The Stolen White Elephant................................................................................................................................1

Mark Twain ..............................................................................................................................................1

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The Stolen White Elephant

Mark Twain

[Left out of A Tramp Abroad, because it was feared that some of the

particulars had been exaggerated, and that others were not true. Before

these suspicions had been proven groundless, the book had gone to press.

M.T.]

The following curious history was related to me by a chance railway acquaintance. He was a gentleman more

than seventy years of age, and his thoroughly good and gentle face and earnest and sincere manner imprinted

the unmistakable stamp of truth upon every statement which fell from his lips. He said:

You know in what reverence the royal white elephant of Siam is held by the people of that country. You

know it is sacred to kings, only kings may possess it, and that it is, indeed, in a measure even superior to

kings, since it receives not merely honor but worship. Very well; five years ago, when the troubles

concerning the frontier line arose between Great Britain and Siam, it was presently manifest that Siam had

been in the wrong. Therefore every reparation was quickly made, and the British representative stated that he

was satisfied and the past should be forgotten. This greatly relieved the King of Siam, and partly as a token of

gratitude, partly also, perhaps, to wipe out any little remaining vestige of unpleasantness which England

might feel toward him, he wished to send the Queen a presentthe sole sure way of propitiating an enemy,

according to Oriental ideas. This present ought not only to be a royal one, but transcendently royal.

Wherefore, what offering could be so meet as that of a white elephant? My position in the Indian civil service

was such that I was deemed peculiarly worthy of the honor of conveying the present to her Majesty. A ship

was fitted out for me and my servants and the officers and attendants of the elephant, and in due time I

arrived in New York harbor and placed my royal charge in admirable quarters in Jersey City. It was necessary

to remain awhile in order to recruit, the animal's health before resuming the voyage.

All went well during a fortnightthen my calamities began. The white elephant was stolen! I was called up

at dead of night and informed of this fearful misfortune. For some moments I was beside myself with terror

and anxiety; I was helpless. Then I grew calmer and collected my faculties. I soon saw my coursefor,

indeed, there was but the one; course for an intelligent man to pursue. Late as it was, I flew to New York and

got a policeman to conduct me to the headquarters of the detective force. Fortunately I arrived in time, though

the chief of the force, the celebrated Inspector Blunt was just on the point of leaving for his home. He was a

man of middle size and compact frame, and when he was thinking deeply he had a way of kniting his brows

and tapping his forehead reflectively with his finger, which impressed you at once with the conviction that

you stood in the presence of a person of no common order. The very sight of him gave me confidence and

made me hopeful. I stated my errand. It did not flurry him in the least; it had no more visible effect upon his

iron selfpossession than if I had told him somebody had stolen my dog. He motioned me to a seat, and said,

calmly:

"Allow me to think a moment, please."

So saying, he sat down at his office table and leaned his head upon his hand. Several clerks were at work at

the other end of the room; the scratching of their pens was all the sound I heard during the next six or seven

minutes. Meantime the inspector sat there, buried in thought. Finally he raised his head, and there was that in

the firm lines of his face which showed me that his brain had done its work and his plan was made. Said

heand his voice was low and impressive:

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"This is no ordinary case. Every step must be warily taken; each step must be made sure before the next is

ventured. And secrecy must be observedsecrecy profound and absolute. Speak to no one about the matter,

not even the reporters. I will take care of them; I will see that they get only what it may suit my ends to let

them know." He touched a bell; a youth appeared. "Alaric, tell the reporters to remain for the present." The

boy retired. "Now let us proceed to businessand systematically. Nothing can be accomplished in this trade

of mine without strict and minute method."

He took a pen and some paper. "Nowname of the elephant?"

"Hassan Ben Ali Ben Selim Abdallah Mohammed Moist Alhammal Jamsetjejeebhoy Dhuleep Sultan Ebu

Bhudpoor."

"Very well. Given name?"

"Jumbo."

"Very well. Place of birth?"

"The capital city of Siam."

"Parents living?"

"Nodead."

"Had they any other issue besides this one?"

"None. He was an only child."

"Very well. These matters are sufficient under that head. Now please describe the elephant, and leave out no

particular, however insignificantthat is, insignificant from your point of view. To me in my profession

there are no insignificant particulars; they do not exist."

