Title:   A Dog's Tale

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Author:   Mark Twain

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A Dog's Tale

Mark Twain



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Table of Contents

A Dog's Tale .........................................................................................................................................................1

Mark Twain ..............................................................................................................................................1

CHAPTER I .............................................................................................................................................1

CHAPTER II ............................................................................................................................................2

CHAPTER III..........................................................................................................................................2


A Dog's Tale

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A Dog's Tale

Mark Twain

CHAPTER I 

CHAPTER II 

CHAPTER III  

CHAPTER I

My father was a St. Bernard, my mother was a collie, but I am a Presbyterian. This is what my mother told

me, I do not know these nice distinctions myself. To me they are only fine large words meaning nothing. My

mother had a fondness for such; she liked to say them, and see other dogs look surprised and envious, as

wondering how she got so much education. But, indeed, it was not real education; it was only show: she got

the words by listening in the diningroom and drawingroom when there was company, and by going with

the children to Sundayschool and listening there; and whenever she heard a large word she said it over to

herself many times, and so was able to keep it until there was a dogmatic gathering in the neighborhood, then

she would get it off, and surprise and distress them all, from pocketpup to mastiff, which rewarded her for

all her trouble. If there was a stranger he was nearly sure to be suspicious, and when he got his breath again

he would ask her what it meant. And she always told him. He was never expecting this but thought he would

catch her; so when she told him, he was the one that looked ashamed, whereas he had thought it was going to

be she. The others were always waiting for this, and glad of it and proud of her, for they knew what was

going to happen, because they had had experience. When she told the meaning of a big word they were all so

taken up with admiration that it never occurred to any dog to doubt if it was the right one; and that was

natural, because, for one thing, she answered up so promptly that it seemed like a dictionary speaking, and for

another thing, where could they find out whether it was right or not? for she was the only cultivated dog there

was. By and by, when I was older, she brought home the word Unintellectual, one time, and worked it pretty

hard all the week at different gatherings, making much unhappiness and despondency; and it was at this time

that I noticed that during that week she was asked for the meaning at eight different assemblages, and flashed

out a fresh definition every time, which showed me that she had more presence of mind than culture, though I

said nothing, of course. She had one word which she always kept on hand, and ready, like a lifepreserver, a

kind of emergency word to strap on when she was likely to get washed overboard in a sudden waythat was

the word Synonymous. When she happened to fetch out a long word which had had its day weeks before and

its prepared meanings gone to her dumppile, if there was a stranger there of course it knocked him groggy

for a couple of minutes, then he would come to, and by that time she would be away down wind on another

tack, and not expecting anything; so when he'd hail and ask her to cash in, I (the only dog on the inside of her

game) could see her canvas flicker a moment but only just a momentthen it would belly out taut and

full, and she would say, as calm as a summer's day, "It's synonymous with supererogation," or some godless

long reptile of a word like that, and go placidly about and skim away on the next tack, perfectly comfortable,

you know, and leave that stranger looking profane and embarrassed, and the initiated slatting the floor with

their tails in unison and their faces transfigured with a holy joy.

And it was the same with phrases. She would drag home a whole phrase, if it had a grand sound, and play it

six nights and two matinees, and explain it a new way every timewhich she had to, for all she cared for

was the phrase; she wasn't interested in what it meant, and knew those dogs hadn't wit enough to catch her,

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anyway. Yes, she was a daisy! She got so she wasn't afraid of anything, she had such confidence in the

ignorance of those creatures. She even brought anecdotes that she had heard the family and the dinnerguests

laugh and shout over; and as a rule she got the nub of one chestnut hitched onto another chestnut, where, of

course, it didn't fit and hadn't any point; and when she delivered the nub she fell over and rolled on the floor

and laughed and barked in the most insane way, while I could see that she was wondering to herself why it

didn't seem as funny as it did when she first heard it. But no harm was done; the others rolled and barked too,

privately ashamed of themselves for not seeing the point, and never suspecting that the fault was not with

them and there wasn't any to see.

You can see by these things that she was of a rather vain and frivolous character; still, she had virtues, and

enough to make up, I think. She had a kind heart and gentle ways, and never harbored resentments for

injuries done her, but put them easily out of her mind and forgot them; and she taught her children her kindly

way, and from her we learned also to be brave and prompt in time of danger, and not to run away, but face

the peril that threatened friend or stranger, and help him the best we could without stopping to think what the

cost might be to us. And she taught us not by words only, but by example, and that is the best way and the

surest and the most lasting. Why, the brave things she did, the splendid things! she was just a soldier; and so

modest about itwell, you couldn't help admiring her, and you couldn't help imitating her; not even a King

Charles spaniel could remain entirely despicable in her society. So, as you see, there was more to her than her

education.

