[V.i. A street].........................................................................................................................................89

Enter Mary Fitzallard disguised like a sempster with a case for bands, and Neatfoot a servingman with her,

The young gentleman our young master, Sir Alexander's son, is it into his ears, sweet damsel emblem of

You shall fructify in that which you come for: your pleasure shall be satisfied to your full contentation. I will,

fairest tree of generation, watch when our young master is erected, that is to say, up, and deliver him to this

And withal certify him that I have culled out for him, now his belly is replenished, a daintier bit or modicum

than any lay upon his trencher at dinner. Hath he notion of your name, I beseech your chastity?

Falling bands: it shall so be given him. If you please to venture your modesty in the hall amongst a

curlpated company of rude servingmen, and take such as they can set before you, you shall be most

Or will you vouchsafe to kiss the lip of a cup of rich Orleans in the buttery amongst our waitingwomen?

Our young master shall then have a feeling of your being here; presently it shall so be given him.

Bands? Y'are mistaken, sweet heart, I bespake none. When, where? I prithee, what bands? Let me see them.

Enter Sir Alexander Wengrave, Sir Davy Dapper, Sir Adam Appleton, Goshawk, Laxton, and gentlemen.

[Aside] How finely like a fencer my father fetches his byblows to hit me, but if I beat you not at your own

To be a shifter under your worship's nose of a clean trencher when there's a good bit upon't.

As well as I know 'twill rain upon Simon and Jude's day next. I will sift all the taverns i' th' city and drink

halfpots with all the watermen a' th' Bankside, but if you will, sir, I'll find her out.

Oh, sir, that all the poor soldiers in England had such a leader! For fetching, no waterspaniel is like me.

The jingling of golden bells and a good fool with a hobbyhorse will draw all the whores i' th' town to dance in

The first a pothecary's shop, the next a feather shop, the third a sempster's shop: Mistress Gallipot in the first,

Mistress Tiltyard in the next, Master Openwork and his wife in the third. To them enters Laxton, Goshawk

Gentlemen, what is't you lack? What is't you buy? See fine bands and ruffs, fine lawns, fine cambrics! What

Ay, she's a gentlewoman born, I can tell you, tho' it be her hard fortune now to shred Indian potherbs.

Oh, sir, 'tis many a good woman's fortune, when her husband turns bankrout, to begin with pipes and set up

And indeed the raising of the woman is the lifting up of the man's head at all times: if one flourish, t'other

And you grope no better i' th' dark, you may chance lie i' th' ditch when y'are drunk.

May take up an ell of pure smock. Away, go! [Aside] 'Tis the closest striker. Life, I think he commits venery

foot deep; no man's aware on't. I like a palpable smockster go to work so openly with the tricks of art that I'm

as apparently seen as a naked boy in a vial, and were it not for a gift of treachery that I have in me to betray

my friend when he puts most trust in memass, yonder he is tooand by his injury to make good my

access to her, I should appear as defective in courting as a farmer's son the first day of his feather that doth

nothing at court but woo the hangings and glass windows for a month together, and some broken

waitingwoman forever after. I find those imperfections in my venery that were 't not for flattery and

falsehood, I should want discourse and impudence, and he that wants impudence among women is worthy to

But 'twill serve generally, like the front of a new almanac, as thus: calculated for the meridian of cooks'

[Aside to Laxton] Be not forgetful: respect my credit, seem strange. Art and wit makes a fool of suspicion;

I thought 'twas good, you were grown so silent; you are like those that love not to talk at victuals, tho' they

make a worse noise i' the nose than a common fiddler's prentice and discourse a whole supper with snuffling.

Oh, what else, sir? He's perfection itself, full of manners, but not an acre of ground belonging to ['im].

I protest I'm in extreme want of money: if you can supply me now with any means, you do me the greatest

What's the sum would pleasure ye, sir? Tho' you deserve nothing less at my hands.

