Title: Kirkham's Find
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Author: Mary Gaunt
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Kirkham's Find
Mary Gaunt
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Table of Contents
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Kirkham's Find
Mary Gaunt
CHAPTER I. ``LIFE IS SO DULL''
CHAPTER II. THE UNATTRACTIVE MEMBER OF THE FAMILY
CHAPTER III. PLEASURE OR PAIN?
CHAPTER IV. A DISREGARDED WARNING.
CHAPTER V. FLIGHT.
CHAPTER VI. FACING DEATH.
CHAPTER VII. PHOEBE DECIDES ON HER FUTURE
CHAPTER VIII. HOPE DEFERRED
CHAPTER IX. NANCY'S ENGAGEMENT
CHAPTER X. PHOEBE BEGINS WORK
CHAPTER XI. POOR NED KIRKHAM
CHAPTER XII. A DESOLATE LAND
CHAPTER XIII. NANCY DOES THE RIGHT THING
CHAPTER XIV. THE WORST OF IT
CHAPTER XV. A WORD OF PRAISE FOR PHOEBE
CHAPTER XVI. PHOEBE'S HAND IS FORCED
CHAPTER XVII. ``KIRKHAM'S FIND''
CHAPTER XVIII. THE BEES MUST GO
CHAPTER XIX. A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT
CHAPTER XX. BEGINNING LIFE
CHAPTER XXI. GETTING ON
CHAPTER XXII. THE BEGINNING OF A GOLDFIELD
CHAPTER XXIII. FIVE YEARS AFTER
CHAPTER XXIV. A NEW PHOEBE
CHAPTER XXV. GHOSTS
CHAPTER XXVI. LYDIA HAS A LOVE AFFAIR OF HER OWN
CHAPTER XXVII. NANCY DOES NOT QUITE RELISH THE SITUATION
CHAPTER XXVIII. THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD
CHAPTER XXIX. TOO LATE
CHAPTER I. "LIFE IS SO DULL"
"It is not for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born to hopes and aspirations, as the
sparks fly upwards, unless he has brutified his nature, and quenched the spirit of immortality,
which is his portion." SOUTHEY.
"Nancy!"
"Well!"
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"What's the good of sitting there saying 'well' when you know I want you?"
A pretty girl with golden brown hair and laughing blue eyes closed her book and, rising leisurely from the log
on which she had been seated, crossed the orchard and joined her sister under the apple tree.
"What do you want?"
"Those hives are just full of honey, don't you think I might take some?"
"I'm sure I don't know. I thought the book said bees ought to have enough left to feed them through the
winter."
"But it's only November. There are six months till the winter."
"And how are you going to take the honey?"
"Smoke the bees or something. That wretched book only tells about frame hives. Where am I go to get money
for frame hives?"
"Oh! gin cases do well enough, I think," said Nancy, cheerfully. "If you don't like them you can sell honey
and buy others."
"That's just it, I want to know how I'm to get the honey, and then, when I've got it, I want to know how I'm to
sell it."
Phoebe Marsden was taller than her sister, and, so said the little world of brothers and sisters, not nearly so
pretty, in fact not pretty at all. She was older too, more than two years older, almost twentyfour, and the
eldest of the family. The younger ones looked on her as quite an old maid, and she herself felt her life, as far
as any happiness or pleasure to herself went, was nearly over. She was nearly a quarter of a century old, a
great age, so said her world, for a single woman, and she was inclined to think the world had no use for her.
"Mother will buy it from you. You know she said she would."
"Yes, I know. Poor mother," and Phoebe laughed scornfully. "She'll give me about a penny a pound, and pay
me when she has the money. It'll come dribbling in, and I'll feel myself a brute for taking it, especially after
the boys have eaten all the honey."
Nancy was a little afraid of the bees, but she saw Phoebe had a discontented fit on, and settling herself down
on the grass at full length, prepared to listen, and if possible console.
"It's about that I'm afraid. I told you before, Phoebe, it isn't the least good in the world trying to do anything
for yourself. Why can't you let things alone, like me?"
"Because because," there was almost a sob in the elder girl's voice, "what on earth is to become of us? It
seems to me we get poorer and poorer, father gets less and less to do, and the family expenses get heavier and
heavier. Just look at those boys growing up."
"I do look," said Nancy, "with sorrow."
"Not a penny have I had this month."
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"Nor me. Look at those becoming shoes. Don't they look sweet," and she drew her petticoats up and looked
down at her feet. Whether they were pretty feet or not and matched the rest of their dainty owner it was
impossible to say, for those shoes were in the last stage of decrepitude, the leather showed wrinkled and
cracked through the blacking, and there was a deplorable split close to the toe of the left foot. Nancy looked
at them a little dolefully.
"Somebody will have to buy me a pair of new ones. Talk about 'travelling on your uppers'! And mother will
sigh and look as distressed as if the bottom had fallen out of the world, and as for father well, it's no good;
I'd rather go barefoot than face father. He makes me feel as if I hadn't a right to exist at all."
"I don't think we have," sighed the elder girl. "How can you take it so coolly, Nanny?"
"What is the good of worry, worry, worry? Phoebe, you're just as bad as mother. It's the loveliest day just
look at the sunshine. I've actually hit on a book I haven't read more than once before. I don't think there's
anything particular to do, or if there is, father isn't here to reprove me for idleness, so I'm just going to loaf
and enjoy myself."
"How can you? I wish I could. Do you really feel happy, Nancy?" and her elder sister looked down on her
wistfully.
"Happy?" Nancy lay back on the grass, and pillowing her head on her arms looked up at the patches of bright
blue sky which peeped through the branches of the apple tree "happy? Why, of course I do. Don't you?"
"No," sighed the elder, "no, never."
"You're older than me, I suppose," said Nancy, vainly trying to find some reason for this uncomfortable state
of affairs.
"I've always been old, I think," said her sister. "When I was quite a little girl I was always too old to do the
nice things the rest of you did, and if you did anything wrong I got scolded because I was the eldest and ought
to have looked after you better, or exerted a better influence, or something of that sort. Oh dear! it's a mistake
to be the eldest."
"I don't know, I believe I'd have been contented enough even if I had been in that unhappy position."
"I believe you would. How is it, Nancy, you always manage to be cheerful, while I well I "
"You are not no, indeed you're not. You're very much the other way just now."
Phoebe cast another mournful glance at the gin cases that did duty as hives, then slipped down on to the grass
beside her sister. She did not lie down though there was nothing indolent about Phoebe.
"There seems nothing in the world to look forward to."
"Don't look forward, then. I'm sure it's very nice here."
"When father comes home tonight he's sure to be depressed; we shall be told that he hasn't earned five pounds
this week, and if this goes on "
"Oh, Phoebe, don't bother! What do you listen for if it makes you feel bad?"
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"I listen of course I must. I know there's a certain amount of truth in it. So do you. His business is falling
off; there are so many younger men coming on, and really I don't know that there is room in Ballarat for so
many stock and station agents."
"Oh, it will all come right in the end. Things always do."
"You always say that, Nancy, but what will we do if they don't?" Nancy laughed.
"Oh! all men rub along somehow. Where's the good of worrying? You'll spoil your beauty."
"I haven't got any."
Candidly speaking Nancy did not think her sister had. She did not admire her face herself, but she did not
want to hurt her feelings, so she laughed gently and said
"What a goose you are to believe all the boys say! I believe you think yourself quite hideous."
Phoebe nodded her head and blinked her eyes in a vain attempt to keep the tears back. It is cruelly hard on a
young woman to have to acknowledge to herself that she is ugly.
Beside Nancy's sparkling eyes and fresh complexion her sister's pale face looked sallow; her dark hair,
though abundant, was dull in hue; her heavy brown eyes were too deepset, and her whole face wore a sad
and discontented air which alone would have spoiled far greater beauty than she possessed. Her figure was
good and she was tall, and had she had but that place in the world which she was always longing for, there
would have been many to call the eldest Miss Marsden a handsome woman. But at home, father, mother,
sisters, brothers, all considered and frankly said she was plain hopelessly plain, said her mother, who
could not conceive of a goodlooking woman over five feet five, which necessarily meant large hands and
feet.
When Phoebe was eighteen she had already fixed her fate in her mind.
"She will be an old maid," she told her only sister, plaintively. Mrs Marsden was a woman who must confide
in somebody, her husband for choice; but, as she said, there were some things one could not tell a man, he
would not understand, and so she overflowed to her sister on the rare occasions on which they met. "She'll
never marry. I don't see that I can do anything with Phoebe."
"I believe some men might call her handsome," said Mrs Carrington, thoughtfully, "if she were well dressed."
And that was the only commendation poor Phoebe had ever received, and even that she had never heard, and
Mrs Carrington was away in England now, and had forgotten all about her.
The family thought Phoebe plain, and she was plain; it was almost cause and effect. How could she be
goodlooking in the face of such adverse opinions? Besides, even her aunt had said, "if she were well
dressed," and she was never well dressed and never likely to be.
Nancy had more than a suspicion of Phoebe's struggle with her tears, and suddenly lifting up her head rolled
herself into her sister's lap and put a caressing arm round her waist.
"Phoebe, you old silly, I don't think you are ugly."
"I I Nancy, it isn't that. I know I'm ugly, but I don't believe I'd mind so much if I was a man."
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"A man! Phoebe!"
"Or could earn a decent living for myself. It's the same thing, isn't it?"
"But how could you earn your own living? It's silly to talk like that."
Phoebe looked down at the pretty face on her knee, and wound her fingers through the sunny curls with a
sigh.
"We can't live on for ever like this, you know. Father and mother will die some day."
"Phoebe!"
"Well, they will. Mother is fortysix and father is over fifty."
"Oh, Phoebe!"
Nancy was shocked. Such conversation seemed to her brutal. The two girls somehow, though they had had
the same training, could not help looking at life from diametrically opposite points of view.
"Yes, I know you are shocked," went on the elder, now thoroughly worked up, and bent on expounding her
ideas, even though it was to no purpose, "but suppose father did die, what would become of us all?"
"It is cruel to talk about such things!"
"It would be still more cruel if they happened, which I hope they won't; but still, suppose they do? Stanley
couldn't keep us and won't be able to keep himself for a good many years to come."
"Oh, Stanley will get married as soon as ever he can afford to," said Nancy. Stanley came between the two
girls, and was, in his secondyear laws, an authority to all the household on the ways of the world, for did he
not live in Melbourne, and had he not for his allowance more money in one year than the girls had in four?
Phoebe felt a little bitter towards her eldest brother. If he from his position outside the home circle, with his
supposed knowledge of the world, had had a good word to say for her, had given her one word of praise, her
position among her younger brothers and sisters would have been materially improved; but he did no such
thing. She did not happen to come up to his ideal of physical beauty, so he uncompromisingly pronounced
her ugly; she had views on various subjects, and had expressed her disapproval of his noble self very freely
when he missed his second year and he posed as one who should be admired therefore he revenged
himself as he had the power to do.
He explained to his mother that his eldest sister was just the sort old maids are made of. Fancy a fellow
marrying a girl like that, plain as a pikestaff, and gives herself airs faugh! Nancy, in his opinion, was all
right, some fellow was sure to come along and marry her, but Phoebe
All of which had filtered through not only to the girls themselves, but to the rest of the family, and Phoebe's
happiness was not increased thereby; and even though she admitted the truth of the unkind speech, she did
not love the brother who had made that speech the more for it.
"Well, Stanley might manage to keep himself, but what would become of mother and the rest of us?"
"What nonsense you do talk!" said Nancy, settling herself more comfortably on her sister's lap. "Father isn't
going to die until he's quite old when we are all grown up."
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"Even then ," began Phoebe, but her sister cut her short.
"Then the boys will all be earning their own livings, and we will be all married."
"You may I suppose you will and so will Nellie; but what's to become of Lydia and me?"
"You'll get married too."
"The boys say I won't," said Phoebe gloomily, "and they say Lydia is just like me. Poor little Lyd!"
"Oh! what is the good of minding what the boys say? Of course you will get married!"
"Who can I marry?" asked the elder. "No one ever cared about me, no one ever does care for me. The few
men we know all like talking to you and never take any notice of me."
"We don't know any worth troubling our heads about."
"There, I told you so!" with gloomy triumph. "If we don't know any men how are we to marry them?"
"Oh, I don't know. Husbands come down the chimney for good girls, you know."
"It's not fair! it's not fair!" burst out Phoebe, passionately; and she pushed her sister aside, and rising to her
feet began pacing up and down under the apple tree. "A woman's just a useless thing, to sit still and do
nothing but look pretty until some man comes along and says, 'I think you're rather goodlooking, it pleases
my majesty to marry you.'"
"Don't you be afraid," a mocking man's voice came from behind, "there's no fear of any one accusing you of
looking pretty, and still less of any fellow asking you to marry him."
"Stanley!"
Phoebe turned quickly with flushed face and glowing dark eyes, and for just that moment her brother thought
that that face gave the lie to his words, but he did not acknowledge it even to himself.
"You needn't trouble your head, my dear," he said with brotherly candour, "no one's at all likely to marry you.
You are just cut out for the old maid of the family."
"That's just exactly what I've been saying." It wasn't, but under the circumstances strict accuracy could hardly
be expected. "And as I'm to be an old maid, I don't want to live a life like this always. I might as well have a
little money or something to do in the world."
"Something to do in the world bah! It's enough to make a fellow sick to hear a girl talk like that. You're as
bad as the awful females at the shop."
"Some of those awful females, as you call them," said Phoebe, mockingly, "have left you far and away
behind. Look at Miss Wilson, a fullblown B.A., and you only in your second year!"
"Miss Wilson be hanged! What does a girl have to do but grind?"
"I wish "
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"Oh yes, I know you. But let me tell you, all the decent fellows think like I do, and all the decent people too.
Do you ever see a girl from good society up at the University? No, of course you don't. Decent girls have
more sense. I know the sorts of girls I like, and there are lots and lots of chaps like me."
"Come, then," said Nancy from her lowly position on the grass, "tell us what she is like." For Phoebe, as
usual in an encounter with her brother, was silenced by his scornful insinuations insinuations which at the
bottom of her heart she believed to be true: that she, being so much less attractive than the majority of girls,
had no right to judge the world of women from her point of view.
"Well, a girl ought to stick at home. She oughtn't to bother her head about Latin and Greek. Who wants his
wife to know anything about mathematics? My wife's going to dance beautifully, and she must play and sing,
and she might paint a bit just enough to decorate the drawingroom. And then if she can cook a bit and
sew a little, that's all I want."
"Moderate, certainly."
"She'll have to be pretty, of course. Ugly women ought to be shut up or smothered or something. Blest if I see
what use they are."
"What about ugly men?"
"Oh, a man don't matter; but I say, you girls, are you aware that I've come all the way from Melbourne,
driven out the seven miles from Ballarat, and I'm as hungry as a hunter."
"Are you, really?" asked Nancy, laughing. "I suppose you didn't bring that perfect girl along with you to wait
on you?"
"Don't be a fool, Nancy! I never said you were ugly" and the slight emphasis on the "you" did not escape
the elder girl's notice "I only said and all fellows, decent fellows with any sense, think like me that
all this talk about higher education for women is all bunkum. No fellow likes a learned wife. Let the women
stick at home and mind their houses. A nice girl's pretty sure to get married in the end; what does she want
spoiling herself earning her own living?"
"I was thinking about the girls who aren't nice," began Phoebe.
"Hang the girls who aren't nice!"
"By all means, if you can do it," said Phoebe, politely sarcastic. "But I do believe there are some girls in the
world who don't want to be only a reflection of a man. Wasn't the world made for women as well as men?"
But he could not understand her. He was not a bad fellow at bottom, he meant kindly enough, but he was
young and egotistical, and he was most firmly imbued with the idea that the world was most certainly made
for men, and women should only look on it through men's eyes. Besides, his eldest sister irritated him. She
was hopelessly plain, in his opinion she ought to accept that fact and sink quietly into the background. It was
hard enough on him, he thought, to have a plain old maiden sister, without her asserting herself and even by
inference lecturing him, who, if he was not good in the schools, was certainly one of the best athletes at the
Melbourne University.
"I wish you wouldn't talk such infernal rot," he said, "I'm sick of it! You are only talking about things you
don't understand in the least."
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"It is my life," thought Phoebe, but she did not put her thoughts into words. He would not have understood. It
was a woman's business to sit still and look pretty, and wait what Fate would bring her. If the future were
good to her, then she should have praise and petting in plenty; but if it were not, then she should be treated as
if it were her own fault. But practically she could do nothing to alter her life. The thought weighed heavily on
her this bright summer afternoon, and took the sunshine out of the day for her.
"Well" Stanley felt he had wasted quite enough time over a sister, even if she were a pretty one "well,
isn't one of you girls going to get a fellow something to eat?"
"Phoebe will, I daresay," said Nancy, lazily; "she's just burning to show her usefulness in the world."
"Well, here's a chance for her," said her brother, and Phoebe flashed round angrily. He thought her ugly, he
thought ugly girls ought to be put out of the way, he wounded her without the slightest thought why, then,
should she wait on him? Angry words rose to her lips and died away there. What was the good of quarrelling?
He didn't understand, not one of her little world understood her. She supposed there must be something
radically wrong in her composition, evidently she was not like other girls. If Nancy would not get Stanley
something to eat she must, and she went into the house with as good a grace as possible, which after all was
not very good, and made him tell his mother that evening that Phoebe was more unbearably oldmaidish than
ever a remark which in time reached the culprit's ears, and did not materially add to her peace of mind.
Nancy did not stir. She understood her brother in one way far better than her sister did. He would not like her
any the less because she gave herself little airs and did not wait on him hand and foot, and she had none of
Phoebe's earnest desire to do the right thing. As she had explained to her sister, she had no object in life save
to get through it pleasantly, and this was just the right sort of afternoon for a loaf in the garden. Soon it would
be too hot to be out of doors, but today, lying here on the grass under the apple tree, it was perfect.
A high hedge hid the house from sight, and no one was likely to disturb her, therefore she closed her eyes and
prepared to make the most of it. She couldn't read. The soft wind blew the leaves over and lost her place, it
made her arm ache to hold up the book, the drowsy hum of the bees poor Phoebe's bees was in her
ears, and from the paddock behind came the sound of children's voices, softened by the distance. It made her
feel sleepy. Those children were chasing the ducks again, she reflected, and wondered lazily if Phoebe would
hear them and put a stop to it. Then her eyes closed, it was so pleasant here under the tree, and when Phoebe
came back, after providing her brother with afternoon tea, she was fast asleep.
Phoebe sighed discontentedly. She had had no tea herself, not that she did not like it, but because, except on
rare occasions, the family finances did not run to it, and now it was an added grievance that her confidante
should be in the land of dreams. Then the children's voices caught her ear, the unlawful nature of the
occupation struck her, and she went across the orchard to investigate. It was not in Phoebe to shirk any duty,
however unpleasant, and Nancy was left alone to sleep her sleep out.
The shadows grew longer and longer. Mr Marsden's buggy came home, and was received with much yelling
and shouting by the children; she was dimly conscious that the nursery teabell ran furiously, and also
conscious that it was her turn to look after that meal, but still she did not rouse herself. She was not called, it
was all right. Phoebe, in her own ungracious fashion, had probably taken her place, and Nancy settled herself
comfortably to sleep again. Then a leaf or two dropped softly on to her face and on her ungloved hand, and
she started up wide awake in a moment.
"Good gracious! What "
"Fairly won, by Jove! Miss Nancy fairly won! That's a pair of gloves to Ned."
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"It isn't! I . How dare you!"
Nancy sat up rubbing her eyes, angry and startled, but not so angry but that she remembered to pull down her
skirts over her feet to hide those wornout shoes from the eyes of the two young men who were standing over
her.
"Don't be cross, Miss Nancy," said the taller of the two; "we've been waiting so long for you to wake, Ned
here felt he had to try other means."
"Then he he "
But Ned Kirkham looked down on her with grave, dark eyes, and she forgave him on the spot, or rather she
expressed her belief there was nothing to forgive.
"I know you wouldn't; would you, now?"
"Of course not. Allan here dropped some leaves on your face. I wouldn't be so impertinent."
"I knew it," said Nancy, in gleeful triumph. "There now, Mr Morrison!"
"It's all very well to say, 'there now,' Miss Nancy, but you don't know what catastrophe might have happened
if I hadn't been here to look after this young cousin of mine. You "
"I've been asleep all the afternoon. One might as well do that as anything else, I think. You never told me you
were coming, else "
"Else you would have stayed awake?"
"Oh, I didn't say that," said Nancy, who was wishing she had on her evening shoes, the only decent pair she
had left, and felt it to be a real grievance that she had been caught in such shabby ones. "But how did you
come? Over the fence?"
Ned Kirkham nodded, and Allan Morrison asked
"Do you think the governor'll object?"
"He won't know," said Nancy, philosophically. "Now you are here, won't you sit down?"
Morrison, who was an older man than his cousin, Ned Kirkham, by seven or eight years, accepted the
invitation and took a seat close beside her, while the other man, folding his arms, leaned up against the apple
tree in such a position that he could carefully scan the fair face beneath him. She blushed a little under his
steadfast gaze, but it did not discommode her much.
"I am sorry to say," began Morrison, gravely, "there's been a sad catastrophe."
"I thought your presence averted that," said Nancy, mischievously.
"I? I wasn't there," said Morrison, who had completely forgotten the chaff of a few minutes ago, "I wish to
the Lord I had been. Ned and I were burning off at the other end of our place, and the confounded jumbucks
got into your wheat."
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"Your sheep in our wheat! Oh, goodness, gracious me!"
"It is 'oh, goodness gracious me!' with a vengeance. Looks as if about forty thousand of them had been
revelling in it. There were only fifty really, but but "
"They had a real good time," said Nancy, smiling.
"They did indeed. And your kids, when they drove them out "
"Had a real good time too. Yes, I know what our children are when they get the chance of being useful."
"Well, they did trample the crop a good deal," said Morrison; "but the question is, what is to be done? Ned
and I thought we'd better come and see when your father will be at home. We must offer him compensation,
you know."
"For the boys trampling the wheat?"
"If the sheep hadn't been there the boys wouldn't have gone after them."
"And if the fence had been properly mended, as it should have been, the sheep wouldn't have trespassed at
all. What are you going to do? See my respected parent, and abuse him for not having his fence in proper
repair?"
"Well, you know," said Morrison, who was a Scotchman, and believed in his own rights, "that fence is just
rotten."
"I know, I know. It's tumbling to pieces and we ought to have a new one, and we have not a penny piece to do
it with. Oh, I've heard the story over and over again, and I'll hear it again tonight."
"Will your father be very wrath, Miss Nancy?" asked Kirkham.
"I don't know that it will make much difference," said Nancy, with a little grimace, "he's always cross. I don't
know why we mind telling him about any fresh disaster. We ought not to really, because if the bottom had
fallen out of the world bodily he couldn't be worse than he was this morning."
"And you suffer. Poor little girl!" said Morrison, sympathetically, but the tender look that came from
Kirkham's brown eyes went straight to her heart.
"After all, I'm not the one to be pitied," she said. "I retire and leave mother or Phoebe to bear the brunt.
Phoebe is the one who takes things to heart."
"Don't you?"
"No, of course not. Where is the good of worrying? Phoebe has views, and is always wanting to do something
for herself."
"Lord! She don't know what she's asking," said Morrison. "Ned and I could give her a wrinkle or two."
Nancy glanced up at Kirkham's gloomy face.
"Why? Aren't things going well with you?" she asked, sympathetically.
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"Well? Good Lord, no! We've about bottomed, I think. The wood is the only thing that pays on the wretched
place. We always buy our sheep dear and sell cheap, the cows ain't no good, the horses die, the pigs " He
paused in the catalogue of woes and threw up his head despairingly.
"Well," said Nancy smiling. "I'm glad the wood pays."
"Yes, but my dear child," Morrison was very much in earnest "We don't want to live out the rest of our
lives as splitters."
"Oh, but times will mend."
"Mend!" Kirkham's face was gloomily hopeless. "There's not much chance of mending, I'm afraid."
"Then what will you do?" Nancy's voice caught a touch of the prevailing gloom.
"Do? We'll Ah, how do you do, Miss Marsden?"
Phoebe, coming silently across the grass, shook hands with both men and looked reproachfully at her sister.
"It's all right, Phoebe," said that young lady cheerfully. "I haven't been arranging a clandestine meeting with
two young men, if that is what you are thinking. They have come over with sorrow to announce a fresh
disaster to the family. Their sheep have been in the twelveacre again, and we're just consoling each other in
our povertystricken condition."
"Really, Miss Marsden," said Morrison, "I'm awfully sorry "
"Never mind," interrupted Phoebe, "I know all about it. The children have just been telling father."
"And Is he very vexed?"
"Vexed? I don't know. Something went wrong in town, and "
"We're all on the doorstep of the Benevolent Asylum," interrupted Nancy, flippantly. "There now," turning to
Kirkham, "you needn't worry about it any more. Our wheat never is any good somehow. If it manages to
grow up all right, it gets spoiled when they reap it, or it gets left out in the rain, or something. It's lucky the
bread supply does not depend on us."
"We go the wrong way about it," sighed Phoebe. "I wish to goodness father would let me manage just for a
year and ask no questions. I know I could make it pay."
"Could you, Miss Marsden?" asked Morrison, sceptically. "It's more than Ned and I can, then. All those
blessed sheep are down on their knees with footrot, and we are just thinking of chucking up the whole thing,
bag and baggage."
"Going away?" cried Nancy in dismay, while Phoebe merely shrugged her shoulders.
"Of course," she said, "it was just madness to take Bandara, poor swamp land like that, what could you
expect? If you must go in for cockatoo farming, you ought to have taken the Hill Farm up above there."
"Listen to Phoebe," mocked Nancy "talking as if she were a land agent at least."
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"Well, she talks common sense, anyhow," said Morrison, "as I know to my cost. But I'd been so long in the
back blocks that the green grass looked awfully attractive. I never guessed what a gluepot it would be in the
winter."
"Take the Hill Farm now," suggested Phoebe, pleased at the modicum of praise she received from her hero,
and Nancy eagerly seconded her.
"Oh, yes, do. It's to let cheap to good tenants." But Morrison shook his head.
"It's no good," he said. "We don't want to be cockatoo farmers all our lives, and that's what it would mean.
Ned could have done as well as this in England without leaving his own people."
Nancy's eyes stole shyly to Kirkham's face, and much to her relief did not read there any signs of great regret
at having left the old country. And Morrison went on
"We want to make our fortunes."
"Lucky people," sighed Phoebe. "I only want to make my own living, but there doesn't seem to be the ghost
of a chance."
"Well, no, you are a woman, you see," said Morrison, watching with a pang the other two exchange glances,
"some one else has got to do that for you."
Phoebe sighed. No one understood her, not even the man to whom she gave the highest place in her small
world. He talked to her, but he watched her sister's bright face the while. Then he sighed at what he read
there, and the elder girl echoed the sigh. There was evidently something wrong in the scheme of creation.
"Well, what are you thinking of doing?" she asked, after a pause given up to bitter reflections.
Morrison hesitated, and looked doubtfully at his cousin.
"It's a wild scheme," he said at last. "There may be a mint of money in it, or it may all end in smoke, and the
next time you see your friends they'll be tramping the country looking for work, with swags on their backs
and quart pots in their hands."
"All right," said Nancy, "come along this road, and we will give you tea and come and pour it out for you."
"But you will succeed. I know you will succeed," said Phoebe.
"Won't you tell us what it is? It seems to me almost anything would be better than stagnating here right out of
the world."
"It's a deal further out of the world where we propose to go," laughed Morrison. "Don't scoff, and I'll tell
you."
"Oh, we won't scoff," said Nancy, "but I can't see what you want going at all."
"You read about the gold discoveries at Dowden's Creek, up in the north?" said Morrison, and Phoebe nodded
her head she always read the papers. "Well," he went on, "I know that country, and I know some like it
just two hundred miles to the west. If there's gold at Dowden's Creek there's gold in the Boolcunda country,
I'll take my colonial oath on that."
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"But," objected Phoebe, "there was very little gold at Dowden's Creek. It was soon worked out."
"I know the man who discovered it," said Morrison, warming to his subject, "and he cleared twenty thousand
pounds before ever the rush took place. Now twenty thousand would just suit Ned and me to a T. We ain't
greedy. Five hundred a year certain would just give us something to go upon, and, of course, we'd make more
than five hundred."
Nancy opened her eyes.
"Oh, yes; five hundred a year would be very nice, if you could get it; but it just seems to me a wild goose
chase."
"No, it isn't; indeed it is not. Is it, Miss Marsden?" cried Kirkham, appealing to Phoebe, in order to convince
her sister. "That's generally the way gold has been found before, only you must keep the secret. We must be
first in the field."
"Yes; mum's the word," said Morrison. "Just you wait, Miss Nancy, till you see the wealthy golddiggers
returning laden with the spoils. You ought to promise us a triumphal arch and a band, at the very least."
"Oh, I'll promise you," said Nancy, laughing to try and hide the fact that the tears were very near the surface,
"only I'm afraid you won't deserve it. You'll forget all about us, and never come back any more. Why don't
you take the Hill Farm, and be content with enough to live on?"
"Because we're sick to death of cockatoo farming, and we are going to make a bid for fortune. It's neck or
nothing this time, I can tell you."
Both men sighed, as if it were already decided it should be nothing, and the girls echoed that sigh. What
would their life be like when these, their nextdoor neighbours, the only decent young men within reach, as
Nancy openly said, were gone?
But neither could put their thoughts into words. The shadows had grown longer and longer; it was manifestly
near the hour when the elder members of the Marsden family had their evening meal; but even careful
Phoebe forgot for once to notice the flight of time; all four stood silent for a moment, then the older girl said,
gravely
"If there's any chance of succeeding, I really think you ought to go."
"Yes, I "began Morrison. Then, with a sudden change of tone, "Oh, I say, here's your father."
Nancy scrambled to her feet, forgetful for once of the shabby shoes, and both girls looked round uneasily.
They were doing nothing morally wrong, yet both started apart guiltily. In truth, Mr Marsden was not an easy
man to deal with. He strode across the orchard with long, quick strides, his downbent head never raised, yet
both girls were horribly conscious that those keen blue eyes of his had taken them and their companions in
long before they had perceived his long, thin figure coming towards them. That would have been all right if
only he would have come up and spoken, but both felt, too, that he would, if not stopped, pass on without
taking any notice, and probably later on they would hear from their mother how much their father
disapproved of their conduct in talking to young men in a clandestine manner in the orchard. Nancy wished
helplessly the earth would open and swallow her up, and Phoebe stood still, with a sullenness that had
something of despair in it. Morrison saw their difficulty and stepped across their father's path.
"Good evening, sir," he said. "My cousin and I came over to see you."
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"Indeed," said Mr Marsden, coldly. "I don't usually see people in the orchard."
Nancy raised her eyebrows for Kirkham's benefit, and Morrison went on, steadily and civilly.
"It was about those blessed sheep, sir. I'm sorry."
Mr Marsden never stopped in his walk for a moment, and a flush of shame mounted to Phoebe's cheek as she
saw he had to follow after her father to make himself heard. Nancy gave a sigh of relief.
"That's done," she said to Kirkham. "I do hope he won't be outrageously rude to poor Mr Morrison. I've long
given over trying to tame the savage beast. When I find he's in one of these sweet tempers I just retire and
leave the coast clear."
"Nancy!" remonstrated her sister.
"Oh, it's all very way to say 'Nancy,' in shocked tones, Phoebe, but it's no good pretending father is sweet or
amiable, or even decently civil, is it? Mr Kirkham has eyes. You don't call that good old English manners, do
you, Mr Kirkham?"
Kirkham laughed. He himself was certainly glad to see his cousin beard the lion in his den. After next month
the old gentleman's tantrums wouldn't affect him one way or the other. He was sorry for the girls though, and
did his best to smooth matters over for them.
"Old gentlemen, even in England, Miss Marsden," he said, with a smile, "sometimes get out of temper, and
make things unpleasant for for "
"Their daughters, and their daughters' friends," said Nancy. "There's one thing about father, he is abominably
rude to you, but it must be constitutional; he can't help it, he'd be just the same to the Prince of Wales or
or St Michael and all the angels. I hope and pray it isn't hereditary. I've fancied of late I've seen signs of it in
Stanley. I'm afraid I'll have to remonstrate with him on the subject."
Kirkham looked over his shoulder. Through the fruit trees he could see the persistent Morrison had at last
succeeded in cornering Mr Marsden in the extreme end of the orchard, where the only alternative was to
stand and listen or to turn and hurriedly retrace his steps.
Phoebe watched them, too, uneasily. Then a bell up at the house rang out loudly, and Nancy turned to
Kirkham.
"That is our tea," she said. "We really must go for it at once. Father will be back in a minute, and I wouldn't
walk up to the house with him for worlds. Oh, dear! it's going to be such a lovely moonlight night. I wish I
could ask you in and we could sit on the verandah and talk, but "
"Thank you very much, Miss Nancy, for the kindly thought." Kirkham looked his pleasure. It was not very
often his lady love was so gracious to him. "I suppose I may walk up to the house with you, mayn't I? I don't
suppose your father would be best pleased if he saw me getting over the fence."
At the house door Phoebe hurriedly bid him goodbye and entered. She was uncomfortably conscious that
her sister wanted a word alone with him, and yet was fearful lest her father should come up and catch them
before he was gone. Phoebe's name, as Nancy often said, should have been Martha, she was troubled by so
many things.
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But for once in a way the same thought had occurred to Nancy, and she cut her adieux remarkably short.
"When shall I see you again?" he asked, laying a detaining hand on her arm.
"Goodness knows," said she, carelessly, though in reality she was as anxious as he. "Come over some day, in
the evening. If it's fine, you are pretty sure to find Phoebe and me in the orchard. And there, I really must
go. Mind you come." And she vanished into the house, while the young man, not desirous of second
interview with the house's master, hurriedly made his way along the drive to the front gate.
CHAPTER II. THE UNATTRACTIVE MEMBER OF THE FAMILY
"'I mean to be somebody, and to do something useful in the world,' said the eldest of five
brothers. 'I don't care how humble my position is, so that I can only do some good, which will
be something. I intend to be a brickmaker; bricks are always wanted, and I shall be really doing
something.'" HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN
The schoolroom, or breakfastroom, as it was indifferently called at Weeroona, was a plainly furnished
room, the floor covered with linoleum and the chairs of Austrian cane pattern, the couch was anything but a
couch of ease, and the only other furniture in the room was a bookcase, which Mr Marsden was wont to
stigmatise as 'hideously' untidy. Phoebe sometimes made desperate efforts to reduce it to order, but her father
on these occasions either took no notice of it at all or grumbled at the way in which she arranged the books,
and then her struggles after law and order suffered a relapse, and she allowed the children to work their
wicked will upon it.
She was just at present in a state of relapse, and the room, bare as it was, certainly looked as if it wanted some
kindly hand to reduce it to a state of comfort. The Marsden family lived there. They had both a diningroom
and a drawingroom, well and comfortably furnished, but they very seldom sat in them, unless, in the
wintertime, when occasional fires were lighted to keep the damp and mildew out. The breakfastroom was
the living room, that was part of Mrs Marsden's economies.
She was already seated at the head of the teatable, surrounded by the teapot and half a dozen cups and
saucers of the common whiteandgold pattern. Her best service only saw the light on rare occasions. She
was a little woman, below the ordinary height, with a look of Nancy in her faded, fretful face, but her eyes
were dark as Phoebe's own, and her hair, too, though plentifully streaked with grey, had once been black as
the proverbial raven's wing.
She looked up from her knitting as Phoebe entered.
"Where's your father?" she asked. "Late, as usual. Cook's made some scones, and they'll all be quite cold if he
doesn't come at once."
"Never mind," said Phoebe, whose mind was relieved by hearing Nancy's footsteps following her down the
passage. "I don't suppose he will eat the scones. He will say they are indigestible. He is in the orchard, and he
must have heard the bell, because I was there, and I heard it quite plainly. But Stanley and Nellie aren't in
yet."
"Oh, they'll come. I don't mind about them, but I don't like your father to be late. I know you were in the
orchard, because well, your father is very vexed about it."
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"About what?" asked Nancy, appearing on the scene to defend herself.
"About your being there talking to those young men. He saw you from the road as he was coming in." Nancy
made a mental note of that for future use. "And he's very vexed. It is just like servant girls, he says."
"What is?" asked Nancy. She was not in the least afraid of her mother.
"Why, meeting young men like that. Leaning over a fence, and talking to them, instead of "
"Coming into the drawingroom, and sitting prop chitty on two chairs, I suppose. Well, if father sees any
harm in what we did this evening he must be looking for it, that's all I can say. Besides we weren't there so
very long. I was sound asleep on the grass by myself most of the time."
"So bad for you," murmured Mrs Marsden, and Nancy went on unheeding
"Then Mr Kirkham and Mr Morrison came over "
"And your father doesn't like them getting over the fence," put in Mrs Marsden.
"Just to tell us that their sheep had got into the twelve acre, and if you see anything wrong in that, why you
had better make arrangements to keep us locked up in our rooms for the remainder of our lives," finished
Nancy, bringing her defence to a triumphant conclusion.
"They should come up to the house and ask for me," commented the mother, feebly. "As your father says, it's
not proper for young girls "
"You don't call Phoebe a young girl, surely," put in Stanley, entering and taking his seat at the table. "I
thought everybody knew she was comfortably settled on the shelf. Anything decent to eat? Give us a chop,
Phoebe."
Phoebe took her seat at the bottom of the table and, raising the dish cover, began serving.
"Very well, mother," she said, for once making capital out of her brother's rudeness; "if I'm on the shelf I
should think I might do whatever I please without anybody making remarks. And there was no harm in our
talking to those two men in the orchard."
"The wonder is they cared to stop and talk to you," said her brother, who somehow could never resist teasing
his sister. To do him justice, he hardly understood how cruel his remarks were. "But I suppose it was Nancy
they came after, eh Nan? Jack says they're both awfully mashed on you."
Nancy tossed her head and laughed a denial, which deceived nobody, least of all her sister. It was true, she
knew, most true. Stanley knew it, at any rate thought it most probable, she herself saw it, even young Jack
saw it, and she sighed to herself as her father entered the room and took his seat in dead silence.
None of his family ever talked before Mr Marsden. He had a way of catching them up short and effacing their
small efforts at conversation which effectually crushed them into silence. They felt it hard, but probably none
of them felt it so keenly as he did himself. According to his lights he was a good father, but whether he asked
too much or was too severe, or what it was he could not have told himself, but he did not succeed in gaining
the confidence of his children. At the sound of his footstep all laughter was hushed, in his presence all
conversation was reduced to awkward attempts, stilted and uncomfortable, on the part of all, to appear at
ease. Probably the only one of his family who sympathised with him was the one he cared least about, his
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eldest daughter. So often she herself was shy and awkward, so often she felt ill at ease, never did it seem to
her she said the right thing when she did speak, that she sympathised with her father, thinking he was in like
ease; for which sympathy, had he known it, he would not have thanked her one jot. Personally he thought a
great deal of his bright and lively second daughter, who did not appear to care what she said to him. Like the
rest of her family he thought Phoebe clumsy and plain, stupid and uninteresting, and he could not forgive her
that she was in his eyes a plain likeness of himself. Everybody said, "Her father's daughter," and he was not
flattered.
Now the tea went on in dead silence. Nancy would not have minded a little more joking about her admirers,
but such a subject was not to be thought of with their father present, and after one or two ineffectual attempts
at conversation on Phoebe's part, attempts which were so clumsy, so palpably forced, they made the rest of
the party shiver, she gave up the effort and betook herself to her own thoughts which were anything but
pleasant.
They all saw it. Both Allan Morrison and Ned Kirkham were in love with Nancy, her pretty sister. How hard
it was, how hard. The blood crept into her dark face as she thought of Allan Morrison's laughing eyes. Why
was all the tenderness in them for Nancy, all the laughter for her? He might like her, perhaps he did, but he
loved her sister. She saw it in a thousand ways. No man had ever loved her, not one. She thought bitterly how
extremely unattractive she must be, for it did not seem to take much to make a man love a girl, judging by
Nancy. She kept turning it over in her own mind all teatime, till she unconsciously sighed so heavily that
Stanley, in spite of his father's presence, burst out laughing.
"Good Lord! Phoebe, I hope you feel better."
"What? Why?"
"Sighing like a furnace. You must be in love."
"You have nothing to sigh for," sighed her father, heavily. "You have your bread and butter in your mouths
before you ask for it. What can you have to sigh for?"
Phoebe pushed away her chair and rose from the table. What indeed? Was it nothing to be condemned to
forty years of life unloved, uncared for, to know one's self unattractive and ugly, to be a thing of naught in the
world, penniless and likely to be penniless all the days of her life? It was not a little thing she felt as she
wandered away into the garden, and watched the moon rise through the trees. It was a full moon and the night
was fairly warm for that part of the world, for even on the hottest summer days the nights up on the hills
round Ballarat are not hot, and tonight she was glad enough to draw a shawl round her head and shoulders.
The moonlight had a great charm for her. She liked to sit there quietly and watch the red moon grow silvery
as she rose up above the trees, to imagine the many scenes that old moon looked down upon and would look
down upon when she had done with this weary life. It was such a lovely world, such a grand world, so full of
glorious possibilities for every one, every one, that was, but herself and poor little Lydia, who they all said
was exactly like her. And even Lydia as yet was not conscious of her shortcomings, she played with the other
children and was content. Their father would give the boys a good education, and they would go out into the
world; they would have at least a chance of making their way, what would she not give to be a boy. Women,
unless they were pretty, as her brother had said, were clearly a mistake, they weren't wanted in the scheme of
creation. Nancy would marry. She wondered whom. Would it be Ned Kirkham? She rather thought Nancy
preferred Ned Kirkham to anybody else in the world just now, or would it be Allan Morrison? She thought
she might have either, and Allan Morrison, well Allan Morrison was such a good fellow, so different to other
men somehow, she liked to hear him talk, like to hear the sound of his voice, why was he so different, and
why oh why?
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The silly old moon was getting dim and the outlines of the trees were all blurred but it was a hard thing
that she should be so unattractive, so unlike other girls; no wonder he preferred Nancy, and Nancy thought no
more of him than she did of the wretched little telegraph operator down at the Neparit post office, who, as not
being in exactly the same social plane as his adored one, worshipped at a discreet distance. She valued him no
more than she did the telegraph operator, and treated him in exactly the same way, and she, Phoebe, would
give but she had nothing in the wide world to give anybody, and first a great scorn of herself filled her
mind and then she pitied herself, and the trees grew more blurred in outline than ever.
"Well, Phoebe, why what's the matter? You're a regular waterworks."
Phoebe started and lifted her face, all tearstained in the moonlight, to her sister's gaze.
"Whatever are you crying for now?" went on that young lady, seating herself on the grass beside her.
"Everything is so uncomfortable." Phoebe broke down and cried unrestrainedly now, and Nancy opened her
eyes in wonder.
"Of course it is, and always has been, and always will be, as far as I can see; but there's no earthly reason that
I know of why you should cry about it. You're always preaching bravery and cheerfulness and all the rest of
it, and saying how much you would like to be a man; a nice sort of man you'd make!"
"If " the poor preacher mopped her eyes and tried to keep down her sobs, "if I were a man it would be
different. I would know I could get out of it some day and I'd work like like . There would be
something to work for."
"You are selfish, always thinking about yourself."
This was a new view of the case, and Phoebe wiped her eyes and prepared to consider it.
"You never see me doing that," went on Nancy, virtuously.
"You never need to. Somebody else always considers you."
"I don't see that there is a pin to choose between us. They consider you just as much then. We are in exactly
the same position."
"Are we? No, we are not. You're pretty and I'm plain."
"Phoebe, I'm just sick of all that stuff. I'm not pretty, or if I am I don't see that makes a bit of difference."
Even a pretty woman likes to think it is something more than her mere beauty that is attractive in her. "I know
what you are worrying over. Just because Mr Kirkham and Mr Morrison seem to like me best. Well, I don't
think it's because they think me pretty," went on Nancy, in a severely judicial tone. "They do like me, I think.
I suppose it's something in my manner."
"I know you're right," sighed Phoebe, loyally. "I know they more than like you, and it isn't only because you
are pretty."
"Well, then, you have the same chances as me, and why don't you take them instead of crying over things
here by yourself. You know they say people make their own happiness. You say that yourself."
"You ought to have something to go upon first, I think," sighed Phoebe.
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"You start by being pretty and knowing it."
"You're rude," said Nancy; but Phoebe went on
"And that gives you a standing. It's so much easier to talk comfortably to a man when you know he is
thinking you are pretty than if you know is looking at you and thinking how plain you are."
"You are a silly old goose, Phoebe."
"I'm telling you the exact state of the case. Ask any plain girl and she'll tell you it is the truth. If you start a
girl in the world ugly, clumsy, badly dressed, and in every way unattractive, she's not at all likely to improve.
She is sure to get snubbed, and each snub will make her worse than she was before. It's a shame, it's a cruel
shame." Phoebe started to her feet as she warmed to her subject. "Only give that girl something to excel in
and she would begin to think a little more of herself and improve in everything."
Nancy lay back on the grass and laughed.
"Well, upon my word, Phoebe, that is the way you excel. You have no idea how well you look standing there
with that shawl draped around you. Your figure must have been meant for wraps of that description, I think.
And if you could see your eyes just now, you'd never say you were plain again. You make yourself plain by
looking so mournful and being so sure you are ugly. Why, your eyes had quite a sparkle in them just now. If
any man saw your dark eyes flash like that he would never look at my wishywashy blue ones again."
"Oh, Nan," the fire died out of Phoebe's face as she sat down beside her sister, "you say that just to please
me."
"I don't; it's true," said the younger girl, "only you never do make yourself interesting to any one but me. If
you only did go in for something, anything, any of those wild fads of yours, and didn't mind people thinking
you eccentric, or what they said, I do believe you would be happy and good looking and attractive too."
It was an inspiration on Nancy's part. For once in her life she had thoroughly realised the emptiness of her
sister's life, and without thinking her careless words would have much weight with the stronger nature, she
gave her candid opinion of the best remedy that lay within reach. If only Phoebe would leave off minding
what people thought of her Nancy felt sure she would be happier, and Phoebe seized the idea as a drowning
man catches at a straw.
"Do you really think so?"
"Indeed I do," said Nancy, earnestly, somewhat amused, too, at being taken so seriously.
"Then I tell you what, I promise you, Nan, I'll never grumble again, however bad I feel. I'll just set to work at
something. Yes I will. I'll go in for bees regularly. I shan't mind what father and mother say. I'll just see if I
can't make some money out of them; enough to dress decently, perhaps enough to make a living out of
altogether."
Nancy laughed merrily.
"Well, you are a funny girl, Phoebe! One minute you are crying because you are not beautiful and all the rest
of it, and the next you are comforted by the thought of bees."
"One minute crying for the moon," sighed Phoebe, "the next building a castle of bee hives, and a castle in the
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air too. It's rather a poor sort of look out, I'm afraid, but any how it is all I have got, so I suppose I will have
to make the best of it. There is a lot of honey in those hives; don't laugh, there really is, Nancy. I'll sell it, and
put the money away and buy more bees and hives. I think that is the only way to succeed."
"Who will you sell the honey to? Mother?"
"No." Phoebe sat up straight and considered the matter seriously. "No, it's not a bit of good doing things in
that way. Nan, I'm going in for it regularly, going to make my living at it, if I can. I won't be a lonely,
desolate old maid if I can help myself. I want a little money if I can manage it. And it is not a bit of good
taking mother into consideration. I couldn't take money from her. I'll sell it, if I can to the grocer, or even
send it to Melbourne if I get better prices there. That man I bought the bees from told me it paid to sell honey
at 3 1/2d a pound, and then of course there is the wax, that is worth, I believe, about 10d a pound, but I don't
really know much about it yet; but you see, Nancy," Phoebe's face began to look quite cheerful in the
moonlight, "I really think there ought to be something in it."
"Phoebe! One minute down in the depths of woe, and the next "
"Oh, I'm not in the seventh heaven quite, just yet. But, really, just think how delightful it would be to have
even a pound that you could do exactly what you liked with without accounting to any one for it."
"After all, though," said Nancy, fearing this castle was being built too high, "you can't expect bees to bring
you in a fortune."
"No, of course not. But suppose I could make enough to start something else, a farm of my own, perhaps.
Don't you think if you and I had this place to live on and no other expenses "
"We would be rich! What fun it would be!"
"Well,listen." The moonlight shone down on the earnest face, and her sister once more asked herself how it
was they all called Phoebe plain. "If I had a hundred a year clear, or even a hundred pounds clear, I could
afford to take the Hill Farm, and I'm quite sure I could manage it, and not only make both ends meet, but
have a little over as well."
"Phoebe!"
"Well, have you any objections?"
"Me? Oh, no. Only I don't see how you can do it. Why, it will take you years to get a hundred pounds!"
"Well, I may just as well be getting that hundred pounds as doing nothing. I suppose father will always give
me twenty pounds a year for my dress? It isn't much, but I can manage; and all the money I make I'll put into
the savings bank."
"Oh!" Nancy looked at her sister wonderingly. "And but it will take you years to get a hundred pounds,
won't it?"
"I haven't an idea. But suppose I sell each hiveful of honey for five shillings. Surely I ought to get that?"
"It seems a good lot," said Nancy, dubiously. "And it will take hundreds of hives to make even fifty pounds."
"Exactly two hundred, and then of course the hives will go on increasing, and so will the money in the
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savings bank, if it stays there long enough."
"But, oh, dear, it will take you years and years!"
"I may as well be doing that as anything else. If things go right each year will bring me more stock, and if I'm
only independent by the time I'm fifty I will be better off at any rate than I am now."
"Fifty," sighed Nancy. "Six and twenty years hence. Oh, Phoebe, how can you look so far forward? We may
all be dead and buried by then, or I don't see why you shouldn't get married. Almost every girl gets married in
the end."
"Look here, Nan." Phoebe was not near tears now, but she was very grave; no thoughtful good woman gives
up hope of love of husband and children lightly, and Phoebe was the last woman in the world to look at
things from a conventional point of view. "I'm not going to pretend to you I would not like to be married. I
would like it very much indeed, provided I married the right man. But you know what the boys say "
"The boys," interrupted Nancy contemptuously; but Phoebe went on bravely, though there was a slight
tremble in her voice
"There's a certain amount of truth in what they say. You said so yourself. Now, if I'm not attractive to any
man, is it at all likely the man I would like to marry will ask me? I would like to be married for love; love like
Esmond had for Beatrice, or or like Romeo had for Juliet, you know. You ought to be better up in that sort
of thing than I am. And since I can't have that, I'll do the best I can to be happy without. Nancy, even if I
could, I do think it would be a shameful sort of thing to marry just for a home; to make a sort of business of
choosing a husband, like the boys do in choosing a profession," and the resolute dark eyes looked straight up
at the round moon, now high in the heavens.
"I don't know," said Nancy, doubtfully, "a girl doesn't exactly choose a husband like that. The man falls in
love with her, and you don't know how different that makes you feel towards him," and Nancy's face was all
smiles and dimples in the moonlight.
"I use my eyes, though, and see," said her sister, with the ghost of a smile. "It's not so satisfactory, but you
must admit that lookerson see the most of the game. Some men have fallen in love with you and you liked
them a little for it; but none of them had a penny piece, and so and so "
"And so I couldn't say 'yes,' as I should have done long ago, just to be out of this, if they had."
"There! You may say what you like, Nan, but it is shocking that a woman in our class should have to marry
for a home. If you had something you liked to do; if you were quite independent, and had, perhaps, just a
little money, you would set a much higher value on yourself, and you would not marry until you were in love,
and you would be very certain that you were in love, too."
"Oh, Phoebe," laughed Nancy, "what queer notions you have. I don't believe they would answer at all. I
expect I will get married some day, and I expect I will be in love with my husband; and, somehow, I can't
help thinking that will be better than bothering about your old bees till I'm about fifty."
"I wasn't meaning you," said her sister. "I was thinking about myself. I may as well have something to work
for, even if I don't attain it for a quarter of a century. But you, you are lucky. Of course you will marry the
man you love, especially if he is "
"Don't Phoebe, don't."
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"Why not, Nan? Is he Ned Kirkham?"
Nancy hid her face on her sister's shoulder.
"Oh, Phoebe, do you think he cares for me?"
"Yes, dear, I do. I am sure of it. They all care for you, Nancy. How can they help it?"
"I," whispered Nancy, "I only want him to care, but, oh dear, what is the good even if he does? He hasn't got
a penny piece."
"You're both so young," said her sister, stroking her hair; "he'll make money, why shouldn't he?"
Nancy sighed.
"He never told me he cared," she said.
"I don't think it needs to be told, it's so plain that even the children see it. You ought to be satisfied," and in
her turn Phoebe sighed, for the children had seen more than that, and it hurt her even to think of Allan
Morrison's love. She could not help being glad her sister, this allconquering sister, should not return his
love; and yet she was unreasonably angry because she treated it as a thing of naught.
"Phoebe," Nancy recovering her usual equanimity, raised her head, "were you ever smitten?"
"How should I be? No man ever cared about me."
"I don't know, they might. Mr Morrison said to me only yesterday you had such a nice face, just the face he
would like to see bending over him if he were sick or sorry. He said you looked so strong and comforting. So,
you see, you have an admirer after all."
Even in the moonlight Nancy saw how painfully her sister flushed.
"And my admirer fell in love with you, Nan. That's not much good to me, is it?"
"You don't care, do you? You're not a bit smitten with Allan Morrison, are you? Why, his hair is red, and he
is the most clumsy fellow I ever saw."
"No, of course I'm not," said Phoebe, but her voice was not quite as careless as she would have liked to have
had it. "I don't care a bit. I'm going to work hard at my bees and, if I possibly can, be a fairly welltodo old
maid. There is nothing else for me to look forward to, and "
"Girls, girls, why ever don't you come in? What can you be doing in the garden at this time of night," their
mother's fretful voice was calling to them from the verandah, and Phoebe rose up with alacrity. She was
thankful for anything that might turn Nancy's thoughts into another channel. That young lady followed more
slowly. She had discovered Phoebe's secret and was turning it over in her own mind.
So Phoebe had fallen in love with big Allan Morrison, had she? Poor Phoebe. That was why she had been so
discontented lately, so extra discontented. And Allan Morrison was in love with her little self, she was quite
certain of that. She might doubt Kirkham's love, she cared too much to be certain; but of Morrison she had
not a shadow of a doubt, and Phoebe was in love with him. How strange! And Nancy followed her sister into
the house and listened with deaf ears to her mother's many reasons why they should not go out into the
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garden in the evening.
CHAPTER III. PLEASURE OR PAIN?
More discontents I never had
Since I was born, than here
Where I have been, and still am sad.
HERRICK.
The little church at Neparit was only a weatherboard building, roofed with corrugated iron, and the heat
inside on a summer's day was stifling. It was hot even when it was empty, and now when it was full it was ten
times worse. They were a tolerant folk those cockatoo farmers who lived up in the ranges and Church of
England, Presbyterians, and Wesleyans, all held their services in turn in the same building, and all attended
impartially. The Marsden family always went regularly, much to Phoebe's disgust. She did not like walking
two miles to church through the heat and cold, and she held it a hardship to have to attend the Presbyterian
and Wesleyan services. Besides, she worked so hard at household matters during the week; there was always
so much needlework to be done, so much mending and making for the numerous family, that she looked
forward to Sunday as a day of rest, a day which she might have to herself to read and think, and this going to
church made it as full as any other day, for the solitary servant they kept went away in the afternoon to see
her own family and the two eldest girls of necessity took her place. All Phoebe's Sunday, as she grumbled,
was taken up with setting meals and clearing them away again. She would not have minded the Church of
England service, but the others they were a real hardship. However, Mr Marsden had decided that it was
only right his family should set a good example, and accordingly, however unwillingly, they did so. They
certainly made a goodly array of boys and girls, filling up quite two of the seats, the back row under Phoebe's
guardianship not quite so well behaved as the front, which their father had under his own eye. It was the
Church of England's turn this November Sunday, and within the altar rails behind the desk, that did duty both
as readingdesk and pulpit, stood one of the mild young men whom the Church at times seems to enlist by
the dozen simply because they are pious, and for no other reason whatever. He was not a forcible member of
the Church Militant, and he droned on gently, wiping his damp forehead every now and then in an apologetic
way. The congregation were in no way interested in him. They had all come to church, like the Marsden
family, because it was the correct thing to do, and having got there they settled themselves as comfortably as
the hot weather would permit and gave their thoughts up to the consideration of their crops and their flocks
and their herds. Phoebe did, or tried to. She knew all the prayers off by heart, she had long ago given up
listening to Mr Thompson. He did read in such an astonishing manner, and put the emphasis in such palpably
wrong places, that she had come to the conclusion that she was in a more Christian frame of mind afterwards
if she did not listen. The Scotch minister was wont to talk to them in commonplace terms of the very things
that were filling the minds of most of them, became personal, and even mentioned by name any man whom
he thought was neglecting his duty by leaving his fences unmended or his cattle improperly cared for, or who
was getting rich at the expense of his neighbour. He was a homely man who had no dignity about him, and
his talk of homely things carried a certain amount of weight with it. And the Wesleyan minister hurled
anathemas around with great impartiality and a wonderful earnestness that held his congregation spellbound
and even reduced the more emotional to tears; but Mr Thompson, like many another Church of England
clergyman in the colonies, had no gifts of any description, he was a man who would have failed to make a
decent living in any other walk of life, and was consequently starving, mildly and humbly, on £75 a year in
the Church. Phoebe felt a certain amount of pity for him; he was worse off than she was herself, she thought.
What could he hope for? Certainly she had not much, but if those bees she had expended a whole shilling
on a new pamphlet the day before in Ballarat, and she had never found time to look at it yet, but still she had
gathered from the casual glances she had stolen that bees might be far more profitable than she had ever
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dreamed. She intended to devote the whole of sermon time to its perusal; but here was this slow young man
only got as far as the first lesson and stumbling helplessly through the Bible in a vain effort to find the place.
He had it wrong too. Phoebe did not, as a rule, pay much attention, but she was pretty sure that the story of
Absolom did not come somewhere in the last Sundays after Trinity. But what did it matter? It was so hot and
the boys were so restless, while Nancy at the other end of the pew was just as bad. Phoebe began to be
anxious least her father should turn and see that her sister, instead of paying attention to her devotions, was
letting her eyes wander all round the church and fidgeting quite as much as the little boy beside her. She
knew what was the matter, had she not seen it the moment they entered the church. The two young men from
Bandara were not there. They were as regular attendants as the Marsden family themselves, a matter which
Mrs Marsden always mentioned as being greatly to their credit, but which both Nancy and Phoebe set down
as cause and effect. If Nancy's pretty face were not there in its corner so regularly, would those young men
have turned up to listen to droning Mr Thompson? Phoebe answered the question in the negative, promptly,
for it is not in the nature of mankind, at any rate of young mankind, to listen to the mild admonitions of a
mild young man whose education does not pretend to be half as good as their own, and who is as much their
inferior physically as he is mentally. No, Phoebe set the attendance of those young men down at about its
right value, and then unprofitably fell to wondering if they would have come to see her if Nancy had not been
there. With a sigh she decided against herself, and tried to fix her thoughts on her new speculation and grow
rich in imagination on the proceeds of her bees, but it would not do. She would not look round as her sister
was doing, but she could not prevent herself watching that sister's face. There was a slight movement at the
open door, and Nancy's face told Phoebe, like an open book, that the one she had been expecting so long had
come at last. Yes, Mr Kirkham had come, she was as sure of that as if she had seen him with her own eyes,
but had his cousin accompanied him? Nancy's face did not tell her that. She had a little battle with herself; he
did not come to see her and the sooner she forgot him the better; she would not turn round. Having arrived at
which wise conclusion, she turned at once and met a pair of smiling blue eyes looking straight at her own.
She blushed, she was so glad, and then grew hotter still, as she told herself it was only because she was her
sister's sister she received that smile, which was doing herself a grave injustice, for Allan Morrison, if he did
not love her, had a great respect and liking for his lady love's sister.
And the parson droned on over the story of Absolom: "And his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken
up between the heaven and the earth; and the mule that was under him went away."
"Deuced mean of that mule," muttered Stanley Marsden, in an audible whisper, and his little brothers found
the remark so extremely funny they gurgled and choked and reduced their sister to the verge of despair. Mr
Marsden heard, as she feared he would, and looked round with a frown; he would never make allowances for
laughter and irreverence in church, however irresistible the cause, and the boys dropped down on their knees
and buried their faces in their pockethandkerchiefs. Their father frowned heavily at his eldest daughter, and
having made her feel she was thoroughly responsible for the iniquities of her brothers, turned and listened
with ostentatious interest to the concluding words of the lesson. Phoebe was boiling over with rage now. How
was it she was held responsible whatever went wrong? Even now, when she was wholly innocent, it was
always her fault, always, always, and Stanley, the cause of it all, calmly pulled away at his incipient
moustache with an expression of angelic innocence that irritated her beyond bearing. Every one was singing
the Te Deum Laudamus to a tune only known to the Neparit Church folks, and she stood up with the rest, but
she opened her pamphlet and slipped it inside her prayer book. Why should she wait for the sermon? These
prayers were not likely to do her any good. She had known the time when she had prayed with fervour for
some change, something that should make her happier, but of late that mood had passed. She did not believe
now that an answer to her prayers would come, unless, as the Scotch minister had said last Sunday, she made
some effort to help herself. "God helps those that help themselves," he had quoted from that very
readingdesk where the other young man was now struggling with the second lesson, and she came to the
conclusion that the only way to help herself, to ensure the answering of her prayers, was to study her book
now when she had the chance. It was a little effort to fix her attention, too, for the thought that Allan
Morrison was close behind her would intrude itself upon her mind. The parson and his reading did not trouble
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her in the very least, but Allan Morrison she could not put out of her mind, could not help wondering whether
he would walk home with her as he had last Sunday. She had been so awkward and stupid too, for she had
felt all along that it was only because she was Nancy's sister he had done it, and she could not think of
anything to say. She had felt her own want of charm terribly, indeed it is only given to the most accomplished
woman of the world to be charming under such circumstances, and Phoebe's knowledge of the world was of
the crudest. And now today it would be the same thing over again. No, it should not. She would be nice to
him, as nice as she knew how; but he should not be first with her. She would think about the bee farm, that
should be first. She would tell him about it, and if he was not interested, then he could do the other thing. She
would not care, and she would not think about him.
They sang a hymn Phoebe had a little lost her place in the service and then the young man started on
his sermon. He was not a wise young man, and he chose a text out of Revelations and began a disquisition
upon the war in heaven, the war between Michael and his angels and the dragon. What it all meant he did not
seem exactly to understand himself, and he certainly did not throw any light upon the subject for his hearers.
And Phoebe, with a mighty effort, gave all her attention to the book upon bees. The parson's monotone
soothed her somewhat and she read on, forcing at first the interest which grew as she read. So it was a real
thing she had been planning for herself; quite possible she might succeed, with care she could succeed and
she would. The only difficulty was the first outlay. And she immediately began to consider ways and means
with such earnestness that she was surprised by the sermon coming to an abrupt conclusion she had long
ago forgotten about Michael and his army and the congregation rising with a relieved sigh to its feet. And
during that halfhour, it was over half an hour, for she looked at Stanley's watch, she had not once thought of
Allan Morrison. She felt it was a distinct improvement and sighed with thankfulness, perhaps she would not
find it so hard to forget him if she had something interesting to do in life. And she left the church with a smile
on her usually grave face; for once church had done her good, albeit her prayer book had been a book on
bees.
Ned Kirkham joined Nancy outside. She had expected that. And now what would the other man do, would he
join her or would he walk with Stanley? She hoped he would go with Stanley, she told herself, she didn't
want to play second fiddle; besides, they would have to walk home through the paddocks, and her shoes were
not as nice as they might have been. If she walked with him she would have to let her skirts cover her shabby
shoes, while if she went with one of the boys she might hold them up as high as she pleased, whereas if she
let them down it meant getting them full of grass seeds, which would take at least half an hour to pick out.
Yes, she would rather walk alone. Lydia came and hung affectionately on her arm, and she told herself she
was glad. Then Jack called the younger girl away, and some one else took the place beside her.
"You look very blooming today, Miss Marsden."
She knew Allan Morrison's voice without turning her head, but a remark like that did not please her, why
should he call her blooming when she knew well enough he must think her plain, especially in this blue and
white spotted print, which was the last thing in the world to suit her dark complexion.
"Why do you mock me?" she said, some of the vexation she felt appearing in her voice.
"Mock you! Why "
"Yes, mock me. You know you don't think me a bit goodlooking. You know," she went on hurriedly,
somewhat ashamed of her own vehemence. Phoebe had never spoken her thoughts out to any man in her life
before, "you know you don't think I'm a bit the style you call blooming, and you are laughing at me."
"Laughing at you," the kindly laughing blue eyes looked straight into hers, good honest eyes they were,
"laughing at you. Why, Miss Phoebe, nothing could be farther from my thoughts. I did think you bright and
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happy this morning, brighter and happier than I have ever seen you look before, and so I called you
blooming, that's all. Is it a very great offence?"
"No, no, of course not."
"And really I don't know why you should say I don't think you goodlooking? You needn't libel me."
"You? It's me, I think. I daresay you'll laugh at my stupidity, Mr Morrison," she went on, flushing to the roots
of her hair, "but it really is a very hard thing to be the plain elder sister, and I can't help worrying over it," and
then she wished with all her heart she had not spoken.
But Allan Morrison seemed to understand her.
"Yes," he said. "I think that would be quite natural. But are you the plain elder sister? Does anybody say so
but yourself?"
"Anybody? Why, all of them."
"What! You don't mean to say you take to heart what your brothers say? Why, they only do that to tease
you!"
"My glass tells me it's true," she said, ruefully, still somewhat ashamed of talking thus freely to a young man,
and yet glad to get an outside opinion.
"Then your glass does not tell you the exact truth, or you don't read its remarks aright, which is more
probably the case. I know what's the matter with you, you know. You will put yourself on the same plane as
your sister when you are so different."
"She is pretty, isn't she?" said Phoebe, loyally.
"She is," said the man beside her, with a sigh. "But, Miss Marsden, you have many advantages that you don't
seem half grateful enough for, and you don't seem to appreciate at all. Now, will you let me be a little
personal, since we have got upon this subject. It seems to me you don't think half enough of yourself. You let
those brothers of yours sit upon you in the most abominable manner. Now, look here, don't you know you
really have a fine figure, you ought to carry yourself a little better and look as if the world belonged to you
more, and "
"I'm so tall," sighed Phoebe.
"Exactly. It's a great thing if you only manage it better. But you will persist in looking as if you were
ashamed of the fact. If you looked as if the world belonged to you every one else would admire you."
"And if I were better dressed, I suppose?" said Phoebe, getting interested in this open discussion of her merits
and demerits.
"Well, of course, I think a finelooking woman always pays for being welldressed. I'm not going to say she
doesn't."
"And I'm so poor."
"Oh, we're all poor. But you know you might do better than you do. You always put on your clothes as if it
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didn't matter a bit what you wore. Now, Miss Nancy always looks spick and span. Why don't you wear pretty
colours like she does?"
"Nan looks such a dainty little thing in her pinks and blues, it's worth the trouble of getting them up. You
don't know what a bother it is to get up dresses. It never seems worth while to bother about myself. I'd never
repay the trouble."
"Do you mean to say you get up Miss Nancy's dresses and don't bother about your own?"
"Well," said Phoebe, apologetically, "she has such dainty little hands, you know; I don't like her to spoil
them, and washing and ironing does spoil them, you know."
He looked at her curiously. If he had only thought of her as Nancy's eldest sister before now a separate
interest was awakening within him.
"And what about yours? Doesn't it spoil yours too?"
"Oh, mine, it doesn't really matter about mine. There isn't anything to spoil. The boys say I've got a fist like a
leg of mutton."
He looked at her hand, cased in shabby dark blue silk gloves. It was large but not unshapely.
"There you make a mistake. Your hand is right enough. A tall woman like you don't want a tiny little hand
like Miss Nancy's. Now, Miss Marsden, do take my advice and don't think me horrid cheeky for giving it.
Just you think a lot of yourself, and don't let those young brothers of yours bounce you. You dress in pretty
things too, and do your hair becomingly, up on top of your head, I think, instead of a knob behind, as if it
were ready for the wash, and you see how much better looking your glass will tell you you look."
Phoebe looked at him shyly.
"You really won't think badly of me for talking like this. I never did it to any one before."
"Badly of you, of course not. I think it's very kind of you to take me into your confidence, and I shall be
awfully flattered if you follow my advice."
"I will," said Phoebe, gratefully. "You see if I don't."
"You'll have to begin at once, then," he said. "Do you know we have sold the place and are going to clear out
tomorrow fortnight?"
"What?" It seemed to Phoebe as if the bright sunshine had suddenly clouded over and the glory of the day
had departed. "Are you going away?"
"Yes. Ned and I can't make it pay anyhow. So we just took what we could for the farm and are going away
north. I told you about it."
"Then we shall never see you again."
"Oh yes, you will. There's a loadstar I expect will fetch Ned back from the uppermost parts of the earth," and
he glanced to where Nancy and Ned Kirkham were walking in earnest conversation in front. He envied Ned
Kirkham, that was evident, he would have walked with Nancy if he could, and Phoebe suppressed a sigh of
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envy and regret. He showed her her own good points, but like the rest of the world he preferred Nancy. Well,
she had known it all before, why should she grieve now. One shall have all the love while the other well,
the other had evidently got more than she expected, hearty liking, why should she not be content. She held
her head up as her new mentor had directed and tried to look as if the world belonged to her, tried to hide the
fact even from herself, that the only man in the world she did want, her allconquering sister had already
taken from her. It was no good crying over what could not be helped. She proposed from this time forward to
turn over a new leaf and make the best of everything. This man beside her was looking longingly at her sister,
still he had been kind to her and she would make him listen to her thanks.