I described he wrote. When I was done, he said:

"Now listen. If I have made any mistakes, correct me."

He read as follows:

"Height, 19 feet; length from apex of forehead insertion of tail, 26 feet; length of trunk, 16 feet; length of tail,

6 feet; total length, including trunk, and tail, 48 feet; length of tusks, 9 Ť feet; ears keeping with these

dimensions; footprint resembles the mark left when one upends a barrel in the snow; the color of the

elephant, a dull white; has a hole the size of a plate in each ear for the insertion of jewelry and possesses the

habit in a remarkable degree of squirting water upon spectators and of maltreating with his trunk not only

such persons as he is acquainted with, but even entire strangers; limps slightly with his right hind leg, and has

a small scar in his left armpit caused by a former boil; had on, when stolen, a castle containing seats for

fifteen persons, and a goldcloth saddleblanket the size of an ordinary carpet."

There were no mistakes. The inspector touched the bell, handed the description to Alaric, and said:

"Have fifty thousand copies of this printed at once and mailed to every detective office and pawnbroker's

shop on the continent." Alaric retired. "Thereso far, so good. Next, I must have a photograph of the

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property."

I gave him one. He examined it critically, and said:

"It must do, since we can do no better; but he has his trunk curled up and tucked into his mouth. That is

unfortunate, and is calculated to mislead, for of course he does not usually have it in that position." He

touched his bell.

"Alaric, have fifty thousand copies of this photograph made the first thing in the morning, and mail them with

the descriptive circulars."

Alaric retired to execute his orders. The inspector said:

"It will be necessary to offer a reward, of course. Now as to the amount?"

"What sum would you suggest?"

"To begin with, I should saywell, twentyfive thousand dollars. It is an intricate and difficult business;

there are a thousand avenues of escape and opportunities of concealment. These thieves have friends and pals

everywhere"

"Bless me, do you know who they are?"

The wary face, practised in concealing the thoughts and feelings within, gave me no token, nor yet the

replying words, so quietly uttered:

"Never mind about that. I may, and I may not. We generally gather a pretty shrewd inkling of who our man is

by the manner of his work and the size of the game he goes after. We are not dealing with a pickpocket or a

hall thief now, make up your mind to that. This property was not 'lifted' by a novice. But, as I was saying,

considering the amount of travel which will have to be done, and the diligence with which the thieves will

cover up their traces as they move along, twentyfive thousand may be too small a sum to offer, yet I think it

worth while to start with that."

So we determined upon that figure as a beginning. Then this man, whom nothing escaped which could by any

possibility be made to serve as a clue, said:

"There are cases in detective history to show that criminals have been detected through peculiarities, in their

appetites. Now, what does this elephant eat, and how much?"

"Well, as to what he eatshe will eat anything. He will eat a man, he will eat a Biblehe will eat anything

between a man and a Bible."

"Good very good, indeed, but too general. Details are necessarydetails are the only valuable things in our

trade. Very wellas to men. At one mealor, if you prefer, during one dayhow man men will he eat, if

fresh?"

"He would not care whether they were fresh or not; at a single meal he would eat five ordinary men.

"Very good; five men; we will put that down. What nationalities would he prefer?"

"He is indifferent about nationalities. He prefers acquaintances, but is not prejudiced against strangers."

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"Very good. Now, as to Bibles. How many Bibles would he eat at a meal?"

"He would eat an entire edition."

"It is hardly succinct enough. Do you mean the ordinary octavo, or the family illustrated?"

"I think he would be indifferent to illustrations that is, I think he would not value illustrations above simple

letterpress."

"No, you do not get my idea. I refer to bulk. The ordinary octavo Bible weighs about two pound; and a half,

while the great quarto with the illustrations weighs ten or twelve. How many Dore Bibles would he eat at a

meal?"

"If you knew this elephant, you could not ask. He would take what they had."

"Well, put it in dollars and cents, then. We must get at it somehow. The Dore costs a hundred dollars a copy,

Russia leather, beveled."

"He would require about fifty thousand dollars worthsay an edition of five hundred copies."

"Now that is more exact. I will put that down. Very well; he likes men and Bibles; so far, so good. What else

will he eat? I want particulars."