CHAPTER II

When I was well grown, at last, I was sold and taken away, and I never saw her again. She was

brokenhearted, and so was I, and we cried; but she comforted me as well as she could, and said we were

sent into this world for a wise and good purpose, and must do our duties without repining, take our life as we

might find it, live it for the best good of others, and never mind about the results; they were not our affair.

She said men who did like this would have a noble and beautiful reward by and by in another world, and

although we animals would not go there, to do well and right without reward would give to our brief lives a

worthiness and dignity which in itself would be a reward. She had gathered these things from time to time

when she had gone to the Sundayschool with the children, and had laid them up in her memory more

carefully than she had done with those other words and phrases; and she had studied them deeply, for her

good and ours. One may see by this that she had a wise and thoughtful head, for all there was so much

lightness and vanity in it.

So we said our farewells, and looked our last upon each other through our tears; and the last thing she

saidkeeping it for the last to make me remember it the better, I thinkwas, "In memory of me, when there

is a time of danger to another do not think of yourself, think of your mother, and do as she would do."

Do you think I could forget that? No.

CHAPTER III

It was such a charming home!my new one; a fine great house, with pictures, and delicate decorations, and

rich furniture, and no gloom anywhere, but all the wilderness of dainty colors lit up with flooding sunshine;

and the spacious grounds around it, and the great gardenoh, greensward, and noble trees, and flowers, no

end! And I was the same as a member of the family; and they loved me, and petted me, and did not give me a

new name, but called me by my old one that was dear to me because my mother had given it me Aileen

Mavourneen. She got it out of a song; and the Grays knew that song, and said it was a beautiful name.


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Mrs. Gray was thirty, and so sweet and so lovely, you cannot imagine it; and Sadie was ten, and just like her

mother, just a darling slender little copy of her, with auburn tails down her back, and short frocks; and the

baby was a year old, and plump and dimpled, and fond of me, and never could get enough of hauling on my

tail, and hugging me, and laughing out its innocent happiness; and Mr. Gray was thirtyeight, and tall and

slender and handsome, a little bald in front, alert, quick in his movements, businesslike, prompt, decided,

unsentimental, and with that kind of trimchiseled face that just seems to glint and sparkle with frosty

intellectuality! He was a renowned scientist. I do not know what the word means, but my mother would know

how to use it and get effects. She would know how to depress a ratterrier with it and make a lapdog look

sorry he came. But that is not the best one; the best one was Laboratory. My mother could organize a Trust on

that one that would skin the taxcollars off the whole herd. The laboratory was not a book, or a picture, or a

place to wash your hands in, as the college president's dog saidno, that is the lavatory; the laboratory is

quite different, and is filled with jars, and bottles, and electrics, and wires, and strange machines; and every

week other scientists came there and sat in the place, and used the machines, and discussed, and made what

they called experiments and discoveries; and often I came, too, and stood around and listened, and tried to

learn, for the sake of my mother, and in loving memory of her, although it was a pain to me, as realizing what

she was losing out of her life and I gaining nothing at all; for try as I might, I was never able to make

anything out of it at all.

Other times I lay on the floor in the mistress's workroom and slept, she gently using me for a footstool,

knowing it pleased me, for it was a caress; other times I spent an hour in the nursery, and got well tousled and

made happy; other times I watched by the crib there, when the baby was asleep and the nurse out for a few

minutes on the baby's affairs; other times I romped and raced through the grounds and the garden with Sadie

till we were tired out, then slumbered on the grass in the shade of a tree while she read her book; other times I

went visiting among the neighbor dogs for there were some most pleasant ones not far away, and one very

handsome and courteous and graceful one, a curlyhaired Irish setter by the name of Robin Adair, who was a

Presbyterian like me, and belonged to the Scotch minister.

The servants in our house were all kind to me and were fond of me, and so, as you see, mine was a pleasant

life. There could not be a happier dog that I was, nor a gratefuller one. I will say this for myself, for it is only

the truth: I tried in all ways to do well and right, and honor my mother's memory and her teachings, and earn

the happiness that had come to me, as best I could.

By and by came my little puppy, and then my cup was full, my happiness was perfect. It was the dearest little

waddling thing, and so smooth and soft and velvety, and had such cunning little awkward paws, and such

affectionate eyes, and such a sweet and innocent face; and it made me so proud to see how the children and

their mother adored it, and fondled it, and exclaimed over every little wonderful thing it did. It did seem to

me that life was just too lovely to

Then came the winter. One day I was standing a watch in the nursery. That is to say, I was asleep on the bed.