"You must come back," she said, looking him straight in the face, and he wondered he had not before noticed
how sympathetic those deeply set brown eyes of hers were, "there won't be any pleasure in improving if my
master doesn't praise me for it. And even if the loadstar you talk of does not fetch Mr Kirkham back, surely
that's no reason why you shouldn't come?"
He stood still a moment looking at her gravely. These two had fallen behind. There was no track across the
paddock, which was uncleared, full of tall red gums and an undergrowth of titree and bracken, and so each
little party choose the path which seemed best to themselves, and they were as much alone as if none of the
others were anywhere about.
"You know, Miss Marsden," he began, hurriedly, and Phoebe would have given worlds to check his
confidences, but he had been kind to her and she felt it her bounden duty to do all she could for him, "you
know I think that that would be just the very thing that would bring me back. I might have some luck
if he were out of the way with his confoundedly handsome face."
"Surely," began Phoebe in wonder, and then checked herself.
He looked at her eagerly.
"Yes; well, what were you going to say?"
"That surely you don't think Mr Kirkham betterlooking than you are?"
"Why, yes, of course. Any fool could see that with half an eye. Ned's a handsome fellow."
"And I've always looked on you as much the finer man, but then, you know, I'm not a fool."
"No, you're not. Thank you very much for the compliment, Miss Marsden. But whether I'm goodlooking or
not won't advance my case, I'm afraid. Do you think now I've the ghost of a chance beside Ned?"
She hesitated. She did think so much of him, might she not be making the wish father to the thought when
she said he had not a chance beside his cousin?
"You don't wish to hurt me," he said, bitterly.
"No," she said, earnestly, "indeed I don't. How can I tell? I really can't be certain. I've seen Nancy carrying on
so often before, you know. She always has had lots of admirers ever since she was a little girl, and you
well, you always give way to Mr Kirkham. Perhaps it would be different if if "
"If I pushed a little. No, it wouldn't. Not a bit of it. I only go in the background because I'm sent there."
Phoebe winced. He only walked with her because he couldn't get her sister, but she had decided before to
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make the best of that.
"I never can be certain of Nan," she said. "You I'm so sorry."
"Thank you again, Miss Marsden. I'm sure I ought not to growl when being driven from my lady love's side
gives me you to sympathise with me and soothe my ruffled plumes."
"Do I sympathise well?"
"Very nicely indeed. I want no kinder sympathy."
She held out her hand.
"Then we will be friends. I am sorry, I am indeed. But after all another person's sympathy in a thing like this
never does much good, does it?"
He took the outstretched hand and held it in both his for a moment.
"Doesn't it? How do you know anything about it? You never got awfully gone on a fellow who never seemed
aware of the fact."
She drew her hand hastily away, and the colour mounted to her forehead.
"By Jove!" thought Morrison. "Have I hit the right nail on the head by accident? Well, she'd make a jolly
good wife. What a swab the beggar must be not to see it."
"It's very good of you to sympathise with me, Miss Marsden," he said, aloud. "Yes, I think it counts for a
good deal to have a friend you can trust, especially if that friend is a woman. Will you do me a kindness now?
I'm going right away into the back blocks, where I shan't see a decent woman for the Lord knows how long.
Will you write to me sometimes arid tell me how things are getting on?"
"Yes, I will," she said, "if you like. But wouldn't you rather Nancy wrote?"
He winced.
"I can't help it," he said in a low tone, almost as if he were speaking to himself, "I do care a a " he
could find no adjective strong enough for him, "lot for her, but but it's not the least good in the world. I
couldn't trust her to write me a line. She'd promise, I daresay, bless her, but she'd forget all about it in a week.
Now, I wonder why," he went on, argumentatively, "a beggar should be such a fool as to give a second
thought to a girl whom he feels he couldn't trust to write to him, even if she promised," and he laughed a little
bitterly.
"Every man, and woman too, for that matter, is a fool when he's in love," she said. "At least, I don't know;
don't let us talk about it. I'll write to you regularly, I promise you that faithfully, and tell you all the news.
Can you trust me?"
"With my life," he said, laughing. He was beginning to wonder what she would think of him and to wish he
had not spoken quite so freely, and yet it was a comfort to think he would have that letter, and he felt she
would keep her promise. She was a nice girl, a downright good girl. He could not understand that swab,
surely if she cared for a man he must return it. She was quite goodlooking enough to win any man she cared
about, those eyes of hers were so sweet and sympathetic so different from her sister's laughing ones. If
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only she would look at him like that if only she would. But no with his cousin in the way there was no
hope of that, and now he had allowed this girl to guess his secret, and she evidently took almost as hopeless a
view of the case as he did himself. Still he felt a little comforted. She would keep her word he felt sure, and
he would not be quite cut off from the only household in the world he took much interest in.
They walked on in silence. He was a tall man, but she did not look short beside him, and when she held
herself upright, Phoebe walked well.
"Miss Marsden," he began, hesitatingly, "I don't quite know how to thank you. You don't know what a lonely
man I am. Ned, there, is the nearest relative I have in the world. He's got an adoring mother and an array of
sisters who think there's no one like him anywhere, but I'm quite alone. There isn't a creature who cares
whether I live or die."
"Oh, hush, hush," she said, "you know, you know, that can't be true. Why, your aunt and cousins "
"My aunt and cousins," he laughed a little scornfully, "they look on me as the cruel tempter who enticed their
darling away from his happy home where he might have been monotonously comfortable all the days of his
life, and have exposed him to all sorts of unknown dangers. No, my aunt and cousins haven't any room in
their affections for me."
"Why, how cruel! how "
"No, after all, don't pity me. I really don't think I mind. They have lived in a quiet English village up among
the Cumberland hills all their lives, and they're deuced slow I think. We haven't two ideas in common."
"Then what are you grumbling at?" asked Phoebe, with a smile.
He laughed, too, a little.
"It does sound rather inconsistent, doesn't it, but it isn't, really. I think when a man gets to my age, he begins
to want a home of his own and some one to love him just for himself."
"I hope you will get that home, and as for the some one to love you, why "
"The one I want is out of reach. Is that what you think?"
"Yes, I do," she said, honestly, "just at present. But really there's no placing much reliance on Nancy. She
might be quite different when you come back."
"She'll probably be married to some other fellow, if I know anything about girls. Now I wonder why," he
went on, "I want her so much. I believe she wouldn't make half as good a wife as you."
Phoebe flushed angrily. He had no right to talk thus lightly of her.
"I " she began coldly, but he had seen his mistake.
"I beg your pardon," he said. "Come now, Miss Marsden, I didn't mean to be rude. I only meant to remark on
the cussed contrariness of things. Now, if you'd only fallen in love with me and I'd fallen in love with you,
how well we'd have suited each other. But here we go flying off at tangents. I'm making a fool of myself over
a little girl who doesn't condescend to remember my existence, and you well, I suppose when I come back
I shall find you married to some chap who won't suit you half as well as I should."
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"No," she said, "no," and the flush deepened painfully, "there's not the smallest chance of my getting
married."
A big log lay invitingly across their path, and a great clump of dark green titree shaded it from the sun's
rays. He caught her by the arm and pushed her down on to it, and flung himself on to the driedup yellow
grass at her feet.
"Stay a little," he begged, "it's early yet, and I never get a chance of talking to you, and goodness knows when
I shall have a chance again. There's a charm about you to a happygolucky fellow like me. You are so quiet
and strong one feels rested by your very presence."
"Do you?" She looked down at him out of her deep dark eyes, and then because she was a little shy and
uncomfortable began hastily to unfold to him her halfformed plans for the future. And he lay there plucking
up handfuls of dry grass and throwing them into little heaps and listened with interest. She hesitated at first,
but his approval lent her confidence, and when she had finished he caught her by both hands and held them
fast.
"You are a plucky girl, upon my soul you are. I hope you'll succeed and I believe you will. Only go slowly,
easy does it, you know."
"I don't know," she said. "Is that the way you do it yourself?"
"Me? Bless you, it's always neck or nothing with me."
"But this gold mine this "
"It's only a venture, my dear girl, that's all. If it turns up trumps, I make my fortune, and if it don't well, I
go under like many a better fellow before me."
"You mustn't go under," she said, gravely. "What should I do if my friend did that?"
He held her hands tighter and looked up into her blushing face.
"Thank you, Miss Marsden, thank you. You are giving me something to take away with me. You don't know
what it will be to think of your goodness when I'm miles away from any woman."
"And Nancy?" she asked.
"And Nancy, of course. Hang it all, do you think I'd think of her if I could help myself. But you you are
different. Keep a corner in your heart warm for the poor chap away in the back blocks, Miss Phoebe."
Phoebe hardly knew what to say. Why was she talked to like this when he was so manifestly and openly in
love with her sister.
"I'll not forget you," she said, gravely, "if that's what you mean. If I do succeed it is you who have given me
the first encouragement I ever had in my life. All the others seem to think I'm hopelessly plain and stupid and
fit for nothing but to be a household drudge all the days of my life."
"Nonsense. Never you let any one make you believe that again. And when you do arrive at that cosy little
farm don't forget to ask a poor bushman to take a seat at your fireside."
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"Take care the millionaire doesn't look down on it," she laughed, and then she rose up with a sigh. She had
spent an hour in which keenest pleasure and pain had mingled, and yet the pleasure was so intense she was
loth to go back to the ordinary humdrum existence which was hers. "I must go," she said. "They'll be
wondering what has become of me."
"Let them wonder."
But she shook her head.
Reluctantly he scrambled to his feet.
"Look here, I'm not going for a fortnight. We must have some more chats, eh?"
Phoebe looked down debating with herself. She did love this man, there was no doubt about it in her own
mind, and to see him so often would only make the inevitable parting more bitter. Still he had been kind, and
how could she say him nay when her own heart pleaded so for him.
She raised her eyes to his face.
"There is next Sunday," she said, feeling what years lay in those seven days, and more than half hoping he
would want an earlier meeting, but he accepted the offer cheerfully.
"And the Sunday after, thank you so much. We'll walk home from church together then, that's a bargain. I'd
like to see Miss Nancy, of course, but hang it all, the less I see of her, I guess, the better."
Phoebe said nothing, and he twisted a long blade of dry grass in his restless fingers. If she was not happy,
neither was he, and he was remembering his unhappiness at this moment and she was just nothing to him.
"Goodbye, Miss Marsden, then, till next Sunday if we haven't the good luck to meet before."
"Goodbye."
He turned away without even looking at her, and she watched him a moment as he made his way among the
trees and scrub, then when his tweed suit had disappeared among the tree trunks, she turned reluctantly
homewards, not quite sure in her own mind whether she were not ten times more miserable than she had been
before church.
CHAPTER IV. A DISREGARDED WARNING.
What see you there
That hath so cowarded and chased your blood
Out of appearance?
SHAKESPEARE.
"Mine make a light. Plenty blackfellow sit down along a creek my word!"
"You just get along move off now move, I say."
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Ned Kirkham was busy with the fryingpan cooking the evening meal, and inclined to be contemptuous of
black gins in general, and this persistent black gin in particular. He had only been up north, had only joined
Morrison on Baker's Creek in the Boolcunda country a week before, and was fixed in his determination to
keep the blacks at a distance. Allan Morrison had gone ahead with another man to build their hut and peg out
their claim, while his cousin had stopped a little longer in Port Darwin to arrange about the getting of their
stores and to get another man to help them in their digging. Whether they were to make their fortunes or not
still remained to be decided. The gold mine which was to do it was before his eyes now a heap of yellow
earth alongside a windlass which stood over the shaft. A creek, which was now merely a chain of
waterholes, flowed, or rather would flow after rain, at the bottom of the slope about two hundred yards
away, and just a little to the right was the hut, a slab affair with a bark roof, which at present was the only
sign of civilisation within a radius of many miles. Just here there was a small clearing, partly natural, partly
the result of Allan Morrison's labours, but the dense scrub was all round them and closed them in on every
side. It was brigalow, fresh, green, and sweetsmelling to an Australian, but to the Englishman, with the
vivid, living green of his own country still fresh in his memory, dull, grey, and dreary in the extreme. Down
in the creek the reeds grew tall and thick and were pleasant to look upon, but Jim Tretherick, the man
Kirkham had brought up with him from Port Darwin, had shaken his head over those same reeds, and had
ventured to hint to his boss that they made good cover for the blacks. Morrison received the warning with
scorn.
Kirkham only objected to the blacks because, like the naval officer of the old story, he considered that
"Manners none, and customs beastly," just about described them. More particularly did he object to this
particular black gin who was at the present moment persecuting him with her unwelcome attentions. His
cousin did not sympathise with him.
"Hang it all, Ned," he said, "what the dickens do you expect? You aren't looking out for an invitation to
dinner, are you, with your host in a claw hammer and a flower in his buttonhole, because if you are I'm
afraid you'll be disappointed. The bucks have brought us in fish and wild duck, and they've tracked our horses
when they strayed, and now Webb's down with fever here's Polly cooking and making herself useful in the
most charming manner."
Kirkham did not seem impressed, and his cousin went on
"It's most important, you see, Ned, that no one gets wind of this field before we get all we want out of it. You
think it's out of the world, but bless you, just let them hear in Roebourne or Port Darwin that we are in for a
good thing and half the population will be here like a shot. You see it's only two hundred and fifty miles from
Port Darwin, and before two months were out there would be a big rush from Victoria. There are a certain set
of men there who are always on the lookout for a new gold field and don't care a cuss if they have to come
half round Australia to find it. So we'll just keep quiet till we've got all we want. As for the blacks pooh! I
don't believe there are ten bucks about, and the gins are quite useful, as I said before. Look at Polly there."
Kirkham did look at Polly leisurely running her dirty black forefinger round the edge of the fryingpan and
licking the grease off, and was utterly disgusted. Next day she was deposed from her high estate, and he
himself undertook the cooking. Robert Webb was hut keeper, and that duty should properly have fallen to his
share, but he was down with fever and so ill it was imperatively necessary some one should look after him,
and Kirkham, being given his choice, had preferred it to labouring at the bottom of a shaft which had now
reached a depth of nearly sixty feet. Tretherick and Morrison were below and at certain intervals he was
expected to wind up the windlass and empty out the bucket which they sent up. The ground was very hard
and they worked so slowly that he had plenty of time for everything; but he had been at it all day long and by
evening was utterly disgusted and tired out. Work he was not afraid of, but this the romance of
golddigging was gone for ever, and he would need to make thousands out of that claim to make up for this
sacrifice of life for even a month or two. A thousand times better was the cockatoo farm up in the ranges
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round Ballarat and the chance of seeing pretty Nancy Marsden at least once a week. This this was exile
indeed. The heat was stifling, and though the sun was on the point of setting, his level rays seemed to have
lost none of their power and, hemmed in as the camp was by the thick brigalow scrub, not a breath of air
stirred. Kirkham would gladly have dispensed with the fire, but the black woman, after the manner of her
kind, crouched down over the glowing embers as if it had been bitter cold. Her presence irritated him and he
shook the fryingpan viciously. Polly, seeing him look at her, started off again in the blackfellows' lingo,
which to him was unintelligible.
"Bungally you. My word! Mine make a light plenty blackfellow along a creek." By which she meant that he,
Kirkham, was very stupid, and that she could see plenty of blackfellow down by the creek.
"Hallo, boss," called Webb from the hut. "What the dickens is all this bobbery about?"
"Baal bobbery," said Polly. "You quamby here plenty myall got 'em nullanulla, plenty white fellow
tumble down."
Webb crawled to the door and leaned against the rough wall. The spell of fever and ague had passed and left
him, weak and ill, it is true, but still well enough to take an interest in passing events.
"What on earth does she mean?" asked Kirkham.
"What she's saying is that there are plenty of blackfellows down by the creek, and that if we stop here they've
got plenty of nullanullas, and they'll use them on us. Will they, old girl? This fellow got 'em plenty gun,
myall quamby here plenty myall tumble down."
"You pull along a station plenty quick," suggested Polly with cheerful earnestness, unheeding his threat, and
Webb laughed again.
Then there came a shout from the men below, and Kirkham drew first one and then the other up to daylight
again.
"Phew," said Morrison, stretching himself, "it's as hot as blazes. How's the tea, Ned? I could eat a bullock.
Hallo, Webb, are you better?"
"Pretty well, boss, for the time; but I can't shake the darned thing off; it'll be as bad as ever tomorrow. And
here's Polly saying the blackfellows are coming to wipe us out."
"Are they? by Jingo! I like that! Four of us too! Well, I like their cheek!"
"Then you don't really think there's any danger?" asked Kirkham, as he bent over the fire, trying with small
success to fix the billy upright.
"Danger! Pooh! Here, man, let me do it what a duffer you are! It's easy to see you aren't accustomed to a
bush life. Danger? I should just think not. Why, I haven't seen ten bucks and perhaps twice as many gins and
pickaninnies all the while I've been here, and what could they do against us? One man with a gun's quite
enough to settle fifty such miserable creatures, and there are four of us. Wipe us out? They know better. Here,
Polly, what's the matter with you, old girl? Has the old man been giving you a taste of his waddy again?"
"White fellow pull along a station," advised Polly, gutturally.
"You pull away along a humpy, and make it up as quick as you can. Here's a bit of baccy for you, poor old
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girl. Now then, off with you, and make it up with the old man."
The black woman walked off in the direction of the creek, and Morrison turned to his cousin.
"Don't you be afraid, old chap. It's only a little matrimonial disturbance. Polly's lord and master has probably
been overlooking her charms, and bestowing his favours on a younger and fairer wife, and the neglected one,
by way of revenge, wants to bring us down on him. Oh, I know their ways. There's not the slightest danger, is
there, Webb?"
"No, no. I've been up north five years, and not had a brush with the blacks yet. No such luck."
"Still, sir," said Tretherick, "the women often do give warning. I remember up at Ingle's if it hadn't been for a
black gin named Lizzie "
"You'd all have been murdered in your sleep. Oh, yes, I know; but then Ingle was a brute, and did treat the
blacks shamefully. We've always been on the friendliest terms with them."
"Well, I'll keep my revolver handy, and see that the rifles are loaded," said Tretherick.
"Oh, well, there's no harm in being on the safe side," said Morrison; but it was very evident to Kirkham that
the incident had made no impression on him whatever, and he himself felt reassured. His cousin was
Australian born, and save for that brief spell of cockatoo farming down in the south when he had met the
Marsdens, had been in the north for many years.
Nevertheless, Tretherick refused to sleep outside under the verandah as he usually did, and Kirkham followed
his example. Morrison laughed at their fears.
"Polly's done me one good turn," he said, "if it's only frightening you two inside. I don't want any more of
you laid up with fever and ague, and sleeping outside is just the way to get it."
"But you sleep outside yourself," remonstrated the new chum.
"Only when I can't help it, man, only when I can't help it. Sleep under a roof when you can get it, even if
you're nearly stifled, that's my tip for this part of this world. If Webb had only taken my advice, he wouldn't
have been ill now."
It was certainly hot and stifling in the little hut, and Tretherick enlivened things by lugubrious stories of cruel
outrages committed by the myall blacks till Kirkham heard stealthy footsteps all round the hut, and saw
dusky forms in every dark corner. He was not a nervous man, but the Cornishman's tales were very ghastly,
and the black gin had evidently been very much in earnest. One by one the other three went to sleep, and he
did not like to acknowledge his fear. If these men bushmen and accustomed to the country, could sleep
peacefully, why not he? and yet he could not. He kept speculating calculating how easy a thing it would
be to compass their death. To begin with, the blacks might spear the horses, which were hobbled and then
turned loose to find pasture for themselves. What was to prevent them from doing that at any hour of the day
or night? Nothing, certainly nothing, he answered himself, according to Tretherick it was just the very thing
they would do. And then well, they were eighty miles from the nearest station and and yet those
three men were peacefully slumbering round him. He got up and looked out of the door the landscape lay
calm and quiet before him in the moonlight. The moon was almost at full a brilliant tropical moon, and it
was light nearly as day. There was the claim which was to bring them untold wealth, the windlass, the
buckets, the picks, and shovels, just as the men had thrown them down when they left work the evening
before. The shadows were deep and dark, and he almost shouted aloud when he saw something move on the
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edge of the scrub. The next moment he was thankful he had not, for he recognised one of the horses, his own
grey mare moving slowly down towards the reed beds which fringed the creek. He shook himself together
then. and clambered back into his bunk, glad that no one else had seen him. Of course he said to himself,
there was no cause for fear, and yet at the same time he decided to stay awake till dawn, when he had heard
the blacks always attacked, in order to be quite sure. Having come to which satisfactory conclusion, he turned
over on his side to rest more comfortably, and remembered no more till he found himself being violently
shaken by the shoulders.
"What? Where? The blacks?" he asked, springing to his feet.
"The myalls? No, hang it all, man, haven't you got over that yet? Come on, old chap, lend a hand with
breakfast, will you? We're bound to get up early when it's so hot, and then we can take a spell in the middle
of the day."
The day passed on dully, so hot and still that Kirkham felt it a labour even to go down to the creek for water,
a thing he had to do pretty often, for the household utensils of the party were extremely scanty. By noon he
had entirely forgotten his fright of the night before, and in the afternoon he took a turn at digging, an
occupation which so wearied him that by nightfall he was only too thankful to turn into his bunk and sleep
the sleep of the just, forgetful alike of the heat and of the dangers which he fancied menaced them. He was
awakened by some one moving about the hut, and sat up rubbing his eyes.
"Hallo," he said. "What's the matter?"
"Only me, boss," came back Webb's voice out of the dusk. "I've got the fever on me again that bad, and I'm
that thirsty I had to get up for a drink."
"All right," said Kirkham, "there's some water in the bucket in the corner, and I left a pannikin on the table."
"I'm afraid, boss," said the man, ruefully, "I've knocked it over and spilt it all. There ain't a drop left. I'll go
down to the creek."
"Nonsense, man, I'll go. Get back to bed."
It was getting light outside, getting light with a rapidity only known to the tropics, and Kirkham, as he stood
in the doorway, watched for a moment the lines of gold and red growing brighter and brighter in the eastern
sky. It was dark when he had awakened, and yet in another few minutes the sun would be up. The birds in the
brigalow scrub were beginning to twitter, from the far distance he heard a bellbird tolling like some solemn
musical church bell, and over his head flew a flight of wild swans crying mournfully as they bent their way
southward. It was such a still morning; not a leaf stirred, only his grey mare down by the reed beds was
raising her nose in the air and sniffing curiously. The reeds, too, were strangely agitated, waving about as if a
strong current of air were forcing its way through them. But there was no wind, and Kirkham idly noted the
fact, and as idly wondered what it could be. They were tall reeds six feet high at the very least. Far away
in England he had watched just such another effect when his terrier had forced her way through the green
corn. This must be something bigger than a dog though the horses, perhaps, or the black gin's warning
flashed across him as he stepped out of the shelter of the hut perhaps it was the myalls! Surely that was
just the way they would come. He stepped back, and then stepped forward again. What a fool his mates
would think him! These Australians would laugh at him for a coward, and besides, whatever happened they
must have water. Another step forward with his eyes still on the waving reeds. He hardly liked to waken up
the others just to see what after all might be a common occurrence. For all he knew to the contrary Australian
reeds might be in the habit of waving and shaking like that even without a wind, and he knew very well that if
it had not been for Tretherick's stories he never would have noticed it at all, and by this time would have been
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down at the creek filling his bucket at the waterhole. After all, too, these bushmen ought to know best; they
said there was no fear, and
Out of the waving reeds came a flight of spears silent, swift, unerring directed not at him, but at the
poor horse, and the grey mare dropped forward on to her knees, and then fell over on to her side.
It is one thing to imagine a danger, it is another to have one's worst fears confirmed, and for a moment
Kirkham stood rooted to the spot. The next he was back in the hut.
"Allan, Tretherick, Webb, wake up. For God's sake, wake up! The blackfellows are swarming in the reeds!
Quick, mates, quick!"
Allan Morrison sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily.
"Confound you, Ned," he said, "you've got those myalls on the brain, I think."
"Hang it all, Allan," he cried, snatching up his rifle, "it's solemn earnest. I've just seen them spear old Jenny."
"What! The old grey mare! The devil they did!" Morrison was wide awake in a moment. "This'll never do.
The sooner we give them a lesson the better, and I thought they were all tame! There's no trusting these myall
blacks!"
"Nor any other that ever I heard tell of," growled Tretherick, peering out of that square hole that did duty as a
window; "give them a lesson! My word, boss, we'll be lucky if we come out of this with whole skins; the
reeds are just alive with them."
They were all on the alert now; even the sick man had left his bunk and taken up a rifle.
He was an old bushman, and thoroughly understood the situation.
"My God!" he said, looking at the empty bucket, "we're done for this time, and no mistake. The devils are
between us and the water."
"Don't funk, man, don't funk," said Morrison, who was a much younger man, besides being in good health;
"we'll soon settle a parcel of niggers like them."
"I see something," said Kirkham; "shall I fire?"
"No, bless you, no. Don't alarm 'em. Let's be sure they get a good dose while we're about it. We'll pot the
whole crowd as they come out into the open."
"We're pretty well off for ammunition, aren't we?" said Tretherick.
"Oh, yes, there are two cases of cartridges unopened there. Enough to see the whole tribe through. Now then,
boys, here they come. Pick your man, and let fly as soon as they get well out of the reeds."
The sun was up, and it was broad daylight now. Between the little hut and the reed beds was no shelter
whatever, and the short, crisp, dry grass was not above an inch or two long. Softly out of the sheltering reeds
stepped ten or twelve blackfellows, long, lean, lithe men, their bodies marked by way of ornament, with
ghastly white cicatrices which stood out clearly against their black skins. Three of the rifles rang out. One
man dropped like a stone, a tribute to Morrison's skill as a marksman, and the rest, with a wild cry, ran back
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into the reeds.
"One of those fellows at least is wounded, I'll bet," said Morrison.
"But, Ned, why the devil didn't you fire?"
"They were unarmed men. How "
"Unarmed be hanged! They were dragging their spears along with their toes that's their little game.
They're rather late, you see; they ought to have attacked a little earlier, when we'd have been sure to have
been sleeping. As it is, I dare say they thought we might be awake, and so were coming up friendly fashion
till they got within throwing distance."
"I thought you said yesterday "
"Hang yesterday! Never mind what I said yesterday. Today you pot any nigger that comes within range
whether he's armed or not. They're treacherous devils and not to be trusted."
"The boss has changed his tune mighty quick," muttered Tretherick to Webb. But the other man, ill as he was,
only leaned against the wall and sighed
"Oh, the water! the water! My God! what shall we do for the water?"
"Water! By Jove! that is serious!" cried Morrison. "Isn't there a drop? No. And those devils are between us
and the waterhole."
"We're done for now; I told you so," said Tretherick. "It's hot as blazes, and we can't hold out a day without
water."
"Now, man, where's the good of croaking. We must manage for the day, and tonight we can creep down
under cover of the darkness. The blacks never attack at night; they're afraid of a devil devil, or something of
that sort."
Kirkham said nothing. The blacks had all disappeared now, and the only sign of their presence was the
waving of the reeds. Provided they stopped there he could see but little chance of their lives, for the only
drinkable water for miles was in the midst of those reeds, and he felt sure the blackfellows, savages as they
were, would recognise their advantage, and, even if they did not attack at night, would take care to camp
round the waterhole. There were, of course, other waterholes, a regular chain of them in the bed of the
creek, but these were salt as the sea itself a not uncommon result of drought in Australia. All this Kirkham
knew and knew full well; if the others were silent it was because they understood their danger quite as well or
even better than he did. Webb was evidently very ill and rapidly growing worse. His thirst was distressing,
but he was patient, as men must needs be patient when their necessity is so dire. Morrison ordered him back
to his bunk after the first volley had been fired, and he lay there tossing and turning in the agonies of a fever
aggravated by a thirst which grew every moment more unbearable. Kirkham bent over him with some words
of unavailing sympathy.
"It ain't no good," said the sick man. "I can't bear it. The boss he talks cheerful enough, but he knows it's all
up a tree with us no man better. The horses is all sure to be speared, and the best thing you three can do is
to make tracks for McAlister's down the creek as soon as it's dark. It ain't no good trying for the waterhold,
that it ain't. The blacks won't attack at night, but they ain't such darned fools as to let us get at the water for all
that."
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"But it's eighty miles," remonstrated Kirkham. "You're not fit to undertake such a journey."
"Who? Me? Oh, I don't take no part in this performance."
"But we can't possibly leave you alone," said Kirkham, while the other men listened in silence. Webb was a
middleaged man, an old bushman, and his opinion on the situation was worth listening to.
"Leave me alone," he echoed. "Bless you, I'll have kicked the bucket by then, and I don't know as any of
you'll fetch McAlister's. You won't have twelve hours' start, and the blacks'll be after you like winkin'. You
ain't got no horses if they ain't all speared you ain't got no time to go alookin' for 'em and the blacks'll
travel just twice as quick as you. It's all up, boss; I'm mighty afeared it is. Oh, Lord! if I only had a drink!"
Morrison came over to him. Plucky as he was, it was quite evident even to him that his overconfidence had
got them into a scrape which was likely to cost them their lives. "Never fear," he said, cheerily; "we'll pull
through all right. You see."
But the sick man turned his face to the wall and answered him never a word.
CHAPTER V. FLIGHT.
Up from Earth's centre through the Seventh Gate
I rose and on the Throne of Saturn sate,
And many a Knot unravel'd by the Road,
But not that MasterKnot of Human Fate.
Earth could not answer; nor the Seas that mourn
In flowing purple of their Lord forlorn;
Nor rolling Heaven, with all his Signs reveal'd
And hidden by the sleeve of Night and Morn.
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.
It was weary work waiting. The minutes seem to stretch themselves into hours, and the hours into
interminable days. Not a breath of air stirred outside, the sun poured down his pitiless rays on a sweltering
earth from a cloudless sky, and the heat in the little hut was stifling. It was useless to try and eat, though they
had a plentiful supply of damper and salt beef left over from the night before, for their mouths were parched
with thirst. Towards noon the sick man became delirious, and babbled incessantly of cool shady waterholes
and running streams, and at last, getting up quietly, made a dash for the door. Kirkham, who had been
expecting something of the sort, was just in time to seize him, and he and Morrison strapped him down in his
bunk again while Tretherick still kept watch and ward at the door.
"Poor chap," said Morrison, quietly, to his cousin as he listened to his ravings. "I shan't be sorry when his
sufferings are over."
"The blacks are gone, surely. There's not a sign of them now. Shall I make a dash for it? A bucket of water
would make all the difference to us."
"Useless, old chap. You'd be speared before you got halfway to the reeds. The devils have the patience of
Job, and they know they've got us safe enough. If we had water we might hold out but without Webb's
suggestion is the only practicable one, and well even though we have twelve hours' start, you know how
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the beggars can track. I'm afraid there isn't much chance for us. I'm sorry, old chap, I'm awfully sorry, to have
got you into such a hole."
"It's not a bit worse for me than for you."
"Well, I don't know. There's not a soul to care whether Allan Morrison goes off the hooks or not, while you
There's your mother and sisters and Nancy Marsden what about Nancy Marsden?"
Kirkham turned away sharply.
"You know very well I mean it was a little rough on me, wasn't it, old man, never telling me you'd
settled it all? Of course I guessed, but you might have told me, seeing I was your mate."
"Told you what?"
"Why, of course you settled it that day?"
"What day?"
"Why, the last Sunday we went home with the Marsden girls."
"Yes, but " Ned Kirkham hesitated. These two men had never before discussed their relations with the two
girls they had been accustomed to see so often, and now that the subject was opened between them each felt
shy and strange. "Yes, but " said Kirkham, hesitating. "Hang it all, man, you know jolly well I care about
Nancy Marsden there's no good hiding the fact; but she she sometimes I thought she cared for me,
and sometimes well, I'd have sworn it was you."
"Rats!"
"Well, anyhow, she talked most to you that last evening at their house."
"Yes, but that was because her father was there, and she's always shy before him. He's an awful old
curmudgeon, you know, she's afraid to open her lips before him, and as you were silent I got a say in. But you
walked down to the gate together, and I thought I thought "
"You thought wrong, then," said Kirkham, though there was a dawning gladness in his heart which he dashed
aside in a moment. What was the good of it all? Even if she did care it was too late now.
"You mean to say you're not engaged to her?"
"No."
"Well, I'm blessed. You are a fool. Any one "
"How do you know she cared about me?"
"Haven't I eyes? Besides, her sister told me."
"Phoebe?"
"Yes. Why, I made sure you'd jumped at the chance."
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"But there what's the good of talking? We're pretty well done for now. But I know that girl cared for you.
I've been lost in wonder that you didn't take me into your confidence. Well, if you cared a straw for her you
have made a mess of it."
He sighed and, turning away, suggested to Tretherick that since their only hope lay in getting away under
cover of the darkness they should take it in turns to watch, so that two at least might sleep. Morrison took the
first watch, then Tretherick, then Kirkham, the others lying down in their bunks with their loaded rifles beside
them, ready to spring up at the first alarm.
It was doubtful if any of them slept Kirkham certainly did not. To begin with, his thirst was overpowering,
the heat was terrible, he had lived for the last week almost entirely on salt provisions, and he had had nothing
to drink since the night before. Poor Webb was raving like a lunatic now in his bunk just opposite, and if
there had been nothing else that alone would have prevented his sleeping. He lay on his back and stared up at
the unceiled bark roof, and wondered vaguely if they would ever get out of this. Three young, strong,
wellarmed men, it seemed strange they should be killed like rats in a hole by a parcel of naked blackfellows
armed only with spears; and yet these bushmen seemed to have given up hope, and they knew better than he
did. He watched a string of black ants diligently making their way up the wall, and wondered vaguely if they
had a nest in the roof, and if so, what they would do when the hut was burnt, as it assuredly would be. A
month ago he had been away in Victoria, and now he was lying here waiting for death, suffering agonies of
thirst, and wondering how long he had to live. Would Nancy Marsden give him one thought? Was it true, as
Allan had said, that he was the favoured one after all. Had she cared for him? If so, what must she have
thought of his conduct? He had showed her plainly how much he cared, and then he had gone away and left
her without one word, ready almost to believe she was engaged to his cousin. The string of ants came to a
knot in the wood, and he let his attention wander just one moment to wonder whether they would go round or
crawl over it. They were going straight over it plucky little ants. And after all he might have won her, and
yet he had gone away and left her without one word fool! fool! fool!
His turn came to watch, and he stood in the doorway looking out, his eyes on the reeds and the brigalow
scrub, and his thoughts away down south, going over and over again every moment of that last interview with
the woman he loved.
"And so you are really going?" she had said. "It will be nice for Mr Morrison to have you to look after him in
such a terrible country." And there had been a tender little quiver in her voice which he had not failed to
notice and had been inclined to set down to Allan's score. Then there arose in his breast for a moment a bitter
feeling against his cousin. Why had he let him come? He must have known that, had he been sure of Nancy
Marsden, not all the wealth of all the Australias would have tempted him to come north. A cockatoo farm
with her would have been good enough for him. Yet here he was, and the chances were as ten to one against
his being alive twentyfour hours hence. Only for a moment, though, and then he thought pitifully of Allan
Morrison, the goodtempered, kindhearted fellow who even now, in the hour of danger, could look cheerily
on the bright side of things and Webb surely things were going hardly with poor Webb. His ravings
had subsided to low muttering during the last few minutes, and now had ceased altogether. Kirkham turned,
anxiously debating whether he shouldn't call one of the others to look to him, when to his astonishment he
saw he had freed himself from the straps and was sitting up on the edge of his bunk.
"Allan," called Kirkham, and Morrison was on his feet in a moment, but Webb was too quick for them. With
one spring he reached the doorway, dashed Kirkham aside, and before either of the others could stop him,
rushed down the slope towards the reedbeds.
"Now," cried Morrison, as all three rushed outside, "God help him, for it's all over," and, indeed, as with one
accord the reeds parted in at least a dozen places, and out came a flight of spears flung by invisible hands. It
seemed to the onlookers the greater number must have transfixed the unfortunate man, but though he gave
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one loud cry, he staggered on and fell forward on his face not ten yards away from the reeds, out of which
came another flight of spears accompanied by a yell which seemed to be echoed from behind the hut.
Though it all passed in a moment, the onlookers with one accord fired a volley, in the vain hope that some
bullet might by chance find its billet.
"There goes the first of us," said Tretherick, "how long for the rest, I wonder?"
"He mayn't be dead," said Kirkham, eagerly. "Can't we rescue him?"
"He's dead enough, poor chap," sighed Morrison, "and I don't know whether to be glad or sorry he settled it
that way. Poor Webb, he was a jolly good mate. He and I have worked together oh, ever since I came into
the bush."
"I'm thinkin' ye won't be long parted," said Tretherick. "We may as well make a bolt for it tonight, boss."
"Yes, as soon as it's dark. We haven't above two hours to wait."
No one lay down again, it seemed impossible to rest, and Morrison and Tretherick began making preparations
for departure, filling their belts with cartridges and doing up little parcels of salt beef and damper.
"We mustn't overload ourselves," said Morrison. "Everything depends on speed, but about ten miles down I
think we're pretty sure to find water, and then something to eat will buck us up a bit."
Kirkham stood still in the doorway; the dead man lay right before him. Their own chance of life was but
small, and yet listening to the other two making their preparations for departure it seemed to him utterly
impossible they could be so certain of their dying as their talk seemed to imply. One moment Morrison spoke
of the food that was to sustain them, and the next he was asking Tretherick whether he though it would be
any good them leaving behind in the hut any record of what had befallen them.
"They'll burn the hut, certain sure," said the man. "They allus do."
"We could bury it. McAlister's sure to be here some time next week, and if we are to be wiped out in the
scrub it would be a comfort to know somebody knew all about it."
"The devils'd have it up quicker'n he would. I guess the burnt hut'll tell tale enough for old McAlister."
"Yes. Well, I'm sure nobody cares much whether I live or die, expect, perhaps, the storekeeper at Port
Darwin. I believe I still owe him fifty pounds on the outfit, but you, Tretherick, you've got a wife there."
"She was a bad lot, boss. She got all my savings out of me, and then bolted with another chap. I guess I won't
bother about her." Morrison sat down at the rough table, and as briefly as possible wrote out a statement of
the calamity that had befallen them, and then, dating it and signing his name, he put the slip of paper into a
small silver box he had used as a tobacco pouch; then he took Kirkham's place.
"Write a line to your mother, old chap," he said. "I'm afraid the chances are against her getting it, but still she
might, and there's no knowing whether we'll get through the scrub. Say how sorry I am to have got you into
this scrape."
Kirkham sat down and took paper and pen in his hand, but his letter was brief almost cold it seemed to
him as he read it over with a full heart. They were very dear to him the widowed mother who had loved
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her firstborn, her only son, so tenderly, the brightfaced sisters whom he had petted, and who had petted
him ever since they were babies together so dear that no mere words could have expressed the love and
tenderness he felt. The tears rushed to his eyes as he thought of his mother reading this brief letter.
"Have you nearly done, Ned?" asked Allan, from the doorway, "because you know we must bury it."
He brushed his hand across his eyes.
"All right," he said, "another moment," and he took up another sheet of paper. All that his cousin had said
about Nancy Marsden came back to him, all the love he had been crushing down and repressing for the last
month welled up afresh in his heart. If he were dying and she had cared ever so little, then surely he might
send a message.
"My darling," he wrote, "my darling, for you are my darling though I never dared to tell you so, I am dying.
We are all as good as dead, they say, but I cannot die without making one effort to tell you how much I love
you. If I had only told you before, would there have been a chance for me, I wonder. Goodbye, my darling.
God bless you, Nancy. Goodbye."
Then he signed his name, and folding up the letter addressed it and put it in the box with the other two.
"Dig a hole," suggested Morrison, the hut, of course, had no flooring save the bare earth, "put it in, and walk
backwards and forwards to destroy all traces. It's just worth trying, and that's about all. And, Tretherick, cut a
good big 'Dig' on the slabs with your knife, will you? If the place isn't burnt, they'll know we've hidden
something."
"No fear of the old shanty not being burnt," said Tretherick, but nevertheless he cut a big 'Dig' on the wall
right opposite the door.
"Now," he said, "we're about ready. I'm pretty near done for want of a drink. Webb warn't so badly off after
all. He died quick like. How long, boss, before we can start?"
"Not for an hour at least," said Morrison, "and then it'll be bright moonlight, but By Jove! Look out! Here
they come."
Some of the blackfellows had sneaked round to the brigalow scrub at the back of the hut, and now, dashing
out, tried to take the inmates unawares, but Morrison was too quick for them. He took steady aim and shot the
leader half way across the bare space, and the rest skulked back into the scrub again before either Kirkham or
Tretherick had time to fire.
"That's two to one of us," said Morrison, grimly; "but the account's not square yet."
"The balance is goin' to be on the other side this trip, I'm afeard," said Tretherick.
"Oh, you be blowed! Wait till McAlister raises the country and fetches down the native police."
"But we won't see that unfort'nately," said Tretherick, and then they were all silent again.
That waiting for the night seemed to Kirkham very terrible, it was like waiting for death itself. Slowly the
sunk sank in the west slowly slowly. They watched it touch the tops of the distant blue hills, then sink
behind them, and darkness fell upon the land.
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Allan Morrison touched his cousin's shoulder.
"Now, lad," he said, "now's our time. The moon'll be up in less than an hour, and though they say the blacks
don't attack by night, still I wouldn't give much for our chances if they saw us trying to steal away from under
their very noses. Now then, Tretherick, are you ready. We'll strike through the brigalow scrub and come out
on the creek below the first bend."
"What about Webb?"
"He's dead, I know. Still, we won't leave him if there's a chance of life; I'll just steal down and see."
"I "
"No, Ned better let me go. I'm more accustomed to this sort of thing than you are." And as if to put an end to
further remonstrance he stole off through the darkness.
It seemed to the two waiting men an age before he was back again, but he came at last, quietly as he had
gone.
"Stone dead, poor chap," he said. "I knew it. We can't do anything for him. Come along, mates, the sooner
we're off the better. Now we must keep close."
It required a good deal of courage, Kirkham found, to walk across that open space in the darkness; every
shadow seemed to him a lurking foe, and once in the thick, dense scrub, every snapping twig and breaking
branch was a fresh danger. If they had been followed in scrub like this their doom was sealed. He kept his
feelings to himself as long as he could, but at last he spoke to his cousin.
"Are you sure," he said, "there's no one behind?"
"Not yet, old man, but there will be tomorrow a hundred."
"And we're making a path like a high road."
"That won't make much difference. They'd track us, I verily believe, across the bare rock. There never were
such trackers as the Australian blacks."
Had he been by himself Kirkham knew he would have been utterly lost the moment he entered the scrub, but
Tretherick, who led the way, went steadily on, guided it seemed by a sort of instinct, for it was pitch dark and
hardly a star was visible through the intervening leaves. It was twentyfour hours now since they had had any
water, and the hard walking distressed them terribly. Half the night seemed to have passed before they found
themselves clear of the scrub and on the banks of the creek again. The moon was just rising over the trees,
and her beams turned the big waterhole at their feet into a veritable shield of silver.
"That's the waterhole, sure enough," said Morrison. "Well done, Tretherick; I don't think we could have
come straighter. Thank God for a drink."
They spelled there for a few minutes to bathe their faces and hands in the cool water, and to eat the first meal
they had had that day. It put new life into them, and they went on refreshed both in body and mind.
"We'll find plenty of water all the way," said Morrison, "McAlister told me last time I saw him that he was
pretty sure now that this creek was permanent; even when it doesn't run there are the waterholes, good fresh
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drinkable water, never less than ten miles apart."
Then they moved on again, keeping along the banks of the creek. Kirkham had all sorts of wild notions for
throwing the blackfellows off the scent, but his cousin only shook his head, and assured him it would take
them much longer to put them into practice than it would for the blacks to find them out.
"No, our only chance is to go steadily on. They're bound to follow us, they're bound to catch us up, but then
well they may not attack us. It's a poor hope, but they're uncertain sort of devils, and I have heard of them
following a man for days and never touching him."
The country was fairly clear of scrub and undergrowth, and along the bank of the creek the walking was not
difficult save that to walk at all is always a hardship to an Australian who is unaccustomed to it. To the
Englishman it came easiest, and even Tretherick, who had been nearly ten years in the colony, managed very
well, but Morrison began to complain of being footsore before half the night was over.
"I'll never do it, I'm afraid, Ned," he said. "How you can walk, and on a hot night like this too!"
It was a hot night a still, breathless night. The white trunks of the tall gum trees stood out ghostlike and
ghastly, and the long narrow leaves gleamed silvery in the light that was as bright as day, but the shadows
were dark and dismal, and from the depth of the forest came every now and then the sound of a breaking
branch or the cry of some night bird with startling distinctness. Towards morning they stopped and bathed in
a waterhole, snatched a hasty meal from their scanty provisions, and went on again refreshed. An hour or
two later, when the sun had risen with all the promise of another pitiless hot day, it began to be evident they
must rest if they would ever reach the end of their journey at all, and they lay down beneath the scanty shade
afforded by a lightwood tree.
"We've done about thirty miles," sighed Morrison, "and we've got about fifty more to do. We'd better sleep
now we've the chance. We won't be able to once the blacks are after us."
"I'm about done," said Kirkham, "but I can't possibly sleep. I'd rather go on."
"Don't be a fool, old chap, you just try. Look at Tretherick." And, indeed, at the first suggestion of a halt
Tretherick had taken of his boots and flung himself down on the dry grass, pillowing his head on his arm, and
was now sleeping as calmly as if he were taking an afternoon nap on a summer's day in faraway England.
Morrison followed his example, and Kirkham lay down beside him grasping his rifle and staring up at the
deep blue sky that peeped between the leaves. Such a faraway sky, such a beautiful sky, such a cruel hot
sky, with never a cloud to break the monotony. It was ridiculous to think he could sleep with such danger
impending, with those blue eyes of the sky's looking down on him a hundred eyes the sky had peering
through those branches. Nancy Marsden's eyes were as blue but not so hard tender, loving, sweet. What
was she doing now? The difference in time was was . And trying to calculate the difference in time his
natural weariness overcame him, and he too slept, slept so heavily that he did not waken till Morrison laid his
hand on his shoulder and brought him to his feet with a start.
"What where ?"
"All right, old chap. I though you couldn't sleep. It's nearly eleven o'clock, and we've no time to lose. Come
on."
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CHAPTER VI. FACING DEATH.
So when the Angel of the darker Drink
At last shall find you by the river brink,
And, offering his Cup, invite your Soul
Forth to your lips to quaff you shall not shrink.
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.
It was harder work walking now than it had been during the night and early morning, and even Kirkham,
refreshed as he was by his heavy sleep, began to feel that the labour was telling on him. The ground was
rough, large stones and rocks impeded them at every turn, and though the country was only lightly timbered,
yet there was no track, and they had to make their way between clumps of titree, brigalow, and lighter scrub
of all descriptions. Sometimes they scrambled down into the bed of the creek to reach the waterholes, but
once their canvas waterbottles were full they did this as seldom as possible, for though the water was
tempting, still their lives depended on their pushing on. Their provisions, too, were getting low, for since they
had to carry everything, they had brought as little as possible.
"Never mind," said Morrison, cutting them each a slice off their last piece of damper, "we must have done
pretty nearly fifty miles by now, and each step we take brings us nearer safety. If we have to starve for a day,
it won't do us much harm while we have plenty of water."
"I think we're safe, Allan," said Kirkham, "it's nearly four o'clock, and I see no signs of our being followed."
"No, no; don't let's begin to holler till we're out of the bush. I shan't feel safe till tonight."
"But it's getting on that way now," said Kirkham, "and I see no signs of the blackfellows."
"Begging your pardon, sir," said Tretherick, "you don't know much about them blackfellows. They'd track
you down for days, and you wouldn't know anything about it. Just look at them patches of scrub, there might
be twenty blackfellows in 'm for all we know."
"Don't croak, Tretherick," said Allan Morrison, "it's no good imagining things."
"Is it possible?" asked Kirkham.
"More than possible. I'm afraid that's just what they will do. Better not walk too close together, makes too
good a target for the spears, you know; and yet don't get too far apart, in case we have to fight for it. I'm
afraid it's all up. I think I saw something sneak behind that gum tree."
Kirkham stopped dead, and flung his rifle to his shoulder.
"Go on," said Tretherick, catching him roughly by the shoulder; "go on, mate. For God's sake, don't take no
notice. I saw yon chap a quarter an hour agone only thing to do is to keep straight ahead. It ain't no good
shooting at a tree trunk."
It was a ghastly notion to Kirkham, the thought of being followed by a foe, swift, silent unseen; from every
bush, from every stone and tree trunk might come their death, and yet they were unable to strike a blow in
selfdefence. The effort to walk straight ahead in Tretherick's footsteps cost him more than all the anxiety of
the past twentyfour hours, and looking round at his cousin he saw the beads of sweat standing out on his
forehead.
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"Nervous work, old man," said Allan, wiping his face. "I could manage a standup fight better than this,
whatever the odds."
"No hope of that, boss," said Tretherick; "we'd better peg on ahead. They mightn't touch us tonight, and then
we must make a push for it and reach the station before they're up with us tomorrow morning. You follow
me, and we'll keep in the open as much as we can."
It was all very well to say they would keep in the open, but the country grew more rugged as they advanced,
the stones and rocks were small boulders scattered thickly among the thorny shrubs, which taken together
formed excellent cover for the enemy; but still the desperate men marched on in silence, there was no turning
back for them. Every now and then Tretherick, with a slight motion of his thumb, indicated to the other two
that he had seen a black form stealing away, but Kirkham's unpractised eye never succeeded in distinguishing
it. As the time passed on he grew callous, and was able to march on with a bolder front. He looked at his
watch. Halfpast five. In another hour in these latitudes it would be getting dark, and they might safely hope
even Tretherick thought so only another hour if only
Tretherick half turned his head.
"See that pile of rocks, boss, right ahead?"
"Yes."
"There's a ten mile stretch of plain country ahead of that. Hard as a rock the ground is, and not a bit of cover
for miles round. Once we get there we're pretty safe. We can shoot anything that comes within range."
"Hurrah!" cried Allan Morrison. "I clean forgot that."
"You ain't there, yet," said Tretherick, grimly.
"Why, man, it's not a quarter of a mile off, and we've been followed for the last hour and a half."
"Longer nor that, you can bet," said Tretherick. "They travel like a house on fire, them blacks; but they're
coming closer now, it's a bad sign. However, we can't do no more."
Eagerly Kirkham kept his eyes on the heaps of rocks, another five minutes and they would be abreast of it,
five more and they would be safe on the open plain. The temptation was to put out all his strength and run
with all his might for the safe haven, but Tretherick in front was walking as steadily as ever, and he turned to
speak to Allan who was close behind.
"Wouldn't it be better " he began.
From the rocks to the right came hurtling a flight of spears, which whistled past his ears and buried
themselves in the ground beyond.
"My God!" He heard a heavy fall beside him, and saw Tretherick had fallen forward on his face. He heard the
crack of his cousin's rifle, but, though he raised his own to his shoulder, could see nothing to fire at.
"Are you hurt?" asked Allan. "No. That's good. Now about Tretherick."
Kirkham stooped down and raised up the wounded man.
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"Are you hurt, mate?" he asked.
"Done for, boss. Run, run never mind me."
Morrison looked at his cousin, and stooping they raised the dying man between them, and tried to make for
the rocks beyond which lay safety. They were hampered with their rifles, the man was heavy and could lend
no aid himself, and before they had taken two steps another flight of spears, accompanied this time by a shrill
call from the blackfellows, struck Tretherick fairly in the chest, and brought both the others to the ground. In
a moment the scrub and rocks were alive with blackfellows, who evidently thought they had nothing more to
fear from the white men; but the next moment they were undeceived, Kirkham had scrambled to his knees
and brought his rifle to bear on the first he saw. The shot took effect and the man fell back into the scrub. At
the some moment he heard Morrison's rifle behind him. Like magic the enemy disappeared, and except for
the man he had shot, who lay back against a bush stone dead, there was not one to be seen. He turned round
then.
"Allan! Tretherick!"
"Tretherick's done for, poor chap, and you'd better run for your life run, old man! They're only driven off
for a moment."
"Come, then, if you're sure it's no good our waiting for this poor fellow."
"Not the least in the world. But, old chap, it's a case of save himself who can now. There's a spear in my leg
and I can't keep up with you. Run, man, run. It's only thirty miles to the station, and if you can only reach the
plain you'll be safe."
"Rot! As if I'd leave you!"
There was not a moment to be lost. Already Kirkham fancied he could hear the scrub rustling all round, and
he bent over his cousin, and with cruel kindness dragged him to his feet. The barbed end of a spear had
penetrated his right leg just above the knee. To try and drag it out hurriedly was hopeless, the only thing he
could do was to break off the long shaft.
"I can't help it, I know I'll hurt you, old man," he said, hacking away at the tough, wellseasoned wood with
his knife.
Morrison could not repress a groan.
"Never mind," he said. "I can bear it. But the best thing you can do is to put a pistol in me and leave me."
Would it never break? It seemed to Kirkham, listening to the rustling behind him, that hours had passed since
first they were attacked. One blade of his knife broke, and as he fumbled to open the other, Morrison raised
his rifle, and a shrill scream following the report told him it had taken effect on some one. Then the other
blade broke.
"The devil's in the wood," said Kirkham, flinging the useless case aside.
"Go go, old man," urged Morrison.
"Nonsense. Your knife, man, quick!"
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He succeeded in cutting a groove round the tough spearshaft.
"Break it," said Morrison. "You can now. Oh, never mind me! Quick, it's our only chance."
With a violent wrench that sent the blood from the wounded man's face, Kirkham snapped the hard wood and
again dragged his cousin to his feet.
"Now then, Allan," he said, grasping him firmly by the arm, "we must run for it."
The moment they turned their backs a storm of spears whistled round them. One passed so close to Kirkham's
cheek it grazed the skin, and he gave up all for lost. Morrison hung heavy on his arm, and though before them
stretched the little plain, he felt if only the blacks made a determined rush they were utterly helpless.
"Push on push on," gasped Allan, "while we can. They're stopping to plunder poor Tretherick."
It was even so. Behind them they could hear a yelling and shouting, but for the moment they were
undisturbed, and Kirkham put out all his strength and dragged the helpless man on past the heaps of rocks
right out on to the little plain already darkening before the coming night.
He looked down into his face, white and drawn with pain.
"We must stop now," he said. "You can't stand any more."
"Can't I?" said Morrison. "I must a little further. Look behind."
"No signs of them," said Kirkham, laconically. "Are we safe?"
"For the time being yes, I think so. Can you haul me on a little further?"
In dead silence, broken only now and then by a groan from Morrison, they went on for about a mile till they
were right out on the plain, and there was no sign of any one following them; then the dead weight on his arm
grew heavier still, and Kirkham looking down saw his companion had fainted. He laid him gently down on
the hard, rocky ground, and kneeling down beside him, poured between his white lips the last remaining
drops in his whiskyflask. He took his hand between his own and chafed it gently. What could he do? What
was there to do? Two of them were dead already Allan looked dying, and he had no remedies at hand
not even a drop of water now to moisten his lips. Almost he wished he could change places with him. Why
should the most helpless of the lot be left? After all, though, the wound could not be mortal. With proper
appliances at hand it might only be a trifle, but they were out in the bush thirty miles from the nearest
human habitation surrounded, dogged by hostile savages; what chance had he of saving the helpless man
what chance, for that matter, of saving himself? The light was fading rapidly, in another minute or two it
would be quite dark. Ought he to use these last moments of daylight to try and extract the spearhead, or
would he only make matters worse? He rose and walked up and down in his intense anxiety; behind them
stretched a trail of blood the wound was still bleeding a little it was useless to try and staunch it with
the spearhead still there. He bent over his cousin again, and Morrison opened his eyes.
"Rough on you, Ned," he said, "ain't it, old man? How about that spear? Could you get it out?"
Without a word Kirkham took the knife and cut out the barbed spearhead, and then with their handkerchiefs
and pieces torn from their shirts he bound up the torn and bleeding flesh. It was rough surgery, and Morrison
fainted under it again; but there was no time to be lost, and by the time it was done the light had faded
altogether. There was nothing to be done, and Kirkham sat down beside his friend and waited. Their
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waterbottles were dry, the creek was nearly half a mile away even then he did not know how far the
nearest waterhole might be. No, there was nothing more to be done, unless what if he were to start off
for the station at once, and be back with help before morning? For a moment the idea took full possession of
him. It seemed as if he had cut the Gordian knot and solved all their difficulties. He took out his watch and
began to calculate. Already it was past seven. At the very quickest he could not reach the station under ten
hours, and be back in, say, three at the earliest that would be by eight o'clock in the morning. Long before
then it would be broad daylight, and no, that scheme was hopeless, and before his eyes rose a vision of
two desolate, wounded men slowly dying of hunger and thirst, using their last remaining strength to keep off
the waiting blackfellows who, as they grew weaker, grew hourly bolder and bolder. The vivid picture drew a
groan from his lips which roused the other from his stupor.
"Are you there, Ned?" he asked.
"Yes, old chap. How do you feel now?"
"Done for." Then he roused himself, and said, briskly
"You'd better be off, Ned. Keep by the creek, and you'll do it easily now. It's not quite twentynine miles, and
if you stick to the creek you can't get lost."
"I know," said Kirkham, dully. "I've looked at it from all points, and I see it can't possibly be done."
"Nonsense, man! The sooner you start the better."
"And you?"
"Well, having a gamey leg, it's clear I must stop here till you fetch me."
"Which I couldn't possibly do before eight o'clock tomorrow morning."
"If you stop here gassing," said Morrison, with a cheerfulness that went to his companion's heart, "it'll be
nine."
"Look here," burst out Kirkham, passionately, "what's the good of talking like that? You know very well I'm
not going to leave you to die. I can't do it."
"Matters won't be mended by your stopping to die also."
"At daylight tomorrow the devils'll be after us. Even I could not fail to follow our tracks, your leg has bled so.
Seriously now, what chance would you have against them?"
"Seriously, they were such a pack of cowardly brutes I believe I might hold out till you came. Go, Ned, go,
old chap, go! Think of your mother think of your sweetheart. If you ever cared a straw for Nancy
Marsden, go now."
"Allan," said Kirkham, under cover of the darkness, "did you care?"
"Did I? Do I? Good God! There, there, I'm talking like a sentimental baby; but, old chap," his voice was
hoarse with emotion, "it's come to a matter of life or death now, so I don't mind telling you I loved her
good God, how I loved her! It's some comfort to me to know she'll have you and be happy. Go, old chap
go for her sake. Goodbye, think of me kindly sometimes."
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"It's no good, Allan, I'm not going. Even for her sake, I'm not going. How could I look her in the face and tell
her I'd left you to die alone?"
"Ned, your staying won't help me. Man, it's a useless sacrifice. Your going is my only chance. You may bring
help in time you probably will, if only you'll hurry. You're sacrificing my life and your own as well from a
stupid idea of honour. Any one who wasn't a pigheaded fool would see that."
He struggled to his feet and leaned heavily on his cousin's shoulder.
"Don't let me have your death on my conscience. I promised your mother to look after her boy."
The unbidden tears rose to Kirkham's eyes. In his last extremity this man had no thought for himself. He had
no kith or kin to watch for him, none near enough to mourn his loss, and yet he could think of another man's
mother, another man's sweetheart. Kirkham pushed him down again.
"It's no good, Allan," he said, gently. "Believe me, even for my own peace of mind I can't leave you. Don't
ask me again, old chap. Suppose we rest now till the moon's up and then discuss the best means of pushing
on."
"Ned, I'm, useless a log an encumbrance that must mean death."
"Nonsense. You can shoot. We've plenty of cartridges, and I mean to pull through somehow."
"Let's cross the plain, you hoist me up a tree, and then go on. I could hold out then."
"We'll see. I'm going to sleep now."
"You're a fool, Ned," said Allan Morrison, but he grasped the hand nearest him and wrung it with all his
strength. They lay down side by side, and soon by his regular breathing Kirkham knew that the weakness and
weariness had overpowered his companion, and he was sleeping soundly. To him sleep would not come. One
by one he watched the stars like points of gold come out in the clear velvety sky, and went over and over
again in his mind the events of the last thirtysix hours. Webb was dead and Tretherick was dead. Allan was
wounded, their chances of life had dwindled down to nothing at all, tomorrow would see the end. He might
save himself still, the man beside him would never blame him he knew, and then he fell to speculating what
life would be worth bought at such a price. And yet he could not save him could only die with him. If
their positions had been reversed, could he, he wondered, have acted as this man had done. Could he have
sent another man to his sweetheart's arms with a smile on his lips? Would he have given one thought to
another man's mother? So slowly the minutes dragged on so slowly and Allan slept calmly on
undisturbed by the thought that tomorrow's dawning could only bring him a terrible death. But at least they
would sell their lives dearly, he thought grimly, and they would not die unavenged. On the still, hot night air
rose the quavering cry of the dingoes, and from the creek below rose the mournful wail of the curlew.
Dirgelike it sounded, their dirge, and he sat up instinctively grasping his rifle and watched the rim of the red
moon rise slowly over the treetops. Then he stooped and wakened Morrison.
"Allan, I'm going down to the creek to fill our waterbottles, and then we'd better be off."
"You won't save yourself?"
"Not without you."
"You are a good fellow, Ned, and Nancy Marsden has lost a treasure of a husband."
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"He's not lost yet," said Kirkham, setting off for the creek. It was more than half an hour before he was back
again with the canvas waterbottles filled and flung across his shoulder.
"The creek takes a turn there," he said. "If we take to it again after we've crossed the plain it'll be time
enough. Now, Allan, you must lean on me."
Morrison grasped his arm, and they began to move slowly across the plain. Very, very slowly, for it was
evident by his white face and firm closed lips that it was only by the greatest effort that the wounded man
moved at all. Neither spoke all their thoughts were centred in the one great effort to push on. Half way
across Morrison paused and looked into his companion's face.
"You see," he said. "Two hours on level ground. We haven't done four miles. Is it worth it, old man? Think
what it will be in the scrub!"
"We'll pull through somehow," said Kirkham, as cheerfully as he could; "suppose we spell a bit now, and
give your leg a rest."
"No, no. It'll only get stiff. Let's push on, if you won't see the uselessness of it all," and they pushed on
wearily.
Such a still hot night, such a perfect night, only from the direction of the creek came always the wail of the
curlews, and now and them from Morrison's lips pain would wring a sigh which was half a moan and went
straight to his companion's heart. Again and again they had to rest, and it was two o'clock in the morning
before they were in the scrub once more. They rested there for a little, and Kirkham, scrambling down the
steep bank to the creek, filled his waterbottle to bathe Morrison's leg, which was now fearfully hot and
inflamed. They did not speak much, where was the use? The one man had done his best to induce the other to
escape, and since he would not, no words of his, he felt, could thank him for so great a sacrifice; virtually, he
was giving him his life, whether they escaped or not he had made the sacrifice, and Allan Morrison had no
words in which to thank him, only with all his failing strength he pushed on. No word of complaint, no cry of
pain burst from him, and his companion only knew by the weight on his arm, and his face, white and drawn
in the moonlight, how much he was suffering.
But at last human endurance could stand no more, and just as the first faint streaks of dawn in the east began
to pale the light of the moon, he sank down on the hard, baked earth.
"I can't go a step further," he sighed.
"A little further," urged Kirkham, "only a little further. It can't be fourteen miles to the station now."
"I can't go a step," gasped the other, and it was painfully evident that he spoke the truth. "You go go now.
You'll yet be in time."
But Kirkham shook his head.
"I'll see you through, old chap," he said, as cheerfully as he could. "Don't give in yet. Take a little rest, and
then we'll go on again. We can make a fight for it now till we reach the station. With every step we take
there's more chance of our plight being discovered."
Morrison closed his eyes, and Kirkham lay down beside him for a few moments, and stared at the coming
day. All night long he had been going over and over in his own mind every possible scheme for their escape.
Things had looked black enough then, they were blackest of all now. They could but put their backs against a
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tree and fight till the bitter end. Instinctively he marked a tree, a tall white gum, standing alone somewhat,
clear of brush and undergrowth, and close at the water's edge. That would answer their purpose; but what
then? As long as they were wakeful as long as they had cartridges, they could keep the blacks at bay; but
the children of the soil were patient, watchful, untiring, they could wait, and would wait till the white men
were helpless. Their provisions were all gone, but at least they would have water, and without water they
could not live. He got up and looked at the tree more closely. From the high bank above there was nothing to
prevent the blacks from throwing down their spears on them; but any man standing there must needs form a
fair target for their rifles. No, there could be no better place. Then he touched Allan's shoulder, for the sun
was up now a burning, tropical sun and from every bush and scrub came the cry of the birds, their
welcome to the newborn day. In silence Morrison allowed himself to be helped down the steep bank, and
then, once with his back against the solid tree trunk, looked up in its branches.
"Couldn't you haul me up there?" he said, with a trace of animation in his tired voice. "I guess I could hold
out then while you went along and fetched help. The niggers would wait round me, and I really don't think
they would pester you at all. You could do it in four or five hours."
"By Jove," said Kirkham, "I never thought of that! But it's too late now. We'd better stick together till tonight,
and then I can do it. Cheer up, Allan; only twelve hours you can hold out that long, can't you?"
The older man smiled faintly, and bent down over the water to bathe his face. He looked weary and worn,
hardly capable of bearing up through the long hot day; but at least the close proximity of the water was a
blessing beyond count, and Kirkham washed out and applied afresh, cool wet bandages to his wound. He
could not stand now, could only lie with his back against the treetrunk, and his rifle grasped firmly in his
hand. Kirkham took up his station beside him, and so the long, dreary day began.
When first the blacks came up they could hardly have told, but soon after they had settled themselves came a
flight of spears out of the scrub on the bank a little to the left and fell just short of them.
"Close," commented Morrison. "No, no," as Kirkham raised his rifle; "don't waste cartridges. We've only
eleven left; don't fire unless they show in the open."
But at first the blackfellows contented themselves with showering spears from the scrub, till at last one,
bolder than his fellows, crept along the edge of the bank just opposite them, his naked body hardly showing
against the dark earth.
"You take him," muttered Morrison. "You've a better chance of a good aim than me. For God's sake, don't
miss, and it'll perhaps scare the devils for the rest of the day."
Kirkham waited till he got right opposite, then raising his rifle, he fired. There was a shrill scream, and as the
smoke cleared off he saw that if he had not killed the man he had at least wounded him so severely that he
was unable to move away.
"That's all right," said Morrison, with a half sigh; "poor beggar, he'll be of more service to us now than if he
were dead. The rest won't forget that's a place to be avoided as long as he's struggling there. They'll reckon on
starving us out now."
He was right. The blacks molested them no more that morning, and the long hot day stole wearily on. Long
before midday Kirkham was ravenous, but he could only be thankful that thirst was not added to their other
trials, and when he looked at his companion's flushed, hot face, he knew that only beside the waterhole could
he have kept his senses at all. It was weary work, that waiting. It seemed as if the day would never end. First
one man took the watch and then the other, and Kirkham was surprised to find he could actually sleep, sleep
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heavily, too, his slumber unbroken by even the shadow of a dream. The two men grew very close together as
the long hours passed by, very close indeed, and opened their hearts to each other, as they would never have
done save in the presence of almost certain death.
"You have given your life for me, Ned," said Morrison more than once. "I'm a lonely sort of chap, and never
had any one to care for me much, and I I well, it won't do you much good, my gratitude, but I'm
grateful all the same."
"Rot!" remonstrated Kirkham; "tonight we'll both be out of it," but the other man shook his head. He was
weak and ill, and had long ago given up hope.
Midday came and the heat grew sweltering, and the branches of the tall gum tree afforded but scant shade
from the burning rays of the tropical sun. Then the afternoon stole slowly on and the shadows grew longer
and longer.
"Cheer up," said Kirkham as he watched the long shadow of their tree creep slowly across the waterhole.
"It'll be dark in an hour."
Morrison only groaned. He was not suffering the pangs of hunger, he was too ill for that; he was simply worn
out and hopeless.
"At dusk," he said, "those devils will come on again, and God knows we won't have much chance then."
Kirkham agreed with him, and turning over tried to sleep a little longer. He would save all his strength, for he
had a journey before him if they succeeded in keeping off the enemy tonight. But sleep would not come now,
not even a doze, so he sat up, and leaning against the tree kept watch.
And just as the sun was setting and the shadows had grown long and deep as contrasted with the bright
sunlight, the place grew fairly alive with naked blackfellows, up on the bank above, down on the other side of
the waterhole, swarming through the scrub all round; it seemed impossible they could ever escape. In the
presence of danger Allan Morrison pulled himself together and struggled to his feet, supporting himself
against the tree trunk, but though the blackfellows showed themselves freely and kept them on the alert,
stealing round on every side, the lesson they had learned in the morning stood them in good stead, and they
never came within range. Still it was terribly wearying, and Kirkham knew if it went on a little longer they
could not hold out against it.
"Luckily," said Morrison, as if divining his thoughts, "they'll clear out as soon as it's dark."
"But they have us in a cage here."
"Still, I don't believe they'll come on. They're afraid of the bunyip so near the water."
Lower and lower sank the sun, and when at last his rim touched the horizon, the blacks, as it were,
concentrated themselves for one last effort. They were not easy to see, those naked black figures, that seemed
to understand how to assimilate themselves with the scrub and to take advantage of every bit of cover, but the
two lonely men seemed to feel their presence all around them. There was a strange rustling in the scrub, a
breath of wind sighed mysteriously, a twig snapped on the bank above, some pellets of earth fell down,
gently, slowly, silently, as if afraid to break the stillness. Kirkham moved uneasily, and Morrison sighed
heavily.
"I think," he said, "there's something in that patch of scrub just on top of the bank, Ned. If we don't do
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something now it's all up. You pot at the titree, and I'll go for that dark shadow by the log over there."
A sharp cry followed the crack of the rifles and Kirkham knew if he had not killed his man he had at least
wounded him severely, while Morrison, in the fierce joy of battle, forgot for a moment his pain and stepped
out quite briskly.