"He will leave Bibles to eat bricks, he will leave bricks to eat bottles, he will leave bottles to eat clothing, he

will leave clothing to eat cats, he will leave cats to eat oysters, he will leave oysters to eat ham, he will leave

ham to eat sugar, he will leave sugar to eat pie, he will leave pie to eat potatoes, he will leave potatoes to eat

bran; he will leave bran to eat hay, he will leave hay to eat oats, he will leave oats to eat rice, for he was

mainly raised on it. There is nothing whatever that he will not eat but European butter, and he would eat that

if he could taste it."

"Very good. General quantity at a mealsay about"

"Well, anywhere from a quarter to half a ton."

"And he drinks"

"Everything that is fluid. Milk, water, whisky, molasses, castor oil, camphene, carbolic acidit is no use to

go into particulars; whatever fluid occurs to you set it down. He will drink anything that is fluid, except

European coffee."

"Very good. As to quantity?"

"Put it down five to fifteen barrelshis thirst varies; his other appetites do not."

"These things are unusual. They ought to furnish quite good clues toward tracing him."

He touched the bell.

"Alaric; summon Captain Burns."

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Burns appeared. Inspector Blunt unfolded the whole matter to him, detail by detail. Then he said in the clear,

decisive tones of a man whose plans are clearly defined in his head and who is accustomed to command:

"Captain Burns, detail Detectives Jones, Davis, Halsey, Bates, and Hackett to shadow the elephant."

"Yes, sir."

"Detail Detectives Moses, Dakin, Murphy, Rogers, Tupper, Higgins, and Bartholomew to shadow the

thieves."

"Yes, sir."

"Place a strong guardA guard of thirty picked men, with a relief of thirtyover the place from whence the

elephant was stolen, to keep strict watch there night and day, and allow none to approachexcept

reporterswithout written authority from me."

"Yes, sir."

"Place detectives in plain clothes in the railway; steamship, and ferry depots, and upon all roadways leading

out of Jersey City, with orders to search all suspicious persons."

"Yes, sir."

"Furnish all these men with photograph and accompanying description of the elephant, and instruct them to

search all trains and outgoing ferryboats and other vessels."

"Yes, sir."

"If the elephant should be found, let him be seized, and the information forwarded to me by telegraph."

"Yes, sir."

"Let me be informed at once if any clues should be found footprints of the animal, or anything of that kind."

"Yes, sir."

"Get an order commanding the harbor police to patrol the frontages vigilantly."

"Yes, sir."

"Despatch detectives in plain clothes over all the railways, north as far as Canada, west as far as Ohio, south

as far as Washington."

"Yes, sir."

"Place experts in all the telegraph offices to listen in to all messages; and let them require that all cipher

despatches be interpreted to them."

"Yes, sir."

"Let all these things be done with the utmost's secrecymind, the most impenetrable secrecy."

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"Yes, sir."

"Report to me promptly at the usual hour."

"Yes, Sir."

"Go!"

"Yes, sir."

He was gone.

Inspector Blunt was silent and thoughtful a moment, while the fire in his eye cooled down and faded out.

Then he turned to me and said in a placid voice:

"I am not given to boasting, it is not my habit; butwe shall find the elephant."

I shook him warmly by the hand and thanked him; and I felt my thanks, too. The more I had seen of the man

the more I liked him and the more I admired him and marveled over the mysterious wonders of his

profession. Then we parted for the night, and I went home with a far happier heart than I had carried with me

to his office.

Next morning it was all in the newspapers, in the minutest detail. It even had additionsconsisting of

Detective This, Detective That, and Detective The Other's "Theory" as to how the robbery was done, who the

robbers were, and whither they had flown with their booty. There were eleven of these theories, and they

covered all the possibilities; and this single fact shows what independent thinkers detectives are. No two

theories were alike, or even much resembled each other, save in one striking particular, and in that one all the

other eleven theories were absolutely agreed. That was, that although the rear of my building was torn out

and the only door remained locked, the elephant had not been removed through the rent, but by some other

(undiscovered) outlet. All agreed that the robbers had made that rent only to mislead the detectives. That

never would have occurred to me or to any other layman, perhaps, but it had not deceived the detectives for a

moment. Thus, what I had supposed was the only thing that had no mystery about it was in fact the very thing

I had gone furthest astray in. The eleven theories all named the supposed robbers, but no two named the same

robbers; the total number of suspected persons was thirtyseven. The various newspaper accounts all closed

with the most important opinion of all that of Chief Inspector Blunt. A portion of this statement read as

follows:

The chief knows who the two principals are, namely, "Brick" Daffy

and "Red" McFadden. Ten days before the robbery was achieved he was

already aware that it was to be attempted, and had quietly proceeded

to shadow these two noted villains; but unfortunately on the night

in question their track was lost, and before it could be found again

the bird was flownthat is, the elephant.

