Title: The Works of Max Beerbohm
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The Works of Max Beerbohm
Max Beerbohm
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Table of Contents
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The Works of Max Beerbohm
Max Beerbohm
Dandies and Dandies
A Good Prince
1880
King George the Fourth
The Pervasion of Rouge
Poor Romeo!
Diminuendo
Bibliography
`Amid all he has here already achieved, full, we may
think, of the quiet assurance of what is to come,
his attitude is still that of the scholar; he
seems still to be saying, before all
things, from first to last, "I
am utterly purposed
that I will not
offend."'
Dandies and Dandies
How very delightful Grego's drawings are! For all their mad perspective and crude colour, they have indeed
the sentiment of style, and they reveal, with surer delicacy than does any other record, the spirit of Mr.
Brummell's day. Grego guides me, as Virgil Dante, through all the mysteries of that other world. He shows
me those stiffnecked, overhatted, waspwaisted gentlemen, drinking Burgundy in the Cafe' des Milles
Colonnes or riding through the village of Newmarket upon their fat cobs or gambling at Crockford's. Grego's
Green Room of the Opera House always delights me. The formal way in which Mdlle. Mercandotti is
standing upon one leg for the pleasure of Lord Fife and Mr. Ball Hughes; the grave regard directed by Lord
Petersham towards that pretty little maidamischief who is risking her rouge beneath the chandelier; the
unbridled decorum of Mdlle. Hullin and the decorous debauchery of Prince Esterhazy in the distance, make
altogether a quite enchanting picture. But, of the whole series, the most illuminative picture is certainly the
Ball at Almack's. In the foreground stand two little figures, beneath whom, on the nether margin, are
inscribed those splendid words, Beau Brummell in Deep Conversation with the Duchess of Rutland. The
Duchess is a girl in pink, with a great wedgecomb erect among her ringlets, the Beau tre`s de'gage', his head
averse, his chin most supercilious upon his stock, one foot advanced, the gloved fingers of one hand caught
lightly in his waistcoat; in fact, the very deuce of a pose.
In this, as in all known images of the Beau, we are struck by the utter simplicity of his attire. The `countless
rings' affected by D'Orsay, the many little golden chains, `every one of them slighter than a cobweb,' that
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Disraeli loved to insinuate from one pocket to another of his vest, would have seemed vulgar to Mr.
Brummell. For is it not to his fine scorn of accessories that we may trace that first aim of modern dandyism,
the production of the supreme effect through means the least extravagant? In certain congruities of dark cloth,
in the rigid perfection of his linen, in the symmetry of his glove with his hand, lay the secret of Mr.
Brummell's miracles. He was ever most economical, most scrupulous of means. Treatment was everything
with him. Even foolish Grace and foolish Philip Wharton, in their book about the beaux and wits of this
period, speak of his dressingroom as `a studio in which he daily composed that elaborate portrait of himself
which was to be exhibited for a few hours in the clubrooms of the town.' Mr. Brummell was, indeed, in the
utmost sense of the word, an artist. No poet nor cook nor sculptor, ever bore that title more worthily than he.
And really, outside his art, Mr. Brummell had a personality of almost Balzacian insignificance. There have
been dandies, like D'Orsay, who were nearly painters; painters, like Mr. Whistler, who wished to be dandies;
dandies, like Disraeli, who afterwards followed some less arduous calling. I fancy Mr. Brummell was a
dandy, nothing but a dandy, from his cradle to that fearful day when he lost his figure and had to flee the
country, even to that distant day when he died, a broken exile, in the arms of two religieuses. At Eton, no boy
was so successful as he in avoiding that strict alternative of study and athletics which we force upon our
youth. He once terrified a master, named Parker, by asserting that he thought cricket `foolish.' Another time,
after listening to a reprimand from the headmaster, he twitted that learned man with the asymmetry of his
neckcloth. Even in Oriel he could see little charm, and was glad to leave it, at the end of his first year, for a
commission in the Tenth Hussars. Crack though the regiment wasindeed, all the commissions were granted
by the Regent himselfyoung Mr. Brummell could not bear to see all his brother officers in clothes exactly
like his own; was quite as deeply annoyed as would be some god, suddenly entering a restaurant of many
mirrors. One day, he rode upon parade in a pale blue tunic, with silver epaulettes. The Colonel, apologising
for the narrow system which compelled him to so painful a duty, asked him to leave the parade. The Beau
saluted, trotted back to quarters and, that afternoon, sent in his papers. Henceforth he lived freely as a fop, in
his maturity, should.
His de'but in the town was brilliant and delightful. Tales of his elegance had won for him there a precedent
fame. He was reputed rich. It was known that the Regent desired his acquaintance. And thus, Fortune
speeding the wheels of his cabriolet and Fashion running to meet him with smiles and roses in St. James's, he
might well, had he been worldly or a weakling, have yielded his soul to the polite follies. But he passed them
by. Once he was settled in his suite, he never really strayed from his toilettable, save for a few brief hours.
Thrice every day of the year did he dress, and three hours were the average of his every toilet, and other hours
were spent in council with the cutter of his coats or with the custodian of his wardrobe. A single, devoted life!
To White's, to routs, to races, he went, it is true, not reluctantly. He was known to have played battledore and
shuttlecock in a moonlit garden with Mr. Previte' and some other gentlemen. His elopement with a young
Countess from a ball at Lady Jersey's was quite notorious. It was even whispered that he once, in the
company of some friends, made as though he would wrench the knocker off the door of some shop. But these
things he did, not, most certainly, for any exuberant love of life. Rather did he regard them as healthful
exercise of the body and a charm against that dreaded corpulency which, in the end, caused his downfall.
Some recreation from his work even the most strenuous artist must have; and Mr. Brummell naturally sought
his in that exalted sphere whose modish elegance accorded best with his temperament, the sphere of le plus
beau monde. General Bucknall used to growl, from the window of the Guards' Club, that such a fellow was
only fit to associate with tailors. But that was an old soldier's fallacy. The proper associates of an artist are
they who practise his own art rather than they who however honourablydo but cater for its practice. For
the rest, I am sure that Mr. Brummell was no lackey, as they have suggested. He wished merely to be seen by
those who were best qualified to appreciate the splendour of his achievements. Shall not the painter show his
work in galleries, the poet flit down Paternoster Row? Of rank, for its own sake, Mr. Brummell had no love.
He patronised all his patrons. Even to the Regent his attitude was always that of a master in an art to one who
is sincerely willing and anxious to learn from him.
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Indeed, English society is always ruled by a dandy, and the more absolutely ruled the greater that dandy be.
For dandyism, the perfect flower of outward elegance, is the ideal it is always striving to realise in its own
rather incoherent way. But there is no reason why dandyism should be confused, as it has been by nearly all
writers, with mere social life. Its contact with social life is, indeed, but one of the accidents of an art. Its
influence, like the scent of a flower, is diffused unconsciously. It has its own aims and laws, and knows none
other. And the only person who ever fully acknowledged this truth in aesthetics is, of all persons most
unlikely, the author of Sartor Resartus. That any one who dressed so very badly as did Thomas Carlyle
should have tried to construct a philosophy of clothes has always seemed to me one of the most pathetic
things in literature. He in the Temple of Vestments! Why sought he to intrude, another Clodius, upon those
mysteries and light his pipe from those ardent censers? What were his hobnails that they should mar the
pavement of that delicate Temple? Yet, for that he betrayed one secret rightly heard there, will I pardon his
sacrilege. `A dandy,' he cried through the mask of Teufelsdro"ck, `is a clotheswearing man, a man whose
trade, office, and existence consists in the wearing of clothes. Every faculty of his soul, spirit, purse, and
person is heroically consecrated to this one object, the wearing of clothes wisely and well.' Those are true
words. They are, perhaps, the only true words in Sartor Resartus. And I speak with some authority. For I
found the key to that empty book, long ago, in the lock of the author's empty wardrobe. His hat, that is still
preserved in Chelsea, formed an important clue.
But (behold!) as we repeat the true words of Teufelsdro"ck, there comes Monsieur Barbey D'Aurevilly, that
gentle moqueur, drawling, with a wave of his hand, `Les esprits qui ne voient pas les choses que par leur plus
petit co^te', ont imagine' que le Dandysme e'tait surtout l'art de la mise, une heureuse et audacieuse dictature
en fait de toilette et d'e'le'gance exte'rieure. Tre`scertainement c'est cela aussi, mais c'est bien davantage. Le
Dandysme est toute une manie`re d'e^tre et l'on n'est pas que par la co^te' mate'riellement visible. C'est une
manie`re d'e^tre entie`rement compose'e de nuances, comme il arrive toujours dans les socie'te's tre`svieilles
et tre`s civilise'es.' It is a pleasure to argue with so suave a subtlist, and we say to him that this
comprehensive definition does not please us. We say we think he errs.
Not that Monsieur's analysis of the dandiacal mind is worthless by any means. Nor, when he declares that
George Brummell was the supreme king of the dandies and fut le dandysme me^me, can I but piously lay one
hand upon the brim of my hat, the other upon my heart. But it is as an artist, and for his supremacy in the art
of costume, and for all he did to gain the recognition of costume as in itself an art, and for that superb taste
and subtle simplicity of mode whereby he was able to expel, at length, the Byzantine spirit of exuberance
which had possessed St. James's and wherefore he is justly called the Father of Modern Costume, that I do
most deeply revere him. It is not a little strange that Monsieur D'Aurevilly, the biographer who, in many
ways, does seem most perfectly to have understood Mr. Brummell, should belittle to a mere phase that which
was indeed the very core of his existence. To analyse the temperament of a great artist and then to declare
that his art was but a parta little partof his temperament, is a foolish proceeding. It is as though a man
should say that he finds, on analysis, that gunpowder is composed of potassium chloride (let me say), nitrate
and power of explosion. Dandyism is ever the outcome of a carefully cultivated temperament, not part of the
temperament itself. That manie`re d'e^tre, entie`rement compose'e de nuances, was not more, as the writer
seems to have supposed, than attributory to Mr. Brummell's art. Nor is it even peculiar to dandies. All
delicate spirits, to whatever art they turn, even if they turn to no art, assume an oblique attitude towards life.
Of all dandies, Mr. Brummell did most steadfastly maintain this attitude. Like the single minded artist that
he was, he turned full and square towards his art and looked life straight in the face out of the corners of his
eyes.
It is not hard to see how, in the effort to give Mr. Brummell his due place in history, Monsieur D'Aurevilly
came to grief. It is but strange that he should have fallen into a rather obvious trap. Surely he should have
perceived that, so long as Civilisation compels her children to wear clothes, the thoughtless multitude will
never acknowledge dandyism to be an art. If considerations of modesty or hygiene compelled every one to
stain canvas or chip marble every morning, painting and sculpture would in like manner be despised. Now, as
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these considerations do compel every one to envelop himself in things made of cloth and linen, this common
duty is confounded with that fair procedure, elaborate of many thoughts, in whose accord the fop
accomplishes his toilet, each morning afresh, Aurora speeding on to gild his mirror. Not until nudity be
popular will the art of costume be really acknowledged. Nor even then will it be approved. Communities are
ever jealous (quite naturally) of the artist who works for his own pleasure, not for theirsmore jealous by far
of him whose energy is spent only upon the glorification of himself alone. Carlyle speaks of dandyism as a
survival of `the primeval superstition, self worship.' `La vanite',' are almost the first words of Monsieur
D'Aurevilly, `c'est un sentiment contre lequel tout le monde est impitoyable.' Few remember that the dandy's
vanity is far different from the crude conceit of the merely handsome man. Dandyism is, after all, one of the
decorative arts. A fine ground to work upon is its first postulate. And the dandy cares for his physical
endowments only in so far as they are susceptible of fine results. They are just so much to him as to the
decorative artist is inilluminate parchment, the form of a white vase or the surface of a wall where frescoes
shall be.
Consider the words of Count D'Orsay, spoken on the eve of some duel, `We are not fairly matched. If I were
to wound him in the face it would not matter; but if he were to wound me, ce serait vraiment dommage!'
There we have a pure example of a dandy's peculiar vanity `It would be a real pity!' They say that D'Orsay
killed his manno matter whomin this duel. He never should have gone out. Beau Brummell never risked
his dandyhood in these mean encounters. But D'Orsay was a wayward, excessive creature, too fond of life
and other follies to achieve real greatness. The power of his predecessor, the Father of Modern Costume, is
over us yet. All that is left of D'Orsay's art is a waistcoat and a handful of ringsvain relics of no more value
for us than the fiddle of Paganini or the mask of Menischus! I think that in Carolo's painting of him, we can
see the strength, that was the weakness, of le jeune Cupidon. His fingers are closed upon his cane as upon a
sword. There is mockery in the inconstant eyes. And the lips, so used to close upon the winecup, in laughter
so often parted, they do not seem immobile, even now. Sad that one so prodigally endowed as he was, with
the three essentials of a dandyphysical distinction, a sense of beauty and wealth or, if you prefer the term,
creditshould not have done greater things. Much of his costume was merely showy or eccentric, without
the rotund unity of the perfect fop's. It had been well had he lacked that dash and spontaneous gallantry that
make him cut, it may be, a more attractive figure than Beau Brummell. The youth of St. James's gave him a
wonderful welcome. The flight of Mr. Brummell had left them as sheep without a shepherd. They had even
cried out against the inscrutable decrees of fashion and curtailed the height of their stocks. And (lo!) here,
ambling down the Mall with tasselled cane, laughing in the window at White's or in Fop's Alley posturing,
here, with the devil in his eyes and all the graces at his elbow, was D'Orsay, the prince paramount who should
dominate London and should guard life from monotony by the daring of his whims. He accepted so many
engagements that he often dressed very quickly both in the morning and at nightfall. His brilliant genius
would sometimes enable him to appear faultless, but at other times not even his fine figure could quite dispel
the shadow of a toilet too hastily conceived. Before long he took that fatal step, his marriage with Lady
Harriet Gardiner. The marriage, as we all know, was not a happy one, though the wedding was very pretty. It
ruined the life of Lady Harriet and of her mother, the Blessington. It won the poor Count further still further
from his art and sent him spinning here, there, and everywhere. He was continually at Cleveden, or Belvoir,
or Welbeck, laughing gaily as he brought down our English partridges, or at Crockford's, smiling as he swept
up our English guineas from the board. Holker declares that, excepting Mr. Turner, he was the finest
equestrian in London and describes how the mob would gather every morning round his door to see him
descend, insolent from his toilet, and mount and ride away. Indeed, he surpassed us all in all the exercises of
the body. He even essayed pree"minence in the arts (as if his own art were insufficient to his vitality!) and
was for ever penning impenuous verses for circulation among his friends. There was no great harm in this,
perhaps. Even the handwriting of Mr. Brummell was not unknown in the albums. But D'Orsay's painting of
portraits is inexcusable. The aesthetic vision of a dandy should be bounded by his own mirror. A few crayon
sketches of himselfdilectissimae imaginesare as much as he should ever do. That D'Orsay's portraits,
even his muchapproved portrait of the Duke of Wellington, are quite amateurish, is no excuse. It is the
process of painting which is repellent; to force from little tubes of lead a glutinous flamboyance and to defile,
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with the hair of a camel therein steeped, taut canvas, is hardly the diversion for a gentleman; and to have done
all this for a man who was admittedly a fieldmarshal....
I have often thought that this selfish concentration, which is a part of dandyism, is also a symbol of that
einsamkeit felt in greater or less degree by the practitioners of every art. But, curiously enough, the very unity
of his mind with the ground he works on exposes the dandy to the influence of the world. In one way
dandyism is the least selfish of all the arts. Musicians are seen and, except for a price, not heard. Only for a
price may you read what poets have written. All painters are not so generous as Mr. Watts. But the dandy
presents himself to the nation whenever he sallies from his front door. Princes and peasants alike may gaze
upon his masterpieces. Now, any art which is pursued directly under the eye of the public is always far more
amenable to fashion than is an art with which the public is but vicariously concerned. Those standards to
which artists have gradually accustomed it the public will not see lightly set at naught. Very rigid, for
example, are the traditions of the theatre. If my brother were to declaim his lines at the Haymarket in the
florotund manner of Macready, what a row there would be in the gallery! It is only by the impalpable process
of evolution that change comes to the theatre. Likewise in the sphere of costume no swift rebellion can
succeed, as was exemplified by the Prince's effort to revive kneebreeches. Had his Royal Highness elected,
in his wisdom, to wear tight trousers strapped under his boots, `smalls' might, in their turn, have reappeared,
and at lengthwho knows?kneebreeches. It is only by the trifling addition or elimination, modification
or extension, made by this or that dandy and copied by the rest, that the mode proceeds. The young dandy
will find certain laws to which he must conform. If he outrage them he will be hooted by the urchins of the
street, not unjustly, for he will have outraged the slowly constructed laws of artists who have preceded him.
Let him reflect that fashion is no bondage imposed by alien hands, but the last wisdom of his own kind, and
that true dandyism is the result of an artistic temperament working upon a fine body within the wide limits of
fashion. Through this habit of conformity, which it inculcates, the army has given us nearly all our finest
dandies, from Alcibiades to Colonel Br*b*z*n de nos jours. Even Mr. Brummell, though he defied his
Colonel, must have owed some of his success to the military spirit. Any parent intending his son to be a
dandy will do well to send him first into the army, there to learn humility, as did his archetype, Apollo, in the
house of Admetus. A sojourn at one of the Public Schools is also to be commended. The University it were
well to avoid.
Of course, the dandy, like any other artist, has moments when his own period, palling, inclines him to antique
modes. A fellowstudent once told me that, after a long vacation spent in touch with modern life, he had
hammered at the little gate of Merton and felt of a sudden his hat assume plumes and an expansive curl, the
impress of a ruff about his neck, the dangle of a cloak and a sword. I, too, have my Eliza bethan, my
Caroline moments. I have gone to bed Georgian and awoken Early Victorian. Even savagery has charmed
me. And at such times I have often wished I could find in my wardrobe suitable costumes. But these modish
regrets are sterile, after all, and comprimend. What boots it to defy the conventions of our time? The dandy is
the `child of his age,' and his best work must be produced in accord with the age's natural influence. The true
dandy must always love contemporary costume. In this age, as in all precedent ages, it is only the tasteless
who cavil, being impotent to win from it fair results. How futile their voices are! The costume of the
nineteenth century, as shadowed for us first by Mr. Brummell, so quiet, so reasonable, and, I say
emphatically, so beautiful; free from folly or affectation, yet susceptible to exquisite ordering; plastic,
austere, economical, may not be ignored. I spoke of the doom of swift rebellions, but I doubt even if any
soever gradual evolution will lead us astray from the general precepts of Mr. Brummell's code. At every step
in the progress of democracy those precepts will be strengthened. Every day their fashion is more secure,
corroborate. They are acknowledged by the world. The barbarous costumes that in bygone days were
designed by classhatred, or hatred of race, are dying, very surely dying. The costermonger with his
pearlemblazoned coat has been driven even from that Variety Stage, whereon he sought a desperate
sanctuary. The clinquant corslet of the Swiss girl just survives at bals costume's. I am told that the kilt is now
confined entirely to certain of the soldiery and to a small cult of Scotch Archai"cists. I have seen men flock
from the boulevards of one capital and from the avenues of another to be clad in Conduit Street. Even into
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Oxford, that curious little city, where nothing is ever born nor anything ever quite dies, the force of the
movement has penetrated, insomuch that tasselled cap and gown of degree are rarely seen in the streets or
colleges. In a place which was until recent times scarcely less remote, Japan, the white and scarlet gardens are
trod by men who are shod in boots like our own, who walkrather strangely stillin closecut cloth of
little colour, and stop each other from time to time, laughing to show how that they too can furl an umbrella
after the manner of real Europeans.