"Killed my man, by Jove!" he cried. "I saw him topple over behind the log without a sound. Now we're safe
till morning."
Down sank the sun behind the horizon and the darkness came swiftly upon them, sweeping over the land like
a great cloud.
"We're safe," said Kirkham, with a sigh, and even as he spoke a flight of spears came whistling about them in
the dusk. Morrison sank down wearily.
"It's the last effort," he said. "They've done for the night now, I guess. Now, Ned, my boy, you can be off in a
minute or two. The sooner the better. I shall be right as ninepence till you come back."
It might have been so, but Kirkham utterly refused to leave him there. It seemed to him too close to the
danger they had just escaped. So, supporting him, they crept slowly down the creek under the shadow of the
bank. Wounded as Morrison was they had done sixteen miles the night before, and it seemed to him that if
they could accomplish the thirteen that still lay between them and McAlister's together, so much the better,
but not half an hour after they had left their sheltering tree, Allan let himself sink on the ground, and refused
to stir.
"I can't, indeed I can't you don't know what agony it is. Keep straight on till you come to McAlister's, and
then fetch them back for me."
"But suppose I get lost?"
"You can't if you stick to the creek. Keep straight on till you come to a waterhole with a post and rail fence
round it. McAlister's is just above. Hurry on. So long, old chap."
Kirkham settled his comrade with his back to the bank, filled his water bottle, and left the rifles and all the
remaining cartridges beside him.
"Goodbye, old chap," he echoed, wringing his hand, and then started on his weary march down the creek.
He was ravenous, he was weary with the constant labour and watchfulness of the past three days, but the
knowledge that it was nearly ended, he was nearing his goal, and safety and comfort lay there, gave him fresh
strength and courage, besides, Allan's life depended on him now. He could go but slowly, for it was very
dark, darker than ever down in the bed of the creek, and the pitfalls by the way were numerous. Every sound,
too, made him start painfully, there was something suspicious in the croaking of the frogs, the snapping of a
twig, a rustling in the bushes overhead, a splash as he passed a waterhole; all sorts of fears and fancies
assailed him. He might fall and break his leg, even a sprained ankle would ruin them both; he might miss his
way; he might have done that already, and go walking on up the wrong creek until the blackfellows
overtook him and murdered him, as they assuredly would. He had broken his revolver on the way down from
Port Darwin; he had left his rifle behind with Morrison; he was unarmed, and if he did not reach McAlister's
before morning he had little difficulty in foretelling his fate. How strange and solemn it was there alone in the
desolate bush. The night was full of sound, too weird, strange noises, the cry of birds and of insects, the
trickling of water as it flowed gently between the stones. Then the moon rose, and the dark shadows,
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contrasting with the brilliant white light, made the bush more weird than ever. Once the water stretched right
across from bank to bank, and he was obliged to scramble up the steep bank and make his way through the
scrub, and his progress was thus slower than ever, for however thick the scrub, he dared not lose sight of the
creek, knowing as he did it was his only safeguard. His bushcraft was scanty, and many were the ghastly tales
he had heard of men lost in the bush. It would be easy enough to get lost, he knew. Once lose sight of the
watercourse and he could not be sure of finding it again, but it was slow progress, terribly slow, and the
minutes seemed racing away. Once he stepped among a herd of sleeping cattle that rose and snorted and
dashed away through the scrub and fern, bellowing in fright. It was the first token he had had since they left
the hut of the presence of civilised man, and he hailed it with delight; but his heart sank again as he
remembered that all the cattle within a radius of eighty miles probably belonged to McAlister, and the station
was it was eleven o'clock by his watch surely it could not be four miles off now. He was all but dead
beat, but still he struggled on, now walking in the bed of the creek itself, now pushing his way through the
scrub and undergrowth that fringed the bank. Twelve, halfpast, and still no sign of human habitation, and he
sat down at length and gave way to despair. Not fourteen miles, and he had been walking since halfpast
seven. Had he missed his way? had he by some wonderful mischance got on the wrong creek? could he
possibly have passed the station in the darkness? Overhead in the tree above a nightjar was crying,
mournfully, "Mopoke, mopoke," and it seemed to him a very dirge.
"So long, old chap." How cheerfully Allan had spoken, so cheerfully, and yet the night must have had far
more terrors for him lying there, helplessly waiting; and thinking of him. Kirkham rose and struggled on
again.
The creek took a turn here, and as he rounded the bend he flung his hat in the air and gave vent to a wild
hurrah, for there before his very eyes in the still white moonlight lay a large waterhole pool he would have
called it and round it ran the welcome threerail fence. Now at last he had reached his goal, his journey
was ended there was a singing in his ears and the whole landscape swam before his eyes. With a great
effort he conquered his weakness, scrambled up the bank, crossed the fence, and fairly ran as fast as his
failing strength would allow towards the buildings which stood in the middle of the paddock. McAlister's
station was primitive in the extreme, and consisted of three small slab huts, from the nearest of which several
nondescript cattle dogs dashed out, and loudly expressed their entire disapprobation of the presence of a
stranger. Then a man appeared in the doorway, sleepily rubbing his eyes.
"Why God bless my soul! Possum! Bounder! down dogs, down! Where the devil did you come from,
mate?"
Kirkham stumbled up to the doorway, and sank down on the bench which is always at the door of an
Australian hut.
"The blackfellows the myalls " he gasped. "They attacked our camp Morrison's and and I
want help!"
"The h they did! Rouse out, boys, rouse out! Hi! Some one call the boss! Now then, look alive there. You
ain't gettin' ready for a funeral this trip."
Two other men appeared on the scene, and from the other hut came McAlister and his son two rawboned
Scotchmen and in a few broken words Kirkham managed to tell his tale. They gave him food and drink,
and while two of them went for the horses the rest eagerly questioned him, and began making hasty
preparations for setting out.
"Ou, ay, a ken the watterhole weel eneuch," said old McAlister, as Kirkham tried to describe the waterhole
where he had left his cousin. "Bunyip's hole we ca' it. It's no abune sax miles frae here, gin ye ride through
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Rum Jungle, but I'm no sayin' ye were no wise to come by the creek, ou ay, it was the right gait for ye. Come
now, can ye ride back and show us whaur ye left the laddie. I'm no blamin' him, but he were unco rash, I'm
thinkin'."
By the time Kirkham had snatched a hurried meal, the horses were saddled and the men ready, and they set
out through the bush, riding straight through the scrub, or, as McAlister called it, Rum Jungle.
"Ye cam' no sma' round, mate," said he. "If ye'd kenned the way ye could ha' been here in less than twal
hours, but if ye'd attempted it it's no improbable ye'd ha' ended your days there;" a statement which Kirkham,
looking at the dense scrub, believed.
A new fear took possession of him now, lest he should be unable to point out where he had left Morrison, but
the men rode steadily on, and in little over an hour they were looking over the creek, and the waterhole
where he had spent all the day before gleamed unfamiliarly in the distance.
"I don't know ," he began.
"That's the Bunyip Waterhole, over there," said one of the men, indicating it with his whip handle, "and you
come half a mile down. Well, he ought to be somewhere about here," and he put his hand to his mouth and
gave a long shrill cooey.
There was a moment's silence, and Ned Kirkham could hear the beating of his own heart; then the reply came
back a little way further down the creek.
Weary as he was, Kirkham reached the spot first.
"Allan, Allan," he said, and his voice was choked, "thank God you're all right!"
Morrison grasped his hand, and the moonlight showed the tears in his eyes.
"It's been such a long night," he said; "but I shall be able to dance at your wedding after all, old chap."
Kirkham smiled faintly. The strain was over now, and he hardly felt able to move. Sleep was overpowering
him, and he sat down on a fallen log and leaned back against the bank and closed his eyes. Dim and far away
he heard the voices of the rescue party discussing the situation, the younger men eager and anxious to follow
up their advantage and punish the blacks there and then, McAlister, with Scotch caution, pointing out that he
and Morrison could certainly be of no assistance, and exhorting them to wait a little. He did not hear the end
of it, he had fallen into a deep sleep, and was only roused by a hand on his shoulder.
"Rouse out there, mon. They hotheaded laddies are away after the myalls. But ye twa'll just come awa' hame
wi' me."
CHAPTER VII. PHOEBE DECIDES ON HER FUTURE
Were it not better,
Because that I am more than common tall,
That I did suit me all points like a man?
As You Like It.
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"I declare, Phoebe, those bees of yours are getting on splendidly. Do you think you'll have any honey?"
The hives were only gin cases ranged along the orchard fence on a roughly made stand and shaded by a still
rougher shingle roof, a specimen of Phoebe's skill in carpentering, but this fine sunny day in December the
bees were hard at work; the sound of their humming was in the air; they seemed healthy and well; they were
her very own; her little scheme seemed on the way to success, and she was happier, she thought, than she had
ever been in her life before.
"Honey? Of course they'll have honey. As soon as I get my allowance this month I'll buy a smoker, and then
I'll be able to look at them and see if I ought to rob them, and I wonder if I could afford a frame hive?
That's what I ought to have. But it would cost at least a guinea, besides the trouble of getting it out here. I
wonder if it would pay to have it, I believe it would."
"Oh, but you want a new dress, and you haven't a decent hat, and your boots Have you looked at your
boots lately?"
Phoebe glanced down at them.
"That's the worst of it," she sighed. "I want so many things, don't I? And I'm likely to go on wanting all the
days of my life as far as I can see if I don't make the effort on my own account. Nan, I must do something. I'll
get the hive."
"You can't dress yourself in a hive, silly. You can't wear it on your feet."
"I'm not so sure about that." Phoebe nodded her head sagely. Those six hives of bees, all her own, had done
her this much good. She was beginning to have some faith in her own opinion. Had not they all scoffed at her
when she hived that stray swarm, and yet, in spite of all drawbacks, here in the third summer were there not
six hives in full working order? "If honey is a marketable commodity " she began.
"If? But you know father says it isn't. He only laughed at you."
"I'm not sure I care much what father thinks, if he'll only let me alone."
"It seems to me," said Nancy, settling herself down on the grass and returning to the subject, "you want a
good deal more than you can buy with your poor little £1 13s 4d, without thinking about hives or smokers or
anything else."
"It would cost so little to set me going," sighed Phoebe. "Five pounds would be wealth, and ten pounds would
just give me almost everything that I wanted. It is hard, isn't it? If it were one of the boys just wanted ten
pounds to give him a start in life, it would be scraped up somehow, and I don't believe it would be such hard
work either. I'm sure father puts that much into shares and loses it often, and just says nothing about it; but
because I'm a girl "
"You're expected to get married."
"No, I'm not. They're always impressing on me that no man is likely ever to want to marry me."
"But they expect you to get married all the same. The boys all declare you might have Mr Davidson if you
went the right way about it."
"That old thing!" Phoebe stamped her foot on the ground and the tears of mortification came into her eyes. "A
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common old baldheaded thing like that who hasn't got an 'h' in his vocabulary. Anybody's good enough for
me, evidently. They just don't want an old maiden sister to be dependent on them. They want to get rid of
me."
"Oh, shut up, Phoeb. You know he's got plenty of money, and you could just do whatever you liked. You
needn't bother about him at all."
Phoebe turned on her sister in a blaze of anger.
"Nancy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Oh, yes, I know lots of women talk that way, but that
doesn't make any better of it. It makes it worse. It's wicked, and if only I were a goodlooking, handsome
woman "
"Well, Phoebe, if you were "
"Oh, mother, I didn't see you!"
"No, I know you didn't. You were too busy declaiming. I'll just tell you what, though, Phoebe, if you stand
full in the sun like that, with your hat on the back of your head, your complexion will just be ruined. My
mama used to say "
"Phoeb don't care," put in Nancy, hastily.
All the family hated to hear their maternal grandmother quoted. She had been dead for many years, and they
were not prepared to accept her opinions as gospel, and their mother did not like it if they hinted, as they not
unfrequently did, that the old lady's opinions were a little out of date.
"Phoeb don't care," went on Nancy. "She thinks "
"But she ought to care," sighed Mrs Marsden, seating herself on the grass beside her younger daughter, and
surveying the elder one somewhat discontentedly, "and looks are so important to a woman. A man well
sunburnt looks nice, but a woman " Mrs Marsden shook her head. She could not put into words what she
thought of a sunburnt woman. "It looks so so common," she got out at last.
Phoebe laughed.
"Goodness me, mother, is that all? I don't mind one bit being common. It seems to me the common folks have
the best of it. The girls you call common have real good times, while we, while I " "I'm sure I don't know
what you want," sighed her mother. "I suppose you're just as well off as most other girls like you, and if you
want more money you've only got to there's Mr Davidson would, I'm sure, if you went the right way "
"other, how dare you," cried Phoebe. "You're as bad as the rest. Just because that wretched old man came out
here the last two Sundays and paid me a little attention, to go on like that. It's indecent, that's what it is. You
don't know how I hate "
"But, my dear child," Mrs Marsden began, persuasively, "I just must speak to you about that. I came out on
purpose."
"Then for goodness sake, mother, hold your tongue."
"Nonsense, Phoebe," said her mother, tartly, "that's not the way to speak to me. Sit down at once and listen to
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what I've got to say. I'm only speaking for your good."
Phoebe sat down reluctantly beside her sister.
"It was impossible for us to help noticing what great attention Mr Davidson paid you last Sunday. Now a man
like he is is bound to mean something. He's not a young flippant "
"He's forty if he's a day," said Phoebe, sullenly.
"Well, what if he is? It's a very good sensible age, and he evidently wants to marry you, Phoebe."
"I don't care if he does," said Phoebe, still sullen. It was no compliment to be admired by Mr Davidson. "He'll
just have to want, I'm afraid."
"Phoebe, how can you be so recklessly foolish? He isn't rich, but he is fairly welltodo, and you would be
comfortably settled in life."
"I don't like him," said Phoebe, conscious how feeble the objection would sound in her mother's ears, but
anxious, if possible, not to shock her.
"Oh, but you'd get to like him in time. A girl always likes a man who's good to her after she's married."
"It's so rare, I suppose," said Phoebe, bitterly. "Anyhow, I'm not going to marry any man on the chance of
getting to like him afterwards."
"What are you going to do, then?"
"I'm going to love the man I marry with all my heart and soul and body."
"Phoebe!" Mrs Marsden had an idea her daughter was quoting from the Bible, and she thought it was
sacrilegious; she was quite sure that it was indecent for any young girl to talk like that, therefore she said
again with deeper displeasure in her voice, "Phoebe!"
"Well, mother, what's wrong now?"
"I hate to hear you speak like that. Of course a woman loves her husband, we all know that. You would love
Mr Davidson once you said 'yes' to him."
"Well then, mother, I'm going to love the man I marry long before I say 'yes' to him. Love don't come just
because a man asks you to marry him."
"When girls are properly brought up " began perplexed Mrs Marsden.
"Then, mother, do just suppose for a change I'm properly brought up I'm sure you did your best and
tell me what you want?"
"I want you to be civil to Mr Davidson, not turn your back on him and leave the room like you did yesterday.
It would be such a comfort to me, such a load off my mind if I knew you were comfortably settled in life."
"Poor mother," Phoebe said, pityingly; she was so conscious of her mother's hard life, she understood her
difficulties so thoroughly, and she would have helped to the very utmost of her ability, but sacrifice herself in
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his way she could not. "I'm sorry, mother, indeed I am, but I couldn't marry Mr Davidson, even if he asked,
which he hasn't done."
"But, Phoebe," cried Mrs Marsden, desperately, "what do you suppose will become of you?"
"Indeed, I don't know," said that young lady, with a heavy sigh; "it's a thing that troubles me a great deal."
"You know your father can't leave you anything. It's as much as we can do to manage now, and how the boys
are to be started in life I'm sure I don't know. And you well, you're twentyfour, Phoebe, you're no longer
young, and if you don't take this chance "
"Mother," interrupted Phoebe, bitterly, "a man at twentyfour is little more than a boy. Why must you talk as
if I'm quite old, and my life was over?"
"So it is for a woman, for an unmarried woman twentyfive is old, and her life is practically over, she can't
pick and choose after fiveandtwenty, and you'll be that very soon. Now if you take this chance "
"Well, then, mother, if I take this chance, as you call it, I'll just tell you what'll happen. I'd be welldressed, to
begin with; I might travel and see something of the world; I'd be much more entertaining and at my ease
when I wasn't wondering if people were noticing how shabby my boots were, and how very oldfashioned
and unbecoming my dress, and you always say a young married woman is more attractive and entertaining
than a girl "
"Indeed she is," said Mrs Marsden, with hearty assent; "you would really have a good time, Phoebe; I'm glad
you're beginning to see things in their proper light. I always say you're not bad looking, you know I do, but
you want to be welldressed, you don't look well in any simple little thing like Nancy."
"And," went on Phoebe, utterly ignoring her mother's remarks, "when I become so attractive, some one would
likely fall in love with me; and if he did I'm not accustomed to that sort of thing you know I'd be pretty
sure to fall in love with him, and then I should certainly run away with him and "
"Phoebe, how dare you say such a wicked thing! I'm ashamed that a child of mine should be so wicked, so
improper, so "
"That's just exactly what I want to avoid. I'm just telling you what would happen if I did that, as sure as the
sun will rise tomorrow."
"You are talking in an unladylike, improper manner, a way in which you have no business to speak to me. I
can forgive you, because I know you don't understand what you are saying."
"Don't I?" said Phoebe. "I understand thoroughly."
"Then you "
"Oh, I grant you it isn't pretty, but I must show you I do understand."
"No lady ever talks of leaving her husband; of loving another man; of running away with him."
"Doesn't she? She does it instead, then. At least, I should."
"Phoebe, I will not have you speak in that way to me."
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"Which way? Oh, you're shocked because I talked of running away with the man I loved. I suppose you do
grant, mother, there is such a thing as love in the world."
"Every nice woman loves her husband," admitted Mrs Marsden, cautiously, "but the way in which you talk
about love, no lady, no nicely brought up "
"Then I can't be nicely brought up," sighed Phoebe. "I can't help what you think, mother; but it's not good my
shutting my eyes to the world around me, and the majority of the world ain't ladylike, or nicely brought up
either. No, nobody ever fell in love with me, but I can't shut my eyes to the fact that there is such a thing in
the world, and that it is a very mighty, powerful factor indeed in the lives of men and women; and I think it
would be much better to bring girls up to recognise that fact, instead of ignoring it altogether, and calling it
indecent to refer to it."
"Where a child of mine could have got such notions!" sighed Mrs Marsden, hopelessly, turning to Nancy for
sympathy.
"They're true, mother, they're right, I feel they are. Because nobody's fallen in love with me, and nobody's
likely to, because I'm plain and uninteresting, why should I deny that there is such a good thing for some
women? There is, I know there is. And let me tell you, mother, you think it's shocking to talk of running
away with the man you love, and living with him "
Mrs Marsden shut her eyes, as if it were impossible for her to conceive of such a thing as if she preferred
to shut it out from her thoughts altogether.
"Don't be afraid, I'm not advocating such a thing. I'm sure it's very wrong, and somebody would have to pay
in the end, probably the woman; but what I do say, and I stick to it, mother, mind, no matter what anybody
says, it's a far more decent thing to do than to marry a man for the sake of getting married, of having a house
and position, and enough money, of of I would have more respect for "
"Stop, Phoebe," said her mother, interrupting angrily, "I know where you get those ideas from. I won't have
that indecent magazine article quoted to me again."
"The ideas are in the air," said Phoebe, gloomily. "I only wish I had more opportunities of hearing about
them. Well, mother, I won't say any more if you don't like it, but I had to explain to you why I couldn't marry
Mr Davidson, barring, of course, the good solid reason that he hasn't asked me."
Mrs Marsden looked across at her eldest daughter. She was excited now, as she very seldom was, and her
dark eyes were bright; there was a colour in her cheeks, and between her parted lips her teeth showed strong,
regular, milkwhite. Truly not a bad looking young woman at all, if there was nothing girlish about her. She
herself had married at eighteen, and all her fresh, girlish prettiness had faded long before she was Phoebe's
age; but there was nothing faded about this young woman, undeveloped, maybe, but faded certainly not.
"Well, Phoebe, you're getting on, you know, and if you won't have him what will you do? At your age you
can't expect much."
"Oh, mother, why must I be old at twentyfour? I feel quite young; I feel as if I could do anything; why must
I be old?" and Phoebe sprang to her feet and stretched out her strong young arms.
"Every unmarried woman is old at fiveandtwenty. 'Tisn't likely she'll have any chances of marrying after
that."
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"There are other things in the world besides marrying, I suppose?" said Phoebe, "plenty of women don't
marry; must all their lives be empty and uninteresting just because of that?"
"You said yourself the greatest good was to be loved, and you can't expect after fiveandtwenty "
"Oh, mother, I don't think we understand each other a bit. To love and be loved I'm sure it's the best thing; but
that don't often happen. If a man loves a girl tremendously, and marries her, and then finds out afterwards, as
he'd be pretty sure to do, that she married him because she wouldn't have another chance after she was
fiveandtwenty, he well I don't see how his love could last."
"A good woman always loves a man who's kind to her when he's her husband," said Mrs Marsden,
sententiously. "You don't understand, Phoebe."
"Don't I? Well, that's not what I mean when I talk about love being the best thing in the world; and I expect
the poor man would be a bit disappointed too. He married her because she was more to him than anything
else in the world; and she likes him because he's her husband, and she's a good woman, and good women
always love their husbands when their husbands are kind to them. No, mother, my perfect love couldn't exist
under those conditions."
"You're talking foolishly, Phoebe. You go on about perfect love, and then you acknowledge you don't expect
to get it. What do you want, then?"
"I want to be able to do without marrying. I want to be somebody, to do something in the world. Well,
mother, there, I really believe I just want to be able to earn my own living."
"What nonsense you talk, Phoebe; you can't do any such thing. A lady loses caste at once if she attempts
anything of the sort."
"Much that would trouble me if I could only earn £200 a year."
"Don't speak in that tone."
"No, I won't, I beg your pardon," said Phoebe, penitently, "but oh, I wish I was a man. I'd be young enough
then, and I'd have all the world before me."
"You'd find it very hard to earn your own living."
"Very likely; but I wonder would I find it half as hard as not earning it; as sitting still with folded hands and
hearing every day of my life what a burden I am, and how impossible it is to continue that munificent
allowance of £1 13s 4d a month that has to clothe me, and find me in amusements and pocket money? No, I
don't think it would be half as hard. There'd be something to look forward to then; something to hope for,
however hard you worked, while now " Phoebe spread out her hands. Words could not express the dull
hopelessness of her life.
"What do you want, Phoebe?"
"I don't exactly know, I wish I did. I'm sure I'm sure I wasn't put into this world to marry a man I don't
care a snap of the finger for, or have my life practically ended before it has well begun. What have I to look
forward to?"
"As much as most girls, I suppose; you're so discontented you don't enjoy the things other girls do. Why, it
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isn't a fortnight since Mrs Moore's dance!"
"If you call that pleasure," sighed Phoebe, gloomily, sitting down on the grass again; "I danced three times
out of twenty dances, and nobody took me into supper at all. I was left alone, like a pelican in the wilderness,
in the ball room."
"Now, Phoebe," remonstrated Nancy, "Charlie Baker asked you to go into supper. I saw him, and you were
quite rude to him."
"As if I could go in with that brat of a boy about up to my shoulder, making myself look utterly ridiculous!
No, thank you. Besides, Mrs Moore told him to, I saw her."
"Well, Phoebe, as I told you before, you can't expect to pick and choose; and if you want to be a favourite
you ought to be civil to everybody. Now, Charlie Baker will speak against you and give you a bad name, and
you don't know what influence his word may have. There are his cousins, the young Moores; you like them,
they're nice looking young fellows, and Mrs Moore's brothers in time, you know, if people spoke well of
you, said what a nice sort of girl that is, they would come along and talk to you and find you really could talk,
and then "
"And meanwhile," said Phoebe, "the time is going on, and I'll soon be fiveandtwenty, when no man will
look at me. No, mother, there are lots of unattractive girls in the world like me; heaps of them who don't
enjoy a party a bit, only they say they do because to do the other thing would be to acknowledge they didn't
get any attention, and were regular wallflowers. Well, there isn't any sham about me. It isn't nice, but I know
quite well I'm not attractive and "
"Phoebe, I wish you wouldn't be so blunt. If you're not attractive it's your own fault."
"No, it isn't. Do you think I like it? I don't know a more miserable feeling than sitting there knowing all the
other girls are getting their programmes full, and you know well enough yours will be empty long after
supper. I'm always so ashamed of myself, I feel I want the earth to open and swallow me up. And you call
that pleasure! I think a ball is just one long series of mortifications to lots of girls, only they won't own up."
"You're so strange," murmured her mother. She did not like the blunt way her daughter talked, and yet to
argue with Phoebe was beyond her. "I'm sure I always enjoyed balls when I was young. I always had lots of
bouquets sent me: one ball, the race ball at Ashton, where I met your father, I had three, and my programme
was full before I entered the room."
"How you would have hated meeting father, if you'd only known," ejaculated Nancy, flippantly.
But Phoebe paid no heed, and went on, "Then you enjoyed them, and were quite right to go, but for me it's
just a farce calling it enjoyment; it's all mortification, and I'm not going to any more. The young men and
girls seem to get on all right and enjoy themselves, and yet, whenever I hear what they're talking about, it just
seems so feeble and silly."
"You're always wanting to talk books. It's ridiculous, as Stanley says; men don't like it."
"Well, mother, don't you think we might decide comfortably that I can't get on with men, and they'd better be
left out of my future calculations?"
"Mr Davidson," murmured Mrs Marsden, as a sort of forlorn hope.
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"If you mention him again," said Phoebe, decidedly, not to say rudely, "I'll just go off and see if I can't get a
situation at the 'Shearer's Arms.' I know they want a cook there," and she turned on her mother such a defiant,
glowing face that Mrs Marsden thought again her eldest daughter was not bad looking; and, comforted
somewhat, reflected that she really was too good for Mr Davidson, and perhaps might not be quite faded
when the fatal fiveandtwenty was passed.
"Very well, Phoebe," she said, meekly and resignedly, "then, perhaps, you'll tell me what you do want? It's
miserable to have you going on like this, so discontented."
"I want to earn my own living, to be quite independent; I don't care how little I earn at first, if I can go on
improving, like a man. I want to earn enough to be sure of being comfortably off in my old age; to be
decently dressed, you know and be able to travel about a little, and buy books and have money to give away,
and "
"Anything else?" asked Nancy, sarcastically.
"Well, no. That would about do me, I think," said Phoebe, ignoring the sarcasm. "If I didn't marry then, it
wouldn't matter a bit. I'd be a great deal better off than half the women who marry because they must," and
Phoebe was quite complacent over her little castle in the air, which was built on such very shaky foundations.
"It's all very well," said her mother; "it sounds all right as you put it, but the thing doesn't work out in
practice."
"Oh, yes, it will."
"How then?"
"I shall try with bees."
"Phoebe! What nonsense!"
"It isn't nonsense, it's sober earnest."
"But how? I really can't afford to give you more than a penny a pound for the honey. I'm sorry, dear, because
you work hard at them; but really the boys do eat it so fast, six pounds goes no way."
"I'm not going to sell it to you, mother, dear," said Phoebe, with a superior air. "I wouldn't even if you gave
fourpence a pound for it."
"But, Phoebe "
"But, mother, it's no good going in for a thing unless you go in for it on a business basis. I shall sell my honey
where I can get the highest price. At the grocer's or the chemist's."
"Hammond would make an allowance on his bill "
"No, mother," interrupted Phoebe, decisively, "this is my business really and truly, my object in life I
wish you'd understand. For the future I shall make all my old clothes do. Yes, I know they're in the last stages
of shabbiness, but twenty pounds a year won't do much towards improving my wardrobe, so I shall just spend
it on bee necessities. I shall see how I can extract the honey, put it into nice clean jars, and sell it where I can
get the highest price, and get cash down, too."
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"But, Phoebe so undignified, so unbecoming in a lady I don't know what your father will say."
"Not half as undignified or as unladylike as sitting in a ballroom in shabby clothes, wondering if any one's
going to have pity on you and ask you to dance, and as for father! I don't care much what he thinks. If I'm
successful and well dressed it'll be all right whatever I do. At present it's all wrong, and he couldn't have a
worse opinion of me."
"You know, Phoebe "
"Oh, yes, I know, I heard him this morning. 'Your daughters marry! Phoebe marry!' in tones of deepest
contempt. You'd have thought he'd had nothing to do with our presence in this world, we don't belong to him
in the least. But I don't count him in. If I succeed he'll be all right and go on as if he had prophesied it all
along, and if I don't he won't be any worse than he is now. See, mother?"
"Yes, but oh, Phoebe, I don't like it, it's so unladylike. How will you arrange about selling it? And your
father will never take it in the buggy."
"I shan't ask him. Bateman, next door, I daresay will do it for me; it will only be a little at first, and when I
get a lot I'll pay him for it; and as for selling it, I'll just go from one shop to another till I see where I can get
the highest price."
"Oh, Phoebe!" and Mrs Marsden sighed. It was so contrary to all her notions of propriety. She felt as if
Phoebe was cutting herself adrift from all decent society by even contemplating such a thing. If Mrs Marsden
could have arranged the world to her satisfaction, she would have had enough money to buy herself four new
silk dresses a year, with bonnets and etceteras to match, and her daughters should also have been prettily
dressed in the fashion suitable to their age. They would have been pretty girls, had she had the making of
them, with pretty manners, never given to slang and never, no never, given to airing such extraordinary
opinions as Phoebe did. They should have been able to play a little, to sing a little, to paint a little, just
enough to decorate their homes, and when they reached the ages of eighteen or nineteen, certainly before they
were twenty, some nicelooking, gentlemanly young man should come along as a husband, who, if he were
not rich, should at least have enough to keep them comfortably.
Poor Mrs Marsden! And the reality was so unlike her desires. She got up and brushed the grass seeds from
her dress.
"Well, you can try, Phoebe," she said, with a heavy sigh, "but you ought to thoroughly understand you will
utterly cut yourself off from society, more if you succeed than if you fail."
"Oh, mother! Won't you ever understand? I've been trying all this while to show you how very little charm
society, as I see it, has for me."
"Well, you cut yourself off from it entirely. And if it isn't very much here in Ballarat, it is different in
Melbourne. They'll never ask you to the Government House balls."
"They never do now," laughed Phoebe. "We've never got beyond the garden party."
"Well, but there was always the chance that they might. Your father is such a strikinglooking man that I'm
sure if the Governor saw him he'd recognise at once his right to be asked. But it's no good talking. It's nearly
time for the children's tea. Whose turn is it to get it? Yours, Nancy. Then for goodness sake don't be late with
it tonight. It always makes your father cross if he comes home and finds the children's tea going on," and Mrs
Marsden went slowly back to the house, hardly knowing whether to be glad or not, but very certain that her
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mission had failed and that her eldest daughter was the most obstinate woman in the world.
"I wonder," said Phoebe, thoughtfully, "if they'd continue to ask us to Government House garden party if they
knew we got the children's tea regularly. It's much worse than selling honey."
"Oh, it's so genteel," laughed Nancy. "Just genteel poverty. There's nothing unladylike in getting the
children's tea, so long as you don't tell any one you do it. It's the telling as does it."
CHAPTER VIII. HOPE DEFERRED
The thirsty land is lying scorch'd and dreary,
O'er hill and valley and outstretched plain;
The hearts of men are waxing faint and weary;
God send Thy rain!
ANONYMOUS.
It was some time before Allan Morrison recovered from his wound and the toilsome journey to McAlister's
station. The young fellows who had come to the rescue had punished the blacks in a summary and
indiscriminate manner, riding down on the camp in the early morning just before dawn and shooting right and
left, anything that came within range. That is the way they do things in the back blocks when their blood is up
and there is nobody to ask inconvenient questions. And nobody at McAlister's did ask any questions when
they returned at midday and reported the myalls as "dispersed." Morrison was too ill and Kirkham was just
in that mood when he felt that nothing was too bad for the men who had so treacherously attacked them.
When his cousin was well enough to be left, he and McAlister made an expedition to the scene of the disaster
and found, as they expected, that the only trace of man's occupation was the hole in the ground. The hut had
been burnt to the ground, and a black patch on the soil only showed where it had stood.
Kirkham went sorrowfully back again. He had put his little all into the venture and was loth to abandon it as
the cautious Scotchman advised.
"It's too far oot, mon, too far oot. Bide a wee till the country's mair settled."
"Bless the man, as if it won't be too late then," said Morrison. "When all Australia is swarming there there
won't be much show for us. No, I'm game to try again, Ned, if you are."
"We had a pretty tough struggle for it," said Kirkham, doubtfully, thinking of that long, weary tramp with the
blackfellows dogging them.
"Oh, we weren't careful enough," said his cousin. "I thought with poor old Webb there wasn't a chance of
danger. Now we know, we should start on quite a different basis. There really isn't much danger from the
blacks if you're prepared for them, is there, McAlister?" he asked, appealing to one of the old man's sons who
was smoking in the doorway.
"No," he said, "no. I know the old man thinks there is, but he's a canny Scotchman. If you're sure there's gold
there I wouldn't mind joining you myself. We'll find it slow work growing rich here on cattle."
That settled the matter. If Sam McAlister, who knew the country better than any other man, were willing to
join them, Kirkham felt he could not hang back. Besides he had put so much money into the venture he could
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hardly afford to give up now. He thought the matter over in all lights. He needed money badly. His little
capital was all but expended, and this offered at least a chance of wealth. Yes, he would go.
"It's our last chance," he said, gloomily. "If we don't get gold, Allan, what the devil is to become of us?"
"I guess we'll have to ride tracks for the first man who'll give us a billet."
"After all there's not much else left for us to do now," said Ned Kirkham, "unless we take up land and start a
cattle station of our own."
"Well, I suppose there's not much to stop us from taking up land, but, hang it all, man, how are you going to
stock it?"
Kirkham laughed.
"Funds won't run it, eh? Well, I suppose there's nothing for it but to try that blessed claim again."
When they were alone Morrison asked his cousin another question.
"Look here, Ned, what about that little girl down south?"
"Well, what about her?" and Kirkham blushed through the sun tan on his cheek.
"Ain't you going to to propose to her?"
"How the dickens can I when I haven't got a cent to my name."
"You will have when we get that gold."
"When?" There was a slight scornful ring in his voice which made the other man assert vehemently the
absolute certainty of that gold, and Kirkham asked again, "What shall I do, Allan?"
"About Nancy Marsden? Why the dickens don't you write to her and ask her if she'll have you? She will, I'll
be bound. At least if her sister's to be trusted."
"But about papa? There's that to be considered, you see."
"Oh, hang papa. Time enough for that when you get her answer. Man alive, if I had your chance," and
Morrison drew a deep breath.
Kirkham turned away impatiently. It was all very well for Allan to talk, but the chance was not his. He had
nothing to offer, how could he write? And he marched up and down the verandah smoking furiously and
trying to work out in his own mind some good way of letting Nancy Marsden know all his hopes and fears. It
was impossible, he told himself forty times a day, and he told himself the same thing over again when once
more they made their way to their abandoned claim on Baker's Creek and began their old work anew.
There were just the three of them this time, Kirkham, Morrison, and old McAlister's youngest son, Sam, a lad
of threeandtwenty, who went in with them because, as he said, it was so deadly slow on the station, the
chance of getting out of it was worth something.
It was duller here, if possible, eighty miles beyond the station. They built their hut close to the water's edge
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this time, remembering how dear that hundred yards had cost them before, and they cleared away every
vestige of cover for pretty nearly half a mile round. But their former foes might have vanished from the face
of the earth for all they saw of them, not a vestige, not a sign of them was there, and the tame blacks on
McAlister's station reported that the myalls had cleared out for a hundred miles back. Still Kirkham never felt
quite happy working at that claim. Down below, in the heat and darkness, he expected to find the bucket
jerked up hurriedly so that he might join the others in defending the camp, and he speculated as to what
would be the end supposing the blacks did attack while two of them were below and they killed the man on
top. They were not profitable speculations by any means, and he did not know that it was any better when it
was his turn to stop above ground. At first the cry of a bird or beast made him start, a splash in the
waterhole alongside sent his rifle to his shoulder, and at early morning he would awake with the firm
conviction he heard stealthy footsteps creeping round the hut. But nothing happened. No myalls made their
appearance, and at the end of the first week he had grown accustomed to it, and at the end of a fortnight was
as careless as young McAlister himself. Siting there on the bench at the door smoking his pipe after the long,
hot day was done, he grew to count on that gold as a certainty. It was the one thing that could give him all he
wanted, the one thing that could send him freedom, and civilisation, and the girl he loved, and the other side
of the shield was so dreary he dared only look on this one. Morrison believed in it, young McAlister believed
in it, poor Tretherick had believed in it, why should not he? There seemed no reasonable doubt, and each day
saw the end approaching closer.
Young McAlister rode over to his father's for the mails and brought back a pile of English letters for
Kirkham, and one solitary letter with a Victorian stamp on it for Morrison, and when he had seen the
postmark Kirkham was ready to barter his goodly pile for that letter. Morrison read it carefully, then tossed it
over to his cousin.
"It concerns you more than me, old man. She was a good girl to keep her word and write," and he sighed as
he refilled his pipe.
The sun was just setting, and his long, level beams were turning the waterhole into a lake of gold. A flock of
wild duck wild duck from the far interior, for they were not scared by the presence of man dropped
down on it, and Kirkham watched them as he took the letter from Allan's hand.
"That's a bad sign," said McAlister, watching them too. "There must be a drought out back there. I don't know
but what this hole might dry up."
"Oh, you be hanged, man," laughed Morrison, "it'll more than last out our time. We'll come to the washdirt
in another week at the rate we're going at present."
Then Kirkham opened Phoebe Marsden's letter and read it. It was a kindly, friendly letter, telling Morrison all
the little news about the place she thought might interest him, but chiefly, as if she knew this topic was the
most interesting of all to her correspondent, dwelling on Nancy and her doings.
"Last Friday, for a wonder," she wrote, "I went to a dance at the Moores', just because Mrs Moore wouldn't
take 'No' for an answer. I can't say I enjoyed it much, my dress wasn't very nice. I daresay you will laugh at
that since you are in a place where they don't think much of dress, but I'm sure you will be interested to hear
that Nan wore pink and looked sweetly pretty. Mrs Moore's brother, a Mr Sampson, a very solemn sort of
lawyer, who I daresay might be awfully nice if you got to know him, seemed to take a great fancy to her and
regularly persecuted her for dances. His sister told me yesterday it was a case of love at first sight, and of
course it would be a great thing for Nan. But then, unfortunately I don't know whether I ought to say
anything, but I expect you know as well as I do where Nan's heart went to. I used to think he was fond of her,
and, of course, when two people are fond of each other there's nothing more to be said; but if he doesn't care
for her, why I do think she might grow to care for Mr Sampson. I suppose you think it's early days yet for me
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to talk like this, but I only go by what his sister said, and I cannot help thinking it would be a great thing for
Nancy. I suppose you'll set me down as awfully mercenary, but she is so pretty and does lead such a dull life
and I should like to see her happily married." And then she went on to tell about her brothers and the other
children, and the progress the bees were making; but the whole post might only have consisted of those few
sentences as far as Kirkham was concerned.
His pipe went out as he read, the sun went down and darkness fell upon the land, and then he tossed the letter
back to its owner.
"Well?" said Morrison.
"I don't think it is well," said Kirkham, and they said no more till McAlister, tired out with the day's long ride,
flung himself down on the bunk and went fast asleep. Then Kirkham asked abruptly
"Old man, do you think she'll marry him?"
There was no need for names, the simple pronoun was enough. Morrison thought a second.
"Not just at once," he said. "But if it goes on she's bound to. Everything is in his favour."
"Hang it all! If we'd only got the washdirt. Old man, do you think I've the ghost of a chance?"
"Of course, a great deal more than a ghost of a chance. You see what her sister says."
"Her sister. She doesn't mention names, she might mean you."
"Rats! She might mean Sam McAlister there, but she don't. Why don't you go in and win, old chap?"
"Why don't you?"
"I would if I was in your shoes, as Phoebe Marsden knows right well, but I'm not."
Ned Kirkham marched slowly up and down outside in the gloom listening to the mournful cry of the curlews,
then he formed a sudden resolution, went inside, lighted a candle, and sitting down at the rough table wrote a
letter to Nancy Marsden. Thinking it over afterwards he never could quite recollect what he said in that letter,
only he knew in impassioned words he told her the whole facts of the case, told of his poverty and his hopes
and implored her to have pity on him and wait for him, swore that he loved her from the first moment he had
seen her and would love her, whether she would have anything to do with him or not, for the rest of her life.
Then he put a hand on Morrison's shoulder and roused him from his sleep.
"Well," he said, grumpily. It was no good his lying awake thinking mournfully of fairhaired girls down
south. "Oh, it's you, is it, Ned? Well, what the devil is the matter now? No more myalls?"
"No, but look here, Allan. I've just been writing to Nancy Marsden. And I'm going to ride into McAlister's
tomorrow and send it off by the mail. I'll just be in time if I start tomorrow morning."
"Oh, you are, are you? Well, why couldn't have written before we left I'm sure I don't know. Now you'll
knock up the horses and won't be fit for work yourself for a fortnight at the very least."
"Hang it all! It's a matter of the greatest importance. What will all the gold in the world be to me if I lose
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Nancy Marsden."
"Oh, all right, old man, who's disputing the fact. Go by all means. Only don't get lost. I daresay Sam and I'll
get on very well without you."
So at dawn next morning Ned Kirkham had started for the homestead, and a week later he was back again
wishing with all his heart he had not written.
"What will she think?" he asked his cousin, whenever he found himself alone with him. "Suppose, suppose
they say it's like my bally cheek? It is, you know, after all."
"For heaven's sake, man, don't worry. You're worse than forty old women rolled into one. If she won't have
you she won't and there's an end of it, and if she will you'll be wearing yourself into fiddlestrings because you
can't set up housekeeping on twopence ha'penny a day. Anyway, the matter will be settled one way or
another, and perhaps you'll bring your massive mind to bear on the business we have in hand. We ought to be
down to the washdirt some time next week if I know anything about the sign."
"And that'll settle the gold business?" asked Kirkham, anxiously.
"Yes," said Morrison, dubiously. "That'll settle it in a way. But even if we don't find gold just at this spot,
you know, we might by following up the washdirt."
They had finished for the night, and Sam McAlister was cooking the evening meal while his two mates sat on
the bench outside the hut door and smoked furiously. It was very hot, so hot and still that the only sound that
broke the stillness was the loud stridulation of the cicada and the crackling of the fire. Not a breath of wind
stirred, and it seemed to have forgotten how to rain. McAlister shook a handful of tea into the billy of boiling
water, lifted the fryingpan full of slices of salt beef off the fire and put it down in front of Morrison, and
then raked the hot ashes off his damper.
"Now, Morrison," he said, "if you feel like doing the gentlemen I'll cart that pan inside and put the beef on a
dish, but as your own particular girl ain't here to see I think you may as well eat it as it is."
"Right you are, old man," said Morrison. "It's too hot to go inside. Here, give us over the tea. I'll sugar it," and
he put his arm through the square hole that did duty as window and taking a handful of sugar out of a jar that
stood on the table put it into the billy. Sam McAlister brought out tin plates and pannikins and the rough meal
began.
"We're just sinking to the level of savages," said Kirkham, discontentedly, as he lifted a slice of beef out of
the fryingpan at his feet on to the plate on his knee, and deftly caught with his other hand the hunk of
steaming damper McAlister tossed towards him. "What on earth would they say at home if they knew what
pirates we've become?"
"Oh, they'd think it quite natural. They'd be disappointed if we weren't a little different. And, hang it all, Ned,
what does it matter? Style never troubled me much."
"Nor me," said McAlister, who was lying on his face with his plate between his arms and his mouth full of
salt beef and damper, "only let's get that gold next week and Kirkham can put on all the frill he pleases. But I
say, if we're much longer about it, we'll have to begin carting water to wash the dirt in."
"There's the waterhole there," said Morrison, indicating it with his fork.
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"There it won't be long," said Sam McAlister, coolly, "if this goes on. Haven't you noticed it shrinking? In
another fortnight I don't believe there'll be anything but mud left."
"Good Lord! I thought it was permanent!"
"So did I," said McAlister, "but then I didn't reckon on weather like this. I thought it was going to be pretty
bad when I saw so much wildfowl, but the last chap left yesterday. At least I haven't seen any since last
night."
"Where have they gone?" asked Kirkham, curiously.
"Left for the sea, my son, I should imagine. Anyhow all the birds I've noticed are flying westward, and we
always reckon that a sign of drought."
"And if there's a drought "
"Well, if there's a drought I reckon we'd better go seawards too. Anyhow, this place won't be habitable much
longer."
Morrison hastily finished his pannikin of tea and, pushing his plate aside, walked a few paces to the
waterhole. As his mate had said the water was shrinking fast. It was there truly, a patch right in the middle
of the hole shimmering in the dusk, but all around it was a rim of mud baked hard by the burning sun. Last
week it had been covered with waterfowl, but now the only living things about were the great blueblack
crows perched on a tree over on the other side of the creek. He had noticed the absence of the duck today
without attaching any particular significance to it, but now as he walked up and down he thought the matter
over in his own mind.
It was dark now, quite dark, and the clear, cloudless sky was studded with golden stars; but he did not require
their light, only too well was every feature of the landscape impressed on his mind; then a bright red light
shone out behind the forest and he watched the full moon rise, red as blood even when she had crept out
behind the fringe of trees and was sailing out in the sky. She seemed to mark out specially that little patch of
water gleaming out from its fringe of yellow, clayey mud, to italicise it, to impress upon him as it had never
been borne in upon him before, the smallness of that supply of water which he had looked upon as
permanent. They had used it so lavishly too, and now, why Good God! There would not in another week, in
another fortnight at most, be enough for them to drink, let alone washing the gold! And another week would
bring them to the washdirt!
"Well, old man," Sam McAlister's voice came out from under the shadow of the hut, "one week's water and a
week from the washdirt. What do you make of it?"
"Don't know what to make of it, Sam. Give it up. What do you think?"
"Well, the blamed water might hang out a fortnight, an' it'll be mighty strong pea soup by then, if we only use
it for drinking, but what's the good of that if we can't wash the gold?"
"We'll have to dry blow it," said Morrison, a little less gloomily, "it'll be beastly unpleasant, but I don't see
anything else for it."
"Lord send us the gold," said Sam, cheerfully, "and hang the unpleasantness. We'll cut a dash away down
south and who'll care what happened up in the north here."
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"No, it won't much matter," said Morrison, and he came and laid down close against the hut out of reach of
the moonbeams, and tried to fancy that a faint cool breeze was coming up from the south.
And the next day broke hot and fierce, and the next, and the next, there was no change in the brazen sky
overhead, no breath of cool wind, no promise of rain, and each day the water shrank more and more, grew
more muddy and unpalatable, and the three men worked with feverish energy. At least they would know their
fate before the drought drove them away. It was hard work under the blazing sun, but they were young and
eager, and before the end of the week Morrison was hurrahing like a lunatic for they had reached the
longlookedfor washdirt, and the end was in sight.
"It's late, old chap," said Kirkham, reluctantly; "I suppose we'd better wait till tomorrow before we see what
luck's got for us?"
Morrison glanced at the red streak in the west where the sun had just vanished, and rubbed his hand across his
moist forehead.
"I reckon so, old man."
"An' I tell you what, chaps," said Sam McAlister with conviction, glancing first at the muddy waterhole and
then at his two mates, "clear we'll have to tomorrow if there's a fortypound nugget in that there washdirt.
Look at the water. If it's like that, I reckon the rest of the creek's just a bed of sand, and there ain't nary a drop
of water between here and the old man's place nary a drop, I'll take my colonial on that."
There was reason in what he said. Go they must, but if they found, as they fondly hoped, gold, it would be a
hard wrench. Kirkham and Morrison were almost too excited to think about eating, but McAlister was of a
cooler nature, and set about making up a fire and boiling the quart pot for tea, just as if the morrow might not
make them owners of untold wealth.
"'Twouldn't be a bad notion," said Sam, as he opened up the last tin of beef, "to clear out right now. We could
say up at the station the place was a dead failure, and the drought cleared us out. Anyhow, no one's like to
come along here weather like this. We can come back after the first rain; we'll find things just the same."
"No," said Morrison, "I'm hanged if I could stand that. I'm going to see what that washdirt's worth if I go all
the eighty miles into your dad's station without one drop of water."
"All right," said Sam, "we'll see you through. But tomorrow we've got to go. We ought to have gone
yesterday."
"All right."
Morrison and Kirkham were too anxious to talk. To Sam McAlister this was just an incident. If they found
gold, well and good; he would have a jolly old spree down south; but it didn't much matter; it would do just
as well six months hence as now, while, if they did not find even the colour, he would be no worse off than
he was before. Born in the bush and bred in the bush, he would be content to ride tracks all the days of his
life; all he wanted was a little more money to make a splash with, and whether he got it or no was not of very
much moment.
But with the other two it was different. They were not bushmen born and bred; they longed for the comforts
and luxuries of civilisation; they had staked everything on this venture. Tomorrow what would tomorrow
bring them? If they had succeeded If they had failed The tinned beef was dry and unpalatable, so it
seemed to Kirkham, and he turned away when Sam handed him the tin to help himself, and went and gazed
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gloomily over the waterhole, which was little more than liquid mud now. Morrison joined him.
"Old man, it's the most cursed luck."
"It is, Ned."
"How much cash have we left?"
"Ten pounds, all told."
"And if this turns out all right God! it must turn up trumps what'll we do till after the rains?"
"Ride tracks for old McAlister or anybody else who'll have us. It's Hobson's choice with us."
Kirkham groaned.
"Don't lose heart, old man," said Allan Morrison, kindly. "I know it's beastly hard on you, but there's always
this hole to fall back upon. It won't take any harm standing still for the next three or four months, and then
and then "
"Suppose it's no good?"
Kirkham's voice was almost a whisper.
"Don't think that don't think that for a moment; but tomorrow'll show, anyhow. We'll get a good sleep
tonight."
It is doubtful whether Morrison did sleep; it is certain Kirkham never closed an eye. It meant so much to him.
Even suppose this claim promised well tomorrow, only just promised suppose it were a certainty, he must
wait at least six months for fruition, and in six months in six months what might not happen? If Nancy
Marsden would not have him, well then he might just as well go to the devil by the quickest road; but
suppose she would suppose she would, and he had to keep her waiting a year, a whole year, without
seeing her. It seemed to him his blood ran cold at the thought. Sweet Nancy, dear Nancy, lovable Nancy,
other men would come wooing her oh, he knew it, he knew it. She would flirt with them, trifle with them
oh, he knew that too, dearly as he loved her, and was there not danger, might she not be won to forget
him? He could hold her, he felt his power over her as long as he were by her side, but was it strong enough to
stretch over these wide leagues that separated them and keep her for himself? He doubted he doubted, and
yet he would hardly acknowledge it even to himself, and he lay on the ground and stared up at the stars,
golden points in the velvet sky; he dug his hands into the hardbaked soil and prayed with all his might
not because he had much faith, but because there was nothing else left to do that tomorrow would at last
bring him a gleam of hope.
And the night wore on slowly slowly; and at last, just as he had fallen into an uneasy doze, up leapt the
sun: the hot, fierce day was upon them again, and Morrison was eagerly calling to him to get up and try their
luck.
There are no toilets in the bush; at least it is certain there were none on Baker's Creek that morning. Kirkham
jumped up fully dressed, stretched himself, ran his fingers through his hair, pulled on his butcher boots, and
joined his cousin and McAlister, who were already standing over the little heap of washdirt they had
brought up the night before. There was no question of washing it; the water left was of the consistency of
thick peasoup, and in quantity would hardly suffice to give them a drink of tea each.
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"We'll have to make shift to dry blow somehow," said Morrison, thoughtfully.
"Do you know the way?" asked Sam McAlister, "for I'm blest if I do."
"Well, I've never seen it done; but I've heard poor Tretherick tell how they used to do it up Mount Brown
way."
"Mount Brown?" asked Kirkham, thoughtfully. Not that he cared in the least where Mount Brown was or
what they did there; but his anxiety was so intense he was ashamed the others should see all that this gold
meant to him.
"Yes, Mount Brown, up Broken Hill way. Haven't you ever heard tell of it? They don't ever look for water in
that Godforsaken place, and they always dry blow. Well, here goes. First of all, I think we want a nice
smooth, hard piece of ground to work up this dirt fine on."
Sam McAlister looked round.
"There's the ticket right in front of the door," he said. "We may as well do it there. The dust'll get into the
drarin'room an' spile the furniture, but as we're amovin' at once that won't matter. Cart it along, old man."
They had no barrow, but they brought the earth along in buckets and upset it at the door; then with their
spades they worked it about till it was as fine as dust.
"What now?" asked Kirkham at length, pausing to wipe his hot forehead.
"We want a little more wind," said Morrison, looking round. "It ain't likely to come for the wanting," said
Sam McAlister. "If we can't do without it we'll have to clear prompt, too. We're stoppin' too long as it is."
"Oh, I daresay we can manage. We've only got two tin dishes, haven't we? Well, we'll have to make shift with
the fryingpan and the billy, or anything else we can lay our hands on. The idea is to put this fine earth into
one tin dish, and holding it high up in the air, pour it down into another. If there's a good high wind it ought
to blow all the fine earth away in time, and, after doing it over and over again till you're pretty well full up of
the job, at last, you come to the gold."
"The devil you do," laughed Sam McAlister. "I hope that last's a true bill. Come on, mates, let's try our luck."
It was very hot, and it was tedious, tiring, dirty work. Soon they were covered in a thick coating of fine red
dust, which got into their eyes and ears, into their hair and beards, and made them cough and sneeze as they
drew it in with every breath. Kirkham and Morrison held each a tin dish and poured steadily from one to the
other, while Sam McAlister made use of the only other available utensils, the fryingpan and the billy, and
poured his little share from one to the other. He worked very rapidly, and soon not a particle of his earth
remained save a few hard little clods, which he piled up discontentedly.
"Say, old man," he said, "it ain't no go at all. My blessed arms air nearly worked out of their sockets, and
there ain't nary a sign."
"I reckon," said Morrison, out of the cloud of red dust that enveloped him and his cousin, "you worked too
fast and chucked it all away if there was any. Easy does it. You don't expect to find a nugget as big as your
fist."
"Well, I'm blest," said Sam, "if I don't, I guess I'd as soon tail cattle all the days of my life as do this sort of
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thing for tucker."
"It won't need to be near as big as your fist to mean a good deal more than tucker," said Morrison, and went
on steadily at his work, while Sam proceeded to clean up the fryingpan as best he could with a view to
breakfast. He had had enough of dry blowing, and concluded to postpone his further researches into the
mysteries of gold mining till he saw the result of his companions' experiment.
The dust around them began to subside a little as the earth grew less and less; at last there was only a handful
of dry little pellets of earth in the bottom of one of the dishes, and Morrison, sitting down on the doorstep,
took it between his knees and began working it through his fingers. It was very close now; his suspense
would soon be over. Begrimed with sweat and dust, Kirkham leaned up against the doorpost and looked at
the little heap of earth growing momentarily less and less under his cousin's fingers.
Nothing near as big as your fist here, nothing as big as your thumb, nothing as big as your little finger. If
there was untold wealth hidden in that claim to the right there, it certainly was not revealing itself to these
seekers for it, even now there was a chance of a competency, and he grew sick with anxiety as he watched it
slowly diminish. How could Sam McAlister whistle so deliberately as he mixed a damper with the little drop
of muddy water that remained to them, how could he whistle as if there was nothing at stake? How trouble to
gather sticks for a fire? Who wanted breakfast this morning? Not Kirkham, certainly, and he stooped forward
and picked up a stick and crushed it to little bits between his fingers. And the earth in the pan was growing
less and less. It was nearly all gone now. He nerved himself for an effort, and bent over Morrison.
"It's no go, old man." His voice sounded to himself hard and strained. "It's tailing cattle for the rest of our
days?" Then, as the other made no answer, "For God's sake, put me out of my misery!"
"There's gold here, Ned," said Morrison, sweeping away the remainder of the earth and showing a few bright
specks at the bottom of the pan, "but it ain't a fortune. It shows it's worth going on with that's all. If we'd
water, I'd be jolly well satisfied. As it is, we can come back after the first rain. It's a show; it's the colour
that's all."
"All our money gone, weeks of work in this Godforsaken place, and two men's lives for the colour," and
Kirkham groaned aloud.
"It isn't so bad, old chap, it really isn't," said Morrison trying to speak cheerfully, though he regarded the
specks of gold somewhat ruefully; "if we only had water and could stop I'd be more than satisfied. There's
gold there, that's certain. Likely there's enough to make a pile for us three if we could only stop,as it is "
"As it is," said Sam McAlister, "there won't be pickings for so much as a crow on the bones of all three of us
if you don't eat your breakfast and start right away for the old man's. The gold won't run away; it'll stop right
there, you can bet, and we'll come back after the rain. Look at Kirkham there looks as glum, don't he, as if
he'd just heard his best gal had chucked him up for the parson cos he couldn't marry her right away. Cheer up,
old man; if it isn't her, there'll be another gal waiting for you. After you haven't seen a woman for a year or
two you won't care a damn which it is, so long as she wears petticoats and ain't your grandmother. Come on,
chaps, vittels is up."
CHAPTER IX. NANCY'S ENGAGEMENT
O swallow, swallow, flying, flying south,
Fly to her and fall upon her gilded eaves,
And tell her, tell her, what I tell to thee.
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Why lingereth she to clothe her heart with love?
Delaying as the tender ash delays
To clothe herself, when all the woods are green?
TENNYSON.
Phoebe Marsden was lying back on the grass, staring up at the bright blue sky. It was getting late, and the
shadows of the trees in the orchard, the apple and cherry and plum trees, were growing longer; but the
sunlight in between was bright and warm. It was a glorious season, and the sward was one mass of pink and
white clover blossoms, the faint breeze brought its perfume to her nostrils, and brought too, to her ears, the
busy hum of her bees hard at work for her.
That unpleasant half hour with her mother, when she had freely expressed views on the subject of marriage in
general, and marriage with Mr Davidson in particular, had marked, it seemed to her, an era in her life. She
had made a great stride that afternoon. Disappointments, troubles, mortifications, all these she knew quite
well might be in store for her; but since that declaration of independence she had not as yet looked at the dark
side of the shield. She was going to succeed she would succeed. She had shaped in outspoken words her
future course; daily it grew into fixed form in her mind, and that was a great step. She could afford to lie on
the grass now for half an hour, watching contentedly the sunshine and the shadow, listening to the humming
of the bees. Nancy came out and crept close to her.
"Why, Phoeb," she said, "how happy you look, and quite goodlooking, too. Really, I never saw you look so
goodlooking before. I believe you'll end up by being the beauty of the family after all."
"I'm nearly twentyfive," laughed Phoebe; and Nancy laughed too.
"After all, a woman's as old as she looks. Phoebe, I want to tell you something."
"Yes, dear." Phoebe settled her arms comfortably under her head and stared at the blue sky, as it showed in
patches through the cherry tree above her. "Yes, dear, what is it?"
"It's a letter from Ned Kirkham," said Nancy, shyly.
"I thought so, I was sure of it," said her sister. "What does he say?"
"He says he says " Nancy came close to her sister and put her lips to her ear, "he says he wants to
to marry me," she finished very slowly.
"Well, I told you that, long ago."
"Ah, but you don't understand. It's so different when he says it," and she drew the letter out of her pocket and
kissed it softly.
Phoebe smiled at her lazily. She envied Nancy generally, but now she was building castles in the air for
herself; albeit love was left out, the envy was not near so keen.
"Dear old Nan!"
"Oh, Phoeb! What am I to say to him? What am I to say to him?"
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"Why, Nan! don't you love him?"
"Of course I do. You know I do. More than anything in the world."
"Then Nan "
"Oh, but Phoebe, he's so poor! He's put every mortal thing he possesses in that claim. It's their only hope he
says, and if the water in the creek gives out, they may not know whether there's whether it's any good for
months to come."
"What does he want you to do?"
"He wants me to be engaged to him," she whispered, "to promise not to marry anybody else; and then, as
soon as he can, he'll write to father, and come down and marry me," and she hid her blushing face against her
sister's arm. "It's such a loving letter," she whispered. "Oh, he must care a lot."
Phoebe transferred her arm to her sister's neck, and raising herself up stooped over her and kissed her fondly.
"I'm so glad, dear you know I am."
"But, Phoebe, you haven't told me what I'm to say."
"Say! what is there to say? I don't suppose he'll mind much how you put it, so long as you wait for him.
That's the main thing."
"If he gets the gold, he may be very rich," said Nancy, cuddling up to her sister in an ecstacy of delicious
expectation.
"Yes, yes. Oh, he's pretty sure to get the gold! Mr Morrison would be sure to know all about it."
"But if he doesn't, Phoeb! Oh, he mayn't! He says himself he mayn't."
"That will be hard," said Phoebe, thoughtfully. "You'll have to make up your mind to wait then."
"He says he wouldn't ask me. It might be such a long time in that case before he had anything to offer he
couldn't ask me to wait."
"Of course he couldn't," said Phoebe. "Poor fellow! I suppose he thinks it would be an awfully selfish thing to
do. But you can tell him you'll wait all the same."
"It may be years and years and years," said Nancy, with tears in her voice.
"Poor old girl! poor old girl!" kissing her gently. "Oh, I hope it won't be as bad as that."
"And he doesn't ask me to wait. Do you think he wants me to?"
"Why, of course. He'll say you're the dearest little girl in the world."
"But oh, the waiting, Phoebe! I'll get old and ugly, and perhaps he mightn't care for me when he saw me
again. And suppose he never came. Suppose I was left an old maid without any money or anything."
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"He'll come, Nanny, he'll come. He loves you! oh, I saw how he loves you!"
Nancy kissed her sister gratefully. She liked to be told Ned Kirkham loved her; but still she was not satisfied.
"Mr Sampson," she began, hesitating.
"Oh, I know, Nanny; but you mustn't flirt with him so. It isn't fair, when you know you love Ned Kirkham.
You ought to let him know it, too. He's a good fellow."
"He is bald," laughed Nancy, a little hysterically. "See what Ned Kirkham has saved me from. I know he
would have asked me, Phoebe, and I know as well as possible I would have said 'yes.'"
"Oh, Nan! When you don't love him! And you do love another man!"
"It's not much good having a lover away in North Australia, with no prospect of his ever coming back that I
can see," and Nancy was downhearted again.
"Oh, Nancy! it is hard, I know; but as long as there is a man somewhere in the world that you do love, you
couldn't think of marrying anybody else, could you?"
"N o o," said Nancy, dubiously. "Still, if a man is a long way off, and you don't see him for months
and months, it gets to be a sort of dream, I suppose, just like you think about travelling, or being rich. You
sort of understand how nice it would be if you could get it, but you ain't likely to get it, and so "
"And so what?" asked Phoebe, for Nancy had paused.
"And so you marry the man who comes along, and get along all right," said Nancy.
"Oh, Nan! that seems to me a dreadful thing to say, when you know how Ned Kirkham loves you; and I
expect he's just counting the days till he gets your answer."
"Poor boy!" sighed Nancy, "oh, if he were only here. Oh, I love him I love him! you just don't know how I
love him, Phoebe!"
"Don't I? Well, just write to him and tell him that. That's all he'll want."
"Oh, Phoeb! if he were only here."
"Nanny, it's really time to get the children's tea."
"Bother the tea!"
"But Nan "
"And if one married a poor man, life would be one succession of getting children's teas."
"But this particular tea, Nan."
"Bother!" and Nancy took out her letter and began reading it again, while her sister, lying still beside her,
wondered just a little did she really care for this man. How would it be if he found no gold, and she had to
wait for years, perhaps? No, though Nancy had almost cried over his letter, though she had protested, "I
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love him, I love him," Phoebe thought she would not give much for Ned Kirkham's chances if he did not get
gold, and that soon. And she sighed, for Nancy was a dear little companion, and would make him a loving
wife; but the chances were against her being Ned Kirkham's wife, she thought, and she watched the shadows
grow longer and longer, and wished her sister would stop reading her lover's letter, and go in and see about
the children's tea. But she made no sign.
Phoebe wondered if she were very selfish not to go. She had never had a love letter in her life, perhaps if she
had she too would be oblivious to all mundane things. She was very sure, though, she would never have
given a thought to another man had the man she loved but cared for her, while Nancy, for all her delight
"Girls, girls," Mrs Marsden had come to the orchard fence, "do remember the children's tea. Your father will
be home in less than twenty minutes."
Nancy looked across at Phoebe beseechingly, she still held her letter close to her face, and her sister saw that
there were tears in her eyes.
Then Phoebe rose up and went towards the house. It wasn't much to do for Nancy after all.
That night Phoebe could not sleep. The blind was drawn up, and she lay watching the pattern made by the
waving branches of the big pine tree outside her window on the moonlit wall. Such fantastic shapes those
waving branches took, but they did not help settle her troubled thoughts.
First there was Nancy. What a queer girl she was. If any man had loved her Phoebe like that, she was
sure she would have waited years for him, have risked everything, have been wild with happiness, that is,
supposing he was a man like Ned Kirkham, a man she loved in return. Allan Morrison she grew hot all
over at the bare thought, though it was dark in her corner, away from the moonlight yes, she would have
loved him very dearly indeed, but he had never given her a second thought, and now he had gone away. She
was glad he was gone. Somehow it was a relief. She could not be always on the look out for him,
disappointed if she did not see him, still more disappointed if, as most frequently happened, she did see him,
and he had eyes and ears for no one but Nancy. Yes, she was glad he was gone very glad. In her heart was
the craving natural to most of us to love and be loved, but she pushed it aside. It was a good thing she knew,
but it was not for her. All her own family, and she had no one to appeal to against them, had fully decided
that no man would love her, that she was singularly unattractive, and the family faith cost her many a secret
tear; but of late a new hope had taken possession of her. If she could only earn her own living, if she could
only be independent, what a difference it would make. Suppose she had a house of her own one woman
it would not take much surely to make one woman, with no one dependent on her, comfortable and
welltodo. A house of her own, where she could do as she pleased, entertain her own friends in her own
way, make it dainty and pretty and nice and be her own mistress. The idea had great charms for her. A
woman of twentyfour ought to be independent, she ought not to be in leadingstrings, obliged to submit
smiling to the unfavourable criticism of her younger brothers and sisters. If she were only independent she
believed, she firmly believed she would be a better woman in every way, more attractive, too, probably; and
if in years to come Allan Morrison were to come back and find her a welltodo, welldressed woman,
established in her own home, who knows, he might he might Nancy would be out of the way then, and
anyhow, he had always liked talking to her. And then she drew herself up sharply, and laughed aloud in the
night. What lengths her dreaming was carrying her. She had decided she would give up thinking of Allan
Morrison, and here she was weaving him into her dreams, making him in fact the reward of her success, and
as yet she had not sold a drop of honey, and did not know whether she could sell it. Very resolutely she
turned her mind to ways and means.
One pound, thirteen and fourpence, her father had given her a cheque for a month's allowance last night, with
a heavy sigh and a remark that he did not know whether the bank would cash his cheque, but she might try.
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She had not much fear of that; she was glad enough to get the money so soon, and the remark was only one of
his unpleasant little ways, one of the ways that made her long so ardently to earn her own living. Then there
was seven shillings she had saved, goodness knows how, from last month's allowance; nearly two pounds,
and she racked her brains to think of the best way to lay it out.
Her boots must be soled, that was imperative, and that would cost at least four shillings; and a smoker, that
would cost, she thought, five shillings. Nine shillings gone of her little hoard. Then about a dress. A new
dress she must have. She would dare to offer her honey for sale, but something told her to at least be as well
dressed as possible. Well, she would have a new butcher blue gingham. That would suit her. She knew where
she could get one at ninepence a yard; twelve yards, that would be another nine shillings gone, but she would
want nothing else, she would make it herself, and use up the linings and buttons off her old dresses. Yes,that
would do very well, she must only go in to Ballarat on fine, hot days, but she thought she could easily
manage that. Then about a hat. Would a shilling sailor do? A shilling sailor with a band of broad blue ribbon
round it? She debated this question a long time, and finally decided a shilling hat would do if only she could
get one with a broad brim; she must have a broad brim to suit her face, and then she laughed to herself to
think of all the trouble she was taking to impress the people she hoped to sell her honey to. And again she
thought of Allan Morrison, if it had not been for him she never would have thought of taking pains with her
personal appearance at all. Would it really make any difference whether she looked nice or not, but anyhow,
her pride would not allow her to go untidy or shabby. And there was a whole pound of her little store laid out;
with the other pound and with the money she would get for her honey should she be able to buy a frame hive?
And how was she to get the honey out of the comb? This was a knotty question, and she debated it
thoroughly, forgetting meantime Allan Morrison and her dress difficulties, and Nancy and her unsatisfactory
love affairs, till she heard the clock in the next room strike two, and immediately decided she would give up
all thought of sleep that night, whereupon, of course, she fell sound asleep and never wakened till her mother
stood over her, querulously complaining that it was Nancy's turn to skim the milk, and that nobody was
awake though it was halfpast six, and their father had been up the last hour.
Phoebe gave one glance at sleeping Nancy. Had she too lain awake half the night thinking of her absent lover,
wondering when he would come to her? Then she got up quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping girl, and
skimmed the milk for her.
Her father was not particularly pleased when his eldest daughter asked to be driven into town with him. He
never seemed pleased to take them into town, and yet he provided no other way of getting there.