Daffy and McFadden are the boldest scoundrels in the profession; the

chief has reasons for believing that they are the men who stole the

stove out of the detective headquarters on a bitter night last

winterin consequence of which the chief and every detective

present were in the hands of the physicians before morning, some

with frozen feet, others with frozen fingers, ears, and other

members.

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When I read the first half of that I was more astonished than ever at the wonderful sagacity of this strange

man. He not only saw everything in the present with a clear eye, but even the future could not be hidden from

him. I was soon at his office, and said I could not help wishing he had had those men arrested, and so

prevented the trouble and loss; but his reply was simple and unanswerable:

"It is not our province to prevent crime, but to punish it. We cannot punish it until it is committed."

I remarked that the secrecy with which we had begun had been marred by the newspapers; not only all our

facts but all our plans and purposes had been revealed; even all the suspected persons had been named; these

would doubtless disguise themselves now, or go into hiding.

"Let them. They will find that when I am ready for them my hand will descend upon them, in their secret

places, as unerringly as the hand of fate. As to the newspapers, we must keep in with them. Fame, reputation,

constant public mentionthese are the detective's bread and butter. He must publish his facts, else he will be

supposed to have none; he must publish his theory, for nothing is so strange or striking as a detective's theory,

or brings him so much wonderful respect; we must publish our plans, for these the journals insist upon

having, and we could not deny them without offending. We must constantly show the public what we are

doing, or they will believe we are doing nothing. It is much pleasanter to have a newspaper say, 'Inspector

Blunt's ingenious and extraordinary theory is as follows,' than to have it say some harsh thing, or, worse still,

some sarcastic one."

"I see the force of what you say. But I noticed that in one part of your remarks in the papers this morning you

refused to reveal your opinion upon a certain minor point."

"Yes, we always do that; it has a good effect. Besides, I had not formed any opinion on that point, anyway."

I deposited a considerable sum of money with the inspector, to meet current expenses, and sat down to wait

for news. We were expecting the telegrams to begin to arrive at any moment now. Meantime I reread the

newspapers and also our descriptive circular, and observed that our twentyfive thousand dollars reward

seemed to be offered only to detectives. I said I thought it ought to be offered to anybody who would catch

the elephant. The inspector said:

"It is the detectives who will find the elephant; hence the reward will go to the right place. If other people

found the animal, it would only be by watching the detectives and taking advantage of clues and indications

stolen from them, and that would entitle the detectives to the reward, after all. The proper office of a reward

is to stimulate the men who deliver up their time and their trained sagacities to this sort of work, and not to

confer benefits upon chance citizens who stumble upon a capture without having earned the benefits by their

own merits and labors."

This was reasonable enough, certainly. Now the telegraphic machine in the corner began to click, and the

following despatch was the result:

FLOWER STATION, N. Y., 7.30 A.M.

Have got a clue. Found a succession of deep tracks across a farm

near here. Followed them two miles east without result; think

elephant went west. Shall now shadow him in that direction.

DARLEY, Detective.

"Darley's one of the best men on the force," said the inspector. "We shall hear from him again before long."

Telegram No. 2 came:

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BARKER'S, N. J., 7.40 A.M.

Just arrived. Glass factory broken open here during night, and

eight hundred bottles taken. Only water in large quantity near here

is five miles distant. Shall strike for there. Elephant will be

thirsty. Bottles were empty.

DARLEY, Detective.

"That promises well, too," said the inspector.

I told you the creature's appetites would not be bad clues."

Telegram No. 3:

TAYLORVILLE, L. I. 8.15 A.M.

A haystack near here disappeared during night. Probably eaten.

Have got a clue, and am off.

HUBBARD, Detective.