The baby was asleep in the crib, which was alongside the bed, on the side next the fireplace. It was the kind

of crib that has a lofty tent over it made of gauzy stuff that you can see through. The nurse was out, and we

two sleepers were alone. A spark from the woodfire was shot out, and it lit on the slope of the tent. I

suppose a quiet interval followed, then a scream from the baby awoke me, and there was that tent flaming up

toward the ceiling! Before I could think, I sprang to the floor in my fright, and in a second was halfway to

the door; but in the next halfsecond my mother's farewell was sounding in my ears, and I was back on the

bed again. I reached my head through the flames and dragged the baby out by the waistband, and tugged it

along, and we fell to the floor together in a cloud of smoke; I snatched a new hold, and dragged the screaming

little creature along and out at the door and around the bend of the hall, and was still tugging away, all excited

and happy and proud, when the master's voice shouted:


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"Begone you cursed beast!" and I jumped to save myself; but he was furiously quick, and chased me up,

striking furiously at me with his cane, I dodging this way and that, in terror, and at last a strong blow fell

upon my left foreleg, which made me shriek and fall, for the moment, helpless; the came went up for another

blow, but never descended, for the nurse's voice rang wildly out, "The nursery's on fire!" and the master

rushed away in that direction, and my other bones were saved.

The pain was cruel, but, no matter, I must not lose any time; he might come back at any moment; so I limped

on three legs to the other end of the hall, where there was a dark little stairway leading up into a garret where

old boxes and such things were kept, as I had heard say, and where people seldom went. I managed to climb

up there, then I searched my way through the dark among the piles of things, and hid in the secretest place I

could find. It was foolish to be afraid there, yet still I was; so afraid that I held in and hardly even whimpered,

though it would have been such a comfort to whimper, because that eases the pain, you know. But I could

lick my leg, and that did some good.

For half an hour there was a commotion downstairs, and shoutings, and rushing footsteps, and then there was

quiet again. Quiet for some minutes, and that was grateful to my spirit, for then my fears began to go down;

and fears are worse than painsoh, much worse. Then came a sound that froze me. They were calling

mecalling me by namehunting for me!

It was muffled by distance, but that could not take the terror out of it, and it was the most dreadful sound to

me that I had ever heard. It went all about, everywhere, down there: along the halls, through all the rooms, in

both stories, and in the basement and the cellar; then outside, and farther and farther awaythen back, and

all about the house again, and I thought it would never, never stop. But at last it did, hours and hours after the

vague twilight of the garret had long ago been blotted out by black darkness.

Then in that blessed stillness my terrors fell little by little away, and I was at peace and slept. It was a good

rest I had, but I woke before the twilight had come again. I was feeling fairly comfortable, and I could think

out a plan now. I made a very good one; which was, to creep down, all the way down the back stairs, and hide

behind the cellar door, and slip out and escape when the iceman came at dawn, while he was inside filling the

refrigerator; then I would hide all day, and start on my journey when night came; my journey towell,

anywhere where they would not know me and betray me to the master. I was feeling almost cheerful now;

then suddenly I thought: Why, what would life be without my puppy!

That was despair. There was no plan for me; I saw that; I must say where I was; stay, and wait, and take what

might comeit was not my affair; that was what life ismy mother had said it. Thenwell, then the

calling began again! All my sorrows came back. I said to myself, the master will never forgive. I did not

know what I had done to make him so bitter and so unforgiving, yet I judged it was something a dog could

not understand, but which was clear to a man and dreadful.

They called and calleddays and nights, it seemed to me. So long that the hunger and thirst near drove me

mad, and I recognized that I was getting very weak. When you are this way you sleep a great deal, and I did.

Once I woke in an awful frightit seemed to me that the calling was right there in the garret! And so it was:

it was Sadie's voice, and she was crying; my name was falling from her lips all broken, poor thing, and I

could not believe my ears for the joy of it when I heard her say:

"Come back to usoh, come back to us, and forgiveit is all so sad without our"

I broke in with SUCH a grateful little yelp, and the next moment Sadie was plunging and stumbling through

the darkness and the lumber and shouting for the family to hear, "She's found, she's found!"


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The days that followedwell, they were wonderful. The mother and Sadie and the servantswhy, they just

seemed to worship me. They couldn't seem to make me a bed that was fine enough; and as for food, they

couldn't be satisfied with anything but game and delicacies that were out of season; and every day the friends

and neighbors flocked in to hear about my heroismthat was the name they called it by, and it means

agriculture. I remember my mother pulling it on a kennel once, and explaining it in that way, but didn't say

what agriculture was, except that it was synonymous with intramural incandescence; and a dozen times a day

Mrs. Gray and Sadie would tell the tale to newcomers, and say I risked my life to say the baby's, and both of

us had burns to prove it, and then the company would pass me around and pet me and exclaim about me, and

you could see the pride in the eyes of Sadie and her mother; and when the people wanted to know what made

me limp, they looked ashamed and changed the subject, and sometimes when people hunted them this way

and that way with questions about it, it looked to me as if they were going to cry.