Phoebe had hesitated between her last summer's wornout print and her shabby winter dress, but the weather
was not very warm and the winter dress had won the day. Still, she felt painfully shabby as she stepped into
the buggy, and knew her father's disapproving eye was upon her. Her collar and cuffs were clean and
spotless, but the effect of a shabby and somewhat faded purple merino trimmed with velveteen on a bright
sunny day is not appreciably altered by the cleanest and most spotless of linen cuffs and collars. Her father
thought her dowdy and shabby and unpresentable, and his looks proclaimed his opinion. And she herself felt
downhearted. Her wakeful night had left her tired out, and there was not a trace of the hopeful
lightheartedness of yesterday and the night before. It is to be feared if Mr Davidson had come along and
proposed to her any time during that eight mile drive into town beside her silent father, he would have only
have had to promise to dress her well for the future, to be accepted with alacrity. But, luckily for her, he did
not come, and once freed from her father's overpowering presence she really enjoyed her shopping
expedition. The butcher blue gingham was bought, and bought for eightpence a yard, too, so that left her with
an extra shilling, and made the expenditure of one and sixpence on a sailor hat quite a saving. She was really
pleased with her purchases, and then she went and spent the rest of her day with kindhearted Mrs Moore,
who seemed to like to have her sitting quietly there, allowed her to help make her children's clothes, and
never by word or deed reminded her that she was a dead failure in the social world. Indeed, to hear Mrs
Moore talk you would have fancied Phoebe was quite an entertaining person. She told her all about her
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schemes, and her friend was sympathetic, if a little surprised.
"I don't know, Phoebe," she said, "it seems a funny sort of idea. But in one way I think you're quite right.
Very few women could carry it out, though. But you're very patient and persevering, and you're just the sort
to succeed if anybody could. It means giving up a good lot, though. Most girls would be wanting to go to
parties and tennis and young men."
"Well, I haven't got any temptations in that line, you see." laughed Phoebe.
"Well it's a good thing, just at present. There'll be plenty of time for that afterwards, when you succeed.
You're young yet."
"Am I really? This is the only place ever I feel so, then. At home I feel as old as the hills."
"Now, Phoebe, for goodness sake don't go on like that. Your mother's just foolish to go on telling you you're
old. You will be young when you're forty. Half the girls in this place spend their lives by deciding they won't
be able to enjoy anything after they're threeandtwenty, and then, in order to make the most of life, they
crowd so much dissipation into the five years between that and eighteen they're generally quite right. I don't
know whether English people are the same, but Australian women certainly do their best to act up to their
fixed belief that a woman is old and worn out at thirty. It is all nonsense, it really is; she ought to be in her
prime. They get married at eighteen, and fancy they are on the shelf if nobody has come along by time they
reach your age. It's wicked, it's positively wicked. I suppose in the old days the mothers all married so young
and so uneducated, they bring their daughters up to think they ought to follow in their footsteps."
"Why, you married before you were eighteen yourself!"
"So I did. And it was a dreadful risk. I'd have married anybody with a straight nose and curly hair. Luckily
those belonged to Tom, and he looked after me and educated me, and gave me all my ideas. Indeed, anything
that is worth anything in me is due to Tom. But he is just one in a thousand, and I don't think others ought to
run such risks. Do you, now?"
"I'm not in the least likely to," said Phoebe.
"And a good thing too. You stick to your bees. If you go into it with your whole heart, and work at it for love,
you see it will make life a different thing for you. Women don't recognise that yet, but it's true all the same."
"You do comfort me," said Phoebe. "Mother is afraid I'll lose caste, as she calls it, and that nobody will ever
care to speak to me again."
"What nonsense! You stick to your work for the next two or three years. It doesn't matter nowadays what a
welldressed, entertaining, young woman does, every one is glad to talk to her and fall in love with her too,'
she added archly, as if she had divined the bitterest drop in the cup of the girl before her."
Phoebe flushed hotly.
"I'm bound to do something," she said. "It's ridiculous to talk of anybody falling in love with me, because
nobody ever did, and I don't suppose anybody ever will, and you see I can't go on like this for ever. It gets
harder to get anything every month, and I think father grudges the money more. Perhaps he has less, poor
thing. Anyhow, you see it is a case of must with me. It won't do to be a lonely old maid dependent on my
brothers."
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Mrs Moore nodded her head approvingly.
"Only," Phoebe laughed a little, "you wouldn't believe how hard it is to begin. All sorts of unexpected little
difficulties crop up."
"How?"
"Well, there's plenty of honey in those hives, I'm sure. I can cut out the comb by using a smoker, but how on
earth am I to get the honey out of the combs?"
"How do other people do it?"
"Oh, people who sell honey usually have frame hives, and then they lift out a frame of comb and put it in the
extractor. I have a little book which tells you all about it, beautifully, but it never seems to have struck it that
anybody could be so benighted as to use old gin cases, or that any one could be so hard up as not to be able to
raise the two pounds ten shillings for an extractor."
Mrs Moore laughed.
"Just like the cookery books, isn't it?" she said. "They will persist in telling you how to stuff a turkey with
truffles, when you haven't got either a turkey or truffles, and what you really want to know is how to use up
your cold leg of mutton. But can you get the honey out in the comb all right?"
"Oh, yes. I think it will look fairly well, and I'm sure it will be very good to eat."
"Well, why don't you sell it just like that for the present, till you have saved up enough to buy frame hives?
My old fruit woman had some honey in the comb in her shop the other day, and it looked so nice. I daresay
she would buy it from you, or, I tell you what, I'll buy it from you myself."
"No, no," Phoebe sat up very straight. "This is to be on a strictly business basis. I'd much rather sell to your
fruit woman, thank you all the same."
"Very well, mind you come and tell me how you get on."
"Indeed I will," said Phoebe. "That suggestion of yours is a Godsend to me. You wouldn't believe how that
has been bothering me. But I'll take your advice, and I will come in and see your old woman as soon as my
dress is ready."
CHAPTER X. PHOEBE BEGINS WORK
The modern majesty consists in work. What a man can do is his greatest ornament, and he
always consults his dignity by doing it. CARLYLE
Next morning Phoebe was up with the lark. She had skimmed the milk and washed the dishes, and was out
among the bees before even her early rising father appeared upon the scene.
The morning was bright and fresh and exhilarating, the sun had just risen, and was peeping through the trees,
making every little drop of dew on the blades of grass sparkle like a diamond. She had put on a hat with a big
mosquito net veil, and a pair of gloves, and, having set her new smoker going, was all anxiety to get her first
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good look at her bees. It seemed rather rough and ready to turn the hive upside down, but there was no other
way of doing it. She lifted it over on to its side smartly, and was pleased to find how heavy it was, put it
down carefully, and puffed the smoke in among the combs. Then she felt a little despairing. She might shake
out the bees into another box; she could easily with a knife cut out all that comb; but how was she to tell with
her limited experience where was most honey and where most brood, and it was sheer waste to cut out the
brood comb. Then she put that hive back in its place and went on to the next. All were busy and full. Some
she thought would be swarming soon. There were so many bees, there was so much honey comb, there must
surely be a little money in them, she thought, if only she knew how to manage properly. Then she put down
the last hive, let her smoker go out, and, going into the diningroom, where the family never sat, took the
tablecloth off the table and set to work on her new dress, pondering the while how best she was to manage
her hives. Her father came in and grumbled at the untidiness of the yard and the lateness of the rest of the
family, but she paid no attention. She was too deep in her dreams; some day she would show him how yards
could be kept tidy without a single growl, and by the time her mother came in to fretfully complain it was
twenty minutes past eight and Annie hadn't even begun to lay the breakfast table yet, a remark which Phoebe
knew was passed on from her father, the all important dress was cut out, and the body tacked ready for fitting,
and she had fully decided to cut away all the outside comb in her hives, leaving just an island of comb in the
middle for the bees to begin again upon. She did not know much about it, but that seemed to her a rational
way. Then she cheerfully folded up her work and went into the schoolroom to urge on the dilatory Annie, and
finally to lay the table herself. And she did it so cheerfully, too, that her mother was surprised. After all, what
did it matter. Perhaps in a year or two she would be rich enough to have a table of her own to lay.
In due course that dress was finished. She sacrificed the cream ribbon from her only ball dress for a sash and
to trim her hat; but what did it matter, she did not intend to go to any more balls, and for the same reason she
felt that her one pair of long tan evening gloves they were not worn at all, that was one advantage of
having no partners would do admirably to finish her costume, and then she proclaimed her intention of
going into town the first warm day.
The family were more doleful and dissatisfied with their lot in life than usual, for Stanley had just come home
for his vacation; he had been ploughed for the December exams. The young gentleman was much aggrieved
thereat, he considered it was the examiners' fault entirely. Mr Marsden was also much annoyed. Whose fault
he considered it, Phoebe would have found it hard to tell, but he made the whole family suffer, and her
mother would have thought it unkind to be cheerful in the face of such a catastrophe. Nancy was abstracted
and anxious, thinking, thought Phoebe, about that absent lover of hers, and so it happened that only she and
the children were in their normal condition. Indeed, she, full of her new hopes, was far more contented and
amiable, far more forbearing and thoughtful than the children had ever found her.
"Phoebe's getting quite goodlooking," said Lydia, thoughtfully, at the breakfast table, when the longedfor
hot morning had at last arrived, and Phoebe in the new dress, with her hair carefully done up on top of her
head, was pouring out the family coffee. "Phoeb's getting quite goodlooking. I believe somebody might
come along and fall in love with her after all."
"Go on," said Stanley, his mouth full of eggs and bacon, "girls must be getting mighty scarce then."
"Hush, Lyd," said Phoebe, looking gratefully at her nevertheless. "One isn't always thinking of getting
married."
"That's lucky," said Stanley, "for some folks I know wouldn't have much chance."
"You're quite right there," said Phoebe, serenely. "Women have a way of expecting a man to keep them, don't
they? And some folks at the present rate of progress won't be able to do that for many a long year to come."
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She felt it was very mean of her, but Stanley was always girding at her for her want of attractions, and the
only way to silence him was to carry the war into the enemy's country.
"Much you know about what other women want. You only know about enough to go pottering around those
bees of yours."
"Anyhow," said Phoebe, sharply, "when I go in for a thing I give my mind to it, and do manage to know
something about my job. If you applied that rule "
"Oh, go on, I always said you were about fit to be an old market woman."
"I " began Phoebe, beginning to be ruffled, when her father struck in crossly
"I hate this constant wrangle, wrangle, wrangle. The place is like a bear garden."
"Phoebe!" said her mother, fretfully. She always blamed Phoebe. Stanley, she knew, would not have allowed
her to blame him, and Phoebe subsided behind the coffeepot, and was more convinced than ever in her own
mind that she was doing right in making some effort for herself.
And it was not easy.
She and her father, a silent and uncongenial pair, arrived in Ballarat by halfpast nine; he went straight to the
office and she left the livery stables, where they put their horse up, and wandered slowly into Sturt Street,
trying to brace herself for her first plunge into business. It was very hot, though it was so early; there was no
wind, and the tall gum trees in the middle of the street cast long, slim shadows, and over on Warrenheip a
long line of smoke rose up straight into the sky. So, a bush fire; it was only what was to be expected at this
season; soon the country would be dried up, and there would be no food for her poor bees. She ought to begin
at once, but it was so hard. There was the largest confectioner's shop in Ballarat, the Vienna Cafe, right
opposite, and she ought to begin there. They sold honey and cakes and all manner of sweet things; they must
buy from somebody why not from her? and she crossed over and looked in the window. How could she
screw up her courage? The bride cake in the window wavered and danced before her eyes, and the cherries
and the strawberries, and the pots of jam and honey were mixing themselves up in one indistinguishable
mass. It was such an everyday thing, a thing that was done over and over again by the majority of her
fellowcreatures, why was she such a fool. Mr Sampson, her sister's wouldbe lover, came along, and
slackened his pace as he came up with her, and she grew crimson, feeling he must divine her errand,
wondering would he scorn her for it as her mother had said every man would. As he came up she turned away
abruptly and entered the shop. At least she would carry herself well, as Allan Morrison had recommended,
and she approached the counter, holding her head in the air.
"And what can I do for you, Miss?" asked the woman behind.
Poor Phoebe's face grew crimson, and her heart beat so that she could hardly hear herself speak. For a
moment she hesitated. Should she ask for sixpennyworth of buns and wait for another time till the shop was
empty, perhaps? The people standing round would hear her now. Then Stanley's scornful speeches came into
the mind, the general discomfort of her home life, and the conviction that she was at least suitably dressed for
once sustained her.
"I wanted to know," she said, and she was surprised to find it was easier than she had thought, "if you wanted
to buy any honey in the comb?"
"Section boxes?" asked the woman, as if it were a matter of everyday occurrence with her, and Phoebe was
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at her ease at once. "Well, he does sometimes buy section boxes. He bought a lot last month."
"No, mine's not in boxes," said Phoebe, "I haven't started them yet. I'm just getting rid of the old honey first.
It's very good," she said, boldly, "very clean and nice," and she wondered where she got her confidence, "and,
of course, as I want to get rid of it, I would let you have it a little cheaper."
"Have you much?"
"About two kerosene tins full," answered Phoebe at a venture. It struck her it would be very unbusinesslike
not to know how much she had for sale.
"And what might you be wanting for it?"
This was business, and she began to feel happy, and to feel that selling honey was not so terrible after all, but
she hadn't the faintest idea of its value.
"What do you give?" she asked, and prided herself upon her smartness.
"Well, it's hard to say. He generally buys it himself. We do give fourpence a pound for the pure honey."
"But this is in the comb," said Phoebe, hardly knowing whether that fact would advance or detract from its
value.
"Some folks likes it in the comb, and some don't," said the woman, thoughtfully, rubbing her fingers up and
down a glass full of sponge cakes. "I don't know whether he'd be buying, I'm sure. I might tell him when he
comes in if you'd let me know the price."
"It ought to be worth eightpence a pound," said Phoebe, and then wondered if she had spoiled her chance by
asking too much.
"I dunno as he'd give that," said the woman, "specially when he ain't seen it. You might bring in a sample
next time you're passing. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Not today, thank you," said Phoebe, and walked out of the shop, hardly knowing whether she had failed or
not.
One thing she was glad of, she had made the plunge, it would not be so difficult to ask at the next shop.
But the next shop said no, unconditionally, they never thought of buying honey in that way, and Phoebe
continued her course up the street a little less hopefully, and the next shop said no, and the next and the next
and the next. She began to be tired and downhearted, to realise the weariness of carrying round wares which
nobody wanted to buy. Did nobody eat honey? It looked like it. Would she have to go home and confess
herself beaten? Then there would be nothing at all for her to look forward to in life, nothing at all, all her
pretty castles in the air were coming toppling about her ears. Stanley would be right, she was good for
nothing, she might just as well make up her mind to be a household drudge for the rest of her days. But no,
she would not give in, somebody must eat honey, somebody must buy, and she walked straight up Sturt
Street and turned into every little shop on her way. It was her only chance, she would leave no stone
unturned, and every little shop said no, more or less decidedly.
Opposite the hospital there was a grocer's shop, and she turned in there for a change. All her shyness had
entirely departed, she did not mind asking in the least, only it was so disheartening to be refused.
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The shop was empty, and the man behind the counter came smiling up to her.
"Do you want to buy any honey?" she asked, and waited for the usual reply.
"Well, no," he said, "I don't know as I do myself. But there was a lady in only this morning asking if I could
tell her where she could buy honey in the comb only this very morning. She thought maybe some of my
country customers, those that brings me in eggs and butter, might have some to sell."
Phoebe's face flushed crimson. Here was a chance. But this "lady," who was she? She might ask in the shops
if they would buy, but she could not hawk her wares round from door to door. She would not mind writing to
her, though, if she got her address, and her face flushed and her voice trembled as she asked "Who is she?
Where does she live?" and she tried to speak as if it were a matter of perfect indifference to her, as if she had
been selling honey all her life.
The grocer wiped his hands on his black calico apron, came round the counter to the doorway and pointed up
the street.
"Mrs Hanson," he said, "she's a cousin of mine on the mother's side," and Phoebe's spirits rose. She would not
mind bargaining with the grocer's cousin.
"Keeps a little fruit shop," he went on. "She made a bad bargain somehow, and her man hardly manages to
hold up his end of the stick, so she's got to look pretty spry. Her customers has all been asking for honey in
the comb it seems lately."
It was such a little bit of brightness, but Phoebe held up her head at once. Eightpence a pound! she would
gladly take fourpence a pound now, only to make a beginning and sell it. She turned to her grocer friend
gratefully
"Thank you so much," she said.
"You're very welcome, miss. I hope you'll be able to come to terms with my cousin. It's a great thing for a
poor struggling woman like her to keep her customers and be able to please them."
"Oh, my honey is good, I know," laughed Phoebe, cheerfully, and she turned out into the blazing sunshine
again and went straight for Mrs Hanson's.
Honey! yes, three or four of Mrs Hanson's customers had been asking for it lately. She didn't know what had
come over them. They never did it before.
"And how much might you have to sell?"
"About two kerosene tins full," hesitated Phoebe, because really she had not the faintest idea how much she
had.
"But haven't you any in the comb?" and Phoebe, with a beating heart, because this really looked like business,
and if this is the only thing you have got it is quite as exciting selling your honey as selling your book,
explained exactly what she had got, and finally without hesitation asked eightpence a pound for it.
The woman shook her head. She was a weary, tired, fretful looking woman, and in the room behind the
curtained glass door a baby kept up a perpetual screaming.
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"It's too much, these hard times. I couldn't get more than ninepenceha'penny a pound for it."
"Well," said Phoebe, "I think that is very good, considering you'll have no trouble about it. And your
customers are asking for it."
"But I haven't seen it."
"It's good, I know," she said with confidence, the confidence of ignorance. "I'll tell you what. I'll send you in
a kerosene tin full tomorrow, and if you don't like it, I'll take it back."
"Or perhaps take a little less," suggested the woman.
"Oh, no," said Phoebe, and she wondered where she was getting her sharpness; "I wouldn't care to sell for
less. I'll take it back if you don't like it."
"Send it tomorrow, then," said the woman, opening the door behind her and calling out "hush, hush," to the
screaming baby, and "Jane, Jane," to some unseen feminine who was apparently neglecting her duties with
regard to that baby.
"Good morning," said Phoebe, and walked out of the shop with a light heart.
She had made the first step, she had succeeded, and it seemed as if all she most desired were within her reach.
She turned back now and walked down the hot wide street, and when she met Mr Sampson held out her hand
and spoke to him cheerfully. Had not Lydia said she looked quite goodlooking this morning? It was the new
dress, and now another new dress was quite within her reach.
"Good morning, Miss Marsden," he said, in his stiff wooden manner, which always made Phoebe wonder
how he ever came to be Mrs Moore's brother. "I've just met your father. He's looking for you everywhere. I
think he wants to go out home."
"Oh, dear!" Phoebe started uncomfortably. "I must go at once then. Is he at the stables?"
"He was. I don't know where he is now. I shouldn't like to say," said Mr Sampson with a faint smile, and she
interpreted it to mean he was in a worse temper than usual.
"Goodbye, then," and disregarding the heat it was past one o'clock now she set off almost at a run. It
was no light thing in the Marsden family to keep the head of the house waiting.
He was cross of course, very cross, Phoebe expected no less. He had told her when they parted he would not
be ready to leave town till five, and then suddenly finding it more convenient to go at one, his temper was
ruffled because she could be found nowhere.
"Come on, come on," he said when he caught sight of her, "wherever have you been? I've been sending all
over the town for you. We ought to have started an hour ago."
And Phoebe restrained the answer that rose to her lips. What was the good? Her father was angry, he would
be out of temper with an angel from heaven, and she was thankful, oh, so thankful, she had at least made a
beginning on her own account. And after all she too was glad to go home early, she would be able now to get
that honey ready for sending into town at once. So if he were silent on the way out, for once in her life
Phoebe did not feel ill at ease, and by the time she got home had actually forgotten she had committed any sin
at all. Therefore it surprised her when she heard her father complain to her mother, as she came out on the
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verandah to meet them, that if it hadn't been for Phoebe, he would have been out an hour sooner.
"I didn't know, you see," explained Phoebe, cheerfully, and her mother opened her eyes in astonishment; "I
never intended to turn up till five o'clock, and if I hadn't met Mr Sampson who told me father was waiting for
me, I don't believe I should."
Nancy came out and raised her eyebrows. The idea of Phoebe talking as cheerfully as if she hadn't committed
the serious offence of keeping the family tyrant waiting a good hour.
Phoebe gathered up her things hastily and ran into their room, there was no good in stopping to hear her own
delinquencies, and Nancy followed her.
"Well, Phoeb, you look a good deal more cheerful on it than I should dare do. Fancy keeping the governor
waiting!"
"It was quite an accident," said Phoebe. "I hadn't the slightest idea he would be wanting to start so early."
"Even though it was an accident, I would have been frightened, and you don't seem to mind a bit."
"Nan, I've sold my honey."
"What!"
"I have really. Eightpence a pound! Just think of that," and undemonstrative Phoebe suddenly seized her
sister round the waist and waltzed round the room with her.
"But, Phoebe," began Nancy, "eightpence a pound! It's impossible."
"No, it isn't, no, it isn't. It is an accomplished fact. Do you wonder I don't mind much about father being
cross. Why, it just suits me to come home early. It's just what I wanted him to do. I'll be able to get the honey
all ready now and go over and see Bateman about taking it in. Nan, you don't know how nice it feels to find
your time is really of importance."
"But tell me all about it, Phoebe?"
And Phoebe, nothing loth, began at the beginning and told all her anxieties, changing her dress meanwhile,
and bringing the relation to a triumphant conclusion as she put her new hat away and carefully folded up the
ribbons of her sash.
"And you see it's a beginning, Nan. Once I get into the swim and can afford frame hives, I'll begin to make
money."
And then with one fell swoop Nancy disposed of her sister's castles in the air.
"Well, Phoeb," she said, "you are an old donkey. You are the blindest old goose I ever saw. Don't you see.
Mrs Hanson is Mrs Moore's fruit woman, and she has been asking for honey there just so as to give you a
helping hand."
"Oh, Nancy!"
Poor Phoebe. There was no doubt about it. Nancy was right. How was it she had never thought of it before.
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Mrs Moore had created a fictitious demand for her, that was all, and she could not hope it would last beyond
a week or two. And here she had been hoping this was the beginning of better things. The tears came into her
eyes and welled over on to her cheeks, as she thought of the decided manner in which all the shops up Sturt
Street had said 'no' to her. And she had hoped to make her living by selling honey. What a fool she was!
"Now, Phoebe, don't cry," said Nancy. "I don't see it makes any difference. You can sell it all the same and
get the money, which is the main thing."
"Yes, but don't you see that's not the demand which I wanted."
"Never you mind. Perhaps there will be in time. When they find how good your honey is, they will tell all
their friends, and their friends will tell their friends, and that will be quite enough for you at first. You don't
want the whole colony to go in for honey yet awhile. Now I'm sure that's the way you would argue yourself.
Don't be a duffer."
"It's so difficult to see for yourself," said Phoebe, drying her eyes. "Anyhow I suppose I may as well sell this
lot, and I've got to get it ready. Do come and help me, Nancy, that's a good girl."
Phoebe's first wild excitement had passed away. Her high hopes had received a blighting blow, but still there
was a joy in getting that honey and honeycomb ready for sale. She had had everything ready some time ago,
and now she and Nancy went to the first hive, used the new smoker with vigour and shook out all the bees
into another box. Then Phoebe carried away the hive to the other end of the orchard and very carefully cut
away the outside combs and laid them in a large flat earthernware milk dish. Then she carried back her hive,
shook back the bees again, and felt proud and elated when she looked at her honeycomb. After all she thought
people must want to buy this if they only saw how nice it looked.
"Are the children down the paddocks?" she asked, looking around anxiously. "They will want some if they
see it, it looks so nice, and I will never have the heart to say no."
"You will be a silly if you don't," said Nancy, philosophically. "Those boys will gobble that dish up in no
time and never even say thank you. You get the money and be well dressed and they will think a deal more of
you than if you gave them every mortal thing you possessed and looked shabby. That's the unpleasant way
with brothers, I find. Shall we put that honey in the kerosene tin?"
"No, not yet. We'll carry it into the dairy and look it all over first. I must take care, you know, that there isn't
any food or eggs or beebread, or whatever they call it, among it."
It was very carefully looked over that honeycomb by two sets of ignorant, anxious eyes, and yet it is to be
feared that Mrs Moore and her family, who, as Nancy rightly suspected, were the real purchasers of that
honey, ate more than their share of eggs and pollen; but as they were none the wiser, perhaps it didn't matter.
When Phoebe was satisfied it was quite clean and freed from all objectionable matter, she emptied her milk
dish into the kerosene tin and went out and robbed the second hive.
It was new work to her, and even in skilled hands it would have been a long and tedious process, so that
Nancy had quite lost her interest, and was tired out long before the third hive was robbed and the kerosene tin
full. Phoebe weighed it carefully on the big scales in the dairy.
"Thirtyfive pounds!" she said, triumphantly. "Only three hives, you see, Nan, and at sixpence a pound that
will be seventeen and sixpence, and at twopence a pound that'll be fiveandtenpence
twentythreeandfourpence. My goodness, Nan!"
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"I wish you wouldn't say 'my goodness,' Phoebe," said Mrs Marsden's fretful voice in the doorway. "When
will you learn those sort of expressions are so unladylike?"
"Never, mother, never," said Phoebe, with a touch of impatience in her voice, "I ain't a lady any longer. I'm a
honey woman. I have sold all that honey. At least I think I have. And if they take it I'm to get over a pound
for it. What do you think of that?"
"But where, Phoebe? To who?" asked her mother, regardless of grammar.
"To Mrs Hanson, the fruit shop just beyond the hospital, you know," said Phoebe, somewhat unkindly
enjoying her poor mother's shocked face.
They were so opposite, those two. Mrs Marsden, with her strong feeling that a lady, a woman of the upper
classes, demeaned herself if she stepped outside the bounds of her home, if she strove for independence in the
slightest degree, could not but be shocked that a daughter of hers should have gone from shop to shop, as
Phoebe apparently had, bargaining like any farmer's wife with fowls to sell, and Phoebe was utterly at a loss
to understand her mother's feelings. Those sort of feelings seemed to her all nonsense when you let them
stand in the way of your comfort, and she rather delighted in shocking her mother.
"You ought to be pleased, mother," she laughed, "at seeing your daughter in a fair way to earn an honest
living for herself. Think of my old age."
"I would so far rather see you comfortably married," and she sighed. "How is it? Other people's daughters
marry and I suppose you have the same chances as they do."
Phoebe took a board and put it over her honey, and then walked out of the dairy hanging her head in the old
sullen manner.
"I don't care, mother," she said. "It seems to me a far more decent thing to sell honey, even if you have to go
into shops and ask them to buy, than to go on thinking of nothing else for ever and ever except marrying.
Nan, keep the key of the dairy, will you, there's a dear, so those boys won't get at the honey, and I'll go over
and see Bateman about taking it into town."
CHAPTER XI. POOR NED KIRKHAM
Some for the Glories of This World; and some
Sigh for the Prophet's Paradise to come;
Ah, take the Cash, and let the Credit go,
Nor heed the rumble of a distant Drum!
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
And that honey was a success. Phoebe thought she never had felt so proud and glad in her life as when Mrs
Hanson handed over to her £1 3s she forgot the fourpence and asked her if she could let her have
some.
"I sold it all that very day," she said, without a change in her dreary, hopeless tones. "There was a many a
askin' for it, and I promised to try and get them some more."
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"I can let you have about as much again," said Phoebe, trying to make her tones sound businesslike, and to
eliminate the elation from them. It was certainly not business to be so pleased over selling her honey. She
ought to try and behave as if it were an everyday occurrence; and then she added, a little regretfully, "I'm
afraid that'll be all for some time."
"Well, well," said Mrs Hanson; "when you have any more you might let me have the refusal of it. It's a new
thing, you see, and it sorter takes."
And Phoebe walked down the street feeling as if the world lay before her. She would change places with no
woman now. She added up the cash she had in hand, and found it amounted to £2 4s, and therefore she
walked straight to the post office, and sent off a postcard to Melbourne, asking for a price list of bee
requisites. Another £1 3s would bring her cash in hand up to £3 7s more money than she had ever had in
her life before, all of her own, and enough, she thought, to buy her a couple of frame hives at once.
At the end of the week she sold the rest of the honey. It was more than she had counted on, a little over fifty
pounds, and consequently brought her cash in hand up to £3 17s. Now, truly, she could order frame hives
with a light heart. A guinea a piece she found they would cost her, and before another fortnight had passed,
and Christmas was at hand Christmas, which to the Marsden family was always marred by the
overhanging shadow of the bills the New Year would bring she had three frame hives in full working
order. Now all she wanted was an extractor, and an extractor she was resolved to have, though an extractor
which costs £ 2 10s, when your cash in hand is exactly 11s, and your income is a somewhat precarious £1 13s
4d a month, is an expensive item. Her father, she was thankful to say, had taken very little notice of the new
hives. One day at tea, indeed, he had asked
"Whose are those hives?"
"Mine," said Phoebe, trembling for what might be coming next.
"Lucky for you," said her father; "you can afford to indulge your hobbies. I never can."
She wondered would he dock her allowance? If he did that, then indeed she would have to give up hope; but
the same thought, perhaps, passed through her mother's mind: and though she might not approve of Phoebe's
course, still she was quite aware she had very little pleasure in life, and would not have that cut off if she
could help it.
"I'm sure," she said, fretfully, and yet Phoebe was grateful to her, she understood her motive, "I'm sure I wish
Phoebe wouldn't spend all her money on her bees. She simply can't go out, she hasn't got a dress fit to wear;
and as for boots and gloves "
"I can't help it," said Mr Marsden, in the tone the family hated. "You spend every penny of my money among
you, and more too. Well it can't go on like this long. There must be an end to it," which speech he made on an
average at least once a week to his family, and it never failed to reduce them either to angry or distressed
silence, according to their dispositions.
But tonight it did not damp Phoebe's spirits. She was beginning to see her way out; and after tea she strolled
out into the orchard, and sat down opposite her nice clean white hives, and began to build castles in the air.
She had discovered, by careful reading of the quaint American "Gleanings of Bee Culture" a few numbers of
which Mrs Moore had got for her, that she had received a great deal too much for the messy mixture of comb
and honey she had sold Mrs Hanson; but everybody seemed to be satisfied Mrs Moore had told her how
much they had liked it, and rallied her on making her friend pay threehalfpence a pound more than she need
for it and so she felt she might be pleased and grateful for the start it had given her. Now even though she got
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less per pound, she thought it would be amply made up by the increased quantity; and, for once in her life,
was fairly well satisfied with things as they were. To be sure her mother's dictum that she was quite old
troubled her a little; but at least there was this consolation in it, if she was so old, there was really nothing
more to hope for, and she could sit down contentedly and wait, because a year more or less doesn't matter
when you're old. At least, that was her mood tonight; tomorrow, very likely, the waiting would seem
interminably long and unbearable. But tonight tonight, at least, the world was going well with her, and she
lay back on the grass, with her hands under her head, and stared up at the golden stars.
To her, across the grass, came Nancy, and sat down beside her, resting her elbows on her knees, and her face
in her hands.
"Father was nasty at tea, wasn't he," remarked the elder, without turning her head.
"It's getting unbearable," said Nancy, with a sob in her voice.
"Nanny, dear."
"Phoebe, why didn't you come to the ball last night?"
"Because, you know well enough, I like to keep in a fairly good temper; and I'd have been just as cross as two
sticks if I'd gone there and sat down all night. Now you see I am as amiable as possible, in spite of my papa's
rude remarks; and you went and danced all night and enjoyed yourself, and now you're done up," and Phoebe
laid a kindly hand on her sister's arm.
"Oh, I danced all night; but that doesn't say I enjoyed myself."
"Doesn't it? I'd enjoy myself I know, if I danced all night. And you had an admirer, too. Stanley says Mr.
Sampson Nancy, you oughtn't to flirt with him so, when you know you are engaged to Ned Kirkham."
"I'm not engaged to Ned Kirkham."
"What?" And Phoebe sat up in her astonishment.
"I only said I wasn't engaged to Ned Kirkham. You know there never was anything between us."
"Oh, Nancy, I thought "
"Spooning doesn't make an engagement; and I never as much as let Ned Kirkham kiss me. And being in love
with a man doesn't make an engagement; and a man being in love with you doesn't make an engagement."
"No," said Phoebe, doubtfully, she didn't quite understand what her sister was driving at; "but when you love
a man, and he loves you, and is going to marry you, that makes an engagement, I suppose, doesn't it?"
"I suppose it does," said Nancy, gloomily.
"Well?"
"Who said Ned Kirkham was going to marry me?"
"Why, of course he is. He's wild to do it; and as soon as ever he gets that gold "
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Nancy began to laugh a laugh that was half strangled with a sob.
"That gold," she said; "oh, that gold! But they haven't got that gold. And they can't even begin to look for it
till the rain comes. They've they've cleared out, and are riding tracks for some squatter up there. They've
lost all their money, and just earn a pound a week and rations each," she went on, fiercely, as if she were
afraid of breaking down. "I got a letter last night."
"Nanny, Nanny." It gave Phoebe an odd sort of little pain to think how grieved she would have been for
Morrison if he had cared anything for her. But he didn't; and she could be glad about her bees, and not worry
about him, but about Ned Kirkham.
"Oh, Nanny! I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. And it means more anxiety and waiting, doesn't it? And it's hard
for him too. You'll have to make it up to him when you're married."
"Married?" echoed Nancy, "Married? Good gracious! Do you ever expect us to be married? You must be a
sanguine sort of a person."
"But, Nanny dear, in time, you know, it will come right, and meanwhile "
Phoebe paused, because it seemed to her the time might be wrong, and really she did not quite know what to
recommend her to do meanwhile. She would have waited, she would have fretted and fumed her heart out
with anxiety, but she would have waited all her life for the man who loved her; but she knew Nancy was not
made of the same sort of stuff.
"And meanwhile," said Nancy, choking down a sob; "I may as well marry some one else."
"Nancy, you don't know how how indecent it seems to me to talk that way."
"Why?"
"To talk of marrying one man when you know you love another. I know you're thinking of Mr Sampson."
"Well, what if I am?" said Nancy, with a trace of sullenness in her voice. "You know you think he is nice
yourself."
"Yes, I'm sure he is; but I know you don't care, not in that way, one cent for him. Why, Nan, I like him far
better than you do."
"I always knew you had a sneaking affection for him," said Nancy, with a feeble attempt at sprightliness,
which her sister checked in the bud.
"I would be more fit to marry him, anyway," she said, gravely; "but I wouldn't. I don't care enough for him."
"You don't know what you would do. He never asked you. A woman feels quite different then," said Nancy,
brightening. She felt she had the whip hand of her sister here, for Phoebe had to acknowledge she didn't know
what it felt like to be asked in marriage.
"I don't know," she hesitated; "of course I know I can't speak from experience; but it does seem to me that
unless you want pretty badly to marry him at all at least, except for pecuniary reasons, and that's a wrong
reason altogether."
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"My goodness! I would like mother to hear you. Wouldn't she be shocked!"
"I suppose she would; but I don't know what at."
"The idea of wanting to marry a man before he asked you."
"Nan, I'm right, nevertheless." Phoebe sat up straight, and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I'm right, I feel
I'm right. It will be a very good thing indeed for men and women too, when a lot of this ridiculous nonsense
is brushed away. A woman can't be quite indifferent to a man all along, and then all of a sudden, the minute
he asks her to marry him, be very fond of him. She can't, I tell you, or if she can, then she is not the sort of
woman worth any man's marrying. And yet that is just the sort of beings women in our class are supposed to
be. Oh, Nan! if we could only be independent and meet men on an equal footing, how much better it would
be. Nan, dearie, if you wait for Ned Kirkham, he will know how much you love him."
"For ten years? Till I'm old and faded? He'll more likely think it was because I couldn't get anybody else, and
he will bless having to take such an old thing, and wish he could have a nice, fresh young girl."
Phoebe rubbed her hand across her eyes. There was truth, too, in this bitter philosophy.
"But thirtytwo isn't so very old. You needn't be faded." But she hesitated. Thirtytwo seemed to both of
them very old indeed. You cannot be brought up in the faith that fiveandtwenty is old without feeling that
over thirty is decrepid.
"Oh, it's old!" said Nancy, with decision; "so it is no good discussing that. Why, you were thirteen when
mother was thirtytwo."
"I often think she grew old much too soon, and "
"Phoebe, you are quite mad on that subject. Anyhow, I'm not going to wait for Ned Kirkham till I'm
thirtytwo, so it's no good talking about it."
"What will you do, then?"
"I'm sure I don't know. Marry Mr Sampson, I suppose. Fancy being Mrs Josiah Sampson! Ugh!"
"Nan! You don't care one bit for Mr Sampson, you know you don't. You are only laughing."
"Am I? Well, you'll see. He asked me last night."
"Nancy! he didn't. You ought not to have let him."
"I couldn't stop him. Anyway, he did. He couldn't speak to father today, because he had to go up to
Maryborough, and won't be back till tomorrow night. But I told him it didn't matter in the least for a day or
two. Only I thought I must just tell you."
"Oh, but Nancy, Nancy! how could you! And Ned Kirkham what about him?"
"It's much better as it is," said Nancy, defiantly; "even for him. You can't have an arrangement like that
dragging on for months and years; it is too wearing altogether. I suppose he will be cut up at first, but he will
pretty soon see it in the same light I do."
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"Nanny," repeated Phoebe again, with hopeless insistence, "you don't love Mr Sampson."
"Oh, don't I? How do you know that? Besides, what does it matter? Mother says she loves father, and I'm sure
the result isn't to be envied."
"You don't know how much worse it might be if there wasn't any love."
"Phoebe, I think love is all just rot. After you have been married to a man a year or two it is all the same."
"It is not. I know it is not."
"You don't know anything about it. You must allow I know heaps more about men than you do."
"I know that," admitted Phoebe, "and that is what makes it worse. You go and engage yourself to a man you
don't care a bit about just because you think it is time you married."
"It is time, too. Look at my dress, look at my boots, and just look at the way the other girls are growing up.
Why Lydia is nearly as tall as you, and much taller than me."
"But, Nancy "
"Now, Phoebe, I'm sure in your heart you must sympathise with me. No one desires more heartily to get out
of it than you do."
"Yes, but the road out ought not to be by marrying a man you don't care a cent about."
"It generally is for women."
"It ought not to be. Oh, Nan, think how you would feel if three months hence Ned Kirkham struck gold and
was a rich man, and you were married to Mr Sampson."
"I would not like it, of course," said Nancy, a little unsteadily, "but that won't happen. Those sort of things
only happen in books."
"They must happen in real life sometimes or folks would not be interested to read about them."
"Well, it won't happen in this case. You can be very sure of that."
"Well, perhaps you are right to break off the engagement. You can care for each other just as much even if
you are not engaged, and he can always come back if he has got any money, and perhaps it would be just as
well if you could stop caring for him. But I know you care now, Nan, I know you do, and it is wicked to talk
of marrying anybody else."
"If it was you you would go on loving him and adoring him till in time he got sick of you, I suppose."
"I believe I would," hesitated Phoebe, "because it is not pleasant to own up how much you would love when
no one has asked you for that love, and you know very well your listener thinks no one is ever likely to, I
believe it is the right way."
"Well, I'm not built that way. I would rather leave a man in the lurch while I could than be left in the lurch
myself any day."
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"It is wrong. It is cruel. You don't know how miserable Ned Kirkham may be."
"Oh, he would be miserable any way, if he don't get the gold, he will go right along being miserable wanting
me, till at last he got to being miserable because he had got me. No, thank you. I prefer to end it before it
comes to that."
"It is not certain to come to that."
"Pretty certain. Now, Phoeb, don't be silly. Which of us two do men like most? Why me, of course. I don't
want to be conceited, they are all asses you know, but there isn't a doubt about it. They all seem to like me
somehow, and I always get lots of attention, and I never consider their feelings a bit. I go right on and do
exactly what I like. And you, you are always considering somebody, you "
"No one cares for me one bit."
"Just exactly so. Men are always that way. Oh, I know the best way to manage men."
"I think," said Phoebe, slowly, "it is your pretty face and your pretty confident ways that take them. I don't
believe men are so so bad as to admire sentiments like that. A man must want to be loved, and well loved,
just like a woman does, and if I were pretty and charming like you, men would like me too, and if they were
real good men they would like my sentiments far better than yours."
"Well, I call that very conceited of you. But as far as I can judge they like mine at present, and I'm going to
be married while they do."
"But, Nan, why must you get married?"
"Two or three excellent reasons, as I told you before. Look at my boots, look at my dress, look at the other
girls growing up; life is a miserable sort of struggle for us girls anyhow, and I must get married before I'm so
old nobody asks me any more."
Phoebe stood up and stamped her feet on the ground.
"They are the poorest sort of reasons, if I could only make you see it. Oh, I know it is not very happy for you
at home, but wait, wait a little, Nan. It is so irrevocable getting married, if you don't care a lot for him before
you are married, the chances are you will like him less afterwards. He can't always have his best manners on,
you know, not all his life. And, Nan, who knows, somebody might come along whom you would like very
much."
It was getting dark now, the short Australian twilight had fled, and Nancy, sitting on the grass with her
elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, could just vaguely see her sister's tall form as she walked
impatiently up and down before the white beehives. She felt dull and depressed, even a little angry. Why was
Phoebe, who understood so little about it, going on like this? It was a hard thing to find the man she really
cared about had no money, and no prospect of money, it was a hard thing to have to write to him and tell him
they must part, and she wanted Phoebe to sympathise with her. She wanted to be kissed and cried over and
petted a little. Then as to Mr Sampson, she fully intended to marry him; he was welltodo, he could give her
almost everything she wanted, and it had always seemed to her that money had been, up to the present, the
great want of her life. But still she wanted to be sympathised with about that too. To have to give up a young,
goodlooking man for a plain, middleaged one, at least twenty years older than herself, it was hard, and
Phoebe might have been gentle with her, and petted her, and pitied her first and then pointed out Mr
Sampson's many good qualities and the advantages she would reap from the marriage. But no, here was
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Phoebe striding up and down in the dark, going on as if it were a crime in her to think about marrying at all.
"Phoebe," she said at last, "for goodness gracious sake stop that and come and sit down quietly. Just
supposing I don't marry now, just to please you, what will happen. Have you any idea how dead, and dull and
stale everything will be, and that may go on for years and years, for all my life, as far as I can see."
"If you had an interest in life," mused her elder sister.
"There is not such a thing for a woman unless she is married. You can't give me one."
"The bees," said Phoebe, doubtfully. The bees had been so much to her during the last two or three months,
but she doubted whether her sister took the same keen interest in them. They were only little insects with
stings in their tails to Nancy, while to Phoebe they represented house and money and dresses and influence
and independence generally. "The bees," she repeated, a little more firmly. "Nan, we will go on together, and
go halves in everything."
The munificence of the offer was entirely lost upon the younger girl.
"Oh, Phoebe," she burst out laughing, "what a funny girl you are. The bees, indeed! As if I wanted your bees.
Why, I couldn't be bothered with them. No, I'll just marry Mr Sampson, and I'll be a welltodo young
woman then, and I'll just see if I can't marry you off to some decent sort of a man before you have developed
quite into a shrivelled old maid, peddling honey for a living. If that is all you have got to offer it settles it. I
will just go in and tell mother and she will be pleased, I'm sure."
Nancy rose up and shook out her skirts.
"You will understand how right I am some day, Phoebe. I'm not saying it is pleasant, but it is the only thing to
be done."
"Oh, Nan, Nan. I wish I could make you see how wrong it is before any harm comes of it."
"No harm will come of it, never fear. It is a thing that is done every day." And Nancy turned and walked
slowly towards the house.
CHAPTER XII. A DESOLATE LAND
Sun in the east at mornin', sun in the west at night,
And the shadow of this yer station the on'y thing moves in sight.
BRET HARTE.
It hadn't rained for two years on the country 'way back' beyond Roebourne, at least so the inhabitants few
and far between, one to a hundred square miles or so asserted, and Kirkham quite believed the statement.
He doubted much its having rained then. He looked upon it as a pleasing notion used to let the stranger know
that it had rained within the memory of man, and consequently might be expected to do so again within the
lifetime of the most impatient, possibly within a year or two. The stockrider over at Riley's Claypan said he
knew it had rained two years ago, it had rained mighty hard, and the claypan had risen and risen till he had to
leave his hut and take refuge in the hills beyond, and that was last Christmas two years. He was certain of it
because he'd been obliged to leave his pudding behind and when he got back there wasn't a trace of it. There
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wasn't a trace of the hut either, according to him. And "Sunny Days" was nearest neighbour to the Lone Hand
outstation, and consequently might be expected to have some knowledge of its climatic eccentricities. But
still, as Kirkham remarked to Morrison, he was fifty miles away and that might make some difference. For
his part he was very certain it had never rained at Lone Hand and never intended to. Why it was an
outstation at all he could not tell, save that the big company who owned all the country for hundreds of
miles round kept a certain number of men at work and distributed them on paper in some comfortable cool
office down in Melbourne. He was certain the manager up here had no say in the matter for the folly, nay, the
cruelty of keeping a solitary man on a place which would barely support one sheep to a hundred acres must
be apparent to the meanest capacity.
"It's not pleasant, old chap," agreed Morrison, "but it's Hobson's choice with us. And we can clear out as soon
as Sam McAlister lets us know the creek is running."
Kirkham made an impatient movement with his head. Everything depended on rain, and it looked as if it had
never rained here since the creation. But there was nothing else to be done.
When they could stop no longer alongside their claim they had applied to old McAlister for work, and he,
having none to give, had passed them on to the manager of the Great Western Squatting and Trading
Company, which had finally ended in their being sent to outstations of the company, Kirkham to Lone Hand
and Morrison to an outstation known as Merri, though he remarked to Kirkham, he didn't suppose there was
anything particularly merry about it.
"Anyhow, it's only about fiveandtwenty miles off, old chap, that's one good thing," he added, but Kirkham
had not been in the country long enough to look upon fiveandtwenty miles as constituting quite a
nextdoor neighbour.
"It can't be more Godforsaken than this place," said Kirkham, looking round drearily.
Certainly anything more desolate he had never conceived in his wildest dreams. There was the outstation, a
single room built of corrugated iron, about twelve feet by twenty in size, with one door and one window, and
to the north the roof extended a little so as to form a sort of verandah. Beside it, a little to the left, was a
windmill with corrugated iron sails that pumped brackish water for the use of the stock, and made a patch of
dull green vegetation just so far as the influence of its water made itself felt. This windmill was the reason of
the outstation, some one had to take charge of it, and Kirkham was now that man. That, and the hut, and the
horse paddock were the only signs of human habitation they had seen for miles. All around was the plain,
bare and flat, grassless and treeless, with for all vegetation a sort of wiry herbage, which their neighbour,
Sunny Days, informed them was dignified by the name of salt bush. It only grew in patches few and far
between, and Kirkham thought the sheep would have derived as much sustenance from the wire fence round
the horse paddock, but he was told they were not in bad condition, and if the wool on their backs had become
very like straggly hair that was only to be expected in such a climate. The horizon was bounded by hills, hills
of a curious rock formation, whose jagged tops cut clean against the hard blue sky, and yet were ever
changing, for every now and again, from what cause I know not, great boulders would break off from the
parent hill with a loud report, and come crashing down its sides on to the plain below. They had a weird,
uncanny picturesqueness of their own, those hills, for the rocks were of various colours, white, and pink, and
deep purple, and they changed ever and again as the sun moved across them. Morrison looked at them
gratefully.
"If it weren't for the hills," he said, "this would be an almighty Godforsaken hole."
"The hills?" echoed Kirkham, "the hills? They're uncanny. They look as if they belong to another world. I'd
rather be without them."
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"Oh, would you, old man. Much you know about it. Just fancy living on this plain with nothing in sight, not a
stick, not a stone, not a shrub above a foot above the ground, and the plain as flat as a table, mind you. You'd
be thankful for hills of any sort after a place like that, I can tell you."
"Good Lord! What do men want to live in such a country for?"
"Well, we knock tucker out of it, old man. As for you and me, we're in luck to get this billet at all. And we're
close enough after all to make our plans together. You can come over sometimes and sometimes I'll ride over
and see you. We're our own masters anyhow, thank God, and can do pretty much as we please."
"The Australian, at least the bushman," said Kirkham, "has a curious idea of independence. He sits down in
the midst of a desolate waste where there isn't a chance of speaking or seeing a fellowcreature once in a blue
moon, and then he thanks God he is his own master."
Morrison laughed.
"It's one way of making the best of it, old man. Anyhow, I'll stop till tomorrow, seeing there's no one to tell
me not to, and see you fairly started. And don't be downhearted when I'm gone. I guess it won't be more than
six months at the most."
Kirkham looked up doubtfully at the clear, blue sky.
"If we wait for the rain," he said.
"Well, if the rain doesn't come we'll still be saving the dollars. You just can't spend money here, and in a year
or two we'll have enough to start in some more getatable place."
In a year or two! The words rang in Kirkham's ear as he watched his cousin ride off in the haze of the early
morning. A year or two! Allan Morrison talked as lightly of it the long weary waiting as if he had two
or three lifetimes at his disposal. He was accustomed to this sort of life, Kirkham thought, and besides, there
was no one waiting for him, counting the weary days, waiting, waiting, away down south there.
It seemed to him, during that first month he spent alone, he had never before realised the bitterness of
waiting. But at least he did now. Not one pang, not one drop of bitterness was he spared, for he had nothing
in the wide world to do the live long day but sit on an upturned box at his hut door and think. The windmill
wanted so little looking after; often he had not half an hour's work in the whole day, and the rest of his time
he might sit with his hands folded before him. His gun stood idle in the corner; there was nothing whatever to
shoot; he never saw a living thing save a stray sheep or two from one week's end to another; he had not a
book to read; he had only enough paper to write an occasional letter; his nearest neighbour, his cousin Allan,
was over twentyfive miles away; and the only chance he had of communicating with his kind was if he
should chance to ride over, or when the bullock dray should come round with stores, which it did about once
in two months. But there was no fixed time for its coming, and if he should happen to be away they would
leave the stores and pass on. The bullock dray would bring the mail, too, and that was something to be looked
forward to. Indeed, it was the only thing he had to look forward to now, and his impatience grew and grew.
He could not hasten that mail by the smallest effort, but he walked up and down outside his hut door on the
hot evenings, up and down, faster and faster till he was bathed in perspiration, and he knew he could not
hasten that mail. It was a little thing to wait for a letter a month or two; but here in his loneliness his whole
thoughts centred on that coming letter. In the morning he watched the sun rise up over the jagged crests of the
ranges, hot and fierce, and said to himself here was another day to be got through. He watched him cross the
sky, slowly, so slowly, and sink into the plain on the west, one ruddy fierce golden glory, the one grand sight
in the dreary day, and he only said to himself, "another day gone, another day nearer the coming mail," and
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he notched another notch in the door post which was his calendar. He had lost the day of the week; he had the
vaguest idea about the date, but he never forgot that about two months from his arrival, about sixty days later,
the dray with stores might be expected to arrive, and that that dray ought to bring the mail. There would
certainly be letters from his mother and sisters in England; could he be equally certain of a letter from Nancy?
Could he? It must be in answer to his telling her of the downfall of his hopes, or rather not their downfall, but
the postponement of their realisation. What would she say? He had nothing else to think about, and he
answered that question variously all day long. She would never wait, never, never; it could not be expected of
her, he must not be surprised if she broke off the engagement, and what would he do then? And then he knew
very well he did not expect any such thing; it was surely treason to her even to let such a thought cross his
mind. The good, brave, loving little girl who had written him such a tender letter, telling him not to worry,
that she loved him, and would wait for him. Would she not, if she loved him, be equally tender now? What
was he worrying about? If her letter came in a month, or two months, what matter? It would come sometime,
and there could be no doubt what would be in it. Only she would be so grieved. Yes, that was what was
troubling him, she would be so grieved; the waiting would be just as weary for her as for him, and he could
not bear her to suffer. She was miserable enough at home, he guessed, it was a hard enough life; but he would
make up to her for it in the future, and they would want so little, so very little to make them happy. She was
not accustomed to luxury. Then he built up castles in the air about their life together. He did not ask riches
now, only enough to stock a small farm, such a farm as he had despised, such a life as he had scorned only a
very few months back. It would satisfy Nancy, he was sure. And then he got up and paced up and down
was he sure? It would have satisfied Phoebe, he had no manner of doubt about that; but Nancy, she might
look for so much more, would she be satisfied? Would she? Would she? Of course she would. Had she not
said she loved him? He took out her letter, worn and ragged at the edges now. "I love you, love you, love
you, I love you," she wrote, with feminine reiteration, "There! I just can't help it. I wish I could. You don't
know how much I wish I could, because I've always laughed at girls who have lovers at the other end of the
world who they may see if they're lucky some time during the next ten years and can get married to about the
millennium. It's very bad and unkind of you to make me so; you say I must love you a great lot, and you
needn't worry or anything like that, because I will wait because I can't help myself."
He knew it off by heart, but he liked to see it in her own handwriting. It comforted him, and if there was a
strong strain of selfishness in the letter, a selfishness that thought a great deal more of her sacrifice than his,
he never saw it. He was glad to read she loved him; he was even glad she did it in spite of herself. It made
him feel so much more certain of her. But it made him want her too, it made the unoccupied time crawl. The
hut was so bare. Corrugated iron outside glistening in the hot sunshine for twelve hours in the day, corrugated
iron inside, a bare earthen floor, and for all furniture a couple of boxes, and his bed a piece of sacking spread
on four sticks sunk in the ground. Could anything be more humble and unhomelike? And he must put up with
this for the next six months at the very least. The stillness began to be overpowering: nothing broke it, there
was hardly even a breath of wind, and he began to shrink from breaking it himself. He went about his small
daily tasks softly, he never spoke aloud because the sound of his own voice frightened him; and when one
day the jagged peak on the hill nearest him split in half with a loud explosion, he found his nerves so shaken
by the unexpected sound, that a sudden terror took possession of him, lest he should be losing his reason, and
he saddled his horse and rode off there and then to see his cousin at Merri, thanking God in true Australian
fashion that he was his own master. True, the dray might be expected any day now, but there would be no
good his waiting for it if he was mad. Besides, it would go on to Merri, he would very likely meet it on his
way back. For he did not intend to stay above a day; how could he with that letter waiting for him? He would
come back as quickly as possible, but he would go now and consult Allan. So he scrawled on a sheet of
paper, "Gone to Merri. Back tomorrow. Please leave letters." But when he would have dated it he found he
had no idea what day of the month it was, only a shadowy notion of the month itself, so he simply signed his
name and laid the paper open on the box with a stone on it to keep it down. There was no necessity to write at
all. The bullock driver and his mate would be sure to leave the letters in any case; but he was so feverishly
anxious about Nancy's letter, he felt that in making some provision for its coming he was bringing it nearer to
himself.
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Morrison, all alone in his hut, was overjoyed to see him, and Kirkham, once in his society, hardly liked to
explain the horror and fear of loneliness that had driven him thither. He said it was lonely in a hesitating sort
of way, and Morrison assented.
"You'll get used to it, old man, in time. What you want is a dog of sorts. You wouldn't believe what company
Lassie here is," and he thoughtfully pulled the ears of the nondescript collie who laid her head lovingly on his
knee.
"Where did you get her?" asked Kirkham.
"Last man left her behind him. I don't believe poor Lassie was ever properly appreciated till now. She was
just a godsend to me. Oh, you must get a dog, old chap. You speak to the bullock driver when the stores come
round. Perhaps he'll leave you one of his. They generally have two or three curs along with them, and
anything is better than nothing. I can't give you Lassie, because we have got too fond of one another to part.
Haven't we, old girl?" and Lassie, pleased at being noticed, snuggled her head down between his knees, and
in wise dog fashion said "yes."
"The mail ought to be in soon," said Kirkham.
"Lucky beggar, you, to have the mail to look forward to. A packet of letters for you, I suppose, from your
mother and sisters, and the adored one, she'll write, of course. Oh, come old chap, what are you growling at?
If I could look forward to a pile of letters like that every two months, I'd be as happy as a king."
"Won't you get any letters?"
"Who's to write to me, unless Phoebe Marsden does? She might. She's a good woman, that. I mustn't say
anything against the adored one, besides, I was mighty gone on her myself not so very long ago, but upon my
word I believe there's better stuff in her sister. You would never be afraid of Phoebe Marsden giving you the
go by."
"I'm not afraid of Nancy," said Kirkham, coldly. "I know so well "
"Of course, old man, of course. You know very well no one admires her more than I do. Admired her so
much, in fact, I'm inclined to think I was blind to her sister's good qualities. That's all I meant. Look here, old
man, I don't suppose I'll ever get a paper and you're sure to get heaps. I'll come over in a fortnight or so I
can't get away before and you might lend me some, and tell me all the news."
"All right," agreed Kirkham, and when he started back again he found he had never explained to his cousin
his horror of the great loneliness, and had only the vaguest notions of getting a dog.
And all the way back he looked out for the dray, but there was no track, and he must have passed it, for when
he got back to his hut he found it had been and gone. There were the wheel tracks coming right up to the door
and going out again into the wilderness, and inside were the stores, tea and flour and sugar, with a goodly
share of tobacco and spices and plums, and a sight to warm the heart of a solitary man, on the box where he
laid his open letter a pile of newspapers and letters. The newspapers had all been opened and well thumbed
and read; one could hardly expect illustrated papers to find their way into the back blocks intact, but it was
not the illustrated papers that Kirkham cared about. The letter, the letter, his letter, the letter he had cut
notches in the door to keep count for, that was all he wanted. If only that letter was there they might have
taken all the rest; it would be company for weeks if only that letter were all he hoped for. He sat down on the
box with a sudden feeling of weakness; he was afraid, he was terribly afraid. Suppose, after all, there should
be no letter suppose the letter should be there and yet should not be all he wished. He rose up and walked
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outside the hut; he walked right round it very slowly, then he crossed over to the windmill, and watched the
water filling quietly the trough beneath it. In some places he had heard the water from these bores rushed out
violently, flooding the ground round, but this one didn't; it trickled out reluctantly; it looked as if every drop
might be the last. It was hardly worth while, he thought, to keep a man here if the directors down south only
knew. What was he waiting here for? The dray had come, the dray he had been watching and waiting for for
the last two months, and the letters lay inside there, the letter from his little girl, and he was standing
watching this water pumped up drop by drop, and now it was the letter that was waiting for him. How
ungrateful he was! Would he treat Nancy herself that way had she come to him? And he turned and retraced
his steps almost at a run, and, throwing the papers aside, gathered up all the letters in his hands. Such a lot
there were, ten or eleven at the very least thick ones, too; but of course it was over eight weeks since he
had had a letter from any one, and he knew well enough his mother and sisters would write regularly every
week, and Nancy ah, surely she would be as kind as his mother and sisters. She would understand so
much better than they his loneliness and his longing, she would measure it by her own. He thought of her
longing for him, thinking pitifully of him, and it brought a warm glow to his heart. Uppermost lay a letter
addressed in his mother's wellknown pointed handwriting; he remembered how eager he used to be to see
that handwriting when he was a schoolboy, and now it held but a second place in his heart but a very
secondary place. What difference could it make to his mother and sisters if he were out of the world? Surely
he influenced their lives hardly at all. And yet he turned over letter after letter, and on every one was the
wellknown handwriting. All that she could do for her boy the faraway mother was doing. And he grew
impatient and hot and cold all over. All these letters were from his mother; where then was Nancy's? The one
he was waiting for and looking for? One by one he dropped them through his fingers on to the ground, one by
one, and at last he came upon the one he was looking for, such a thin little letter, and he had waited for it so
long and only one he looked at the postmark; it was as old as his mother's last letter. She might easily
have written more; if she had cared she would have written more; she would surely have understood his
desolation and his longing; she would have wanted to comfort him in his bitter disappointment. She must
have understood, surely she understood. He turned the letter over and over in his hands; he read the
postmark carefully; he held it up to the light, but he could not make up his mind to break the seal. Suppose it
should not be all he wanted, what then? Ah, what then? It would be all very well to say she was not worth
caring for, but what else had he? The fierce hot sun crept in at the doorway across the hard bare floor, it
seemed to emphasise his desolation. He looked round the hut, and it told him how little he had to offer. Little
it was less than nothing. What right had he to expect any girl to stick to him, and yet if she did not what
would his life be worth? He thought of her bright fair face, of the loving letter, the worn, torn letter; and he
took it out and read it once again, and called himself a brute for doubting and fearing, just because there was
only one little letter, and it was old. A thousand things might have stopped her writing. If he were going to
feel like this every time he got a letter, how would he live till he should be able to marry her and have her for
his own. He was a fool, and he swept the letters and papers off the box on to the floor, sat down deliberately
and tore open the envelope. Only one sheet he could hear his own heart beating only one sheet, but
after all one can say a great deal in one sheet, and all he wanted to read was that Nancy was true to him and
would wait for him, that would take him over another two weary long months. All he wanted might be said in
a very few words. Slowly he drew the letter out and slowly opened it. No heading Ah, but the very
tenderest letters have been written without any heading, without any beginning at
"I don't know how to write," began the letter, and in truth there was no heading, no date, and no address. If it
cost him to read, it had cost Nancy a great deal more to write. She had thought it over for days, she had begun
it again and again, she had cried her heart out over it; but she had never for a moment swerved from her
purpose. "I don't know how to write and tell you how sorry I am, but I think you will know that without my
telling. I'm so sorry for you; it must be such hard lines, specially when you had counted on the gold; but I
daresay you will find some more when the rain comes, and anyhow, a man stops young a good long time, and
has plenty of time to make his fortune, so I hope you will be rich yet, by and by. It is never any good to
despair. And about our engagement? At least it was not an engagement ever, was it? And I believe by your
letter you want it to go on still, and it is very good of you; but that would be very foolish, and I am sure you
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will think so by the time you get this. What is the good of our going on being engaged and never seeing one
another for years and years? And then when at last you did come I might be old and shrivelled, and you
would think it an awful bore to have to marry me, and hate me ever after; and I wouldn't like you to do that,
so I think we had better stop right here. I am so sorry, indeed, indeed, I don't believe you know how sorry I
am, but what else is there to be done? It is always best to look things straight in the face, and you see I must
like you a lot to write to you just exactly as I feel. So goodbye, and I do hope you will be happy in the future.
I believe you will be happier than me.
"Last week I got engaged to Mr Josiah Sampson you know him and we are to be married in April. It
was all arranged last week, and father and mother are so pleased. It looks funny to write that to you, but I
want you to understand everything. Goodbye." And then she ended up abruptly, "ANNIE MARSDEN."
CHAPTER XIII. NANCY DOES THE RIGHT THING
Falser than the smiles of faithless April.
A. COWLEY.
"You are a good girl, Nancy. Of course I am very pleased, and so is your father. It is naturally a great comfort
to him to think one of you girls will be so comfortably provided for. You have never been any anxiety to me,
though. I always felt you would be all right."
"And Mr Josiah Sampson?" asked Nancy, thoughtfully.
"Your father says he is such a good fellow. And such a large practice. Of all the men in Ballarat, I don't know
a better match. You are very lucky, Nancy. You'll be able to keep two servants and a man, and a pony
carriage, and send to Robertson and Moffat's for your dresses, and have no anxiety about money. Oh, Nancy,
you are lucky; and such a nice man with it all."
"You used to say he was very wooden," remarked Nancy, demurely.
"Ah, that was before I knew him. His manner is a little standoff and prim, perhaps; but that wears off when
you get to know him. Those gay, fascinating sort of men all the girls fall in love with make just the worst sort
of husbands. He will make you a good one, I'm sure he will, he looked at you so kindly, Nancy. My child, I'm
sure you will be happy, and you will be spared all the little anxieties and worries that make a woman's life so
hard. You haven't had time to realise yet what that means."
"Poor old mother," said Nancy, affectionately, "I knew you would be pleased. But think how much nicer it
would be if I was head over ears in love with him."
"No, no, don't say that. It is much best as it is. One is bound to do the loving, and it had better be the man.
You will love him well enough after you are married. Half the misery in the world comes from the woman
loving too much; besides," Mrs Marsden put on a severely proper air, "I really don't think it is nice for a girl
to talk about loving a man before she is married to him. I'm sure it isn't. I never called your father anything
but Mr Marsden till we were married, and I certainly wouldn't have told him I loved him. Nice girls never do.
It is the men that do that, and yet you see "
Mrs Marsden paused to let this brilliant example have full weight, and Nancy stooped over her, kissed her,
and fled.
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"She thinks her marriage is an immense success, evidently," said Nancy to her sister, when they were
brushing their hair before going to bed. "Fancy that. I guess I will be happier than she has been, anyhow."
"Poor mother," sighed her eldest daughter.
"I haven't the least doubt," said Nancy, "that at this moment she is probably thinking to herself 'Poor Phoebe,'
and wondering if by any possible chance I will be able to get you married. There, there, don't fly into a rage.
You shall be an old maid if you want to; I promise you I won't stop you."
"As I've explained before," said Phoebe, brushing hard at her long, dark hair, and as her sister caught a
glimpse of her glowing cheeks and bright dark eyes, she thought once more, as she had done several times
lately, they must have all been making a mistake in setting down Phoebe as plain; "as I have explained
before, I don't want to be an old maid, but I object to any one looking out for a husband for me and feeling
obliged to marry me off."
"Yes, I know. Well, anyhow, you haven't got such a job before you as I have. You may be thankful for that."
"What is that?"
"I have got to I mean, I will have to write to Ned Kirkham and and "
"Nan! You don't mean to say you haven't done that yet. How mean of you!"
"It's all very well of you to say 'how mean of you,' but how would you like to have to do it yourself?"
Phoebe made no answer to this, only went on steadily brushing her hair.
"Oh, of course, I know," grumbled Nancy; "you are thinking such a thing would not ever happen to you. You
would not have behaved so. But then you don't understand. The temptation doesn't come to you."
"Well," said Phoebe, ignoring the last remark, "I know this much, you ought to let Ned Kirkham know at
once you are going to be married to some one else. You ought to do it this very night. You are engaged to two
men at once."
"I haven't any paper or ink," said Nancy, weakly.
Phoebe shook back her long hair, opened the bedroom door, and peeped out into the dark passage. All was
still, and every one was evidently in bed. Then, in nightgown and slippers, she made her way softly into the
diningroom, to her mother's davenport, took therefrom paper, pen, ink, and blottingbook, and returned to
her sister.
"There," she said, clearing a corner of the dressingtable, and drawing a chair up to it. "Now sit down and
write before you go to bed."
"It is so late," objected Nancy.
"You won't have a moment's time tomorrow. Nan, if you don't write, I'll just tell mother."
That threat settled things. Nancy sat down, and Phoebe, getting into bed, put the pillow up against the wall to
lean upon, and settling the bed clothes around her, prepared to see that Nancy did her duty.
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"Don't look at me," objected Nancy.
"I won't the minute you begin to write."
"What am I to say?"
"'Dear Mr Kirkham, Last week I got engaged to Mr Sampson and am going to be married in April. I think
I ought to tell you, because I know you think I'm engaged to you.'"
"Oh, that will never do," sobbed Nancy, "I couldn't write such a horrid letter as that. Poor Ned, oh, poor
Ned!"
"Put it your own way, then," said her sister. "It will be a horrid letter, anyhow, if he cares for you, and you
know he does. Just write what you like, only the less you say the better. You have got to think of Mr
Sampson now."
Nancy laid her head down on the table and sobbed heartbrokenly.
"I can't do it. I can't I can't."
"You have got to write to one or the other," said Phoebe, coldly. "It would, perhaps, be better to write to Mr
Sampson, but I'm sure you won't do that," and she leaned back against her pillows and closed her eyes.
Nancy swallowed down some sobs, mopped her eyes with a towel because she had not a handkerchief handy,
and proceeded to begin her letter, and Phoebe, listening to the scratch, scratch of her pen, came to the
conclusion that as soon as she had written a word she scratched it out again, and when she got to the end of
the page she stood up and tore it into little bits.
"What did you do that for?" asked her sister. "It would have been written if you had left it."
"I can't write it I don't know what to say I don't know how to put it." And Nancy had another fit of
passionate heartbroken sobbing.
Phoebe watched her in silence; not that she was not truly sorry for her sister, but how could she help her? She
knew her well enough, she might cry all night, but she would keep her engagement with Mr Sampson all the
same in the morning, therefore Phoebe was determined that Ned Kirkham should thoroughly understand there
was no hope for him.
"Nancy," she said, as Nancy's sobs died down again, "write now, like a good girl. Don't you see, it can't
matter in the very least what you say to Ned Kirkham, so long as he clearly understands you are going to
marry Mr Sampson in April. Whether he is angry, or sad, or don't care twopence, you won't hear about it.
Why, you will be married soon after he gets the letter. You will never know what he thinks."
This matteroffact way of looking at the matter evoked a fresh burst of tears from Nancy, but it had the
desired effect, too. Presently she wiped her eyes again, and set to work in earnest. Phoebe watched her turn
over the paper, and then she asked in muffled tones
"Ought I to write it again, this is only a torn sheet of paper?"
"No, no, certainly not." Phoebe would be only too thankful to see that letter finished anyhow. "What can it
matter? He will never notice."
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"How shall I end it?"
"Just sign your name, of course."
"It looks so brutal and cold. Just 'Nancy?'"
"No, of course not. You must put 'Annie Marsden.'"
"I don't believe he knows my name is 'Annie,'" said Nancy, with another burst of tears.
"Oh, yes, he does," said Phoebe. "There, now that's done. No, Nancy, you are not to tear it up. It will do very
well. Did you tell him you were going to be married in April? Yes. Very well, then, the rest doesn't matter.
Now put it in an envelope and direct it, like a good girl, and come to bed. It is after twelve o'clock."
Nancy obeyed her tearfully, and with a sigh of relief Phoebe straightened down her own pillows and blew out
the candle as her sister jumped into bed. In the dark she heard her sobbing to herself, but she said nothing,
there was nothing to be said. If Nancy was determined to marry the man she did not love, Phoebe felt she
would have to pay the penalty. It was no good her worrying. Nevertheless, she did worry; it was no fault of
hers, but she was keenly sensible that there was something wrong in her sister's life, and she could not but be
sorry for it. Still, Nancy, sobbing muffled sobs into the pillows, would not have changed places with her; so
she sighed once more for the crookedness of the world, thought thankfully that at any rate that letter was
written, and finally went to sleep.