It is very nice, this universal acquiescence in the dress we have designed, but, if we reflect, not wonderful.
There are three apparent reasons, and one of them is aesthetic. So to clothe the body that its fineness be
revealed and its meanness veiled has been the aesthetic aim of all costume, but before our time the mean had
never been struck. The ancient Romans went too far. Muffled in the ponderous folds of a toga, Adonis might
pass for Punchinello, Punchinello for Adonis. The ancient Britons, on the other hand, did not go far enough.
And so it had been in all ages down to that bright morning when Mr. Brummell, at his mirror, conceived the
notion of trousers and simple coats. Clad according to his convention, the limbs of the weakling escape
contempt, and the athlete is unobtrusive, and all is well. But there is also a social reason for the triumph of
our costumethe reason of economy. That austerity, which has rejected from its toilet silk and velvet and all
but a few jewels, has made more ample the wardrobes of Dives, and sent forth Irus nicely dressed among his
fellows. And lastly there is a reason of psychology, most potent of all, perhaps. Is not the costume of today,
with its subtlety and sombre restraint, its quiet congruities of black and white and grey, supremely apt a
medium for the expression of modern emotion and modern thought? That aptness, even alone, would explain
its triumph. Let us be glad that we have so easy, yet so delicate, a mode of expression.
Yes! costume, dandiacal or not, is in the highest degree expressive, nor is there any type it may not express. It
enables us to classify any `professional man' at a glance, be he lawyer, leech or what not. Still more swift and
obvious is its revelation of the work and the soul of those who dress, whether naturally or for effect, without
reference to convention. The bowler of Mr. Jerome K. Jerome is a perfect preface to all his works. The silk
hat of Mr. Whistler is a real nocturne, his linen a symphony en blanc majeur. To have seen Mr. Hall Caine is
to have read his soul. His flowing, formless cloak is as one of his own novels, twentyfive editions latent in
the folds of it. Melodrama crouches upon the brim of his sombrero. His tie is a Publisher's Announcement.
His boots are Copyright. In his hand he holds the staff of The Family Herald.
But the dandy, innowise violating the laws of fashion, can make more subtle symbols of his personality.
More subtle these symbols are for the very reason that they are effected within the restrictions which are
essential to an art. Chastened of all flamboyance, they are from most men occult, obvious, it may be, only to
other artists or even only to him they symbolise. Nor will the dandy express merely a crude idea of his
personality, as does, for example, Mr. Hall Caine, dressing himself always and exactly after one pattern.
Every day as his mood has changed since his last toilet, he will vary the colour, texture, form of his costume.
Fashion does not rob him of free will. It leaves him liberty of all expression. Every day there is not one
accessory, from the butterfly that alights above his shirt front to the jewels planted in his linen, that will not
symbolise the mood that is in him or the occasion of the coming day.
On this, the psychological side of foppery, I know not one so expert as him whom, not greatly caring for
contemporary names, I will call Mr. Le V. No heroworshipper am I, but I cannot write without enthusiasm
of his simple life. He has not spurred his mind to the quest of shadows nor vexed his soul in the worship of
any gods. No woman has wounded his heart, though he has gazed gallantly into the eyes of many women,
intent, I fancy, upon his own miniature there. Nor is the incomparable set of his trousers spoilt by the
perching of any dear little child upon his knee. And so, now that he is stricken with seventy years, he knows
none of the bitterness of eld, for his toilet table is an imperishable altar, his wardrobe a quiet nursery and
very constant harem. Mr. Le V. has many disciples, young men who look to him for guidance in all that
concerns costume, and each morning come, themselves tentatively clad, to watch the perfect procedure of his
toilet and learn invaluable lessons. I myself, a lieabed, often steal out, foregoing the best hours of the day
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abed, that I may attend that leve'e. The rooms of the Master are in St. James's Street, and perhaps it were well
that I should give some little record of them and of the manner of their use. In the first room the Master
sleeps. He is called by one of his valets, at seven o'clock, to the second room, where he bathes, is shampooed,
is manicured and, at length, is enveloped in a dressinggown of white wool. In the third room is his breakfast
upon a little table and his letters and some newspapers. Leisurely he sips his chocolate, leisurely learns all
that need be known. With a cigarette he allows his temper, as informed by the news and the weather and what
not, to develop itself for the day. At length, his mood suggests, imperceptibly, what colour, what form of
clothes he shall wear. He rings for his valet`I will wear such and such a coat, such and such a tie; my
trousers shall be of this or that tone; this or that jewel shall be radiant in the folds of my tie.' It is generally
near noon that he reaches the fourth room, the dressing room. The uninitiate can hardly realise how
impressive is the ceremonial there enacted. As I write, I can see, in memory, the whole scenethe room,
severely simple, with its lemon walls and deep wardrobes of white wood, the young fops, philomathestatoi
ton neaniskon, ranged upon a long bench, rapt in wonder, and, in the middle, now sitting, now standing,
negligently, before a long mirror, with a valet at either elbow, Mr. Le V., our cynosure. There is no haste, no
faltering, when once the scheme of the day's toilet has been set. It is a calm toilet. A flower does not grow
more calmly.
Any of us, any day, may see the gracious figure of Mr. Le V., as he saunters down the slope of St. James's.
Long may the sun irradiate the surface of his tilted hat! It is comfortable to know that, though he die
tomorrow the world will not lack a most elaborate record of his foppery. All his life he has kept or, rather,
the current valets have kept for him, a Journal de Toilette. Of this there are now fifty volumes, each covering
the space of a year. Yes, fifty springs have filled his buttonhole with their violets; the snow of fifty winters
has been less white than his linen; his boots have outshone fifty sequences of summer suns, and the colours of
all those autumns have faded in the dry light of his apparel. The first page of each volume of the Journal de
Toilette bears the signature of Mr. Le V. and of his two valets. Of the other pages each is given up, as in other
diaries, to one day of the year. In ruled spaces are recorded there the cut and texture of the suit, the colour of
the tie, the form of jewellery that was worn on the day the page records. No detail is omitted and a separate
space is set aside for `Remarks.' I remember that I once asked Mr. Le V., half in jest, what he should wear on
the Judgment Day. Seriously, and (I fancied) with a note of pathos in his voice, he said to me, `Young man,
you ask me to lay bare my soul to you. If I had been a saint I should certainly wear a light suit, with a white
waistcoat and a flower, but I am no saint, sir, no saint.... I shall probably wear black trousers or trousers of
some very dark blue, and a frockcoat, tightly buttoned.' Poor old Mr. Le V.! I think he need not fear. If there
be a heaven for the soul, there must be other heavens also, where the intellect and the body shall be
consummate. In both these heavens Mr. Le V. will have his hierarchy. Of a life like his there can be no
conclusion, really. Did not even Matthew Arnold admit that conduct of a cane is threefourths of life?
Certainly Mr. Le V. is a great artist, and his supremacy is in the tact with which he suits his toilet to his
temperament. But the marvellous affinity of a dandy's mood to his daily toilet is not merely that it finds
therein its perfect echo nor that it may even be, in reflex, thereby accentuated or made less poignant. For
some years I had felt convinced that in a perfect dandy this affinity must reach a point, when the costume
itself, planned with the finest sensibility, would change with the emotional changes of its wearer,
automatically. But I felt that here was one of those boundaries, where the fields of art align with the fields of
science, and I hardly dared to venture further. Moreover, the theory was not easy to verify. I knew that,
except in some great emotional crisis, the costume could not palpably change its aspect. Here was an
impasse; for the perfect dandythe Brummell, the Mr. Le V.cannot afford to indulge in any great emotion
outside his art; like Balzac, he has not time. The gods were good to me, however. One morning near the end
of last July, they decreed that I should pass through Half Moon Street and meet there a friend who should ask
me to go with him to his club and watch for the results of the racing at Goodwood. This club includes hardly
any member who is not a devotee of the Turf, so that, when we entered it, the cloakroom displayed long
rows of unburdened pegssave where one hat shone. None but that illustrious dandy, Lord X., wears quite
so broad a brim as this hat had. I said that Lord X. must be in the club.
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`I conceive he is too nervous to be on the course,' my friend replied. `They say he has plunged up to the hilt
on today's running.'
His lordship was indeed there, fingering feverishly the sinuous ribands of the tapemachine. I sat at a little
distance, watching him. Two results straggled forth within an hour, and, at the second of these, I saw with
wonder Lord X.'s linen actually flush for a moment and then turn deadly pale. I looked again and saw that his
boots had lost their lustre. Drawing nearer, I found that grey hairs had begun to show themselves in his raven
coat. It was very painful and yet, to me, very gratifying. In the cloakroom, when I went for my own hat and
cane, there was the hat with the broad brim, and (lo!) over its iron blue surface little furrows had been
ploughed by Despair.
Rouen, 1896.
A Good Prince
I first saw him one morning of last summer, in the Green Park. Though short, even insignificant, in stature
and with an obvious tendency to be obese, he had that unruffled, Olympian air, which is so sure a sign of the
Blood Royal. In a suit of white linen he looked serenely cool, despite the heat. Perhaps I should have thought
him, had I not been versed in the Almanach de Gotha, a trifle older than he is. He did not raise his hat in
answer to my salute, but smiled most graciously and made as though he would extend his hand to me,
mistaking me, I doubt not, for one of his friends. Forthwith, a member of his suite said something to him in
an undertone, whereat he smiled again and took no further notice of me.
I do not wonder the people idolise him. His almost blameless life has been passed among them, nothing in it
hidden from their knowledge. When they look upon his dear presentment in the photographer's window
the shrewd, kindly eyes under the high forehead, the sparse locks so carefully distributedwords of loyalty
only and of admiration rise to their lips. For of all princes in modern days he seems to fulfil most perfectly
the obligation of princely rank. Ne^pios he might have been called in the heroic age, when princes were
judged according to their mastery of the sword or of the bow, or have seemed, to those mediaeval eyes that
loved to see a scholar's pate under the crown, an ignoramus. We are less exigent now. We do but ask of our
princes that they should live among us, be often manifest to our eyes, set a perpetual example of a right life.
We bid them be the ornaments of our State. Too often they do not attain to our ideal. They give, it may be, a
halfhearted devotion to soldiering, or pursue pleasure merelytales of their frivolity raising now and again
the anger of a public swift to envy them their temptations. But against this admirable Prince no such charges
can be made. Never (as yet, at least) has he cared to `play at soldiers.' By no means has he shocked the
Puritans. Though it is no secret that he prefers the society of ladies, not one breath of scandal has ever tinged
his name. Of how many English princes could this be said, in days when Figaro, quill in hand, inclines his ear
to every keyhole?
Upon the one action that were well obliterated from his record I need not long insist. It seems that the wife of
an aged exPremier came to have an audience and pay her respects. Hardly had she spoken when the Prince,
in a fit of unreasoning displeasure, struck her a violent blow with his clenched fist. Had His Royal Highness
not always stood so far aloof from political contention, it had been easier to find a motive for this unmannerly
blow. The incident is deplorable, but it belongs, after all, to an earlier period of his life; and, were it not that
no appreciation must rest upon the suppression of any scandal, I should not have referred to it. For the rest, I
find no stain, soever faint, upon his life. The simplicity of his tastes is the more admirable for that he is
known to care not at all for what may be reported in the newspapers. He has never touched a card, never
entered a playhouse. In no stud of racers has he indulged, preferring to the finest blood horse ever bred a
certain white and woolly lamb with a blue riband to its neck. This he is never tired of fondling. It is with him,
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like the roebuck of Henri Quatre, wherever he goes.
Suave and simple his life is! Narrow in range, it may be, but with every royal appurtenance of delight, for to
him Love's happy favours are given and the tribute of glad homage, always, here and there and every other
where. Round the flowergarden at Sandringham runs an old wall of red brick, streaked with ivy and topped
infrequently with balls of stone. By its iron gates, that open to a vista of flowers, stand two kind policemen,
guarding the Prince's procedure along that bright vista. As his perambulator rolls out of the gate of St. James's
Palace, he stretches out his tiny hands to the scarlet sentinels. An obsequious retinue follows him over the
lawns of the White Lodge, cooing and laughing, blowing kisses and praising him. Yet do not imagine his life
has been all gaiety! The afflictions that befall royal personages always touch very poignantly the heart of the
people, and it is not too much to say that all England watched by the cradle side of Prince Edward in that
dolorous hour, when first the little battlements rose about the rosered roof of his mouth. I am glad to think
that not one querulous word did His Royal Highness, in his great agony, utter. They only say that his loud,
incessant cries bore testimony to the perfect lungs for which the House of Hanover is most justly famed.
Irreiterate be the horror of that epoch!
As yet, when we know not even what his first words will be, it is too early to predict what verdict posterity
will pass upon him. Already he has won the hearts of the people; but, in the years which, it is to be hoped,
still await him, he may accomplish more. Attendons! He stands alone among European princesbut, as yet,
only with the aid of a chair.
London, 1895.
1880
Say, shall these things be forgotten
In the Row that men call Rotten,
Beauty Clare?Hamilton Ai"de'.
`History,' it has been said, `does not repeat itself. The historians repeat one another.' Now, there are still some
periods with which no historian has grappled, and, strangely enough, the period that most greatly fascinates
me is one of them. The labour I set myself is therefore rather Herculean. But it is also, for me, so far a labour
of love that I can quite forget or even revel in its great difficulty. I would love to have lived in those bygone
days, when first society was inducted into the mysteries of art and, not losing yet its old and elegant tenue,
babbled of blue china and white lilies, of the painter Rossetti and the poet Swinburne. It would be a splendid
thing to have seen the tableaux at Cromwell House or to have made my way through the Fancy Fair and
bartered all for a cigarette from a shepherdess; to have walked in the Park, straining my eyes for a glimpse of
the Jersey Lily; danced the livelong afternoon to the strains of the Manola Valse; clapped holes in my gloves
for Connie Gilchrist.
It is a pity that the historians have held back so long. For this period is now so remote from us that much in it
is nearly impossible to understand, more than a little must be left in the mists of antiquity that involve it. The
memoirs of the day are, indeed, many, but not exactly illuminative. From such writers as Frith, Montague
Williams or the Bancrofts, you may gain but little peculiar knowledge. That quaint old chronicler, Lucy,
dilates amusingly enough upon the frown of Sir Richard (afterwards Lord) Cross or the tearose in the Prime
Minister's buttonhole. But what can he tell us of the negotiations that led Gladstone back to public life or of
the secret councils of the Fourth Party, whereby Sir Stafford was gradually eclipsed? Good memoirs must
ever be the cumulation of gossip. Gossip (alas!) has been killed by the Press. In the tavern or the barber's
shop, all secrets passed into every ear. From newspapers how little can be culled! Manifestations are there
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made manifest to us and we are taught, with tedious iteration, the things we knew, and need not have known,
before. In my research, I have had only such poor guides as Punch, or the London Charivari and The Queen,
the Lady's Newspaper. Excavation, which in the East has been productive of rich material for the
archaeologist, was indeed suggested to me. I was told that, just before Cleopatra's Needle was set upon the
Embankment, an iron box, containing a photograph of Mrs. Langtry, some current coins and other trifles of
the time, was dropped into the foundation. I am sure much might be done with a spade, here and there, in the
neighbourhood of old Cromwell House. Accursed be the obduracy of vestries! Be not I, but they, blamed for
any error, obscurity or omission in my brief excursus.
The period of 1880 and of the two successive years should ever be memorable, for it marks a great change in
the constitution of English society. It would seem that, under the quiet re'gime of the Tory Cabinet, the upper
ten thousand (as they were quaintly called in those days,) had taken a somewhat more frigid tone. The Prince
of Wales had inclined to be restful after the revels of his youth. The prolonged seclusion of Queen Victoria,
who was then engaged upon that superb work of introspection and selfanalysis, More Leaves from the
Highlands, had begun to tell upon the social system. Balls and other festivities, both at Court and in the
houses of the nobles, were notably fewer. The vogue of the Opera was passing. Even in the top of the season,
Rotten Row, I read, was not impenetrably crowded. But in 1880 came the tragic fall of Disraeli and the
triumph of the Whigs. How great a change came then upon Westminster must be known to any one who has
studied the annals of Gladstone's incomparable Parliament. Gladstone himself, with a monstrous majority
behind him, revelling in the old splendour of speech that not seventy summers nor six years' sulking had
made less; Parnell, deadly, mysterious, with his crew of wordy peasants that were to set all Saxon things at
naughtthe activity of these two men alone would have made this Parliament supremely stimulating
throughout the land. What of young Randolph Churchill, who, despite his halting speech, foppish mien and
rather coarse fibre of mind, was yet the greatest Parliamentarian of his day? What of Justin Huntly McCarthy,
under his puerile mask a most dark, most dangerous conspirator, who, lightly swinging the sacred lamp of
burlesque, irradiated with fearful clarity the wrath and sorrow of Ireland? What of Blocker Warton? What of
the eloquent atheist, Charles Bradlaugh, pleading at the Bar, striding past the furious Tories to the very Mace,
hustled down the stone steps with the broadcloth torn in ribands from his back? Surely such scenes will never
more be witnessed at St. Stephen's. Imagine the existence of God being made a party question! No wonder
that at a time of such turbulence fine society also should have shown the primordia of a great change. It was
felt that the aristocracy could not live by goodbreeding alone. The old delights seemed vapid, waxen.
Something vivid was desired. And so the sphere of fashion converged with the sphere of art, and revolution
was the result.
Be it remembered that long before this time there had been in the heart of Chelsea a kind of cult for Beauty.
Certain artists had settled there, deliberately refusing to work in the ordinary official way, and `wrought,' as
they were wont to asseverate, `for the pleasure and sake of all that is fair.' Little commerce had they with the
brazen world. Nothing but the light of the sun would they share with men. Quietly and unbeknown, callous of
all but their craft, they wrought their poems or their pictures, gave them one to another, and wrought on.
Meredith, Rossetti, Swinburne, Morris, Holman Hunt were in this band of shy artificers. In fact, Beauty had
existed long before 1880. It was Mr. Oscar Wilde who managed her de'but. To study the period is to admit
that to him was due no small part of the social vogue that Beauty began to enjoy. Fired by his fervid words,
men and women hurled their mahogany into the streets and ransacked the curio shops for the furniture of
Annish days. Dados arose upon every wall, sunflowers and the feathers of peacocks curved in every corner,
tea grew quite cold while the guests were praising the Willow Pattern of its cup. A few fashionable women
even dressed themselves in sinuous draperies and unheardof greens. Into whatsoever ballroom you went,
you would surely find, among the women in tiaras and the fops and the distinguished foreigners, half a score
of comely ragamuffins in velveteen, murmuring sonnets, posturing, waving their hands. Beauty was sought in
the most unlikely places. Young painters found her mobled in the fogs, and bankclerks, versed in the
writings of Mr. Hamerton, were heard to declare, as they sped home from the City, that the Underground
Railway was beautiful from London Bridge to Westminster, but not from Sloane Square to Notting Hill Gate.
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Aestheticism (for so they named the movement,) did indeed permeate, in a manner, all classes. But it was to
the haut monde that its primary appeal was made. The sacred emblems of Chelsea were sold in the
fashionable toyshops, its reverently chanted creeds became the patter of the boudoirs. The old Grosvenor
Gallery, that stronghold of the few, was verily invaded. Never was such a fusion of delightful folk as at its
Private Views. There was Robert Browning, the philosopher, doffing his hat with a courtly sweep to more
than one Duchess. There, too, was Theo Marzials, poet and eccentric, and Charles Colnaghi, the hero of a
hundred teafights, and young Brookfield, the comedian, and many another good fellow. My Lord of Dudley,
the virtuoso, came there, leaning for support upon the arm of his fair young wife. Disraeli, with his lustreless
eyes and face like some seamed Hebraic parchment, came also, and whispered behind his hand to the faithful
Corry. And Walter Sickert spread the latest mot of `the Master,' who, with monocle, cane and tilted hat,
flashed through the gay mob anon.