"How he does move around!" said the inspector "I knew we had a difficult job on hand, but we shall catch

him yet."

FLOWER STATION, N. Y., 9 A.M.

Shadowed the tracks three miles westward. Large, deep, and ragged.

Have just met a farmer who says they are not elephanttracks. Says

they are holes where he dug up saplings for shadetrees when ground

was frozen last winter. Give me orders how to proceed.

DARLEY, Detective.

"Aha! a confederate of the thieves! The thing, grows warm," said the inspector.

He dictated the following telegram to Darley:

Arrest the man and force him to name his pals. Continue to follow

the tracks to the Pacific, if necessary.

Chief BLUNT.

Next telegram:

CONEY POINT, PA., 8.45 A.M.

Gas office broken open here during night and three month; unpaid gas

bills taken. Have got a clue and am away.

MURPHY, Detective.

"Heavens!" said the inspector; "would he eat gas bills?"

"Through ignoranceyes; but they cannot support life. At least, unassisted."

Now came this exciting telegram:

IRONVILLE, N. Y., 9.30 A.M.

Just arrived. This village in consternation. Elephant passed

through here at five this morning. Some say he went east some say

west, some north, some southbut all say they did not wait to

notice, particularly. He killed a horse; have secure a piece of it

for a clue. Killed it with his trunk; from style of blow, think he

struck it lefthanded. From position in which horse lies, think

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elephant traveled northward along line Berkley Railway. Has four

and a half hours' start, but I move on his track at once.

HAWES, Detective

I uttered exclamations of joy. The inspector was as selfcontained as a graven image. He calmly touched his

bell.

"Alaric, send Captain Burns here."

Burns appeared.

"How many men are ready for instant orders?"

"Ninetysix, sir."

"Send them north at once. Let them concentrate along the line of the Berkley road north of Ironville."

"Yes, sir."

"Let them conduct their movements with the utmost secrecy. As fast as others are at liberty, hold them for

orders."

"Yes, sir."

"Go!"

"Yes, sir."

Presently came another telegram:

SAGE CORNERS, N. Y., 10.30.

Just arrived. Elephant passed through here at 8.15. All escaped

from the town but a policeman. Apparently elephant did not strike

at policeman, but at the lamppost. Got both. I have secured a

portion of the policeman as clue.

STUMM, Detective.

"So the elephant has turned westward," said the inspector. "However, he will not escape, for my men are

scattered all over that region."

The next telegram said:

GLOVER'S, 11.15

Just arrived. Village deserted, except sick and aged. Elephant passed

through threequarters of an hour ago. The antitemperance massmeeting

was in session; he put his trunk in at a window and washed it out with

water from cistern. Some swallowed itsince dead; several drowned.

Detectives Cross and O'Shaughnessy were passing through town, but going

southso missed elephant. Whole region for many miles around in terror

people flying from their homes. Wherever they turn they meet elephant,

and many are killed.

BRANT, Detective.

I could have shed tears, this havoc so distressed me. But the inspector only said:

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"You seewe are closing in on him. He feels our presence; he has turned eastward again."

Yet further troublous news was in store for us. The telegraph brought this:

HOGANSPORT, 12.19.

Just arrived. Elephant passed through half an hour ago, creating

wildest fright and excitement. Elephant raged around streets; two

plumbers going by, killed oneother escaped. Regret general.

O'FLAHERTY, Detective.

"Now he is right in the midst of my men," said the inspector. "Nothing can save him."

A succession of telegrams came from detectives who were scattered through New Jersey and Pennsylvania,

and who were following clues consisting of ravaged barns, factories, and Sundayschool libraries, with high

hopeshopes amounting to certainties, indeed. The inspector said:

"I wish I could communicate with them and order them north, but that is impossible. A detective only visits a

telegraph office to send his report; then he is off again, and you don't know where to put your hand on him."

Now came this despatch:

BRIDGEPORT, CT., 12.15.

Barnum offers rate of $4,000 a year for exclusive privilege of using

elephant as traveling advertising medium from now till detectives

find him. Wants to paste circusposters on him. Desires immediate

answer.

BOGGS, Detective.

"That is perfectly absurd!" I exclaimed.

"Of course it is," said the inspector. "Evidently Mr. Barnum, who thinks he is so sharp, does not know

mebut I know him."