Next day Nancy had a headache, and was petted by her mother. "Poor child, no wonder, the excitement had
been too much for her," and the day after she was her old cheerful self again.
"It is no good bothering," she told Phoebe, as she watched her put some fresh frames into her hives, "I am
sure I have cried rivers; it is no good crying over spilt milk. I can't have Jamie, and auld Robin Gray is a gude
mon to me," and she held out her hand, so that Phoebe might admire her diamond ring.
"Oh, Nancy, is that your engagement ring? How perfectly lovely!"
"I thought you would say so. And look here," and she pointed to a new gold bangle on her other arm. "What
do you say to auld Robin Gray now?"
"Oh, Nancy, how can you talk of him like that! It is wicked when he is so good to you."
"My dear, as I have told you before, you have the absurdest notions as to the way men ought to be treated. As
I have said more than once before, which of us two do men like best, which treatment do they approve of
most? For all your goodness, no man gives you gold bangles and diamond rings, and no man goes breaking
his heart for you just because he can't get you."
"Nancy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself to talk like that."
"Ought I? I would be thinking it if I didn't say it, and so are you. I wouldn't say it to an outsider, of course,
but just to you Besides, it is good for you; it is teaching you the error of your ways before it is too late."
"It is too late already," said Phoebe, gravely, putting the mat over her frames and the cover on the hives. "I
think it is wicked to do as you do. I'm sure it isn't that makes the men like you, and I'm going to do what I
think right, even if I am a lonely old woman in the end. It is better to feel you are doing right."
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"It depends on what you mean by doing right. Weren't you carefully explaining to me the other day that you
thought we each of us made our own standard of right? Well, that is my standard of right, and I feel quite
comfortable, thank you."
"I don't think you do," began Phoebe, then she stopped. Where was the good of reminding this sister of hers
of the night she had spent in tears? If she had forgotten, so much the better; but Phoebe wondered how she
could forget so soon. She was really cross, though, when more than a fortnight later Nancy, in taking a
handkerchief from her drawer, drew along with it a letter, which fell on the floor. Nancy hastily put her foot
on it, but not before her sister had read the address.
"Nan!" Her tone was shocked. She felt she never would understand this sister of hers, who was so tender and
gentle and soft and kind, and yet was so utterly callous of the feelings of the man she loved. "Oh, Nan, you
don't mean to say you haven't posted that letter yet! Nan, how could you be so cruel? I thought it had gone
three weeks ago."
Nancy picked it up and turned it over in her fingers.
"I hadn't a stamp," she said. "Besides, it is a cruel letter. I'm not going to send it. He deserves something
better," and the ready tears overflowed, and Nancy looked the picture of misery.
But the diamond ring, with a sapphire one now above it, still gleamed on her finger. Mr Sampson, when
Nancy was not staying at Ballarat with Mrs Moore, was always out at "Wenoona," and Phoebe knew she had
not the least intention of breaking her engagement with him. She might sigh for her lost love, but she had no
intention of giving up the fleshpots of Egypt for his sake.
"I quite agree with you," she said, taking the letter from her limp fingers; "but since you won't give him
anything better, this is the least you can do for him. It must go."
"But it isn't stamped."
"I will stamp it, and I'm going up the township now I will post it."
"Phoebe "
But Phoebe put on her hat without another word, and Ned Kirkham got his longlookedfor letter.
CHAPTER XIV. THE WORST OF IT
Oh, my sweet,
Think, and be sorry you did this thing!
Though earth were unworthy to feel your feet,
There's a heaven above may deserve your love.
Should you forfeit heaven for a snapt gold ring
And a promise broke, were it just or meet?
BROWNING.
And he sat on the box and read it through. "Annie Marsden!" he repeated to himself. "But I wrote to Nancy."
Oh, yes; it was Nancy then it had always been Nancy for him but now she was going to marry Mr
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Josiah Sampson it was Annie Marsden. She was going to be married in April, in
April, in April. He said it over very slowly to himself. Annie Marsden Nancy, his Nancy was going
to be married in April. He weighed every word deliberately. In April in April. It might be April now for
all he knew; she might be married now for all he knew, and he had counted her his. He held the letter
between his fingers; he did not lay it down. He did not open his other letters. He never thought of looking at a
newspaper. He sat on there and stared at the opposite wall the hard, greyblue corrugated iron with the
maker's name stamped across it in black letters, and the setting sun coming in at the open doorway was
creeping slowly up it, very slowly the sunlight went, but very steadily, up and up. There was nothing to break
the monotony. The bare earthen floor, the iron wall, and the iron roof that was all the hard, cruel sunlight
showed. When the sunlight reached the roof, would it go out? It had seen all there was to be seen, it had
showed up in its garish golden light the desolate barrenness of this his only home, and then it would go away
for a day, for another twelve hours, for another twentyfour was it twentyfour? He tried to reckon, but
somehow his brain seemed dull. Yes, it must be twentyfour, and in twentyfour hours hence that sunlight
would be on his wall in just the selfsame place, showing just the selfsame surroundings. And another
twentyfour hours, and another, and another, and another. It would go on for ever, the same weary procession
of days, unchanging, unalterable, until some day, perhaps, the rain would come, and then they could go back
and work at their claim. And what was six months out of a man's life, if only he got what he desired in the
end? Nothing, surely nothing. Who has not waited six months for success? And the gold was there, there for
the taking. Allan was pretty sure of it, and Allan was a careful Scotchman; and once they had it well, he
would be rich, no need to stay any longer in this Godforsaken hole. He could go where he pleased, have
what he wanted, and Nancy Annie Marsden would be Mrs Josiah Sampson.
He let the letter slip through his fingers on to the floor, and the faintest little breath of wind the very ghost
of a breeze that was springing up with the evening caught it and turned it over and over till it reached the
corner, and held it there against the wall. Tap, tap! Then a pause. Tap, tap! It was the only sound that broke
the stillness. It seemed quite loud and echoed in his ears. With his elbows on his knees and his chin on his
hands, he stared at it and thought dully how he had longed and watched and counted the hours for that letter,
and now he sat there calmly and allowed it to lie on the floor. Then the fancy came to him, and he took out
the first letter the long treasured letter and he dropped it, too, on to the ground to see if the wind would
treat it in the same way. But it was old and worn, the paper had lost its crispness, and it lay there at his feet
like an old friend, pitifully, silently reproaching him with ingratitude. All that letter had been to him, and he
let it lie there on the hard ground! Without a voice it cried out to him, till he put his head in his hands and
rocked himself to and fro in speechless misery. That bit of frayed paper had been so much to him, and yet it
had meant just nothing at all to Nancy, just nothing at all. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she had
written, and yet she had meant so little by the words that seemed to him so sacred and so binding. She had
understood him so little that two months later she could write, "I might be old and shrivelled, and you would
think it an awful bore to have to marry me, and hate me ever after; and I wouldn't like you to do that, so I
think we had better stop right here." And she hadn't even given him the chance of pleading his own cause.
She had clinched the matter at once by getting engaged to another man; she had waited to write to him even
till she had fixed her weddingday. Oh, the cruelty of it the selfish thoughtlessness! Thoughtfulness
would be a better word, for she must have felt her engagement would settle matters. He picked up the letter at
his feet and straightened out the crumpled paper, and laid his face against it like a child for a moment; then he
stepped across the hut, picked up the other, and folded the two together, though it cost him an effort, for he
felt as if he were doing the first dear letter a grave injustice. But it had lied to him, too, in a way, it had
buoyed him up with false hopes, and so he folded them together and put them in his pocket. And as he did so
the sunbeams stretched up to the roof, and went out suddenly and left him in the dark. He stared at the wall
for a minute, and then came back and stood in the doorway, and watched the golden light die out in the west.
Another day was done, another long, hot, weary day, and there was nothing for him but a succession of long
weary days like this one no change, no hope of change, nothing to look forward to, and the girl he loved
and trusted had played him false.
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"Oh, my God, my God!" he moaned. "I would rather have seen her die."
Allan had gauged her accurately, and Allan had loved her too. Ah! but he had not loved her as he had done.
She did not even seem to understand the wrong she was doing him. She was of the world, worldlywise, and
every one in her world and his would say she had acted rightly. How could he complain? She was dainty and
pretty and lovable. If he had been rich, if only he had had just enough to marry her, she would have been true
to him. But she wanted to be married, she as good as told him so, and as she could not get him well, she
put up with somebody else. That is what her letter amounted to. She did care for him? In a way, yes, but not
enough, or it was her mother's or the world's training.
"My God!" he muttered between his teeth; "it is damnable the way they bring women up."
Oh, she had cared for him,she had cared, but her training had been too much for her. She could not believe in
a man's love, certainly not in his constancy, and therefore she would sacrifice nothing for him, would risk
nothing for him. It was time she was settled in life, and he laughed bitterly to himself. That was the refrain of
an old song, wasn't it? Yes, something about 'old Margery,' and he laughed again. The stupidity, the folly of
it, the wickedness of it, a fresh young girl like his little sweetheart deliberately tying herself to a man she
cared nothing for he was very sure she cared nothing for him an utterly unsuitable man, just because
"it was time she was settled in life." Wasn't there anybody by to save her? No, there was no one not one.
"Father and mother are so pleased." And he went outside and walked straight ahead in fierce impotence. He
could do nothing, just nothing. It seemed to him his own life was ended. The main spring was broken; there
was nothing to live for now. The only thing to be done was to crush down this fierce unrest, this hopeless
longing for what could never be his. She was to be married in April, married in April, and in all probability it
was April now. So he walked on swiftly across the level plain, and the crisp, dry, salt bush crunched beneath
his feet, and the stars, brilliant with a tropical brightness, came out as by magic in the soft, dark, velvety sky.
He hated that bright, spangled dark sky. He would have given a great deal for a sky of stormladen clouds
with the moon just breaking through, or no moon at all, but the rushing wind and the pouring rain. A great
deal? But he was bankrupt; he had nothing to give nothing at all. The woman he believed in had played
him false, and it would matter little to him henceforward what the skies above were like; he only wanted to
get through his life quickly and have done with it, and it crawled away so intolerably slowly. It was an age
since the morning. This night already was stretching into an eternity, and he quickened his pace as if by so
doing he could make the minutes fly. And even so, when it was all over, what then? Always the salt bush
crushing under his feet, and overhead and all round as far as the eye could see the brilliant, clear sky. But he
walked on and on, till at last, for very weariness, he stumbled and lay where he fell because there was nothing
in the world to get up for; he was tired, and he might just as well lie there as anywhere else. And then he
dozed a little and when he wakened the plain was light, and the moon, a little out of shape and old, but
fierce and red and hot, was just rising over the jagged peaks in the east. So he might as well go back, and he
rose to his feet and stumbled back, watching the moon rise higher in the heavens. He walked slowly now. His
walking fast did not get him through life any quicker; it only wearied him, and there was nothing to hurry for.
Then he thought of his mother, his poor mother, who had written so regularly to her boy. In his heart he was
sore against women, against all women, but he knew she would have given all she possessed to make her boy
happy, and the thought comforted him not one jot. His poor mother! He only wished she would be happy
without him, would not worry about him. Ah! it was a cruel world. Things didn't seem to be properly fixed
up, somehow.
And when he reached his hut again he would not go inside. He was very weary, but how could he bear to go
in and lie on his bed and think. The moonlight was coming in through the window, he knew that well enough,
and he knew that from his bed he could just see where it fell on the doorpost, showing up so clearly the nicks
he had cut to mark the time for the coming of the letter. And the letter had come, and there was nothing more
to look forward to: he could not lie and look at the notches he had cut when he had hope.
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Now there was nothing to hope for, nothing to be disappointed and heartsick about, that was a comfort. If no
rain came for the next two years, for the next forty years, he would not mind. He was not fit for any exertion,
for any sustained effort, and yet he plodded on steadily eastward this time looking up every now and
then at the moon as she sailed higher into the sky. Yes, there was comfort in that. Fate had done her worst for
him he need fear nothing more.
How the night passed he could hardly have told, only it did wear away somehow, and when the moonlight
began to pale before the rosy light of morning, and the sun rose up behind the jagged peaks in the east, he
found himself away out on the plain, watching, with eyes that saw not, the glorious gold and grey of the
sunrise, while he himself was an object of interest to hundreds of crows, who sat on the ground in rings round
him, and flew cawing over his head. He laughed aloud as the sunlight shone on their handsome blueblack
plumage.
"Why, they think I'm mad or lost," he said aloud, and he waved his hands at them, and made some of them
move lazily and leisurely into a back row. "Not yet, mates, not yet. Have a little patience, I dare say your turn
will come by and by," and he turned round and went slowly back to his hut. And it angered him and worried
him not a little that the crows came too.
Had they ever followed him before had they? He tried to think. They were always there, of course, always
ready to pounce on a poor sick sheep, or tear out the eyes of an unprotected lamb, but they had never looked
at him like that before, he was sure they never had. They knew oh, the crows were wise that he would
never go away from here now, that he would die here, and then they would pick out his eyes. Yes, they knew
it very well. That would be the end, only it would not be just yet, and he must get back to see to the well, for
that was what he was here for. The sheep would die if they had no water.
But when the windmill was fixed up, he ran hurriedly to his hut, looking furtively over his shoulder to see
that the crows were not following him, and once inside he shut the door fast and pulled a box across it, and
felt a sense of triumph in the fact that he had successfully outwitted them.
Then he lay down on his bed and drew his hand across his eyes. Surely he must be mad to fear the crows; he
knew well enough they would not attack even a sheep as long as it was strong and well, let alone a man. He
must be going mad to be afraid of them. Going mad? He must be mad indeed, and he crossed the hut and took
a good draught of water there was no tea made and tried to eat some of the damper he had made before
he went to see Morrison, but it was dry and he could not eat it; there was fresh flour now, he would make
some more by and by. It did not matter much, there was no hurry nothing mattered now. He lay down on
the bed and tried to read his letters, but the lines of writing were all blurred and danced before his eyes, and
when he opened the illustrated papers it was just the same, he could not read them, he could not even look at
the pictures. He had not slept the night before, he told himself, that was what was the matter; but even now he
could not rest, and he found himself perpetually walking round and round the hut, keeping his eyes carefully
away from the notches he had cut in the doorpost, because it seemed to him it would pain him to look at
them, and ever now and then walking softly, so that the crows would not hear him. He ought to be dead, they
were waiting for him, but it wasn't time yet not quite yet, Allan was coming down soon, and he would
want his papers and things, and to hear the news, and the crows must wait, and he laughed aloud. And the
sound of his own laughter brought him to his senses again.
What was this horrible thing that was coming over him? Was he going mad? Mad! He had heard of such
things. Shepherds who had lost their senses from very loneliness, from sheer want of human companionship.
But that had been after years of loneliness, and it was only yesterday he had seen Allan Morrison only
yesterday he had been full of hopes for the future. A girl's faithlessness could not make all this wide
difference. Such things happened every day in his world, every day; it was ridiculous to think he would go
mad for that. He would take up his life and make a good thing of it, in spite of all she had done; he would
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show her he would have been worth waiting for he would begin this very moment. Ah, but there was
nothing to do, nothing whatever, but to tend the windmill once in twentyfour hours, and to watch the weary
hours go round; nothing whatever to do, but to count the hours and watch the crows.
And so it began again, the whole weary round. He was afraid of the crows they terrified him, they made
him shudder, and the horror of his lonely helplessness was strong upon him. Then he would shake that off;
remember, he was a strong young man, not yet thirty, with all his life still to be lived; all his life with its great
possibilities, and for one moment he was hopeful and happy; but only for a moment. The thought of Nancy
pretty, dainty, laughing, loving Nancy came to him. He longed for the sound of her voice, for the touch
of her hand, just to take her in his arms for one brief moment, to make her understand, as he was sure he
could, that she belonged to him and to no other man. But it might not be, and he would chafe and fret and
weary over it, till the thought of the crows came back to him in spite of himself, and he hid his face in his
blankets to keep out the horrid sight, and then hastily raised it again, because he fancied there was a crow on
the narrow windowsill watching him, and he could not bear to be taken unawares.
And so it went on the livelong day. He ate nothing, he did not want to eat, only his mouth was parched, and
he drank a little water now and then; and when the darkness came he stole out into the cool, soft night, and
walked up and down till at last for very weariness he dozed a little on the ground. Not for long, though. His
thoughts crowded on him too quickly to allow him to rest. All the livelong night he seemed to be trying to
arrange some scheme of life for himself, something that should rescue him from the horror of dreary
loneliness; but it grew harder to concentrate his thoughts, and when the morning came and he saw the crows
round him looking at him with their evil eyes, he ran back to his hut and barred the door again, and forgot
even to attend to the windmill, which was his reason for being there at all.
Up and down his hut he walked, up and down, and then across, and he began to look furtively at the gun in
the corner, only furtively as yet, because he was not quite mad and he knew what he was doing, and he knew
that life might hold many happy days for him yet, even though he could not see them; and why should he take
his own life simply because a girl had proved unfaithful, when girls were doing that every day. There was his
mother to be thought of, and his sisters, and yes, there were the crows, they were
A loud knocking and pushing at his door brought him to a sudden standstill in his walk. Could it be possible
they had grown so bold?
"Ned, old man, are you dead? What the devil "
He took one step across the little room and drew away the box, and in stepped Allan Morrison, Lassie
following close at his heels.
"Good Lord, Ned, what are you barred up in this way for? Didn't you hear me come up? I put my horse in the
paddock there, and I must have been knocking a good ten minutes. I began to think you must be away. What
do you have the door shut for?"
"The crows " began Kirkham, and then hesitated. What had he been dreaming about? There was Morrison
and his dog, if they had been angels from heaven they could not have been more welcome; but with them
standing there and the bright sunlight flooding the little hut it was the height of foolishness to fear the crows
or anything else.
"The crows?" repeated Morrison, in astonishment.
"I I was dreaming," hesitated Kirkham. "Come in, old man. I'm very glad to see you. I didn't think you
would come so soon."
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"Well, you see," hesitated Morrison in his turn, "I I I heard from Phoebe Marsden she is a ripper is
that girl you had got some bad news," he turned his eyes away from Kirkham's worn and haggard face,
"and I thought perhaps, seeing you were all alone, perhaps you wouldn't object to the company of a mate."
"Come in," repeated Kirkham, "do come in, and and sit down and have something. I'm afraid," he
added, "I've neglected things a bit lately."
Even a bushman's hut can look uncared for and untidy, and Morrison, as he stepped across the threshold and
looked round, felt that things certainly had been neglected a bit lately. That the majority of his cousin's
possessions should be on the floor did not surprise him. A bushman's things very often have to be on the floor
for want of any other place to put them, but they seemed to have been kicked there, as indeed they had, for
Kirkham had felt the need in his restlessness of having as much space at his disposal as possible, and had
piled up his scanty belongings in order to provide that space. He looked down on them guiltily, feeling that
Allan must needs read in that hopeless confusion something of his state during the last fortyeight hours, and
he was ashamed now that he had come. How could he how could any sane man, have gone on as he had
done for the last two days? What would Allan think of him?
"Whew," whistled Morrison, cheerfully, as he disinterred the flourbag, and proceeded to lug it across into its
own corner again, "you have been making hay of things generally, old man. I suppose it was a relief to your
feelings. One generally wants to do something of that sort, I notice. Paint the town red, or run amuck, as a
sort of let out," and he raised the sugar bag and put it beside the flour.
Lassie was sitting in the doorway, making ineffectual snaps at the flies that buzzed around her, and Kirkham,
with a sudden feeling of weariness, sat down on the box beside her, and leaned back against the wall.
"I'm sorry I've no tucker ready,old man," he said, "but the truth is, I've been off my feed lately. There are no
points about feeding alone."
"We'll soon mend that. You take a snooze, old chap, and I'll have something ready by the time you wake. No,
now lie on the bed, man. Lie down and rest a bit, and I'll straighten things up. We've come over to stop for a
day or two, perhaps a week."
Kirkham looked at him doubtfully. He had a horrible suspicion he had been making a fool of himself, and
that his cousin knew it, but Morrison only tapped him on the shoulder kindly.
"Come, old man, you'd do as much for me if I were a bit out of sorts."
So he suffered himself to be led, and lay down obediently and watched Allan hunt out the materials for a billy
of tea. Then he went outside to light the fire, but Kirkham lay still, for he saw that Lassie still wagged her tail
softly in the doorway, and he felt safe, and what he did not see was the sign that Allan made to her to stay
there. And presently Allan came back with a pannikinful of strong, sweet tea, such as bushmen drink, and
Kirkham drank it gratefully. Nothing so refreshing, it seemed to him, had passed his lips for a long time, and
he lay back and closed his eyes for a moment, and before he realised it was sound asleep.
It was many hours after when he awakened with a start and a remembrance that something strange had
happened to him, and as he sat up, sleepily rubbing his eyes, he saw that Allan was sitting on the box in the
middle of the hut smoking a pipe and looking over an illustrated paper by the dim light of a slush lamp. All
the while he had been here Kirkham had never found it worth his while to make a slush lamp, and to his
waking eyes, with the smell of the strong station tobacco in his nostrils, it seemed to him the little bare hut
had never looked so cosy and homelike.
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Allan heard him stirring, and looking up from his paper peered over into the darkness.
"Awake, old man? Feel better for your snooze. Another man! Come, that's all right. If you come outside and
dip your head in a bucket of cold water you'll feel right as a trivet, and we'll feed by the light of the moon. I
see her ladyship's getting up over the hills there."
Kirkham did as he was bid, and the two men made an evening meal outside off fried chops and damper and
highly sweetened tea. Morrison had killed a sheep, and the carcase hung against the corner of the hut, and the
guest raked up conversation on every conceivable subject, while his host ate in silence. Morrison looked at
him anxiously at first, but seeing he did eat, he pulled Lassie's ears gratefully, and heaved a sigh of
thankfulness as he filled his pipe.
Kirkham did the same, lighted it up, blew a wreath or two of smoke, and then laid it down.
"What in God's name made you come over here today, Allan?"
"For company, old man, and to see the papers. The divarsions over at Merri are a bit limited."
"But we'd met only a day or two back."
"Well, if you don't want me," laughed his cousin, "Lassie and I'll "
"No, no, my God! I never was so thankful to see any one, only if you only knew it seemed so opportune, so
"
"You see," said Morrison, interrupting him, "I may as well tell you the truth, old chap. After you were gone
Lassie and I got talking about you Lassie's mighty good company I can tell you and we came to the
conclusion that you weren't bearing the loneliness well, that your mother wouldn't be pleased with your looks
at all, and we determined to come over under the week and see how you were getting along. Then the mail
came, and, as I told you before, I had a letter from Phoebe Marsden she's a ripping good girl, that I can tell
you and she told me some news I knew you wouldn't like, and said how she'd got Nancy to write to you,
and and well, you see, old chap, I thought I mean it's a blow, of course, it must be, after you'd
been counting on her, and we sorter thought after the first the first "
Morrison was getting hopelessly muddled in his endeavour to conceal his real anxiety and sympathy under
the guise of a simple, friendly desire to cheer a friend up; but out of the weariness of the last two months, the
horror of the last two days Kirkham understood and stretched out a hand and wrung his gratefully.
"I somehow I think I was regularly off my chump last night," he said, turning his face away from the
flickering firelight. "I don't know what I mightn't have done if you hadn't turned up when you did."
"Oh, nonsense, old man, you were all right a bit out of sorts, that's all and then the disappointment and
the loneliness. Loneliness always sort of aggravates things."
But he knew very well, and Kirkham, though he accepted his explanation knew very well, too, that it had
very nearly been something more serious with him than a passing "out of sorts." He shuddered when he
thought of the last two days.
It is a fact that men don't confide in one another as women do, but these two were alone in the wilderness. It
was night in the open air, and their only light was the moonlight and the glow from the dying fire; their pipes
were alight, and one was firmly convinced in his own mind that the other had saved him from taking his own
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life, and the other, though he said nothing, had more than a suspicion of the truth. The occasion seemed even
to demand confidences. You cannot live at high pressure for long; human nature won't stand it; the reaction
must come at length, and after the long weary months of waiting, the agony of bitter disappointment that had
so crushed him for two miserable days, it had come at last to Kirkham, bringing with it a desire to speak
freely to the man who had helped him in his need, to see in what light an impartial eye like his would view
the conduct of the girl who had been so much to him. Clearly he was getting better; he almost realised it
himself. There is no doubt about it, when we can talk of our sorrow, even to our most intimate friend, the first
sting has gone out of it, and we are on the mend.
For a few minutes the two men sat puffing on their pipes in silence, then Kirkham took his out of his mouth
and remarked
"So Phoebe wrote to you. I wonder what the dickens made her do that?"
"It is possible, mind you I don't say it's probable, but it is just possible that she had a friendly feeling for a
poor beggar out here in the wilds with no one to take any interest in him. All the girls may go for your
goodlooking phiz, old man, but maybe there are exceptions!" "Oh, decidedly there are exceptions, large
exceptions," said Kirkham, ruefully. "The only girl I want " "There are good fish in the sea, old chap, as
ever came out of it. Nancy may be the more taking, but I've always maintained, even when I was head over
heals in love with her, that there was more real grit in her sister's little finger." "Unfortunately we don't seem
to want the real grit," said Kirkham, still more ruefully. "Unfortunately we don't. I don't know though. I
wouldn't like to say how much these letters Phoebe Marsden writes to me are worth to me. It's good to think
that somebody cares enough about you in a friendly way to write to you so regularly. Sometimes she sends
me papers too, poor girl, and I know she's so hard up that even the postage must be a consideration. By Jove!
that's the sort of woman, she'd stick to through thick and thin." "She'd run the risk of you're not wanting her
when you did turn up because she was old and shrivelled." "You might take your oath on it." "And suppose
you didn't want her," mused Kirkham. "Well, it would be mighty rough on her, but she'd not hold you to your
word. Oh, there's the makings of a grand woman in Phoebe Marsden."
If Phoebe could only have heard him! And it was all because she had written to him and sympathised with
him when he was lonely, and the world was going against him.
"And Nancy?" asked Kirkham, with some hesitation.
"Well Nancy, old man I've been very bad there, so I can speak with feeling is just one of those
charming little girls whom a fellow can't help getting gone on. She's got a way with her there's no resisting;
but you mustn't count on her, bless you, no. She has got a vein of selfishness along with it all that makes her
think of herself first. She always preferred you to me, so I ought to bear no grudge against her, but the little
flirt had a way of insinuating that it was my own fault I wasn't the favoured one. I knew it was all rot, of
course, and she cared more for your little finger than all my body put together; but still she did it, and it kept
me dangling on a string adoring her when I might have been far better employing my time finding out the
good qualities of her sister. I expect that's why the little minx did it. Those sort of women can't bear to see
any one preferred before them."
"Much she cared for me," said Kirkham. "Why, she didn't even wait to throw me over before she got engaged
to another man. And after the way she wrote I thought I thought but she got engaged before breaking
with me, and writes to tell me she's going to be married in April," he finished, bitterly.
"She couldn't make up her mind to hurt you, she wanted you to think well of her. It's the way of those sort of
women. It's a charming way, too, often, but sometimes it don't work out right. Phoebe's evidently in an awful
way about it, she's afraid you'll feel it so."
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"She needn't trouble her head," said Kirkham, with an uncomfortable feeling that he was an object of pity.
"Oh, I'll write and tell her you're all right. She says she posted the letter Nancy's letter to you so I
suspect you'd never have got it at all if it hadn't been for her. She's a dainty, lovable little girl, is Nancy
Marsden, but I'm not so sure she'd be desirable as a wife, and for a long uncertain engagement, old man,
you're well out of it, I congratulate you."
Which might be all very true, but Kirkham was hardly equal to looking at things in that light yet. It was all
very well for Morrison to talk, he had not been cruelly jilted. Still, by the light of the slush lamp before he
turned in that night, he read all his mother's letters, and Morrison noted that he had to open all the envelopes.
On the whole, he thought as he closed his eyes, it was a good job he had come over to Lone Hand outstation
without waiting to think things over.
CHAPTER XV. A WORD OF PRAISE FOR PHOEBE
Doth the wild ass bray when he hath grass? Or loweth the ox over his
fodder? JOB.
"Mr and Mrs Josiah Sampson request the pleasure of Mr and Mrs Hammond's company, ought I to say
pleasure or honour, Phoebe?"
"Government House cards always have 'honour'."
"But that's for a ball. This is for a dinner. How do they ask you to dinner?"
"I don't know, I'm sure. I've never been asked, and I'm not likely to be. Put whichever you think best. It can't
matter."
"Oh, but it does. Mrs Josiah Sampson oh doesn't it look horrid?"
"Oh, Nancy, how can you? And Joe is so good to you."
"So he ought to be. Didn't I become Mrs Josiah Sampson just to please him, when I'd much rather have been
Mrs Somebody else?"
"Nancy! oh Nancy, what a dreadful thing to say! And you haven't been six months married!"
"It's more dreadful to feel it, after all. Yes, I know what you are going to say. Joe is very good to me, I
suppose. Everybody is always telling me he is, any way. But, after all, it is a mistake to get married. You
don't feel a bit different to what you were when you were a girl, and then there is all the bother of it and none
of the fun."
"You have got such a good husband, and plenty of money," murmured Phoebe, laying down the book she was
reading she had come in, as she often did, to spend a week with her sister in Ballarat "and pretty
dresses and and "
"In fact everything I was always longing for," laughed Nancy, a little bitterly, as she shook out her penful of
ink all over her dainty monogrammed paper. "There, bother it, I've spoiled another sheet. Why should I
trouble? I'll have the card engraved, that's the proper thing to do," and she flung herself down on the
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comfortably cushioned broad window seat opposite Phoebe, and looked out discontentedly over the green
lawn where the young oaks and elms were just bursting into leaf, and the sparrows were twittering cheerfully
in the bright spring sunshine.
Nancy Sampson had everything that the heart of woman could wish for. Her husband had spared no expense
to make her comfortable, and whether Phoebe looked out over the garden and lawns that surrounded the
dainty cottage, or whether she looked inside at the carpet floors, the rich hangings, the cosy cushions, the
bright silver and sparkling glass, so totally different to anything that Nancy had been accustomed to in her
own scrambly home, she could only see in it all a man's ardent desire to surround the woman he loved with
every luxury, to make her happy if it was in man's power to make her so. It was pathetic, thought Phoebe,
looking at her sister's discontented face, so much love wasted and gone wrong. For Nancy was sweet and
lovable, and yet to her unlucky husband she always showed her worst side. It almost seemed sometimes as if
she bore him a grudge.
"I tell you what it is, Phoeb," she said, surveying discontentedly her pretty shoes, there was no need for her to
tuck her feet out of sight now. "I'll just tell you what it is, it is really a great mistake to get married. You just
don't feel a bit different, only bothered sometimes; and if you have got a little fun to look forward to, it
doesn't matter in the least what your carpet is like, you don't mind if it is linoleum all holes, and as for frocks
" and Nancy looked disdainfully down at her own smart silk.
"Oh, Nan! you know you always loved pretty frocks."
"I thought I did. You don't know these things till you are really married. Just think what jolly fun it used to be
doing up my frocks in our old room, scraping up the ribbon from all corners, and so glad when one made a
thing do, and some one came along and told one how nice one looked. It was fun. Now it don't matter if I do
look nice: I ought to, when I never get a dress under ten or twelve guineas. If I had only ten guineas a year
ago, what fun we would have had spending it. It was fun then to make Joe admire me," and Nancy heaved a
heavy sigh.
"Oh, Nan, but he admires you now."
"'My dear, you look remarkably nice!' That is just exactly what he says, and he always says the same thing,
always, always, always, and he stands a good distance off, as if he were afraid of spoiling my clothes, and in
fact, he is just as wooden as he ever can be."
"Oh, Nancy, Nancy," cried Phoebe, distressed. If this was the way a six months' wife talked what would be
the end.
"Say something more original than 'Nancy, Nancy,'" pouted that young lady.
"Why don't you run at him and put your arms round his neck, and tell him you want him to admire you,"
suggested Phoebe, hesitatingly.
"Goodness me, you might just as well embrace the telegraph pole."
"Nan, dear, that is just nonsense. He is so good and kind and thoughtful for you that you ought to take that
into consideration, it is a sign how fond he is of you, and I expect if you only cared to show him the way he
would show his feelings a little more openly. Nan, it is mean of you to be so hard on him."
"Hard on him?" Nancy opened her blue eyes wide. "How am I hard on him? He wanted me and he has got
me. And I never get out of temper, at least not much, and stop at home lots of times when I would rather go
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out, and I look after the house properly, and it is as dull as ditch water, and I'm bored to death. You don't
know what it is like when you are not here. I think I must always have one of you here, you, or Lyd, or Nell; I
would rather have you, of course. Phoebe, you must come and live with us, of course, why didn't I think of
that before. Joe is really fond of you. I believe he is less woodeny when you are here. You provide him with
something to talk about, and make me look at him in a better light."
"I can't live with you, Nan. You know very well I can't. I have got the bees to look after; I can come and stay
with you sometimes if you'll have me; but I wouldn't live with you for anything. And Nanny," she got up and
put her hand lovingly on her sister's shoulder, "do promise me one thing. I expect you are a little out of sorts
just now or you wouldn't talk of your husband like this. It is quite safe with me, you know it is, but do
promise me you won't talk like this to anybody else, not to Lyd, or Nell, or mother, or anybody. You might be
sorry for it you know some day. You'll feel quite different when your baby comes."
"I shan't. I don't want a baby. I never did want one. Hateful little things."
"Well," said Phoebe, laughing. "I suppose you took that into consideration. Folks mostly do have babies
when they get married, and if they don't they seem to want them."
"Oh, of course, Joe wants it, but I don't."
"Huxley says every woman is a potential mother."
"Bother Huxley! What did he know about it?"
"He seems to have known a good deal, I think," said her sister.
Nancy stretched over and picked up Phoebe's book and turned over to the title page.
"Lay sermons! Goodness gracious me, Phoebe, whatever makes you read that! It looks dreadfully dry," and
she turned over the pages rapidly.
"Joe told you it was well worth reading last night at dinner, don't you remember, so I went into his study this
morning and got it. Nan, dear, it is awfully interesting. Your husband would be so pleased."
"Sermons? Sermons are dreadful dry things, I never can listen to them. I always go to sleep."
"Pulpit sermons, oh, of course," with a certain amount of contempt in her voice; "I don't often listen to them
myself. They are sleepy things if one may judge by their usual effect on the congregation; but these are
something quite different. A man who had thought a lot and knew a lot wrote these."
"I can't read these sort of books," said Nancy, turning over the leaves, "they are much too dry. Joe reads them,
and once or twice he has tried to tell me about them; but I soon showed him they weren't in my line. That's
the worst of Joe. Just fancy waxing quite eloquent over a dry old thing like that, and when one really has
something interesting to talk about, he is so mum, he is quite a wet blanket. You can't possibly talk to him."
"But, Nan, if you were only to try and be interested in the things he liked! Read this book and talk about it
and see how pleased he would be."
"What book?"
"Why, mother!"
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Both the girls started as Mrs Marsden walked into the room.
"Your carpets are so nice and thick, Nancy," she said. "The boys really wanted boots so badly I had to come
in, though how they are to be paid for I'm sure I don't know. Your father hasn't made a five pound note this
week."
"It is only Tuesday," suggested Nancy, cheerfully. "Things will look up if you give them time. I suppose
Phoebe's allowance for this month has gone wrong as usual."
"Your father really hasn't got the money," said her mother, taking off her bonnet and smoothing down her
glossy black hair before the glass. "You don't know, Nancy, how thankful I am to see you so comfortably
married."
Nancy gave an impatient little shrug to her shoulders, and Mrs Marsden settled herself in an armchair with a
sigh.
"What is the book Phoebe wants you to read, and who is going to be pleased? Joe?"
"It's Huxley," said Phoebe.
"Huxley, who is he? He wrote something learned, mathematics or something, didn't he?"
"I don't think he wrote mathematics," said Phoebe, doubtfully. "He might have, but I never heard of it. He is
very learned and interesting, and seems to know a lot about human nature as far as I have gone. He is rather
agnostic, I think," she added, wickedly, because she knew her mother would be shocked.
"Agnostic! Then, my dear child, don't let any one see you reading his book. It is most unbecoming and
unladylike. Books like that are only fit for men. They are only meant for men."
"I was sure you would say that. That is the way Huxley says girls are brought up. He says what is fit for their
brothers is not fit for them."
"He is quite right there, then," said Mrs Marsden, complacently, and Huxley stood a thought higher in her
estimation.
"Oh, he didn't mean it that way," said Phoebe, anxious to show that she had at least a learned man on her side
in her views on the bringing up of children, but Mrs Marsden cut her short.
"For goodness sake, Phoebe, put that book away. An agnostic book is a dreadful thing for a girl to read, and
recommending it to Nancy too, though to be sure a married woman may read what a single girl had better not
look at."
"I didn't recommend it to Nancy, Joe did. And as she wouldn't read it, I did. I was just saying he would be so
pleased if she would read it and discuss it with him."
"What nonsense!"
"It's not nonsense, mother. I heard him tell her to read the book myself."
"He might do that, but he never meant her to read it. He might like her to take it up and say it was dry and
uninteresting, and she thought he must be awfully clever to read it; depend on it that's what he wanted. There
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is nothing men hate so much as a learned woman."
"Oh, Phoeb is getting on that way," said Nancy, lazily goodnatured, "and Joe doesn't hate her, he is very
fond of her. I know he thinks a lot of Phoebe."
"Which of you two did he marry?" asked Mrs Marsden, solemnly. "That settles the question. Men talk a lot of
what a woman ought to be, but they just don't know what they want themselves. They talk about the frivolity
of women and how they would like them better educated and all the rest of it, but when they get a woman
who ought to be after their own heart, you would think, they don't marry her, they pass her by and take some
frivolous little girl with a pretty face, just the sort they have declared they don't want, and the other girl is left
lamenting; and depend on it marriage is the test."
Nancy laughed a little bitterly, and her sister looked out of the window at the bright morning sunlight. It was
galling to be told so often in effect that she was wanting in all that could make her attractive and charming,
and that all her desires after culture must be crushed down and hidden away if she hoped as what woman
does not hope to be some day in the future a wife and mother.
"Men are fools," she was thinking to herself, "they are they are. It can't do a woman any harm to know a
little," and then the comforting thought came to her that possibly her mother was wrong. Anyway there was
comfort in the fact that hers was a hopeless case from the beginning, and therefore she might as well do as
she pleased.
"I declare, mother," laughed Nancy, "you are hard on Phoeb. It really isn't fair to talk at her in that way."
"I'm not talking at Phoebe. I'm only just saying what I'm sure you must have seen dozens of times."
"Well, really," said Nancy, "I wonder what on earth we are all in such a hurry to get married for."
"I'm sure I'm very thankful you are so comfortably married. I wish the other girls were as much off my
mind."
"Well, Phoebe is getting quite goodlooking. Aren't you, Phoebe?"
"I?" said Phoebe, turning round startled. "I? Oh, no one was ever so kind as to call me goodlooking."
"Well, you are. Come now, isn't she, mother?"
Mrs Marsden looked critically at her eldest daughter.
"Phoebe's complexion has certainly been looking much clearer lately," she said, "and I believe she is giving
up that slouch, and keeps her hair tidier and does it more becomingly. Then that dress is becoming. You gave
her that dress, you see."
Mrs Marsden often felt antagonistic towards her eldest daughter. She did not approve of her ideas, though she
admitted she was a good girl at home, and the last year she had been showing so decidedly that she intended
to go her own way that she felt aggrieved and hardly ready to acknowledge that that way seemed to agree
with her personal appearance.
"Oh, Phoebe is quite goodlooking, I declare," said Nancy, the fact seeming to dawn on her all once. "Go and
look in the glass, Phoebe, and tell me if you don't think so yourself."
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Nancy had always desired mirrors in which to admire her pretty little self, and now she had one in every
room, even in this one which was the morning room.
"Don't blush, Phoebe yes, do, it improves your looks. Now go and look in the glass and see who is the
beauty of the family."
Phoebe got up slowly and shyly. That any one should even hint she was passable looking! It seemed
incredible. Then she stood in front of the mirror and saw reflected there a tall, finelooking young woman
clad in a wellfitting grey tweed dress with just a touch of scarlet at her throat. And her face! Could that
really be her plain face? Those dark eyes, those bright cheeks, those white teeth and smiling red lips, that
glossy dark hair that crowned her head why why it made up a handsome woman!
She turned to her sister, the flush of unexpected excitement and pleasure still on her face.
"Well, Phoebe, aren't you satisfied?"
Most women would have denied their satisfaction in their own looks, but Phoebe was too honestly delighted
and surprised for that. She put back her shoulders so as to make herself a thought more upright, and swept
back to her seat with an air that seemed to say the world lay at her feet and she would conquer.
"Nan," she said, suddenly, "and I'm close on twentyfive!"
"Well, you always said twentyfive shouldn't be old for a woman. Evidently you are going to prove it. If you
go on like this you'll be a professional beauty by the time you are fifty. Won't she, mother? Did you ever see
anybody improve so?"
"Phoebe certainly is greatly improved," said Mrs Marsden, hesitatingly. As she herself would have said, she
never did like these large women, "and I don't know how it is," she went on "she never goes out anywhere.
Just pokes about her bees all day long, and reads all sorts of dry books in her spare time. It is a dull enough
life, goodness knows. I wonder she doesn't take the pleasures that come in her way," and Mrs Marsden
sighed. She was greatly concerned about her eldest daughter.
"Because they wouldn't be pleasures to me, mother, and I don't neglect anything I ought to do, now, do I?"
"No, but "
"Nan," Phoebe turned to her sister with a glowing face. She had just discovered that her foot was on the first
rung of the ladder that leads to success, and the way looked fair and easy before her. "Nan, it is the bees have
done it. They are getting on so well. I've six hives six frame hives and before the end of summer I
believe I'll have some more. And I have an extractor and I don't have any difficulty in selling my honey now.
The next lot I'm going to send to Melbourne. I wrote to the Mutual Store about it last week, and I'm to let
them know. I'll have a beefarm soon."
"You haven't a rag to your back except what Nancy gives you," said her mother, severely.
"Never mind. The bees must come first. They'll buy me dresses by and by, I know. You don't understand,
mother."
"I do not, indeed," said Mrs Marsden, still severely. "It wouldn't be much still if you would spend your
allowance upon yourself £2 10s for an extractor when you haven't got a decent pair of boots!"
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"Never mind, mother," said Phoebe, serenely. "It will all come right in the end, you see," and she gave a little
satisfied sigh.
Nancy looked at her mother's face and laughed, perhaps a little bitterly. If Phoebe was sure she was right, she,
Nancy, was beginning to think she might have made a mistake.
"Don't worry, mother," she said. "You have married one of your daughters very comfortably, haven't you?
You can afford to let the other do as she likes. One sacrifice is enough."
"Sacrifice, Nancy? Why, Nancy what do you want?" and her mother looked round the comfortable room.
"Oh, nothing, mother. That is just a way of putting it. Only Phoebe is improving to such an extent under her
own management you had better let her alone. And you are going to stop to luncheon, mother, aren't you?
Ring the bell, Phoebe, dear, and tell Jessie to lay another place."
CHAPTER XVI. PHOEBE'S HAND IS FORCED
"'I saw a little girl,' said the moon, 'who was weeping over the wickedness of the world. She
had been presented with a most beautiful doll as a present. It certainly was a very pretty doll,
so fair and delicate, and not made to bear the rough usage of this world. But the brothers of this
little girl, those great, naughty boys, had set the doll high up in the branches of a tree, and had
run away. The little girl could not reach up to the doll to help her down, and that is why she
was crying.'" HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN.
"First blood, first blood!" yelled Tom Marsden, bending down from his barebacked Shetland pony and
poking hard at the old sow with the wrong end of his mother's best carpetbroom. And then, because the
pony was barebacked, and her only bridle was a halter, while her rider was simply attired in a very scanty
pair of drawers, as the broomhandle slipped off the sow's fat back he slipped too, and struck earth with some
force, while the hunt, amidst wild cries of 'first blood,' swept over him away down the home paddock. The
hunt consisted only of the old sow and Jack now that Tom was out of it, but he arose proud and happy, and
promptly gave chase to his fiery steed, assisted by Frank and Charlie, frantically waving their sacks sacks
were supposed to be the insignia of beaters or syces, both of which they were in turn yelling at the tops of
their voices. On the top of the orchard fence were perched Lydia and Nellie, sharing in the excitement in a
somewhat shamefaced and doubtful manner. They were a little uncertain whether they ought to be there at all,
and they were very sure that both their father and mother would be very angry if they knew that the moment
their backs were turned, and they were supposed to be safe for the day, a mighty pighunt was inaugurated.
Decidedly they had not the least idea what excellent training their pigs were in, and how extremely smartly
they could double. It was awkward, certainly, when the hunt went too close to the bush fence at the bottom of
the paddock, for, once ensconced amongst logs and stumps, as every sportsman knows, a pig has the best of
it, and it is difficult to dislodge him. There was a tradition in the family that the old black and white sow had
spent the night there on one occasion when the shades of night had overtaken the hunters all too soon, and the
teabell had rung, peremptorily demanding their presence at the house before they had succeeded in
dislodging her. The Marsden family, including Phoebe, whom they had to confide in, went to bed that night
with a weight as of a fearful crime on their minds, which was added to in the case of the boys by Pat, the man
who fed the pigs, making his way to their room "at the dead of night" ten o'clock probably and
threatening them with all manner of pains and penalties, not excepting a thrashing from "yer pappa" if that
pig were not in her sty before he went the rounds in the morning. Jack got up at three o'clock in the morning
he said hunters often had to do that and "pigsticking" went out of favour for some time, and the
"wargame" took its place.
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But it was such a bright, sunny April day a Saturday too and, with the powers that were both away, it
seemed a distinct throwing away of chances not to take advantage of their absence. There mightn't be a fine
Saturday with father and mother both away for goodness knows when. It was always possible to play the
"wargame" down in the far paddocks out of sight of the house. To be sure, if Mr or Mrs Marsden should
happen to wander down that way they might be astonished and shocked at the sight of four of their sons in a
state of nature careering round as Zulus; but it would just have added zest to the entertainment to stalk their
parents, and Tom and Jack had the firmest faith in their own skill as savage chiefs, and were quite sure they
could hide their impi from the enemy among the scrub and undergrowth in the paddocks. Anyhow, they had
not yet been discovered, but "pigsticking" was quite another thing. To begin with, it required the pigs, and
must take place in the home paddock, which had been under cultivation, and was close to the house. So the
decree had gone forth that in consequence of this conjunction of favourable circumstances there would be a
right royal pighunt this sunny April afternoon. Phoebe knew of it, of course; she could hardly fail to do so
with the howls and joyous shrieks of the hunters ringing in her ears, and, like her young sisters, she was
doubtful what line of conduct she ought to adopt. Personally, the savage in her would have liked nothing
better than to have sat on the orchard fence alongside Lydia and Nellie, and have bestowed on the hunters her
unqualified approval; but then she, as the eldest, and so much the eldest, felt in a measure responsible not
only for the safety of those pigs, but for the boys themselves, and again she was handicapped, for not one of
the four would pay the least attention to her. They did not care a snap of the fingers whether she approved of
the pigsticking or not. They reckoned she would not be so "mean" as to tell of them, and, having satisfied
themselves on that point, they cared not one jot about anything else. After all, she was not worrying very
much today; not as much as she would have done a year ago, not near as much as she would have done two
years ago, when she was wont to enter frantic and ineffectual protests, and get laughed at for her pains. The
boys were beginning to think Phoebe wasn't half a bad old thing though she was an old maid. And today,
after looking surreptitiously over the fence, and seeing Tom come a cropper along with the best broom into a
nice soft mudhole, she quietly went back to her work among the bees again. The dirt on that broom would
have to be accounted for, and so might the dirt on Tom's drawers, but it was no business of hers; she had
some honey to extract, a good deal too considering she had been working not for honey but for bees, and she
had two Italian queens that had arrived by the post that morning all the way from H. L. Jones' apiary at
Goodna, Queensland, and if they were to do well they ought to be introduced to their new homes this very
night. Her bees were increasing; it was wonderful the way in which they were increasing. They certainly
amply repaid her for the care and attention she bestowed on them. She made them her first object in life. Not
a book on the subject that she could lay her hand on did she fail to read; she took in and studied carefully the
quaint American bee journal from Medina, Ohio, Gleanings in Bee Culture, edited by A. I. Root, and had
even gone the length of writing to Mr Root himself, asking his advice on various things that had puzzled her,
and had received in due course a kind and thoughtful answer beginning, "Dear Friend Phoebe Marsden."
It had given her a great deal of encouragement, that letter. She seemed to be working in company upon
wellworn tracks, not feebly and wearily breaking up a new road for herself which might possibly lead to
nowhere. Mr Root seemed to think it so natural that she should work at the bees, that she should want a little
help and advice, and had written as if there was no doubt in his mind that she would succeed. Here they all
thought her eccentric and laughed at her; even Nancy and Mrs Moore who helped her, and would help her all
they knew; but she felt they did not take her seriously. If they had been asked they would probably have said
it was a good thing that Phoebe had found something to interest her, and she might as well amuse herself with
this fad till she got married, she might have a chance of marrying now she was grown better looking.
Nothing, she was convinced, would make them understand that she wanted to be regarded in the same light as
a man. No man worked away "until he married," he worked steadily always for his living, and his marriage
might, often did, modify things, but it made no material difference to his work. No one ever thought of
looking at things in that light. Why wouldn't they regard her as a man who ought to be helped to gain his own
livelihood? But they wouldn't, so it was no good worrying about it; she must just work on, encouraged by Mr
Root, the unknown friend in a far country, and her quiet, undemonstrative brotherinlaw.
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Yes, she was thinking to herself this afternoon as she began making the hives smaller and closer for the
winter, what very good friends Josiah Sampson and she had become. To this silent, quiet man, she had
explained her hopes and fears as she had never explained them to her mother or sister; she had read the same
books with him and discussed them, and if his wife found his society dull his sisterinlaw never did. They
were the very best of friends. He was far more a brother to her, she thought, than her own brother Stanley,
whom, she knew in her heart, despised her for an uninteresting old maid, and, with the best wish in the world
to love your brother, the affection is apt to fade away if the brother tinges his with the faintest dash of
contempt. Josiah Sampson was a real brother to her, thought Phoebe Marsden gratefully; that much good had
come out of the marriage she had objected to so strongly, that she had tried so hard to stop. Luckily it never
occurred to her to try and analyse Josiah Sampson's feelings for her, it never occurred to her, as it might have
done to a more worldly woman, that there was danger in this friendship. He was her good, kind brother, and
she hated to hear Nancy grumble, because she knew he was a kind, tender husband, immensely proud of his
wife, and delighted with his monthold little boy. Perhaps, Phoebe thought she had thought so several
times there were moments when he was just the least bit disappointed in his wife, when he thought that
she need not have felt, or at least shown that she felt, that in bestowing herself on him she had done all that
was necessary in a wife, but if he did feel this he never said so, and Phoebe was very content to have him as a
kindly friend always interested in her affairs, and who did not seem to think it was her duty to get married out
of hand. She wished he was coming out tonight, but he was not, only Nancy and baby, and they would not be
the least interested in the important question whether it would be advisable to move her hives over into the
home paddock, just the other side of the orchard fence, for the winter. She was rather inclined to think it
would; they would get all or most of the sunlight, and by way of experiment she had lifted across a
doublestoried hive the night before. She did not suppose her father would object, if he did it would have to
be moved back again, but if he said nothing she would move another across this very night.
She had got thus far in her reflections, almost unheeding of the shouting and yelling in the home paddock. It
had gone on for over an hour, and she was just thinking she might fairly put in a word in the interest of the
pigs and the ponies, when the hunt swept up against the orchard fence.
"Go it, Jack, go it," shouted the beaters, waving their sacks, and Jack leaned over and with the longhandled
kitchen broom aimed a sweeping blow at the old black and white sow who was galloping ahead just under his
pony's nose. But the old black and white sow had been there too often, and knew what to expect. In a flash
she had hurriedly turned, and, with her forefeet on the very alighting board of the beehive, doubled under
the pony's belly, and in another moment would have been safe away down the paddock; but alas! for Jack, he,
too, thoroughly understood the sow's tactics; he gave a smart pull to the rope halter which served him for a
bridle, and if it had not been for that unlucky beehive, which was right in the way, the only person who would
have suffered would have been the sow. As it was the pony, too, got his forefeet on the alighting board,
gave a lurch, tried to recover himself, and the next moment over came the hive, and the pony, Jack, the old
sow, and innumerable bees, seemed to be mixed up in direst confusion. To Phoebe, working away quietly on
the other side of the fence, it seemed as if pandemonium had suddenly broken loose, for all the Marsden
family were howling in chorus, the old sow was squealing at the top of her voice as she careered away
unnoticed down the paddock, and above all was the angry buzzing of a multitude of bees.
"Phoebe! Phoebe! Phoebe!" shrieked the whole hunt in chorus, and Phoebe, in her thick veil and gloves,
scrambled over that fence in far less time than it takes to tell it. Jack was up on his legs now, running for dear
life, frantically waving his arms and yelping at the top of his voice, while the pony and the sow were away
down the paddock, each surrounded by a sort of halo of angry bees. But around Jack they were the worst. His
back and shoulders, his arms and chest, were covered with them, and he was tearing up and down, howling at
the top of his voice, mad with pain and terror.
"The horse trough, Jack," shouted Phoebe, rushing after him; "get into the horsetrough."
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He did not heed her, perhaps he never heard her, but Lydia did, and, being a young woman of common sense,
flew to the horsetrough, followed by Nellie, and they pumped with such vigour that by the time Phoebe had
caught up to her brother, the trough was full and overflowing with icy cold water from the well. She brushed
off all the bees she could, she tried to shield him with her dress, and then, catching hold of him,
halfdragged, halfcarried him to the trough, lifted him in, still howling at the top of his voice, and, because
the water did not cover him altogether, put his head under the spout and pumped with all her might. The other
two girls fled; they were afraid of stray bees, but they need not have been; in a minute there was not a bee to
be seen save the floating corpses of the drowned ones in the water. Then she lifted Jack out, dripping,
panting, and sobbing with pain, not a vestige left of the plucky hunter who was ready to dare anything two
minutes before. There were no bees now about him, only an angry hum came from the neighbourhood of the
hive, and the family drew near to offer their sympathy and advice.
"My golly!" said Frank, "he's all over stings."
He was indeed. He had only been clothed from the waist to the knee, so the bees had had a fair field, and they
had made the most of it. His back was one mass of stings, thought Phoebe, miserably, as, taking off her
gloves and veil, she began hastily to extract them. She knew what the pain of one was, what would this be
like?
"Here's the blue bag," said Nellie, offering the wellknown household remedy.
Jack groaned aloud.
"You'll have to send for the doctor, you'll just have to send. I'm sure I might die oooh," and he began
blubbering aloud in spite of his thirteen years.
"We'll put him in a warm bath. Go and get one ready, Lyd, there's a good girl. Don't cry, Jack; oh, don't cry.
I'll give you halfacrown if you don't cry."
But Jack was beyond monetary consolation, though he was impecunious, and his blubbering soon rose to a
howl again, and his sister, looking at the state of his back and chest, could hardly wonder.
"Crimini!" said Tom, "we are in for it now. The gov'll have to know. There's the old sow's back all lumps,
and she's bit Pet's leg, and he's as lame as a crow, and the bees have stung him till his eye's all bunged up. At
least," added Tom, "it will be by tonight, and so'll Jack's."
"Then for goodness sake," said Phoebe, "get the sow into the sty before he comes home, and perhaps he won't
notice, and if Pet's not very bad he can't be very bad, surely put him down in the forty acre and perhaps
he'll be better by Monday. Anyhow, Tom, do, like a good boy, tidy up things a bit, put away those sacks and
the broomsticks, and get in the pig and clear up the pigsty. It's no good to make things out worse than they
are."
"Well, you are a oner, Phoeb," said Tom, deceiving the old gov. "I don't know where you'll go to."
"Oh, I don't care," said Phoebe, wild with anxiety about Jack. "Do whatever you please. I'm sure to get into a
row anyway about the bees. You can explain it all to father if you like, just how it happened. That would be
the honestest way, if you dare do it, only after all one is enough to get into trouble."
"You won't tell on us, Phoebe," asked Tom, doubtfully.
"No, no, goodness me, no. Jack knocked over my beehive; that is all I'll tell. Is that bath ready, Lyd? Tom, I
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do believe you had better get on Kitty, and ride in and tell them Jack has been badly stung, and ask what we
had better do."
Tom whistled disdainfully.
"Don't you wish you may catch me," said he.
"Yes, but Tom, I really mean it. Jack is in a fever already," Jack howled a little louder, "and something must
be done."
"Catch me doing it."
"You have only got to say Jack's been badly stung all over the back and chest and head. Stand still, Jack,
there are only two more stings that I can see. I must get them, and ask them what we ought to do."
"Yes, and he'll want to know what he was doing without any clothes on. He'll think he was bathing in the
horsetrough, and you know he said we weren't to."
"Well, it's Jack, not you."
"Get out, as if that makes any difference. Somebody's got to be blackguarded, and it won't be Jack, because
he's hurt. It'll be me, you can bet."
"Well, Tom," said Phoebe in desperation, "you ought not to go pighunting, and you had better just take your
scolding like a man. I won't tell anything about it."
"If the gov. were only like other fellows' govs.," sighed Tom, but nevertheless he began rubbing Kitty down
with a wisp of straw, to hide as far as possible all traces of the violent exercise she had been constrained to
take that afternoon, and by and by Phoebe, applying hot fomentations to Jack's back, looked through the
bedroom window and saw a very reluctant young horseman set out through the front gate.
"Poor Tom," she thought, "there will be a row."
And there was.
CHAPTER XVII. "KIRKHAM'S FIND"
For a blow of his pick,
Sorter caved in the side,
And he looked and turned sick,
Then he trembled and cried,
For you see the derned cuss had struck "water?"
Beg your pardon, young man, there you lied!
It was gold, in the quartz,
And it ran all alike;
And I reckon five oughts
Was the worth of that strike.
BRET HARTE.
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"By the Lord, Harry! It must be gold!"
It seemed unlikely, certainly. All the anxious days he had spent seeking the precious metal, and never a sign
of gold, and now, after eighteen months of existence in this desolate hole, here under his very eyes, was
sticking up out of the ground what looked like a bar of cleanlymelted gold. He was twenty miles to the
southeast of his hut this morning, simply having ridden out in this direction the night before, because he had
nothing else to do, and he thought he might as well follow the trend of the range eastward, and see what the
country was like.
For eighteen months Kirkham had lived alongside his windmill, and never thought to explore. He had taken
Morrison's word for it that all the country was alike, just a shade removed from barren desert, and therefore
he had spared his horses and gone nowhere except across to see his cousin when he began to feel the
loneliness very much. There had been no rain, and he himself had given up all hope of going back to try his
luck at the deserted claim further north. Allan might, he would not. He was waiting now, banking his £1 a
week, till he should have enough capital to rent a very modest farm down in Victoria. But yesterday, for some
unknown reason, he had broken through his routine and come exploring.
And truly he had been compelled to acknowledge Allan was right; a more dreary, desolate country it would
be difficult to imagine. Behind him, it was true, there seemed to stretch for several miles a lovely lake dotted
with islands, grassy green with banks and high cliffs, covered with trees and bushes, all reflected faithfully in
the pellucid waters. There were little boats on it too, boats covered with white awnings, and others with white
sails, shimmering and quivering in the blazing sunlight. He could even see the water rippling round these
boats, though the rest of the lake lay calm and breathless, as if overpowered by the heat of the day. Such a
lovely lake, so cool, so refreshing. Involuntarily he thought how delightful a header would be in its tempting
waters. And then he laughed a little. He had just ridden right through it. He knew well enough that its joys
were visionary and delusive, only a taunting mirage. The lake was only a large flat claypan, which, when
there was any to catch, would catch the drainage from the surrounding country; the islands were rocks of
green stone, and the boats with their awnings and sails were just pieces of dazzling white quartz jutting up out
of the bed of the claypan. Where the trees and the water and the seductive look came from, Kirkham could
not tell, they were all part and parcel of the mirage, he supposed. Anyhow this country was bare enough. Just
this claypan, which would hold a little water after rain, and round it for all vegetation here and there patches
of salt bush and cotton bush, and where that did not grow sand, sometimes yellow, sometimes red, often
white. It was a desolate land.
Just now he had reined up his horse, because right across his path stretched an outcrop of quartz, which, just
in front of him at least, was twenty feet high, a little to the right it fell to about six feet, but though apparently
it was but a narrow band, it was certainly impassable for a horseman. To a man on foot it would be a
scramble. It was not connected, he thought, with the ranges; they receded still farther to the left, but at least
he would have to ride along it for a mile or so before he could get round to the other side. Was it worth the
trouble? The country beyond, ten to one, would be exactly the same; he was getting accustomed to these
outcrops of quartz now, and they were all alike. The sun was blazing hot, he would look for a little shade
under some jutting rock, take there his midday meal, and then go back. Morrison was right, the country was
the abomination of desolation. He rode slowly along and then pulled up his horse suddenly. What was that? A
nugget? Impossible! Impossible! He had given up thinking of gold. Could this loneliness be turning his
brain? Very quickly he dismounted, slung his horse's reins over his arm, and peered over his find. There it lay
in the blazing sunshine, no doubt whatever about it, a square piece of metal, like the top end of a bar of gold
sticking up out of the dust and debris that the winds had worn at the edge of the quartz outcrop. Mica? No,
certainly not mica. Was it possible was it possible? His heart began to beat wildly. Had he found what he
came to this desolate land for at last? Then he took out his knife and began to dig. Gold, certainly! most
certainly. The earth was very loose, it came out easily enough, a little bar of gold about three inches long by
an inch through, tapering a little at one end, but looking for all the world as if it had just come warm from the
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mould. Kirkham looked at it for a moment, then he flung up his hat into the air and shouted with all his
might. Then he desisted, it was eerie shouting there all alone, and the echo of his own joyous shout came
back to him weirdly. It made him feel uncanny. What good was this gold to him here alone in the wilderness?
He must have some one to share his good luck. He wanted human companionship now more than ever. There
must be more where that came from. Surely there must, and his fortune was made, and if that girl had only
waited one little year one little year, how short a while it seemed to look back upon, just twelve months,
and he was a rich man. Was he? He hoped he was, any how. And his first idea, after he had carefully stowed
his precious find in his breeches pocket, was to dig round where he had found it to see if there was any more;
his next was to go straight for Allan Morrison, not only to share his good fortune, but to get his advice as to
their further proceedings.
And to communicate with Allan Morrison was a long job for an impatient man. It was twenty miles to Lone
Hand, and twentyfive miles further on to Morrison's, and he had not too much horseflesh to waste. He took
his resolution at once. Hastily gathering together all the the loose stones within reach, he made a pile over the
place where he had taken out his nugget that must attract his attention when he returned, then, taking the
bearings of the spot, he mounted his horse and made straight for home, feeling with satisfaction the heavy bit
of gold that weighed down his breeches pocket. And it was the next night before he burst in on Morrison,
who was smoking a pipe and reading a bit of an old Argus by the light of a slush lamp.
"Allan, I've found gold!"
Kirkham had ridden the last mile at a gallop, so anxious was he to share his good luck, and now he stood
panting and breathless before his cousin.
"Ned, you old idiot! I "
But Kirkham saw the dawning incredulity on his face, drew the nugget out of his pocket and flung it down on
the box that served as a table, just in the rays of the slush lamp. Then he looked at his cousin anxiously. Was
this only the elfin gold old fables told about, that faded to dull earth when it was shown to any one by its
finder? Somehow now he could hardly believe in the reality of his own find. Then the look on Morrison's
face reassured him.
"By all that's holy," he cried, springing to his feet, "it is gold."
"I said so," said Kirkham, and sat down with a sigh of relief. And then he told the story of the find, entering
into the minutest details, and reiterating the same statements over and over again, in order that Morrison
might thoroughly understand exactly how matters stood.
There was no sleep for them that night. So much gold for so little exertion what possibilities might not lie
in the next week? It seemed too good to be true, and yet such things had happened in the story of the
goldfields of the eastern colonies. Men had risen up in the morning poor as church mice, and gone to be at
night almost millionaires. Why should not the same good luck happen to them? It might well, it might.
And they sat there discussing what might happen till the lamp went out and left them in darkness.
Not much preparation for bed is needed in the back blocks. Morrison tumbled on to his stretcher in one
corner, and his guest did likewise in the other; but they could not stop talking and speculating.
"I say, old man," said Morrison from his dark corner, "she ought to have waited, it would only have been a
year, and now she's safely tied up to the other chap."
Kirkham laughed a little bitterly; but the world was before him, and his bitter sorrow and disappointment lay
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a year behind.
"She did it herself," he said. "I'd have stuck to her through thick and thin. Well, there is Phoebe left, anyhow,
and you always said she was the best of the two. I wonder if she would look at me if I made myself very
sweet?"
"Go to sleep, man," said Morrison, sharply. "It's well on to morning now, and we'll find out as soon as
possible that the whole thing isn't only a castle in the air."
And Kirkham turned over and grinned privately at the wall. The change in Morrison's tone was so marked, he
couldn't help it. Old Allan, actually old Allan! He didn't like him talking as if he'd appropriate Phoebe. Was
there anything between them? No, certainly not. She wrote to Allan at least once a month; but there was
nothing loverlike in the letters; he had read them himself often, nice, kind, friendly letters, such as a kind,
good woman might write to a lonely man without compromising herself in any way. But Allan didn't like the
idea of his appropriating her, didn't he?
"Why, I say, old man," he said, turning over, "we may have made our fortunes, but it'll take us some time to
realise, and meanwhile some other chap may be poaching on your manor. Why, she may be married by this
time. You have been dinning into me her perfections at intervals for the last eighteen months. I'll bet some
other chap will have eyes to see as well as you, and he'll be handy."
"You be hanged," grunted his cousin; whereby Ned Kirkham concluded that the prospect was not a pleasing
one.
And two days later they were standing in the blazing sunshine over the little cairn Kirkham had made.
"Here it is, I tell you, right here," and he began pushing aside the stones.
"Man," said his cousin, "it's a buck reef, I tell you. No one in his senses ever expected to get gold out of a
buck reef."
"Well, I got that bit right here, and seeing's believing."
Morrison sat down on a stone, pushed his slouch hat back, and wiped his damp forehead on his shirt sleeve,
as he thoughtfully watched the hobbled horses as they cropped at the scanty herbage. The last water was
twenty miles behind, at Kirkham's hut, and all their small store was in their waterbags.
"I don't know what to say about it, I'm sure," he said. "As you say, seeing's believing, but there mayn't be any
more, I never heard of looking for gold in a buck reef before. And even if we found it, there's not a drop of
water within twenty miles."
Kirkham was scrambling up the outcrop to try and get a glimpse of the country beyond, and suddenly, instead
of answering his mate, he gave vent to a shout of triumph.
"Water, there's boggings of it."
But the older and more experienced man barely turned his head.
"I've been there before," he said, "and so've you if you only think a moment. Apparently there's boggings of
water in front of me, but for all that if I found gold I'd have to dry blow," and he began thoughtfully cutting
up some tobacco to fill his pipe.
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Kirkham, from his point of vantage, looked behind him, and when he saw the lovely lake lying there in the
blazing sunlight, his voice came back a little dubious and doubtful.
There was such a strong family resemblance between those two lakes, there was the same still, clear water,
the same islands, the same green trees and bushes, even the selfsame boats with their white sails and
awnings were there.
"The shape is different," he said, "quite different. This looks like a long, narrow lake. It might be water."
"It might just as likely be milk and honey."
"Well, I shall go over and look. The rocks this side are quite different sort of mossy, I think."
"Good Lord! where would they get the moss from?" said Morrison, and he rose up leisurely, for he was still
trying to puzzle out in his own mind the anomaly of a nugget in a buck reef. "The moss is all my eye like the
water."
Then he too climbed to the top of the outcrop, looked at the deceitful mirage, and watched his cousin pick his
way carefully down the other side. But he was hardly careful enough. Before he reached the bottom his foot
slipped, some of the crumbly rock broke off, and he and the crumbling fragments came down to the solid
earth together. He sat up rubbing himself ruefully.
"Are you hurt, old man," asked Morrison, anxiously. It wouldn't do to get hurt out here in the wilds.
"No, not much. The rock is just like so much rotten wood, you can scoop it out with your fingers. See here,"
and he rubbed his hand along the edge of the scar where he had fallen.
Then Allan, standing there on top of the outcrop, heard a change in his voice that brought him down to his
side more quickly than he could have thought possible.
"Old man, is this a mirage, too?"
"Good God, Ned, it's a mountain of gold!"
Morrison took out his knife and ran it under a cleft in the rock, and as the loosened stone fell to the ground
there showed behind it specks of virgin gold; he chipped off more pieces of the rock, and there throughout the
rotten yellow stone the gold showed freely. There was no mistaking it. A novice must have known it. The two
men sat down each on a rock and faced each other. Was it true? Was it could it possibly be true? There
must be at least a hundred pounds' of gold showing now; if the rest of the outcrop was like this . Kirkham
drew a long sigh.
"Our fortune's made, I think," said Morrison, in a low voice. And Kirkham, as he had done when first he
found the nugget, threw his hat up in the air, and jumped and shouted like a lunatic for very joy. The echo
brought his voice back to him, but it did not sound so weird and awful now his cousin was looking on smiling
approval.
"Come and see what the water is like," he suggested, when he began to find this form of exercise a trifle
violent under such a brazen sky. "Why, what are you covering it up for, old man?"
"You don't want any one else to find it, I suppose, before you get a chance to work it."
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"Any one else. Why, who's likely to come to this Godforsaken place?"
"You never can tell. It's not far off the track to Lone Hand from the head station. You found it, and some
one's been here before you."