Autrement, there was Coombe Wood, in whose shade the Lady Archibald Campbell suffered more than one
of Shakespeare's plays to be enacted. Hither, from the garish, indelicate theatre that held her languishing,
Thalia was bidden, if haply, under the open sky, she might resume her old charm. All Fashion came to marvel
and so did all the Aesthetes, in the heart of one of whose leaders, Godwin, that superb architect, the idea was
first conceived. Real Pastoral Plays! Lest the invited guests should get any noxious scent of the footlights
across the grass, only amateurs were accorded parts. They roved through a real wood, these jerkined
amateurs, with the poet's music upon their lips. Never under such dark and griddled elms had the outlaws
feasted upon their venison. Never had any Rosalind traced with such shy wonder the writing of her lover
upon the bark, nor any Orlando won such laughter for his not really sportive dalliance. Fairer than the
mummers, it may be, were the ladies who sat and watched them from the lawn. All of them wore jerseys and
tiedback skirts. Zulu hats shaded their eyes from the sun. Bangles shimmered upon their wrists. And the
gentlemen wore light frockcoats and light tophats with black bands. And the aesthetes were in velveteen,
carrying lilies.
Not that Art and Fashion shunned the theatre. They began in 1880 to affect it as never before. The one
invaded Irving's premie`res at the Lyceum. The other sang paeans in praise of the Bancrofts. The French
plays, too, were the feigned delight of all the modish world. Not to have seen Chaumont in Totot chez Tata
was held a solecism. The homely mesdames and messieurs from the Parisian boards were `lionised' (how
strangely that phrase rings to modern ears!) in ducal drawingrooms. In fact, all the old prejudice of rank was
being swept away. Even more significant than the reception of players was a certain effort, made at this time,
to raise the average of aristocratic lovelinessan effort that, but a few years before, would have been surely
scouted as quite undignified and outrageous. What the term `Professional Beauty' signified, how any lady
gained a right to it, we do not and may never know. It is certain, however, that there were many ladies of
tone, upon whom it was bestowed. They received special attention from the Prince of Wales, and hostesses
would move heaven and earth to have them in their rooms. Their photographs were on sale in the window of
every shop. Crowds assembled every morning to see them start from Rotten Row. Pree"minent among
Professional Beauties were Lady Lonsdale (afterwards Lady de Grey), Mrs. Wheeler, who always `appeared
in black,' and Mrs. Corowallis West, who was Amy Robsart in the tableaux at Cromwell House, when Mrs.
Langtry, cette Cle'opatre de son sie`cle appeared also, stepping across an artificial brook, in the pink kirtle of
Effie Deans. We may doubt whether the movement, represented by these ladies, was quite in accord with the
dignity and elegance that always should mark the best society. Any effort to make Beauty compulsory robs
Beauty of its chief charm. But, at the same time, I do believe that this movement, so far as it was informed by
a real wish to raise a practical standard of feminine charm for all classes, does not deserve the strictures that
have been passed upon it by posterity. One of its immediate sequels was the incursion of American ladies into
London. Then it was that these pretty creatures, `clad in Worth's most elegant confections,' drawled their way
through our greater portals. Fanned, as they were, by the feathers of the Prince of Wales, they had a great
success, and they were so strange that their voices and their dresses were mimicked partout. The English
beauties were rather angry, especially with the Prince, whom alone they blamed for the vogue of their rivals.
History credits His Royal Highness with many notable achievements. Not the least of these is that he
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discovered the inhabitants of America.
It will be seen that in this renaissance the keenest students of the exquisite were women. Nevertheless, men
were not idle, neither. Since the day of Mr. Brummell and King George, the noble art of self adornment had
fallen partially desuete. Great fops like Bulwer and le jeune Cupidon had come upon the town, but never had
they formed a school. Dress, therefore, had become simpler, wardrobes smaller, fashions apt to linger. In
1880 arose the sect that was soon to win for itself the title of `The Mashers.' What this title exactly signified I
suppose no two etymologists will ever agree. But we can learn clearly enough, from the fashionplates of the
day, what the Mashers were in outward semblance; from the lampoons, their mode of life. Unlike the dandies
of the Georgian era, they pretended to no classic taste and, wholly contemptuous of the Aesthetes, recognised
no art save the art of dress. Much might be written about the Mashers. The restaurantdestined to be, in
after years, so salient a delight of Londonwas not known to them, but they were often admirable upon the
steps of clubs. The Lyceum held them never, but nightly they gathered at the Gaiety Theatre. Nightly the
stalls were agog with small, sleek heads surmounting collars of interminable height. Nightly, in the foyer,
were lisped the praises of Kate Vaughan, her graceful dancing, or of Nellie Farren, her matchless fooling.
Never a night passed but the dreary stagedoor was cinct with a circlet of fools bearing bright bouquets, of
flaxenheaded fools who had feet like black needles, and graceful fools incumbent upon canes. A strange
cult! I once knew a lady whose father was actually present at the first night of `The Forty Thieves,' and fell
enamoured of one of the coryphe'es. By such links is one age joined to another.
There is always something rather absurd about the past. For us, who have fared on, the silhouette of Error is
sharp upon the past horizon. As we look back upon any period, its fashions seem grotesque, its ideals
shallow, for we know how soon those ideals and those fashions were to perish, and how rightly; nor can we
feel a little of the fervour they did inspire. It is easy to laugh at these Mashers, with their fantastic raiment and
languid lives, or at the strife of the Professional Beauties. It is easy to laugh at all that ensued when first the
mummers and the stainers of canvas strayed into Mayfair. Yet shall I laugh? For me the most romantic
moment of a pantomime is always when the winged and wired fairies begin to fade away, and, as they fade,
clown and pantaloon tumble on joppling and grimacing, seen very faintly in that indecisive twilight. The
social condition of 1880 fascinates me in the same way. Its contrasts fascinate me.
Perhaps, in my study of the period, I may have fallen so deeply beneath its spell that I have tended, now and
again, to overrate its real import. I lay no claim to the true historical spirit. I fancy it was a chalk drawing of a
girl in a mobcap, signed `Frank Miles, 1880,' that first impelled me to research. To give an accurate and
exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine. But I hope that, by dealing,
even so briefly as I have dealt, with its more strictly sentimental aspects, I may have lightened the task of the
scientific historian. And I look to Professor Gardiner and to the Bishop of Oxford.
`Cromwell House.' The residence of Lady Freake, a famous hostess of the day and founder of a brilliant
salon, `where even Royalty was sure of a welcome. The writer of a recent monograph declares that, `many a
modern hostess would do well to emulate Lady Freake, not only in her taste for the Beautiful in Art but also
for the Intellectual in Conversation.'
`Fancy Fair.' For a full account of this function, see pp. 102124 of the `Annals of the Albert Hall.'
`Jersey Lily.' A fanciful title bestowed, at this time, upon the beautiful Mrs. Langtry, who was a native of
Jersey Island.
`Manola Valse.' Supposed to have been introduced by Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, who, having heard it
in Vienna, was pleased, for a while, by its novelty, but soon reverted to the more sprightly deux temps.
`Private Views.' This passage, which I found in a contemporary chronicle, is so quaint and so instinct with the
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spirit of its time that I am fain to quote it:
`There were quaint, beautiful, extraordinary costumes walking about ultraaesthetics, artisticaesthetics,
aesthetics that made up their minds to be daring, and suddenly gave way in some important pointput a
frivolous bonnet on the top of a grave and flowing garment that Albert Durer might have designed for a
mantle. There were fashionable costumes that Mrs. Mason or Madame Eliot might have turned out that
morning. The motley crowd mingled, forming into groups, sometimes dazzling you by the array of colours
that you never thought to see in full daylight.... Canarycoloured garments flitted cheerily by garments of the
saddest green. A hat in an agony of pushes and angles was seen in company with a bonnet that was a gay
garland of flowers. A vast cape that might have enshrouded the form of a Mater Dolorosa hung by the side of
a jauntilystriped Langtryhood.'
The `Master.' By this title his disciples used to address James Whistler, the authorartist. Without echoing the
obloquy that was lavished at first nor the praise that was lavished later upon his pictures, we must admit that
he was, as least, a great master of English prose and a controversialist of no mean power.
`Masher.' One authority derives the title, rather ingeniously, from `Ma Che`re,' the mode of address used by
the gilded youth to the barmaids of the periodwhence the corruption, `Masher.' Another traces it to the
chorus of a song, which, at that time, had a great vogue in the musichalls: `I'm the slashing, dashing,
mashing Montmorency of the day.' This, in my opinion, is the safer suggestion, and may be adopted.
London, 1894.
King George The Fourth
They say that when King George was dying, a special form of prayer for his recovery, composed by one of
the Archbishops, was read aloud to him and that His Majesty, after saying Amen `thrice, with great fervour,'
begged that his thanks might be conveyed to its author. To the student of royalty in modern times there is
something rather suggestive in this incident. I like to think of the drugscented room at Windsor and of the
King, livid and immobile among his pillows, waiting, in superstitious awe, for the near moment when he
must stand, a spirit, in the presence of a perpetual King. I like to think of him following the futile prayer with
eyes and lips, and then, custom resurgent in him and a touch of pride that, so long as the blood moved ever so
little in his veins, he was still a king, expressing a desire that the dutiful feeling and admirable taste of the
Prelate should receive a suitable acknowledgment. It would have been impossible for a real monarch like
George, even after the gout had turned his thoughts heavenward, really to abase himself before his Maker.
But he could, so to say, treat with Him, as he might have treated with a fellow sovereign, in a formal way,
long after diplomacy was quite useless. How strange it must be to be a king! How delicate and difficult a task
it is to judge him! So far as I know, no attempt has been made to judge King George the Fourth fairly. The
hundred and one eulogies and lampoons, irresponsibly published during and immediately after his reign, are
not worth a wooden hoop in Hades. Mr. Percy Fitzgerald has published a history of George's reign, in which
he has so artistically subordinated his own personality to his subject, that I can scarcely find, from beginning
to end of the two bulky volumes, a single opinion expressed, a single idea, a single deduction from the
admirably ordered facts. All that most of us know of George is from Thackeray's brilliant denunciation.
Now, I yield to few in my admiration of Thackeray's powers. He had a charming style. We never find him
searching for the mot juste as for a needle in a bottle of hay. Could he have looked through a certain window
by the river at Croisset or in the quadrangle at Brasenose, how he would have laughed! He blew on his pipe,
and words came tripping round him, like children, like pretty little children who are perfectly drilled for the
dance, or came, did he will it, treading in their precedence, like kings, gloomily. And I think it is to the credit
of the reading mob that, by reason of his beautiful style, all that he said was taken for the truth, without
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questioning. But truth after all is eternal, and style transient, and now that Thackeray's style is becoming, if I
may say so, a trifle 1860, it may not be amiss that we should inquire whether his estimate of George is in
substance and fact worth anything at all. It seems to me that, as in his novels, so in his history of the four
Georges, Thackeray made no attempt at psychology. He dealt simply with types. One George he insisted
upon regarding as a buffoon, another as a yokel. The Fourth George he chose to hold up for reprobation as a
drunken, vapid cad. Every action, every phase of his life that went to disprove this view, he either suppressed
or distorted utterly. `History,' he would seem to have chuckled, `has nothing to do with the First Gentleman.
But I will give him a niche in Natural History. He shall be King of the Beasts.' He made no allowance for the
extraordinary conditions under which all monarchs live, none for the unfortunate circumstances by which
George, especially, was from the first hampered. He judged him as he judged Barnes Newcome and all the
scoundrels lie created. Moreover, he judged him by the moral standard of the Victorian Age. In fact, he
applied to his subject the wrong method, in the wrong manner, and at the wrong time. And yet every one has
taken him at his word. I feel that my essay may be scouted as a paradox; but I hope that many may recognise
that I am not, out of mere boredom, endeavouring to stop my ears against popular platitude, but rather, in a
spirit of real earnestness, to point out to the mob how it has been cruel to George. I do not despair of success.
I think I shall make converts. The mob is really very fickle and sometimes cheers the truth.
None, at all events, will deny that England stands today otherwise than she stood a hundred and thirtytwo
years ago, when George was born. Today we are living a decadent life. All the while that we are prating of
progress, we are really so deteriorate! There is nothing but feebleness in us. Our youths, who spend their days
in trying to build up their constitutions by sport or athletics and their evenings in undermining them with
poisonous and dyed drinks; our daughters, who are ever searching for some new quack remedy for new
imaginary megrim, what strength is there in them? We have our societies for the prevention of this and the
promotion of that and the propagation of the other, because there are no individuals among us. Our sexes are
already nearly assimilate. Women are becoming nearly as rare as ladies, and it is only at the musichalls that
we are privileged to see strong men. We are born into a poor, weak age. We are not strong enough to be
wicked, and the Nonconformist Conscience makes cowards of us all.
But this was not so in the days when George was walking by his tutor's side in the gardens of Kew or of
Windsor. London must have been a splendid place in those daysfull of life and colour and wrong and
revelry. There was no absurd press nor vestry to protect the poor at the expense of the rich and see that
everything should be neatly adjusted. Every man had to shift for himself and, consequently, men were, as Mr.
Clement Scott would say, manly, and women, as Mr. Clement Scott would say, womanly. In those days, a
young man of wealth and family found open to him a vista of such licence as had been unknown to any since
the barbatuli of the Roman Empire. To spend the early morning with his valet, gradually assuming the rich
apparel that was not then tabooed by a hard sumptuary standard; to saunter round to White's for ale and
tittletattle and the making of wagers; to attend a `drunken de'jeuner' in honour of `la tre`s belle Rosaline' or
the Strappini; to drive some fellowfool far out into the country in his pretty curricle, `followed by two
welldressed and wellmounted grooms, of singular elegance certainly,' and stop at every tavern on the road
to curse the host for not keeping better ale and a wench of more charm; to reach St. James's in time for a
random toilet and so off to dinner. Which of our dandies could survive a day of pleasure such as this? Which
would be ready, dinner done, to scamper off again to Ranelagh and dance and skip and sup in the rotunda
there? Yet the youth of that period would not dream of going to bed or ever he had looked in at
Crockford'stanta lubido rerumfor a few hours' faro.
This was the kind of life that young George found opened to him, when, at length, in his nineteenth year, they
gave him an establishment in Buckingham House. How his young eyes must have sparkled, and with what
glad gasps must he have taken the air of freedom into his lungs! Rumour had long been busy with the damned
surveillance under which his childhood had been passed. A paper of the time says significantly that `the
Prince of Wales, with a spirit which does him honour, has three times requested a change in that system.'
King George had long postponed permission for his son to appear at any balls, and the year before had only
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given it, lest he should offend the Spanish Minister, who begged it as a personal favour. I know few pictures
more pathetic than that of George, then an overgrown boy of fourteen, tearing the childish frill from around
his neck and crying to one of the Royal servants, `See how they treat me! `Childhood has always seemed to
me the tragic period of life. To be subject to the most odious espionage at the one age when you never dream
of doing wrong, to be deceived by your parents, thwarted of your smallest wish, oppressed by the terrors of
manhood and of the world to come, and to believe, as you are told, that childhood is the only happiness
known; all this is quite terrible. And all Royal children, of whom I have read, particularly George, seem to
have passed through greater trials in childhood than do the children of any other class. Mr. Fitzgerald,
hazarding for once an opinion, thinks that `the stupid, odious, German, sergeantsystem of discipline that had
been so rigorously applied was, in fact, responsible for the blemishes of the young Prince's character.' Even
Thackeray, in his essay upon George III., asks what wonder that the son, finding himself free at last, should
have plunged, without looking, into the vortex of dissipation. In Torrens' Life of Lord Melbourne we learn
that Lord Essex, riding one day with the King, met the young Prince wearing a wig, and that the culprit, being
sternly reprimanded by his father, replied that he had `been ordered by his doctor to wear a wig, for he was
subject to cold.' Whereupon the King, to vent the aversion he already felt for his son, or, it may have been,
glorying in the satisfactory result of his discipline, turned to Lord Essex and remarked, `A lie is ever ready
when it is wanted.' George never lost this earlyingrained habit of lies. It is to George's childish fear of his
guardians that we must trace that extraordinary power of bamboozling his courtiers, his ministry, and his
mistresses that distinguished him through his long life. It is characteristic of the man that he should himself
have bitterly deplored his own untruthfulness. When, in after years, he was consulting Lady Spencer upon the
choice of a governess for his child, he made this remarkable speech, `Above all, she must be taught the truth.
You know that I don't speak the truth and my brothers don't, and I find it a great defect, from which I would
have my daughter free. We have been brought up badly, the Queen having taught us to equivocate.' You may
laugh at the picture of the little chubby, curly headed fellows learning to equivocate at their mother's knee,
but pray remember that the wisest master of ethics himself, in his theory of hexeis apodeiktikai, similarly
raised virtues, such as telling the truth, to the level of regular accomplishments, and, before you judge poor
George harshly in his entanglements of lying, think of the cruelly unwise education he had undergone.
However much we may deplore this exaggerated tyranny, by reason of its evil effect upon his moral nature,
we cannot but feel glad that it existed, to afford a piquant contrast to the life awaiting him. Had he passed
through the callow dissipations of Eton and Oxford, like other young men of his age, he would assuredly
have lacked much of that splendid, pent vigour with which he rushed headlong into London life. He was so
young and so handsome and so strong, that can we wonder if all the women fell at his feet? `The graces of his
person,' says one whom he honoured by an intrigue, `the irresistible sweetness of his smile, the tenderness of
his melodious, yet manly voice, will be remembered by me till every vision of this changing scene are
forgotten. The polished and fascinating ingenuousness of his manners contributed not a little to enliven our
promenade. He sang with exquisite taste, and the tones of his voice, breaking on the silence of the night, have
often appeared to my entranced senses like more than mortal melody.' But besides his graces of person, he
had a most delightful wit, he was a scholar who could bandy quotations with Fox or Sheridan, and, like the
young men of today, he knew all about Art. He spoke French, Italian, and German perfectly. Crossdill had
taught him the violoncello. At first, as was right for one of his age, he cared more for the pleasures of the
table and of the ring, for cards and love. He was wont to go down to Ranelagh surrounded by a retinue of
bruisersrapscallions, such as used to follow Clodius through the streets of Romeand he loved to join in
the scuffles like any commoner. Pugilism he learnt from Angelo, and he was considered by some to be a fine
performer. On one occasion, too, at an exposition d'escrime, when he handled the foils against the mai^tre, he
`was highly complimented upon his graceful postures.' In fact, despite all his accomplishments, he seems to
have been a thoroughly manly young fellow. He was just the kind of figurehead Society had long been in
need of. A certain lack of tone had crept into the amusements of the haut monde, due, doubtless, to the lack of
an acknowledged leader. The King was not yet mad, but he was always bucolic, and socially out of the
question. So at the coming of his son Society broke into a gallop. Balls and masquerades were given in his
honour night after night. Good Samaritans must have approved when they found that at these entertainments
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great ladies and courtesans brushed beautiful shoulders in utmost familiarity, but those who delighted in the
high charm of society probably shook their heads. We need not, however, find it a flaw in George's social
bearing that he did not check this kind of freedom. At the first, as a young man full of life, of course he took
everything as it came, joyfully. No one knew better than he did, in later life, that there is a time for laughing
with great ladies and a time for laughing with courtesans. But as yet it was not possible for him to exert
influence. How great that influence became I will suggest hereafter.