Then he dictated this answer to the despatch:

Mr. Barnum's offer declined. Make it $7,000 or nothing.

Chief BLUNT.

"There. We shall not have to wait long for an answer. Mr. Barnum is not at home; he is in the telegraph

officeit is his way when he has business on hand. Inside of three"

Done.P. T. BARNUM.

So interrupted the clicking telegraphic instrument. Before I could make a comment upon this extraordinary

episode, the following despatch carried my thoughts into another and very distressing channel:

BOLIVIA, N. Y., 12.50.

Elephant arrived here from the south and passed through toward the

forest at 11.50, dispersing a funeral on the way, and diminishing

the mourners by two. Citizens fired some small cannonballs into

him, and they fled. Detective Burke and I arrived ten minutes

later, from the north, but mistook some excavations for footprints,

and so lost a good deal of time; but at last we struck the right

trail and followed it to the woods. We then got down on our hands

and knees and continued to keep a sharp eye on the track, and so

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shadowed it into the brush. Burke was in advance. Unfortunately

the animal had stopped to rest; therefore, Burke having his head

down, intent upon the track, butted up against the elephant's hind

legs before he was aware of his vicinity. Burke instantly arose to

his feet, seized the tail, and exclaimed joyfully, "I claim the re

" but got no further, for a single blow of the huge trunk laid the

brave fellow's fragments low in death. I fled rearward, and the

elephant turned and shadowed me to the edge of the wood, making

tremendous speed, and I should inevitably have been lost, but that

the remains of the funeral providentially intervened again and

diverted his attention. I have just learned that nothing of that

funeral is now left; but this is no loss, for there is abundance of

material for another. Meantime, the elephant has disappeared again.

MULROONEY, Detective.

We heard no news except from the diligent and confident detectives scattered about New Jersey,

Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Virginiawho were all following fresh and encouraging cluesuntil shortly

after 2 P.M., when this telegram came:

BAXTER CENTER, 2.15.

Elephant been here, plastered over with circusbills, any broke up a

revival, striking down and damaging many who were on the point of

entering upon a better life. Citizens penned him up and established

a guard. When Detective Brown and I arrived, some time after, we

entered inclosure and proceeded to identify elephant by photograph

and description. All masks tallied exactly except one, which we

could not seethe boilscar under armpit. To make sure, Brown

crept under to look, and was immediately brainedthat is, head

crushed and destroyed, though nothing issued from debris. All fled

so did elephant, striking right and left with much effect. He

escaped, but left bold bloodtrack from cannonwounds. Rediscovery

certain. He broke southward, through a dense forest.

BRENT, Detective.

That was the last telegram. At nightfall a fog shut down which was so dense that objects but three feet away

could not be discerned. This lasted all night. The ferryboats and even the omnibuses had to stop running.

III

Next morning the papers were as full of detective theories as before; they had all our tragic facts in detail

also, and a great many more which they had received from their telegraphic correspondents. Column after

column was occupied, a third of its way down, with glaring headlines, which it made my heart sick to read.

Their general tone was like this:

THE WHITE ELEPHANT AT LARGE! HE MOVES UPON HIS FATAL MARCH WHOLE

VILLAGES DESERTED BY THEIR FRIGHTSTRICKEN OCCUPANTS! PALE TERROR

GOES BEFORE HIM, DEATH AND DEVASTATION FOLLOW AFTER! AFTER THESE,

THE DETECTIVES! BARNS DESTROYED, FACTORIES GUTTED, HARVESTS

DEVOURED, PUBLIC ASSEMBLAGES DISPERSED, ACCOMPANIED BY SCENES OF

CARNAGE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE! THEORIES OF THIRTYFOUR OF THE MOST

DISTINGUISHED DETECTIVES ON THE FORCES! THEORY OF CHIEF BLUNT!

"There!" said Inspector Blunt, almost betrayed into excitement, "this is magnificent! This is the greatest

windfall that any detective organization ever had. The fame of it will travel to the ends of the earth, and

endure to the end of time, and my name with it."