"Impossible!"
"Look there."
It looked like a heap of dust and small white stones till Kirkham stepped up and examined it more closely.
"A man?" His voice sounded doubtful and horrorstruck. It had not happened to him to find a man dead of
hunger and thirst yet.
"Poor beggar! You can bet he found the reef. He must have been here a long while, judging by his bones.
Two or three years at least. What's that? An axe?"
Kirkham lifted it up. It was lying there among the bones, and a little lizard, just the colour of the soil, ran out
startled, rattling the bones faintly as it moved among them.
The axe was weather worn and rusty. Morrison took it and looked carefully at the wooden handle.
"He might have written his name here," he said.
But he hadn't. Deeply there was cut into the wood just one sentence.
"Soak, S. by E.," and then followed partially obliterated letters, which they made out to be "J.S."
"John Smith," translated Morrison.
"How do you know?"
"I don't know, but it may as well be that as anything else. I don't suppose any one'll ever know now. I wonder
if his girl down south waited long for him."
"Forgot all about him long before he turned up his toes," opined Kirkham, speaking out of the depth of his
own bitter experience. "Let's bury him."
"Let him lie. He's lain there quiet enough for the last three or four years, and if we don't want to join him we'd
better look for the soak he mentions. Don't be afraid, we will bury you, old boy," he said, touching the light
skull carelessly with his foot, "if it's only out of gratitude for recording the fact of there being such a thing as
water anywhere within cooey of this place."
"South by east," said Kirkham, thoughtfully.
"Right across your blessed lake. Here, old man, catch the horses and let's start. After all perhaps it's no good.
Why didn't he make for it himself if it was any good?"
"Perhaps he left it too long?"
"Perhaps. More likely it was dried up, or he was hurt, or had blight or something. It's a foolish thing to go
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prospecting by yourself. You never know what may happen. South by east that's very vague Lord
knows how many miles off that may be. We'll do ten, and if we don't come across it by then we'll have to turn
back."
"It's following the trend of the range."
"Well, it's as likely a place as not."
"It looks as if it hadn't seen water since the beginning of the world."
"What about your lake?"
Kirkham laughed a little.
They were riding right through where apparently it had been, and the dust which was half salt rose in clouds
from beneath their horses' feet. Here and there the white quartz jutted out, gleaming like the dead man's bones
and here and there was the green stone, but the water had vanished. Only now and again it seemed to be lying
clear and cool in the shadow that lay at the foot of the ridge. More than once Kirkham turned towards it, but
Morrison always stopped him with a laugh.
"Mirage, man, mirage. The country's one big fraud."
They had hardly ridden between three and four miles when the increasing desolation of the country made
Morrison think of turning back. If they took the horses much farther it would be a serious question how they
would get them back again.
"I think " he began, when his cousin interrupted him.
"It looks as if there might have been a watercourse down there at sometime or other, about the creation of
the world."
"By the powers that be our dead friend spoke the truth, and there is a soak!"
"Did you think "
"Well, the sentence on the axe might have referred to any place in Western Australia, but he meant this place
evidently, poor beggar."
The steep side of the hill was cleft by a rugged gorge, where water might have run down in remote ages, and
at the foot was a large patch of sand with just a suspicion of moisture about it; there were actually two or
three patches of thorny spinifex, and the clumps of salt bush had just a shade more green about them, and
looked more like ordinary vegetation and less like remnants of a prehistoric age.
"It's the soak, sure enough," said Morrison, dismounting and beginning with his spade to dig in the sand. He
threw out a few spadefuls, and then the water began to soak in, and they sat down and watched it until there
was enough to give a good drink to both man and beast.
"We can manage now," said Morrison, with a sigh, puffing away at his pipe. "It's a jolly good soak, and we'll
chuck the station just as soon as ever we can. Get two months' tucker and plant ourselves down here, and just
see how much gold we can take out before anybody gets to know of it."
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"Oughtn't we to take out a lease, or something or other like that?" asked Kirkham.
"Well, we ought; and there's the bounty a thousand pounds I think it is for finding gold. That's yours."
"Share and share alike," said Kirkham.
"I guess we'll keep the find to ourselves just as long as we can, and just prospect about the place. Folks'll be
coming along quick enough. It's astonishing how soon they get wind of a gold find. The very birds of the air
must carry it."
"There aren't any," said Kirkham, looking up into the hard blue sky overhead.
"The crows, my lad, the crows plenty of them round your place."
"Well, they're wicked enough for anything," said Kirkham; thinking of two certain dreary days he had spent
when the crows took a hand; but the subject was not pleasant and he went on quickly, "Allan, old man, I want
to get to work at once. What's the use of fooling away time here?"
"Fair and softly, man; we don't want a big goldfield here yet awhile. There's only enough water here for you
and me and the nags, and as there isn't any feed at all, we'll have to do without those same nags when we
come here for good. If we get to work two months hence, it'll be time enough. We must get clear away from
the station first."
"I want to make certain of it," said the younger man, restlessly.
"Well, so do I," said his cousin, springing to his feet. "Hang it all, man, suppose we set to work and see what
we can make before sundown. We can stow the gold away somewhere if we can't take it home with us."
Kirkham was just feeling that he could stand another moment's inaction no longer, with so much wealth
apparently within his grasp, therefore he acquiesced gladly, and after refilling their waterbags and giving
their horses another drink, they went back a good deal quicker than was good for those horses. But they had
been wellwatered and lay down contentedly enough in a patch of shade, whilst their human companions,
with one shovel they had brought along with them, proceeded to tear down the side of the outcrop.
It was soft, rotten stone that came away in great chunks in which here and there they could see small nuggets
dotted like currants in a plum pudding not so numerous perhaps, and yet thick enough to make them work
with eager haste to get down more of the outcrop. It was easy enough to do that, but the gold itself was not so
getatable, for though they could break up the rotten stone that was half earth easily enough, the gold itself
was imbedded in quartz hard as iron, on which neither spade, stirrupirons, nor knives made any impression.
But the gold was there there in plenty, mostly, imbedded in the hard brown quartz, but occasionally in tiny
minute particles that Morrison laid carefully in his neckerchief, and in little nuggets of fantastic shape varying
in size from a pennyweight or so to half an ounce or more, and twice they found small lumps that might have
been half valueless stone but appeared to them to be almost solid gold and to weigh one about three and the
other certainly five ounces.
They were grimed with red earth, it was in their beards and hair, it made their eyes smart and their mouths
gritty, the westering sun poured his beams right in their faces, and the sweat and the red earth mingled on
their foreheads, but what did they care? They had found gold. After long toil and long and weary waiting they
had found what they had come out to seek. Already after little more than two hours' work there must be near
a hundred pounds worth of the precious metal lying in the neckerchief; and what were a little dirt and a little
discomfort and a little weariness now?
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The plain, the sand, the hot sun, the rugged ridge, the mocking mirage, all, all were unchanged. Only the men
themselves were different. They looked in each other's faces triumphantly. They had succeeded. What did the
desolation of this land matter to them? Here at their feet lay the key that would open the door of freedom to
them, or make the desert blossom as the rose. Hurray, then, for the bright yellow gold! And the skeleton of
the dead man who had found it long before, and rejoiced perhaps as they were doing, lay unheeded and
unburied close beside them; and the sun sank lower and lower in the cloudless sky, and the only other living
thing there, the little lizard that had made his home among the old prospector's bones, crawled out and
surveyed them from the top of the whitened skull thoughtfully. They had forgotten all about him, and he was
not afraid. And then the sun went down below the edge of the plain, and the sudden darkness came upon
them. Morrison hastily lighted a match and peered among the last fragment of stuff he had broken up till the
dying match burnt his fingers, then he dropped it with a sigh of contentment. Already the bright stars were
coming out overhead, and he rose to his feet and stretched up his arms luxuriously.
"We're rich, Ned, old man, no manner of doubt about it. All that in so little time. What could we get with
proper appliances? Come on, old man, we'd best go back. The sooner we make all arrangements for the
working of 'Kirkham's Find' the better."
CHAPTER XVIII. THE BEES MUST GO
What is that which I should turn to, lighting upon days like these? TENNYSON.
Poor Phoebe! Her very worst fears were confirmed and more than confirmed. There was a row not a row
that died away and was forgotten in due course, but one that bore lasting fruit. Jack was very bad, indeed for
a couple of days he was in a high fever, the doctor had to be called in, and finally the fiat went forth that the
bees must go. The bees had the entire blame, and Phoebe was powerless to defend her property. Certainly all
inquiries had wrung a very garbled account of the accident from Tom and the younger boys; they were very
careful to leave out all account of the part the pigs and the ponies had played in the accident, and as for Jack,
when he was questioned, he became suddenly worse and could only shut his eyes and groan. Something had
to be scapegoat, and it was Phoebe's bees.
"I told you so I told you so," said her father, almost, grumbled Lydia, as if he were glad to have something
to be angry about "I told you so. I always said those bees would be a source of danger. But, as usual, no
one paid any attention to me. Now I suppose you'll allow I was right. Phoebe, those bees must go."
It was useless to protest, useless to declare that if they were let alone the bees were quite harmless. Jack was
tossing on his bed in a fever, and as for Phoebe's hopes and fears, her anxieties, and her hard work, they went
for nothing with her father. A daughter ought to be contented and happy in his way, she had no right to strike
out for herself. He did not say it in so many words, but he always acted as if those were his views.
The bees must go, and that at once.
"Don't you think he might change his mind tomorrow?" asked Phoebe, anxiously, of her mother. The bees
were her little all. How could she part with them? "He's never taken any notice of them before?"
But Mrs Marsden shook her head. She was very sorry for her daughter. She understood in a measure what the
bees were to her, and she was very sorry to see her hopes crushed just as it seemed to her she was about to
succeed, but it was no good buoying her up with false hopes.
"It's no good, Phoebe," she said; "I'm so sorry, dear, because I know what a lot you have given up to those
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bees, but it's not the least good in the world. Your father has never liked them, he has always been wanting to
get rid of them. Whenever there is a bee wanting to sting it always seems to find out your father, and he is
afraid to go into that corner of the orchard, and they are just where the jargonelle pears are he is so fond of."
"I'd get him the pears," said Phoebe, feebly.
"But he likes to get them for himself, you know, dear."
"Yes," put in Lydia, who was always Phoebe's companion, "he pretends he never eats any at all then. That's
what's the matter. Greedy old pig!"
"Hush, Lydia, hush that's not a nice way to talk of your father. He has the best right to all the pears."
"Of course he has," said Lydia, "nobody said he hadn't. What I object to is his going on as if he never had
anything at all, but gave up everything to his family."
"He does, you know, but "
"Poor Phoebe's bees?"
"I could move them down to the forty acre," suggested Phoebe. She was at her wit's end, and her trouble was
out of all proportion, because it seemed to her that if she might not keep bees there was nothing left in the
world for her to do. She had made this interest for herself with such hard work and industrious care, and now
it was to be taken from her with no more thought than her father would throw away a pair of old shoes. It was
cruel.
"It's no good, Phoebe, he won't have them, I know he won't. He doesn't like the bees about. And well I
daresay he doesn't like his daughter to go peddling honey to all the small shopkeepers. I daresay that has
something to do with it. He said something to that effect the other day."
Phoebe stamped her foot angrily on the ground, and Jack they were in the boy's bedroom groaned
heavily, because he feared in Phoebe's trouble his own pains were being overlooked. His mother bent over
him anxiously she knew nothing about the pigs and the ponies, and she hadn't discovered her damaged
brooms yet, therefore, she looked upon her poor little boy as a suffering martyr; and Phoebe marched out
of the room, put a shawl round her head, and went away down the orchard and leaning up against the fence,
rested her head on her arms began to sob bitterly.
It might be a little thing to the rest of them, but to her it was everything. The bees must go, and then there
would be nothing in the world to hope for; she would sink into a dreary, dull, stupid, penniless old maid, with
nothing to interest her or to look forward to, and all the family would scorn her. They wouldn't do it in so
many words, perhaps, but she knew very well they would in their hearts. Those very boys who had brought
on the catastrophe would grow into men with positions and some sort of place in the world, and would look
down in halfscornful pity on their poor old maiden sister, and never think they had helped to make her what
she was. But this mournful picture of her desolate future was too much for Phoebe; if she had cried before the
sobs that rose thick and fast threatened to choke her now. It was such a bright night, with the moon at full,
and just a suggestion of frost in the keen air, but Phoebe never thought of that, she was too much occupied
with the downfall of her hopes to notice anything.
So it happened that she never noticed the footsteps crossing the orchard towards her, and started up ashamed
when a kind hand was laid on her shoulder, and a voice said in her ear
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"Phoebe! My dear girl! Don't cry like that. What is the matter?" Phoebe raised her head hastily. No one but
her brotherinlaw would have spoken to her so gently. She did not relish being caught in tears, but perhaps
she minded him less than anybody else in the world.
"Joe! You! I thought you were in Ballarat."
"So I was. But I got done sooner than I expected, and it was very dull at home," he said, with a little sigh, that
did not escape his sisterinlaw, "so I thought I might as well come on here."
"Yes," said Phoebe, surreptitiously wiping her eyes and trying to swallow down another sob.
"I found the family in a ferment," he went on, settling his hands in his pockets and his back against the fence
so that the moonlight fell full upon his kind, honest, if somewhat hard face, and the same moon rather
unkindly showed up the thin hair on the top of his head. Not that Phoebe was looking she had turned her
back on the moon and was trying to restore her face to something of its normal condition but even if she
had noticed, she belonged to the order of woman who never sees anything amiss with the folks she cares for,
and she did like her brotherinlaw very much. There was no one she would rather have seen at this
contingency, and it was always a mystery to her that his plain face and thin hair was such a trouble to his
wife. She supposed women felt different towards their husbands.
"There was a row," sighed Phoebe.
"And you are the scapegoat."
"The bees are, anyway. Father says they have got to go. Mother says he has been wanting them gone for a
long time. He he She says he doesn't like me peddling honey to the small shopkeepers, and I I
know, of course, the boys don't like it. They don't think their sister "
"What rot!" interrupted Mr Sampson. "The airs those youths give themselves! They ought to be well
spanked."
"Stanley," began Phoebe, feebly. She felt impelled to take her brothers' part, but still it was infinitely
comforting to listen to some one who actually seemed to think she had right on her side and was being
illused. Her mother, though she was unfeignedly sorry for her, was quite certain in her own mind that an
unmarried woman had no rights, and should put up with anything pleasantly, while here was Josiah Sampson
she could have put her arms round his neck and given him a good hug, still she faintly brought up Stanley,
because by his opinion the rest of the household was guided, and she knew he strongly resented any sister of
his selling honey by the pound. But her new champion soon disposed of Stanley.
"Stanley? When that young gentleman's a little older let's hope he'll be a little wiser. Meanwhile, he isn't
through his course yet, and I'm surprised your father and mother don't treat his opinions for what they are
worth. He wants a good dressing down, does that young man. Never mind what he says. Any man with a little
ordinary common sense would think you were a brave girl, and ought to be encouraged."
"Thank you," said Phoebe, putting her hand on his arm gratefully. "You don't think I'm outside the pale, then,
and that every man thinks me a strongminded female too awful to to "
"My dear," said her brotherinlaw, looking up at the moon with unwinking eyes, "I'm not going to tell you
how attractive I think you, and how attractive many another man would think you if he only got the chance to
know you as I do. Don't let your people dose you with such oldfashioned notions. Don't believe them if they
do. No man worth calling a man will look down on a woman because, instead of drifting along with folded
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hands, she sets out against many odds to make a place for herself in the world. A man never thinks what a
woman does so long as she's pleasant and entertaining and "
"Mostly, I think," said Phoebe, with a faint laugh, "she's got to be goodlooking."
"Oh, has she," he said, dryly. Then he turned her face round so that the moonlight fell full upon it, and
showed up her swollen eyes and tearstained cheeks. "Well, you have been doing your best to spoil your
good looks, young woman, but, as a rule, I should say if that's all that's needed you're all right."
Phoebe pushed his hands away and wiped her eyes again.
"Thank you," she said. "I can just fancy I hear Stanley's comments on your remarks."
"What would he say?"
"That your admiration didn't amount to much. You never looked at me while Nancy was by."
For one moment it occurred to Mr Sampson to say that if only the chance were to come again he wouldn't
make such a blasted idiot of himself, but luckily reflection and loyalty prevailed, and he laughed a little and
answered
"Well, the next man will think I was an idiot for my pains. But your people are foolish. They just set up one
standard of beauty, and if you don't happen to conform to it you're utterly damned. Nancy is a sweet, pretty
little lovable thing, with a knowledge of her own beauty that gives her confidence and adds to her charm. You
are cast in quite a different mould. Whatever do your people want you to be like Nancy for? You'll be a
grand, strong woman, Phoebe, when poor little Nancy Don't envy Nancy."
"I don't; indeed, such a thing never entered my head. Oh! but you'll be good to her, won't you, Joe? You are
so good. I wouldn't like Nan not to be quite happy."
"Is she quite happy, do you think?" he asked, wearily, as a man who does not want an answer. "Sometimes
I'm afraid, Phoebe, she isn't very happy, and yet, God knows, I've done all I can for her. What else can I do?
Phoebe, what can I do?"
"Joe, you are goodness itself to her. No one could be a better husband than you are."
"And yet I don't make her happy," he said sadly. "I see it all now," he went on "now it's too late. She never
cared about me, Phoebe. I don't believe she liked me half as well as you did. I'm sure she didn't understand
me as well. She married me, poor little girl, because I wanted her to, and because because well,
because, according to the creed of your family, every woman has to get married. Poor little girl!"
He spoke very sadly, not looking at, hardly seeming to notice his companion, and as for Phoebe, for a
moment she forgot her own troubles in contemplating his. So he knew, he understood all about it, and had
evidently understood for a long time. If she had only been a tactful, clever woman, she thought, she would
know what to say in this contingency, might perhaps be able to straighten out this tangled skein. But as it was
she was so sensible of the truth of what he said, she could only stare stupidly at him in the moonlight,
wondering to herself what next, what next?
"Phoebe" he turned to her so suddenly she started and blushed crimson "whatever you do, don't make
marriage a way out of your difficulties. For God's sake don't get married unless you're fond of the man. He
won't ask you unless he's fond of you. And then well, think of the cruel disappointment alone."
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"It's a way out that hasn't presented itself," said Phoebe, thankful to find the conversation one more in fairly
safe waters, "and I don't suppose it is likely to. But, you know, lots of men, I've heard, don't care for a woman
who shows she is too fond of them. I haven't had any experience myself, as you know."
"It's a fallacy. A wrong argument altogether. There isn't a man in this world who wouldn't be thankful I
can find no words to say how thankful to know he had the heart of the woman he loved. He wouldn't be
worth calling a man if he wouldn't. I understand what they mean. Probably he wouldn't like a woman to
smother him with kisses in public, or to make him ridiculous in any way. But to tell me a man doesn't value a
good woman's love; my dear girl, they're foolish who tell you to the contrary."
"Once," murmured Phoebe, who, interesting as she found the discussion, couldn't help thinking they had
strayed a long way from the bees, "I heard a man say the pleasure was in the hunting."
"He ought to have been licked," said her brotherinlaw promptly, "and I sincerely hope he'll get a wife
who'll take it out of him."
"He's got a wife."
"Probably that accounts for it, then. She didn't come up to expectations. Poor beggar! Married him because
she wanted to marry some one, I suppose. Never gave a thought to his feelings in the matter, or that he
couldn't be expected to keep up the high pressure of courtship all his life. Look here, Phoebe, married folks
ought to be chums. There should be no question between them of which loves the most. If they are necessary
to each other that's all that's needed. Don't get married, Phoebe, unless you marry your best friend."
"I'm not likely to marry at all, as you know very well. I'm sure your ideas are best. I'm glad to hear that's a
man's opinion. But I don't see how one's to help these unlucky sort of marriages. There's always a risk."
"Of course there is always a risk. But it needn't be quite such a big one. If the woman was only sure she was
fond of the man, and he was sure he was fond of her, surely then they would bear and forbear, and make
allowances for each other, and would get along splendidly."
"Yes, of course, one would think that would be the way. But my people always laugh at me when I say such
things, and say I don't know anything about it, which is true enough. And then a woman is better married."
"So is a man. But they will neither of them take any harm by waiting a little till they are sure they have met
the right person."
"And what is to become of the woman if she don't marry?" asked Phoebe, putting the question that was filling
all her thoughts just now.
"Oh ah marriage isn't the end of everything. She can do without, I suppose?"
"She can't," said Phoebe, boldly. "In the majority of cases she can't. She has neither position, nor place, nor
money, nor anything else unless she marries; and even if she marries a poor man she is mistress of his house,
and not under authority as she otherwise would be. Oh, I think if marriage offered the same temptations to a
man as it does to a woman they would marry in just the same way."
"You haven't."
"Nobody asked me. The temptation was never brought very strongly before me; but I don't know what on
earth is to become of me. How would a man feel if he was close on twentysix and had no prospects
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whatever?"
"He would be an ass if he hadn't some project for the future; but, of course, a woman is different."
"There you are," said Phoebe, and she stamped her foot, "just as bad as the rest. A woman must sit down and
look cheerfully forward to a dreary, objectless, penniless life, I suppose. I can't do it. But what am I to do? I
thought the bees "
"Still those unlucky bees," said a laughing voice, and Nancy, wrapped in a furlined coat with a dainty pink
arrangement on her head, emerged out of the shadow. "I guessed I should find you two out here. I suppose
you have neither of you noticed that though the moonlight is very lovely, the grass is very wet and the air is
very keen."
"Your thin shoes," began her husband. "I hope "
"Yes," she said, sharply. "I have got goloshes on, of course. You must think I'm a fool, Joe. What have you
been talking about all this time? Bees, I suppose."
"And love, and marriage, and the position of women, and all sorts of things."
Nancy laughed.
"I might have known you would. You always do that, Phoebe, and yet you never get any forrarder. And what
did you finally decide?"
"We didn't come to any conclusion," said Mr Sampson, a little sadly.
"Of course not," said his wife, triumphantly. "Phoebe never does. She is always trying to reform the world,
but she never gets there."
"Circumstances are too strong for me."
"Have you decided about the bees? Father wanted to pour hot water on the lot and finish them off tonight, but
I just took your part, Phoebe, represented they were worth a considerable amount of money, and you might as
well have it. You can speak out a lot more when you're married. It's a great advantage. Well, I've decided
now what you are to do, Phoebe. It will be dreadfully dull living at home without any interest, and you are
not really wanted now Nell and Lyd are growing up so fast, so you can just sell off the bees next week and
come and live with us. It will be delightful for me to have you, won't it, Joe? I'll never be dull then. There,
that's settled."
Phoebe looked down at her pretty sister standing there before her, the bright moonlight showed up her dainty,
delicate beauty, her face lighted up with the certainty that she had settled a knotty point to the advantage of
all parties.
"You shall never be hard up for money again, Phoebe; shall she, Joe? And then when you get married "
Phoebe glanced at her brotherinlaw and saw a look on his face that told her plainly he too would welcome
her. Indeed she herself could not fail to know how excellently they got on together. Then she ruthlessly
interrupted her sister.
"I couldn't possibly do such a thing, Nancy, I couldn't. I wouldn't for worlds."
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Nancy's face fell, and her lip began to quiver.
"But you seemed to think it was only the bees kept you at home. You laid often as soon as you had money
enough you were going to start a little place of your own. It's not father and mother you mind leaving."
"But I couldn't live with you; I couldn't possibly, could I, Joe?"
"Couldn't she, Joe?"
"I should be very glad to have her," he answered, cautiously.
"You are both of you very good," said Phoebe, "but I want to be independent. I can't be dependent on
anybody. I thought in a couple of years I would have enough to start a little beefarm of my own, but now
father "
"How much would you want?" asked Mr Sampson, practically.
"I was thinking," said Phoebe, "that as soon as I had saved up £ 50 I might begin. Of course, I have always
known there would come a time when father wouldn't stand any more, but I didn't think it would come so
soon."
"£50 is very little," said the business man, thoughtfully.
"It would do to begin with," said Phoebe, sadly, because now £ 50 seemed as far away to her as heaven itself,
and quite as unattainable. "One woman could live on so little. A little cottage in the country with an acre, or
even half an acre of land round it, I could get it for five shillings a week, surely. Two rooms, or one even
would do me. My keep would cost a very little. I believe I could do it for another five shillings."
"Phoebe, you must be mad!" said her sister, but Phoebe paid no attention.
"Then, of course, I would have to buy a little furniture, but I wouldn't want much. A table, and a chair, and a
little crockery, and a fryingpan would do me until I could afford something better."
"Phoebe!"
"Then, of course, there would be the moving there and getting the place, that would cost something, and then
I would have to have a little for carrying on the business, for jars, and packing, and carriage, and for clothes,
but they wouldn't cost much. Yes, it would take quite £50, because it wouldn't do to run the risk of being left
penniless."
"But you couldn't possibly live all alone!"
"Why not, Nan? By and by if I got on I could take Lydia into partnership, and I might afford a little servant.
A girl wouldn't cost much in the country. But what is the good of talking?" and Phoebe turned away, and
could have put her head down on her arms and sobbed again.
"Were you thinking of settling about here?" asked her brotherinlaw, thoughtfully.
"I'd like to, of course, to be near them all, but it is so cold in the winter for bees here. They hardly do any
work when there is so much wet weather. No, I thought but what is the good of talking now? I might just
as well want the moon," and the tears came into her eyes and blurred out the moon's round face.
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"But tell me your ideas. I might hit on some way of helping you."
"It's all nonsense," said Nancy. "Fancy preferring a tworoomed cottage and starvation on five shillings a
week to the comfortable home I would give you. Well, you would come to me before three months were out,
anyhow."
"I'm not so sure of that, Nan," said her husband, kindly, and her sister looked at him gratefully. Here was a
man who understood her. "Go on, Phoebe."
"You know last spring, when Nan and I went down to Warrnambool. That struck me as being just the place.
Not near so cold as here, and everything was very cheap. I saw a cottage one day that would just have suited
me. You remember, Nan, I pointed it out to you the day we went to Nirranda."
"That hole! Oh, Phoebe, what nonsense you do talk! Just a common labouring man's cottage!"
"It would just have suited me," sighed Phoeb. "I would have made it very different looking if I had got on at
all."
"It's silly to talk like that," said Nancy, impatiently. She wanted her sister to see the advantage of living with
her, and here she was regretting a wretched little cottage she had once seen miles away down in the Western
District.
"Are you sure now, Phoebe," asked her brotherinlaw, gravely, "that that is what you do want? You
wouldn't change your mind and be lonely and miserable and unhappy if you had it? Women," he added,
speaking out of his own experience, "are so apt to think a thing would be 'just lovely' till they've got it, and
then they find out it isn't what they wanted at all."
"Oh, but, Joe," said Phoebe, eagerly, "surely you know me better than that. I'm not a bit like that. Of course,
every one's apt to make mistakes, but I generally know what I want, and appreciate it when I get it. I'm sure
you know that. I always wanted something to do in life, and the bees gave it to me, and and I've just been
a different woman since, and now just when I was beginning to hope I was getting on a little "
"Suppose we take that cottage, Phoebe, and I'll lend you the £ 50 to set up in business."
"Joe!" cried his wife and sisterinlaw in a breath, and then Phoebe added, "Oh, but I couldn't take it. How
could I?"
"We'll make it a business matter," said Mr Sampson, kindly. "You shall pay me interest if you like, and then
you won't feel it a burden."
"Oh! but Joe, Joe, it's too good to be true;" Phoebe's hopefulness was reasserting itself. She felt she would
only be too thankful if she could be persuaded to take the kind offer. "Suppose I failed. I believe I could
manage. I might be over sanguine, all sorts of things might happen that I have never thought of, and then
where would I be? I could never hope to pay off so much money."
"I take such risks every day," said Mr Sampson, smiling as he saw that his offer would be gratefully accepted
in spite of protestations, "with men I don't know much about, why shouldn't I trust a woman I've learned to
believe in?"
"I wonder at you encouraging her in such mad notions," said his wife, petulantly.
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"The bees have done a lot for Phoebe, so I hear my sister say," said Mr Sampson, paying for once no
attention to his wife; "and I heard your mother say exactly the same thing this evening, though I don't think
she approved of them very much. She seemed to think Phoebe might give her time up to something better."
"I know," said Phoebe, "none of them will understand, not even Nancy here," and she put her arm round her
sister, "that it isn't the bees exactly, it is having something to do that promises that I don't know exactly
how to put it that promises to earn me a living and give me a home of my own all by my own exertions.
You don't know how delightful the feeling that you are getting on is. Oh Joe! would it be wrong of me to take
that £50? It would mean so much to me."
"My dear girl, I'm delighted to help you."
"I'd have to start at once," said Phoebe, with the natural hesitation of a woman going into the world alone. But
there was nothing else for it; unless she went, she felt the future would be a dreary blank. If only her father
and mother would let her go cheerfully and take a goodhumoured interest in all her arrangements. That was
more than she could hope for, however.
"Father will give it to you properly," remarked Nancy, a little viciously. "He'll never let you go."
"If Joe will lend me £50 I'll go whether he lets me or not," said Phoebe, determinedly. "He has never in all his
life told me he approves of me or of anything I do, and he has very often let me know he doesn't, so I may
just as well please myself. I can but fail, and I feel as if I had been a failure always. Shall I go in and tell him
now?"
Phoebe hardly felt as brave as her words implied. She had feared her father's cruel tongue all her life, and she
dreaded it as much as ever still. But this thing must be done, and the sooner she broke it to her people the
better; besides, she was angry at her father's injustice, and she would have her brotherinlaw to back her up.
"The sooner the better," said Mr Sampson, quietly.
"I'm nearly frozen," said Nancy, crossly. "Oh, my goodness! Phoebe, you are in for it. Change your mind and
come and live with us."
"I can't, Nan, indeed I can't. Come along in quickly, like a good girl. I'm sorry we kept you out so long."
CHAPTER XIX. A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT
Now if we could win to the Eden Tree where the four great rivers flow,
And the wreath of Eve is red on the turf as she left it long ago,
And if we could come when the sentry slept, and softly scurry through,
By the favour of God we might know as much as our father Adam knew.
RUDYARD KIPLING.
Looking back now, Phoebe can never quite understand how it was she mustered sufficient courage to start out
in life on her own account. It was not exactly the going, it was the marching in that cold autumn evening and
announcing to her father that she intended to leave his roof for good and all. That was the step that cost so
much. He sat there over the fire in the schoolroom with his back to the rest of the room, and as she came in,
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followed by her sister and her husband, she took her courage in both hands and addressed that disapproving
back; in fact, if it had not belonged to a gentleman of mature years and the father of a family, one might have
called it a sulky back.
"Father," she said, and her own voice sounded strange in her ears, and she said afterwards if Nancy and Mr
Sampson had not been there she would have given up there and then "father, I hear you want to get rid of
the bees."
No answer. As far as the onlookers could judge the remark had fallen on deaf ears.
"Father," said Phoebe again, a little imperiously. She felt she was being badly treated, and she knew that Mr
Sampson at least was sympathising with her thoroughly, and now that she was getting warmed to her work
she did not mind much what she said. She had stood this tyranny long enough. "Father, do you hear me?"
"You know," he said, without turning his head, "I never approved of the bees. But, of course, no one ever
takes any notice of what I wish."
"I beg your pardon," said Phoebe, thoroughly angry, and repressing a feminine longing to catch her parent by
those very sulky shoulders and give him a good shaking, "I take a great deal of notice. I have come in to tell
you that if you will let the bees stay here another week I will take them right away."
Her father relapsed into a stony silence, and for all sign he gave might not have heard a word she said, but
Phoebe knew him better. By and by he would say he knew nothing of her movements; he had never been
consulted; as if it were easy to consult a man like that; but at any rate, said Phoebe to herself, he shall not say
he has not been told. Therefore, as briefly as possible, because it is not easy to confide your plans to a man's
back, Phoebe launched out and told her father just exactly what she intended to do, adding, what had not
occurred to her before, that she was going to Warrnambool by the very next steamer, would choose her new
home, and then come back for the bees. She grew angrier as she went on, and by the time she had finished her
little speech was feeling that anything anything that took her out of the power of this father of hers she
would welcome thankfully, no matter how hard the work or how lowly the position. Just as she was finished,
Mr Marsden, who had never given the least sign that he had heard her, pushed back his chair and rising up
slowly left the room; and Phoebe, flushed and hot from the unwonted excitement, faced round to the other
two.
"There now, I've done it," she said. "He is a brute, he is, and now he will go on to mother that nobody pays
the least attention to him, nobody cares about him in the least. As if it were possible."
"Well, you have done it, anyhow," said Nancy, settling down into the comfortable old armchair her father had
vacated; "you won't be able to come back here any more, that's very certain. You'll have to come to us when
you fail."
"I'm not going to fail," said Phoebe, drawing herself up. "If you will lend me the money, Joe, I will just start
tomorrow."
"Very well," said Mr Sampson, simply. "Pack your bag tonight and you can drive in with me tomorrow
morning."
So it was done, and Phoebe, still hot and angry, packed her bag, and went and found her mother and told her
her plans.
As might have been expected, Mrs Marsden protested. Unfortunately all the arguments she could bring to
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bear against Phoebe's scheme were only those that made her doubly determined to carry it through. Mrs
Marsden opined that it was very improper of a girl to think of living alone, and Phoebe at once began to feel
she had had enough of the proprieties, and would be glad and thankful to get away from them. Mrs Marsden
was certain if she did such a thing no one would ever marry her, and Phoebe began to feel that she must get
away from people, even her nearest and dearest, who were for ever expecting her to get married, and being
disappointed that she did not. Mrs Marsden was sure all her brothers would be shocked, and Phoebe felt that
their opinion was less than nothing to her; she must just prove that she was of some use in the world, and if
she only had money of her own and was well dressed, she was very sure her brothers would change their
opinion. The argument that her father would be vexed counted for less than nothing, at that moment Phoebe
wished for nothing more than to be beyond her father's reach for the rest of her life. Her mother was sure he
was very fond of her, but the memory of the scene in the schoolroom was still so fresh in her mind that she
angrily felt the sooner she was beyond his reach and thoroughly independent the better. And finally Mrs
Marsden, seeing all her talking was having not the least effect, and being, poor woman, sorely troubled in her
mind as to what was to become of this obstinate girl who was so very unlike her ideal woman, burst into
helpless tears and reproached her daughter with want of love for her who had always done the best she could
for her.
"I know your father is unkind at times," sobbed Mrs Marsden, "but you ought to know by this time it is only
his way. He doesn't mean it. He thinks nobody cares for him. If you were ill or in trouble see how good he
would be."
"But I'm not ill," said Phoebe, naturally enough, "and I'm not in much trouble except that I want to do
something useful with my life for myself. Why can't he be pleasant and kind over that instead of waiting till
I'm in trouble?"
"Naturally," said Mrs Marsden, "he thinks you are very selfish, always wanting to do something for yourself.
Why can't you be content to be like other girls?"
"Considering he is always rubbing it into us what a frightful drag we all are upon him, I can't think," said
Phoebe, a little contemptuously, "he ought to complain if I do want to do something for myself and relieve
him of the burden of my keep."
"If you were only like other girls," said her mother with another great sob, "you would get married, and
and there'd be no question of of "
But Phoebe turned away angrily, and her last qualm of conscience was swept away. The sooner she was
settled in her life on her own account the better.
And the next morning she started. Her father had had his breakfast and gone off to a sale out Creswick way,
very early in the morning, so she was spared the difficulty of saying goodbye to him, and had only to face
her mother's tears. But Josiah Sampson backed her up manfully, and the younger girls were both interested
and excited at such an unwonted departure on their eldest sister's part. The idea of her going out into the
world alone did not shock them as it did their mother. The ten years that stretched between her and Lydia
made her seem old enough to do anything she liked in the eyes of the younger girls.
And when she bid her mother goodbye, Phoebe had qualms again. She was leaving her to such a hard life.
"I'm so sorry, mother," she said. "It does seem such a shame to leave you with so much work to do, but really
in the end I believe it will be better. When I'm independent you won't have me on your mind in addition to
your other cares."
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"Oh, Phoebe," sobbed Mrs Marsden, "if I could only get you to look at things in a proper light. Your conduct
is undutiful, as your father says."
"I don't think it is," said Phoebe, kissing her mother again regretfully, and climbing up into the buggy beside
Mr Sampson Nancy was going to stay a day or two longer with her mother "I don't think it is. Nobody
thinks it is undutiful of Stanley to go to the University and get plucked for every second exam he goes for,
instead of stopping at home and ploughing, and chopping wood, and feeding the pigs. Why should it be
undutiful of me, who am older than he is, to try and set up for myself, instead of doing one eternal round of
housework?"
"Girls are different from boys," repeated Mrs Marsden for about the twentieth time this morning, and Josiah
cut short further reproaches by driving off, and Phoebe thought sorrowfully of the mother she was leaving for
good and all all the way into Ballarat. But there was no turning back now.
She went by train to Melbourne second class, because she had to economise in everything, and thence on
board the Julia Percy, which would land her at Warrnambool early next morning. Last time she had gone by
train, but then she had been with Nancy, to whom expense was no object; now she must consider every
penny, and it would not do to consider the unpleasantness of being seasick.
All her compunctions came back with renewed force that dreary night at sea, the waves as they washed
against the vessel's side, the wind as it howled through the rigging, all seemed to her to bear the same refrain.
She was selfish, she was unkind, she was leaving her poor mother to bear her heavy burdens unaided, and
that she should feel desperately lonely was only her due.
But when next morning she came on deck and found the little steamer was just coming to anchor against the
new breakwater, and the bright sun was shining cheerily on the blue water, and showing up the spires and
towers and the houses of the pretty little town of Warrnambool nestling among its low green hills, a new
feeling of delightful hope and buoyancy came over her. The very day was a good omen. If she had felt
depressed the night before, it was only natural, she was not accustomed to act on her own responsibility, or to
be by herself; she must learn not to mind these fits of despondency, she must look always to the goal ahead
and be very sure, as she was at this present moment, that in helping herself she was indirectly helping her
mother far better than she could do by staying at home. Oh, but the morning was bright and sunny, it was a
pleasure to be alive, and she stepped ashore and made arrangements with a cabman to leave her small bag at
the Coffee Palace, and inquired of him the most likely place to hear of a small cottage in the country to let,
the rent to be not more than five shillings a week. Cabby thought Mr Smith, of Hayes and Son, Kepler Street,
would be the most likely, and so Phoebe set off to walk the mile and a half that separates the breakwater from
the town. All along the path she went by swampy Lake Pertobe, and the frogs and the crickets, hidden in the
tall green flowering rushes that grow up in the brackish water, croaked and called loudly and cheerfully to her
that she was starting out on the right road; the seagulls, wheeling round overhead, with snowwhite breasts,
called the same thing in their plaintive language; the flocks of brown backed plovers harshly echoed it, and
the wild duck and teal, and black swan out in the middle of the still, calm lake, tame because safe from the
destroying hand of man, seemed to promise her, too, peace and happiness; while the bold blue waterhens,
with their bright red legs and little white tails went further, and impressed on her with every movement of
those same tails that she was to go in and win, and never mind what anybody thought of her. On every blade
of the green grass there was a dewdrop, and every dewdrop sparkled like a diamond in the bright sunlight,
and the salt breath of the sea just fanned her cheek, and played gently with the coils of her dark hair. Truly a
lovely morning, a Godgiven morning to encourage and cheer her.
But Mr Smith, of Hayes and Son, though he knew of many small cottages to let, did not seem to have one
that exactly answered her requirements, and did not know of that small cottage exactly opposite Benger's Flat
State School, which had been to let last spring, and which exactly answered her requirements.
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For a bee farm? Well, he had dabbled a bit in bees himself, when he wasn't quite so busy; he believed there
was money in them, and he quite thought a cottage out Mepunga way, which was where Benger's Flat was,
would suit admirably.
"You see, you get the heath in bloom on the sand hills in the winter time," he said, "and heather honey is
always good; then there is a certain amount of pasture land, old Mapleson owned a lot of land there and laid it
down in clover clover honey is good; and about Benger's Flat there are a good many cottages with fruit
trees surrounding them; no, for bees I really don't think you could have a better locality. Unfortunately, I
don't do business for the Benger's Flat people, most of them go to Mr Wilson, over the way. I daresay he
could oblige you, I'll put on my hat and take you over."
And he did. And Phoebe found the cottage she wanted was still unlet, and agreed to go out and look at it that
very morning, and was shaken hands with and wished all success by Mr Smith, of whom she ever after spoke
with the warmest gratitude as having been so encouraging and kind; and it certainly never occurred to her that
her dark eyes were bright and eager, that her teeth were marvellously regular and white, and that the brisk
walk and the excitement had brought a bright colour into her cheeks; that her close fitting tweed dress, if it
was very plain, set off her figure to advantage, and that Mr Smith thought this young woman, who was so
keen about a beefarm, was a very charming young person indeed, such as did not often break the monotony
of the morning for hardworking land and estate agents in small seaport towns.
And Phoebe hired a buggy and went out and looked at the cottage at Benger's Flat, and felt her ardour a little
damped after she had done so. It was exactly opposite State School No. 002; in fact it belonged to the head
teacher, which Phoebe thought was a good thing. When she came to think of the long nights she would have
to spend by herself, she felt glad to think her landlord, a schoolmaster and a house owner, should be only
across the road. For she decided to take it, she had not hesitated a moment, the country round was just the sort
of country she wanted, and the rent was 4s 9d a week. It was certainly very dilapidated and out of repair, and
to start with was only a weatherboard cottage, built in the usual style of Australian ugliness, with four rooms
opening into one another two of decent size, but the two behind merely skillions with windows
reaching to the top of the wall, and being met by the ugly corrugated iron roof which projected hardly an inch
beyond the wall, and gave the place an idiotic look, as of a face that had no forehead, but no eyebrows either.
It was ugly, but it would do, for not only was it very cheap, but there was an acre of land, fenced with a post
and rail fence, that went along with it. Yes, it was the very place, and Phoebe went back to Wilson and
Knight and took the house for six months, there and then.
Then she went and had some dinner at the Coffee Palace, and considered what should be her next move.
She would go back by the Julia Percy, next day, and well she must not stop a day longer than was
absolutely necessary at home. As she was defying her father she felt uncomfortable in his presence, she felt
she was not doing quite right in making use of his house. No, she would come down here next week, just as
soon as ever she could get her small belongings packed. Then she took out her purse and counted her money,
noting with dismay how very rapidly the £10 Josiah Sampson had advanced her was diminishing. Only
yesterday she had got it, and already she had spent £3, and her heart sank with dismay. If she spent £3 in one
day, how on earth was she going to set up in business on £50 and twenty beehives?
Then she was a little comforted by the reflection that the greater part of her expenses had been in travelling.
Once settled, she would not need to spend money that way. She must just make up her mind to the monotony
of one place and no friends. Beggars and borrowers cannot be choosers.
Then she began to put down on a card how much, or rather how little, she would want to furnish the house,
and thinking over its dilapidated condition a bucket and scrubbing brush came very first on the list. Other
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things followed, just the absolute necessaries of life a stretcher bedstead, a table and two chairs, a couple
of cups and saucers and a teapot. How the things mounted up to be sure. Five pounds she decided she would
lay out on furniture. Her house would certainly be furnished in the barest, humblest style for that, but she
could not afford more, and she put on her hat again and went out to interview the storekeeper at the next
corner. He was evidently accustomed to furnishing on this scale, and soon Phoebe found herself the possessor
of a stretcher with bedding to match, a couple of kitchen chairs, a very good secondhand kitchen table, and
the minor trifles that no woman, however lowly her position in life, can do without. Naturally there was not a
penny for curtains or carpet, not a drawer or cupboard of any description did it allow of, but at least Phoebe
found herself possessed of the absolute necessaries at a less cost than she had expected. She must do without
the other things. If she succeeded, well and good, it would be time enough to buy them then, and if she failed
but she did not like to think of possible failure, and she turned to the storekeeper and asked him how she
could get these stores out to Benger's Flat next week along with herself, her beehives and all the rest of her
belongings.
That was soon settled. For the sum of ten shillings down he ran a cash store he himself would take her,
and Phoebe left his shop feeling that she had done all she could and was really starting in life on her own
account.
CHAPTER XX. BEGINNING LIFE
Employment is nature's physician and is essential to human happiness. GALEN.
It was hard work to face them at home again, without Mr Sampson to back her. Her mother persisted in
treating her as a forgiven sinner, and her father simply ignored her presence. Phoebe could not make up her
mind which she disliked most. On the whole she was glad that she had fixed the date of her departure so close
that all her time was filled up with mending her clothes and packing up her small possessions.
They were so few, so very few. She looked at the little pile the night before she left, and sighed and thought
how bare and dismallooking the little house at Benger's Flat would be for many a long day to come. Lydia,
who was sitting on her bed superintending the packing, put her thoughts into words.
"My word, Phoebe! How empty your house will be."
"Lydia," the door opened and in came Mrs Marsden "How can you be so vulgar. No lady ever says
'My word.'"
"Oh, bother, mother," said Lydia, tossing her head, "you wouldn't believe the nuisance it is being ladylike. I
wish the thing had never been invented. I wish I was going away with Phoebe tomorrow."
"Into the bare little house?" asked Phoebe, smiling. "Well, perhaps you will come and stay with me when I'm
a little settled."
"That I will," said Lydia, with energy, and her mother sighed.
"Phoebe, it's so wrong of you to go contaminating the younger girls."
"Contaminating? Well, mother," said Phoebe, pointing with some surprise at her meagre possessions, "if they
envy me they really must have very little pleasure in life."
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"It's not that. It is that girls nowadays are never contented at home. They are always craving for something
new. Your father was only saying so last night."
"If I come to grief," said Phoebe, smiling at her younger sister, "and see what a good object lesson I'll be for
these younger girls, and if I succeed well you couldn't do better than let them do likewise."
"Oh, you'll succeed, never fear," said Lydia, cheerfully. "We all know now you never say you can do a thing
till you are sure you can. I must say it's pretty hard lines though to start out with so little."
"I don't like it at all," said her mother, tearfully. "It doesn't seem to me you have the bare necessaries of life,
and I really haven't anything to give you, Phoebe. I would, though you are so headstrong, but what would
your father say. I might give you sheets and blankets, but then your father doesn't approve and he mightn't
"
"It's all right, mother, it's all right. Don't give me anything. I don't want to make father cross. I've got plenty.
Nancy made me a magnificent present of two pairs of sheets and a pair of blankets, to say nothing of two
tablecloths and some kitchen cloths. Oh, I'm well set up, for I never expected such magnificent presents, and I
bought some things which are waiting for me down in Warrnambool."
"And when will you come back?" asked Mrs Marsden.
"I can't very well come and see you for some time, I'm afraid," said Phoebe. "Who will look after my house
and things?" and she felt quite a glow of pride in speaking of "my house," although it was such a small one.
"I don't mean that," said Mrs Marsden, "I mean for good and all."
"Well," laughed Phoebe, "I'm hoping I have relieved you of all the burden of my keep for good and all."
"Phoebe, don't talk like that. It is unladylike as well as ungrateful. All ladies," and Mrs Marsden put an
emphasis on "ladies," "live in their father's house till they are married. And when have I ever said you were a
burden?"
"Never, mother, never," said Phoebe, putting her hand on her mother's shoulder kindly. "Poor little mother,
but I'm not a fool, and I can't help seeing for myself how hard it is for you to get me my allowance, and if I
seem to want anything beyond twenty pounds a year, it is a terrible weight on your mind. I can't bear to ask
for even that, so I just must try and do something for myself."
"And your father says," said Mrs Marsden, "that at the end of the month you will be very glad to come back
to your comfortable home. Remember," she added tearfully, "we will always be very glad to have you, and I
think the lesson will do you good. You will be more contented after you have found out how hard it is to do
for yourself."
"And if you get on, Phoebe," put in Lydia, "mind you ask me down to stay. I'd just love it, and so would Nell.
We won't mind if it is a bit like a picnic."
"Next summer, perhaps," said Phoebe. "It ought to be a nice place in the summer."
And the day Phoebe got to Warrnambool with her twenty beehives and all her small belongings it was raining
in torrents. The roads were ankle deep in mud, the rain was washing down the ruts in streams, and all the
trees and grass were sodden with wet. And this was only the end of April, what would the country be like
before the longedfor summer came again? But it was no good repining. The best thing was to get settled in
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her new home as soon as possible. And the little cottage did look so uninviting so cold, and bare, and
dirty, and unhabitable generally. Phoebe's spirit sank to zero when the waggon which had brought her and her
belongings stopped at the gate.
"We'd better go right up to the door, I think," she suggested to the driver, "we can get to the back door. And,
oh, would you mind going over to the schoolhouse for the key?"
"There you are, miss," said the driver, when five minutes later he had opened the back door and brought the
dray up to it. "Now what shall I do with them hives?"
"Put them in here, I think," said Phoebe, peering into the dirty little skillion, which looked as if it had never
been scrubbed since it had been built. "It's so wet and cold, I'll keep them here for tonight, and I can see about
them tomorrow. And the rest of the things I'll have in the front room, please."
"Right you are," said the man, who, with a goodnatured desire to help, had all the friendly familiarity of his
class, but he worked with a will and Phoebe was not going to grumble at his familiarity. After all, she
thought, was she any way better than he.
It did not take long to empty the dray, and then the carter stood in the middle of the room and, rubbing his
hands together, surveyed the establishment with a friendly eye.
"Now if I can put things to rights a bit for you," he said.
"You are very kind," said Phoebe, "but really it's so dirty, I must try and clean it up first. The only thing I
seem to have forgotten is wood. I wonder where I could get some to light a fire."
"There's a good back log in the yard, I see," said the carter, "I'll just bring it in. It'll last you for two or three
days that. And I saw a lot of wood about half a mile up the road. I'll go up and bring you a little back in the
dray if you like. I don't suppose it'd cost much. They'll be glad enough to sell."
"How kind you are," said Phoebe, taking out her purse. "I'd be most grateful."
So he brought in the log which though wet enough outside was probably dry at the core, and then she heard
him whistling cheerfully as he went down the road, and in order not to think she set about ransacking the
house for rubbish that would do to start a fire. There were plenty of odds and ends, broken boxes and rags,
and by the time her new friend returned with enough wood to last her a week, which he proceeded to stack in
one of the skillions, there was a bright fire on the hearth, or rather on the top of the colonial oven, which
filled the sittingroom fireplace, the kettle was beginning to sing, and Phoebe herself had got into her
working dress and had set out one end of the table with the tea things and the bread and butter she had
brought with her.
"Well, that's hearty," said the man, "that looks like business. You'll do, I bet."
"I am much obliged to you for your kindness," she said. "I thought perhaps you might like a cup of tea. It is
so wet."
"Well, as you are so kind," he said, and he sat down and partook of tea and bread and butter, while Phoebe
apologised for the absence of milk, which she had forgotten.
"It's very good, thank you," he said, gratefully, "and just the thing on a day like this. If every one treated me
like you do I'd do well. See here now, miss, the boss he does a lot of business along this road, and if ever you
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want any help and I'm along the road, just you sing out and Ned Wilson's your man."
"Indeed, I am very grateful," said Phoebe once again, and when she gave him the money for his "boss," added
thereto a halfcrown for himself, which he returned promptly.
"No, no, I'm not that sort. I'm glad enough to help you and the tea's thanks enough. Now just you remember
Ned Wilson, and whenever I'm along this way, I'll just give a look in and see if I can help you a bit."
And he cut short her thanks by taking his departure there and then, and Phoebe felt she was fairly launched in
her new life.
She inaugurated it with a big scrubbing match. It was not a romantic way of celebrating her start in
housekeeping, but it was very necessary, for the little house was very dirty. However, she was a strong, active
young woman, not afraid of work, and with a good fire, lots of hot water and plenty of soap, things soon
began to assume a different aspect. Both of those two front rooms she cleaned out thoroughly, as very likely
they had never been cleaned since they had been built, and then she piled up the fire to dry them wood
was cheap enough at any rate and once dry she began to arrange her scanty possessions, and when, about
four o'clock in the afternoon, a gleam of sunlight broke through the heavy clouds and the rain cleared off, she
went outside and proceeded to clean her windows. She was rubbing away with a will when suddenly the little
gate, which was but fifty feet from the front door, opened, and a woman with a shawl over her head and a
baby in her arms stood beside her.
"How do you do, Miss Marsden," she said. "I'm Mrs Johnston, the school teacher's wife, and I thought I'd just
come over and say we're glad to see you here. I'm afraid you found the house pretty dirty, and Mr Johnston
was saying I ought to send the girl over to clean up a bit, but really what with four children, all babies as you
may say, and the schoolroom to be kept clean and the children do bring such lots of mud this weather, and
not one of them ever thinks to wipe their boots she really didn't get time to spare."
"Oh, that's all right," said Phoebe, cheerfully. "The front rooms are quite clean now, and tomorrow I'll see
about the back."
"That's just what I told Mr Johnston," said Mr Johnston's wife a little fretfully. "I said you'd have a girl, and
as there was only the two of you it wouldn't take much to clean up, and you with no children to be running off
to every minute."
"But I don't keep a servant," said Phoebe, bravely; "I'm just doing everything myself."
"Are you, now?" Mrs Johnston shifted the baby from one arm to the other. "Well, as I said, there's no children
to go messing about as soon as you've cleaned up," but Phoebe plainly saw, to her amusement, that she had
fallen in Mrs Johnston's estimation by doing all the work herself.
She gave a final polish to the last of the two windows, and then debated whether she should ask her landlord's
wife inside or not. The furniture was so meagre, and the floor was so clean, while Mrs Johnston, besides
being critical, had very muddy boots; however, hospitality gained the day, and Phoebe, laying down a sack at
the front door, for her guest to wipe her feet on, invited her inside. She saw her glance round at the empty
room, in which the only homely thing was the cheerful fire, and then she said
"You see, I'm beginning very humbly, Mrs Johnston. It's no good getting too many things till I see how I get
on. Will you have some tea? I'm sorry I have no milk, but I haven't found out where to get any yet."
But Mrs Johnston, greatly to Phoebe's relief, for she felt she could not afford to entertain two guests in the
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same day, declined the tea, and after a little humming and hawing managed to suggest that she should buy
milk from them. They had a cow, and would be very glad to let her have, say, a quart a day. The only
drawback was Mrs Johnston was evidently troubled with genteel notions, and hardly liked to suggest that she
should have it at a price. Phoebe, luckily, had no feeling of that sort; she explained at once that she was poor,
but would be very glad to buy milk, to come and fetch it herself, and to pay her 1 1/2d a pint. Her guest was
manifestly relieved when that little matter was settled, and then proceeded to tell her how she might get meat
from Mr Mackenzie, the farmer, who lived hardly a quarter of a mile away, and killed at least once a week,
and how the store where she could buy bread and groceries was not ten minutes' walk from the schoolhouse,
and the schoolhouse itself was the postoffice. Then she opined Phoebe would be lonely, things being so
different to what she was accustomed to, and Phoebe smiled. She hadn't had time to be lonely today, at all
events, and was heartily wishing her guest would go home so that she might get straightened up for the night.
Unluckily, another rain squall came up, darkening the whole sky, and Mrs Johnston drew a little closer to the
fire, made herself quite at home by unloosening her dress and giving the baby, who was fretful, his tea there
and then, and discoursed meanwhile on the people round about and their many shortcomings.
Mr Johnston, it seemed, was a blighted man. He was a firstclass teacher but the Minister of Education had a
'down' on him; was envious of his attainments, Mrs Johnston darkly hinted, and kept him hidden away here
teacher of a thirdclass school, and of course they both felt it for themselves and for their children, for the
society was not what they had been used to. Then, having in a manner explained that they were superior
people, and not to be judged in the same category as the rest, she settled down comfortably to gossip about
her neighbours, and told Phoebe the news of the district. The chief item of importance seemed to be the
establishment of a creamery a mile down the crossroad, and they did say all the farmers were going in for
dairy cows, and every one who had a little bit of ground would just be for going in for a cow. There was Mrs
Simpson, Mrs Mackenzie's sister, her husband never seemed to do no good, and was always away looking for
work and never finding it; she'd started a cow, and they said it was all she and the children had to live on.
And then she proceeded to dilate on the charms of "young Jack Fletcher," who, it seemed, was the beau of the
neighbourhood, and had a place of his own five miles further up, but spent a good deal of his time with his
sister, Mrs Mackenzie, and all the girls about were setting their caps at him, and none knew which was the
favoured one; and the Benger's Flat Debating Society was to meet in the schoolroom tonight, the subject was
to be, "Should Women be Allowed a Vote," and, if Miss Marsden liked, she Mrs Johnston would take
her.
But Phoebe declined with thanks, even though Jack Fletcher was to be there, and would be sure to be so
funny. He made you die with laughing. Well, next night they were going to hold a Social; it wasn't very
expensive, only a shilling a head, but if a gentleman brought you, or you took something towards the supper
something worth, say sixpence you got in free. She didn't go herself because of baby, but
But Phoebe declined that too. She never went out at night, and then, much to her relief, the baby finished his
supper, the clouds cleared off, and Mrs Johnson began to pull the shawl around her and declare the time had
slipped away so she really never did, and she must go home and see that the children got their tea, her girl
was that careless there was no trusting her. And then at the door she turned back again.
"If you'd like some milk tonight, Miss Marsden, will you come over for it. I don't know if the cow's milked,
the girl's that careless."
So Phoebe crossed the road with her jug in her hand, and smiled to herself as she thought how very shocked
her mother would have been.
But the cow was not milked, though she was standing close against the kitchen door waiting for the
milkmaid, and when Phoebe saw the unwashed can that was waiting, she repented her of her offer to buy
milk.
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"Suppose," she hesitated, "as I'm rather busy, you let me milk a little into my jug here, I see your can isn't
ready."
"I couldn't milk to save my life," said the schoolmaster's wife, "but you can if you like."
And again Phoebe felt she was going down in her neighbour's estimation, but she got her milk fresh and pure,
which was the main thing, and when she got home she put the finishing touches to her household
arrangements, changed her dress, and did her hair again neatly, laid her table, and grilled herself a chop for
tea, and, when everything was cleared away, sat down before her bright fire to review the events of the day
and to think out her mode of life for the future.
The rain had come up again and beat furiously against the windowpane, the wind was howling dismally
down the chimney, and every now and again an extra wild gust scattered the floor with hot ashes; a wild and
wintry night for a girl to spend alone in a strange place, but somehow Phoebe did not feel depressed. She had
been prepared for it; she had quite expected to be miserable and unhappy on this her first night away from
home, but, much to her astonishment, the depression had not come. She was tired, it was true, but to look
round at the clean floor and wellscrubbed table gave her a feeling of elation. The poverty of the little house
did not strike her, she only saw it as it was when she entered and as it was now. If she alone, without any
help, could make so great a change in such a very short time, why should she not succeed in other things.
Then it gave her pleasure to look in her purse. She had reckoned that coming down here and setting up
housekeeping would cost her, along with her first journey, nearly £15, and behold, here she was, settled in her
house, with provisions enough to last her at least a week, and all she had spent was £ 10 3s 9d. To be sure the
house was bare, and Mrs Johnston's taste in wallpapers she supposed it was Mrs Johnston's taste was
enough to make the hair of even the commonplace Philistine stand on end, but what matter? The thing that
troubled her most was Mrs Johnston herself. Suppose, oh, suppose she should grow like Mrs Johnston! She
might, why not? Mrs Johnston evidently considered herself superior to the rest of the folks surrounding her,
and people, women especially, grew to be like their surroundings. Perhaps she might be thankful if she were
no worse than Mrs Johnston. Phoebe shivered and drew a long breath. She was poor, and must live by the
work of her hands, but might it not be possible to keep still some small modicum of refinement. Like one's
surroundings? Yes, it was a law of nature, but it was no good repining. Things would not have been so very
much better even if she had stayed at home. And she would, perhaps, in the days to come, if she succeeded,
have a chance to improve her mind by travel and mixing with the world; but now it was not good fretting for
what she could not get. She would make the best of it. And there and then, sitting with her hands folded,
looking into the glowing coals, Phoebe made two wise resolutions, and kept them faithfully for many a long
day. One was that she would never neglect her personal appearance. There was no one to see, but it would be
the first step down. She would always do her hair neatly, she would always have a tidy dress, and always she
would change her dress and make herself smart for the evening, though there should be no one to see but the
kitten Mrs Johnston would give her as soon as it could leave its mother. The other was that, however busy she
was, she would try and improve her mind by a little reading every day. Her books were very few and
valueless, just old school prizes, but among them was a Shakespeare in small print and a tawdry blue and
gold binding, and she resolved solemnly, as Phoebe was always resolving, to read carefully and thoughtfully
at least one act of a play every night before she went to bed. What good it would do her she hardly
understood, but at least it would separate her in some undefined manner from Mrs Johnston and women of
that stamp. It was good policy always to made the best of things, thought Phoebe, taking down the
Shakespeare from his new home on the mantelshelf and turning to "The Tempest" as the most suitable for
such a night.
And when she had read for half an hour she went to bed. It was only halfpast seven, but she dreaded sitting
up longer lest she should begin to feel lonely. She had done a good day's work, she was tired but hopeful, and
as soon as her head touched the pillow she was sound asleep.
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CHAPTER XXI. GETTING ON
One line a line fraught with instruction he was prudent, he was patient, and he persevered.
TOWNSEND.
Put it what way you will it is dull work for any one to live alone, and in after days Phoebe always looked
back on that first winter spent in the little cottage at Benger's Flat as the dreariest time she had ever spent in
her life. On the whole the first week or so was not so hard to bear as she had expected. There was so much to
do cleaning up, putting out the bees in the little paddock, arranging her mode of life and settling down
generally. It was afterwards, when she had done everything she could do, and had to sit down in the short
winter days and wait, that she found life hard, and gave way sometimes to fits of despair. If she had only had
one of her sisters, or even one of the little brothers with her, it would have been all right, but she could not
afford to ask them to come and stay with her even if her father would have allowed it, which was improbable,
and so she just had to sit still and watch her money slowly dwindle away while she waited until the bees had
made enough honey for her to sell some. They worked, those bees, that was her great comfort. Down near the
coast, and she could always see the sea through the hollows of the sand hummocks, the climate is always
mild, so that whenever the sun was out, and he was out very often indeed that winter, she had the satisfaction
of seeing her hives very busy. It almost seemed as if they realised that their very existence depended on their
activity. In June, too, the heath, pink and white, covered all the bush round with glory, and the bees worked
hard at making the best of all honey. Truly the bees could not be carrying out their part of the contract better.
And in June, too, she found a new interest such a small thing is of importance when our lives are narrow.
It was only that in the latter end of May she discovered that a big white hen came regularly and laid her eggs
in the long grass just beside her front door.
She was tidying the place up a little, and had begun to dig over the garden with a view to growing a few
vegetables for her own use, but now she decided she would not disturb that little piece of grass. The hen
should have it to herself. She concluded that it belonged to Mrs Johnston, but that lady was above knowing
her poultry by sight; she rather insinuated that it was beneath the dignity of one in her social position so to do,
even if she had the time, so Phoebe concluded she was harming nobody by feeding that hen and encouraging
her to regard the little garden as her home. By and by when 'Mrs Grey' had, in gratitude for all the household
scraps, given her hostess no less than eighteen eggs for breakfast, she wanted to sit, and Phoebe negotiated
with her welltodo neighbour, Mrs Mackenzie, for a sitting of duck eggs, and in the beginning of July she
had added to her possessions eleven golden balls of ducklings.
"My!" said Mrs Johnston, as she leaned over the fence one fine morning when the wintry sunshine was so
warm it made one think gladly of the coming spring, "my! but those are fine ducklings of yours. How do you
manage it? Jack set a hen in the stable and she only brought out six, and now there are only three left, and
they aren't half the size yours are, though they're a week older."
Phoebe laughed.
"I've got nothing to do but look after them, you see. I expect that makes all the difference. I've got such a lot
of vegetables now, I think I must raise some more chickens. I wonder if it pays to sell them."
"Oh, you can sell them right enough," said Mr's Johnston, "but paying is quite another thing. It doesn't pay to
rear poultry. Everybody'll tell you that. I don't suppose you'd get more than two shillings a pair for fat
chickens even if you sent them in direct to the Western Hotel. They're always wanting fowls there."
"That would pay me," said Phoebe, with a sigh of relief, as she saw a new source of income opening to her.
"Why, these eleven little ducks have only cost me a shilling as yet. Ninepence for the sitting of eggs and
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threepence for the cabbage seed, and I haven't nearly used up all my cabbages yet."
"Well, I never," said the schoolmaster's wife in surprise, "is that the way you count? I wasn't meaning that
way. I was just meaning it wasn't worth while to sell good fat ducks for so little. All the time they take up
too."
"I haven't got anything more profitable to do," said Phoebe, smiling. Mrs Johnston was so limp and superior,
she always made Phoebe feel intensely energetic and commonplace. "I came here to work."
"Well, to be sure," sighed Mrs Johnston, "it's what a woman always has to do, but not your way. I was just
saying to Mr Johnston only last night how strange it was you coming to live here all by yourself. He gave you
a month, but it's near three now, and, my word, I couldn't have believed a girl could have improved the place
so. It looks quite a different place."
"I hope it'll look better by and by when the spring comes," said Phoebe, smiling, for even Mrs Johnston's
witness to any improvement in the cottage she had found so desolate was welcome.
"Yes," went on her neighbour, opening the gate and swinging it slowly backwards and forwards as if she
were considering the propriety of coming in, "you're just a plague to me, you are. Mr Johnston's for ever
throwing it in my teeth how nice this place is kept and how you're getting on. And look at our place."
The Johnston establishment stood in the midst of a quagmire, as Phoebe knew well enough, but she hardly
liked to say so to its mistress, so she prevaricated, and murmured, "You have all the children to mind, you
see," which was true enough, only the children didn't get minded, but that never struck their mother.
"That's just what I tell Mr Johnston," said his wife, eagerly; "I'm sure he has just as much time after school
hours as I have."
"A great deal more," murmured Phoebe, who did not love Mr Johnston.
"There, I'll tell him you said so," said his wife; "he thinks a lot of your opinion. He thinks you're just the right
sort of woman."
"Does he really?" and Phoebe smiled. It was strange the first word of commendation should come from a man
she so thoroughly disliked as she did the schoolmaster. Then, on the strength of opening up a new industry in
the sale of ducks, she became suddenly hospitable, and asked the schoolmaster's wife in to tea, an invitation
that was eagerly accepted, for by now that good lady realised though she failed to understand the reason
why that Miss Marsden's scones and homemade bread were excellent, and Miss Marsden's butter,
although it was made from Mrs Johnston's own milk, was always fresh and sweet as the day it was made.
"I've given over making butter," she sighed. "It's cheap enough to buy, and it's an awful bother to make, and
then like enough it's not eatable."
"I make this from your milk," said Phoebe, demurely.
"Oh, I know. But as I tell Mr Johnston, you've got no one to distract you and can just have a regular time for
everything. Besides, I was never brought up to this sort of work, and if Mr Johnston only had his due "
And again Phoebe had to listen to a tirade against the sins of the Minister of Education which lasted till it was
time for her guest to go home.
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Indeed, Mrs Johnston had spoken truly. The improvement three months' hard work had effected in that
miserable little cottage was something to be wondered at. Its mistress had never spared herself, and the more
despairing and hopeless and lonely she felt, the harder she worked, partly to achieve her end and partly to kill
time and give herself no time to think. The rich black soil was easy enough to work, luckily, and she dug up
all her garden with her own hands, and sowed vegetables, cabbages and potatoes, and suchlike useful things.
She mended all the tumbledown fence that surrounded her acre of land. Nancy sent her flowers and seed,
and she planted them all, carefully tended them, and already the little flower garden looked flourishing, and
ivy geranium was beginning to grow over the ugly nakedness of the house. She invested in a pot of paint and
painted the door, and then turning her attention to the interior spent the rest of her paint on the woodwork
there, and when it was all gone, having no more money for such luxuries, laid in a stock of whitewash and
thoroughly whitened the two skillions at the back. The house might be poor, and the furniture decidedly
scanty, but at least it was spotlessly clean, and that seemed to lend an air of refinement that is wanting in
many a better furnished house.
Still there was always the loneliness to combat. The long, dark nights, when the rain beat against the
windows, and the wind howled down the chimney, when the clouds scurried across the sky, and the 'boom
boom' of the wedgeshaped flock of wild geese came borne like the call of the ghostly huntsman on the cold
wind. There were the wet days when the ground outside was like a quagmire, the trees round were sodden,
and the sky one even grey, and she knew that from morning till night she would not have a soul to speak to,
no one to cheer her, nothing to break the monotony. It was a hard life for a young woman, a very hard life
indeed, and probably the only thing that kept Phoebe to it that long winter was the feeling that she could not
go back and own herself a failure. Had either her father or mother been but a little more sympathetic, she
would have thrown it up, gone back home and declared it was utterly impossible for a woman to live alone;
but as it was, she felt she must succeed, there was nothing else for it. She could not afford to fail.