I like to think of him as he was at this period, charging about, in pursuit of pleasure, like a young bull. The
splendid taste for building had not yet come to him. His father would not hear of him patronising the Turf.
But already he was implected with a passion for dress and seems to have erred somewhat on the side of
dressing up, as is the way of young men. It is fearful to think of him, as Cyrus Redding saw him, `arrayed in
deepbrown velvet, silver embroidered, with cutsteel buttons, and a gold net thrown over all.' Before that
`gold net thrown over all,' all the mistakes of his afterlife seem to me to grow almost insignificant. Time,
however, toned his too florid sense of costume, and we should at any rate be thankful that his imagination
never deserted him. All the delightful munditiae that we find in the contemporary `fashionplates for
gentlemen' can be traced to George himself. His were the muchapproved `quadruple stock of great
dimension,' the `cocked greybeaver,' `the pantaloons of mauve silk negligently crinkled' and any number of
other little pomps and foibles of the kind. As he grew older and was obliged to abandon many of his more
vigorous pastimes, he grew more and more enamoured of the pleasures of the wardrobe. He would spend
hours, it is said, in designing coats for his friends, liveries for his servants, and even uniforms. Nor did he
ever make the mistake of giving away outmoded clothes to his valets, but kept them to form what must have
been the finest collection of clothes that has been seen in modern times. With a sentimentality that is
characteristic of him, he would often, as he sat, crippled by gout, in his room at Windsor, direct his servant to
bring him this or that coat, which he had worn ten or twenty or thirty years before, and, when it was brought
to him, spend much time in laughing or sobbing over the memories that lay in its folds. It is pleasant to know
that George, during his long and various life, never forgot a coat, however long ago worn, however seldom.
But in the early days of which I speak he had not yet touched that selfconscious note which, in manner and
mode of life, as well as in costume, he was to touch later. He was too violently enamoured of all around him,
to think very deeply of himself. But he had already realised the tragedy of the voluptuary, which is, after a
little time, not that he must go on living, but that he cannot live in two places at once. We have, at this end of
the century, tempered this tragedy by the perfection of railways, and it is possible for our good Prince, whom
Heaven bless, to waken to the sound of the Braemar bagpipes, while the music of Mdlle. Guilbert's latest
song, cooed over the footlights of the Concerts Parisiens, still rings in his ears. But in the time of our Prince's
illustrious greatuncle there were not railways; and we find George perpetually driving, for wagers, to
Brighton and back (he had already acquired that taste for Brighton which was one of his most loveable
qualities) in incredibly short periods of time. The rustics who lived along the road were well accustomed to
the sight of a high, tremulous phaeton flashing past them, and the crimson face of the young Prince bending
over the horses. There is something absurd in representing George as, even before he came of age, a hardened
and cynical profligate, an Elagabalus in trousers. His blood flowed fast enough through his veins. All his
escapades were those of a healthful young man of the time. Need we blame him if he sought, every day, to
live faster and more fully?
In a brief essay like this, I cannot attempt to write, as I hope one day to do, in any detail a history of George's
career, during the time when he was successively Prince of Wales and Regent and King. Merely is it my wish
at present to examine some of the principal accusations that have been brought against him, and to point out
in what ways he has been harshly and hastily judged. Perhaps the greatest indignation against him was, and is
to this day, felt by reason of his treatment of his two wives, Mrs. Fitzherbert and Queen Caroline. There are
some scandals that never grow old, and I think the story of George's married life is one of them. It was a real
scandal. I can feel it. It has vitality. Often have I wondered whether the blood with which the young Prince's
shirt was saturate when Mrs. Fitzherbert was first induced to visit him at Carlton House, was merely red
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paint, or if, in a frenzy of love, he had truly gashed himself with a razor. Certain it is that his passion for the
virtuous and obdurate lady was a very real one. Lord Holland describes how the Prince used to visit Mrs.
Fox, and there indulge in `the most extravagant expressions and actions rolling on the floor, striking his
forehead, tearing his hair, falling into hysterics, and swearing that he would abandon the country, forego the
crown, He was indeed still a child, for Royalties, not being ever brought into contact with the realities of life,
remain young far longer than other people. Cursed with a truly royal lack of self control, he was unable to
bear the idea of being thwarted in any wish. Every day he sent off couriers to Holland, whither Mrs.
Fitzherbert had retreated, imploring her to return to him, offering her formal marriage. At length, as we know,
she yielded to his importunity and returned. It is difficult indeed to realise exactly what was Mrs. Fitzherbert's
feeling in the matter. The marriage must be, as she knew, illegal, and would lead, as Charles James Fox
pointed out in his powerful letter to the Prince, to endless and intricate difficulties. For the present she could
only live with him as his mistress. If, when he reached the legal age of twentyfive, he were to apply to
Parliament for permission to marry her, how could permission be given, when she had been living with him
irregularly? Doubtless, she was flattered by the attentions of the Heir to the Throne, but, had she really
returned his passion, she would surely have preferred `any other species of connection with His Royal
Highness to one leading to so much misery and mischief.' Really to understand her marriage, one must look
at the portraits of her that are extant. That beautiful and silly face explains much. One can well fancy such a
lady being pleased to live after the performance of a mockceremony with a prince for whom she felt no
passion. Her view of the matter can only have been social, for, in the eyes of the Church, she could only live
with the Prince as his mistress. Society, however, once satisfied that a ceremony of some kind had been
enacted, never regarded her as anything but his wife. The day after Fox, inspired by the Prince, had formally
denied that any ceremony had taken place, `the knocker of her door,' to quote her own complacent phrase,
`was never still.' The Duchesses of Portland, Devonshire and Cumberland were among her visitors.
How much poplimbo has been talked about the Prince's denial of the marriage! I grant that it was highly
improper to marry Mrs. Fitzherbert at all. But George was always weak and wayward, and he did, in his great
passion, marry her. That he should afterwards deny it officially seems to me to have been utterly inevitable.
His denial did her not the faintest damage, as I have pointed out. It was, so to speak, an official quibble,
rendered necessary by the circumstances of the case. Not to have denied the marriage in the House of
Commons would have meant ruin to both of them. As months passed, more serious difficulties awaited the
unhappily wedded pair. What boots it to repeat the story of the Prince's great debts and desperation? It was
clear that there was but one way of getting his head above water, and that was to yield to his father's wishes
and contract a real marriage with a foreign princess. Fate was dogging his footsteps relentlessly. Placed as he
was, George could not but offer to marry as his father willed. It is well, also, to remember that George was
not ruthlessly and suddenly turning his shoulder upon Mrs. Fitzherbert. For some time before the British
plenipotentiary went to fetch him a bride from over the waters, his name had been associated with that of the
beautiful and unscrupulous Countess of Jersey.
Poor George! Halfmarried to a woman whom he no longer worshipped, compelled to marry a woman whom
he was to hate at first sight! Surely we should not judge a prince harshly. `Princess Caroline very gauche at
cards,' `Princess Caroline very missish at supper,' are among the entries made in his diary by Lord
Malmesbury, while he was at the little German Court. I can conceive no scene more tragic than that of her
presentation to the Prince, as related by the same nobleman. `I, according to the established etiquette,' so he
writes, `introduced the Princess Caroline to him. She, very properly, in consequence of my saying it was the
right mode of proceeding, attempted to kneel to him. He raised her gracefully enough, and embraced her, said
barely one word, turned round, retired to a distant part of the apartment, and calling to me, said: `Harris, I am
not well: pray get me a glass of brandy.' At dinner that evening, in the presence of her betrothed, the Princess
was `flippant, rattling, affecting wit.' Poor George, I say again! Deportment was his ruling passion, and his
bride did not know how to behave. Vulgarityhard, implacable, German vulgaritywas in everything she
did to the very day of her death. The marriage was solemnised on Wednesday, April 8th, 1795, and the royal
bridegroom was drunk.
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So soon as they were separated, George became implected with a morbid hatred for his wife, which was
hardly in accord with his light and variant nature and shows how bitterly he had been mortified by his
marriage of necessity. It is sad that so much of his life should have been wasted in futile strainings after
divorce. Yet we can scarcely blame him for seizing upon every scrap of scandal that was whispered of his
wife. Besides his not unnatural wish to be free, it was derogatory to the dignity of a prince and a regent that
his wife should be living an eccentric life at Blackheath with a family of singers named Sapio. Indeed,
Caroline's conduct during this time was as indiscreet as ever. Wherever she went she made ribald jokes about
her husband, `in such a voice that all, bystanding, might hear.' `After dinner,' writes one of her servants,
`Her Royal Highness made a wax figure as usual, and gave it an amiable pair of large horns; then took three
pins out of her garment and stuck them through and through, and put the figure to roast and melt at the fire.
What a silly piece of spite! Yet it is impossible not to laugh when one sees it done.' Imagine the feelings of
the First Gentleman in Europe when the unseemly story of these pranks was whispered to him!
For my own part, I fancy Caroline was innocent of any infidelity to her unhappy husband. But that is neither
here nor there. Her behaviour was certainly not above suspicion. It fully justified George in trying to establish
a case for her divorce. When, at length, she went abroad, her vagaries were such that the whole of her English
suite left her, and we hear of her travelling about the Holy Land attended by another family, named Bergami.
When her husband succeeded to the throne, and her name was struck out of the liturgy, she despatched
expostulations in absurd English to Lord Liverpool. Receiving no answer, she decided to return and claim her
right to be crowned Queen of England. Whatever the unhappy lady did, she always was ridiculous. One
cannot but smile as one reads of her posting along the French roads in a yellow travellingchariot drawn by
carthorses, with a retinue that included an alderman, a reclaimed ladyinwaiting, an Italian count, the
eldest son of the alderman, and `a fine little female child, about three years old, whom Her Majesty, in
conformity with her benevolent practices on former occasions, had adopted.' The breakdown of her
impeachment, and her acceptance of an income formed a fitting anti climax to the terrible absurdities of her
position. She died from the effects of a chill caught when she was trying vainly to force a way to her
husband's coronation. Unhappy woman! Our sympathy for her is not misgiven. Fate wrote her a most
tremendous tragedy, and she played it in tights. Let us pity her, but not forget to pity her husband, the King,
also.
It is another common accusation against George that he was an undutiful and unfeeling son. If this was so, it
is certain that not all the blame is to be laid upon him alone. There is more than one anecdote which shows
that King George disliked his eldest son, and took no trouble to conceal his dislike, long before the boy had
been freed from his tutors. It was the coldness of his father and the petty restrictions he loved to enforce that
first drove George to seek the companionship of such men as Egalite' and the Duke of Cumberland, both of
whom were quick to inflame his impressionable mind to angry resentment. Yet, when Margaret Nicholson
attempted the life of the King, the Prince immediately posted off from Brighton that he might wait upon his
father at Windsora graceful act of piety that was rewarded by his father's refusal to see him. Hated by the
Queen, who at this time did all she could to keep her husband and his son apart, surrounded by intriguers,
who did all they could to set him against his father, George seems to have behaved with great discretion. In
the years that follow, I can conceive no position more difficult than that in which he found himself every time
his father relapsed into lunacy. That he should have by every means opposed those who through jealousy
stood between him and the regency was only natural. It cannot be said that at any time did he show anxiety to
rule, so long as there was any immediate chance of the King's recovery. On the contrary, all impartial seers of
that chaotic Court agreed that the Prince bore himself throughout the intrigues, wherein he himself was bound
to be, in a notably filial way.
what I most of all regret is the part that he played in the politics of the period. Englishmen today have at
length decided that Royalty shall not set foot in the political arena. I do not despair that some day we shall
place politics upon a sound commercial basis, as they have already done in America and France, or leave
them entirely in the hands of the police, as they do in Russia. It is horrible to think that, under our existing
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re'gime, all the men of noblest blood and highest intellect should waste their time in the sordid atmosphere of
the House of Commons, listening for hours to nonentities talking nonsense, or searching enormous volumes
to prove that somebody said something some years ago that does not quite tally with something he said the
other day, or standing tremulous before the whips in the lobbies and the scorpions in the constituencies. In the
political machine are crushed and lost all our best men. That Mr. Gladstone did not choose to be a cardinal is
a blow under which the Roman Catholic Church still staggers. In Mr. Chamberlain Scotland Yard missed its
smartest detective. What a fine voluptuary might Lord Rosebery have been! It is a platitude that the country is
ruled best by the permanent officials, and I look forward to the time when Mr. Keir Hardie shall hang his cap
in the hall of No. 10 Downing Street, and a Conservative working man shall lead Her Majesty's Opposition.
In the lifetime of George, politics were not a whit finer than they are to day. I feel a genuine indignation that
he should have wasted so much of tissue in mean intrigues about ministries and bills. That he should have
been fascinated by that splendid fellow, Fox, is quite right. That he should have thrown himself with all his
heart into the storm of the Westminster election is most natural. But it is awful inverideed to find him, long
after he had reached man's estate, indulging in backstair intrigues with Whigs and Tories. It is, of course,
absurd to charge him with deserting his first friends, the Whigs. His love and fidelity were given, not to the
Whigs, but to the men who led them. Even after the death of Fox, he did, in misplaced piety, do all he could
for Fox's party. What wonder that, when he found he was ignored by the Ministry that owed its existence to
him, he turned his back upon that sombre couple, the `Lords G. and G.,' whom he had always hated, and went
over to the Tories? Among the Tories he hoped to find men who would faithfully perform their duties and
leave him leisure to live his own beautiful life. I regret immensely that his part in politics did not cease here.
The state of the country and of his own finances, and also, I fear, a certain love that he had imbibed for
political manipulation, prevented him from standing aside. How useless was all the finesse he displayed in
the longdrawn question of Catholic Emancipation! How lamentable his terror of Lord Wellesley's rude
dragooning! And is there not something pitiable in the thought of the Regent at a time of ministerial
complications lying prone on his bed with a sprained ankle, and taking, as was whispered, in one day as many
as seven hundred drops of laudanum? Some said he took these doses to deaden the pain. But others, and
among them his brother Cumberland, declared that the sprain was all a sham. I hope it was. The thought of a
voluptuary in pain is very terrible. In any case, I cannot but feel angry, for George's own sake and that of his
kingdom, that he found it impossible to keep further aloof from the wearisome troubles of political life. His
wretched indecision of character made him an easy prey to unscrupulous ministers, while his extraordinary
diplomatic powers and almost extravagant tact made them, in their turn, an easy prey to him. In these two
processes much of his genius was spent untimely. I must confess that he did not quite realise where his duties
ended. He wished always to do too much. If you read his repeated appeals to his father that he might be
permitted to serve actively in the British army against the French, you will acknowledge that it was through
no fault of his own that he did not fight. It touches me to think that in his declining years he actually thought
that he had led one of the charges at Waterloo. He would often describe the whole scene as it appeared to him
at that supreme moment, and refer to the Duke of Wellington, saying, `Was it not so, Duke?' `I have often
heard you say so, your Majesty,' the old soldier would reply, grimly. I am not sure that the old soldier was at
Waterloo himself. In a room full of people he once referred to the battle as having been won upon the
playing fields of Eton. This was certainly a most unfortunate slip, seeing that all historians are agreed that it
was fought on a certain field situate a few miles from Brussels.
In one of his letters to the King, craving for a military appointment, George urges that, whilst his next
brother, the Duke of York, commanded the army, and the younger branches of the family were either
generals or lieutenantgenerals, he, who was Prince of Wales, remained colonel of dragoons. And herein,
could he have known it, lay the right limitation of his life. As Royalty was and is constituted, it is for the
younger sons to take an active part in the services, whilst the eldest son is left as the ruler of Society.
Thousands and thousands of guineas were given by the nation that the Prince of Wales, the Regent, the King,
might be, in the best sense of the word, ornamental. It is not for us, at this moment, to consider whether
Royalty, as a wholly Pagan institution, is not out of place in a community of Christians. It is enough that we
should inquire whether the god, whom our grand fathers set up and worshipped and crowned with offerings,
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gave grace to his worshippers.
That George was a moral man, in our modern sense, I do not for one moment pretend. It were idle to deny
that he was profligate. When he died there were found in one of his cabinets more than a hundred locks of
women's hair. Some of these were still plastered with powder and pomatum, some were mere little golden
curls, such as grow low down upon a girl's neck, others were streaked with grey. The whole of this collection
subsequently passed into the hands of Adam, the famous Scotch henchman of the Regent. In his family, now
resident in Glasgow, it is treasured as an heirloom. I myself have been privileged to look at all these locks of
hair, and I have seen a clairvoyante take them one by one, and, pinching them between her lithe fingers, tell
of the love that each symbolised. I have heard her tell of long rides by night, of a boudoir hung with
grassgreen satin, and of a tryst at Windsor; of one, the wife of a hussar at York, whose little lapdog used to
bark angrily whenever the Regent came near his mistress; of a milkmaid who, in her great simpleness,
thought her child would one day be King of England; of an archduchess with blue eyes, and a silly little
flautist from Portugal; of women that were wantons and fought for his favour, great ladies that he loved
dearly, girls that gave themselves to him humbly. If we lay all pleasures at the feet of our Prince, we can
scarcely hope he will remain virtuous. Indeed, we do not wish our Prince to be an examplar of godliness, but
a perfect type of happiness. It may be foolish of us to insist upon apolaustic happiness, but that is the kind of
happiness that we can ourselves, most of us, best understand, and so we offer it to our ideal. In Royalty we
find our Bacchus, our Venus.
Certainly George was, in the practical sense of the word, a fine king. His wonderful physique, his wealth, his
brilliant talents, he gave them all without stint to Society. From the time when, at Madame Cornelys', he
gallivanted with rips and demireps, to the time when he sat, a stout and solitary old king, fishing in the
artificial pond at Windsor, his life was beautifully ordered. He indulged to the full in all the delights that
England could offer him. That he should have, in his old age, suddenly abandoned his career of vigorous
enjoyment is, I confess, rather surprising. The Royal voluptuary generally remains young to the last. No one
ever tires of pleasure. It is the pursuit of pleasure, the trouble to grasp it, that makes us old. Only the soldiers
who enter Capua with wounded feet leave it demoralised. And yet George, who never had to wait or fight for
a pleasure, fell enervate long before his death. I can but attribute this to the constant persecution to which he
was subjected by duns and ministers, parents and wives.
Not that I regret the manner in which he spent his last years. On the contrary, I think it was exceedingly cosy.
I like to think of the King, at Windsor, lying abed all the morning in his darkened room, with all the sporting
papers scattered over his quilt and a little decanter of the favourite cherrybrandy within easy reach. I like to
think of him sitting by his fire in the afternoon and hearing his ministers ask for him at the door and piling
another log upon the fire, as he heard them sent away by his servant. It was not, I acknowledge, a life to
kindle popular enthusiasm. But most people knew little of its mode. For all they knew, His Majesty might
have been making his soul or writing his memoirs. In reality, George was now `too fat by far' to brook the
observation of casual eyes. Especially he hated to be seen by those whose memories might bear them back to
the time when he had yet a waist. Among his elaborate precautions of privacy was a pair of avantcouriers,
who always preceded his pony chaise in its daily progress through Windsor Great Park and had strict
commands to drive back any intruder. In The Veiled Majestic Man, Where is the Graceful Despot of
England? and other lampoons not extant, the scribblers mocked his loneliness. At White's, one evening, four
gentlemen of high fashion vowed, over their wine, they would see the invisible monarch. So they rode down
next day to Windsor, and secreted themselves in the branches of a holmoak. Here they waited perdus,
beguiling the hours and the frost with their flasks. When dusk was falling, they heard at last the chime of
hoofs on the hard road, and saw presently a splash of the Royal livery, as two grooms trotted by, peering
warily from side to side, and disappeared in the gloom. The conspirators in the tree held their breath, till they
caught the distant sound of wheels. Nearer and louder came the sound, and soon they saw a white,
postillioned pony, a chaise and, yes, girth immensurate among the cushions, a weary monarch, whose face,
crimson above the dark accumulation of his stock, was like some ominous sunset.... He had passed them and
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they had seen him, monstrous and moribund among the cushions. He had been borne past them like a
wounded Bacchanal. The King! The Regent!... They shuddered in the frosty branches. The night was
gathering and they climbed silently to the ground, with an awful, indispellible image before their eyes.
