniel Dodge himself; to have

had him seen me and known me, that he might have mourned over the untoward circumstances which

When I reached home, the arms of my benefactress were thrown round me, and our tears mingled. As soon as

she could speak, she said, "O Linda, I'm so glad it's all over! You wrote to me as if you thought you were

going to be transferred from one owner to another. But I did not buy you for your services. I should have

done just the same, if you had been going to sail for California tomorrow. I should, at least, have the

My heart was exceedingly full. I remembered how my poor father had tried to buy me, when I was a small

child, and how he had been disappointed. I hoped his spirit was rejoicing over me now. I remembered how

my good old grandmother had laid up her earnings to purchase me in later years, and how often her plans had

been frustrated. How that faithful, loving old heart would leap for joy, if she could look on me and my

children now that we were free! My relatives had been foiled in all their efforts, but God had raised me up a

friend among strangers, who had bestowed on me the precious, longdesired boon. Friend! It is a common

word, often lightly used. Like other good and beautiful things, it may be tarnished by careless handling; but

My grandmother lived to rejoice in my freedom; but not long after, a letter came with a black seal. She had

Time passed on, and a paper came to me from the south, containing an obituary notice of my uncle Phillip. It

was the only case I ever knew of such an honor conferred upon a colored person. It was written by one of his

friends, and contained these words: "Now that death has laid him low, they call him a good man and a useful

citizen; but what are eulogies to the black man, when the world has faded from his vision? It does not require

man's praise to obtain rest in God's kingdom." So they called a colored man a citizen! Strange words to be

Reader, my story ends with freedom; not in the usual way, with marriage. I and my children are now free! We

are as free from the power of slaveholders as are the white people of the north; and though that, according to

my ideas, is not saying a great deal, it is a vast improvement in my condition. The dream of my life is not yet

realized. I do not sit with my children in a home of my own. I still long for a hearthstone of my own, however

humble. I wish it for my children's sake far more than for my own. But God so orders circumstances as to

keep me with my friend Mrs. Bruce. Love, duty, gratitude, also bind me to her side. It is a privilege to serve

her who pities my oppressed people, and who has bestowed the inestimable boon of freedom on me and my

It has been painful to me, in many ways, to recall the dreary years I passed in bondage. I would gladly forget

them if I could. Yet the retrospection is not altogether without solace; for with those gloomy recollections

come tender memories of my good old grandmother, like light, fleecy clouds floating over a dark and

THE following statement is from Amy Post, a member of the Society of Friends [Quakers] in the State of

New York, well known and highly respected by friends of the poor and the oppressed. As has been already

stated, in the preceding pages, the author of this volume spent some time under her hospitable roof. . . . . . . . .

The author of this book is my highlyesteemed friend. If its readers knew her as I know her, they could not

fail to be deeply interested in her story. She was a beloved inmate of our family nearly the whole of the year

1849. She was introduced to us by her affectionate and conscientious brother, who had previously related to

us some of the almost incredible events in his sister's life. I immediately became much interested in Linda;

for her appearance was prepossessing, and her deportment indicated remarkable delicacy of feeling and purity

As we became acquainted, she related to me, from time to time some of the incidents in her bitter experiences

as a slavewoman. Though impelled by a natural craving for human sympathy, she passed through a baptism

of suffering, even in recounting her trials to me, in private confidential conversations. The burden of these

memories lay heavily upon her spiritnaturally virtuous and refined. I repeatedly urged her to consent to the

publication of her narrative; for I felt that it would arouse people to a more earnest work for the

disinthralment of millions still remaining in that soulcrushing condition, which was so unendurable to her.

But her sensitive spirit shrank from publicity. She said, 'You know a woman can whisper her cruel wrongs in

the ear of a dear friend much easier than she can record them for the world to read.' Even in talking with me,

she wept so much, and seemed to suffer such mental agony, that I felt her story was too sacred to be drawn

from her by inquisitive questions, and I left her free to tell as much, or as little, as she chose. Still, I urged

upon her the duty of publishing her experience, for the sake of the good it might do; and, at last, she

Having been a slave so large a portion of her life, she is unlearned; she is obliged to earn her living by her

own labor, and she has worked untiringly to procure education for her children; several times she has been

obliged to leave her employments, in order to fly from the manhunters and womanhunters of our land; but

she pressed through all these obstacles and overcame them. After the labors of the day were over, she traced

secretly and wearily, by the midnight lamp, a truthful record of her eventful life.

This Empire State is a shabby place of refuge for the oppressed; but here, through anxiety, turmoil, and

despair, the freedom of Linda and her children was finally secured, by the exertions of a generous friend. She

was grateful for the boon; but the idea of having been bought was always galling to a spirit that could never

acknowledge itself to be a chattel. She wrote to us thus, soon after the event: 'I thank you for your kind

expressions in regard to my freedom; but the freedom I had before the money was paid was dearer to me.

God gave me that freedom; but man put God's image in the scales with the paltry sum of three hundred

dollars. I served for my liberty as faithfully as Jacob served for Rachel. At the end, he had large possessions;

but I was robbed of my victory; I was obliged to resign my crown, to rid myself of a tyrant.'

Her story, as written by herself, cannot fail to interest the reader. It is a sad illustration of the condition of this

country, which boasts of its civilization, while it sanctions laws and customs which make the experiences of

The following testimonial is from a man who is now a highly respectable colored citizen of Boston .

This narrative contains some incidents so extraordinary, that, doubtless, many persons, under whose eyes it

may chance to fall, will be ready to believe that it is colored highly, to serve a special purpose. But, however

it may be regarded by the incredulous, I know that it is full of living truths. I have been well acquainted with

the author from my boyhood. The circumstances recounted in her history are perfectly familiar to me. I knew

of her treatment from her master; of the imprisonment of her children; of their sale and redemption; of her

seven years' concealment; and of her subsequent escape to the North. I am now a resident of Boston, and am