And this was not all the glory; no, the master's friends came, a whole twenty of the most distinguished

people, and had me in the laboratory, and discussed me as if I was a kind of discovery; and some of them said

it was wonderful in a dumb beast, the finest exhibition of instinct they could call to mind; but the master said,

with vehemence, "It's far above instinct; it's REASON, and many a man, privileged to be saved and go with

you and me to a better world by right of its possession, has less of it that this poor silly quadruped that's

foreordained to perish"; and then he laughed, and said: "Why, look at meI'm a sarcasm! bless you, with all

my grand intelligence, the only think I inferred was that the dog had gone mad and was destroying the child,

whereas but for the beast's intelligenceit's REASON, I tell you!the child would have perished!"

They disputed and disputed, and I was the very center of subject of it all, and I wished my mother could know

that this grand honor had come to me; it would have made her proud.

Then they discussed optics, as they called it, and whether a certain injury to the brain would produce

blindness or not, but they could not agree about it, and said they must test it by experiment by and by; and

next they discussed plants, and that interested me, because in the summer Sadie and I had planted seedsI

helped her dig the holes, you knowand after days and days a little shrub or a flower came up there, and it

was a wonder how that could happen; but it did, and I wished I could talkI would have told those people

about it and shown then how much I knew, and been all alive with the subject; but I didn't care for the optics;

it was dull, and when the came back to it again it bored me, and I went to sleep.

Pretty soon it was spring, and sunny and pleasant and lovely, and the sweet mother and the children patted me

and the puppy goodby, and went away on a journey and a visit to their kin, and the master wasn't any

company for us, but we played together and had good times, and the servants were kind and friendly, so we

got along quite happily and counted the days and waited for the family.

And one day those men came again, and said, now for the test, and they took the puppy to the laboratory, and

I limped threeleggedly along, too, feeling proud, for any attention shown to the puppy was a pleasure to me,

of course. They discussed and experimented, and then suddenly the puppy shrieked, and they set him on the

floor, and he went staggering around, with his head all bloody, and the master clapped his hands and shouted:

"There, I've wonconfess it! He's a blind as a bat!"

And they all said:

"It's soyou've proved your theory, and suffering humanity owes you a great debt from henceforth," and

they crowded around him, and wrung his hand cordially and thankfully, and praised him.

But I hardly saw or heard these things, for I ran at once to my little darling, and snuggled close to it where it

lay, and licked the blood, and it put its head against mine, whimpering softly, and I knew in my heart it was a


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comfort to it in its pain and trouble to feel its mother's touch, though it could not see me. Then it dropped

down, presently, and its little velvet nose rested upon the floor, and it was still, and did not move any more.

Soon the master stopped discussing a moment, and rang in the footman, and said, "Bury it in the far corner of

the garden," and then went on with the discussion, and I trotted after the footman, very happy and grateful,

for I knew the puppy was out of its pain now, because it was asleep. We went far down the garden to the

farthest end, where the children and the nurse and the puppy and I used to play in the summer in the shade of

a great elm, and there the footman dug a hole, and I saw he was going to plant the puppy, and I was glad,

because it would grow and come up a fine handsome dog, like Robin Adair, and be a beautiful surprise for

the family when they came home; so I tried to help him dig, but my lame leg was no good, being stiff, you

know, and you have to have two, or it is no use. When the footman had finished and covered little Robin up,

he patted my head, and there were tears in his eyes, and he said: "Poor little doggie, you saved HIS child!"

I have watched two whole weeks, and he doesn't come up! This last week a fright has been stealing upon me.

I think there is something terrible about this. I do not know what it is, but the fear makes me sick, and I

cannot eat, though the servants bring me the best of food; and they pet me so, and even come in the night, and

cry, and say, "Poor doggiedo give it up and come home; don't break our hearts!" and all this terrifies me

the more, and makes me sure something has happened. And I am so weak; since yesterday I cannot stand on

my feet anymore. And within this hour the servants, looking toward the sun where it was sinking out of sight

and the night chill coming on, said things I could not understand, but they carried something cold to my heart.

"Those poor creatures! They do not suspect. They will come home in the morning, and eagerly ask for the

little doggie that did the brave deed, and who of us will be strong enough to say the truth to them: 'The

humble little friend is gone where go the beasts that perish.'"


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1. Table of Contents, page = 3

2. A Dog's Tale, page = 4

   3. Mark Twain, page = 4

   4. CHAPTER I, page = 4

   5. CHAPTER II, page = 5

   6. CHAPTER III, page = 5