Why, 'tis but for want of opportunity, thou know'st. [Aside] I put her off with opportunity still. By this light, I

hate her but for means to keep me in fashion with gallants, for what I take from her I spend upon other

wenches. Bear her in hand still; she has wit enough to rob her husband, and I ways enough to consume the

money.[Approaching Goshawk from behind and slapping him on the back] Why, how now? What, the

Thou hast the cowardliest trick to come before a man's face and strangle him ere he be aware! I could find in

Pox and thou dostthou know'st I never use to fight with my friendsthou'll but lose thy labour in't.

Pardon me, sweet Jack, I'm sorry I made such a rash oath, but foolish oaths must stand. Where art going,

How! Three single halfpence! Life, this will scarce serve a man in sauce, a hal'p'orth of mustard, a hal'p'orth

of oil, and a hal'p'orth of vinegar. What's left then for the pickle herring? This shows like small beer i' th'

morning after a great surfeit of wine o'ernight. He could spend his three pound last night in a supper amongst

girls and brave bawdyhouse boys; I thought his pockets cackl'd not for nothing. These are the eggs of three

[Aside, counting his money] Eight, nine, ten angels. Good wench, i'faith, and one that loves darkness well:

she puts out a candle with the best tricks of any drugster's wife in England; but that which mads her, I rail

upon opportunity still and take no notice on't. The other night she would needs lead me into a room with a

candle in her hand to show me a naked picture, where no sooner entered but the candle was sent of an arrant;

now I not intending to understand her, but, like a puny at the inns of venery, call'd for another light

innocently: thus reward I all her cunning with simple mistaking. I know she cozens her husband to keep me,

and I'll keep her honest as long as I can to make the poor man some part of amends: an honest mind of a

[Aside] Heart, I would give but too much money to be nibbling with that wench! Life, sh'as the spirit of four

great parishes, and a voice that will drown all the city; methinks a brave captain might get all his soldiers

upon her and ne'er be beholding to a company of Mile End milksops, if he could come on and come off quick

enough. Such a Moll were a marrowbone before an Italian; he would cry bona roba till his ribs were nothing

but bone. I'll lay hard siege to her; money is that aqua fortis that eats into many a maidenhead: where the

Yes, faith, 'tis very good tobacco. How do you sell an ounce? Farewell. God b'i'you, Mistress Gallipot.

I cannot stay now, i'faith. I am going to buy a shag ruff; the shop will be shut in presently.

'Tis the maddest, fantastical'st girl: I never knew so much flesh and so much nimbleness put together.

She slips from one company to another, like a fat eel between a Dutchman's fingers. [Aside] I'll watch my

That were excellent: she might first cuckold the husband and then make him do as much for the wife.

Nay, and a feather hold you in play a whole hour, a goose will last you all the days of your life.

How now! Greetings? Loveterms with a pox between you! Have I found out one of your haunts? I send you

for hollands, and you're i' th' low countries with a mischief. I'm serv'd with good ware by th' shift, that makes

it lie dead so long upon my hands: I were as good shut up shop, for when I open it I take nothing.

Nay, and you fall aringing once the devil cannot stop you. I'll out of the belfry as fast as I can. Moll.

No, but by candlelight you did. You have tricks to save your oaths, reservations have you, and I have

reserved somewhat for you. [Strikes him.] As you like that, call for more; you know the sign again.

Pox on't, had I brought any company along with me to have borne witness on't; 'twould ne'er have griev'd me;

but to be struck and nobody by, 'tis my ill fortune still. Why, tread upon a worm, they say 'twill turn tail, but

Gallantly performed, i'faith, Moll, and manfully! I love thee forever for't! Base rogue! Had he offer'd but the

You prepared for him! Why should you be prepared for him? Was he any more than a man?

Why do you speak this then? Do you think I cannot ride a stone horse unless one lead him by th' snaffle?

Yes, and sit him bravely; I know thou canst, Moll. 'Twas but an honest mistake through love, and I'll make

amends for't any way. Prithee, sweet, plump Moll, when shall thou and I go out a' town together?