Every evening before she went to bed she read her Shakespeare carefully, but she sometimes wondered if it
did not make her discontented. Where was the good of reading of the joys and sorrows of other women's
lives, when her small joys consisted in the successful hatching out of a new brood of chicks, her worst sorrow
was when a hawk swooped down and carried off her most promising ducklings. There was nothing noble or
great in such a life as that, she thought; even the small pleasures were marred by the want of some one to
share them with, and she must just make the best of it. Then she would get up and walk about and try to
throw off the despondency that would come over her, to reason it away. Every man's life looked at closely is
one dull routine of small duties. It depends upon the man himself to be happy, at any rate, thought Phoebe
with a sigh; all she could do was to make the best of it, and write such cheerful letters home as made the
younger girls wild with envy of her independence. But to herself she never minced matters. It was dull,
deadly dull, and she seemed far away from everything that goes to make up a happy life for a woman. A
woman ought to marry and have children yes, that was what she was created for, that is her use in life, and
Phoebe felt sad, sometimes as she sat over her lonely fire, that such happiness could never come to her. She
thought of no man in particular; long ago she had forgotten her fancy for Allan Morrison, it had died out as
utterly as does a fire for want of fuel, and in her hurry to get settled down she had entirely dropped her
correspondence with him. It was a pleasure certainly to get letters, but she could not find the time to write to a
man who as the days went on got more and more of a shadow. She might never see him again; where was the
good of writing now he had dropped out of her life, she felt friendly enough towards him, she even smiled
sometimes to herself as she thought what an interest she had taken in him, but all that was passed and behind
her, and only sometimes of an evening she sat over her cheery fire and read of the loves of dead and gone
men and women, she sighed to think that such happiness or such sorrow could never come into her life. Well,
it was possible, of course, but it was not very likely. She was getting on for thirty, and no man had loved her,
and now she never even saw a man. It is an undeniable fact that you cannot be loved without being seen, and
though our mothers used to say that if a woman was to be married she would be, for the man would come
down the chimney to do it, still Phoebe in her own mind thought there was a good deal in propinquity, and
she certainly didn't expect a man to come down the chimney to marry her. After all, wasn't she happier than if
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she had married as Nancy had done? She was she thought a thousand times happier, and yet Nancy
had the baby to comfort her, and there was no doubt Nancy was fond of her baby, fonder than she Phoebe
was of any human being. She gave it up; where was the good of bothering, she must just make the best of
things, and generally after a bad fit of the blues over night, she would wake up cheerful and hopeful enough
next morning.
And in August, greatly to her surprise, Nancy came to see her drove out one bright sunny day when she
was watching the bees hard at work on the heather which lay between Benger's Flat and the sand hummocks,
and announced that she was going to stop a week at least.
"I can leave baby at night now, and nurse is most trustworthy, so I'll leave them at the Western, and I'll come
out and stop with you, and we'll play at being girls again."
"Oh, Nan," said Phoebe, the prospect was so delightful, "but "
"But you haven't got a bed. I guessed you hadn't, so I brought me bed along with me, like they did in
Scripture."
"But Joe "
"Now, Joe's all right. You'd mollycoddle a husband, Phoebe, if you had him. Don't you know a good wife
always leaves her husband every three months for a week at least, so he can miss her and so learn to
appreciate her properly."
"But, Nan "
"Now, which knows more about husbands, you or me? And here's Master Baby come to see his auntie. Isn't
he a beautiful boy, Phoebe, isn't he? And doesn't he sit up strong and straight? Wouldn't you be proud of him
if you were me? And not six months old yet," and the proud young mother took him out of his nurse's arms
and set him down on Phoebe's table and took off his bonnet and cloak so that his aunt might see at a glance
all his good points. And his aunt admired him fully as much as even the most exacting mother could expect,
and for a quarter of an hour those two young women indulged in baby worship of the most approved order. It
was delightful to Phoebe to have her sister with her again, it was delightful to have the baby, and to hold the
soft warm morsel in her arms, and to know in a measure it belonged to her, and she had a right to admire him
as much as she pleased. Then Nancy with a sigh sent her boy back to Warrnambool, and set to work to
criticise Phoebe's belongings.
"There's room for my bed in your bedroom, isn't there?" she asked, peeping in. "Yes, just. It'll be here before
six o'clock. I'm going to make you a present of it, and then you can ask the girls down to stop with you. It'll
be good for you and good for them."
"Nan, dear, how good you are!"
"Phoebe, dear, how bare your house is," mimicked her sister.
"It's not manners to criticise when you come to stay with a person. And I am sure," she added, laughing, "you
never saw a cleaner house."
"I never did, that's true," said Nancy. "My servants don't keep things half as spotless. Did you do it all
yourself? Let's look at your hands."
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Phoebe held them out, laughing. Of old Nancy was wont to say Phoebe never took proper care of her hands,
and they were like a cook's.
"H'm, not so bad, after all. You must have been wearing those gloves of Joe's you took away with you, after
all. I never thought you would."
"Well, it was rather a struggle," admitted Phoebe, "but I kept it up because I don't want to sink more than I
can possibly help and I think a woman looking after the housework, and working in the garden, and planting
her own potatoes, and all that sort of thing, is so apt to sink so easily without knowing it, so I thought I'd just
take care where I did know. But the gloves were a trial I must admit."
"Good girl," said her sister, standing a little off and surveying her.
"But you know, Phoebe, you don't look half bad, far, far better than you used to do at home. There's a perky
look about you as if you knew the place belonged to you."
Phoebe laughed.
"It belongs to Joe, I think. I never could have managed if it hadn't been for him."
"And as it is, do you think you can manage? Really and truly now, Phoebe?"
"Really and truly I believe I can. The bees are doing splendidly. I never saw so much honey in their hives at
this season before. I believe I'll have plenty to extract before Christmas, and then, well, I shall have some
poultry to sell before then. It all brings grist to the mill."
"It's so little," said Nancy. "It hardly seems worth while to toil for so little."
"It costs me a mere nothing to live, you must remember, so it's all such profit that if I could do it on a grand
scale I should make my fortune. If eleven little ducks cost me exactly four and sixpence to rear up to four
months old, and I can sell them then at one shilling a piece, that's a good enough profit, isn't it?"
"Is it?" said Nancy, dubiously. "I don't understand these things."
"It's more than one hundred per cent in four months. Oh, I think it must be good enough. I expect on a large
scale it wouldn't work out, but it's all right on a small one."
Nancy sighed.
"Why didn't you think of this before? What fun it would have been to set up farming with you. Wouldn't it
have been jolly, Phoebe?" and she drew her chair up to the fire and stretched out her hands to the glowing
coals, for the evening was closing in and it was growing chilly. "We'd have got on capitally together. What an
awful pity I'm married."
Phoebe thought so too, very often, but she knew, too, that Nancy was not made of the stuff that would have
gone hopefully through the winter she had gone through, so perhaps things were better ordered as they were.
"You've got baby," she suggested.
"Yes, thank goodness. I didn't want him, but I don't know what I'd do without him now. Joe's awfully good,
you know, but somehow I don't suppose any husband could ever be like your own child."
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Her sister said nothing. She disagreed so thoroughly with her sister that she felt the best thing she could do
was to hold her tongue. And after all, what did she know about it?
"Do you ever hear from Allan Morrison or Ned Kirkham now?" asked Nancy, after a pause. And Phoebe
knew that she, too, had been wondering if her feelings towards a husband would be the same if she had
married the man who had won her girlish heart.
"No, never," said Phoebe. "I let it drop for a little, and then, somehow, I never wrote again, though I intended
to, and now I don't even intend to, though I'd like to know how they're getting on."
"I used to think you were smitten with Allan Morrison."
"I believe I was," owned Phoebe, with a blush and a heartwhole laugh. "But if I was I've forgotten all about
it long ago."
"And if Allan Morrison met you now," mused her sister, "he'd be the one to fall in love, I expect. How is it,
Phoebe, that you've grown so much better looking, under such unfavourable circumstances, too."
"Better looking, am I? I'm sure I'm glad to hear it. Perhaps it's because nobody hints I'm so plain and
unattractive generally. It suits some people to be a good lot criticised, but I don't believe it suits me. And
then, you know even if it's dull it's comforting to think one's getting on so well."
"It seems to be," said her sister, and relapsed into thought again.
After a while she burst out again.
"I do believe you're right, Phoebe, you never had a fair chance before. We all decided you were the ugly
duckling, and shoved you into the position. What's going to become of the other girls? Are they going to
marry, like me, or strike out for themselves, like you?"
"Perhaps they'd better marry," said the elder girl, thoughtfully, "if they get a chance. It's pretty lonely living
by yourself, and you never know how it may turn out."
"There's a greater uncertainty in matrimony, my dear," said the married woman a thought bitterly, "and if it
wasn't for the children Well, I shall just tell them at home they had better send Lydia and Nellie to you
before they let them settle down."
"That's a triumph for me," said Phoebe. "You remember you said "
"Never mind what I said. It's your looks I go on now. You look as if the world belonged to you, and I know
that all your worldly possessions consist of an old hen, a few young ducks, and a lot of horrid old bees."
"It's a good deal for an unmarried woman," laughed Phoebe. "I shouldn't have had that if I'd been a dutiful
daughter."
"Well, Phoebe, I'm going to fit you out a little. I shall give you some cretonne to decorate these bare walls
with, and a sofa and a couple of easy chairs, and wouldn't you like some more fowls? Honestly, now."
"Oh, but, Nan "
"You would, Phoebe, you know you would. You would get all Mrs Johnston's waste milk, and that and a little
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pollard would fatten them splendidly."
"If I could get a couple of broody hens I'd raise plenty," owned Phoebe.
"Well, we'll get the hens tomorrow."
Nancy spent her week with her sister, and it would be difficult to say which of the two young women enjoyed
it most, and before she left she was as good as her word, and provided her sister with the sitting hens she had
promised her; not only that, but after she had gone home a bulky parcel arrived for Phoebe, which turned out
to be Nancy's sewing machine.
"I want a treadle machine," she wrote, "now I have baby to work for, so you may as well have the old one,
and mind you let me see you with decent curtains next time I come down. I'm coming back in November."
And after that life was never again so hard for Phoebe. She was lonely, certainly, but she couldn't feel quite
so lonely when she sat in her easychair over the fire and looked round the little room which now, although it
still needed a carpet, looked cosy and comfortable in the firelight, and which, she reflected, was her very
own. The very poultry took away half the sense of loneliness; it was good to think of those hens sitting so
steadily on their eggs, of the chickens already hatched and growing fat and ready for the market, and there
was always the thought that Nancy would come back in November and be as interested and a great deal more
surprised than she herself would be at her progress.
It was a long while to wait, but success would come; of that she was certain now, and that was so great a step
gained it coloured all the world rosecolour for Phoebe, and wonderful were the castles she built in the air for
the next three months. The summer was coming, the bees were busy, and her poultryyard was flourishing,
and the garden which had been a wilderness was growing as things only do grow in the rich soil round
Warrnambool. She had no time to be dull in this busy present when the future was promising her all manner
of good things, and the success would be the sweeter that she had won it with her own hands.
CHAPTER XXII. THE BEGINNING OF A GOLDFIELD
An oath from Salem Hardieker,
A shriek upon the stairs,
A dance of shadows on the wall,
A knife thrust unawares
And Hans came down, as cattle drop,
Across the broken chairs.
RUDYARD KIPLING.
"Murder will out," they say, but the difficulty of hiding a murder is as nothing to the difficulty of keeping to
yourself a rich gold find. The murdered, maybe, has few friends, but is there a single soul in all the broad
continent of Australia that is not interested, and keenly interested at that, in a new gold find?
Kirkham and Morrison bore away some of their richest specimens to the former's hut, and there, improvising
a pot, they dollied out the little pieces of quartz they had brought along with them, till at the end of a long
morning they stood up with aching arms, and with smiling faces surveyed the goodly little pile of gold that
lay on an old Argus in the middle of the table. They had no means of calculating its value, but roughly the
merest novice could have told that, if all the quartz was as rich as that, a fortune lay there ready to their hand.
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Then they discussed ways and means, and before a month was out were free of the station, settled alongside
the outcrop which Morrison still contemptuously referred to as a "buckreef," and were working for their own
hand.
But the birds of the air, as Morrison had prophesied, carried the news, and one hot morning as Kirkham sat
wearily on a boulder letting his steel shod rod drop regularly into the dollypot between his knees, while
Morrison was away refilling their waterbags at the soak, there was a faint whirring in the air, a shadow fell
across him, and, looking up in surprise, for shadows come seldom or never in that land, he beheld a vision
that made him rub his eyes in bewilderment, for there close beside him was a young fellow covered from
head to heel in red dust just dismounting from a bicycle also smothered in the same red dust.
"By all that's holy!" he gasped, for, little as he expected to see a man in such a Godforsaken place, still less
did he expect to see such a product of civilisation as a bicycle.
"Well, matey," said the stranger, calmly, "how goes it? A pretty good average, eh?"
But Kirkham was too dumbfoundered for the moment to do more than stammer out
"How the devil did you get here?"
"On the bike, to be sure. You can bet your sweet life the bike's going to be the coming beast of burden on
these goldfields. You can get along on him, and he don't want feed or water."
"But but what brought you?" asked Kirkham, lamely, thinking of Morrison's desire that they should
keep this to themselves.
"You, mate and your chum. You don't suppose a man can go about Geraldton mysteriously buying up
stores and provisions and then cutting away back and not saying nothing to nobody these times without
attracting attention. Most of them have made towards Cue's Find at Lake Austin, but I reckoned they'd be
rather thick on the ground, and I remembered you and just followed up your tracks on the bike, and a mighty
rough track I've had of it," and he sat down and passed his grimy hand over his still grimier face.
"But what have they gone to Lake Austin for?" asked Kirkham, still in the dark.
"Gold, man same old job. You don't suppose you're the only person in the colony has found gold, do you?
Why, Tom Cue do you know Tom Cue? great strapping Irishman he found gold on Lake Austin,
and he's got the bounty. I heard it just the day after I lost sight of you, and so when there was talk of a rush I
thought I must just as well make it my business to see what you were after, and here I am."
Here he was, and here he meant to stay, evidently. After all, the land was free to all, and this was what
Morrison had warned him would happen sooner or later. They had to make the best of it. But Allan himself
was not pleased when he saw the stranger; however, there was no help for it; they must just peg out their
claim and let him pick one for himself. Well enough they knew that he too would keep the secret just as long
as he could, for, supposing the first claims turned out to be duffers, how could these firstcomers pick
another if the place was overrun with eager, anxious diggers?
But it came to that. Long before Morrison and Kirkham had realised anything on their claim diggers came
trooping in and settled themselves down at irregular intervals between Kirkham's Find and the soak, and
roamed the country round, trying every likely looking rock with their napping hammers. The soak showed
signs of giving out, and an enterprising gentleman from Geraldton settled down with a condenser by a
shallow salt lake about two miles to the eastward and dispensed fresh water to the camp at the rate of a
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shilling a gallon, finding it more lucrative than any gold mine. A hotel calling itself the "Kirkham Grand
Hotel" arose right in the middle of the claypan, where in the hot sunshine the false gondolas used to be seen
floating calmly on the waters of the makebelieve lake; and, if the only bedroom had for a roof the clear sky
and for a floor the bare earth, still the whisky was fiery and the brandy had a bite in it that was much
approved of, and the proprietor, too, was in a fair way to make his fortune. Grimy men smothered in red dust,
who had not washed for a fortnight, walked the roughly marked out streets, and day by day round every
corrugated iron hut and ragged tent grew the untidy, unsightly heaps that go to make the refuse of a mining
camp. Empty preserved meat tins perhaps predominated, but there was a very fair sprinkling of kerosene tins
that had seen better days and been worn out as buckets, and a goodly array of old boots, while as for the
bones scanty as was the meat supply Kirkham, who was new to the beginnings of a diggings township,
wondered daily at those increasing heaps of bones.
But it was a rich find, not a poor man's diggings by any means, for provisions were ruinous in prices, and the
gold was all imbedded in quartz so hard as to require powerful machinery to crush it and separate it.
All around the firstcomer's ground was being pegged out, and the owners thereof found plenty to encourage
them to go on, or rich enough specimens to warrant their trying to float their mine in the eastern or the
English markets.
That was what Morrison and Kirkham decided they must do with their mine. It was rich, no doubt; they had
got right on the reef, and it was very rich; every time they came on it the gold showed thickly, but it was so
hard as to be unworkable without more machinery than they could afford. They had been lucky in the nuggets
they picked out at first, but to go any further without more money seemed impossible. And more money they
had not got, but with so much gold in sight it ought to be easy enough to raise it.
They sat there at the table in their rude little hut, and the bright full moon outside in the clear sky softened
down the crude ugliness of the camp; from the Grand Hotel a little way off came the sound of singing, and a
little nearer at hand the sound of voices talking softly in a foreign tongue, and now and then a discontented
grunt from the camels camped alongside their Afghan drivers just at the back of the hut. They were well
enough accustomed by now to the sight of a camel train with its oldworld guardians; they suited this desert
land. No horse could live here without being fed, and who but a millionaire could afford to feed horses with
chaff at a shilling a pound?
"It's a beastly hole," said Kirkham, with a sigh. "I wish I'd never left Victoria."
"The gold, man, the gold! Look at the yellow boys," and Morrison turned over the specimens on the table
before him.
"Gold, yes, but what's the good of it to us when it keeps us sweating here in the midst of filth and stench and
heat and every other abomination?"
"A little patience, Ned a little more patience, and you'll see. All the same, we can't do any more without
machinery."
"And machinery we haven't got, and not a red cent to buy it with all our rich gold find," said Kirkham,
bitterly.
"A mine like this is as good as money any day, though," said Morrison, with confidence. "Jenkins over at the
pub there was talking to me only this morning. The people in the eastern colonies are mad about the mines
here, and he'd have no difficulty in putting a good mine like ours on the Melbourne market. That would soon
raise money enough for all the machinery we want."
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"And where do we come in?" asked Kirkham.
"We'll keep a fourth or a sixth share for ourselves, of course. And if this reef is only as rich as it promises to
be, that'll more than make millionaires of us both. What do you say, old man? There's nothing else for it, I'm
thinking."
Kirkham got up and moved uneasily towards the door. It was phantom gold they had found after all. There
was the rich reef mocking them with its promise of fabulous wealth, and yet day by day with aching arms and
weary backs they only managed to dolly out sufficient gold from the hard quartz to buy their daily tucker, the
flour and tea and sugar and hard tough mutton or unsavoury tinned meat that went to make up the fare of the
average digger at "Sunset," as the township had come to be called.
There were some bloated millionaires in camp who could afford such luxuries such as sardines and salmon at
seven shillings a tin, but they had struck it rich on a patch of alluvial half a mile to the eastward of Kirkham's
Find, and the only patch of alluvial on the diggings. As a rule it seemed the great majority were in the same
predicament as the first finders. There was plenty of gold apparently, but provisions were so high and the
quartz so hard that they were only able to get sufficient to carry on day by day till some syndicate from the
eastern colonies or from Europe should provide the money wherewith to work the claims.
"It's the hardest earned money I ever got," said Kirkham, thoughtfully, looking up at the velvety sky spangled
with golden stars. "If I could only raise enough to buy a camel I'd go out prospecting for more alluvial. That's
the stuff to pay."
"Go on a bike, man," suggested Allan Morrison, who was busy cleaning out the wheel socket that did duty
for a dollypot; "go on a bike. But then you wouldn't know good alluvial when you saw it."
"And I couldn't manage a bike," sighed Kirkham. "It's all very well on the beaten tracks, but it must be pretty
well impossible once you get into rough country. These fellows only ride them where they know the country's
pretty easy going. I've a good mind to chuck the whole thing and go back to Victoria and go in for the
dairying business. I see creameries and butter factories are the latest things over there. Makes one's mouth
water to think of it, doesn't it?"
"It's your turn for bread and milk tomorrow, old man," laughed his cousin. "I see you're hankering after the
flesh pots."
"Condensed milk and the heels of the dampers," grumbled Kirkham. "I've got to loathe this place. Hark to the
row they're kicking up at the pub over there."
"Jenkins has imported a fourthhand billiard table," said Morrison, "that's the attraction. Oh yes, and they're
raffling a camel too."
"I heard," said Kirkham, "that Disney was going to raffle 'Larl.' She's a rare good camel, only a pound a
member; I'd go in for her myself if I hadn't always such beastly bad luck, that if I did win her she'd probably
die on my hands."
Morrison laughed.
"You are down on your luck, old man. There's many a man would be glad to stand in your shoes, with half a
rich gold mine at his disposal. Come on, old chap, suppose we take a ticket or two. We aren't so stony yet that
we can't afford a little recreation."
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"I don't feel up to that stinking, reeking bar tonight," objected Kirkham.
"Come on, old man," said Morrison, "any distraction will be good for you. We can't afford to have the senior
partner getting morbid in this way. Let's look at the funds," and he drew a chamois leather bag out of his
breeches pocket, and peered in it at the golddust it contained.
"Yes, it'll run it," he said; "good solid gold dust, worth £3 15s an ounce if it's worth a penny. The Union Bank
opens a branch tomorrow, and then I expect we'll get a fairer price for our gold."
He put the bag into his pocket, and then putting his hand on his cousin's shoulder, fairly forced him along in
the direction of the Kirkham Grand Hotel.
Half the Kirkham Grand was of canvas, and being fairly well lighted with kerosene lamps, the shadows on
the walls from outside showed a surging, tossing mass of heads distorted into all imaginable shapes, with
here and there an arm above the mass frantically waving, as if to call attention to its owner's wants, while just
at the edge of the tent, a shadow much higher than the rest showed that some one was raised up on a box or
table high above the others.
"That's that little beast, Herman," said Kirkham. "I know the curly brim of his hat."
"He's running the raffle, I expect? Then we're sure of two things. One is that Isaac Herman will not lose by
the transaction, and the other is that there'll be an almighty big row before it's all over."
They were in the crowd at the door now elbowing their way in, through a motley crew made up of specimens,
it seemed, from every nation under the sun, wedged tightly together, one reeking mass of odoriferous
humanity. The kerosene lamps were fixed for safety against the corrugated iron wall that separated the bar
from the rest of the house and threw a yellow smoky light over the scene, and between them hung a large
placard, flystained and dirty, bearing this legend in big black letters:
"To Trust is to Bust, To Bust is Hell. No Trust, no Bust, No Bust, No Hell. Our only Trust is in God,
Everybody else MUST PAY CASH."
This was Jenkins' creed and he abided by it, and was popularly supposed to be making his pile in
consequence. Tonight the bar counter had been pushed into one corner to give plenty of space, and as it was
hardly high enough, two brandy cases were placed on one end of it, and on them, high above the swaying
crowd, was perched the little Jew whom Allan Morrison had objected to. In one hand he held a long strip of
paper which he waved round his head while he emphasised his remarks by dabbing in the air with a long
pencil, and his tongue never ceased for a single moment.
"Now, gentlemen, gentlemen," he kept saying, with a decided Hebraic twang in his voice, "make room there,
gentlemen. Fair play's a jewel, and there's gentlemen at the back wanting to come in. Make room, make
room. Them as has recorded their names might pass out. Careful record will be kept. The drawing will come
off just as soon as ever the hundred members are filled in, and the winner will be notified at once. There's no
necessity, gentlemen, for you to crowd here. Drinks will be handed through the kitchen window to all who
pay first. And we want room here for those who can't get in. Will you move, gentlemen? I have your names
here," and he mopped his moist forehead with the list; "on my honour, I have."
Somehow this didn't seem quite to reassure the company as it ought to have done. There were one or two
laughs that were the reverse of complimentary. The men goodhumouredly crowded themselves a little
closer together, but though many tried to get in, no one made the least effort to get out, and the heat and the
reek grew more unbearable. It was a hot night outside; inside, as Allan Morrison remarked to his cousin, the
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usual sheet of brown paper that separated the Kirkham Grand from the infernal regions had been removed for
the evening. There was nothing picturesque about the crowd, as a rule there is nothing picturesque about the
ordinary digger, and these all were clad alike, in grimy flannel shirts and still grimier moleskin breeches, the
only difference being that the dust which coated every man impartially was sometimes red, sometimes white,
and sometimes yellow, just according to the nature of the ground in which he was working; if he was not
working at all he was likely to be red, for that colour decidedly predominated in the unmade streets of Sunset,
and no man there was such a millionaire as to be able to indulge in a good square wash more than once a
fortnight.
"It's lucky," murmured Morrison, as they moved slowly through the crowd towards the bar counter and the
little Jew, "that mirrors are scarce in this part of the world. Some of us, I reckon, would receive a shock if we
could see ourselves."
"To say nothing of the girl we left behind us," laughed the man next him, whom popular opinion regarded as
the son of an earl, but who was known on the camp as Longlegged Larry. "Look at the Afghans over there.
'Pon my word, they look so eminently respectable it makes me feel a blackguard to be in the same room with
them."
"Look at the Chinamen over there then," suggested Morrison, "that'll restore your selfrespect. They're ten
times dirtier and more dilapidated than we are."
"But the carrying trade's the thing," grumbled the scion of the noble house. "Look at those Afghan chaps, neat
and clean, not to say picturesquelooking, they put all us fellows to shame. They make a pot of money out of
the carrying trade."
"Are you thinking of going in for it?" asked Morrison. "Now's your chance. Larl's a very good camel, and the
only thing bad about her is her owner. A pound's worth of golddust will give you a chance."
"My dear chap, why don't you ask me for a chunk of ice from the top of the South Pole, or some little trifle of
that sort? Gold? Bless you, I'm stony. I owe two weeks' tucker at the store, and next week, as far as I can see,
my necessities will compel me to part with my only spare pair of breeches to keep going."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," cried the little Jew again, "make room there, make room there only five tickets
now left. Will any gentleman take the lot and so get a twentieth chance in this magnificent camel, the very
best between here and Coolgardie. Ask my friend, Faiz Mahommed, there, if what I say is not true. He hasn't
one like it among his lot. Have you, now?"
The Afghan, whom Larry had cited as being so superior to the rest of the company, smiled faintly, and the
Jew went on: "Only five more tickets, gentlemen; only five more and the camel will be drawn for. Such a
chance was never before offered to the gentlemen on this camp. The best camel in Western Australia for one
pound. Only five more tickets. Come, gentlemen, let's get the drawing over before midnight."
"The old cheat," whispered Larry, "I've counted one hundred and twenty names, if I've counted one."
"I'll have a go in," said Morrison. "Shall we go shares, Ned, old man, as usual?"
Kirkham nodded, and Allan Morrison elbowed his way up to the counter, and the Jew carefully weighed out a
pound's worth of gold dust and wrote his name on the long list.
"And that's about all the satisfaction we'll get out of it," suggested Kirkham, as he made his way back to his
side, while the Jew went on shouting, exhorting people to come forward and take the four last tickets.
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At last he announced his list full, and added: "The drawing will now take place. Gentlemen, you may now
order drinks; they will be handed you through the kitchen window, while I tear up the paper."
"Read us out the names first," suggested Longlegged Larry, leaning back against the corrugated iron
partition and pushing his hands deeply into the pockets of his last pair of breeches. "It doesn't matter to me
the wink of an eye," he said to Kirkham; "but this thing is beastly dull, and that's bound to make things
lively."
"Yes, read 'em out; read 'em out," came from several parts of the room, and as the Jew did not at once
comply, the tones became more threatening.
"Will you read them out?"
"It'll end in a free fight if there's anything wrong," suggested Kirkham.
"All right," said the Irishman, "anything to break the monotony. I'm just spoiling for a fight."
"Gentlemen," said the man on the brandy boxes, "you see these two pannikins?" Jenkins, the proprietor of the
hotel, jumped on the counter and waved two tin pannikins over his head. "I will now fold up ninetynine
strips of blank paper into little squares, and one piece of paper on which is written, 'Prize,' and put them into
one pannikin, and into the other I will put your names, all folded up, and two of you gentlemen will be
appointed to draw them out first out of the pannikin with the prize, and then out of the one with the
names. Could anything be fairer than that?"
"Read us out the names," growled a man struggling to get inside the doorway.
"Very well, gentlemen, very well; anything to oblige." For the growling of the crowd began to be threatening,
and he began to read slowly: "Ludlow Manners, Snapping Pete "
"That may be on his list now," interrupted Longlegged Larry, "but it wasn't when last I looked at it. It was
headed Lawrence Herman and James Jenkins. I don't think either Herman or Jenkins ought to be in it."
"You're not in it yourself," said the Jew, angrily. "What right have you to interrupt? The other gentlemen are
satisfied."
"Oh, are they?" said a strapping young fellow, springing on to the counter. "Just you hand over that list,
Moses, and we'll manage this little affair ourselves."
But the Jew, very unwisely, if all was right, jumped to his feet and put the paper list behind him, calling
wildly on the people around to protect him from violence.
Most of the men present laughed, and his assailant goodhumouredly took him by the collar of his shirt and
shook him much as a friendly big dog shakes the yapping toy terrier that has been snapping at his heels, just
to warn him that he had better mend his ways.
But the Jew did not look at it in that light. He protested vehemently, his voice rising to a scream; he
gesticulated and clawed with his long, lean hands at his captor's arms, he implored wildly, incoherently the
onlookers to see fair play. But the onlookers were only amused, and one suggested cheerfully
"Hand along the list, now, sonny," and reaching up a brawny fist would have taken it from its owner.
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But Herman was too quick for him. Whether there really was anything wrong with the list, or whether he was
only angry at being interfered with and determined to be revenged, it was impossible to say; but with one
determined effort he wrenched himself from his assailant's grasp, and before any one thoroughly understood
what he was going to do, he was holding the light paper over the chimney of the kerosene lamp. It caught in a
moment, and, regardless of consequences, the little man waved it like a blazing banner over his head.
His triumph was momentary though. With one howl of rage the crowd as one man realised that the only
record of the money, or money's equivalent, a hundred or more of them had paid over to Herman was gone.
Some one behind cried out that it was a put up job, and the next minute the counter was rushed by those
nearest. Down came the brandy boxes that had served as a rostrum, and the Jew was the centre of a swaying
crowd, each man of which was bent upon applying his fist to the unlucky man's nose.
Jenkins, the gentleman who owned the establishment, put his head through the opening that had been referred
to as the kitchen window whence drinks would be handed, and called out
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, it'll be all right. Gentlemen, take things coolly," and then, as the swaying mass on the
counter came close against the wall, a new danger struck him, and he cried earnestly. "Take care of the
lamps."
He might as well have spoken to the wind. The men on the outside pushed hard in an endeavour to get at the
object of their wrath; those inside pushed out because it was getting a little too hot to be pleasant, and the
next sway of the mass brought them right up against the corrugated iron wall, and down came the two lamps
on top of them. Then was confusion worse confounded. There was not, luckily, much oil in the lamps, but
what there was was in flames and was distributed impartially over the people round. The crowd lost its head,
if it had ever possessed one, and with one accord made for the door. Wedged together as they were, they soon
put out their burning clothes. But it was dark now and the men were no longer goodhumoured. They were a
little afraid they might not be safe from fire; many were smarting from burns, and every one now being
bruised and trampled by his neighbour. Some shouted to go this way, some that, and all swore loud and deep.
"I say, old man," said Allan Morrison, "the sooner we're out of this the better."
But it was all very well to wish to get out; to do it was quite another thing, with a mass of surging humanity
pressing round on every side, kicking, fighting, swearing, every man for himself, knowing little, caring less,
how he hurt his neighbour. There was a sharp scream as some Chinaman went down underfoot, and then a
howl of terror and rage.
"Look out, boys; the Chinks are using knives!"
The oaths that went up from the crowd now had a ring of fear in them, for no man likes to be stabbed in the
dark. Morrison and Kirkham stood together, and the Irishman kept close to them, though there was not a very
jubilant ring in his voice as he suggested
"Let's make for the side of the tent, boys, and cut our way out. It's our only chance. The man who's down'll be
trampled to death."
It was easier said than done. The crowd could not make up its mind for more than a second at a time which
way it wanted to move; first it pushed one way and then another, and curses rose loud and deep in the air.
However, Kirkham and Morrison kept together, the Irishman backed them up on one side, and some one else
whose voice Morrison recognized as that of Faiz Mohammed, the Afghan, appeared on the other, and the four
managed to stand their ground and gradually approached the side of the tent. They felt the canvas bulge out
with their weight before any one of them could get space enough to use his knife. Some one was down,
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struggling for dear life behind them, and Kirkham cried out that he was stabbed as he felt a sharp pain in his
leg. Then above the oaths of the crowd they heard the sound of tramping feet outside, and the sound of the
inspector's voice demanding entrance in the Queen's name.
The Irishman, who was leaning against the wall, d d that inspector's eyes cheerfully.
"It's out we're fighting to get ourselves!" he shouted. "There isn't room for so much as a halfgrown flea more
in here. Can't you cut the canvas, you fool, and be d d to you?"
His not very polite hint was taken. A long slit was promptly cut in the wall of Mr Jenkins's Grand Hotel.
Larry was the first man who tumbled through it, right into the arms of the police, who promptly arrested him
for creating a disturbance in a public place, and then the rest of the crowd came tumbling through so fast that
to arrest one would have entailed arresting of the lot. They were quiet enough as the fresh air struck their
faces, and the main object of every one was to get away as quietly as possible. There had been a row
certainly, but each man was sure he was more sinned against than sinning. The real culprits were Jenkins and
the little Jew. Morrison and Kirkham fell out somehow, and it seemed to Kirkham that the majority of the
crowd fell over him. Then at last his cousin dragged him on one side, and the two sat down ruefully to inspect
damages.
"I've lost a lot of blood," said Kirkham, faintly; "my trousers are soaked and my boot's full."
"Well, you are an unlucky beggar," said Morrison. "Hold on, and I'll get the little doctor to look at you."
"I'll go back to Victoria just as soon as ever I'm equal to it," sighed Kirkham, and tumbled off the stone
insensible, just as an Irish policeman came along and arrested the pair "for being concerned in the disturbance
at the Grand Hotel."
CHAPTER XXIII. FIVE YEARS AFTER
A land of hops and poppymingled corn,
Little about it stirring save a brook!
A sleepy land
TENNYSON.
"Phoebe!"
"Well?"
"I want to speak to you."
"Well, then, Lydia, you must come in here. You know well enough I'm busy. I must introduce those three
new Queensland queens tonight, and I want to set those two clucking hens. Mrs Allan has sent me some
purebred Pekin duck eggs."
"Phoebe, you're always fussing over something or other."
"Oh, Lyd, dear, could I have got on if I hadn't? When I came here four years ago you wouldn't believe what a
desolate, miserable sort of place this little house was, and now look at it."
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It was a moonlight night in August, soft and warm for the season of the year, which is generally blustery
down on the south coast, but tonight the moon was at the full, and just the softest of warm north winds stirred
the air. The two young women stood in the garden looking up at the creepercovered little cottage, and the
scent of violets and wallflowers and jonquils and daffodils came wafted to their nostrils. The cheerful
firelight flickered on the curtained windows, and through the open doorway showed the cosy little room
which now was more sittingroom than kitchen. It looked like a home, and a comfortable home too.
Phoebe looked at it quietly and proudly. The ivy geranium that covered all the walls was just coming into
bloom in November it would be one glory of pink and red blossom and the banksia rose that climbed
over the arched porch at the door was putting out a bud here and there. This was her home, and she had made
it herself. She was a proud and happy woman, and the younger sister, with a rushwoven basket of eggs on
her arm, seemed to divine her thoughts.
"Phoebe, you're very proud of your home."
"Well, now, Lydia, wouldn't you be if you were me? If you only knew what a place this was when first I
came here, and you know what it was like when first you saw it, and it had greatly improved in a year's time."
"Nan used to come out and see us and say it was an awful hole, and she didn't know how you managed to put
up with it, and then at other times she used to wish she wasn't married so she could join you."
"Poor Nan!" sighed Phoebe; "I never could have done it if it hadn't been for her and Joe. They were good to
me."
"It's 'Poor Joe!' I think," laughed the younger girl. "Nan's so sweet and goodtempered and charming, and yet
she always manages to lead her poor husband such an awful life. They're not a bit suited to each other, you
know. I don't believe they've got an idea in common."
"They're both awfully fond of the children," said Phoebe, with a sigh. After five years Nancy's unsatisfactory
marriage still continued to trouble her.
"Joe ought to have married you," said Lydia, thoughtfully. "We used to say so when we were children, and I
think so still."
"Oh, no," said Phoebe; "I'm very fond of Joe, and I do appreciate his good qualities. Really I don't believe
I've ever been such great friends with any man, but I wouldn't have liked to marry him. You ought to be in
love with a man to marry him. But Joe's been very good to me. I don't know what I would have done without
him."
"He says it's because you're a clever woman you've succeeded."
"He lent me £50. Clever or not, I couldn't have done anything without that."
"How did you do it, Phoebe?"
"Not by wasting my time as we are doing now. Come along and set this hen. I put a box in the cow byre for
her this morning."
"When did you first begin to succeed, Phoebe?" asked her sister, as they put the hen on her eggs in a box and
covered her over with a sack. "Didn't you ever feel as if it was hopeless?"
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"Oh, often. The first three months I was so lonely and wretched and poor I'd have given up any day if
anything else had offered, but there was nothing else, you know, unless I'd gone home, and I couldn't do
that."
"You'd have been the family drudge," said Lydia. "I always think we were a bit hard on you."
"Poor mother," sighed Phoebe. "It seemed such a shame to leave her."
"It was the right thing," said her younger sister, emphatically. "Look at you now. How many fowls do you
sell a week?"
"Ten pairs," said Phoebe. "You see, I sell regularly to all the principal hotels in the town. I remember the first
pair of ducks I sold to the Western Hotel. I thought my fortune was made, and then I had a fit of the worst
sort of blues when I thought I'd never, never be able to keep up a regular supply. But I found it wasn't so hard,
after all. The great thing is to look after your fowls yourself. And the creamery coming so close was a
godsend to me. Skim milk at twopence for ten gallons, and what could you have better than milk and potatoes
to fatten fowls on? And I only pay sixpence a week to the man for fetching it here. It's all in his way, you
see."
"And the bees?" said Lydia.
"Oh, the bees are my mainstay, of course. It was my first great success when I discovered, after I had
struggled on for seven weary months, that I had thirtytwo hives to start next season with, and yet the season
was so good I took 810 lbs of honey. I sold it at 4d a pound then, I remember, and made £11 clear out of it.
That did cheer me up; I knew I should get on then. I couldn't get that for it now."
"But then you have so many more hives?"
Phoebe laughed happily.
"I've got about ninety now, and if I only get twopence a pound for my honey that means about £25. Really,
Lydia, I was adding up my accounts the other day, and what with bees and poultry and milk and eggs, I make
about £80 a year. I'm going to pay off the last instalment of my debt to Joe next month, and then I shall be
quite clear."
"And you only had an acre of land to start with?"
"That didn't last long. As soon as the creamery started I rented the tenacre paddock from Mr Mackenzie and
went in for a cow, and many anxious nights I spent wondering if I'd ever be able to make the rent. I'm sure
there ought to be grey hairs and wrinkles on my face."
"There aren't, then. You look remarkably well and goodlooking. But, Phoebe, you are a goodlooking
woman, you know; no one would ever take you for thirty. Do you always intend to live like a nun, or do you
ever intend to get married?"
Phoebe blushed in the moonlight. The hens were set now, and Lydia was holding the smoker while her sister
introduced the new queens.
"Marry? I'm not in the least likely to marry. I must be a regular country bumpkin by now, and I'm thirty."
"Well," said Lydia, wonderingly, as Nancy had done four years ago,
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"I don't know how it is, but you really are goodlooking, and I used to think you were ugly when I was a little
girl. Wouldn't you like to be married?"
"There, now that's done we can spend the rest of our evening with quiet minds over your new frock. Lydia,
dear, when I started out on my own account I decided I'd try and not think of the nice things that were
entirely out of my reach, only work for those I could get, and be as glad as possible when I got them. It's a
little hard at first, but on the whole it has answered."
"It's made you goodlooking," said the younger girl, thoughtfully.
"Thank you. Come along in now, like a good girl. What was it you wanted to tell me when you came out?"
"Only," hesitated Lydia, and Phoebe noticed with surprise a hot blush creep up her sister's face, "only that
poor Mrs Simpson is ill again, and I promised, if you didn't mind, to drive her milk to the factory for her
tomorrow."
"Why can't her little boy do it for her?" asked Phoebe.
"Poor little chap, you know he's hurt his knee and the doctor won't let him get up, and the only person to look
after both of them is little Polly, who isn't ten years old yet."
"You seem to know a good deal about the Simpsons," said Phoebe, suspiciously. "I've been here over four
years, and I know less about them than you do in as many weeks."
"Well, of course," hesitated Lydia, "you've always been so busy about your own affairs you haven't had time
to think about your neighbours'."
"Neither will you if you want to get on. Lydia, dear, I'm sorry, but if you join me it means hard work. You
see, we must always keep ahead of our expenditure and have something to put by, because we don't want to
be as poor as this all our lives."
"There's plenty of time."
"Yes, for you, and I do hope you'll have good times yet; but it won't do, Lydia, to mix ourselves up and be too
intimate with the people about."
"Phoebe" Lydia was on the verge of tears, her sister saw with surprise "you're as bad as mother. I was
sure you'd think all that sort of thing rot. I'm sure you've said often enough that it is all foolishness, and that
you didn't want to be any better than other women who sold honey and fowls. You used to say you just hated
the word 'lady.'"
Phoebe's chickens were coming home to roost, and she didn't half like it. It was all very well for her to preach
democratic doctrines; she didn't quite like to see her young sister putting them into practice. She was sure of
herself, but would a young girl like Lydia know where to draw the line?
"I wouldn't like you to get too intimate with the women round," she said, anxiously. "I know all their good
qualities, but, Lydia, you must see for yourself there's a lack of refinement of of . If you want to be
a lady" Phoebe was as severe as her mother "you must not be too intimate with the people about."
"It couldn't do any harm to drive poor Mrs Simpson's milk to the factory," said Lydia, a trifle sullenly.
"Besides, I promised."
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"Promised!" echoed her sister in surprise. "When did you promise? Who on earth did you promise?"
Lydia looked down in confusion and fingered the corner of her apron irresolutely.
"I promised Jack Fletcher," she blurted out at last defiantly.
"Jack Fletcher!" Oh, this was dreadful!
"Come inside, Lydia," said Phoebe quietly, "and we can talk it over."
Lydia laid down her basket on the table, and, drawing a chair up to the table, opened her workbox and began
to sew furiously.
"Really, Phoebe," she said, as she watched her sister pick up the basket she had thrown down and hang it up
against the wall, "it's a great fuss all about nothing. I met Mr Fletcher at the store this afternoon, and he was
speaking about his sister, saying how unlucky it was she was so badly off and so delicate, and he didn't know
how she would get her milk to the factory tomorrow, so of course I said it wouldn't be a bit of trouble for me
to drive it there. I knew you'd done it several times, so I didn't think you'd mind me doing it. Where is the
difference?"
"Why can't Mr Fletcher drive his own sister's milk to the factory?" asked Phoebe, not unnaturally.
"Oh, Phoebe," said Lydia, eagerly, "so he would. He was coming over himself to do it, but it's dreadfully out
of his way, and they're all so busy ploughing on the farm."
"You seem to know a great deal about Mr Fletcher. I didn't even know you knew him."
"I have seen him at the store," said Lydia, uneasily. Phoebe made a mental note that she would order her own
stores for the future. "And I told you how kind he was the day I met the mob of wild cattle and was frightened
to death."
"And so you promised to look after his sister for him?"
"Yes," said Lydia, defiantly.
And that evening Lydia's dress was finished in silence.
Next morning the day broke bright and sunny, but Lydia did not take Mrs Simpson's milk to the factory.
Phoebe hurried through her work, and telling her sister she would do it herself, as she felt responsible to their
mother for her good behaviour, and she was quite sure that mother would not be pleased if she heard of her
driving milk cans to the factory, she went down to the sick woman's, harnessed up her tumbledown cart, and
set off.
It was a bright, warm morning, and the glowing sunshine was rich in its promise of summer. The luscious
grass was kneedeep in the paddocks, the little nameless birds of the bush were twittering in every shrub, the
jackasses were making merry in the trees, and the bold black and white magpies were undisturbedly hunting
for worms in the moist earth close by the road as she passed. But she did not see the glories of the spring this
morning. She could not help thinking of the disappointment on Lydia's face when she told her to make the
butter and feed the sitting hens, and that she Phoebe would see about Mrs Simpson's milk. The
disappointment was so out of all proportion. It couldn't be any pleasure to drive this tumbledown old cart,
even though the morning was perfect. What could it be? And then Lydia's face and voice as she said "Jack
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Fletcher" came up uneasily before her mind's eye. Why should Lydia blush and stammer when she mentioned
one of the farmers of the district, and why, oh why, should she call him by his Christian name in a way that
seemed to intimate a great degree of familiarity between them between Lydia and a working farmer, a
man whom she had always put upon the same level as her first friend, Wilson, who had carted out all her
scanty belongings four years ago, and had been her friend ever since, faithfully fetching and carrying for her
and taking her fowls regularly into town once a week in his empty cart. But she never spoke of him as "Ned
Wilson" in the tone that Lydia had used. This Fletcher, this farmer man, ought to be to Lydia just as the man
she bought stores from to be intimate with him, to call him Jack Fletcher when she spoke of him, what
could she be thinking of? She had thought this sister so very different from Nancy, she had thought she would
not hanker after men and men's society, but would be content with the dull, monotonous round that made up
her own life, brightened by the thought that some day they would have a little money and be quite
independent. She had thought Lydia more like herself; she would never have dared ask her to share her life if
she had not. Nancy had been bad enough, but there had always been a man of some sort dangling after her,
but they had been men of her own rank in life, even if they had been most ineligible; never a man like this
farmer, the brother of the woman who lived down the road, a dirty slattern, with a house like a pigsty. She did
not know this Fletcher man very well herself, but his slatterly relations were enough to stamp him.
"I would not," thought Phoebe indignantly to herself, "have that Mrs Simpson into my house even as a
charwoman."
And it was this woman's brother that Lydia had blushed and bridled about, as if she had found him very
charming. Lydia, plain Lydia, whom she had thought so like herself there was no chance of her marrying, and
so she had brought her here to save her from a dreary life that led to nothing, and here she was "carrying on"
with one of the farmers round. And what was she to say to her mother if anything came of it? This was not a
satisfactory question, and seeking for an answer only made her feel helpless and angry, and she whipped up
the old grey horse into a trot and turned the corner sharply towards the factory, and then saw that another cart
full of milk cans was being driven in her direction by a young man somewhat more smartly got up than the
generality of those who came to the factory at this hour of the morning. She saw a black slouch hat waved
evidently to her, and then caught a glimpse of a large skyblue necktie and an early red carnation in the
buttonhole of his tweed coat, before she realised that this was the man who was troubling her, this was Jack
Fletcher.
And when he came up and saw her face under the sun bonnet instead of the one he had evidently expected, it
was most certain that he was disappointed.
"It's very good of you, Miss Marsden," he said, clumsily, and Phoebe said to herself crossly "State School
twang," "to bring my poor sister's milk. I drove up to see if I can help you."
"No, thank you," said Phoebe, coldly. "I'll just get my cans emptied and drive home; I'm busy this morning."
"Get into line, then," he said. "They're very slow this morning. There's a new manager, and he's short
handed."
There was a goodly array round the factory of carts, buggies, and all manner of vehicles that could by any
possibility be made to hold a shining milk can, and such a motley crew of drivers men, mostly old men
past other work, women and children all chattering goodnaturedly together as they waited their turn.
Butter was up a penny a pound, there had been plenty of rain, the season promised well, and the bright
sunshine added to this put every one, even the tiny children, that their mothers had brought because they were
too small to be left behind, in good spirits. Here all the news of the district was retailed, here all the gossip,
and here, too, all the courting was done. At least the gossips considered the courtship had advanced a great
stage when the young man brought his milk and met the young woman who brought hers early in the
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morning. As a rule men had other and more important duties than driving the milk to the factory, and
Phoebe's heart sank as she noted the significance of the sign.
She waited in silence amidst all the cheerful bustle and chatter, trying to work out what would be the end of it
all, and then an old Irishwoman in a little cart beside her lent over and caught hold of the skirt of her
sunbonnet.
"Ah, begorra, but it's a spoil sport ye are, Miss Marsden! And him coming away from his ploughing at this
time in the mornin', all for the sake of a glimpse of her purty face."
That did not make Phoebe feel any more sweet tempered, and it is to be feared she would not have answered
quite amiably had she been called upon to answer at all, but luckily a small girl child, who had evidently been
sent to the factory with the family milk, drawn in a small gocart by a weed of a pony, seeing the Irish lady
occupied in conversation, took the opportunity to make a sudden dash and get ahead of her in the line. But
however much Mrs O'Grady might like a gossip, she was not going to be done out of her just turn.
"An' me wid all the childer waitin' for me at home," said she. "Out 'av the way, ye little snipe," and she bent
down from her place of vantage in her own cart and lifted the small girl out of hers by the back of her dress,
setting her down, screaming at the top of her voice, on the other side of the line from her own vehicle; then
she proceeded to edge that cart out, and triumphantly took her own place again, while the ousted girl,
sniffling and vowing vengeance between her sobs, had to go back to the end of the line.
Mrs O'Grady was so triumphant she forgot to renew the conversation, and Phoebe was left in peace, till ten
minutes later she found herself slowly driving the old white horse underneath the platform, whence hung a
chain and hook to hitch her cans on to. She was still troubled and anxious about Lydia, and she bungled
somewhat with the chain. Then the voice above startled her. It was a familiar voice with a note of refinement
in it she had not heard for some time, an English voice that told of public school and college training, but it
spoke very impatiently for all that.
"Now then, now then," it said, "my girl, what are you thinking of? I can't possibly haul them up hitched on
that way; it'll never hold. Make haste, now, we're late as it is this morning."
She didn't make haste. In her surprise she dropped the hook and stood upright in her cart, her face turned up
towards the hole in the floor, whence came that familiar voice. Surely she had heard it often enough in the old
days at home. She looked up, and a pair of familiar dark eyes, and a very unfamiliar beard, met her gaze.
Who could it be?
"Now then, do look alive. Do you think I can stop here all day," went on the man above impatiently, and then
suddenly his tone changed, "Why, good Lord, surely it can't be."
"Ned Kirkham!" cried Phoebe. "Impossible!"
CHAPTER XXIV. A NEW PHOEBE
At length I saw a lady within call
Stiller than chisell'd marble, standing there;
A daughter of the gods, divinely tall,
And most divinely fair.
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TENNYSON.
Ned looked down from his vantage point and saw a face, a handsome face he called it, framed in a pink
sunbonnet, dark eyes set rather deeply in the head, dark hair growing low down on the forehead, cheeks
glowing with health, and a large mouth, parted in a welcoming smile, and showing a row of perfect
milkwhite teeth. Phoebe Marsden? Could this handsome woman possibly be Phoebe Marsden, whom he
remembered to have thought plain and kind, but somewhat uninteresting, a sort of amiable elder sister, who
made a nice setting for his dainty little ladylove. And then he thought of Nancy again for the first time for
many a long month, and then looked down at the smiling face below, and knew in a flash that no man was
ever so thoroughly cured as he.
"Miss Marsden," he said in a moment, when he had recovered from his astonishment, "who'd ever have
thought of meeting you here? I "
"I'm very glad to see you indeed," she said cordially. "But, oh, there are such a lot of milk cans waiting
behind me."
"Yes, of course, I mustn't talk now. Hitch yours on; that's right. What did you say? Mrs Simpson?" and there
came into his tones just a faint trace of disappointment, for he had admired the face that had looked up to him
from the shabby cart, and even though a man does not want to marry a goodlooking woman himself, a third
party, in the shape of a husband, is sometimes apt to complicate friendly relations with her.
"Oh, I'm not Mrs Simpson," said Phoebe, smiling as she saw his mistake; "it's Mrs Simpson's milk. That's all.
When will you be done? I'd wait a little, and we could have a chat."
"I'll not be done till after twelve," he said, ruefully, looking at the long line of carts that were still coming. "At
least I haven't been since I've been here."
"Well, come down to my house this evening, when your work is done, will you?" asked Phoebe. "Lydia's
with me, she's grown up now, and we'll be so delighted to see you. It's just opposite the Benger's Flat
schoolhouse. Any one'll show you where that is. Come to tea; we'll put it off till seven to suit you."
"Thank you," he said, gratefully. It was a long time since any lady had asked him to tea, and he laughed when
Phoebe said smilingly she had joined the working classes, and had forgotten what it felt like to have dinner at
night.
"You'll remember," she added, "opposite Benger's Flat State School."
"Miss Marsden?" he asked, with a little emphasis that quite escaped Phoebe.
"Why yes, of course," said she. "Who else should it be?" and she gathered up her reins and drove off, while
he was surprised to find that he was quite pleased to know that this goodlooking, strongminded young
woman in a pink sunbonnet was still unmarried.
It never occurred to Phoebe that Ned Kirkham might be married, not for one moment. In fact she drove back
in the bright sunlight cheerfully happy. All her anxiety had vanished, and she even smiled to herself as she
saw that Jack Fletcher was hanging round apparently trying to screw up his courage to address her. He didn't
bring it up to the sticking point evidently, and she drove on without taking any notice of him. She didn't mind
now if he did admire Lydia, and even if Lydia had been a little taken with him. What matter? Ned Kirkham
was coming to tea, and once Lydia talked on friendly terms with an educated Englishman, she would never
give a second thought to a common farmer like Jack Fletcher. And then Phoebe, being a woman, went a little
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further, and began matchmaking in her own mind. Why not? Lydia was not exactly what you would call
pretty, it was true, but she had a good honest, healthy, happy looking face any man might be pleased to own
for his wife's, and for the rest she was tall and upright and her figure was good. More unlikely things had
happened, and Ned Kirkham had been very fond of Nancy. Why shouldn't he grow to like Lydia? Well, there
was no harm in building castles, and one thing was certain she would have no rivals about here. Poor? Well,
they were all poor. Ned Kirkham would never have taken the position of manager of a butter factory if he
hadn't been poor, but after all there were worse things in the world than being poor. And by the time she
reached home Phoebe was quite jubilant at the thought that she would have them living so close, and had
quite decided on the material and colour of her sister's wedding dress.
She felt so cheerful herself, and had so thoroughly put the ineligible Jack Fletcher in the background, that she
was quite surprised to find that Lydia was very grumpy; and Lydia herself was a little astonished to find her
elder sister in such spirits that they were not even damped by the intelligence that the hen which had been
sitting so well for over three weeks, had deserted her nest within two days of the hatching out of a brood of
young ducks.
"Oh, well, it can't be helped," said she, cheerfully. "Better luck next time. I'll buy an incubator just as soon as
ever I can afford it. I'm sure it would be cheaper in the end. Who do you think I saw, Lydia? You'll never
guess. Ned Kirkham. Just fancy, he's the new manager at the factory, and he's coming to tea."
Lydia did not express herself overjoyed at the news.
"He was one of Nancy's young men, years ago, wasn't he?" she said, indifferently, wondering very much in
her own mind whether her sister had seen Jack Fletcher, and if so whether he had spoken to her and what he
had said, but Phoebe never mentioned the farmer. She wouldn't if she had thought of him, but she never
thought of him.
"I must just go round all the hives," she said, "all the fruit trees in the cottages are coming into blossom; a day
or two of warm weather and they'll all be out. Things are very early this year, and I must see that the bees are
all right. I think they are, but I'd better be sure. And Lydia, we must have a nice tea for Mr Kirkham. Do you
think we can spare a little cream? We might have nice poached eggs, what can be nicer than fresh eggs nicely
poached, and grilled chops there are some chops still, aren't there?"
"Only three," said Lydia, ungraciously; she did not want to entertain Mr Kirkham.
"Oh, three will be enough. We don't want any meat for lunch, do we? And, oh, Lydia, you must make some
nice scones. I want to have a nice tea. Now, where's my veil? I must really go to those bees."
Phoebe's tea was a success. In all her life perhaps before she never remembered to have enjoyed herself more.
It was not only that she was pleased to entertain Ned Kirkham, but he was so pleased to be entertained, so
overjoyed at seeing her again, and so nice and attentive to both the young women that even Lydia's sulky
disappointment gave way before his geniality. But to Phoebe most of his conversation was directed. They had
so much to say to each other, old times to talk over, old reminiscences to discuss. They had not been great
friends in the old days but yet those old days were a great bond. Kirkham was lost in admiration for this
happy looking, independent young woman who received him in her kitchen as it if had been a palace, and yet
contrived to make that same little kitchen so cosy and comfortable; he forgot she and her sister must have
cooked and spread that dainty meal, and when it came to clearing away, he turned to and helped them as if it
were the most natural thing in the world.
"You don't know how delightful all this is to a lonely man like me," he said as, the last cup put away in the
cupboard, they drew their chairs up round the fire. "You should just see the way we lived in Western
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Australia. Really the game isn't worth the candle."
"But you haven't been in Western Australia for a year," said Phoebe. "At least I thought you said so."
"Been tied by the leg in the hospital at Perth for the last thirteen months. That stab I got in my leg was too
much for me. I got it poisoned somehow and it wouldn't heal."
"Poor thing," said Phoebe, sympathetically. "And what ever made you think of coming here?"
"Well, when I did get well, the doctor said I'd better not think of going back to the fields till the hot weather
was over, and though it's a mighty fine thing to own a gold mine worth thousands of pounds, somehow until
that gold is got out I'm very short of cash, so I had to look out for something to do. I tried for something in
my own profession, and got the management of this butter factory just because I was a civil engineer. It
sounds a small thing, doesn't it?"
Phoebe smiled, and Ned Kirkham thought she looked splendid when she smiled.
"It's not a bad place to live in at all," she said. "I've grown very fond of it, and I've lived here four years now.
Every one around is so nice and kind, and then the country is splendid. You don't know how delightful it is to
live in rich country like this. You scratch the soil and things grow beautifully. Of course we're all poor but
no, we're not poor. How can people be poor when there's food in abundance, rich and good and cheap, like it
is here. Now don't laugh at me. I know Lydia thinks I'm a little mad on the charms of the Warrnambool
district, but I've got to know it well and to love it, and now I've got Lydia to keep me company it's delightful
living here."
"Don't you want to see the world?" asked Kirkham, smiling at her enthusiasm. "You remember you used to
be great on the necessity of seeing the world long ago."
"Oh, don't I? But that'll come in time. You see I'm getting on. I started with renting an acre of land, and now I
rent eleven. I've been at it four years, and each year my profits are greater. Oh, I daresay a millionaire with a
gold mine at his back will laugh at my profits; but it takes very little to keep a woman, less in proportion to
keep two women, and already, you see, I've had to take a partner."
"Is Miss Lydia your partner?" asked Kirkham. "How nice for her."
"Nice for me, you mean. I really never was made to live alone. I used to feel so lonely at night. It's all very
well when you're busy in the daytime, but at night, however much you read, you want some one to talk things
over with. When Lydia gets married I shall have to take Nellie, and when she gets married I'm sure I don't
know what I'll do. I'll hope Nancy's little girl will be grown up by then. Lydia, you mustn't get married for a
long time."
Lydia blushed in the most unaccountable manner, and Kirkham said
"Apparently you don't contemplate matrimony on your own account."
"Well, no," said Phoebe, laughing, "that's hardly likely. There's bound to be an old maid in every family, and
I was regularly cut out for the position. I don't mind now, though, that I can earn my own living, and have a
home of my own. It was dreadful when I thought I'd have to be a governess or companion."
"You are a brave woman, Miss Marsden."
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"Why? Because I've set the priorities so dear to the soul of my little world at defiance, and come to be a small
farmer all by myself. I don't think it's done me any harm, do you? and I'm ever so much happier than I was at
home. Last summer Nancy and Lydia kept house for me for a week, and I went home and saw my father and
mother for the first time for three years. Mother was getting over her shocked feelings, and I think felt rather
thankful than otherwise that I had gone my own way, and father was absolutely civil to me. That comes of
being independent."
"I say again you are a brave woman. I must write to old Allan and tell him I've met you. He thinks such a lot
of you. There's no one like Phoebe Marsden."
Phoebe smiled a little. It was curious to think that Allan Morrison thought a lot of her now now that he
had faded away into a vague dream, and Lydia spoke out her thoughts.
"It's all very well to talk like that now," said she, laughing, "but we children used to say you were both of you
gone on Nancy and Phoebe was nowhere."
Kirkham flushed and moved uneasily in his chair, and Phoebe said,
"Oh, Lydia!" in tones that might have belonged to her own mother.
"We were both of us fools in those days," said their guest, recovering himself, a little surprised to find that he
had not only completely got over his love for Phoebe's sister, but that he was devoutly thankful to think she
had not married him; and he thought too with a feeling bordering on the shame of those dreary days out in the
lonely north of Western Australia, when a letter from Nancy Marsden was his heart's desire. And now he was
glad, he was thankful she had treated him as she had. Would he ever dare trust his own feelings again?
Then he stole a glance at Phoebe sitting knitting beside the fire. He could hardly believe it possible that any
woman could have improved so. She was welldressed too. In these days of blouses it is easy for a woman
who has clever fingers to look welldressed at small cost, and Phoebe at last fulfilled her aunt's prophesy and
was a goodlooking woman.
Her skirt was an old, a very old black one that she had had a long time, but by the lamp light it looked all
right; and her blouse was made of rich orange brocade that had once been a ball dress of Nancy's. It never had
suited Nancy, who was wont to revel in much variety of garment now that she could afford it, and when
someone spilled a glass of wine down the front, she packed it off to Phoebe, who made herself a blouse out of
it with many inward misgivings that it was too gorgeous for everyday evening wear. This was a great
occasion, and so she had put it on, and surveying herself in her lookingglass, was very well pleased with the
result. The bright orange suited her dark hair and eyes, and her rich dark glowing complexion. The full
sleeves showed off her shapely hands, and could she but have known how very much her guest was admiring
her appearance, it would have been a delightful sensation to the woman who had been an ugly duckling all
her life.
But she did not know. She only felt that they were spending a delightful evening, that Ned Kirkham's stories
of his experiences and life in Western Australia were most entertaining, and when she went to bed that night
it was with the calm conviction that Lydia must certainly have entirely forgotten all about the undesirable
Jack Fletcher, after spending an evening with so charming a companion as Ned Kirkham.
So convinced was she of this, the next morning when the question arose as to who should take Mrs Simpson's
milk to the factory, she unhesitatingly allowed Lydia to do it. There was so much to be seen to about her little
farm, the hens never behaved so well as when she attended to them herself, and it would be nice for Lydia to
meet Ned Kirkham again in so legitimate a manner. She would have enjoyed having a chat with him again
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herself; but, of course, it was more important for Lydia to meet him. She was more set on the match than ever
now she had so thoroughly renewed her acquaintance with her old friend. And as for her own people, she
knew very well they did not expect much from Lydia. They would be pleased if she married any one at all
decent; if Kirkham's gold mine turned out to be a success it would be a brilliant match, and Phoebe, as she
fed the sitting hens and the young ducks, and chose the young cockerels that were to go into Warrnambool
next day, was contentedly happy in the prospect that lay before her younger sister. Life would be fairly
smooth for these younger ones, none of the difficulties that had lain in her way would lie in theirs. Lydia
would marry Ned Kirkham and be supremely happy, and Nellie would come and live with her till some one
came and married her and Nellie was so pretty, just like Nancy, she need have no anxiety about her future.
Every day she Phoebe was doing a little better, every day made her own future a little more assured,
her own and consequently her sisters', for it was not likely she would allow them to suffer as she had suffered
when she could help it. It rained a little this morning it was not as bright and warm as the morning before
but she went about her work cheerfully, and when Lydia came home she was cheerful too.
"I saw Mr Kirkham," she announced, "and he was so delighted to see me, and said he didn't believe he'd ever
spent such a delightful evening as he did last night. He must have had some dreadful dull times if that pleased
him. And they knock off about twelve on Sunday, so I just asked him to come to dinner and stay all the
afternoon. You don't mind, do you? He's a handy sort of man, and I daresay can help us with anything we
have to do. Do you think he'll be horrified at seeing me milk?"
"I think he'll think you're a nice sensible girl to work so hard," said her sister. "But you needn't milk, Lydia,
I'll do that."
"Perhaps Mr Kirkham will do it for us. Now Phoebe, be sure and give the young man something decent to
eat. It's rather taking him into the family, isn't it? because if he comes to dinner, he'll certainly stay tea, and if
he stays tea it would be sheer waste of time to go home and not spend the evening."
Phoebe laughed.
"I'm sure he's very welcome to stay if he likes. It must be dull work keeping bachelor house by himself up at
the butter factory. And I'm sure that Thompson girl must be a very makeshift sort of a housekeeper."
"Well, we'll ask him here as often as he likes to come, won't we, Phoebe? Oh, I wonder what Nancy would
think of her old lover now. I wonder would she like him better than she does Joe."
"Lydia, you shouldn't say such things even in joke."
"Joke, my dear sister" Lydia was in the wildest spirits "I'm not joking. Nancy used to be very fond of
Mr Kirkham, very fond indeed. Oh yes, we younger girls weren't so innocent but that we could see that. And
then I suppose he was poor and a long way off, and so she took Joe just to get married. Nell and I used to bet
about it; but we always knew she'd marry the richest man. Nancy can't bear to be uncomfortable. I shall write
and tell her all about Mr Kirkham."
"Don't, Lydia, don't. That's all past and gone ages ago. Don't rake it up again. I'm sure Mr Kirkham has quite
forgotten her, and she him, of course."
"I'm not so sure about that last," said Lydia. "Anyhow, she wouldn't like to think he had forgotten her, and
now preferred you, or even me. How could she, how could she?" went on the girl, getting excited. "I'd stick to
the man I loved through thick and thin, no matter what the rest of the world might say."
"Quite right, Lydia," said Phoebe, applauding a noble sentiment under the mistaken idea that Lydia was
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putting Ned Kirkham into the hero's place, and imagining her mother and father objecting to her marrying the
humble manager of a butter factory, whereas it was a very different person that was in Lydia's mind. It was
all very well to make Kirkham a hero Phoebe was doing that herself unconsciously but she would have
thought it a very different matter to put Jack Fletcher in the place.
CHAPTER XXV. GHOSTS
Ghosts! O breathing Beauty
Give my frank word pardon!
What if I somehow, somewhere
Pledged my soul to endless duty
Many a time and oft? Be hard on
Love laid there?
Nay, blame grief that's fickle,
Time that proves a traitor,
Chance, change, all that purpose warps,
Death who spares to thrust the sickle
Laid Love low, through flowers which later
Shroud the corpse!
BROWNING.
And next Sunday Ned Kirkham came to dinner and stayed the rest of the day, as Lydia had prophesied he
would; and he came again in the course of the week, and again on the following Sunday, till before October
came with his sunshine and his roses, Kirkham was the established friend of the little household. It made such
a difference to have a man about the place, as Lydia said to her sister one day. He seemed to know so much
about the ways of the world; he made so many suggestions such helpful suggestions; he broadened the
women's lives altogether, as a man is bound to do who takes an intelligent interest in the women he meets and
does not regard them as created merely for his amusement.
Phoebe wondered how she had ever got on before, and looked back with something of pity for herself to the
dull days when she had neither Kirkham nor Lydia to keep her company.
She never did anything now without consulting both Ned Kirkham and her sister; and if she always leaned
towards the former's opinion, no one but her sister noticed it. They were pleasant days in that early summer
time, when the days were long and bright, and everything went so smoothly and so happily for Phoebe, and
she went so content to bed that often for the first time for four years she forgot her solemn resolution for the
improvement of her mind, and did not read those chapters from the classics that had become a habit with her.
How could she, when life was pleasant and she so happy. There was so much to think of in her everyday life,
she found she paid no attention to the page before her. Suppose she crossed her fowls with Indian game, as
Kirkham had suggested, suppose she went in for growing big table poultry, and bred for export, as he was
urging her to do; if she were to take in that other twenty acres from Mrs Mackenzie, would she ever be able to
make it pay? Ned Kirkham said she would. He seemed to think she was a wonderful manager, and wanted to
lend her the money to stock it, but of course she wouldn't take that; the sale of her honey would give her quite
enough to buy purebred eggs, and that was all she would need. No, she wouldn't have his money, not even
when he was her brotherinlaw. She had taken Joe's without a qualm when she had far less chance of
paying it back; but she wouldn't take Ned Kirkham's. That he would be her brotherinlaw she never for a
moment doubted. He came to the house just as often as he could; there must be some attraction, there couldn't
be any fun in making all the coops and doing all the carpentry about the place during his spare Sunday
afternoons, and discussing her future in so interested a manner unless he cared for Lydia. Of course he came
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to see Lydia, and Lydia in her eldest sister's opinion was just the luckiest girl in the world. She had liked
Kirkham, and sympathised with him when he was engaged to Nancy; but now she told herself she had learnt
to appreciate him at his real worth she thought a great deal more of him now than she did then. He was so
kind, so considerate, so thoughtful, no man had ever taken such an interest in her affairs before, and if he
would do that for his sweetheart's elder sister, what would he not do for his wife? Sometimes when she
wakened in the night and listened to Lydia's regular breathing in the bed opposite, she could find it in her
heart to be jealous of her younger sister. She envied her this great happiness that was coming to her just on
the threshold of her life. There would never be a care for Lydia, she was sure of that, once she was Ned
Kirkham's wife. Why why why had not such happiness come in her way? Why had not some man,
some man like Ned Kirkham, met her and loved her and let her, too, drink of the wine of life? And then she
sat up in bed and sternly told herself that she was very ungrateful, life had held a great deal more for her than
ever she had expected it would, why should she grumble if she did not have everything? She was succeeding,
succeeding beyond her wildest dreams. She might now look forward to being mistress of a big farm; she
would certainly be independent, she might even travel, and she had good, kind friends. Joe Sampson was her
friend, Ned Kirkham was her friend, there was Nancy and Nancy's children, there was Lydia, her staunch
ally, there was Nellie, who would so gladly take Lydia's place when Lydia got married; why should she fret
when she had so much more than ever she had hoped for? And she was independent above all things, she
was independent; it comforted her greatly, that, and she worked harder than ever, and was happy, in spite of
the fact that the one crowning happiness of a woman's life was denied her.
But it would come to Lydia, and Lydia was just wildly happy these summer days; and her sister, looking at
Ned Kirkham, thought it was no wonder. Any woman might be proud of such a sweetheart. She was on such
friendly terms with him too, she never seemed to mind what she said to him; and Phoebe, coming in from her
fowl yard one Sunday afternoon, certain that she would see Kirkham in her little room, was surprised to hear
that Lydia was chaffing him about his old affection for her sister Nancy.
How could she how could she? Phoebe would not have mentioned her name for worlds; but Lydia had no
such scruples.
"I'd like to see the meeting between you two," she said. "Nell and I used to be dreadfully interested long ago,
when you used to come over. You can't think what an interest we took in you."