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But there was no joy for me. I felt as if I had committed all those red crimes, and that the elephant was only

my irresponsible agent. And how the list had grown! In one place he had "interfered with an election and

killed five repeaters." He had followed this act with the destruction of two pool fellows, named O'Donohue

and McFlannigan, whO had "found a refuge in the home of the oppressed of all lands only the day before,

and were in the act of exercising for the first time the noble right of American citizens at the polls, when

stricken down by the relentless hand of the Scourge of Siam." In another, he had "found a crazy sensation

preacher preparing his next season's heroic attacks on the dance, the theater, and other things which can't

strike back, and had stepped on him." And in still another place he had "killed a lightningrod agent." And so

the list went on, growing redder and redder, and more and more heartbreaking. Sixty persons had been killed,

and two hundred and forty wounded. All the accounts bore just testimony to the activity and devotion of the

detectives, and all closed with the remark that "three hundred thousand citizen; and four detectives saw the

dread creature, and two of the latter he destroyed."

I dreaded to hear the telegraphic instrument begin to click again. By and by the messages began to pour in,

but I was happily disappointed in they nature. It was soon apparent that all trace of the elephant was lost. The

fog had enabled him to search out a good hidingplace unobserved. Telegrams from the most absurdly

distant points reported that a dim vast mass had been glimpsed there through the fog at such and such an

hour, and was "undoubtedly the elephant." This dim vast mass had been glimpsed in New Haven, in New

Jersey, in Pennsylvania, in interior New York, in Brooklyn, and even in the city of New York itself! But in all

cases the dim vast mass had vanished quickly and left no trace. Every detective of the large force scattered

over this huge extent of country sent his hourly report, and each and every one of them had a clue, and was

shadowing something, and was hot upon the heels of it.

But the day passed without other result.

The next day the same.

The next just the same.

The newspaper reports began to grow monotonous with facts that amounted to nothing, clues which led to

nothing, and theories which had nearly exhausted the elements which surprise and delight and dazzle.

By advice of the inspector I doubled the reward.

Four more dull days followed. Then came a bitter blow to the poor, hardworking detectivesthe journalists

declined to print their theories, and coldly said, "Give us a rest."

Two weeks after the elephant's disappearance I raised the reward to seventyfive thousand dollars by the

inspector's advice. It was a great sum, but I felt that I would rather sacrifice my whole private fortune than

lose my credit with my government. Now that the detectives were in adversity, the newspapers turned upon

them, and began to fling the most stinging sarcasms at them. This gave the minstrels an idea, and they

dressed themselves as detectives and hunted the elephant on the stage in the most extravagant way. The

caricaturists made pictures of detectives scanning the country with spyglasses, while the elephant, at their

backs, stole apples out of their pockets. And they made all sorts of ridiculous pictures of the detective

badgeyou have seen that badge printed in gold on the back of detective novels, no doubt it is a

widestaring eye, with the legend, "WE NEVER SLEEP." When detectives called for a drink, the wouldbe

facetious barkeeper resurrected an obsolete form of expression and said, "Will you have an eyeopener?" All

the air was thick with sarcasms.

But there was one man who moved calm, untouched, unaffected, through it all. It was that heart of oak, the

chief inspector. His brave eye never drooped, his serene confidence never wavered. He always said:

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"Let them rail on; he laughs best who laughs last."

My admiration for the man grew into a species of worship. I was at his side always. His office had become an

unpleasant place to me, and now became daily more and more so. Yet if he could endure it I meant to do so

alsoat least, as long as I could. So I came regularly, and stayed the only outsider who seemed to be

capable of it. Everybody wondered how I could; and often it seemed to me that I must desert, but at such

times I looked into that calm and apparently unconscious face, and held my ground.

About three weeks after the elephant's disappearance I was about to say, one morning, that I should have to

strike my colors and retire, when the great detective arrested the thought by proposing one more superb and

masterly move.

This was to compromise with the robbers. The fertility of this man's invention exceeded anything I have ever

seen, and I have had a wide intercourse with the world's finest minds. He said he was confident he could

compromise for one hundred thousand dollars and recover the elephant. I said I believed I could scrape the

amount together, but what would become of the poor detectives who had worked so faithfully? He said:

"In compromises they always get half."

This removed my only objection. So the inspector wrote two notes, in this form:

DEAR MADAM,Your husband can make a large sum of money (and be

entirely protected from the law) by making an immediate, appointment

with me. Chief BLUNT.