Mass, that's out a' town indeed; thou hang'st so many jests upon thy friends still. I mean honestly to

I thought 'twould be a beastly journey. You may leave out one well: three horses will serve if I play the jade

Nay, but appoint the place then. [Giving her money] There's ten angels in fair gold, Moll; you see I do not

trifle with you. Do but say thou wilt meet me, and I'll have a coach ready for thee.

I am of such a nature, sir, I cannot endure the house when she scolds. Sh' has a tongue will be [heard] further

in a still morning than Saint Antling's bell. She rails upon me for foreign wenching, that I being a freeman

must needs keep a whore i' th' suburbs, and seek to impoverish the liberties. When we fall out, I trouble you

Oh, singularly! You're fitted now for a bunch. [Aside] He looks for all the world with those spangled feathers

like a nobleman's bedpost! The purity of your wench would I fain try; she seems like Kent, unconquered, and

I believe as many wiles are in her. Oh, the gallants of these times are shallow lechers; they put not their

courtship home enough to a wench. 'Tis impossible to know what woman is thoroughly honest, because she's

ne'er thoroughly tried; I am of that certain belief there are more queans in this town of their own making than

of any man's provoking. Where lies the slackness then? Many a poor soul would down, and there's nobody

Oh, spital dealing! I came to him a gentlewoman born. I'll show you mine arms when you please, sir.

'Tis well known he took me from a lady's service, where I was well beloved of the steward; I had my Latin

tongue and a spice of the French before I came to him, and now doth he keep a suburbian whore under my

[Aside] I'll try one spear against your chastity, Mistress Tiltyard, though it prove too short by the [burr].

[Aside] Mass, here she is! I'm bound already to serve her, tho' it be but a sluttish trick.Bless my hopeful

young mistress with long life and great limbs! Send her the upper hand of all bailiffs and their hungry

A poor, ebbing gentleman that would gladly wait for the young flood of your service.

So, sir, put case we should retain you to us, what parts are there in you for a gentlewoman's service?

Of two kinds, right worshipful, movable and immovable: movable to run of arrants, and immovable to stand

Strength, Mistress Moll? I have gone up into a steeple and stayed the great bell as 't has been ringing, stopp'd

Come, I pardon you for this; it shall be no disgrace to you: I have struck up the heels of the high German's

I am of that nature where I love, I'll be at my mistress' foot to do her service.

Why, well said. But say your mistress should receive injury: have you the spirit of fighting in you? Durst you

Well, meet me in Gray's Inn Fields between three and four this afternoon, and upon better consideration we'll

Exeunt gallants [Laxton, Goshawk, Greenwit, Jack Dapper]. Enter Master Gallipot, Master Tiltyard, and

Push, let your boy lead his waterspaniel along and we'll show you the bravest sport at Parlous Pond. Hey

Fiddle, goodman hogrubber? Some of these porters bear so much for others they have no time to carry wit

Who'll hear an ass speak? Whither else, goodman pageantbearer? They're people of the worst memories.

Why, 'twere too great a burthen, love, to have them carry things in their minds and a' their backs together.

Sir, I am so poor to requite you, you must look for nothing but thanks of me. I have no humour to marry: I

love to lie a' both sides a' th' bed myself; and again a' th' other side, a wife, you know, ought to be obedient,

but I fear me I am too headstrong to obey, therefore I'll ne'er go about it. I love you so well, sir, for your good

will I'd be loath you should repent your bargain after, and therefore we'll ne'er come together at first. I have

the head now of myself and am man enough for a woman; marriage is but a chopping and changing, where a

Believe it, sir, I am not of that disdainful temper, but I could love you faithfully.

But sleep upon this once more, sir, you may chance shift a mind tomorrow. Be not too hasty to wrong

yourself; never while you live, sir, take a wife running: many have run out at heels that have done 't. You see,

sir, I speak against myself, and if every woman would deal with their suitor so honestly, poor younger

brothers would not be so often gull'd with old cozening widows that turn o'er all their wealth in trust to some

kinsman and make the poor gentleman work hard for a pension. Fare you well, sir.