You see, these gentlemen were not philosophers. Remember, also, that the strangeness of their escapade, the
cramped attitude they had been compelled to maintain in the branches of the holmoak, the intense cold and
their frequent resort to the flask must have all conspired to exaggerate their emotions and prevent them from
looking at things in a rational way. After all, George had lived his life. He had lived more fully than any other
man. And it was better really that his death should be preceded by decline. For every one, obviously, the most
desirable kind of death is that which strikes men down, suddenly, in their prime. Had they not been so
dangerous, railways would never have ousted the old coaches from popular favour. But, however keenly we
may court such a death for ourselves or for those who are near and dear to us, we must always be offended
whenever it befall one in whom our interest is aesthetic merely. Had his father permitted George to fight at
Waterloo, and had some fatal bullet pierced the padding of that splendid breast, I should have been really
annoyed, and this essay would never have been written. Sudden death mars the unity of an admirable life.
Natural decline, tapering to tranquillity, is its proper end. As a man's life begins, faintly, and gives no token
of childhood's intensity and the expansion of youth and the perfection of manhood, so it should also end,
faintly. The King died a death that was like the calm conclusion of a great, lurid poem. Quievit.
Yes, his life was a poem, a poem in the praise of Pleasure. And it is right that we should think of him always
as the great voluptuary. Only let us note that his nature never became, as do the natures of most voluptuaries,
corroded by a cruel indifference to the happiness of others. When all the town was agog for the fe^te to be
given by the Regent in honour of the French King, Sheridan sent a forged card of invitation to Romeo Coates,
the halfwitted dandy, who used at this time to walk about in absurd ribbons and buckles, and was the butt of
all the streetsters. The poor fellow arrived at the entrance of Carlton House, proud as a peacock, and he was
greeted with a tremendous cheer from the bystanding mob, but when he came to the lackeys he was told that
his card was a hoax and sent about his business. The tears were rolling down his cheeks as he shambled back
into the street. The Regent heard later in the evening of this sorry joke, and next day despatched a
kindlyworded message, in which he prayed that Mr. Coates would not refuse to come and `view the
decorations, nevertheless.' Though he does not appear to have treated his inferiors with the extreme servility
that is now in vogue, George was beloved by the whole of his household, and many are the little tales that are
told to illustrate the kindliness and consideration he showed to his valets and his jockeys and his stableboys.
That from time to time he dropped certain of his favourites is no cause for blaming him. Remember that a
Great Personage, like a great genius, is dangerous to his fellowcreatures. The favourites of Royalty live in
an intoxicant atmosphere. They become unaccountable for their behaviour. Either they get beyond
themselves, and, like Brummell, forget that the King, their friend, is also their master, or they outrun the
constable and go bankrupt, or cheat at cards in order to keep up their position, or do some other foolish thing
that makes it impossible for the King to favour them more. Old friends are generally the refuge of unsociable
persons. Remembering this also, gauge the temptation that besets the very leader of Society to form fresh
friendships, when all the cleverest and most charming persons in the land are standing ready, like supers at
the wings, to come on and please him! At Carlton House there was a constant succession of wits. Minds were
preserved for the Prince of Wales, as coverts are preserved for him today. For him Sheridan would flash his
best bonmot, and Theodore Hook play his most practical joke, his swiftest chansonette. And Fox would talk,
as only he could, of Liberty and of Patriotism, and Byron would look more than ever like Isidore de Lara as
he recited his own bad verses, and Sir Walter Scott would `pour out with an endless generosity his store of
oldworld learning, kindness, and humour.' Of such men George was a splendid patron. He did not merely sit
in his chair, gaping princely at their wit and their wisdom, but quoted with the scholars and argued with the
statesmen and jested with the wits. Doctor Burney, an impartial observer, says that he was amazed by the
knowledge of music that the Regent displayed in a half hour's discussion over the wine. Croker says that
`the Prince and Scott were the two most brilliant storytellers, in their several ways, he had ever happened to
meet. Both exerted themselves, and it was hard to say which shone the most.' Indeed His Royal Highness
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appears to have been a fine conversationalist, with a wide range of knowledge and great humour. We, who
have come at length to look upon stupidity as one of the most sacred prerogatives of Royalty, can scarcely
realise that, if George's birth had been never so humble, he would have been known to us as a most admirable
scholar and wit, or as a connoisseur of the arts. It is pleasing to think of his love for the Flemish school of
painting, for Wilkie and Sir Thomas Lawrence. The splendid portraits of foreign potentates that hang in the
Banqueting Room at Windsor bear witness to his sense of the canvas. In his later years he exerted himself
strenuously in raising the tone of the drama. His love of the classics never left him. We know he was fond of
quoting those incomparable poets, Homer, at great length, and that he was prominent in the `papyruscraze.'
Indeed, he inspired Society with a love of something more than mere pleasure, a love of the `humaner
delights.' He was a giver of tone. At his coming, the bluff, disgusting ways of the Tom and Jerry period gave
way to those florid graces that are still called Georgian.
A pity that George's predecessor was not a man, like the Prince Consort, of strong chastening influence! Then
might the bright flamboyance which he gave to Society have made his reign more beautiful than any
othera real renaissance. But he found London a wild city of taverns and cockpits, and the grace which in
the course of years he gave to his subjects never really entered into them. The cockpits were gilded and the
taverns painted with colour, but the heart of the city was vulgar, even as before. The simulation of higher
things did indeed give the note of a very interesting period, but how shallow that simulation was and how
merely it was due to George's own influence, we may see in the light of what happened after his death. The
good that he had done died with him. The refinement he had laid upon vulgarity fell away, like enamel from
withered cheeks. It was only George himself who had made the sham endure. The Victorian era came soon,
and the angels rushed in and drove the nymphs away and hung the land with reps.
I have often wondered whether it was with a feeling that his influence would be no more than lifelong, that
George allowed Carlton House, that dear structure, the very work of his life and symbol of his being, to be
rased. I wish that Carlton House were still standing. I wish we could still walk through those corridors, whose
walls were `crusted with ormolu,' and parquetfloors were `so glossy that, were Narcissus to come down
from heaven, he would, I maintain, need no other mirror for his beaute'.' I wish that we could see the pier
glasses and the girandoles and the twisted sofas, the fauns foisted upon the ceiling and the rident goddesses
along the wall. These things would make George's memory dearer to us, help us to a fuller knowledge of him.
I am glad that the Pavilion still stands here in Brighton. Its trite lawns and wanton cupolae have taught me
much. As I write this essay, I can see them from my window. Last night, in a crowd of trippers and
townspeople, I roamed the lawns of that dishonoured palace, whilst a band played us tunes. Once I fancied I
saw the shade of a swaying figure and of a winered face.
Brighton, 1894.
The Pervasion of Rouge
Nay, but it is useless to protest. Artifice must queen it once more in the town, and so, if there be any whose
hearts chafe at her return, let them not say, `We have come into evil times,' and be all for resistance,
reformation, or angry cavilling. For did the king's sceptre send the sea retrograde, or the wand of the sorcerer
avail to turn the sun from its old course? And what man or what number of men ever stayed that inexorable
process by which the cities of this world grow, are very strong, fail, and grow again? Indeed, indeed, there is
charm in every period, and only fools and flutterpates do not seek reverently for what is charming in their
own day. No martyrdom, however fine, nor satire, however splendidly bitter, has changed by a little tittle the
known tendency of things. It is the times that can perfect us, not we the times, and so let all of us wisely
acquiesce. Like the little wired marionettes, let us acquiesce in the dance.
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For behold! The Victorian era comes to its end and the day of sancta simplicitas is quite ended. The old signs
are here and the portents to warn the seer of life that we are ripe for a new epoch of artifice. Are not men
rattling the dicebox and ladies dipping their fingers in the rougepot? At Rome, in the keenest time of her
degringolade, when there was gambling even in the holy temples, great ladies (does not Lucian tell us?) did
not scruple to squander all they had upon unguents from Arabia. Nero's mistress and unhappy wife, Poppaea,
of shameful memory, had in her travelling retinue fifteenor, as some say, fiftysheasses, for the sake of
their milk, that was thought an incomparable guard against cosmetics with poison in them. Last century, too,
when life was lived by candlelight, and ethics was but etiquette, and even art a question of punctilio,
women, we know, gave the best hours of the day to the crafty farding of their faces and the towering of their
coiffures. And men, throwing passion into the wine bowl to sink or swim, turned out thought to browse
upon the green cloth. Cannot we even now in our fancy see them, those silent exquisites round the long table
at Brooks's, masked, all of them, `lest the countenance should betray feeling,' in quinze masks, through whose
eyelets they sat peeping, peeping, while macao brought them riches or ruin! We can see them, those silent
rascals, sitting there with their cards and their rouleaux and their wooden moneybowls, long after the dawn
had crept up St. James's and pressed its haggard face against the window of the little club. Yes, we can raise
their ghosts and, more, we can see manywhere a devotion to hazard fully as meek as theirs. In England
there has been a wonderful revival of cards. Baccarat may rival dead faro in the tale of her devotees. We have
all seen the sweet English cha^telaine at her roulette wheel, and ere long it may be that tender parents will be
writing to complain of the compulsory baccarat in our public schools.
In fact, we are all gamblers once more, but our gambling is on a finer scale than ever it was. We fly from the
cardroom to the heath, and from the heath to the City, and from the City to the coast of the Mediterranean.
And just as no one seriously encourages the clergy in its frantic efforts to lay the spirit of chance that has thus
resurged among us, so no longer are many faces set against that other great sign of a more complicated life,
the love for cosmetics. No longer is a lady of fashion blamed if, to escape the outrageous persecution of time,
she fly for sanctuary to the toilettable; and if a damosel, prying in her mirror, be sure that with brush and
pigment she can trick herself into more charm, we are not angry. Indeed, why should we ever have been?
Surely it is laudable, this wish to make fair the ugly and overtop fairness, and no wonder that within the last
five years the trade of the makers of cosmetics has increased immoderately twentyfold, so one of these
makers has said to me. We need but walk down any modish street and peer into the little broughams that flit
past, or (in Thackeray's phrase) under the bonnet of any woman we meet, to see over how wide a kingdom
rouge reigns.
And now that the use of pigments is becoming general, and most women are not so young as they are painted,
it may be asked curiously how the prejudice ever came into being. Indeed, it is hard to trace folly, for that it is
inconsequent, to its start; and perhaps it savours too much of reason to suggest that the prejudice was due to
the tristful confusion man has made of soul and surface. Through trusting so keenly to the detection of the
one by keeping watch upon the other, and by force of the thousand errors following, he has come to think of
surface even as the reverse of soul. He seems to suppose that every clown beneath his paint and lipsalve is
moribund and knows it (though in verity, I am told, clowns are as cheerful a class of men as any other), that
the fairer the fruit's rind and the more delectable its bloom, the closer are packed the ashes within it. The very
jargon of the huntingfield connects cunning with a mask. And so perhaps came man's anger at the
embellishment of womenthat lovely mask of enamel with its shadows of pink and tiny pencilled veins,
what must lurk behind it? Of what treacherous mysteries may it not be the screen? Does not the heathen
lacquer her dark face, and the harlot paint her cheeks, because sorrow has made them pale?
After all, the old prejudice is adying. We need not pry into the secret of its birth. Rather is this a time of
jolliness and glad indulgence. For the era of rouge is upon us, and as only in an elaborate era can man, by the
tangled accrescency of his own pleasures and emotions, reach that refinement which is his highest excellence,
and by making himself, so to say, independent of Nature, come nearest to God, so only in an elaborate era is
woman perfect. Artifice is the strength of the world, and in that same mask of paint and powder, shadowed
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with vermeil tinct and most trimly pencilled, is woman's strength.
For see! We need not look so far back to see woman under the direct influence of Nature. Early in this
century, our grandmothers, sickening of the odour of faded exotics and spilt wine, came out into the daylight
once more and let the breezes blow around their faces and enter, sharp and welcome, into their lungs. Artifice
they drove forth and they set Martin Tupper upon a throne of mahogany to rule over them. A very reign of
terror set in. All things were sacrificed to the fetish Nature. Old ladies may still be heard to tell how, when
they were girls, affectation was not; and, if we verify their assertion in the light of such literary authorities as
Dickens, we find that it is absolutely true. Women appear to have been in those days utterly natural in their
conductflighty, fainting, blushing, gushing, giggling, and shaking their curls. They knew no reserve in the
first days of the Victorian era. No thought was held too trivial, no emotion too silly, to express. To Nature
everything was sacrificed. Great heavens! And in those barren days what influence did women exert! By men
they seem not to have been feared nor loved, but regarded rather as `dear little creatures' or `wonderful little
beings,' and in their relation to life as foolish and ineffectual as the landscapes they did in watercolour. Yet,
if the women of those years were of no great account, they had a certain charm, and they at least had not
begun to trespass upon men's ground; if they touched not thought, which is theirs by right, at any rate they
refrained from action, which is ours. Far more serious was it when, in the natural trend of time, they became
enamoured of rinking and archery and galloping along the Brighton Parade. Swiftly they have sped on since
then from horror to horror. The invasion of the tenniscourts and of the golflinks, the seizure of the bicycle
and of the typewriter, were but steps pre liminary in that campaign which is to end with the final victorious
occupation of St. Stephen's. But stay! The horrific pioneers of womanhood who gad hither and thither and,
confounding wisdom with the device on her shield, shriek for the unbecoming, are doomed. Though they spin
their bicycletreadles so amazingly fast, they are too late. Though they scream victory, none follow them.
Artifice, that fair exile, has returned.
Yes, though the pioneers know it not, they are doomed already. For of the curiosities of history not the least
strange is the manner in which two social movements may be seen to overlap, long after the second has, in
truth, given its deathblow to the first. And, in like manner, as one has seen the limbs of a murdered thing in
lively movement, so we need not doubt that, though the voices of those who cry out for reform be very
terribly shrill, they will soon be hushed. Dear Artifice is with us. It needed but that we should wait.
Surely, without any of my pleading, women will welcome their great and amiable protectrix, as by instinct.
For (have I not said?) it is upon her that all their strength, their life almost, depends. Artifice's first command
to them is that they should repose. With bodily activity their powder will fly, their enamel crack. They are
butterflies who must not flit, if they love their bloom. Now, setting aside the point of view of passion, from
which very many obvious things might be said (and probably have been by the minor poets), it is, from the
intellectual point of view, quite necessary that a woman should repose. Hers is the resupinate sex. On her
couch she is a goddess, but so soon as ever she put her foot to the groundho, she is the veriest little
sillypop, and quite done for. She cannot rival us in action, but she is our mistress in the things of the mind.
Let her not by secondrate athletics, nor indeed by any exercise soever of the limbs, spoil the pretty
procedure of her reason. Let her be content to remain the guide, the subtle suggester of what we must do, the
strategist whose soldiers we are, the little architect whose workmen.
`After all,' as a pretty girl once said to me, `women are a sex by themselves, so to speak,' and the sharper the
line between their worldly functions and ours, the better. This greater swiftness and less erring subtlety of
mind, their forte and privilege, justifies the painted mask that Artifice bids them wear. Behind it their minds
can play without let. They gain the strength of reserve. They become important, as in the days of the Roman
Empire were the Emperor's mistresses, as was the Pompadour at Versailles, as was our Elizabeth. Yet do not
their faces become lined with thought; beautiful and without meaning are their faces.
And, truly, of all the good things that will happen with the full revival of cosmetics, one of the best is that
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surface will finally be severed from soul. That damnable confusion will be solved by the extinguishing of a
prejudice which, as I suggest, itself created. Too long has the face been degraded from its rank as a thing of
beauty to a mere vulgar index of character or emotion. We had come to troubling ourselves, not with its
charm of colour and line, but with such ques tions as whether the lips were sensuous, the eyes full of
sadness, the nose indicative of determination. I have no quarrel with physiognomy. For my own part I believe
in it. But it has tended to degrade the face aesthetically, in such wise as the study of cheirosophy has tended
to degrade the hand. And the use of cosmetics, the masking of the face, will change this. We shall gaze at a
woman merely because she is beau tiful, not stare into her face anxiously, as into the face of a barometer.
How fatal it has been, in how many ways, this confusion of soul and service! Wise were the Greeks in
making plain masks for their mummers to play in, and dunces we not to have done the same! Only the other
day, an actress was saying that what she was most proud of in her art next, of course, to having appeared in
some provincial pantomime at the age of threewas the deftness with which she contrived, in parts
demanding a rapid succession of emotions, to dab her cheeks quite quickly with rouge from the palm of her
right hand or powder from the palm of her left. Gracious goodness! why do not we have masks upon the
stage? Drama is the presentment of the soul in action. The mirror of the soul is the voice. Let the young
critics, who seek a cheap reputation for austerity, by cavilling at `incidental music,' set their faces rather
against the attempt to justify inferior dramatic art by the subvention of a quite alien art like painting, of any
art, indeed, whose sphere is only surface. Let those, again, who sneer, so rightly, at the `painted anecdotes of
the Academy,' censure equally the writers who trespass on painters' ground. It is a proclaimed sin that a
painter should concern himself with a good little girl's affection for a Scotch greyhound, or the keen
enjoyment of their port by elderly gentlemen of the early 'forties. Yet, for a painter to prod the soul with his
paintbrush is no worse than for a novelist to refuse to dip under the surface, and the fashion of avoiding a
psychological study of grief by stating that the owner's hair turned white in a single night, or of shame by
mentioning a sudden rush of scarlet to the cheeks, is as lamentable as may be. But! But with the universal use
of cosmetics and the consequent secernment of soul and surface, upon which, at the risk of irritating a reader,
I must again insist, all those old properties that went to bolster up the ordinary novelthe trembling lips, the
flashing eyes, the determined curve of the chin, the nervous trick of biting the moustache, aye, and the hectic
spot of red on either cheekwill be made spiflicate, as the puppets were spiflicated by Don Quixote. Yes,
even now Demos begins to discern. The same spirit that has revived rouge, smote his mouth as it grinned at
the wondrous painter of mist and river, and now sends him sprawling for the pearls that Meredith dived for in
the deep waters of romance.
Indeed the revival of cosmetics must needs be so splendid an influence, conjuring boons innumerable, that
one inclines almost to mutter against that inexorable law by which Artifice must perish from time to time.
That such branches of painting as the staining of glass or the illuminating of manuscripts should fall into
disuse seems, in comparison, so likely; these were esoteric arts; they died with the monastic spirit. But
personal appearance is art's very basis. The painting of the face is the first kind of painting men can have
known. To make beautiful thingsis it not an impulse laid upon few? But to make oneself beautiful is an
universal instinct. Strange that the resultant art could ever perish! So fascinating an art too! So various in its
materials from stimmis, psimythium, and fuligo to bismuth and arsenic, so simple in that its ground and its
subjectmatter are one, so marvellous in that its very subjectmatter becomes lovely when an artist has
selected it! For surely this is no idle nor fantastic finished work of its exponents depends for beauty and
excellence upon the ground chosen for the work, is absurd. At the touch of a true artist, the plainest face turns
comely. As subjectmatter the face is no more than suggestive, as ground, merely a loom round which the
beatus artifex may spin the threads of any golden fabric:
`Quae nunc nomen habent operosi signa Maronis Pondus iners quondam duraque massa fuit. Multa viros
nescire decet; pars maxima rerum Offendat, si non interiora tegas,'
and, as Ovid would seem to suggest, by pigments any tone may be set aglow on a woman's cheek, from
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enamel the features take any form. Insomuch that surely the advocates of soupkitchens and freelibraries
and other devices for giving people what Providence did not mean them to receive should send out pamphlets
in the praise of self embellishment. For it will place Beauty within easy reach of many who could not
otherwise hope to attain to it.