"That was very kind of you," he murmured, uncomfortably, looking uneasily at Phoebe, who felt very angry
that her sister should have the bad taste to mention such a subject.
"Oh, I don't know, it was all experience for us youngsters. You see Phoeb never had any lovers. She is built
that way, I don't believe she'd know if she did have one. Some one else would have to explain it to her if he
didn't do it himself; but Nan was quite different. Some one was always dangling after her pretty face, and she
expected it of them."
"Did I dangle?" asked Kirkham. "What a fool you must have thought me."
"Did you dangle? Of course you did. Oh, no! Nellie and I didn't think you a fool. We admired you
immensely, and were very much in love with you ourselves. I wonder what you'd think of Nan now as a
matron. She's coming down next week, she and the children."
"She isn't," said Phoebe, unbelieving, for Nancy had got in the habit of spending the month of February in
Warrnambool, and had never been known to come at this season, when she considered the strong winds that
blow in the early summer ruination to her complexion.
"Oh, yes she is! I understood by her last letter she was coming, though you didn't. And here's a postcard Cox"
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Cox was the schoolmaster and postmaster who had succeeded Mr Johnston only the year before "has
just brought over. He said it escaped him somehow last night, and it says, 'I have taken rooms at the "Ozone."
Doctor says little Phoebe wants a thorough change. Coming down on Wednesday." There now. I believe "
But Phoebe was afraid of what Lydia believed, and hastily changed the conversation with some entirely
irrelevant remark that deceived neither of her listeners.
"I'll be glad to see Mrs Sampson again," said Kirkham, looking Phoebe straight in the face, "though your
sister does chaff me unmercifully about my old weakness in that quarter."
For once in her life Phoebe could not honestly say she was glad to see her sister. They were such a happy
little party, and she wondered what influence Nancy would have on them. Of course she would want all
Kirkham's attention, and Nancy was an attractive woman, a woman who had seen a great deal more of the
world than either Phoebe or Lydia. Phoebe had stood no chance beside her in the old days: what chance
would poor Lydia have now? And Nancy would have no scruples. Phoebe felt that. She would not mean to be
unkind, but she could not bear to be cut out, and she would lay herself out to charm her old love, to show him
how much he had lost in losing her, how infinitely superior she was to both her sisters. It troubled Phoebe
greatly. She was surprised herself when she discovered how much it troubled her, and the brightness went out
of that sunny October afternoon for her.
And before the next Sunday had arrived Nancy had joined them, that is to say she left her three children in
Warrnambool under the care of their nurse and spent the greater part of the day with her two sisters.
It was all very well when the weather was fine, then Nancy liked wandering about with Phoebe, watching her
attend to the hens and look after the bees, but if it rained at all or was very windy, she was not quite so
content, and was always inclined to quarrel with her sister because she could not sit over the fire with her.
"My goodness!" said Nancy, poking up the fire viciously just a day or two after her arrival, "that yard is just a
quagmire. Look at my nice clean boots."
"Do be careful, Nan," remonstrated Lydia, "you're spoiling the fire and I have got the dinner to cook. What
can you expect the yard to be like after a pouring wet night like last night. You shouldn't go in to it."
"What on earth does Phoebe go pottering about in it for, then?" asked Nancy, querulously. "Why can't she
come and sit down like a Christian?"
"She's got her living to make," said Lydia, "and mine too. The chicks have to be attended to all the more
because the morning is wet and cold."
"She might wait till it's drier."
"The chicks can't wait," said Lydia, soberly. "It's just attending regularly to little things like that and never
sparing herself that has got Phoebe on."
Nancy surveyed her muddy boots discontentedly.
"It's a beastly life. I can't think how you put up with it."
"It's a lovely life," said Lydia, with fervour. She was elbow deep in a basin of flour and was making scones in
honour of Nancy, but she stopped short and put her floury fingers up to her face because she felt herself
blushing. Nancy tilted back her chair and looked at her steadily.
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"My conscience, young lady," she said, "who is he?"
"Nan! what nonsense you talk!"
"It isn't nonsense," said Nancy, gravely. "I lived in the country myself when I was your age so I know all
about it, and I never saw anything lovely about it."
"Ah, but it wasn't like this," said Lydia, fervently, "you see this is all for our very selves. It all belongs to
ourselves, and you don't feel that you are slaving away as a servant and being looked down on and despised
by all the boys just to save twopence in some indefinite manner, and perhaps never saving it at all."
"Phoebe has infected you with all her absurd notions."
"The notions have turned out very well in Phoebe's case, you must admit."
"She'd have done better to come to me."
"She wouldn't, indeed she wouldn't. You don't understand how happy we are here."
"Who is he? Ned Kirkham? He used to be a susceptible youth in the old days, but that must be nearly six
years ago. Perhaps he's changed."
"You're sure to see him to judge for yourself on Sunday if not before. I thought he would have been here last
night, but I expect you frightened him away."
"I Phoebe tells me he's your admirer, and has implored me not to interfere."
Lydia laughed merrily and showed a row of even white teeth that quite redeemed her face from plainness.
"Phoeb is an old goose," she said, "a blind old bat. Ned Kirkham does not come here to see me. And it really
doesn't matter one bit I'm sure how you behave to him."
"He won't look at me, I suppose you think." And Lydia put her lips together and nodded her head.
Nevertheless Kirkham had thought a good deal about Nancy, and it was her presence that had kept him away.
She had dealt cruelly with him, and he did not care one cent about her, but still he felt the awkwardness of
meeting her. Once it was over he supposed it would be all right, but the difficulty was to get it over. And he
wanted to go down to Benger's Flat badly, he wanted to sit down in the lamplight opposite Phoebe in her
orange brocade blouse, and watch her busy fingers knitting stockings, he wanted to make her raise her dark
eyes and lay her knitting down in her lap and look him straight in the face as she always did when she was
particularly interested in anything he said. Those comfortable, cosy, happy evenings, he missed them terribly;
he wondered if Phoebe missed him, he rather thought not, she was interested in so many things, and she often
left him alone with Lydia, still perhaps she would miss him a little even though she had both Lydia and
Nancy to keep her company. On Sunday, then, he would go. Seven days since he had had a chat with Phoebe,
he would go Nancy or no Nancy, besides perhaps Phoebe would think he was staying away on Nancy's
account, would think he cared for her still, was afraid to meet her. And when he had fully grasped this very
unpleasant idea, he promptly saddled his horse, and, though it was only Saturday evening, rode straight down
to Benger's Flat.
And when he found himself opposite the cottage, though the lights in the window were beckoning him with a
friendly hand, he could not make up his mind to go in. A sudden shyness seized him, not of Nancy, he didn't
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care about her, but of meeting her before her eldest sister. He wanted so much that Phoebe should think well
of him, he wanted to be very sure that she should entirely forget that miserable episode in his life when he
had loved so passionately another woman. No, he could not go in and face them all tonight, and he turned his
horse's head and rode straight back, though he swore at himself for a fool as he did so.
And next day was Sunday, and by halfpast twelve he was opposite the little cottage half hesitating once
more. It was a little early perhaps, he would ride up the road and come back again, so he rode on very slowly,
not on the crown of the road but at the side, and his horse's hoofs made no sound on the thick grass. There
were trees on either side of the road which intercepted his view and hid him from any one in front, but
through the intervening leaves he caught a glimpse of something pink and diagnosed at once a pink
sunbonnet. Phoebe Marsden's pink sunbonnet, perhaps, though what she should be doing down the road he
failed to guess, but it did surprise him to find that his heart was beating unpleasantly fast at the thought of
meeting her here. Why, he had not been as foolish as this for many a long day: he had thought never to be so
foolish again. He did not quicken his pace, but he rode straight on instead of turning when he came to the
corner, and then to his surprise, and for a moment his consternation also, he saw coming down the road a
young woman in a pink sunbonnet with her head uncommonly close to a young man's shoulder, and it
certainly looked as if the young man's arm was around her waist. That was what it looked like, but Kirkham
had not time to make sure, for before almost he had time to think what he should do next, that young woman
drew herself hastily away, and beneath the sunbonnet he saw Lydia Marsden's blushing face. It was an
assignation evidently, there was Jack Fletcher's horse hitched to the rail of the fence close at hand, and there
was Jack Fletcher himself, standing sheepishly by looking as if he didn't know what to do with his hands.
And he, Kirkham, had been fool enough to think it was Phoebe! In his relief and delight he laughed aloud.
"Well, Miss Marsden," he said, dismounting. "How are you, Fletcher?" Neither of them spoke for a moment,
Lydia looked as if she were going to cry, and then Fletcher spoke out.
"Look here," he said, "we must have an end of this. I'm not going fooling round lanes keeping company with
you any longer. I'll just go straight up and tell your sister we're going to be married."
"Oh, dear," said Lydia, half pleased, half frightened. "What do you think she'll say, Mr Kirkham?"
"How do I know, my dear girl?" Kirkham felt quite fatherly. "Give you her blessing probably."
"She might me angry at me not telling before," mused Lydia, "but but " she blushed crimson again,
"there wasn't anything to tell."
"There's plenty now, then," said Fletcher, "and I'll go up and tell it."
"Oh, no, no, please," said Lydia. "I must tell her first, I must really. It wouldn't be kind of me not to. I'll tell
her tonight, and you can come and see her tomorrow morning. That'll be best, won't it, Mr Kirkham?"
Kirkham assented, seeing they both looked at him, and Fletcher, muttering something about its being hard to
be done out of a Sunday, finally allowed himself to be persuaded by Lydia, and stooping gave her a sounding
kiss on the cheek before mounting his horse and riding away.
"Now mind, my girl," he said cheerfully over his shoulder as he rode away, "I'm coming straight up from the
factory to see your sister and tell her all about it. Not a minute longer will I wait."
Lydia watched him down the road, and then as the trees hid him from sight, turned shyly to Kirkham, who
was watching her with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
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"So that's what you do when you go down to comfort the sick and afflicted. I suppose it's Mrs Simpson is the
excuse as usual."
"It is Mrs Simpson. I don't know why you should hint that it isn't. She's got a tiny baby there, and I go down
to wash it and dress it for her. She isn't fit to manage by herself."
"And does Fletcher go down to wash and dress the baby too?"
"How can you be so horrid?" Lydia stamped her foot angrily. "Of course he goes to see his sister. It's only
natural. And if he if I if "
"I quite understand. Am I to tell Miss Marsden how I caught you this morning?"
"If you do " they were walking down the road towards home now, and Kirkham had his horse's reins over
his arm "if you do I'll I'll I'll find a way to pay you out. Be nice now, Mr Kirkham, leave me to tell
Phoebe in my own way. She she will look down on Jack Fletcher, just because he's only a farmer, and his
manners aren't polished. I don't think that matters a bit, do you, as long as I love him and he loves me? That's
the main thing, isn't it? And Phoebe Phoebe you'd have thought Phoebe would have been different
but she will look down on Jack Fletcher, just because he's a common farmer, as if we were any better
ourselves. We're not half as good. We peddle eggs and honey and fowls and milk, and it is hard Phoebe
should look down on my Jack, when I when I loove him so," and Lydia put her handkerchief up to her
face and began to cry.
"Don't don't don't. There's a good girl," said Kirkham, alarmed. "Don't cry. Phoebe'll be as nice as
possible once she understands your heart's set on it."
"I'm sure she ought," said Lydia, suddenly wiping her eyes and looking at her companion mischievously,
"she's just been preaching nothing but the beauty of love matches for the last three months. She's been
dinning into my ears for the last month that there's nothing so good in this world as to marry the man you
really love, and it doesn't matter much really according to her whether you are rich or poor so long as you are
companions and friends."
"So she is really responsible for this?"
"Of course she is," and Lydia, who at bottom was wildly happy in spite of a little natural anxiety lest her
people should not properly appreciate her Jack, began to laugh. "Oh, dear, Phoebe is a blind old bat."
"Why?" asked her companion. He was prepared to take up the cudgels against all comers on Phoebe's behalf.
"Why? Because because what do you think? She's actually got it into her silly old head that you come
here to see me. There now; what do you think of that?"
Kirkham looked at her gravely. The idea was very unpleasant to him; more unpleasant than he cared to own.
He turned it over in his mind for a few moments, and then, looking Lydia gravely in the face, said solemnly
"No, I did not come to see you."
"I knew you didn't," said Lydia; "I never thought such a thing for a moment. Don't look so glum. Phoebe's
one of those very modest sort of people who never think any one could possibly care to talk to her, so she set
my charms down as the attraction that brought you here. I knew better. It might be you came just because it
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was dull, but it certainly wasn't to see me."
"I didn't come because I was dull."
"It doesn't matter much what you came for, it wasn't to see me in the present, or for the hope of seeing Nancy
in the future, only make Phoebe see my engagement in the right light, and "
"And what?"
"Oh, you'll have your reward, whatever you want most. I suppose you've come to dinner as usual?"
"If I may stay," said Kirkham, meekly, and they walked on together in silence.
Ned Kirkham was troubled, much troubled. It grew upon him as he walked down the road by Lydia's side in
silence. He began to think what this meant for him. No, he had certainly not come down to the cottage to see
Lydia, certainly not. Lydia was a nice girl, and he liked her; he doubted not for a moment but that Jack
Fletcher had won a treasure, that he was doing wisely for himself in taking to wife Phoebe Marsden's sister,
but he, Ned Kirkham, had never thought of her in that light before. To him she was well, she was Phoebe
Marsden's sister, that was all. And Phoebe Marsden, what was she? He asked himself the question over and
over again as they neared the cottage. She was well, he hardly dared think what she was. He had always
thought highly of her, and that, after all, is the very best foundation for love, though many a woman does not
think it. And now he loved her, oh yes, he loved her! As he had loved his sister, aye, a thousand times more
so he loved Phoebe Marsden. He had been wild and mad about Nancy, he would never be that about Phoebe,
never; somehow he knew that Phoebe was a better woman than Nancy had ever been, and so his love was a
higher and better thing, an older man's love, but none the less better worth having because of that. Was there
a woman in all the world to compare with Phoebe? he asked himself. And then what did this pearl among
women think of him? She actually thought he said the words over very slowly to himself she
actually thought he came courting her sister Lydia, Lydia, who was a
good girl, but not worthy to tie her elder sister's shoe. So she liked him, just liked
him, while his whole soul was crying out for the love he knew she could give to some man. Was it Allan
Morrison; had it been Allan Morrison all these years? Should he ask Lydia? He looked at her, but no, she was
puzzling out her own affairs. She evidently was not much interested in her sister, and only so much in him as
to be able to laugh at the absurd idea that he should have come down to the little cottage for her sake. And
she had only thought of him as a lover for her sister, that was all. The bitterness of the thought grew upon him
as he walked, till by the time they had reached the wicketgate he had more than half made up his mind to
turn back. He did not say so to Lydia, though. He swung the gate open for her, and as it creaked on its hinges
the door of the house opened, and Phoebe herself stood on the step welcoming him. Phoebe, tall and
handsome and gracious, in a plainly made cream serge dress that hung in straight folds to her feet. It was her
first indulgence to herself, that cream serge dress. She had always, ever since she had begun to take an
interest in her personal appearance, felt sure that a cream serge would suit her, a cream serge with an orange
sash and an orange ribbon at her throat and in her hair, and now that prosperity had fairly dawned upon her
she had treated herself to one, and had put it on this first fine warm Sunday of October. She did not think that
Kirkham would notice her, but still she would like to look nice in his eyes she said to herself, and she put a
little bow of orange ribbon among the dark glossy coils of her hair, because her glass told her it was so
becoming, and now she stood in the doorway, a handsome picture framed in nodding yellow banksia roses
and red ivy geranium, and she looked so unlike the Phoebe of olden days, that even Lydia exclaimed
"My goodness, Phoebe, you are a swell! You've got 'em all on, as Stanley says."
Phoebe coloured up to her eyes; she wondered was she too fine, and wished she had not put that ribbon in her
hair, but the man before her only thought she was a perfect woman, and realised more bitterly that she was
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not for him. Of course not, of course not, this handsome woman with the true, honest dark eyes, who carried
her head as if she had been a princess of the blood royal, of course she was not for him; he had wasted days
and weeks and months courting her sister, he had nearly died of her faithlessness, and he had passed her by;
even now for the last three months he had come regularly to the house, and had so comported himself that she
had judged he had come to see her other sister. Naturally she did not think he was good enough for her, and
oh, she was right enough; where was a man good enough for her?
"Aren't you coming in, Mr Kirkham?" she said, and her eyes softened as she looked at him, though he did not
see it. "We've been expecting you. Nancy wants to renew her old acquaintance, and you see I've been tempted
to put on my best bib and tucker in your honour, and I'm afraid I'm afraid Lyd thinks I've made myself
look ridiculous. One forgets how to dress out here in the country."
"You look lovely," burst out Kirkham, and the colour deepened on Phoebe's face, for she saw something in
his face that told her he meant it. She she, Phoebe Marsden, who had never had a compliment from a man
in her life, to be told in this outspoken way that she looked lovely she, a woman over thirty! Oh, he must
be very much in love with Lydia indeed! And there came a jealous pang welling up in her heart. Why, oh
why could such happiness not have come to her. Then she crushed it down. What a mean woman she must be
who could grudge her sister her happiness.
"Now, you mustn't be turning Phoebe's head," said another voice with a trace of nervousness in it, a laughing
voice he had loved right well in days gone by. "We're all of us growing too old for that sort of thing, Mr
Kirkham."
And then Phoebe was brushed aside, just as in the old days she used to be pushed aside, and Nancy took her
place. The same Nancy, and yet not the same. Nancy, with the freshness of her youth gone, Nancy, with the
golden gleam gone from her hair, with the rounded cheeks a little hollow, with the bright blue eyes a little
faded, with the pretty mouth a trifle fretful, and yet the same Nancy, but the years had not dealt kindly by her.
She was so young a woman, not yet thirty; she had no right to look faded, and yet she did. Where was the
pretty, dainty girl this man had loved so passionately? Here she stood before him, the ghost of her old
welcoming smile on her lips, and behold all her daintiness and prettiness were gone, and the smile was but a
ghost, the veriest ghost, and he had loved her, loved her with all his heart. And this was Nancy, this woman.
He could not smile back at her as the thoughts came rushing through his brain, he only stood still slowly
swinging the gate backwards and forwards, responding to her greeting neither by look nor word.
"Well, Mr Kirkham," said Nancy, pettishly, "you are a nice one. Is this the way you greet an old friend?"
"Don't be a goose," whispered Lydia at his elbow reassuringly. "Never mind if you were in love with her and
have got over it. What does it matter? She's been married for the last five years, and it won't do you any harm
to answer her civilly, even if she did jilt you. You ought to be thankful."
He was, that was just it, and he was ashamed of the feeling; but when Phoebe looked over her sister's
shoulder and said, smiling, "Aren't you coming in, Mr Kirkham?" he let the gate go with a bang that was bad
for its hinges, and walked up to the house, and entering, took his seat among the women and talked to them
like a man in a dream.
CHAPTER XXVI. LYDIA HAS A LOVE AFFAIR OF HER OWN
Why did she love him? Curious fool! be still.
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Is human love the growth of human will?
BYRON.
It was an uncomfortable dinner that midday Sunday's dinner, for not one among the whole four was at ease.
Phoebe was anxious and troubled, she hardly knew why. It had never troubled her before that she had to serve
the dinner in the room it was cooked in, never troubled her that either she or Lydia had to see to everything,
and Kirkham had come to meals with them scores of times in the last three months. It could not be his
presence, and Nancy Nancy came to Warrnambool for a month at least every year, and spent the greater
part of her time with her sister, so it could not be her; why should the two together make an uncomfortable
party. And Lydia would not talk; she was silently puzzling out her own affairs, but Phoebe did not know that,
and Nancy would talk, would talk in the way that had been so fascinating six years ago, and Phoebe
wondered how she could be so silly. Nancy's conversation had never sounded so frivolous in her ears before,
and it made her ashamed, too, to see how she laid herself out to attract their guest, and how he seemed not to
be attracted. She would have joined the conversation if she could, but something tied her tongue. She had one
or two feeble remarks about the chickens or the bees, and to her fancy it seemed Kirkham eagerly responded,
but Nancy waived the topic aside, and made her feel that to talk about bees or chickens was foolish to a man
who must be interested in weightier matters, though Nancy's doings certainly did not seem to interest him
much, neither her travels, nor her pleasures, nor her babies, each of which she tried in turn. He answered
stupidly, "yes," "no," and "indeed," as the case demanded, and relapsed into a troubled silence. Then Phoebe
tried to lead the conversation round to Western Australia, and the unsatisfactory mine at Sunset, and asked
whether there was any news, whether they had succeeded in floating the company yet?
He turned to her cheerful and alert.
"I got a letter from old Allan on Thursday," he said. "I really believe the most of it's taken up with messages
to you. I intended to bring it over. Did I? No, what a fool I am. I'll bring it tomorrow or next day; you really
ought to see it. Allan had just got my letter telling him I'd met you, and he wants to change billets with me. I
believe he's quite wild that I've the good luck to be here."
Phoebe blushed in the most schoolgirl manner, remembering uncomfortably how pleased she would once
have been to hear that, and wondering if Nancy was remembering too.
But Nancy only saw that Kirkham preferred her elder sister to her, and felt this must be remedied as soon as
possible.
"And what about the company?" she asked, in a tone that demanded attention.
"The company," he repeated. "Oh, yes, I suppose it's getting along all right but I don't understand these
things, and I'm beginning to lose interest, and disbelieve. For years I've been hunting a phantom, and even
when I've got the gold I seem to be no nearer wealth."
"But you found hundreds and thousands of pounds' worth of gold, didn't you?" asked Nancy, curiously.
"I found gold, certainly. They were the richest specimens ever I saw, but oh, goldmining is a most
unsatisfactory thing. I'm far better off now with a couple of pounds a week manager of a butter factory."
"But I thought you had a very rich claim," persisted Nancy.
"Well, I'm part owner of one. They say it's rich, but old Allan and I just slaved like niggers for our bare
tucker. I assure you we got very little besides."
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"How was that?"
"Well, food's very dear there, to begin with. When water's a shilling a bucket you can imagine the price other
things run to."
"You didn't often wash, I suppose?"
"Couldn't afford it, though we did own a gold mine. No, I'm inclined to think a mine's a mistake."
"But what's happening now?" persisted Nancy. "I thought you'd have been a rich man before this. It seems a
long while since I heard you'd found gold."
"It is a long while," said Kirkham. "You see, first we thought to work it ourselves, and nearly broke our backs
dollying out the quartz. We paid our way, certainly, but I can't say much more for it. Then we tried to float
the concern in England, and no one would have anything to say to us; then some blackguard took it up in
Melbourne and bolted with the shareholders' money; and when at last we got hold of a decent man, or a
decent man got hold of us, it took us a long while, and cost us a small fortune to get the machinery to such an
outoftheway place, and now it's there "
"Yes, now it's there?" asked Nancy, eagerly.
"We haven't got enough gold to pay for it yet. I'm terribly afraid, and so is Allan, evidently, that the reef is
going to pinch out altogether. We've never come across such rich specimens as we took out the day we
discovered the mine. It gets regularly less the harder we work at it, though at first we counted it far and away
the best mine on the field. Plenty of other men have made their fortunes there."
"Why did you come away?"
"Because of my leg. You see, I'm a little lame still. I was stabbed. They're a rough lot there, Mrs Sampson,
and it didn't heal properly. For about a year I do believe I was trying to get well and couldn't. Then it took a
bad turn, and I had to come away. There was nothing else for it."
"Where did you go to?" asked Nancy, but Kirkham noticed the pitiful look in Phoebe's eyes, though she had
made him tell the tale of his troubles a dozen times over, and must have known it by heart.
"To the hospital at Perth. By Jove! it was a weary time; thirteen solid months of it, and I had a narrow squeak
of losing my leg. However, it's all right now, thank heaven!"
"And I suppose you'll go back when the cool season comes again?"
For a moment Phoebe started. The thought that he might go away again had never occurred to her, and now
that it did she listened with an eagerness that was lost on neither of her sisters for his answer. But to him the
question seemed natural enough.
"I don't think so," he said. "Goldmining never had much charm for me, and a closer acquaintance with it has
not entranced me. There's not a bit of the gambler about me; that's been completely knocked out of me. I only
want a peaceful, quiet life like this," and involuntarily he glanced at Phoebe.
"You were full of making your fortune when you went away," said Nancy. "Farming was too slow for you."
"Ah, I'm a wiser man nowadays," and Nancy winced. "We're getting older, Mrs Sampson, and "
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"And seeing the hollowness of the world."
"Learning how good a place the world may be."
"Oh, don't be a prig. That sounded dreadful."
"Did it? Perhaps it did. But it's true, nevertheless. I never thought I could have spent such a pleasant time, and
be so thoroughly happy as I've been these last three months, and yet see how lowly my position is, and how
little prospect I have of bettering it."
"You've learned contentment from Phoebe," said Lydia suddenly rousing herself from her dreams and taking
part in the conversation.
"Miss Marsden, I have a great deal to thank you for."
"You needn't thank me," said Phoebe, earnestly. "I'm very happy now, but you'd never guess how miserable I
used to be at first. I thought I never could hold out. Oh, dear, it just seems like a bad dream."
"And you are happy now?" asked Kirkham.
"I am very happy now," and she wondered why he did not look quite pleased. And he thought sadly to
himself that she was quite content with her life, and that he counted for nothing in it unless she would be a
little pleased if he would marry her sister. Would she say she was happy when she heard that Lydia intended
to marry Jack Fletcher? Would she let him come and see her once Lydia was gone? would she take any
interest in him whatsoever? did he want her to take any interest in him unless she gave him everything? And
that she would not do. She was perfectly content to lead a single life, perfectly content with her
independence, and he sighed heavily and swore inwardly at the new style of woman, which only showed that
he, like the ordinary man in love, was quite incapable of seeing what was very patent to the other two women.
Lydia smiled at it with sympathy in her heart; besides this should make Phoebe more friendly towards her
Jack, and Nancy was angry. There are some women so built that they cannot give up their old loves. Once a
man has loved them he must not turn his eyes in another direction, and the more Kirkham sought to talk to
Phoebe, the angrier her married sister grew. True, she had been married for the last five years; she had three
babies over in Warrnambool, a husband in Ballarat, but that did not prevent her looking upon Ned Kirkham
as her private property. He had been hers six years ago, he should be hers still. She had loved him as much as
she was capable of loving any man, and if the years had worn that love away, still she could not bear to see
her place taken by the sister whom she had always regarded as singularly unattractive. She did not love
Kirkham now, but most certainly her husband did not fill the place that should have been his in her heart, and
therefore she had room for the admiration of other men, and a flirtation, to which the tender memories that
hang round dead years would have added a keen zest, was just to her mind. She had been so sure of
Kirkham's admiration, so sure that she had only to beckon and he would be on his knees again, that to find
him with eyes and ears for no one but Phoebe, to find that even when she insisted on his talking to her he still
watched her elder sister, was a bitter pill indeed.
So it was an uncomfortable afternoon for all of them, Lydia included, for she could not help going over in her
own mind that uncomfortable interview with Phoebe which must come some time before next morning. And
at last, when five o'clock came, Phoebe rose up rather thankfully, and said she must go and milk the cow.
Nancy looked a little shocked that she should mention the fact that she milked her own cow before Kirkham,
but he jumped up with alacrity, and said reproachfully
"But I thought it was a bargain that I should always do that for you?"
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"Oh, not tonight. We've a visitor to entertain," she said, smiling; "you mustn't neglect her."
Nancy pouted, and looked as if she felt aggrieved at her charms being disregarded in this way, but Kirkham
fairly turned his back on her, and would have gone with Phoebe but that Lydia stopped him.
"Now, Mr Kirkham," she said, and there was a ring of appeal in her voice he could not ignore, "you must let
me milk the cow this evening you really must. No, Phoebe isn't going to run off in her Sunday
gotomeeting gown in that way; she can't milk cows in a cream serge, but she can come down and talk to
me while I do it. I particularly want her; I've got something important to say to her," and there was an anxious
quiver in Lydia's voice that made her sisters look at her wonderingly.
It is rather a trying thing for a girl to tell her own people she is going to be married even when she is quite
sure they will all approve highly. And Lydia was not at all sure of Phoebe's approval, but the result of her
afternoon's cogitations had been the decision to get it over as soon as possible; and if possible, if Phoebe said
anything about it openly, to get Ned Kirkham to speak for her; but the effort to speak naturally, to tell them
she had something to say before them all, sent the blood to her face, and made her tremble all over. Nancy
saw her emotion, and wonderingly chaffed her about it; while Kirkham, who was in the secret, felt such a
thrill of gratitude that she was going to set him right with Phoebe, that he turned quite cheerfully to Nancy,
and said they could really take care of each other for half an hour if these independent young women insisted
upon doing their own work without masculine assistance. He couldn't quite have said how the proclamation
of Lydia's engagement would further his own courtship, but he felt sure it would. And Phoebe, seeing the
pleased look on his face, thought with a sigh, "Oh, yes, of course, it was only natural, he was yielding to the
old fascination."
It did not take Lydia long to put on the clean print she always milked in, and then, with her stool and her
bucket under her arm, she called on Phoebe to join her. The cowbyre was clean and dry, and Phoebe leaned
up against one of the posts and looked over the green grass where the shadows were lengthening in the
evening sunlight. So fair and rich the land lay before her, so bright the evening, there was such a
consciousness of all things done well in her heart, that she could hardly find it in her to be anxious because
Kirkham and Nancy were left alone together, and as for being jealous of Lydia of all the good that was
coming to her well well, how glorious would this evening have been had she but stood in her younger
sister's shoes. But it was mean to be jealous of Lydia mean, worse than mean she would conquer this
feeling and be glad, as glad as she ought to be. Then she looked down at Lydia slowly and thoughtfully
squirting the milk into the bucket, watched her thoughtful, troubled face, with the unwonted flush upon it,
and asked suddenly
"What did you bring me out here for, Lydia? What did you want to say so particularly?"
Lydia stopped and looked stupidly into the bucket full of foaming milk, while the red cow tried to free her
tail from the rope that gently held it against the post.
"Well, Lydia, what is it?"
"Phoebe, oh, Phoebe!" the quiver in her voice was almost a sob
"Phoebe, don't be angry, but but I'm going to be married."
So it had come it had come, and the shadows seemed to envelope all the landscape. All this joy for Lydia,
and she, Phoebe, was alone in the cold as usual. A breath of wind came up and gently fanned her cheek and
blew the ribbon at her neck across her face. Alone in all her life Phoebe Marsden had never felt so utterly
lonely as she did at this moment when her sister was telling her that what she had planned the day she found
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out who the new manager at the butter factory was, was accomplished. It was mean spirited, cruel of her, but
she could not help it, and just for one moment such a wave of passionate jealousy swept across her she could
have cried aloud for the pain of it. Then she crushed it down bravely, stepped forward, and, laying her hand
on her sister's shoulder, stooped and laid her cheek against hers.
"I'm so pleased, dear, so glad," she murmured. "I hope you will be happy; I know you will be happy, the
happiest woman in the world."
Lydia had not expected her news to be received in such fashion, and that and the relief at having got the
telling over brought a sob in her throat. Then the absurd mistake her sister was making flashed across her
mind, and strangled that sob with a burst of laughter, and the result was such an extraordinary sound that the
red cow gently lifted her hind leg as a reminder that she wanted attending to, and kicked over the bucket of
milk. Lydia pushed away her stool and rose to her feet, and Phoebe looked at her wonderingly, neither of
them noticing that the precious milk was trickling away among the sand and stones that made the floor of the
cowbyre.
"Lydia, Lydia," remonstrated Phoebe, "don't do that. What's the matter?"
"You you haven't," gasped Lydia, between laughter and tears, "asked me who the man is."
"Who should he be," said Phoebe. "Why, of course, dear, I don't need to ask. I've seen it coming this long
while. It's Ned Kirkham, who else could it be? Why, you never even see another man."
"Phoebe, I believe you were born blind, you must have been," and the laughter conquered, though the tears
were still in Lydia's eyes. "Ned Kirkham, indeed! He doesn't care that for me," and she snapped her fingers
contemptuously.
Phoebe looked at her dumbfoundered. And then suddenly the sun came out once more, the grass looked green
and bright, in the garden the birds twittered cheerfully their evening hymn, the quacking of the ducks the
other side of the hedge sounded cheerful and contented, and the crowing of her Indian game cock though a
wellmannered rooster has no right to be crowing at five o'clock in the evening had a joyous ring of
triumph in it that she had never noticed before.
What a lovely evening it was! what a perfect evening! What more could any woman desire than to stand and
gaze at the lengthening shadows and the bright sunshine on the rich land, to drink in the breath of the roses
and the woodbine, and that other heavier, sweeter perfume that came from the golden blossoms of the
kangaroo acacia hedge close at hand. It was so good to be alive. Never before had she realised the joy of it,
and in all the broad colony of Victoria for one brief moment there was not a more contented woman than
Phoebe Marsden. She turned away her face, there was something there she would not like her sister to read.
And then came the reaction. What was this she was rejoicing over? Lydia was not going to marry Ned
Kirkham. Then then
"Lydia," she cried, sharply. "Who are you going to marry?"
Lydia hung her head, and then she raised it boldly. Why should she be ashamed of her lover?
"Jack Fletcher, of course. You must have known. Who else would I be likely to marry?"
"Mr. John Fletcher! A common farmer!"
For once Phoebe was her mother's own daughter, and her tones showed the dismay she felt.
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"Of course he's a common farmer, that's what makes it such a rise in the world for me."
"Lydia!"
"Well, it is a rise in the world for me, isn't it? He's a rich farmer and I'm only a farm servant."
"Oh, Lydia!" said Phoebe, hurt; "I did the very best I could for you. It wasn't much, I know, but I thought it
would be better than staying at home."
"So it is," said Lydia, gratefully, "a thousand times better. I'm very grateful, Phoebe, and, you see, I have met
Jack Fletcher."
"But, Lydia, you can't marry him. He isn't in the same rank of life as you. His father was was " Phoebe
hesitated because she didn't know what the paternal Fletcher's calling had been, but Lydia had no hesitation.
"His father was a most respectable pork butcher," she said. "I'm not going to marry his father."
"And your father was a University man!"
"And a very disagreeable one too," snapped Lydia. "What's the good of talking, Phoebe? I'm going to marry
Jack Fletcher. I don't care what his people are. I'm sure mine aren't up to much. Look at Stanley not a
fullblown doctor yet, and I don't believe he ever will be. I shall be better off than ever I was in my life, and
then there's Jack He he Phoebe, you don't know how I love him, or you wouldn't be angry." And
Lydia laid a pleading hand on her sister's arm.
"But Lydia, you don't know him. It's all fancy. You don't know what life will be like with a man of that
class."
"Don't talk in that contemptuous way. Know him? Of course I know him. I never knew any man so well
before."
"But where when "
"When did I meet him? Oh, everywhere. When didn't I meet him? First I met him at the post office, and then
next day at the store when I went to order the flour do you remember? and he walked home with me,
and then wherever I went I met him. And then I got to expect to meet him, and Mrs Simpson was ill, and I
used to take her milk to the factory for about a month, and always he brought his own milk instead of sending
a boy, just for the pleasure of meeting me." And Lydia bridled and blushed with happiness, just as if there
were no such things in this world as social differences to be considered.
"I remember," sighed Phoebe, "I remember. I was afraid at first, and then I forgot. I thought you could never
I thought it would be quite safe."
"It's been a delightful time," sighed Lydia.
"What?" asked her sister, sharply. "You haven't been meeting this man in the lanes and the stores? Lydia, it's
just like a servant. Oh, Lydia! And I thought I thought, even if we were independent and earned our own
living, we could behave like ladies and not let men despise us." And there were tears in Phoebe's voice, she
was so ashamed and shocked.
"They don't despise us," said Lydia, beginning to laugh. "They love us. They want to marry us."
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"Don't," said Phoebe, pleadingly. "Mr Fletcher! Oh, what shall I do? Whatever shall I say to mother?"
"Well, you needn't be so scornful of my poor Jack," said Lydia. "You don't know what a good fellow he is. A
man who is as good to his sister as he has been to poor Mrs Simpson must make a good husband. And what
about Ned Kirkham?"
"Lydia, how can you? Oh, it would have been all right if you'd only married Ned Kirkham. What are you
going to do about Ned Kirkham?"
"What's Ned Kirkham got to do with me?" asked Lydia, laughing outright.
"What does he come here for if he doesn't come to see you?"
"He doesn't come to see me, certainly."
"Nonsense, Lydia! You are throwing away your happiness. You can't look at the other when he is by."
Phoebe looked so distressed and anxious that Lydia walked up to her, put both her hands on her shoulders,
and pushed her down on to the milkingstool.
"My dear old sister, you've been very good to me, so I'll forgive you making rude remarks about my young
man. You'll like him well enough when you get to know him. Now, really, you are the blindest old bat that
ever was seen. Do you do you honestly now think that Ned Kirkham comes here for the sake of my
sweet society?"
"Oh course," said Phoebe, looking up in her face. "What else on earth should he come for? Who else is
there?"
"What about you?"
"Me!" Phoebe blushed to the roots of her hair. "I'm I'm so old I've known him so many years that's
ridiculous."
"He's three or four years older than you, I think, and if he comes to see me, why on earth does he spend so
much time talking to you?"
"I'm your sister," murmured Phoebe, confused and blushing, hardly sure whether too be pleased or vexed at
the turn things were taking.
"Fudge and fiddlesticks! No girl worth her salt would be wooed through her sister, and no man worth his salt
would do it. Phoebe, did you ever have a lover?"
"No," said Phoebe, growing hot all over.
"Then you've got one now, only you don't know it, and for goodness gracious' sake don't go and try and palm
him off on somebody else. And now you have got one you'll understand he's not to be given up for any one or
what any one says. Oh, gracious! just look at the milk. I'll finish milking, and you can go in and give that
unlucky young man a rest from Nancy's frivole."
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CHAPTER XXVII. NANCY DOES NOT QUITE RELISH THE SITUATION
"Ah me! for aught that ever I could read,
Could ever hear of tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth."
SHAKESPEARE.
Phoebe went back to the cottage feeling absurdly happy, but as she thought she ought to be vexed, there was
such a troubled look on her face Nancy noticed it, and asked at once
"Well, what was this desperate secret?"
"Lydia says she's going to be married."
"Bless my soul! Did the man come down the chimney?"
"No, he didn't," said Phoebe, feeling it would be a relief to tell and find out what these two thought of it. "It's
oh, dear! I don't know whatever mother will say it's a Mr Jack Fletcher here, a farmer who lives out
Saidlow way, just the other side of the factory."
"Jack Fletcher!" burst out Nancy, and she began to laugh. "Why, that's the man your valuable friend Mrs
Johnston used to be so keen on, isn't it? Don't I remember hearing her hold forth on his charms? Jack
Fletcher! Oh, my goodness, Well, Phoebe, a pretty pass your precious independence has brought us to. How
will you like having Mrs Simpson for a sisterinlaw?"
"Nancy," said Phoebe in protest, and she looked appealingly at Ned Kirkham.
"Fletcher is a very decent, honest man, I believe, Mrs Sampson. Every one here has a good word for him."
"Oh, yes, decent and honest. I know the sort. Just the character you give to a servant. Not the sort of man one
thinks of marrying."
"She will marry him," said Phoebe. She knew Lydia well enough to be sure of that. "She says she's no better
than he is."
"Well, I suppose she isn't, if you look at it in that light. But whose fault is that? Yours, Phoebe. If it hadn't
been for your wild nonsense about being independent she never would have met him. Why on earth couldn't
you stay at home like an ordinary girl?"
"She's been very happy," protested the culprit, humbly, because she really didn't know what to think about
Lydia, "and I've been very happy too, and it's been a help to them at home to get rid of us, and "
"I would have taken you," said Nancy, "so that's no excuse. There's something wrong about this way you are
living. I've always thought so, and now I'm sure of it. You two young women live alone here without a
chaperon, without a servant even, and you go scraping acquaintance with young men 'walking' with them,
as servants say just like servants. Fancy meeting a young man about the lanes and fields and doing your
courting that way, just like the common people!" And Nancy looked severely virtuous, and Kirkham
wondered if she remembered those many stolen interviews with him in the lanes about Bandara.
Phoebe had apparently forgotten this weak point in Nancy's reasoning, for she looked genuinely distressed
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and as ashamed as if she herself had committed this grave offence against the rules of good society.
"I never thought of such a thing happening when I asked Lydia down here," she said perplexedly. "I have
lived here so long and no nothing I mean "
"You mean nobody's made love to you," said her sister, "You know well enough nobody ever did, so that
doesn't count for much."
It was an unkind speech to make, especially before a man, but Phoebe forgave Nancy on the score of her
natural irritation at Lydia's engagement; only by the hot flush on her face Kirkham saw the taunt had gone
home.
"I was so sure," she said, "that Lydia was just like me."
"She is like you, very," interposed Kirkham, hastily, "and the consequence is the first decent man who comes
across her topples head over ears in love with her, and apparently goes to a great deal of trouble to get the
chance to tell her so."
The flush on Phoebe's face deepened at the implied compliment, but Nancy said scornfully
"Such a man! I'm ashamed of the whole thing. Phoebe never could be got to see, Mr Kirkham, that there are
certain rules of good society which must be complied with, and that any woman who steps outside them is
sure to be looked down upon and held in contempt by any decent men, let alone the women."
"Lydia doesn't seem to have found it so any way," said Kirkham, wondering if he ever had been in love with
this woman, or if it was all a dream.
"No decent man would marry her no man in our own class," said Nancy, in her anger entirely forgetting
poor Phoebe's feelings.
"Phoebe, I must go back. There's the buggy outside been waiting for me ever so long. Come in while I put on
my hat. I want to speak to you."
Lydia came in at that moment, smiling and happy, but Nancy swept past her without speaking, and Lydia
only made a grimace at Kirkham and suggested he should come outside and help feed the chickens, and
inside Nancy gave Phoebe what she called a severe talking to.
"Phoebe, you'll have to give up this sort of life."
"I won't," said Phoebe, flatly.
"Well, I told you before and so did mother and father too, for that matter no decent man will ever look
at you."
"No man ever did," said Phoebe; "we agreed on that subject long ago. So what's the good of me giving up my
life for the good opinion of a very doubtful man?"
"Look at the scrape you've got Lydia into."
"I'm sorry," said Phoebe, sitting down on her little white bed and resting her chin in her hand. "I'm very sorry
indeed. I never would have been on friendly terms with a man of that sort, and so it never occurred to me that
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Lydia would; and then when I began to think she would "
"Yes, well?"
"Ned Kirkham made his appearance, and then I felt quite safe and forgot all about Jack Fletcher, because I
felt sure Lydia would not look at him when the other man was by."
"You made pretty sure of the other man," said Nancy, with a slight contemptuous emphasis on her words.
"He was always here," said Phoebe. "What else could I think?"
"Exactly," said Nancy, who was hot and angry, not exactly about Lydia's illstarred engagement, but at the
way the world in general had treated her this afternoon, and was bound to visit her displeasure on somebody,
"any man would come and make free in a house run on such free and easy principles as this; but marriage,
marriage is quite a different thing. He has never thought of marriage. Did he look a bit cut up or disappointed
when you told him Lydia was going to be married? Not he. He never thought of either of you in that sort of
way. It is not to be expected. It's all very well to spend his spare time here, but marriage is a very different
thing. And let me tell you, Phoebe" Nancy looked grave and severe indeed "when a man will come and
make free in a woman's house, be on such intimate terms as Ned Kirkham is with you and yet never think of
marrying, it's a bad lookout for the woman. He thinks very lightly of her indeed. You don't know what he
thinks," and Nancy paused and looked solemnly at her sister. "You must give up such a life."
Nancy's words were not without weight, for Phoebe was ready to acknowledge to herself that she knew little
enough about the ways of men, and still less about the usages of good society. The latter troubled her little,
but she could not help feeling that she cared a very great deal about the good opinion of at least one man.
That he should think lightly of her was intolerable. However, the day had gone by when she would have
taken Nancy's opinion without question. There might be a modicum of truth in what she said, and the thought
was gall and wormwood to her, but she was not going to acknowledge that to her sister.
"You see what I mean, Phoebe," and Nancy carefully skewered her big hat on with a long bonnet pin, and
arranged her veil daintily in Phoebe's glass, flattering herself in her own mind that the six years that had
passed over her head had left no trace, and she was as fresh and fair as ever.
"I see," said Phoebe, calmly, "but I don't agree with you in the least. You're quite wrong. Mr Kirkham thinks
very highly of both Lydia and me, and it has never occurred to either him or anybody else that we are making
too free with him. I dare say he doesn't want to marry Lydia, I expect I made a mistake there; but that doesn't
say he doesn't like her very much indeed."
"Respects you both, like Joe does my housemaid!"
Nancy was very angry indeed, she thought it was at Phoebe's independent mode of life, and would have been
truly astonished had any one told her that the intimacy between her sister and her discarded lover was
displeasing to her.
"Joe thinks very highly of Ellen," said Phoebe, coolly. "No woman need be ashamed if a man thinks of her
like that."
"Oh, well, if you like to put yourself on a par with the servants," said Nancy, "I wash my hands of the whole
business."
"I think you'd better. Come, Nan, dear," she added, "don't let us quarrel after all these years. If Mr Kirkham
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thinks of me as a servant, I can't help it. If I went back home, I should be a servant in reality in all but name."
But Nancy refused to be won over, and for the first time in her life Phoebe was glad to see her gone. She
came back to her bedroom Kirkham and Lydia had not reappeared and indulged in a few feminine
tears. Suppose this thing that Nancy said was true, suppose Kirkham thought of her and Lydia as he would of
a decent housemaid? To be sure there was no shame in it, nothing to be ashamed of whatever; but but
well, somehow the thought brought the tears into her eyes it might not be the case, of course. Nancy was
not invariably right, but he had seemed to think that Jack Fletcher was not a bad match for Lydia, and his
good word for him, which she had found so comforting when Nancy was present, returned to her now in the
most disquieting manner. Perhaps Nancy was right, and he did look upon such a match as most suitable, and
the very thought brought fresh tears to her eyes. It could not matter to her, she told herself, in the very least
what Ned Kirkham should think of the engagement; and then she cried on, and told herself she was a fool and
ought to be ashamed of herself crying like a baby for nothing. The little farm was doing very well, she was
prospering beyond her highest hopes, and if Lydia had engaged herself to the wrong man, at any rate she
loved him dearly; and had not she herself always preached that love must come before all else, was the very
first requisite for a happy marriage. What was she crying for? She sat up, wiped the hair out of her eyes,
washed her face, and gave her mind to discovering what was making her so miserable. Because Lydia was
going to marry Jack Fletcher? Certainly not. It was not human nature to cry one's eyes out because one's sister
will marry the man she loves, and the man she loves is a most respectable farmer, whose father was a highly
respected pork butcher. No; there was certainly nothing to cry about there, though she might rather dread her
mother on the marriage; but, practically, her mother's opinions made no difference to either her or Lydia. She
must actually be crying because because Lydia had suggested as the most natural thing in the world
that Ned Kirkham came to see her, to do more than see her, to woo her, and just as she was beginning to
realise the full delight of the suggestion, Nancy had dashed it aside, and had made her feel as if this man must
needs look down upon her, must look upon her as Joe himself regarded his housemaid. The hot colour
mounted into her cheeks as she thought of Kirkham, as the full significance of her thoughts came over her.
She was not shocked at Lydia's engagement, she was glad, thankful she poured some water into the basin
and sponged her face she had fancied she wanted to marry Ned Kirkham; she had schooled herself to hope
she would, and what did it all come to? She had been thankful to hear from her own lips that she loved
another man, and then Lydia's words about Ned Kirkham had filled her, for one brief moment, with such a
vision of entrancing delight as took her breath away.
And Nancy with one word had swept this vision aside. It was too much. She hastily gulped down another sob,
as she thought of it. And after all Nancy was not quite fair. He could not despise them. He wouldn't, in any
case, she was sure of that, but at present he had no right. If she was only a farmer in a very small way, he, in
spite of that gold mine, was only manager of a butter factory, and socially there was not a pin to choose
between them. Besides, why was she bothering her head about social distinctions? She had given up such
things when she started for herself. Why should they trouble her now? It was because she came to the
glass now and smoothed back her hair, and she flushed rosy red as she caught sight of her own reflection
it was because she could not hide it from herself any longer, she wondered how she had hidden it so long
there was but one man in the world for her. It was for his footstep she listened, for his praise she worked;
it was the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand, that set her heart dancing and and Lydia had said
he cared, and Nancy had said he scorned.
She heard his footstep in the next room, she heard his laughing voice chaffing Lydia about her engagement,
and she could not muster courage to face them. She was afraid lest the secret she had but now discovered
must be written on her face. Perhaps, possibly she grew hot at the thought she had betrayed herself
long ago, and it was a secret to neither of them. The horrid thought stayed her hand on the door handle, and
she heard Lydia say
"Wherever can that sister of mine be? Phoebe, don't you propose to have any supper tonight?" and she
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pushed open the door and revealed her standing hesitating there.
"Why, Phoebe, whatever is the matter? You haven't been crying, have you? Has Nan been pitching into you?
Poor old Nan," and Phoebe wondered why Lydia should pity her sister.
"Come along in, Phoebe. Now that our rich sister has gone we may be allowed to pursue our humble course
in peace. I've just been pointing out to Mr Kirkham, Phoebe, what highly respectable farmers we are, in case
he didn't know it before."
Lydia was in wild spirits. The relief at having got the announcement over was very apparent, and Kirkham,
too, seemed to share her happiness. Nancy's departure was evidently a relief to him too, and he stole
occasional glances at Phoebe, as if wondering why she did not respond to her sister's sallies. It was
comfortable without Nancy, so homelike; so easy to talk that insensibly she recovered herself and began to
think, as she always did think, that it really didn't matter what the outside world thought as long as they were
happy together. There was that disquieting discovery she had made, though she hardly dared look Kirkham in
the face lest he should read it in her eyes, and suppose he did not care, as Nancy said he did not; or suppose
he did, as Lydia hinted.
It made her flush to think either, and as Kirkham sat and watched her, he could not but see that something
was troubling her. He set it down rightly enough to Nancy's meddling, and was quite surprised to find how
vigorously in his own mind he condemned the narrow views and vapid conversation of the woman he had
only a few years back counted the only woman in the world for him. He had never given a thought to Phoebe
then, and now he watched her all the evening and wondered vaguely what on earth he could do to help her,
and asked himself, with a little anxious sinking at his heart, whether she would ever care enough for him to
look to him for help.
And Lydia chatted on cheerfully and watched them both, and laughed when she thought thankfully that they
were in the same deep waters that she and her Jack had emerged from only this morning. They seemed so old
to her, she remembered them grown up when she was a child, she could not help a slight contempt for them.
Why were they going on like this, making each other miserable, allowing Nancy to make them both so
uncomfortable, when the way lay straight before them? She had given Phoebe a hint. Why could not the old
stupid take it? She would make another effort on their behalf, anyhow, since they seemed so incapable of
helping themselves.
"Phoebe," she said, "what about those duck eggs? I put them in a nice comfortable nest in a barrel, down in
the corner under the lilac bush. Will you set the hen tonight?"
Phoebe glanced down at her pretty dress, dubiously. As a rule she did not shirk her duties, but tonight she felt
very like letting that hen go till a more convenient season. Love had never come to her before, not like this;
and even if it came unrequited, it was an era in her life, and she could not regard it lightly. She didn't feel a
bit like sitting a hen.
"It won't do your dress any harm," went on Lydia, practically. "The nest's as clean as possible, and so's the
Plymouth Rock hen. You've only got to catch her by the wings and carry her down. Mr Kirkham'll do it for
you. Won't you, Mr Kirkham?"
"Of course I will," said Kirkham, cheerfully, rising to his feet, quite oblivious of the fact that up to quite
lately he had cordially detested the business hen.
"Oh, no, I won't trouble you," hesitated Phoebe. "I can do it myself. Men hate hens."
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"Well, let me come and look on then," suggested Kirkham, and they left the room together, while Lydia
performed a wild war dance all by herself in the little kitchen, by way of working off her overwrought
feelings.
CHAPTER XXVIII. THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD
There is no life on earth but being in love!
There are no studies, no delights, no business,
No intercourse or trade of sense or soul
But what is love! I was the laziest creature,
The most unprofitable sign of nothing,
The veriest drone, and slept away my life
Beyond the dormouse, till I was in love.
And now I can outwake the nightingale,
Outwatch an usurer, and outwalk him too;
Stalk like a ghost that haunted 'bout a treasurie,
And all that fancied treasure it is love!
BEN JONSON.
It was a lovely night, soft and warm, and the brilliant moonlight turned the commonplace surroundings of
the little farm into something romantic and not of this world. The lilac was all gone long ago, but the air was
heavy with the scent of the roses that climbed over the garden fence, and beneath their feet as they walked
they crushed the tall grass, and it gave off a scent like newmown hay. It was very commonplace to catch a
hen, but Phoebe did not find it so when Kirkham caught it for her and carried it down to the barrel and stood
and watched while she covered over the barrel with a sack, in case that hen should not be quite pleased with
her new quarters.
Then she rose up and stood beside him, and forgot to thank him for his help. She leaned back a moment
against the rosecovered fence, and looked up at the full moon sailing out in the clear, dark sky.
"What a glorious night!"
She was a perfect woman, thought the man before her, as he looked at her upturned face those dark eyes
were beautiful, that firm mouth and chin; those white even teeth told of strength of will and force of
character, and yet the little tender smile on her lips showed she was a very woman still, a woman to be wooed
and won, a woman well worth the winning. A tender, loving woman. What fairer jewel could any man desire
to place in his household? But was she for him? And he thought of the years he had wasted over her younger
sister, and cursed himself for a fool.
"It is a perfect night," he said. "It's a shame to go in."
"But Lydia?" And the colour deepened on her cheeks, because he had in a manner asked her to stay outside
with him. "And Lydia said and Nancy said "
Kirkham laughed.
"Oh, Lydia's all right. She can only think on one subject. Lydia! And I remember her a longlegged girl, who
was the plague of your life because she wouldn't do her hair. Do you remember? And now she's going to be
married?"
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"Oh, dear," sighed Phoebe. "Whatever am I to do?"
"They haven't left much for you to do except say, 'Bless you, my children.'"
"Oh, Mr Kirkham," said Phoebe, anxiously looking him straight in the face and forgetting her own particular
trouble, "do tell me what you think of it all. They will be so angry at home, and and yet what am I to
do? He is a good fellow, I'm sure of that, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is a good, honest fellow who will make any woman a good husband. She will be quite safe with him,
and if he isn't very polished "
Phoebe groaned.
"He sucks up his gravy with his knife," she said.
Kirkham laughed at her lugubrious face.
"His principles are sound. What's the good of bothering about his manners?"
"And Lydia is very fond of him, and I've always held it's the best thing in the world to marry for love."
"It is indeed," said her companion, fervently.
"But," went on Phoebe, judiciously trying to weigh every word, "would she be in love with him if she had
had a chance of seeing any one better? Would she be in love with him if she waited five years?"
"Probably not," said Kirkham, out of the depth of his own experience.
"Then then isn't it wicked to let her marry this man when she knows so little about him? Put it what
way you will there are social distinctions in the world. They think at home I'm very broad in my views, but I
wouldn't like to marry him. If I succeed in stopping Lydia now, won't she thank me with all her heart five
years hence?"
"Oh, Miss Marsden, don't you want to know too much?"
"Would you like to marry the person you were madly in love with in the days of your youth?" asked Phoebe
in desperation, forgetting for the moment to whom she was speaking, and how very apposite was her
question. Then she remembered, and he saw her face go crimson in the moonlight.
"No, I would not," he said gravely, though his colour too mounted to his forehead. "You must know well
enough," and he laid his hand on her arm and found to his surprise that she was trembling, "that I am more
thankful than words can say that I could not marry the woman I was wild to have five years ago."
"That is to say," and she held up her head and drew her arm away, "there is no such thing as love in the
world."
"That is to say," and Kirkham's voice sank low, almost to a whisper, so earnest was he, "that a man is
sometimes made to realise very bitterly what a blasted idiot he has made of himself."
"You you I don't understand."
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"Don't you?" Kirkham gripped her arm hard now and drew her towards him. "Oh, Phoebe, don't you
understand. Are you going to punish me because I because I loved your sister five years ago?"
"You did love her," whispered Phoebe, but there was a glow of happiness at her heart she could hardly have
explained to herself. What did it all mean? What did it mean? Her heart was beating so wildly it almost
suffocated her, and she was afraid lest he should find it out.
He took his hand off her arm for a moment and held out both his own. Involuntarily she turned towards him,
it was the slightest movement but it told him all he wanted to know, and the next he had her close in his arms.
"My dear, my dear, my darling, I cared for her in a way it is true enough, but not like this, not as I love you.
She would have none of me, thank God. I am older and wiser now, and I've learned I've learned Oh,
Phoebe, Phoebe, won't you love me a little?"
But Phoebe's head was on his shoulder, he whispered the words in her ear, his lips were on hers, and there
was no need of an answer.
And the moon climbed up and up in the clear dark sky, and the evening crept slowly on while those two
leaned up against the garden fence and gave no heed to anything but the love that had come to both of them
after so many years. A flight of wild swans flew overhead crying mournfully on their way south, an owl
across the road hooted at intervals in a most illomened manner, and the Plymouth Rock hen scuffled round
until she got first her head and then her whole body outside the sack that covered the barrel, gave vent to her
feelings in a frightened cackle which should have brought a wellregulated hen mistress to her side, and, as it
failed to rouse Phoebe, took matters into her own hands and scuttled off down the garden where she found a
resting place, after the manner of illconducted hens, on some addled hen eggs which Lydia would have
buried that morning had not her love affairs interfered.
What matter, what matter? Such joy comes but once in a lifetime to a woman. Just for one brief hour let these
two forget all else but their two selves. It had come to them at last, the greatest joy on earth, the joy of loving
and being loved. Would it stand the test of years? Ah, well! They were very sure of that.
"Do you love me?" asked Kirkham, for the twentieth time turning her blushing face up so that he could look
into her dark eyes.
"You know, oh, you know."
"Will you love me always?"
"Always, always."
Then she looked up at him smiling a little though there were tears in her eyes.
"It is I who ought to ask that question," she said. "I never was in love with your cousin."
"And I never loved any one like this, never, never. You'll believe me, won't you, darling?"
Oh, yes, she would believe him; when love comes to a woman like Phoebe Marsden, there is no question in
it, no doubt, no reservations. It was all pure delight to her to stand here in the moonlight, her lover's arms
round her, her head on his shoulder. There was no need of words between them, though it seemed to her that
all her life would hardly be long enough to say to him all she had to say.
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And it was getting so late.
"I ought to go in," said Phoebe, raising her head. "Whatever would Nancy say?"
"A little longer," pleaded Kirkham, "what does it matter what anybody thinks now?"
"And we haven't settled anything about Lydia," sighed Phoebe, contentedly nestling her head a little closer to
his, "I came out specially to consult you about Lydia."
"What can we say when we're doing exactly the same thing ourselves?" and he kissed her hair gently.
Phoebe laughed and sighed.
"Oh dear, oh dear, if she feel, just half what I do I wouldn't dare help the smallest bit to separate them."
And he kissed her hair again.
"You're not helping me at all," she said.
"Darling, you'll have to say, 'Bless you, my children'; I told you so before."
"Oh, if she should change, if she should change and some day see him with my eyes."
"If she marries him," said Kirkham, "she'll never do that. If she doesn't mind these little things that jar on you
now, she won't in her married life."
"And he's a good honest fellow?"
"He's a good honest fellow."
"They will be so shocked at home."
"Especially about the pork butcher. What will they say about us?"
"I don't think they could think much worse of me," Phoebe laughed a little contented laugh. "They'll be quite
delighted to think I'm doing anything so reasonable as as "
"Marrying a poor devil like me."
"What about the gold mine?" She lifted her up her hand and touched his cheek gently.
"Oh, the gold mine? I'm afraid we mustn't count on the gold mine. Darling, you're going to marry the
manager of a butter factory."
"It's a rise in the world for me," said Phoebe, demurely, "I'm the woman that supplies the Western Hotel with
poultry."
"Clearly we can't interfere with Lydia."
Then they both laughed happily, and Lydia's fate was decided as far as the Western District was concerned.
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Lydia was very sure no one had any concern in it except herself, and she was so happy and so wild with
excitement she hardly knew how to pass the evening. If only she had known, she thought, that those two silly
old things were going to spend the whole of the evening over setting a hen, Jack should certainly have spent
the evening with his sweetheart. But at any rate she promised herself good times for the future, and when the
clock hand began to creep up higher she thoughtfully put out some cake and began to make some cocoa.
There was a mischievous smile on her face when at last the other two made their appearance, looking
well, as folks generally do look who have been kissing in the garden.
"Well, you two I hope you've been long enough," said she. "Now, did your hen sit?"
"The hen?" It seemed to Phoebe she had gone out into another world to set that hen, so long ago was it. "Oh,
yes, of course. She's sitting all right. Those Plymouth Rocks always do."
"Well, I'm glad to hear it," said Lydia, "for it really looked to me as if you did not know much about it. Might
one be permitted to ask what you've been doing ever since. Three mortal hours by this clock."
Phoebe's happy face grew rosy red, and she looked down and twisted her dress between her fingers.
"What," asked Kirkham, coming to the rescue, "were you doing this morning when I met you in Byer's
Lane?"
It was Lydia's turn to blush, but she was equal to the occasion. She caught her sister round the waist and
kissed her.
"Phoebe! I'm so glad."
That night, after Kirkham had taken his departure, and the two girls were undressing, Lydia laid down her
hair brush with a sigh and said, "Oh, dear, this has been an exciting day, hasn't it? Phoebe, dear, if any one
had told you years ago that you would marry Ned Kirkham! Why, he was Nancy's lover, wasn't he? Nell and
I used to think you ought to marry Allan Morrison."
"Oh, Lydia!" and Phoebe blushed because she remembered that long ago leaning towards Allan Morrison
when he had given no thought to her. "He was always Nancy's."
"Was he? He'd have suited you. Ned Kirkham's very nice, but you know, Phoebe, dear, you really are
marrying the wrong man."
"Am I? People always do, you know. Plenty of people will tell you you are, Lyd." Then she put her head
down on the pillow and hid her face. "And I'm so happy, so happy, I didn't think there was such happiness
possible in this world. The wrong man indeed! Oh, I hope, I only hope I'll make him as happy as he
deserves."
And Lydia laughed because that side of the question only occurs to an older woman.
CHAPTER XXIX. TOO LATE
We might have been but these are common words,
And yet they make the sum of life's bewailing,
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They are the echoes of those finer chords,
Whose music we deplore when unavailing.
We might have been!
L. E. LANDON.
The mail was due at Sunset. Allan Morrison could hardly have said why he was so anxious for that mail.
There was no one down south cared much about him; only his cousin, Ned Kirkham, wrote to him regularly
because he understood the loneliness of life on a mining camp, and would do all in his power to help his old
mate. His letters were cool and refreshing, there was no drought there, no want of water, only talk of green
fields kneedeep in spring grass, of milk and cream and butter, of evenings and Sundays spent with two
happy, busy women such tales of home and comfort as made the lonely man's heart long with a great
longing for the time when these things should be his. And it would not be long now. He and Sam McAlister,
who had joined him when Kirkham went east, were eagerly looking forward to the first crushing. If it
anything like came up to their expectations he would leave the mine to Sam, be off to the coast by the very
next coach, and to the eastern colonies by the very next steamer. And it would be right this time, he had very
little doubt of it. They had got the reef and it promised splendidly; such a show of gold he had not seen since
that first day, when he and Ned Kirkham had ridden over and Ned had pointed out to him where he had found
a nugget in a "buckreef," and they had gone mad over that first promise of untold wealth. Well, it had been a
long time coming, a long time; there had been more disappointments than he had thought possible, and he
was not a man in the first flush of his youth, who expected to find everything to his hand. But now, now it
was all right, the reef was there, the machinery was there, he could hear from his seat at his hut door the
sound of the heavy stampers as they rose and fell steadily. Soon the first crushing, the first legitimate
crushing at 'Kirkham's Golden Hole' would be over and he would be free to go away for the longlookedfor
rest. Where would he go to? Oh, he had little doubt about that. Of course he would go and see old Ned
running his butter factory, where else should he go? He would lie on the long grass, and let the cool wind
play on his sunburned face, he would watch the cows feed kneedeep in it, the dairy folk coming up with
their carts and buggies and their shining milk cans, the bonny, brightfaced, rosy children, the lighthearted
girls, the happy women with their babies in their arms. How he yearned for it all after the desolation, and the
heat and the dust and the flies, and the disappointment that had been his portion for so many weary months.
But it was almost at an end now. Not another week of it. He looked out across the plain and saw a small red
cloud of dust, which he knew was the incoming mail coach. Should he go down and get his mail first or
should he go and see the result of the crushing? Overhead was the brassy sky, and the wind from the north
was like a breath from a furnace, for it was the month of November, and all the miners were getting
exemptions, and would be free to go eastwards to visit wife and children, or sweetheart, without fear of their
claim being jumped. How he hated it all, red plain and brassy sky, those wretched tents and makeshift houses,
the untidy, desolate, mining camp; the heaps of mullock and the heaps of stone; the poppet heads that were
rising all over the place, the unwashed men in dirty shirts and ragged moleskins; the picturesque Afghans, the
camels that looked as if they had stepped out of Bible history how he hated it all. He would go east to the
cool little town on the south coast of Victoria, nestling there among the soft green hills, where drought and
want and greed of gold were unknown, and see if he too could not find there the peace that had come to Ned
Kirkham. It read like a pretty idyll, the tale of his meeting and his intimacy with the two Marsden girls. What
more could the heart of man desire, thought this lonely man, than to be a trusted friend in such a dainty,
happy little household as Kirkham described in his letters? What more? Well, likely a great deal more, but all
in good time, there was no hurry. He thought of the days when Nancy would have none of him, and smiled to
himself. How much he had loved her! How he had schooled himself to see his cousin win her. It had been
such hard work, and yet what a fool he had been, for behold her elder sister was worth a dozen of her.
Kirkham had discovered that for himself now. He evidently thought a great deal of Phoebe, and of Lydia too.
And Allan Morrison leaned against his rather ricketty doorpost, and watched the red cloud of dust come
closer and closer, and wondered idly would Kirkham marry Lydia? Could he love her when he had loved
Nancy so madly? But that was five years ago, or was it six? Yes, there was nothing I like propinquity.
Kirkham would probably marry Lydia, and they would have plenty of money, if that counted for anything.
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And Phoebe? Fancy Phoebe remaining unmarried all these years, and developing into a fine, handsome,
tenderhearted woman. He thought a great deal about Phoebe, he had always respected her, placed her in a
place apart from other women; in his heart believed in her, hoped great things from her, and behold here was
Ned Kirkham writing to say that Phoebe Marsden had more than fulfilled his old time hopes of her. He
thought of that Sunday afternoon they had walked back from church together, and he had longed to be with
Nancy, and yet could not help seeing how superior was the girl who acknowledged that she always ironed her
sister's dresses for her. She was a good girl, Phoebe Marsden, and she had grown into a splendid woman. Ned
Kirkham seemed to speak of her as something infinitely superior to ordinary womankind, something to be
looked up to and admired. Would this pearl among women look at him?
And there at this hot and blazing noonday, with the north wind covering everything in his rough hut with
red dust, Allan Morrison puffed away at his pipe, and in the curling smoke saw visions of the future that
should be his. He saw it all clearly now. She was worth all a man's love, the best he had to give, and she
should have it. He would go back and woo her as never surely was woman wooed before. He would make
amends for his former blindness. His past had been so dreary, so devoid of home life, of all tenderness and
love. But the future should be that future, that future He could sit here no longer and wait with idle
hands, he would go down to the battery, they must know the result of the crushing now.
And as he stepped out into the hot and dusty roadway, Sam McAlister, rushing along as if the thermometer
had been at freezing, almost carried him off his feet.
"Good Lord, boss, carry me out and bury me! It's ten ounces to the ton if it's a ha'penny! Whoop! Hurroo!"
and Sam McAlister performed a wild war dance round the hut that brought the fryingpan and all the tin
pannikins clattering about his heels. Then, streaming with perspiration, he flung himself upon the stretcher
and contemplated with a satisfied sigh his own dustcovered butcher boots.
"Oh, Lord!" he said, as he drew a grimy hand over a still grimier forehead, "we're millionaires after all. I
suppose you're off east, boss?"
"Yes," said Morrison, rising to his feet and stretching his arms above his head with the air of a man who has
borne much, and now that success has come, looks back, wondering at his own strength. He could not do it
again. He has succeeded, but he could never go through those weary days again. Oh, to lay his wealth at
Phoebe Marsden's feet, to feel the touch of her cool hand, to see the love light in her eyes. He might have
won her years ago, a woman worth winning, a woman worth waiting for, and working for, but he had let the
time pass him by. But now he was free to woo again, he was an older, wiser man, the foolish days of his
youth were gone by, but not, thank God, his capacity for loving. Such a tender, loving husband she shall have
if she will only take him. And why not? Why not?
"You'll be off, boss, pretty soon, I suppose?" said Sam McAlister.
"Tonight, man, tonight," said Morrison, impatiently.
The man on the bed opened his eyes and felt in the pocket of his breeches.
"Here's a letter for you," he said, throwing it at him, "I called for the mails as I passed. Catch."
Morrison caught the thin foreign envelope and saw the address was in Kirkham's hand. What did he say of
Phoebe? And with eager fingers he tore it open.
"Congratulate me, old man," it began. "I'm engaged to the best woman in the world. You always said so, and
I've been finding out all these months how right you were, only you see I know more about it than you do by
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now, for I'm going to marry Phoebe Marsden before Christmas."
"Lucky beggar you are," grumbled Sam McAlister, "I suppose I'll have to stick in this beastly hot hole and
look after things till you get back?"
"You can go if you like, Sam," said Morrison, quietly. "There's no particular hurry about me."
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