Think upon this in cold blood, sir: you make as much haste as if you were agoing upon a sturgeon voyage.

There boy, there boy! What, dost thou go ahawking after me with a red clout on thy finger?

[Aside] Hoyda! Breeches! What, will he marry a monster with two trinkets? What age is this? If the wife go

You change the fashion; you say you'll have the great Dutch slop, Mistress Mary.

I know my fault now: t'other was somewhat stiff between the legs; I'll make these open enough, I warrant

[Aside] Here's good gear towards! I have brought up my son to marry a Dutch slop and a French doublet, a

If you go presently to your chamber, Mistress Mary, pray send me the measure of your thigh by some honest

So you had need: it is a lusty one; both of them would make any porter's back ache in England.

What, sayst thou marriage? In what place, the sessionshouse? And who shall give the bride, prithee, an

[Giving him money] There's a tester more. Prithee drive thy coach to the hither end of Marybone Park, a fit

May we safely take the upper hand of any [couch'd] velvet cap or tufftaffety jacket? For they keep a vild

My life for yours and baffle 'em too, sir. Why, they are the same jades, believe it, sir, that have drawn all your

They're so us'd to such journeys, sir, I never use whip to 'em, for if they catch but the scent of a wench once,

Fine Cerberus: that rogue will have the start of a thousand ones, for whilst others trot afoot, he'll ride

prancing to hell upon a coachhorse. Stay, 'tis now about the hour of her appointment, but yet I see her not.

Hark, what's this? One, two, three, three by the clock at Savoy: this is the hour, and Gray's Inn Fields the

place. She swore she'd meet me. Ha, yonder's two Inns a' Court men with one wench, but that's not she; they

walk toward Islington out of my way. I see none yet dress'd like her: I must look for a shag ruff, a frieze

jerkin, a short sword, and safeguard, or I get none. Why, Moll, prithee make haste or the coachman will curse

[Aside] Oh, here's my gentleman: if they would keep their days as well with their mercers as their hours with

their harlots, no bankrout would give seven score pound for a sergeant's place, for would you know a

catchpole rightly deriv'd, the corruption of a citizen is the generation of a sergeant! How his eye hawks for

Th' art admirably suited for the Three Pigeons at Brainford; I'll swear I knew thee not.

Yes, here's the point that I untruss: 't has but one tag; 'twill serve tho' to tie up a rogue's tongue.

Spoke like a noble girl, i'faith! [Aside] Heart, I think I fight with a familiar or the ghost of a fencer! Sh' has

wounded me gallantly. Call you this a lecherous [voyage]? Here's blood would have serv'd me this seven year

in broken heads and cut fingers, and it now runs all out together. Pox a' the Three Pigeons! I would the coach

Life, 't had been a beastly part of me to have drawn my weapons upon my mistress! All the world would 'a'

Do not say so, mistress; I knew you by your wide straddle, as well as if I had been in your belly.

What a pruing keep you; I think the baby would have a teat, it kyes so. Pray be not so fond of me: leave your

city humours; I'm vex'd at you to see how like a calf you come bleating after me.

Nay, honey Pru. How does your rising up before all the table show? And flinging from my friends so

Up and ride? Nay, my pretty Pru, that's far from my thought, duck. Why, mouse, thy mind is nibbling at

Such an ass as you. Hoyda, y'are best turn midwife or physician! Y'are a pothecary already, but I'm none of

Thou art a sweet drug, sweet'st Pru, and the more thou art pounded, the more precious.

What, I cannot have a qualm come upon me but your teeth waters till your nose hang over it.

Your love? Your love is all words; give me deeds: I cannot abide a man that's too fond over me, so cookish;

Ha, ha, 'tis such a wasp! It does me good now to have her [sting] me, little rogue.