But of course Artifice is rather exacting. In return for the repose she forcesso wisely!upon her followers
when the sun is high or the moon is blown across heaven, she demands that they should pay her long homage
at the sun's rising. The initiate may not enter lightly upon her mysteries. For, if a bad complexion be
inexcusable, to be ill painted is unforgivable; and, when the toilet is laden once more with the fulness of its
elaboration, we shall hear no more of the proper occupation for women. And think, how sweet an energy, to
sit at the mirror of coquetry! See the dear merits of the toilet as shown upon old vases, or upon the walls of
Roman ruins, or, rather still, read Bo"ttiger's alluring, scholarly description of `Morgenscenen im Puttzimmer
Einer Reichen Ro"merin.' Read of Sabina's face as she comes through the curtain of her bedchamber to the
chamber of her toilet. The slavegirls have long been chafing their white feet upon the marble floor. They
stand, those timid Greek girls, marshalled in little battalions. Each has her appointed task, and all kneel in
welcome as Sabina stalks, ugly and frowning, to the toilet chair. Scaphion steps forth from among them, and,
dipping a tiny sponge in a bowl of hot milk, passes it lightly, ever so lightly, over her mistress' face. The
Poppaean pastes melt beneath it like snow. A cooling lotion is poured over her brow, and is fanned with
feathers. Phiale comes after, a clever girl, captured in some seaskirmish on the Aegean. In her left hand she
holds the ivory box wherein are the phucus and that white powder, psimythium; in her right a sheaf of slim
brushes. With how sure a touch does she mingle the colours, and in what sweet proportion blushes and
blanches her lady's upturned face. Phiale is the cleverest of all the slaves. Now Calamis dips her quill in a
certain powder that floats, liquid and sable, in the hollow of her palm. Standing upon tiptoe and with lips
parted, she traces the arch of the eyebrows. The slaves whisper loudly of their lady's beauty, and two of them
hold up a mirror to her. Yes, the eyebrows are rightly arched. But why does Psecas abase herself? She is
craving leave to powder Sabina's hair with a fine new powder. It is made of the grated rind of the cedar tree,
and a Gallic perfumer, whose stall is near the Circus, gave it to her for a kiss. No lady in Rome knows of it.
And so, when four special slaves have piled up the headdress, out of a perforated box this glistening powder
is showered. Into every little brown ringlet it enters, till Sabina's hair seems like a pile of gold coins. Lest the
breezes send it flying, the girls lay the powder with sprinkled attar. Soon Sabina will start for the Temple of
Cybele.
Ah! Such are the lures of the toilet that none will for long hold aloof from them. Cosmetics are not going to
be a mere prosaic remedy for age or plainness, but all ladies and all young girls will come to love them. Does
not a certain blithe Marquise, whose lettres intimes from the Court of Louis Seize are less read than their wit
deserves, tell us how she was scandalised to see `me^me les toutes jeunes demoiselles e'maille'es comme ma
tabatie`re'? So it shall be with us. Surely the common prejudice against painting the lily can but be based on
mere ground of economy. That which is already fair is complete, it may be urgedurged implausibly, for
there are not so many lovely things in this world that we can afford not to know each one of them by heart.
There is only one white lily, and who that has ever seenas I havea lily really well painted could grudge
the artist so fair a ground for his skill? Scarcely do you believe through how many nice metamorphoses a lily
may be passed by him. In like manner, we all know the young girl, with her simpleness, her goodness, her
wayward ignorance. And a very charming ideal for England must she have been, and a very natural one,
when a young girl sat even on the throne. But no nation can keep its ideal for ever, and it needed none of Mr.
Gilbert's delicate satire in `Utopia' to remind us that she had passed out of our ken with the rest of the early
Victorian era. What writer of plays, as lately asked some pressman, who had been told off to attend many
first nights and knew what he was talking about, ever dreams of making the young girl the centre of his
theme? Rather he seeks inspiration from the tried and tired woman of the world, in all her intricate maturity,
whilst, by way of comic relief, he sends the young girl flitting in and out with a tennisracket, the poor
eido^lon amauron of her former self. The season of the unsophisticated is gone by, and the young girl's final
extinction beneath the rising tides of cosmetics will leave no gap in life and will rob art of nothing.
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`Tush,' I can hear some damned flutterpate exclaim, `girlishness and innocence are as strong and as
permanent as womanhood itself! Why, a few months past, the whole town went mad over Miss Cissie Loftus!
Was not hers a success of girlish innocence and the absence of rouge? If such things as these be outmoded,
why was she so wildly popular?' Indeed, the triumph of that clever girl, whose de'but made London nice even
in August, is but another witness to the truth of my contention. In a very sophisticated time, simplicity has a
new dulcedo. Hers was a success of contrast. Accustomed to clever malaperts like Miss Lloyd or Miss Reeve,
whose experienced pouts and smiles under the sunbonnet are a standing burlesque of innocence and
girlishness, Demos was really delighted, for once and away, to see the real presentment of these things upon
his stage. Coming after all those sly serios, coming so young and mere with her pink frock and straightly
combed hair, Miss Cissie Loftus had the charm which things of another period often do possess. Besides, just
as we adored her for the abrupt nod with which she was wont at first to acknowledge the applause, so we
were glad for her to come upon the stage with nothing to tinge the ivory of her cheeks. It seemed so strange,
that neglect of convention. To be behind footlights and not rouged! Yes, hers was a success of contrast. She
was like a daisy in the window at Solomons'. She was delightful. And yet, such is the force of convention,
that when last I saw her, playing in some burlesque at the Gaiety, her fringe was curled and her pretty face
rouged with the best of them. And, if further need be to show the absurdity of having called her performance
`a triumph of naturalness over the jaded spirit of modernity,' let us reflect that the little mimic was not a real
oldfashioned girl after all. She had none of that restless naturalness that would seem to have characterised
the girl of the early Victorian days. She had no pretty ways no smiles nor blushes nor tremors. Possibly
Demos could not have stood a presentment of girlishness unrestrained.
But, with her grave insouciance, Miss Cissie Loftus had much of the reserve that is one of the factors of
feminine perfection, and to most comes only, as I have said, with artifice. Her features played very, very
slightly. And in truth, this may have been one of the reasons of her great success. For expression is but too
often the ruin of a face; and, since we cannot, as yet, so order the circumstances of life that women shall
never be betrayed into `an unbecoming emotion,' when the brunette shall never have cause to blush nor La
Gioconda to frown, the safest way by far is to create, by brush and pigments, artificial expression for every
face.
And thissay you?will make monotony? You are mistaken, tots caelo mistaken. When your mistress has
wearied you with one expression, then it will need but a few touches of that pencil, a backward sweep of that
brush, and ho, you will be revelling in another. For though, of course, the painting of the face is, in manner,
most like the painting of canvas, in outcome it is rather akin to the art of musiclasting, like music's echo,
not for very long. So that, no doubt, of the many little appurtenances of the Reformed Toilet Table, not the
least vital will be a list of the emotions that become its owner, with recipes for simulating them. According to
the colour she wills her hair to be for the timeblack or yellow or, peradventure, burnished redshe will
blush for you, sneer for you, laugh or languish for you. The good combinations of line and colour are nearly
numberless, and by their means poor restless woman will be able to realise her moods in all their shades and
lights and dappledoms, to live many lives and masquerade through many moments of joy. No monotony will
be. And for us men matrimony will have lost its sting.
But that in the world of women they will not neglect this art, so ripping in itself, in its result so wonderfully
beneficent, I am sure indeed. Much, I have said, is already done for its full revival. The spirit of the age has
made straight the path of its professors. Fashion has made Jezebel surrender her monopoly of the rougepot.
As yet, the great art of selfembellishment is for us but in its infancy. But if Englishwomen can bring it to the
flower of an excellence so supreme as never yet has it known, then, though Old England lose her martial and
commercial supremacy, we patriots will have the satisfaction of knowing that she has been advanced at one
bound to a place in the councils of aesthetic Europe. And, in sooth, is this hoping too high of my
countrywomen? True that, as the art seems always to have appealed to the ladies of Athens, and it was not
until the waning time of the Republic that Roman ladies learned to love the practice of it, so Paris, Athenian
in this as in all other things, has been noted hitherto as a far more vivid centre of the art than London. But it
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was in Rome, under the Emperors, that unguentaria reached its zenith, and shall it not be in London, soon,
that unguentaria shall outstrip its Roman perfection! Surely there must be among us artists as cunning in the
use of brush and puff as any who lived at Versailles. Surely the splendid, impalpable advance of good taste,
as shown in dress and in the decoration of houses, may justify my hope of the pree"minence of
Englishwomen in the cosmetic art. By their innate delicacy of touch they will accomplish much, and much, of
course, by their swift feminine perception. Yet it were well that they should know something also of the
theoretical side of the craft. Modern authorities upon the mysteries of the toilet are, it is true, rather few; but
among the ancients many a writer would seem to have been fascinated by them. Archigenes, a man of science
at the Court of Cleopatra, and Criton at the Court of the Emperor Trajan, both wrote treatises upon
cosmeticsdoubtless most scholarly treatises that would have given many a precious hint. It is a pity they
are not extant. From Lucian or from Juvenal, with his bitter picture of a Roman leve'e, much may be learnt;
from the staid pages of Xenophon and Aristophanes' dear farces. But best of all is that fine book of the Ars
Amatoria that Ovid has set aside for the consideration of dyes, perfumes, and pomades. Written by an artist
who knew the allurement of the toilet and understood its philosophy, it remains without rival as a treatise
upon Artifice. It is more than a poem, it is a manual; and if there be left in England any lady who cannot read
Latin in the original, she will do well to procure a discreet translation. In the Bodleian Library there is
treasured the only known copy of a very poignant and delightful rendering of this one book of Ovid's
masterpiece. It was made by a certain Wye Waltonstall, who lived in the days of Elizabeth, and, seeing that
he dedicated it to `the Vertuous Ladyes and Gentlewomen of Great Britain,' I am sure that the gallant writer,
could he know of our great renaissance of cosmetics, would wish his little work to be placed once more
within their reach. `Inasmuch as to you, ladyes and gentlewomen,' so he writes in his queer little dedication,
`my booke of pigments doth first addresse itself, that it may kisse your hands and afterward have the lines
thereof in reading sweetened by the odour of your breath, while the dead letters formed into words by your
divided lips may receive new life by your passionate expression, and the words marryed in that Ruby
coloured temple may thus happily united, multiply your contentment.' It is rather sad to think that, at this
crisis in the history of pigments, the Vertuous Ladyes and Gentlewomen cannot read the libellus of Wye
Waltonstall, who did so dearly love pigments.
But since the days when these great critics wrote their treatises, with what gifts innumerable has Artifice been
loaded by Science! Many little partitions must be added to the narthecium before it can comprehend all the
new cosmetics that have been quietly devised since classical days, and will make the modern toilet chalks
away more splendid in its possibilities. A pity that no one has devoted himself to the compiling of a new list;
but doubtless all the newest devices are known to the admirable unguentarians of Bond Street, who will
impart them to their clients. Our thanks, too, should be given to Science for ridding us of the old danger that
was latent in the use of cosmetics. Nowadays they cannot, being purged of any poisonous element, do harm
to the skin that they make beautiful. There need be no more sowing the seeds of destruction in the furrows of
time, no martyrs to the cause like Maria, Countess of Coventry, that fair dame but infelix, who died, so they
relate, from the effect of a poisonous rouge upon her lips. No, we need have no fears now. Artifice will claim
not another victim from among her worshippers.
Loveliness shall sit at the toilet, watching her oval face in the oval mirror. Her smooth fingers shall flit
among the paints and powder, to tip and mingle them, catch up a pencil, clasp a phial, and what not and what
not, until the mask of vermeil tinct has been laid aptly, the enamel quite hardened. And, heavens, how she
will charm us and ensorcel our eyes! Positively rouge will rob us for a time of all our reason; we shall go mad
over masks. Was it not at Capua that they had a whole street where nothing was sold but dyes and unguents?
We must have such a street, and, to fill our new Seplasia, our Arcade of the Unguents, all herbs and minerals
and live creatures shall give of their substance. The white cliffs of Albion shall be ground to powder for
Loveliness, and perfumed by the ghost of many a little violet. The fluffy eiderducks, that are swimming
round the pond, shall lose their feathers, that the powderpuff may be moonlike as it passes over Loveliness'
lovely face. Even the camels shall become ministers of delight, giving many tufts of their hair to be stained in
her splendid colourbox, and across her cheek the swift hare's foot shall fly as of old. The sea shall offer her
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the phucus, its scarlet weed. We shall spill the blood of mulberries at her bidding. And, as in another period
of great ecstasy, a dancing wanton, la belle Aubrey, was crowned upon a church's lighted altar, so Arsenic,
that `greentress'd goddess,' ashamed at length of skulking between the soup of the unpopular and the
testtubes of the Queen's analyst, shall be exalted to a place of consummate honour upon the toilettable of
Loveliness.
All these things shall come to pass. Times of jolliness and glad indulgence! For Artifice, whom we drove
forth, has returned among us, and, though her eyes are red with crying, she is smiling forgiveness. She is
kind. Let us dance and be glad, and trip the cockawhoop! Artifice, sweetest exile, is come into her kingdom.
Let us dance her a welcome!
Oxford, 1894.
Poor Romeo!
Even now Bath glories in his legend, not idly, for he was the most fantastic animal that ever stepped upon her
pavement. Were ever a statue given him (and indeed he is worthy of a grotesque in marble), it would be put
in Pulteney Street or the Circus. I know that the palm trees of Antigua overshadowed his cradle, that there
must be even now in Boulogne many who set eyes on him in the time of his less fatuous declension, that he
died in London. But Mr. Coates (for of that Romeo I write) must be claimed by none of these places. Bath
saw the laughable disaster of his de'but, and so, in a manner, his whole life seems to belong to her, and the
story of it to be a part of her annals.
The Antiguan was already on the brink of middleage when he first trod the English shore. But, for all his
thirtyseven years, he had the heart of a youth, and his purse being yet as heavy as his heart was light, the
English sun seemed to shine gloriously about his path and gild the letters of introduction that he scattered
everywhere. Also, he was a gentleman of amiable, nearly elegant mien, and something of a scholar. His
father had been the most respectable resident Antigua could show, so that little Robert, the future Romeo, had
often sat at dessert with distinguished travellers through the Indies. But in the year 1807 old Mr. Coates had
died. As we may read in vol. lxxviii. of The Gentleman's Magazine, `the Almighty, whom he alone feared,
was pleased to take him from this life, after having sustained an untarnished reputation for seventythree
years,' a passage which, though objectionable in its theology, gives the true story of Romeo's antecedents and
disposes of the later calumnies that declared him the son of a tailor. Realising that he was now an orphan, an
orphan with not a few grey hairs, our hero had set sail in quest of amusing adventure.
For three months he took the waters of Bath, unobtrusively, like other wellbred visitors. His attendance was
solicited for all the most fashionable routs, and at assemblies he sat always in the shade of some titled turban.
In fact, Mr. Coates was a great success. There was an air of most romantic mystery that endeared his presence
to all the damsels fluttering fans in the Pump Room. It set them vying for his conduct through the mazes of
the Quadrille or of the Triumph, and blushing at the sound of his name. Alas! their tremulous rivalry lasted
not long. Soon they saw that Emma, sole daughter of Sir James Tylney Long, that wealthy baronet, had cast a
magic net about the warm Antiguan heart. In the wake of her chair, by night and day, Mr. Coates was
obsequious. When she cried that she would not drink the water without some delicacy to banish the iron taste,
it was he who stood by with a box of vanillarusks. When he shaved his great moustachio, it was at her
caprice. And his devotion to Miss Emma was the more noted for that his own considerable riches were proof
that it was true and single. He himself warned her, in some verses written for him by Euphemia Boswell,
against the crew of penniless admirers who surrounded her :
`Lady, ah! too bewitching lady! now beware Of artful men that fain would thee ensnare Not for thy merit, but
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thy fortune's sake. Give me your handyour cash let venals take.'
Miss Emma was his first love. To understand his subsequent behaviour, let us remember that Cupid's shaft
pierces most poignantly the breast of middleage. Not that Mr. Coates was laughed at in Bath for a love
alackadaisy. On the contrary, his mien, his manner, were as yet so studiously correct, his speech so
reticent, that laughter had been unusually inept. The only strange taste evinced by him was his devotion to
theatricals. He would hold forth, by the hour, upon the fine conception of such parts as Macbeth, Othello and,
especially, Romeo. Many ladies and gentlemen were privileged to hear him recite, in this or that
drawingroom, after supper. All testified to the real fire with which he inflamed the lines of love or hatred.
His voice, his gesture, his scholarship, were all approved. A fine symphony of praise assured Mr. Coates that
no suitor worthier than he had ever courted Thespis. The lust for the footlights' glare grew lurid in his
mothish eye. What, after all, were these poor triumphs of the parlour? It might be that contemptuous Emma,
hearing the loud salvos of the gallery and boxes, would call him at length her lord.
At this time there arrived at the York House Mr. Pryse Gordon, whose memoirs we know. Mr. Coates himself
was staying at number ** Gay Street, but was in the habit of breakfasting daily at the York House, where he
attracted Mr. Gordon's attention by `rehearsing passages from Shakespeare, with a tone and gesture extremely
striking both to the eye and the ear.' Mr. Gordon warmly complimented him and suggested that he should
give a public exposition of his art. The cheeks of the amateur flushed with pleasure. `I am ready and willing,'
he replied, `to play "Romeo" to a Bath audience, if the manager will get up the play and give me a good
"Juliet"; my costume is superb and adorned with diamonds, but I have not the advantage of knowing the
manager, Dimonds.' Pleased by the stranger's ready wit, Mr. Gordon scribbled a note of introduction to
Dimonds there and then. So soon as he had `discussed a brace of muffins and so many eggs,' the new Romeo
started for the playhouse, and that very day bills were posted to the effect that `a Gentleman of Fashion would
make his first appearance on February 9 in a ro^le of Shakespeare.' All the lower boxes were immediately
secured by Lady Belmore and other lights of Bath. `Butlers and Abigails,' it is said, `were commanded by
their mistresses to take their stand in the centre of the pit and give Mr. Coates a capital, hearty clapping.'
Indeed, throughout the week that elapsed before the premie`re, no pains were spared in assuring a great
success. Miss Tylney Long showed some interest in the arrangements. Gossip spoke of her as a likely bride.
The night came. Fashion, Virtue, and Intellect thronged the house. Nothing could have been more cordial
than the temper of the gallery. All were eager to applaud the new Romeo. Presently, when the varlets of
Verona had brawled, there stepped into the squarewhat!a mountebank, a monstrosity. Hurrah died upon
every lip. The house was thunderstruck. Whose legs were in those scarlet pantaloons? Whose face grinned
over that bolstercravat, and under that Charles II. wig and operahat? From whose shoulders hung that
spangled skyblue cloak? Was this bedizened scarecrow the Amateur of Fashion, for sight of whom they had
paid their shillings? At length a voice from the gallery cried, `Good evening, Mr. Coates,' and, as the
Antiguanfor he it wasbowed low, the theatre was filled with yells of merriment. Only the people in the
boxes were still silent, staring coldly at the prote'ge' who had played them so odious a prank. Lady Belmore
rose and called for her chariot. Her example was followed by several ladies of rank. The rest sat spellbound,
and of their number was Miss Tylney Long, at whose rigid face many glasses were, of course, directed.