He sent one of these by his confidential messenger to the "reputed wife" of Brick Duffy, and the other to the

reputed wife of Red McFadden.

Within the hour these offensive answers came:

YE OWLD FOOL: brick Duffys bin ded 2 yere.

BRIDGET MAHONEY.

CHIEF BAT,Red McFadden is hung and in heving 18 month. Any Ass

but a detective know that.

MARY O'HOOLIGAN.

"I had long suspected these facts," said the inspector; "this testimony proves the unerring accuracy of my

instinct."

The moment one resource failed him he was ready with another. He immediately wrote an advertisement for

the morning papers, and I kept a copy of it:

A.xWhlv. 242 ht. Tjndfz328wmlg. Ozpo, 2 m! 2m!. M! ogw.

He said that if the thief was alive this would bring him to the usual rendezvous. He further explained that the

usual rendezvous was a glare where all business affairs between detectives and criminals were conducted.

This meeting would take place at twelve the next night.

We could do nothing till then, and I lost no time in getting out of the office, and was grateful indeed for the

privilege.

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At eleven the next night I brought one hundred thousand dollars in banknotes and put them into the chief's

hands, and shortly afterward he took his leave, with the brave old undimmed confidence in his eye. An almost

intolerable hour dragged to a close; then I heard his welcome tread, and rose gasping and tottered to meet

him. How his fine eyes flamed with triumph! He said:

"We've compromised! The jokers will sing a different tune tomorrow! Follow me!"

He took a lighted candle and strode down into the vast vaulted basement where sixty detectives always slept,

and where a score were now playing cards to while the time. I followed close after him. He walked swiftly

down to the dim and remote end of the place, and just as I succumbed to the pangs of suffocation and was

swooning away he stumbled and fell over the outlying members of a mighty object, and I heard him exclaim

as he went down:

"Our noble profession is vindicated. Here is your elephant!"

I was carried to the office above and restored with carbolic acid. The whole detective force swarmed in, and

such another season of triumphant rejoicing ensued as I had never witnessed before. The reporters were

called, baskets of champagne were opened, toasts were drunk, the handshakings and congratulations were

continuous and enthusiastic. Naturally the chief was the hero of the hour, and his happiness was so complete

and had been so patiently and worthily and bravely won that it made me happy to see it, though I stood there

a homeless beggar, my priceless charge dead, and my position in my country's service lost to me through

what would always seem my fatally careless execution of a great trust. Many an eloquent eye testified its

deep admiration for the chief, and many a detective's voice murmured, "Look at himjust the king of the

profession; only give him a clue, it's all he wants, and there ain't anything hid that he can't find." The dividing

of the fifty thousand dollars made great pleasure; when it was finished the chief made a little speech while he

put his share in his pocket, in which he said, "Enjoy it, boys, for you've earned it; and, more than that, you've

earned for the detective profession undying fame."

A telegram arrived, which read:

MONROE, MICH., 10 P.M.

First time I've struck a telegraph office in over three weeks. Have

followed those footprints, horseback, through the woods, a thousand miles

to here, and they get stronger and bigger and fresher every day. Don't

worryinside of another week I'll have the elephant. This is dead sure.

DARLEY, Detective.

The chief ordered three cheers for "Darley, one of the finest minds on the force," and then commanded that

he be telegraphed to come home and receive his share of the reward.

So ended that marvelous episode of the stolen elephant. The newspapers were pleasant with praises once

more, the next day, with one contemptible exception. This sheet said, "Great is the detective! He may be a

little slow in finding a little thing like a mislaid elephant he may hunt him all day and sleep with his rotting

carcass all night for three weeks, but he will find him at last if he can get the man who mislaid him to show

him the place!"

Poor Hassan was lost to me forever. The cannonshots had wounded him fatally, he had crept to that

unfriendly place in the fog, and there, surrounded by his enemies and in constant danger of detection, he had

wasted away with hunger and suffering till death gave him peace.

The compromise cost me one hundred thousand dollars; my detective expenses were fortytwo thousand

dollars more; I never applied for a place again under my government; I am a ruined man and a wanderer on

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the earth but my admiration for that man, whom I believe to be the greatest detective the world has ever

produced, remains undimmed to this day, and will so remain unto the end.

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