Now fie, how you vex me! I cannot abide these [apron] husbands, such cotqueans: you overdo your things;

[Aside] Upon my life, she breeds! Heaven knows how I have strain'd myself to please her, night and day. I

wonder why we citizens should get children so fretful and untoward in the breeding, their fathers being for

As your wit has done. [Taking out a letter] Now, Master Laxton, show your head. What news from you?

Would any husband suspect that a woman crying, "Buy any scurvygrass" should bring love letters amongst

her herbs to his wife? Pretty trick, fine conveyance! Had jealousy a thousand eyes, a silly woman with

"Oh, sweet creature,"a sweet beginning"pardon my long absence, for thou shalt shortly be possessed

with my presence. Though Demophon was false to Phyllis, I will be to thee as Pandarus was to Cressida;

tho' Aeneas made an ass of Dido, I will die to thee ere I do so. Oh, sweet'st creature, make much of me, for no

man beneath the silver moon shall make more of a woman than I do of thee. Furnish me therefore with thirty

pounds; you must do it of necessity for me: I languish till I see some comfort come from thee, protesting not

Nay, nay, wife, the women are all up! [Aside] Ha! How, reading a' letters? I smell a goose, a couple of

capons, and a gammon of bacon from her mother out of the country, I hold my life.Steal, steal!

Yes, sweet Master Tiltyard. [Taking Mistress Openwork aside] Sirrah Rosamond, I hold my life Gallipot hath

We shall have your face painted with the same red soon at night when your husband comes from his rubbers

in a false alley; thou wilt not believe me that his bowls run with a wrong bias.

It cannot sink into me that he feeds upon stale mutton abroad, having better and fresher at home.

No more.Come, Master Tiltyard, shall we leap into the stirrups with our women and amble home?

'Ud's light, the tide's against me! A pox of your pothecaryship! Oh, for some glister to set him going! 'Tis one

of Hercules' labours to tread one of these city hens because their cocks are still crowing over them; there's no

Enter Sir Alexander Wengrave, Sir Davy Dapper, Sir Adam Appleton at one door, and Trapdoor at another

A duck's egg, sir, a duck that has eaten a frog; I have crack'd the shell and some villainy or other will peep

out presently. The duck that sits is the bouncing ramp, that roaring girl my mistress, the drake that must tread

Close to your son: your son and her moon will be in conjunction, if all almanacs lie not. Her black safeguard

is turn'd into a deep slop, the holes of her upper body to button holes, her waistcoat to a doublet, her placket

to the ancient seat of a codpiece, and you shall take 'em both with standing collars.

As every throng is sure of a pickpocket, as sure as a whore is of the clients all Michaelmas Term, and of the

Stiffly, as a puritan does contention. [Loudly] [Pox], I owe thee not the value of a halfpenny halter!

Thou shalt be hang'd in't ere thou scape so! Varlet, I'll make thee look through a grate.

[Aside to Hanger] This old muzzlechops should be he by the fellow's description.Save you, sir.

One in a blue coat, sir, told us that in this place an old gentleman would watch for us, a thing contrary to our

We are as other men are, sir. I cannot see but he who makes a show of honesty and religion, if his claws can

fasten to his liking, he draws blood. All that live in the world are but great fish and little fish, and feed upon

one another: some eat up whole men; a sergeant cares but for the shoulder of a man. They call us knaves and

curs, but many times he that sets us on worries more lambs one year than we do in seven.

The book where all prisoners' names stand, and not one amongst forty when he comes in believes to come out

As damn'd a usurer as ever was among Jews; if he were sure his father's skin would yield him any money, he

would when he dies [flay] it off, and sell it to cover drums for children at Bartholomew Fair.

[Aside] What toads are these to spit poison on a man to his face!Do you see, my honest rascals? Yonder

greyhound is the dog he hunts with: out of that tavern Jack Dapper will sally. Sa, sa; give the counter, on, set

Take no bail, put mace enough into his caudle, double your files, traverse your ground.