Meanwhile the play proceeded. Those lines that were not drowned in laughter Mr. Coates spoke in the most
foolish and extravagant manner. He cut little capers at odd moments. He laid his hand on his heart and
bowed, now to this, now to that part of the house, always with a grin. In the balconyscene he produced a
snuffbox, and, after taking a pinch, offered it to the bewildered Juliet. Coming down to the footlights, he
laid it on the cushion of the stagebox and begged the inmates to refresh themselves, and to `pass the golden
trifle on.' The performance, so obviously grotesque, was just the kind of thing to please the gods. The limp of
Hephaestus could not have called laughter so unquenchable from their lips. It is no trifle to set Englishmen
laughing, but once you have done it, you can hardly stop them. Act after act of the beautiful loveplay was
performed without one sign of satiety from the seers of it. The laughter rather swelled in volume. Romeo died
in so ludicrous a way that a cry of `encore' arose and the death was actually twice repeated. At the fall of the
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curtain there was prolonged applause. Mr. Coates came forward, and the goodhumoured public pelted him
with fragments of the benches. One splinter struck his right temple, inflicting a scar, of which Mr. Coates
was, in his old age, not a little proud. Such is the traditional account of this curious de'but. Mr. Pryse Gordon,
however, in his memoirs tells another tale. He professes to have seen nothing peculiar in Romeo's dress, save
its display of fine diamonds, and to have admired the whole interpretation. The attitude of the audience he
attributes to a hostile cabal. John R. and Hunter H. Robinson, in their memoir of Romeo Coates, echo Mr.
Pryse Gordon's tale. They would have done well to weigh their authorities more accurately.
I had often wondered at this discrepancy between document and tradition. Last spring, when I was in Bath for
a few days, my mind brooded especially on the question. Indeed, Bath, with her faded memories, her
tristesse, drives one to reverie. Fashion no longer smiles from her windows nor dances in her sunshine, and in
her deserted parks the invalids build up their constitutions. Now and again, as one of the frequent chairs
glided past me, I wondered if its shadowy freight were the ghost of poor Romeo. I felt sure that the traditional
account of his de'but was mainly correct. How could it, indeed, be false? Tradition is always a safer guide to
truth than is the tale of one man. I might amuse myself here, in Bath, by verifying my notion of the de'but or
proving it false.
One morning I was walking through a narrow street in the western quarter of Bath, and came to the window
of a very little shop, which was full of dusty books, prints and engravings. I spied in one corner of it the
discoloured print of a queer, lean figure, posturing in a garden. In one hand this figure held a snuffbox, in
the other an operahat. Its sharp features and wide grin, flanked by luxuriant whiskers, looked strange under
a Caroline wig. Above it was a balcony and a lady in an attitude of surprise. Beneath it were these words,
faintly lettered : Bombastes Coates wooing the Peerless Capulet, that's 'nough (that snuff) 1809. I coveted the
print. I went into the shop.
A very old man peered at me and asked my errand. I pointed to the print of Mr. Coates, which he gave me for
a few shillings, chuckling at the pun upon the margin.
`Ah,' he said, `they're forgetting him now, but he was a fine figure, a fine sort of figure.'
`You saw him?'
`No, no. I'm only seventy. But I've known those who saw him. My father had a pile of such prints.'
`Did your father see him?' I asked, as the old man furled my treasure and tied it with a piece of tape.
`My father, sir, was a friend of Mr. Coates,' he said. `He entertained him in Gay Street. Mr. Coates was my
father's lodger all the months he was in Bath. A good tenant, too. Never eccentric under my father's
roofnever eccentric.'
I begged the old bookseller to tell me more of this matter. It seemed that his father had been a citizen of some
consequence, and had owned a house in modish Gay Street, where he let lodgings. Thither, by the advice of a
friend, Mr. Coates had gone so soon as he arrived in the town, and had stayed there down to the day after his
de'but, when he left for London.
`My father often told me that Mr. Coates was crying bitterly when he settled the bill and got into his
travellingchaise. He'd come back from the playhouse the night before as cheerful as could be. He'd said he
didn't mind what the public thought of his acting. But in the morning a letter was brought for him, and when
he read it he seemed to go quite mad.'
`I wonder what was in the letter!' I asked. `Did your father never know who sent it?'
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`Ah,' my greybeard rejoined, `that's the most curious thing. And it's a secret. I can't tell you.'
He was not as good as his word. I bribed him delicately with the purchase of more than one old book. Also, I
think, he was flattered by my eager curiosity to learn his longpent secret. He told me that the letter was
brought to the house by one of the footmen of Sir James Tylney Long, and that his father himself delivered it
into the hands of Mr. Coates.
`When he had read it through, the poor gentleman tore it into many fragments, and stood staring before him,
pale as a ghost. "I must not stay another hour in Bath," he said. When he was gone, my father (God forgive
him!) gathered up all the scraps of the letter, and for a long time he tried to piece them together. But there
were a great many of them, and my father was not a scholar, though he was affluent.'
`What became of the scraps?' I asked. `Did your father keep them?'
`Yes, he did. And I used to try, when I was younger, to make out something from them. But even I never
seemed to get near it. I've never thrown them away, though. They're in a box.'
I got them for a piece of gold that I could ill sparesome score or so of shreds of yellow paper, traversed
with pale ink. The joy of the archaeologist with an unknown papyrus, of the detective with a clue, surged in
me. Indeed, I was not sure whether I was engaged in private inquiry or in research; so recent, so remote was
the mystery. After two days' labour, I marshalled the elusive words. This is the text of them:
MR. COATES, SIR,
They say Revenge is sweet. I am fortunate to find it is so. I have compelled you to be far more a Fool than
you made me at the fe^te champe^tre of Lady B. I, having accomplished my aim, am ready to forgive you
now, as you implored me on the occasion of the fe^te. But pray build no Hope that I, forgiving you, will once
more regard you as my Suitor. For that cannot ever be. I decided you should show yourself a Fool before
many people. But such Folly does not commend your hand to mine. Therefore desist your irksome attention
,if need be, begone from Bath. I have punished you, would save my eyes the trouble to turn away from your
person. I pray that you regard this epistle as privileged and private.
E. T. L. 10 of February.
The letter lies before me as I write. It is written throughout in a firm and very delicate Italian hand. Under the
neat initials is drawn, instead of the ordinary flourish, an arrow, and the absence of any erasure in a letter of
such moment suggests a calm, deliberate character and, probably, rough copies. I did not, at the time, suffer
my fancy to linger over the tessellated document. I set to elucidating the reference to the fe^techampe^tre.
As I retraced my footsteps to the little bookshop, I wondered if I should find any excuse for the cruel
faithlessness of Emma Tylney Long.
The bookseller was greatly excited when I told him I had recreated the letter. He was very eager to see it. I
did not pander to his curiosity. He even offered to buy the article back at cost price. I asked him if he had ever
heard, in his youth, of any scene that had passed between Miss Tylney Long and Mr. Coates at some fe^te
champe^tre. The old man thought for some time, but he could not help me. Where then, I asked him, could I
search old files of local news papers? He told me that there were supposed to be many such files mouldering
in the archives of the Town Hall.
I secured access, without difficulty, to these files. A whole day I spent in searching the copies issued by this
and that journal during the months that Romeo was in Bath. In the yellow pages of these forgotten prints I
came upon many complimentary allusions to Mr. Coates : `The visitor welcomed (by all our aristocracy)
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from distant Ind,' `the ubiquitous,' `the charitable riche.' Of his `forthcoming impersonation of Romeo and
Juliet' there were constant puffs, quite in the modern manner. The accounts of his de'but all showed that Mr.
Pryse Gordon's account of it was fabulous. In one paper there was a bitter attack on `Mr. Gordon, who was
responsible for this insult to Thespian art, the gentry, and the people, for he first arranged the whole
production'an extract which makes it clear that this gentleman had a good motive for his version of the
affair.
But I began to despair of ever learning what happened at the fe^te champe^tre. There were accounts of `a
grand gardenparty, whereto Lady Belper, on March the twentyeighth, invited a host of fashionable
persons.' The names of Mr. Coates and of `Sir James Tylney Long and his daughter' were duly recorded in
the lists. But that was all. I turned at length to a tiny file, consisting of five copies only, Bladud's Courier.
Therein I found this paragraph, followed by some scurrilities which I will not quote:
`Mr. C**t*s, who will act Romeo (Wherefore art thou Romeo?) this coming week for the pleasure of his
fashionable circle, incurred the contemptuous wrath of his Lady Fair at the Fe^te. It was a sad pity she
entrusted him to hold her purse while she fed the goldfishes. He was very proud of the honour till the gold
fell from his hand among the goldfishes. How appropriate was the misadventure! But Miss Black Eyes,
angry at her loss and her swain's clumsiness, cried: "Jump into the pond, sir, and find my purse instanter!"
Several wags encouraged her, and the ladies were of the opinion that her adorer should certainly dive for the
treasure. "Alas," the fellow said, "I cannot swim, Miss. But tell me how many guineas you carried and I will
make them good to yourself." There was a great deal of laughter at this encounter, and the haughty damsel
turned on her heel, nor did shoe vouchsafe another word to her elderly lover.
`When recreant man Meets lady's wrath,
So the story of the de'but was complete! Was ever a lady more inexorable, more ingenious, in her revenge?
One can fancy the poor Antiguan going to the Baronet's house next day with a bouquet of flowers and
passionately abasing himself, craving her forgiveness. One can fancy the wounded vanity of the girl, her
shame that people had mocked her for the disobedience of her suitor. Revenge, as her letter shows, became
her one thought. She would strike him through his other love, the love of Thespis. `I have compelled you,' she
wrote afterwards, in her bitter triumph, `to be a greater Fool than you made me.' She, then, it was that drove
him to his public absurdity, she who insisted that he should never win her unless he sacrificed his dear
longing for stagelaurels and actually pilloried himself upon the stage. The wig, the pantaloons, the
snuffbox, the grin, were all conceived, I fancy, in her pitiless spite. It is possible that she did but say: `The
more ridiculous you make yourself, the more hope for you.' But I do not believe that Mr. Coates, a man of no
humour, conceived the means himself. They were surely hers.
It is terrible to think of the ambitious amateur in his bedroom, secretly practising hideous antics or gazing at
his absurd apparel before a mirror. How loath must he have been to desecrate the lines he loved so dearly and
had longed to declaim in all their beauty and their resonance! And then, what irony at the daily rehearsal!
With how sad a smile must he have received the compliments of Mr. Dimonds on his fine performance,
knowing how different it would all be `on the night! `Nothing could have steeled him to the ordeal but his
great love. He must have wavered, had not the exaltation of his love protected him. But the jeers of the mob
were music in his hearing, his wounds lovesymbols. Then came the girl's cruel contempt of his martyrdom.
Aphrodite, who has care of lovers, did not spare Miss Tylney Long. She made her love, a few months after,
one who married her for her fortune and broke her heart. In years of misery the wayward girl worked out the
penance of her unpardonable sin, dying, at length, in poverty and despair. Into the wounds of him who had so
truly loved her was poured, after a space of fourteen years, the balsam of another love. On the 6th September
1823, at St. George's, Hanover Square, Mr. Coates was married to Miss Anne Robinson, who was a faithful
and devoted wife to him till he died.
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Meanwhile, the rejected Romeo did not long repine. Two months after the tragedy at Bath, he was at
Brighton, mingling with all the fashionable folk, and giving admirable recitations at routs. He was seen every
day on the Parade, attired in an extravagant manner, very different to that he had adopted in Bath. A
paleblue surtout, tasselled Hessians, and a cocked hat were the most obvious items of his costume. He also
affected a very curious tumbril, shaped like a shell and richly gilded. In this he used to drive around, every
afternoon, amid the gapes of the populace. It is evident that, once having tasted the fruit of notoriety, he was
loath to fall back on simpler fare. He had become a prey to the love of absurd ostentation. A lively example
of dandyism unrestrained by taste, he parodied in his person the foibles of Mr. Brummell and the King. His
diamonds and his equipage and other follies became the gossip of every newspaper in England. Nor did a day
pass without the publication of some little rigmarole from his pen. Wherever there was a vacant
theatrewere it in Cheltenham, Birmingham, or any other townhe would engage it for his productions.
One night he would play his favourite part, Romeo, with reverence and ability. The next, he would repeat his
first travesty in all its hideous harlequinade. Indeed, there can be little doubt that Mr. Coates, with his vile
performances, must be held responsible for the decline of dramatic art in England and the invasion of the
amateur. The sight of such folly, strutting unabashed, spoilt the prestige of the theatre. Today our stage is
filled with tailors'dummy heroes, with heroines who have real curls and can open and shut their eyes and, at
a pinch, say `mamma' and `papa.' We must blame the Antiguan, I fear, for their existence. It was hethe
rascalwho first spread that scenae sacra fames. Some say that he was a schemer and impostor, feigning
eccentricity for his private ends. They are quite wrong; Mr. Coates was a very good man. He never made a
penny out of his performances; he even lost many hundred pounds. Moreover, as his speeches before the
curtain and his letters to the papers show, he took himself quite seriously. Only the insane take themselves
quite seriously.
It was the unkindness of his love that maddened him. But he lived to be the lightesthearted of lunatics and
caused great amusement for many years. Whether we think of him in his relation to history or psychology,
dandiacal or dramatic art, he is a salient, pathetic figure. That he is memorable for his defects, not for his
qualities, I know. But Romeo, in the tragedy of his wild love and frail intellect, in the folly that stretched the
corners of his `peculiar grin' and shone in his diamonds and was emblazoned upon his tumbril, is more
suggestive than some sages. He was so fantastic an animal that Oblivion were indeed amiss. If no more, he
was a great Fool. In any case, it would be fun to have seen him.
London, 1896.
Diminuendo
In the year of grace 1890, and in the beautiful autumn of that year, I was a freshman at Oxford. I remember
how my tutor asked me what lectures I wished to attend, and how he laughed when I said that I wished to
attend the lectures of Mr. Walter Pater. Also I remember how, one morning soon after, I went into Ryman's to
order some foolish engraving for my room, and there saw, peering into a portfolio, a small, thick, rockfaced
man, whose tophat and gloves of bright dog skin struck one of the many discords in that little city of
learning or laughter. The serried bristles of his moustachio made for him a falsemilitary air. I think I nearly
went down when they told me that this was Pater.
Not that even in those more decadent days of my childhood did I admire the man as a stylist. Even then I was
angry that he should treat English as a dead language, bored by that sedulous ritual wherewith he laid out
every sentence as in a shroudhanging, like a widower, long over its marmoreal beauty or ever he could lay
it at length in his book, its sepulchre. From that laden air, the so cadaverous murmur of that sanctuary, I
would hook it at the beck of any jade. The writing of Pater had never, indeed, appealed to me, all' aiei, having
regard to the couth solemnity of his mind, to his philosophy, his rare erudition, tina pho^ta megan kai kalon
The Works of Max Beerbohm
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edegmen [I received some great and beautiful light]. And I suppose it was when at length I saw him that I
first knew him to be fallible.
At school I had read Marius the Epicurean in bed and with a dark lantern. Indeed, I regarded it mainly as a
tale of adventure, quite as fascinating as Midshipman Easy, and far less hard to understand, because there
were no nautical terms in it. Marryat, moreover, never made me wish to run away to sea, whilst certainly
Pater did make me wish for more `colour' in the curriculum, for a renaissance of the Farrar period, when there
was always `a sullen spirit of revolt against the authorities'; when lockers were always being broken into and
marks falsified, and small boys prevented from saying their prayers, insomuch that they vowed they would no
longer buy brandy for their seniors. In some schools, I am told, the pretty old custom of roasting a
fourthform boy, whole, upon Founder's Day still survives. But in my school there was less sentiment. I
ended by acquiescing in the slow revolution of its wheel of work and play. I felt that at Oxford, when I should
be of age to matriculate, a `variegated dramatic life' was waiting for me. I was not a little too sanguine, alas!
How sad was my coming to the university! Where were those sweet conditions I had pictured in my
boyhood? Those antique contrasts? Did I ride, one sunset, through fens on a palfrey, watching the gold
reflections on Magdalen Tower? Did I ride over Magdalen Bridge and hear the consonance of eveningbells
and cries from the river below? Did I rein in to wonder at the raised gates of Queen's, the twisted pillars of St.
Mary's, the little shops, lighted with tapers? Did bullpups snarl at me, or dons, with bent backs,
acknowledge my salute? Any one who knows the place as it is, must see that such questions are purely
rhetorical. To him I need not explain the disappointment that beset me when, after being whirled in a cab
from the station to a big hotel, I wandered out into the streets. On aurait dit a bit of Manchester through which
Apollo had once passed; for here, among the hideous trains and the brandnew brickshere, glared at by the
electriclights that hung from poles, screamed at by boys with the Echo and the Starhere, in a riot of
vulgarity, were remnants of beauty, as I discerned. There were only remnants.
Soon also I found that the life of the place, like the place, had lost its charm and its tradition. Gone were the
contrasts that made it wonderful. That feud between undergraduates and donslatent, in the old days, only at
times when it behoved the two academic grades to unite against the townspeoplewas one of the absurdities
of the past. The townspeople now looked just like undergraduates and the dons just like townspeople. So
splendid was the trainservice between Oxford and London that, with hundreds of passengers daily, the one
had become little better than a suburb of the other. What more could extensionists demand? As for me, I was
disheartened. Bitter were the comparisons I drew between my coming to Oxford and the coming of Marius to
Rome. Could it be that there was at length no beautiful environment wherein a man might sound the
harmonies of his soul? Had civilisation made beauty, besides adventure, so rare? I wondered what counsel
Pater, insistent always upon contact with comely things, would offer to one who could nowhere find them. I
had been wondering that very day when I went into Ryman's and saw him there.
When the tumult of my disillusioning was past, my mind grew clearer. I discerned that the scope of my quest
for emotion must be narrowed. That abandonment of one's self to life, that merging of one's soul in bright
waters, so often suggested in Pater's writing, were a counsel impossible for today. The quest of emotions
must be no less keen, certainly, but the manner of it must be changed forthwith. To unswitch myself from my
surroundings, to guard my soul from contact with the unlovely things that compassed it about, therein lay my
hope. I must approach the Benign Mother with great caution. And so, while most of the freshmen `were doing
her honour with wine and song and wreaths of smoke, I stood aside, pondered. In such seclusion I passed my
first term ah, how often did I wonder whether I was not wasting my days, and, wondering, abandon my
meditations upon the right ordering of the future! Thanks be to Athene, who threw her shadow over me in
those moments of weak folly!