There boy, there boy, away: look to your prey, my true English wolves, and so I vanish.

Some poor windshaken gallant will anon fall into sore labour, and these menmidwives must bring him to

bed i' the counter: there all those that are great with child with debts lie in.

Peeping? It shall go hard, huntsmen, but I'll spoil your game. They look for all the world like two infected

No, by my troth, sir. To lose all your money, yet have false dice of your own! Why, 'tis as I saw a great

fellow used t'other day: he had a fair sword and buckler, and yet a butcher drybeat him with a cudgel.

Whores then are like sergeants, so now hang you! [To Trapdoor] Draw, rogue, but strike not: for a broken

I warrant you for that now; next sessions rids her, sir: this watch will bring her in better than a hundred

[Aside] It's well for her that she must have her choice; he thinks nothing too good for her.If you hold on

this mind a little longer, it shall be the first work I do to turn thief myself; would do a man good to be hang'd

Exeunt. Enter Sebastian, with Mary Fitzallard like a page, and Moll [in man's clothing].

I'm much beholding to 'em. Well, since you'll needs put us together, sir, I'll play my part as well as I can; it

shall ne'er be said I came into a gentleman's chamber and let his instrument hang by the walls.

Why, well said, Moll! I'faith, it had been a shame for that gentleman then that would have let it hung still and

There it should have been still then for Moll, for though the world judge impudently of me, I ne'er came into

Pish, let 'em prate abroad; th' art here where thou art known and lov'd. There be a thousand close dames that

will call the viol an unmannerly instrument for a woman and therefore talk broadly of thee, when you shall

Hang up the viol now, sir: all this while I was in a dream; one shall lie rudely then, but being awake, I keep

Between one and two; nay, then I care not. A watch and a musician are cousingermans in one thing: they

must both keep time well, or there's no goodness in 'em; the one else deserves to be dash'd against a wall, and

t'other to have his brains knock'd out with a fiddle case. What? A loose chain and a dangling diamond.

A goshawk, a puttock: all for prey; he angles for fish, but he loves flesh better.

Possible! Why, have not many handsome legs in silk stockings villainous splay feet for all their great roses?

Didst never see an archer as thou 'ast walk'd by Bunhill look asquint when he drew his bow?

Yes, when his arrows have fline toward Islington, his eyes have shot clean contrary towards Pimlico.

Because Goshawk goes in a shagruff band, with a face sticking up in't which shows like an agate set in a

Swore to me that my husband this very morning went in a boat with a tilt over it to the Three Pigeons at

I believ'd it, fell aswearing at him, cursing of harlots, made me ready to hoise up sail, and be there as soon

And for that voyage Goshawk comes hither incontinently. But, sirrah, this waterspaniel dives after no duck

Sure of it! My poor innocent Openwork came in as I was poking my ruff; presently hit I him i' the teeth with

the Three Pigeons: he forswore all, I up and opened all, and now stands he in a shop hard by like a musket on

Such another lame gelding offered to carry me through thick and thinLaxton, sirrahbut I am rid of him

Happy is the woman can be rid of 'em all. 'Las, what are your whisking gallants to our husbands, weigh 'em

Idle simple things, running heads, and yet let 'em run over us never so fast, we shopkeepers, when all's done,

are sure to have 'em in our pursenets at length, and when they are in, Lord, what simple animals they are!

Then they deal underhand with us, and we must ingle with our husbands abed, and we must swear they are

And yet when we have done our best, all's but put into a riven dish: we are but frump'd at and libell'd upon.

Oh, if it were the good Lord's will, there were a law made no citizen should trust any of 'em at all!

[Aside] Foot, how shall I find water to keep these two mills going?Well, since you'll needs be clapp'd

under hatches, if I sail not with you both till all split, hang me up at the mainyard and duck me. [Aside] It's

but liquoring them both soundly, and then you shall see their cork heels fly up high, like two swans when

their tails are above water and their long necks under water, diving to catch gudgeons.Come, come, oars

stand ready, the tide's with us: on with those false faces. Blow winds and thou shalt take thy husband casting

I believe you'll eat of a cod's head of your own dressing before you reach half way thither.

You, sir. I have gone snaffling up and down by your door this hour to watch for you.

I have caught a cold in my head, sir, by sitting up late in the Rose Tavern, but I hope you understand my

I cite you by the name of Hippocrates Gallipot, and you by the name of Prudence Gallipot, to appear upon

Bow, Bow Church, to answer to a libel of precontract on the part and behalf of the said Prudence and another.

He has had the better chirurgeon. Master Greenwit, is your wit so raw as to play no better a part than a

But prithee, Master Captain Jack, be plain and perspicuous with me: was it your Meg of Westminster's

The valour of my wit, I ensure you, sir, fetch'd you off bravely when you were i' the forlorn hope among

those desperates. Sir Beauteous Ganymede here and Sir Thomas Long heard that cuckoo, my man Trapdoor,

Hang'd I think by this time: a justice in this town that speaks nothing but "make a mittimus, away with him to

Marry, to lay trains of villainy to blow up my life; I smelt the powder, spied what linstock gave fire to shoot

against the poor captain of the galleyfoist, and away slid I my man, like a shovelboard shilling. He struts

up and down the suburbs, I think, and eats up whores, feeds upon a bawd's garbage.

Thou hadst a sweetfac'd boy, hailfellow with thee to your little Gull. How is he spent?

Troth, I whistled the poor little buzzard off a' my fist, because when he waited upon me at the ordinaries, the

gallants hit me i' the teeth still, and said I look'd like a painted alderman's tomb, and the boy at my elbow like

These knights shall have squires' places, belike then. Well, Dapper, what say you?

Sirrah Captain Mad Mary, the gull my own father, Dapper Sir Davy, laid these London boothalers, the

By the tassels of this handkercher, 'tis true. And what was his warlike stratagem, think you? He thought

because a wicker cage tames a nightingale, a lousy prison could make an ass of me.

Ay, as though a counter, which is a park in which all the wild beasts of the city run head by head, could tame

Well met gentlemen all, good Sir Beauteous Ganymede, Sir Thomas Long. And how does Master Dapper?

My Lord Noland, will you go to Pimlico with us? We are making a boon voyage to that nappy land of

Here's such a merry ging, I could find in my heart to sail to the world's end with such company. Come,

Enter Trapdoor like a poor soldier with a patch o'er one eye, and Tearcat with him, all tatters.

Shall we set upon the infantry, these troops of foot? Zounds, yonder comes Moll, my whorish master and

Good your honours and worships, enlarge the ears of commiseration and let the sound of a hoarse military

organpipe, penetrate your pitiful bowels to extract out of them so many small drops of silver, as may give a

Come, come, Dapper, let's give 'em something. 'Las, poor men, what money have you? By my troth, I love a

Not in the Low Countries, if it please your manhood, but in Hungary against the Turk at the siege of

Many Hungarians, Moldavians, Walachians, and Transylvanians, with some Sclavonians, and retiring home,

sir, the Venetian galleys took us prisoners, yet freed us and suffered us to beg up and down the country.

Oh, sir, from Venice to Roma, Vecchio, Bononia, Romania, Bolonia, Modena, Piacenza, and Tuscana with

all her cities, as Pistoia, Valteria, Mountepulchena, Arezzo with the Siennois, and diverse others.

Thou look'st like a strange creature, a fat butterbox, yet speak'st English. What are thou?