At the end of term I came to London. Around me seethed swirls, eddies, torrents, violent crosscurrents of
human activity. What uproar! Surely I could have no part in modern life. Yet, yet for a while it was
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fascinating to watch the ways of its children. The prodigious life of the Prince of Wales fascinated me above
all; indeed, it still fascinates me. What experience has been withheld from His Royal High ness? Was ever
so supernal a type, as he, of mere Pleasure? How often he has watched, at Newmarket, the scudarun of
quivering homuncules over the vert on horses, or, from some nightboat, the holocaust of great wharves by
the side of the Thames; raced through the blue Solent; threaded les coulisses! He has danced in every palace
of every capital, played in every club. He has hunted eleplants through the jungles of India, boar through the
forests of Austria, pigs over the plains of Massachusetts. From the Castle of Abergeldie he has led his
Princess into the frosty night, Highlanders lighting with torches the path to the deerlarder, where lay the
wild things that had fallen to him on the crags. He has marched the Grenadiers to chapel through the white
streets of Windsor. He has ridden through Moscow, in strange apparel, to kiss the catafalque of more than one
Tzar. For him the Rajahs of India have spoiled their temples, and Blondin has crossed Niagara along the
tightrope, and the Giant Guard done drill beneath the chandeliers of the Neue Schloss. Incline he to scandal,
lawyers are proud to whisper their secrets in his ear. Be he gallant, the ladies are at his feet. Ennuye', all the
wits from Bernal Osborne to Arthur Roberts have jested for him. He has been `present always at the focus
where the greatest number of forces unite in their purest energy,' for it is his presence that makes those forces
unite.
`Ennuye'?' I asked. Indeed he never is. How could he be when Pleasure hangs constantly upon his arm! It is
those others, overtaking her only after arduous chase, breathless and footsore, who quickly sicken of her
company, and fall fainting at her feet. And for me, shod neither with rank nor riches, what folly to join the
chase! I began to see how small a thing it were to sacrifice those external `experiences,' so dear to the heart of
Pater, by a rigid, complex civilisation made so hard to gain. They gave nothing but lassitude to those who had
gained them through suffering. Even to the kings and princes, who so easily gained them, what did they yield
besides themselves? I do not suppose that, if we were invited to give authenticated instances of intelligence
on the part of our royal pets, we could fill half a column of the Spectator. In fact, their lives are so full they
have no time for thought, the highest energy of man. Now, it was to thought that my life should be dedicated.
Action, apart from its absorption of time, would war otherwise against the pleasures of intellect, which, for
me, meant mainly the pleasures of imagination. It is only (this is a platitude) the things one has not done, the
faces or places one has not seen, or seen but darkly, that have charm. It is only mystery such mystery as
besets the eyes of childrenthat makes things superb. I thought of the voluptuaries I had knownthey
seemed so sad, so ascetic almost, like poor pilgrims, raising their eyes never or ever gazing at the moon of
tarnished endeavour. I thought of the round, insouciant faces of the monks at whose monastery I once broke
bread, and how their eyes sparkled when they asked me of the France that lay around their walls. I thought,
pardie, of the lurid verses written by young men who, in real life, know no haunt more lurid than a literary
publichouse. It was, for me, merely a problem how I could best avoid `sensations,' `pulsations,' and
`exquisite moments' that were not purely intellectual. I would not attempt to combine both kinds, as Pater
seemed to fancy a man might. I would make myself master of some small area of physical life, a life of quiet,
monotonous simplicity, exempt from all outer disturbance. I would shield my body from the world that my
mind might range over it, not hurt nor fettered. As yet, however, I was in my first year at Oxford. There were
many reasons that I should stay there and take my degree, reasons that I did not combat. Indeed, I was content
to wait for my life.
And now that I have made my adieux to the Benign Mother, I need wait no longer. I have been casting my
eye over the suburbs of London. I have taken a most pleasant little villa in ham, and here I shall make
my home. Here there is no traffic, no harvest. Those of the inhabitants who do anything go away each
morning and do it elsewhere. Here no vital forces unite. Nothing happens here. The days and the months will
pass by me, bringing their sure recurrence of quiet events. In the springtime I shall look out from my
window and see the laburnum flowering in the little front garden. In summer cool syrups will come for me
from the grocer's shop. Autumn will make the boughs of my mountainash scarlet, and, later, the asbestos in
my grate will put forth its blossoms of flame. The infrequent cart of Buszard or Mudie will pass my window
at all seasons. Nor will this be all. I shall have friends. Next door, there is a retired military man who has
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 36
Page No 39
offered, in a most neighbourly way, to lend me his copy of the Times. On the other side of my house lives a
charming family, who perhaps will call on me, now and again. I have seen them sally forth, at sundown, to
catch the theatretrain; among them walked a young lady, the charm of whose figure was ill concealed by the
neat waterproof that overspread her evening dress. Some day it may be...but I anticipate. These things will be
but the cosy accompaniment of my days. For I shall contemplate the world.
I shall look forth from my window, the laburnum and the mountainash becoming mere silhouettes in the
foreground of my vision. I shall look forth and, in nay remoteness, appreciate the distant pageant of the
world. Humanity will range itself in the columns of my morning paper. No pulse of life will escape me. The
strife of politics, the intriguing of courts, the wreck of great vessels, wars, dramas, earthquakes, national
griefs or joys; the strange sequels to divorces, even, and the mysterious suicides of landagents at
Ipswichin all such phenomena I shall steep my exhaurient mind. Delicias quoque bibliothecae experiar.
Tragedy, comedy, chivalry, philosophy will be mine. I shall listen to their music perpetually and their colours
will dance before my eyes. I shall soar from terraces of stone upon dragons with shining wings and make war
upon Olympus. From the peaks of hills I shall swoop into recondite valleys and drive the pigmies, shrieking
little curses, to their caverns. It may be my whim to wander through infinite parks where the deer lie under
the clustering shadow of their antlers and flee lightly over the grass; to whisper with white prophets under the
elms or bind a child with a daisychain or, with a lady, thread my way through the acacias. I shall swim
down rivers into the sea and outstrip all ships. Unhindered I shall penetrate all sanctuaries and snatch the
secrets of every dim confessional.
Yes! among books that charm, and give wings to the mind, will my days be spent. I shall be ever absorbing
the things great men have written; with such experience I will charge my mind to the full. Nor will I try to
give anything in return. Once, in the delusion that Art, loving the recluse, would make his life happy, I wrote
a little for a yellow quarterly and had that succe`s de fiasco which is always given to a young writer of talent.
But the stress of creation soon overwhelmed me. Only Art with a capital H gives any consolations to her
henchmen. And I, who crave no knighthood, shall write no more. I shall write no more. Already I feel myself
to be a trifle outmoded. I belong to the Beardsley period. Younger men, with months of activity before them,
with fresher schemes and notions, with newer enthusiasm, have pressed forward since then. Cedo junioribus.
Indeed, I stand aside with no regret. For to be outmoded is to be a classic, if one has written well. I have
acceded to the hierarchy of good scribes and rather like my niche.
Chicago, 1895.
THE WORKS OF MAX BEERBOHM
A BIBLIOGRAPHY
BY JOHN LANE
PREFACE
After some considerable experience in the field of bibliography I cannot plead as palliation for any
imperfections that may be discovered in this, that it is the work of a 'prentice hand. Difficult as I found my
selfimposed task in the case of the Meredith and Hardy bibliographies, here my labour has been still more
herculean.
It is impossible for one to compile a bibliography of a great man's works without making it in some sense a
biographyand indeed, in the minds of not a few people, I have found a delusion that the one is identical
with the other.
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 37
Page No 40
Mr. Beerbohm, as will be seen from the page headed Personalia, was born in London, August 24, 1872. In
searching the files of the Times I naturally looked for other remarkable occurrences on that date. There was
only one worth recording. On the day upon which Mr. Beerbohm was born, there appeared in the first column
of the Times, this announcement:
`On [Wednesday], the 21st August, at Brighton, the wife of V.P. Beardsley, Esq., of a son.'
That the same week should have seen the advent in this world of two such notable reformers as Aubrey
Beardsley and Max Beerbohm is a coincidence to which no antiquary has previously drawn attention. Is it
possible to overestimate the influence of these two men in the art and literature of the century?
Like two other great essayists, Addison and Steele, Mr. Beerbohm was educated at Charterhouse, and, like
the latter, at Merton College, Oxford. At Charterhouse he is still remembered for his Latin verses, and for the
superb gallery of portraits of the masters that he completed during his five years' sojourn there. There are still
extant a few copies of his satire, in Latin elegiacs, called Beccerius, privately printed at the suggestion of Mr.
A. H. Tod, his formmaster. The writer has said `Let it lie,' however, and in such a matter the author's wish
should surely be regarded. I have myself been unable to obtain a sight of a copy, but a more fortunate friend
has furnished me with a careful description of the opusculum, which I print in its place in the bibliography.
He matriculated at Merton in 1890, and immediately applied himself to the task he had set before him,
namely, a gallery of portraits of the Dons.
I am aware that he contributed to The Clown and other undergraduate journals: also that he was a member of
the Myrmidons' Club. It was during his residence at Oxford that his famous treatise on Cosmetics appeared in
the pages of an important London Quarterly, sets of which are still occasionally to be found in booksellers'
catalogues at a high price, though the American millionaire collector has made it one of the rarest of finds.
These were the days of his youth, the golden age of `decadence.' For is not decadence merely a fin de sie`cle
literary term synonymous with the `sowing his wild oats' of our grandfathers? a phrase still surviving in
agricultural districts, according to Mr. Andrew Lang, Mr. Edward Clodd, and other Folk Lorists.
Mr. Beerbohm, of course, was not the only writer of his period who appeared as the champion of artifice. A
contemporary, one Richard Le Gallienne, an eminent Pose Fancier, has committed himself somewhere to the
statement that `The bravest men that ever trod this planet have worn corsets.'
But what is so far away as yesteryear? In 1894, Mr. Beerbohm, in virtue of his `Defence of Cosmetics,' was
but a pamphleteer. In 1895 he was the famous historian, for in that year appeared the two earliest of his
profound historical studies, The History of the Year 1880, and his work on King George the Fourth. During
the growth of these masterpieces, his was a familiar figure in the British Museum and the Record Office, and
tradition asserts that the enlargement of the latter building, which took place some time shortly afterwards,
was mainly owing to his exertions.
Attended by his halfbrother, Mr. Tree, Mrs. Tree and a numerous theatrical suite, he sailed on the 16th of
January 1895, for America, with a view, it is said, to establishing a monarchy in that land. Mr. Beerbohm
does not appear to have succeeded in this project, though he was interviewed in many of the newspapers of
the States. He returned, re infecta, to the land of his birth, three months later.
After that he devoted himself to the completion of his lifework, here set forth.
The materials for this collection were drawn, with the courteous acquiescence of various publishers, from The
Pageant, The Savoy, The Chap Book, and The Yellow Book. Internal evidence shows that Mr. Beerbohm
took fragments of his writings from Vanity (of New York) and The Unicorn, that he might inlay them in the
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 38
Page No 41
First Essay, of whose scheme they are really a part. The Third Essay he rewrote. The rest he carefully
revised, and to some he gave new names.
Although it was my privilege on one occasion to meet Mr. Beerbohmat fiveo'clock teawhen advancing
years, powerless to rob him of one shade of his wonderful urbanity, had nevertheless imprinted evidence of
their flight in the pathetic stoop, and the low melancholy voice of one who, though resigned, yet yearns for
the happier past, I feel that too precise a description of his personal appearance would savour of impertinence.
The curious, on this point, I must refer to Mr. Sickert's and Mr. Rothenstein's portraits, which I hear that Mr.
Lionel Cust is desirous of acquiring for the National Portrait Gallery.
It is needless to say that this bibliography has been a labour of love, and that any further information readers
may care to send me will be gladly incorporated in future editions.
I must here express my indebtedness to Dr. Garnett, C.B., Mr. Bernard Quaritch, Mr. Clement K. Shorter,
Mr. L. F. Austin, Mr. J. M. Bullock, Mr. Lewis Hind, Mr. and Mrs. H. Beerbohm Tree, Mrs. Leverson, and
Miss Grace Conover, without whose assistance my work would have been far more arduous.
J.L. THE ALBANY, May 1896.
THE BIBLIOGRAPHY OF THE WORKS OF MAX BEERBOHM
1886.
A Letter to the Editor. The Carthusian, Dec. 1886, signed Diogenes. A bitter cry of complaint against the
dulness of the school paper. [Not reprinted.
[1890.]
Beccerius | a Latin fragment | with explanatory notes by M.B. [N.D. About twelve couplets printed on rough
yellow paper, pp. 1 to 4, cr. 8vo, notes in double columns at foot of page. No publisher's or printer's name.
1894.
A Defence of Cosmetics. The Yellow Book, Vol. I., April 1894, pp. 65 82. Reprinted in `The Works' under
the title of `The Pervasion of Rouge.'
Lines suggested by Miss Cissy Loftus. The Sketch, May 9, 1894, p. 71. A Caricature. [Not reprinted.
Mr. Phil May and Mr. Aubrey Beardsley. The Pall Mall Budget, June 7, 1894. Two Caricatures. [Not
reprinted.
Two Eminent Statesmen (the Rt. Hon. A. J. Balfour and the Rt. Hon. Sir Wm. Harcourt). Pall Mall Budget,
July 5, 1894. Two Caricatures. [Not reprinted.
Two Eminent Actors (Mr. Beerbohm Tree and Mr. Edward Terry). Pall Mall Budget, July 26, 1894. Two
Caricatures. [Not reprinted.
A Letter to the Editor. The Yellow Book, Vol. II., July 1894, pp. 281 284. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Gus Elen (Caricature). PickMeUp, Sept. 15, 1894. [Not reprinted.
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 39
Page No 42
Personal Remarks: Oscar Wilde (Caricature). PickMeUp, Sept. 22, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: R. G. Knowles, `There's a picture for you!' (Caricature). PickMeUp, Sept. 29, 1894.
[Not reprinted.
M. Henri Rochefort and Mr. Arthur Roberts. Pall Mall Budget, Oct. 4, 1894. Two Caricatures. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Henry Arthur Jones (Caricature). PickMeUp, Oct. 6, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Harry Furniss (Caricature). PickMeUp, Oct. 13, 1894. [Not reprinted.
A Caricature of George the Fourth. The Yellow Book, Vol. III., Oct. 1894. [Not reprinted.
A Note on George the Fourth. The Yellow Book, Vol. III., Oct. 1894, pp. 247269. Reprinted in `The Works'
under the title of `King George the Fourth.' A parody of this appeared under the title of `A Phalse Note on
George the Fourth,' in Punch, October 27, 1894, p. 204.
Personal Remarks: Lord Lonsdale (Caricature). PickMeUp, Oct 20, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: W. S. Gilbert (Caricature). Pick MeUp, Oct. 27, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: L. Raven Hill (Caricature). Pick MeUp, Nov. 3, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: The Marquis of Queensberry (Caricature). PickMeUp, Nov. 17, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Ada Reeve (Caricature). PickMeUp, Nov. 24, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Seymour Hicks (Caricature). PickMeUp, Dec. 1, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Corney Grain (Caricature). PickMeUp, Dec. 8, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Lord Randolph Churchill (Caricature). PickMeUp, Dec. 22, 1894. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Dutch Daly (Caricature). PickMeUp, Dec. 29, 1894. [Not reprinted.
1895.
Character Sketches of `The Chieftain' at the Savoy. I. Mr. Courtice Pounds. II. Mr. Scott Fishe. III. Mr.
Walter Passmore. PickMeUp, Jan. 5, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Henry Irving (Caricature). PickMeUp, Jan. 5, 1895.
`1880.' The Yellow Book, Vol. IV., Jan. 1895, pp. 275283. Reprinted in `The Works.' A parody of this
appeared, under the title of `1894,' by Max Mereboom, in Punch, February 2, 1895, p. 58.
Character Sketches of `An Ideal Husband' at the Haymarket. I. Mr. Bishop. II. Mr. Charles Hawtrey. III. Miss
Julia Neilson. PickMeUp, Jan. 19, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Harry Marks (Caricature). PickMeUp, Jan. 19, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: F. C. Burnand (Caricature). PickMeUp, Jan. 26, 1895. [Not reprinted.
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 40
Page No 43
Dandies and Dandies. Vanity (New York). Feb. 7, 1895. The above has been reprinted with additions and
alterations in `The Works.'
Personal Remarks: Arthur Pinero (Caricature). PickMeUp, Feb. 9, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Dandies and Dandies. Vanity (New York). Feb. 14, 1895.
Dandies and Dandies. Vanity (New York). Feb. 21, 1895. The above have been reprinted with additions and
alterations in `The Works.'
Personal Remarks: The Rt. Hon. Sir William Vernon Harcourt (Caricature). PickMeUp, Feb. 23, 1895.
[Not reprinted.
Dandies and Dandies. Vanity (New York). Feb. 28, 1895. The above has been reprinted with additions and
alterations in `The Works.'
Personal Remarks: Earl Spencer (Caricature). PickMeUp, March 9, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Arthur Balfour (Caricature). PickMeUp, March 16, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: S. B. Bancroft (Caricature). PickMeUp, March 23, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Paderewski (Caricature). PickMeUp, March 30, 1895. . [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Colonel North (Caricature). PickMeUp, April 6, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Personal Remarks: Alfred de Rothschild. PickMeUp, April 20, 189;. [Not reprinted.
Merton. (The Warden of Merton.) The Octopus, May 25, 1895. A Caricature. [Not reprinted.
Seen on the Towpath. The Octopus, May 29, 1895. A Caricature. [Not reprinted.
An Evening of Peculiar Delirium. The Sketch, July 24, 1895. [Not reprinted.
Notes in Foppery. The Unicorn, Sept. 18, 1895.
Notes in Foppery. The Unicorn, Sept. 25, 1895. The above have been reprinted with additions and alterations
in `The Works,' under the title of `Dandies and Dandies.'
Press Notices on `Punch and Judy,' selected by Max Beerbohm. The Sketch, Oct. 16, 1895 (p. 644). [Not
reprinted.
Be it Cosiness. The Pageant, Christmas, 1895, pp. 230235. Reprinted in `The Works' under the title of
`Diminuendo.' A parody of this appeared, under the title of `Be it Cosiness,' by Max Mereboom, in Punch,
Dec. 21, 1895, p. 297.
1896.
A Caricature of Mr. Beerbohm Tree, a wood engraving after the drawing by Max Beerbohm. The Savoy, No.
1, Jan. 1896, p. 125. [Not reprinted.
The Works of Max Beerbohm
The Works of Max Beerbohm 41
Page No 44
A Good Prince. The Savoy, No. 1, Jan. 1896, pp. 457. [Reprinted in `The Works.'
De Natura Barbatulorum. The ChapBook, Feb. 15, 1896, pp. 305312. The above has been reprinted with
additions and alterations in `The Works,' under the title of `Dandies and Dandies.'
Poor Romeo! The Yellow Book, Vol. IX., April '96, pp. 169181. [Reprinted in `The Works.'
A Caricature of Aubrey Beardsley. A wood engraving after the drawing by Max Beerbohm. The Savoy, No.
2, April 1896, p. 161.
PERSONALIA.
On the 24th instant, at 57 Palace Gardens Terrace, Kensington, the wife of J. E. Beerbohm, Esq., of a son.
The Times, Aug. 26, 1872.
A few words with Mr. Max Beerbohm. (An interview by Ada Leverson.) The Sketch, Jan. 2, 1895, p. 439.
Max Beerbohm: an interview by Isabel Brooke Alder. Woman, April 29, 1896, pp. 8 9.
On Mr. Beerbohm leaving Oxford in July 1895, he took up his residence at 19 Hyde Park Place, formerly the
residence of another wellknown historianW. C. Kinglake. Woman, April 29, 1896, p. 8.
PORTRAITS OF MR. MAX BEERBOHM.
Max Beerbohm in `Boyhood.' The Sketch, Jan. 2, 189;, p. 439.
Max Beerbohm. Oxford Characters. Lithographs by Will Rothenstein. Part 6. It is believed this artist did
several pastels of Mr. Beerbohm.
Portrait of Mr. Beerbohm standing before a picture of George the Fourth, by Walter Sickert.
Mr. Max Beerbohm. Woman, April 29, 1896, p. 8.
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The Works of Max Beerbohm 42
Bookmarks
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2. The Works of Max Beerbohm , page = 4