Ick, mine here? Ick bin den ruffling Tearcat, den brave soldado; ick bin dorick all Dutchlant gueresen: der

shellum das meere ine beasa ine woert gaeb. Ick slaag um stroakes on tom cop: dastick den hundred touzun

Not a cross, Sir Beauteous. You base rogues, I have taken measure of you better than a tailor can, and I'll fit

Soldier? Thou deserv'st to be hang'd up by that tongue which dishonours so noble a profession. Soldier, you

The balls of these glaziers of mine, mine eyes, shall be shot up and down in any hot piece of service for my

Oh, sir, he hath been brought up in the Isle of Dogs, and can both fawn like a spaniel and bite like a mastiff as

A mere whipjack, and that is, in the commonwealth of rogues, a slave that can talk of seafight, name all

your chief pirates, discover more countries to you than either the Dutch, Spanish, French, or English ever

found out, yet indeed all his service is by land, and that is to rob a fair or some such venturous exploit.

Tearcat! Foot, sirrah, I have your name now! I remember me in my book of horners horns for the thumb, you

No indeed, Captain Moll, for I know you by sight: I am no such nipping Christian, but a maunderer upon on

the pad, I confess, and meeting with honest Trapdoor here, whom you had cashier'd from bearing arms, out at

elbows under your colours, I instructed him in the rudiments of roguery, and by my map made him sail over

Brother to this upright man, flesh and blood, ruffling Tearcat is my name, and a ruffler is my style, my title,

My doxy? I have, by the salomon, a doxy that carries a kinchin mort in her slate at her back, besides my dell

and my dainty wild dell, with all whom I'll tumble this next darkmans in the strommel, and drink ben [booze],

Pure rogues? No, we scorn to be pure rogues, but if you come to our lib ken, or our stalling ken, you shall

Zounds, I'll give a schoolmaster half a crown a week, and teach me this pedlar's French.

Do but stroll, sir, half a harvest with us, sir, and you shall gabble your bellyful.

Well said, Moll. Cant with her, sirrah, and you shall have money, else not a penny.

Ben mort, shall you and I heave a booth, mill a ken, or nip a bung? And then we'll couch a hogshead under

Marry, this, my lord, says he: ben mort, good wench, shall you and I heave a booth, mill a ken, or nip a bung?

And then we'll couch a hogshead under the ruffmans: and then we'll lie under a hedge.

The grating of ten new cartwheels and the gruntling of five hundred hogs coming from Romford market

cannot make a worse noise than this canting language does in my ears. Pray, my Lord Noland, let's give these

Now I see that you are stall'd to the rogue and are not ashamed of your professions. [Giving Tearcat and

Trapdoor the money] Look you, my Lord Noland here and these gentlemen bestows upon you two two

Troth, my lord, only a praise of good drink, the only milk which these wild beasts love to suck, and thus it

Enter a Cutpurse very gallant, with four or five men after him, one with a wand.

'Tis a question whether there be any silver shells amongst them for all their satin outsides.

Pox on him! A gallant? Shadow me, I know him: 'tis one that cumbers the land indeed; if he swim near to the

A diver with two fingers, a pickpocket: all his train study the figging law, that's to say, cutting of purses and

foisting. One of them is a nip; I took him once i' the twopenny gallery at the Fortune. Then there's a cloyer, or

snap, that dogs any new brother in that trade, and snaps will have half in any booty. He with the wand is both

a stale, whose office is to face a man i' the streets whilst shells are drawn by another, and then with his black

conjuring rod in his hand, he, by the nimbleness of his eye and jugglingstick, will in cheaping a piece of

plate at a goldsmith's stall, make four or five rings mount from the top of his caduceus, and, as if it were at

Heart, there's a knight to whom I'm bound for many favours lost his purse at the last new play i' the Swan,

A synagogue shall be call'd, Mistress Mary; disgrace me not. Pacus palabros, I will conjure for you. Farewell.

And why do the foul mouths of the world call thee Moll Cutpurse? A name, methinks, damn'd and odious.

Good my lord, let not my name condemn me to you or to the world. A fencer I hope may be call'd a coward:

is he so for that? If all that have ill names in London were to be whipp'd and to pay but twelvepence apiece to

Enter the Lord Noland and Sir Beauteous Ganymede with Mary Fitzallard between them, the citizens and